#but there’s no one I even trust enough irl to be ranting to without feeling like I’m burdening them

[caught-in-the-filter]

.

[sockssketchingshack]

So uh. I never really did an intro soooo

I see a lot of people asking about commissions and I am here to tell you that I don't do them! They stress me out! Sorry but they're Scary. But I do drawing *requests*. Because I like drawing things without any form of pressure to draw them!

Now that's out of the way, hello there! My name is Socrates. But everyone calls me socks.

I am an adult! 18 years old, April 23 2006.

My pronouns are he/him!

I am both a trans man and bisexual!

Things you should know:

I have low to severe functioning autism. Meaning I need help from those outside of my own self. Basically help with my day to day life and for scary situations such as talking to strangers IRL. Or complex decisions such as bank details or that kinda thing. I need others to help me!

That doesn't mean I'm not smart though. I'm mostly slow. I call it rebooting. So if I ever take a while to respond it's probably because I'm thinking about what to say!

I have bipolar disorder. I deal mostly with mood swings one minute ranting about how cute my cat is the next minute crying over how cute my cat is.

I deal with a lot of doctors! Two or more appointments a week! So if I tell you multiple times over a short span of time I can't talk cause I'm going to the doctor's it's not an overused excuse! It's true!

I have severe anxiety. Meaning any communication at all stresses me out. But I still really wanna try to socialize!

I have memory issues.

So if you wanna talk I'm welcome to it. I'm just really, really, shy. And sometimes I'll panic and end conversations out of nowhere. So if you ever wanna talk all I ask is to be understanding and a lil patient.

And if you talk to me long enough I'll grow to trust you! Which means I'll feel more comfortable and calm when talking to you!

About my art:

I love art! But it's hard to do since I have some physical problems. But I do it anyway! I mainly draw things I like or request / challenges I receive. I like to draw my little persona alot because he's simple and easy to draw. I also have a lot of OC's! Ask me about them! I love them all and will be over the moon to share their stories outside of just the art I make of them!

About my text posts:

Text posts are semi common. It's mostly little ramblings or rants. Or just how I'm feeling. But again I mostly posts art.

If I ever interact with you or your posts:

It means I wanna talk to you but don't know how so I just try to show affection with hearts and sometimes if I'm brave enough a comment or reply. But I still really wanna learn to socialize with you!

Hobbies:

Art, cooking, baking, gardening, sewing, video games.

Lastly:

Ask me stuff! Talk to me if ya want! I am lonely. And I love you! And I'm proud of you! Take care of yourself! You deserve it! Bye! Love you!

Things I like (extra bit):

Get ready it's a long lists,

anime!

Any anime really even if I haven't seen it! I have watched a bit of or completed, Naruto, one piece, jujutsu keisen, Ouran host club, black clover, sword art online, attack on Titan, Yuri on ice, one punch man, my hero academia, assassination classroom, food wars, pokemon, the promised Neverland. And a bit more I'm probably forgetting.

Video games!

Any video game really! Even if I haven't played it! But I have played or watched others play: stardew valley, undertale, Minecraft, Roblox, terraria, cult of the lamb, overwatch 2, dead by daylight, Skyrim, halo, rocket League, cod black ops 2 zombies, moonlighter, hollow night, sky children of the light, don't starve together, subnautica, subnautica below zero, alot of different Pokemon games, five nights at Freddy's, astroneer, monster hunters, and one of my absolute all time favorites SLIME RANCHER!

other medias / things, TV shows, books, etc:

Percy Jackson, a bit of harry potter, marvel universe, DC universe, amazing digital circus, don't hug me I'm scared, Steven universe, avatar the last Airbender, we bear bears, and more I'm probably forgetting.

That's all bye.

[good-oldfashioned-lover-girl]

help i'm not sure what to do...

rant below (it's really really long, i just really needed to rant at something that wasn't my mind, i'm not actually expecting anyone to read it don't worry)

i don't really like the idea of posting about my life, mostly because i don't feel active enough for anything to actually come of it and i'm not even sure i want anything to come of it but you know what imma take this as free therapy as it's not like i would want to talk to the irl people in my life.

i have a really close friend who also has tumblr but always seems as though they didn't want me to know about theirs so i always tried not to even accidentally find it. i told them my old username before they had tumblr but then i changed it when they got it, mostly using it as an excuse because i never really liked my old one.

we both said we would never look for each others accounts, but today it was made quite clear that they at least knew my username, something i couldn't care less about but was a little annoyed they wouldn't stop lying to me.

they then suddenly lashed out at me, and sent me a picture of their account which i never wanted to see. i barely looked at it and merely complimented the colours and pfp, but still they were incredibly passive aggressive.

the problem is i know they're going through a really hard time right now and i really don't want to make it any harder by lashing out back or being equally as passive aggressive as i know i'm often inclined to be, and this is especially now when things are going so well between us as friends.

i'm never one for being incredibly close friends with one person as it is an idea that terrifies me, meaning for example i swing between calling absolutely no one my best friend to everyone i simply talk to and is relatively nice to me is my best friend. i know this probably seems like nothing but honestly since even the early years of primary school the idea of calling just one or maybe two people my best friend is just absolutely not.

for a while me and this friend got incredibly close and they started calling me their best friend, which i tried really hard to do back but the stigma i've built around it in my head made it really hard and made me feel really uncomfortable.

i'm awful at explaining things but i did my best to explain as such to my friend without hurting them because it doesn't mean i don't still want to be really really close, it's just one line i wasn't willing to cross and they seemed to respect that, giving me the tiny bit more space i personally needed.

i know at many points i will have made many many mistakes, but they have become the one person i trust almost completely to the point of not even worrying about the little slip ups i make around them and i don't do things such as worrying if i talked too much etc. because i trust that they understand me enough so that i don't worry.

but now they seem really angry, and i don't even know why, and so for the first time in ages i'm genuinely worried that i've messed something up just a little to much, not that that would be the first time someone's randomly decided to despise my guts when i don't know why so the possibility is entirely possible.

and i don't know what to do to try and patch it up, and even more importantly if there's anyway to still try and help them through the shit time they're having despite clearly not helping.

on top of that i don't know how to help them in the first place because my immediate reaction to anything is just complete sarcasm or 'lmao mood' i'm sure neither of which help.

so i shall leave all 0 of you who put themselves through reading that alone and thank you.

[meg2md]

Wow, you're off Tumblr for months and the UI gets more fucked up than ever! Nice. How does Tumblr do it? Keep getting worse and worse? And yet I still come back to this website occasionally, because I'm also trash.

Residency makes it hard to keep a blog. I barely have time for household chores and hobbies, let alone ONLINE journaling when I'm also pouring out my heart occasionally on my actual, IRL written journal and trying to maintain friendships.

Anyway. Started R2. It's actually better so far, as much as I felt I was never going to be ready. Don't get me wrong, I still feel woefully inadequate approximately all of the time. But wow, does it feel good to not hold the gyne and OB pager, to not have to fight with the nurses about pitocin on the floor, to do something other than manage labor on OB days. I started on nights, which I thought was going to be a disaster, but actually ended up being fine. I think I got lucky, because usually the R2 gets blown up since they manage antepartum AND gynecology overnight, but the ED and antepartum nurses were relatively benign to me.

And just... the FREEDOM of not having to write q2h strip and mag notes, to not have to pay hawk-like attention to the strips... and the nurses and I get along better than ever now that

A) they have new intern prey to feast upon, and

B) I'm not riding everyone's ass about the strips

Literally, my LEAST FAVORITE PART OF MY JOB is being a labor intern because you're expected to make sure the pitocin keeps going up, up, up but the nurses don't always want to with a category 2 strip, but like, category 2 doesn't mean it's not reassuring, and also you can't have a baby without contractions, but there's always a "policy" for why we can't do XYZ.... and it's like... why am I even here then, just run the labor floor without me if everything is 100% policy-driven, lol. Category 2 isn't BAD guys!!! It's not always bad. And I know the strips aren't always amazing but dude.... we either pit enough we can get a baby out vaginally or they might as well get cut here and now instead of spinning our wheels with inadequate pitocin dosing.

Anyway... rant over hahaha. Ooooh I hated labor as an intern. I loved it in the beginning, but I QUICKLY, QUICKLY came to dread it for the above reasons. And now, as an R2 on OB days, my primary job will be c-sections! Which is incredible because right now I feel like I'm so bad at them. I've done a few over 20 since I started residency. Other programs have you do more as an intern, but I did end up with >200 vaginal deliveries, so I really can't complain. And like I said, my OB days blocks will be me doing 2-5 sections per day... so I'll get real good real fast. I just don't do it for awhile (nights > family planning > oncology > OB days) so I feel nervous when I'm assigned sections on nights and call, but I'll get there eventually. TRUST THE PROCESS, they say. I mean, I guess I thought I'd never figure out how to insert a hysteroscope into a uterus and chomp off an intracavitary leiomyoma, and I figured that out by the end of R1, so there's got to be something to it.

Things I still don't feel good about that I should have gotten better at by the end of R1: LACERATION REPAIRS. But whatever. I'm sure it will improve as my surgical skills improve.

Now I'm starting to stress because in the middle of having more responsibility, figuring out C-sections and basic laparoscopy, etc, I have to get research started and decide once and for all if I want to do fellowship. I've been waffling between generalist practice and MIGS for ages.

On one hand, I do like obstetrics more than I initially expected, I like that I'll have more freedom to do abortion care, and the thought of MORE training when I'm already almost 32 and have 2.5 years left of residency makes me want to vomit. On the other hand, the MIGS lifestyle is much better than OB lifestyle, I may still be able to do abortions, and I really, REALLY want to have elite surgical training. I'm sure I'll figure it out more on my gynecology and oncology blocks when I do more minimally invasive/generally spend more time in the OR. Not sure how much I like the thought of running a chronic pain and endometriosis clinic. But also... I feel like I went to a decently-tiered medical school and graduated with the assumption I would do fellowship, and to cut my training short and arguably without satisfactory surgical training feels bad. Because at the end of the day, I'm not actually sure how well general OB/GYN residency prepares you for surgery. I'm not sure I trust it yet.

C'est la vie. Back to other things. Studying hormonal contraception in patients with medical co-morbidities before biking back to my house to play MASS EFFECT 3. I'm also a pickle ball fanatic now.

Byeee

[thatoneguy031]

Can I talk about something? Out of character, I mean.

It's a long post, but you don't have to read it if you're not interested. It's more of a vent post than anything else.

I've been having a hard time with this blog. Not in the popularity sense, this is what I expected from this kind of thing. I mean like... I don't know what to do with it. I've experimented with a few things(You can go way back in my post history if you want to see what I mean), but those ideas sorta fell flat, no?

This was originally meant to be a storytelling blog. I wanted to share my little synopses of my characters and plot points or whatever, because I was genuinely proud of what I've done so far.

Then I resorted to trying to be a comedian. I would try to post something funny under most reblogs, leaving them be if I couldn't come up with a remark of any kind.

It wasn't until recently that I decided to turn this into a Pokemon IRL blog, and I'm not even doing that well with this. That, and I'm afraid that I come off as self-centered, so I cut any posts that give that kind of vibe. Heck, I even tried doing a playthrough series, but I keep forgetting about it, and when I do remember that it exists, I just postpone the next update to oblivion.

I really want to keep this blog going, and trust me when I say I'm going to, but it's not going anywhere, and I feel like nothing is happening. At first, I thought it was just Tumblr having boring days, but I realized that I'm just not doing anything entertaining. My blog just turned into a pool of reblogs with the occasional Pokemon-related post or rant. And I mostly wait for either @the-one-from-dres or @drizzileiscool to bring up the occasional topic that I might have enough insight to talk about. Sorry for @'ing you guys, by the way, I just need folks to know who I'm talking about. Y'all the goats.

Once I got my drawing tablet, I thought that I could do a bunch of art stuff, but then it devolved into the same potential self-obsession problem, where I would just draw that one character(which is literally just a Samurott with anxiety and a Goku complex, let's be honest with ourselves here) over and over again. I have other characters I can draw, and I'm even taking free art requests. Granted, I haven't gotten any requests yet, but the option was still there.

And that's how we got here. I have to retake my Regents in literally under 24 hours, and I'm bitching and moaning about how I'm not getting anywhere in my ha-ha internet blog, which everyone already takes as a joke anyway.

If anything, I think my problem comes from a lack of communication. There was this like, 4 day period that I didn't hear a word from Dres, and I thought he hated me for something I did, until he involved me in 3 back-to-back reblog games literally the next day.

I still feel awful about it now, it was so petty of me to even think that way. For context, Dres might as well be my day one, and he's inadvertently taught me the ins and outs of Tumblr, like how to use tags and things like that. Hell, we even played DnD together once. No exaggeration, he's the closest thing I've had to a real friend in years, and I'm convinced that's only the case because he hasn't seen me in person.

I love him deeply, and only wish the best for him. To think that he'd leave me after I did basically nothing, I've really hit a new level of desperate. He likely had his own things to do, while I'm still stressing about things that probably don't even matter in hindsight.

Back to my original point, I want to do a lot more on this blog, and I also wanted to make it a chill place.

That's one of the reasons why I don't talk about politics myself. I don't want to get involved in things like that at all, because I want people to live without worry. The furthest I go with that kind of thing is "Stop being dicks to each other. We're people, deal with it." I know it's more complicated than that, but at this point, I'm almost scared to get involved in that kind of thing. I don't even know what a terf is. I didn't know Rowling was a bad person until recently when Drizzile was talking about her.

And it's like, I don't even know why it's so hard to talk to people for me. But at the same time, I think I really have something wrong with me, but I'm too scared to get it checked out. And, while I'm not getting into personal details, I don't have the right circumstances to even have that happen in the first place. That's the out of character reason why I say I might have ADHD, instead of outright saying I have it. I literally can't get it diagnosed myself if I wanted to, and I don't do the self-diagnosis stuff because I always get paranoid and think my problem is worse than it is. For example, I've convinced myself three times within the past year and a half that I had appendicitis, because I would get this really specific pain in my stomach. Guess who I told about it?

No one. I was terrified of wasting someone's time just for it to be me freaking out over nothing, and if I'm being honest, I still am. At this point, I have a plethora of things wrong with me, I know that now, but I don't ever get them checked out. I'm doing well so far with them, why worry about it now.

I just don't want to offend anyone. All I wanted to do was make a place where I and other people could have fun.

This is still going to primarily be a Pokemon IRL blog, but I'm doing something different. Please, if there's anything you all want to see on here, let me know. Stuff for Guy, art stuff, whatever floats your boat besides the obvious. And I'll do my best to keep up with my stories and fanfics or whatever. Once I get my stuff settled again, obviously, but I don't want to make it seem like I'm doing this for myself.

I don't want to turn this into a pity party. I really don't. At this point, I'm sick of having people worry about me. Whenever they do, I feel like I'm being an attention hog, and it sucks. If you did read this, thanks for listening. I just needed to get this much off my chest.

[typicalopposite]

Hi :)

I'm sending this to you without telling you first because I want it to be a surprise --- which is also why I'm not just sending it on Discord --- but feel free not to answer here (since it'd be in public and that's scary). It's up to you.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a proper happy New Year, given that 2023 is coming up pretty soon, and say that I'm really grateful that we started talking. I can't say I expected that helping with one little fic was going to spiral into this beast of a friendship, but I'm so, so grateful that it did. I know this year hasn't been easy --- for you or for me --- but I greatly appreciate your help getting through it, and I hope that the next year is a better one for you. You're one of my best friends at this point --- if not my best, frankly; indeed, I think that's an increasingly likely fact --- and I just want to say thanks. You're a great writer, with great ideas, and you're just an awesome person in general; it's a damn honor to know you and call myself your friend.

You know me, so you know I'm not really one for big, public displays of emotion, but I figured that some half-assed comment in a Discord DM wasn't suitable, so here I am, taking the plunge anyway. I hope this wasn't overstepping at all.

All the best in the year ahead, and thank you so damn much.

Omggggg weeench! I already agreed to watch Dark Angel you did not have to come for me so aggressively 😭😭😭

Ok, but seriously… I cannot even think up the right words for this, so bear with the rambling to follow…

You are literally what has made joining fandom so enjoyable! Having someone to rave about the stuff that people irl don’t get about me is just amazing and I am so grateful you have given me that! You don’t even understand the dark places your friendship has helped me out of. And for that I am so grateful to you! I meant it when I said sometimes your pocket friends are the best you have… you are quite literally the best I have! 💕

Thank you for putting up with my absentmindedness and rants about my hellions, (especially that oldest one 😮‍💨) Thank you for trusting me enough to come to me with your own struggles; I can only hope I have helped as much as you have helped me! Thank you for being the SPAG beta when I need it(I have no idea if that semicolon belonged there). Thank you for sharing my dark humor. Thank you for the jokes and the laughs and the good times and the bad. And thank you thank you thank you for being my friend!

Life really does have a way of putting wonderful things in your path just when you need them, or maybe it’s just the simulation 💕💕

Love ya Wench! Cause we’re normalizing that now 🥰

[mageofseven]

Hiii I saw you had match ups open for obey me and I’d love it if you did one for me with any of the boys!!! (Hopefully I understood your guidelines right)

I’m not too good at describing myself, but I’ll do my best 😭 I’m kinda bad with zodiac stuff but I’m a Capricorn (whatever that means) which is fun since I don’t share that sign with any of them I think lol

Personality wise I’m a very loud person, I have terrible volume control, and I tend to be very cheery!! Think glitter and sparkles and rainbows personified basically. However because god hates me I’m also really awkward and terrible at social interaction so I sorta just end up making a fool out of myself a lot 😭😭😭 I don’t really go out much or have a lot of irl friends so it’s a STRUGGLE and I’m constantly worried that people think I’m weird or come across as like, creepy idk, it kinda sucks cause I do love to talk to people but I can’t help that I’m bad at it!!!!!!

(The undiagnosed autism doesn’t help probably)

So yeah as for hobbies and stuff I’m an artist!! I’m studying it in college and it’s basically my whole life, I’m trying to get to a point where I could one day illustrate a story!! I’m best with traditional stuff like oil painting but I’m practicing digital art too!! Writing is also something I like to do though I’m less confident at it, reading is also a hobby of mine and trust me I could go on like, a million long year RANT about Frankenstein I’m like so mentally ill about it

Ofc I love video games too!!! Mostly RPGs and JRPGs, but I also like visual novels and horror games of all types!!! Currently my favorite game is probabblyyyyyyyyyy the elder scrolls III Morrowind, I love that game to death! I play league of legends too and YES I GENUINELY THINK ITS FUN 😭😭😭😭 anyway,,, I like anime and manga too, haven’t been that crazy about it for a while but still, oh and I cosplay too!!

ALSO ALSO I love stuffed animals I have a huge collections of them and I cannot sleep without at least one because my cat is MEAN and refuses to sleep besides me at night and I get lonely :(

Okay I think that’s it sorry if I rambled on for ages looll I just rlly rlly love obey me atm and I’m in love with every single one of the guys!!! (sans luke obvi he’s my son) Hopefully I gave you enough to work with ^v^ have a nice day!!!!!!!!!! <3 ✨ ✨

- 🦄 (my cool anon signature even tho this is just one part)

Awwww first off, bless you for feeling the love for our precious baby angel son Lukey 🥰💕

Secondly, despite keeping all of the Boys in mind, your description brought two Brothers to mind, but one yelled louder in my head

And this is partially because of your own volume since you said you have bad volume control, but are cheerful~

I pair you with...

Mammon

This man would love your cutesy, cheerful personality! And it would make his brain short circuit at times 😅

Getting together would be a bit difficult considering considering you're awkward and struggle with social skills and this man is extremely awkward for those he has feelings for. He will make a fool out himself time and time again.

Honestly, y'all will probably be best friends long before you date, giving you plenty of time to get comfy with with him and show your loud n' sweet side. Like dear, neither of y'all know how to control your volume, to the dismay of the other brothers, but it's okay bc you're both having fun!

When people think video games, they usually think Levi, but Mammon like playing them too! He'd love to play games with you or even watch you play your favorite games (though he'll probably talk the entire time you play so hopefully you don't mind 😅)

Honestly, he knows very little about art, but I think he'd enjoy watching you draw, especially when using oil painting because I doubt he's truly seen anyone do anything like that before. He'd be honestly impressed by your skill, but maybe a biiiiiit too embarrassed to say so at first.

Also, HE WILL BUY YOU SOOOO MANY NEW STUFFIES. Like for real, he finds you collecting stuffed animals to be really cute. I can totally see him just randomly buying you more stuffies, but even more so, this man will take every chance he gets to win you one from a crane game and show off his skills...or lack there of lol.

I did think about pairing you with Levi, but I think the third brother would appreciate your lack of volume control less than Mammon does.

[ver-slxt]

before reading please know this is from experience and i am NOT dictating everyones experience, i am just ranting about bad instances about privilege/bad therapists/therapy, so before you comment (and ill know if youve read this at all by your comment = blocking) please read the four points!

…

THIS. i see antis all the time get their thong in a twist because people ship stuff they want to (that the anti doesnt agree with). and they usually follow up with a ‘kys’ or ‘get therapy!’ like, first all. therapy is NOT cheap, and no, online ‘free’ therapy isnt good either. it takes a LOT of work to find a therapist WITHIN price range AND actually agrees/supports/is okay with you as their client + that you even get to the point (which would be months or even years) being comfortable enough to tell them this stuff anyways without the fear of them insta reporting you and hauling your butt off to the ward (happened to me almost three times, two worked..).

as someone whos experienced bad stuff growing up, ive been to therapy for almost a decade now and let me tell you four things ive run into..

…

1• you have to pay a lot for these people. my therapist + med doctor NOW, costs about 2-300$ a visit, AND THATS PER (separate) PERSON, not two people in one visit. and this is out of our insurance (doctor recommended). but not everyone who goes to therapy has really good insurance/insurance at all, therefore cannot go because its too expensive + its a very priveleged thing to say ‘instead of projecting your trauma in a normal (or even non-normal) way through comships/proships FOR FREE (without it causing harm to yourself/others) go pay HUNDREDS of dollars because thats mainstream/it worked for me!!’ like do you hear yourself,????? everyone is different and no two traumas are alike, and even if once in a blue moon they ARE very similar, two seperate individuals can cope with that similar experience in ENTIRELY different directions/ways… anyways, you may say, ‘why not go to a person in your insurance’ you ask? I HAVE. many times. which brings me to number two.

…

2• bad therapists. listen, cheap isnt always better. ive had therapists make me pay my entire 30$ BEFORE the session starts, then cut me off around 30/40 minutes in (mid session/even mid talking) (they lasted an hour/hour and a half typically). cheaper therapists/local therapists that arent connected through doctor recommendations are not usually the best imo, along with ive heard really bad stuff about the free ones online + new psych students treating patients like guinea pigs/other issues..

…

3• they dont like you. listen, this is not the case EVERY time, but from experience, every therapist ive seen/talked too (about 10 of them now) has disagreed with me on my OWN viewpoint of my toxic household. but you may say, ‘oh but theyre allowed to disagree?’ yes! they can! but you cant be disagreeing about my abuser not being the issue and I am the issue instead (wacko). most (not all) therapists treat it as their job, and you as their customer. yes, some people have really good relationships with their therapist, but please dont think for one second they wont report you + say some out of pocket stuff because theyre the ‘experienced one’ (trust me, its as rude irl as it sounds).

…

4• what ‘tools’ they use/let you talk about SUCK. my newer therapist, granted, isnt the best but its all i have rn, doesnt personally let me vent or talk about my childhood trauma/stuff that actually bothers me. its always “catch me up since weve last talked” and thats it. always the same thing.. along with that, they give you packets about journaling your feelings, and someone who cannot just ‘breathe and count to ten to feel better’ these packets are genuinely useless and i usually dont do them. most therapists have a very basic and general approach to these intense things (especially neurotypical therapists) because they have the mindset of: A) works 9/10 times but if not, B) is the next best thing. and most times they dont actually get to know their patient outside of friendly conversation/med records..

…

if anyone stayed for the entire rant thank you lolz, it was a huge thing to get off my chest but it seriously irks me that, again, antis actually just look at surface level things within communities instead of actually hearing people who belong in this (and other) communities, then without a thought they deem it ‘problematic’, and spread mis-info and demonize the people doing it.

…

TYSM FOR STAYING HAVE A COOKIE IF YOU READ IT ALL 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 ILY ALL!!!

"you need to go to therapy" no thank you, fictional incest is cheaper

[fwuffblanket]

Just venting, again

I'm living on a stubborn thread of delusional dreams for a future I'll never get to have. I try to live my life without these threads but I always end up falling and clinging onto them once again. I listened to the counselor's instructions to having a "healthy" mind and mentality during our many lectures. I tried making a good support system like the counselor said. But I fear that if I lean on them for help, they won't want to be around me anymore. I can never get my thoughts to be said out loud without extreme consequences. It just never ends well. Inanimate objects like stuffed animals and toys, keep me from doing something I know I'll regret. Though when people see how much I rely on them, they think it's funny or unreasonable. I see how they would think that, I know it isn't "normal" but nobody is normal right? Objects never make my happiness last long. Just like all my other attempts at being happy, they were fruitless and I should just give up on them. But its like permanent dye staining your hair, you can't get rid of it easily. And I just don't have the time to do that, nor the motivation.

+ Upcoming Tw SH +

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Being bored is like a punishment, its dreadful. Without entertainment, I lose myself in the depressing caverns that are the back of my mind. Spiraling with no motivation to crawl out of that destructive mind set. I make playlist after playlist, I buy plushies and toys. But its never enough to fill that void. No matter how much I feed it, it's never satisfied. Only when I follow through with the craving to just scratch, and scratch until there is just a giant rash, it will be content. But never for long enough. Its just exhausting..

-Once again, another quote -

" Don't you want to rip off your finger nails? Let the maggots feast while you rot in jail. Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us? I want to scratch myself with infected rust" - Hey Bunny by Baby Bugs

+End Tw+

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I am often guilty of holding extreme grudges. Even if its been 6 years I will still have it on my mind. No matter how many times one apologizes I still struggle to forgive and forget. It weighs on my shoulders until it finally caves in and smashes me like the worthless bug I am.

I follow my gut feeling and I know when I'm right. But eventually the fear of confrontation and the backlash of calling them out. Outweighs the benefits of getting them out of my life. I know that there is only one person who knows about this acc, that knows me irl. But just knowing that if I mess up, at any point he can out the secrets I so dearly need hidden. I know its wrong to think someone I care about, and trust a ton would even think of doing that. Because the reasonable part of me knows they wouldn't, but overthinking usually gets the best of me. I can't say much about the person who doesn't have access to this acc. Other than the empty apologies she gives me when she hurts my feelings. The ignoring my opinions, yelling at me to just "Shut up!" and let her speak whenever I try to rant about anything I care about. I can't with this anymore, she doesn't even let me talk!

-Quote time-

" I don't want to be forced to listen, under coercion" - Mommy Fwiend by Penelope Scott

"Fake apologies are rain on a cloudless day. And I don't think I've ever seen a sky so clear." I'm not crying your crying by PinkShift

--Srry for making this so long, once I got going I couldn't stop--

[astridthevalkyrie]

man this was such. a terrible new year.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

A short thread I found about Gojo's character that helps shine a light to how caring he is:

https://twitter.com/musikawu/status/1376984416485007363?s=19

Also, I actually just realized this recently after rewatching JJK that Gojo got super attached to Yuji really quickly. Gojo not only got very angry on his behalf but went out of his way to ask Nanami for help in caring for Yuji when he's supposed to be the strongest sorcerer. And at that time, Gojo made it clear to Nanami that he didn't ask him to do so due to Yuji's potential as a vessel. Gojo asked Nanami for this favor as an adult who wants to see the growth of a young man. Gojo was very precise in telling Nanami that he was looking not at Sukuna and Yuji's power, but at Yuji himself as not only an individual, but a child that needed nurturing and care. Before Yuji's death, Gojo had already even made preparations to have Yuta take care of Yuji cause he knew something might happen to him- even more development is that despite what Gojo says about himself, he's aware of his own flaws. What he appears to be on the outside is nothing like what he truly feels on the inside. He doesn't delude himself into narcissistic behavior that makes him unable to ask for help. He asks for help willingly and of his own accord- Yuta couldn't even fathom how the strongest sorcerer would face a problem he couldn't solve on his own, but Gojo does. Gojo is smart enough to know he needs to rely on others to move forward, and relying on someone means putting a certain amount of trust there. Gojo puts just as much faith in other people as he does himself, and the interesting part is that while it's more admirable to go out of your way to protect someone else, Gojo never brags about that. He only "brags" about things that will annoy the other person, but really he is only saying a commonly known "truth" in order to rile people up. It may sound like bragging- which it sort of is- but Gojo saying he's the strongest is not a lie. Him saying "I alone am the honoured one" is not necessarily a lie either. People don't call him the Strongest for nothing.

In fact, even more interestingly enough, besides Gojo, who includes Geto when people talk about the "strongest?" Despite being the definite "strongest," Gojo is the one who constantly says "We are the Strongest," not the other way around. He's also mature enough to recognize and point out other people's strengths, such as Mei Mei's, saying she is too strong to cry.

If Gojo truly was a narcissist, he would have mentioned everything else he's done for people, like stopping Megumi's sale to the Zenin clan and getting the Fushiguros financial aid. He could brag about being persuasive enough to save Yuji from execution or even saving Yuta from execution- Yuta becoming a special grade sorcerer soon after Gojo saved him is something you can easily brag about- but Gojo doesn't brag about his personal achievements at all- not in the way that demands respect from others, at least. Gojo only "brags" to tease others lightheartedly and to tick them off a little- and I don't think the demeaning things Gojo says to the higher ups can be used to show he's a narc because *many* people in Gojo's position would have said (and done) much, much worse things.

Also, when Yuji died, Gojo had become so emotional that even Shoko, who had been there since Gojo's youth, had commented on how unlike him it was. People irl really thought it was because Gojo couldn't use him as a weapon against the higher ups anymore, but reading how Gojo had told Nanami that he saw their relationship as an adult and a child makes me think differently. Something very important in the Light Novel is when Gojo tells Nanami that his students, because they are sorcerers, will soon have to "face the evil intentions of sh*tty humans." Not only sorcerers, but "every person has to bite into that bitterness, know what it means to give up, and pile up despairs to become an adult." People like Gojo and Nanami, Gojo had said, are capable of withstanding and releasing the "poison" that runs through the heart. However, the youngsters are more sensitive in that age, and "one poison could destroy their hearts" (I'm sure Gojo was thinking of Geto as he said this). That's why he wants to leave Yuji in the care of Nanami, "an adult who understands other people pain." Not that Gojo is unable to understand pain, but in the earlier events of the Light Novel as context, Gojo is faced with a mother who is mourning the loss of her child. While Nanami tries to gently comfort her and secretly find information on the cursed spirit at the same time using vague words, Gojo's words are straight forward and to the point, which startles the mother. It's not necessarily a bad things, however- Gojo's words had ended up allowing the mother to see her situation as it was without delusions, a tough love situation, so to speak, and the two were able to confirm their intel to be correct. It was Gojo who helped her to heal quicker by allowing her to realize her problem through his cutting words, but I'm sure Gojo realizes his "bad personality,"- which isn't really so bad in some cases- isn't for everyone. Gojo is very aware that people react negatively to his behavior, even if he is unable to understand just how deeply they despise him (*cough* Utahime) In that way, Gojo shows he cares very much for Yuji's mental growth, even in that short period of time, by entrusting his care to Nanami, who he comments would do a much better job than be could.

Therefore, I think Gojo might actually get attached to people more quickly than it might seem like. He also thinks very deeply and no matter how he acts, he's able to recognize others' strengths and acknowledge his own flaws- this is a key part of his character because he doesn't delude himself in his position as the Strongest. To those who think Gojo sees himself as a God, he is far from that behavior, and he is self aware enough to know that people need more to grow than just power and strength. Unfortunately, it seems most people either despise Gojo or are too enamoured by his looks to see past the surface of the more boisterous and childish part of his personality. That's likely the main reason he finds it hard to commit, too.

(More ranting 😭. There was this reddit post saying Gojo's narcissistic enough to be a more evil villain than Sukuna, that he would actually end up becoming the villain- like really??? And so many people really agreed that he's incapable of feeling true emotions that it's absurd. I really can't believe they even think Gojo has a God complex. Someone with a God complex, like most of the other disorders, wouldn't be able to admit their own flaws, let alone ask for help! The fact that Gojo even admits to having a "bad personality" is another tell against that. Sometimes I wonder if people are just projecting, but I also realize it's hard to differentiate between being an ENTP and being a sociopath because of how- on the surface- they seem so similar! But if you just dig a little deeper to look at their roots, they are so completely different it's a wonder how you'd get confused in the first place)

- 🤔

OH I COULDN'T AGREE MORE 🤔 anon here spitting FACTS. Yeah alot of people think gojo's a narcissist with huge ego but that ain't the case at all as explained above. I mean he was put on a pedestal since birth he gotta have some ego in that but that fact doesnt blind him. yeah sure he's the strongest but just one line "I'm the strongest" doesn't mean he's bragging it may sound like it but he's just stating facts he is indeed in fact the strongest in the jujutsu society. He knows he can't do everything on his own I mean why did he even become a teacher in the first place? Becuz he wants to make the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers stronger! No one asked him to do it he himself wanted to be a teacher even though at time he sucks at it.

He genuinely wants to do good not just for himself but for others as well. As interesting as the concept of Gojo becoming a villain it will never happen. Don't judge a damn book by it's cover even if it's a very attractive one hes just such an interesting character its shame most people don't see that.

[hextechmaturgy]

Hey @meradormire you asked for clarification, I'm sorry this turned into a huge rant love u

I will preface this by saying that I played pathologic classic HD first and much prefer that game to pathologic 2, so my interpretations of this story and characters start with classic, and usually end there too, but sometimes the second game supports them.

Disclaimer for difficult topics such as suicide. Spoilers for both games too.

And a lighter disclaimer to say I’m more confident in Andrey’s characterization that I am Peter’s.

So, what the fuck is Memorial do Convento. It’s a book written by Nobel Prize winner José Saramago that analyzes and critiques the social, moral and economic conditions of the court of King João V and the people living under his rule at the time. Saramago makes fun of pretty much everyone at one point or another, criticizing characters of privileged social status (their omnipotence, the exploitation of the commoners, etc), Portuguese (in)justice with the Inquisition going strong and whatnot, and even the commoners themselves for the blind trust they put in the Church and their morbid interest in autos-de-fé (rituals of public penance and executions).

TL;DR it’s a pretty based book

How this relates to the Stamatwins is probably something that only makes sense in my brain, but I’ll try to explain it. Fair warning if none of it makes sense tho <3

SO... Though I think it’s safe to say the twins are quite privileged now (their celebrity status makes it so they don’t even have to work anymore, they’re not about to starve anytime soon that’s for sure) I think it’s valid enough to say they would probably be dead if it weren’t for their rich sponsors.

Genius alone will not sustain you; such is the fate of many artists. Andrey and Peter were persecuted for their work and their ideas, they rejected the laws and conventions of their society and were hunted for that. Andrey speaks of himself as Peter’s protector, and we know he’s been sentenced to death in four countries. One day, they would’ve run out of bullets, knives, or merely countries. But before that could happen, the Kains brought them into their ranks and provided them with all the tools they needed to safely express themselves.

But the Kains had an agenda, and I’m very passionate about the fact that the twins were manipulated into working for them without knowing about it.

In the book, King João V is trying to get his wife pregnant and failing miserably. One day, a priest tells the King that, should he build a Convent in Mafra after that priest’s religion, he would have descendants, and the King buys into it. The hilarious part is that the priest came to him with this request fully knowing the Queen was pregnant already, and just said some bullshit about seeing the future or whatever.

The twins are tasked by the Kains with building the Polyhedron, but I don’t believe they’re told of their true intentions. The King buys into the priest’s request because, yeah sure, I do want that son. The twins buy into the Kain’s request because, yeah sure, utopia is something I can get behind. When the Queen reveals her pregnancy and the Polyhedron stands despite gravity itself, everyone feels like miracles are real. And, I get it, the Polyhedron is a miracle, that thing cannot exist IRL, so you do need to squint to see the metaphor, but to me it is there. Both the Church and the Kains manipulate someone desperate so they can get something they want, and they succeed. Daniil is manipulated too, as we know.

I’m confident Andrey and Peter didn’t fully know what they were doing when they made the Polyhedron. Peter falls into despair after its creation, sensing there is something about it he can’t understand no matter how hard he tries, that some part of it will always be beyond its own creator and parent, as Miss Polly is often referred to as a beautiful daughter.

Peter Stamatin: The discovery is not mine. I've nothing to be proud of, really... I've stumbled across it by accident. Moreover, I don't really understand how it works. I've studied my own calculations inside out-and I still don't get it. Something's off, but what? That is the question...

(^ This is said to Daniil as Peter contemplates suicide.)

Andrey is revolted when he learns of Maria’s/Daniil’s solution to stop the plague.

Andrey and Peter were probably aiming for the Tower of Babbel, a structure built without God, not to mount to Heaven from Earth, but to set up Heaven on Earth. That particular myth goes that God disrupted the people’s work by confusing the language of the workers so they could no longer understand each other. I’d like to believe the confusion and disagreement from that myth is present here too.

Andrey says the Polyhedron was built for people, that it has no meaning without people. It was also built by people. Even if the twins built it completely on their own without any hired workers, which I think is unlikely, the fact of the matter is that Andrey and Peter are still just people, perfectly human, mortal if brilliant men.

When construction begins in Mafra, many people, with no other means to earn a living, dedicated themselves to the Convent, sacrificing their livelihood and even dying due to the risky working conditions they had to face, as the Convent was a huge undertaking. Their names were forgotten by time, so Saramago makes it his mission to remember their efforts, and that left an impression on me at the time I read the book. This was during high school, after all :P

So I think about the twins, who were asked to choose between persecution and possibly death, or a miracle. The King’s first born ended up being a daughter – WINK. The Stamatwins are both the commoner and the King.

Again, I really can’t deny their privilege, but I see a love for humanity in the twins that I don’t see in some of the other utopians. Andrey runs a pub to entertain the town, giving into carnal pleasures with just about anyone. There is a different discussion to be had here about Andrey as a questionable boss, but the point I’m trying to make is that everyone is welcome in his house. He even tells Artemy, the 'big scary Ripper’, that if someone comes for him inside his walls, he’ll beat the shit out of them. He’s arrogant, but I don’t really sense a rich man’s entitlement in him. I even think it’s cute that classic Andrey can trade stuff with you just like the children do.

Peter doesn’t give me entitlement either, or even much arrogance. He’s not a perfect man, but he's hounded by a million problems with no solutions, one of which is his own brother, so he’s aloof and introspective, but not anti-social. He’s living in his own world, not gatekeeping it from others.

To me, Andrey and Peter live somewhere between the leaders and the people. They are a secret third thing, if you will. They believe in a dream, in miracles, in the ascension of the human soul, as all utopians ought to do, but they get their hands dirty in their quest to achieve all of that, they toil away and mingle with the average Joe because their utopia was planned for them as well.

Memorial do Convento is a romance too, and that part I don’t think is quite as relevant for this rant – although, I do recommend reading it, the main lady is clairvoyant? I think? She can magically see people’s true nature and it hurts her…? It’s been a while, okay. I only mention the romance to say that the book ends in tragedy.

The ending is tragic, as was the life of those anonymous people at a time when the stake was the punishment by divine decree, but fundamentally, by the will of greedy, pretentious and powerful men.

The fate of the twins is probably tragic too. Walking off into the Steppe in the Nocturnal ending to die, left behind by the Kains to wallow and mourn in the Diurnal ending. I have hopes for both of them, we can headcanon and write fic to fix just about anything. Or perhaps the appeal of the game is that nothing happens afterwards, that it’s a game so the lives and dreams and plans of these characters end when you finish it. Personally, I think that’s a little sad too.

my interpretation of andrey and peter's creative process, what it represents and the role they each occupy within the utopian faction is a direct a result of me reading memorial do convento in school thanks professora sandra

[honeytea8]

✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀 

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe

[fantastic-bby]

GOT7 vs. fights with their s/o

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: -

Requested: yes 

Masterlist 

Jaebeom

Welcome to Ahgases’ best friend Jaebeom. I feel like in a fight, he probably would keep his cool. If it’s something small like a misunderstanding or maybe someone forgot to do the dishes, he might try and figure out a way to solve the issue without causing too much harm (no harm at all would be his preference). 

But! There’s a but. 

I would not want to make him mad. Everyone has a limit and honestly I feel like I’m scared of Jaebeom a lot. Personally, I feel like he’s more of the quiet angry and that gets him the ranking of 2 out of 7. Jaebeom would try to keep his mouth shut so he wouldn’t say anything that he would end up regretting, and he would also want to stop the fight as quickly as he can. 

Since he’s a leader, I feel like in big arguments his mind might immediately go to solve and settle. This man would probably argue with himself in his mind. If he disagrees with you, he would want to voice it out but he’d also want to say it in a calm manner that wouldn’t make the argument any worse. 

That’s the middle of the argument. If anyone of you would start crying, Jaebeom would immediately stop. That’s when he realises that the argument has either hit a nerve or has just gone on for too long. He would let out a heavy sigh, run a hand through his hair before turning to you.

“Can we put this on hold? Or at least just sit down and calm down for a second?” he would suggest. If you’re crying, you would just nod. But even then, if he was crying I think you would want everything to just stop as well. Jaebeom seems like it wouldn’t take him much before he’d realise that the both of you would need to take a step back and calm down. He would throw his pride and whatever ego he has out the window if it meant the two of you would stop fighting. 

Mark

Hah Ik LA gangster is an old joke, and I’m glad that it is. I’m pretty sure Mark’s managed to figure out a way to control his anger. I mean… he’s in a group that has BamBam and Yugyeom together… like… who wouldn’t lose their mind a little bit…? Anyways, small arguments would probably be him just quietly listening to you rant and vent. If he feels like there’s no point in arguing, he would just find a way to calm you down instead. 

If the argument escalates, he would most likely continue to try and stay calm. I feel like he would just stay quiet and think through his words as much as he can. If you were upset, Mark would want to say things that would calm you down. If he was upset, he would choose his words wisely. He’d want to get his point out there, but he wouldn’t want to hurt you. 

Now, big argument time. Say you’ve gotten past civil and it’s slowly turned into an argument where you can see a vein popping in his temple. I think Mark’s sense of composure would pretty much fly out the window if he gets really, really, upset. If you’re screaming, then he would, too. I feel like this would also have a lot to do with the fact that Mark’s more on the quiet side. 

He would end up voicing whatever he’s been holding in, yelling without much care of the neighbours hearing. Mark gets my ranking as 4 out of 7 in the scary ranking of GOT7. I would be scared of him but there’s more members I’m scared of. 

It might take a bit more for an argument to end compared to one with Jaebeom. It would most likely be crying but make it spicy before the both of you would realise you need to calm down. “Let’s put a pin in it, yeah?” he would say as calmly as he can with his arms open. It would take awhile before you can talk normally and more calmly, but when you do, Mark would most likely have managed to compose himself. He wouldn’t want to make you any more upset than you already are, so he would try and settle it after you’ve calmed down.

Jackson

Remember how I said I have more members I’m scared of? Surprisingly enough, Jackson’s number 3. He comes after Jaebeom, but he’s still scarier to me than Mark is. I just have this feeling that he gets scary when he gets angry. It’s mostly because Jackson doesn’t seem scared to voice out his opinions on things. This could probably be the reason why a fight would start in the first place.  

Jackson’s not scared of saying how he feels. He just lays it down. This would mean that in a fight, he would be blurting out whatever he feels on spot or what he thinks is right. I personally think that Jackson would be one of the hardest members to argue with because he would be arguing back with his entire might. 

I think he would be rationally calm if it’s a small argument, but a big one would bring out another side in him. Jackson would argue, and he would keep going if he feels like he’s not being heard. He may get overwhelmed. Let me clarify this again: this is how I see GOT7 in my mind and it’s not supposed to be an accurate portrayal of how the act IRL. Jackson just seems like the kind of person who might get carried away during an argument unintentionally. 

He’ll realise you need to stop when he accidentally steps into something sticky. Jackson might end up making you cry and that’s when he realises that he needs to stop yelling and start talking. He’ll sigh before sitting down—bed, couch, dining chair, ground, whatever—because he needs to cool down before he says anything else. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he’d apologise softly after a few minutes of silence between you two. “Let’s talk about this calmly, yeah?” Jackson…? Honestly…? With the way he portrays himself as such a loud and energetic person, I feel like he has a way of calming himself down really quickly in situations because he can’t show that he’s angry in public yk? I might be wrong about this (hhh I might be wrong about all of these). Carrying on, he would most definitely put you first. Jackson would want you to be okay before continuing with whatever caused the fight. 

Jinyoung

I present the man I’m the most scared of in GOT7. Now, it’s obvious that it would be Jinyoung. He’s a really scary motherfucker. The worst part is the fact that he’s one of the quieter ones which makes him seem even scarier to me. He seems like the kind of person who wouldn’t say anything if he was angry, but he would make it look like he’s trying to kill you with his eyes. 

If Jinyoung ever yelled at me I think I would burst into tears. But! He also doesn’t seem like a yeller. I think he would do very passive-aggressive, calm shots that would probably stab you in the heart. It would take a lot for him to yell at his partner, and it would have to be something that pushes him over his limit.

In any normal argument, he would have an icy edge to his tone when he’s fighting back, but he wouldn’t take it too far. In a BIG fight, he would probably be struggling to compose himself. If he’s full on yelling, then he’s gotta be seriously upset. Just trust not to make him really upset. Now, I think Jinyoung is less picky with his choice of words. He’s really blunt and he’s straightforward; if he wants to say something, he’ll say it right there. 

If it ends up hurting you more than he intended or more than he thought it would, all feelings of anger would most likely start to steam out of his body. Jinyoung’s mind is on the fact that he’s said something as mean as he did to you in your face. Regret would fill him immediately. 

In a situation like so, Jinyoung would contemplate going to you and hugging you or leaving you to have space. One side of him wants to comfort you because he’s your partner—he wants to be there for you—but the other side of him knows that he’s the reason you’re as upset as you are. He’ll know that you want him to hold you when you don’t move away when he moves towards you. Jinyoung’s arms would be around you and he would pull you into his chest, “let’s talk about this when we’re both calm.” 

Youngjae 

Youngjae ranks number 7. Idk he just seems really soft. I know that’s not a valid reason, but I’m not scared of Youngjae that much. If there was a fight and he got upset, I see him leaning towards more of a louder but still more composed kind of angry.

So, Youngjae seems like a little sensitive otter boy. It would be easier to make him more upset during an argument than the others, and because of this, he would also be more careful. I think he’d probably be one of the more likely to cry during an argument too (not a bad thing) he would just not know how to express himself properly. 

You know that feeling when you’re so overwhelmed with different emotions when you’re angry that you just can’t do anything but cry? I see that in Youngjae. It may be because I see him as more sensitive compared to the others because of how soft he is in my eyes. He would only yell if he’s really upset or if he feels like you’re not listening to him in the way he wants to be heard. 

Something else that I see in him is very frustrated unable-to-say-what’s-happening-on-his-mind. Youngjae’s hands would be moving all over the place to try and show what he wants to say or what he’s feeling. I think it would take the both of you to realise that you need to stop before you actually stop. I imagine that you seeing him stressed would make you even more stressed and Youngjae would get more stressed seeing you stressed. 

It would probably be in a silence where you’re just staring at each other before he sighs. “I don’t think it’s good that we continue this when we’re  angry.” Youngjae would take a moment to calm himself down before making sure that you’re calm. Only then will he suggest bringing up the topic again to try and settle it in a healthy and calm manner. 

BamBam 

Okay, BamBam’s number 6 on my list and for good reason. I feel like if I ever got into an argument with him, we’d both just yell at each other until someone else would stop the fight. He seems like the kind of person who would be pretty hard headed in an argument. This means that I’m less scared of him and more ready to beat him up.  

We all know the sheer amount of chaotic energy BamBam is able to release. Although I love him and his energy, I feel like there’s two sides of him that could happen. It’s either he’s the quiet angry or he’s the full blown yelling angry. I would imagine that if you two were fighting over something really big he might be really stubborn about it. I mean, the fight probably only got so big because you both have different views. 

I feel like if it’s something that he really very much disagrees with, he wouldn’t back down so easily. BamBam would make it obvious that he thinks the other way and that he wants to prove he’s right because he’s stubborn like that. I also think that for him, it takes more before he realises that he’s crossed a line. I think that might either be one of you storming out or just breaking down completely. 

If you storm out, it might take him a while before he realises what’s happening. Bam would most definitely chase after you once he does. He’s holding onto your wrist before you can even get any farther. “Look—let’s...calm down first,” he would shakily let out. BamBam would be scared of you leaving him on spot. The fact that he knows it’s because he’s stubborn might make him feel even worse. 

BamBam would gently guide you back into your apartment and sit you down. He would force himself to throw his pride out the window to make himself calm down before turning his attention to calming you down. 

Yugyeom

Yugyeom’s number 5 because even though the idea of an angry Yugs might be kinda scary, I’m still more scared of the other members than I am of him. He radiates energy that’s similar to Jinyoung’s, but I still wouldn’t be too scared of him. He seems like the kind of person who would be more on the quiet side and he would also use his body language to show how upset he is.

Though, I do see him as someone who would be more patient. It would take more before he would start yelling. He seems more of an almost aggressive kind of angry, but he wouldn’t be violent. Yugyeom would probably throw his arms around a lot to try and express himself, and he would just be muttering to himself in between arguments. 

I do see him as someone who would back down easily. If it’s something that he doesn’t think is worth fighting over, he would just agree with you without saying anything more. If it’s something that he thinks deserves more attention, his energy might end up fueling the fight without him knowing. Idk if this makes sense, but like when do I ever know how to describe things, right? 

Anyway, Yugyeom would be a mixture of Youngjae and Jinyoung but more mild, get what I mean? He would have the soft ‘lets not fight too much’ but he would also have the passive-aggressive ‘my way or the highway’ kinda thing. He probably would only stop if you cry or maybe if you get really, really upset. If he sees you getting too worked up, then he would stop the fight. 

“Baby, let’s take a break from this,” he would suggest softly. He doesn’t want you to actually catch on fire because I’m pretty sure he would actually be scared of you a little bit (let’s be honest here I’m pretty sure all 7 of them would be at least a bit scared of their partners). Yugyeom might just pull out something from the fridge like ice cream or a drink to help calm you down before sitting down and talking to you. 

[quillsink]

So, for everyone else I did this in anon, but for me they did without anon, and I got confuzzled, but I’m sticking to anon lmao.

Omg ink, I freaking love you so much (platonically) you are one of the nicest people I have ever met online. You’re always so sweet towards me, and yet you indulge just enough crazy from the both of us.

You’ve listened to me rant about my faves, or we’ve ranted together lmao. You writing is 👏 impeccable 👏 your incorrect quotes cheer me up on my lowest of days.

I associate you with regal animals, like deer and lions (lmao very different but almost the same!) you seem quite confident, even if you’re not feeling it personally, you’ve got a shine to you that draws people in!

Sending my loves and hugs 💛

Heya! You may have anon turned off so that’s why people are doing without it :)

AKSJDK ILY TOO ANON AKDJKSLAKSKF

Of course! I love listening to people rant about obscure stuff they like, because it shows me their passions and what they love, and it’s so fun to see someone so passionate!

LMAO YES PROBABLY ABOUT JOHN, ALEX OR THE FUCKING I N N A C U R A C Y OF THE MUSICAL

Aksjfjdkfk I’m glad you liked the incorrect quotes! I legit just see them floating around and try to fit them with the aides and I’m glad y’all like em <3 I AM HAMILTON I AM THE LITTLE LION LMAOOOO DUUUUDE 

OUI OUI MON AMI JE M’APPELLE PETIT LION

sorry lol

Ahhhh that’s so cool! I mostly am confident on here, because I can be who I am without people questioning. I love amrev? Sure, cool. I call dead people my children? Chill. I’m not straight? Who cares. I could be trans? Okay. It’s mostly irl that I’m not confident because, shitty parents, teachers hate me, trust issues etc. But I love that you guys can feel my confidence here because it’s the one place I am!

*aggressively hugs you through the screen*

Is this Bea? Bea I feel like this is you get over here is this you @critical-endangered

[handswritteeen]

(i actually used picrew for this because i didn’t have time to whip something up TT. here’s the link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1003923 by umasan_hi)

(for @witchhazelbazel​ ‘s oc event!!)

divine name: Lunaria

goes by Akari

age: some kind of old...

height: 5’1 (because irl I’m shorter, this gives me pride)

pairing: up to you haze!

moon archon, archon of darkness/shadows/solitude

Bio: Born out of the darkness of Celestia, Akari is the archon of the moon. Although she was born into a family of immortals, she is one of the remaining archons originally from Celestia, along with her younger twin brother, Haruki. She did not take part in the archon war, seeing that her place in Celestia will not be taken away from her anytime soon. Mortals need the moon, nonetheless the waters must move somehow (which is why she doesn’t have a nation either).

Akari is quite a childish person when it comes to people she’s close to. While growing up, other archons chose to not take her seriously for the way she carelessly walked among mortals. However, she is respected among some adepti and archons for her skill in battle, wielding a sword crafted from blue moon dust (nothing special, just something random) and crystal cores. Her battle style consists of flips and tricks, quite agile moves and skills. Technically, Akari can manipulate ‘dark magic’ (I haven’t really developed this), but can use any of the elements to her will (usually doesn’t, not that necessary for her though). And of course, her abilities become stronger under moonlight.

Akari would usually roam around the mortal world, either visiting other archon’s nations or just wandering around. Mortals have piqued her interest and Celestia seems to have bored her. Her brother detests her love for mortals, saying that they are feebly souls with a weak body.

Personality: Quite intimidating at first; a glance at her would usually leave you in a stare. She’s actually talkative if you were to walk up to her and ask her something; after getting close, she’s willing to open up. Maybe a bit protective of some things.

Companions of Akari are always in the best care. She’s protective, she’ll look out for you whenever she can. She’s lost many, but none have been as close as others. Getting hurt in the end isn’t her biggest concern.

Values: friendships/relationships, gifts from anyone and everyone

Likes: cats, tends to pet them around Liyue; seelies; hydro slimes; has a thing for Diluc’s dandelion wine; guys with long hair 🤤

Dislikes: formalities, having to actually navigate to certain places, stuck-ups; cicin mages

little short story between why the twins hate each other:

Lunaria and Aelius (Haruki’s divine name) were seen as the next most powerful archons to descend from Celestia. Although Akari tends to wander around mortals and hang out with them, Haruki keeps track of his older twin sister out of spite. Akari started to become more and more distant as others in Celestia had become more uptight and formal. Haruki holds the position of a prime example to all archons, a prim and proper star (except Barbatos thinks he’s a total stuck-up). Awhile after the archon war, Akari started to get closer to a human. A mortal that had the same eyes that reflected the sky and the personality of a protective hawk (he was a very pretty mortal, according to Akari). Haruki was not at all fond of this mortal, simply because it was a mortal after all.

One night, after Akari had stayed awhile with the mortal, she made her way back to the home her brother and her shared. She came back to Haruki scolding, shouting, and pure anger being thrown at her. Haruki didn’t understand why his sister was so carefree, why she was so unbound to immortal chains, how could she trust someone so,, easily? He just didn’t understand. What was so special about mortals? Akari stormed out that night and held hands with her favorite mortal under a blue moon. She didn’t face Haruki for a thousand years, but of course, as time passed, so did her favorite mortal; moving on was just a tedious task at this point.

Eventually, Akari waltzed back home to Haruki, only to be surprised with a mortal women clinging to his side, pushing her breasts beside his arm. The look on his face was pure smitten, the sun archon was absolutely whipped for a mortal. A mortal. As surprised as she was, she greeted Haruki with open arms and apologized for her absence. Haruki was quite monotone towards his sister’s presence but introduced the mortal, Ayano. She had long, purple hair and bright brown doe eyes. Akari sensed that this mortal was after something else, as Ayano smirked and a mischievous glint in her eyes appeared after she had looked at the archon.

Ayano appeared around Haruki almost all the time, always clinging to his side, giggling and kissing his cheek (making the younger twin extremely flustered). Once upon a night, Akari was up late, watching Mondstadt’s winds from above. She heard footsteps stumbling around her brother’s bedroom; prying the door open, she saw Ayano hovering over Haruki, her hand right on his chest, chanting something, like a spell. Ayano’s hand glowed, but then she suddenly stopped after feeling the presence of a figure. Akari had already left the house in search of Morax and Xiao.

Sitting in front of them with a cup of tea in hand, she recalled her sightings to the archon and adeptus, voicing her concerns out of panic.

“She’s trying to steal his gnoses, I know it! that spell she was chanting is supposed to reveal the gnosis right in front of her!”

“Did she finish the spell?” Xiao bluntly asked.

“..No. I think she heard me leaving and stopped.”

“So you have yet to confront her, hm?” Morax hummed.

Akari held her chin up high and nodded. “She’s after his power, nothing else.”

And with that, she left her teacup on the table and rushed home with the thought of exposing Ayano’s facade.

By the time she got there, she found them sitting on the couch, all over each other.

“Ahem.” She coughed into her fist.

“O-oh! You’re back.” Haruki pointed out, pushing Ayano softly aside. Ayano huffed and puffed her cheeks out.

“I need to talk to you, little brother.”

Haruki stayed silent and got off the couch, making his was behind his twin to another room.

“Ayano is not here for you. She doesn’t love you at all. She’s here for power.” Akari explained, crossing her arms.

“What makes you think that? She’s everything I’ve ever wanted! She loves me!” Haruki argued.

“Oh please, I saw her chanting a spell on you last night! Right under the moon!”

“And? She was probably just healing some injuries throughout the night!”

“Healing spells don’t require intricate chanting! The spell she used revealed your gnoses! I saw it with my own eyes!”

“Akari, that woman loves me. You’ve always had this stupid, carefreeness, that I never got! You have everything! Let me have this woman’s heart as she does mine! You once loved a mortal, no? How did that go for you?” Haruki glared at her and pushed her shoulder aside and walked back out to Ayano.

Feeling defeated, Akari made her way to Barbatos, chugging down a bottle of the Ragvindr’s wonderful wine. Akari and Haruki don’t speak for just a couple of weeks.

A disturbance in the Sun’s cycle causes Akari to trudge home with regret.

“It’s the middle of a hot summer and your sun has shined for too long-“ Akari opened the door, sighing, only to see a knife with bright carvings pointed to Haruki’s Adam’s apple.

“Oh? Getting kinky in my home, I see.” Akari smirks. “I didn’t know you were the one to enjoy being subdued, little brother.”

“A-akari, please,,” He shuddered.

“Another word and I think we’ll be done here,” Ayano muttered. “For the archon who controls the sun, you’re so weak for lovely people like me, hm? How simple.”

“Oh please, you took the easy way and had him when he was vulnerable, human. Don’t pride yourself,” Akari rolled her eyes and walked towards the two on the ground. “I doubt you can even wield a gnoses to your favor,”

Ayano growled and plunged her hand into Haruki’s chest. Haruki wailed in pain, Akari stood aside, watching the fiasco go down.

Lifting up the glowing white gnoses, Ayano laughed.

“Watch me, it shouldn’t even be that hard!”

“W-wait, Ayano, you can’t! Y-you’ll-“

“Be quiet brother, let her figure it out, she’s gotten this far, she should know.” Akari watched as Ayano tried to resonate with the gnoses, slowly consuming it with some unknown magic.

“Oh, a witch? You fell in love with a witch? What a surprise!”

“Akari! My gnoses!”

“Maybe you’ll be fine without it.”

“Please!”

Akari turned her attention back to Ayano, who was began to cry out from the power the gnoses held. Akari pushed Ayano off of her brother’s lap and grabbed the gnoses from in between her hands, tossing it to her brother and pinning Ayano down.

“I’ll lock you in the depths of shadows forever,” Akari muttered.

“I’d like to see you try!” Ayano spat in her face.

Suddenly, a bright light blinded the both of them. Akari was pushed back onto the floor, while Ayano was chained with some kind of heavenly material.

“Get out. You have no place in Celestia, nor the mortal world, human. May you wander around light.” Haruki spoke up, his white hair, black cowlick on the top of his head, and red eyes glowing.

Akari brushed her hair aside, sighing as Ayano’s body dissipated, her screams fading into the light.

“Hey-“

“Get out.” Haruki said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Get out. You have no place here.”

“Excuse me? I basically saved your life-“

“JUST LEAVE!” He shouted, turning away from Akari’s face.

And with that, the twins have yet to face each other. The sun and moon still switch places in the sky, yet there is an ominous force that made it seem different than before. Akari goes to Morax after that night, groaning in despair and ranting about her idiot younger brother. Barbatos has heard the story enough to recite a song about it, the tale of a split moon and sun. Xiao has the urge to bring his spear up to Haruki’s neck and make him explain for such foolish actions.

Akari’s love for mortals waver, as her broken relationship with her brother has changed forever. Until, one day, a bright, yellow star falls towards the outskirts of Mondstadt, a traveler of the prophecy will appear.