#but theres no use hoping for things just to be in denial

[gibbearish]

donate to palestinian gofundmes! remember your clicks! watch out for scam gofundmes! gofundme is refusing to release the funds to palestinian gofundmes! remember your clicks! theres a ceasefire! israel is breaking the ceasefire! palestinians directed to safezone! israel is bombing the safezone! theres a ceasefire! israel is breaking the ceasefire! donate to verified gofundmes! dont donate to gofundmes, donate to organizations who can use the money where it's needed most! remember your clicks! don't donate to orgs, theyre inefficient and individuals know how to use the funds better for themselves! here's a list of verified gofundmes! remember your clicks! israel accused of war crimes! remember your clicks! if we all work together we can stop this! eyes on the protests! eyes off the protests, theyre drawing attention away! eyes on the protests, the government is trying to shut it down! boycott eurovision, eyes on eurovision protests! eyes off eurovision, it's drawing attention away! never look away for even a second! remember your clicks! here's a graphic description of the torture theyre going through! pay attention, paying attention is how we stop this! remember your clicks! buy esims! think about the children dying horrifically right this second in real time! eyes on the next safezone, surely this time itll work and israel wont turn around and bomb it! remember your clicks!

compassion fatigue? how fucking selfish can you be? are you actually going to make this about you and how upset it makes you feel to think about? you should be thanking god it isnt happening to you. you know every country in the world hates yours and its only a matter of time before someone finds an excuse to start bombing you back, better pipe down! listen to the planes flying overhead and imagine they were raining death down on you, maybe thatll give you some perspective. remember your clicks!

[requiemsystem]

ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

[comet-forgot-you]

heyy idk if you're taking requests, but could you write River x reader where she's more dominant?? and maybe reader is more feminine?? I'm obsessed with River...

ofc bae, kinda hard to write for fem reader bc im more masc, so if this is bad im so sorry :[

remember

dealer!river x fem!reader

summary: river loves leaving you hanging, but she just thinks you’re so hot :(

warnings: 18+ pls, smut, strap use, top!river, orgasm denial, marijuana use, fingering, oral, teasing, river takes a picture, rivers a lil mean. like a lot a little. lots of cursing idk, lmk if theres more! do not repost this work as your own.

a/n: this took me so long to write lol, im sorry anon 😭. i kinda dont like this, i tried im sorry. anyway i kept accidentally writing amber instead of river and i literally don’t know why. enjoy :D

the air of river’s room was humid, the sounds of you panting being the only thing heard over the blaring music of the ongoing party outside of the room was the sounds of your pants and river’s endless remarks.

“gonna cum? already? we haven’t even been here that long,” her strap is bottomed out in you as she whispers the words mockingly in your ear. you whine against her jaw, hips struggling to keep up with the quick pace river had set.

"m' sorry," your words are slurred, thoughts jumbled together, the only thing the actually makes sense in the moment is river.

river chuckles, pulling back to get a better look at you. "what? my cock making you feels so good you can't even speak properly?" she asks mockingly, rolling your nipples between her fingers.

“riv.. please lemme,” your sentence is cut off by a shaky exhale. “lemme cum. please, riv.” a knock comes from the door and you hold back the cry that threatens to escape as river halts her movements and pushes herself off of you.

“what?” she yells, head snapping to the door. she glances down at you, your eyes brimming with tears, hips trying to grind down on the strap still nestled inside of you.

“you have a client,” a voice yells from the other side. river holds your hips down, your head shaking “no”

you knew how this would play out. river would be a huge fucking tease all night, hands crawling up the skirt she picked out, whispering dirty words in your ears, kisses on all the spots she knew drove you insane. you knew that if you didnt cum now, you wouldn’t until everyone left.

“please, river, don’t- fuck,” river’s thrust into you, your own moan cuts your words off.

“i’ll be right there,” she yells back. your eyes widen and river’s lips curl up into a mocking smile. “be a good girl, yeah? get dressed and join the party,” she mumbles. she pulls out of you and you whimper out at the emptiness.

“riv,” you whine her name, hoping to draw her back in. her eyes never leave yours, that stupid smile doesnt leave as she tucks the strap back into her pants.

she leans down, pressing kisses from your thighs to your jaw. “cmon, baby, dont wanna make the customer wait forever now, do we?” she pulls back slightly, her face so close to yours, you want nothing more than to kiss her. she grabs something off of her bed, and once she starts strapping it to your thigh, you know what shes about to ask you. “hold this for me, hmm?” its not really a question, though. you know she’ll tuck the lighter into the thigh garter whether or not you say yes or no.

shes off of you in seconds, heading to the door and looking back at you with that stupid smile. you groan. god was it going to be a long night.

—

river’s endless teasing and “innocent” words had you dripping. the cotton covering your cunt was stuck to your folds. you hated how much of a tease she was. every single movement she made had your head spinning with want.

even now as you sat on the couch, room filled with guards that were there solely to make sure things didnt go south, your legs draped across river’s thighs, she was still teasing you. hands trailing against the soft fat of your thighs, that pit in your stomach had yet to cool down, there was no way you could wait until the end of the night for her to fuck you.

river reaches into her pocket, taking out a small cigarette case she put joints in instead. she looks at you for what feels like the first time since you left her room. “you got a light, baby?” its a dumb question, really. she knew you had one, after all, she was the one who had tucked it into the thigh garter. you nod and river wastes no time sneaking her hand under your skirt to fish the lighter out.

she acts as if there werent eyes on her at all times. she brushes against your clothed cunt and it takes everything in you not to whimper at the feeling. she quickly grabs the lighter before removing her hand and lighting the joint hanging loosely from her lips.

you cant focus on the words she says to the client, only on the movements she makes. the way her jaw flexes as she clenches when the man makes a stupid remark, the way she stares him down like hes nothing, like he cant do anything. everything about her radiates so much power and confidence.

as soon as the guy leaves, you press yourself up against river, hand on her thigh as you lean in to whisper in her ear. “need you s’ bad, mamas. need you t’ fill me up again. please? i’ll be so good i promise.” your words are filthy, but every word was the truth. you knew exactly what buttons to push to make river fold. you knew that if you kissed her jaw, or left marks across her neck, she’d do anything you asked of her. so you did exactly that. holding her jaw with your free hand, you leave a cluster of red marks that would soon bloom to a shade of purple. river grips your thigh, a rush of hear spreading throughout both of your bodies.

“god, y’know just how to rile me up, dont you. so fuckin’ needy.” you smile against her neck.

“cant help it, mamas,” you mumble. the name makes her close her mouth to prevent the groan that threatens to escape. but you feel the vibrations against your lips. she stands, guiding you out of the room, leading you through the crowded hallways to her room.

your back is against the door in an instant, her lips against yours as she tries to undo the belt around her waist with one hand, her other eagerly groping at your tit. you whine at her neediness, it matches your own and your hands fly to the belt to try and help her. your kisses are so messy and hungry, its hard to think about much of anything else. you manage to unbuckle the belt and slide her pants off. she makes quick work of undressing you, guiding the two of you to her bed. her strap pressed against your clothed cunt and your moaning against her lips.

“fuck, river please just,” you groan, arching up into her as her lips attach to your nipple, “jus’ fuck me, mamas please. need you t’ fill me up,” you a whining mess. amber pulls your soaked panties down your legs before parting your legs to look at the mess between your thighs.

“fuck, you’re so fucking wet, y/n. were you that fucking needy for me?” you whine, trying to close your legs, but her hands keep them spread. “nuh-uh, you don’t get to hide it now. not when you begged me to fuck you in front of my guys,” she sounds so mean, you swallow thickly, worried you had genuinely upset her. but the way she wraps her lips around your throbbing clit, you know its not genuine. your moans echo off of the walls, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your sounds, hyperaware of the crowd of people just outside of the doors.

two of her fingers sink into your cunt, her other hand pulling your hand away from your mouth. “don’t do that, let them all hear how good im fucking you. let em know you’re mine.” she laces her fingers with yours, her lips returning to wrap around your clit. her fingers curl up into your cunt and your fingers lace into her hair.

“fuck, river!” your hips are bucking up into her her warm mouth. “gon’ cum, you feel so good.” she squeezes your hand, and your gushing around her fingers. she’s quick to lap up your juices before standing to tower over you. she presses her fingers against your lips and you take them in your mouth to suck your juices off of them. shes rolling your nipples between her fingers, her strap prodding at your entrance. you buck against it, your cunt sensitive after the orgasm river had just given you.

“need you to fill me up river,” her voice is mocking your previous words. “need you so bad, god im just such a fucking slut i just cant wait for you to fill me up,” her words cause tears to prickle in your eyes. did you really sound like that? were you really that needy? her strap pushes into you, her lips wrapping around the plush of your tits to leave marks that she’d be taking so many pictures of later. the familiar stretch of your cunt has any thoughts of insecurity rushing out of your mind in an instant.

“riv,” you whine out at her slow pace.

“riv,” she mocks in a high pitched voice. “what is it baby? not enough for your needy cunt? need me to be pounding into just to be satisfied?” your eyes roll back as she bottoms out. a tear slides down your face. you cant tell if its from the pleasure or from her words. river had never been this.. mean before. you didnt mind, the pit in your stomach growing with every word.

river’s movements speed up. her strap fills you up so good, hitting spots inside of you that have you seeing stars. her mouth feels so good against your body, her hands keeping your thighs parted. “so fucking pretty,” she groans against your jaw, her breathing heavy against your skin.

“feels s’ good mamas, fuck,” your thighs shake against her hands, the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every single move river makes.

“yeah? gonna cum again? so fuckin,” she shudders when your fingers brush against her nipples, “fuck, so fucking needy. this cunt is practically sucking me in, shit,” she exhales sharply against your skin. you can tell she’s close to hitting her own high with the way her thrusts get sloppier and her breathing gets shakier

“fuck, river,” your moans are loud.

“c’mon, cum for me, go on,” your high hits just as river’s does. her strap stuffed so deep inside of you, “did s’ good,” she mumbles against your ear. “so fuckin good, shit,” shes rolling her hips against yours, trying to make both of your highs last a little longer. she lifts herself off of you, admiring the sight beneath her. “fuck,” she groans lowly.

she reaches for her phone off of the night stand, snapping a picture of you in your fucked out state. “so fuckin’ hot, baby.”

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[ender-cloud]

Holy shit Hyde

Tgs spoilers ahead (kinda late but I had a lot of thoughts)

Hyde is going through the 5 stages of grief right now, he’s already going through the first two so thats how I will break it up

But before I get to that bro is throwing a fit like a toddler and I love him for it!

Denial

Hyde’s denial is like, genuinely kinda sad, I want to hear it in a show because I can just imagine his voice shaky trying to keep it even but struggling because this is the first time he’s officially alone.

He’s in charge now, there is no Jekyll in his head anymore, something he seemed to want but never really knew how to control.

The internal thoughts of Hyde are so real in this moment, man is on the verge of of a panic attack because Jekyll has left him, he always has wanted to be separate from Jekyll and now that he is he dosent want to be, he still needs him desperately.

Hyde yelling at his thoughts to shut up is so impactful, (and relatable) he dosent like his anxiety and doesn’t want it to overtake him but it’s hard not to.

In a way it’s like he wants to yell at Jekyll for getting in his head but he knows it’s not Jekyll anymore, he knows that these are his own thoughts, he knows this is him. Theres no denying it anymore, it’s his anxiety, his thoughts, it’s not Jekyll’s thoughts, it’s not Jekyll.

Hyde yelling at himself leads to the next topic

Anger

The way Hyde lashed out was confusing to me at first but it makes sense

Jekyll is an organized, put together, and clean person(or at least thats how he likes to present himself) and Hyde knows this, so he thinks if he can ruin Jekylls work, make a mess of things, Jekyll will try and stop him, Jekyll will get mad, Jekyll will come back

It is also Hyde expressing his own emotions about the situation, about how angry he is at Jekyll for leaving him, how angry he is about being abandoned, how angry he is at himself for letting all of this happen.

He was the one who revealed Jekyll and he knows that, that’s what his thoughts are telling him, even if not said in the pages blatantly, thats what he’s telling himself, thats what we can see and infer.

In this panel we can see that Hyde is also doing it in a hope to get the upper hand, hope that he can have power over Jekyll again, he is not used to Jekyll being the one that scares him.

“I’ll destroy everything you love” He’s trying to be intimidating again, trying to get to Jekyll, threaten him, anything to get the upper hand, anything to scare Jekyll back

He’s been losing his control over situations with Jekyll for a while but right when he felt like he had gotten that control back it was taken away from him once again, he can’t even have control over his thoughts

He’s acting like a child acting out to get attention because he dosen’t know how else to act in this moment, he’s lost, angry, and alone, it shows how with no sense of control some people just act on impulse, anything to try and get that sense back

Anyway, i know this is a little long but this update was great and I had a lot to say

[yorutsuki]

「 ✦ Isekaied Reversed Pt. 3 ✦ 」

↳ Deciding it's better early than later, you inform Xiao about the reality of Teyvat and sooner or later doubts start clouding your head.

[Tags: @itztaki @hannya-writes @7sins7dreams @iota1111 @sakuramouchi]

──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────

The two of you sat in the living room, you sat on the couch as he sat on the preferred ground.

"Alright, promise you won't react too badly when I tell you this?" You questioned for confirmation. The adeptus only shrugged. "I cannot promise of what I don't know."

You stared blankly at the short man at his riddle but nodded nonetheless, "understandable."

Clearing your throat you proceeded the explaining, praying that whatever God (at this point), gave mercy on you with whats to come.

"Alright, well, to put it simply—Teyvat—in this universe, is a game that everybody knows about." You stated as it was now Xiao's turn to stare blankly in confusion. Sighing, you pondered of a way to rephrase it.

"What I mean to say is, everybody from your world is but fiction here. They exist—your whole universe exists widely here but its not physical. It exist as..." As what? Joy for us? a digital concept thats basically a roleplaying game in which we can control you and your friends and your whole universe is a lie and turns out to be just code and is owned by a company? Wait- that could work-

"-a virtual game, all code and scripts that this universe's people can control almost. Nothing about it is real yet everything is known"

...

Silence fell between the both of you. You waited anxiously for an answer, intently staring down the man as he looked like he was experienced an emotional and mental crises.

"So what your telling me..Teyvat—Celestia, everything i've known is just..A lie?" He uttered in disbelief, his whole existance and knowledge crashing down as he shook his head in denial.

"And how do I know this isn't just some excuse? Some lie that you've created?" He glared at you.

You mentally and physically prepared yourself for this thankfully, "promise that you'll allow me to explain everything first before making a final desicion?" You asked as he hesitated but nonetheless nodded.

Pulling out your phone, you turned it on before entering Genshin Impact. You went over towards the yaksha before sitting down near him. Far enough to respect his space yet close enough for him to see.

"See, that's what some of us think are Celestia's gates." You pointed towards the blinding pearly gates, that welcomed you with bright lights. Entering the vast world, Xiao immediately recognized the layout. "That's Liyue..And thats.-" Cutting him off, you nodded in confirmation, "yea, thats Zhongli in a digital world."

Xiao was beyond stunned, he was overwhelmed with questions and emotions-yet little answers and resolves. How could this be? Zhongli's so...small? And it seems you can control him at will.

"-And before you jump to assumptions, no, i'm not physically harming him, nor am I doing any sort of demon arts to control him or anything else. As you said earlier, theres different universes. Theres a common thing called a video game in my world, which is this thingy right here—and Teyvat is just one many games thats been created."

Xiao looked bewildered, distraught and crushed. You felt quite horrible for the man. Maybe you should've explained everything in a easier manner?

"Uhm..I-"

"Don't."

You quickly shutted up as you watched the adeptus stand from the floor. "I just...I need time to process this all."

You nodded in understandment, watching the man making his way outside to the balcony before disappearing—only small specs of teal and shadow-like fog trailed behind.

Ceasing this moment, you banged your hand against the table, letting out a tired groan. Emotions and social conflict—especially from or for others, were quite tiresome, thus why you hated social interaction.

You just hope this conflict can be put to ease in due time.

....

Almost two hours passed and still no sign of the yaksha. You knew quite well not to worry as almost nothing in your world could harm the thousand year old-skilled fighter—not even the FBI or swat team. But...you couldn't help but have a nagging feeling of dread.

Scenerios started to slowly eat away at you, your anxiety increasing with each passing thought. What if he really did leave? What if he had got caught by someone? What if he....what if he decided to find someone who could actually help him..?

The last thought killed your heart. Honestly, you were never the main character type-far from it actually. You were more of a background character that played no significant role in life. Though, this experience would change that—it would give your life better meaning..yet, if that one main factor is gone...then its just back to square one.

Shaking your head, you shoved the negative and selfish thoughts aside,

This isn't about you, this is about Xiao. He's experiencing a life and probably also identity crises at the moment.

But for now, all you can do is give him his requested time.

...

An hour passed, there was still an absent sign of the yaksha.

Your worry grew ever so slightly. You knew nothing from your universe could take him down—not even the fbi, but you still couldn't shake the feeling that something could've happened.

As you walked around the apartment, no yaksha was in sight, the only option left was the roof.

...

Making your way up the concerningly long ass staircase, you opened the rusted metal door, only to be met with the same jade spear from not to long ago.

"Is this going to be a natural-daily occurrence or..?" You chuckled, not daring to move in fear of being punctured.

Xiao huffed in annoyance, retracting his spear before it disappeared into his inventory-gold specs replacing it's spot before disappearing. "For someone who knows a lot about us, your will on living seems slim—shouldn't you know sneaking on an adeptus without warning can lead to injuries?" He lectured, crossing his arms with a grunted look.

You rubbed your neck embarrassed, a small nervous chuckle escaped your vocal cords in replacement of words. "Sorry."

The adeptus shook his head, dismissing the mishap before walking towards the edge of the roof top, settling down at the edge, you followed in suit.

The moment of silence was defeaning between the two of you—only the whirring and explosive engines of cars and chirping birds ever so now and then filling the gap.

"So...do you want to talk about anything?" You asked, breaking the small tension. Xiao looked at you before furrowing his brows in thought. Of coarse he had much to ask, he had a bunch of questions and concerns that were gearing through his head, honestly he was surprised he hadn't received a headache yet. Yet his stoic demeanor and built exterior wouldn't allow him to spill—to show vulnerability. Though his persona did allow one question..

"Why..."

You stared at him dumbfounded, "Context?"

"Why...why did you decide to tell me about...all of this?—Why were we made? I...Was everything just..a lie?..." Xiao furrowed his brows as he looked down, his head swirling with unanswered thoughts that ate away at him. It was grueling.

You looked at him apathetically, how could you answer it? You didn't know. "Well, isn't it best to know sooner than be crushed later? In a different perspective, knowing 'the truth'...don't you think it would be easier to let the emotions settle in early than having to deal with them later?" You questioned. The adeptus only looked down in thought before sighing in agreement. "Adding on, I don't think your whole world is a lie. As we're experiencing now, there's a whole bunch of universes. You just so happen to stumble upon one where..hm, lets say indulged in on your world? You—the others, the whole of Teyvat most likely exists in general, just not here—if that helps." You assured the man. You couldn't exactly put it into words as you weren't much of a comforter but fanfics help with that. you try.

Xiao couldn't muster any words, his brain still processing everything. Looking below him at the streets, the moving cars, the occasional barks of dogs, the scenery. With a sigh, he let his mind at ease into a new perspective.

"It...it will take a while for me to digest all of this. But while i'm here, I should know more about this world than anything else." He spoke, his demeanor still stoic.

You let out a small nod, smiling, "of coarse."

.................

[A/N: That took quite a bit, sorry for the long wait, mixed up the plot for the majority and had to restart. I really hope that this went at a good pace and nothing was too fast or slow. TxT, anyways, thank you for reading!]

-------------

{ Part 3 }

{ Part 2 }

{ Part 1 }

............

[ Masterlist ]

[pumpkinsy0]

I know we see alot of post book Ponyboy HC’s and how he acts after and how he takes Dallas and Johnny’s death. HOWEVER do you think you could give us some Two-Bit after they’re deaths?

(I like to think he was the second closest to the both of them after pony.)

two bit,,,the fella that u r,,,,

•now w johnny, i think two bit was so hopeful about johnny, he wanted to believe that johnny would get better and he just tricked himself into believing that genuinely, bc the world is cruel to johnny, but surely not THAT cruel

•when pony announced johnny died, nobody noticed, but that was the first time two bit just truly didnt say anything at all, not a singular peep

•two couldnt even bring himself to walk by johnnys house bc he refuses to see the people who made johnnys life a living hell, in a weird way, he would always hope that johnny would one day come out the house running so he could save him like he always did before

•once tho, he did get drunk and was throwing rocks at johnnys house cause he was so angry, steve found him and had to drag him away

•two bit constantly thinks about how he was so ready to go all the way to texas for em and even now, he wants to know where johnny is now so he can follow

•the nurse gave two bit johnnys SOME part of johnnys clothing that wasnt too damaged, and two bit carries it in his pocket

•and then when it comes to dallas, its like two bit KNEW, dally was gonna die young, but that doesnt make how or when it happened any easier for him, he thought he’d have a few years left w the guy

•just like w johnny, two bit had hope that maybe the world wasnt THAT cruel and he lived in a bit of denial that the world would show dally at least a BIT of mercy in his life time

•he did hang out w dally quite a bit, going to bars, very rarely going to class together and joking around in the back of class, he feels like theres this part of him missing and it hurts him to see that empty seat next to him knowing dally used to sit there

•considering the rep dally had, it wouldnt surprise me if two had heard whispers of ppl being like “finally he got what he deserved” or “it was about time it happened”, and no matter how truthful they were to an extent, it always set two off, and he’d come off as erratic bc his mood would change DRAMATICALLY and depending in if there was someone w him or not, he’d want to fight them

•two feels bad for sylvia, he knows that her and dally werent the best of couples, but he knows they were still close to some degree, ppl assume sylvia didnt care, but he’s seen her cry over it and he knows just like tim, sylvia took things from dallys temporary bedroom at bucks bar

•speaking of bucks bar, after dallys death, he knows tim and sylvia took the small bit of things dally had, so unfortunately, he couldnt take something and go “an eye for an eye” w dally after dally got his switchblade and he never got it back, but sometimes he does sleep in that room, and as time goes on, the scent of dally is fading away and that upsets two

•two bit still has that newspaper clipping of when they saved the kids from that fire and just stares at it

•for a small amount of time, two bit would stay at him and and when it comes to his own family, especially his younger sister, two bit tries to hold onto them and not forget their faces or smells

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

not metatron just casually handin out 30000 coins

b- bro. i. uh. ahshagsga. yes sir 🫡. anything fo u dokja kim.

hahahah

:((

DUMBASS. god i fucking hate him

AS SHE SHOULD THIS DUMBASS SUBJUGATED A KID TO THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF ISOLATION ALSO KNOWN AS THE WORST FORM OF MENTAL TORMENT AND FOR WHAT? SO HE COULD GET A LITTLE LUCKIER EARLIER ON? THAT MAN IS AN ASSHOLE AND THE WORST AND I HOPE HE DIES MULTIPLE GRUESOME DEATHS

NO NO DOKJA DONT JUST LET HIM DIE JUST LET HER KILL HIM

AFYZYSFAUSTJXKTCTISRUAQUFUG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH SHEEEET

ok the thing about this is up to this point theyve basically only referred to eachother using their full names, first+last but here joonghyuk only calls him dokja and it gives the vibes theyre close enough to refer to eachother like that so...he cares no denying you cant hide from my perceptiveness i can see everything

BROOOO HES TRYING TO HOLD HIM UP NOT LET HIM FALL OVER CUZ HES GONNA DIE AND DOKJAS JUST GRABBING ONTO HIS ARM AND ITS NOT INTENTIONAL ITS INSTINCT AND AHSHAHSGS SO MANY WORDS THEY DENY IT BUT THEY CARE AND DOKJA WAS PROBABLY DIGGING HIS NAILS INTO HIS ARM CUZ HE KINDA IS MISSING HIS ENTIRE LOWER TORSO AND EVEN WITH FOURTH WALL THATS GOTTA BE SO PAINFUL AND YJH JUST IS FINE WOTH IT AND DOESNT CARE AND HES WORRIED ABOUT HIM AND SNAJSJWJSJDBSI

bro he has a giant hole where his stomach should be

also i thought you hated and wanted to kill him

THIS JUST SHOWS HE CARED THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE HE KEPT TRYING TO KILL HIM BUT THE SECOND DOKJAS ACTUALLY GONNA DIE HES ALL LIKE NO NO NO NOT TOO LATE EVEN THOUGH DOKJA LEGIT DOESNT HAVE A LOWER TORSO AND THERES NO LOGICAL WAY FOR HIM TO SURVIVE BUT HES STILL IN DENIAL HED ONLY BE DENYING IF HE CARED AHAHAHAHHAHAHSBWHABSH

dude he looks so scared for him im gonna cry 😭😭😭😭. like hes looking him in the face with the most terror ive seen for him i cant wtfffff

no shit

never seen him so angry he even has the glowy main character eyes ✋

bro there aint no way he wasnt in love w dokja cuz he was perfectly fine with letting seolhwa die even tho he like dated her last regression and here he is only having spoken to kdj a few times and ready to fucking kill everything for him

YEA YEA UHUH HED PISSED CUZ YOU KILLED THE GUY HE WANTED TO BE HIS BF YEA YEA JOONGDOK CANNON THESE BITCHES GAY THEYRE ANNOYING AS ALL HELL AND THEYRE GAY

[baby--b4t]

hihi!! fishie anon again with yet another minifc idea :3

m!reader who still hasn’t come to terms with the fact he regresses, so he tries to push the feelins away until it backfires, leaving baizhu, his s/o to babysit a rlly upset and pouty bb

-🐠

oh. my. goodness. FISHIE YOURE KILLING ME WITH THESE CUTE ASKS /pos. baizhu taking care of his baby boy that is in denial of being his baby boy?????? BAIZHU WHO CONSTANTLY REMINDS SAID BABY BOY THAT HE IS, IN FACT, HIS BABY BOY-

i love this. have a minificヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ

Things felt so hard and for no reason. It was like you were a toddler incapable of doing the most basic task, and you hated it. You told yourself that you wouldnt regress, that you wouldnt succumb to that, but your mind has other plans.

Baizhu had been organizing some recent deliveries when he stopped and listened, noticing it was oddly quiet. He usually never minded the quiet but today you had come with him to the pharmacy. It shouldnt have been silent like this.

“Darling?” Baizhu called out as he began wandering around the pharmacy, looking for you. Thats when he found you sitting behind a counter, your cheeks wet from crying and a book not too far from you. You had been trying to read and relax but the words on the page suddenly werent making sense. You got irritated and threw the book down in front of you.

Baizhu saw how upset you looked and it broke his heart. He gently crouched down in front of you and tilted your face to meet his.

“Whats the matter, dear? Why have you been crying alone?” Baizhu asked, wiping some of the wetness from your face. You felt your lip tremble as you told him everything. The regression, the book, and how you hated it all. He was patient and let you get all of your words out before responding.

“I see.. Why would you want to push away your regression, dear? You know its there because your brain needs to relax.” At this point Baizhu had coaxed you into his arms, the two of you sitting on the ground with each other. “If youre actively pushing away something your brain is giving to you as a sign of exhaustion, then it should be expected that youre going to get overwhelmed.”

You tried to hide your face in your hands, feeling like a shy toddler in your partners arms. Baizhu noticed this and chuckled softly.

“Is someone feeling a little shy?” He teased, lifting your chin so he could see your face. “Dont hide from me, sweetheart. Youre safe here.” A small kiss was placed on the side of your head, Baizhu letting you go back to hiding away in his arms. Eventually he had to get you to stand up and move somewhere more comfortable, but he was more focused on getting you to calm down.

“Sweet boy.. You know this is perfectly fine, right? Theres no shame in letting yourself heal.” Baizhu softened his voice, hoping it would help ease your mind a bit. All he got as a response from you was some angry whining. He let out a sigh that turned into a small laugh. “Youre such a stubborn little thing, you know that?” He teased.

The two of you finally got up and moved over to a more comfortable spot. He set you on one of the beds he usually used for his patients, but business had been a bit slow today. He just wanted you to feel like you could relax and what better place to do that than in a bed? Baizhu quickly learned the answer to that. The best place to relax was in your lovers arms.

You laid on his chest, head buried in the crook of his neck as he idly stroked your hair. Baizhu had set Changsheng down for a while and let her take a break from being with him all day, allowing you to take up the space she normally did. He smiled as he watched you calm down from your upset mood earlier. It melted his heart a bit to see you so sleepy cuddled up with him like this.

“Youre just my baby boy right now, arent you?” Baizhu mumbled softly, moving a few stray hairs out of your face. You whined and tried to hide your face from him, wanting to deny what he said forever. “Come now, you cant possibly cuddle with me like this and not be my baby boy! You look too sweet to deny that fact.” He added on with a slight giggle. He felt you huff against him, pouting as you didnt want to seem so small to him.

“Perhaps my baby boy should take a nap, hm? Crying and feeling all frustrated can make someone like you quite tired.” Baizhu gently pulled a blanket over the two of you. It wasnt an amazing blanket, but it was something nonetheless. He wrapped it around you slightly and held you closely. It was almost like he was trying to swaddle you without actually moving you too much. He just wanted to place you in the blanket like a cocoon, making you feel secure and safe.

“Rest now, my dear. Theres nothing that you need to worry about except relaxing.” Baizhu murmured, placing one last kiss on the crown of your head. His hand rubbed small circles in your back in an effort to coax you into sleeping. Even though you tried to hide it from him, he could see all of your exhaustion now. He was going to make sure his baby boy got the rest he needed.

[pressedink]

hi it's me back again (shadys back tell your friends (idek ignore me)) so i just read the new chapter and i think i might die. literally SOBBING

i knew they were probably gonna kiss but i was reallyyy hoping they wouldn't. i actually screamed and had to put my phone down when they did i don't think ill ever recover from this

ik i've said it before but i absolutely LOVE this fic so here r some things from that chapter that made me scream :)

"Barty is obsessed with it. He needs to book a tattoo appointment immediately." literally screaming barty would def be the type to get things like that, he'd have so many tattoos dedicated to evan that evan wouldnt evan know of all of them😭

"Because friends is what Evan wants" no it's not u oblivious idiot

"...that loving Evan Rosier is something he can control. But it isn’t. It never has been." i'm fucking screaming i love them sm😭

"Oh god, Barty's struck with a sudden deeply upsetting thought: he’s acting like James Potter. Barty physcically recoils" STOP THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD😭

"Evan was the first person who made him feel like he was truly loved. How could he stop himself from falling in love with him?" stop i'm gonna cry😭

"Evan just kissed him. They kissed. They have less than 4 hours left, and then they can never see each other again." oh wow isnt that fun. i'm going to kms/hj

PLEASE TELL ME THERES A HAPPY ENDING I DONT THINK ILL SURVIVE IF THERE ISNT😭

there's like. so many other scenes i loved loved loved (and made me scream ofc) but i'd probably end of pasting almost the entire thing if i added literally everything😭

hello Eminem! thank you for gracing my tumblr inbox. had no idea you were a Marauders stan tbh but welcome!!

lmao HI WELCOME BACK TY FOR ANOTHER ASK THAT'S MAKING ME BLUSH AND SMILE AND GAH

it's the way i almost didn't have them kiss too. i was fully prepared to just let them hash it out without the tiny little added complication of you know, never being able to see each other again, but where's the fun in that?

you're so right about Barty and his tattoos, like every single one is about Evan whether he knows it or not and Barty will just make shit up to make them connect like 'oh this frog riding a motorcycle? Evan's eyes sometimes have a little bit of frog green in them' or 'yeah my Fruit Loops Toucan Sam tattoo? Evan's fruity and hates cereal'

Evan isn't really giving Barty a ton of clues to be so real, like yes he's being oblivious and literally has now stated he understands Evan doesn't ask for what he wants ever so why would he lie and pretend he wants Barty now? but that's the key point: Barty thinks Evan wants him, not loves him. he's in denial because yes Evan loves him as a friend but how could he ever love him more than that?

James Potter as both Barty and Evan's standard of 'yeah, i've done something wrong here' is SO real and i love that they both just silently use him in their heads without voicing it out loud to each other

i can't confirm or deny a happy ending (bc again i ask, whereee is the fun in that?) but i can say [redacted] >:)

you're a star, light of my life, my favorite tumblr human. thank you so much for taking the time to not only read but hop over to tumblr and rap in my inbox :,) i'm honored, and hope you have the best day!! take care my friend <3

[kasumingo]

People who are like, get medicated, get therapy, get help, as if its the easiest most effective thing ever boggle the mind. Like i know they cannot know unless theyve been in the system for any length of time but theres so much to unpack here. Theres LAYERS

Theres the fact that everyone should be aware of by now, that its often expensive and inaccessible to many as well, but thats entry level shit. It goes deeper.

The fields of psychology and ESPECIALY psychiatry are steeped in stigma and dogma and straight up bad info. Everything is depression until proven otherwise. Gender stigma is very very real with autism and ad(h)d and so is actual genuine oppression that can come with those diagnoses and anything "more serious". God help you if youre diagnosed with or suspect cluster A or B personality disorders or ANY psychotic ones. I dont have firsthand experience but ive heard enough to know that often those with ASPD and schizoaffective/schizophrenic get treated as subhuman. Not to mention how severe antipsychotics are as medication, theres good reasons people often dont take theirs.

But even if youve got one of the "easy" disorders, guess what? "Success" is still not guaranteed. Figuring out medication and dosage can be a long and exhausting process, a lot of them have significant drawbacks and restrictions.

And cognitive behavioral therapy can also have negative effects! Especially if ur misdiagnosed! Or do it while youre still in survival mode! Or have alexythimia like myself! Its not an one size fits all cure.

People are so ready to condescend to the mentally ill and say stuff like "get therapy" as if its the holy grail of mental care without a trace of irony. People lapse treatment and lick their own wounds the best they can for so many reasons, A LOT OF THEM RELATING TO HOW SHIT AND INEFFECTIVE THERAPY CAN BE, and instead of that being the focus the talk about it is so often boiled down to them being lazy or incapable of taking care of themselves.

I know this couldve been its own post but honestly with you posting abt it i feel better giving this here directly. It got kind of ranty but just, people who use "get therapy" as the ultimate gotcha BOIL MY BLOOD.

People think that therapist, psychologists, psychiatrist and similar are these unquestioned authorities that always have your best interest in mind and have the answer for anything.

While the truth is that the psych field is filled with incompetent bigots either entering the field for the power trip or having an incredible biased and misguided point of view at best.

I don't personally have the experience with BPD or ASPD myself either, but it's not hard to imagine how they treat individuals they don't even consider people… that the majority of society don't consider ones either and doesn't care what happens to them.

AND YES GOD IT'S INFURIATING.

Especially since in many cases it doesn't come from genuine care, but as a dismissal and denial that many people ARE broken, weird, strange, peculiar, different but they do NOT need fixing, CAN'T be fixed and certainly don't owe strangers recovery.

Modern attitudes I'm seeing in online spaces are only setting mental health of the societies back years if not decades and leads to mental health of all involved unnecessarily dipping even further, only adding to what's happening in the world as a whole lately.

It's frustrating and I only can hope that my yelling in the void brings someone peace or makes rethinking the attitudes they've been carrying up until this point.

[toastytrusty]

on todays episode of Things I Realized While Eating Dinner:

epsilon was always much more effective at. well Functioning in general than alpha was. he was better at taking charge, contributing in combat situations, getting people to listen to him, and just being Generally Useful than alpha ever was. alpha, however, couldn't use his gun properly, no one listened to him, and for the most part he hadnt the slightest clue what he was doing.

its because epsilon learned to be a computer program, while alpha only ever wanted to be a person.

epsilon always functioned by augmenting the success of his teammates and boosting their functionality, unconcerned with his own. running their suits, holding their files, doing computer program stuff. he learned how to effectively be an ai and exist for those around him, no pursuit of his own self plauging him. theres more to that, with his whole character being built around him being an extension of someone else and him learning to live with that, struggling to find a self when everyone around him wanted him to be someone he wasnt. i think his time spent traveling with carolina was a real healing period, and he came back to the reds and blues much more sure of himself and ready to exist for their sake. in the end, it all came full circle as he gave every last chance of ever being a person with them for the hope of their success; sacrificing his corporeal existence to literally become energy for them to run on.

alpha, however, obviously never knew he was an ai until it was far too late, and even then died in spite of it. he wanted so badly to be everything that he wasn't: a person, a human, to mean something to someone. he appointed himself team leader in an attempt to feel important and needed, and he sucked so bad at it because he was grabbing at possibilities so far detatched from himself it was hopeless. he sucks with his gun because hes not meant to shoot it. he can't make decisions because he's meant to be a follower. he wanted so desperately to be something he wasnt. he was quicker to assume he was a ghost than that he was anything less than human. when wash told him he was an ai, he did Not believe it and wanted Nothing to do with it. he did inevitably go with wash, but it seemed as if he was trying to prove wash wrong, so deep in denial that he had convinced himself he could survive the emp, and had to prove it not only to wash, but to himself.

[valpogossip]

VALPOGOSSIP TEACAP: APRIL 2024

You lot sure have be busy the last month. If I was of lesser mind or simply someone with something better to do, I would have resigned myself to my silence and let you all carry on. But business pays. And unfortunately for you, it's yours that pays me, and you're all not going to believe this.

It's always the ones in the most denial that scream the loudest and Abril is a banshee. While at La Fiesta De Vindimia, Abril confronted our favorite blonde bombshell, Mallory Jade, about song she assumed was about her. Now theres something about a fight over a song like Pretty Girls ending in a kiss that just doesn't feel all that... straight to me. But Abril was quick to prove all of us wrong by locking in with Giovanni !

Speaking of Giovanni, the timing of this is quite suspicious considering he had a bit of his own meet-not-so-cute with a Yazmin. The two getting off on the wrong food but helping each other find the right one another and getting all cozy enough to take a nap outside. I don't about you all, but I don't think i've ever been that comfortable. Wonder with Yazmin thinks of this. Or Abril for that matter.

We could also ask Aivryn for her opinion on the matter considering how upset she was when Abril's new beau launched to the world to see. Apparently, even as her best friend, Aivryn found out at the same time everyone else did. I can't help but wonder why that is.

In more confusing but entertaining news, Omar and Dante are going on a date to decide which one gets to take which...one... on a... date ? I think I'm reading that correctly. Yes, bowling date. Loser takes other on date. No, yeah that's right. Well, whatever love looks like for you. Whenever there's a Dominguez-Herrera involved we're sure it'll be healthy and sane.

Maybe it's the bowling date nerves that led Dante to break Drew's nose? We hope that's healing up just fine.

Every month we hope Alba will stand up, and this month they came really close ! It was much of a hunch, but hey we'll take it. After a cold war, Milani raised the first white flag but all it took was one. You'll get there Al, we believe in you !

The festival seemed to be a hub for rekindling kisses, as Arlo and Esme were spotted liplocked on one of the benches. Sad thing about Leia bearing eye witness. Has anyone checked on her? What is it about good wine that makes you want to relive the past? Maybe they can go on a double date with Mallory and Abril and relive the past together.

Speaking of rekindling, but this time no kisses, exes Elijah and Sariyah, and Luna and Enzo were both spotted with frowns on their faces and eyes that were looking everywhere but each other. What conversation has you guys that deep in thought? Maybe you should take a drive, we here that helps.

If you're looking for a palette cleanser from all the mess, look no further than Jasper and Hunter. Gentle conversations and cutely planned dates. We wish them nothing but the best and maybe they could teach our many ( many ) confused couples a thing or two.

We hope that's enough to hold you over until next month. And if I missed anything, don't hesitate to send in a little tip to us via our anon box.

Here's some things we're keeping a close eye on for next month:

Ysla and Adem seem to be getting extremely close to little Emmie. Is it all just for her benefit? Astrid and Kaito already have the perfect starter for next month's tea cap, I wonder what else they'll get up to. What's the history there? How is Sariyah involved? Why does vic hate birthdays so much and why does esme suddenly care so much about his? Ximena and Bryce seem to also be spending a lot more time together. Aksel and Sarah's dinner table keeps getting bigger and bigger whole Luna's looks to be getting smaller, why is that? Will Drew ever get his double date? Is Luna like... okay?

If you didn't make this rounds teacap don't worry, we're still watching closely.

[stuffyflowers]

sorry if this is stupid but theres a lot of moments in paci route where i feel like ceroba just straight up doesnt believe that kana is still here. like yeah she plotted this entire thing but after starlo and mart confront her, during the battle, she believes kana is totally gone. i think she could tell that clover was bad but its up to her if she believes in the feeling also what was up with the pillars in her attack i have zero clue why she uses them

Oh I loveeeee what a walking contradiction ceroba is at the point right before her pacifist battle in particular with how she talks abt kanako. Saying “falling down is practically a death sentence” right before going through with your plan that will literally only work if she’s alive is. Certainly something! The part of her that is logical and realistic is fighting for its fucking life to get a single sentence out of her mouth and the second it does she just immediately blocks it out with her 1000 years denial attack so she can continue chasing false hopes it’s awesome.

As to why Ceroba is so inconsistent with whether she thinks kanako is alive or not (before entering steamworks saying she can feel her presence -> everything she says before/during/after pacifist battle lmao), it’s like. Cerobas already deep into denial to the point it clouds her better judgement bc of all the other shit she’s dealing with so mixing it with the uncertainty of being kept completely in the dark in regards to her daughters situation (esp after receiving a call that she was alive only for alphys to completely cut contact with everyone immediately after, which has uhhhh implications) leaves us with her strange outlook where kanako is simultaneously dead and alive to her. And bc of this her defeatism and her hopefulness are constantly fighting to take control of her actions and her words, which is what makes her so painfully inconsistent and hypocritical in both regards (and being fully aware of this fact!!! “I am a hypocrite. a liar. sure”). In the end that ambiguity is enough for her to justify what she’s doing even after straight up admitting to the possibility that this will all be for nothing and that there’s no hope for kanako bc as long as there’s that slim chance to make a difference she *has* to take it. She says it herself, it was worth the risk to her. Really highlights her devotion, or more accurately, her stubbornness lol.

Idk what ur talking abt w/ the clover thing. Are we still talking about kanako and ceroba? Or is this about the knowing clover killed star thing. I’m confused

Andddd pillar attack. Honestly I haven’t ever thought too hard abt it oop. I’m too lazy to find all the variations she uses so I can wax poetic about it but the image of her destroying a metaphorical and literal symbol of stability and support in a fit of rage is pretty clear I think

[pumpkinsy0]

how do u think the gang (and curly ig) reacted to pony (prolly) getting drugged out on aspirin

what do u think they did????

before i start, dont feel like explaining it fully but pony drugged out reminds me of jesse pinkman, burnt out and trying to ignore his issues but it rlly only makes him come face to face w it, ok???ok!!!!

darry & soda- they just feel like they failed pony, they feel like maybe pony was giving them signs but they didnt catch on, they just feel disappointed in themselves, like they were to blame to some degree and now ponys hurting bc of that

curly(ig🙄)- now im pretty sure its a common hc that the shepards mom has problems w substance abuse, and so to see it reflected in pony, curlys concern would come off as anger but thats only bc hes desperate, but bc pony would listen or stop, curly just distanced himself from pony bc it brought up his own personal problems yada yada yada, but he would still TRY to look out for pony from a distance

steve and dally- oh theyre pissed lmao, theyre mad that pony got in that situation and hes “throwing away” everything everyones done for him, its like hes just giving it up and not putting up a fight, just like curly they know ppl in their lives who suffers from substance abuse so it hurts close to home and it hurts to see the “golden child” of the gang fall to it cause hes supposed to be their hope, but they feel like if this can happen to pony, maybe they r just doomed

two bit and johnny- honestly, generally they feel the same way as darry and soda, so not MUCH to say w them here, however they does have that added feeling of denial, like a “it cant be pony, maybe theres something else happening”, and then w two bit w his OWN substance issues, he feels stupid for not seeing some signs sooner than everyone else, they both feel like ponys losing himself and theyre desperate to see pony be his old self and theyre stuck just trying to get pony into things he “used to like” to see even a bit of that old pony pop up

as for what theyd do??? theyd absolutely hide all the meds from this guy and keep someone in the house at all times, have someone always watching pony, and pony would def feel suffocated and exposed, like hes being put on blast, but theyre trying to do what they know or think is right

[pixlpxie]

hello pix!! i hope youre doing great. i have been going through a weird turmoil with myself this past week and i literally dont know anyone who i can tell this.

turns out that after some intense self-reflection i managed to come to the conclusion that im a lesbian. pretty much bc i couldnt imagine myself in anyway living in the same space with a man or dedicating my life with him, contrary to a woman. however here comes the problem, i feel like an imposter bc i still regularly have sexual fantasies abt male celebrities such as ateez. i have and keep reading smut stories on both ao3 and tumblr involving them and after finishing i end up feeling guilty bc i feel like im just in denial with the fact that deep down im attracted to men.

maybe i will get told "you dont have to prove urself to anyone, you know your own sexuality better than a third person" but i honest to god dont have idea of whats happening inside my brain. i dont know if anyone else is experiencing this or has before, but how does one cope with this? if theres even a way. i apologize for the long rant, im sure that this is a handful.

This is a super valid thing to feel and let me tell you, sexuality is complex. Its not an easy thing to find out, its not easy to live it. Unlike what most people believe, sexuality is extremely fluid and can fluctuate a lot. And i understand you so much, yes ppl will tell you you don't have to prove your sexuality or that you don't need labels but at the end of the day you do need labels to not feel lost. That's why there are hundreds of them, because everyone has different experiences with their sexuality but if you cant really 'name' them its just most probably going to make you confused and feel excluded. You dont need labels, that's true, but let me give you an idea how it might be going for you right now. Romantic and sexual attractions arent necessarily mutually inclusive all the time. This is something many people tend to miss. You can be sexually attracted to multiple genders while romantically being attracted to women. So maybe it can be like being bisexual and homoromantic. This is extremely normal and you don't have to feel guilty about it. Although its debated whether celebrities really qualify for an attraction as they are almost fictional for us. But that's another topic and i don't want to confuse you more. So the best thing I can tell you rn is that don't be ashamed of what you're feeling, and give yourself time. Trust me you will figure out or your desires will become more clear to you. And don't try to limit yourself, experiment with and live your sexuality. Like i said, sexuality is fluid so please don't expect yours to have clearcut lines (although you probably want it to have bc its just safer that way). I hope I was able to help you. I'm not a lesbian so our lovely lesbian bloggers can help you as well🥹 pls don't be hard on yourself ily <3