#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

turtlespancake · 5 months ago

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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU

#rambling #surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING #“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything #but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over #“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS #“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them #they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering #“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL #but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE #is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act #is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too #actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back #had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard #i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out #sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently

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