#comships are weclome

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before reading please know this is from experience and i am NOT dictating everyones experience, i am just ranting about bad instances about privilege/bad therapists/therapy, so before you comment (and ill know if youve read this at all by your comment = blocking) please read the four points!

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THIS. i see antis all the time get their thong in a twist because people ship stuff they want to (that the anti doesnt agree with). and they usually follow up with a ‘kys’ or ‘get therapy!’ like, first all. therapy is NOT cheap, and no, online ‘free’ therapy isnt good either. it takes a LOT of work to find a therapist WITHIN price range AND actually agrees/supports/is okay with you as their client + that you even get to the point (which would be months or even years) being comfortable enough to tell them this stuff anyways without the fear of them insta reporting you and hauling your butt off to the ward (happened to me almost three times, two worked..).

as someone whos experienced bad stuff growing up, ive been to therapy for almost a decade now and let me tell you four things ive run into..

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1• you have to pay a lot for these people. my therapist + med doctor NOW, costs about 2-300$ a visit, AND THATS PER (separate) PERSON, not two people in one visit. and this is out of our insurance (doctor recommended). but not everyone who goes to therapy has really good insurance/insurance at all, therefore cannot go because its too expensive + its a very priveleged thing to say ‘instead of projecting your trauma in a normal (or even non-normal) way through comships/proships FOR FREE (without it causing harm to yourself/others) go pay HUNDREDS of dollars because thats mainstream/it worked for me!!’ like do you hear yourself,????? everyone is different and no two traumas are alike, and even if once in a blue moon they ARE very similar, two seperate individuals can cope with that similar experience in ENTIRELY different directions/ways… anyways, you may say, ‘why not go to a person in your insurance’ you ask? I HAVE. many times. which brings me to number two.

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2• bad therapists. listen, cheap isnt always better. ive had therapists make me pay my entire 30$ BEFORE the session starts, then cut me off around 30/40 minutes in (mid session/even mid talking) (they lasted an hour/hour and a half typically). cheaper therapists/local therapists that arent connected through doctor recommendations are not usually the best imo, along with ive heard really bad stuff about the free ones online + new psych students treating patients like guinea pigs/other issues..

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3• they dont like you. listen, this is not the case EVERY time, but from experience, every therapist ive seen/talked too (about 10 of them now) has disagreed with me on my OWN viewpoint of my toxic household. but you may say, ‘oh but theyre allowed to disagree?’ yes! they can! but you cant be disagreeing about my abuser not being the issue and I am the issue instead (wacko). most (not all) therapists treat it as their job, and you as their customer. yes, some people have really good relationships with their therapist, but please dont think for one second they wont report you + say some out of pocket stuff because theyre the ‘experienced one’ (trust me, its as rude irl as it sounds).

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4• what ‘tools’ they use/let you talk about SUCK. my newer therapist, granted, isnt the best but its all i have rn, doesnt personally let me vent or talk about my childhood trauma/stuff that actually bothers me. its always “catch me up since weve last talked” and thats it. always the same thing.. along with that, they give you packets about journaling your feelings, and someone who cannot just ‘breathe and count to ten to feel better’ these packets are genuinely useless and i usually dont do them. most therapists have a very basic and general approach to these intense things (especially neurotypical therapists) because they have the mindset of: A) works 9/10 times but if not, B) is the next best thing. and most times they dont actually get to know their patient outside of friendly conversation/med records..

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if anyone stayed for the entire rant thank you lolz, it was a huge thing to get off my chest but it seriously irks me that, again, antis actually just look at surface level things within communities instead of actually hearing people who belong in this (and other) communities, then without a thought they deem it ‘problematic’, and spread mis-info and demonize the people doing it.

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TYSM FOR STAYING HAVE A COOKIE IF YOU READ IT ALL 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 ILY ALL!!!

"you need to go to therapy" no thank you, fictional incest is cheaper