#but that bitch deserved the abuse cuz she thinks shes in love with her abuser lmao

[inc0rrectmyths]

Saw someone on Insta call Colleen Hoover the second Jane Austen.

I'M GONNA COMMIT MURDER NOW

[fandomhopped]

first love/late spring

pairing: fwb!logan howlett x fem!reader; 2nd person pov

summary: logan and reader have been sleeping together for a while with an unspoken rule to keep it casual, but that goes to hell when logan catches feelings. however, reader is an independent boss bitch and hates men<3

warnings: heavy swearing, hella mentions of sexual situations, substance abuse, brief sexual content(nothing serious fr), creepy guy in a bar, blood, bar fight, mentions of sex trafficking and resulting trauma, daddy issues, fluff, angst asf, lowkey scott slander (i dont mean it i love him)

word count: 9.1k

a/n: reader has light manipulation abilities but theyre not mentioned that often lol, also reader takes a lotta shots at jean just cuz she pisses me off. side note: idk the true meaning of the song i used as the title, there are many different interpretations. i found the song after i had alr written the story and the lyrics resonated pls don’t jump down my throat if it doesn’t align <3

there’s not a millimeter of space between you and logan as he holds you against his body. you’re sleeping soundly, and he watches you breathe all night, not bothering to even think about sleep for himself. the sun came up three hours ago, he felt it on his back.

when you drink, you always wake up early the next morning. you two drank a lot together last night. and like every time you drink with logan, you ended up in his bed.

he tries to block the sun from your face with his body so it won’t wake you up. he knows when you finally do, this little illusion that you're his will all be over. everything you said last night won’t matter. you’ll go back to your room. he’ll stay in bed. you’ll both go back to acting like it never happened.

you always leave him swiftly. you always go downstairs and drink coffee from the same mug and act like nothing happened. without a stutter, it’s a routine.

since he moved into the mansion, he wasn’t ignorant to the fact that the female teachers were attractive. and, of course, he was first drawn to jean. he won’t deny that he still harbored some feelings for her when you came to his room all those months ago, but she made it abundantly clear that she loves scott.

then one night, you slipped a bottle of whiskey into the mansion and invited him to join you in drinking it. you said some things that made him sit closer to you. that was just the beginning. he woke up the next morning to an empty bed but distinctly remembers you falling asleep next to him, so he assumed you woke up and left.

logan is a pro at acting like some things never happen, but he wasn’t expecting you to act the same. he dismissed it as a one-off, drunken night.

then it happened again… and again and again, and you continued to act like it never happened.

which, he was fine with. this wouldn’t be the first time he’s had a with-benefits situation, but there’s something different about you. you’re badass. you’re beautiful. he really respects you. you fit him perfectly.

and you’re mean. you don’t smile all that much, really only when you’re drinking is what logan soon found out. you’re not always outright mean to people, it’s usually deserved. you don’t take anybody’s shit. you’ll let people know when they’re in the wrong or they’re pissing you off. you’re sarcastic and rudely witty.

that was just another thing that attracted him to you. but, God, were you the meanest in the mornings, especially when you’re hungover.

unfortunately for logan, he has developed a small, tiny, itty bitty, barely-there crush on you. just catching a scent of your perfume has him rolling his eyes in the back of his head and white-knuckling whatever is directly in front of him.

the thoughts of you under him, on top of him, in front of him, on your knees for him plague his mind all. day. long. then last night, you had him rock solid from just a few drunken words.

“you’ve ruined all men for me,” you said as he kissed down your neck.

“hmm?” he hummed as his hands roamed your body under your shirt.

“nobody could ever fuck me like you do,” you told him, pulling at his hair roughly. he lets out a deep groan at the feeling.

he’s never picked up his pace of getting someone’s clothes off so quickly. he ripped your favorite pair of pj shorts in the process, mumbling that he’ll buy you a new pair.

with him deeply inside you, one hand wrapped around your throat and the other sending you over the edge with his mouth leaving marks all over your chest, you say breathily, “fuck, you’re perfect for me.”

the moment hasn’t left his mind since.

“i’m hot,” you mutter, pushing the sheets from your legs. “you’re hot.”

“oh, yeah?” he whispers in your ear, his lips turned up.

“i’m about to have a heat stroke,” you return, squirming around and shoving his arms from around you.

he lets go of you and gives you some space, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. a deep sigh leaves him.

“i’m gonna throw up,” you tell him, groaning and curling up into the fetal position.

“are you serious? don’t puke in my bed,” he says, leaning up to look at you.

you roll your eyes. “no, i’m not serious,” you snap at him.

“‘you wanna take a shower?” he asks, his lip curling up at the thought of you ruining his sheets (and not in the way he usually prefers).

“i feel like shit right now, logan. i don’t want to fuck you in the shower,” you tell him roughly, sitting up and glaring over at him.

he watches you stand up out of his bed and put yout shirt on. “‘s not what i meant,” he grumbles, looking away from her. he throws the sheets off his body and grabs his jeans from the night before.

he runs his hands down his face and then looks up only to see the door closing behind you as you leave him. again.

“whew, late night?” ororo asks you as soon as you walk into the kitchen, changed into some presentable clothes rather than the ripped shorts and oversized tshirt you walked back to your room in.

you ignore the woman as you open the cabinet to grab your mug. the same one you use every morning.

but it’s not there.

“where’s my mug?” you ask, glancing around the kitchen to see it’s not just ororo but also jean and scott there.

“is this yours?” scott asks, holding up the mug in his hand.

your gaze darkens. “yes,” she grits out, tightening her jaw.

“that’s my bad. i didn’t know this was yours,” he says, standing up and walking over to the sink. “i’ll wash it and you can use it.”

you feel your skin crawl as he turns on the hot water. “stop,” you say lowly, walking to him and turning off the water. “you can’t—.” you stop yourself as you breathe heavily. you rip the cup from his hands.

“hey, it’s just a mug,” ororo says to you, “what’s up?”

“it’s not—,” you cut yourself off again and take a deep breath, shaking your head. you turn on the cold water from the sink and carefully wash the mug.

“seriously, what’s going on with you?” jean asks as scott rejoins her side.

you roll your neck. “i’ve been here for years, and you don’t know which one is my mug?” you ask scott, not looking anywhere but your mug until you’re sure it’s clean.

“i never noticed before, ‘sorry,” he says then turns to jean with a shrug.

the light beaming in through the window shines a little brighter as you continue to shake your head, muttering things under your breath that the others can’t make out.

“it really is just a mug,” ororo says carefully, looking over your figure in concern.

“except it’s not,” you retort, attentively drying off the ceramic with a towel. you then pour some coffee into the mug and hold it close to your chest, turning back to the other mutants.

“what—,” jean begins but logan walks into the kitchen just as she starts and she stops herself.

her surveys everyone’s demeanor then looks at you. “what’s wrong with you?” he asks, walking to the cabinet and grabbing whichever cup is closest to his hand when he reaches in. he pours himself some coffee and turns back to them expectantly.

“scott was using my mug,” you tell him, leaning against the counter.

“why?” he asks scott, eyeing the man.

“to drink coffee. why does it matter?” he asks in return, scoffing.

“it’s hers,” logan returns, his stare hardens and he looks at scott like he’s an idiot.

ororo laughs humorlessly. “what does that mean? it’s just a mug,” she asks, looking between you.

you glare at her. “it was my father’s and now it’s mine.”

“the same father that sold you?” jean asks, her face contorting. you shift your weight uncomfortably. “why would you want that?”

“why don’t you just back the fuck off, bitch?” you snap at her, stepping toward her.

“woah, girl, calm down,” ororo intervenes, holding her hand toward you like you’re a wild animal. you scoff. “we get it. it’s special to you. that’s all you had to say.”

you roll your eyes at them. you leave the group and return to your room. logan watches you go then turns back to the others with his eyebrows raised. “did you say sold her?” he asks jean.

“when he found out she was a mutant—,” she begins.

“jean,” ororo interrupts her, shaking her head at the girl.

jean continues, “—her father sold her into a mutant sex trafficking ring,” she reveals, looking only at logan, “that’s where we found her and then brought her here.”

his face contorts, and he looks down into his coffee. “shit,” he comments.

“she doesn’t talk about it to anybody, and, out of respect, we don’t talk about it either,” ororo says pointedly at the telepath.

logan is seething all day over the new information. he hates to think you went through that for God knows how long.

after the incident, logan doesn’t see you for a while. he doesn’t know how. you’re a teacher and you live down the hall from him, yet he still doesn’t even catch a whiff of your perfume.

“logan, meet me in my office,” he hears charles’ voice in his head. he obeys and within a minute, he’s standing before the professor. “you should leave her alone for a bit.”

her brow furrows. “come again?”

charles says your name and logan clenches his jaw. “she’s destructive right now. you should let her be.”

“is she okay?” the wolverine asks, concern growing in his stomach, and it makes him feel sick.

“she’ll be just fine. this happens from time to time,” he tells him, pressing his lips into a thin line. “you know of her circumstances.”

“her circumstances?” logan growls, scowling down at the old man, “you knew what she went through and didn’t think to tell me? you know what’s going on between us and didn’t think maybe i needed to know that? what if she had a breakdown when we were together? i wouldn’t have known what was happening.”

charles’ lips turn down into a small frown. “that’s not my information to tell.”

logan storms off in a huff, muttering under his breath.

that friday, he’s smoking a cigar in his bed, looking out the window at the moon, which is shining rather bright tonight. he hears a few quiet knocks on his door. he opens the door, expecting it to be a student.

“hey,” you say, waving a bottle of jack in his face before pushing past him into the room. “'hope you don’t mind, i got started without you.”

“you always do,” he comments, closing the door, putting out the cigar, and following you to sit on his bed. “listen —.”

“i think i like that vodka more than this. this one makes my mouth taste weird,” you tell him, taking another sip out of the bottle before handing it to him.

he holds it and sighs. “look, we should—.”

“—take our clothes off?” you finish his sentence, smiling darkly at him. “i mean, it’s a little early, but i agree.”

“that’s not what i—.”

“—was going to say?” you guess his words, cutting him off again. “look at us finishing each other’s…” you trail off, looking at him expectantly. he sends you a deadpanned glance. “this is the part where you say ‘sentences.’ i think i’m better at this game than you are.”

he takes a long sip from the bottle before he looks at you. “can you be serious for a second?” he asks.

you scoff and take the bottle from his hands. “i don’t come to you like this to be serious, logan,” you say, putting the whiskey to your lips again.

“why do you come to me at all?” he asks quietly and gruffly.

you take another sip and place the bottle on the floor, scooting closer to him. “because you’re hot,” you say in a sultry voice, putting a hand on his thigh and slowly dragging it up, “and you call me ‘princess’ and ‘darling’,” you continue, reaching for his belt buckle. he doesn’t do anything to stop you, “and your hands.” you push the buckle out the way and unbutton his pants, dragging down the zipper slowly. “and your tongue.” you reach your hand into his pants. “and this.”

he breathes heavily, completely lost in the euphoria that is you.

he forces himself to snap out of him and shakes his head. he pushes your hand away and stands up, taking a few steps away.

“what’s wrong?” you ask him, grabbing the bottle and standing also. “do you need some more?” you ask, holding the drink out for him, confusion written all over your face.

he holds his hands out in front of him as if to deny the offer. “it’s…,” he trails off, pushing a deep breath through his nose.

your shoulders drop along your face. you tilt your head in disbelief. “oh, my fuck. they told you,” you conclude. you turn around and sit back down on the bed. he stays silent, just looking at you. “okay, so what now? you don’t want me anymore ‘cause i’m used up?” you ask, slurring your words a little.

“no,” he denies without hesitation.

your sober personality is back even though you’re still drinking the whiskey like you’ve been in the dry desert for weeks without water.

“then what is it, logan? you don’t wanna do this ‘cause my hair isn’t blood red?” you ask next, raising your brow and looking at him expectantly.

his face contorts. “what’re you talking about?” he asks gruffly.

you chuckle at him. “i’m not a fucking idiot, old man. i know you want jean so bad, but she doesn’t want you so i'm second choice” you say, then you shrug with one shoulder. “i’d’a gone with ororo, to be honest. have you seen her? i’d show her a good time,” you add.

“that’s not what this is,” he tells you, taking a step forward but not within arm's length of you.

“then what is it? just fucking tell me,” you say loudly, the room lights up as the moon shines brighter. “d’you want me to tell you ‘bout how i was a good, little daddy’s girl until i almost blinded my brother when i first got my powers? how about how my dad gave me away like he didn’t love me? d’you want me to cry in your arms about how i was passed around by mean men like a blunt when i was 14? why do you think i can only let you fuck me when i’m drunk?” you ask him sarcastically, but your voice breaks on your last words. you let out an unsteady breath. logan watches you cautiously, unsure of what to do. “is that what you want, logan?! you wanna be the big, strong man here?!” you ask him, crying now as you yell at the man in front of you.

your body slumps forward as you let the tears drop from your eyes, and you grip the bottle in your hands like a lifeline. you feel the bed dip beside you and the bottle pulled from your hands. you move your hands to your face, trying to pull yourself together.

you feel his big arms envelope you and pull you into his chest. that’s when the waterworks really break out.

logan’s never been to best with tears. he hasn’t had to deal with them too much, but his first instinct was to hold you as close as you would let him. he hates to see you like this. in all honesty, he wants to hunt down every man that ever put a finger on you and rip them to shreds. but, for now, he’ll hold you. as long as you would let him.

you wake up with araging headache. you’re hot, burning up, actually. you kick the blankets from your legs and turn over in the arms of the incredibly attractive man in bed next to you. you look at his sleeping face and sigh.

this is the part where you leave, but this time, you just snuggle into his chest and fall back asleep.

logan wakes up later than he usually does after nights like the last one. it’s normally the sound of the door closing wakes him up. but, this time, he sees your cute face smushed against his pec. he doesn’t fight the smile on his face.

you stir quickly after he wakes up. you rub your eyes and look around the room, then to logan. “i’m gonna puke,” you tell him, the remnants of the smile fall from his face. you pull away from him as your face blanches. “seriously,” you add and sit up quickly.

he reaches for the trash can beside his bed and holds it in front of you just in time. he holds your hair back with a look of absolute disgust while you clutch the bin close to your face and your body jerks with each gag.

once you're done, you wipe your mouth with the bottom of your shirt. you groan loudly and stand up from the bed. “i’m gonna take this with me,” you tell him, holding the can in your arms and moving toward the door.

“keep it,” he remarks, his lip curled up.

monday morning rolls around quicker than anybody wants. you walk into the kitchen and grab your mug, pouring coffee and looking around at others in the kitchen.

they’re talking amongst themselves, mentions of grading papers and some stupid answer a kid put as their answer on an assignment.

you just listen and sip your coffee peacefully. that is, until logan walks in. you move from in front of the coffee pot for him to get some. he nods in thanks as he joins your side.

“this coffee is awful,” you comment, pouring it out in the sink next to you. he chuckles at your comment but doesn’t say anything. “scott, did you make the coffee this morning?” you ask him. the three look over to you, almost as if they didn’t see you come in.

“yeah,” he answers.

“don’t do it again,” you tell him, filling the mug with water and leaving the kitchen.

as you watch a group of students take a test, you see logan walk back in his jacket he usually only wears when leaving campus.

“hey,” you call out. all the students look up at you. “keep taking your tests. i’m going to the hallway for a second,” you tell them and move into the hallway. “logan,” you call and he turns around, walking back toward you. “where are you going?”

“to pick up some more cigars,” he answers, gesturing over his shoulder.

“will you pick me up a pack of cigarettes?” you ask him, reaching into your pocket for some money.

his brow furrows. “you smoke?” he asks.

“sometimes, yeah,” you reply, handing him $20.

he shakes his head. “i’ll cover it,” he answers.

“thanks,” you reply, placing a hand on his forearm before returning to your classroom.

he looks down to his arm and blinks. that’s new.

“brad, i know you’re not talking during a test. are you begging for a failing grade?” he hears you say before he turns back toward the front door of the mansion.

logan returns a while later, after the school day is over and the students are training. he finds you in your classroom, grading papers.

“hey,” he greets. you look up at him.

“hey,” you return, eyes dancing all over his body.

“these are for you,” he says, holding out the page of cigarettes.

“right, thanks,” you say and reach for them, your fingers brushing his as you grab them.

“‘you need any help?” he asks, looking at the papers before you.

“do you know anything about math?” you ask him, pursing your lips.

“uh, no,” he answers, shaking his head. “don’t you have an answer key or something?”

“i have to check their work to make sure they didn’t just get the answer from the person beside them,” you reply, looking back down to the papers. “some of these kids are dumbasses.”

he chuckles. “no kid wants to do math,” he comments.

“how would you know? weren’t you born before there were schools?” you ask him without looking up. there’s a beat of silence before you eventually glance up at him. “was that insensitive?” you ask instead.

he just shrugs. “i’m not that old,” he says, sitting in the desk in front of yours.

“sure,” you respond and go back to grading.

the two of you sit in without a word as you grade, and he watches you in complete admiration. after a while, he stands up and walks toward the door.

“you’re leaving?” you question.

“‘didn’t think you wanted your room smelling like cigars,” he replies.

“i’ll join you,” you say, grabbing the pack he bought you and putting the tests in a drawer. he doesn’t object and you two walk outside, to a bench in the gardens, away from the students.

the two of you sit in silence as you inhale smoke and slowly release it from your lungs.

“i’ve never seen you smoke before,” he comments after a while.

“i only smoke when i give up drinking, i only drink when i give up smoking,” you answer, tossing the burnt cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it, then picking another one from the pack.

you pick up your lighter and flick it a few times but it won’t light. you put your head and lighter inside your shirt to block the wind, trying again and failing again.

“motherfucker,” you mutter as you try to cover the lighter.

“here,” he offers his lighter with the fire shining brightly above it. with the cigarette between your lips, lean toward the lighter, looking up into his eyes as you do. he meets your eyes and clears his throat, closing the flame into the top of the lighter and shifting his eyes to the cigar between his fingers. you let a small smile rest on your face afterward.

“so you’re not drinking anymore?” he asks you.

“figured i should go on a sobriety cleanse for a bit,” you reply, “‘t’s probably for the best.”

“probably,” he adds and silence takes over again.

he glances over at her for a second and he sees you bite at the skin of your bottom lip the way you always do when you’re thinking, contemplating. he’s tempted to ask what’s on your mind but before he can break the silence, you let out a hard sigh.

“i don’t apologize for things,” you begin and pause, biting at your lip again.

“okay…?”

“i don’t apologize for my actions or words because i stand by every decision i make,” you continue and pause again. he’s looking at you and you’re looking directly ahead of you. “i’m not good at apologizing,” you sigh again, “but i’m…sorry for some of the things i said the other night. there’s no excuse. i apologize. take that how you will.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he replies.

you huff. “so i just said all that for nothing? you could at least accept the damn apology,” she snaps at him then rubs the crease between her eyebrows out.

“you called me an old man. i don’t know if i want to accept your apology,” he teases with a crooked smile. you send him a look that turns into a hint of a smile before turning your head away.

“i need to get back to grading those tests. i’ll see you later, logan.” you stomp out another cigarette and stand up from the bench.

“see ya, sweetheart,” he says lowly but you still hear it.

as you look over tests, ororo enters your classroom. “ooh, what’s got you all smiley?” she asks as she strolls in.

the previous smile you didn’t even realize you were wearing falls when you look up at the mutant. “huh?”

“don’t try to deny it. i saw that smile,” she says teasingly. you just roll your eyes lightheartedly. ororo’s brow furrows as she sniffs the air. “are you smoking again?”

“yeah, i quit drinking,” you answer, “what’s up?”

“i was coming in here to ask you if you wanted to go out with the rest of us friday night. we’re planning on going that bar we always go to,” she says, “but if you’re not drinking, i don’t wanna make you go.”

“yeah, no. that’s okay,” you decline the offer.

“alright, if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join us. sober or not,” she adds before leaving out.

the week drags on painfully slow. it’s a week of tests and starting new units in all your classes and you really just want to bang your head against a wall and tell the kids class is canceled.

by the end of it, you actually do want to join your colleagues in going out to that bar in town that they love so much. you offer to be the designated driver, not trusting anyone but yourself to drive you anywhere.

“are you going with us to the bar?” you ask logan as he rummages around the cabinets for something to eat.

“no,” he answers, opening the fridge, “are you?”

“yeah, i’m driving,” you tell him. there’s a beat of silence before you add, “you should come.”

he turns toward you at your words with a crooked smile. “oh yeah?” he questions, “why? ‘you want me there?”

you scoff with no heat behind it. “i was just trying to be nice,” you say.

“you? nice?” he asks, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

“what? you don’t think i’m nice?” you ask him defensively, crossing your arms.

“no,” he replies, not skipping a beat.

“i’m very nice,” you counter.

“no, you’re not,” he denies again, also crossing his arms.

in his white beater, crossing his arms makes his arms flex and you can’t help but let your eyes wander to the veins of his biceps.

“you have nice hair. there, nice,” you compliment, then add right after, “you’re not balding or anything, which is quite common for men your age.”

“you’re not good at this,” he tells you, looking at your plate to see what you're eating.

“do you want some?” you ask him. you hold your plate across the counter for him to pick off of. he grabs one of your chips and eats it.

“thanks,” he mutters.

“look at me being nice,” you comment and he chuckles deeply.

“shut up,” he returns playfully.

the five of you go to the bar that night, logan joining at your request. he sits at the bar, ordering drink after drink and scanning the bar every so often to make sure you’re alright.

you spend most of your time at ororo’s side. before long, you’re accompanied by a couple of men. you and ororo share side-eyes as they continue to tell stupid jokes. ororo excuses the both of you to go to the bathroom only to move next to logan at the bar.

“having fun?” he asks sarcastically, looking at you then glancing to ororo.

“they could’ve at least been funny, but they weren’t. there terribly unfunny,” you tell him, sitting next to him on a barstool and ororo laughs.

“yeah, that was awful,” she comments and sips her drink. “oh, i see jean and scott. i’ll be back later.” she leaves the two of you. you order a club soda and turn to logan, who is hunched over his drink.

“you have really bad posture,” you tell him as the bartender hands you your drink. he just shrugs and refills his glass with the bottle the bartender left in front of him. you dig your finger into his spine and he straightens up, looking at you wildly.

“why?” is all he asks.

“it’ll help you look more presentable. you’re not looking for anybody tonight?” you ask and glance around the bar for women.

“no, i’m not,” he answers and slumps back down. you dig your finger into his back again and he looks down at you. “stop,” he says seriously.

“oh, what’re you gonna do? stab me?” she asks him challengingly. he looks back down to his drink and shakes his head dismissively. “oh, come on. you’re good-looking, you’re good in bed, you’ve got this hot, animalistic thing going on. why not look for somebody?”

“‘cause i don’t want anybody,” he answers. “did you say i’m good in bed?”

“well, yeah,” you confirm with a one-shouldered shrug.

he stares at you for a beat. this is the first time you’ve ever mentioned it before. you don’t talk about the things you two have done. ever.

“i would know,” you add after he stays quiet.

“you would know what?” ororo asks as she rejoins you, along with scott and jean. they all stand directly behind the man, looking at you expectantly. logan’s waiting for you to make up a lie.

“that logan’s good in bed,” you answer, gesturing to the man next to you. his eyebrows raise and he looks directly in front of him, a smirk playing on his lips as he drinks down all of what’s left in his glass and refills it again. you surprise him more and more every day.

“he’s what?” ororo questions, shock written all over her.

you roll your eyes. “you don’t have to do the clueless bit. jean reads minds and i know she��s told you two,” you state, pointing between ororo and scott.

“what? i haven’t—i didn’t—,” jean stutters over her words, laughing through them.

“liar,” you clock it in a high-pitched tone, sipping your drink. “i’ve heard you talk about it before. i’m just surprised you haven’t mentioned it yet.”

the three of them exchange glances. “okay, yeah, we knew. we thought you would deny it anyway so we didn’t bring it up,” ororo admits.

logan stays silent, drinking like he’s been thirsting for days. why are you doing this? “so…you two are…,” scott trails off. you shrug as your answer. “hmm.”

“hey, sweetheart, you never came back,” the guy from early comes up behind you and wraps an around your shoulders. you tense up at the feeling.

you remove his hand from you. “don’t touch me, and don’t call me sweetheart,” you tell him. he laughs and looks at your colleagues.

“why not? looks like everybody’s got a matchup here but you. let me help you fix that,” he says and runs the knuckles of his finger across your collarbone. he points at scott and jean, then logan and ororo. “i can make you feel good,” he whispers in your ear.

“seriously, don’t touch me,” you tell him firmly, pushing his hand off your shoulder and shifting your seat away from him.

logan doesn’t watch the encounter but he’s squeezing the glass in his hand so hard it’s about to shatter. he feels the red-hot rage crawl up his neck as he does every time he encounters some asshole in a bar.

“don’t be like that, sweetheart,” the man continues and reaches for the strap over your shoulder. chills cover your arms and legs and a shiver runs down your spine. you grab his hand roughly and shove it away from you.

“touch me again and i’m gonna break your fucking nose,” you tell him.

“ooh, i got a feisty one,” he comments to the rest of your group, laughing. “i like that.”

scott takes a step forward. “you need to lay off, man,” he tells him, trying to keep this civil and contained.

the man only laughs harder. “what are you gonna do, glasses?” he asks him and slings his arm over your shoulders. “come on, baby, let’s get out of here. i got a real nice spot for you in my bed.”

“she already told you not to touch her, bub,” logan chimes in, still looking straight ahead and not sparing the boy a glance. there’s a tightness in his shoulders as he uses all his self control to stay in his seat.

“woah, tell your bodyguards to stand down,” he says to you but your only response is to rear back and deck him directly in the nose.

he stumbles back, holding his nose as blood drips into his hand. “you dumb bitch—,” he lunges toward you but logan whips around and grabs him by the front of his shirt, shoving him up against a wall.

“what’d you say?” the mutant asks him lowly, a growl deep in his throat.

“hey, take it outside!” the bartender yells at the man.

“why don’t we do that? you wanna take it outside?” logan asks the scared man in his grasp, shoving him harder into the wall.

“logan, let’s go,” ororo tells him as she walks with you toward the door. he doesn’t move. “logan!”

he drops his hold on the man and turns his back to him. he doesn’t even take a step before the dumbass says, “yeah, listen to your bitch.”

logan turns back around and absolutely socks him in the jaw. the man falls to the ground. logan walks after his friends, rolling his shoulders.

when logan gets out to the car, he sees you in the driver's seat, holding your hand closely to his body. he sits in the passenger seat and looks at you.

“are you okay?” he asks you carefully.

“did you kill him?” you ask him flatly without meeting his gaze, and he shakes his head. “you should’ve,” you say coldly and start the engine, driving out of the parking lot and back to the mansion as quickly as possible.

when you arrive, logan accompanies you to the lab for jean to look at your hand. he wasn’t going to say anything but watching you cradle your hand makes him change his mind. “are you alright?” he asks you.

“fine,” you reply sharply, clenching your jaw tightly. he watches you bite at your lip.

“speak your mind,” he tells you, just outside the hidden elevator. you just shake your head at him. “if you don’t, you’ll take it out on jean.”

“why can’t i just do that?” you ask lowly.

“‘cause she doesn’t deserve it,” he reasons.

you take a deep, frustrated breath. “what happened tonight was stupid,” you say, “dumb fucking men thinking they can get whatever they want whenever they want. now my hand might be broken because i couldn’t—,” you cut yourself off and take another deep breath to steady yourself. “i’m done talking about this,” you say and open the door to the hidden elevator.

he blocks your path. “no, you’re not,” he says and waits for you to continue. that’s when the dam really breaks and you last out at him.

“it’s stupid. all of this is fucking stupid. i could’ve handled myself back there. i didn’t need you to step up and be my big, strong savior,” you tell him angrily, voice rising.

“i know,” he returns.

you’re shouting now, “then why couldn’t you just let me do it? i could’ve stopped him. i’m stronger now. i know how to fight now. i don’t need anybody to save me. i can save myself. i don’t need you. i don’t need any of you.” your voice cracks as the anger starts to shift into the feelings you hate to feel. “i’m not gonna let anyone take advantage of me ever again. and i’ll break every bone in my body before i let some drunk narcissistic man ever put his hands on me again,” you say your peace and breathe heavily and unsteadily.

there’s a long pause, the weight of your words hanging between you. logan doesn’t interrupt, giving you the floor to get it all out.

“i know,” he repeats himself deeply, “but you shouldn't have to.”

you feel that familiar ache in the back of your throat as tears threaten to spill out. you squeeze your eyes shut tightly, pushing all the emotions back down. “my hand really hurts,” you tell him quietly, not trusting your voice. he puts his hand gently on your back and leads you into the elevator then into the lab.

by the time you’re in front of jean, you’ve pulled yourself together and let her examine your hand. you did break your hand. she wraps it up for you and sends you to your room with some pain meds.

logan doesn’t leave your side until you’re at your bedroom door. “i don’t want you to come inside,” you tell him quietly. he stays silent. “it’s just that you’ve never seen my room before and this is mostly where i use my abilities and it’s messy right now and—.”

“‘t’s fine,” he interrupts your rambling. “i don’t have to come inside.”

“right,” you mumble, hand gripping the doorknob. “good night.”

“‘night.” he doesn’t make his way to his room until you slip into yours, locking the door behind you.

the next mid-morning, logan walks into the kitchen to see jean scolding you like a child. he’s surprised you’re just sitting there and taking it without a word.

“i’m serious,” jean says, finishing her tongue lashing.

“i know,” you mumble before jean offers logan a soft ‘good morning’ as she leaves.

“what was that about?” he asks you, moving over to the table where you sit with paper spread in front of you.

“i need to grade these papers but my hand is broken and dr grey told me it would only cause more damage,” you explain, sighing heavily and holding the pen in your healthy hand.

“let me help,” he says, snatching the pen from your fingers and the paper from in front of you. the numbers on the sheet are all greek to him. he doesn’t know what the hell he’s looking at.

“you can’t,” you tell him, pulling the paper from his hands. “you don’t know how to do it.”

“then tell me,” he offers, moving his chair next to yours. “tell me what’s wrong and i’ll write it down.”

you shake your head a few times before giving in. “fine,” you cave and look over the student’s work. you place the page in front of the man and point a certain part of a problem. “okay, so he should’ve foil’d here but he didn’t so the rest of the work is wrong. put a line through it and write ‘foil’,” you instruct him and he follows your orders.

“like that?” he asks, showing you. you nod in approval.

“your handwriting actually isn’t that bad. i was expecting a lot worse,” you comment, leaning into him as you look over the next problem. “that one’s right, so put a check,” you tell him and he follows.

the process continues on. every time there’s a gap of silence as you examine the math that he would never even try to understand, he watches you in complete admiration. there are practically hearts in his eyes while the gears turn in your brain.

as the next few days progress, you and logan spend more time together than you ever have. whether he’s in your classroom during your free period or you watch whatever movie’s on tv together on the couch, if someone’s looking for logan, you’re right beside him and vice versa.

of course, the others have taken notice of it. it’s new and after you confirmed you had been sleeping together, they draw their own conclusions about the two of you.

“‘y’know what i would like to see?” you prompt logan as you watch a show with a lumberjack in it.

“what’s that, darlin’?” he asks, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“you chop wood,” you tell him, looking up at him from your spot under his arm.

“chop wood?” he questions.

“yeah, like, axe, wood, outside, shirtless, sweaty, and muscly, chopping wood,” you tell him, “lumberjack style.”

“lumberj—.”

“with the cigar,” you add excitedly, cutting him off. “maybe add in a little dehydration too.”

“i think you’re drooling a little bit,” he tells you, pointing at your mouth as a lazy smile rests on his face.

“probably, that’s hot,” you tell him, looking back at the screen.

as the credits roll, logan looks down to see you sound asleep with your head resting on his chest. he carefully picks you up in his arms and carries you to your room.

he opens the door and pauses his movements, eyes dancing across your room. there are no personal touches on the walls or shelves. it looks exactly like his did when he first got to the mansion. well, except for one obvious difference.

your room looks completely dilapidated, like an abandoned home that the sun and time have destroyed. the dark color of the wooden floors and furniture has faded, every surface dry and brittle. in some parts, mostly near the window, the wood is completely bleached of its color.

he lays you in your bed and covers you up, taking in the room once more before he leaves.

“why don’t you have another name like everyone else?” he asks as you sit next to him on the bench where you now regularly take your smoke breaks on.

“like a last name? i do have one,” you answer, flicking the butt of your cigarette onto the pavement.

“scott has cyclops, marie’s got rogue,” he elaborates, glancing over at you. you’re sitting right beside him, his arm thrown over the back of the bench in a way that your head rests on it.

“i don’t know. i guess i never understood why i have to change my name just because i’m a mutant. i am who i am, human or mutant,” you answer, messing with a loose thread on your pants. “plus, seeing the way you made fun of the others when you first got here for their names—i’d never even try to think of one now,” you tell him, making him chuckle. you smile proudly at making him laugh. “you looked so cute when you first got here.”

“are you saying i’m not cute anymore?” he asks in mock offense, looking at you sideways.

“i mean, when i first saw you, you had that big jacket on and you were so clueless. a little less muscle too,” you recount, poking his toned stomach to which he curls to the side. your jaw drops. “are you ticklish?” you ask him, a smile growing on your face.

“no,” he replies sharply and gruffly, straightening his posture.

“oh, my fuck. you so are ticklish,” you accuse and dig your fingers into his ribs, attempting to tickle him.

a deep laugh leaves him, and he grabs your hand in his, his facial expression dropping quickly. “stop,” he tells you in warning. you just laugh in his face, reaching toward him with your other hand, cigarette still between your fingers. he grabs your other hand before you touch him, cigar between his fingers. “no,” he denies you.

you look toward the mansion and see the sun reflecting off a window. you bend the light so it’s shining directly in his eyes, almost burning them. he shuts his eyes tightly and brings one of his hands up to his face. as quickly as you can, you reach back into his side.

he quickly stands up and looks down at you. “enough,” he says and points a finger in your face.

you stand up also, but you’re shorter than him so he’s still looking down at you. you decide to stand on the bench, now a little taller than he is. you don’t say anything, just look down on him with a straight face.

logan can’t help the smile that breaks his scowl. “you’re an idiot,” he tells you, raising his eyebrows at you.

you mimic his gesture then flick the cigarette butt onto the ground. “you are cute, wolvie,” you say and ruffle his hair. “i get the whole towering over people know. this is a power trip for sure,” you comment.

“oh, really?” he questions and puts the cigar between his lips. he grabs you around your waist and throws you over his shoulder like you’re as light as a feather.

you let out a surprised squeal as he walks away from your bench with you in his hold. “put me down. bad boy, bad dog,” you chastise him hitting his lower back. he doesn’t listen so you just hang over his shoulder as he drags you into the mansion.

you grab his ass abruptly and he stops in his tracks. he places you on the floor and tilts his head as he looks into your eyes, taking the cigar from his mouth. “‘bad dog’?”

“yeah, wolverine,” you say, gesturing to him.

“a wolverine’s not a dog,” he tells you, smiling down at you.

your brow furrows. “yeah, it’s like a small wolf, right?” you wonder and feel like an idiot when he laughs at you.

“no,” he answers, shaking his head.

“liar,” you accuse.

he tells you, “go to the zoo. there’s some there.”

you look up at him in disbelief. “you’re fucking with me,” she states and he shakes his head in complete amusement. “if you’re lying to me, i’ll—.”

“what? try to blind me again?” he asks, cutting you off.

“maybe i will,” you challenge, crossing your arms.

he pauses for a moment, considering. “maybe i want you to,” he says and his tone drops, like, two octaves when he says it.

you’re suddenly aware of how close the two of you are, how his hands gripped your waist just a moment before, how effortlessly he carried you. the playful atmosphere shifts and you feel heat creep up your neck and across your cheeks. you don’t blush, especially not around him.

“logan,” is all you say softly. he notices the change in tone. he notices everything about you, every detail, every flaw, every perfection.

for a moment, neither of you speak. the air between you is charged. your eyes travel all over his face. he really is such an attractive guy. and when you peel back the tough guy layer, he’s a sweetheart.

“thanks for the ride,” you say lightly, trying to break the tension.

he nods, gaze still locked on you. “anytime,” he remarks, his voice rougher than it was a moment before.

you both stand there for a few more seconds, not really sure where to go from here. his eyes shift from yours to your lip as you chew on it. his jaw tightens and he looks away from you, taking a step back to give you some space.

your heart pounds against your chest unfamiliarly. everything about this feels so new to you.

“see you around, pup,” you say, your voice back to its teasing tone.

“yeah,” he adds, watching as you turn away and walk back toward the mansion.

more days pass and you spend more time with logan. he notices that you make fun of him more, teasing him for small stuff.

it’s only when he’s in the laundry room that ororo catches him alone. “hey, logan,” she greets. he mumbles something of the same. “so…you look pretty cozy with a certain mutant.”

“huh?”

“you know what i’m talking about,” she says, leaning against a washing machine.

“it’s nothing,” he tells her, starting the machine he threw his clothes into haphazardly.

“‘doesn’t look like nothing,” she returns.

“leave it alone,” he grumbles, turning to leave the room.

ororo steps in front of him, placing a hand on his chest. “please, don’t hurt her, logan,” she requests.

“she doesn’t want me the way you think,” he tells her.

“you can’t seriously believe that,” she says, looking back and forth between his eyes.

at that very moment, you turn the corner and your eyes widen. you ignore the sting in your chest as you let out a loud “woah.” ororo quickly turns around and takes a step away from logan. “i didn’t mean to interrupt,” you tell them with your hands up in surrender, but that was exactly your intention when you spoke up.

“you weren’t interrupting anything,” logan tells you, watching you move past him to grab a laundry basket.

“i’m not judging,” you reply, walking back to the door. you turn back last second and look at ororo. “hey, if he asks you to wear a red wig, say no,” you tell her with a wink before leaving.

“i never—,” logan cuts himself off, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. “i never did that,” he says to her.

“God, i hope not. what the hell,” she remarks, shoving his arm. “she was jealous. you need to go tell her nothing happened.” he sighs deeply and takes a step forward. “‘you really still think she doesn’t want you?”

he doesn’t reply and follows after you. you’re walking as quickly as you can up the stairs when he catches up to you. “hey,” he calls after you.

“don’t worry, buddy. secret’s safe with me,” you tell him, picking up your pace as you reach the top of the stairs but he keeps in step with you.

“there’s not a secret. we were just talking,” he says.

you place a hand on your bedroom doorknob. “really, you don’t have to defend yourself to me,” you say and open your door, slipping inside. before you can shut it, logan stops the door with his hand. you look at him through the crack in the door, pushing your lips into a thin line. “uhm…”

“there’s nothing going on between me and storm,” he tells you.

“i’m not gonna tell anybody,” you return, frustration rising in your tone. you push against the door but your strength is in no way comparable to his.

“i’m serious,” he tries again, almost pleading. “i don’t want her, i want—.”

“jean? look at that, finishing each other’s sentences again,” you cut him off with a false laugh.

“come on, darlin‘,” he says, tilting his head to the side.

you groan. “i just thought—,” you stop yourself, sighing. “it doesn’t matter what i thought.”

“it does matter,” he tells you, pushing the door a little wider. you move into the space between the doorway and the door, trying to block his view into the room. “tell me,” he encourages, getting closer to you.

“i thought you weren’t a whore,” you retort, giving him a hardened look.

“that’s not what you were gonna say,” he states lowly, looking deeply into your eyes. “what was it?” you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, biting into the skin. he reaches his hand to your jaw, his thumb pulling the lip from between your teeth. “don’t do that. you know it drives me crazy.”

“i thought maybe you wanted me for more than sex,” you admit, feeling embarrassed as the words slip out. you clench your jaw, preparing for the rejection. a smirk slide onto his face and you drop your head. “okay, bye.”

you move back and push against the door again, but this time he pushes the door all the way open. your eyes widen as he takes a long stride toward you and pulls you back to him by the back of your neck. he presses his lips against yours feverishly to which you obviously reciprocate.

he pulls away and rests his forehead against yourself, breathing heavily. “i want you in every way possible, sweetheart,” he says.

you swallow thickly, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him away. “you don’t want me,” you tell him. he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back into him, your chest pushing against his.

“i do,” he counters.

“you don’t,” you respond.

there’s a beat of silence. “i do,” he says again. you just look up into his eyes. “i want you. i’m not the best person for you, i know that. i’m older and unhappy and i probably can’t be there for you emotionally,” he lists then shakes his head at you, looking at you like you make the world go round. “but i want you, i want every part of you—the good, the bad, the hot and sexy, and the rude and snappy. everything.”

you’re quiet. you don’t know what to say, what is there to even say? in your head, he’s always wanted jean and you were just a place filler. you’ve been under the impression that you caught feelings and he didn’t reciprocate them at all. maybe you’re wrong just this once.

“i want you too,” you tell him in a whisper. he watches your brow furrow as you look away from his eyes. his face falls. “but—.”

“no ‘but.’ don’t say ‘but’,” he begs, loosening his grip on your waist.

“logan, i can live with you not being there for me emotionally, but i don’t know if you can live with me not being for you sexually,” you tell him. dread takes over your body. this beautiful, morally grey, perfect-for-you man is in the palm of your hand and you’re letting him slip through your fingers.

her visible confusion deepens. “you’ve been perfect for the past few months,” he tells you, misinterpreting your words as insecurity.

you shake your head. “i meant it when i said i can’t fuck you sober,” you tell him slowly, avoiding his gaze completely. you feel his hands move from his loosened grip to a hover over your hips. you can’t read his mind like you usually can. logan wears his thoughts on his face, perfectly readable when he’s mad or happy or just his normal grumpy. but now, it’s like trying to read a book in a language you didn’t know existed. “i’m sorry,” you add when his silence becomes too much.

“i don’t care,” he tells you as soon as you finish the last syllable.

“you know i don’t apologize for shit and you don’t care that i’m sorry?” you ask him. you go to push him off again but he pulls you back in, this time wrapping his around your neck, smothering your face in his burly chest.

“i don’t care about sex,” he tells you as he rests his head atop yours. you return the embrace and hold him around his ribs. “i don’t care if you never touch me again. i love you.” your eyes widen and he feels your body tense up. he chuckles, pulling away and smiling at you. “too soon?”

“a little,” you tell him, nodding. you then smile back at him.

———

a/n: i haven’t written in a long time . pls don’t rip me up if u hate this🙏

[frudoo]

reader convincing slasher 141 to let her help when they kidnap and torture someone. she wants to be the victim that escaped or found a why to escape but in reality she's leading the other victim(s) into a trap to be caught. its all to see the look on their face and get praise from the 141 I love all your writing and hope you stay safe.

You are so sweet! I'm glad you're enjoying the series!! <3

Warnings: Dark!Fic/DDDNE. Suggestive content. Mentions of bad people. MDNI.

“No. Absolutely not,” John crosses his arms, stern voice booming throughout the dining room.

     “Why not?” You huff, setting down your fork to focus your full attention on the guys.

     “Jus’ cuz y’live with it doesn’t mean we want y’involved,” Simon grunts, unimpressed.

     “Ah dunno, hen,” Johnny frowns, crystal blue eyes boring into yours. “Wha’ if one of us mistakes ye fer one o’them?”

     “Do you really think that would happen?” You challenge, cocking an eyebrow.

     None of them seem sold on the idea, but you’re not giving up. There’s a need for vengeance hidden deep inside of you that’s just begging to burst out, and although you can’t stomach anything the boys actually do, just knowing that you’ll be helping them scrape the scum off the face of the earth is enough. There’s only one of your husbands that hasn’t voiced his opinion—the very one who can’t resist your charms.

     “Kyle,” you puff your lips out into a pout, batting your eyelashes at him. “Please, baby, just let me help you all out?”

     His eyes widen and he throws his hands up in surrender, shaking his head vigorously.

     “Uh-uh, don’t put tha’ on me, dove.”

     You groan dramatically, standing from your place at the table. 

     “I’m thinking about practicing abstinence.”

     Long story short, they took a chance, and now you’re covered in blood and dirt, wearing nothing but an old nightgown and leading a group of horrified victims into the barn with the promise of hidden escape routes just inside. It surprises you how gullible each of them are, and you almost feel bad for leading them straight to their death. You have to remind yourself that these are rapists, abusers, and cons getting what they deserve. You have to remind yourself that your lovers would never do this to someone undeserving of only the worst fates.

     “No, it’s okay! I-I’m just- hey, you’re fine,” you coo to the sobbing woman who refuses to let go of your arm.

     Eventually you just have to shove her down and slam the barn doors shut, locking her along with every other piece of walking garbage inside. You pass John on his way towards the very building you’re leaving, yelping when he pulls you right into his burly arms.

     “Clever girl. Shoulda never doubted you,” he murmurs, lifting his mask to press a hot, lingering kiss to your lips.

     “Get it over with. I need to wash the fucking bitch’s germs off of my skin.”

     John laughs, giving your ass a tight squeeze before replacing his mask over his face. 

     “Hope you were jokin’ about that whole ‘abstinence’ thing,” he hums, pointing his pinky finger up to a window on the second floor of the barnhouse, where your remaining three lovers have been watching the whole thing play out, hands down their trousers. 

     “They look hungry.”

[chaifootsteps]

I used to dislike blitzo back in season 1-early 2 cuz he was a jerk and abusive and the story tried to justify it with "womp womp he has trauma and he only wants to tough moxxie up so it's okay". And i was supposed to feel bad about his ass? After he verbally abused moxxie throughout all his work life and threteaned to rape him and his wife? Used verosika and stole from her when they where together? Disrespected barbie's boundaries and feelings? Dissmissed fizz's feelings and unintentionally said "hey i lost my mom bitch, you aren't the only one who has problems" WHEN FIZZ WAS FUCKING BURNED ALIVE, LOST HIS LIMBS AND HORNS AND WAS TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU I MIND YOU.

To be clear, i don't hate asshole characters. I hate when asshole characters are being coddled and excused by the narrative, it's insufferable to watch. Blitz was this. An asshole character who was excused by the writers and you are expected to feel bad about his ass when he got humilated in the club. Thanks i hate it. And it sucks because i love the concept of an abusive asshole realizing he is an abuser and trying to do better to people who he wronged. But i couldn't handle the awful execution.

And guess what?

FUCK MY ASS I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I feel so bad for blitzo now lmao. The 2 times when blitzo isn't at fault THE WRITERS TRY TO PUT ALL THE BLAME ON BLITZO AND EXCUSE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE HIM JUST WHY. Loona physically assaults him when he respecfully asks her to be nicer to their clients because IT'S HER FUCKING JOB BITCH THEY WILL LOSE MONEY IF YOU DON'T AND IT AFFECTS YOU AS WELL YOU LITERALLY LIVE WITH HIM. And then she kicks him in nuts when all he did was apologising and attempting to hug her? What's funny? What's funny about this 22-years-old grown ass woman physically harming her adoptive dad who provides her a linvinghood, job and unconditional love when she is an adult? And saved her from a toxic and dangerous enviorment? Are you trying to say *he* is in the wrong in this situation and *deserves* to be beaten up by a person he has never wronged in his life? Are you kidding me? Why am i supposed to hate stella, who is abusing stolas, but expected to like loona, who is abusing blitz and moxxie, and to find her abuse "funny" and slapstick? You can't have both, pick one vivzie!

And speaking of stolas...i don't even want to talk about it. I feel horrible for blitzo. Yes, he was an asshole and was only using stolas to get the book, but it was stolas who made their relationship transactional. It was stolas who reffered to blitzo as "his impish plaything". It was stolas who only ever asked from blitzo sex and sexually harassed him on daily basis. He even put a cigrette on his horn likw wtf? It was stolas who made the deal when blitzo couldn't even consent because he, you know, WAS ABOUT TO GET MURDERED BY THE CANNIBALS? AND STOLAS WAS FULLY AWARE OF IT? And the list goes on and on...

"You think so low of me?" GO FUCK YOURSELF LMAO THIS IS SO BAD I CAN'T. ARE YOU REALLY THIS DELUSIONAL?

Okay, even we pretend none of the above happened and was retconned, blitzo *owns you nothing* stolas. If he doesn't have feelings for you it's not *his* fault. He shouldn't have his buisness tied to your bird ass to spend time with you (and in case if he doesn't, he will lose his job, how fair) if he doesn't love you. Get a life please, you only known this guy for *less than a day* and it was *25 years ago*. And he was completely disinterested in your hobbies and was literally only there because he was manipulated by his father and *sold to you like an object or a toy*. And you still obsessed over this random dude who doesn't even like you and love him more than your own daugther whom you known for 17 years??? Wow, such victim fel bed for him he so pooor :((((

And it doesn't help how not only the writers, almost an entire fandom thinks blitzo is abusive towards stolas or deserves to be kicked out by stolas or be beaten up by loona ("for comedy*) it's not funny. It makes me sick. It's the same as blitzo beating the shit out of moxxie and people praising *blitzo*. But not it's stolas abusing blitzo and people praising *stolas*

Fuck it.

I used to hate this guy, but now i can't feel anything but pity him. It's tragic how everyone blames him for things HE ISN'T EVEN AT FAULT HE DESERVES BETTER.

You're preaching to the choir, Anon! Blitzo is a tremendous asshole, multiple characters' lives are worse for knowing him, but he's a victim here -- and a chilling reminder of just how far people will go to defend a charming, attractive abuser that knows how to play the sympathy card.

[luvvixu]

Let gooo!

But seriously I’m only one here who doesn’t feel a ton sorry for Satoru? I know satoru getting assaulted by Yukie is wrong and there no excuse for that.

But kind of don’t totally blame her. I mean Satoru treated y/n shit for 5 years straight and all of a sudden one drunken night spent together she get pregnant and he all of sudden started to treat her well and just gave her some human decency and wanted to work on and fix his marriage. 5 years of marriage of hating her and being a ass to her when she didn’t nothing wrong to him and didn’t want this marriage either. Now she get pregnant and gave a preterm birth to their son because he was still mad about her and complaining about her too! When she treat him so well even tho he was ass to her. She still cook for him, getting him his favourite treats, running his bath for him meanwhile he still treats her badly and doesn’t feel guilty about it until when a baby is involved and their both nearly lose their lives. Now he all guilty about how he treats her and cheating on her.

He was all like I’m suffering too! Like bitch how exactly? She didn’t abuse you or cheat on you, insults you or didn’t avoid your existence etc. All you had was You don’t know how much pressure I take just because of that Fucking marriage and everyday that I woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups, I’m getting so, so tired and I just want to….

And that it nothing about y/n behaviour or how she treats him. He just seems to hate her because he was forced to get married despite she didn’t want this either. So he taking all of hatred on her because he can.

So I can’t really blame Yukie here because imagine how your lover who seems to hate his wife with every fibre and inch of his body that he was forced to marry.All a sudden decided to stop hating her and want to fix their marriage?? Because of one night stand and she gets pregnant??? Now you want to gave this marriage a shot because a baby is involved now??? 5 years of hatred and resentment is suppose gone now? And you’re telling the woman who you didn’t want to let go of. Once she found out you’re married man because you told her that you really love her and not your wife. You love her so much that a year ago you promised to her that you would leave your wife for her and in the present you were still seeing her even when you find out that your wife was pregnant with your baby. You were devoted yourself to her just 2 weeks ago. Only just when you think your wife and baby are going to die. You want to suddenly stop seeing her and fix your marriage just like that.

Sorry for the long rambling rant😖😭

I'M CRYING THIS IS THE BEST SUMMARY OF A FANFICTION OVER 17K WORDS LOL

thanks for this anon, this is actually my cue to drop some explanations and I ACTUALLY LOVE READING YOUR RANTS LIKE IF I WASN'T THE AUTHOR, I WOULD DO THIS TOO!!

anyway, let's get serious about this. i've read a lot of these things about how satoru should not end up with the reader and how he deserves bad things for doing this or that. i've also seen a lot of comments about satoru suddenly changing.

i think it's time for me to drop some hints, facts, and a lil spoiler about mind over matter. take note, this is long so pls bare w/ me.

background facts about mind over matter

i created this ff because i really love the song entitled mind over matter by young the giants and got really inspired by its meaning. if you listen to the song, you'll get a hint because that song literally describes the trope between satoru and the reader, at least.

this story has a lot of psychological and philosophical theories (i think this is a perk of being a psychology student?? lol) and ideologies because this is the life we lived in. although this story is purely made by the fragments of imagination, there's still a chance that this occurs in real life. and i only think rational and logical.

the end

OKAY IMMA START WITH THIS CUZ A LOT OF Y'ALL WANTED THE READER AND SATORU WOULD NOT END UP TOGETHER

ahem, so i know most of y'all are angry at our boy and i understand that. however, i hope you are not forgetting that this is an x reader sooo...

nah im just kidding! there are still some x readers where the ships doesn't end up together—i've actually done this once and it's on the 'the end', a gojo satoru angst oneshot. but does that mean im going to use that ending on this mind over matter? we'll see.

i actually already plotted the ending and after see y'all's comments, i don't think you all are going to like it, i'm afraid. but nevertheless, i will still try my best to make the best of it. so i hope you won't get angry nor disappointed in me :((

and lastly, i will based the ending on how the reader and satoru perceived the tragedy happened in chapter 5. do you get the hint???

satoru's hate trail

satoru was getting a lot of hate because he did some nasty things to the reader like cheat, emotionally abuse, neglect, argue, ect. i would be angry too because i do not tolerate these kind of acts. but if we become a person who has holistic perspective (meaning in my own words: by being objective, we look on both sides before making a judgement), no matter how much we hate this person, we had to see his side. which in this case, we still hadn't see his story completely.

here's a hint about satoru's side: think of yourself as someone who literally carries the safety of the world and is in constant pressure to the point of you developing a fear of failing and losing. you are in a state of big actions comes into a bigger responsibility. what would you feel? what would you do to escape this bullshit reality?

satoru got manifested a maladaptive coping mechanism. this is where people use strategies to manage stress, anxiety, or difficult emotions that may provide short-term relief but ultimately worsen the situation or create additional problems. in this case, satoru was in a constant pressure and stress because of expectation as being the strongest, plus, the things happened during his childhood till adolescence adds fuel to the fire. then this marriage came and satoru loses his mind because he thought someone was controlling him, which we all know, is not.

he never meant to hurt the reader or do those things. that was only the results of his maladaptive coping mechanism. some of the scenarios of this mechanism involves distraction, avoidance, and overcommitment could be observed. he does the things he doesn't wanted to do just to ignore what is happening. BUT that doesn't mean WE are going to let this or HIM slide, yeah?

personally, i don't hate satoru that much in this story even if let's just say im not the author. i know he was such a bad guy and even if he change, there's still a history left behind. but since i'm someone who trained themselves to have a deep understanding and patience, especially that i'm a psychology student, i know satoru would eventually get what he deserve both in good and bad way.

the marriage

now let's talk about marriage, let's see what satoru and reader feel about it:

on the reader, she doesn't want it because it deprives her from chosing what she really wants for herself, like finding someone to marry on your own. but growing up in a clan where your moves are limited and no matter how shitty they were, you couldn't tear yourself away from them. the readers are lacking of validation and support from their own blood—that explains why she still in for this marriage because she still hasn't realize that she can receive what she is searching aside from her family.

on satoru, he doesn't want it too. he feels like this is suffocating him even though the reader did not show any interest on hurting him. but little did y'all know, satoru was looking for someone to blame for all of the things that happened to him. and guess what? he blames it on the closest involved, which are you and the higher-ups. this behavior is called scapegoating. this involves unfairly pointing blame or responsibility to an innocent individual, often to deflect attention from the true source of the problem or to avoid personal accountability.

but what makes the marriage stay intact for over 5 years? easy, they both ran away from addressing the real issue.

i know i've mentioned in one of the chapters that the marriage was on the verge of getting divorced. but the reason for that is because despite all of their personal challenges that greatly affects the marriage, they somehow found themselves into the comfort of their circle. meaning, they still hold on to the very last string of hope that everything could still be fine.

the reader's resiliency

the reader could've divorce satoru long long ago. but what stops her from doing so? simple, her family and empathy for satoru.

it was actually supposed to be sympathy for satoru. but there is a great difference between sympathy and empathy. let's break it down for a lil time. sympathy is where you're acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance. while empathy is you are deeply understanding and sharing another person's feelings and experiences.

here's an example. the scenario is that your friend loses their pet: sympathy, "i'm so sorry for your loss. losing a pet must be really hard." and then empathy, "i understand how hard it is to lose a pet. i know the pain you're going through. let me know how can i support you."

see the difference? good.

ok, enough with the philosophy lesson. this may sound idk, confusing? but this is what the reader feels about satoru as of chapter 5, she had lost her faith in him as her husband but she trusted him a lot as her fellow sorcerer. she understands what he has been going through, and it's a little incomparable to her situation. the reader's back only carries her family, while satoru carries the whole world.

that was the leading reason why despite all of those things that happened, she possesses a deep understanding, patience, and support to the man even if it would destroy her in the process.

our reader is a hero, she's a tough woman. so we cannot just say that she should leave the guy and for another man when she's still not ready to let go of her principles inside this marriage. but of course, we would see what would happen next on the following chapters.

the mistress

i intended to make yukie michiga as an admirable woman. i've actually never seen a fanfiction yet where the third party is not aware that their partner was taken. so maybe, that's why i made her that.

but love blinded us all. we are the victims of love. an own witness of a broken down affair.

i actually love the character i made for yukie michiga. she was a fruit of a harsh reality that no matter how well you are as a person, there's still other factors that would destroyed you and forces you to cross the path you don't plan to.

yukie was against the idea of satoru cheating on you with her. she really tried her best to stop the affair but the love and selfishness wins.

satoru has lots of hook-ups and one night stands from before. but he decided to settle to yukie because he couldn't get enough. that's why her love grow and grow until it overflowed, and now, the self she was before has drowned and the corpse of her has comes to life.

kazuki, the baby

i don't have anything to say on our little sunshine who's unaware of his surroundings but he is the ray of hope for the reader and satoru.

satoru doesn't actually hate the baby even if he shown signs of not wanting the child but he really doesn't hate it. well in fact, he thinks that despite the baby is the fruit of two drunk and impulsive action, kazuki was innocent.

but the reader is innocent too? so why would satoru hate her? we'll never know.

anyway, kazuki be kazuki. he's a cute of mixture of the reader and satoru. since he's a preterm, i cannot say much yet on his appearance. but y'all are too lucky cuz imma say; his hair comes from you, his eyes are from satoru ofc, his complexity hmm maybe satoru? but yeahhh, so sorry i sucked at genes but y'all can think what does kazuki looked like as long as it's adorable cuz he's adorable!

nanami?!

UMMM I WAS A LIL SHOOK WHEN SOME OF Y'ALL MENTIONED THAT THE READER SHOULD'VE ENDED WITH NANAMI INSTEAD OF SATORU

and i must say, i was really taken a back cuz i never thought of that. should i do that? wouldn't it be a nanami x reader instead of gojo x reader?

anw, im so sorry to break it all to y'all, i don't plan doing that nor taking it into a consideration. why? because i have a better plan and i hope y'all gonna favor it.

here's a clue: i really admire how i paint the reader as the most resilient—yeah, that will continue to live. k bye that's it.

nanami was just a good friend for both the reader and satoru. he's good in his own and he's really helpful to those he held dearly, and that would stay that way.

sudden change

we're now down to final discussion for this post. i have a surprise at the end so better read this one out.

saw again a lot of comments, saying why does this satoru dude suddenly change after the reader is on the verge of dying...and other stuffs like that

but lemme asked you, can you handle a guilt and conscience when its other's life we're talking about?

in satoru's defense, this whole incident from the pregnancy complication serves as a biggest slap into his face, the coldest water ever drenched in his body, and the highest caffeine in his system—basically, his cue.

i don't remember saying that satoru doesn't really care for you anymore. he still have humanity towards you because deep inside him, he cares for you, but his exteriors tell otherwise. that's probably why ppl are confused and enraged about his instant care.

i think it's my fault for not clarifying it on the chapters so pls do forgive. but heyyy, at least now you know.

and i've yap a lot, y'all ready right for the surprise? good! cuz here it is....[click me, trust me]

SOOOOOOOO, YOU'VE COME TO THIS END??? 😭 i hope i managed to clear up your questions, but if not, i'm only one ask away so pls do not hesitate

[beastabyss666]

You know as a former member of Vivziepop's cult and yes its a cult not a fandom anymore I am disgusted by a majority of the people in it.

Like someone on the subreddit brought up it being kinda tasteless or fucked that they sold sexy Stella merch in bdsm gear when she's abused Stolas physically. The post was deleted quickly and judging by my experiences in the fandom people were stanning Viv or harassing OP and that has got me thinking.

Why is Stella in bdsm gear? Like Stolas and Blitzo are canonically into it yet you give the abuser that...

Like isn't a bit fucked that instead of choosing the canonical practicioners in your show you choose to put someone who uses pain not to pleasure but to slowly break and hurt someone.

We know Vivziepop has a merch rep so how did that get into production?

I also find it fucked that Vivziepop and crew are attempting to tackle an issue as serious as domestic abuse and do it so poorly by writing Stolas and Stella as bickering children next we see them. Then the staff has the utter gawl to sell merch in general of Stella and the fans buying it up.

Like I understand autograph signings slightly but that's the only merch Stella should have.

Vivziepop's cult loves to claim that they utterly depise Stella and deserves to suffer because she's an abuser so how dare people want nuance or not just a generically evil cartoon villain but the moment she is drawn in a sexy way they start throwing money at that.

Like I just want to know how these people if their friends ask about the character on the pin will explain "Oh this is Stella who's a sexy domestic abuser"

Then again am I surprised when Vivziepop makes merch of a rapist and most of the crew have some weird fascination with Valentino and not in the way that he's their best written villain way more like they are simping over him.

I think a lot of fandoms, especially nowadays, have a lot of genuinely bad people who really need help/therapy but see nothing wrong in what they do or just keep doing that, though they know it ain't okay. That's so frustrating when you can't feel comfortable even in an Internet community. But Viv's "fandom"(I mean exactly these two shows, although Zoophobia also had...... not very pleasant people) is surely something... Where'd you find so many blatantly oblivious and blind brown nosers which keep pretending everything's good when there's already tons of red flags from Vivienne? Yeah, that's a rare case. I don't wanna interact with this fandom or even talk about it, tbh. I still watch the show cuz it's fun to see how it manages to be worse with every episode, though sometimes I don't make reviews as many other people do it faster and better and I just have nothing to say(I need to take my jaw from the floor). Regarding Stella – well, I don't know on what principles Viv or her team makes merch with the characters, but aren't all characters being sexualized anyway? They even have merch with Chaz, a guy who, like, died in the same episode. And they keep doing new merch with this jerk. And that's obviously because there are people who simp for him. I don't know if Stella's merch may be an insult to those who practice BDSM, I'm not into it, tbh, and I don't take these things seriously, but I find this just a bland sexualisation. Well, it's "sexy merch", but yeah, Stella's all character is based on being a mean aggressive yelling bitch, and this thing....... it must be a character trait, I guess? Or just a sweet treat for rule34 artists, like most of the stuff Viv does. Again, I don't take all of this seriously, this sexy merch was made to tease and please the simping fans, but there's certainly a part of irony in it. Like, people in this fandom hate Stella so much that they shit on people who simply want her to be a more complex character, and they're........ still buying all this stuff. They........ enjoy Stella being "hot dommy mommy" and still keep hating her? Ngl, only Viv's fanbase can do that, lol. I've seen this fandom from the start and I can say that many people here always had some weird obsession with Valentino. I even remember some person passive aggressively telling me that "he's just very charismatic and it's your problems if you can't see it". When there were, like........ A musical clip and a comic where he just was being an abusive jerk. Yeah, that's a really weird fascination. Also, doesn't one of HH's crew, who is an animator or a director(don't remember correctly), has a rape fetish and has drawn an animatic on their beloved ship Angel/Val? Hella ironic that a show about serious portrayal of trauma and abuse has a crew member(or members) which legit....... find it hot or cute. That's sick af but I guess Viv doesn't care who she hires. Oh, that's definitely not a pit I would like to fall in. I'm not sure there's any hope on Hazbin portraying trauma or mental illnesses properly, but I'll still watch it anyway. Whenever it comes out....

[themagnusbane]

GAP The Series Episode 12 Thoughts

Aaaaaand we have made it to the very last episode. And boy it has been quite the thrilling ride. Now, I give my final thoughts on the series as a whole, at the very end of this post, but for now, I am strapped in, eager to see what Idol Factory will be giving us for our series finale (thank the universe that the angst is ending this episode cuz I don't think I have the strength to watch my girls cry for more than 2 episodes. Nope. I am not God's strongest soldier. I'm a weak ass bitch, who hates PAIN!!!!!), and keeping my fingers crossed that they stick the landing!

It probably says something horrible about me, but the glee I felt watching the previous episode snippet of Dishonourable Grandmother screaming for Sam as she walks away from her and her toxic mansion, is making me cackle so loud!!! Utterly satisfying!

2. Urgh!!! The pain I feel at Sam crying at the loss of her grandmother and asking if Mon will love her forever, because now she's separated from the one family that has defined her, and I am in so much PAIN!!! Because this isn't fair! This isn't right! Dishonourable Grandmother's abuse has so sunk into Sam that now she's floundering and wondering if there can be her without her grandmother and it's just heartbreaking because that's the codependency that abusers strive for, and my poor baby Sam, you deserve the world. You deserve better than what you got. Family shouldn't do that to you, especially when it's the only family you thought you had left. THIS IS PAIN!!!!!

3. My dearest Mon. YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!! Look at Mon trying to comfort Sam, and telling her that she can have both: she can have the love of her life, and also have the love of her grandmother, and Mon is willing to help Sam fight to have both. And I'm crying because although Mon is that kind and loves Sam that much, that she realizes just how much Sam loves her grandmother, and separating form her would break her, the Dishonourable Grandmother, doesn't have that same insight, or just doesn't care. She is willing to break Sam, so she can get her own way, and Sam would be forced down the path she wants her to take, and that is just so painful to witness, because those you love shouldn't want to break you like that. But alas, abusers can do nothing but abuse the love and care you have previously extended to them. This is breaking my fucking heart, and I need to give Sam ALL the hugs!!!

4. Wanna bet that the person calling is fucking Kirk?

5. Aaaaaaand I was right. URGH!!! This phone call is giving me the call of doom. Like the minute Mon picks up, it will be something guilt-tripping like Dishonourable grandmother is in the hospital, and she needs Sam to marry Kirk as the incentive for waking up from like a coma or something. Which if this is the path that they take with this phone call, I AM LOSING MY SHIT!!!!!

6. They really did. They really did "Your grandmother is in the hospital". How. Fucking. Original. And of course, all the work from the previous episode will go down the drain because even whilst in a coma, Dishonourable grandmother is still a MANIPULATIVE BITCH!

7. Thank the heavens Nueng is here!!! Maybe she can speak some sense into her.

8. Aaaaand I spoke too soon. Sam honey. It's not about winning or losing. It's about your grandmother's abuse and you breaking away from that. Because what I foresee is a lifetime of her being able to use her frailties as yet another weapon in the arsenal of her abuse, and my heart is breaking for Sam because her grandmother is so clearly succeeding. AND URGH!!!!!!

9. But she's right though to call out Neung though. They are both being sucked into Dishonourable grandmother's wishes. The difference is that her sister at least knows this and resents it. Whilst Sam is resigned to this. Which, once again... FUCK!!!! But she is right in telling Sam to break up with Mon though. Let baby girl Mon go. Keeping her on a leash after she's decided to follow Dishonourable Grandmother's wishes is unfair. And now we will probably have them separated from each other until like the last 10mins of the show. Which... URGH!!!!!!!

10. Yuki is such a good friend. My queen!!!

11. Mon saying that she should have known that their relationship wouldn't last, and that of course Sam would pick her grandmother... MY HEART!!! This show is so determined to crush my heart into tiny smithereens. I'm dead inside.

12. The fact that Tee and Jim rushed over immediately to be with Mon is making me cry even harder. I just love the way this show has depicted the relationships between these group of women. Sure they are Sam's besties, but they have also adopted Mon into their group, and now that their bestie has been forced to break Mon's heart, they are there to offer Mon emotional support, and even Kade is desperate to come over, even though she's on set. They really are the ideal! And now I'm crying all over again!!

13. Me too Jim!! I really hate it when people leave things unresolved. It's something that is making me really resentful in this episode. Sam's been told to break up with Mon. Choosing to instead ignore her calls and refuse to speak with her, is very frustrating. It's this whole leaving her plunging at a precipice, and the only person it serves is Sam, who's chosen her grandmother, and by extension has stuck her head in the sand. Mon isn't getting the closure to move on, and although I know why Sam is doing that, it still reads as selfish because Mon deserves to have that thread snapped off, rather than it being pulled taunt, keeping them still connected because Sam isn't brave enough to make that choice. But I guess that is something that Sam's been battling with this entire series: her bravery. And this yo-yoing is driving me nuts!

14. Hold up. So it's not ONLY Mon that she's ignoring? She's gone radio silent on everyone??? Fuuuuuuuuuck. Sam baby girl. You can tell that she's distraught. And now she's cut off all contact. And the only people she's with is Dishonourable Grandmother, and Kirk the trash heap. Urgh!!!

15. I repeat. Sam's friends are the best!!! The fact that they're the ones forcing this. To give Mon the chance to move on. But are also willing to provide her the support, if she does want to walk away without having this final conversation with Sam? Best. Friends! For real! No show's doing female friendships like these! I love these women!!!

16. Gghjghjghjghjghjg. OMG!!! OMG!!! OMFGGGGGGG!!! Yuki just called Tee BABY!!! Yes!!! I HAVE ASCENDED!!!! GAY JESUS THANK YOU!!! LESBIAN JESUS WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR THIS MORSEL!!!

17. Hold up! HOLD THE FUCK UP! They are married??? She is marrying Kirk for real???? And It's not until her wedding day that Mon gets this closure??? Not from Sam, but through their mutual friends? What in the??? SAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?? WHAT IN THE FUCKK IS THIS??? WHO WROTE THIS?? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS IN ANYWAY OKAY???????

18. You know what? At this point I'm just exhausted. And done. This conversation... That Sam is having THIS conversation, whilst IN her wedding dress, ON her wedding day, and from what Mon has said, has ignored all of Mon's messages to her, until this very moment??? Mon is a much better, kinder and more forgiving person than I am. Because I would be screaming right now. And now in a good, sexy way. Mon sweetheart. You deserved so much better than this!!

19. Sam, Dishonorable grandmother falling ill IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Her body's the one that is LITERALLY failing her. It's got NOTHING to do with you. I swear, if at some point, this show doesn't address this huge ass fallacy, taken straight from an abuser's handbook, I. AM. GOING. TO. RIOT!!!

20. Wait. I'm confused. So were those pre-wedding pictures that they were taking? What is with this editing???

21. Yes Mon! That's good news!! Travel to England. Move on. Find a new great love. Leave everything behind. I am not the one dealing with all of things, but I'M EXHAUSTED!!! I can't even begin to imagine how Mon feels.

22. You go Mon beloved!! Get that post-heartbreak haircut!! Plus, it just makes Becky's face look even more angelic and beautification!! Absolutely stunning.

23. The audacity of dishonorable grandmother to say she would do anything to make Sam happy, whilst literally listening to Sam cry her eyes out because she's being forced into a marriage she doesn't want, to make her dishonorable ass happy? I AM LIVID!!!

24. Awwww. Her coworkers cheering her on, is making me so sad. So many people love Mon, and are so sad to see her go. And you know what? Valid. I love Mon too, and if I was in this universe, I would be spitting mad that because of dishonorable grandmother's comfort and wishes, Mon wouldn't be in anyone's lives in Thailand anymore. I repeat, this IS ASS!!!!!!

25. I know the show is expecting me to be ecstatic about DIshonourable grandmother and Kirk having a change of heart, but you know what? Fuck that. This is too sudden. We have been given NO hints that this woman and Kirk and the trash heap have been reconsidering the vileness that is this goal of theirs. To have it suddenly pop up feels unearned. Like the story needs to wrap up quickly so boom! We will have her grandmother change her mind. And honestly, I am over it. We still haven't tackled the abuse. It goes beyond just you being selfish Dishonorable grandmother. And the fact that we can see traces of you making it about you, and not the pain that Sam is going through??

26. I know that this show wants us cheering Sam rushing to make it to Mon to tell her that she's now gotten permission from Dishonourable grandmother and they can now be together. But you know what? Fuck that. I sincerely hope that by the time she gets to Mon's house, her parents tell her that she's already left for the airport. And that when Sam calls Jim to ask where they are, they tell her that Mon's plane has already left. They need to make her work to earn my girl, Mon back. I am vindictive enough to want that. Mon deserves that. After all the bullshit Sam and her family have put her through. But knowing this show, we are probably not going to get that.

27. I swear, the only reason why the premise of this show is able to work is because Mon is a Mary Sue character. That quick easy forgiveness and hug that she's given Sam right now? If it were me, I am first screaming at her for almost killing everyone in the car, especially Jim who is HEAVILY pregnant. Then telling her that nope. I'm going back to England. Cuz fuck EVERYTHING!!!! But alas. Mon is a much better, kinder, and sweeter person than me. So here we are.

28. Now that I've resigned myself to the fact that we are getting this rushed resolution and reunion, I will like to admit that this scene of their confession and reunion is soooo cute!!! ALL THAT COLOUR!!!!! It's sooooo pretty!!

29. OMG!!! It's Saint. My pretty pretty boy!!!!

30. Sam being all "I shall shout to the world that MON IS MINE!!!!!" is giving me life!!! Yes! That's a good start to making it up to us and Mon. Make that love visible!! Shout it from the rooftops!!

31. Now I know the reason why they've brought Saint, is to show Dishonourable grandmother that there are other royal people like her, who aren't homophobic, and his words have got her thinking outside the box... But I really don't like her as a person, and I'm miffed that every time I smile at Saint's pretty face, she shows up!

32. WE ARE GETTING A WEDDING!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! This is sooo awesome!! And the colour of choice is Mon's pink hues??? Be still my heart!!!

33. Hold up a second. Is that Chin? Are he and Yha together??? I thought he was married??? Is he now divorced and with Yha??? I AM CONFUSED!!!!

34. I'm still wary of everything grandmother says. But I get it that this show is trying extra hard to remake our opinion of her, and even pulling in Nueng to do so. I don't buy it one bit. But I'm here for my girls being married, so I guess, I'll just have to live with that.

35. THEIR WEDDING DRESSES!!! I AM DEAD!!!! They both look so radiant. My babies. My hearts. MY LOVES!!! GAH!!!!!!!!

36. Their vows!! OMG!!! This is so beautiful. It's everything I've ever wanted. My heart!!!!

37. Hehehehe. I was hoping that either Yuki or Kade would catch the Bouquet. But having it be Kade and Kirk? Not bad. Not bad at all! Hehehehehe.

38. Awwwwww. That was beautiful. Her loving pink now because of Mon? My babies ARE married!!!!!

Aaaaaand we made it!!! This entire show was a rollercoaster. Am I still slightly miffed that we never actually tackled how abusive Sam's grandmother was? Yes. But am I surprised that the show didn't? Nope. I don't think it's a discourse that society is ready for. We are always so quick to sweep over the "sins" of our elders as long as they are moderately acceptive of our queerness, and I guess I am not surprised that Gap maintained that.

What I am happy about though is that we got a full-length GL series, that centered women and our queerness and also our community. Not only was it Sam and Mon's incredible love story, but we also saw two other sapphic romances. We also saw friendships amongst women. The type where they show up for one another, and also accept their friend's lover into their circle and become her friend in turn. It was beautiful and amazing and I hope we get more of stories like that.

And can I also say, I'm really appreciative that they didn't make any of the women catty? Like I thought for a second that they were going to make Nita this femme fatale. Especially with her noticing Sam and Mon's couple bracelets. But that didn't show up, and I love that!

GAP the series made my Saturdays enjoyable and I am definitely going to come back and rewatch it over and over again.

Thank you to everyone who came on this ride with me. If you want me to share my thoughts on other series like I have done for Gap, please come into my ask box, and drop your recs. Just make sure that they are gay and interesting and I will definitely get around to checking them out.

Until next time...

See ya!

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

(OC Universe questions)

4, 12, 23, 24

4.) what would you say is the message, if there is one.

frankly there is a significant overlap between CW and GD's messages. let's go down the list

trapping someone in a miserable place only continues the cycles of abuse and pain.

the bad things that happened to you really were that bad. you're not crazy. you're right to be angry. those grownups did fail you.

you can't fix someone. you can only love them.

dying for love usually just looks a whole lot like regular dying

you deserved better than you got; someone's gotta say it sometime cuz it's true. people should have told you you were awesome instead of taking advantage of you.

living your whole life assuming you'll die young makes it incredibly scary to acknowledge the fact that youll keep living, but you have to rise up to it. and you wont rise up alone

one day the sadness will end.

12.) okay be honest. pick a favorite oc from this ocverse.

i do the most with sicely but i gotta be honest. miss hero complex is the number one in my heart

23.) describe how everyones character gets butchered once in the public eye?

Sicely - CRANKY. spicy latina trope. verbally berating and doesn't actually like any of their friends.

Anthea - i think a lot of people would go some flavor of yandere-lite with anthea and really play up her sweet-but-murdersome angle rather than acknowledge she has very good reasons to be mad

Ari - she'd become the serious nerd who puts up with everyones shenanigans (Rose and Kanaya syndrome). shipped with lucerne only in a token gesture in the bg of opaljiro fics

Lucerne - who

Opal - the fandom darling, he is mischaracterized in ways you didnt even think god could invent. sweet idiot babbu who doesnt know what hes doing or the harm hes causing! no matter what happens people still ship him rosy-style with sicely. opalsicely is like kris x berdly but stupider and way more unhealthy

Jiro - opals boyfriend. his status as this is the primary bastion against opalsicely shippers

Araceli - irredeemable bitch of a woman who is morally worse than the men murdering children bc she doesnt react rationally to the fact that shes trapped in an apocalyptic time loop

Midas - i think a lot of people would, upon knowing midas' true colors, forget that he's a very charismatic and caring person. he'd be treated as a mastermind chessmaster manipulator who never really loved anyone, rather than a guy whose overabundance of emotional reactions causes him to act in manipulative and confining ways

Thomas - uke who has no agency, was forced into helping midas and is secretly really affectionate and sweet and moral deep down. "i can fix him"

[jakowskis]

im SO pissed i didnt listen to believe for a fucking year bc i heard bad things about it. im never listening to anyone else's opinions again cuz THAT WAS BRILLIANT. THAT WAS EVERYTHING I WANT OUT OF TORCHWOOD i mean it was still a bit shit highkey but it was EXACTLY what i want out of this garbage show. sooo fucking season one core (aka my fav) all sorts of dark horrific connotations and unhealthy dynamics but no emotional weight or responsibility xD once again i cannot tell if the writer was even fucking AWARE of a lot of the things he was implying but what i interpreted as being implied is making me fucking tear up the floorboards im. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

that was so cynical and bitter and awful and miserable and edgy and shitty ITS EVERYTHING I WANTED. i love torchwood being goofy i do but what draws me into the show and the reason it's become one of my most, uh, aggressive hyperfixations ever (which is ridic btw) is cuz its FUCKED UP AND UNHAPPY and that? was fuuuuucked. obsessed.

cult leader jack cult leader jack cult leader jack U DONT UNDERSTAND IT MAKES ME RABID and they ran with it i. stick figure violence stick figure violence. feeling rabid. AND HIS FUCKING SPEECH AT THE END. DOES HE KNOW??? hes so fucking deluded I LOVE IT. ITS FASCINATING he thinks hes good.... he thinks hes good... hes aware n he feels responsible and yet he doesnt SEE he doesnt see he thinks hes doing his best. NOOO it had the be intentional literally "jack tell us what that was about" "later lol" "sure yeah always later" and then hes like "YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY" GRRR JACK. JACK. also faith n believing.... ianto's trust. ianto's trust. you believe me like a god FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEE

jack always being five steps ahead + being 10x more competent than the team always makes me fucking roll my eyes but at this point i just kind of perceive it as the way tw constantly paints him as a deity figure. he can do no wrong

GWENS CYNICISM. TORCHWOOD BREAKING HER. TORCHWOOD BREAKING HER!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK it's toxic... it's toxic... this job gets inside you THIS JOB GETS INSIDE YOUUU. torchwood thesis statement: this job fucking breaks you.

FINALLY some good fucking tosh x owen food. DONT GET ME WRONG THAT WAS FUCKING AWFUL but that was sooooooo much more compelling than the fucking bullshit that canon gave us. owen being a toxic abusive fucking manchild + doing smth bad enough to tosh that she FINALLY went "wow THATS the man im obsessing over" like g-d i would've killedddd for that to happen in the show i HATE that she wasted herself on him. i hate it. her disgust and anger at him was so THERAPEUTIC for me 😭 idk what it says about me that the way i was grinning when they were arguing n bitching at each other was probs the closest ive ever gotten to actually shipping them HFKJDSF theres smth wrong w me. i just think s2 tosh is too fucking sweet and good and probably naive and i think owen could so easily fuck her up, like i don't think there's a world where he wouldn't hurt her tbh, and i don't want that to happen i adore her too much. like i don't think he's irredeemable, i ship him w other characters who i think could handle him, but i don't think tosh could, and that was validation of that opinion, you know? i'd be more willing to ship them if tosh was firm with him and didn't let him walk all over her, and it sucks that she didn't do that and got herself hurt and THATS what it took to make her call him tf out and tell him how much he sucks. ig a lot of why towen bugs me sm boils down to the fact that im not comfortable shipping someone who's kind of awful with someone who idealizes them and doesn't seem to grasp the scale of how bad they are. that's a recipe for an unhealthy dynamic and if i didn't like tosh i might be intrigued by it ngl HFSKDF but thats my babygirl and the idea of putting her thru Being With Him disgusts me. she deserves better until he gets his fucking shit together. which he never does and she never gets to have something good bc she was waiting for his shitty ass lmao YAYY!!

owen was AWFUL in that btw. and i adored him in it. my fav owen is an owen who's spiraling and destructively fixated on something for selfish purposes to the point that he doesnt care who he hurts to accomplish it. he's so villain coded fhsdkfjdsk he redeems himself in the show and i love that but the audios further explore the fact that he's got such a darkness to him he SO EASILY can be pushed into destroying everything. hes constantly on the precipice of monstrosity and cruelty bc of his own hurt. it's like hes so full of rot it leaks out of him and infects others and he hates it but he cant help it. i will never get over the doctor with poison fingers oh he makes my heart ache. he's just so misguided. he's so broken.

which brings us back to jack's speech. (him talking to the cult leader lady) "They were broken, and you were the person they turned to for help. If you don’t accept their problems, then don’t offer yourself as a solution." literally im gonna think about this for months. HE DOESNT SEE!!!!!!!!!

g-d and ianto's orientation or whatever. that was Fantastic ianto insight. he's so much more interesting when he's away from jack it's almost impressive.

i am just. gdddddddddddddddddddddddd. i am so distraught. help meeee

[opinated-user]

I'm somewhat new to all thie

And I just

That clip of lily talking to Lolo about dropping genshin...

If I didn't know what I did about abuse, manipulation, and cults

I'd say how the fuck is this happening

I feel so bad for Lolo because looking through her account it really seems she loves genshin and don't egt me wrong I know there's alot of problems with it

But now she thinks she addicted to it and is a bad person because it seems this dumb lily bitch can't seperate fiction from reality. Because lily cant understand that you can still enjoy and play a game while also criticizing the bad parts of it.

And she thinks that's how friends are supposed to act like to each other. Man I don't even take that shit from my siblings???

Like just from this recent stuff I can tell how shitty and toxic she's being? And I found you AFTER seeing lolos posts about it

I know she's an adult but still. It sucks to go through that shit even as an adult. I'm not religious but I pray for her safety and health cuz that's alotta of red flags. Speaking from experience.

Lolo does seem like a sweet person so it's heartbreaking to see her being treated like this and then watch her still insisting that LO is nothing but a sweet friend to her. nobody deserves to be treated like that by people that are supposedly their friends.

but still... we're nothing but strangers on the internet. talk to Lolo will only make her double down and reinforce the narrative that LO wants her to believe, that "vultures" are out to get her and must be protected. we have seen this very thing happen before with ginger and even before that with Lizzy.

if Lolo is lucky she'll follow the path of Lizzy and break out that toxicity on her own, get therapy and heal. if she's not... well, we already know how that is currently going with MO.

the only thing we can do is watch. anything else it doesn't depend on us and we'll only make matters worse by trying to intervene.

[chainsawcorazon]

only in my old age does it hit how awful of a decision it was for angel to not only transplant the fang gang into a timeline where connor lives, but erase their memories too! it’s like the irreparable damage in season four was merely amplified. of COURSE angel doesn’t feel like his struggle’s getting him any closer to shanshu because he keeps not DEALING with this shit. he’s outchea changing timelines, wiping memories, rewinding days, etc. of COURSE he still harbors resentment against wesley bc the motherfucker’s repressed his feelings of both love and hatred towards him because how DARE one of his closest male friends try to STEAL his child and raise him on his own iNSTEAD OF WITH ANGEL HIMSELF???

and not to mention gunn/fred! they raised that boy for months! they played mom and dad while angel was hallucinating at the bottom of the ocean and wesley was enjoying his dark’ness with lilah AND tryna bring angel back to the surface, and lorne??? lorne clocked that boy’s crazy! angel, in his inability to deal with his grief and loss, stripped his team of their OWN ability to deal with their grief and loss. because THEY deserved to grieve too! wesley deserved to grieve his ousting from the group AND THE FACT THAT HIS PROPHECY FUCKING CAME TRUE. fred should have been able to grieve the crumbling of her relationship with gunn, her shame of not thinking she’s ‘champion’ enough, and the decisions she made in the throes of the literal apocalypse and the revelation that one of her key abusers was a trusted confidant. gunn should have been able to grieve the death of the son that was not his but the one he DID look after, and the relationship he ended after years of feeling helpless himself with no one caring for his needs and declining mental health.

connor was a bitch. his entire existence outside of when he was a baby was the bane of everyone’s existence, BUT HE WAS THEIR CHILD. THEY ALL TOOK TURNS RAISING HIM AND LOVING HIM. they should have been able to grieve not only his death but all the what-have-could-haves!

the tragedy of ats is that the writing was so fucking bad, it inadvertently made angel, the hero, the BIGGEST clown in the show by never allowing him to truly and honestly deal with his pain, and by extension, his team’s pain. the memory wipe was paint on rotting plaster. it wasn’t even half the fix-it angel thought it was, and all it did was diminish the suffering the fang gang had to go thru. it’s always angelus this, angelus this, wolfram and hart this wolfram and hart that, it’s never ANGEL, PLEASE DEAL. and it’s fucking tragic, because after eight seasons of content, he DID deserve to have some respite, to deal with his pain, and finally be put to rest instead of selfishly taking from his friends what only a god could do.

and angel was never a god, and yet he had access to god’s powers. instead of letting this man fucking DEAL with his shit with his friends’ support, joss instead flipped the story on its ass. deaths and unreconciled losses and relationships everywhere, until angel was left to what? fight eternally?

lmao the man never actually left hell, and his poor friends got dragged into it with him. this is why we never need a buffyverse reboot ever again. imagine giving one of the central characters from your original show a whole ass show of his own, and not even writing a conclusion for him. all these years and for what? so he could hurt lorne, watch the others die, and become the very bastard buffy called him out to be thru andrew? it’s grimdark shit from hell and i hope we never have to see a reboot or continuation of it bc IF we did, and angel was STILL doing his clown shit, then buffy WOULD be the one to send his ass to hell again bc all the story would have proved is that you can put a soul in a man, but you can’t make him like it. and how’s THAT for a metaphor? forget trying to atone for your fucking sins, cuz your ass is grass and goin straight back to hell regardless 🤦🏽‍♀️

angel im so sorry joss that dumb fuck did this to you. you were a whiny cunt, but you were loved, and i have every faith that you finally made it out of this hell 😭

[halfmoth-halfman]

I woke up and read the chapter, and I was so nervous that sometimes I'd have to put my phone down, walk around my house and then resume reading, you're that good!!!

Phillip playing mind games with our girl by saying how much he loves her? By giving her the old white coat?? Bitch if you loved her, she wouldn't be going through this shit, is2g-

Shephard helping Canary snoop on him and Makarov?? Like I wonder if Shephard's been in touch with Price or maybe Laswell as well, finding the right moment to let Canary get the necessary info she'd need for her visit to the club.

I almost lost my breath when I saw everyone acting hostile! Making her drink salty af, her food raw.....on top of all the abuse and humiliation???? Canary is a better woman than me cuz I'd be throwing punches left and right at that! 👊👊

Plus when Valeria spilt her drink all over her......I swear my heart broke a little at that.(totally not cuz I'm in love with that woman, not at all </3)

And the relief when Ghost found Canary in the bathroom, finally saw what she's been going through and Canary finally cleared up everything!!! Like YES! GO CANARY'S PROTECTION TEAM, GO! [plus now she cannot hear Nikto call her that nickname, damn you Makarov]

(Although they couldn't protect her from getting shot tho💀)

When Price finally found out and was being all gentle and kissing the crown of her head and all??? I swear my heart melted (I think I might be forming a soft spot for our beloved Captain fr)

I think she won't die, just yet....but Canary might go through something in the upcoming chapters that make her wish she did.

And as much as I dread what's in store for her, I can hardly wait for it all to pass so she can finally enact revenge on those asshats. She deserves to have her "I-killed-these-men-cuz-they-wronged-me" and for Price to support her while she raises hell, or to raise hell for her himself....in case y'know, she's gone for good. (you can't hurt me, I'm prepared for the worst now 😭)

You're so good and you just made my week with the new chapter! Hope you have a great July<33333

- 🍄

honestly that was how i felt while planning it out and writing it sometimes, i’d think of something and then have to do a lap around my living room LOL

mob!graves is very much a man who needs things to in his control at all times. he knows they’re going to see the 141, and that canary very clearly had something going on with price and graves needs her to either be too distracted to think about price or (better for him) think there’s a small hope of him making things better for her with makarov and that he’ll try to protect her from him. graves might care for her but she’s more a possession to him, a trophy he’s won by being favored by her father and he doesn’t want to just let that go.

shepherd’s kind of a mystery right now, like he’s very clearly working against price but i think seeing what type of men he’s gotten in bed with has him rethinking whether he’s really on the better side of this whole ordeal.

i think if canary was in a better mental-emotional state, she probably would’ve. or at least she would’ve said something to graves and played it in her favor, because disrespecting the wife of the man you’re trying to make a deal with??? graves may not care for canary like he should but that’s still his wife, an extension of him, and he wouldn’t let that slide.

i love and hate that scene with valeria because it’s so petty and complete mean girl behavior but also i love valeria and if she hadn’t done that, canary never would’ve taken off the coat, ghost wouldn’t have seen the bruises, and they wouldn’t have tried to help her sooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ghost being the one to find her was always going to be the plan, and i think given what they now know about each other there’s going to be a kind of mutual understanding between the two…..after the groveling of course 😉 and yes, canary’s going to have a hard time with being away from graves and makarov. having to get re-accustomed to things like nikolai’s nickname for her, any kind of touching, her paranoia over being randomly taken for interrogation, it’s a lot she’s gonna have to heal from.

alskdjdj they really couldn’t 💀 but maybe someone got graves back for that 👀

price cares for canary a lot, like yeah he was rude to her about being with graves but he also was under the impression this woman he’s madly in love has betrayed him and purposely put his family in danger. he realizes how wrong he was now of course and they will have to do a lot of work to get their relationship even remotely close to where they were at before, but he knows the truth now and he’s gonna do whatever he has to make sure she knows she’s safe and that no one is going to touch her again.

canary still has a lot to go through, but it’ll all work towards a better future and that happy ending that she so rightfully deserves!!

she’s absolutely gonna get her revenge, her full john wick/season 8 daenerys/beyoncé with a baseball bat moment and the 141 are gonna be in full support of her because she deserves it and it takes care of their enemies!!! she may let price and the 141 get a few hits in, but it’s her revenge and she will have it.

thank you so so much, you’re so incredibly sweet and i hope you have a wonderful week/weekend!!! 💜

[plasticfangtastic]

Pssst... Try not to take what they say in interviews too seriously. Sometimes things will be intentionally vague or an outright lie to confuse or appease people or throw them off from something. Ennis is infamously known for that although I don't think everyone realizes he does this, but he's also working on the show with them.

They said Marie surviving "wasn't as simple as them needing her alive" and it's kinda funny to see fans take it one way or the other when that can be so many different things in context of The Boys universe and especially what we saw in Gen V.

"Plans to kill Homelander" is Billy every season without success, but even if he did, I think we'll see him getting haunted by Homelander big time after the fact. I still want Hughie to be the one who kills Billy but maybe it's beyond the grave Homelander who's there as Billy is dying instead of Becca. I think that would be fitting and Billy honestly deserves it.

There's definitely an element of groundwork they are following from the comics which has been pretty consistent but what I really suspect will happen is that the control virus will end up used on Homelander by someone to purely weaponize him. I think we'll see him become an attack dog and fully efficient berserker without getting to enjoy any of it and having a different sort of mental break after.

The comics sort of rob you of the gratification Homelander's death could give and I think they want to recreate that effect for the show but who knows.

The scary part for me is all the genocide apologism that is going around but The Boys is sort of meant to unmask people and have us reevaluate the way we think so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Still hurts though.

As far as Cate "going too far", he's technically right. Not because Shetty wasn't a complete scumbag who wouldn't deserve death, but because she'd been completely neutralized with Cate's powers.

Neutralizing someone by killing them and killing someone who has already been neutralized are two very different things. Just jail her and let her suffer and stew in her own anger and actions knowing she lost at that point because death is the easy way for someone like that. She asked for them to just make her forget but Cate should have forced her to remember or even live through the memories of her victims.

Actually, if they wanted to make Billy fail and survive with Homelander permanently haunting him I'd be completely down for that because fuck that genocidal shithead.

Lol I don't know if this will make you feel any better but just things to think about I guess.

I could see Homie being a ghost haunting Billy as Billy already hallucinates Homelander for some reason that they still havent explained but he its a cash cow for Amazon and they might not just give us 5 seasons so I doubt the execs would want to get rid of him... the writers ans Kripke might hate HL but audiences have proven he its likable and profitable and frankly the idea that all of HL fans are maga type fascist its absurd bcuz my gay brown ass sure as fuck isnt maga and i adore him.

Its getting clear that they will copy the comic to some degree like Homie building an army to have a coup and Billy wanting to use a virus to commit genocide.

Will disagree on Cate v Shetty cuz absolutely nothing she did was wrong in my opinion and yes am being an apologist but i dont feel anything for killing child abusers like absolutely nothing. this bitch was Voguelbaum lite and everybody in the woods deserved it. My only issue its just how jarring the writing and ediring made the whole scene play out but its likely the shortened ep count and time per ep did that.

My ideal ending its Homelander winning and realizing it didnt fix anything and that now he its even more alone than before. I think bad guys winning its the most subversive thing for the stale af genre of superhero media. I want him to win not bcuz i love him but bcuz it would be more devastating for the narrative and shocking to the audience if he did.

[aemonds-sapphire]

Hi!!! I'm so sorry if I just kinda jump out of the blue but I couldn't resist join the "discussion in your aks...

You know I think that fan art wise helaena and aemond are quite cute. Some artist are so talented but helaena in my opinion deserve and should definitely be alone. She went trought so much and mainly for the hand of men leave my poor girl alone. Most fans def use her as self insert or are into incest idk 🥴

For the Alys discourse I'm gonna be so honest with you I have absolutely no idea. I Emma I rceentrly reread the books (gift for Xmas so it's very recent) and a lot of person forgot that one book is like a book in their universe and everthing is basically a rumor (I will not trust mushroom with a cup of tea so why would I trust a whole story??) and the other are just paragraphs that talk about some events??

Hotd aemond is so dutiful and golden child and he lust for Revenge of his eye so fans are like "he would never go for a bastard strong!!" saying that she's or this bitch of a witch or a poor victim. The reality is that we don't know!! We have no idea it's up our preference / writer choice.

Sure I tought alys bewitching him was a valid idea because why would he save only her??? But also I mean if she's a witch she can be useful?? And maybe they just fall in love in the process??? At the beginning both of them had reason to help each other so idk. I use to not be a big fan of their relationship because I will admit when deep in hyperfixations I get jealous and I need a few days to remind myself they are fictional 😭 also It doesn't help reading angst fic with the cheating trope and her as the other woman BUT the moment I saw people hating her for non valid reason and just using her as an excuse for being sexists and mysoginist ughhh alys defender for life.

I will wait to see how the writer will do in season 2. Making her bewitching him after him being already victim of abuse would def a bad choice but also for how they written season 1 i really can't see this show aemodn juts fall in love it's so weird I'm so confused 😭🥴

One last thing I swear I'm so sorry but saying that aemond is a rapist/used her as prize....AND USING THE WHOREHOUSE EXAMPLE???

I have no idea whta kinda of show all this antis are watching truly.

So sorry for this long message expecially cuz a lot of things are already been stated I hope I didn't bother you too much.

Your blog is very lovely and you seems a very nice person. and it's a pleasure see when you post! Happy holidays❤️❤️❤️❤️,

Cordelia🤍🪐

Hi, Cordelia 😊 thank you so much for your input! Loved reading through all of it 🤭 happy holidays!

I’ve run into absolutely amazing Helaemond art! There’s no question fan artists are talented. I don’t mind shippers as long as they don’t insert themselves into other ship spaces and try acting holier than thou. At the end of the day, none of this is real and we’re just here to have a good time 😁

If they go with “she bewitched him” but just figuratively speaking then I’m fine with that. But if they pull that love potion bs then… 😅 also, why bother fleshing Aemond out if you’re just going to turn him into a cliché antagonist…… I hope they don’t go this route tbh.

Mushroom is the absolute worst out of all the narrators. He gives accounts of events that happened in King’s Landing when he was in Dragonstone LOL he thinks he’s Gossip Girl or something

Fire & Blood is to be read a history book, meaning we only know about the great battles and major events, but everything in between can be embellished and made up by those writing about it. Some people are taking that what happens in the book is canon and others are taking what happens in the show as canon… both are wrong approaches… they’re just different versions. This is not like ASOIAF…

[vettany2]

A few of my thoughts on Helluva Boss I need to get off my chest. Contains hella lots of spoilers (ofc).

As I finished the current season one and two eps from season two twice, I can see some things I didn't get earlier.

1. Millie and Moxxie

These two are really nicely presented as an ideal couple (ngl I'm jealous). Moxxie kinda gets his own arc more or less solved. I'd be interested on seeing more of Millie tho. She kinda only seconds Moxxie and has no other prominent role, which is a shame cuz that gurl deserves it. So far their relationship was harmonic and with the sneam peek on a possible Moxxie's ex boyfriend, I'd be interested in a marriage crisis arc of these two imps.

2. Loona and Octavia

In the last episode, it seemed like these two girls bonded over their fathers' fuckups and I'd like to see them helping each other in the tough situations they both are. Loona needs to learn how to rely on people and how to open to Blitzø more as he genuinely likes her (though more on that later). Octavia has to face her family being torn apart mainly cuz of her abusive mother tormenting her husband. Thankfully Stolas tries to assure her he's gonna be always there for her, which seems to work better on her depression. But having a friend in the same situation could help emotionally both girls.

3. Stella

She's a bitch. That's a fact. But sadly there's nothing, that would tell us why she is the way she is. Is it just the way she was brought up? Did she grow up in a toxic environment, that forced her to try and prove others that she's the one who has a high status? Or her personality is simply that bad on its own? I have a lot of questions regarding Stella and eventhough she's not very lovable character, I believe she is not that evil just because. I think there is some kind of reason, being it her upbringing or a toxic parent or anger issues. Which kinda makes me want some kind of character expansion of her.

4. Stolas

The last few episodes kinda took Stolas from the Supporting character realm and put him to the front, among the main characters. He loevs Blitzø but since Blitzø is more or less showing him he's not emotionally involved into their relationship, Stolas gets the idea that his love is not reciprocated. When the season one ends on a cliffhanger, leaving Stolas heartbroken and rejected, it appears as if Stolas decided to let Blitzø go for good. And I honestly don't know what to think about it. On one hand I get that Stolas is trying to release himself from all those years of various toxic relationships and I support that very much. He deserves to be happy and finally have a normal, loving and intimate relationship. On the other hand, he doesn't show Blitzø his own feelings, probably because he's scared he could lose the dysfunctional connection they share. He's just a very emotionally scarred and touch/emotion/connection starved insecure individual.

5. And finally... Blitzø

The main character turned out to be the most complicated one. At first he appeares to be a sarcastic, egoistical and killing-loving asshole. But he's so much more than that. His relationships are all a mess, mainly cuz of his internal issues. He is overprotective of Loona, partly because he loves her as a daughter, partly because he unconsciously uses her as a means to get some kind of emotional connection to feel loved even a bit. That's also obvious when he's forced to play in a tv show in the s2e2 and is supposed to give the dog to the hands of a girl but he suddenly gets overly attached to the dog and is scared to let him go as other people could hurt him like other people hurt Blitzø. That scene clearly shows Blitzø is not okay. He spies on MxM because he's fascinated/jealous of their idyllic relationship and craves that kind of intimacy. This also shows he's scared to get close to other people because all of his relationships ended up being either toxic or a failure. His ex Verosica or former friend Fizzarolli are a nice example of currently known failed relationships. Lots of reasons as to why he ended up this way is not even known because we got to know only his father, who practically abused him and used him to steal from stolas (and maybe more). We don't know what relationship he has with his sister and we know nothing about his mother. Also then there's the debate on his white spots. I believe because of those shapes and quantity, that they're scars and that he got then in some kind of na accident. In the Acid dream, it is shown that his mind is a chaotic messed up shit, that need some serious improvement and in the first episode he declares he regularly visits a therapist. Which makes me wonder how messed up he was before current events.

6. Blitzø and Stolas

Blitzø's relationship (if we can call it like that) with Stolas is just a giant clusterfuck of a mess (apparently like everything in Blitzø's life). They both declare they basically just use each other for personal gain, while both crave intimacy. Stolas is crushing over Blitzø and after watching everythimg for the second time, it's apparent he bends into everything he thinks Blitzø likes (i.e. dirty talk, kinks, etc.). When Blitzø asks him out on a date (sort of), he's genuinely happy and hopes for them to move into a serious relationship direction, which is why he's so devastated when he sees the lack of Blitzø's interest and realizes he used him yet again. And that makes him to seemingly decide to leave him for good. And Blitzø is once again just ruining everything because of his problem with letting people get close to him. He's scared of letting Stolas close to him. He's scared of what others will think of him for having sex with a prince (and Stolas not defending them doesn't help at all). And so he doesn't show Stolas that he cares for him. He doesn't show Stolas that he's interested in him. Seriously, these two are a prime example of #mutual pining and #idiots in love tags. They need some kind of a crisis to pull them out of their overprotective shells, man up and spill their confessions. To which Stolas leaving Blitzø could be a possible opportunity, though I'm scared that they both could just assume things didn't work out between then and move on, which we don't want to. They need to heal separately and together first to have the type of ideal and loving intimate relationship they both so desire. But first, Blitzø needs to be honest and Stolas more confident.

That's the end of my rant. I'm curious as to what the show has to offer because it's hella good and we like that. Comment ur Helluva Boss theories and ideas down below, I'd like to know other people's opinions on the characters and their dynamics as well.

[autocann1bal]

part seven of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 <;- part 2 &lt;- part 3 <- part 4 <- part 5 &lt;- part 6 <- soup soup soup welcome home - radical face lucy's return to portland row, lots of crying, lots of hugging, holly is very confused. very nice atmosphere. burn - malibu '92 lucy before l&co. just existing in that horrible horrible town working that horrible job. but she just. cant. leave. she cant leave. yet. look whos inside again - bo burnham LOOK I HAD TOO IM SORRY. its very lockwood after showing lucy and george whats in the room on the landing. he feels stuck. he feels like he cant get out of this damn house. every memory is still there, just fading. something super sweet - rory webley ik the actual song is about abusive partners and all that shit but if you thnik about it differently its. its lucy. lockwood keeps drawing her back no matter how hard she tries to get away. mr brightside - the killers OK THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY. HEAR ME OUT. after lockwood sees kipps and lucy talking outside he starts blasting this shit from his room and everyone can hear it and hes playing it as hes getting ready and lucy is gettnig ready in her room and is just like ????lockwood wtf and oh my god its so funny hes using a comb as a mic and is putting on a whole performance its hilarious. i bet on losing dogs - mitski oo different vibe from the last one LMAO. lockwood has fallen asleep in her lap after a long cry session, shes running her fingers through his hair and hes sleeping surprisingly peacfully, just thinking about how he might not make it, she starts to cry. looking out for you - joy again lucy after holly shows up, she feels replaced and like lockwood likes holly more, she feels like she should stop being so "obsessed" (in love) with him because he has holly now. she is so so wrong. cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant lockwood is in lucys lap again (im so origional and creative im sorry im just a sucker for pathetic men in their badass gfs lap) and hes talking about jess. she feels bad just cuz he was such a little kid, he didnt deserve to see that. you stupid bitch - girl in red self explanatory??? i think?? maybe i was boring - wilbur soot idk ik the songs r sad and all but it has such cozy reading together on a rainy day vibes. freaks - surfcurse this is so :(((( its so lockwood. OK i know what the lyrics are so dont come at me but if hypothetically the lyrics where "i am just a phase" itd make even more sense. the adults are talking - the strokes a song lucy blasted walking through her tiny town, maybe getting groceries or something like that. goodbye to a world - porter robinson gives lucy talking with the visitors vibes. fallen down - toby fox ermmm lets skip this one LMAOO ignore it arms tonight - mother mother oh boy this one is sad if you think about it for too long so dont think about it for too long :). cause for concern - lovejoy lockwood being reckless and throwing himself directly in harms way just because he wants to die so bad then whenever lucy or george try and ask about it he says its 'no cause for concern'. IT IS VERY MUCH A CAUSE FOR CONCERN. phonograph - piper madison lockwood and his dysfunctional brain and dysfunctional routines. garden in the backyard - bl lucy is sick and locky is takin care of she :>>. runaway - aurora lucys mind while on the walk to the trainstation, and walking through london, getting turned down by agencies over and over before finally arriving at lockwood and co.

this one is weirdly short but anyway ONTO PART 8 SOBS