#but the moment i’m alone?
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i was not made for work from home bc i did NOTHING all day i literally just sat here and now it’s 2am and i’m doing my work that due tomorrow at 3 i love adhd i do NOT stay on task if someone isn’t near me
#when people are around i’m like “okay we actually have to look like we’re working so let’s work”#but the moment i’m alone?#i go thrift shopping#i call my grandmother#i take long walks#i cook#i learn how to crochet#i watch frances ha for the 12millionth time#i stand in front of the mirror and sing all the parts of les mis#i play pretend#at least i know im interesting#but alas#i need this job#elle talks
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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i see your “bruce wayne laughs in upper class, 100 dollar bills fall from his lips when he chuckles, etc etc” take and i agree wholeheartedly but also i raise you
“bruce who doesn’t really laugh at things out loud like that really, he’s more of a nose exhale, brief grin and intense eye contact conveying his emotions” type of guy but sometimes
something will happen that constitutes, his full on body laugh and when its an instinctual thing it’s so rare that bruce doesn’t have a failsafe for that reflex and the person they’re with just,, stops
because the laugh they’re so used to can’t be compared to this genuine deep, heavy with emotion and feeling laugh that fills his lungs and your soul- and they just wish he would do that all of the time instead of his wooden paparazzi simpering and its something so stark that it throws them for a loop
and idk i just love watching bruce expose layers of himself to those he loves without consciously doing so
#this can be read as platonic or romantic honeslty i just like rice exposing vulnerabilities to the people he love’s subconsciously cause he#trusts them instinctively and that’s a whole can of worms he’s not ready to deal with after a childhood of solitude and isolation#and not matter how many years go by he never really left that moment in the alley#alone - surrounded by the#corpses of his childhood protectors thrust into a position of responsibility he was never meant to be in bjt he took it with honour#i’m on my cassandra is the true gotham#protector agenda again ignore me#dc#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#superbat#batlantern#wonderbat#batcat#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#red hood
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They got me gal. They got me again.
#back when season 1 came out I couldn’t draw men let alone older ones but now I have just enough range for these idiots#I’m rewatching s1 at the moment and there’s a hyper fixation afoot I fear#prepare to be sick of me#anyway#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffible husbands#art#artwork#my art#fanart#digital art#drawing#aziracrow
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Absolutely crazy when you think about it that the most selfish thing Jayce ever did for love was bring Viktor back to life and the most selfless thing he ever did for love is shoot Viktor through the chest; and both were about finding a way to save him
#jayvik#arcane#he is suffering SO MUCH in the shooting scene#imagine he’s been alone and in so much pain and all he wants is his partner back#but step one is he has to recreate the explosion that killed Viktor in the first place#possibly the worst single moment of Jayce’s life#and even with everything he knows he almost can’t do it he’s in so much pain#I’m still in shambles about it
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I hate to be that one person who’s like when ur so busy ur not consumed by other people or being in a relationship blah blah blah …. But truly when u have ur hands full you could fucking care less and it’s so liberating
#Like the moment you get busy the desperation to be seen by other ppl#Both platonically and romantically#Goes away so fast#I’m very dangerous when I’m in these moods bc it’s easy to push good ppl away when you’re too#Focused on yourself#But also I like not being that anxious about anyone#Like it’s not that deep#It’s its own kind of nice even though ik it’s such a slippery slope#Also the obsession to be in a relationship or the being scared of being alone goes away so fast#It truly sucks that the “have hobbies/goals” advice works so well but it DOES#Not that I’m advocating for anyone to be a hermit like ofc human connection still matters#The desperation is just not there so it’s much less high stakes if it’s not in ur life rn#Like how can you be wasting time if ur getting to know urself better
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Shoutout to my guy Animated Optimus Prime, who speedran the obligatory Optimus Death Arc in the first four episodes of the series and then proceeded to emphatically Not Die whenever an opportunity presented itself specifically to ruin Megatron’s day
#what a guy#I’m nearly certain he’s running on Spite Alone by the end of the series#and I wholeheartedly support him#animated Optimus prime#transformers: animated#it’s a fun switch from the classic Optimus Dies In A Finale moment#funky fresh as it were#he also was dead for like two minutes#that’s gotta be an Optimus Resurrection Record#transformers
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seriously I don’t think any show has captured the pain of being a bystander more than miseinen. like i just can’t stop thinking about everything he’s told in this episode and everything he sees and how powerless he is to do anything about it. when you say bystander, you think of people that chose to do nothing, who just stand on the sidelines and watch but don’t get involved. and maybe that’s how minase started out, but this show proves over and over again that it’s not a choice anymore. given the choice and ability, minase would stand up and do something. he’s not the person anymore stood outside hirukawa’s house with the emergency number dialed but ultimately doesn’t do it. bc he cares too much now, and when you care, you want to help. but the world is so rigid in what they expect of him and hirukawa that there is no way to help.
i keep thinking about what the teacher said at the start of the ep. this doesn’t concern you. it’s already settled. don’t make your parents worry. when minase says he’s telling the truth, he’s told to focus on what’s important- and so the truth isn’t important here, neither is what hirukawa thinks or minase thinks. it’s what someone has already decided they are, and they are just too busy or just don’t care enough to go to the effort to see whether that decision is right. it doesn’t affect them whether hirukawa is the awful person they think he is or misunderstood, to them he’s just a part of the job they want to deal with and move on. even though no other adults are as present as hirukawa’s dad or minase’s mom, the show still has these small moments that show us that there is no other option for them to get help bc no one at school cares either. i said before they live in a world of ignorance where they’re unable to ignore, and so they deal with it all instead of being able to find help. and it feels equally horrible when you consider that unlike a parent, who yes should feel some responsibility or obligation but ultimately there’s nothing holding them to that, teachers are employed and paid to care, they should help these kids as much as they teach them, so to see them chose ignorance too is just as hurtful.
and back to minase, this episode showed us perfectly how much it can hurt when you know you can’t do anything. he can’t comfort hirukawa no matter how much he wants to if hirukawa won’t let him, he can’t change his mind and how he thinks of himself bc hirukawa’s trauma traps him in that mindset. he can’t stay by hirukawa’s side and support him if hirukawa sends him anyway, he can’t fight against what someone who’s hurting wants, all he can do is listen, bc no one ever listens to what hirukawa wants, so he will, even if it hurts him, even if he knows that it’ll hurt hirukawa too. minase is done with being a bystander but even here he is forced to be one, bc the truth doesn’t get through to hirukawa just like it didn’t get through to that teacher. what’s right, which would be to stay with hirukawa and help him, doesn’t matter just like it didn’t matter to that teacher, all he can do is listen and do as they say when people tell him to walk away, that he can’t do anything. and that’s why this show is excellent, bc it makes me feel the pain of knowing but being powerless just as much as I do the pain of actually experiencing these things.
#I might be a bit broken#this show is just too good#it’s too excellent#the acting from these two this ep was just fucking off the charts#the way hirukawa’s response to this was almost cold and stoic you could see the shock and the confusion of what he’s supposed to feel about#this and you also get the moments where the hurt and emotion breaks through and he just breaks down#and you get the desperation that minase feels to help and support and stop hirukawa from blaming himself. he just wants to do something even#if it’s just be there for him and make it so that he doesn’t have to go through this alone but he can’t even do that bc he can’t fight what#hirukawa wants even if he knows it’s not what he truly wants- he knows how hirukawa feels about him but he also knows how difficult this is#for hirukawa to reckon with and he knows how hirukawa will burden himself before he does anyone else and that’s not good but it’s what#hirukawa thinks and feels and as much as you want to stop that there’s no switch no magic words he can say to get him out of that mindset#and so he has to go bc it’s what hirukawa wants and minase is the only person that actually listens to him#god I’m in pain#miseinen#our youth
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[ cw: referenced mind control / parasites / intrusive thoughts (only in the tags) / ]
(This is just a fun “what if” so bear with me-) I know we make mention of the potential for Krang remnants to be stuck with Raph and/or Donnie, but Mikey and Leo also had a moment with the other two where a type of Krang goop was crawling beneath their skin (this being immediately after Raph broke free.)
So I raise you the potential for all four of them to have a bit of that Krang parasite on them…and for that to have unforeseen consequences.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#yeah I remember that moment where the boys were all confined after Raph broke free and I’m shocked it doesn’t get brought up more tbh#maybe I’m remembering it wrong? but I swear they have Krang gunk crawling beneath their skin#it was darker Krang goo than normal so maybe that’s why it didn’t spark as much attention but hey - Krang goo is Krang goo and angst thrive#something in particular that’s been on my mind is the very very scary potential of like#okay so- you know how the Krang have a hivemind?#well…Krang One’s main sworn goal was moved from taking over the earth…to focusing on Leo alone to take his wrath#and…so…#not a fun time for anyone!#intrusive thoughts from every bro whispered by the Krang parasites in their heads#all of them - Leo included - having to refrain from wanting to harm Leo as that’s the last ‘goal’ the Krang had#mAY BE TOO DARK BUT MY MIND SAID HAHHA WHAT IF
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#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#shaunanat#jackienat#jackieshauna#shackie#jackieshaunanat#shauna x nat#jackie x nat#jackie x shauna#yellowjackets#*#i’m obsessed with this moment. earlier in the episode we see nat sitting outside just staring at jackie’s bones. she’s clearly been thinkin#this over. that they can’t just leave her there. a visual reminder of what they did. making them all feel sick#that jackie deserved better. that in death. even now that she’s just bones. she deserves a burial or something. and nat takes initiative.#comes up with a plan and shares it with the group. but even then she looks to shauna for permission or maybe reassurance? maybe it’s out of#respect. they all remember how shauna reacted when it was initially suggested they get rid of jackie’s body. this is hard on all of them#jackie’s death and what they did. but they all know it’s affecting shauna the most.#maybe nat is even hoping shauna will want to help or that someone else besides natalie is feeling the way she is. that she won’t have to do#this alone. that someone else wants to honor jackie or feels as sick as she does about it. and they clearly do!! so many of them feel that.#i mean maybe only shauna and taissa are feeling it as strongly as she does? but shauna is kind of in shock and sick with guilt and grief an#in no place to meet nat half way here. she’s retreating into herself. and tai doesn’t even remember eating jackie. think she’s still#processing that it even happened. that they all aren’t lying to her. and also dealing with the knowledge that she’s having memory gaps.#dissociating. so nobody that is present there with natalie is feeling the way she is. lottie seems to think it was necessary for their#survival (probably true and nat even tells jackie’s bones as much.) but lottie doesn’t seem to be feeling guilty and when she takes a mug#out to natalie while she’s wrapping the bones. nat seems angry at the way lottie is handling it. and travis offers to go with her but it#reads to me like he is worried about nat specifically and not that he’s feeling that bad about what happened. i think nat is just feeling s#alone in this episode. and the one person that gets that is shauna but she’s just not in an actionable state. just tells nat to take the#lead. dismisses responsibility in a way. she just can’t handle thinking about it. that last look nat gives shauna just feels soooo loaded.#like maybe there’s a little bit of judgment there. also likely worry. maybe understanding. idk maybe i am extrapolating and making shit up
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If Dirk were to ever go grimdark than it would force Hal into being the of voice of reason, something he rarely takes seriously.
Anyway do you guys ever think about how our generation’s formative years will always be defined by the fact that everyone is famous and no one is a hero? Or is that just me?
#homestuck#homestuck meme#dirk strider#lil hal#hal strider#autoresponder#grimdark homestuck#grimdark dirk#my Hal doodle did too well and I’m kinda pissed cause I’m STILL not proud of it so here’s an attempted redemption at drawing a strider#I’m working on more grimdark rose stuff and also multiple comics but wow is drawing hard these days#school be catching ya when you’re inspired#and inspiration leaves you the moment you’re alone
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I was rewatching mouthwashing, and I ended up thinking of the different reactions that Curly and Jimmy had in doing their tasks. How during the scene of Anya evaluating Jimmy and showing dread towards the idea of doing his evaluation, Curly was the one that offered to take it off her hands. He had no issue with adding more to his plate, because he knew - or well, thought, he knew that Jimmy wasn't going to "bullshit" with him since he's known him for a long time. When Anya hands Curly a note from Swansea, Curly goes to check out what the issue is and he takes care of it without a complaint, the only "complaint" he has is how this incident could have damaged the pods. Which is reasonable, those pods are their only way to be saved if anything tragic happens on the ship. However, in comparison to Jimmy being asked to do things, he's passive-aggressive about it. When Anya asks Jimmy if he could help her out with Curly's painkillers, he tells her that people should be worth their titles, specifically using her title as a nurse when she asked him for help and then when she says forget it, since he made her feel insecure, he still goes "Oh no, I'LL take care of it" as if he was doing a chore, a favor for her. Then, there's that part where he blows up at her for things that she didn't even ask him to do - more so the others asked him about it, like the code scanner, him deciding he needed to find the axe for the foam, and then, there's the medicine part (which when she does ask, and she reconsiders - going to do it herself, he takes that away from her). Jimmy complains about the tasks he has to do and he treats it like a big issue, a "woes me" that he has to do this and that - wanting the praise of the capital without actually doing any work. While Curly doesn't complain about it, in fact, he even mentions that he's aware of how well he is doing at his job as a Captain during that cockpit scene with him and Jimmy. If Jimmy only had to do a small amount of tasks to get irritated and annoyed at being captain, while Curly didn't which I feel like encapsulates their personalities. Curly understands what he's doing is a job, it's a responsibility, why would he complain at any point for doing what he's suppose too? Why would he be upset at people asking him to do tasks? While Jimmy on the other hand, isn't used to it at all and it's different to what he's had before and he's realizing that he doesn't actually like doing the work he has too. I just wanted to ramble about it even if it seemed kind of obvious xd
It’s obvious but it is a thing people miss or understate when trying to find parallels in Curly’s and Jimmy’s relationship/personalities.
Like the way people portray it as neither taking responsibility when it is almost split down the middle of Curly taking responsibilities and faults that shouldn’t be his and making himself unequipped to handle the ones that are while Jimmy refuses to handle the responsibilities he has because he wasn’t expecting the work that comes with them.
Not a lot to say but people forget that another thing the game comments on is prioritization of issues and responsibilities and how the guys fail at it in one way or another in the situation.
#this talk of responsibility is more so about me be very annoyed with people acting like Swansea was the most responsible man on that ship#when he immediately takes a break after his intern in stuck in the foam starts drinking the moment he find out the mouthwash is alcoholic#doesn’t tell anyone about the cryopod or explain himself and did nothing about Jimmy either until it was too late#like I’m sorry but he is also the last guy I’d like to hear about responsibility from cause he did just as bad as Curly post crash like he#wasn’t even nice to Anya outside the one conversation we see he was actually just as rude to her as he was Daisuke when they cracked open#the crates and dismissive before hand like I’m getting more mad at the glorification of one guy vs the woman whose doing the most 4 herself#like I get his speech and the recognition of his faults but he still had them and they still were his downfall in the end and part of the#reason Daisuke listened to Jimmy and it’s not his fault that happened but it’s the same way it’s not Curly’s fault Jimmy is like that#but I digress cause people don’t exactly like when we actually discuss the responsibilities the crew mates should’ve and shouldn’t have had#or what they actually did to help cause idk Anya likely would not feel supported by any of them after the fact if they survived like girl#only ever got attention for her problems when they were literally at the worst that’s not helping or taking responsibility like she had to#kill herself to feel some sort of relief also the irony about Curly’s concern about killing herself only#for it to get to the point she actually did because there was no safety for her they all failed her#Swansea would’ve just told her to tell the captain and he’d watch Jimmy and ultimately it would play out the same cause he’s tries to not#get to involved cause he’s old and been through enough already and she’d feel just as unheard like he was closer to Daisuke#and not once after the crash did he really try to steer him away from liking Jimmy which again he points out himself#like I love Swansea and Daisuke but they were just as complacent in Anya’s suffering and Jimmy’s behavior even if they knew less that should#not make them more viable options or it more excusable like crazy conclusions to comes to ig on my part but yall hate#the idea that maybe a major point is that Anya was alone as a woman and overlooked#mouthwashing#ask#mouthwashing game#anon#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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People have been asking me how I could relate to Stolas when Blitzø is the one they are trying to make you relate to throughout the entire series.
It’s just… the need to be always perfect and fit in the image of you others painted, the uncertainty and impossibility of living of your own accord all not to let others down, not knowing if/and/when you are imposing and just questioning each of the people in your life because maybe they feel obligated to be; the incapability of understanding social clues and being always in the corners or in the shadow during parties and social events…
I just… how can you NOT relate to Stolas?!
#is it just me?!#please tell me it’s not just me!#stolas goetia#helluva boss#I was having a nice day with my friends then my friends had to momentarily leave#and told me to wait for them#so now I’m alone and I’ve been for like 10 minutes but the thoughts…#are getting a lot#also the moment I posted that my friend called me to make sure I knew they would have come back#which I know it’s something she wouldn’t have done if I can function as a normal human being#and how could she know I have no clue#but still
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After Draco lied to his family and the snatchers about Harry being Harry - The Malfoy Manor
Lucius: So it was Harry Potter we just let escape…Draco you do realise that we are going to get punished for your stupidity?
Draco: …
Lucius: Why would you lie to us if you clearly knew what Potter looked like? Don’t you want Potter dead and us being alive and back to power?
Draco: …
After Harry risked his, Ron’s and Hermione’s lives to save Draco from FiendFyre in Room of Requirements
Ron: So we almost just bloody died because you decided to save that git - Malfoy?
Hermione: Harry, seriously, what was that about?
Harry: …
Ron: I swear to Merlin if you’re going to make us save his sorry arse once again I’m going to lose it!
Harry: …
#they do be saving each other#Drarry#Draco/harry#two sides of the same coin#deathly hallows#Lucius is like I’m about to lose it#I’m going to get killed#you’re going to get killed Draco#and it’s all because you wouldn’t let Potter die#we knew you were the only human who would be able to tell Potter by any and every small detail#yet you decided to lie to us#I might as well just kms#and Draco is like ❤️ MY HARRY IS SAFE♥️#if I die I die#who cares#what is there to live for anyways#haven’t I been tortured enough#traumatised enough#and then Ron and Hermione are just SO DONE#they had to endure Harry being obsessed with Draco for 7 years straight#in 6th year they basically tuned him out whenever he spoke about Draco#and then they think oh maybe in the moment of danger when it’s between you#us and Malfoy he will obviously leave Malfoy alone and save us and himself#and Harry is like DRACO I’VE GOT YOU HOP ON HOLD TIGHT I LITERALLY CAN’T BARE TO LOSE YOU#they are the least casual thing ever
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Does anyone else think about how the Change God, when taunting Siffrin, took the form of Loop being forced to talk about the dagger? No? Just me? Okay.
#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#isat change god#isat Siffrin#isat spoilers#for me it’s the like. invasion#and how cg calls them a sponsor. what loop calls themselves when discussing roles w Siffrin#bc whether being nasty or civil with each other#there was the comfort of twohats being alone together.#the secrets you could never tell anyone else you could talk w this person#but turns out there was someone listening the whole time#who could help you but refuses because it’s entertaining#like these moments aren’t only yours now#idk. I’m not articulate thsi post was better in my head#mine
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Dean should have been the new new Bobby… I’ll kill myself
#also running at auto shop/junkyard like… the cover is already built in#but I mean he is constantly being shown taking care of kids and clicking with them even if he claims Sam is better at talking..#I think he is way too fucked up to intentionally father a child let alone find someone to want to do that with..#but I do think he would take in kids who have lost people… Hunter next gen… the boys home episode is so fucking sad..#he is The Caretaker even when he tries to avoid it… teaches..#how to drive… how to shoot.. how to play poker and win..#Garth semi retires anyway… though I love Garth…#I’m not even at the finale but getting so mad about it#I get if he didn’t make it to his 80s but at least 50s… maybe… i just want him to know his nephew even for a moment..#again… I don’t think he would father kids but I think they’d be named after Bobby and Charlie if were following Harry Potter rules…#dean winchester#supernatural
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