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magics-neptunes-things · 4 months

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Williamson Holding

Hi guys!

Sooo this is a request from @holly-wallis and honestly it's massive. Like more than 14K words. It took me forever to do it, that's why I haven't post as much as before those last days/weeks.

I really hope that you will enjoy it. I proofread it two times but it's so big that I might have forgot some faults.

TW : Angst, Jealousy, Break up, One-side love, Game lost, mention of Covid. Reader is Leah Williamson's sister.

Gif credit for Caitlin’s one at @teenwolf-theoriginals

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You were an accident. Not really wanted at first, you were born 354 days after Leah, the 18 March 1998. Your parents weren’t ready to have a second child so early after the birth of their first daughter, but you never felt anything but love from them. People joke sometimes that they used the same recipe for Leah and for you. It’s true that you look a lot like her physically and for the character you have definitively some similar points too. You both are determined, loyal, funny, and very close of your family. But the person you are the closest is definitively Leah.

3 years after you, your brother Jacob is born. You like to joke about it and saying that they finally weren’t to traumatize by you more than that. Jacob is your brother, and you love him very much, but your relationship is different from the one with Leah. You like having time with him, but with him being away in Australia now, it’s a little bit harder.

Oh, and like Leah and your mother you’re an Arsenal fan, obviously.

You started football together, but you played the goalkeeper, letting Leah practicing striking and dribbling. You weren’t bad to be honest, but they was to many competition to be a goalkeeper and you decided during your teenager period to go for study instead of football.

You were great in it honestly; Leah sometimes asked you to do her homework when she came back too late from training. You’ll do it with pleasure, happy to help your big sister who paid you generously in candy. Or dried mango, your great passion.

On day after Leah turned 17, she made her big debut with Arsenal senior team. You were so proud of her, cheering her from the stand with all your family. It was very different of what it is now, but you already knew that she would make something amazing in football. And how much were you right.

It was at this period that Leah and you talked about a company that you could make together. Leah was studying accounting in case of her career wasn’t successful and you were very interested in marketing, publicity and human relations.

The Williamson Holding Corporation was founded in summer 2016, when you finished your tuition. You learned several languages (French, Spanish and Mandarin) during your free time and thanks to Leah and your parent’s financial help, you were able to start this adventure. Your company always were able to have a good profit every year. You were able to repay your parents already and Leah always refused, so you made her a founder, just like you.

Through the years, your company get a sponsorship with Arsenal and in particular Arsenal Women, obviously. Along the years, you managed to travel a lot to make your company known in other countries and find other financials, but you always managed to come back to see Leah play. You never missed one of her games, as crazy at it sound.

February 2020 – When you properly met Caitlin for the first time.

“Y/N! Sorry, can I borrow my sister for one second?”

Leah doesn’t wait for the answer to your interlocutor and takes your arm to drag you somewhere else. You let her though, secretly happy to have to finish this uninterested discussion with that weird man. You note mentally to be sure not to invite him to the next gala.

“Where’s the dead body?” you ask your sister who rolls her eyes.

“Don’t joke about it, we’ll get catch by Covid otherwise.”

You roll your eyes yourself, but don’t say anything. You just wait to your sister to stop at some time, for what she almost kidnapped you. You end up right in front of Caitlin Foord, the new signing for Arsenal. You already saw her to the games, you smirked when you caught her looking at you two time before realizing that you weren’t Leah, the first time she saw you. To her point, you were wearing Leah’s jersey.

“Cait, my sister. Sis, this is Caitlin.” Leah introduces you, before leaving you both to catch someone else.

“Uh, hello?” Caitlin mumbles with surprise, apparently not advertise that Leah were going to introduce you both.

“Hi” you giggle. “Nice to be properly introduced to you. Please excuse my sister, she isn’t the one who studied human relations.”

Your giggles and your joke help Caitlin to relax and you’re happy to see her smiling too.

“I can see that” Caitlin answers with her Australian accent.

You had a small talk with her about Australia, a country where you never been for now. You really looked to it though, and not only to have the opportunity to make your company bigger. Jacob and you always talked about going there for holidays. And after talking to Caitlin, you will definitively go to the east part of the country.

You were joined by Katie McCabe and the three of you started talking for a long time after that. Caitlin asked you several questions about your company and seems surprised to learn the amount of work you are putting in it.

“She’s a natural” Katie smirks “Everyone comes eat in her hand, she can make people do whatever she wants.”

You smirk back, raising an eyebrow while crossing your arms on your chest at the same time.

“Not everything with everyone.”

Katie doesn’t have the time to answer anyway, because Leah is back with her Williamson’s frown.

“No flirting with my teammates Y/N!”

“I wasn’t! I wouldn’t have any problem with Irish mafia.” you answer, thinking about Katie’s girlfriend.

You raise both of your hands to prove your innocence. Katie and you aren’t really flirting, it was more for fun and for joking with each other. Katie laughs while Leah hums for any answer and changed the subject just after that, training you, Katie and Caitlin in the discussion.

The night went great, and you are happy to be able to have some time with Leah’s teammates who are also your friends, especially the ones who are in the team since a long time. You get along pretty well with Caitlin too, who would accept really quickly to at least make a photoshoot and a sponsoring for your company. Unfortunately there is suddenly the lockdown and you weren’t able to do it before that.

October 2020 – The shooting

“Hi Y/N!”

You smile to the employee who greats you when you enter the building where the photoshoot for Caitlin was attending. Being at every single one is something you do every time, so your employees aren’t surprised to see you coming. You great them back, asking around if everything is fine with everyone. It seems to be, so you go to find Caitlin.

The Australian girl is just coming out of the room where she changed her clothes and find herself right in front of you.

“Oh hi! I didn’t know you will come.”

“I like to be here for this kind of things” you answer with a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m fine thank you” she smiles back.

“Y/N are you ok if we start?” the photographer asks.

“Of course. I’m going to sit here.”

You look at your phone on the way, answering a message from one of your managers before sitting on a chair some meters away from the different cameras. Caitlin doesn’t seem to be at ease at first, but soon she finds her way. You have a perfect and entirely trust in your team, but you have already red too much time how people can make other bad with their comportment, and you clearly don’t want that in your company. That’s why you don’t have a lot of employees too. That and the fact that you love have the control on everything.

After several shots, the photographer decides to make a break and you come over to see what the pictures look like. They are great to be honest.

“I really love this one” you smile, pointing one of the pictures.

Caitlin’s blue eyes are really showing in it. You haven’t realized how blue they are since now to be honest. You then raise your gaze on the girl, just to cross the same blue.

“I think this is my favorite too.”

You hum, before congratulating the photographer for her job. It’s the first time she does it for you, but you will certainly ask her to work for you again. She’s young, like you, and you like the idea to help young people to start in their life. Provided they deserve it, of course.

They take other pictures after that, and you choose five of them to post on the social media.

“Do you want to go to eat something?” you ask Caitlin when everything is finished.

You don’t always have the time to do it with everyone, but when you can, you do it. Like you said before, almost every girl in Arsenal is your friend. You know some of them more, like Jen Beattie, Katie McCabe, or Lia Wälti who are the closest to Leah to be honest. But you like all of them. You didn’t have the time to meet Steph Catley for now though. It probably will be coming soon.

Caitlin accepted your offer, and you take her to one of your favorite restaurants.

“I didn’t expect to eat at Nando’s to be honest” Caitlin smiles after you sat at your table.

“Oh” you answer, looking up from the menu you know by heart. “We can go somewhere else if you want, I thought – “

“No, it’s perfect here. I like it. I used to go there with my Mum and my sister a lot back in Australia.”

You smile softly, relaxing a little bit. People seems to forget sometimes that you are still a young woman who can enjoy eating burger or fries with her fingers.

“How are you settling in London?” you ask after the waiter came to take your command.

“Good, actually. The rain is something else, but the girls are great.”

“I heard you especially like the Swiss part” you smirk.

You laugh when Caitlin blushes. Leah told you about Lia and Caitlin relationship several weeks ago, when they start to date officially. You don’t have to tell Caitlin how you know it though; the girl understands it really quickly.

“Leah talks too much” she smiles nevertheless. “What about you? Are you seeing someone?”

“Not for now” you shake your head, adding when you see Caitlin’s questioning look. “I mean I had some dates slash fling with someone but it’s hard to be in a relationship while working so much. Girls seems to have a hard time understanding I will pass my family and my job before something else. I can understand though, so it’s better for me to be single for now.”

“I didn’t know you were into girls too. You really are Leah’s copy.”

“Maybe” you smile.

Your sister is your favorite person ever. You will never be upset to be compared to her. In your eyes, she’s the most amazing person in the world.

“I am lucky to be able to see her so much. I won’t be able to deal with it as good as you do.”

“It’s very hard sometimes. Because of the lockdown and all I wasn’t able to go back to Australia. I haven’t seen them for almost a year now…”

You wince at the sadness suddenly present in Caitlin’s eyes, regretting to have point this. You are interrupted by the waiter and your meal coming for you, but you excuse yourself anyway.

“I’m sorry to bring it up. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know, don’t worry” Caitlin smiles softly. “I will see them soon now.”

You look into Caitlin’s eyes for some more seconds to be sure that she’s saying the truth, before nodding slowly. She seems to be honest, and you are really relieved. Starting a friendship like this would have been the worst way. You finally smile back and report your attention on your plate just after Caitlin did.

The following of the conversation is a little easier, talking about Arsenal helps a lot. You talk to Caitlin about all the little things she maybe didn’t know for now and learn a lot of things about her and her past. She talked to you about her childhood and the financial difficulties her mother had, raising two children as a single mom. That makes you realize one more time how lucky you are to be where you are now. This kind of stories remember you about it and it’s never enough in your opinion.

October 2021 – The surprise

Unlike Caitlin was hopping, she wasn’t able to see her family as much as she wanted. She went in Switzerland with Lia though and told you that it was a very great time. You thought about her sometimes, remembering the trouble her eyes did to you, but you erased this kind of thoughts very quickly. Caitlin was in a happy relationship and there is no way you even look at a no-single lady.

You managed to build a friendship with her though and you sometimes went out with her, Lia, and Leah. You had a great time every time and you decided that it was perfect for you like this.

Caitlin opened herself to you about missing her family, but the tickets to come in London from Australia were expensive and you know that she doesn’t mean it like that, but you don’t think twice before contacting Caitlin’s sister and offering to them the tickets. They refuse at first, but you managed to find the good words. And, not for the situation being strange, you included Lia in the surprise.

After all, Caitlin was your friend and Lia was her girlfriend.

The Swiss woman went to the airport to take Jamie and her mother back to Caitlin home. Leah asked the team to put some interview or media things for Caitlin at the right time, to let you and her decorate Caitlin’s house with the most too much decoration ever. There is a banner writing “Surprise” on it, yellow and green balloons, an Australian flag, and you even managed to find a kangaroo balloon who is floating around the living room.

“That’s so kitsch. I love it” Leah smirks.

You giggle while looking around. You have to admit that you made a great job together. Two seconds after, Lia and the two Foord were coming inside the house. After some greetings and hugs, they looked at the decoration and approve it too.

“So, I guess this is our time to leave.” Leah says while looking at you.

You nod and prepare yourself to take your things to leave. It was without counting on Caitlin’s mother opinion.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Simone asks with her Australian accent. “You helped to do that; you’re definitively staying.”

“But – “ you start.

“No but.”

You see Jamie, Caitlin’s sister, rolling her eyes at her mother antics, but you don’t have time to say something else because Lia comes, running from the entrance where she was looking outside.

“She’s here! Hide!”

After a moment of panic, Jamie and Simone hide behind the couch while Leah and you went to the kitchen. Two seconds later, the door is open.

“Lia? You’re home?” Caitlin asks.

“In the living room, Love.”

You hear the characteristic sound of keys dropping on a wood furniture and Caitlin walking to the living room. You can’t help but peek in the room, Leah doing exactly the same thing a second after, her head above yours.

“Surprise!”

Caitlin probably had a heart attack, but you can’t help but smile seeing her face. Lia is doing the same thing while Jamie and Simone went to hug the shocked girl. You smirk seeing Leah getting emotional, what’s coast you a slap on the head. You send her the Williamson’s glare, but she doesn’t seem to be impress by at for a single second. Which probably make sense.

After some tears and explications, Leah proposed to serve the Champagne she choose to celebrate the reunion. Your sister and you try to escape one more time to let the Foord in family, but Simone doesn’t let you one more time.

It’s a little bit later that you find yourself alone with Caitlin, while you were looking for something alcohol free to drink.

“Lia told me what you did. I don’t have the words to thank you enough.”

Of course, Lia isn’t the kind of girl to take credits for something she hasn’t done. You smile and shrug at Caitlin.

“You don’t have to. I was happy to do that for you.”

Caitlin bites her lip and looks in your eyes.

“You know, when I mention that the tickets were expensive…”

“I know you weren’t saying it for me to do that, Cait. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“Ok.”

You smile again and were ready to go back to the living room, but Caitlin surprises you by giving you a hug. You weren’t expecting it to be honest, but it’s still pleasant. You hug her back, tightening her briefly against you.

“Thank you” she mumbles.

“You’re welcome.”

Spring 2022 – The Breakup

“Caitlin and Lia broke up”

“What?”

You stop your movement, your chopsticks between your mouth and your plate. You were having dinner with Leah in her house, like every Monday when you are in London. Leah snorts when the noodles fall back in your plate, making some sauce splash your shirt, but that’s not what you are concentrating on.

“What do you mean they broke up?”

Leah shrug et finish her chicken before answering you.

“It happened this weekend, Lia called me Sunday evening.”

“What happened?”

You were shocked. Lia and Caitlin seem to get along very well the last time you saw them.

“Nothing much. Lia said they just went apart and that her relationship was more comfortable than passionate now.”

“So, they’re ok?”

“I don’t really know for Caitlin. But Lia was still very upset about it. They are still friends and care for each other obviously, but they aren’t a couple anymore.”

You frown only, not really sure what to do about this information. Lia was a good friend of yours and you kind of have avoided Caitlin since you make her family come to England. You realized that day that you were too impacted with her happiness to be only a friend. In your mind, she was with Lia and this relationship would be like forever. It was to protect yourself too, falling for someone who isn’t single isn’t really your thing.

“Did you have news from Caitlin?”

“No” you answer, eating again. “I mean I saw her at the last games but that’s all.”

“Mh.”

“What?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing.”

“‘k.”

Several hours later, you were on your bed, your phone in your hand and the conversation with Caitlin opened. It wasn’t used since your birthday, Caitlin sent you a message to wish you happy birthday, but nothing since that.

Writing to her isn’t a good idea, even if she’s single now, she still in a middle of a breakup. But you still can be a good friend to her, right? You just have to put your feelings away.

From You Hi Caitlin, I heard about your breakup by Leah. I just wanted to tell that if you need someone to talk or something, don’t hesitate to call or write me, ok? I hope you’re ok. Take care of you.

You feel stupid to send her something like that after reading it again. It’s kind of cliché and you hate it. But surprisingly, Caitlin answers you relatively quickly.

From Caitlin Hello, thanks for your message. I will do and I hope you are ok too.

You bite your lips, not really happy about the answer. But in another way, what could you have expected? You didn’t really talk since last year and you were avoiding her like the plague. It’s only your fault.

After that day, you keep checking more frequently with Caitlin, asking her if she needs anything and how she is feeling. From what she answers, she was around a lot with Jordan and Katie. Your sister broke up some weeks ago with Jordan after longs years together, so that’s maybe the explanation of why Leah stays a little away of Caitlin.

You start to talk a lot and when Caitlin starts to be the first to write you can’t help but feel a strange something in your stomach. You also went to eat or drink something, your friendship slowly beginning to start again. You have to admit that you missed her. But she never said or show you anything to make you think that she missed you the way you do.

You think it’s better to have her in your life as a friend than not to have her, though.

Autumn 2022 – The New Season

You never missed a single match from Leah’s team since she plays for Arsenal, so there was no way that you will miss this one too. It’s the first game of the new season and you just came back from your holidays. You went some days with Leah in Ibiza before flying to Dubai with a friend.

You just have time to go home, take a shower and put your Arsenal jersey before coming to the stadium.

“Here she is!” Leah says happily when she sees you.

She hugs you like you haven’t seen each other in months and not ten days. But you hug her back, kissing her cheek before she releases you.

“Someone got a tan” she smirks, taking a step back to have a better look at you.

Unlike Leah, you have the ability to tan. Leah just gets red when she exposed herself without protection. You roll your eyes but don’t respond anything, your attention being catch by a certain Australian striker coming in your direction, five steps away from Leah now.

“And you’re not with your girlfriend?” Leah asks, a teasing smirk always on her face.

“Girlfriend?”

By now Caitlin is just next to Leah and was able to hear your sister. You roll your eyes at her antics before answering.

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s a friend.”

You frown when Leah snorts and left saying something like “yeah sure”. You watch her leave several seconds before turning to Caitlin.

“She’s not my girlfriend” you say again.

You don’t know why you feel the need to assure that to Caitlin, she probably doesn’t give a single shit about it. In fact, she smiles at you and pass an arm around you to salute you. You didn’t talk a lot a lot during those ten days, the different timetables were insane.

“It’s good to see you” she says before letting you go.

“Good to see you too. How is the comeback from Australia?”

“Still a little jet lag, but I’m fine.”

You smile at her and take the time to really look at her. You don’t do it a lot, scared to fall for her again. I mean, harder. Because now that you have thought about it a little more, you remembered that Leah always told you not to even flirt with one of her teammate. Falling in love with one of them would be worse than everything. You know that she will react very badly to you in a relationship with one of them. You are scared to lose her; Leah will probably never forgive you if she learns that you are in love with Caitlin.

“You look good” you smile sincerely at her.

“Thanks”

You both hear someone calling her on the back, the drills are going to begin, and she has to go.

“Hey, are you still in London tomorrow?” she asks suddenly.

“Yes, why?”

“There is a new place near mine, and they are making brunch who look stunning. Do you want to come?”

“Sure” you smile. “Text me the address and the time.”

After a nod and a smile, she’s gone where she’s needed. The game went great, they got an easy win. And you try to stay impartial when Caitlin got carded.

Christmas 2022 – The New Delivery service

You were at your parent’s house with all your family, without counting Jacob who stayed in Australia this year. Your mother was sad but thanks to a long video call during the moment when you all opened your presents, she seems a little less sad about it. You eat way too much, drink maybe a little too much too. That’s why your mother more or less forbade you to take your car to go home.

Leah stayed too and you are both chilling in one of your parents’ couch with a hot tea. Some Christmas movie is on TV, but you are in a food coma and can’t really focus on it to be honest. You are cuddling against Leah who is playing with your hair.

“Have you heard from Caitlin those days?” your sister asks suddenly.

“We said Merry Christmas to each other this morning, but I guess she’s sleeping now given the time. Why you ask?”

The friendly relationship you have with Caitlin is known by a lot of your friends and family now. And despite all your efforts, you are now deeply in love with her. Seeing her at least both a week don’t help, but you can’t help yourself. When you’re not asking, Caitlin proposes you something and you can’t say no to her.

She told you during autumn that she doesn’t feel very well in her life sometimes, so you made the statement to keep an eye on her.

“She asks to have a mental break. I’m not sure when or if she will come back from Australia. She will miss the first trainings for sure.”

“She didn’t say anything to me” you frown.

She doesn’t have to, to be fair. You are just friends, you’re not her best friend or her sister. She doesn’t owe you anything. But you are still worried.

Later, in your room, you are thinking about a way to send her a message. You don’t want to accuse her of anything or make her feel more pressure. You don’t want to take a place you don’t have too, you sometimes wonder if she’s not having something with Jordan, which would be a little strange maybe. But once again, she doesn’t owe you anything.

From You Hey, I’m sorry if you feel that it’s not my place to ask. But Leah told me that you needed a mental break, so I was wondering if you were ok?

You wait some minutes before thinking again and realizing the stupidity of your message.

From You Forget my question, it was stupid. You asked for a mental break, of course you’re not ok Can you forget those messages please?

You stop there not to look even more strange. You cringe when you throw your phone somewhere on your bed before deciding to go take a long and hot shower. You roll your eyes when your father menace you to make you pay their hot water bill but don’t say anything other than a “Sorry Dad”.

You smile when you hear Leah laughing from her room, before going back to your childhood bedroom. You have a double bed since you are eighteen so you can lay down crosswise it in your towel and look at the ceiling how you want. You soon start to think about how weird your messages to Caitlin were, so you take your phone again.

Just to see that you have two missed calls from Caitlin.

You call her back without waiting a single second, putting your headphone while you wait for her to answer. You realize that it was a FaceTime call only when she answers you with a black screen.

“Hello” she says in a sad voice.

You may be only imagining that because you learned about her need of a mental break only two hours ago.

“Hi. Sorry I missed your calls.”

“Don’t worry. Were you in the shower?”

“How do you know?” you frown.

“You literally are in a towel?”

You lower your eyes on your body and facepalm mentally. If you had one pound every time you humiliate yourself in front of her, you would have been way richer by now.

“Oh shit. Can you wait for a second?”

She hums and you put your phone on the bed to put a shirt and some panties, mentally insulting yourself. You take the time to take a big breath before going back in your bed and taking your phone in your hand.

“Are you still in bed?” you ask, curious about the black screen.

“No, I’m still in my room though. I just… I don’t know. It was stupid to me to call you in FaceTime.”

“Don’t worry. How are you feeling?”

“I’m tired. Like mentally tired. Being at home made me realize that I don’t have a lot keeping me at London right now.”

That hurt. But you don’t say anything, planting your nails deep into the skin of your palms.

“What are you talking about? You have friends here; the girls of the team love you. And the fans too.”

“The fans aren’t really happy of me right now, I’m not able to score a lot and making my job right. I keep disappointing everyone.”

“You have the right to feel a little uneasy, that doesn’t take away from you what you achieved those last months, you know.”

Caitlin doesn’t answer, but you hear her sight a little bit. You don’t know if it’s something to hide some tears and you feel your heart break a little imagining that. You let several seconds pass before talking again.

“What can make you feel better right now?”

“For real? One of the brunches we eat.”

You smile hearing that. The place next to her house became one of your favorite spots to eat together. You really love it too, maybe because you share a lot of secrets and laughs here.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing.”

You are lying. An idea had already pop in your head and you feel your brain running while you’re planning something in your head. Caitlin knows you enough to realize that you are up to something. You hear some shuffling, and you imagine that Caitlin just sits on her bed.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing” you answer, smiling.

“Y/N. Don’t you dare do something stupid.”

You did. The morning after the call, you went to the restaurant, took Caitlin usual command, and jump in the jet who belongs to your company. You don’t usually use it for long trip like this, but you wanted to be in Australia as soon as possible.

You feel a little bit stupid with your suitcase and the bag where Caitlin’s food is. You ask for it to be wrap carefully and explain that you want to take it on a trip, without mentioning it was a very long trip. Thanks to the fridge, you are sure that you won’t poison Caitlin.

You told to Leah that you have an urgent meeting somewhere in Australia with a possible investor that you can’t ignore. She’s a little bit gutted not to be able to pass New Year with you, but you promised to bring her some Lamington to eat with her tea. In fact, you’re not really lying, you do have someone who is interested by your company in Australia. You just aren’t really obliged to travel here to talk to him.

You swallow with difficulty when you are in front of Caitlin’s porch, hopping that you won’t have to face her mother or her sister. You didn’t mention to Caitlin that you were coming, so if she wants you to go away, you just will. You still have some things to do in Australia, you weren’t totally lying to Leah. You just hide the fact that your priority was to see Caitlin.

You take a big breath before knocking on the door. This is a bad idea. Maybe the worst idea you never had. Why are you so good in your job and so stupid when it concerns the girl you are in love with?

But you don’t have the possibility to stress even more, because soon the door is opening. Caitlin looks at you like you are a hallucination or something.

“Um. I have a delivery for miss Foord?”

You let your suitcase in the car you rent, so you just have the bag with the food in your hand. You lift it to show it to her and it doesn’t take her more than a second to recognize the logo.

“Y/N, what the hell?” she mumbles, taking it in her hand.

“I… Uh. Well, I have stuff to do in Australia for the company and I thought that because I’m on this part of the globe, it could be great to please you.”

You’re lying. And very bad. Caitlin is looking at you like you are crazy, and you can’t blame her, you made a 24 hours journey to take her some breakfast and see her. She’s not supposed to know the truth, but you feel like she has some suspicions. You feel yourself blush and offer her a small smile.

“I better go. Enjoy your food and see you later.”

Maybe you’ll go let yourself die in the middle of the Australian’s desert. With a little luck, some snake or scorpions are going to come to bite you and you will die in atrocious suffering.

“No, wait!”

She grabs your arm with her hand, and you turn in her direction. She’s looking at you with a strange gaze, that you don’t know from her.

“Do you want to drink something? We don’t have Earl Grey, but I still can make you a tea if you want to.”

“Ok” you smile softly.

Caitlin doesn’t let your arm go and took you inside. It’s very quiet and after several seconds you ask her if her mother or sister are here. She answers no, her sister is now leaving with her fiancé and her mother is working today. You nod, secretly relieved to know that you won’t have to face Simone for now. You’re pretty sure that she understood when you saw her the last time the real feelings you have for her daughter.

“Where are you staying?” Caitlin asks while you look at her making you a cup of tea.

“At Park Hyatt”

“In Sydney?”

You hum and she frowns while giving you the cup of tea. It’s fuming and because you are drinking a lot of tea, she knows that you like it with sugar and milk.

“And you wanted to go back in Sydney just after giving me the brunch?”

“Brunch that you aren’t eating, by the way.”

Realizing it, Caitlin takes the bag one more time before taking out the different packages. She still looking at you discreetly, but you busy yourself by drinking your tea.

New Year 2022-2023 – The New Beginning

Caitlin proposes to you to stay at her home and not to go to your hotel, but you refused. You don’t want to bother Caitlin or her mother. That doesn’t mean you don’t see Caitlin; in fact, you see her every day for several hours.

She even invited you to come to the party her friends are making for the New Year. You accepted, after asking her several times if she’s sure that you won’t be a burden. The third time you ask, she threatened to knock you out with her vegemite pot, so you stopped.

And when you’re not with Caitlin, you work. You don’t have the possibility to see your brother who is on the other side of Australia. You almost lost consciousness when you learned that it takes 41 hours by car to get to Perth. So, you promise Jacob that you will see him before going back to England. Still with your jet.

You call Leah and your mother every day, but you are still focused on your goal to make Caitlin comes back to London with you. She seems a little down to be honest, but she seems to be better day after day. It gives you hope.

“Would you like to stay her to sleep tonight?” Caitlin asks on the 31th December while you were sitting next to her on the couch.

“Oh… I don’t know, I still have my hotel room.”

“Come on, it’s like 2 hours from here. And if you drink, I would rather that you stay here. My Mother will sleep in one of her friend’s houses anyway.”

“Yeah, ok” you mumble. “Wouldn’t let you all alone I case you’ll be scared.”

You can see Caitlin’s smile from the corner of your eyes. You hate the pleasant feeling with the fact that she seems to care about you. One thing is sure, this trip doesn’t help you about how in love you are with this girl.

You never talked so much with Caitlin before now, and you never were so close of her. Like right now, you are watching TV and Caitlin’s legs are on yours. You put your hand on the knees of the Australian like it’s nothing, mechanically drawing shapes on it. Sometimes she put her head on your shoulder, and you have to concentrate yourself to stay cool about it.

You grab something to eat before going to take a shower and prepare for the party. You know that they would have been pictures of the night so you tell Leah that Caitlin invites you to pass the night with her and her friends, you know your sister would have been worried to learn that you are alone tonight. Or sad. And you don’t want any of it.

To be honest, you haven’t taken an outfit for the party, you thought that you would be alone in your hotel room. So, you have to shop in Sydney to find the right one. You were getting ready in Jamie’s old bedroom and were looking at yourself with skepticism when Caitlin comes to knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Yep” you simply answer.

She enters the room, and you want to cry. You always had something for her with her hair down and with the outfit she chooses, she’s just breathtaking.

“You look stunning” you say, without thinking about the consequences.

You are surprised to see her blush and hide your smirk by finishing to style your hair.

“Can we take a picture for my sister?” you ask to the Australian woman.

She nods and you briefly hesitate between a selfie or a mirror picture. You choose the second one, posing with a smile and the V-form with your fingers while Caitlin is sticking out her tongue.

You send the picture to Leah with Caitlin looking above your shoulder. The proximity makes your heartbeat faster, but you try to keep it cool one again.

“Are you ready to go?”

You follow Caitlin outside and in the Uber you command to go to her friend’s house. Knowing you both will be drinking, it’s safer this way. You already met some of Caitlin’s friends during your stay and they all are very friendly. But tonight, they will be more of them. The house is pretty crowded already when you arrived, and you are relieved to feel Caitlin grabs your arm.

“Stay next to me, yeah?”

You thank the World for Caitlin being a little shy at first and making her able to understand that you might not feeling ok surrounded by a lot of stranger people. You take the excuse to cross the house to slip your hand in hers. Her hand is soft and warm, and you miss the feeling when you have to let her go.

Caitlin introduces you to some of her friend’s you haven’t met for now. And if you notice the interested and non-subtle look of one of them, you act like you don’t realize it at first. But then, she starts to talk to you so much that you almost don’t have the possibility to pass time with Caitlin.

At some point, you even lose sight of her. And you don’t like the idea, what if someone get close to her? In the way you dream of it? You don’t know if you would support it to be honest, not after being so close of her.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Julia tells you, taking you away of your thoughts.

She takes you on the part of the house being dedicated for the dancefloor and you follow her without saying anything. You look around to see if you can see Caitlin, but it seems like she’s not here. You distract yourself by dancing with Julia who is a pretty good dancer to be honest.

At some point, she comes closer to you to be able to be heard through the loud music. Her hand is on your hips and her mouth right next to your ear.

“It’s a shame that you live so far away. I really would like to know you better.”

You sigh internally, wondering how someone can flirt with you with such facilities when you can’t even make a hint for Caitlin to understand how much you care for her. You don’t have time to answer anything, because there is suddenly someone taking your arm and you recognize the softness of those hand before turning around.

“Mind if I take her back?” Caitlin asks.

Julia raises both of her hand in sign of surrender with a smile. She says something like “Talk to you later” but you don’t really listen to her, your eyes being plunged in Caitlin’s one.

She looks upset, but her voice is calm when she speaks to you.

“I’m going outside. Would you come with me?”

“Sure” you smile softly.

She hadn’t let go of your arm, but you pass your other around it to be sure not being separated from her during your journey to the door. You feel pathetic but you’ll do anything to be able to be close from her. Everyone seems to be here by now and the house is very crowded. With the music, the laughs, and the discussions, going outside is finally a good idea.

There is no one in the garden and the fresh air makes you shiver. But you prefer to be concentrated on Caitlin who has a wrinkle between her eyebrows from frowning. She sits on a low wall, and you follow her to stand next to her, looking at the moon to forget how much you want to touch her.

“Are you ok?” you ask after several minutes of silence.

“I am” she only answer, looking at the horizon.

It seems to you that she is not, but you don’t say anything else. You thought that she asked you to come with her to talk or something, but it seems like you were wrong. Caitlin doesn’t stay silence for long though, turning suddenly in your direction.

“No, in fact I’m not.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m trying to figure out things, and I can’t. And I really need to do it now because otherwise I think I’m really going to become crazy.”

She seems angry and desperate at the same time. She’s talking with her arms, a thing that she usually doesn’t. Hopping to help her to relax a little, you come near her, putting your hand on her knee.

“You can tell me everything, you know that right?”

She sighs, passing a hand on her face. You have the feeling to understand what she think, and that it’s the fact that she doesn’t know where to begin.

“I just… You came here from your appointment but you brought me food just because I mentioned the day before.”

“Yes” you confirm quietly.

It’s maybe better for you not to precise that you went to your appointment because you came here. This feels maybe a little creepy.

“And you told me that you start writing me and talking to me more because you heard by Leah that I was struggling after my breakup with Lia.”

“Yes” you say again.

“Why did we stop talking by the way? It looks like suddenly we grow apart?”

You shrug only, not knowing what to answer to her. You obviously take care not to cross her eyes when you answer.

“Why did you come back anyway? After my breakup?”

“Because I care for you” you answer, looking at her carefully.

“I think I need to know how much you care about me” she says slowly, and you are happy to be in the dark because your cheeks are bright red. “Please, Y/N. Because sometimes I feel like you like me as a friend and sometimes, I feel like there is more than that. But when I tell myself that, you kind of back off and everything is strange and blur again. Just like tonight, I thought that we would pass the night together, but you kept dancing with Julia and I understand because she’s fun and beautiful. But I hated to see you with her, and everything is… blur. And I really need to understand.”

It's your turn to stay silence, because where the hell could you start. You are not closed to answer to her questions, but you are scared because what you have seems so fragile to you.

“Are you interested in me more than a friend?” she finally asks.

Well, maybe you should have talk before because this question is very difficult to answer. Not because you don’t know the answer but because it can change anything. You swallow your saliva with difficulty before answering. You can’t lie to her.

“Yes. I am.” you mumble.

You hear Caitlin taking a big breath before expiring and you just can’t look at her. You hear the people inside getting excited and you wonder if it’s because it will soon be midnight.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caitlin asks quietly.

“Because I care about you! At first you were in a relationship, and you seemed so happy in it and why in the world would I be between someone and their happiness? Then you broke up with Lia and you seemed so sad and so lost, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you in any way.”

You were talking fast, and loud, the feelings of all of it taking over the rest. You were struggling too, so much, but it was easier anyway to keep all of those feelings inside.

“And now? Why didn’t you say anything?”

You sigh and shrug. You just admitted that you were basically in love with her since day one, what can be worse than that anyway?

“Because I prefer to have you in my life as a friend than to take the risk to lose you.”

There is a moment of silence and just before Caitlin start to talk again, you hear the other people starting to count the seconds before midnight and the New Year.

“You are an idiot.”

10… 9… 8…

You hear Caitlin talk and even if the words could have been harsh, you have the feeling that she is smiling. You just have to look at her to see that she actually is, not her big toothy smile, but the small one. Her smirk.

“What?” you ask.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N Williamson.”

7…6…5…

Caitlin jumps from the small wall she was sitting on to come closer to you. You are frozen, you just watch her move to be right in front of you. You can smell her perfume, see how much her eyes are blue. She looks at your eyes too, before that her eyes drop on your lips.

4…3…2…

She cups your jaw with her hand, so tenderly that you just want to melt only with that gesture. Your heart almost went out of your body when you realize that she’s leaning to you, still letting you the possibility to back off if you want to.

You don’t want to.

1…0

Just when your lips met, the firework of the city irrupts in the sky, being a pretty good metaphor of what you’re feeling inside right at this moment. You are finally kissing the girl you are in love with and she’s kissing you back. She even put her hand in your back to press you against her while her other hand left your jaw to be on your neck.

When the air became an issue, you press your forehead against hers, without being able to suppress the big smile on your face. When you open your eyes, you see that she’s looking at you, offering a shy smile.

“Do you want to go home? To talk about all of this?”

“Talking?” you smile softly.

“Well, maybe kissing too, a little bit.”

16 August 2023 – The World Cup

You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s the semi-finale of the Women World Cup in Australia and your national team, England just won it place for the finale against Spain. You distractedly prevent your sister from jumping from excitement, so as not to make her knee injury worse. You would probably have been happier about the results if Leah were on the pitch, to be honest.

You are looking at your girlfriend’s silhouette, sitting on the floor. You can’t express how much you would like to go on the pitch and hug her tightly. You know how much this game meant for Caitlin and the rest of her team. Seeing her away from you from only several meters when you weren’t able to see her from almost two months is hard too.

You chose to hide your relationship with Caitlin to anyone around you, except Caitlin’s mother who definitively can read way to easily into people. So, you weren’t able to explain to your sister why you felt so moody those past days, the distance between you and Caitlin being hard to deal with. You can’t explain how much you missed her. Even if you call each other every day, it wasn’t the same.

You were busy helping Leah with her injury though, taking her to every single of her appointment, letting Lia Wälti doing it when you weren’t able to. Since Caitlin left, you went to live to Leah’s. And when your big sister told you that she was coming to Australia to the match, you came too. You even were able to see your brother this time.

After the game, Leah took you to the locker room to meet her teammates and you hug the ones playing to Arsenal. And Alessia Russo, who is coming for the new season too. You were talking to Mary Earps when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Excusing yourself, you get out the locker room to answer when you see Caitlin’s ID on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Are you still in the stadium?”

“Yes. Where are you?”

“I just went back to my hotel room. Everyone is so sad, I can’t look at them right now.”

You pout, hearing that said sadness in Caitlin’s voice too. You can easily imagine her on her bed, still her Matilda’s jogging.

“I’m so sorry Babe” you whisper in your phone, looking around you to be sure that no one is around. “You played great and I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks” she mumbles before adding “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, so so much. When are you going back to London?”

“Two days after the game against Sweden. They still want to make a celebration about all of it in Sydney. Are you still staying to watch the finale?”

“Yes, Leah got us tickets. I’m going back the day after though; would you like to go back with me instead?”

She hums only and you’re not sure that she really understands what you ask her. You are not angry or hurt anyway, you know that she has to deal with the lost and the sadness of it. You just want to make her feel better.

One hour later, you were waiting for her to answer to you in front of her door. You managed to sneak inside the hotel and left Leah with Keira and Georgia. You are not sure that she realized you were missing, so happy to be able to pass time with some of her closest friends.

You knock again when you realized that no one is answering, not too hard. You don’t want to attract anybody’s attention. You were tense, scared to be seen by someone. Thanks God, Caitlin finally opens her door and looks at you like she’s seeing a ghost.

“Are you alone?” you whisper.

“Yes, but…”

Just like her mother would say, no but. You entered the room and immediately pass your arms around her neck to kiss her. Caitlin needs several seconds to realize what is happening before kissing you back.

“What are you doing here?” she asks gently when you release each other.

“I missed you. And you are sad and being just dozens of meters away from you without being able to talk to you killed me.”

Caitlin smile sadly, taking your hand to make you sit on her bed. Unlike you were thinking, she changed her clothes and is wearing a short with a hoodie. It feels very soft when you take her against you to hug her. You close your eyes, letting yourself invade by her sent.

“I was looking at you every time I was able to. You are hot in a jersey, but yellow would have suits you better than white.”

She pulls gently on the white t-shirt you’re wearing, a number eight with Williamson on the back, of course. You smile softly, kissing her temple. She snuggles closer to you, passing on of her leg on your own.

“Have you eaten something?” you ask.

“Nah. I’m not really hungry for now.”

“What about a bath?”

“I already took a shower.”

“Ok, I’m asking the question again. What about a bath with me?” you ask after a sigh.

You feel her smirk against you, and she sit on the bed to be able to look at you.

“You mean I’ll have the possibility to get you away from this horrible jersey and having you naked against me by the same move? I’ll be crazy to say no.”

You roll your eyes and throw a cushion at her before getting up from the bed. You then go to the bathroom to start running the water, waiting patiently to find the right temperature. You check your phone just to be sure that Leah isn’t looking for you when the tube is getting filled, and then you go back to Caitlin in the room.

“It’s ready when you are Babe.”

You give her both hands to help her to get up from the bed, which she doesn’t hesitate to take. But, as she gets up from the bed, she’s not following you to the bathroom like you thought she would. She passes her arms around your shoulder, holding you tight against her.

Understanding what she needs, you hold her back, even firmer against you. You are higher from several centimeters from her, not so much though. But you like the way she can easily hide her face in your neck without taking strange position. You rock her softly, kissing her cheeks and her hair several times, only to release her when she’s ready.

“Thanks for coming here for me” she whispers against your skin.

“Every time” you smile sincerely, looking tenderly at her.

She smiles back and cup your chin with her hand, before following you to the bathroom this time. You try to make her go alone in the tub; you really just want her to relax. But you finish with her in it, massaging slowly her back.

You know her team has special masseurs and that they are definitively way more skillful that you are. But seeing how your girlfriend has her eyes closed and let you do whatever you want, it must not be unpleasant. Except that the moan and whispers she’s making are making you think about something else, and please everyone forgive you, but you don’t had sex for two months and your girlfriend is naked in front of you.

“Why d’you stop?” Caitlin mumble with a pout.

You are glad that she’s sitting in front of you and that she can’t see your face, because you are bright red once again. You don’t want to take advantage of her, she’s upset and tired. You kiss her shoulder though, getting her hair out of the way. You love her with her hair down. Have you already mentioned it?

“Isn’t it time for great footballer to go to bed?”

She groans and turn around to face you. You are trying hard to just look at her face and not being distracted by everything else. But then she sits on your lap, and you have to get out of the water right now.

“Why are you so tense?” she frowns. “You may be the one needing a massage.”

You laugh softly and decide to be honest with her since not talking about your feelings made you lost time before. And you are a very bad liar. You bite your bottom lip before answering.

“I haven’t seen you in like two whole months, which mean that I haven’t touch you from two months, Caitlin. And you are naked on me and I’m really trying to be a good and caring girlfriend without sinful ideas because I know how much disappointed you are, but you make it very hard. Plus, the water is getting cold.”

The realization appears on her face, before being erased by mischievous smile.

“We still can put hot water in it.”

In the end, you add hot water on the tub several times. When you emerge from the bath, you are as tired as Caitlin, and she doesn’t need many pleas to make you stay with her. You were planning to go back to your hotel room that night to be honest. But you don’t. You answer to Leah who wrote you to tell you that she’s sleeping with the team and asked you if you want to go with her before going under the cover next to your Aussie’s girlfriend.

You lie face to face with her and smile when she starts to stroke your face.

“You are so beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and smile.

“You need to sleep Foord; you are starting to get delirious.”

She frowns and hit your forehead before leaning to kiss you. You smile against her lips and when she turns around to let you cuddle her from behind, you don’t need more than several seconds to fall asleep.

Hours later, you are waking up of your peaceful sleep by a deep voice with an Australian accent.

“Caitlin Foord what the hell?!”

Caitlin jumps next to you and you groan, hiding under the cover. Before you understand what is really happening, your girlfriend took Mackenzie Arnold by the arm to take her with her in the bathroom.

“Why the hell is there Leah Williamson half naked in your bed?” Mackenzie whisper-shout from the bathroom.

You roll your eyes, rolling on your back to grab your phone. It’s more than 9 in the morning, you really should have put an alarm on your phone. Thanks god, there isn’t message from Leah for now.

“It’s not Leah” you hear Caitlin answer.

“I have bloody eyes you know?”

Now that you realize what is happening, your heart is pounding. Mackenzie isn’t a close friend of Leah, but you know that her girlfriend is a good friend of Alessia who is a good friend to Leah. And you. But more to Leah. And you obviously can’t let anyone near Leah know about your relationship.

“It’s not Leah! … It’s her sister.”

There is a moment of silence and then

“You are in so much trouble. Leah is going to kill you.”

“I know! That’s why you have to shut your mouth Macca, even with Kristy.”

Mackenzie snorts and even you can’t see it, you easily can imagine Caitlin’s imploring look. There is a sigh, and you sit on the bed.

“Alright, I’m not saying anything. But you really should have chosen someone else to get over the lost.”

“It’s not just… We are together, actually. Like in couple.”

“Oooh that’s why you are always glued to your phone?”

“It’s not really the time to talk about that right now” Caitlin points.

She’s right, but you can’t help but smile at this. You are happy to have a good abonnement though, otherwise you will probably be poor because of your phone’s bill. There is some more noise, and the door handle goes down before the gesture suddenly stops.

“Not a word to Alanna too, please.”

“Promise.”

After that they are both out of the bathroom and you smile awkwardly to Mackenzie before she waves at you and get out of the room.

“I’m so sorry.”

Caitlin looks so tense that you almost feel sorry for her, but you are really stressed too. You shouldn’t have stayed the night here. Sighing, you get up from the bed to look for your clothes.

“It’s not your fault.”

Caitlin hums and while you are getting ready, a question pops suddenly in your head. You look up at your girlfriend who is sitting on the windowsill, looking outward. She’s still in her pj’s with her bed hair.

“Cait?” you call her softly.

She just turns her head in your direction. To distract yourself a little bit, you braid your hair while asking the question bothering you.

“I shouldn’t be concerned about Mackenzie coming in your room at random hours of the day or night, right?”

Her face goes soft, and she breaks the few meters between you to stop right in front of you.

“You don’t have anything to be worried about” she answers, slipping a rebellious lock of hair behind your ear. “No one is in my mind apart from you. Plus Macca has her own girlfriend.”

“Ok.” you smile before hugging her.

You stay in her arms longer than usual. Saying her goodbye is hard even if you know you will see her again in several days now.

April 2024 – The Fight

It was several months after the World Cup that Caitlin mentions for the first time to talk to Leah about your relationship. You were still hiding at that time, just like you are still doing now. You refuse to do it, saying that it was too early and explaining to her again why you can’t do that for now.

She understood your place but then she talked about it again in January, when you had to wait for several days to have a date to celebrate your first anniversary. The date being the First of January, you were obviously passing the day with Leah and your family. You gave her the same answer, it’s too soon and you don’t want to fight with your sister when she’s about to come back on the pitches from her injury.

But now, Caitlin is talking about it again and you can feel how much she’s frustrated about it. You try to make everything to distract her from that idea. You took her on trip just the two of you, using once again your jet to gain time. You are sleeping at her house every time you can. In reality you would love to be open about your relationship, in front of your friends and family at least. But you can’t take the risk to lose or disappoint your sister.

“It’s been a year and three months, Y/N.” Caitlin is saying, frowning like never before. “Leah is back on the pitch; we won the finale against Chelsea and your last deal went well and there is nothing holding us now. Well, except you.”

You sigh, pitching the base of your nose. You don’t want to fight with her. It happens almost never to be fair, only when you are talking about this.

“I can’t do it now, Babe. I just… I don’t know how Leah would react and I can’t take any risks.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I can’t, Caitlin.”

She snorts and cross her arms on her chest. She’s hurt, you can see it. You try to take a step to touch her, but she backs up from two steps where you took one. Your arm falls stupidly against your hip.

“Come on, you can’t ask me to choose between you and my sister. I told you since the beginning why we can’t talk about it to people.”

“Why are we even together then?” she asks coldly.

The question hurts but you decided to ignore the feeling to stay honest to your girlfriend and make her understand your statement.

“Well I don’t know, because I love you?” you answer, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t feel like it’s really the case right now.”

“Don’t say that” you frown too. “You know that I love you.”

But Caitlin is shaking her head and starts collecting her things around your living room. She’s shaking and you try once again to make her stop. Your arguments have never been deeper.

“Baby, please…” you start but she cuts you.

“No. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t stay with you if that means we’ll never evolve in any way. I just can’t.”

You feel numb when you look at her putting her shoes and taking her vest. You follow her like a lost puppy in the entrance, trying once again to grab her arm. You are successful this time and she stops her movements.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Let go of me now, please.”

You just obey, slowly releasing her arm. There is a lump in your throat when you talk again.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Your voice is hardly even a whisper, but Caitlin doesn’t miss it. Her blue eyes cross yours when she looks up over her shoulder.

“Talk to you soon.”

And then, she’s gone. You try to call her of course, texted her too, but she never answered. It’s with puffy red eyes and tears on her face that Leah finds you under your covers in your bed several hours later. She got scared when she doesn’t receive any answer to her text and just come to your home.

She hugs you at first, helping you to calm down to be able to talk and explain what is happening. You hesitated at first, before telling her everything. Well, almost everything because you never mentioned Caitlin’s name or the fact that she knows Leah.

“Tell me her name and I will go on her to make you cry like this.”

Your big sister managed to take you out from your bed to go to the living room and made you drink water and eat something. There are still tears running on your face from time to time, but Leah takes the time to wipe them gently each time.

“She just broke up with me. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Leah makes a grimace before taking you back against her for a new hug.

“If she can’t wait for you, it means that she didn’t deserve you, Love.”

“Can we stop talking about her? Please.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Leah puts the TV on, starting a random show and you try to concentrate on it. You can’t really, but you are still so thankful for your sister. The way she listened to you talking, holding you while you cry like a crazy woman without pushing you to know anything else makes you think that maybe she wouldn’t have scream if you talked to your love for Caitlin. But it’s too late anyway. Caitlin doesn’t want you anymore.

********

Two days after, on Saturday, Leah took you to the game. She almost hasn’t left your side, only to go to training. You are still working though, losing yourself in work. Like you always did before Catilin.

“What’s happening to your sister?” Lia asks Leah during the training.

Your sister turns in your direction, watching you several seconds before sighing. She’s aware that Caitlin isn’t far away from them, but she doesn’t know where your problem comes from, so she answers anyway. Caitlin is supposed to be your friend after all.

“She’s navigating through her first breakup” Leah answers, still looking at you.

Your mother is sitting next to you, she has her hand on your shoulder. Leah explained to your parents what was happening to you and of course your mother is looking for you like you are dying. You are looking at the pitch, but Leah can tell that you aren’t really looking. Unless you’ve discovered in yourself a passion for corner posts.

“Oh? I didn’t know she had someone.”

“Me neither” your sister sighs. “She’s like this since Wednesday but she doesn’t want to tell me who she is.”

Next to your sister, Caitlin gulps nervously when she crosses Steph’s gaze. Caitlin is a mess since Wednesday too. She took the decision to leave, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her. She almost called you a thousand times. She missed you and wasn’t able to hide her sadness with the people who know her the best. Steph Catley is one of them.

“What?” Caitlin snaps at her teammate.

“Nothing” Steph answers, still looking at her suspiciously.

Caitlin went back to the bench nervously to grab something to drink, looking discreetly in your direction. Now your mother is talking to you, and you are looking at her, but Caitlin knows you very well and realizes how destroyed you look. Of course, it made her sadder than ever, but she still has her point. She wants to move in with you, be able to talk about her girlfriend to everyone one, she wants to take you on date in London and not only seeing you in one of your apartments. She wants to be able to walk holding your hand where you both live, not in the other side of the world. She wants to be able to take a plane without needing to hide in the airport.

You were hopping that Caitlin will be benched today, but she’s starting just like Leah. Which means that you will have to look at her for 90 minutes, knowing that you lost her.

It’s a great game to be honest, and while your mother feed you with fries and chicken nuggets (it’s a family thing) you are able to distract yourself enough not to cry while watching your ex-girlfriend.

Leah is sub at the 78th minute and Caitlin is still playing. You would have preferred for her to go on the bench too, particularly when she got hurt five minutes after that. The tackle wasn’t clean at all and you know right away that Caitlin is hurt. Like really hurt. You don’t need to see the stretchers coming for her, you don’t need the concerned looks of her teammate or Katie shouting at the girl taking Caitlin down.

You are up of your seat instantly, trying to have a better look of what is happening. They take longs agonizing minutes to get Caitlin out of the pitch and you run in the locker room in hope to be able to see her. But you just run into Leah.

“I’m going to the hospital to be with her” your sister explains to you. “I’m not allowed to go with her to the ambulance so I’ll take my car.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure.”

You are relieved that she doesn’t question you, but once again Caitlin and you are supposed to be friends. Even close friends. You follow Leah to the parking, and she’s ignoring the fan calling her name for the first time. You are so nervous that you want to throw up and you are glad that your sister isn’t talking, otherwise you are not sure that you will be able to contain yourself.

One of the Arsenal’s medics is waiting for you when you arrive, and he takes you into a private waiting room. From now, you just have to wait. Sitting next to Leah, you put your head on her shoulder and are glad that her cuddle instinct is so high when she passes her arm around your waist to hug you. You really don’t deserve her love; you were lying to her from months now.

Leah was scrolling on her phone for what feels like hours when someone comes in the waiting room.

“Are you here for miss Foord?” the medic asks.

“We are” Leah answers while getting up. “How is she?”

“Right. So, her leg has a doble fracture, but those are sharps break so she normally doesn’t need any surgery. She’s in a lot of pain though, so we give her something to help her. She also has a big bruise on the knee, but it will resolve itself. Would you like to see her?”

“If it’s possible, yes” Leah nods.

“Only one person for now.”

Your sister turns to you and you shrug, trying your best to smile at her. You would kill to be able to see Caitlin right now, but she doesn’t know that you are here. And you’re not sure that she wants to see you. Probably not.

“Go. I’ll text or ring her mother.”

Leah nods once again and follow the male nurse to Caitlin’s room. There are strange machines in the room, but Caitlin is up.

“She’s under drugs. She might be a little out of it” the medic whispers to Leah before leaving the room.

The noise of the door makes Caitlin turns her head in Leah’s direction. The blonde gives her a smile and take a chair to sit next to her.

“Oh. Wrong Williamson.”

“What?” Leah laughs softly while sitting up.

Caitlin is speaking like she’s half-asleep but when she looks at Leah, your sister feels like she knows very well what she’s saying. At least that the words are real.

“I would rather see your sister.”

She shrugs and wince, the drugs making her head feels fuzzy.

“Well she’s here, I still can ask her to come if you want” Leah proposes kindly.

“She’s here?”

The surprise on Caitlin’s tone is astonishing to Leah, who frowns a little while looking at her friend. She knows how much time you pass together, well for the brunch or this kind of things. Not really that you passed almost every night together when you are in London. Unless it’s a Monday and you are at Leah’s.

“Yeah?”

Caitlin stays quiet for several seconds, before sighing and looking at the window. The view isn’t amazing to be honest, just the parking lot of the hospital.

“She wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I fucking broke her heart.”

“What are you talking about?” Leah frowns deepens.

She doesn’t mean to take advantage of Caitlin under drugs, but it’s about you and you are the person who is the most important in her life. It’s not a one-side thing, you are Leah’s person as much as she’s yours.

“We had a fight Wednesday because I wanted to tell you about our relationship or at least that she really thinks about telling you. But like usual she had excuses, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love her so much it’s hurt. I just want to be able to hold my girl in public and tell the world how wonderful she is. Who travel the world to bring someone fucking pancake? We were amazing and now we are nothing and a fucking prick just broke my fucking leg and I just want to her to hug me. But she can’t because I fucking wasn’t patient enough with her.“

Leah is stunned. And not only because of Caitlin’s unusual use of swear words. She never though a single second that Caitlin and you were more than just friends. Or that the Australian was the reason of your tears for the last days.

“I know that she loved me, but she loves you even more Leah. She was so scared to lose you. But now I lost her. And I’m really tired.”

“You should sleep a little maybe” Leah mumbles.

Caitlin sighs and close her eyes.

“I’m going to see my sister, will you be ok alone a little bit?”

“Yeah” Caitlin breath before opening her eyes. “Will you tell her? That I love her?”

Leah hesitates some seconds before nodding and smiling softly.

“Yeah. I will.”

She watches the Australian woman closes her eyes and falling asleep as soon as her eyes are closed. Her mind is running, trying to understand what she just learned. She feels like she isn’t really here when she finds you still sitting on the waiting room. You immediately spot her concern look and get up from your chair.

“Is everything ok? I just wrote to Caitlin’s mother that she will be fine?”

“Yeah, she just fell asleep.”

You let a shaky breath pass your lips, really relieved. Your sister still looks pale, but maybe it’s because of those white walls?

“She has a message for you though, that she asked me to tell you.”

“What is it?”

You are curious to know and look at your sister who cross her arms on her chest while looking at you.

“She asks me to tell you that she loves you.”

Well now you might be whiter than Leah. Your big sister watches you become paler than ever, she watches your eyes widen too and how you open your mouth several times to talk without anything coming out.

“What were you thinking Y/N, really?”

You could cry right now. You passed months perfectly hiding your relationship to Leah, giving you probably the onset of an ulcer due to anxiety, and some drugs from a public hospital is going to break all the efforts you made?

“Leah, I’m so sorry” you began, begging while looking at her. “Please, I never wanted to hide something to you, I swear.”

You were panicking. You just lost your girlfriend and now you are about to lose your sister too. The two most important people in your world, sorry to your mom.

“I just don’t understand” Leah says, shaking her head.

You probably are going to have a panic attack.

“I…”

“I don’t understand” Leah cuts you “How you might have thought that I will be mad at you for being with someone who made you happy?”

You don’t understand and you probably don’t look very intelligent with the way you are looking at Leah. She’s still frowning, but you realize that she isn’t mad at you, she just seems lost.

“You said several times that I wasn’t allowed to flirt with one of your teammates, Le” you point, whispering.

“I said flirt because I didn’t want some of hormonal footballer taking advantage of you! Being in love is something else.”

“You are not mad at me?” you ask shyly.

“Of course not, you idiot. I love you more than anything, your happiness is what comes first.”

Leah rolls her eyes and reach out to you. You don’t hesitate to go in her arms, relieved by the unexpected turn of events. The nose in her hair, you whisper :

“I’m sorry for keeping things away from you.”

“It’s ok” Leah says softly, squeezing you a little harder. “I’m sorry you were in so much pain.”

She kisses your cheek and let you go, not without taking you by the shoulders to have a better look at you.

“We are going to make things better between you and Caitlin now, if it’s really what you want. Ok?”

“I’m not sure she’s still interested. She really is mad at me.” you shrug.

“Please. She told me I’m the wrong Williamson, if she doesn’t take you back, I’ll send her back to Sydney.”

********

When Caitlin wakes up almost three hours later, the sun was gone and the room is almost in the dark. There is a small light on the nightstand, and she needs some seconds to remember where she is and why her leg is hurting like hell. She groans and try to roll on her side, her back sore to have been in the same position for hours now. But her leg hurts more, and she opens her eyes, grimacing slightly.

Then she sees you and froze several seconds.

You were already looking at her, like you were doing since you entered the room. She doesn’t seem really peaceful while sleeping and your heart hurt to see her in pain.

“Hi” you whisper, in case her head is hurtful.

“Did I really told your sister than I’m in love with you or was I dreaming?”

You look at her several seconds, trying to see in her eyes if she’s stressed or anxious before answering.

“You ask her to tell me that you love me, but I guess it’s the same thing.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok” you say, coming closer to the bed. “It’s not what bother me now. How are you feeling?”

“Ok, I guess. Thanks god we are at the end of the season. The doctor said I will be ok to play for the Olympics.”

“That’s a good new”

Caitlin hums and you look at your hands, lost in your thoughts. It’s maybe a good think that she hasn’t ask you for now to get out of her room, but you chose not to push your luck too much.

“I uh, I’ll let you in peace now. I wrote to your mother and your sister to reassure them, but Beth came with your phone and other stuff like one hour ago” you explain while getting up. “You can write to them if you want to.”

“Oh… No wait, please. Can you stay? Just a little bit?”

You hesitate for several seconds, looking at Caitlin before answering anything. You want to stay, of course. You finally slowly sit down again on the chair.

“Thanks” she mumbles. “Look, about what I said to Leah…”

“It’s ok” you say again, shrugging. “She isn’t mad.”

“No?”

You shake your head, playing with your nails and fingers without looking at her. Caitlin knows how much Leah means for you so you’re pretty sure that she would have feel guilty if Leah was mad at you.

“Is she not mad because she knows that we are no longer together, or would she have been even if we were still together?”

“I think she would have been ok. If that was the case.”

You hear Caitlin takes a deep and big breath, making you look at her. You can’t read the feeling on her face, so you are happy to see her talking again. You don’t know what behavior you can have with her now, are you still able to ask her all the questions you want?

“I don’t know how to say that” Caitlin sighs. “But is there a chance that we maybe try to make things better between us?”

“Better like in being friends again?”

You see Caitlin rolling her eyes and you understand quickly that you haven’t guess right. You are surprised to see a small smile on her face despite the situation you are in.

“How can you be so clever when it’s about your company and so obvious when it concerns relationships?”

You roll your eyes too, used to being criticized about your lack of ease in human relations when they do not concern your job.

“Yes, because you are the most sociable and none-shy person in the world yourself.”

“Touché.”

There is a silence, during which you are looking at each other.

“Can you forgive me for running away the other day?” Caitlin asks softly.

“Only if you forgive me for believing during all this time that my sister wouldn’t accept our relationship and how I was wrong.”

She smiles again and you smile back at her. You get up when she asks you to sit next to her by patting the bed next to her. That place being the other side of her injured leg, you oblige.

“I don’t know how explain how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have left like this.”

“I get it. It wasn’t a pleasant situation. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or anything.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I am too” you whisper.

After one second of hesitation, you put your head on her shoulder, and you close your eyes when she put her chin on your head.

“So, what now that Leah knows?” Caitlin asks.

To be honest, you don’t really know. Today was a lot of feelings to deal with and you don’t even know where to start. Your girlfriend (?) seems to understand what is happening in your head, because she kisses tenderly your temple before talking.

“What about I get out from here first?”

“That sounds good” you smile softly. “And from here, you come right to mine so I can take care of you.”

“Perfect.”

You watch the Aussie laying down on the bed and you turn on your side to be able to look at her better. With your finger, you are tracing random patterns on her arm. You know that she’s falling asleep but you need to ask the question.

“Cait?”

“Mh?” she answers, without opening her eyes.

“Are we back together? Like, are you my girlfriend again?”

She snorts and snuggle closer from you, already half-asleep.

“Yes we are. Weirdo.”

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso one shot #caitlin foord imagine #caitlin foord x reader #caitlin foord #leah williamson #leah williamson imagine

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babyspacegay · 1 month

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Armandaniel rec list

Hello freaks and freak-adjacent! I thought it might be a cool idea to put together a little rec list of IWTV fics that I feel could be a good intro/primer to the Devil's Minion pairing for people who are fans of the show and Armandaniel-curious.

Of course my preferences won't be universal (I'm not a major gore/heavy angst girlie), so feel free to reblog with your own recs ;)

Here's my two favorite post-Dubai fics, with what a lot of the fandom imagines happens with Armand's disappearance/Daniel's turning/book shenanigans:

you ate me right up (you spit me back out) by oceaniads (M, 6.6k)

In the aftermath of Louis and Armand’s explosive divorce, Daniel manages to leave the Dubai penthouse unscathed and very much human. Now, the only thing he has to worry about is releasing the damn book and stopping people from calling it fiction. It is not fiction. There’s also the matter of the vampire following him around America, because apparently he needs a bodyguard and Armand is the right guy for the job. That’s just something Daniel will have to roll with.

eighty proof and a lifetime by doztoevsky (M, 11k)

It’s just - anticlimactic. New York Times Bestselling Blue Balls of a conclusion to the Armand of it all. He can picture the pierced graduate students at his indie bookstore readings now; their dubious, unsatisfied frowns of so, what, he just sat there? And you just left?

Here's a Daniel character study that I just really like:

krapp’s last tape by zoop (E, 4.5k)

It’s 2022, he’s in Dubai, and Daniel Molloy’s life is flashing before his eyes. Mostly, he’s irritated by the goddamn cliché of it all. The indignity not only of dying, but of having the whole of his life laid bare, his memories to be perused at the leisure of the sick psychotic fuck currently pinning him to the floor.

And finally, my actual favorites, two incredibly formatted social media fics that are absolutely amazing and hilarious (and canon as far as I'm concerned):

bloodsucker, famefucker by brewrosemilk (T, 3.7k)

☁️✨ (@babymoonlight): i’m so sorry i ever made fun of you mr vampire lestat lesander de lioncourt i love u i hope louis kisses ur lil head and tucks you in under a blanket u deserve the world idc ama 🍣 (@lilsushiroll): he should still die imo vamp stan idc 🦷 (aloevampita): he’s already dead keep UP you look like an idiot someone already went nom nom on his neck centuries ago you’re too late

The Great Daniel Molloy Discourse of 2024/25 by Siria (T, 3.5k)

The internet has opinions about Daniel Molloy’s Interview with the Vampire (2024).

#iwtv #armandaniel #devil’s minion #devils minion #interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #iwtv fic #iwtv fanfiction #fic rec #dm #mine

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adhdprincess · 4 months

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TLOU rec-list for fics with less than 100 kudos!

If you don't have much time to read, rebloging is a great way to show support. Let's uplift these talented fic writers!

Cuddle up with some Fluff

Rest - 3k words, Joel gets sick in Jackson. It's filled to the brim with lots of banter and sweet family-shaped moments. Also, Ellie doesn't live in the shed!

New Seasons - 5k words, Outside of Jackson, Joel gets a migraine. Ellie takes care of him and it’s just so sweet. I have a cavity, guys 🥹 Both by: ABeckoningCat, @inherstars on Tumblr

bear with me - 700 words, Ellie spots a bear outside the walls of Jackson. Joel’s reactions are funny as hell. By: @bearrycool on Ao3 and Tumblr

if i could give you the moon - 4.5k words, 10-year-old Ellie meets Riley. Fluffy shenanigans ensue, wrapped up in a beautiful ending. Happy belated fic-erversary! By: @becomethesun on Ao3 and Tumblr

When the Party's Over - 2k words, Ellie attends a party in Jackson, but her anxiety takes over. Hurt/comfort vibes? Check! Fluff and angst? Double check! By: @paigegonerogue on Ao3 and Tumblr

Tear your heart out with Angst

Dear Shadow, Alive and Well(WIP) - 30k words, A gritty, immersive multi-chapter set after Ellie, Tommy, and Dina return from Seattle. The prose, the imagery, and the dialogue are all BEAUTIFUL! This story has killed me. @wicked--loving--lies I'm throwing you all of the virtual flowers!! 💐 By: Wickedlovinglies, @wicked--loving--lies on Tumblr

Arsonist's Lullaby - 4.5k, A character study of Joel and his relationship with anger. The angst had me clawing at the floor. The writing is AMAZING! By: fae_the_gay27

think I’ll miss you forever… - 1.5k words, A character study of Ellie after the major character death in TLOU2. Beautiful prose and I think I’ll cry actually 😭. By: @crystalflys on Ao3 and Tumblr

March 2, 2038 (tw gore) - 1.5k words, Might be the saddest fic I’ve ever read, but the angst is so good. This takes place right after the major death in TLOU2. By: Three_kittens_in_a_trench_coat

Journey through these AUs!

sangfroid - 3k words, Joel and Tess have an oops baby and it's Ellie. This is so beautiful and has an awesome twist at the end. By: Glitter_Gecko, @seethesunny on Tumblr

Calamity's Child - 10k words, An AU where Joel is a trans man set after the events of TLOU1. It’s very fluffy with a good helping of angst and so well written! By: Fiachra, @consultingzoologist on Tumblr

Ashes denote that Fire was(WIP) - 3.5k words, A firefighter🔥 AU. Ellie is feral, Joel is bewildered, and Tess is a banter queen. This AU is such a fun read! By: @bumblepony on Ao3 and Tumblr

Roll for Halloween Hijacks - 5.5k words, On Halloween, in a no-outbtreak AU, Joel joins Ellie and her friends to play a tabletop game. It’s so fluffy and communal and everyone is alive! By: MichiMe, @freetobeyouandmichi-me on Tumblr & @marceltheshellwithflipflopson on Ao3 and Tumblr

If you read a story and enjoy, consider leaving a comment! Writers love encouraging comments, even if it's just a heart emoji ❤️.

This rec-list is here to uplift the wonderful writing community in this fandom. Please share this around to show support for writers!

Thanks to @saradika-graphics for the divider!

#community day #Not adding a self promo because of SHAME #feel free to add to this list #fic rec #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfic #the tipsy bison #tlou joel #tlou ellie #tlou fanfiction #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou fan fiction

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winchestersheaven · 5 months

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Smowkie recs McShep

i've been reading a lot of McShep fics lately and a while back i mentioned that i had plans to make a couple of fic rec posts. they're taking me forever to make, but here's the first one, finally!

@wonkyelk was one of the first authors i found, and i've read and loved SO MANY of their fics! wonderful author that made me fall head over heels for the pining!John and oblivious!Rodney trope! 💖

this is by no means an exhaustive list of the fics i loved from them, it's just a small number of the ones i read and enjoyed. my biggest recommendation with this author is to just go read their fics, it's great stuff and their language is delightful.

so here goes, in no particular order:

19 McShep fics by WonkyElk (under the cut, because this got long)

Of Sealing Wax and String 3562 words | Teen author's tags: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, POV Rodney McKay summary:

Rodney had never had so much love in his life that he wasn't desperate to catch all the drops that he could.

Smowkie: there are too many things that i love in this to mention them all, so i'll just add my favorite quote from the fic: "[...] a thoughtful look, albeit one squarely aimed at the floor, which was hardly likely to appreciate it." 💖

You’re the Book That I Have Opened 1834 words | Teen author's tags: Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Character Study, Angst with a Happy Ending, Short, Internalized Homophobia summary:

At eighteen, John Sheppard had known a lot of things. He knew how to dance, with exactly the right level of polite formality. He knew how to ride well and the proper care of a horse. He knew everything about the theory and mathematics of flight. He knew that being a fighter pilot was the absolute dream of his life. And he knew - knew - that he wasn't into guys.

Smowkie: lovely thing, chock-full of John feels, and with this quote: "They sat in silence for a while. Silence was something John could do. It never came out awkward or wrong, you could never blurt out unintentional silence, or get your bits of silence all mixed up and taken out of context." brb, crying about John Sheppard.

How to Disappear Completely 7276 words | Teen author's tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Temporary Character Death, Feelings Realization, POV Alternating summary:

"Look, I know you don’t know me and you’re not aware of the fact that, if you knew I was missing - which you don’t, because I never existed and, even if I did, you wouldn’t have met me yet - then you’d be very, very upset about it … but I really need your help. And, actually, so does the universe."

Smowkie: this one is amazing! mild horror warning for the creepiness in the beginning, that was some well written discomfort! also, so much love the fantastic way WonkyElk chose to show Rodney's mood and vulnerability 💖

New Every Day 2047 words | Gen author's tags: Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Angst, Short, POV John Sheppard, Character Study summary:

Sometimes it seemed like he had to relearn emotions, over and over again.

Smowkie: this one! what a lovely thing. all the John feels. i want to add a couple of quotes here too, but they're right at the end so i'm not doing that, sadly. i can quote "Especially Rodney" though, because especially Rodney 💖

Some Misunderstanding 6193 words | Teen author's tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Human Experimentation, First Kiss, POV Alternating summary:

The path to Ascension was not a smooth one.

Smowkie: this one! UNCOMFY. really really good with a very interesting style, but oof, uncomfy! love it!

All You Need is … 1830 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst summary:

The thing about love was, that it wasn't enough. It might fill you up and set you alight and hug you close and tear your heart out and pet you gently and hang like a slow-dragging weight around your neck: but, for all of its bullying and grandstanding, it skipped right over all the practical things and let you scramble around to fix those up - or not - as best you might; but definitely with none of its assistance.

Smowkie: this made me all mushy inside, it was great 💖

Flowers and Other Ambiguities 1289 words | Gen author's tags: Pre-Slash, Character Study, POV John Sheppard, Short, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay summary:

The field was blossoming in such rich dark blues and purples, with an underlying green, that John was irresistibly put in mind of the ocean, his feet lightly stepping over the water, mindful of the lurking creatures of the deep.

Smowkie: this one holds a special place in my heart. it was one of the first McShep fics i read and it's what really sold me on the pining!John and oblivious!Rodney trope. it's such a wonderful fic, and the pining, man the pining 💖

But Soft … 1645 words | Teen author's tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe - College/University, Theatre, Short summary:

"I'm just suggesting, John, that, perhaps your speeches about Juliet, should not be notably less impassioned than your banter with Mercutio."

Smowkie: i’m generally not interested in AUs for McShep, but i had enjoyed so much from WonkyElk that i read this anyway, and BOY am i glad i did, because i adored this!

Not Early, But Not Too Late 810 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Realisations, Getting Together, First Kiss summary:

Rodney finally learns the language.

Smowkie: this is just lovely 💖

A Matter of Mugs 2959 words | Teen author's tags: Post-Canon, Break Up, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Oblivious Rodney McKay summary:

Rodney's emotional levels were generally at critical, but, right now, they were straining the banks and spoiling for a flood of world-drowning proportions. This wasn't because of a crisis, nor even anything so petty and ordinary as a mid-life crisis - not that Rodney was old enough for that, slap bang in the very prime of life as he was and intended to remain - but more of a build up of small things and not-so small things, stacking up awkwardly on top of each other and wobbling under the pressure and the terrible engineering choices.

Smowkie: this is a wonderful read, and i love how John comes first for Rodney long before he realizes his feelings for him. also Rodney and Jeannie bonding 💖 (to clarify the break-up tag: i've chosen not to add relationship tags in this post since all fics are McShep, but this fic has both the John/Rodney and the Jennifer/Rodney relationship tags, and the break-up tag is for Jennifer/Rodney)

One Stroke of The Moon 1378 words | Gen author's tags: Short, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, Light Angst, Team as Family summary:

When the Avarro moon hangs lowest in the sky, ripe and full - so bright and summoning that your head becomes full of it and nothing else exists - then it is, that some climb to the very top of the trees, stretch out their hands and their hopes and touch her on the belly, with a reverent stroke. Those that touch the moon in this way are never the same afterwards. Nor would they want to be.

Smowkie: this is such a lovely thing. the team’s loyalty and love to Rodney is just 💖

A Staff, A Spear 2179 words | Teen author's tags: Character Study, Angst, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Short, POV John Sheppard summary:

For a time, he had no memory, no self; no pain. Until the sunshine cooled in his blood and the wine left him with a sigh, like a ghost, and his whole personality fell back inside him, with a thump. It was so heavy, being himself again, he could almost have cried.

Smowkie: the fic that made me make this post. this one really hits you smack in the face with John feels. it's heartbreaking and painful in the best of ways. 💖

Setting Parameters 4545 words | Teen author's tags: Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Virtual Reality, POV Alternating summary:

It absolutely wasn’t a holodeck.

Smowkie: i love a good holodeck disaster story, but this is so much more than just that, and i adore it. the McShep relationship especially, but also Teyla (and Ford too) 💖 much love! and my favorite quote: They rested against each other when they were done, in a way which, to the laymen’s mind, might very easily be confused with snuggling. guys, come on... xD 💖

A Pair of Shadows 2090 words | Teen author's tags: POV Outsider, Rodney and John are Stuck Together, Fluff summary:

John and Rodney become joined at the hip. This is not metaphorical.

Smowkie: glorious outsider POV fic 💖

Opposite to Blue 1459 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Character Study, References to Depression, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Sheppard summary:

The first time that John had met Rodney McKay he had been brightly, regrettably, orange.

Smowkie: more John feels 💖 Rodney is such a sweetheart in this, and he pretty much killed me with the quote "the wiggly thing your voice did when you called me" 💖

A Sufficiency of Freedom 1342 words | Teen author's tags: Character Study, Short, Light Angst, Pining John Sheppard, Oblivious Rodney McKay, POV John Sheppard summary:

From time to time, people had asked John why he loved to fly.

Smowkie: this has such great imagery, a beautiful insight in John's mind 💖

An Anchor in the Mist 1620 words | Teen author's tags: Short, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, First Kiss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Sheppard summary:

Sometimes, when he was back on Earth, John would look around at the colours, the brightness, the busyness - the sheer number of people, the surrealism of it all - and wonder if it was actually real.

Smowkie: THIS ONE! i adore this one. it's John feels again, and it's hurt/comforty and angsty and sweet and loving and painful and happy and just beautiful. i want to live in this one 💖

To silent ash 1529 words | Teen author's tags: Angst and Feels, Post-Canon, Sad summary:

Dear Jeannie…

Smowkie: ah, pain. it's beautiful and so very sad. read the author's note before the fic and decide if you want the spoilers or not, but either way it's worth it imo, i loved it

Accepting a Complement 1433 words | Gen author's tags: Short, Feelings, working out a relationship summary:

He wasn't sure exactly when he and Sheppard had become 'those two' or 'you two' or 'that pair' to so many people. But, now that the phrase had jumped up and bit him, so to speak, he was very aware that he had heard it too many times to count.

Smowkie: this fic made me feel in love with McShep. i mean, i guess i am in love with McShep, that's sorta how i ship, i see something and fall in love. but this fic, yeah, it brought it out so much that i was just a mess reading it, the whole thing; giddy, grinning, the stomach thing that feels a lot like anxiety but isn't. yeah, i love this one, it made me so happy 💖

#Smowkie talks #McShep #fic recs #fic rec #WonkyElk

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fantomette22 · 1 year

Note

I know how to make Laurence even worse, listen:

Okay so, I think Laurence only condoned Logarius and Executioners to do Cainhurst massacre AFTER Maria's suic1de, because he knew darn well she'd cause a problem in his plan to eliminate Vilebloods (and get Umbilical Cord from Annalise). But what if!!!!!

What if Laurence COULD absolutely see Maria's suic1dal urges coming... and he LET that happen. He LET those feelings fester and bloom, he LET the doctors (Micolash maybe?????) go too hard on Adeline with experiments and cause her to give out, he LET Gehrman, the one person that could have helped to be oblivious about Maria's mental state..... pulling strings from the shadows - or not doing anything - in the ways that'd push her towards the edge, so the "problem" removes itself

Sorry, I had to share this because everyone else should suffer with me, lol. Have a good day 👍

Oh my...the ANGST !!!!!! 😭 the drama!!! LAURENCE WHY !?

Can you stop screwing people's life (and your own)... FOR 5 MINS !!!!!

Ok thanks for the ask, thanks to it I will take the occasion to finally share my headcanons about how I see their relationship across the years >:) (main headcanon, fic verse if you prefer).

So i already explain, (i think), but for me, Laurence is an extremely nuanced character. I mean by this that i don’t think he’s the ultimate devil yet but i don’t think he’s just an only poor mew mew misguided guy either, who was trap in smt out of his control. Nah for me he’s kinda a mixt/ more nuanced character who evolve a lot during his life.

So now i will share my headcanons with his relationship with Maria. Not many people talk about it and most of the takes i see are well not mine. But we don’t have much in canon so i can understand it’s tricky to imagined. But! Maria ended working at the research hall right ? (That she was in charge or under the doctors is another pb) but that mean that well there’s a connection. She joined and fight for the Healing church too! And worked with them! Hide the biggest secrets of them and Byrgenwerth! It’s not nothing! It’s s huge!

So i think at first their relationship was quite great at first! Then it spiraled down…

Let’s cut it with Byrgenwerth time, the hunter/early church era and post fishing hamlet so it’s simpler (respectively the 3fics i try to planned xD)

Byrgenwerth :

So Maria was a student here and Laurence basically one of her teachers. He’s a chill, cool and young teacher, Maria like him and think his classes are the most interesting.

Laurence had quite a harsh time on his first years studying at Byrgen so he try to be attentive to the need of his students. (He always check on Caryll, Rom etc or ask like Gehrman to check and tell him if he noticed smt weird)

Maria who don’t really have much friends at the beginning and is really often alone remind him a lot of himself at first.

But yeah funniest shit how Gehrman become close acquaintance with Maria almost the exact same way he become close acquaintance with Laurence all this years ago xD (i won’t say more about it but Laurence was quite surprised)

So anyway times pass it’s going smoothly and all the Byrgen gang hang around each other more and more (outside class too)

Maria and Caryll are still amazed that Laurence was the coolest bio and theology teacher because of what he could do when drunk xD that man was crazy (spoiler he got more serious but he become worse lol)

Also Laurence maybe accidentally save her life by giving her a free blood vial 💀(Willem don’t agree with that but he doesn’t need to know lol and hey it helped)

And later when blood was stolen from Cainhurst and Maria was completely clueless and confused he advocated for her with Gehrman. (+ advocate to cainhurst so she could stay with them + let’s be real it was first to get money to emancipate himself from Byrgen xD)

---

So a bit later when the first hunts begins? (Or a bit before idk).

Well before Laurence became a grand Vicar with tons of responsibility they all pass times as friends ! Like this yeah xD)

He gave her a freaking chalice for her exploit in the labyrinth and a blood transfusion wow!

Also i think he converted her to religion. (Or at least their religion)

Ok Let me explain. I don’t think Cainhurst are super religious? I think they’re closer to the 2.0 pthumerians. You know before the great ones were their leaders/ gods. Then they disappear and the pthumerians crown leader of their own : aka pthumerians queens and all. I think cainhurst is similar in that sense, at first. And i need to show how Laurence managed to got so many followers !

Maria’s a pyromancer and he learnt about it at some point. Quite funny how he found out even if he was suspicious of smt xD)

Maria hate that aspect of her bc she don’t want to be like the shadow of Yharnam and use her blood to hurt and kill people because smn told her to (aka royal family) she always resent that aspect of her.

Laurence think it’s incredible, that it’s a gift from the great ones! But That she could use how she want, if she want. She could used it to protect the great ones they’re looking for instead ! It’s way closer and prefer that.

That’s a big part on why she joined the healing church.

Also Laurence is this good religious figure that people follow and look for validation and the church was the guardian of the hunters after all.

---

So after the hamlet… when everything went down…

Laurence became to change even more after that. Even after he became vicar maybe he got a lil messiah complex + begin to dissociate with lot of things & people but it got worst.

Especially after our lil group loose smn quite important to them… Laurence loose it and instead of « oh maybe we should stop or be more careful so it won’t happen again » he’s like : « ok we need to make sacrifice to ascend. Let’s do it » he was one of most affected by it but… in a bad way he completely dissociated and was more and more antipathetic. He was already ok with sacrificing you know sick people, who are gonna turned into a beast anyway but a friend? Oh well… he decided he won’t go back.

While Maria spiraled more and more down…he always had reassuring words but at some points and didn’t work greatly. And her, who never question the church really begin to wonder if everything worth it. What if what they’re doing is bad and useless? + she begin to cause trouble and confront Laurence about it. He was really annoyed… at some points he even ask Gehrman to do smt about it. Anything he wanted so she would chilled out and calmed down… the hunter was really confused 💀(and freaking tired too)

So Maria and Laurence relationship become more complicated.

About the Vilebloods too… first they were allies and before Maria died they ended up fighting each others. She had to stop them in front of the grand cathedral from fighting 💀 so not good either… relations were really tense… but the massacre happened 10-20y later in my timeline so

Then what happened happened… Maria killed herself and reasearch hall was a huge mess in part bc of this. (Patients revolt and a part were already dead)

Laurence was quite shock… really. And confused. But other feel sadder of course. But he was still touched by it. A bit. It remind him that they might make the sacrifce to loose close ones. But then he needed to clean all this big messes and send a letter to cainhurst That was not a good time for him either. Still he move on. Not like one of his friends… (another story)

So there. Hope i don’t forget anything but it’s a good summary for now.

#bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons #lady maria of the astral clocktower #laurence the first vicar #i have so much thoughts on a few realationships!!!

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creedslove · 1 year

Note

LOVE LOVE LOVE HOW UR BUILDING UP THE PLOT!!!!

Loved part 3 so much!!!!!! <333

I just hope you don’t rush with the story, you’re an amazing writer I am so impressed, I usually only see smut or the storyline doesn’t resonate or feels forced. The fact that for once you’re giving so much thought into this, you’re building the anticipation, you have gotten us rooting for the reader, even if you write 100 parts of the story I know it’ll all be amazing because you’re great at delivering !!

For a long time I was looking for a fic with Pedro x reader but writers only choose his characters from shows/movies. I wonder what made you think to start writing about him and not his characters?

Take care writer, you’re putting amazing work out here, we love uuuuu <3

🤍🩶🤍🩶🤍

thank you so much anon, your words are motivating and really sweet! ❤️💖

I don't think I'll rush any chapters I mean, all the chapters were absolutely not planned, I wrote Betrayed as an one shot but people got into it and asked for a part two, which brought a part three, then part four and five (that's being written right now) I have absolutely no idea how many chapters we still have ahead, I just hope I won't go into any writer's block because I'm really enjoying this story and the ideas come naturally and when they don't, I get lots of amazing anon suggestions to work on, so I feel really lucky, to see people are actually invested.

I'm happy you are enjoying it, when I write a story, I try to write something interesting it would catch my attention and I would read it if I someone else had written it, you know what I mean? And I've always loved angst with happy endings, but I like the build up more than the ending when it's done properly and I noticed there's a lot Pedro stories that are rushed to the happy ending, which I don't blame because honestly who wouldn't want to live happily ever after with that man lmao and he is all the time a ray of sunshine to reader which I also enjoy because it brings us comfort when we read it but I thought to myself: what if he is just a normal guy who screws up like everyone else and is too stubborn to admit it? And people enjoyed that portrait! And we all project ourselves into reader, just like I said in another ask, in my mind reader is me just like she is you when you reader and so on, so we honestly just root for ourselves to be strong enough to fend for ourselves no matter how hot Pedro is while breaking our heart 😂😂😂

And the main reason why I began writing about Pedro is because I got into him because of him and not his characters. I had never watched anything he was on and I always saw people gushing about him on Twitter but never got the fuss about it, until about a month or so when whenever I logged on Instagram random pictures or reels of him would show up in my suggestions. I would usually ignore them until I came across that one where he talks about how people usually pronounce 'Pedro' and then he tells the interviewer his full name, using his beautiful accent and as I study Spanish I just LOVED the sound of that. Then other videos of him would appear and I would send them to my friend who really loves him because it reminded me of her. So I went from this guy isn't that ugly to he's not ugly at all to holy shit he's very handsome.

But the cherry on top was about three weeks ago I was going through a rough time where my immune system wasn't great or whatever and I was constantly sick, I had been sick for over a month before that and each week I would have a different problem lol and that week i was again sick and it just drained me emotionally because i was feeling so weak and all the antibiotics I took made me feel physically bad as well and my work schedule was hectic as always, long story short I was a walking corpse that week until I began dreaming about him at night.

The first time I dreamed about Pedro, it was silly but also really sweet, I dreamed I was at the mall, running some errands and with my headphones on, then the song 'Otro día que va' by RBD began playing and I sang along to it and it caught his attention because it was in Spanish so he made small talk and we began chatting, then he invited me for lunch and it was adorable because it was kinda a lunch day. So when I woke up I felt so happy and comforted about the dream and the following nights I also dreamed about him, he was always so sweet in flirty in my dreams and we spoke a lot of Spanish that spiced up things a little bit lol and by the end of the week I already had a massive crush on him, lol

But I wrote for one of his characters: Javier Peña because he makes me feel things™ and I'll probably write more when inspiration comes, just like I'll probably write for Joel Miller in the future because he also makes me feel things™ but so far, my main focus is nuestro dulce pedrito porque lo amo 💖

Thanks a lot anon, your ask was amazing and don't forget the only reason I write it's because of you all and how amazing and support of my work you all are!

❤️❤️❤️

#ask #answered #pedro #pascal

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forabeatofadrum · 2 years

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The first El WooWoo of the year! And as the banner says, I’m still reading instead of writing. So here we go. Buckle up, Klainers and ... Snovians (???? is there a name for Snowbaz shippers? This is just Simon. Snowbazzians?) (What would you call Baz fans? Bazzies?).

I am really enjoying these fic rec posts, more than I thought. It also motivates me to read more, which is a win-win. I do have some ideas for Ljubim te again, so I think I’ll start writing them soon. But maybe I will make a separate post for fics, aside from Wip Wednesday and Six Sentence Sunday? Fic Rec Friday?

ANYWAY, buckle up, it’s a long post, so the entire rec + tags will be under cut today!

Some non-fic recs first. Some? One, actually. I am rereading my Kickstarter books for Check, Please! in preparation for the delivery of the Year 4 Kickstarter. I... uh... asked the shipping costs for that campaign as a Christmas gift. But God yeah, I love this webcomic so much. Time to get back to the SMH (Samwell Meme’s Hockey Team).

Up to the fics!

@martsonmars wrote a fic about “consensual biting” between 6 years old: Love Bite. It’s adorable. I love how silly kids can be. And I am a bitch for fics where Lucy lives 😭!

I am catching up on The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow by @confused-bi-queer. I last read chapter 5, and [Jason Mendoza voice] oh Simon and Baz, we’re really in it now. I am upsetti spaghetti.

I am still riding the angst train right into Is It Over Yet? by @jayne89. God I really wish Carmen was actually this good, instead of a plot device for Rachel’s.... uhm... questionable storylines. Really excited for more of this verse.

God, I am really going through it, huh? @thnxforknowingme wrote a 2022 fic in review where she mentioned True Colors, a character study of Quinn between season 2 and 3, and I like the premise. I really enjoyed it. Damn, skank!Quinn had so much potential, but RIB just had to do the wack baby storyline.

This isn’t Jenna’s only fic that I have read. I finally, finally read Miles To Go, and I know a fic this wonderful should have a long and coherent comment, but I am just speechless. So utterly speechless. I started it when it was originally posted, but I had just lost my grandmother and yeah it was the wrong time. Now, we got the message that it’s time for my uncle to collect her ashes. Weird way to go back to a fic, but that’s what happened, and this fic tugged at my heartstrings. I definitely recommend it to everyone.

Also, more Jenna stuff, but insert the Chris Fleming meme here. Was no one ever going to tell me that Jenna has written Hades fic, or was I just supposed to find out by browsing through her AO3 by myself? Aíma.... YOOOO. The relation between Zaggie and blood? Jenna, your mind!

More sad shit? More sad shit! @wellbelesbian really made me say FUCK THE MAGE with the latest chapter of blow on the tinder. Guys, this is such a good fic. Alex, I am so glad you’re continuing it!

Okay, okay, whooo, time out with the angst. @redheadgleek‘s Pierce My Soul is a fluffy gem and I am a bitch for costume crew!Kurt. Although he got promoted here and he designed the costumes, including Blaine’s. There are so many great gems in this fic, but I lost it at Brad Ellis being the piano man. And when the fic mirrored dialogue from the show.... my heart!

I definitely boarded the fluff train now. I saw @letraspal‘s art for @skeedelvee‘s Drunken Kisses. I am all 🥺🥺🥺🥺 about this fic. Simon “He Is Plotting” Snow is amazing. Mix it with Baz “Gay Yearning” Pitch and voila!

@facewithoutheart delves into Simon’s sad childhood, but in a fluffy way, in What I Wouldn’t Give. Simon gets his first plushie and we all cry. I am such a bitch for this concept and Christina helpfully linked to another one, namely to @lifewithoutmotivation‘s Flamey. I am just overwhelmed on Simon’s behalf! This guy deserves all the gifts and birthday parties! (Also, congrats on the new URL!)

And we’re going to end this rec post with more holiday cheers from the holiday queers (really, did anyone watch The New Normal?) with @1908jmd‘s Klaine Advent 2022 - With their favourite people. Jen did a true drabble challenge and all the snippets are about the people in Kurt and Blaine’s lives and look I just got very emo over it.

If you’ve already been tagged in a rec, consider that a tag for WIP Wednesday (or Six Sentence Sunday). Also tagging @quizasvivamos @crissmastrees-and-candyklaines @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

#the plushie thing makes me emo i also have a similar story for it for my SJAEU #tagged in #wip wednesday

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kingofbodyrolls · 6 months

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BTS fic recs: March 2024

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs 🙂

[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | 💜 (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.

⭐Mistletoe @belovedkingx [9.3k] // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, f2l // 🥰🥵

📝 christmas is all about spending time with the ones you love, having fun and creating beautiful memories but that was never how it turned out for you. You were dreading the annual family Christmas, but an idea was proposed to you, and shockingly Namjoon agreed to it as well as yourself. But will it help or will it turn out to be a mistake?

🗨️ this was just so cute 🥹🥰

⭐Holiday Shambles @ressjeon [5k] // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, married!au // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 when you have to spend time with both your parents and Namjoon’s snobby ones for this Christmas, you’re forced to show the best version of you even knowing what’s to come. you’re ready, right? after all, you’re the best wife aren’t you?

🗨️ this is so hilarious, cute and sweet 🥹 Loved it✨

⭐New Guy @kithtaehyung [5k] // knj x f.reader // university!au, e2l // 🥵

📝 all you want to do is have a successful meeting after experiencing dwindling attendance. but the new guy is completely disrupting things… or is he?

🗨️ so many feels about this one; all good and dirty ones!!! I had a feeling about the twist but I wasn’t sure. But I would very much love for a Joonie in grey joggers to knock on my door please 🥺🤭 Anyway, it was extremely good, as is everything you do and write! And it was so fucking HOT, like the tension, incredible! It really had me 🥵 So, so fucking good— love it 💖💯

⭐Entirety @btsgotjams27 [3.3k] // knj x f.reader // slice of life!au, f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 namjoon is the complete package, except for the fact that he won’t make the first move.

🗨️ AFGJFKGHLKFDHGJGKJHG— 🥵🥵🥵 Yes, I’ve resulted to key smashing because I’m speechless, but I’ll try to give a few words anyway: first, this was incredibly hot, I can’t even begin to articulate properly, and the writing, like I’m a so in love with the writing, like the language is so descriptive and imaginative that I can clearly imagine every little fucking detail— and the words? Well they just flow seamlessly! ✨

⭐My Plus One @btsgotjams27 [5.4k] // ksj x f.reader // fake dating!au, i2l // 🥰🌩️

📝 when you and jin have weddings to attend, you decide to help one another by agreeing to being each other's plus ones.

🗨️ It was so sweet, it was cute and fluffy and so damn funny! Like there were so many times I was just laughing with the biggest grin plastered on my face. So thank you, thank you for writing this and for cheering me up ✨💯

⭐Meet Me at the Bar [epilogue] @eoieopda [7.5k] // ksj x f.reader // law school!au, study buddies, bf2l // 🥰😂🥵

📝 you're supposed to be staring down the barrel of the last — and most important — examination of your life, but you only have eyes for your study buddy.

🗨️ omg these two cute fools are so fucking adorable 😭 It was really good, loved everything in it, the writing, the characters and how they have been in love with each other for so long but never said anything to each other, and FINALLY, BAM ✨

⭐Forever @oddinary4bts [25.2k] // ksj x f.reader // idol!au, ex-fiancés to lovers // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again?

🗨️ so much love and sadness in this! The nostalgia is high, there’s a lot of feelings, a lot of heartbreak. The thoughts about going back for fear of getting your heart broken again, or moving on and shielding the broken pieces of heartbreak? Fuck! So fucking good. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: everything Ella writes is just pure gold 🥹✨

⭐A Time Just for Us [part of a completed series] @bluewhale52 [5.4k] // myg x f.reader // established relationship, idol!au // 🥰🥵

📝 you are desperate for a baby.

🗨️ I haven’t even read the series– like I started with this, but it was so freaking good! It was somehow cute, but very very very dirty 😂🥵

⭐Cat Cafes and More @jeonsbabygirlsworld [0.7k] // myg x f.reader // established relationship // 🥰

📝 you insist yoongi to visit the cat cafe which has cats up for adoption which ends up you adopting a white Persian cat even though you have holly with you both.

🗨️ omg this was just so fucking cute 😭💕Overall just a really cute, fluffy and lovely drabble 🥰💜

⭐Less of Them [ongoing series] @casuallyimagining [currently loading] // myg x f.reader // established relationship, arranged marriage!au, star-crossed lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰🪄

📝 as the daughter of one of the oldest families in the kingdom, when the king decides that it's you he wishes to marry, you're forced to make a decision and fulfill your duty, leaving behind everything you've ever known--and the only man you've ever loved.

🗨️ this chapter was so fucking good, I don’t even know where to begin! First, it was so sad and emotional (at least for me 😭), like OC has been through so fucking much 😭 The poor thing is traumatized and the whole paragraph about her learning the royal life that her father never could have prepared her for 😭😭😭 It’s such an amazing story, you simple have to read it if you haven’t. There’s two out of three parts out.

⭐Would u? [3tan drabble ongoing series] @kithtaehyung [2.3K] // myg x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥰

📝 you see a certain fruit-centered trend online.. and decide to test it on yoongi.

🗨️ so fucking sweet and fluffy… This was just so cute, I just love this couple and I can’t get enough of them omg 🥹 and reader being on her period and Yoongi just distracting her pain away, by naturally being himself and doing mundane things 🥹 so domestic I love it! 😭✨ And the tangerines 😭😭😭💖

⭐Strawberry Sundae @youtifulhobi [6k] // jhs x f.reader // slice of life!au, lifeguard!hobi, olympian swimmer!reader, established relationship // 🥰

📝 a few years after you begin dating Jung Hoseok, the two of you reminisce about how you met when he was a lifeguard and saved you from drowning, when in reality you had just fell off your strawberry floatie and he just wanted to talk to you.

🗨️ honestly, this is just fucking cute, adorable really! I really loved it and it’s definitely one of my favorite Hoseok fics now 🥰💯

⭐Sweetest Crush @minjoonalist [4.7k] // jhs x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵

📝 what would you do if your friend’s younger sibling suddenly asks you for sex?

🗨️ KBFKDSBFKGH it was so filthy I don’t even know what I read (also there’s just something about a brother’s best friend!!!) 🥵😂

⭐Melatonin @taeinparis [3k] // jhs x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 sleeping at night was difficult for you, and atop of your boyfriend’s lawn mower-esk snoring, it was impossible. But luckily for you, he knows just the remedy to cure your sleeplessness (and hopefully his snoring).

🗨️ Iiiih this was so dirty, I loved it 💖 there was also a dash of fluff sprinkled in there, but mainly just smut 😂 🥵✨

⭐Our ‘Get Along’ Shirt @dreamyjoons [14.2k] // pjm x f.reader // e2l // 🥵

📝 another day, another endless round of you and Jimin bickering. It’s never ending, all-consuming, and your friends have had enough. Namjoon decides to end it once and for all - with help from a shirt for squabbling toddlers.

🗨️ JFHKJSFKSDJDH— This was so fucking hilarious 😂 The sexual tension between them was SO HIGH 🥵 and when they finally snapped, oh dear God, it was so good! And the whole shit concept, so hilarious and their banter 😂 AND THE SWEAT??? I’m weak okay!! So freaking good, I loved it so much and Namjoon and the rest of the gang were just priceless. Jin at the end had me laughing so hard 🤭💯

⭐Just a Taste @yoonieper [14.2k] // pjm x f.reader // vampire!au, established relationship // 🥵🌩️😂

📝 they said having a relationship with a human wasn’t a good idea, but Jimin liked you too much to ever let that get in the way. Your relationship was beautiful, yes you didn’t know that small important detail about him being a bloodthirsty vampire, but he had it under control. That’s at least what he thought, he never would have predicted a drought….

🗨️ FUCK 😭 This was so fucking good I don’t even know where to begin??? The story in itself was so extremely good, whaaat. And Jimin was so nice, and their love for each other, so fucking pure 💜 This was an emotional rollercoaster and I fucking loved everything about it 😭 and the smut, God, it was so good— I don’t know what to say 😭 And then at the ending, the angst, fuck, I was so afraid if it was going to end just like that, but I was so glad that they found each other again 😭 This is a new favorite of mine, so good, it was slightly sad at times, like angsty, but the love that the have for each other, FUCK. So so fucking incredible 😭 Don’t mind all the crying, it’s happy tears, I promise 💖💯 Also, it’s mostly told in Jimin’s POV, which I just freaking love and it makes the story so good!!!

⭐High on Love @peachypinkygloss [6.4k] // pjm x f.reader // established relationship, racer!jimin // 🥵

📝 Jimin has once again won a race and he takes you out on a ride for the night, taking dangerous but very exciting risks. He should have expected that the rush of adrenaline in your body always turns you into a horny mess.

🗨️ I am just BLOWN AWAY by the fic– holy molly, was it dirty? Yes! Needy? Yes! Cute? Yes! Oh and the car racing, love, love, love! Like, everything in this. And the smut 🥵🥵🥵 I mean, it was so dirt and needy (yes I know I’m using the same words, lol), but FUCK. Incredible! Another ont to add to my faves ✨ And a big bonus for the phone messages, because that was fucking hot too!!! 🥵💯

⭐Bodyguard (there’s a pt 2) @yoonpobs [2.1k] // kth x f.reader // e2l, bodyguard!au // 🥵

📝 you protect taehyung from people but forget about the biggest threat. yourself.

🗨️ omg 🥵 This extremely good, so enticing and there was just all the build up sexual tension at the end— ugh! So good! 🥵 There wasn’t any smut in it, but damn it, it was still very lustful (I love those undertones). What’s not to love? It’s short, sweet and sensual ✨💯 There’s even a part two that I haven’t read yet!!!

⭐New Tricks @geniuslab [10.1k] // kth x f.reader // dog trainer!au, s2l // 🥵😂🥰

📝 when your newly adopted puppy turns out to be a lot more work than you expected, a cute dog trainer comes to the rescue. You soon become friends, but you begin to realize friendship might not be all you want.

🗨️ awww this was so fucking cute and fluff, I loved it som much 💖💯

⭐In my Head @sketchguk [8k] // kth x f.reader // college!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 taehyung’s friends love you ー adore you. they probably want to fuck you, but they’ll never admit to it. instead, they’ll push taehyung’s limits in the middle of a frat party, testing just how close they can get to you before he takes you to bed in a fit of jealousy. and maybe, just maybe, one of his friends can have a taste too (if he’s lucky).

🗨️ okay, okay. This was hella 🥵 Like WOAH, filthy, steamy and just dirty! I am so mad at Taehyung though! Like why can’t he be with OC? What is it that he can’t give her? But tbh, with the way that he’s acting, I feel like she should just get with one of his friends instead 😭 Like, it seems like Guk loves her so much, or Jimin, the little freak he was in this 🥵

⭐Gold Rush @ditttiii [4.4k] // kth x f.reader // s2l!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 kim taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. all narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is everyone’s dream. after months of sharing an elevator with the man who makes your heart race until you can scarcely breathe when the chance finally comes; are you willing to risk it all for his touch?

🗨️ OMG— I finally got to read this, and FUCK. SHIT. It is INSANELY beautiful (and sad too 🥹). But goddamn it, the love OC has for Taehyung, oh my. And the bittersweet feelings are what makes this hauntingly beautiful 💖 Again, I have a hard time coming up with words, words for how beautiful this masterpiece truly is 😭 Just— perfection 💯 Also, because it was so bittersweet, I really love the open ending, like getting to imagine whatever you like for this couple 😭💜

⭐To Give a Helping Hand (part 2) @oddinary4bts [3.1k] // jjk x f.reader // idol!au // 🥵

📝 when Jungkook finally approaches you at the gym, he realizes you’ve been wanting him just as badly as he’s been wanting you.

🗨️ In case you haven’t read part two, here’s your psa to do so right now. It’s just incredible (as everything that Ella writes, tbh ✨). OC is really being a brat in this one and JK is down baaaaaad 🥵

⭐Desire [ongoing series] pt1 + pt2 @jeonsbabygirlsworld [3k] // jjk x f.reader + myg x f.reader (ft. eunwoo) // slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 life was easy until you meet the eye candy of your life and the adventure with him is a hell of ride, but there is certain someone who seems to get hurt in this.

🗨️ It’s a very interesting story, it’s very complex and I can’t wait to read more!

⭐When Worlds Collide [ongoing series] @letjungcoook7 [currently loading…] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, slice of life!au, s2l, fuckboy!jk, virgin!reader // 🥵🌩️

📝 since your mother's passing a year ago, life has been a whirlwind. balancing your passion for ballet with a low-key presence at college, where you’re the top student, was your norm until Jungkook stepped into your world. known for his reputation preceding him, jungkook is the talk of the campus with his casual rendezvous that have the girls buzzing. despite his allure, you're puzzled by his need for your tutoring prowess, especially given his own academic merit. yet, succumbing to his persistent requests, you reluctantly agree, only to find yourself thrust into the spotlight you've always avoided.

🗨️ I’ve read the first two parts and they are AMAZING! The story is so interesting and I already know that there’s so much more to Jungkook and OC in this one. So exciting to read more!! ❤️‍🔥

⭐Liquor Lips @letjungcoook7 [1.5k] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵

📝 author didn’t write a summary.

🗨️ it was incredible good, like I want to read more (it’s not a series though!). It’s the perfect dirty little one-shot/drabble ❤️‍🔥

This month was really tough for me, mentally… I struggled with my own mental health and it got really bad. I was writing my major series (18 chapters god what was I thinking 😂) at the same time (still am lol), and I struggled with reading as I used to, so the list isn’t as long as normally, maybe, I did try to read a lot by the end of the month to make up for it. But yeah 🫶 Hopefully I have more time next month, because I expect to finish my series there, and then I’ll take a small break from writing and just read, because I really miss it 🥹

If you want more, you’re more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan).

Love you and Borahae 💜

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ash-and-starlight · 3 years

Note

would love to know some of your zukka fic recs if you feel like sharing!

LMAOO THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

ok obligatory intro, this is not a comprehensive list of works because it would honestly truly get too long (and also bc I forgot some, rip) but if someone feels like adding their own recs it's more than welcome!! second I'm trying to keep it to just one fic per author but PLEASE extend the rec to every one of these authors' works bc I promise it's worth it.

without further ado besties let's get into it (under the cut bc despite my best intentions it got embarrassingly long)

- A predictable story by mindbending 7k words, rated G "That lying, scummy Aunt Wu predicts a grand romance for Sokka. To disprove her "fortunetelling" once and for all, Sokka decides to spend the night with least romantic person he knows. Zuko."

- Another word for wanting by eurydicees 23k words, rated T listen usually I'm not one for soulmate aus but this one. THIS ONE. beautifully written and deeply, emotionally devastating.

- A loose bolt by hydrochaeris 50k words, rated T The first installment of a truly amazing series. A very deep and well written portrayal of sokka and zuko struggling with family and university, while trying to avoid each other.

- The Stingray by smediterranea 24k words, rated M (I tried to keep it sfw but I simply couldn't leave this one out, perdoname madre por mi vida loca) Zuko gets injured by a stingray while on the beach, thank god the hot lifeguard is there to help him. Idiots to lovers ensues.

- and I'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by nebulastucky 60k words, rated M eight chapters (so far) of PURE YEARNING. EVIL. SICK AND TWISTED. Zukka fwb to "oh no I'm in love with the guy" modern au, featuring the true shining star of this story Momo the cat.

- Carmine by backatpatrickpark 6k words, rated G Artist Sokka rights!! A post canon fic that explores art as a metaphor of growth, and the color red.

- from you, the flowers grow by wearealltalesintheend 6k words, rated T tattoo parlor/flower shop au. I haven't read this one in a while but I remember it was so sweet and heartfelt, it has a v special place in my heart.

- I could (never) give you peace by zukkababey 10k words, rated M u know those fics when the characters are together but are STILL pining terribly for each other? this fic has it all. the love, the yearning, the miscommunication, the angst with a happy ending. 200/10

- kiss me just to shut me up by dickpuncher420 40k words, rated T Sokka is a sk8r boy, Zuko is a tattoo artist, can I make it any more obvious?I love this fic SO MUCH the vibes are immaculate, invented summer and falling in love.

- afternoon tea by toribird 47k words, rated T "Early on during his time in Ba Sing Se, Sokka stops for a cup of tea. This small action changes everything."

- It's the mallrat in me by leopardfringe 31k words, rated T if I ever stop losing my mf mind about this story just assume I'm dead. Sokka and Zuko and their developing relationship as it goes through the five stages of grief, and also they're working at the mall.

- Ignition Point by Yuu_chi 18k words, rated M I'm also not one for bender!sokka works but this one here is the bright blazing amazing exception. After the war Sokka finds out he's a firebender, and goes to the fire nation to ask Zuko for help.

- Landscapes by jinnora 4k words, rated T "Firelord Zuko has been teaching his Southern Water Tribe Ambassador, Sokka, landscape painting. Featuring counterchange, jokes about knives, and Zuko being desperately attracted to Sokka."

- like the sun inside of you by ofherlionheart 126k words, rated M a HUGE fic and it has become one of my all time faves. Come for the (eventual) zukka stay for the incredible plot, world building and original characters, I would kill and die for all of them.

- light, manufactured by HisMomoness 55k words, rated T This story is most of all an amazing character study of Zuko dealing with complicated emotion during his stay in a research station in Antartica. It's about the mortifying ordeal of letting yourself be known, healing, and penguins.

- recreate a place that's our own world by Muncaster 42k words, rated T Zukka storm chasers AU. it's soo beautifully written, Sokka and Zuko and a van, falling in love and running into storms <333

- real enough to get me through by marriedzukka 193k words, rated M "After Iroh passes, Zuko reaches his breaking point. As he navigates the path through grief, he meets a kindred soul, and begins to heal in more ways than one."

- settle for by amatchforyourmadness 23k words, rated T this fic devastated me, scooped out my heart and left it to melt on the floor. features poet!zuko and an incredible amount of tears (the tears are mine)

- sirens & sleepless nights by satirrian 54k words, rated T dystopian modern au. I love this story beyond reason it's simply insane. the plot is insane. the worldbuilding is insane. the fact that it invented romance with a dish washing scene is insane. Once again begging you all to read it

- the art of charting the stars by ermysthewarlock 16k words, rated T "A post-canon fic where Ambassador Sokka and Fire Lord Zuko write each other letters and watch the stars."

- the theory of liminality by Aiyah 19k words, rated M oh boy this one HURTS so good, Sokka gets lost in space, and tries to make his way back to earth and to the man he loves. I cried.

- What You See You Might Not Get by lenaballena 22k words, rated T speaking of space zukka I could NOT leave out this absolutely iconic masterpiece. "A Starfleet Au; five things Zuko learned about Sokka, and one thing Sokka already knew about Zuko."

- the road between action and inaction by Donvex 17k words, rated T "The hitchhiker au, featuring Sokka and Zuko falling in love without even realizing it."

- through the ice darkly by chuffystilton this one is a series, kind of a "role reversal" au. Aside from the writing being insanely good the plot and world building are so intriguing I'm completely obsessed.

- what did you bury before those hands pulled you from the earth by Draco_Sollicitus 18k words, rated M listen I'm cheesy you can pry a good Hades/Persephone au (with a twist) from my cold dead hands. V emotional and bittersweet.

- do you take this jerk to be (your one and only) by jatersade 55k words, rated T Ok I feel like everyone knows this Absolute Classic but I couldn't leave it out simply bc it's the first zukka fic I read and it's 90% of the reason my current brainrot is so severe.

#WHEW THIS IS LIKE. A LOT #A LOT A LOT #and I'm sure as soon as I post I'll be like fUCK I FORGOT -THIS- ONE #(also I couldn't stop adding bc I realized that this post could be very useful for me if I ever feel like re-reading kjfgkd)#also I know that some of these authors have tumblr accs but I didn't have the energy to find them all orz #fic rec #ask

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sacredsorceress · 2 years

Text

↳ I currently write for the marvel characters Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes, Xu Shang-Chi, Druig, Jack Russell and Matt Murdock. Find my inbox here and my masterlist with all of their fics here!

↳ Tap “keep reading” to find my full collection of Shang-Chi fics below.

↳ All works are ordered oldest to newest.

Oneshots

Karaoke Night (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader)

in which you meet shang-chi and his friend katy after receiving a message from wong. rather than cutting the night short, you agree to go out to karaoke with the trio and you discover that you have feelings that are more than just professional for your new, skilled acquaintance (fluff)

Share (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader)

in which you teach shang-chi elements of the mystic arts and he teaches you how to fight like his mother did (fluff)

Tender (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader)

in which you come home after a mission wounded and your boyfriend, shang-chi, takes care of you (angst, fluff)

Raincheck (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader)

in which you have to cancel your date with shang-chi to save the universe but you leave it to doctor strange to let him know the situation. after days of fighting you make it back home to apologize to the man of your dreams (fluff)

Old Habits Die Hard (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader, Ex!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

in which a group of men begin attacking what’s left of the avengers and so you and your boyfriend shang-chi escape to the avengers safe house. there you find a certain super soldier and have to open up about your past to your new boyfriend (angst)

Long Time No See (Xu Shang-Chi x Reader)

in which shang-chi comes back into you and his sister’s life after all this time and he has a lot of apologizing to do to gain back your trust (angst)

Live a Lie (Xu Shang-Chi x Wife!Reader)

in which you see a video of your husband, shaun, fighting on a bus and confront him when he gets home only to discover that he has a past that he has been hiding from you for far too long (angst)

Boo! (Xu Shang-Chi x Reader)

in which you and your boyfriend go to a haunted house and the last thing you’ve expecting is for your boyfriend to be such a scaredy cat (fluff)

Round One (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader, Ex!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

in which your ex, bucky, tries to prove to you that he’s the right guy for you by getting into a fighting match with your boyfriend, shang-chi (angst)

Your Hero (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Widow!Reader)

after katy and shang-chi are taken hostage, you go fight the bad guys to save them, much to their amazement

Blurbs

Be Okay (Xu Shang-Chi x Avenger!Reader)

the one where you fear the worst about the future after the past and your boyfriend reminds you that everything is going to be okay (angst, fluff)

Good Morning (Xu Shang-Chi x Reader)

the one where you wake up besides shang-chi and he tells you about his dream from the night before leading to a very important question (fluff)

Study Break (Xu Shang-Chi x College Student!Reader)

the one where your boyfriend, shang-chi, catches you studying late at night and convinces you to take a break (fluff)

Breeze (Xu Shang-Chi x Reader)

the one where you and shang-chi go apple picking and you smother his freezing, rosy-cheeked self with kisses (fluff)

#shang-chi #shang chi angst #shang-chi one shot #shang chi drabble #shang-chi fluff #shang-chi fanfiction #shang chi x reader #shang-chi blurb #shang-chi imagine #xu shang-chi x reader #xu shang-chi fanfiction

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trashywormeateroffics · 2 years

Text

The right universe.

Summary: After Y/N's life turns upside down, she's full of grief. Somehow, one day, she manages to travel to the MCU, where she meets her favorite characters, including a certain god who seems willing to establish a friendship with her. Suddenly she's enwrapped in this new world, where everything she loved in a screen is now reality. How will she react? Will she be able to deal with the ghosts that haunt her? Or will she let them consume her? Will she be open to accept the love she is offered? Read to find out!

Read this on AO3!

Category: F/M.

Relationships: Loki/reader.

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Vision (Marvel), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, other minor appearances of other characters but these are the main ones, Pepper Potts, Loki (Marvel).

Additional tags: Loki/reader - Freeform, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluffyfest, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining a lot because we love to suffer, Domestic Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a parental figure, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Everyone is a good bro, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, y/n, After Infinity War but no one died and the purple bitch was defeated, Missions, Y/N is a universe traveller, Grief, Therapy, Protective Loki (Marvel), Loki in love.

MASTERLIST OF THE STORY

Chapter 19: Swiftie night.

“Okay Frosty, you are getting bathed. Yay!” Y/N told the cat while taking him out of his cage and handing him to the veterinarian. “I'll be back in half an hour to pick him up!” She said, bidding goodbye to the lady and turning to the door, but stopping when she bumped into someone.

“Oh god, I'm so sorry!” She said, frantically picking up the papers that the stranger dropped.

“Y/N?” She looked up and saw Sarah. “Seems like we are meant to bump into each other, quite literally.” She said, chuckling, and Y/N did too.

“Sorry again.”

“It's okay, don't worry.” She paused. “Are you doing anything now?”

“I was actually gonna get a coffee, to wait for Frosty to get bathed. Would you like to join me?”

“I'd love to!”

They ended up in a cafe, two blocks from the vet. They sat at a table next to a window.

“So, tell me. What do you do?”

“Oh, not much. Just a boring office job.” Y/N responded, she couldn't tell her that she was an avenger, or close to becoming one. “What about you?”

“I work with the doctor in the office next to your veterinarian.”

“Wow! That's cool.”

“Nah,” she said, disregarding the comment with a movement of her hand. “I'm just a helper now, but one day, if I ever finish the career, I'll be something different.”

“So, you are studying medicine?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Cool.” She said, smiling and Sarah smiled back. “So, do you listen to Taylor Swift?” Y/N asked suddenly.

“Are you kidding me? I love her!”

“Really? Me too!” She said, excited.

“What's your favorite album of hers?” They both eyed each other and at the same time said: Reputation! And started laughing.

“But I also love every other album in her discography.” Y/N told her.

“You know, there is a club not that far from here that has “Swiftie Nights” where they play only Taylor Swift songs. We should totally go! Actually, if I'm not mistaken, tonight is Swiftie Night!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, would you like to go?”

“Yes, I'd love to! Can I tell another friend that loves her too?”

“Yes, of course. The more the merrier!”

---------------------------

“Y/N, we are going to be late!” Wanda called out to her.

“One second I'm just-” She came out of the elevator. “Fixing my hair.”

“Y/N! You look amazing!” Sam told her and everyone agreed.

She was wearing a multicolored pastel short dress, with shiny ribbons everywhere and bright pink thigh high boots.

“Thanks guys! I'm Lover, the album.”

“And I am Folklore.” The Scarlet Witch said, wearing jeans and a shirt with a creamed coloured cardigan, accompanied by a braid.

“You both look insanely cool!” Peter said and Y/N shimmied her hips to make the ribbons move in every direction.

“Thank you everyone.” Wanda said. “Now come on, we are going to be late. Pietro are you coming?”

“A Taylor Swift dedicated night? Of course.” He said, running like a flash next to his sister.

“Loki?” Y/N said as she got closer to him.

“No, but thank you for the invitation.” She pouted and he smirked. “But you look ravishing darling.” He said, getting closer to her ear, while everyone else was laughing at Pietro with a long blonde wig. She felt her face grow hot and smiled shyly at him.

“T-Thank you.” He nodded and Wanda interrupted them.

“Alright, it's just the three of us, let's go.”

“Bye Loki,” she said, turning around.

“What was that? You are as red as a strawberry.” The witch asked her in the elevator.

“What? Nothing.”

“Uh huh,” she hummed.

“Come on guys!” Pietro said and forced Wanda to drop the subject.

------------------------

Y/N came out of the elevator bidding goodbye to the twins and entered the kitchen to grab a glass of water before she went to her room. As she was grabbing it she felt someone behind her and turned around.

“Were you going to sneak up on me?” She asked, jokingly.

“I don't think I can anymore mortal, you've grown too aware of my presence.”

“That I have.” They looked at eachother, the tension in the kitchen could be cut with a knife. It was something about the way he had complimented her earlier, in a way that he had never done before.

“Did you have fun?”

“I did! Though I would've had more fun if you had been there.” She said in a moment of bravery.

“Is that so?” He said, getting closer to her.

“Yeah,” she answered, looking up at him. She was trapped between him and the counter. “I always have more fun when you are there.”

Hearing that, he felt the strongest impulse he had ever felt in his entire life, and instead of pondering on it for a bit, he smashed his lips onto hers. Her eyes went wide before shutting closed, and her hands went to tangle in his hair and she pulled, earning a small moan from him. He slid his hands from her waist to her hips and lifted her onto the counter, about to open her legs and get in between them, but when she moved to give him space, the glass that Y/N had grabbed fell into the sink, snapping both of them out of their daze. They pulled away, panting.

“I- I apologize.” He said.

“Loki,” she began but he quickly disappeared into a green shimmer. She wasn't sure he heard her. Sighing, she got off the counter and made her way to her room, where she collapsed on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Had Loki just kissed her?

~taglist~ @mischief2sarawr @midnights-ramblings @mealoncholy-hill

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punchdrunkdoc · 2 years

Text

Just Breathe - Ch. 21

Summary: Six months after the events in Gotham Square Garden, Bruce is struggling to find balance between his role as Batman and his responsibilities as Bruce Wayne. His life is made even more complicated when he learns that someone knows his secret identity.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter, slow-burn Battinson/original female character story with romance, angst, and crime solving!

Also available on AO3

Masterlist

Reference pics and stuff

The main story is finished, so I won’t make you guys wait any longer before posting it - chapters 21 and 22 are both dropping tonight. There’s just an epilogue to follow and then this fic will be complete! I’m excited for you to read it, but I’m sad that its all done.

Thanks for all your love and comments over the past few months - its made posting this so much fun!

PDD

-----

Bruce,

Thank you for all you’ve done for me.

You offered me a place of safety when my life was in danger; you rescued me when I was trapped. But more than that, you gave me a home and a place to be myself. You accepted me without judgement or fear, and loved me for who I am - I’ll always be grateful for that. It was an amazing gift for someone who has always felt so alone.

But we were not to be. I understand the reasons why. And though we only had a short time together, that doesn’t make it any less precious. It was ephemeral, but beautiful. Just…not meant to be.

Our stars were crossed, and not aligned.

No, that’s not right.

‘Star-crossed’ implies that our paths will forever diverge, leading us farther and farther away, until we’re distant memories to each other…

I prefer to think of us as binary stars - drawn together by the unknowable universe, revolving around each other, but never able to bridge the distance.

Do you know that for most known binary systems only one star is visible? That lone star seems to dance around an empty space, and the presence of the unseen companion can only be inferred by its influence on gravity.

That’s how I think of us. You changed by orbit, and altered my gravity.

You’ll be my companion for the rest of my life. The one I dance with, unseen, forever.

I love you.

Goodbye.

Bruce carefully re-folded the letter.

It was foolish to carry around a note addressed to ‘Bruce’ on ‘Wayne’ family headed paper when he was dressed as his alter ego…but he couldn’t seem to leave it behind when he left the tower tonight.

He’d read and re-read it so many times over the past three days, he could recite the words by heart; but still, he couldn’t leave it behind.

He needed it with him.

He tried to smooth out the creases marring the thick white paper, but the marks remained from where he’d crumpled the note on first finding it.

He’d returned from the raid on Connell’s compound feeling battered and sore from the fight that had broken out. Connell hadn’t gone down easy; he’d barricaded himself in his study, leaving his goons to battle it out with the federal agents and SWAT teams. Bruce had helped, in a controlled rampage through the mansion that echoed the one from the week before.

But this time, when he reached Connell’s study, the criminal mastermind was too busy shredding incriminating evidence to bother arming himself with a gas-filled shot gun.

Bruce had taken him down easily and handed him over to the authorities - who found enough in that study alone to indict him on several federal charges.

Connell’s planned takeover of Gotham had failed before it even got started.

So Bruce had come home feeling sore to his bones, but with a lightness in his soul and anticipation surging through his veins. He’d jogged up the stairs towards Beth’s bedroom, ignoring the twinges of pain in his knees, eager to see her.

To pick up where they’d left off.

To start their lives, finally free from Newsome, her father and Connell.

But when he’d cracked open her door, all traces of her were gone. The gentle light of the sunrise spilling into her room illuminated her absence. The clothes she usually left hanging over the chair of the dresser were gone; her makeup…gone. The charger plugged into the wall…gone. The books on the bedside table…gone.

She was gone.

The only thing left was the note, resting on the crisply made bed.

His first reaction upon skimming the letter had been to crush it into a ball and throw it across the room. He couldn’t believe that after everything they’d been through, she’d left him with a ‘Dear John’ letter - it seemed too…cowardly…for his brave, fearless Beth.

When the anger passed, confusion took its place.

Why had she left?

After their kiss earlier, he felt they were finally on the same page. He’d poured all the love in his heart into that embrace, telling her over and over again through his touch and his thoughts how much he cherished her.

How much he wanted to be with her.

Had it not been enough? Was the obstacle of her ability too much to overcome?

Had she seen something in his thoughts that spooked her, like the night of the party? Something that convinced her, once and for all, that it could never work between them?

Bruce retrieved the letter and sat on the floor by the bed, contemplating the crumpled ball of paper in his hand. If this was really the end of them - if this ‘goodbye’ was all he would be left with - he would force himself to read it properly.

He smoothed out the paper and absorbed the words, imagining them in Beth’s voice.

…you gave me a home and a place to be myself. You accepted me without judgement or fear, and loved me for who I am - I’ll always be grateful for that. It was an amazing gift for someone who has always felt so alone…

Those words could have been referring to him. Beth had accepted him without judgement or fear. She had seen the real Bruce Wayne…and loved him anyway. She was right - it was an amazing gift. One he would try to appreciate, even when he felt like throwing it back in the universe’s face.

But we were not to be…

It didn’t seem fair. They had managed to find each other, and fall in love - a miraculous feat for two people so closed off from the world. She had brought him back from the brink of a grey and loveless life and shown him what could be possible if he opened his heart.

For them to still be alone after all that…it just didn’t seem fair.

Our stars were crossed and not aligned.

No, that’s not right.

‘Star-crossed’ implies that our paths will forever diverge, leading us farther and farther away, until we’re distant memories to each other…

I prefer to think of us as binary stars - drawn together by the unknowable universe, revolving around each other, but never able to bridge the distance.

The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly at her choice of metaphor. Of course Beth would talk about them in terms of stars.

The stars had brought them together, after all.

You’ll be my companion for the rest of my life. The one I dance with, unseen, forever.

The back of his eyes burned with tears at the thought of her alone for the rest of her life, kept company by nothing more than his memory.

But, he couldn’t imagine dancing with anyone else either.

I love you.

Goodbye.

The tears fell. Bruce hung his head as the finality of that last word sank in.

Then he read the letter again.

And again.

A tiny niggle of…something…struck him every time, like a discordant note in a melody. But he brushed it aside, always in a rush to reach those three words at the end.

Those three words that gave him solace, and made the pain slightly more bearable.

I love you

———

“I owe you an apology.”

Bruce hastily tucked the letter into his pocket and turned to face Lieutenant Gordon. “What for?”

“That pathologist - Beth Carraway. She wasn’t involved with Newsome. We found evidence that she was being held in one of Connell’s labs. She must have been there the whole time…and we missed it. I missed it. I should have listened to you.” Gordon shook his head. “That poor woman. She managed to escape on her own, no thanks to me.” He dragged a hand down his face and looked away, obviously wracked with guilt.

The sight made Bruce feel guilty in turn. He had planted the evidence about Beth. And he knew how a good man like Gordon would react to the information...but he’d done it anyway.

He had to clear Beth’s name somehow.

“How is she?” Bruce asked, aiming for a light, barely-interested tone, hoping his desperation for news of Beth didn’t leak through. He’d forced himself to stay away from her while he waited for his theory to be confirmed, and the distance was killing him.

The irony was not lost on him.

For most of his time with Beth he’d fought against their connection; he’d tried again and again to step back, extract himself from the pull of her gravity. But now that she had broken things off, he yearned to be close to her.

“She’s…” Gordon paused while he tried to find the right words, and Bruce held his breath - a thousand worst case scenarios flooding his mind. “She’s different. Withdrawn. She seems…sad. So sad she damn near broke my heart.”

Bruce’s own heart stuttered at the thought of Beth alone and withdrawn.

He wanted to jump on his bike and race to her, but he had to wait.

If he was wrong…he wasn't sure he could take a third rejection.

He spent a few minutes more with Gordon - getting all the latest on Connell’s upcoming arraignment - before he shook the lieutenant’s hand and left the abandoned rooftop. Gordon had seemed shocked at the gesture, and returned the handshake warily. Bruce had reached out on instinct, not thinking much of it until their hands had met.

It was yet more proof of Beth’s influence over him. How much she’d restored his humanity.

You changed by orbit, and altered my gravity

She’d done the same for him. He was a better man because of her.

Bruce’s burner phone rang as he reached his bike on the street level. Knowing that only Alfred had the number - and that there’d only be one reason for his call - Bruce answered quickly, with an impatient, “Are they back?”

“Yes,” Alfred confirmed. “The lab have been in touch and the results are back.”

“And?”

“And you were right.”

Bruce hung up, a mixture of triumph and hope buzzing through his system. He quickly straddled the bike and kickstarted the engine.

It was finally time to see Beth.

Less than twenty minutes later, he tapped on her living room window.

He should have been assailed by a sense of déjà vu. Here he was - again - dressed as the Bat, crouched on Beth’s fire escape, waiting for her to let him in to her apartment.

But this was nothing like before.

He was a completely different man from the one who used to swing by Beth’s place, desperate for a scrap of attention. The man who deluded himself into thinking there was nothing between them but friendship.

And this situation was completely different.

And it was changing by the second.

He’d come here to plead for answers, to show her his evidence and beg for another chance…

But unexpected anger was building inside of him, fuelled by the hurt he still carried with him from finding that goddam letter.

Its why the first words out of his mouth when Beth finally raised open the window were, “What the hell were you thinking?!”

———

Beth took a step back, startled by Bruce’s vehement words.

She was startled by Bruce in general.

What was he doing here?

It had been thee days since she’d left Wayne Tower, and she hadn’t heard a thing from him. Not that she expected to. Their relationship was well and truly over. They loved and desired each other - the passionate, beautiful kiss they’d shared the night she’d left proved that - but Bruce had chose saving Gotham over her.

The note she’d left made it clear she understood that. And he was no doubt relieved that she’d spared him the awkward, painful conversation that would have ended things between them.

So there was nothing left to say.

There was no reason for him to return to her life.

So she had spent the last few days trying to restart that life. She’d been questioned by the police about her kidnapping and had been cleared of all wrong-doing with Newsome; she’d spoken to her boss at the M.E.’s office about returning to work, and she’d managed to convince her bank and various utility companies to reopen her accounts since ‘the reports of my death were greatly exaggerated’. The fun of misquoting Mark Twain to confused customer service representatives had been the only bright spot of the whole ordeal.

Luckily, those tasks had managed to fill the waking hours of her first two days away from Bruce; they’d kept her busy, and unable to dwell on the ache in her heart.

But today was different.

Today was rough.

There had been too many empty hours with nothing to distract her from her thoughts. Her memories. Nothing to distract her from contemplating the endless stretch of…loneliness…that was her future.

Until a gentle tapping at her window had jolted her from her depressed reverie.

Seeing Bruce’s familiar silhouette on her fire escape had set her heart racing. She’d scrambled out of her chair and fumbled with the locks on her window - too desperate for a glimpse of him to wonder why he might be here.

Or why he was so angry.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“What?” she asked. He took advantage of her involuntary step back to climb through the window and into her living room.

He wrenched his cowl from his head and ran a gloved hand through his hair, his movements agitated and barely controlled. “I finally get you back after you go missing for almost a week, but then you take off after less than 24 hours? Leaving nothing but this?” He wrenched a folded piece of paper from his pocket and waved it at her. “Do you have any idea how that felt?!”

Eyes locked on the piece of paper - her letter - she answered him in a meek voice.“I- I thought it would be easier-”

“Easier!?” He interrupted, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Easier would have been staying. Easier would have been talking to me. This has not been easy, Beth. It’s been fucking torture.” The note in his hand scrunched and crackled as his fist clenched around it.

“I- I’m sorry,” she whispered, realising that she’d messed up leaving the way that she had. She folded her arms across her chest, feeling the need to shield herself from the pain and anger radiating from him.

The motion exposed the plaster cast encasing her right hand. Catching sight of the injury, Bruce’s demeanour changed from irate to worried in an instant. He dropped the letter and carefully pushed up the sleeve of her cardigan, revealing the stiff blue fabric that covered the end of her forearm and most of her hand. “What happened?” he asked softly.

She pulled away from him and took a seat on the couch behind her - for some reason, dealing with his anger was easier than his gentle concern. But he just followed her down, his long cape draping over her white sofa to spill on the floor at their feet. She avoided his eyes and picked at a loose thread at the edge of the cast. “Turns out I broke my hand when I punched my father in the face. I got it checked at the hospital yesterday and they diagnosed a Boxer’s fracture.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

She shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ll be good as new in a few weeks. Besides, it was worth it.”

“No, I meant, I’m sorry for yelling at you before. That wasn’t why I came here.”

She raised her eyes to meet his gaze. Now that they were sitting so close, she could see how tired he looked. It made her want to pull him down to rest against her. “So why did you come?”

“Because of this.” He opened one of the pouches on his belt and removed a small glass vial. He held it up between his finger and thumb, and she could see a tiny residue of blue liquid at the bottom. “Dory found this in my bathroom when she was cleaning, along with a syringe. She passed it to Alfred, who staged a mini-intervention; he thought I was doing drugs.”

She bit her lip to keep from smiling at the mental image.

Bruce noticed, and smiled in return. “Looking back, it was pretty funny, even though I wasn’t in the mood to laugh at the time.” He studied the small container, as he rolled it between his fingers. “I recognised this as one of the vials from the lab - the vials that you were so desperate to save. So I had the remaining liquid analysed and I got the results back tonight.” He looked at her then. “It acts to cut off your abilities, doesn’t it?”

She nodded.

“And you injected it the other night, before…our kiss.”

Another nod.

“Which means you didn’t hear a goddam thing I was trying to tell you that night.”

She frowned at him. “I heard plenty when you were talking to Alfred downstairs,” she said, a hard edge to her voice.

He winced, then dropped his head into his hands. “I was afraid of that.” He rose to his feet and picked up the discarded letter, reading part of it aloud: “‘But we were not to be. I understand the reasons why.’” He shook his head. “I understand the reasons why,” he repeated. “I kept getting hung up on that one phrase. It sounded as though the reasons for leaving weren’t your own. That they were my reasons. And I couldn’t figure that out…until we found that syringe. Then I figured there must have been a misunderstanding.”

A misunderstanding.

She shook her head. There was no misunderstanding. “I heard you clearly, Bruce. About me being a distraction. Making you weaker. How ‘the sooner I moved out the better’. You want to talk about torture? That was torture.”

He raked his hands through his hair. “If you’d just spoke to me about it that night-”

She jumped to her feet, feeling her own surge of anger. “And what? Should I have begged for you to change your mind?! Dropped to my knees and pleaded with you? I have some self respect, you know!”

“Beth, I didn’t mean what I said! I didn’t mean any of it!”

She shook her head and collapsed back on the couch. He sat on the coffee table in front of her and took hold of her hands. She tried to pull them away, but he held tight. “No, listen to me Beth. I’d just come back from the hospital where George - you remember the kid I told you about? He died that night. And it all just became…too much. I lashed out and said some shit I didn’t mean, because I was scared. Scared of losing you again.”

She stared into his eyes, seeing the pain of loss reflected in those deep blue depths. She didn’t blame him for being scared. He had lived through her death, after all. She’d gotten a glimpse of the desolation he’d felt when he’d breathed for her in the lab.

A mere glimpse.

He had lived that reality for hours.

She couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. It would be heartbreaking for anyone…but for a man who still hadn’t recovered from the trauma of his parents deaths? For a man who had shielded himself against just that type of pain for decades? An experience like that wouldn’t just break his heart, it risked destroying him.

To lose George on top of that? A little boy he felt a connection to? A responsibility for?

No, she couldn’t blame him for being scared.

But she couldn’t guarantee something like that wouldn’t happen again. Life was unpredictable and it could sometimes be cruel. She wanted to face that uncertainty with him, but she was worried that he’d always have one foot out the door, too afraid to fully commit.

She tried to explain that to him. “I get it, Bruce. I get why you might have said what you did. But it feels like every time we get close, you pull away or hurt me. You’re still too scared of this. Of us.”

He gripped her uninjured hand firmer, and leaned closer. She had no choice but to meet his intense gaze. “No. I won’t let that fear rule me, Beth. And I won’t let it ruin this. When I thought you’d died, I realised that I would have gone through all of it - all the pain and uncertainty and fear - all of it a thousand times over, just to have one more day with you. I realised that every possible bad outcome and worst case scenario that might happen in the future would be worth it…if I got to spend my life with you.”

She bit her lip, still wary of believing him. She’d been through so much in the last week, her emotions were all over the place. She wasn’t sure she could trust the hope that was stirring in her soul at his words.

He seemed to notice her reticence. He sat back and removed his gloves and the gauntlets from his arms. He held out a bare hand towards her.

“Take my hand, Beth. Let me prove it to you. See what I tried to show you the other night. See how much I love you. How much I want to make this work between us. I’m all in, Beth - let me prove it to you.”

She raised her hand until it hovered over his palm, a slight tremble visible as she hesitated.

“Please,” he begged softly. “Trust me, Beth. Take my hand.”

———

Bruce held his breath as her hand hovered above his palm…and exhaled when it came to rest against his.

He curled his fingers gently around hers, cradling them as if they were made of glass - when what he really wanted to do was hold tight and never let go.

He’d come so close to losing her - all because of a few misunderstandings. And he was only sitting here now, with her hand in his, because of a sentence in a letter and a small glass vial. If Dory had binned the vial when she found it, or if he’d thrown away the letter after one quick read…this could all be ending so differently.

No.

He wasn’t sure he believed that.

He was meant to be with Beth.

The universe couldn’t keep them apart for long. They would have been pulled back into each other’s orbit soon enough. And not like the binary stars she compared them to, doomed to circle each other from a distance. They were the opposite of that…

…whatever that was.

Two black holes, maybe? Pulling each other closer and closer until they…collided?

Maybe he should leave the cosmic metaphors to her.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Beth said, laughter in her voice.

“Hmm?” Bruce asked, looking up from their hands. Her head was bent close to his, and he could see the humour sparking in her eyes. “You caught that, huh?”

She smiled and nodded.

He gave her a small shrug. “I’m not that good with words.”

“That’s not true. The way you feel about me, in here,” she lifted her injured hand to brush her fingers over his forehead. “And here,” she pressed the same hand against his chest, over his heart. “And what your soul is telling me through this,” she squeezed her other hand around his. “Its pure poetry.”

He closed his eyes and bowed his head, resting it on their clasped hands. The relief was overwhelming. “So you believe me then? That I want to be with you, no matter what?”

“I believe you.”

He raised his head again, and pressed a kiss against the back of her hand. “And that I love you - completely and with all my heart?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “And I love you too. But…”

He frowned. “But what?”

“But there’s something I need to tell you. And I’m afraid it might change the way you see me.”

----

CHAPTER 22

----

Taglist: @hollandorks @grunge-n-roses5 @xmxrfx @neptunesands @caramelcandescence @blossomedfloweroflove @wanderdreamer @angelsarecallin @stephenismyking @rabbitdictionary @starshipvelociraptor @yanna-banana @batmanlovesnirvana @bees-fart-too @hypnoash @eravanaaaah @anescapistreality @beigetrash @shimmeringgrim @battinsonbaby @blue-aconite

#Batman #The Batman 2022 #Batman fic #Batman fanfic #The Batman 2022 fic #battinson fic #Battinson #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x original character #bruce wayne/OC #batman x oc #Batman / original female character #Just Breathe #Carrawayne

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

Rent An Oppa ~ HHJ [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.5K

PAIRING: Hyunjin x Reader

GENRE: non idol AU, strangers to lovers, rent an oppa, fluffy, a little angst but nothing too major, pining for one another, first kiss,

A/N: I made this one a fluffy one without smut hunny, I hope that this is okay hunny

Moving to South Korea was one of the best decisions you'd ever made. It had been your dream for years to move somewhere that wasn’t where you were from. You’d finally made it happen, you were here. Sitting in your new apartment staring out at all of the sights that you could see. The apartment you’d gotten was a loft apartment which was something you’d never thought of having before, but it was perfect. The ground floor was open plan, besides the bathroom of course and you had large floor to ceiling windows that looked out at the city of Seoul. Your bedroom was just up a flight of stairs and it looked out at the ground floor, it was unbelievably perfect for your first home in Seoul. There was only one thing wrong with everything and that was that you didn’t know your way around. Sure there were maps and people you could ask for help but you wanted a tour guide.

You’d seen an app being advertised on your plane ride over which you were tempted to use. “Rent an Oppa.” It sounded like it was straight out of a K-Drama but it was real and monitored wonderfully. Everyone had a screening test, background test and everything is done before they were allowed to become an “Oppa” for the app.

“Let’s see what this is then,” You mumbled to yourself as you sat down on your sofa, pulling your knees up to your chest as you began to scroll through the app. Everyone had profiles set up with verification photos to prove that they were who they said they were, then there were some small descriptions about the boys or girls there.

Endlessly scrolling and swiping through profiles you couldn’t find anyone you thought you would get along well with. You wanted someone that you had things in common with, if you were going to be paying them for their time you might as well do something you both enjoy doing it.

About to give up hope and go at it alone a profile popped up. A new profile that caught your eye. The photo was of a boy around 21-years-old standing on top of a rooftop, dressed in a smart shirt and tie aiming a camera at whoever was taking the photo of him. Photography-nut was written in his profile making you giggle a little as you flicked through his images. In each of them, it began to reveal his face and mid-length blonde hair. He looked as though he was really sweet and kind, the kind of boy you took to meet your parents.

“Hyunjin,” You smiled as you said his name, swiping onto his profile to see what rates he was charging. It wasn’t expensive and just in your budget range so you messaged him. There was no harm in seeing if he was free that day.

[12:03] Y/n:

Hi there, I’m not entirely sure how this thing works 😅😅 but could we arrange a meetup? I’m new in Seoul and need a tour guide 🥰

Staring at the phone you debated with yourself if that was the right way to start a conversation with someone on the app. There was no tutorial on how to message them or if you had to wait for them to message you first.

[12:07] Hyunjin 🍀

Hey! I would love to arrange a meetup. I can meet you anywhere you feel comfortable! Welcome to Seoul! 💞🌺

Smiling to yourself you gave him the address to the shop right beside your apartment building. It was the only play you really knew so far and you wanted to meet him somewhere you knew the exact location of. Rather than wandering around lost trying to find somewhere to meet him you didn’t know yet.

Dressed in a long-sleeved Beige shirt-dress and some black leggings you waited outside the shop, acting as though you were busy on your phone so you didn’t look as though you were staring out for Hyunjin. It was already going to be awkward enough without you looking around gormlessly for him.

“Hey,” A voice called out making you jump a little as you looked up from your phone to see him. He was identical to his photos though his hair was a little longer now.

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” You shook his hand and he smiled nodding his head,

“I’m Hyunjin and I know this is probably going to be awkward for a while so I hope we can become friends throughout it,” He smiled as he let go of your hand. This time you looked at him you took in his whole appearance, he was wearing a black and white striped turtle neck and some black jeans.

“I’m new to the app so we’re both doing firsts here,” He smiled as he looked around you both, taking in everything around him as he tried to figure out what you could do for the day.

“It’s still quite early in the afternoon...I can show you around, show you all of the shops, shopping mall and just around Seoul itself if you like?” You were completely taken by his voice, appearance and how sweet he was being with you.

“I would love that, the only place I know is the shop and my apartment.” You laughed weakly as he nodded his head.

“Would you mind if I linked our arms?” You shook your head and you linked arms with one another as he began to lead you down the road.

“So what brings you to Seoul?” He questioned as he tried to break the ice. It was nice that he was trying, you had rented him for the rest of the day and you were going to have to get to know each other.

“I fancied a change in pace. I’ve always loved South Korea and the culture,” You admitted as your eyes glanced around at all of the people you were pacing. Everyone in their own worlds as they went about their daily lives. Each person you saw looked as though they had been plucked out of a fashion magazine, their outfits were so effortless yet stood out in the large crowds.

“When did you get here?” He asked as he waited at the side of the road for lights to change and you could cross without being in any kind of danger.

“About two days ago...I’ve been locked up in my apartment eating Ramen. I was so worried I’d get lost.” You groaned thinking back on it while Hyunjin laughed a little, shaking his head.

“I’ll add a shopping trip on our list of things to do. I can’t have you living off only ramen.” He chuckled and your whole heart seemed to swell up when you saw the smile on his face. It was honestly one of the prettiest smiles you’d seen and his dimples were so deep you wanted to reach up and poke them. But you didn’t.

The rules of the app were very simple. No inappropriate touching, no exchange of social media or phone numbers. Once the dates were over that was it unless you rented another one but only through the app.

“I should take you to see Cheonggyecheon River, a small walk down and we’ll be at the nicest cafes,” Hyunjin explained as he seemed to be enjoying this almost as much as you were,

“So why did you join the app?” You questioned as you looked at him, it had been a question on your mind since seeing him on the app.

“I needed the extra cash for art supplies...I’m studying at the moment so this seemed to be the perfect side job.” He explained as he began heading down some stairs towards a small river that ran through the city.

“Cheonggyecheon River,” You whispered as you looked around, it had only been something you’d seen in photos but now it was real.

“So you do art?” You questioned as you went back to looking up at Hyunjin while you walked.

“Yeah. I try to, I’m learning to draw, I thought it would be fun.” You smiled wanting to know more about it.

“Do you have any pictures?” He nodded as he sat down on an empty bench with you, pulling out his phone to show you photos of the drawings he’d been doing in his spare time.

“These are amazing! You did these?” You were truly shocked to see someone who was just learning to draw create amazing pieces as he had done. Some were anime characters, others were drawings of himself and another was a drawing of a dog.

“This is my favourite,” You told him as you looked at the Chihuhaha drawing he’d done,

“My little Kkami, I missed him so I drew him from a photo.” You smiled at the drawing again,

“Do you not get to see him much?” He shook his head as he looked out at the water.

“I live in a dorm with seven guys who are studying, Kkami is at home with my family.” Your heart clenched at the thought of him not getting to see his dog much,

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head at you, you had nothing to be sorry for.

“Don’t be, it makes the time I have with him all the more special. Shall we start to go?” You nodded getting up from the bench once more and heading in the direction he was leading you in.

The two of you had gotten to know each other more on your walk over to the supermarket, getting to know about him and all his roommates that seemed adventurous.

“Felix came here at 2 am once just to get baking ingredients.” He laughed as he pushed the trolley around the store, adding things he thought you would enjoy as well as ingredients to make Kimchi with.

“Why was he baking at 2 in the morning?” You laughed adding some pasta products into the trolley, looking around at everything in shock. It was so much larger than any other supermarket you had been in and it was empty. Hardly anyone besides you and Hyunjin was around and there was soft music playing through some speakers.

“It’s Felix, who knows why he does what he does,” He laughed as he watched you. You were standing in front of ramen packets and he smirked a little,

“You could get the cups. They’ll be better for you and cheaper in price.” Thanking him you added a bunch into the trolley and smiled a little,

“Noodles are the only thing I can successfully cook.” You chuckled while Hyunjin shook his head at you,

“I need to give you cooking lessons but we’re almost out of the day...I can send you some cooking books if you like.” The thought of the day almost being over made you sad to think you’d never see him again.

“I could book you for another day? I would love to learn to cook from someone who’s lived here their whole life,” Yes. That was the reason. Totally not because every time he smiled or laughed your heart fluttered. Hyunjin’s heart seemed to flutter at the thought of getting to meet you again, although he was getting paid to hang out with you it didn’t feel forced. It felt natural to be around you as though he had known you for years and he couldn’t wait to do it all over again.

“Sure! We should get some ingredients to cook with tomorrow. Your Kimchi will stay good for three to six months if you keep it in the fridge and once you know-how. You’re pretty much great for everything,” You smiled before nodding. Both of you grabbing more and more ingredients for recipes you could freeze and add to the freezer.

Laying in bed that night you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at the day you had. Hyunjin bought you home in a cab, helping you in with the bags before he helped you put everything away. You’d already paid him before he got home and booked another day together but none of it felt like a job or obligation to either of you. Hyunjin went home with a giant smile on his face having enjoyed the day much more than he had expected to.

“I told you that you’d have fun,” Chan said as he walked into the kitchen later that night to see Hyunjin couldn’t stop smiling.

“I had a lot, she’s amazing Hyung.” He explained as he began to pour himself some hot chocolate and get ready for a few hours of studying before bed.

“Just don’t get attached. The rules were simple Hyunjin.” He nodded as he headed back to his dorm room to find Felix sitting there waiting for everything that had happened that day.

“Felix made cookies.” Was the first thing Hyunjin said to you as you opened the door to see him standing there. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt, a grey jacket and some shorts. It was the hottest day of the year.

“His famous ones?!” You asked a little too excitedly as you saw the Tupperware box filled to the brim with cookies all of different shapes and sizes.

“He was baking last night and he thought I could share them.” It was a lie. Hyunjin had practically begged Felix to bake you some the night before. He’d told you so much about them and he’d seen the look on your face when he mentioned them. He wanted you to try them.

“Tell him I said thanks,” You hummed as bit down into one of the cookies, instantly rolling your head back at the taste of them.

"He could run his own bakery, oh my goodness," Hyunjin smiled as he walked into the kitchen pulling out an apron he'd brought from the dorms and getting ready to help you cook.

"We'll start with the Kimchi, it'll be the best thing to start with and then whatever you're planning for your dinner." You nodded at him, finishing off the cookie before you washed up and pulled on an apron you'd gotten from the store yesterday.

While you were chopping and washing up the ingredients Hyunjin was telling you everything you needed to do.

"You know you should be a chef...Or give out cooking classes." You told him as you began adding all of the ingredients together.

"I would give you five stars," He laughed softly as he looked at you,

"Like a Michelin chef?" You nodded at him as you continued to add everything together. Hyunjin laughing a little as he began to stir some of the stew he'd been making, scooping some up for you.

"You've reached the peak of taste, you'll never go back to normal food I promise." He laughed as you hummed at the taste of the stew.

"You'll have to take some home with you, there's no way I'll eat all this to myself." You mentioned as you stared at the huge stew pot he was cooking with.

"I'm sure the guys would love it," Hyunjin said before adding a little more spice to the stew and leaving it.

The two of you camped out on your sofa for hours just spending time getting to know one another. He told you all about his life at the dorms while you told him about life back at home.

"Do you miss it?" He asked as he bit into one of the cookies and looked at you,

"Sometimes. I miss the people more than the place but it's home." You frowned thinking back on your time, it wasn't as though you were never going to go back again, but this was your life now.

"I suppose that's how it is with many people." He smiled weakly putting down his plate and looking at the time, he only had an hour left with you before he had to head home for the night.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" You shrugged your shoulders as you thought about it. Nothing was planned for at least a month, your job was waiting for some final paperwork to be done.

"Nothing that I know of,"

"Do you want to go to Seoul Tower, it's one of the best tourist spots. I think you'll enjoy it there," You smiled while nodding your head, wanting to spend all of the time in the world with Hyunjin. For as long as you could at least.

"Sure!" You smiled at him before going over to the stew to get everything put into smaller tubs for him to take home. The subject of payment was growing closer and neither of you wanted to feel awkward about talking about it again.

"Hyunjin. You're growing attached," Chan warned as soon as Hyunjin stepped through the door that night. All eight of the boys were on the app to earn some extra cash and for them, it had been routine days out. A cafe, a shopping spree here and there but that was it. None of them ever spent so much time getting to know their clients or even cook with them.

"I'm not. She's just being a nice friend Hyung," He complained as he placed the stew down onto the counter. Calling out to the boys that there was food if anybody was hungry for it.

"She's a client Hyunjin. Nothing more." He rolled his eyes as he listened to Chan bring up the subject of the rules again.

"No exchanging numbers, social media or inappropriate touching. I know Hyung, Gosh what do you think we're doing? Fucking in some park?" He grumbled taking a cookie and heading for his bedroom. He didn't want to hear the same speech over and over again reminding him that he couldn't have you the way that he wanted. There were feelings growing between you and he knew he was never going to be able to act on them and it killed him inside.

The days you spent together began to grow more and more and you forgot that this wasn't just friends hanging out together. That you were paying him for spending time with you. That was until the end of the night when you would wire transfer him the cash when he left leaving you both feeling awkward the next morning. Only for that to fade whenever you got on with the day that you had planned together. You'd seen almost every tourist attraction there. Hyunjin took you to Nami Island, ice cream dates, cafe dates, Seoul Tower and today you were going to Gyeongbokgung Palace.

"Everything okay? You seem quiet." He chuckled as you waited in line together to get tickets for the palace. Your eyes wandered up to him as you smiled weakly.

"Fine...I just can't wait to get in there." You lied not wanting to make anything between you more awkward than it had to be.

The palace was beautiful and filled with history Hyunjin couldn't wait to tell you about it. Explaining everything and tell you all of the facts he knew about the palace.

"Did you come here a lot?" You asked as you both sat down on some grass patches by one of the lakes. He'd brought along a picnic basket and a blanket for the two of you. The basket was filled with food he’d cooked and baked goods Felix had been forced to make once again,

“When I was a kid. I love history so I used to beg mum into taking me.” He laughed as he remembered all of the weekends he would spend there, learning about everything that he could.

“That’s amazing,” You smiled as he held up a spoon to your lips, spoon-feeding you some yoghurt he had bought along with him. You hummed letting him feed you when you looked around at different people around you. Lots of couples were doing the same thing as you both. Sitting together on the grass as they fed one another.

“Hey I was-” Hyunjin stopped speaking when you turned to look at him, neither of you realising how close you were to one another until your lips almost touched. Neither of you moved. You just stared at him, eyes flicking from his lips to his mouth your whole body aching to lean in and kiss him. But you didn’t. You sat there looking at him as he looked at you.

No one would have to know, he could just lean down and kiss you right now and no one would know about it. It wasn’t as though there were guards on the apps that tracked their every move. Placing down the spoon he looked at you, scooting closer to you as he watched to see if your facial expression changed at all. His right hand slowly rose to your face and he cupped your face in his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip as you let out a small whimper.

“If I do this, there’s no going back.” You shrugged your shoulder. You didn’t want to go back. You wanted his lips on yours, you didn’t care about anything else.

Hyunjin pressed his lips against yours and instantly it was sweet yet filled with passion, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck as you kissed him back. Lips moving in sync with one another as he pulled you closer to him. The world around you faded away as you made out on the small patch of grass together, forgetting that he was paid to be there and you were renting him for the day. None of that mattered when you felt the way you did. Your whole body prickling with tingles as he kissed you. Lips parting and tongues touching. Everything around you was gone. All you cared about was this moment.

After taking you home Hyunjin came in to have hot chocolate with you, well over his intended time limit and continued to kiss you. Cuddle you. Only making you yearn for him to stay longer but he had to go home. He had classes the next day.

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” You admitted as you stood by the front door of your apartment. Neither of you moving as you stared up at him. It was your last week before work and you could no longer afford to pay him. Though the subjects of paying for dates had gotten too weird for you and Hyunjin to talk about.

“I’m sure we’ll see each other around,” He sighed knowing he couldn’t give you his number or any way of contacting him outside of the app. He’d hoped he’d told you enough about his personal life for you to accidentally bump into one another somewhere.

“Hyunjin I think-” He kissed you softly not wanting you to finish the sentence. He was getting feelings for you too but admitting them out loud would make him stay and he couldn’t.

“I will see you around,” He whispered putting an emphasis on the “will” before he leant down to kiss you one last time. His hands on your waist as he smiled against your lips, pulling away and leaving you alone.

Weeks passed by and Hyunjin saw no sign of you in any of the spots he had told you about, he even made an effort to walk by your apartment building every night home from classes but there was no sign of you.

“You’ve been so weird lately. Why haven’t you been going to see Y/n?” Felix grumbled as he rolled over in bed one night to see Hyunjin laying wide awake at almost 1 am. Just sitting there and staring at the top of the bunk bed he was under.

“I can’t...I have feelings for her and I didn’t want to keep taking her money.” Crawling down from the top bunk Felix came to see Hyunjin. He was fully dressed and staring at the ceiling still.

“It’s creepy. Stop staring like that. Just go and “accidentally” bump into her...What’s the problem?” Hyunjin sat up and shook his head,

“You don’t think I’ve been trying that? I’ve been walking by her apartment building almost every night. Sitting in cafes...Maybe I was reading into it wrong.” Hyunjin’s phone flashed up and he darted toward it only to see it was an email from the Rent an Oppa app telling him that his account was deactivated.

“You quit?”

“I didn’t want to do it anymore.” He mumbled before getting up from the bed and grabbing a jacket,

“Where are you going? It’s almost 1:30?” Hyunjin said nothing as he left the bedroom.

The account was gone and all that was left was a stupid message telling you that Hyunjin has left the account. Staring down at your phone you hated yourself for not messaging him sooner to arrange something. You had to see him again. For the last two weeks, you had been going to what he said was his favourite cafe and waiting for him. You’d do the paperwork for work there, read books. You’d been in there so much the owner knew you by name.

“I’ll make you some goodnight tea,” The elderly owner whispered as she walked over to your table. They were open 24 hours which was nice at times like this when you couldn’t get to sleep.

“Thank you,” You whispered as you went back to looking through the paperwork you had to finish. The job wasn’t what you expected it to be so you were trying to file paperwork whilst look for something else to do there.

“Nightcap for you too?” The elderly woman called out to someone who had just walked through the door. Frowning to yourself you glanced up to see a hoodied boy walk through the shop and stand at the counter.

“You’re not alone tonight. Someone else who can’t sleep,” The hoodied boy began to turn and as soon as you locked eyes your heart lept to your throat.

“Hyunjin?” You whispered to yourself as he began heading over to your table, eyes wide as he saw you sitting there.

“Fancy meeting you here,” He laughed as he sat down beside you, both of you just as happy to see each other.

“I-I’ve been coming here almost every day,” You admitted as he looked at you, hands finding yours and holding onto them as tightly as he could. He never would have thought you would come here, he’d only mentioned it once and how much it meant to him.

“I only told you about this place once,”

“I could see how much it meant to you...I thought I might catch you here and then we could...Go on a normal date.” He let out a breathy chuckle as he nodded his head.

“Sounds good to me. I’m paying.” He told you as he kissed your lips softly. All of a sudden all of those weeks away from one another melted into nothingness. It was just the two of you together once again giving you the freedom to date, exchange numbers and hang out without some pesky app or their rules in the way.

Tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa @justbangtanthingz @stillwithlix

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