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cosmo-lexies · 1 year

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Dylan Season 1 (3/7)

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4: Law & Order-Version gossip family

There were a lot of MDs from Victoria on my mobile. She was free next Friday and suggested some places. Obviously, I selected the movies. The cinema is in Battle Ground over twenty minutes from WoodenTown. It's the perfect place to recharge without anyone noticing.

Besides, in this way, we couldn't talk much. Andrew thinks these things are easy, 'go on a date with that cute girl,' 'Think about this dance,' 'I'm sure that you would have a good time.' That is bullshit. If I approached the people, they would start to ask. 'Where are you from,' 'Why do you live with your aunt and uncle?', and the worst, 'Where are your parents?'.

My life is hard enough without typical teenage troubles. And it's a matter of time before these problems appear if I'm not careful. Maybe I should have accepted.

I put the phone on silent and went to bed without eating dinner. After this intense day, I only want to sleep. I was begging to sleep when my Uncle Jerry appear by the stairs.

"The dinner is ready. Are you sleeping?" he asked.

"I tried. I'm not hungry."

"C'mon boy, Sunday dinners are very important."

Jerry is tremendously traditional in some things. I saw him cry while the national anthem was sounding, and Sunday's church and family dinner is something sacred. Despite this, he is a good guy and hardworking. Let's be real, if some unknown nephew shows up at your house without any explanation, not many people are gonna be down to just let him in.

I changed my jams and downed. The best moment of the week, the interrogation. Okay, interrogation maybe be too much. It's a conversation that the authority figure wants that we tell them all about our week. It's a fucking interrogation.

First Elena the eldest daughter, for only five minutes, the last thing is mentioned by Tomas all the time. Then Tomas and after I, and lastly Mary. Always in that order, from oldest to youngest.

"Well, Dylan, something new?" my aunt asked.

"As usual, class and job," I said while staring down the peas on my plate with reluctance.

"And what did you do today? We didn't see you all day," Jerry asked.

He wouldn't approve of how I passed the Sunday. He's barely over me being an atheist. I prefer not to think about his reaction if he knows I'm all about casual flings. Well, I was.

"I hung out with a friend." It's not a lie at all.

Okay, it's a lie. I don't like lying but sometimes the consequences of telling the truth suck even more. For example, if Andrew had bought my lies, I'd all be enjoying a peaceful dinner without these impulses to wreck stuff.

"Do you have friends?" Tomas said.

"Tomas Jefferson White, I educated you better than this. Disculpate inmediatamente, vaya por dios," when my aunt got angry, she finished saying something in Spanish. Maybe this's the reason why my cousins don't learn Spanish, the language of scoldings.

"Sorry Dylan," he was blushing as red as a tomato. I wasn't angry, he was right about me and my friends.

"Friends, I don't know, but he has a date," Elena said with a crooked grin.

"Really, who?" Tomas asked.

"Victoria," Elena answered him.

"Do you have a date with the most beautiful girl in the school? You are born lucky," Tomas said.

This conversation had been very uncomfortable. I changed the issue, and rapidly Mary saved me when she started to talk about her week. Apparently, she had married a boy from her class. Jerry started a speech about why she doesn't have to play with these things, that marriage is sacred. Unfortunate Mary.

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5: Superhero movies in a world with superheroes are reality shows?

The time flew by and the Friday arrived. I was waiting for Victoria in the street in front of my aunt's. She would come to pick me up at 6 in sharp. I would have gone to grab her, but I don't have a driver's license because of a matter with a car that almost ended up in Fuken Lake. Nobody got hurt, but I don't think the examiner's back on duty yet. She arrived late, over ten minutes. She drove an old station wagon.

"Hey, thanks for picking me up!" I said while getting in the car.

"No problem, Elena told me about the car exam incident," obviously, she told. She always told.

"Well, my relationship with the cars is complicated," I said trying to be nice. "The next month I will sit for my third test,"

"Really! Are you ready?"

"Not, I not. Pero a la tercera va la vencida."

"Ohh, Tu hablas español amigo?" she said with a bad Mexican accent; honestly, I shouldn't complain when we got back to the USA, my English pronunciation was trash.

"Yes, I'm part Spanish, and I grew up in Spain until I was eleven years old."

"Really so cool. My Spanish is bad, but I always wanted to learn other languages. I started last year."

We continue to speak about languages, class, and other issues. She told me a lot of gossip about my classmates, but I didn't remember most of those people. I have to admit that I didn't expect to have such a good affinity with Victoria. We arrived with little time to start the movie, fortunately. My small talk skills were poor and I was dry on topics.

When we sat down, the trailers had just finished. We selected superhero movies, I'm more of a fantasy fan, but she's all about the capes and tights. We watched 'Captain Liberty and the Violet Wicht.'

In a moment, I realized that Victoria was touching my arm. I approached my face to say something about it, but she kissed me ardently. Between the flashes of the movie, I could see her eyes. I didn't notice until that moment, they are an intense blue, like the lapis lazuli. We were kissing for some minutes when she started to touch other parts.

I was hotter by the minute, but doing this in public didn't like me. For this reason, I held her hand and we got out to the movie theater. We entered the bathroom, which had the typical individual stall; she started kissing me while I was opening a stall. She was pretty and I didn't expect she was so bold. I was so focused on her that I forgot my previous doubts.

"What do you want? " I asked with my sexy tone of voice.

"What do you mean?" she blushed and her hands began to tremble.

"I mean, what do you like? Maybe oral sex or ..."

"I don't know," she was nervous; this wasn't working.

I moved away and gave her some room to breathe. I started to feel shame, I was too much intense and had her feeling overwhelmed.

"We could still catch the rest of the movie if you want, there's still half left to watch," I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry," she whispered while looking away.

"I'm the one who should apologize. I went all out too much. C'mon, go back to the movie. Capitan Liberty still hasn't saved the day," I smile at her. I didn't know what else to do.

She changed her worried face and looked at me. "Capitan Liberty is the bad guy, man."

"Thanks for the spoiler." I was joking, I wasn't interested in the movie.

"This isn't a spoiler it's basis culture. Everybody knows that Capitan Liberty is the nemesis of Violet Witch," she said while we got out to the bath. "He is infiltrated in the Rescues, but he is the leader of Chimera, the biggest organization of supervillains." She had recovered the mood and was calmy again.

"You are a comics geek, are you?"

"Shut up, looks who's talking, I know your secret," for a moment it was hard to breathe for me, I have too many secrets and any of them can screw up my life. "You have a huge collection of fantasy and sci-fi books hidden in your e-book reader." I breathed calmly. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. We better go back to the movie."

That was really close. I shouldn't have dated her, and I should have been careful with my life. It wasn't until just this moment that I realized my cousin knows stuff about me that I didn't even know she knew.

We watched the movie, and when we went out, we bumped into Jackson Lee and a friend. I don't remember the guy's name, although I think he's in my physics class. I'm not good with names. The only reason why I remember Jackson is that he's a local celebrity. He's WoondenTown's only known HEA, besides he was getting ready to enlist in the FAHEA special forces, which is major for a tiny-ass town like this.

"Hi, Dylan, Vic. How are you?"

"What's good, how are you doing?" Victoria answered.

"Great! Do you care that I speak with Dylan alone for a sec?" We move to a corner. He had a big smile on his face. "I celebrate a party tomorrow in the point, are you know? in the north shore of Foken Lake."

"Thank you, but parties are not for me."

"C'mon man, it will be funny, and you could bring your cousin. Could you hook up your lab partner with this favor?" finally, I understood the invitation; although I wasn't sure if he was my lab partner.

"I will ask her, but I won't promise anything." I was sure about not going to the party, but I didn't feel like speaking more about this.

"Thanks, bro. I will send the address. If you need anything, you will call me."

I walk with Victoria to her car. She offered to take me home, but I kindly declined. I needed to recharge. She insisted but I made up something about I needed exercise. I don't remember exactly what I said.

In the lateral of the cinema, there was a strange guy with some kind of calculator with a tiny parabolic. He was twenty-something, with brow hair and a worried face. He approaches the parabolic to my face.

"Do you want something, dude?" I didn't understand the situation.

"Do you know if there's anything like 15 kilometers heading north?" he had a strange voice; I couldn't say what was wrong, he was speaking a perfect Ingles, but there was something weird.

"I guess that's Fuken Lake, but I'm not sure,"

"Okey, thank you very much" he was disappeared from the corner. That guy was freaky.

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caltropspress · 2 months

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RAPS + CRAFTS #28: Height Keech

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m Height Keech from Baltimore, MD. I’m currently living in NYC. I put out my first solo album in 2000 and have been steadily dropping albums and touring since then. I began producing for other artists around 2016. My current project is Wave Generators with Nosaj from New Kingdom. We’ve got a new album out called After The End on Fused Arrow Records.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I definitely do not write every day. I make beats every day though. That feels like the most important area to apply discipline, for me. It seems like no project I take on can really take shape until I have my dream beats, or at least some rough sketches of my dream beats, and getting those dream beats made just takes so much time. No matter what, there’s always a lot of trial and error, and a lot of weeding out material that ends up being in the “close, but no cigar” category. On the other hand, the rhymes tend to feel like they just fall into place once the beats are there.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

Notebooks are my personal preference, but keeping the contents of these notebooks organized gets hectic. My wife and I have a million notebooks lying around the house, and it’s a pain in the ass to go digging through these pages trying to find these random lines. One thing I like about writing on the laptop is that you can think, "What was that rhyme I had about grapes?" and just type "grapes" into the search bar, and it’s all there, without fumbling around.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

The first thing that usually jumps out at me is a rhythm and a cadence, rather than the actual words. I would say maybe half the people I work with are like that. We get an idea of how the entire verse should sound before we know what we’re going to say. I think an easy example of this is how the Beatles were saying "scrambled eggs" before they settled on "yesterday."

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

Almost every idea starts as another idea, and it never goes exactly the way I had in mind when I started. If I end up with something underwhelming, I try to ask myself why. Maybe the rhymes just don’t really come alive on the beat I’m using, and I need to switch the beat up. Maybe the rhymes are nothing special, but there’s one potent line that becomes the first line of a new rhyme. If I find myself doing something that falls flat, I try not to panic or throw the baby out with the bathwater. There’s usually a reason I was compelled to write these words or chop up these samples, and if they’re not coming together the way I hoped, I just need to rethink it and try again.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I’ve kept tour journals over the years, and I’m always playing around with the idea of editing them into a book of some kind. I think I’m pretty good at putting it all together, but I get stuck on “What would make someone actually pick this up and read this?” I feel like I need an angle to tie it together if I was to actually try and release any of this to the public.

I had a screenplay idea I was having fun with as well. That stuff is cool to work on, but knowing what an uphill battle it is to just get music out there (even multiple decades in), taking on the task of getting any other writing out into the world seems insane. I haven’t done any of that other writing enough for it to affect my music one way or the other.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

If there’s a specific bar or word that doesn’t sit quite right, I tend to notice it immediately and fix it in my initial burst of writing, rather than let it live and be not right. I think that makes me write slightly slower than other people. Sometimes I just get stuck on bar 11 for quite a while, where other people like to breeze past whatever issue they’re having with a specific bar and deal with it later. I look at the editing process as the time to edit the song, rather than the time to edit the verses. If the actual verses have a bunch of wack shit left in them, it feels pointless to try and work them into a song.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

I would say any set of lyrics I use will end up having been tried over multiple beats, and it usually takes some trial and error to find a combination that actually clicks and means something to me. The only exception would be when I’m invited to guest on someone else’s album and there’s a clear direction like, “Your verse starts right when the drums come in.”

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

It’s all about feeling. I have a feeling and it comes out in the form of a sound or a rhythm or phrases. I don’t usually sit down and say, “Today, I’m going to write a song about Ancient Greece.” Most of my music just isn’t like that, but when I do tackle straightforward topics or stories, it’s more that the feeling (from the beat, but also just from life) pulls me toward that subject as I go, and I learn what I’m writing about as it’s happening.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I don’t go in with plans like that, so I guess it’s always flexible. I definitely have a few familiar patterns I fall into, whether I mean to or not. I do only simple things, because that’s what I want to hear. I learned a long time ago that I don’t want to be re-inventing the wheel, and reaching for some undiscovered pattern or scheme. The way I see it is that when it comes to the mechanics of rap, the greats gave us all the building blocks that exist (more or less) and now it’s up to us to rearrange them or break them apart, in whatever way feels right. If you try to outgreat the greats, you end up being like the guy at your local Guitar Center trying to shred one millisecond faster than Yngwie Malmsteen. It’s like, "You missed the boat, buddy. We’re all over here now."

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics? This is from “The Joy You’ve Made Will Never Fade.”

This place was a dead mess, till those punks cleared a path they ran wires through the wall, and ran water to the bath and they put up those posters, and they took people in With the thinking that the loser would be later to win But when the shows all ended and the building got sold It was filled with beer bottles, blood stains and black mold and those punks that had the spark, they were back to square one left to pick up those pieces, starting where they’d begun but the spirit they fostered, it reverberates round in every corner of the city, from the northernmost down and it may be cold comfort and the future may sting But a voice gave to the voiceless is an unending thing Now the singer sits broken, and his voice box is blown He gunned it till he saw smoke, now he’s resting those bones And his daytimes are bleak, and his nighttimes are cold but your spirit keeps floating through the river of soul Cause I got your first album, back when I was just a kid Now that I’m grown it means more than back then it did And when I put on that music, I’m fifty feet tall I feel my heartbeat start racing, feel my defenses fall And we drive through that darkness, on a west Texas night Those songs that you sang are my one lantern light

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

This is from me and Darko The Super’s song called "My Are Bend Back": I can’t stand at a standstill Tom MacDonald CD’s landing all in a landfill When it’s time to rock the damn bill We don’t need Skull Snaps, Rapper Dapper or Mandrill I wrote this verse on a hot summer day, stuck in a traffic jam for hours in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. It felt like the right beat to have on loop in the van, and I was just having fun, playing around with words. I always liked the redundancy of the line, “I shot him with the shotty, then I jetted on the jet,” from Special Ed’s "The Mission." Dipset would do the same thing with the seemingly unnecessary repetition of words. It’s like the opposite of what we’re told good lyricism is supposed to be.

As for the Tom MacDonald diss, I remember my friend that ran my first label saying CDs are junk now, and they’re all just the future contents of a landfill. Maybe that’s true, but I think that Tom Macdonald CDs might as well be put in a landfill right now, and even his fans sort of agree, on some level.

The last part is a play on the outro of Ultramagnetic MC’s "Checkin’ My Style," where Kool Keith says, “We don’t need Chic, / We don’t need Sister Sledge.” That part always intrigued me. I only half understand why he said that. Didn’t they kind of need to sample all the groups they sampled, to do what they did? I came to think of it as maybe a message about not being overly deferential to these public domain hip-hop reference points. I guess in that sense, if they don’t need Sister Sledge, we don’t need Skull Snaps either. (But we sort of do? I don’t know.)

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I’m a recovering punch-in fiend. It all began at age 14 when my friend Gregg let me borrow his Dad’s Tascam four-track. I started writing songs by coming up with one line at a time, recording it, rewinding the tape back, writing one more line, arming the other track and recording again. I always liked rappers that would play around with that setup and get crazy with it, so that it sounds like there’s two or three different versions of them hanging out together in the studio. (Example: almost every song on the second ODB album.)

The downside was realizing that you can’t really recreate that at a show. You don’t want to end up like the guy Ghostface was talking about when he said, “Trying to spit his darts and can’t even spit 'em.” I always loved how Boogie Down Productions would take a line that could be a punch-in but then have somebody else say it, and then split the lines up that exact same way when they rock live. (Peep the version of "Jack Of Spades" from Live Hardcore Worldwide, as an example.) I think that’s a cool idea, but I’m trying to do stuff like that less now, in that it just becomes one more thing that whoever’s onstage with you has to think about.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

I find myself so immersed in rap that I don’t even go out of my way to listen to it as much as I go out of my way to listen to everything else. Here’s a few things I’ve been stuck on recently: Dead Moon, The One Way Street, Linda Smith, La Dusseldorf, Elton Britt, Stompin’ Tom Connors, Ted Taylor, Jimmy McCracklin. Outside of music, I think the biggest thing influencing me (by far) in the last couple years has been living in a new city, after living in one place for 40 years.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I think the general idea is to be loose and wild while you’re jotting ideas down, and then be more critical when you’re in editing mode. I think I’m good at jumping back and forth between those two modes, and if I find myself doubting the material when I’m editing, it just means I should leave it on the cutting room floor and try again. The only debilitating doubt I feel has less to do with my music and more about “How are any of us ever going to make money to live?” Those kinds of questions are a whole separate issue, obviously.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

This might be hard to imagine now, but when I was in high school, my rap style was a blatant Ghostface impersonation. I didn’t even realize that’s what I was doing at first. There used to be a radio show in Baltimore called The Cypher where you could call in and battle other callers over the phone. I called in once and taped my appearance. When I played the tape back and heard how blatant the GFK influence was, I knew I had a problem. It took a while to strip that influence away and build my own voice up. Some voices are so unique and idiosyncratic that you can’t work in too much of their flavor without sounding like you’re doing a Saturday Night Live impression of them.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I think the agenda is to try and create big feelings and big experiences for people, like the ones I’ve felt as a listener and as a live audience member. I think I’m acting on the same impulse I felt when I was going to shows at age 12. I would listen to albums and go to shows, and want to join in on the fun. I’d imagine it was me up there doing it, and that I’d have my own way of doing it, and that I’d find a way to keep doing it forever. I don’t really think of it as expressing concerns, if only because I probably have the same concerns as everybody else.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Bryan Lackner

#underground hip hop #zines #height keech #wave generators

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hous-e-metophobia · 1 year

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A Guide to the Guide

Warning: This post and blog contain references to vomiting.

This is in order to provide a screening of House MD for viewers with a phobia of vomit. Not graphic.

(this post is also long)

First of, this blog will contain references to vomit and vomiting. They are not graphic and are for the purpose of avoiding it within the show. If you are uncomfortable even reading about that, I do not recommend this blog, and unfortunately, I do not recommend the show to you either.

Personally, a medical show seemed daunting given my phobia but upsetting moments are fairly easy to avoid, in my opinion, if you are prepared. I really enjoyed the show, and I recommend watching it if it seems like something you'd like. This blog is to make it easier to watch or rewatch it.

This blog is also primarily for my own use and reference, but I figured I'd might as well share it. If you don't need it, just ignore it. If you do, this post contains information about how the blog works, but it is not necessary to read the whole thing. If you have questions, however, they very likely are somewhere here.

Disclaimers

Due to the nature of this, there will be very minor episode spoilers. I do not think this will take away from watching the show.

I will be providing timestamps as best as I can. However, as I am emetophobic myself, I do not watch the scenes I know contain vomiting. Typically I will record a time stamp after an instance has occurred. In most cases, it is safe to assume that 30 to 60 seconds before that is a good time to mute and look away.

Please note that posts will warn only about instances that specifically involve vomiting and adjacent scenes. It does not account for gore-y or grotesque scenes that may induce squeamishness. It will also not contain warnings for any other potentially triggering content.

Reblogs are off for all posts to reduce the chance of any potentially upsetting content being added to them, and because I don't see why they would be necessary. If for some reason you would have liked to reblog a post, you are welcome to repost an image of it.

Posts will be as comprehensive as possible but still not completely. If you have a question or an addendum you are welcome to share or ask in the replies of the post or the ask box.

This blog is also a work in progress. I am adding episodes as I watch them. Still, if you would like to request a specific episode that I have not covered, you are welcome to do so in the ask box. An answer will be less comprehensive than a post. I will likely just use my memory and the Fanwiki to give a vague idea.

If i give a content warning in the title section of the post, that warning is for the contents of the post, not the episode. Please do no assume there will not be potentially triggering content (not vomiting related) in an episode because I have not given a warning, as I am not vetting for everything.

Posts

Every post will have the episode number and title, as well as verdict, before a 'keep reading' break. This is to avoid anyone reading the content who does not wish to.

After that will be three sections: Instances, Adjacent, and Mentions.

Instances are occasions when a character or characters vomits.

Adjacent refers to occasions and actions that could be adjacent to vomiting, ie. intense coughing or spitting.

Mentions will be any time vomit or vomiting is mentioned at all. (There may be instances of these that I miss as they are the most easy to overlook.)

Then, the verdict will be repeated and an explanation will be given.

Finally, I will provide a link to the episode's Fanwiki article. These can be useful to know more precisely when instances may take place, or to replace an episode with a summary. The summaries on the Fanwiki are very comprehensive. However, be mindful that the breakdown, while chronological, is not entirely scene by scene. (For example, there may be a clinic patient scene between two main plot ones, and its place is not always listed. Massive shout-out to the Fanwiki and anyone who worked on it. It's great and I could not have watched House without it.

Verdicts

Each episode will be given a verdict, or rating of whether or not there is vomiting, and how severe.

All Clear: Episodes given the All Clear verdict will be marked in green. These episodes will not contain vomiting of any kind, though they may contain mentions.

Mild: Episodes given the Mild verdict will be marked in yellow. These episodes may contain instances of mild vomiting or references to vomit. This might be a visual cue (such as a stain) unaccompanied by any action visible or audible. It may also contain moderate adjacent behavior, such as substances coming out of patients' mouths.

Moderate: Episodes given the Moderate verdict will be marked in orange. These episodes may contain instances of active vomiting that have no visual clue (someone retches offscreen, etc.). They may also contain severe adjacent behavior, typically in the case of coughing up blood. (Note that not all instances of 'coughing up blood' in this show are the same, and I am categorizing them at my own discretion.)

Proceed with Caution: Episodes given the Proceed with Caution verdict will be marked red. These episodes will contain instances where a character vomits on screen. However, these instances are often possible to avoid by muting and looking away.

Consider Skipping: Episdes given the Consider Skipping verdict will be marked purple. These episodes will contain instances where a character or characters vomit onscreen on multiple occasions, in a way that makes it difficult to avoid, or both. It might be better to read a summary of this episode instead.

Please remember that verdicts are based on my own opinions on what is severe. If a verdict is not All Clear, read the explanation to better determine what you are comfortable with.

Tags

For navigation purposes, every post will be tagged with 1) its verdict:

#all clear #mild #moderate #proceed with caution #consider skipping

2) Season: #season 1, #season 5, etc.

And 3) specific episode number: #1.2, #7.6, #5.14, etc

I will not be tagging for House or for vomit warnings. This is the final disclaimer that these posts will contain discussions of vomit and vomiting. I will keep it as far from graphic as it will allow.

I will tag asks or any other post as not being an episode reference.

Thanks!

#pinned post

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gojrsdumpsterrental · 1 year

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What dumpster should I use for my home project?

Remodeling your house is not an easy project. You have to deal with lots of things in order to achieve the best result. One of the main things to think about when you start to remodel your house is all the junk that is generated from doing so. Those piles of rubbish will pile up, and it will make your remodeling project harder. How can you deal with this then? Well, what we recommend is to rent a dumpster. You're going to need it, and it will make your work easier.

How big of a dumpster should I rent?

The first question people usually ask themselves is how big should the dumpster be. It's a very good question. When you measure a dumpster, you do it in cubic yards. So, as you go on with your project, it will be interesting for you to think about how many truckloads of material you will be tearing out. By doing this, you will have an approximate idea of how big a dumpster you will need. Here we are going to give you a rough estimate:

● 10 cubic yard unit – 3 truck loads

● 15 cubic yard unit – 4-5 truck loads

● 20 cubic yard unit – 6 truck loads

Typical sizes for most projects

There are many projects you can do at your home, but there are some projects that are done more than usual, so these kinds of projects are the most common ones.

For example, small bathroom remodels. You will not need a big dumpster in order to do this kind of remodeling. With just a 10 cubic yard unit, you will be fine. A small bathroom will not leave a lot of waste, so renting this dumpster will be enough for you. If you plan on remodeling something bigger than a small bathroom remodeling like, for example, a large kitchen or a large bathroom, the best would be to have a 20 cubic yard dumpster. This way, you will not have to worry about packing your dumpster, and you will have enough space to make your remodels with an ease of mind.

There are more uses for dumpsters, not only remodels. If what you plan to do is a big cleanout in your garage, then you will probably need a 10 or 15 cubic yard unit. If you've been piling junk for many years and your house is considerably big, then do not hesitate to go for the 20 cubic yard dumpster.

One of the main reasons to get a dumpster would be a complete demolition project. Let's say you want to tear down an old garage. You will need the biggest dumpster for this. Demolition projects usually leave a lot of junk, that is why having enough space to deal with all this junk is essential. If you are working in a tight space, you will need freedom in order to move around and to all you need to do. That is why instead of piling all the junk in different places, getting rid of it would be much better. It would allow you to move freely and work in your project more easily.

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impostoradult · 4 years

Text

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me:

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

All of that bothers me tremendously.

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up.

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out)

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday.

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered?

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all.

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™.

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written.

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this.

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER.

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV.

Not ever.

I can’t think of ONE example Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna.

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes.

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing.

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct.

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough).

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough).

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough).

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough).

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging.

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents.

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely.

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!)

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail.

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place.

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again.

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime.

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn.

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder)

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

#Supernatural #Destiel #queer representation #sorry this is long

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alienheartattack · 3 years

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Hii! I am also a rivamika shipper and omG I love all of your fanfictions! They are so well written and I smile whenever i read one of them. From ur fics, Im guessing rivamika is ur OTP? But- I have been so inspired by ur fics that I want to write my own Rivamika fanfictions, but my writing is nowhere near as good as urs. Do you have any tips on how I can improve?

Thank you so much for your message! It makes me so happy to know that other people enjoy my fics. There's really nothing better when you're reading a story and the feels hit and you've just got this big grin on your face, so that's the feeling I try to go for when I write.

I would say strictly based on the sheer volume of fic I've written, Rivamika is definitely my OTP. I've had other OTPs in the past but I'd never published much fanfiction for them because I tended to join fandoms well past their peak, but there's a definite theme in all of my shipping adventures: a talented but difficult man and the equally talented woman who sees through his bullshit. (I was really into House/Cuddy from House MD back before the show made them canon and then sunk the ship into the Mariana fucking Trench in like 8 episodes. Everyone, please count your blessings that Rivamika isn't canon.)

As for improving your writing... I'm going to try not to write a novel about this because I have Many Feelings About Writing. First off I would caution you not to compare yourself to other writers, but rather look at them as sources of inspiration and emulation. (Mainly I just feel weird when younger fic writers compare themselves to me, since I have an extensive background in writing and editing, I've read a ton, I studied writing in college, and during my last fandom hiatus I got into live comedy and wrote multiple sketch and variety shows as well as a whole-ass play. One of the reasons why I'm as good as I am is because I've been doing this for so long.)

The very unsexy but true answer is that good writing is born from discipline and developing your own practice. Every creative writing teacher I've had has said something along the lines of, "I cannot teach you how to write. I can give you tools and the opportunity to workshop your writing, but you have to figure out the writing process that works best for you." Some people are more productive in the morning or at night; you might write longhand, on your phone, or on a computer; you might start writing with only inspiration to guide you or you might outline extensively before you start. You have to figure out which of these methods work best for you and figure out how to schedule time to write. (Personally, I write mostly at night, I outline extensively, and I take notes on my phone whenever inspiration strikes me because I know I'm going to lose the idea unless I write it down immediately. It's taken years of trial and error to get to this point. My process is still pretty haphazard but it's what works for me.)

To write well, you have to write a whole lot of shit first. It's just a fact; my first drafts are absolute trash and I hate them a lot of the time, but I try not to get discouraged because it's just a skeleton of the final product. You're probably not going to like what you write at first, but all that means is that your skill level doesn't match your taste level yet. If you let that piece of writing sit for a while and come back to it after you've done more reading and more writing days or weeks later, you'll be able to better identify what you don't like and be able to fix it. Ideally you want to do some kind of writing every day or close to it, whether that's writing down an idea in your notes app, scribbling in a notebook on your lunch break, dedicating yourself to a practice of morning pages, or something similar. Even spacing out and thinking about your story can be productive, but only if you write down what you come up with.

Aside from discipline, being a well-rounded writer boils down to developing several core skills:

Reading: You want to read everything you can get your hands on — and I mean everything. The goal is to train yourself to identify writing that you like and to be able to explain why you like it, then employ those devices and concepts in your own writing. Even if you're only planning on writing fiction, there's still amazing writing to be found in nonfiction. (Food writing and travel writing in particular tend to be very evocative in their descriptions.) I also take inspiration from poetry for its impactful use of language. The more you read, the more ideas and stories and references you'll be aware of, and you'll be able to pull inspiration from a wider breadth of resources. If you're still in school, learning critical reading in your literature classes applies here: being able to identify themes, character traits, tropes, rhetorical and literary devices, etc. will help you develop your own preferences and taste.

Researching: I use a dictionary and thesaurus whenever I write. I have a whole folder on my computer of writing resources I've compiled over the years. I google things all the time, even really dumb stuff or basic facts just so I'm certain that I got it right. I think the old adage of "write what you know" doesn't mean that you can only write based on your life experience; rather, you can teach yourself about all kinds of subjects and write about them with a degree of certainty without having directly experienced them yourself. For example, when I write fanfiction with a Rivamika baby, I figure out what I need the kid to do (walk, say cute things, etc.) and then research infant development to see how old the child needs to be in order for these things to be realistic. I once got some feedback on Inexorable that Hana was written like a real child, which made me feel amazing because at the time I was literally never around babies. However, I was able to draw on my limited past experiences with other people's kids and my own research to portray a young toddler somewhat accurately.

Editing: It is a massively helpful skill to be able to read your own writing and approach it with a distant, critical eye. I worked on my high school and college newspapers and learned how to edit other people's writing that way. (Beta reading is a good way to practice this skill.) Being edited at the paper also taught me to stop being possessive over my own writing, even when I thought it was brilliant. Writing is about conveying ideas to another person, usually a total stranger, which means clarity is ultimately more important than adding artistic flourishes. I've also recently started using the Grammarly plugin for basic grammar stuff that I tend to forget. This also ties in with reading; the more you read, the more you'll be able to identify and replicate more effective writing, and the easier time you'll have identifying deficiencies in your own writing.

I've written enough already (I wasn't kidding about the novel) so I'll close with one last tip that is universally helpful: read your writing out loud. Most of the time, you can figure out what you want to say simply by verbalizing it or you'll realize, "Oh, no one talks like this, I would have said X in this situation" and that'll help you write more clearly and realistically.

I love talking about writing (obviously), so feel free to inbox me if you have more questions!

#writing #writeblr #writer problems #just writer things #writerslife

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

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Hi! As someone who’s literary opinion I really trust, I was surprised that you’re a twilight fan? I know almost nothing except commen knowledge things about that series, and I always assumed it was actually bad/un-feminist. What is it that you like so much that others seem to miss? I’m just genuinely curious about your take on the hate it always seems to get vs. it’s actual quality. I’m not gonna judge bc animorphs is also one of those books where you see it and assume it’s bad.

In over 14 years of loving this series, I’m not sure anyone has ever asked me why I enjoy it instead of simply trying to convince me that I’m wrong to do so. So thank you for that.

First and foremost, I love the Twilight saga because of the vivid detail in Stephenie Meyer’s writing style. The descriptions are so lush and dense with sensory information that you can practically bite down on them as you read. Bella and Jacob aren’t just sitting on the beach; they’re sitting on a gnarled log of driftwood, worn smooth at the top from where so many Quileute teens have sat upon it during bonfires but still uneven enough to rock on its branches when Bella suddenly stands to rage at her own mortality. Meyer describes that log in Twilight, so tangibly and with such economy of detail, that we recognize it immediately when Bella and Jacob return to that spot in Eclipse. I’ve always disliked the movies, because I’ve always felt that the best part of Meyer’s writing simply did not translate well to the screen.

Secondly, I love the feminism.

Okay, let’s take a quick pause to let everyone gasp and clutch their pearls over me calling Twilight a feminist work. I will address the criticisms later. For now, please just hear me out.

Twilight strikes me as a premier example of what Hélène Cixous means when she calls for “women’s writing,” or writing for women, about women, by women, with a strong focus on the concerns and strengths and desires of womanhood. This is a series about building and maintaining close relationships, both romantic and platonic. It celebrates beauty, and love, and care. Bella moves to Forks because she recognizes that her dad is lonely while her mom is quite the opposite, torn between family priorities. She doesn’t simply subsume her interests to those of other people, but instead actively chooses how and when and where to express her love for her birth family and her found families. Most of the other major decisions throughout the story — Alice “adopting” Bella, Carlisle moving the family to Alaska, Jacob becoming werewolf beta, the Cullens going up against the Volturi, etc. — are motivated by care and devotion for one’s family and friends. Even the selfish or morally ambiguous character choices are shown to be motivated by love. Rosalie tells Edward that Bella died because she genuinely thinks it’ll help him move on. Victoria creates an army that nearly destroys Forks because she’s avenging James. Alice abandons Bella and the others before the final battle because if she can’t save her entire family, then she’ll settle for saving her lover before letting him die in vain.

Not only is there a striking concern with love and care, but there’s also a strong commitment to avoiding violence. Bella’s eventual vamp-superpower proves to be preventing violence and protecting others, an awesome character decision that I’d argue gets set up as early as the first book. She lives in a violent world — this is a YA SF story, after all — but she has the power to suppress violence and create peace, both in herself and others. I was already sick of “power = ability to inflict damage” in YA stories well before I knew the word “patriarchy.” Twilight was one of the first books to convey to me that power could be refusing to do harm in spite of hunger or anger, that power could be shielding ones’ family, that power could be about building enough friendships and alliances to have an army at one’s back when facing an enemy too strong to take on alone.

Closely connected to all of that love and care, I love how much Twilight is about navigating teenage girlhood. Is it empowering, intersectional, or all-inclusive? Hell no. Does it still dare to suggest that a completely ordinary teenage girl could have valid concerns about the world? Yep. The main conflict of the story, as Stephen King so derisively explained, is about the romantic entanglements of a teenage girl, and the book therefore has no literary merit. (To quote my dad’s response: “Bold words from the guy who inflicted Firestarter on the world.”)

There is, indeed, a lot of romance in Twilight. There are a lot of clothes. Alice and Rosalie especially spend a lot of time on makeup, and hair, and choosing the prettiest cars and houses. Twilight embraces all the stereotypically “girly” concerns of adolescence, and makes no effort to apologize for or condemn them. Bella isn’t particularly good at performing them — she likes but doesn’t excel at shopping, fiercely defends her ugly car as ugly, hobbles through prom on crutches — but she can still enjoy the feeling of being pretty in a sparkly dress while dancing with her sparkly boyfriend. And Twilight, like Animorphs with Cassie, takes the daring step of treating that feeling as valid.

Speaking of sparkles, I love the commitment to the fantasy concept in Twilight, including the myriad mundanities that Meyer brings with that commitment. If you have super-speed, why not use it to play extreme baseball? If you’re a mindreader with a clairvoyant sister, why wouldn’t you two play mental chess games? I couldn’t tell you, after seven seasons of Buffy or eight of Vampire Diaries, what Spike or Damien or Angel or Stefan does all day when not brooding or lurking in the bushes to creep on human women. I can tell you what the Cullens get up to. Emmett and Rosalie work on their cars, usually by holding them overhead one-handed. Carlisle and Alice read plays, and sometimes talk the whole family into home Shakespeare productions. Edward and Carlisle debate theology, Emmett and Jasper have dumb athletic competitions, Edward and Esme play music, Alice manipulates stock markets, the twins go shopping online, etcetera. The Cullens feel real, feel like the vampires next door, in a way that Louis and Lestat simply do not.

To get to the elephant in the room — I just described Twilight as a feminist text! — let’s talk about the other thing the Cullens do for fun: they have sex. Weird sex. Kinky furniture-breaking sex. Sex that Emmett (who would know) compares to bear-wrestling. These books suck with regards to queer representation, but they are sex-positive. They feature an old-school Anglican protagonist offering his daughter-in-law a medical abortion. They treat Edward’s desire for sex only within marriage and Alice’s desire for sex outside of marriage as both being valid. Like I said, not groundbreaking, even by the standards of 2005, but still more than most teen novels do even today.

There’s a passage from Breaking Dawn that people love to pull out of context as “everything wrong with Twilight in two paragraphs” because it describes Bella waking up the morning after sex with bruises on her arms. That moment is shocking out of context, to be sure — but in context, it’s the end result of an in-depth consent negotiation that lasts four books. Bella says that she’d like to become a vampire. Edward says okay, but only if she spends a few more years living as a human and considering that choice. Bella says okay, but only if Edward, not Carlisle, becomes the one to turn her. Edward says they can use his venom, but that Carlisle, who’s an MD, really needs to supervise the process. Bella doesn’t love the idea of Edward’s stepdad cockblocking what’s supposed to be an intimate moment, and so agrees only on the grounds that she gets to have sex with Edward as a human first. Edward’s hella Catholic, so he requests that they get married first. Bella’s super horny, so she demands that the wedding happen within six months. Edward says that he might hurt her during sex, and Bella says that she wants a little hurt during sex. They marry. They bang. During the banging, Edward makes every effort to be controlled and courteous and gentile, while Bella goes wild and crazy. The next morning, she has bruises and he does not. Edward apologizes, but Bella’s actually really into it. She spends a while admiring her sexy vamp-marked self in the mirror, touches the bruises many times, and reminds us yet again that Bella Swan’s whole M.O. is being a monsterfucker. Her kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

To be clear, I think there are other aspects of the romance that get criticized for good reason. Edward does not negotiate with Bella before sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, and he does make unacceptable use of their power differences when he thinks she’s in danger of being mauled by werewolves. The text condemns Jacob’s “don’t wanna die a virgin” ploy to manipulate a kiss out of Bella, but not the wider conceit of all the male characters as possessing uncontrollable urges. Bella’s struggles to adjust to a new town feel very feminine and realistic; her amused tolerance of Jacob’s and Mike’s sexual harassment as the price for their friendship does not. Werewolf imprinting might be mostly platonic, but that doesn’t make it okay for Meyer to depict it as a form of soulmate bonding that happens with child characters. Those are good points, all around. I just wish that most of them didn’t come up in the context of post-hoc rationalizations for loathing the femininity of a feminine text.

I’m not calling Twilight an unproblematic series. I’m saying that it gets (rightly!) criticized for appropriating Quileute culture, while Buffy’s total absence of main characters of color and blatant anti-Romani racism are (wrongly!) not remarked upon. I'm saying that I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for liking Twilight but not for liking James Bond. I’m saying that there’s a reason people tend to go “oh, that makes so much sense!” when I let them in on the fact that reactive hatred for “Twitards” started and spread on 4Chan, later home of Gamergate and incel culture. I’m saying that Twilight depicts problematic relationship dynamics as sexy — but then so do Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, Supernatural, Vladimir Tod, and Vampire Diaries. All of which take the time to stop and thumb their noses at Twilight, smug in the superiority of having vampires that fly rather than vampires that sparkle, and for thoroughly condemning teenage girls for being girly while continuing to show men inflicting violence on them.

After all, as Erin May Kelly puts it: “we live in a world taught to hate everything to do with little girls. We hate the books they read and the bands they like. Is there anything the world makes fun of more than One Direction and Twilight?” No one has ever called me a misogynist for liking the MCU, in spite of less than a third of its movies even managing to clear the low-low bar of the Bechdel test. Because people are still allowed to like Harry Potter in spite of its racism, or Lord of the Rings despite its imperialism. Because hatred for Twilight was never about its very real sexism, or the genuinely silly sparkle-vampires, until it had to justify itself as something other than hate for everything that teenage girls have ever dared openly love.

I enjoy the novels, and I enjoy the fan fiction that tries to fix some of the problems with the novels. I appreciate the extent to which Meyer has elevated fan culture, and made an effort to acknowledge her own past mistakes. I would love to be able to talk about my love for the series as a flawed but beautiful work of literature, but for now I’ll settle for asking that the world just let me enjoy it in peace.

#twilight #the twilight saga #breaking dawn #eclipse #new moon #stephenie meyer #fandom #nothing to do with animorphs #misogyny #ableist language #sexist language #long post #sexism #romance #anonymous #asks

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Sky Full Of Stars - CH01

Sequel to Something Just Like This

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, ex mobster boss, still a little cocky, less ruthless and not at all short tempered anymore. Instead, he thinks he’s hilarious (she doesn’t agree, though). They both try to live a quiet life. And Dean hopes, very hard, that his former life won’t come knocking at their door.

Warnings: Mostly fluff, a little implied smut and a dash of angst for good measure.

WC: 2111

A/N: This is it. This is the start to the life after. I hope you enjoy reading.

SERIES MASTERLIST

They had stayed the weekend in the house and moved in a week later, but Dean didn’t sell his building, and didn't rent out his apartment either. Although he wanted to get out of his former life, the apartment worked as a stepping stone to where he is now. He couldn’t part from it, no matter how hard he might have wanted to (which is not very hard, he has to admit).

Y/N said he’s too sentimental and yeah, maybe he is. After all, the great thing they have now, the love that built throughout their relationship, it all started in that very apartment, and he likes to keep it as a memento, finds some kind of weird solace in it, which she thinks it’s creepy, but she doesn’t protest, because he knows for a fact that she thinks the same. So, he guesses, that they’re both creeps in a way. It takes one to know one. It takes one to love one, either.

He also reckons that they could use it as a city resident. Not that he has any business in the city anymore, wouldn’t even want to anyway, but he never knows, right? It certainly doesn’t hurt him in any way, shape or form to keep the building — and the apartment for that matter — so he leaves everything as it is. He didn’t change anything in the papers either, just to be extra sure for when his old life comes knocking.

Dean has to make sure to not leave any trails, because even if he’s out, there are still people who are butthurt he screwed them over (even though they all deserved it) and who knows when they’ll realize it and would come after him. Better safe than sorry and Dean needs to always be a step ahead. That’s how he got here in the first place.

He likes to have control over his life. Feels the need to control every aspect of it, and it scares him shitless that even though he made it this far, there are things that are out of his control. Like Y/N for example, or the baby. It frightens him as much as it reassures him. It’s weird, he knows, but he has no control over his own feelings either, not when he’s with her.

The new house is bought and registered under the name of the trust fund he set up a couple of days before he bought it. Nobody knows about it, not even Sam, although Sammy would give him hell if he knew because he’d be bummed Dean didn’t go to him in the first place but Dean couldn’t take that chance. There’s always a possibility that someone will come knocking and he’d rather Sam doesn’t know about anything at all. He’d rather, if worse come to worst, Sammy wouldn’t have to decide over his own life or Dean’s.

He had also made sure that the new house has proper security. It’s weird, Dean thinks. Even though he wants to leave his old life behind, it sticks like gum to the soles of his shoes. There’s no way that he’s going to shake it off completely, so the best thing he can do is to look forward and work with the means he has. It’s crazy what money can buy and Dean’s not shying away from using it because if he wouldn’t use it for that what’s really the point of having so much. They really don’t need a lot to get by. Dean has more money than he’ll ever be needing.

Now, with a baby on its way, Dean thinks about his future more thoroughly. Occasionally wondering what he will tell his kid once it’s old enough to ask questions. Questions on how they met (that one is easy: a bar, she was a barmaid, he was a regular customer), questions of what he does for a living (that one is a little harder to answer), why they both don’t work (Dean hopes that by that time his child could question that, he and Y/N would both be working again, not really what he did before, but just something to pass the time). They take it one day at a time though. He’s anxious enough as it is at the moment.

One thing that Dean never thought that he would get, though, is a dog. Never in a million years. Well, to be fair, he also never thought that he’d be getting a cat and ended up with two at one point. They adopted a puppy. A Belgian Shepherd, because Dean had the protection of his family in mind, too. The dog is loyal right from the start and he’s actually Dean’s dog, like Bubbles is her cat.

Dean’s the one who takes care of the dog, goes out for walks, trains him, goes to obedience school, picks up his poo, feeds him. But even if Dean is the one who’s doing all of this, the dog still likes Y/N more because he goes to her for cuddles. He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong, seriously. Dean gets it though, she’s his favorite person too, doesn’t blame the animals for one bit, is only a little annoyed when they’re all lying on the sofa cuddling and there’s no room left for him.

Maybe though, maybe he should not let Y/N name the animals around this house anymore either. For some unknown reasons, she started to call him Truffles and the dog fucking listened to her. Dean tried to counter it with Hulk but all he got from the dog was a glare and if the dog could raise an eyebrow, he would have. It is not really fucking fair but he get what he gets, right?

She joked once that Truffles is somehow like Dean. All tough and angry looking on the outside but deep down, he’s just a cinnamon roll. Dean doesn’t agree.

So now, they are living in a house with Bubbles and Truffles and there’s a baby on its way. If five years ago, someone would have told him that his future would look like this, he’d be laughing them straight in the face, maybe beat them up for talking bullshit, just because he could. Joke’s on him.

Y/N’s working in her art room since she woke up this morning. She’s finished with painting the walls and is now decorating and maybe she’s already painting something. He wouldn’t know, because he hasn’t seen her since they woke up together. Hasn’t seen her since he made her come on his cock and they took a shower together after. The carpenter showed up while he was still showering and he had to get out quick and left her behind.

They are exchanging the flooring of their terrace and now Dean’s helping him because it’s faster that way.

Dean walked around on the terrace three days ago but then he took a step on rotten wood, which saw his leg being eaten up by the flooring. Y/N had to come help him out but of course not without taking a picture first. She had to take a couple too because her hands were shaking from all the laughing. It’s her home screen now and he hates it.

So, he had to call in a carpenter because if Dean has to do all of that on his own either, he’ll never be finished on time. And by on time, he means by the time the baby comes, which according to google MD should be next Spring but he’d rather have everything in place already before Winter arrives.

They don’t know the exact due date because they haven’t been in for an ultrasound yet, it would be too early to see anything now, she told him, but she has made an appointment in two weeks time, so they’re both pretty excited for that. Excited might not be the right word. Panicked, terrified, frightened might fit better.

He heard a lot about morning sicknesses and he thought that she’d have it too at first because she felt nauseous to the point that she has to throw up the vitamins she’s been taking since she knew about the pregnancy. Turns out, she should maybe not have taken them on an empty stomach. Lessons learned.

***

They’re at her OB/GYN, which was a recommendation from Anna, and Dean walks around in the tiny space while she lies there and waits for the doctor to arrive.

There’s a big poster hanging on a wall where they show the different stages of pregnancy and Dean’s looking at that. When he reaches the last stage, he starts to sweat even more, feels a little light headed and maybe he feels nauseous too, wouldn’t want to admit it though, so he swallows down his feelings.

He’s nervous, and was sweating bullets already on his way here. Y/N had to hold his hand the whole time while he drove. And it’s stupid, really. He’s a big guy, a big bad guy, and he really shouldn’t be nervous about an ultrasound, right? Right.

“Dean,”

“Huh?” He blinks awake from his daydream. Or is it called daymares? Because he didn’t have one good thought when he zoned out.

“My god, I have been calling you twice already.”

“‘M sorry,” He mumbles and walks over to her, sits on the stool next to the examination bed. She takes his hand, squeezes it and he leans down, kisses her forehead, “Just really nervous.”

“I should be nervous. They will ram a dick shaped ultrasound stick into my pussy not yours.”

“They what?” Dean braces his elbows on the examination bed, his hand still holding hers. “I thought the ultrasound will be made on your belly,” Because he remembers seeing pictures and videos of women with big belly’s getting gels applied on their stomach.

“Yeah, I thought so too.” Y/N says, “But they informed me after I gave them my pee example.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” Dean chuckles, it’s hard not to, but then he leans over to peck her lips.

“I’d rather get dicked down by your cock than an ultrasound stick, to be honest.”

Dean snorts out a laugh because at the exact moment she said it, the doctor opens the door to the room and steps in.

The doctor explains everything to them and now Dean’s even more nervous as he sits with her, his hands are sweating and he feels little droplets of sweats on his forehead, is afraid to brush at them because the doctor would think that he’s a fucking wimp.

Finally the time comes where the doctor sticks the stick up her vagina and she flinches, while Dean tries to ease out the crease between her eyebrows with the pad of his thumb. Dean should not get aroused by the thought of something dick shaped going into her, but he does, which is really absolutely stupid and immature of him.

They both have their eyes on the screen but all they see is black and occasionally there’s a white blotch. The doctor goes deeper and Y/N flinches again while Dean tries to think of something super unsexy.

“There you go,” The doctor smirks and Dean squints his eyes, tries to make out fucking something.

And then it hits him like a freight train because the doctor turns up the speaker volume and Dean not only sees it, but also hears it. A nervous thudding sound. The same pace as that white little thing flickering on the screen.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” The doctor says and Dean thinks he’s never heard a sentence more beautiful than this one, maybe except when Y/N’s begging for him to spank her harder, or to choke her or all the things she says in bed, really. But this sentence, uttered from a complete stranger right now, is a whole other level of beautiful. It fills him with pride, with joy, with something he classifies as hope.

Y/N’s tears pool around at the corner of her eyes and it runs down the side of her face, over her cheeks. Dean brushes it away with his thumb, and she looks at him then. There’s a smile on her face but also he can see that she’s scared because it makes everything more real now with knowing that there’s another heart beating below her own.

He’s teary too, can’t hide it anymore but doesn’t want to cry in a doctor's office though, so he swallows it down, kisses her instead, makes his face wet with her tears to cover his own.

CH02

#sky full of stars #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #dean x reader #nathalie writes

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spnreactions · 4 years

Text

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time!

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away.

Anyways! Let’s get down to it!

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this.

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box.

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross.

Jesus girls, chill.

Okay, I already like the pastor.

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that.

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice.

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay.

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!!

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!!

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is.

Darkness. Nice pun.

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen.

SCENE FROM THE PROMO!

Sure they can.

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content.

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name?

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?”

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!!

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that.

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god.

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all?

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle.

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign.

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part.

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot.

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3

“Because Zack has style.”

WAIT!!!

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!!

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did.

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did!

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD

“I would watch that show.” XD XD

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell?

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her.

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD

Zack is so desperate.

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true.

Awww...Jack.

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!!

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3

She’s gonna steal the money.

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll*

Ope. And now she’s gonna die.

AHHHH!!

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!!

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ.

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay.

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other.

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD

Oof. Jesus.

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing.

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then.

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop.

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”.

No, but did any of us?

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet.

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did.

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf.

HA! JACK! XD

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD

Jack you dork. XD <3

Geez girl. Be nice.

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3

So that’s a yes then.

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her.

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3

Oh. That was a sweet hug.

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy.

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing!

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that?

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that?

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing.

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing?

Awww...baby. :(

Awww...Jack. :( :(

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you.

Oh okay. That’s okay.

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell.

Oof. Daddy issues alert.

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :(

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God.

Oh okay then.

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”.

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo.

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent.

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show.

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas.

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude.

Ha! Awkward. XD

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet.

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :(

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.”

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him.

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate!

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!!

Oh heeeey girl.

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair.

She...she...smelled them?

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD

I like this Amara. She’s fun.

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD

Oh boy.

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her.

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy.

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :(

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good.

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!!

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3

FRIIIICK.

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else.

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother.

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness.

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara.

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions.

Sure there is.

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways.

Oh. Just like that?

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother.

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD

Sure he can.

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways.

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now?

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo.

Called it!

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it!

Welp...guess it’s not him.

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us!

THERE we go. Go get her Dean.

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now.

Oof. You tell her, Dean.

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does.

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways.

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too.

Is it, though?

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice.

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara.

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we?

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow.

Awww....poor Dean.

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy?

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has.

OOH! He got her!

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER!

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true.

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean.

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!!

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it.

Yep. Daughter.

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD!

See?! Super religious people are crazy!!

Go Cas and Jack go!

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go!

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof.

Girl has ISSUES.

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill.

Yeah, cause you need help.

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!!

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work.

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas?

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing.

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then.

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much.

Man that girl is MESSED UP.

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood.

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!!

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL!

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay?

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this.

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right.

Wait WHAT?!

HOLD ON!!!

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!!

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!!

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!!

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!!

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!!

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Me too, Cas!!!

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!!

NO! WHAT IS THAT?!

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!!

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now.

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!!

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off.

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!!

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!!

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!!

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO!

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold.

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened:

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am.

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it.

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD

That said, let’s get down to it.

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this:

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God.

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!!

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU!

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen.

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously).

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way.

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim.

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it.

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory.

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning.

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next.

My Rating: 8/10

#my review #my reactions #spn #season 15 #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #15x15 #gimme shelter #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #cas and jack #sam and dean #spn 15x15 #spn reactions #ratings #personal

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thedormdietitian · 4 years

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Why I’m Leaving the Field

Hi everyone!

It’s been quiiiiiiite a while since I’ve posted on here, and I’m really sorry about that! One perk of quarantine is that I’ve had a whole lot of extra free time, so here we are.

In my last post (done almost 2 years ago....how?!), I shared my thoughts on the lack of jobs for dietitians. Well, shortly after posting that, I was fortunate to land a job in the world of inpatient dietetics. It was in my dream area and I was thrilled to a) have a full time job and b) have it be in the area I have my degrees in. In today’s rather pathetic millennial society, I recognize how lucky I am to have a job that fits both of those categories. But anyways, as you can tell by the title of this post, I will (hopefully) be leaving this job, and this field, soon.

I’ll try to keep this post short and sweet, but I have to admit that I never thought I would actually be writing this. I was a young, spry 18 year old when I decided on this career. I was slightly obnoxious over how proud I was for never changing my major and I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Maybe this is payback? I truly thought this was the career for me and I didn’t let anything get in the way of that. There were many times during both undergrad and grad school that I wanted to quit, but I did not let anything get in my way. I was so beyond determined to hurry up and graduate and start my dream career, and I was ecstatic to land the job that I did.

Now that I’m looking back, I realized this career wasn’t for me during my internship. On my second day of my clinical rotations, I cried on my whole drive home. After a whole two days at my rotation site, I knew didn’t chose the right career. I’ve never told ANYONE this because I was so embarrassed that it took me years of schooling to realize that; and here I am, in a coveted and competitive internship, realizing that this wasn’t what I wanted. So, I sucked it up and just told myself I was overreacting, and that there was no way in hell I would quit the internship because I was lucky to be there. It took me quite a while to grapple that idea.

Now, to get to the why am I leaving the field? I’ve been at my job for a while now. Again, I realize, especially now, how fortunate I am to even have a job, let alone contemplate a career change. But, if this helps anyone thinking of becoming a dietitian, then I’m glad I put this out here. Here are the reasons why I am leaving the field:

-We have to get permission for EVERYTHING. This is possibly what bothers me the most. Everyone I work with has advanced degrees, tons of experience, and credentials, yet we have to ask permission to do the very things that we’ve been trained to do. Want to order a vitamin level? Call the doctor. Want to change tube feeds because the patient is off the ventilator? Call the doctor. Want to correct your patient’s diet order? Call the doctor. At my hospital, we are the only group of providers that has to get permission to do anything. I see MDs order speech evals, or PT/OT evals, and they just say “evaluate and treat”. No physical therapist is calling the doctor to see if it’s ok to do this certain exercise on a patient. Even if we get an order for tube feeds, we have to call the doctor (who ordered the consult) to see if, yes, they truly want tube feeds. Doctors don’t have a clue what exercises should be done, just like they don’t know what tube feeds a patient should be on. I’m not slamming doctors at all; that’s why different specialties and careers exist. But why can’t dietitians be treated like other professions? It’s ridiculous to call to get permission to DO OUR JOBS.

-The pay. I knew I wouldn’t be a millionaire as a dietitian, but I didn’t think the pay would be that dismal. Sitting in the office everyday, at least one person complains about not having enough money. Our raises are very small and are automatic; we get them each year whether we are good at our job or not. There are no incentives to perform better. I’m a strong believer in working hard because that’s what you should do, but it gets pretty dang annoying to see people in other careers who get lucrative bonuses for simply doing things required for their jobs. At my workplace, you don’t get extra pay if you get your CNSC/CDE/etc, see extra patients, come in early, or anything else. Your pay doesn’t change except for your yearly raise. Hearing my coworkers complain about money on the daily really starts to get to me, especially after working so hard to get here. A few of my coworkers have worked at my workplace for 30+ years and don’t even come close to making $70k. Hearing that they can’t afford to do needed house repairs, or fix their cars, or even go on vacation with their kids gets really depressing. I even have a coworker who has to give up her shift if her mom can’t watch her kids because she can’t afford to pay for childcare. You wouldn’t think any of those things would be a concern working in healthcare! Dietitians work insanely hard to even become a dietitian, and our jobs are demanding. Our pay needs to reflect that. See my previous post for salary comparisons in healthcare careers. I had a professor in undergrad who said dietitians will only be successful financially if their spouses are the breadwinners. I brushed her comment off at first, but after working in the field, SHE WAS RIGHT. I have a lot of coworkers, and the ones who are truly happy in this field are the ones that have spouses who are breadwinners. Because money DOES matter. I want to be able to take care of myself, buy things I need, fix things that break, and yes, go on vacation. I don’t even have kids yet, but the number of times I’ve already thought about not being able to afford things for them freaks me out. I’ve known dietitians who work for WIC who are on WIC themselves.That is not even slightly ok. I am not shaming those who use WIC; but to be a dietitian and meet the salary requirements for WIC is mind-boggling. Your education is an investment; you want a solid return on that investment. If you’ve ever paid for a dietetic internship, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

-Lack of leadership. Sorry, but I can’t stand the Academy. Using my example of physical therapists again, their “academy” fought for them to raise their pay and to improve the field, and they did. The only advancement in our field is the new “RDN” credential, which, frankly, just brings more confusion on who we are and tacks on the word “nutritionist”, something that 99.9% of dietitians hate being called. The Academy is also requiring all RD’s to have Masters degrees by 2024. I interviewed for quite a few jobs, and having a Masters does nothing for your duties/responsibilities, and results in a very minimal salary adjustment. We can do better. Making it even harder to enter into this field or slightly changing our name won’t help anyone.

-Lack of support for the field. Excluding FNCE, have you ever been to a dietitian conference? They’re usually in a random hall at hospital. Have you ever seen a conference for other health professions? They’re usually at a gorgeous resort on an island. Because of our poor pay, very few dietitians are actually able to support their profession financially. This results in lackadaisical events that are frankly depressing to be at. It’s not about the glitz and glamour; its about supporting the profession and being enthusiastic about it. These events that are held should make people want to join our profession, not run the other way.

-Job outlook. As a clinical inpatient dietitian, I don’t see my exact position being around for much longer. Especially with losses in revenue amongst hospitals due to COVID, I truly (and unfortunately) think this position will eventually be phased out. In my city, a lot of hospitals have already started cutting their clinical inpatient diet techs, and I think dietitians are next. And it kills me to say that, because our job is needed. But since nurses can (and have) been doing our educations, pharmacy can order TPNs, and residents can stumble through ordering tube feeds, I think our job has shifted into the “not really necessary but nice to have” category. Which really, really sucks. But even in the few years I’ve been a dietitian, I’ve seen the shift. I think outpatient and community RD jobs will always be there, but I think inpatient dietitians are going to be a thing of the past very soon. Starting your own business has become more popular. If you can make it work, go for it. There is a dietitian “business coach” who started her own Instagram business after realizing clinical just isn’t where it’s at, and that new clinical jobs are becoming few and far between. And honestly, she’s right. Post-pandemic, look at the number of job opportunities in your area. It’s a shrinking number.

So that’s that. I’m sure this came off as negative, but someone needs to be telling others this. As much as I love nutrition and am passionate about helping those improve their health with nutrition, this career just isn’t worth it. I hope to always use my RD roots in my next career and I don’t regret the years of schooling I’ve done. But if you’re considering this route, I want you to recognize that this career isn’t even close to what your professors have chalked it up to be. If anything, if you are in college right now, GO SHADOW. Shadow inpatient, shadow outpatient, go see what the job is like. See how happy they are in their jobs, learn their salaries, learn what they love, what they don’t love, and truly see if you can see yourself in this job. That’s what I would tell my 18 year old self, and it’s what I’m telling you as well.

xoxo,

The Dorm Dietitian

#dietitian #registered dietitian #rd #rdn #nutrition #dietetics #college

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dead-fandom-society · 4 years

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Contrary to popular belief, Gregory House is not an INTJ, Here’s Why: An Analysis.

I spewed this out at 1AM, so apologies for any mistakes. I’ve been thinking about his character for a while, and I finally got around to actually doing somewhat of an analysis.

TLDR: House’s cognitive functions show him to be more likely an ENTP than an INTJ.

We all know and love (or possibly hate, I don’t know) the 8-season medical drama, House MD, which follows the manic and drug addicted physician, Gregory House, and his unconventionally brilliant methods for chasing zebras while circling the drain. House is meant to be portrayed as a modern day, medical version of Sherlock Holmes— he is a prickly and arrogant genius with a penchant for solving puzzles. The personality type of Sherlock Holmes has been long debated as whether he is a judger or a perceiver, as has the personality type of House, one incarnation of the infamous mastermind Holmes. In this essay, I will analyze the personality type of Gregory House and outline reasons supporting the fact that he is not the type that he is widely regarded as.

First and foremost, House is a genius. Due to stereotypes surrounding the INTJ type, any character in the media who is portrayed as being smart, antisocial, and logical is most of the time typed automatically— and incorrectly— as an INTJ. Two examples would be obviously Holmes, and the subject of this essay, House. Due to House’s mastermind personality and quick, logical thinking, he is often dubbed an INTJ, akin to Holmes (the irony in this is that Holmes isn’t even an INTJ, he’s closer to an INTP, but that’s not the point here). There are many misconceptions due to simply the fact that he is smart and good at solving puzzles. This essay is going to focus on typing more than stereotyping to get a better look at the truth.

On the topic of his type, House is definitely an intuitive (N) and a thinker (T). He likes to come up with possibilities more than focusing on what’s right in front of him and concrete, hence why he works in such a specialized field of medicine. Usually, if a person has a high fever and a sore throat, the typical doctor will immediately think strep or tonsillitis. The typical doctor will think common, simple possibilities, whereas House immediately jumps to the rarest conditions he can think of. This is akin to the dominant Ne function, also known as Extroverted Intuition. We see in nearly every episode that House likes to brainstorm, usually using a whiteboard, about possibilities. He likes to share his ideas with others before eventually coming to an epiphany. His final diagnosis usually comes to him randomly, after the thought is set off like in a “lightbulb” moment. His ideas are spontaneous and often outlandish.

The hunch that House’s dominant cognitive function is Ne is also supported by the methods he uses to diagnose and treat patients. Firstly, he often comes up with extremely creative and inventive ideas to diagnose a disease after nothing else has worked. Instead of using the conventional MRI or blood test, House will often experiment on the patient by pushing their body to a limit in some way, elaborately tricking them, etc. in order to find the underlying condition. When he is faced with a roadblock, he is creative in finding his way around it. He is impulsive and his methods are often outlandish, which also supports the fact that he is a perceiver and not a judger. Judgers typically like to plan things out, while perceivers are spontaneous and are more prone to act on impulse.

Another fact about his character that leads to the selection of Ne for his dominant function lies in the fact that he is an extrovert. Contrary to popular belief due to his misanthropic outlook and general distaste when it comes to interacting with people, House thrives when he is with company. His character needs it, which is part of the reason why he needs his team. He needs someone to bounce his ideas off of, which is why when his team isn’t around, he is often seen consulting Wilson or Cuddy to simply share his ideas with them and look for feedback, which indicates dominant Ne. Bouncing his ideas off of people for feedback is crucial to his method, and he wouldn’t be able to solve his puzzles as effectively without it. He is at his peak when he is with company. He needs company, and he needs someone to bounce ideas off of, which is characteristic of extroverted intuition. Not to mention, he will talk to anyone that is around him if he’s not alone—he’s not shy, to say the least. Although his character dislikes people and is constantly shown to think they are all “idiots,” he thrives when with company. He is often mistaken for an introvert due to his distaste for people, but his “introversion” is rooted in his past and current problems that resulted in major trust issues. He is antisocial because he is depressed and traumatized, not because he necessarily does better alone. If it weren’t for his past, he would be seen as a more typical extrovert. Being antisocial doesn’t necessarily equate with being an introvert.

Let’s talk stereotypes for a bit. House is prone to arguments, there’s no doubt about that. He often says whatever is on his mind to whoever will listen, simply for shock value and effect in a conversation. This is stereotypical to dissenter/debater types like ENTP. When he does argue with someone, he is quick to his point and logical, and he often uses creative metaphors to support his points— another characteristic of dominant Ne that is often seen in ENTP.

As mentioned before, House is also a thinker. This is obvious. He never acts based on his feelings, and in fact, he is often shown to not care for feelings at all. He acts purely on logic— while it is impulsive, it is based on facts that he knows rather than “gut” feelings. He always has an explainable reason behind his outlandish methods, which supports the fact that he is clear-cut facts over feelings— a reason why there is the recurring inner conflict with his character and religion. House has to find a rational explanation for everything, and when he does, it is clear that he did not take his feelings into account when formulating the aforementioned explanations. He always has a reason that he can back up. His secondary function is most likely Ti, introverted thinking.

His logical thinking and search for truth is also crucial to him solving his medical “puzzles,” and unlike in an INTJ, is often the second step to his method. In introverted intuitive types like INTJ, the subject looks at the main problem before brainstorming solutions, whereas extroverted intuitive types like ENTP brainstorm a bunch of possibilities for what the problem could be before coming up with reasoning and solutions for them. Think of a tree: an INTJ (dominant Ni, secondary Te) starts with the big picture, the trunk of the tree, and works upwards brainstorming other ideas that eventually branch out into possible solutions. An ENTP (dominant Ne, secondary Ti), however, starts with the branches and works their way towards the trunk. This is seen in House— he starts with a bunch of ideas and then narrows them down to one solution as he discovers more information.

House’s tertiary function is Fe, extroverted feeling. Tertiary Fe is the function that allows its user to connect with others and be able to read them, in a sense. Tertiary Fe often includes “social strategizing,” which can be summed up as the ability to “read” a social situation, understand how others feel, and use it to an advantage. Once again, although he exhibits antisocial tendencies, House is very good at reading people, and he is very persuasive when need be. House does this with his patients. He picks up on small clues about a person— whether it be the way they move their fingers, or they way they do their hair— and uses it to sum up the patient’s entire life and motives. Once he has assumed enough about a person, he uses what he has picked up about their lifestyle to aid in his diagnosis, and to manipulate them. House has demonstrated multiple times that by using his knowledge of the patient’s lifestyle, he can conclude things about their personalities and motives, and he can often pick up on their feelings towards a certain situation and use those feelings to persuade and manipulate the patient into a treatment that they initially refused.

Lastly, is the inferior function, which in House’s case, would be Si (introverted sensing). In a subject with dominant Ne, inferior Si manifests itself as resistance to conformity, which is something that we definitely see in good old Dr. House. His inferior introverted sensing prevents him from being satisfied with obeying rules, as we see a lot in his unconventional methods that often land him in trouble with the hospital’s administration, or even the law. House’s Si never developed fully, which leaves him with the refusal of settling down and obeying societal norms or set rules. He just doesn’t care, and often questions or argues the reasoning behind the rules that keep him from doing whatever. Subjects with inferior Si often are eccentric in their ways of life, as is House. He has trouble with rules and set boundaries, and he would rather do whatever the fuck he wants, and while being aware of the rules, he simply disregards them in favor of his own interests. He is also incredibly reckless and has no regard for possible consequences he may end up facing. He is also never seen doing anything that doesn’t interest him, and he tends to only focus on things that he is passionate about.

In conclusion, although Dr. Gregory House is often typed as an INTJ due to his knack for solving puzzles, his character is much deeper than that and his type ends up aligning more with that of an ENTP. I’ll leave this open to discussion: what do you, my imaginary followers, think about his type?

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crippleprophet · 4 years

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Hey so im the anon from spacemancharisma whose boss said I cant use my cane without a doctors note. Tbh my doctor never suggested I use one I got it for myself cus it made it easier to move with my fibro. Idek if my doctor would even give me a doctor's note

hey, thank you for reaching out! first of all i’m incredibly sorry that happened to you, that’s really rude and ableist and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

i’m basing this info on the assumption that you’re in the US, so if that’s not the case, let me know and i’ll try to connect you to some resources with better info for your area. basically, under the ADA, an employer does have the right to request documentation from an “appropriate medical professional” (this could be a physical therapist, for example, not necessarily an MD) if you are requesting an accommodation in the workplace. if you aren’t requesting an accommodation, i can’t find anything that indicates that there’s any legal precedent whatsoever for requiring documentation for you to use a mobility aid.

if you are not requesting accommodations, then based on the source that jack linked (here), “Once you have been hired and started work, your employer cannot require that you take a medical examination or ask questions about your disability unless they are related to your job and necessary for the conduct of your employer's business.” well okay, but necessary is kind of vague, so the clarifying literature is that “a disability-related inquiry or medical examination of an employee may be ‘job-related and consistent with business necessity’ when an employer ‘has a reasonable belief, based on objective evidence, that: (1) an employee's ability to perform essential job functions will be impaired by a medical condition; or (2) an employee will pose a direct threat due to a medical condition.’” (source)

this means that your employer is not even allowed to ask a question about your cane (why you need it, how often you used it, etc) unless they believe that needing a mobility aid will impair your ability to do your job. that being said, i don’t know what your job is, and obviously your employer is the one in a position of power here, so you’ll need to take some time to think about how this could play out—is there a reason your employer could question your ability to perform your job due to your disability? if so, how will you respond to those questions? would you rather, as jack mentioned, just go with it and try to get a doctor’s note now, or potentially have to get one later if they try to argue that something such as taking more time in tasks that require standing is an accommodation and demand documentation? there’s no right or wrong answer, but it is important to know how you want to continue. i recommend reading the source on the previous paragraph because it has good examples about what does or does not qualify as a reason to require documentation. there’s also some helpful info here.

that being said, if there’s no safety risk or decreased performance due to your disability, if you are requesting an accommodation that abled employees already receive, or if your employer tries to claim that something you’re doing that abled employees are also allowed to do is an accommodation for your disability, you still don’t have to provide documentation. from the job accommodation network: “If an employer makes adjustments for employees without disabilities, like flexible scheduling or telework, [...] available to all employees as a matter of policy or practice, employees with disabilities should not have to jump through unnecessary hoops by providing medical documentation to receive the same benefit, even if needed because of a disability.” (it gets into really complicated territory if there’s something that some employees are allowed but not all, such as managers but not general employees, and in that case it tends to be a “the house always wins” scenario where disabled people have to provide documentation or in some cases are denied the accommodation altogether depending on the circumstances.)

so, if you aren’t requesting an accommodation abled employees in your position don’t already receive, and there’s no safety risk or impaired ability to do your job, then your employer cannot require documentation. keep in mind, though, that reasonable accommodations are legally a very broad category—which is great in some ways, because it means these things are required to be provided to folks with proper documentation, but it can be really hard for people like us who have a difficult time obtaining that documentation. legally, accommodations include: “providing or modifying equipment or devices, job restructuring, part-time or modified work schedules, reassignment to a vacant position, adjusting or modifying examinations, training materials, or policies, providing readers and interpreters, and making the workplace readily accessible to and usable by people with disabilities.” (source) so it depends on your specific circumstances whether your employer could argue that, for example, your job was restructured or your schedule was modified to accommodate your use of a cane. again, the issue here is not that they can require permission for you to use the cane itself—that’s your body and your business—but rather that they can argue that you using a cane implies an impaired ability to do your job or a need for an accommodation, both of which they can require medical documentation for.

lastly, as someone who uses several mobility aids, none of which were prescribed to me, and has struggled a lot to obtain documentation of my disability that i’ve never successfully received, i want to add that you know your body best and if your cane helps you, then it’s a good thing and you shouldn’t need anyone’s permission to use it. i’m really sorry that there are circumstances in which outside permission could be required of you, but i hope that your doctor, if not your employer, is understanding if it comes to that. (there’s also a strong possibility that even if you needed documentation of having fibro, you could obtain this without your doctor needing to know about or mention your cane but instead focus on the reasons you need your cane—pain, fatigue, etc—and how that affects your job and accommodations you may need.) like i mentioned earlier, this documentation doesn’t necessarily have to come from an MD, so if you know of a physical therapist or something who might be more affirming, that could be an option, too.

i wish you all the best and again i’m so sorry! i know this was incredibly long but i hope it helps. keep in mind that i’m not a lawyer although i do have some experience with disability advocacy around ADA violations, but please feel free to let me know if you have any other questions 💙♿️💙

#ableism #ada #americans with disabilities act #disability #actuallydisabled #chronic pain #mobility aids #ok to reblog #mac.txt #long post #asks

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