#but there is a social horror to experiencing attraction

[fiestylittlebeetle]

Weird take

But one of the main reasons I made malware be alloromantic and allosexual in the context of the recovery arch is there's something very specifically torturous about constantly being socially neglected, and ostracized while still being capable of experiencing attraction.

Like I think he largely didn't pay attention to those kinds of feelings during his years long rampage (but still had inklings of feelings towards khyber that bled into his post coma self that made it hurt more when he got ditched)

Now in his new life he has to actually confront his attraction, and desire to be with someone. It annoys him too cause like, sometimes having to confront a romantic inclination is terrifying especially if you don't know how to properly express it.

[grazi-your-rockette-queen]

This is a scenario I like to play in my head lol: you meet a dorky Kirk and hit it off immediately. He acts cute and shy which draws you in. One way or another you end up in his room where he’s pretty much a freak in the sheets kinda guy💀but still very sweet afterwards

omg sooo i love this sm. i have to admit i’m a little bit of a perfectionist and i really hope this is close to what you imagine but omg i feel u. i literally love himmm. also i kinda suck at beginnings so bear w me 🙏 (i also accidentally deleted the first half when i was almost finished and had to rewrite the whole beginning 🥰)

this is gonna be long so prepare urself babes

sweet but psycho- kirk hammett

you were at a get together that your cousin had dragged you to, something relating to this band that he was a roadie for. he had decided you needed to get out more, and that it was a good opportunity for you to socialize. it wasn’t necessarily your scene, denim and patches galore, but you fit in alright. it wasn’t too much fun for you though, there were drinks and a few guys attempting to make conversation, but none were interesting or attractive enough to capture your attention. you decided to head into the living room of whoever’s house it was, and sit yourself down on one of the two couches, beer in hand. you took a swig from the bottle before noticing the curly haired, leather jacket wearing metalhead sitting on the other couch. he must’ve noticed you, as he was staring shyly through big brown eyes shielded partially by bangs. he matched the vibe of the other people in the house, only he stood out for some reason. he wasn’t actively getting drunk and acting mad, instead he was sitting quietly with a beer and a magazine of some sort. he smiled at you subtly, and you returned the smile with a little,

“hi.” and it was history from then on, once you noticed the magazine he had was not any regular magazine, but one you’d never seen or heard of before, having to do with some sort of horror element. before you knew it, you’d moved to sit next to him and the two of you began talking about just what got you into this get together. his individuality intrigued you, though he partially resembled many other people at the event, he didn’t act like any of them in the slightest. he was calm, quiet. it was not a thing you’d experienced with anyone your cousin had introduced you to in this specific music scene, but you enjoyed talking to him.

“oh, i can’t believe i forgot to ask your name?” you brought your hand up to your forehead in slight disbelief, you’d been so easily distracted by the boy’s actions that you hadn’t thought about his name at all. 

“i’m kirk, and you?”

“kirk. my name is y/n.” your lips curving into a smile. he too was smiling, you noticed his teeth were certainly crooked, but as a first, you almost found it cute. you were mesmerized by everything you perceived kirk as, the way he seemed to prefer his own quiet company over other people’s attention, the way he was so incredibly easy to talk to. and he was very sweet.

it got to be very late, and you’d been talking for hours before you realized it was past midnight and you should be getting home. it occurred to you’d driven your cousin in your car, and you hadn’t seen him in a while. you let kirk know that you had to leave before blowing him a little kiss, which he blushed at. you waved to him and stood up, asking around for your cousin, and a small crowd of people said that he’d left with someone and they were supposed to tell you. you shrugged and walked towards the door, but you stopped in your tracks, remembering that you had wanted to give kirk your phone number. you searched for a piece of paper or anything you could write on, coincidentally bumping into kirk in the kitchen while he was looking for another drink. he smiled and you both laughed a little, and you told him you’d wanted to give him your number. his eyes lighted up and his smile grew wider, he contained his excitement and just said,

“ok!” in a soft voice. as the both of you looked for a pen and paper, you asked what his plans were for the rest of the night.

“uh, i’m not really sure. i’m here with the rest of the band, we might get back to the studio, we might go home, god knows, really. all i know is i’m tired.” he chuckled at the last bit, rubbing his eyes.

“i could give you a ride home, if you want.” you offered in a quiet voice, it being the first thing you thought of. he looked back at you,

“yeah, sure, i’d like that.” he agreed.

“i probably have sticky notes in my car or something. just remind me about it.” he nodded and followed close behind you out the front door of the house, making your way through a mixture of drunken party goers. by the time you were on the front porch, you looked back to make sure he was still behind you. you owe him to your car and you both got in, backing out of the crowded front lawn. you drove him to the house he lived in with the rest of the band, and parked in the driveway. you remembered to look for sticky notes in your car, while you were frantically doing so, kirk suddenly grabbed your hand. you looked up at him,

“y/n… would you, um, come in with me?” he asked with a red hot face, looking into your eyes. you hesitantly but happily agreed. he opened the car door for you, and walked you inside the house.

“you live here with all your band? is it fun?”

“most of the time it’s not bad. it’s just us, y’know.” he held your hand as the two of you walked upstairs, the tension temporarily going unacknowledged, until you got to his bedroom. the two of you stopped talking, only becoming lost in each others eyes as your bodies slowly inched closer to one another. he held you by the hips, and with your lips being mere centimeters apart, he whispered,

“can i kiss you?” you nodded almost unnoticeably before colliding your lips with his in a swift, soft kiss that would evolve to be heated and intense. it was seconds before he had his jacket and shirt off, joining your own on the floor by his bed. he laid you down and met you on his bed, reconnecting your mouths again, and he started to move his hands down your half dressed body, starting at moving up your torso, to your chest.

“can i take this off?” he asked, between kisses and heavy breaths. you nodded once again and lifted yourself up off the bed enough for him to reach behind your back and unclasp your bra. you helped him remove it from your arms, letting it fall off the side of the bed. he let away from the kiss to admire the view of the top half of your body underneath him, eyes darkened with lust, breathing slow and loud as he cupped one of your tits with his hand, running his thumb over your nipple. you gasped at the movement, watching him. he continued kissing you again, and began moving down to your neck and collarbone, starting to suck and bite, leaving dark spots there. you ran a hand through his soft hair, moaning softly. he kissed a line from your neck to the waistline of your bottoms, and only looked up at you for approval to take off your shorts, which you granted. he hooked his fingers on your shorts and pulled them down with your panties, leaving him facing your dampening pussy. he was nearly drooling at the sight, not bothering to resist running a finger through your folds to check just how wet you were. as he did so, you gasped again, and felt the bulge in his jeans twitch against your leg. he drew the finger up to his mouth to taste your arousal, eagerly licking it clean before grabbing onto your legs, spreading them apart and licking a thick stripe up your slick cunt, causing you to let out a loud sigh. he continued eating your pussy messily, licking and sucking for his life. he alternated from sticking his tongue in and out of your hole and sucking on your clit. you kept both your hands tangled in his hair, mewling and starting to occasionally buck your hips to his face, and he started slowly grinding up against the mattress.

“kirk! i’m going to-”

“come on my tongue baby, you got it.” and you did, with a loud moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head. he was quick to lap up all of your cum from between your thighs as you panted. you grabbed onto his hair, pulling it so that he would look up at you, he moaned at the pressure, obeying the action and looking up at you, cum still dripping down from his chin.

“i want more, please?” he didn’t waste time making his way back up to meet your lips with his, allowing you to taste yourself on him. he hastily made an effort to undo his jeans and pull out his dick, and shift so that he can like himself up with your entrance, teasing your clit with his tip.

“this good baby?”

“yes, please kirk?” you whined, shutting your eyes tightly at the sensation of his hard cock being pushed into your warm, wet pussy. kirk’s eyes fluttered shut and his lips parted, a soft groan being drawn from his lips before he started moving hollowly. you continued whining and moaning, kirk moved down closer to you again to lick all over the little bruises he’d left on your collarbone previously, moving down to your tits to grab one and lick your nipple before taking as much as he could in his mouth, starting to thrust deeper and faster. your hands left his hair and one grabbed onto his hand as he started rubbing your clit in tight circles, causing you to gasp and moan loudly even more from the feeling of overstimulation.

“mnh, kirk! i’m- i’m-ahh” you were unable to finish any coherent sentence, only whines and cries of pleasure made it out between your lips.

“i know baby, i’m gonna cum soon, you feel so good.” he groaned loudly, still keeping his attention on your chest and moving up again to kiss you deeply, picking up his speed even more as his hips began to stutter. you came for the second time, walls contracting tightly around his twitching dick. he pulled out, giving his cum coated cock a few pumps before releasing onto your chest and stomach with another groan. he exhaled, then slumped down next to you on the bed, both of you breathing heavily.

“oh my fucking god!” you exclaimed as soon as your breath was caught, “that was… amazing.” you shut your eyes and smiled, leaning against kirk’s shoulder. he smiled and laughed softly.

“i did not expect any of that at all.” your words were drawn out and tired, as you were struggling to keep your eyes open.

“so it was good?”

“yes it was good!!” you looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a thrilled smile. he smiled proudly and kissed you once more.

“good.”

[an-angelstears]

this is real, not acting ...

fate . you and your co-star, satoru gojo, start to feel something real ... and NOT for a movie !

the demon (warnings/contents) . [ part 1 , sfw ]

the angel (pairings) . satoru gojo x gn!reader

you were a famous actress/actor, mainly starring in horror or action movies. you gained a lot of fame after one particular action movie with a hint of horror where you had to fight aliens and such.

you were known as the attractive actress/actor that played one of the main characters in the show; and especially for how badass the character was portrayed. this obviously opened a bunch of doors of opportunities, and your manager suggested that you try other movie genres—like drama or ‘rom com’s.

you of course accepted, seeking to climb up the metaphorical stairs of the entertainment industry. even though you were much more experienced with action movies—maybe trying a bit of lovey dovey and stepping out of your comfort zone is a necessary step to make your name boom! on social media.

so, you auditioned for romance-type movies. at first, all the recruiters were confused. what was an action star doing in a romance audition? but after a few auditions, you finally got accepted into a rom-com titled ‘Changed Me’, with you being the main character’s love interest.

the story was simple; the main character was a normal highschool kid who was burnt out from school and from lack of money. after meeting a bubbly person who was rich, said person fell in love with him and the main character intended to use them for money at first, but then also fell in love over time.

the story was simple, yeah. but it was going to get carried by satoru gojo anyway. oh, and speaking of satoru gojo..

when you checked who the main character was, it was the legendary, mighty, strong, famous, steal-your-girl-and-man actor, satoru gojo. this is insane. how are you going to film your first rom-com with a professional romance actor with years of experience? well, just try your best, i guess..

it was time to film the first scene of the movie, which was satoru gojo’s character introduction. but you still wanted to watch him work since you were a complete beginner in these types of movies. all that you know is that it’s just like acting in action movies but you gotta hold back cracking a smile when you get too flustered.

seems simple enough..

you watch satoru gojo intently, watching how he keeps the ‘slice of life’ vibes in every scene with his humor, dialogue, and of course, looks. he looked calm and happy while being quiet, since he will be narrating the dialogue later anyway.

after he filmed his scenes, you then go on to observe him narrating his lines. his cocky, but still manly voice fits his character so well.

“so, yeah, this is my morning routine.. just wake up, go to school, do homework, and go to bed.. add in a bit of eating, drinking..” he mutters against the microphone, adding in a little defeated sigh to show that the main character is not satisfied with his current life.

damn, you thought. that was hella easy. it wasn’t your first time being introduced to scenes where they feel a little comedic—but it actually holds a deeper meaning. like in this one, satoru’s character is trying to play it off with a little bit of a joyful tone, but the dialogue itself plus the defeated sigh shows that he’s clearly not well.

then, the scene just switches to some comedic thing where the main character falls off of his bed trying to get up for school, with satoru muttering a little “augh.. that hurt..”

..maybe you were overanalyzing this?

maybe it was just a comedy scene, and not like those deep, emotional scenes hidden behind a comedic feeling—like what was usually present in your past movies.

right, past movies. plan a; forget about them.

well, not straight up forget about them and everything you’ve learned. forget about the usual formula, since this obviously isn’t accurate with this movie you were gonna act in.

from what you remember, there’s rarely any slice of life things with action movies unless it’s a jackie-chan (not sponsored) movie—with comedy, of course, and other comedy related action movies.

so, when a couple of days passed by, and it was your character’s first introduction in the movie, you knew you were fucked.

“okay, and.. action!”

your heart raced. the scene was very simple; you were just going to bump into the main character and introduce yourself. haha, easy, right?

but not when you keep accidentally staring at satoru gojo for too long, making the scene too awkward and you both having to restart it.

“why did you even bring a romance rookie over?” you hear satoru gojo whispering to the recruiter, making your heart drop. your first impression for this very experienced actor now just got buried in the ground.

“alright, mr. gojo, y/n, come on.” the director calls, ready to restart the scene.

after hearing that whisper, you really wanted to impress him for some reason. so when the scene played, you pretended to look at something in the distance—mimicking someone who is zoning out.

« just make sure to not actually fall when you feel satoru gojo bump into you. » you thought to yourself.

so when you feel a rather muscular build colliding with you, you pretend to fall, your books (props) falling on the ground. you look up to see satoru gojo, making sure not to stare too long.

“hey! watch where you’re going!” you scoff, picking up your books.

meanwhile, satoru seemed impressed. you were just stuttering over your lines a minute ago. “sorry,” he muttered, crouching to help you pick up your books.

bite back your smile.

it seemed impossible. how could you even get charmed just by this? he’s just acting! this isn’t real..

“cut!”

[the-lonelyshepherd]

"fanon lottienatters please stay away from me" oh!! shots fired!! 2,000 dead, 10,000 injured!! BUT curious about your specific definition for fanon lottienat and what you dislike about it <33

ohhhhh okay... alrrrrrr

this is like. one of my biggest issues. im not like a shipper, never rlly have been until yj but i dont like engage in discourse bc thats stupid.

But basically? Fanon lottienat just kinda strips anything thats interesting about the ship away. and makes it like. punk x preppy. loser x popular. ive even heard black cat and golden retriever which makes me want to rip my eyes out.

And its not even accurate to their characterization? at all? like youre flanderizing them but like..... not even their main traits. like ive seen people say "precrash lottie would be like charlotte from status update (curse that movie btw. the things i do for u courtney eaton) which is just. like not at all.

first off lottie is not popular. yeah, shes rich, but shes clearly somewhat of a loner (WHICH PARALLELS NAT?? WHICH MAKES IT MORE INTERESTING???) even courtney has said this in interviews. she feels ostracized, and a lot of it can be traced back to the flashback scenes we see, esp those about her relationship w her parents and her supposed mental illness. the 90s, especially the 90s in a high pressure rich family, was NOT a good place to have schizophrenia (and yeah theres the "she wasnt actually mentally ill" argument but that changes nothing because atp in the story her whole family and probably herself believed she was.

Then we have the nat characterization. The fanon "grumpy" to fanon lotties "sunshine". guys canonically nat smiles more than lottie. girlie was always grinning while lottie was experiencing the horrors all of s1. ofc they both went THROUGH it but that specific stereotype pissed me off sm i had to address it.

also, nat gets shown a lot as masc?? which is a fine headcanon but like for her style like the whole punk thing? she acc dresses relatively femininely.those are little irks abt nat but they bother me idc. too tired to write more on this rn but feel free to ask!

so basically taking this stuff into account - fanon lottienat uses a gross mischaracterization of both characters, especially lottie (also that suspiciously align w stereotypes HMMMMM) to literally make the ship more boring. You are making it a stupid and lame trope. You literally have these two insanely complex characters who mirror each other. Theyre not opposites attract, they are the same character in different skins. They're both loners, one because of her punk/rebel nature and nasty rumors, the other because of her mental illness and lack of closeness to people. Theyre both loners because of their social status and their fucked up home life. Theyre both providers - nat the hunter, bringer of physical and real food like the deer. Lottie the prophet, bringer of hope and, through the teams eyes, the birds, the bear, etc. Lottie who begs to be a martyr but is denied nat who runs from it but shoulders it anyways. They're both bleeding hearts they both give soul to the team and are some of the most genuine characters but they present it so differently.

The fact that the majority of content grossly mischaracterizes them and is the widely accepted fanon just.. sucks tbh. and the fact that people get so up in arms about them, and literally attack fans of other characters (lottielee fans... travis fans....) for no reason?? all these other characters do is contribute to what makes lottienat such a compelling and fucked up and interesting ship. i love them so much but lwk most of yall are insane and dont even appreciate them for what they really are.

thoughts questions comments concerns hmu

[leprosycock]

hello Chai, hope you're having a lovely day. do you have any Lolita hot takes you would like to share with the humble and sensitive readers of your blog?

it’s difficult to voice any lolita takes that haven’t been reiterated by more seasoned/well-read readers, but i suppose what i would say is that it feels disingenuous and intellectually dishonest to claim that lolita in its entirety is literally and entirely about Pedophilia Bad. like. yeah. we get it. dolores suffers from her sex trauma and emotional manipulation and how it shapes her and her life. yes. we get it. that’s the point. “ohhh but he’s an unreliable narrator so he’s saying that she LIKES it but she doesn’t REALLY” yes you fucking idiot obviously. all the surface-level takes about lolita really undermine the intricacies and the subtleties in the text. humbert in and of himself isn’t exactly a villain. if he was, he wouldn’t present himself so sympathetically. you know about his favorite drink, his favorite foods, his fashion sense, his voice, his taste for music, his taste in art, his fragile ego, his thirst for knowledge and his delight in tormenting psychiatrists—so on and so forth. he is a bad person, he is a sick person, and he is the entire antithesis for dolores’ character, who is insulated and bright and friendly and snarky and loves to draw attention to herself because all she knows is what she wants out of life and how she thinks she can get it as someone with little to no power. humbert is her polar opposite. he is the old to her young, the hermit to her social butterfly, the promiscuous to his reserved. they are polar entities and polar character studies. you are meant to have a certain level of empathy with humbert and what has made him the person that he is because, otherwise, lolita wouldn’t hit so hard. if we all collectively character about a fully-fleshed girl getting attracted by a faceless killer, b-list horror movies wouldn’t be bargain bin slop. true crime would be kinder to its victims. humbert needs to be a boy hidden inside a man and a rationalization for a man who has also experienced csa. he is not meant to be written off entirely. it does a disservice to how multifaceted lolita is as a project and how much is hidden in between the lines. these characters are much bigger than people want to admit. those are my hot takes i suppose

[callofdudes]

Dropping all my AU thoughts on you. (Lovingly) pt1??

Hunger Games AU: All of 141 bring previous victors from their games who find solace with each other in the capital. Would go through what they experienced in their individual games and how they won. But when the victors face off comes they all have to work together to end the games permanently.

Skyrim AU: Ghost works with the Dark Brotherhood. Johnny is 1000% a Companion. Gaz is a bard who is also attending the College of Winterhold to become a mage. Price is either a leader of the Companions, or he's a captain of the Imperial Guard. Don't exactly have a proper plot. And Gaz is obviously a redguard. Price is definitely a Nord. John is probably a mix of either Breton and Nord or something. It just makes sense. And Ghost is an Imperial. It just makes sense and I can't explain why!

Or, another Skyrim idea: Johnny as the dragonborn and Simon as a Daedric Prince of Akotosh who chooses to serve Johnny after doubting Alduin's reign.

Transformers AU: It could go either way, I envision it with Ghost as a Tranformer. He's the last of his squad who escaped captivity (I hope you catch on) and is sent to earth to protect Intel and find a place to stay. Runs into the annoying Scottish mechanic when his paint is dinged up. Or Simon as the angry mechanic who does not want to fix this alien thing that keeps yapping all day.

Rise of the Guardians AU: All the characters are there. If Y/n was present in this I'd make Ghost the angry easter Bunny who "hates his job". But if they weren't he's hands down Jack Frost. Sorry. Gaz can be Sandy (sandman) we all know who Price is, and Johnny can be the tooth fairy. If you know why, you know why.

Obviously a httyd AU: because everyone needs one. I'm already conjuring up things for Ghost's backstory it's insane.

Gaming AU: Price is a moderator for a large gaming community channel and streaming platform. He greenlights a lot of games that go through and plays them occasionally. RDR games and those likes. Johnny and Gaz definitely play the sims together. They'd play those games like Lethal Company and such. They try to play horror games but it doesn't always go well. Simon, (known to fans as Ghost) wears his mask or has one of those cool avatars. Plays horror games religiously and first person shooters which has attracted a glamorized following. Friends with Price and that's how he ended up getting together in the streaming group with Gaz and Johnny. They're annoying, but ok, they're cool.

Assassin's Creed AU: I've been working slowly on this for a while but Johnny as a sword/bow for hire whose work has slowed in the city he's at. So he packs up with friend Gaz who is going to a different city to study as a medic. Price is probably the king of said place. (I'm thinking of setting up in Greece or we're going to old Britain.) And Ghost is our famous assassin. And they meet and some stuff happens!

Not sure what to call this one (AU) As a young kid Johnny was diagnosed with ADHD and went to weekly day camp for kids like him. It wasn't particularly boring and Johnny had lots of fun. Until a new kid who is very socially awkward and reclusive starts coming. He's quiet and fidgety and doesn't make much eye contact. Johnny wants to be his friend. The story where Autistic Simon and ADHD Johnny become inseparable childhood friends.

Winged AU. I did a little thing on this a couple months ago. Some 30% of the popular are born with wings. Johnny is one of them. He's incredibly proud of his wings and it gives him some advantages and disadvantages in the military. Simon seems to hate Johnny for the sake of it. But every time Simon sees John's wings, he remembers the scars on his back and the pain of when his wings were torn off...

[thedraconiclibrary]

Books with no romance

Today is Valentine’s Day, which is great for some but terrible for others. While I enjoy a good fictional romance, this post goes out to all my aromantics, those uninterested in any romantic relationships right now, those who want but don’t have any relationships, and those who just like reading books with no romance in them! Behold, the books/series I’ve read and would recommend to others that feature no romance.

Quick disclaimer: This is not a list of books with aromantic characters. As in, I did not make this list by determining if the books describe the main characters as aromantic or if they lack romantic attraction, they’re just books that happen to not have romance in them. I haven’t read widely enough to make an aromantic rep recommendations list, but plenty of other people have!

Now, without further ado…

An Altar on the Village Green by Nathan Hall

Self-published adult fantasy horror - book 1 of an ongoing series but mostly works as a standalone

There’s so much raw humanity and tragedy but the MC keeps going anyway

Beautiful prose that I still wouldn’t describe as flowery. The author has worked as an editor for years and imo it shows, as I would’ve never guessed this was a debut

Partially inspired by Soulsborne games so if you like those then you’ll probably like this, but I also loved this book as someone who’s never played any of those games

Just a very dark and unique atmosphere compared to everything else I’ve read so far

Bonus points for Nathan Hall being one of the few authors I follow on social media (Bluesky) and very clearly being an outspoken ally to the trans people and larger LGBTQ+ community

Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfrid

Middle grade contemporary standalone

Does a great job balancing the time spent on the “am I asexual” plotline and the “how do I contextualize the traumatic event I experienced” plotline (and doesn’t makes the MC asexual because of trauma)

Despite the main character fitting the parameters for being aroace, asexuality is the only element really explored here. It wasn’t done in a way that bothered me when I read it, seeing as it’s a middle grade work and told its story so well, but in hindsight I feel it needs mentioning

I really liked how much of a real person the main character felt and how she really did feel like a middle schooler trying to figure things out

Appreciated the book’s handling of trauma and how messy the main character’s path to understanding it was. Again, really felt like how a middle schooler would process this and not how an adult would

Just honestly a lovely little read

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

Ongoing adult sci-fi novella series (with 1 full-length novel)

What can I say about Murderbot that hasn’t already been said

I relate very much to this socially anxious robot

Man I wanna reread this series

For me this is very much a main character driven read (less in a “what a complex exploration of this person’s inner mind” way and more in a “I love you so much and want to read about everything you do” way). If you don’t love Murderbot after reading the first book then I wouldn’t bother trying to continue

The plots mostly hinge on classic “well this current event happening isn’t good, guess I have to save everyone’s lives now” action

Gallant by VE Schwab

Young adult fantasy standalone

Definitely a vibes-based read for me

I’ve seen some people call this horror but I’d have to disagree. It does have some gothic vibes, but I never really felt horror. But I suppose your mileage may vary, so if you never read any horror at all maybe consider this at the edge of your comfort zone

The main character is mute! Lovely! It definitely factors into the main character’s treatment and worldview, but it’s never “fixed” in the narrative or such. She’s mute when the book begins and is still mute when the book ends

If you can read things with your eyes, I’d highly recommend doing so because the book has lots of beautiful art! For me it really made an impact on the reading experience (and also takes up a significant amount of the page count). I’m not really sure how the audiobook is handled or what accessible options exist for this work for people who can’t see, so, bear that in mine

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

Adult literary fiction standalone

My experience with literary fiction has been very hit or miss but this was a big hit

Equal parts entertaining and thought provoking

Really liked the main character, and looking back on it now that I know I’m autistic, I think she reads very autistic as I relate to a lot of her struggles. I’d have to reread it to give a firm opinion on that though

Very strong writing style imo, I think you’ll quickly know whether the authorial voice works for you or not

The Last Cuentista by Donna Barba Higuera

Middle grade sci-fi standalone

Sad and dark but also hopeful, a very emotional read that doesn’t hold its punches

Emphasis on storytelling and Latinx heritage, also incorporating Spanish words into the text in a way that is still easy to follow if you don’t speak Spanish (which I currently don’t but would like to learn soon)

Haven’t personally seen another middle grade like this and would recommend it regardless of if you typically read this age category

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Middle grade sci-fantasy series

Okay technically this series hints at a romance but it never actually amounts to anything by the end of the series, so I’d still loosely count it as having no romance. But if you really don’t want to even have any momentary inklings of “hmm I wonder if they’ll get together at some point” despite knowing the answer is “no,” then go ahead and skip this rec

Love how this book blends fantasy and sci-fi elements. Mainly in that it’s fantasy cause faeries and other magical things exist (loosely uses Irish folklore for most of its elements) but the faeries use technology (often powered by magic) and the main character also invents things and uses technology (usually not powered by magic). I’d also say the plot lines lean more towards being things you’d expect to see in a sci-fi book

Morally questionable main character that becomes a better person overtime (which is especially cool to see in a middle-grade imo)

Lovable side characters (looking at you Foaly)

Lots of fun action throughout

Would recommend reading the first two books before making your judgement, as the first book is the most different from the rest of the series (fwiw books 2 and 4 are my favorites, so)

[thepenguinweeb]

HeyyyyyyaaaAHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! AHHH. Thank you for responding to my blatant begging for a Wamuu matchup.

Personality: I'm a very calm, patient person, and I try at all costs to not become angry or frustrated easily. I really just hate the feeling of being angry or frustrated, and I try to be sensitive and gentle with people instead of blunt or too forward. I can come off as quiet, even shy, but warm up to people quickly and will talk and or listen to someone for hours. I generally am very attentive and supportive of the people I care for, and one of my biggest dreams is to be married one day, though I don't want children. I think a downside of my personality is that I can be a little insecure, and the second I feel unwanted by someone in any way I close myself off completely and become cold, even if I really liked them. I also have a tendency to become very absorbed/intense about whatever thing I'm currently obsessed with. I consider myself very intelligent, especially in the traditional/academic sense, but am not as worldly or as experienced as I'd wish to be, since I've had a somewhat sheltered life in a small town.

I tend to stay in the background in social situations, wether I want to or not, and have always had many, but loose friends that I always kind end up drifting away from, and not many close relationships with anybody besides my family. I don't find it difficult to make friends, it actually comes very naturally to me, but I always seem to stay in that school/work friend dynamic, and never can really break that barrier into really being a close friend.

Hobbies: I am a huge classic literature fan, and read constantly, especially anything from the 1700's or 1800's, though I also particularly love Shakespeare, Jane Austen and the Brönte sisters. I'd say I always love a good story, no matter what medium it is in.

I also really love to bake, though I'm not much of a cook. But I love just baking some cookies or something with an old disney movie on in the background. I love horror movies, unless they're gory, and I read a ton of comics, especially the original runs of characters like Thor or Ironman by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

And I love love love to shop, at malls, thrift stores or antique stores, and especially bookstores, where I always spend too much money.

Looks: As for looks I'd say I'd be considered generally attractive, and have a very feminine look. I have very long, curly brown hair, brown eyes, and I'm narcissistically proud of my lips. I am also incredibly proud of my hair, and tend to it very diligently lol. I tend to dress in a casual but chic style, and always accessorize with jewelry, and wear lots of greens and browns.

[ ♡ Wamuu matchup for @undercover-monsterlover <3 ]

[ ♡ Notes: so happy to make more jjba content rahh!! Wamuu's my fav pillarman actually idc what anyone says. Alsoo go check out the lovely requester, they're a writer too and I think they deserve more recognition!! ]

First of all - Wamuu would really appreciate your calm personality. He himself isn't a very loud person (or.. Pillar Man) most of the time, so I think he'd actually prefer someone who's similar. You're quiet, and he likes that.

ON THAT NOTE, he absolutely adores if you cheer him on when he's fighting someone. He likes people cheering for him in general - but if that's you, it's as if he becomes better at things. More focused, more skilled. If anyone asked, he'd say you're his 'good luck charm'.

He's totally fine with you not wanting children. I don't imagine he'd be the type to want any, either. However, since he knows how big of a dream it is for you to get married, he would go all out on a proposal/wedding. Like, he buys you the most expensive ring he can (or, alternatively, steals it), makes sure everyone treats you well when the big day eventually comes, and chooses a spot he knows you love for your honeymoon.

I think he'd find your intelligence to be a very attractive trait. He equates it with nobility, and I imagine that was how you 'proved your worth' in his eyes. He doesn't say it out loud, but he loves when you teach him new things, especially concerning the modern age.. because, let's be honest, his old ass needs to learn a LOT about that.

He's lived a pretty sheltered life in his own way - I mean, basically the only people he has a good relationship with are Kars and Esidisi. So, he wouldn't mind at all that you don't have many close friends. Hey, he might consider that a bonus - after all, that means he gets to spend more time with you, right?

He loves when you talk about literature with him. He might be a brute who loves fighting, but I think he'd appreciate a good book every once in a while. If he sees you really getting into a specific book/comic, he might ask to borrow and read it, just so he could connect with you better trough it. Might flex that he's met some of the classic authors (I don't think that lines up with the timeline but it's funny, so).

Wamuu isn't exactly a movie guy. He doesn't understand why humans enjoy it so much, but for you, he makes an exception and sits down occasionally to watch one - even if only to see your face light up when you start talking about it in the end.

He likes to accompany you on your shopping trips. It's very rare that he buys a single thing for himself, but I think he'd be the type to buy something for you if he catches you eyeing it a little too much. He especially enjoys going to antique shops.

The man loves your hair, and he loves how proud you are of it. He will offer to brush it for you, if you let him, of course. He takes great care of it and tries to be as careful as possible.. though, it isn't always easy. Since he's fond of jewelry himself, he has no problem spending money to buy you some every other week. He loves to see you wear the jewelry he'd gotten for you. He will also offer to share his, even though they're a little too big for you.

Bonus: surprise smau muhahaha (it's not good but i tried 😭)

[thememecrown]

Time for spill the beans 👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️

HELLO LITTLE STAR... THE DAY IS COME :D

As I had already said, I would have said that I have it also because since the last poll ended in a tie between the three couples…. it's time to make it more complicated with these additions 🌚 I don't know how to say that I have something in mind that goes BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION.

Nie Mingjue x Wei Wuxian/ New Series : Modern AU, Nie Mingjue and Wei Wuxian as special agents from a secret agency. Between disturbing conspiracies and anomalies, they will have to face mysteries that challenge reality itself. We are talking about SCP / Analog Horror. So yes you will also find secret ""codes"" chapter by chapter which gives you a clue for the next one (I have to work on it but maybe I will idk) If I then want to delve deeper into the concept, there will be the series! Mingxian will be the prelude and then plots will be created with other couples, maintaining a kind of common thread between them Each story will lead you through a kaleidoscope of emotions: anguish, but also sweetness, fear that mixes with moments of tenderness and tension that turns into passion. Don't expect just jumping on the chair and chills, but also reflections on what makes each couple unique, on what binds the characters to each other and on how they face the darkness, inside and outside of themselves.

WARNINGS : The credits of the original analog horror that inspired me will always be written in the chapter notes. However, my plot does not strictly follow the footsteps of the original series. This is for two reasons: to avoid spoilers and to guarantee a complete and engaging narrative experience even for those unfamiliar with the series. Whether you're an experienced fan or a curious reader, I hope this story captures you 🫂

Lan Qiren x Wen Ruohan : Lan Qiren finds himself facing a growing threat from the Jin family. Wen Ruohan, with his manipulative charisma, tries to use Lan Qiren as a pawn in his plan to consolidate his power. Lan Qiren, while aware of his plans, is surprised by Wen Ruohan's mastery at navigating the politics of the martial world. Despite his generally reactive and reserved nature, Lan Qiren finds himself having to collaborate with Wen Ruohan to avoid open conflict between the clans. Lan Qiren can't help but be intrigued by Wen Ruohan's intelligence and intriguing approach, which challenges his rigid outlook on life.

Nie Mingjue x Lan Xichen : AU where Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue are soul mates, but with a less than idyllic initial meeting, you could explore an interesting dynamic of conflicting attraction and developing feelings. Lan Xichen, despite feeling a deep bond with Nie Mingjue as soulmates, is forced to marry him due to social and family pressures, but initially cannot stand the idea of being tied to someone he perceives as gruff and distant. Their relationship evolves slowly, from a formal and detached marriage to a bond which, albeit with difficulty, transforms into a tender and inevitable love, as happens between soul mates. In other words…SASSY XICHEN IS COMING

Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian : Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian married, but not for love. Lan Wangji initially decided to marry Wei Wuxian as an act of spite towards his beloved uncle, Lan Qiren, who had always disapproved of the relationship between the two. Wei Wuxian, although surprised by the proposal, never refused. Their union is a facade: a marriage that does not tell the true feelings of Lan Wangji, but only an act of rebellion against the severity of the Lan clan. Shortly thereafter, Lan Wangji begins to perform increasingly strange actions. To avoid the heavy gaze of his family and the Lan sect, he takes refuge in brothels, but not for the reasons you might think. He eats there, far from any worries, any rules, and his presence becomes more and more mysterious. His reputation is overturned: now everyone thinks he has gone mad, that he has lost his sanity... yup, sassy lan wangji 👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️

Now I will definitely do a survey between maybe two couples or I'll see, these plots are only 20% of what I wrote in these days of pause…. THINK WHAT HAPPENS IF I TAKE THE WHOLE WEEK OFF EHEHEHEHE

So apart from saying that for the idea of the series/plot on analogue horror videos I must say that I was inspired by the Youtuber EmortalMarcus, a Youtuber who explores and analyzes various projects in the genre, so blame him (I'M KIDDING) obviously I hope that do you like these new ideas (CAN'T WAIT TO START WRITING) I want to know yours on this too obviously!!

I hope you enjoy them little star 🫂 !!!

SEE YA LATER LITTLE STAR :D

[avaseofpeonies]

A Drink Before Battle ~ Intro

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, LGBTQ+, BL, Yaoi, Drama

Age rating: 18+ (violence, strong language, sexual content)

Status: Main story complete (70,000 words/ 47 chapters), One extra chapter (more coming someday)

Availability: Free to read on Scribblehub, Wattpad, AO3, Inkitt

Story Tag: #adbb avp

Summary:

General Sevei is of the firm opinion that Nobles are shady and Alchemists even shadier. Noble Alchemists are the absolute worst. He is not looking forward to partnering with one to guard the border. Upon their introduction, though, it would seem they have already met... under very intimate circumstances.

Oh...,****

Set in the same world as Salvage, but we're going back in time for some Medieval sword and sorcery!

This wholesome, happy-endings-all-around, smutty queer fantasy romance features an M/M main couple along with a host of supporting characters bringing some trans rep, some pan rep, some sex worker positivity, and even a straight ally who tries his darndest, bless his little puppy heart.

Plenty of fluff, plenty of sexy times, a few funny bits, and our gang do all make it through the Horrors - but there is a war on, so there's also plenty of angst and a bit of bloody violence along the way.

More details below!

MC: General Zarayan Sevei, 31, brown hair, brown eyes, regular guy

ML: General Yeresym Urskatha, 28, platinum blonde, green eyes, Alchemist (magic user)

Couple Dynamics: Enthusiastic MC x reluctant ML, normal x paranormal, sunshine x grumpy, outgoing x reserved (dog/cat), experienced x inexperienced, vers couple

POV: MC only, 3rd person past

Setting: Fantasy World, Medieval, Military camp

Magic system ~ Qi-type innate spiritual energy (called Ethereal Energy in story). Can be wielded physically, harnessed to fuel technologies, or (more rarely) combined with ritual practices for more esoteric applications.

Themes: individual vs. self, individual vs. society, LGBTQ+ themes, identity, self image, love, sexuality, friendship, loyalty, courage, cooperation, guilt, mental health, empowerment, sex worker positivity, social class/privilege, change vs. tradition, violence, war, prejudice

Tropes: western fantasy influenced by xianxia danmei, enemies (antagonists) to lovers, secret identities, mistaken assumptions, forced proximity, workplace romance, brothel scenes, outdoor bathing, magical sex, opposites attract, side couples, (almost) everyone is queer, found family, band of misfits, fluff, comedic undertone, humor as a coping mechanism, danger/rescue, hurt/comfort, traumatic past, toxic family, angst w/HE, avenging dead loved ones, damsel in distress, magic battles, overpowered villain, aristocracy/nobility, handsome prince

Vibes/Mood: plot with smut, varies from fluffy and comedic to sexy to dark and angsty, but with a happy ending

Content Warnings: Genre typical violence, explicit sexual content, homophobic society, internalized homophobia, internalized transphobia (supporting character), war veteran ptsd, slavery (supporting character – no mistreatment of this character is depicted and sentiments are anti-slavery).

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 2, Wave 1, Poll 10

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Data Soong-Star Trek: The Next Generation

Qualifications:

Many fans interpret him as autistic, including me, and he is gay. Also canonically asexual! He has only ever had one onscreen romance (Tasha Yar does not count, that was a one night stand/FWB thing), with a woman, in which the entire moral was that he was forcing himself to be someone he wasn't while in a relationship with her. His closest relationship is with Geordi LaForge, a relationship commonly interpreted as romantic or queerplatonic.

Propaganda:

Data as a character is so important to me, as an autistic queer kid. His whole storyline of wanting to be human, but never being able to be human, because there's something fundamentally different about him that causes some people to treat him as lesser and nonsentient.... very autistic. He often infodumps to people, is very blunt, experiences emotions in an unconventional way, is socially awkward, and has specific interests in things like poetry and painting. He is a very kind person, and is averse to harming even people who are direct threats to him (such as Kivas Fajo). He has a cat and writes poems about her!! He breaks the prime directive to save a little alien girl!! I cannot adequately explain how awesome this character is in words.

Submitted by @convenient-plot-device

Olivia-Fear and Hunger 2: Termina

Qualifications:

She is a wheelchair user and bisexual. During the confessional scene, players can have her admit to being attracted to any of the other train passengers, although O'saa immediately clocks her for being specifically attracted to one of the women on the train. Additionally, reading her mind in the demo reveals that she finds both Marina and Levi attractive.

Propaganda:

Olivia is my personal favorite disabled representation in any horror game since she does have to get through the game differently compared to the non-wheelchair using players, it is simply another way of experiencing the game. She's also just a very fun character among the horrors. She's also super down for killing the horrors with a gun she found! Elated even!

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

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329. Straight by Chuck Tingle--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was SUCH a fun read!

STRAIGHT is my favourite Tingle book so far. I loved the characters, the horror, the wit, and the unique take on the zombie genre.

STRAIGHT had some great commentary on topics like allyship and how the LGBTQ+ community can come together when there is danger. But I also appreciated the exploration of the anger aimed at the community and felt IN the community. One of the things I love about horror sometimes is how certain situations are used as allegories for certain issues in our contemporary society and Tingle's book doesn't shy away from that. I loved how straight-forward the conversation was.

Overall, I laughed sometimes, cringed from the gore, and loved that I read this in October. I think that if you love horror and zombies and queer stories that are just pure fun with some great social commentary, then you might want to add this one to your TBR!

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330. 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am slowly making my way through King's work and while some are...something else, others like SALEM'S LOT are truly a great example of why he's been writing for so long.

SALEM'S LOT does one of the things I love so much about King's writing: it creates that eerie atmosphere full of trepidation. It felt like I was reading IT if it had been slightly faster paced. The way the story is full of foreshadowing, almost immediately uncomfortably creepy scenes, and a heavy note of wrongness, made this incredibly compelling. I wanted to keep reading and find out what would happen next and who would fall next to the pandemic plaguing the small town of Jerusalem's Lot.

I listened to the audiobook for this and I enjoyed hearing King's introductory chapter, mainly because he acknowledged how dated the story would be in parts, which it was. King's writing is full of problematic words and statements because of the time and what would make the reader uncomfortable. I am familiar with his writing so it doesn't put me off his writing anymore, even if it is still jarring as all hell to read.

That being said, SALEM'S LOT was 100% a classic horror story with that King flourish. It's obvious in how he knows how to bring characters to life with the smallest of details, or how he can demonize a whole town by blanketing it with the perfect word choices and masterful atmospheric writing. It was surprisingly to the point and really well-paced.

The characters were intriguing and kept the story moving relatively well. There were some disturbing moments and characters, and some really sad ones. But their actions and/or ends made this story all the more captivating and haunting.

I'd recommend this one if you like vampires and want a story about a town that is completely helpless against its inevitable demise.

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331. King of Pride by Ana Huang--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I enjoyed the first book in this series more, KING OF PRIDE was a surprise. I was a big fan of the slow burn and the bursts of spice that freckled the story here and there (since I think that sometimes too much spice can be a bit overwhelming).

I loved the differences between the MCs and how they brought them together. I think one of the reasons why I'm such a fan of romances where the two MCs have a big wage difference between them is because they both help each other grow in ways they otherwise would not have experienced. One teaches the other to be more confident and the other teaches them to be more humble. I like the dynamic too because I love a MMC that treats the FMC like the queen that she is.

These two specific MCs had such a sweet love full of some spicy moments that jumped off the page. I could feel the attraction they felt because Huang let the relationship grow organically, rather than let it be one of those insta-romance novels. I loved how they teased each other and how she helped him get out of his shell more.

I also liked how much integrity the MMC had when it came to business, but also that he took action when he really needed to. I felt for the FMC and her fight against writer's block (because truly, same, bestie), mainly because it was a big part of her storyline and one of the things that kept her confidence low.

The climax pissed me off. Not because of the main couple, but the family meddling. I wanted to slap a few of the characters for their callousness and bullying.

But other than that frustrating moment in the book, I really enjoyed this one. It was sexy, romantic, and full of tension. Plus, that dedication was killer and so was the dirty talk. Phew.

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332. Want by Gillian Anderson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

WANT was definitely something a bit outside of the norm for me. Mainly because I don't tend to read a lot of Well-being titles (which I'm classifying this as because it's a sexuality book). But I'm glad I gave it a shot because I found it very enjoyable and eye-opening.

Told through stories sent in anonymously, WANT was the kind of collection that a lot of people will benefit from reading because of how solitary sex and any sexual-related thoughts can be. I know there are places in the world where sex is still seen as something taboo and not meant to be discussed freely. I liked that this book gave women a chance to voice their sexual thoughts--even if some fell into the odd category.

I know I connected to some of the stories and they left me wide-eyed and seen. Other stories I didn't connect to, but it was still fascinating to see how other peoples' minds worked. To be honest, some stories were so over the top that I couldn't help but laugh a few times. Not to yuck anyone's yum, but some of these essays were...a choice.

That being said, I did appreciate how diverse the essays were and how they were categorized. I was a little wary at first that I would grow tired of the essay after essay approach, but the occasional re-introduction of Anderson in between chapters helped break up the monotony.

I'd recommend this to anyone looking for essay collections of the sexual variety with some great diversity. There were many queer women and it was great getting to hear their voices!

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333. The Second Chance of Darius Logan by David F. Walker--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If there is one thing I will say before I write the review--do yourself a favour and don't listen to the audiobook LOL.

^^I stick by this because the voice actor was a man and he sounded absolutely hilarious when he was voicing the female characters. To the point where it sometimes took me completely out of the story.

Anyway, I loved the concept of THE SECOND CHANCE OF DARIUS LOGAN. It was fun and the writing reminded me a lot of the MICHAEL VEY series, which I loved. I love origin stories set in a world completely new to me. I also just liked seeing the MC (who was usually a good teen) get what he had earned during the story.

Walker's social justice commentary was also eye-opening because when we usually read superhero stories, the worlds are completely fictional and often lack the very real issues plaguing our too-real world. Seeing these police officers treating the Black MC in such a racist way made me so angry, both because of the injustice of it all and because not even in fiction do Black teen boys get a break from the racism they face daily. In this way, this aspect of Walker's book made this book all the more powerful--especially because it bursts that idealistic bubble of "it doesn't happen here" when it comes to superheroes in fiction.

Another great part about this book was the exploration of grief and its effect on younger teens who grow without much support after their losses. That simmering anger CAN be a coping mechanism, even if it gets to the point where it can be detrimental. But I liked how he processed his loss and emotions in his own way as the book progressed, especially when he was given a second chance at life.

I'm excited for the sequel because of that somewhat cliffhanger-ish ending. While I wasn't a super huge fan of the narrative style of including too many moments of foreshadowing (I prefer this in horror), I still thought the story had some great pacing going for it and it was highly addictive because I wanted to know what would come next!

I'd recommend this to those who love superhero stories that have a bit more nuance to them than just stereotypical crime fighting.

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334. Our Favorite Songs by Anita Kelly--⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the best things about these books is that they're bite-sized. Some would definitely benefit from being longer, but I'm glad this one was the length that it was.

I liked the idea that this novella was about two characters who come together after so many years, and have that history of one of the characters hating the other. One of the tropes I actually love is the "I hated you as a teen because I had a big crush on you that felt pointless," and this book had that and it was glorious. I DO think that the one character was a bit over-the-top with his meanness, especially with his biphobic comments.

The spice was good, if a little on the quick side (which I'm not surprised because this is a novella). But it was still some fun sprinkling of spice in a story that had started with such animosity between these two guys.

Overall, OUR FAVORITE SONGS was fun, but it followed a similar pattern as the first novella in the series (with problematic moments that took away from the overall cuteness of the story). It's definitely a good holiday read to enjoy with some tea, while sitting by a window when it's snowing. But keep in mind that there will be some moments in this book that will make you want to side-eye the characters.

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335. The Great Cookie War by Caroline Stellings---⭐️

I received a copy from the publisher a LONG time ago.

First of all, I know this book wasn't for me. This is 100% a middle grade novel that isn't exactly accessible to adults (in my opinion) because of how much I had to suspend my disbelief with certain situations.

That being said, this story was a bit choppy. I admit that I went into this without having read the synopsis, but I typically do this with all of the books I read. But I expected...something else? What I got was a preachy book full of choppy writing and questionable characters--like that grandmother. God, she was awful. There's a scene where she is incredibly horrible to the MC and the "apology" is brushed over by telling us it happened rather than showing us. Which honestly sat wrong with me. We get the entire "I'm disappointed, you're horrible" speech, but not the apology that would make the grandmother take ownership of her abuse on the page for a young reader to see (and acknowledge that adults also need to apologize when they're wrong).

The story just didn't feel like something I wanted to invest my time with and to be honest, I don't know if I'd recommend it to the younger readers who come into the store. Simply because of how the MC is treated, or how choppy that writing was.

I can appreciate what this book is supposed to do and represent, but it was truly not something I enjoyed. I've read various MGLit titles before and this is one of the first times where I finished a middle grade book and felt so much ick.

I'm sure this will be great and relatable for a reader out there--definitely younger readers, and I hope they're able to appreciate it in a much better way than me!

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336. Weird Rules to Follow by Kim Spencer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I wasn't sure what to expect from this one, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it followed the MC over the span of a few years as her life changed and revealed some of the cruel truths of her life in a society that looks down on and excludes Indigenous people. It was an incredibly powerful portrayal of a young girl that was paralleled by the experiences of her non-Indigenous friend(s).

I will say, before I continue, that it was jarring to hear an older woman narrating the audiobook for this one--especially when a child gives the description of the cover of the book. I get that this is probably to emphasize that some of these experiences mirror that of the author, but it took me out of the book a few times.

WEIRD RULES TO FOLLOW was definitely a difficult read, especially as an adult seeing a child being excluded and discriminated against, but also seeing the home life she has and how it was affecting her during some of the more important development years of her life. I am not Indigenous, so I don't have any right to say whether this was done correctly or not, but I do want to say that I appreciated this story and the voice that the author gave to this young character.

I think young readers should read books like this one because even though it is set in the 80s, I'm sure there are still things they can relate to--especially in how their own families or friends or people around them interact with/talk about the Indigenous community. And there is, of course, mention of "those schools" (as said in the book), which shows the dark and complicated relationship there with residential schools and the trauma and hell they brought with them.

I highly recommend this book. It's short and powerful and poignant. And even though it's technically historical fiction, it is incredibly timely.

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Happy reading!

[sitehound]

Gumi is an extremely imposing person. She does her best not to be rude nor impolite but she's definitely a case of being the sort where you can't fully remove the former delinquent from her. Even despite the policing accolades, the academic achievements, she's an incredibly gruff and assertive personality.

This choice was complimentary and meant to juxtapose her against Hotaru, who does everything in his power to minimize himself for others.

Gumi is very specifically inspired by the loose cannon, bastard detective trope. This is an image often wielded by men in media. Men get the luxury of being the difficult, but ultimately brilliant genius who have unorthodox methods but gets the job done. When this trope is given to women, I've never liked it just because of how it's handled? It usually has unnecessary emasculating comments about the dick size of their colleagues and how she doesn't have a dick but if she did it'd be SO much bigger blah blah blah.

I wanted to create a character who occupied this unquestioned space of competence and confidence without necessarily being too Hashtag Girl Boss Lean In, Ladies! In my efforts to avert that, Gumi is someone who does try to be polite and mindful of others, but is also exceedingly stubborn and won't listen to the counsel of others if her detective instincts push her a certain way.

I discuss my horror inspirations with Hotaru a lot. In horror games, it's the women who are unarmed where their objective is to just survive and not be taken advantage of. I'm reminded of Bioshock Infinite where Elizabeth, in Burial at Sea, can't even use a shotgun the way the earlier male protagonist of the game could; it's too heavy for her, she can't keep as much ammunition in it.

And I often think of Silent Hill 3 with Heather and the violation of her bodily autonomy being a source of horror. Same with Haunting Ground. It was that which inspired Hotaru, essentially putting him into the role of the vulnerable maiden and what that means in a society that values masculinity.

Gumi, on the other hand, is given the power we would traditionally associate with the male protagonist. Which is to say, she is given the luxury of being armed. With female horror protagonists, there tends to be more of a stealth element or, as I've said, the horror of loss of autonomy.

That is not the case with Gumi. I think "this trope, but the other gender with no changes" can be lazy or poor writing. So for Gumi, a lot of her imposing height and demeanor influences how she is perceived. I think Gumi is attractive, but when one weighs her against the Japanese beauty standards imposed onto women, as well as the expected behaviors of women, she is directly against it.

Gumi, by definition, is meant to occupy space and voice in a way that is not afforded to women, but especially not in relation to the fetishistic perceptions of East Asian women as needing to be small, demure, quiet, and submissive.

The fact that Gumi is so viscerally unpleasant is a form of rebellion against control. This does, in fact, isolate her from her peers and gives many people a negative impression of her. Policing is a male-dominated field and Gumi experienced a lot of misogyny and sexual harassment which ultimately drove her out of the force, as well as realizing the oppression that went into being a police officer for a nation with a 99% conviction rate.

I got a bit off track here, but it's all to say that the difference between Hotaru and Gumi is that Hotaru is the type of horror protagonist we often see in women, where their autonomy is at stake and their means of defending themselves and strength are very limited. Whereas Tsugumi Mochida walks into the fog with a gun and has the quick thinking and strength we often seen attributed to male protagonists.

When I say, I write Gumi like "what if a man were a woman", it's not to take these traits from one spectrum to another with zero changes without acknowledging socialization. It is more to say, I am examining what a woman must do in order to have these traits, how they are perceived with them, and what refusal to adhere to conventional performances of femininity does to a woman, how it ostracizes her.

This is also not addressing the fact that I portray Gumi as autistic in a culture which is very heavy on implied meanings in daily conversation. So not only does Gumi deal with the othering inherent to being a woman, but as well as an autistic women, as well as a queer woman who has decentered the importance of men in her life.

I have no interest in making Gumi a man-hating portrayal, I don't think that's fundamentally helpful writing and it leans too hard into "I'm not like other girls! I'm better!" Gumi isn't meant to not be like the other girls, she is meant to be othered and different, but capable of finding love and community in other women, as well as men.

Anyways this is long as fuck but feminism is genuinely my passion and I am constantly thinking about women's portrayal in media as well as society. I could say so much more but this is like. A Gumi primer because I really didn't go into the importance of her queerness and autism and what these traits mean for women in her circumstances.

[mourningskvader]

I saw a post about your TMA OCs, they look so interestingg, please tell me more about them [if you want to lol] <3

Oh absolutely! I love talking about my OCs! I shan’t bore you with all the details, as I do have quite a lot on them.

The three in question are originally from a TMA OC cosplay tag on Tiktok set in Regency era Britain before the Magnus Institute was established.

My Terminus avatar, Cassius Sallow, is a funeral furnisher and cabinet maker, both trades inherited from his father. He met Beckett Hurst, the person who would become his lifelong partner (in friendship, romance, and crime) when he accompanied his father at a young age to oversee the funeral of Beckett’s late mother. The two hit it off splendidly, and Beckett’s grief-stricken father, a man of great stature, insisted that Cassius and Beckett continue each other’s company.

Into their teenage years and early adulthood, Cassius prepared to take over his father’s business while Beckett became a student of medicine at Guy’s Hospital. The two also became Resurrectionists, disinterring graves to sell to surgeons and anatomists (which led to them experiencing the horrors).

With that last bit tying into Beckett’s untimely death! Beckett is actually a manifestation of Cassius’ End-aligned abilities, but whether he is actually a ghost tied to Cassius, or a manifestation of Cassius’ memory or delusions is unclear.

The third character is my Lonely avatar, Yves Ainsley. He’s a well-off barrister who is presently in a relationship with Cassius and Beckett (very Lonely to be in an active relationship with a dead man). I don’t have as much lore on him yet, because he’s the newest of the trio, but he owns a house in Soho, with all the rooms either empty or the furniture covered with sheets.

Much to his chagrin, he does keep himself integrated into high society, attending the occasional dinner party, and even rarer, hosting his own. His attendance of social events is not for his enjoyment, but to observe candidates that he can single out for the Lonely.

At some point, he became attracted to Cassius due to his subjected Loneliness surrounding the death of Beckett.

I have quite a bit more on them, but I think I’ve dumped a lot already and don’t want to bombard you!

[omegaremix]

Innersleeve Records, 2022

There was one more store on the list that I planned on going to. That was Innersleeve Records in Amagansett, located all the way out at the Eastern tip of Long Island. It’s the one trip I really had to prepare for. At 60 miles and 70 minutes to get there, Innersleeve- would be the furthermost locale of any stops I’d make this year. Out east is where the most scenic parts are - the farmland, the famed beaches, lighthouses, and resorts that partially define it and give Long Island its identity.

Innersleeve- was on the list of my last record-store victory tour (‘18). It was to be on my last stop between mid-July and the end of summer in the event that anyone could go with me, because I refused to go all by myself. So I asked all of my radio-station friends if they wanted to join but all I heard from them was deafening silence. I was also dealing with a personal collapse that rocked me like no other before it. Hence why I didn’t take the ride. But this year is a different one which didn’t deal me a bad river card or rolled snake eyes. Like the last, I had plenty of sizeable victories. I was finally going to give Innersleeve a chance I’ve been putting off, even if gas prices were at an all-time high.

It was the day I was going to head out there, a partially cloudy Thursday. I sat in front of the computer having a breakfast egg-bowl with bits of green peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, and bacon with a glass of orange juice. I popped in a cassette in the deck and let it run through to be digitized while auditioning my music finds for an upcoming radio show. I asked my friends on social media who visited Innersleeve- what they thought and told me it was a pretty good spot, but they also cautioned me that their prices were not cheap but reasonable. WUSB’s all-around good guy Evan told me that he nabbed some spaghetti western soundtracks and giallo for his mother-in-law. (Nice. I guess he was feeling Italian that day.) So, how ‘not cheap but reasonable’ are they, really? Why not visit their page and find out.

Here’s the daily record flip…oh, the fucking horror.

I saw the stickers on what they were selling and it didn’t look good for me. For example: a copy of Talk Talk’s The Party’s Over for $26.99. New records from Interpol, Soccer Mommy, Harry Styles, and King Diamond went for $25.00 to $35.00, some frightening more. Here’s an original pressing of Talking Heads’ '77 album going  for $40.00. The Doors R.S.D. (Record Store Day) sold for the same. A yellow vinyl version of The Smile’s A Light for Attracting Attention spun handsomely for $50.00.  Billion Dollar Babies by Alice Cooper was asking for a whopping $60.00. Wow, seriously? Marie Antoinette would tell me to fuck right off and go choke on a cake.

I’d assume that being they’re located in the trendy uptight part of Long Island, that their selection was pretty straight. I saw nothing but pop, rock, common reggae, all-too-familiar indie artists, American standard jazz greats, and Rock & Roll Hall-Of-Famers. Maybe the occasional Amyl & The Sniffers record? Nothing daring, challenging, or defying to throw in the face of the power-move-making status quo in an uppity part of - wait, nevermind - they carried a copy of GG Allin’s Brutality And Bloodshed For All. That’ll scare all the socialites, Seinfeld, and the rich and powerful back into their bank-account vault homes in no time, eh? I had a laugh for five seconds before I resumed hate-watching their stock. It seemed like they didn’t even attempt to care in hiding their price tags while flipping through their new arrivals.

I remember when I went to Plainview’s Vinyl Bay 777. I looked around and experiencing the freshly-built interior felt like finding a hidden gem in the middle of nowhere. The excitement started to die slowly when I saw that all of their stock was priced three to four times what other stores were selling. They were big on condition and rarity. I only lasted 45 minutes before walking out with nothing and feeling ashamed of myself.

I’m more of quantity over quality. I can care less if the album in question is in tattered condition. As long as I have the physical product and can get it for less as possible then great. I can always stream it afterwards. I knew that -777 and Innersleeve were playing the vinyl revival game and were competing to see who can sell their stock for the highest price possible. They’ll have their case as to why they mark up their selection and even you’d agree it’d make sense. It doesn’t mean you’d want to go broke, and that’s if you were in my position.

That said, their selection didn’t excite me and reeling from sticker shock wasn’t helping, either. Along with the mania of high gas prices ($4.40 a gallon at the time of posting) and spending $893.00 in two days at Amityville’s High Fidelity, it wasn’t worth it. Instead, Innersleeve Records will be replaced by taking a ‘bonus’ trip to (Greenpoint) Brooklyn’s Captured Tracks. After that, I’ll declare my ‘22 Record Store Victory Tour over.

**********

TL;DR: Imagine if I was batting for the Yankees and I hit a zippy ground ball that rolled right to the Red Sox pitcher’s glove. He catches it right before I take my foot off the dirt and then throws it to his first baseman for the out. Now you know how I felt choosing to stay home instead of going to Innersleeve Records.

Innersleeve Records shopping list: no dice.

[paintcloset]

You did WHAT? And posted it WHERE?

Personal analysis of the cult obsession of depictions of blood, gore and violence, its potential origins and roots in 2010 internet culture.

Arlo Babenko, June 2024

[Hot Blood, 2024, Guache and Ink on Paper, 40.5x50cm]

Growing up on the internet with unrestricted internet access, I was part of a young demographic that discovered the unlimited horizon of media which portrayed violence, blood and gore. I believe it has shaped me as a person and still affects my views on aesthetics as well as media consumption. Reading Cynthia Freeland’s chapter titled, “Blood and beauty” from her book “But is it art?” made me think about the ever present violence in online media, which influenced the greater sphere of its aesthetics and my personal experience with the aesthetics of blood at an early age. In this essay, I will explore potential origins of gore and violence obsession in online media, and its aesthetic effects on my generation. 

When referring to gore aesthetics, I am referring to images posted by social media users. While not being made or seen as art, these images are gathered under hashtags dedicated to these categories of evidence of violence on the body (@every-bruise-a-galaxy). These aesthetics influenced not only photography but also illustrative work to include these depictions.

One part of the evolving categorization under gore is the subgenre of juxtapositioning, something stereotypically perceived as cute and combining it with elements of horror, including body horror, making it also fall into the category that I am defining in this essay. A classic example is the animated series PONY.MOV. It was a series of 12 short animated videos posted onto YouTube, parodying the popular tv show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic (MLP). It pictured the main 6 characters of the show as mentally unstable, psychopathic, or deranged and carrying out unethical actions, not typical to its reference material. (Gilardi 2011) Being about 7 years old when this was released, I remember watching it and being unable to discern it from content meant for children. Afterall, it featured the familiar faces of cartoons that I would watch. When brought up in discussion with friends to see if anyone had a similar experience, one said that “They ruined my childhood”. This is one way of introducing blood in the media at a young age. I believe it's a gateway to attraction to gory aesthetics.

Being acquainted with this media one may ask, why would such major collections of images depicting bruises, bloodied knees, nosebleeds and children cartoons reimagined as psychotic, be gathered by such a wide range of users? Exposure to such violent content at a young age is not the cause of a community's descent into desensitization. It’s one of my anecdote examples of potential root causes of the trend. Although some may have never been exposed to this kind of content regularly, they may remember it from brief interactions. The psychological response of long standing remembrance of violence is something we are born with. Researchers found that “Long-term memories are influenced by the emotion experienced during learning as well as by the emotion experienced during memory retrieval.” (Buchanan). When comparing the recall of a neutral memory to a one with an emotional one, the latter one is more likely to be remembered. Applying this concept to consumption of media, emotionally charged media depicting violence, is more likely to be remembered, and more likely to be reproduced. 

Whilst examining the potential scientific reason behind the attraction to gore, one may remember that Kant, also tried to find the scientific and objective reason behind aesthetics. The attraction to aesthetics of an injury fit into his description whilst contradicting it. Freeland states that Kant believed “that something beautiful has ‘purposiveness without a purpose’.” (Freeland, 11). A bruise or a nosebleed has no active purpose, but rather is the symptom of an action. It’s the aftermath of trauma inflicted to the body. It could be argued that neither serve a purpose when detaching it from its cause and creation. But some would argue that both are beautiful. The bruise may serve a purpose on the body through processes that we can only observe through its change in color, but to quote Freeland on the separation of usefulness and beauty in the object, the purpose of an injury, “is not why it is beautiful. Something about its array of colours and textures prompts my mental faculties to feel that the object is ‘right.’” (Freeland 12). In this case an injury is not beautiful because of its lack of perceived use, but is also found beautiful through its cause. This makes it follow Kant’s idea of aesthetics, whilst also contradicting it. 

Combining both of my arguments for obsession over the aesthetics of injuries and violence on the internet, there is a potential new question to the attraction to this aesthetic. If you can’t forget the content you consume, do you start to find it beautiful? Potentially, yes, but I don't know for certain. I believe that there is a combination at play of the two elements, as well as attraction to the illustration of cause on the body by injuries being present. After all, it's proof you're alive, even if bleeding, and there is beauty in seeing those elements as beauty as well. 

Works Cited

Buchanan, Tony W. “Retrieval of Emotional Memories.” 2008, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2265099/. Accessed 3 June 2024.

@every-bruise-a-galaxy. “Bruised knuckles and night skies for anon.” Tumblr, Every Bruise a Galaxy, 14 October 2022, https://www.tumblr.com/every-bruise-a-galaxy/698119006135238657/bloodyhands-butimnotdead-bruised-knuckles-and. Accessed 4 June 2024.

Freeland, Cynthia A. But is it Art? An Introduction to Art Theory. Oxford University Press, 2001. Accessed 6 June 2024.Gilardi, Max, creator. PONY.MOV. 2011. 2011. YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL94A83DC128CC6B4B. Accessed 5 June 2024.