#but then i rewatch that scene and i know this line comes and my brain just

[kyri45]

A final letter

Hello Everyone!

The queue is paused and everything is scheduled, which means we are ready for the finale!

I know that, in the end, this was just a silly side project for me, with everything else going on in my life. But for this occasion, I wanted to drop some words here and hope they make sense.

I started watching LMK only because a friend told me there was a "Sonadow-coded" ship. I ended up consuming the entire thing in one sitting on July 10th, 2024. At the time, I was still recovering from a bike accident that had left me with a broken right forearm—unable to draw for a little over a month. (I did try drawing with my left finger, but it wasn't exactly fun.)

Not only that, but it was summer, and I couldn’t enjoy the season or practice my main sport, windsurfing. To say I was feeling the blues is an understatement. I remember being in physical pain just from not being able to draw my sillies. But then, watching LMK did something to my brain chemistry that my little undiagnosed autistic self had never experienced before. It hit so hard that I’ve been physically unable to rewatch the show SINCE that very first day. (And y’all still call me the CEO of this fandom. Bro, I just work here.)

A lot of you have asked what inspired me to start this comic or to draw LMK fan art in the first place. While my usual answer is, "I saw Shadowpeach and thought MK could be their lovechild, given his appearance," the moment that actually started it all was THIS ONE—

(I HAD TO REWATCH THIS SCENE TO MAKE THE GIF AND IT HURT ME ON A MOLECOLAR LEVEL)

I have… a thing for characters who discover their entire identity was something else all along. It consumes my thoughts, my dreams, my every waking moment. I live for identity crises, for characters who thought they knew who they were, only to be forced to rediscover themselves, their existence, and their place in the world. If you give me a story where a character has to go through that, I will like it—regardless of how bad the rest of the story is.

Pair that with loads of trauma, daddy issues, the pressure of a legacy, and world-ending stakes, and congrats! Now I’m obsessed, and I will not stop thinking about it for the rest of my days!

At first, my brain just wanted to release some of that energy with a small, four-panel post about the monkeys discovering that MK was technically their kid.

That was supposed to be it.

But since I never seem to learn my lesson, it didn’t stay like that. Because once I started drawing, I just... continued.

And

I

never

stopped.

A lot of you have also asked how I found the motivation to draw so much, to never take a break. Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it one last time: I am my number one fan. No matter how much you laughed, cried, screamed, or went feral over this story, I did all of that and more. Because I got to think about the chapters months before they released. I got to daydream about them. I got to watch them come to life—first through sketches, then line art, then dialogue. And finally, I got to witness your reactions and see the incredible creations you made, inspired by my story.

So yeah, in a way, it was almost an addiction. A good addiction. Because, for the first time in my life, I actually understood what loving art means.

I’ve been drawing for ten years, working professionally for five, but I never loved art before. I just liked it because I happened to be good at it. But creating this comic made me understand why artists say, "Oh, I’ve loved drawing since I was a child!" This was the first time I allowed myself to create purely for my own enjoyment. Something I hadn’t had the privilege to do for a long time.

Other than making me feel even more single than I already was, this story somehow also helped me a little with my own family relationships. So yeah. Crazy how the gay monkeys changed my life.

Of course, I never could have predicted how much traction my AU would gain. Man, y’all were really starving to latch onto something this silly. /j

But yeah—thank you. Thank you for sticking around until the end, for having the patience and trust to follow the story even when I made you rage with angst and cliffhangers. (The statement in my bio still stands: I am not responsible for any physical or emotional damage my art has caused.)

I’m absolutely shit at thanking people, or at writing, or at talking in general, honestly. I’m the furthest thing from being good with words, so I hope the final chapter will be enough to show you my gratitude.

Through this story, I met so many wonderful, talented people. I watched as fans across different platforms found each other through memes and fanart of the AU. I saw artists start their own AUs inspired by mine, growing their own communities. I witnessed an explosion of creativity and collaboration through our takeovers. And I laughed along with you all.

And yeah—at its core, this story has always been about love. Whether it’s platonic, sibling, parental, romantic, or whatever the hell Mac and Wukong had going on for millennia.

At its heart, it’s a story about family.

And maybe, in the end… the real family wasn’t just the one in the comic, but the one we’ve found together along the way. 💛

See you all at the finale.

Love you all, freaks /affectionate

Jade

[goldenrulemotherfucker]

Ghoulcy: Why?

Okay, I've had this in my drafts for ages and I'm going to use the show's first anniversary as an excuse to hit post. (Important disclaimer that I'm just one person who enjoys this ship. Whatever appeals to you about ghoulcy and their dynamic is good and valid and worthy of exploration even if it's completely different from me!)

In my first watch, I immediately clocked this as the breakout ship for this show. She's a sunshine nerd with a lot of courage; he's a broody loner with a complicated past and a fucked up face. (Can I make it anymore obvious?) They have that ETL potential that is ship kryptonite for so many people, plus a lot of shared screentime thanks to a hostile forced proximity scenario followed by a profound act of kindness. When I hit the finger-sewing scene, where we see that Cooper will literally have a piece of Lucy attached to him him at all times, I laughed out loud. I wasn't actively on board yet, but I knew there was no way this ship wouldn't catch on like wildfire. Truly, if you watched this entire show and you've been active in fandoms for at least a few years, I genuinely don't know how ghoulcy's popularity could possibly come as a surprise at all.

So, there I was on my couch thinking, "oh yeah people are FOR SURE going to want them to take the F train to Pound Town," but that was still in third person since I was naively referring to other people who weren't me. ETL isn't typically my own weakness, so I thought I was safe. I loved all three main characters, but I wasn't feeling super shippy about anyone, just impressed by the show and performances and curious to see what unfolded.

Then I watched ✨ the finale. ✨

For me, Lucy and Cooper's final scene is the hook that makes them not just ship-worthy but brain-melting. Four eps earlier, the moment where she shows him kindness (and saves his life) by giving him the chem vials is a great scene on its own, but the show gives us an even better payoff: Cooper invites her to travel with him by choice this time, warning her that she's in danger and offering to help her find the answers she's seeking. And, fully of her own free will, Lucy does follow him. This could have easily gone differently! Lucy could have looked at him and said "I'm not going anywhere with you" and escaped in another direction. But after his final question, "You comin'?" (which is delivered with the soft earnestness an actor might also use for lines like "I'm sorry" and/or "Please"), she weighs her options and goes with him. This is, inherently, an act of trust for both of them, which is a brand new element for these two. Safe to say I wasn't laughing anymore. Ahem.

Oh, and it also turns out there are roughly 60493 parallels between these two that you only fully catch on rewatches, not to mention tons of foreshadowing, and suddenly their unlikely alliance starts to feel A LOT like fate, which............IS my kyrptonite. ❤️‍🔥

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x15, "mob rules"

gay mafia! and not much else to report!

i've remembered this one not because i find it super, super compelling, but because house's exchange with the patient's brother is so funny: "what can cause high estrogen levels?" "estrogen." also, i will be complaining about cameron and house in this one, so if that's not for you, that's just a heads-up!

the mapping of the mafia onto vogler and how he's blackmailing house into conforming is...fine. but it's more interesting - and more insane lol - if we speculate about what house's big secret, equivalent to the mobster being gay, could be. vicodin never comes up this episode, but i'd wager, if this is a subliminal parallel, then that would be it. that's kind of hilarious. queering vicodin (grad school brain activated).

we've also begun the domino-line of who will fall victim to house vs. vogler. foreman is up first as house tries to bump him off the case to give the impression that he's dealing with the supposed dissent in his department. this obviously doesn't go anywhere, but he notably takes it for granted that foreman would stand for such a thing.

cuddy, meanwhile, has her job repeatedly threatened by vogler if she continues to cover for house, which she does. very nobly. and she also makes the first of a very long line of damning statements about house: "he can change." for first-time viewers, house has given no inkling that he can or even wants to; long-time viewers know that this will persist as an endemic problem (cue me getting dragged off stage because i could bring up the series finale here if i tried hard enough).

much later, once the case of the week has been solved (and after wilson has tipped off house to how poorly cuddy is being treated on his behalf), he pays her a visit, where he is certain that "you fought for me, right?"

"to a point" is her response, before giving house 2 conditions (off screen, for added drama, ofc): add some extra clinic hours and fire one of the ducklings. cuddy's "point" has met vogler's profit-first mentality by force; it's nothing short of miraculous that she's talked vogler down from shutting down diagnostics entirely.

that "point" is an exciting thread, however, that will be tugged at till the season finale - i say facetiously because i know what wilson's end point is and it's Such A Good Part Of The Season.

and, guys, house/cameron is bringing me down. during my first watch, i was busy taking everything in, but now that i have some space in my head to digest more thoroughly, it's really distracting. cameron was so hung up last episode on making sure people respected her medical opinion in spite of them not liking her and/or just finding her pretty...only to indulge that exactly in this episode.

i don't care if that reversal/devolution is intentional! if that's the irony, then ick! house pokes fun at her, challenges her because that's becoming their thing, but it just falls flat for me. and i like foreman's teasing (ofc they are friends, contrary to what he claims in later season); "how's your tummy?" made me laugh. but overall, it's just disappointing. chase, please get in there.

but nope! chase is too busy prodigal son-ing it up! absolute dog water attempts at lying abound. and he was definitely giving kid who's trying to talk down their dad from being mad at them. i love this picture.

honestly, i think the only non A-plot moment that was exciting to me was when house and wilson actually permeated the hospital walls! the scenes were brief, but i'm very attached to their bonding via road trips and how vehicles become symbolic of freedom for them both, in different ways. plus, wilson looks absolutely and infuriatingly gorgeous:

and, finally, apart from the fact that the episode's medical plot revolves around a mobster entering the witness protection program so he can be his real self aware from his known life, and his brother coming to terms with that at the final hour, the only gay thing i could squeeze out of this one was about the estrogen diagnosis. house refers to it as the "male flare." flare makes me think of red.

if vogler is the hospital mafia, and the real mafia is gay, then i get to be crazy on tumblr dot com.

[lavandaea]

I HAD IT ALL NICELY DONE AND THEN POSTED IT BUT IT DIDNT SAVE ITSELF DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPEN.

SO IM DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN. 

The amount of times I rewatched that trailer is actually not sane.

The release date is not close enough so I have to do something with the amount of details I think I discovered or IM GONNA COMBUST.

(i have never analyzed a trailer before and I'm very so not an observant person so maybe this is all wrong but i NEEDED to put my ramble somewhere)

okay, here I go.

im gonna start chronologically.

"Im can destroy the hunters, for good"

When he says this he is offering the deal to someone else. I know it because

Every demon is looking at him like an outsider as they make way for him and, I assume, his gang.

He is not the main villain. That would be voiced by Lee Byung hun. According to Google and theories.

The fact they are not the main villains leaves the delicious speculation of something close to redemption or friendship between the hunters and them but we'll get into that. Please stand by. 

The fact that I think the main plan is something else. Like, hear me out. How stealing the souls of their fans would destroy them? Like, sure, it would cause them some trouble, yeah. Then what?

FUN FACT

Their boyband name (Saja boys) gives me more material for theories.

"Saja" comes from "Jeoseung Saja". In Korean folklore are the ones who lead the souls of the dead to the Other World. Grim Reapers basically.

but but. as we all may know. They are stealing the souls of the ones that are still alive.

Why, though? Rebels? Maybe for revenge or to piss off someone. Forced??? Half-forced?? I don't really have ideas for that. maybe there's no reason and they just wanted to put Death as a villain and it's me putting too much thinking over nothing.

we are still doing this chronologically so. in the imaginary line of events would be the meeting. 

THIS (it's better shown on video)

BUT THIS IS THE LOOK OF SOMEONE WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING AND WANTS THEM TO KNOW IT. 

ALSO, IS IT JUST ME WHO FEEL THE KINDA INTENSE EYE CONTACT??

Again, hear me out.

From left to right. Mira looks confused, Rumi looks perturbed and Zoey looks surprised.

NEXT 

Next would be the “lets go get this guys” I believe. 

“You think we are gonna let you steal the souls of our fans?!”

This line makes me wonder how faar in the timeline we are, because, I think, they would have to first become famous for the girls's fans to become the boys's fans as we saw in the trailer. 

The fact the demon is one of those hot bath pools makes my brain do some gymnastic 

is the same fight, the green steam and the bath pool confirms it. 

Was the demon a human before? maybe the direct contact is a way to transform them and they also have that pinkish glow as they indeed just transformed. 

this seems to be the end of the fight.

Makes me wonder if they just transformed a lot of people and just left. I don't know how to explain it but this looks like a fight that they didn't exactly win. Why??

They all look exhausted.

She looks extremely confused, may I say perturbed. Maybe because of the demons or due to something that happened in mid battle or maybe, or maybe, because of something the boys did or said. 

ALSO 

see the green little cloth she has in her arm??

thats from a wound she got from here:

if you stop it right at the moment when he tears her skin you will see some kind of purple ink in her arm. Huh. hm. hmmmmm. WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN. Is she a demon? Half-demon?

I know it is a scene from the last seconds of the trailer but see the green steam at the back? 

it's still the same place! And he has the same clothes. Maybe the other girls went with the “well hold them off, go get him!” And she still doesn't have any cloth.

Something about this and it's better shown in the trailer is that he doesn't seem to be actually running, but jogging. Like he wanted to be caught. 

it has the same light as when they were fighting (where did they take the fight to? Maybe another bath pools? Because of the steam, I mean) which makes me imagine they are still doing it but, as you can notice, she now has the green cloth.  It makes me wonder, when did she get a second to stop, look for something to aid it (seems to be a towel but im not sure), and then keep fighting?

Also, she looks very desperate. She wants to end it now or something like that. I'm expecting lots of talking, lots of teasing in this fight.

They aren't in the same scenes since the first one, the background has plants and tiger here doesn't have the little crow with a gat that has in the second photo

And in this one I highly doubt it has. Don't know, doesn't seem like a decoration for a room. Not that much of plants.

So, okey. Hear me out on this one. 

The letter. MAYBE. THEY (him?) sends THEM (her?) a letter? in which part of the timeline?? why?? with what purpose?? 

Why a letter? don't we have phones in this modern era?

I do not know any of that. What I do know because I can see it with my eyes. is that the tiger (the mythological creature that looks like a tiger) looks very friendly and she looks at ease, legs crossed and also seems to be talking to them. 

We saw them at the beginning of the trailer along his side all growling and red eyes, maybe they become besties or something like that. that's what I want to think. 

The fact the boys have only one line over the whole trailer makes me very very curious.

also, it seems they are only showing more of the first part of the movie more than anything, no sign of the main villain yet. hmm. maybe they'll keep taking out trailers (most probably)

well, that's actually all I have. maybe I'll keep coming with more in the following weeks, please stand by. 

The way I need this movie right now, aaah. See you when the time calls us again.

See y'all on June 20.

[nabi-unveiled]

Tag Game: Scenes I will never forget

Rules: Share 5-10 scenes you can't forget. Not your favorites, the ones that got stuck in your brain for any reason.

tagged by @dramalove247 @thisonelikesaliens @my-rose-tinted-glasses and @hughungrybear Thank you all so much for the tag!!! 🫶

Let's start by saying that I absolutely ADORE this prompt. Because I definitely get scenes stuck in my head. I'm much more likely to rewatch specific scenes than whole episodes or shows.

My personal guidelines:

Only QL - let's keep it simple

Cannot be currently airing or a very recent watch because that doesn't prove it'll stick

I am eliminating My Personal Weatherman, My Beautiful Man, and When it Rains It Pours. Just assume that every scene from those three shows is imprinted into my brain on a permanent basis.

For ease, I am just going to think of a category and then go with the FIRST scene that pops into my brain. No overthinking allowed. That means these will probably not be favorites, but they are obviously in my brain for SOME reason.

The First Scene I Thought Of When I Got Tagged

At 25:00 in Akasaka

Hayama collapsing to the ground in relief after chasing after Yuki and realizing the reason he had left. There had been such a great build up of emotional tension, that his collapse felt like a release.

Scene That Made Me Laugh

HIStory 4: Close to You

"You want to gossip? Fine. I'll give you something to gossip about." I laugh every time.

Scene That Prompted Me to Watch The Show

I Feel You Linger In the Air

Surely I don't need to explain this choice. I saw the olive oil clip after the emoji game and binged the show shortly thereafter. The scene holds up even in the context of the show. And the show itself is beautiful.

Scene That Gave Me Big Feels

Kiseki: Dear to Me

The montage showing all of the birthdays that represents Ai Di's feelings and pain over the years, but also Chen Yi's realization that he caused that pain.

Scene That Gets Personal

I Hear the Sunspot

I've talked about this scene before. I know Kohei's pain and frustration here when you know something was said/important and people refuse to repeat themselves. It basically feels like you're not worth the effort, and it sucks. Even worse is if someone says it in a demeaning way (Taichi did not). To be clear, I also understand Taichi not wanting to repeat himself. It was a painful memory. But I love that Kohei threw Taichi's words back to him and that Taichi did end up repeating himself. For the record, I'm not Kohei. Even with a loved one, I'm not going to ask you twice. (Note: Read sassy spite into that last line not some morose depressed vibe.)

Spicy Scene

Lost in Translation

It's bookcase adjacent, and...the only thing I actually remember from this show. Lol.

Scene That Is Hard to Describe

Color Rush

I'm cheating on this one, because the two scenes go hand in hand.

I've never felt like I did a good job describing this show or the scenes in it. But this is about the one who sees in grey teaching the other about his world followed by the one who sees in color teaching about his. It reminds me of the book Flatland (which is on my blog header). How do you describe something to someone who has no framework for that experience? I think this entire show is an awesome representation of so many societal issues including the effort required to understand people with vastly different experiences.

Scene With A Fit That Kills

Don't Say No

I did say I was going with the first scene that came to mind, and it was this one. Yeah...I really love that red suit. I WANT that red suit.

But I am not sure I want the attention that would come with wearing it anywhere.

Scene That Comforts Me

Keita Hatsukoi

I've definitely talked about this scene at some point before too. I don't understand my emotions easily, and I end up talking myself out of them the majority of the time. But there was a time, when I thought my world was going to fall apart that I kept saying "it's not a big deal" in my head and this scene kept popping into my brain. It was comforting and made me feel it was okay to reach out to someone with a very casual "so this happened". The first thing they said "Are you ok? That's a big deal". Oddly comforting.

Scene That Makes Me Go "Awww"

The On1y One

Ok. I just realized this ended up very similar to Big Feels. I meant for it to be like a "aww how sweet" fluffy moment, and this is what popped into my brain. Apparently my brain is hardwired for the pain rather than the fluff. I mean...it's sweet. Right? 😭😭😭

Scene That Made Me Go "Relationship Goals"

Every You, Every Me

So much about this pair I love in general, but I really appreciate the open way they talk about sex. So much sex positivity in this arc.

Ok. I've already thought about several other categories, but...I just went back and counted. I'm already at 11. Oops. Lol.

This was SO much fun just thinking about scenes. I loved it. 💖

No pressure tagging: @bronte-blues @obsessedferalgremlin @iguessitsjustme @babyangelsky and anyone else who wants to play!

[sigmakia]

Top ten weird ways Oswald Cobbepot gets called in Gotham

As I was rewatching Gotham, I decided to write down every name that people in the show canonically call Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. It was a wild ride. Please enjoy

10. "Funny looking fellow"

(season one)

We start with a simple one. This isn't even an insult, it's just a fact. He is, indeed, a funny looking fellow. I'm pretty sure they say it more than once too.

9. "The Dapper Gangland Kingpin"

(season two)

This one it's just silly, especially since it was written on a newspaper. Just... that's weird ? Idk it's silly it makes me chuckle

8. "Yellow rat snitch"

(season one)

We start getting a little weirder. Why a rat? And, more importantly, why yellow???

7. "Stupid lame birdbrain"

(season four)

Just so mean. Especially since this scene it's his dumb husband making a room full of people chant it

6. "Golden goose"

(season one)

Right back to season one and it's incredible dialogue. This one is particularly amazing thanks to Oswald's reply to it, which was, of course: "Honk honk". I can't even start to describe that scene. It's a classic.

5. "Beaky nosed freak"

(season five)

Definitely the best nickname the last season had to offer. Like, you know that moment when a guy kills your bestfriend/girlfriend and you call him the silliest name you can think of? This is one of those times.

4. "Scaley faced bitch"

(season one)

This is the first one in the show, directly from the first episode. I am a firm supporter of calling men bitches when they deserve it, and he did, so I wholeheartedly approve this message. Adding the scaley face part just makes it more poetic.

3. "Sad little breadhead"

(season two)

This one from never fails. Imagine it delivered with the most condicending tone in the world. Just amazing. Makes me laugh every time.

2. "Fruitcake leprechaun"

(season two)

This. This is the one that started it all. It was thinking about this one that I decided that this rewatch I was gonna write down all the nicknames. I dont know if it has something to do with english not being my first language, so I don't have the background of the word "fruitcake" used as an homophobic remark, but this name is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.

1. "Limping little chickenbutt second banana"

(season one)

This couldn't not be on the first place. I am obsessed with the writers of this show, i want to get inside their brains. Because like what does it mean? How did they come up with this? I need to know every thought that crossed their mind for them to write this. This is art. This is poetry. Incredible. Amazing. Absolutely insane. Kudos to the actor who played Maroni because if they gave me that line I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face.

Bonus:

(For the fans, he is also called "the only thing Nygma cares about". Just... you know, in case you forgot)

Some recurrent nicknames are: "Pengy", "Ozzie", "freak", "cockroach", "punk", bird related names (bird/birdman, feathered friend, chicken, turkey...) and "little"/"tiny" followed by almost anything (man, friend, dirtbag, bastard, creep, twerp, freak, weasel...)

Edit: i realize i didn't mention "Major Crumblepot" and that's on me sorry guys

His haircut is described as "disco vampire hair" at one point (another classic)

He is also called "specimen", which is really funny, and "dewdropper"?? for some reason I don't remember but it was in my notes and I couldn't ignore it lmao

[negrowhat]

Tag Game: Scenes I Will Never Forget

tagged by @babyangelsky @obsessedferalgremlin and @yannig

Yesssss I was hoping someone would tag me in this! THANKS FRIENDS!

Rules: Share 5-10 scenes you can't forget. Not your favorites, the ones that got stuck in your brain for any reason.

Tian passing out while flying the kite in A Tale of 1000 Stars. Literally had me so startled because one second Tian is all happy and flying kites with his kiddos and then he just collapses. I can't imagine how traumatizing that was for the kids as well as Chief Phu.

Shao Peng arguing with Zi Xiang in hospital in See Your Love. Honestly I felt the scene was so powerful. It's a moment where Shao Peng finally admits that he needs help and points in his life and he allows himself to confront the negative feelings he'd been bottling up.

SornJun spanking it over a koi pond in My Stubborn. Because what a wild ass introduction to a series. It might be one of the most UNHINGED opening scenes I've seen in all my years of BL watching. That scene really set the tone for the series and it honestly has not let up since then.

Hira and Kiyoi's first bath from Utsukushii Kare: Eternal. To say I was gagged is actually an understatement. It's not like the scene was overly explicit or anything, but it just gave us so much insight on their sexual dynamic. Who was expecting to see Kiyoi lowkey ask Hira to manhandle him sometimes. And his bright red face was *chef's kiss*. I love that Hira was like, "Oh I could never do that," and when he makes Kiyoi look at himself in the mirror???????? And to top it off??? Hear Kiyoi moaning Hira's name. Truly unforgettable.

Until We Meet Again opening with suicide. Absolutely triggering. I have to remember to skip like the first 6 or so minutes when I do rewatches because that scene is literally traumatizing for me.

Myungha walking into the ocean in Love for Love's Sake. Oh I sobbed and sobbed. Definitely one of the most painful things I've ever witnessed. I just didn't know Myungha had felt that hopeless. I just didn't know the series would get that fucking heavy. And it's the way I just couldn't tell if he was alive or not for the longest time.

Huai'en cutting off a man's hand in Meet You at the Blossom. Huai'en really cut a man's hand off in his insane jealous rage. I just couldn't believe it! The look of murder in his eyes I'll never forget. Also the fake hand flopping around really sent me.

"Have you been well without me?" from Our Dating Sim. When I think about this series I think about that line. It's the moment where Lee Wan realizes that Shin Ki Tae was actually affected by him running away. It is such a powerful question and it opens the door to the trauma Ki Tae was dealing from Lee Wan just disappearing on him.

Cairo finding out his dad died in Gameboys the series. Oh my gawd. Literally the most hurtful thing ever. Cai's mother had LITERALLY just told him his father was coming home from the hospital and the next thing he knew he was getting a call that his father didn't make it. He just broke down on the video call with Gav and all poor Gav could do was watch and cry with him. THE ACTING in that scene was SUPREME! And to know that all the video call scenes were shot separately and then pieced together??????? THE TALENT??? Truly unforgettable.

I'll tag: @bengiyo @lurkingshan @cirphu @thisautistic @itsallaboutbl @zo1nkss and @nonglukest

I'm sure most if not all of y'all have probably already been tagged but Idk who else to tag lol.

[princess-of-songs]

My favorite cut dialogue

*originally posted on Reddit*

Dramatic, I know but this specific scene ranks as my greatest loss of Tashi moments that didn’t make into the film.

I can make peace with the Tashi & Art in her dorm room and smoking for the first time scene because they ultimately made the relationship better overall in the movie in my opinion. I’m still mixed on the Atlanta scene because the chemistry is fantastic and the subtlety is greatly used but I still think about how Tashi opens up about so much in that scene in the original draft. Oh well.

But this dialogue in the car emotionally devastated me when I first read it. It is such a tender moment where we get to see Tashi vulnerable and honest. I understand the movie is going for subtlety and I appreciate that but moments like this, I yearned for that direct clarity. Rewatching the movie and rereading the script, the moment where Patrick tells Tashi, “I miss watching you play,

Tashi. You were so beautiful.”, it finally clicked in my brain. Patrick is the only character that doesn’t say I love you in the movie, we see it in his actions, expressions, and two statements in back to back scenes with Art and Tashi. (Tashi does say I love you to her mom and Lily.) Tashi and Patrick are often mentioned to be mirrors to each other or twin flames amongst our fandom to which I fully agree, they’re eerily similar. For them, we see the traditional display of love that we all know doesn’t quite fit. When Tashi said “I can’t even fathom being as stupid as you are.”, I saw that as her telling him that she loved and cared about him. Then he essentially says it back and sadly, it snaps her back into reality. This can’t be a moment for them, her initial mission was to come to Patrick to make sure she doesn’t lose Art because she’s too stubborn to take back her words. I feel if they added this moment, it also would’ve made “What else could I want?”, hit us even harder. I don’t think we talk enough about how depressing that line really is. Her voice sounds so sad and much younger. It sounds like a lie in my opinion because why else would she be in the car? Tashi could’ve easily just texted or called Patrick to ask him to lose to Art.

[spicypotatoesofttaco]

I'm so embarrassed but it's fine

I REALLY don't want to post this. but it's fine. IT'S fine. It's stupid and lame, but I'm committing. While this may be a brain child of mine (honestly someone could've already made this and I have no knowledge of this) I'm not particularly attached to it, so construct as much criticism as you want. or kill me, either one works.

just a small warning, this is like. soooo not professionally written (or proofread) at all. it's just a bunch of different types of notes slapped on a page. good luck soldier.

@dreamweave01 this is for you

so the main thing i remember is that it's mainly donnie and mikey angst

OH OH i just got something BIG

so it started out with donatello being replaced by someone else for years and the other turtles had no idea. then it was him replacing himself and then it was leo instead and a few other different versions that i plot holed away. i ended up with raph, leo AND donnie being replaced by robots BY the real donnie (who had died along with the other two) for years and mikey had no idea. then i was like, hm another plot hole, robots dont bleed. and THATS where it all came together.... (evil hand mushing)

boom, bop, bam: they're from another timeline/multiverse

and then the angst started. (side note: i personally dont think i have a good handle on their characters/relationships with each other. i need to rewatch the show and watch the other ones tbh, please take this with the finest grain of salt you can find)

scene 1: mikey finds out

right now, it's just him and donatello in the lair, the other two are out or something. he overhears don talking about "day 1,100, didn't think we'd make it this far without michaelangelo finding out, etc."

"who are you? where are my brothers? what's going on?"

"get away from me. don't touch me"

"don't call me that, you don't get to call me that. not mikey, not mike, or mikester or angelo or anything, none of it!"

he's freaking out. 3 years? his brothers aren't even his brothers? initially he's flipping his shit, trying to get away from donnie(?). for all he knows they could be robots, shapeshifters, anything.

scene 2: leo finds mikey (on a rooftop)

"hey bud"

"GET AWAY FROM ME" he's got his kusari-fundō spinning, pointed at leo(?)

leo(?) raises his hands "okay! okay! it's okay dude, i'm not gonna hurt you i promise", he reaches to lift his swords out and throw them to the side.

michaelangelo, breathing so heavily, lowers his weapon yet still spinning it. he's leaning side to side, lightly pacing but never turning his back to his brother(?)

"listen, uh. buddy, just come back home and we can talk about this. we'll explain-"

"no! i'm not going anywhere with you"

"do you really think we would wait this long to do something to you if we were going to?"

that stumped him. would they play the long game? tello would. but the others wouldn't and honestly, donnie would get bored eventually anyway.. maybe he should hear them out.

scene 3: the explanation

they all sit down together and donnie explains what happened.

at first, he tells mikey the truth and leo and raph immediately berate him for not going through with their inital plan to lie so that mike doesn't flip again. buuuut then I thought it'd be angstier to go through with the inital plan 🫢

Donatello explains:

"So say," he draws two lines on a hologram, one purple, one orange. he points to the orange one, "this is your timeline and this is ours," pointing to the purple line

"In our world, you died. You weren't strong enough, too young maybe, to handle the ooze. As time went by things were normal for us, then out of nowhere a portal brought us to your timeline."

(context dump: the three completely grew up without him, mike has no memories of the portal why? idk yet...trauma response probably..)

L: "We were all confused at first but eventually we figured out that you had brought us here because your us's were gone."

R: "So we figured out the routine, the rhythm. Played the parts that you expected."

M: "So this is...my fault? I took you from your home and you, you just let it happen?!"

D: "I obviously have been trying to figure out a way back but alas, even the most genius of geniuses have trouble with multi-versal travel.

scene 4: emotional damage

(an: i know, i didn't write much here. i got a little lazy, its literally just the climax)

big crazy scene, like wild colours (lots of orange and yellow) and destruction and stuff like the movie type shi.

D: "MICHAELANGELO, MIKEY, PLEASE. please. I know you're still in there. I- I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was me, I lied to you, Mikey."

spell breaks (yippee)

M: "what?"

D: "You didn't pull us away from our timeline. I-" deep breath

"I pulled you from yours."

M: speechless, confused. vulnerable.

D: "You were all alone! You had nothing, no one left. I couldn't just abandon you."

"I thought it'd be perfect. We didn't have you, you didn't have us. It was the perfect puzzle!" sigh "and then we had to go and mess it all up by not telling you the truth."

[multifandomfanficss]

It’s About Time

Ed Nygma/The Riddler x Reader

Prompt: Ed offers to help you with time management when you tell him you’re stressed at work. Your conversation is interrupted by an attack on the GCPD by the Maniax.

Warnings: Mentions of murder, cannibalism, r*pists, abuse, and general graphic violence. Gotham typical violence. Mental health struggles. Sensory issues and meltdowns common with autism. Panic. Near death experiences. Claustrophobia. References to being buried alive. Nightmares.

A/N: I’m rewatching Gotham and I didn’t realize the missed potential for hurt/comfort the first time I watched this show 7 years ago. My work load has been really heavy lately, but this show broke me out of my writers block and I made time for the writing bug. This takes place in the middle of Ed’s Riddler arc. He hasn’t fully become the Riddler yet, but he has already made his first kill. The reader has qualities of an autistic person, but is not explicitly said to be autistic. I accidentally code a lot of my characters to be autistic because I am, but this was more intentional to reflect Ed’s autistic coding. Feel free to read into it or not! You don’t have to be autistic to read and hopefully enjoy this! Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

“I’ve been so stressed lately.” You sigh. “It’s like I can’t get anything done that I actually need to get done.” You stand in the hallway of the precinct talking to your friend Ed. You were stressing about this case and Jim Gordon was making you go through hundreds of old files for him. You were never part of the real action, but the horrifying crime scene photos and evidence you had to pull through everyday was taking a toll on you. Gordon’s time crunches never helped either. You understood that lives were often on the line, but that didn’t make it any easier.

“What can some people never get enough of and others say is too much? What has the ability to fly when having fun or is stuck completely frozen when you need it to move?” He smiles. You stare at him blankly. You had not been getting enough sleep. You loved hearing his riddles, but you were never the best at giving him the answers. It was so hard for your mind to keep track of it all. “Do you give up?” He asks.

“My brain just isn’t braining right now.” You laugh. “What’s the answer?”

“Time.” He beams, happy with himself. “You should try to implement a better time management plan. You look tired all the time. It’s like you’re not even sleeping.”

“Thanks, Ed.” You give a dry laugh.

“You know what I mean.” You nod in an agreement with him. “You might be the only person who usually knows what I mean.” He says, fiddling with his fingers and the buttons on his coat.

He was right. Nobody quite seemed to get him, but nobody quite seemed to get you either. You had always felt this odd draw to him that you could never quite explain. Truthfully you think you have feelings for him, but you always bury them. He saw you as a friend and he really needed a friend. Besides he had been pinning over Kristen since before you even got to the precinct. You had mixed feelings towards her. On one hand you felt bad for her. She was always getting mixed up with shitty boyfriends who treated her poorly, but on the other hand she had a mean streak. You never liked how she treated Ed. It was like he wasn’t a person with feelings to her and that made you so angry.

“You’re right. I haven’t been sleeping.” You tell him.

“Why is that?” He asks.

“We live in Gotham. With the terrifying shit we see everyday, I don’t know how anyone sleeps.”

“Are you having nightmares again?” He asks, his face painted with concern.

“It’s fine. It’s just work stress. It’s just this case. I’m fine.” You smile. It wasn’t a real smile. Your smiles always came so naturally around Ed that he knew something was off. He was about to press when you heard gunshots coming from down the hall. Your body immediately froze like a dear in headlights in the middle of the hallway.

You’ve had violent people in the precinct before and it always made you nervous, but this was different. The Maniax were on the loose and you knew they were too unhinged to care about survivors or bargains. With Jerome Valeska at the helm, along side cannibals, rapists, and murderers you were terrified. They’d escaped from Arkham days ago and already managed to murder dozens of people. This was far too close to the action for you, as you heard Jerome’s laugh bellowing down the hall from the bullpen; a laugh you remembered from one of your early cases at the precinct. You had felt bad for him and tried to help him when his mother died. You will never forget the laugh he let out when Jim realized he wasn’t as innocent as you’d thought. It ran a chill through your spine.

Everything started moving too fast when you realized you were being pulled down the hall quickly. Once you realized you were holding hands, you tightly grasped Ed’s hand, not wanting to be separated from him. He brings you further down the hall into the ME’s lab.

“W-where are we going?” You stutter. It’s like your mouth can’t keep up with your racing mind.

“Do you trust me?” He looks at you trying to stay calm.

“Ed, what are you doing?” You’re panicking. He can tell. It’s not hard to tell, as your hands fidget and your breathing is heavy. You’re trying to stay calm.

“(Y/N), I need you to trust me.” He places his hands on your shoulders in an effort to ground you with the pressure. You close your eyes and nod, hesitantly. You do trust him.

Ed runs to the cold lockers and opens one, checking to see if it’s empty. He finds a dead body inside. You cringe. Seeing bodies is rare for you and you’re still getting used to it.

“Oh dear… okay… second times the charm…” He mumbles to himself trying to find an empty locker. “Bingo!” He smiles, finding an empty one. The wheels start to turn in your head.

“No! I’m not getting in there!” Your panic increases. Ed shushes you.

“This is our best chance. I promise I’ll let you out as soon as I can.”

“We won’t be together?” Your eyes start to burn. You try to keep back tears. You’re shaking.

“We won’t both fit in the same one. I’m gonna go in the one above you-“

“No no please I- I don’t wanna be by myself! Please don’t leave me!” You cut him off and beg him. Ed awkwardly rubs his thumbs across your shoulders where he places his hands again, still trying to ground you. It’s awkward, but it’s still somewhat calming.

“I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you. I’ll be right next to you the whole time. I promise. I need you to trust me.” You’re not sure if it’s because it’s life or death, or if it’s because it’s Ed, but you reluctantly let him help your shaking body into the mortuary cabinet. When it comes time to let go of his hand and close the cabinet, you don’t want to. Despite quickly running out of time, he knows he needs to be patient. He knows how hard this is for you. He’s always known you’re a bit claustrophobic. He had no idea one of your worst fears was being buried alive. Being stuck in a cold locker wasn’t too far from either of those things. He can hear footsteps far down the hall. The Maniax were never subtle. He kisses the hand he’s holding quickly before closing your locker and climbing into his own. You were surprised by the kiss, but you couldn’t think about that right now and what it could have meant. Your mind couldn’t keep up. He had to leave his own locker unlocked, unable to properly close it from the inside, but he locked yours to make it look more convincing.

When Ed heard you cry, he began to whisper, hoping he could be loud enough for you to hear, but quiet enough for the Maniax to not notice. “It’s okay, (Y/N). I’m still here.” It was enough to quiet your sobs. Tears silently streamed down your cheeks. Ed’s voice had a certain gentleness to it when he spoke to you. He was being especially gentle now. You had seen him angry, upset, anxious, energetic, but his calm voice was reserved for you. Even in this moment when he was admittedly not very calm, he was trying his best to mask his own fears to keep you safe.

You always reserved parts of yourself for each other; parts of yourselves that the other person enabled you to be. You were never as bold as you wanted to be, but when people were rude to Ed you stuck up for him. He brought out a more confident version of you. For Ed, he knew you struggled with staying calm when you were stressed, upset, anxious or scared, even when you were happy. All of your emotions were so big and you rarely knew how to contain them. He tried to stay calm because he knew you saw him as a calming person in your life. He liked being your hero when everyone else only saw him as a weak, odd, nuisance. He also liked that he could read you and that you were honest with him. He trusted you and it helped keep the voice in his head at bay. He didn’t have to question himself with you. He didn’t have to take advice from the voice in his head.

You tried to keep your meltdown as quiet as possible when you heard footsteps approach. They were heavy, not ones you recognized. You knew it had to be one of the Maniax, probably the cannibal. You tried to make your breath as quiet as possible. After what you assume was a poor sweep of the room, the man leaves.

After what seems like hours of being trapped in a corpse you finally hear sirens and then chatter. You hear Ed climb out of the locker above you. He opens your locker and you let out an audible sob.

“I think they’ve gone.” He says, pulling out the drawer to let your body get some much needed air. You start gasping and sobbing, shaking on the drawer of the mortuary cabinet. Your body jolts up. You just want to get away from the locker.

“You’re okay! You’re okay!” Ed catches your body, as your start to fall from the drawer to the floor. You sit on the floor and cling to him, sobbing. At first awkward, he runs his hand along your back, trying to sooth you with the repetitive motion.

“I felt like I was dead- like- like I was gonna get buried alive-“ You gasp for air, sobbing between your words. Ed shushes you.

“We’re okay. They’re gone.” He promises.

You hear fast approaching footsteps. Your brain is moving too fast to decide if the footsteps are familiar or not. You just bury yourself further into Ed’s chest.

“Detective Gordon is here.” He informs you and you relax only slightly.

“Nygma, are they okay?” Jim asks.

“No mortal wounds, they’re just a bit shaken up.” He lets him know.

“You two should probably still get checked out. I need to finish scanning the building for everyone else. So far we’ve got 9 cops dead in the bullpen and… and the commissioner is dead.” He says. It’s almost like you hear Jim, but you don’t. Your mind can’t keep up with anything that’s happening.

After a while you find yourself sitting, waiting for Lee to check you out. Ed had been pulled away for a few minutes to do his job. He didn’t want to leave you, but you assured him you were fine. You didn’t feel fine, but you knew they needed him. As long as you could see him on the other side of the bullpen, you were reluctant, but okay with him stepping away. He left his jacket draped around your shoulders. It helped to be surround by his smell and warmth.

When it was time to go home, Ed guided you to his car. You hadn’t spoken much, but at least you’d finally stopped crying. The car ride was quiet. The only thing that filled the air was Ed’s occasional hum with the radio. Neither of you quite knew what to say. It was a bit ironic considering usually nobody could ever get you two to shut up. You didn’t speak up until he turned onto your street.

“I don’t want to go home.” You said quietly, feeling the panic rise again at the thought of being alone at home again.

“That’s understandable. Would you like to stay at my place?” He asks. You nod, silently. He flicks his turn signal and starts the drive to his place.

“Welcome to Château Nygma.” He smiles, turning on the light. You still have his jacket wrapped around your shoulders. Despite the terror you’ve been through today, his smile is refreshing. You don’t question how he can stay so seemingly sane in times like these, but you’re just glad somebody is. You need that. Maybe you should have questioned it, but you didn’t. He has a nice apartment. It’s not too big. Why would it be for a man who lived by himself? It’s just the right size with cool windows and a comfortable setup.

“Do you want something to eat? I’m a good cook.” He smiles. You don’t know how he can continue to smile, but you’re glad. It starts to make you feel safer. It’s nice to be in a locked apartment with just you and Ed. It’s nice to be in a quiet, secluded place, but not feel alone. It’s far better than sitting on your bed, scared of any serial killers that could be hiding underneath the frame and jumping at any people you hear in the stairwell of your apartment, with an open case file sitting next to you, worried the killers you’re reading about could be onto you any second. Today was a very close call. Too close.

“If you’re not sure, that’s okay too.” He continues, noticing you’re deep in thought.

“Oh…uh yeah… I’m not sure what I want… It’s like my body needs things, but I’m just a little bit too overwhelmed to figure it out.” You look down, shyly.

“Do you want to just sit? I can put on some music?” He questions referencing the record player with his hands.

“That sounds okay. I think I can do that.” You nod. He puts on some quiet music, not too loud to overstimulate you and you make your way to the couch. He brings you a glass of water.

“I can imagine it might be hard for you to have an appetite given your increased levels of adrenaline today, but you should at least drink this.” You take the water from him and begin to sip it. You didn’t realize how nice cold water could feel. You drink it quickly, before setting the glass down.

“Thank you.”

Ed sits down and you gravitate towards him.

“How do you do it?” You ask.

“How do I do what?” He looks for clarification.

“Your job. There’s so much death everywhere.”

“I don’t know. I just sort of do. Honestly I think it’s fascinating…” He pauses, looking away from you. “Sorry. That probably sounds weird.”

“It does, but that’s okay. I like the fact that you’re different and you’re honest. It’s comforting. You’re a better man than all of those crooked cops walking around beating up women and mobsters alike.”

“You think so?” He asks.

“Yeah, I do.” You smile. This time it’s a real smile. Ed smiles too. It’s nice to know after everything he’s done for you to make you comfortable, you can say something to make him feel better.

“I’m sorry all of this has been so awful for you.” He says.

“I know we’re doing good and it’s important to do good in a world of so much bad, but sometimes I just wish nobody had to do it. I can’t even fathom what would make somebody what kill another person. Maybe out of necessity, but it scares me that people actually enjoy it.”

“Yeah.” Ed shifts uncomfortably. You think he must agree with you and that’s why he’s unconformable. You don’t know that he killed Officer Doherty for abusing Kristen just over a month ago.

The two of you talk for quite some time until you end up falling asleep next to him on the couch. He doesn’t mind when you fall into his lap. He lets you sleep, smiling down at you. He didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to wake you. He was afraid of breathing too deeply and shifting too much underneath you. He eventually falls asleep sitting up with you still in his lap.

Everything is peaceful until you shoot up screaming, in a cold sweat. You’ve had another nightmare. This time is different. You’re disoriented. You don’t know where you are. You feel hands touching you.

“(Y/N), it’s me! It’s Ed! You had another nightmare.” You look at his face to see him distraught, unsure of what to do. Your tossing and turning had woken him up. He was awake only seconds before you.

Your eyes begin to well with tears. “I just want it to stop. When will all of this stop?” You cry.

“When will what stop?” He asks.

“Everything! I just want to stop feeling like this. I want to stop being afraid. I should be used to the job by now.”

“Maybe you just need more time to get used to it! I know we talked about time management earlier. I can help you with your schedule.” He offers.

“I don’t want to manage my time. I just want it to freeze. I just wish time would freeze so I could just breathe and catch up!”

Ed looks at you defeated. He doesn’t know what to say. He likes riddles because riddles always have answers. He doesn’t know what to do when there’s a problem with no solution.

“I’m sorry.” He settles with saying. “Would a hug help?” He’s just grasping at anything he’s seen people do when trying to comfort other people with problems and no solutions.

“Yes.” You say quietly, burying your head in his chest. Despite being the one to offer the hug, he’s a little awkward at first. He eventually settles in.

“Is this helping?” He asks.

“Yes.” You tell him. Of course, Ed being who he is, even now he’s still looking for a solution. He doesn’t realize he may be the solution, or at least someone to help make the problem smaller. “You always help.” You add.

“I’m sure most of our coworkers would disagree.” He laughs.

“I never thanked you for earlier today.” You say quietly.

“It was nothing.” He smiles.

“No, Ed. Keeping me safe in a life or death situation isn’t nothing.”

“I’m sure anyone would have done it.” He argues.

“No, they wouldn’t have.” You tell him.

“I’ll always protect you.” He pulls you closer, shifting awkwardly underneath you. “You know… my apartment is always open if you want to sleep with me- I- I mean sleep with me in attendance- I- I mean sleep with each other- I- I mean near each other- you know! In case you have nightmares!”

“I might just have to take you up on that. This is the first night I’ve felt okay enough to be able to maybe go back to sleep afterwards.” You smile, trying not to laugh. You don’t want him to think you’re making fun of him. Truthfully you think he’s sweet and funny.

“You should go back to sleep and since I didn’t get to make you dinner I’ll be making you the best breakfast of your life tomorrow.” He beams.

“You better.” You snuggle into him. Ed is too awkward to suggest you go lay in his bed tonight and you’re too tired to care. You spend the rest of the night on the couch together. You can save the bed for tomorrow night. You know when you wake up in the morning you’ll be coming back. It was the most sleep you’ve gotten in weeks.

Ed wakes up before you and sneaks off the couch to start breakfast. He truthfully was a very good cook. His own sensory issues with food made him very particular about how it’s prepared. You wake up to the smell of something good in the oven. Ed is nowhere to be seen, but you hear him in the bathroom. He’s talking. You knew he often talked to himself, but he sounded like he was talking to someone else. Maybe he was on the phone. You were sure you were hearing one half of a conversation.

“I told you we could trust them. They like me for me. They think I’m a good man.”

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

thought to myself u know what. i havent watched falsettos enough. so here's a couple things i noticed in my latest impromptu rewatch (rewatch number 52th probably?? 67th?) + just some nice bits n parallel that are always Good (tm):

"he loves another" "i agree" with ("-man") going unsaid

the chess games following trina's song about stupid men and their little games

"that's the king. please protect him" That's marvin saying "please protect me. don't hurt me"

whizzer moves the pieces randomly in the revival but i like to imagine he's actually beating marvin at the game in the end... and the whole thing was him pretending to not know how to play, and that hurt marvin's ego more than anything

"now marvin, bend" as a sexy moment but later gets re-framed as a "unwillingness to change perspective" moment

"nothing is everything to me / except sex / and money" in that money whizzer is playing to marvin's insecurity that he's only sticking with marvin for his money- is so needlessly cruel (and thus such... delicious character writing lol)

"and he loves me so" that "so" at the end is sort of a "loves me so much" but also a dare. he loves me, so what can you even do about that?"

"ask me if i love him, it depends on the day"// "do i love him?… no"

"son with a brain, and nice bright mother" showing mendel is like marvin (+ many, many men) and wants a wife half just to do domestic labor for him (goes well with the "washing your laundry, washing your socks!" line)

"he loves his father" // "i love things i never had"

"im everything he wanted" here trina finally realizes how she was such a insecure woman for such a long time and why she could put up with so much / settle for so little ("love me for what i am, not what i try to be" etc)

i love that "what ive done to you is rotten" is the slap to trina, is not taking to jason about his sexuality, and is Also telling trina and jason he "never ever, wanted to love" them. triple treat of bad parenting lol (but our man gets there in the end #bless him)

"a man kid, you'll be kid, whatever your song" the kind of reversed coming out metaphor of it all. ugh. so good!! (also i always cry at this bit bc... i will never have this with my parents :) rip haha whoops)

"pretty boys are in demand" just a good line for the whole gay men dying everywhere + the 'dating frenzy' energy of the era

"im not a giant man" /"good" // "one day i hope to be / as mature as my son who is 12 and a half / and this tall… that's all i want to be, that's all"

"we'll spent BILLIONS of dollars" and then the actual thing plays the way it does

"making the most pathetical errors" as a metaphor for marvin's arc…. making constant errors in love but making a homerun at the end

"should i take this new promotion OR should i take this IBM job?" is an amazing, anti-corporate lyric that fits greatly w/ the most explicitly political (likely authorial) song in the musical that, imho, shouldn't have been cut in the revival. in hindsight tho i imagine the revival people felt very proud and """progressive""" when they made that cut lol is very much a typical liberal move: "cant have true emancipation or revolutions but u cant have some \~upward mobility in the job market xoxo". also on the same vein, cutting the line "i'll change my life, and hire a maid" from the og "and fire the maid" like it's this huge feminist moment lol ughhhh hh

(other line-cuts that frustrate me… "it's queer, mr. marvin", "i could use a little drink" and "i just bought a family" . i feel w/ all of these they tooks some "edge" of the OG characters and kind of attempted to make them "nicer". but it really just makes them a little flatter, a little less real) ( and also some scenes just plain make less sense (marvin's drink line leading to his outburst)

(but bc it's not All Bad sdklfj in fairness, i belie the whole "why don't we tell him, that we don't have the awnsers? (…) this is the start to his becoming a man" bit - is SUCH a great part for mendel, it goes so hard and from what i remember is not in the original falsettos? correct me if im wrong but if it was a new addition in the revival, imo it's a huge improvement to the scene flow… and dare i say, brings the whole climax together, and spells out The Aesop for people who hadn't gotten it by the end of Act 2) -"let me go, im not ashamed to have loved you" // "what's the matter trina, darling, why cant you let go?" -"feel all right for the rest of your life" The Message of the play implicit in it.. "even if it's cut short"

"you save lives, and i serve chicken fat / i can't fucking deal wit hthat" / "maybe is not dumb the way this whole thing ends / the food tastes really yummy!"

"it's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder" /"but i confess, you grow up, you get old, you hate less"

"the ground shifting, the rules keeps changing" and it's when the set changes for the first time!!! (/eats all my walls)

"isn't it enough i love you every night?" "who?" // "we had trouble parking, just like on our second date" "i hyperventilate"

"good men never fail" // "but i can't help but feeling i've failed " proving once again those machista lessons marvin learned when young were wrong.... it's clear that him showing weakness at that moment to whizzer was The Right Thing To Do. and what the moment called for.

"the last little mountain ill climb" sound of music ref? maybe?

i only wanted to love and not be blamed " // "who would i blame my life on?"

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #7526:

As someone with ADHD, being an anime fan is a struggle sometimes. Because the more English VAs coming out as being total asshats, entitled brats or worse(not gonna say but I think some of you know what I am referring to) to translators not doing their jobs and actually translate accurately and not change it for a some kind of political agenda, I really want to give subs another try. Problem is that I every time I watch subs, I get frustrated because I have to continuously rewatch a scene multiple times because I was reading what the subtitles were saying and missed the actual scene or I was watching the scene and not pay attention to the subtitles. After doing that so many times its becomes far less enjoyable and more of a chore at that point.

And whenever I try to explain this to a fellow anime fan when they ask why I watch dubs over subs, I have to explain its because my brain just doesn't want to cooperate with subs and I get something along the lines of "sounds like you're just being lazy lol". It especially hurts if they're someone that has ADHD too and say that they can do it, so that must means I can do it too but I am not trying hard enough.

Makes me wonder if I should just give up anime and strictly read manga. Then again, manga isn't safe from virtual signaling translators either. Goddamn.

[applecoreyearning]

Is just me or does this season feel crazy predictable? I feel like season 1 + 2 each ep I was gagged? Like each episode had me on the edge of my seat. Idk if it’s the overall plot of the season, or the pacing, or the character development? something just feels off. It could also be that I’m watching the show with people for the first time or that it’s the first time i’m just watching it episode by episode.

Things that bug me (also if i’m missing some details i do have the memory of a goldfish)

Other tai just slipping in conveniently when she’s going to shoot coach and she’s NOT asleep - does she just have multiple personality disorder? is the trauma that made it develop from her grandmother passing or the plane crash? they could have put a scene or two of child tai sleepwalking/changing alters as a child, or another instance of other tai coming out in the previous season/or just subtle instances. BC it just seemed like a lazy/easy way to just progress the plot. but again maybe the rest of the season will tie it in better

The time jump is the biggest one. the cabin burning down was such a huge thing and to barely acknowledge that is wild. I also would LOVE to know how they survived the rest of the winter 🙂‍↕️ we have barely seen nat in a leadership role - how did she keep them alive? where did they live? how did they rebuild? once it wasn’t life or death how did they cope? this would have been a great place to start really developing the shauna/nat power struggle.

shauna being unhinged- i love it it’s great for her character and i get why she’s that way… but what happened to her relationship w tai? like yes she was unhinged in the second season but now it feels very shauna and melissa vs the rest of the group. ik she was pretty isolated in the cabin too but it feels worse outside? she has no other meaningful character interactions rn besides small one offs w nat…. also like give melissa more to her character esp if she’s a survivor? all ik about her is she stands behind shauna and yells one liners… like yea they kissed but how is that affecting shauna? is she realizing she was gay for jackie? or is she just dragging melissa along to keep her loyal to her? what’s keeping her tied to her humanity?

WHAT HAPPENED TO CRYSTAL

the yellow filter if it’s not a plot device

also like did they all have the same dream? if they did are they not going to explore that more?

lottie dying? like why what was the point of the shoplifting and coming over to shauna’s? did she know some one was after her? why the 50k?

The adult time line seems disjointed somehow?

them saying it’s getting cold again… where did the time go?

Overall there’s been just a lot of changes w/o context that feel jarring to the plot idk. this was also just a brain dump really! i def am going to rewatch after it all comes out fs 🙂‍↕️ this also isn’t to say i don’t love the show and im so happy we got another season!

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 4 production Notes

Again, I genuinely didn't think I'd have anything to say at this point about this episode. I had such a good time the first time I watched it, just smiling the whole way through. There is one thing that did stick in my brain a little bit though so here I am again with another post.

Episode Break Points

We honestly can't be making any final conclusions at this point but there is starting to emerge a picture of how the production team approached the development of this show as an episodic release. The question that was rattling around my brain after watching episode 4 was how they are choosing their cut points between episodes. We really only have three data points right now which is not enough to definitively identify their intent but it does start to paint the picture a little bit. Sometimes, the break point is beyond obvious, like cutting ep.2 at the end of the USA trip. But when there's not a definitive line, a choice has to be made when to bring one episode to a close and start another.

Some shows use the changing of the day as a break point but that's not necessarily always the best choice to make for the narrative of the show. For example, the break between eps 1 and 2 is in the morning after JK has his coffee and makes the stone tower. This better served the momentum of the episode and wrapped up the story beat of JM's rough night. Ep 2 then starts on a high note with JK's motorbike ride. In my opinion, this was an excellent choice as we close ep.1 feeling all cozy and ep.2 begins with a little bit of excitement.

A Look Back

So why am I bringing this up now? It's because I was so confused as the choice of when to break these two episodes. I don't know if I've decided if it was good/bad/somewhere-in-between but I absolutely was not expecting Episode 4 to start the way it did. Ep 3 ends at the Go Karts and feels like a complete story beat. While ep 4 starts with the drive to the Omakase.

To me, it feels like we're picking up on the last remains of the previous episode and not starting a new section. Which is honestly, kind of counterintuitive. Why would it feel like that? They're literally on their way to the next activity. I suspect it has more to do with the tonal momentum. The guys are still coming down from all of the energy they expended from Rock Climbing and racing and are having a well-deserved relaxing drive. Even the brief moments we see of JK on the motorbike are quite chill. (mostly because there's not really a great way to get action footage on a bike in the dark lol).

So...to see if I could support my suspicion, or if I was just bringing something else into my viewing experience, I decided to rewatch the whole series so far and rank every story beat on a scale for how energetic/intense I felt the narrative was supporting.

A couple of notes before you judge my rankings:

This data is the very definition of subjective. if I redid this same exercise even the next day, I'm sure I would disagree with myself on certain rankings so you certainly don't have to agree with my rankings.

If a storybeat had a noticeable tonal shift, I entered it twice and included both rankings. If it just varied a bit, I entered a ranking more representative of the scene as a whole.

This won't be reflective of the time occupied by each story beat. Some sections are longer than others but with sustained energy so it doesn't translate in this visual representation how much of an impact on the overall tone of the episode any one of these are.

I also added a star at the end of each episode of my median scores. I feel that this was a better representation of the overall tone of each episode rather than an average but that's just my personal view on this teeny dataset. Please don't come for me analytics folks! This is just a post for funzies, not proper analysis!

So What?

The point was curious about is in the gap between eps 3 & 4. Everywhere else there's a pretty clear shift in the start and end of the energy but that gap looks like it was just a step that was missed in what could have been a continual episode.

Here are the runtimes of each episode so far:

USA: 56 min

USA: 72 Min

Jeju: 56 min

Jeju: 70 min

I don't have any conclusions about why it was done this way other than they felt the tonal break was the sacrifice for keeping the Omakase story line in tact. Which honestly, I agree. There would have been time to include the drive in the previous episode but it would have left us on an unfinished storybeat. This is one of the reasons that we never get footage of the members return trip from their travel shows. Bon Voyage ends every episode with the members remarking on the trip overall. Even though we know they have to return home, we don't see it because that would start to build energy for whatever they're doing next and not the story of their trip.

Even in ITS1 when the members do return home in the middle, we see them packing up and getting in the cars but the episode ends before they really start traveling. (Actually it ends before they even let Jin in the car so they're definitely not on their way yet!)

Commercials?

I have a question for anyone that's watching this with ads. I don't really watch streaming content so I'm curious, do the ad breaks just randomly occur? Or does it seem like they're intentionally scheduled? Building story breaks for commercials was a huge focus of legacy tv and I'd be interested to learn more about how streaming services are incorporating it (not enough to not have commercials though, I get insta-rage when the content I'm consuming is interrupted lol). I vaguely remember getting frustrated when I was attempting to watch something at my parent's over the holidays but I don't recall if it seemed structured or not.

That's it. That's all I've got to say right now. We're definitely getting a lot more to the story of this show and I'm absolutely loving it. I'm going to be away for a bit next week and I honestly don't know when I'll fit in watching episode 5 but I'm very much looking forward to it!

If you've seen this post and are interested in some more of my thoughts on Are You Sure, here's a link to my AYS MasterList. Still can't believe I've rambled so much about this show but it's been fun! Thanks to everyone that's been rambling with me!

[thechy-fychannel]

You said you think pre-infarction house was an addict-can you expand on that? What drugs were he hooked on and why did he fully switch to vicodin and never used others again? Did he ever reach a go-to-rehab level addiction? How did wilson handle that? And what was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think she would have been a lot more forgiving than cuddy because 1. She herself is a smoker who goes back to cigarettes during hard time and 2. Unlike cuddy, she didn't have a small child to worry about.

Ahhh thank you sm, I love this question!!! Let's get into it ✨

So my theory is that house was abusing morphine prior to the infarction. here are my reasons for thinking so:

1. Three Stories- the entire reason house's infarction was as bad as it was is bc everyone except house was convinced he was just drug seeking at first. it makes absolutely zero sense for them to think that unless he already had a history of drug seeking. unless I misremember (anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) he already worked at PPTH for a while before the infarction happened. so it was the same doctors he knew and interacted with every single day that saw him screaming in agony and chose to believe he was just trying to seek drugs and not actually in pain. he had to have a history, it just doesn't make sense otherwise for them to assume he was drug seeking.

2. one very specific line in No Reason (the episode where house is shot and the whole episode is a hallucination). when house, wilson, and cuddy are in her office and house is realizing they did something to his brain (the ketamine treatment) cuddy says this specific line: "You were out of control, you were shooting morphine!" This line has always stuck out to me and no one ever seems to mention it. It's very out of place bc the conversation they're having is about him being shot and them doing something to him while he was under. I think this was his brain connecting this event to the last time someone did something to him while he was unconscious, trying to rationalize these traumatic events.

3. In early s3 when the pain comes back, he begs cuddy to give him a shot of morphine in his spine (the scene where he drops his pants in her office and asks her in tears if the scar is all in his head too since she thinks the pain is all in his head.) cuddy gives him the shot and he comes back looking for another one later on, after the pain comes back again. she informs him that she never gave him morphine, it was saline. the fact that the pretend morphine worked suggests he had a mental dependency on it. I'm pretty sure this is the point where he goes back to vicodin (it's been a few months since I did my last rewatch so I could be wrong). I think had she actually given him morphine, he likely would've become addicted to it again. Just the thought of the morphine was enough to have him looking for more.

4. Wilson's tendency to jump straight to heroin use when he thinks house is on something other than vicodin. it happens more than once in the series when house starts acting just the slightest bit off, wilson leaps to the conclusion that he's on heroin. which is an insane leap to make unless it's something he's had to worry about in the past. I think the reason wilson would jump to heroin over morphine is if he knows what it looks like when house is high on morphine. If house used to abuse morphine, wilson would be able to recognize it and if he can't, it must be something much worse. this again plays into why I think he was an addict prior to the infarction even if it wasn't morphine, because who in their right mind would jump to their best friend using heroin if that person didn't have a long history of abusing similar drugs?

Now to answer your other questions:

Why did he switch to vicodin and not go back to others he may have been addicted to? I can tell you from personal experience that while morphine feels great, it makes you hazy and tired and out of it. I think once he was prescribed vicodin after his surgery and learned that he could function on it and not feel hazy, it was a match made in heaven for him (he says a few times in the show that vicodin doesn't make him hazy, so he immediately knows if he's on something else bc he feels hazy.) He didn't need to switch to anything else as long as he had access to vicodin bc he got the high, the pain relief, and no haziness. but when he got cut off of his vicodin during the tritter ordeal, he stole oxycodone (I think?) from wilson's dead patient. so if he didn't have vicodin, it's safe to assume he would go back to whatever he had access to.

Did he ever reach rehab level addiction? / What was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think if we go based off his colleagues thinking he was drug seeking + cuddy saying he was out of control and shooting up morphine, I would say yes, it was rehab level addiction. But— I feel like if it had been that bad, stacy would've mentioned it in some sort of capacity during her arc when they were discussing their relationship. she never hints at him being an addict as far as I can remember. she loved and cared about house so much that she was willing to accept him hating her if it meant he was alive and healthy. I feel like if his addiction had been dangerous, she would've done anything to get him help the same way she did during his infarction. even if it meant going against his wishes and him hating her, she would've insisted he got help. so I'm conflicted on that question, honestly. I think maybe it depends on the perspective of those around him. maybe those at the hospital saw something stacy didn't, I'm not sure. but I agree with what you said about her being more forgiving and understanding of it than cuddy was. I think if he had been an addict while they were together, she would've given him an endless amount of chances until it became dangerous, that's when she would put her foot down and try to force him into rehab and their relationship probably would've crumbled for a whole different reason.

How did Wilson handle his addiction? I think house being an addict prior to the infarction plays perfectly into the theme of wilson emotionally neglecting his wives for house. we obviously don't have an exact timeline of his marriages aside from his first one ending just before house and wilson met, but it's pretty safe to assume that he was married to and even possibly divorced from bonnie before the infarction ever happened since he seems to have been married to julie for a little while in the beginning of the show.

[sidenote: here is my personal timeline HC for wilson's marriages.

Sam: 1991-1992 (canon)

Bonnie: 1993-1998

Julie: 1999 (before infarction) - 2005]

In the episode where house uses bonnie to get dating info about wilson, she says the iconic line, "You always needed him and he was always there for you. He had a wife waiting for him at home and you didn't care." And it just makes sense if the reason house always needed him was because of his struggles with addiction. house in general is a needy person who always wanted wilson's affection to himself, that much is clear, but wilson had to of had a good excuse to always run off for whatever it is house needed from him prior to him being disabled.

Getting into more specifics about how wilson would've handled his addiction back then— I think he would've handled it similarly to the way he did with the vicodin. he's an enabler unfortunately, he would've let house make excuses and made excuses for him because he tries to give house the benefit of the doubt that he can control himself. I think back then even more so, because house wasn't in pain and disabled, wilson had no reason to think house couldn't control himself. I think it's even possible that wilson was in denial about it too, he didn't want to believe his best friend was an addict and maybe he felt like he needed to protect house when others started accusing him of such. I think that may be why wilson asked cuddy to make that bet with house to find out if he was addicted to vicodin. he ignored it and denied it last time and he's enabled him for years since the infarction, he wanted to know if he was treating house's pain or still enabling an addict. the answer was both, which makes it no less complicated. but like with all of house's issues, wilson continues to stand by him and be there for him bc he loves him and wants him in his life, addict or no addict.

[lost-inanotherlife]

"316" meta part I: Beyond the "Man of Faith vs Man of Science" dichotomy.

I had initially planned to finish all my S5 meta before I started my S6 rewatch but that’s not a viable option anymore because it already takes me MONTHS to complete one season rewatch and I’d like to finish my LOST Rewatch After 20 Years (started in June 2024) before 2025 ends (lol), preferably by June 2025.

So, finally, here is my “316” meta! It was a promise I had made and that I’d never delivered on so sorry about that ^^”. I really hope you guys enjoy it! I love this episode <3!

 What does “316” actually mean?

The premise of this meta is that 316 refers to John 3:16:  “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. Ngl, I’m following this interpretation because it fits with my analysis of “White Rabbit” (part I, part II, additional thoughts), of which “316” is the companion episode. I strongly recommend to read that meta as well because the two episodes are highly interconnected since “316” is a sort of “continuation” of what Jack was going through in S1 in “White Rabbit”.

If this is the premise, then we gotta ask: who is this “only begotten Son”? The episodes points to four male, only child characters: Daniel, Ben, John and Jack. Let’s see who’s the “Son” the episode is alluding to (I know you know who the “Son” is, but let’s see what’s “behind the scenes” in this episode).

Daniel Faraday is not physically present, but he’s indirectly inferred thanks to Eloise’s presence and directly mentioned by Desmond:

DESMOND: [Sighs, scoffs] I came here to deliver a message. [To Eloise] Daniel Faraday—your son—sent me here. He wanted me to tell you that he and all the people on the Island need your help. He said that only you could help them. He didn't say Jack. He didn't say Sun. He didn't say Ben. He said you.

Daniel is important because, in the context of this episode, he is the “Man of Science”. He’s the man that actually comes up with ideas and theories that are based on facts, on science. We don’t know it yet, but basically Eloise encouraged, almost forced, Daniel into an academic career in Physics precisely for ONE reason: the Island. I’d love for Daniel to be the “only begotten Son” because that would make Eloise a parallel to God and that pleases me to no end, it’s just too good, I’m sorry. I mean, it’s utterly tragic but it tingles my storytelling brain cells in a pleasing way. Alas, this is not the case because the “Son” we’re looking for is an… apocalyptic type of Son. A Son that saves people and ends the story. This is not who Daniel is but he’s nevertheless absolutely crucial in all this and you’ll see why.

Ben is physically present in the Lamp Post and he’s immediately marked by deception.

JACK: [To Ben] Did you know about this place? BEN: No. No, I didn't. JACK: [To Eloise] Is he telling the truth? ELOISE: [Chuckling] Probably not.

Ben is also important because he’s the “Man of Cons”, he’s the man who represents hurdles, obstacles, complications. He is, quite literally, the man who turns the wheel and who puts things into motion. In this episode, however, he spouts off opinions about “belief”, he theatrically prays in the church, he tells the story of St. Thomas the Apostle implying that he is the Jesus of this story, that HE is the chosen Son. But we all know by now that Ben is no Jesus, he’s not Thomas either. Perhaps he can be Judas Iscariot if he wants to be so much like a character from the Bible. Ben embodies Betrayal, a necessary feature in every story about Faith.

So if Ben is Judas, does that make John the “Son”? Let’s see. The show always blurs the line with John and this episode finally tells us why: John Locke is a “proxy”, a substitute, someone who will help someone else get back to the island:

JACK: [Sighs] Why would he kill himself? ELOISE: Ohh... there are many reasons, I'm sure, but the only one that matters is this—he is going to help you get back. John is going to be a proxy. A substitute. JACK: A substitute for who? ELOISE: Jack... who do you think?

He’s not someone that you follow but he’s someone who prepares someone else become the person that other people follow. He’s the prophet, like John the Baptist was. John is the messianic figure that anticipates a bigger figure than himself. He’s the one who prophesizes the Coming of the Son. John is the “Man of Faith” who’s certain of his word, perhaps a little too much for his own good.

So what do we have here so far? A man of science, a man of cons and a man of faith. Interesting. The Son will have to be someone who possesses all three of these things: "science" to base his beliefs onto something real, "cons" to put his beliefs to test when necessary and "faith" to believe in the veracity of his beliefs. But what are these beliefs about? What does this “Son” believe in? Well, he must believe that he… can do it.

JACK: My father... is gone. My father has been dead for three years. You want me to... [scoffs] a—and to give it to Locke?! He's in a coffin! This is ridiculous! ELOISE: Oh, stop thinking how ridiculous it is and start asking yourself whether or not you believe it's going to work. That's why it's called a leap of faith, Jack.

So, of course, you already know by now that the “Son” is Jack Shephard. The "leap of faith" he's got to do is a leap of faith in... himself. He's not St. Thomas who follows Jesus. He's the One people follow. We can start the meta about the episode now (hahahah).