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night time sucks because you’re always a little 1. horny 2. sad 3. overthinking 4. wanting someone

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“My child turned out fine.”

“Ma’am. Your daughter wants to be stalked, kidnapped, and violently fucked. In that order.”

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“In the words of Mark Twain’s wife, Shania Twain, ‘that don’t impress me much’”

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I believe in virginity more as a toy that makes me hard than an actual real concept with any weight behind it

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I want to tie him up, put a pillow between his legs,

and tell him to show me how needy he really is.

Make him hump it like it’s me,

pathetic little thrusts and whimpers and drool on the sheets.

Then leave him there.

Hard. Leaking. Denied.

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Voice kink voice kink voice kink

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btw if you have ever fantasized about me you have to tell me exactly what happened. in excrutiating detail. no you dont have a choice.

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penis checkpoint! give it a few pumps soldier

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Reblog this to tell prev to touch themselves

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i may not be the prettiest or the smartest or the funniest but i sure am the sleepiest

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grabbing your dick and giving it a firm handshake so it knows i mean business

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Call me a Dyson vacuum the way I wanna suck it

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More fat people in sex and pirn but not in a fetish way, in a these are normal people with normal bodies way

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I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

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