#but that doesn't mean that's what they'd do in canon?
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readychilledwine · 2 days ago
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Cleavage/Collarbones Headcanons
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Warnings - as someone who recovered from an eating disorder, I know collarbones can be a very triggering topic. Please proceed with caution.
A/n - 4 of our main girlies to start.. Let me know if we want a part 2 and who should be on it
✨️Acotar Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️
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Feyre
Due to Feyre being an archer, I headcanon she has very defined skeletal-muscular build through her chest and shoulders, including her collarbones
Momma has built shoulders and strong arms. It's possibly the strongest muscle grouping in Feyre's body aside from that human heart of hers.
I imagine it's one of her features Rhysand is secretly madly in love with. They're like the perfect framework for any necklaces he gives her.
Something about Feyre's collarbones in my mind screams they'd be elegant on top of everything, but I see Feyre growing into more of a class sex appeal VS male gaze sex appeal outside of the CoN now that she is a mother.
Breasts change a lot with motherhood as well, so I imagine that's motivation for her to continue working her upper body.
I see deep plunging necklines being replaced with sweetheart cuts that dip a bit more in the center, highlighting her.. What was it Rhysie said? Ripe apple-like breasts coming.
Listen, becoming a mom doesn't mean you can't still be sexy (at least lie to me and echo chamber that for me, please) but I think it would change Feyre's cleavage style significantly.
I honestly would find her dressing like this so powerful. She's gone through her spring phase, her high lords play toy phase, let her have a "this is the only preview you get," phase with a new, fuller, hot mom bod, SJM. Please, your mother readers are begging for it.
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Mor
Mor is an engima to me. I don't know why.
I don't imagine her with collarbones that capture your attention, but I think that's because I see Mor with a very regal neck, if that makes sense?
Her neckline creates that flow to her very soft collarbones. They're definitely visible, but not that way I believe other females are.
Mor has her fashion set to follow the flow of her body lines, hence the cutout gowns.
I think with Mor, underboob and inside boob cleavage is more popular than traditional top cleavage.
I may be picturing her dresses wrong, but I always picture those dresses girls bought in like early like... 2010s to be Greek goddesses for Halloween. Some of you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Others are about to find out.
Mor strikes me as too confident to worry about modesty and I don't hate her for that.
I mean, if I was a female general and had a body like Mor does, I too would show off my underboobs as a way to show my abs.
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Nesta
Ness has collarbones you dream of sipping red wine from. I was going to make that all this section says. I was told that was unfair.
There's something about Nesta that screams collarbone. I don't think she's an unhealthy weight by any means, I just picture her with that built there they are deep and pronounced.
Nesta, I see, as very modest despite fanart depicting her otherwise. I do not think you get to see Ness and her collarbones as often as you may like, and when you do it is a treat.
I imagine Nesta in a lot of square neck lines that maybe have an illusion netting to show a bit of cleavage, but I do not see her in the deep dipping dresses she is sometimes shown in. I know they may have been canon, but, it's canon that feels un-Nesta to me.
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Elain
Big girls, where we at?
It's no secret I picture Elain as a plus size girly, and while it is possible for plus sized women to have very visible collarbone built (it's as much about skeletal structure as it is the fluff), I do not picture this for Elain.
In general, I see Elain much softer than her sisters both on the inside and in physical appearance, and those who've gotten to know me best know I think Elain is easily the most attractive of the 3.
Elain has the collarbones that are noticeable when her head is angled just right.
She's thought about making a bargain, hoping the mark would high light them more. That was met with a soft smile from Rhysand, his hand gently touching her face, "That's not how that works, Elain." Rhysand would then introduce her to glimmery cosmetics called highlighters she uses to add some sparkle to her collarbones.
Elain is my off the shoulder moment sister and due to that, I imagine her necklines being similar to Feyre's: Sweethearts, but make it cutesy sexy
I think Elain is a little more bold than Nesta cleavage wise, but not as bold as Feyre may be.
Elain is more willing to show some upper chest and I love her for it.
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saintsenara · 21 hours ago
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For unhinged and deranged ships: Snape/Bellatrix.
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
i adore these two haters, and not just in a "toxic situationship which leaves dozens dead" way.
because - as the most delusional snapemort defender in history, who would also defend bellamort with my life - i think it's inherently plausible that snape spends his period as a death eater during the first war feeling profoundly jealous of bellatrix.
after all, she's the dark lord's favourite - and voldemort isn't exactly shy about this being known [she wouldn't run around yapping about he "calls me his most loyal, his most faithful" if she had even the slightest feeling that voldemort would murder her for leaking his pillow talk] - which means that, if you go in for the idea that he's sleeping with her, i think you can argue that he also permits her some degree of public physical affection. i don't think they're holding hands during acts of terrorism, or anything like that, but i do think that bellatrix is summoned away from group settings to join voldemort, everyone knows what they're about to get up to, and the dark lord doesn't care.
snape - in contrast - is kept as a pretty clandestine part of voldemort's operation. karkaroff can't think of anything specific to credibly accuse him of, sirius isn't fully convinced he could have been a death eater, and so on.
and this makes sense - it's clear that snape gets taken on by voldemort in a back-of-house role [to be a spy he can eventually place at hogwarts, and very probably originally to brew for him], and is peripheral to the more public-facing, combat side of voldemort's terror. which means that any time he spends with the dark lord is probably one-on-one - and any affection he receives from voldemort during these sessions [and look, i ship it...] is similarly private.
but it's also clear in canon that this order only continues for a few months after bellatrix gets out of azkaban, before things start to shift and she finds herself having to be the jealous one.
from the start of half-blood prince onwards, snape usurps bellatrix in voldemort's public favour [no matter what he's like with either in private]. and we know that she's not thrilled about this - not least because she's correctly worked out that snape's not trustworthy and voldemort's only response is to tell her to wind her neck in.
and we also know that snape fucking loves how annoyed she is - he's having the time of his life roasting her when she cockblocks narcissa by stomping around his front room [the line about "endless reminiscences of how unpleasant azkaban is"... a third-degree burn, i fear] - and that all of snape's best pairings feature that "we literally cannot stop hurling insults at each other, i will not rest until i've told them this next zinger, i am incapable of letting anything go" dynamic.
textbook enemies-to-enemies-who-fuck.
where this turns into enemies-to-lovers... is that both snape and bellatrix are clearly profoundly lonely people. and not only that, but profoundly lonely in strikingly similar ways - above all in that they're in love with someone who doesn't want them in the way they'd like to be wanted. i don't think bellatrix loses anything of her character - her cruelty, her temper, her resilience - if we also imagine her as a bit of a hopeless romantic [her joy at voldemort complimenting her - "no higher pleasure... that means a great deal, bellatrix, coming from you" - which vanishes when he turns it into an insult is but one example] who would jump at the chance to be mrs riddle. snape's unrequited love is well known.
neither of them seem to have friendships in which they're the priority - snape is close to lucius malfoy, but the relationship is nonetheless transactional; bellatrix clearly adores her sister, but she's secondary in narcissa's concerns to her husband and son. they live their lives in service to men who regard it as their duty to sacrifice themselves for their cause - snape with dumbledore, who may like him, but who also thinks of him primarily as a tool to bring about voldemort's defeat; bellatrix with voldemort, who considers her to have done the bare minimum in terms of loyalty to him by enduring fourteen years in azkaban [even though he also thinks this places her above all her fellow death eaters, who didn't even do that]. they both have experience of imprisonment - snape metaphorically, trapped in the school he doesn't seem to have particularly enjoyed and the childhood home he thought he'd escaped; bellatrix literally. they're both voldemort's exceptions in terms of the demographics of the death eaters - snape on account of his social class; bellatrix on account of her gender - which means that they depend entirely on maintaining the dark lord's goodwill and are peripheral to the elite male social group which makes up the rest of the inner circle.
and these similarities mean that they have a pretty high chance of being able to understand each other, comfort each other, and help each other move beyond their isolation...
until voldemort gets jealous, that is.
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meloveanimeforreal7604 · 1 day ago
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Head-Canon Saturday!!!
I just had a thought about healing and how it can work with the Bad Sanses!! (Fanon)
As most people know. Healing requires a good enough amount of magic and intent. Otherwise, how can the monster heal physical wounds or injuries?
Nightmare -
Nightmare is able to heal only because he has such good control over his emotions. Yes, he is the Guardian of Negativity, but that doesn't mean healing is out of his range. He already has a huge amount of magic, plus spending several years mastering control of his abilities, so emotions and his magic aren't an issue. It never is when it comes to one of his own, despite them telling him not to, he'll give them the old, "You're ribs are fractured, I will not afford to losing one of you for your insolence, now hold still!"
Killer -
Killer is probably one of the skeles who'd have the most difficulty with healing people. He can't exactly feel anything, so if he even tried to heal someone, the intent wouldn't exist no matter the amount of magic he uses. He'd try, and nothing would happen, no glow of green magic, nor a glow of agitated magic because he doesn't have the intent to put into healing someone, if he were asked to heal someone he'd shrug it off and have someone else to heal them, knowing he can't.
Dust -
Dust definitely has the magic for it, but if he tried his magic being how it is as well as his mental state on the average day, it would be very difficult to place his intent to be healing. It would be agitated magic and rather what would feel relaxing and soothing, it feel like a ton of static electricity directly on the injury, causing the other he is trying to heal, to flinch away. He feels really bad about this and Not-Papyrus doesn't help with the guilt.
Horror -
While Horror sure has the intent for healing others, he wouldn't have the magic to, so he spends his time outside of missions cooking and perfecting healing foods, putting all of his intent into it. That way, during battles, if someone does get hurt, he can just give them a small portion of their favorite treat, and they'd be up and running almost instantly! Sometimes, though, after cooking for a while in the kitchen after he's cleaned up, he can be found sleeping in there, putting intent in things takes energy out of him, especially doing it for hours. Nightmare or one of the others usually wakes him up and takes him to bed.
Cross -
Out of the entire group besides Nightmare, Cross can heal at almost anytime. If Killer had gotten hit by Blue? No problem!! Quick heal and ready to go. Cross having been trained in the royal guard in X!tale had certainly helped him keep a cool head during battle, and being able to focus his intent and magic into healing has definitely helped out the gang more than once, though outside of battles and missions if someone were to arrive home injured he'd be right by their aid with Horror, he wants to help and be important to the team after all. The only time he'd have issues with healing other people is if Chara starts distracting him, his intent wavers, and it would end up like how Dust heals.
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the-gay-trashmouth · 2 days ago
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Hi I would like to address these tags! Obviously no hate to you, I get what you mean, I just wanted to respond! Because I definitely don't hate Curly or think he's fully responsible for Jimmy's actions, but I do hold him in higher standing than Swansea in terms of responsibility.
As the captain, he had the most power in the situation and he had a lot more resources to use after he finds out what Jimmy did before the crash. even after Jimmy says to his face he could "crash the ship and they'd be remembered as heros" after Anya tells Jimmy she's pregnant, he does nothing to stop him from going into the cockpit. It's not until the sirens are going that he runs back to see Jimmy on the ground outside the door. Jimmy was literally telling him to his face that he would rather die than see consequences, but Curly doesn't take it seriously and let's him just. Go?
I definitely see how I could be interrupting Swansea too charitably.The idea of him protecting the only other entrance to medbay is more of a speculation than canon, and I definitely acknowledge that he could very well have seen it as "none of his business" until Daisuke died, or he didn't want to ruin his chances of getting Daisuke off the ship by pissing off Jimbob, but either way, he was just the ship's mechanic. He couldn't demote Jimmy, or open anything that needed that captain's scanner or security codes. He didn't even know what Jimmy did until After the crash. By then, all he had was the utility closet, an axe, and the one cryopod, and he made sure Jimmy didn't know about it for months. I think there's enough in the game to point either way in terms of how much he tries to help Anya, but in terms of resources, power, and time, Curly had the most opportunities to do something and yet sat back and let Jimmy continue to do whatever. Not without guilt, mind you, and not without a genuine attempt to make sure it all worked out, but he still let Jimmy continue on like nothing happened.
As for the company docking their pay, I also mentioned this as Curly being specifically incentivized not to do anything, but I don't think that excuses his actions. They might get their pay docked, but Anya has to live with her rapist in a ship with no locks on the sleeping quarters. I understand fearing consequences, but that's just ignoring her safety for his (and the rest of the crews) own monetary gain, which I don't see as a point in his favor but it does add more nuance to his decision.
My ending point (which came way late in the post, it was just me rambling for a while) was that while both Swansea and Curly do what they think is best, it's too little and too late. Curly thought keeping the peace would fix it, Swansea thought hiding things and just keeping out of the way would help fix it, neither of them took real direct action that would have stopped Jimmy. But even despite that, in real situations of abuse, there often isn't a "right" answer, and it's understandable when they get stuck in place trying to figure out which way to go. There was no way to guarantee Jimmy wouldn't have gone off the handle earlier if confronted. Like I said, what happened was no one's fault but Jimmy's, and on a larger scale, The Pony Express, due to multiple ways they fail Anya and incentivize coverups, but Curly, as captain, had a responsibility to protect his crew, but he chose to see the best in Jimmy, and he didn't take him seriously when Jimmy tells him Exactly who he is. Until he's forced to.
I think something that's bothers me about how folks talk about mouthwashing is how they talk about Swansea. It's either "Swansea would have killed Jimmy immediately if Anya had told him" or "he knew and he did nothing just like curly." because, to me at least it leaves out a lot of nuance to his character and situation. Curly and Swansea are really good foils to each other, one who's got a reputation for being the kind and helpful captain but in the end does nothing to truly protect the crew from Jimmy, and one who's gruff, harsh, and cruel but genuinely tries to help in the background, the reliable mechanic.
(read more for a long Mouthwashing character ramble tw for unwanted pregnancy and SA)
Because Curly is the one with the power. He doesn't take what Jimmy did seriously enough. And you can say that he might not have known fully what Jimmy did, but I think the "I told you" pregnancy conversation and his reaction to Jimmy right before the crash ("come on we'll get through this together. We'll figure it out, you've had hard times before-") are indicators that he knew, but he still chose to stick by his friend and treat it like a "mistake" rather than what it really was.
Now that's my own personal speculation of course, there's no outright scene of her telling him "your best friend assaulted me", but I think there's enough evidence in game through Anya and Curlys interactions to say that he knew, and he knew before Anaya knew she was pregnant. He had a fully functioning ship and four fully functional cryo-pods. He could have at least given Anya more security, kept her far away from him, and at most forced him into the cryopod until they got back to earth. Jimmy STILL had full, uncontrolled access to the cockpit AFTER his freakout with curly. AFTER Anya tells curly she doesn't feel safe with him. AFTER Curly finds out he raped Anya. He's so focused on seeing the good in his friend that he does NOTHING to protect Anya, doesn't strip away not one of Jimmy powers as copilot and consequently endangers her and the rest of the crew.
Curly was the captain, he had the power to relegate Jimmy to the fucking storage closet if he really wanted, at least put him in the cryopod until they got back to earth. In fact, he was the only person above Jimmy in terms of rank on the ship, but he chose to do nothing. He chose to let Jimmy continue as acting co-pilot, chose to comfort him rather than actually confront him. Slides off his weird sexual comments as jokes "So what's this about horses?"
Now let's compare that to Swansea, the mechanic.
We don't have any evidence that Swansea knew about what Jimmy did until after the crash ("it's been her telling me things") where they were trapped with no captain, barely any rations, and a single cryopod that he kept hidden away in the one room he had the key too (and the only room that could lead into medbay). He didn't use it for himself, he makes it clear he didn't intend on getting off this hunk of metal in his last few conversations with Jimmy.
Swansea as the ship's mechanic, was used to fixing things in the background. He didn't need to get along with anyone to keep the ship running, he didn't need people to like him to keep them safe. We see that with Daisuke. He's harsh on him, for sure, but he leaves constant notes to help him learn. Genuinely tries to keep him out of harm's way when it comes to more dangerous jobs. We know Anya was scared of Jimmy getting a weapon, she hid the gun case in the medical bay even knowing she would never get it open. We can see Swansea and Anya off on their own towards the first days after the crash, and Swansea still has a tight grip of the axe weeks and months later.
I personally think that was him trying to keep Jimmy from having access to a weapon. The only time Jimmy gets the axe while Swansea is alive is when Anya Specifically asks him to use it to get medical supplies. I don't think that's a coincidence.
Swansea, like any good mechanic, was quietly trying to keep things running out of Jimmy's sight. It's not until everyone is dead or dying that he snaps, that he finally takes direct action. But it was too little too late.
Both Curly and Swansea thought they were doing the right thing, helping in their own way. Curly genuinely wanted to see the good in Jimmy, wanted it to just be some challenge they could overcome, but in doing so he failed to see the monster right in front of him. He had all the power (in context of the crew, the company is a whole other can of worms I have so many other thoughts on), but he was too afraid to use it. Hell, he was DISCOURAGED to use it if the memo about HR complaints are anything to go by. Swansea, on the other hand, never trusted Jimmy, never even really liked him, but he didn't want to make anything worse either. He didn't know what would actually set Jimmy off, or what he was capable of, and aside from just straight up killing him what else could he do that wouldn't just push Jimmy further off the edge? Like with the foam. "One wrong move and you'll rip this ship a new asshole", he worked carefully, hiding the last pod from Jimmy, keeping the only other weapon on himself, guarding the only other entrance into Medbay, but Jimmy was escalating quickly. He underestimated how far Jimmy was willing to go, just like Curly had, and in the end suffered the consequences.
The only character who actually understood how dangerous and unstable Jimmy was is Anya. She knew the moment she found out she was pregnant he would hurt her ("you won't let me protect myself"). He wouldn't be able to take it, he would do something drastic. She knew he was escalating the longer they were stranded. Anya is the only crew member who truly understood how dangerous Jimmy was and took direct action.
And interesting thing to me is that she doesn't just kill herself. She locks herself in the medbay. She could have waited for Jimmy to sleep, or locked herself in the cockpit, but she locked herself in the medbay with Curly. She knows that with her gone there would be no one left to take care of him, she knew Jimmy would continue to escalate his abuse, and with her gone all of his anger and fear and guilt would turn on Curly.
And wouldn't you know it? She was right. Without Anya to stop him, he takes curly out of the bed, forces him upright into the cryopod, and forces a man with no skin, no arms, no legs, and infected tissues to be frozen for 20 years while the rest of his crew Rot. And that's only what we know to be reality- if any of his delusions had some basis in reality he could have done so so much more. Anya is the Only one to take reasonable, direct action to keep herself, and then Curly, safe.
But she didn't have enough power over Jimmy to truly protect herself. She didn't have the code to the gun case, she didn't have a weapon or a rank to fall back on. She was outnumbered by men who she knew from experience either wouldn't or couldn't keep her safe, and she was heavily pregnant with a baby she didn't want and most likely couldn't even get enough nutrients to sustain either her or the fetus. She was physically weakened and trapped in a stranded ship with her abuser with no way home and a medical miracle (curse) in Curly.
This game is a really good reflection of reality, in my opinion as an abuse survivor. Some people will see them as "one of the boys" and constantly excuse or downplay their actions (Curly), some people will do small things in the background, recognize the abuse and disprove, but don't want to get in the way or make things worse (Swansea), and some people are just straight up oblivious/naive (Daisuke). But in the end, it's the system that allows abuse and incentives coverups to keep peace or save face that really allows abuse to fester and escalate.
Which is why I personally have a problem with the idea that Anya should have just Told A Different Man because it ignores the very real chain of power and her own agency in her story, AS WELL AS the idea that Swansea and Diasuke knew but didn't care because that's just not reflective of real life. Not every man is some rapist apologist who doesn't care what abusers do until it happens to them, some people just don't know what to do, or don't have any good options that wouldn't result in further abuse. Hell some people just don't even fucking notice! Not everyone has had exposure to the signs or knows what to look for.
It's easy when looking at fictional depictions of abuse to say "well if I was there I would have just punched him/killed him/called the police" but real life, in that moment, its never going to be clear cut. You can call out abuse, but that might just lead to that abuser taking it out on their abuse victim later. They could even start to target you for daring to speak out, or try to hurt you and cut you off from the person being abused. You can know all the right steps and the right programs, but in the moment, when faced with a real situation where someone could get hurt or even killed? You stumble. You think things over, you don't try and make any direct moves that would set their abusers off. Sometimes that's a good instinct, and sometimes that just lets abuse escalate. It's never a good situation, and it's never actually anyone's fault but the abusers. And this way of thinking also conveniently leaves out the survivor of this abuse, and portrays them as someone who needs to be saved, rather than someone who needs support and resources to save themselves. It also very conveniently lets the company that Put Anya in this situation in the first place get off Scott free.
The solution isn't "oh one of the men on board should have personally killed Jimbo and saved Anya all by himself" its "Anya deserved the support of her crewmates instead of being forced into close proximity with her rapist and also maybe Jimmy shouldn't have access to the fucking controls or medbay or any weapons- AND ALSO the crew shouldn't have financial incentives not to report things to HR"
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galaxythreads · 29 days ago
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sometimes i get reminded of source material and go "yeah, whatever loser, the Little Guy In my Head would NEVER" and then remember that the little guy in my head is not interpreted by me correctly on purpose and he would in fact, in canon, do that
(but the little guy in my head would NEVER)
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rendnotmyheart · 4 months ago
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Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.
#but then like uggghhhh thinking about iwtv soulmate au fics and like. they're not soulmates or meant to be but they choose each other anyway#their soulmate could be rotting in the ground or not even in existence yet. maybe they knew them in their human life. or vampire life#but nothing is a guarantee. and isn't it much more profound to choose your own companion anyhow? to love and choose them?#(little do they realize that's what a soulmate is. and even though they might not have the mark it's the same thing. to love and choose)#thinking about louis and armand specifically. like both of them would have Feelings about this i'm sure#louis and lestat are soulmates ofc. ofc there's some string of fate strangling them and they have to figure out what that means#i feel like louis would be resentful of it. like he loves lestat obviously but their relationship is turbulent at best so during the lows#louis 100% resents the universe and god and fate for tying the two of them together#lestat would assume it's all sunshine and roses now that he's found his soulmate and kind of assume it'll automatically work out?#and they'd have to come to terms with the fact that while they are soulmates#their relationship and what it is and how it goes isn't preordained. they still have to figure it out themselves#meanwhile armand and daniel aren't soulmates#god armand doesn't know who his is and he is very like. not melancholy#but he definitely holds that in his chest along with the other things that were taken from him#daniel for sure met his soulmate but like it was nothing compared to armand#and daniel doesn't really buy into the whole romanticization of soulmates anyway#armand kind of does and once they start their relationship he'd definitely have angst about preventing daniel from finding his soulmate#in this universe that could be another reason he tampered with daniel's memories (assuming that's what happened in the amc canon)#to give daniel a chance to live a full human life. to give him the chance to find his soulmate#but then daniel lives a life. he meets his soulmate. and at the end of it all he still chooses armand#and claudia? she just wants someone to choose her. she doesn't care if it's her soulmate or not. she doesn't care about that#maybe she used to romanticize it. having someone guaranteed. but she's seen soulmates hurt each other. both in her human and vampire life#and she knows it doesn't matter what fate or the universe says. people's choices and actions are their own#and so when madeleine chooses her they don't have the marks but claudia thinks maybe this is what a soulmate is after all#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#claudia#daniel molloy#lestat de lioncourt
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turtlespancake · 4 months ago
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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tuesdayscanons · 1 month ago
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Is there another hobbyist or writer whose style or content is one that you enjoy?
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《 I've been hesitant to answer this one because I haven't really read a lot of fiction lately, so this question feels like I'm being asked to pick favorite RP partners and that feels kinda mean. I love writing with all of y'all.
Still, I think I ought to give special mention to Dragon because oh boy do I reread their replies a lot...and I mean a lot. It's like comfort food to me. It makes my day (my week, even) whenever I get a new reply from them and I read new replies at least five times while trying to formulate a reply back...and then I reread it a billion times more while I wait for the next reply. There's so many Dragonisms in their writing I absolutely eat up. Their OCs are immaculate and they truly get their canon muses.
I also want to shout out Calvin. We haven't written together in a while, but I went back to reread old threads recently and they were so charming. There's this one reply that's now forever lost to the void because he deleted his old blog and my heart is broken because it was such a cute/sweet reply. I didn't reply to it because it was such a perfect bookending to the thread and now I'm kicking myself for not reblogging it without a reply. Maybe it's still in my drafts somewhere; but I might've deleted it while cleaning out my drafts.
I'll add to this post if I think of more people to shout out. 》
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oh-meow-swirls · 2 years ago
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kinda funny how nate/katie's human friendships aren't focused on like. at all. n then when making 3 i guess they were like "let's give nate friends who aren't yo-kai actually. as a treat-"
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feralforbeanix · 5 months ago
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Manfred Von Karma did not burn Phoenix's letters to Miles.
Like, I'm not even saying this to defend Manfred's character (though the fanbase does get a little crazy with what he actually did and didn't do) I'm saying this because that's not canon. I'm not sure it was even possible in canon.
Phoenix didn't write letters to Germany. He didn't know Miles was in Germany, let alone Von Karma's address. He didn't even know who Von Karma was until Edgeworth told him about Manfred in Turnabout Goodbyes.
In the game canon, Miles just stopped showing up to school one day. All Phoenix seemed to know was that he transferred schools suddenly. He didn't know why or where to. Remember, Phoenix didn't even hear about DL-6 until Turnabout Sisters when Maya mentioned her family's involvement.
Even in the anime canon (I haven't watched the anime in a while so I might be off about this) where Phoenix and Miles get a chance to properly say goodbye, Phoenix still doesn't have a direct means of contacting him. His best way of doing so was dedicating a song through the radio using Signal Samurai codenames and hoping Miles would hear it.
Phoenix mentions trying to contact him several times when explaining their relationship to Maya, but this was after finding out Miles was this "Demon Attorney". Miles would have to be at least 20 at this point in time, living back in California with at least a few trials under his belt. With how young he reached success, it's not impossible Miles was living on his own at the time. Even if he wasn't, I doubt Manfred was going through this grown adult's mail.
No, what the game seems to be implying is that Miles ignored Phoenix. (Maya even says, "I guess he didn't want to hear from his old friends.") And I don't think this was out of hatred or anything, I think Miles just wanted to forget his past entirely because even the good memories of his childhood would be bittersweet at best.
And to be honest that makes it even more tragic to me. Why do we need Manfred to intercept their connection when Miles' trauma and guilt complex is already doing that?
I like to think Miles knew Phoenix would be asking questions if he ever responded to those initial attempts at contact. Questions he of course doesn't want to answer because they'd at best open old wounds or at worst risk his childhood friend finding out he might have committed patricide.
I also like to think he knew Phoenix of all people would stubbornly try to find the answers Miles wouldn't willingly give because he literally mentions Phoenix always being "single minded in his work" and "always seeing things through to the end". If anyone was going to press and bring those uncomfortable and painful memories out in the open for the sake of "helping him", it would be Phoenix Wright.
Why do we need Manfred to take away all that complexity and tragedy? That is such a waste!
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tossawary · 25 days ago
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Cracky SVSSS Canon Divergence AU: Shang Qinghua (Airplane Bro) gets it into his head to try and "fix" Qijiu's relationship in order to 1) make his own work life easier and also 2) hopefully avert the ruthless destruction of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect by distracting Shen Qingqiu away from being a real piece of shit whenever the protagonist finally shows up. (Luo Binghe isn't here yet.)
Unfortunately, he gets this idea because he accidentally slept with Yue Qingyuan. It was during a late budgetary meeting. They'd both been slightly drunk. Yue Qingyuan had been sad and Shang Qinghua had been sad AND horny. It was a "bro helping another bro out" kind of thing! Shang Qinghua still can't really believe it happened. But it can't happen again! Bad idea!
Shang Qinghua encounters Shen Qingqiu in a brothel with half a plan on how to start unraveling that much damage, only... uh... Well, Shen Qingqiu got the wrong idea about what Shang Qinghua wanted from him, and Shang Qinghua's favorite type unfortunately happens to be "scary and mean and very pretty". Fuck! He accidentally slept with Shen Qingqiu too!
So, okay, back to Yue Qingyuan, who will definitely be the more reasonable person to talk to, because he hides all of his massive trauma like a polite person! Oh, shit, Yue Qingyuan is pretty hot, isn't he? And is coming on to Shang Qinghua again for a casual fuck... and whoops, the bad idea happened again! Fuck! When Shang Qinghua tries to have a productive conversation afterwards, Yue Qingyuan even confides in him a little. Yeah, bro, it IS super obvious that you're totally hung up on Shen Qingqiu, and oh, shit, you are NEVER going to make the first move, are you?
Okay, maybe "fixing" these guys is just not possible. Mistakes! He has made them! Shang Qinghua is just going to stay out of things moving forward. He's going to avoid them now! Oh, shit, Shen Qingqiu wants to know why Shang Qinghua was staring at him in that meeting and is slamming against a wall and- uh. Oh, wow. That's hot.
"Both of them?" Mobei-Jun says later, too bemused to be jealous. (Moshang aren't a thing yet. Maybe not ever a thing like that in this AU. Demons also have different societal conventions even so.)
"BOTH OF THEM!" Shang Qinghua wails, lying facedown on the floor of his house. He doesn't know why he's actually venting to Mobei-Jun, but he has NO ONE ELSE. He's getting SO well laid, sure, but the constant nagging feeling that he's going to get maimed this way is really putting a damper on the sex. Qijiu really, truly, honestly do NOT know that he's sleeping with both of them. "What is wrong with these people?! Why is their taste so bad? I made everything so much worse..."
"Stop fucking them then," Mobei-Jun suggests, as helpful as ever, which is not helpful at all. Mobei-Jun has never been helpful to anyone in his life. When he's not mildly annoyed by it, he thinks this shit is hysterically funny.
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shadykazama · 2 months ago
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Hello! Your headcanons on Wukong/Destined One had me giggling so much 😊 they're so great, couldn't stop rereading.
Um, if it's alright, can I ask for some Wukong/Destined One x Reader with their baby? Feral daddy monkey in his nesting phase with his mate and baby is so— 🤭
Absolutely! I have a lot of thoughts and the people demand more monkey business- so let's get down to it.
❤ Wukong
Starting with the pregnancy~
He is ELATED.
The idea of a proper heir had never crossed his mind because well- he's immortal. He doesn't need one. But that doesn't mean the idea of his own flesh and blood isn't positively exciting.
There's a chance he knows you're pregnant before you do. What with all of his special powers and heightened senses.
Celebrates privately with you of course but it becomes a mountain-wide event very quickly.
You are showered with praise and blessings by all the monkeys.
He will never miss a chance to brag that he's going to have a baby. And he's definitely smug about it too, thinks your child is going to surpass even his power.
When you start showing he gets more smothering.
Don't forget our king's fatal flaw! He thinks he knows what's best.
Will limit how much you travel and makes sure you always have at least two attendants by your side while he's gone.
Which, once you get further along, isn't often. There were plenty of superstitions about pregnancy in ancient China, as well as a high infant mortality rate- and that's not even counting what complications could happen due to the magical nature of your child. So he'd be stressed.
He expresses stress through aggression (canon), though it's never pointed at you. He'd be fiercely protective over the mountain, but especially any of the areas you regularly stay in. He'd be very snappy at everyone for the entire second half of the pregnancy, except you of course, who he'd be showering with praise and reverence.
Likes holding your stomach while you rest and tells your baby about the great lineage they're being born into, recounting his titles and strength and promising them they'd be greater.
He's hoping for a boy, but he's assured his child will be spectacular regardless of the gender.
When you give birth he will be extremely focused. He can't afford to be weak in a moment when you need him most. (Though your cries of pain and effort will certainly make his heart ache.)
As you're holding your baby for the first time, his teasing, smug attitude is nowhere to be seen. He just looks at you as if you'd given him the universe itself.
Cutest baby ever might I add 👆.
It's a Chinese tradition that only immediate family is allowed to meet the baby for the first 100 days after it's born, so it'd just be you and him for a majority of three months unless you invite your family to meet them.
In traditional fashion, on the 100th day a banquet is held to officially introduce the baby to everyone. And MY GOD would it be an event...
Besides all of the monkeys on the mountain who want to celebrate their new prince/princess, I can't even imagine how many celestials and demons would come to pay their respects and blessings- be it out of fear or respect.
Either way, expect a very long day and a LOT of gifts.
^ Wukong doesn't leave your side for the entire day. I dare someone to try and pull something.
You'd expect with his trickster personality that he'd be a very lenient dad, but Wukong is surprisingly dutiful in making sure your child doesn't turn out lazy or ignorant.
That by no means is to say he wouldn't be a wonderfully playful father. He'd have a wonderful connection with his child, and his most important lesson to them would be to respect their mother ;)
More of a one kid kind of guy, so he'd probably stop after the first, unless you had twins or triplets.
As protective as he was with you when you were pregnant, he's pretty chill with the actual kid. He knows they're durable and will let them get roughed up doing dumb stuff.
Carries them around hanging off his tail and will pretend like he doesn't know where they went.
It's like how cats will let their babies 'sneak up on them' to encourage them to keep trying. He does the same thing with your kid when they try to trick him.
Your baby would be the most respectful little shit ever. A little shit nonetheless, but would do anything for you or their father.
All the monkeys on the mountain help keep an eye on the little sage so you'll never feel lost or alone in parenting. It's very much a joined effort and your baby will see the other monkeys as their family as well!
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This wonderful piece of Sun Wukong was done by @kanade-howl here on tumblr! They post their work on Twitter as well at @kanaade_ and @_liehuzuo please support them!
💙 The Destined One
Give him a bunch of babies I beg you.
He'd get addicted, he wants a big family for SURE.
When you first tell him you're pregnant he'll probably take some time to fully soak it in.
You'll be used to being patient with him at this point, but I imagine something like this is really nerve wracking so don't feel bad if you rush him for a response.
He'll put a hand on your stomach as if he's checking for himself before picking you up and smothering you with love.
He's not a chatty guy but he'll let you know how happy he is!
^ That being said, during your pregnancies is the most talkative he'll ever be.
He doesn't want you to stress about communicating and knows your body is going through a lot so he pushes himself to talk more to make sure you get everything you need.
That doesn't mean he'll be a chatterbox by any means. More than nothing is still very slim :')
Expect a lot of one word questions.
Trusts you more than he trusts his own instincts. His instincts tell him you shouldn't be climbing or moving around much- but if you want to, who's he to tell you what to do? He's not the one pregnant 🤷‍♀️
Follows you around like a guard dog when you do though, doesn't matter what you're doing.
Somehow even more physically affectionate than normal. Will insist on holding your hand when you walk so you can lean your weight on him.
When you start showing he'll be amazed. It's not that he's never seen a pregnant person before but like... That's his baby in there and he can't believe it.
His favorite thing to do is lay his head against your stomach while you're resting. Will kiss your skin and adore the life you're making.
You can catch him whispering things to your baby while he's resting his head on your stomach.
Your body is going to ache and he is more than happy to massage it for you. He doesn't even need an excuse to touch you, but he'll find them anyway.
Once you get further along and it gets harder for you to get around, he'll pick you up and take your wherever you want to go- within reasonable distance from your home of course. Not because he can't take you further, he just doesn't want to in case something happens.
But he wants to make sure you get fresh air and still see the beauty outside of your bed.
Doesn't trust anyone to watch you. It's him or nothing.
Makes offerings and prays to the goddess of childbirth. He does this a few times before you catch him and start helping.
He's a bundle of nerves when you're giving birth. If you weren't preoccupied, it'd probably be painfully obvious how nervous he was.
Holds you while you hold your baby and will not stop telling you how much he loves you and how perfect the baby is.
Gets baby fever bad.
Baby will be spoiled, and so will any other baby after that.
Huge advocate for carrying the baby. If you're not opposed to it, he probably carries them more than you.
Has the most deadpan look on his face as he looks at this baby but he has so much adoration for his little miracle.
Stressing over your baby crying in the middle of the night? Not with him! He's at that babies beck and call.
Watching a nearly mute man deal with a curious child is definitely amusing and you get a front row seat.
Your children kind of just accept that their dad doesn't talk much, but he'll always tell them he loves them if they say it to him.
Takes them everywhere with him so he can teach them. Is SO proud when the oldest starts helping teach the younger ones.
He's proud of them in general honestly.
Your kids are going to be super loving and curious. I think he'd foster really healthy relationships between all of them.
You'd have a whole team taking care of you if you ever got sick.
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bokutosbabe · 4 months ago
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Now I'm Covered In You
(bllk boys as boyfriends)
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a / n — thought making another post in this form would be fun, so i hope you enjoy!
content — bllk characters x reader, gn! reader, pet names used in a few parts, sadly canon otoya i fear, misspelled words are there for a reason i swear, cheater! otoya and oliver, some characters repeated, lmk if i missed anything!
synopsis — bllk boys and what type of boyfriend they'd be
✿.。. “ how's one to know? ” .。.✿
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—The Romantic One
is always planning surprises for you, and i mean always. there's not a single week where you aren't being taken on 'adventures' that always lead you to a different restaurant.
what's the point in having all this money and not spending it on you?
they are constantly writing you love letters and poems. well, they try to anyway. they're not the best with their words and with many spelling mistakes, rather liking to show with actions, but they tried for you.
usually their poems end up something like this
' roses are red
so is my heart
my darling
my deer
my sweet buttercup
you taste just like a
tasty soda pop '
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ ISAGI YOICHI, shido ryusei, jyubei aryu, ALEXIS NESS
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— The Player
you know the famous saying, "how you get them is how you lose them?" yeah that's exactly how this relationship is.
you'd been one of their many side quests while they had a relationship going on. eventually after they'd ended said relationship, they'd chose you as their next partner.
they do spoil you with many gifts, mostly after you catch them cheating on you for the umpteenth time, but you stayed because they 'loved you'
sure they told you they loved you, but that wasn't really the case when they'd broken up with you because you were 'boring' them.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ OTOYA EITA, oliver aiku
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— The Protector
is constantly worrying about you and is looking out for your safety.
with them being this 'big bad' soccer player, many people refuses to even look you in the eyes when you were with them. but if someone dared to hit on you when they walk off for a second? please pray for them.
some guy could be asking you for directions and he'd come up behind you and wrap an arm around you without even uttering a word. you didn't have to look at them to know the look they were giving the man was nothing but deadly.
some may call it controlling, but you knew them, they just wanted to keep you safe from all these men.
you had him, who else would you need?
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ KUNIGAMI RENSUKE, rin itoshi, SHOEI BARO, tabito karasu
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— The Funny (insane) One
is constantly making jokes- some that aren't funny - but you laugh anyways.
everyone always asks you how your relationship is doing so well, and the answer is always, " i don't know," because you genuinely don't. yes, the two of you get into arguments, and sometimes the two of you get heated enough to have to take time apart from each other, but you always come back together.
how?
because they always forget what the fight was even about and come back into your space to show you some cat meme they believe you would like.
and the two of you laugh until you feel better again.
maybe you don't know how your relationship is so healthy, but you know why you're happy.
because they take the time to make you laugh.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ BACHIRA MEGURU, RYUSEI SHIDO, gin gagamaru, seishiro nagi
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— The Traditional One
dates. Dates. DATES!!
they took you on soooo many dates before officially asking you to be their partner.
they definitely give the vibes of "my mom taught me i needed to..."
just the best gentleman!
you need to step over a puddle? they're putting their jacket down over it for you (it wasn't necessary, but they insisted on it)
you talked about wanting to see a movie once? he's already bought the tickets.
if you get married? he's insisting you stay home
" a pretty face like you doesn't need to work, i'll provide us everything." in his words
will do anything for you, really.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ YUKIMIYA KENYU, michael kaiser (pls ignore the mom part), REO MIKAGE, oliver aiku (again)
✿.。. “ i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone ” .。.✿
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likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!
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soapisahimbo · 2 years ago
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Jealousy - Simon 'Ghost' Riley Headcanons
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Hi can I request any jealous/ possessive ghost head canons? NSFW PREFERABLY. Where he gets jealous and tries to distance the team from being too touchy with you or even to joke around with you. But they don’t know y’all are dating of course. So he has to fight his feelings and eventually taking it out on you if you know what I mean wink*wink*. Or the things he’ll do to show the others that you are his only and that’s when they got the clue. Please?
Wow, I'll admit, this was a bit of a challenge. Also I wrote it as a headcanon list, I hope that's what you were aiming for! I was honestly a bit unsure on how to approach this, and I'm a little unsure about how it turned out, but I genuinely hope that you enjoy it!
Containts heavy smut elements, so minors stay away!
warnings: simon is a jealous bitch, it gets rough, borderline dubcon, genderneutral reader/genderneutral anatomy
Simon has no lack of faith and trust in you. He has a number of peculiarities for sure, but he knows you'd never betray him or go behind his back. It's a trust you worked hard to gain, and it was hard work that he recognizes and appreciates. You've proven time and time again that you're safe in many ways and while he's always prepared for the worst, he's also an excellent judge of character. He can read you like an open book.
Simon has no lack of faith and trust in his team either. He'd never say it out loud, but they are his brothers in arms and he is ready and willing to kill and to die for them, just as they are for him. He's not exactly eager to show his appreciation for them, but they take what they can get, even if it sometimes is just a mere glance. Now, don't misunderstand - he appreciates that you and his teammates get along, and he knows that if something were to happen to him, they'd keep you safe. But he is a man of instinct, and he has a tendency to get a bit territorial, for lack of a better word.
You know he has a bit of a... jealous streak, to say the least. He doesn't try to control you, because his gripes are not with you. He might loom and he might grumble, but he likes seeing you getting dressed up, he likes seeing you having a good time, he enjoys seeing you laugh and joke around. As far as he's concerned, you can do no wrong. No, his gripes are not with you - never with you. They are, however, with everybody else that even glances your way.
Kyle and Johnny are both very friendly by nature - they're probably the most easygoing members both in and outside the task-force. They're the type of people that others trust and want to hang out with, and they also consider you a good friend, whom they like to hang out and banter with. They do seem to have a habit of hogging you though, much to Simon's chagrin, and while you can make it up to him most of the time, he doesn't find it any less infuriating when they whisk you away for you to witness their latest ideas and trinkets.
They are also flirts by nature. Simon knows this because they inadvertently flirt with each other, as well as himself, any other teammates outside the task force and even Price at some points, mostly through jokes. They could probably flirt with a brick wall as far as he's concerned. Which is why he can almost overlook it when they turn their cunning charms onto you. Almost.
No one knows about Simon and yours relationship, not even Price. He's made it a point to keep it on the low for the safety of both of you, and you couldn't exactly argue - it made sense considering the line of work. It seemed as if though you had to remind him of this several times whenever hands and eyes that weren't his own seemed to wander a bit too much for his liking - "you can't hold it against them," you'd say, "they don't even know." And he knows you're right, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hold it against them.
Despite all this, he keeps himself in check fairly well. No one can tell if he's just staring normally or glaring daggers at others anyways, so he gets away with dreaming about stringing them up by their balls at any time. Or rather, he keeps himself in check fairly well - until he has you for himself.
You'd tease him about it, but it's kind of difficult to even form coherent thoughts once he's pounding into you like his life depends on it. The second you're alone with him, you best believe he's making the most of it. He'll cover your mouth to keep you from making too much noise (although you're not sure that ever helps because just the sound of him fucking you is loud enough anyways) and he growls into your ear things like "you're mine and mine alone," "one day I'll fucking bend you over right in front of those fucking idiots and show them who you belong to," "they think they can fuck you as good as I do," "I bet those fuckheads would kill to get a chance to make you cum this fucking hard."
He tries to keep them away from you, subtly in order to not draw attention to it, even though it doesn't always work, and he'd rather just kick them in the head. Places himself between them and you, keeps you close to him, gives excuses as to why you should be stationed with him, why you should be assigned to him and his missions - anything he can think of. He also has a penchant for interrupting others when they're trying to talk to you, coming up with something to send them away. You yourself are honestly surprised no one's caught on at this point, but that might because no one knows him quite as intimately as you do.
Every day that anyone has managed to get in the way for him always ends the same. If you could keep track of the time he spends fucking your brains out, you'd probably be concerned, but he doesn't give you any chance to gather your thoughts once he has you. If he's really pissed, he might start taking risks - dumb risks, if you had anything to say about it, but he rarely listens, and he knows exactly what weak spots to touch on to get you to give in.
He's pinned you against a door a number of times, somehow managing to stay deathly quiet while fucking you thoroughly with practically all of his teammates standing on the other side, completely oblivious to what's going on behind just a couple of inches of wood. He once fucked you just around the corner from an open hangar door, and if any of the people walking by had thrown a look in your direction, they would've seen you bent over, pants pulled down to your knees and with Simon's iron grip on your hips.
So far though, he's managed to keep it discreet, despite his hotheadedness. Never leaves any marks where anyone can see them, helps you stay on your feet if you're in a place where you have to be, makes excuses to do things for you so that you don't have to get up out of your seat - although he can't deny that a part of him wants everyone else to see what he's done with you. He wants to mark your neck and chest all over for everyone to see, he wants everyone to see you stumble when you walk on shaky legs after he's done with you. He's had to fight the urge to just throw you onto the table whenever the force invites you in for a poker night and fuck you in front of them, just so that they can see that only he can have you.
But he mainly keeps it to himself. You'd be far too pissed at him if he pulled a stunt like that for it to be worth it. In fact, he reached a point where he was almost fine with at least Johnny and Kyle being their usual selves with you (to a point, of course). He almost got over it. Until, of course, the idiot with the mohawk decided to push it a bit further than he usually did.
The outcome can be blamed on a number of things, really. 141 had been away for an extended period of time, long enough for Simon to reach for his phone and send you some heated messages nearly every day for the last week, which was rare. So when he was finally coming back to you, finally able to spend as much time as he wanted in bed with you, when he steps off of that goddamn fucking helicopter to finally be greeted by you, what happens? John 'Soap' FuckTavish runs full speed ahead to you, wraps his dumb fucking arms around your waist, hoists you up in a fucking hug and plants a big fucking kiss on your cheek. Numerous times, mind you!
While you were indeed happy to see him and the rest of the team, you could tell that Simon had reached an instant boiling point. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought that he was about to blow Johnny's brains out then and there, but instead he simply walked up to you, grabbed Johnny by the shoulder and just about yanked him away from you.
"Maybe take a shower before you start rubbin' your stink all over everyone else, Sergeant," he said, pushing Johnny away. Wow, smooth, you thought to yourself, but Johnny seemed to take it in stride and laughed. "Gee, sorry, LT. Just happy to be back with a good friend is all." And as a final nail in the coffin, he winked at you before strutting away.
Kyle and Price greeted you as well as they passed by, Kyle also giving you a warm and tight hug, rocking you back and forth, and you could practically feel the heat radiating from Simon where he stood. Once they'd moved on, you turned to him with a sheepish smile. "Hi, baby," you said as sweetly as you could.
He grabbed you by the jaw, squeezing your cheeks so that your lips puckered; firm, but not rough. He leaned in close, his eyes fixated on you. "I've had it," he said and while you weren't exactly sure what he meant, you knew that there was something in store.
He picked you up and threw you over your shoulder and you were suddenly aware of the fact that there were still people around to witness this very unusual display from Simon 'Ghost' Riley. He carried you through the hallway that lead to his room and people were gawking at you as you tried to protest, tried to remind him that no one's supposed to know, that you need to be discreet about this, but how could you say all that without giving everything away when everyone could hear you? So you tried to just act like you didn't know what was going on, asking him what he was doing, where he was taking you, why he was doing this, but he didn't say a word. You're pretty sure that far more than you were comfortable with watched as he carried you into his room and locked the door.
He threw you onto his bed and tore his mask off, throwing it onto the floor with such force that you thought he broke it. "Simon, what the hell?!" you said, watching him take his gear off and haphazardly toss it to the side. "I thought we were keeping this shit secret!" But he didn't seem to listen. He simply stared at you with some combination of lust and anger as he stripped himself naked in front of you.
He grabbed your ankle and pulled you to the edge of the bed, wrapped your legs around his hips and leaned over you, pinning your hands in one of his above your head. "I've. Had. It." he said again. His other hand moved down to your crotch and pressed, rubbing at you. "I should've fucked you the second I touched ground - maybe then they'd get the fuckin' point."
Everything happened so fast after that - he ripped your shirt off, from the collar and all the way down, and you're pretty sure he broke your belt before he practically ripped your pants off as well. He kept you pinned against the mattress as he relentlessly fingered you, and when you tried to keep quiet he'd only up the intensity, focusing on that exact spot to break you apart. "I'll make them get the point, how's that?" he grumbled and spat at your hole, staring as if hypnotized.
You had no idea how long he'd had you just like this, eventually with both hands working you past the edge over and over again, but you were pretty sure that if you came just one more time you'd pass out, and he hadn't even fucked you properly yet.
At some point, you were vaguely aware of him lifting your hips up, placing your ankles on his shoulders before you felt him push into you and you thought you felt a part of your mind break. You didn't have any energy left to try and keep quiet anymore, so any moans and cries that worked their way up from your chest were let out freely and loudly as he pounded into you. Between the biting and the sucking all over your neck and chest and whatever other parts his mouth could reach, you thought you heard Simon praise you for every sound you let out.
His grip was sure to leave bruises on your hips, but he found that he had little concern about it as he watched your eyes roll back. With how he was handling you, he'd wondered if you'd mark him up the same if he asked you - it would only be fair, and he would be more than happy to wear any branding that you'd put on him. But for now, he'd put his on you.
He gripped the back of your knees, pushing them up to your chest and pushed himself deeper into you. He growled all sorts of dirty exclamations about how you looked, how you sounded, how you felt and how now no one would dare to lay a finger on you again. He fucked into you with reckless abandon, eventually pushing all the way into you to cum as deep into you as he could before pulling out and using his hands once more, fingering his cum back into as it leaked out.
You came one last time with a loud and near pornographic cry, the world flashed white, and before you knew it, you were held up in a warm stream of water in the shower, Simon's calloused hands stroking you gently to wash all the fluids off of you. "Aren't you such a good doll for me, baby?" he mumbled. "So good..."
You were littered with hickeys and bite-marks, painfully sore all over in the best sort of way, so weak in the legs that your knees were still shaking and you could barely stand. "The fuck got into you?" you managed to breathe out. "I'd be surprised if the entire fucking complex didn't hear us." Simon simply grinned. "Good. Maybe now everyone will know to keep their fucking hands off."
You were incredibly pissed at him once you saw yourself in the mirror, yelling at him and telling him that there is no way you can go out there looking like this. You scolded him, unsure if he even cared, but he dutifully went out to grab you some new clothes to replace the ones he ripped apart when you demanded him to.
The following week or so was incredibly stiff, both literally and figuratively. People would nearly sprint out of the room if you entered, trying not to pay any attention to your awkward walk, and you practically banned Simon from sex until you could sit down properly ("Plus an extra week!" you had added, just to get your point across) and all the marks had faded from your skin. Simon did make it up to you, being extra sweet on you, massaging any and every sore spot you had regardless of if he had caused them or not, running errands to make sure you didn't have to leave your spot.
As for the task force... for as long as they could see the hickeys on your neck, Kyle and Johnny tried every excuse they could think of to not look too much at you, or they told you that they had somewhere to be before awkwardly stumbling off under the glare of your boyfriend. Price himself was also a bit awkward, but for the most part, his reaction consisted of calling Simon into his office and scolding him for "causing a ruckus". He also threw in a "and for fuck's sake, don't break them - I'd rather not have to write that report!"
Simon did appear to be pleased with the results, however. Everyone steered clear of you, with the slight exception of his teammates, but even they were treading carefully. He barely even had to do anything. A bonus was that anyone that tried to be an asshole to you also kept their distance, which even you could agree was at least one positive thing to come out of the whole ordeal. At least he'd gotten it out of his system. For now.
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iamnmbr3 · 8 months ago
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Time to discuss drarry moment number 923074037286 in HBP. I think it's really notable how in the aftermath of Dumbledore's death Harry not only canonically doesn't feel angry at Draco at all despite feeling murderous rage towards Snape, but actually goes out of his way to recount events in a way that shifts blame away from Draco as much as possible.
First, Tonks asks how Dumbledore died and we get this bit:
"Snape killed him," said Harry. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that's where the Mark was . . . Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realized it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilized me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak -- and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him--" Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned. Luna's mouth trembled. "-- more Death Eaters arrived -- and then Snape -- and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra."
Harry says there was a trap but doesn't mention anything about it having been a trap planned and set by Draco.
He uses passive, distancing language that doesn't even make it clear whose footsteps they heard on the stairs or under what circumstances Draco disarmed Dumbledore.
He doesn't mention anything about Draco having been assigned to kill Dumbledore, and almost makes it sound like he could've just happened on them and disarmed Dumbledore as a reflex or even in self defense.
And then he doesn't say that Draco held Dumbledore there at bay for a while, instead leaving it ambiguous as to whether the other Death Eaters arrived right away on Draco's heels.
And that's it. That's all he says. He puts all the focus and blame on Snape. Only several pages later when McGonagall asks how the Death Eaters got in does Harry even explain about the Vanishing Cabinets. Specifically the text says:
[H]e explained, briefly, about the pair of Vanishing Cabinets and the magical pathway they formed.
Again we see the same passive, distancing language that we saw when Harry mentioned "footsteps" on the stairs but didn't clearly say whose. It says he explained about the cabinets rather than something like "he explained about Malfoy's treachery and his plan to use the pair of Vanishing Cabinets to let Death Eaters into the school."
Harry directs the focus away from Draco and Draco's intent and involvement. I'm not sure this is even on a conscious level. His words are mimicking what his mind and his emotions are doing.
When someone asks what Snape shouted to the other Death Eaters as he ran past we get this:
"He shouted, 'It's over,'" said Harry. "He'd done what he'd meant to do."
Harry says he'd done what he - Snape - meant to do. Not what Draco had meant to do. Or what they'd planned together. So once again we see that Harry avoids blaming Draco or even revealing his full role in what happened.
And then, most interestingly, not till later when he's alone with McGonagall does he reveal that Rosmerta is being controlled. And the way he recounts it is REALLY striking.
"There's one thing you should know before the Ministry gets here, though. Madam Rosmerta's under the Imperius Curse, she was helping Malfoy and the Death Eaters, that's how the necklace and the poisoned mead--"
Again the use of passive language. He says that she is under the Imperius Curse rather than that Draco put her under the Imperius curse. In fact, he avoids directly blaming Draco at all. Harry merely says that she has been put under the Imperius curse by someone and that she was forced to pass on the necklace and the poisoned mead, leaving it ambiguous who cursed her and on whose orders she did those things, thus shielding Draco from blame.
He only brings up Draco to say that Rosmerta had been helping him and the Death Eaters rather than that it was Draco specifically who was controlling her. Given that the use of an Unforgivable Curse carries a life sentence in Azkaban this phrasing is certainly interesting. And it means that if Rosmerta did not see who originally cursed her, she might not be able to say who forced her to help Draco or possibly even whose idea it was to send the necklace and the mead into the school. That would make Harry the only witness who could prove Draco's guilt, and seemingly he doesn't want to do that.
Also. Draco IS a Death Eater. Harry's known it since the beginning of the year. And yet he says "Malfoy and the Death Eaters," because without even realizing it, he mentally puts Draco in a different category.
And then the next time Harry thinks of Malfoy is when he's looking towards where Draco usually sits and thinking about how Crabbe and Goyle look "lonely" without him even though given the tensions between them that we see in books 6 and 7 it's almost certain that they don't miss him at all. It seems much more likely that Harry is actually projecting his own feelings. In this context we get this bit of internal narration:
His animosity was all for Snape, but he had not forgotten the fear in Malfoy's voice on that tower top, nor the fact that he had lowered his wand before the other Death Eaters arrived.
I mean just what? All? ALL of his animosity? Draco is the one who let Death Eaters into the castle. He disarmed Dumbledore, thus (seemingly) enabling Snape to kill him. He also got Bill permanently maimed (though he didn't intend for that to happen).
If Harry simply felt nothing for Draco but dislike I don't think these circumstances would put him in the best mindset to start empathizing with him. Harry has a temper. You'd think he'd disregard all the extenuating circumstances and blame Draco for Dumbledore's death too.
I mean this is some of his narration about Snape, for example:
"So when he arrived at the fight, he joined in on the Death Eaters' side?" asked Harry, who wanted every detail of Snape's duplicity and infamy, feverishly collecting more reasons to hate him, to swear vengeance.
But no. That's not how he feels about Draco at all. In fact after thinking about how his animosity is all for Snape and dwelling with pity and concern on how afraid Draco looked and how he had lowered his wand, Harry actually starts wondering where Draco is and worrying about him and about what Voldemort is "making" him do now.
Because despite their rivalry, there's more between Harry and Draco than simple dislike. Harry understands him deeply. And he's immediately ready to sympathize with him and to protect him.
For all that they are stranded on opposite sides of a brewing war, they also have things in common. Harry is drawn to Draco and he cares about him. He knows Draco isn't a murderer and he can't bring himself to even pretend to hate him anymore. He just wants him to be safe.
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hai7ani · 18 days ago
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Stay / Haitani Rindou
Power Trip / Cry Me a River
cw canon-typical violence, suggestive, ran plays a huge role, abandonment, grief, death / Sequel
Things haven't been the same since South died.
He doesn't tell you much, so you don't really know things, but you're not an idiot.
You know of the late nights he's been spending out with his brother lately. When you ask, they simply tell you they've got a party going on at the usual place with the usual group of people, down the street.
When you ask.
Before leaving for the night he'd double check the locks and make Ran tell the lady next door to call him if she sees anything suspicious happening around the block or outside the unit.
"Stay home, be safe, alright?" Ran would tell you after giving you and his brother some space 一 for him to give you a kiss on the cheek as per his own habit, and for you to cling onto him a few minutes before they go as per your own 一 as always. And he'd ruffle your hair if they're down, or fix your braids a little if he'd tied it earlier for you, and then they'd leave. Together.
The extra precautions the brothers take on their home and you recently has been getting a little bit overwhelming. It's not that you don't understand why they do this 一 things aren't exactly safe for you as the girlfriend of a Haitani and is seen as a younger sister to the elder, who are both now heavily involved with dangerous people dubbed as a safety hazard to the general public.
Rindou has spent years outside of the gang curating ways with Ran to keep you safe and hidden away from the lingering, hungry eyes of their rivals and enemies who are constantly looking for ways to tear him and his brother down from their reputations 一 he is not going to risk putting you in danger, being used as a target as a means to get to the brothers, or being ambushed simply because you are yourself, a woman.
But as more time passes, with more and more late nights spent wandering alone in the Haitani household waiting for them to come home to you 一 or if they'd even come home at all 一 you've been starting to think there is something else going on.
You don't like that he's been making you feel this way.
Abandoned, left alone.
If he is cheating on you, even if it hurts 一 even if it might rip you apart into a million pieces 一 you think you want to know. Seeing for yourself who the other woman is, or who the other man is 一 you think it might give you some closure.
But he isn't cheating on you. You know he is not. He still comes home to you with that same, stupid smile on his face when he catches you on the PC fooling with some games or messing around with his unfinished mixes. He still brings home your favourite Chinese takeout with extra spring onions from the family-owned restaurant down the street.
He is still your Rindou when he comes home. He hugs you to sleep and he hugs you when you wake up. He kisses you in front of Ran despite the embarrassment you know he hates facing because Ran is a huge tease 一 he is relentless with the jokes 一 but he still does it anyway simply because he doesn't think loving you is something to hide in front of him, his brother, and a person you have both always looked up to in life 一 a boy who have always been protecting the two of you, pushing you both forward in life with arms behind your backs and a smile on his face.
You think he has been abandoning you lately 一 yeah, that's what it is. He makes you feel like he is going to leave sometime soon, again, and you don't fancy it at all.
You don't ever want him to leave again.
...
The year 2000 was the very first time.
Eight years ago, just downstairs of your own apartment a few blocks away from theirs, you had to watch with a broken heart filled with so much guilt and shame pouring out of the cracks, as the brothers get arrested for something that wasn't even their fault.
Eight years ago you had bumped into a man. A very tall man donning a very intimidating uniform, with equally intimidating men standing behind him as they stared you down and one of them had flipped away the ice cream cone in your hands down to the concrete floor. You remember staring at the vanilla slowly dripping down and staining his grey uniform with so much fear settling in your bones, and they'd spent the evening picking at your hair, your skirt, your backpack.
You and Rindou had gotten into a fight that afternoon. He'd refused to walk you home despite his brother's disagreement, and watched you stomp away in near tears because you didn't like that he kept boasting about his Math paper which scored a little higher than yours. The boy had been waiting for you downstairs at your apartment, eager to say sorry with a bowl of soba in his hands that he'd bought and carried all the way from the stall just right around the corner, and when he noticed he has been waiting for almost 2 hours and you still weren't home despite school having ended hours ago, he panicked.
And then everything after happened in a flash. One minute ago the man was saying something along the lines of, "While we're at it, shall we have some more fun as well?" And at the next, your childhood best friend was right on top of him, bashing his skull in, again and again and again. "Say it again, you bastard!" He yelled. Ran was trying to hold him back, but Rindou was far stronger than Ran at that time despite being a year younger and shorter than him.
You remember it being the day the Haitani Brothers had been the new group to take over Roppongi, your home, and chose to cover the entire story up as a way to keep you hidden 一 as a way to protect you, so that you won't have anything to do with the death, and you won't have to deal with the cops (they have experience watching their parents, who were once corrupted millionaires).
They were arrested the next day. During their court ruling, Ran had received a longer sentence than Rindou for being the one to beat the victim to death, with Rindou named as an accomplice for holding the victim down as the incident occurred. No witnesses were quoted, and all CCTV footages of the scene were destroyed.
And then they left for 2 years, spending their time in a juvenile centre in a city far away from Roppongi. You'd travel hours a week just to see them, and you'd cry and tell them how sorry you are and how you should've been the one to talk to the cops 一 that way, it might've at least been considered as self-defence. It had been your fault anyway, if you were actually using your eyes for once and watched where you were going, you never would've bumped into him. None of this would've ever happened then.
You had spent two years alone, sometimes staying the night at their home with their family maid and their grandmother accompanying you while you sleep in his bed and cry. You have spent two years blaming yourself for what had happened. You have spent two years of your early teenage life resenting them for leaving you, for doing all of this without even considering your feelings the entire process.
The year 2005 was the second time, when Yokohama Bay had become your new spot to avoid.
The news came to you late, as you were supposed to stay home and wait for their return to Tokyo 一 as per Ran's demand. "Stay home, be safe." The same memo as he'd always say, but no longer a request this time.
Three hours after they had left a friend of theirs came knocking on your door. He was one of the very few people Rindou allowed to know who you were, simply because he still needed his own extra pair of eyes whenever he and Ran are out doing business with Izana.
And then it happened again 一 police at the scene, a pair of unconscious bodies lying on the floor covered with a huge, white cloth, and your childhood best friends tied in handcuffs with blood and bruises all over their face.
You remember having the rest of the Tenjiku members who were also arrested at the scene (the ones who chose to stay back, for Izana) watch a girl around their age slowly approach the yellow tape, crying, as she struggled against the police. "Nii-chan? What is going on?"
Ran had never felt so guilty before.
And you remember staring at your boyfriend who you have just started being intimate with a few months ago with so much pain and trauma in your eyes. Last night he'd promised in your ear he'll come home to you safe and sound.
He'll get this one done and then he'll come home. He said it himself 一 there's a Coldplay concert happening this weekend, he'd be a dead man if he were to miss it.
...
He doesn't come home for six months. You ripped and threw your tickets into the bin. You trashed Ran's room out of anger and quickly fixed things back when you realised what you've done.
Their original sentence was to be eight, but with good behaviour and great contributions to the rehabilitation centre, it was then reduced to six.
Your relationship had been in a standstill then. You don't visit the entire time they were held in the centre. He wrote to you on the second month and sent you origami flowers (which were approved by the guards) and a long ruler with a black Sharpie mark on 6 that only you would understand, with Ran adding his own note at the bottom of the letter, telling you to look for Aoyagi if you are ever in danger, or simply needed some form of help.
"Stay home, be safe." He added.
What a hypocrite.
Rindou abandoned you for the second time. Nii-chan broke his promise again.
Six months later, after their release, they come home to their apartment decorated in things they never would've bought. Crocheted pillow cases on their couch, a new IKEA makeup table randomly sitting in Rindou's room (next to his PC table), wet bras and panties hanging on a line in his own bath, and your laundry either neatly folded on the couch or simply thrown all over the house.
You appear from the pantry in just a bra and lounging shorts with a mouth full of popcorn and rollers still in your hair when you hear the commotion.
They swiftly realised then that you have fully moved yourself in here while they were away. "Made yourself real comfortable, huh?" Ran had joked, and you threw him a pillow landed right at his face. (He had a nosebleed that didn't stop for a good fifteen minutes.)
"I can't trust you guys not to leave anymore." You had said to them sternly, back faced as you were putting on one of Rindou's old band tees fresh from the wash, with Ran facing the wall out of respect (it was one of the very few times you had caught him off-guard, yet you truly do not give a fuck) and Rindou kneeling behind you on the floor, in seiza, with his head hung low.
"So, I'll keep watch on you two myself. You're not going out without telling me where, when, with who, doing what."
Your method worked pretty well for two stubborn people who you see as family, coming from a girl they never really take seriously just because you are so close to each other. It lasted about a few months, with Rindou always updating you on where he went (he did it all willingly, really), like the DJ gigs at the club or going to the gym for the Judo and Muay Thai classes he'd signed up for, and Ran never going out ever since, all to sleep like a dead person in his room.
And then there came a man named South.
He had pretty great plans for a man new to the gangster scene in Japan. Rindou had told you all about it 一 he'd swore (willingly) not to hide anything from you after that. You remember how he'd boast about surely winning the upcoming fight against Kantou Manji and Brahman because he's been real pumped lately 一 the Judo and Muay Thai classes he's been attending consistently came in real handy this time 一 and you'd smack his cheek as a warning to not fool around with these people any further because they mean serious business now.
...
South had died in the battle, as a result of his loss from the Battle of the Three Deities. Naturally, this also means that the brothers are now under the control of another man again.
Mikey is his name. You saw him once, 3 years ago in Yokohama when you were riding on the bike of Aoyagi on the way to see Ran and Rindou at the scene. Mikey had been taking the initiative and signalling for his injured men and Tenjiku's on where to go and what to do.
He has always been a leader in your eyes since then, despite the small resentment you held for him for whatever that happened. So to hear from Ran about the current Mikey and his plans for the future as soon as Rokuhara Tandai and Brahman had been absorbed into Kantou Manji, you didn't think you would be able to digest it so soon.
And of course, Rindou went away again. But this time, he told you about it before he left.
"Baby, thank you for telling me." You remember feeling so relieved to hear when he kissed and informed you of the news, choosing to let him go on his own and helping him pack for a few days and nights away from home.
He sent you a picture of the sea two days later. Then, a white car with wings and huge exhaust pipes you don't know the name of, followed by a photo of himself with the beautiful sun setting behind him.
"I got a grandmother to take it for me. She reminded me of Baa-chan (as in his own grandmother who raised all three of you together). I think I want to name my new song after her. Her name is Minori, from Zushi. Like me, she came to Kamakura for the sea. It's still beautiful here like before. I'll bring you one day, Mom and Dad would love to see you again." He wrote, before going offline soon after.
You knew then that Rindou had gone back to Kamakura 一 the place that his parents were born in, and the place that they were buried in.
"Did you have fun?" You remember kissing him welcome-home a week later. He's a little tanned from the sun of July, probably spending most of his time back there catching the waves with the new friends he's told you about, and you think you love him even more when he grabs your nape and pulls you close, closer.
You like that he is smiley now. More talkative, more responsive.
"Yeah. I got you these." And he helps you put on a pair of pearl earrings he'd gotten as a gift from an elderly couple who were on the last days of their lives, spending their time at home watching the sea in Kamakura.
You've not once taken off the earrings since that day, and he, too, hasn't spoken much to you about what happened. Whatever that has happened. You don't know what's going on in his head 一 how he's dealing with the recent death of a friend and how he is handling the new changes to his life, or if there's a specific reason he'd gone back to visit his parents' graves.
(Rindou is now a member of Kantou Manji and he truly thinks that Mikey is insane 一 Sanzu even more. He doesn't know how the others are able to stand being in the same room with him for more than a second. He genuinely hates Hanma as well. Somehow the guy had caught wind on his little girlfriend (you showing up to the scene 3 years ago and was caught by local blabber mouth Shion) and wouldn't stop annoying him about it. He has thought of killing that man right then and there with a stick up his ass to stop the news from spreading, but that would mean he'd have to go to jail again, and he doesn't want to do that again.
Ran has gotten himself a new girlfriend too 一 the fourth one over the course of the three months he'd finally started dating girls 一 that he frequently brings over to the house and fucks like it's their last day living. He thinks this is his least favourite one. He doesn't really like her as she enjoys talking down to especially you simply because she is five years and four older than the three of you.
"Who the fuck does this hag think she is? Watch me kick her out, babe. And if Ran tells me off I'll kick him first and then I'll kick him out.")
...
You fear he is falling in despair.
He's constantly staring into space. Sometimes he'd stare out the window at night overlooking Roppongi with the Tokyo Tower in the back while munching on some yoghurt mix you'd made for him as a snack, and you'd watch together with him in silence 一 behind him so he doesn't know you're there. You don't want him to be alone like you have all those years ago.
The first time, he left for two years. Then, he left for six months. He'd only came back from Kamakura just three weeks ago, on a week away from the city (the violence).
Is Mikey going to take him away from you too?
Would he leave forever now that he is involved with the man and his gang?
...
You think he is going to again.
He's been not-so-discreetly packing his clothes while he thinks you're asleep and hiding the duffle bag in the storage room.
"Rindou, don't go." You finally say it to him tonight. He is busy wiping you down so he didn't really hear you that well. He hums, "what's that?"
"Don't go. Don't leave me." You start crying out of the blue. "You always leave me. When will you stop doing that? Don't you love me? You wouldn't keep leaving if you did."
"Babe-"
"We were kids when you left. You promised to take me to the theatre and watch theatre Barbie for Christmas and then you go away with the police. We were teenagers when you left the second time. You wanted to bring me to see Coldplay sing that weekend but you went away and I had to spend all of our birthdays alone in this room. Are you going to leave again when we're adults? Aren't you gonna marry me, huh? Are you going to leave me for Mikey or are you going to make me a widow this time? Which one is it, Rindou? Tell me so I can prepare myself. You don't tell me things anymore. I don't know what's going on in your mind."
You go on like that for quite some time. You slap him once and hit him on the chest twice. You cuss him out three times 一 one for being such an asshole, two for fucking breaking your heart like it's all his and not your own anymore, three for he's such a jerk for making you wait all this while 一 and finally, finally, when you're about to cuss him out again the fourth time, he kisses you.
He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you.
"I'm sorry for wanting to leave. Again. Just thought you might be safer if I'm not around."
He realises all of your true feelings then 一 all the things you've kept bottled up in your little heart, all of it resting in your chest kept all to yourself, as you put up a strong front in front of them just to make him feel at peace again, because you don't want him to leave anymore. He tends to leave whenever he feels the urge to protect you, as if he is the biggest danger itself.
"I'm a strong girl, you know? Baa-chan always told me so. I don't need any protecting, so you don't have to leave anymore. Stay with me, Rin. Stay, don't go away again. I can't do this anymore. I don't want you to go." You beg.
"Okay. I won't go. I promise." He swipes your tears away with both palms and kisses your eyelids.
He thinks of Mikey's offer the entire time while he hushes you to sleep, pinky's interlocked just like when you were younger and was very afraid of the dark, and would make little Rindou hold your hand until you saw light again.
"Guess I'll die..." He turns to you then 一 naked, but so beautiful. Your neck is covered, littered with hickeys and his back stings from the scratches you'd left on his skin earlier, but he doesn't mind. He never minds. He loves it, actually. "I've talked it out with death. Mom, Dad, Izana, and South... This'll surely be the last one I'll go through. My own, and yours."
"We'll see the light soon, hopefully." He whispers in your ear. "We'll be free."
"Okay." You mumble sleepily, a tired smile stretching across your kiss-swollen lips. You don't really get what he's saying, but whatever. Your pinky's are intertwined, there's no way he'd ever leave again, right? He'd be breaking your code if he did.
...
Ran has been waiting for him for the past hour.
Despite his patience slowly running out, he doesn't find it in him to rush his brother, or to yell at him through the door 一 to hurry it up and get it moving like he usually would.
He gives him time. He understands that it is a big decision. He knows it's going to break your heart if Rindou had truly said yes to the offer.
He wonders what your reaction would be like if he did.
A honk from downstairs catches his attention and he realises it is time.
His eyes glances at the clock hanging off the wall 一 9am sharp on the clock. And then they move down to the photo frame hanging just below 一 the three of you at school in uniforms, a picture taken by a teacher Ran had absolutely hated, but you loved.
A black limousine, as mentioned before in the meeting, parked on the curb with double signals turned on.
A man exits the car and tucks something into the back pocket of his Levi's. He opens the door for another man. Mikey exits, stands, and stares at Ran through the window 一 a 20-something-floor distance between the two, but he knows right exactly where they live, and where exactly Ran is at.
It fears him.
And it fears him even more that Rindou is not awake.
That was a gun he was holding.
So he enters your room, watch the two of you get tangled under the sheets with drool all over your pillows, hair messy, and the alarm clock clearly 一 deliberately 一 not ringing.
He smiles. Ran thinks all the fear in him is gone.
"You've been brave, Stupid Rin." He says. "You don't have to be anymore."
"Nii-chan'll go alone this time." He fixes your blanket and squeezes Rindou's oily nose shut, watching as he struggled to breathe a little, but slept it off anyway. A quiet laugh escapes his lips and he sits by the bed.
"Be safe."
And he prepares to stand.
"What about 'stay home'?" You ask when he is halfway up from the bed.
He knew you had been awake the whole time anyway.
"Will you come home?"
Ran pinches your cheek.
"Nah." He braids a thin strand of your hair with quick work. "I won't call either."
"Be safe, bunny. Take care of Rindou."
You have always liked hopping around when you were younger. You think you'll go do it more often now. At the park, maybe 一 you'll go terrorise some 8 year-olds and steal their skipping ropes, and some chalk perhaps.
"Bye-bye, Nii-chan."
...
"I see you've made your choice. Great one, Ran."
"...You have me for life, Mikey. I'll kill for you. I'll die for you. My life is now yours," he pauses.
"In exchange for that..."
Mikey thinks he is afraid to say it.
I shall scare him further then.
"I did say I'll kill him and her both if he said no, didn't I? That I'd shoot them in the head and feed them to Shiba Taiju's sharks. They've been really hungry lately."
"Yes."
And?
"Mikey, I'm good. I can fight, I can stay loyal. I'm good with the business groove, I can work with Kokonoi and bring in the money. In exchange for that, for having me for life, you will leave my brother alone. You will leave his girlfriend, my sister, alone. I am coming to you as a man who has a family. Please, leave them alone."
"That's interesting." Mikey grins, maniacally.
He pulls the trigger, shoots the other man.
Mikey tells Ran to drive the car. There is blood all over the steering wheel, but he grabs onto it as if it is merely just water.
Now his hands are really, really, tainted with blood. Tainted with the blood of his own soul 一 Haitani Ran 一 as he sells it to the devil. The Pompompurin keychain you had gifted him a few years back because you thought it'd resembled him a lot, now covered in the same blood as he hides it deep in his pocket.
He feels his hands tremble as he puts the gear to D and steps on the accelerator.
To our memory.
"You're wise, Ran."
No witnesses. Only between us both. I will leave Haitani Rindou and your sister alone.
"You have my word."
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Sequel
in another life, where rindou said no to joining what would soon become bonten, and ran exchanged his life for both rindou and yours.
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