#but stop hating taylor and compared them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astonmartinii · 1 year ago

Text

big reputation | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader

they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era

(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)

MASTERLIST | TIPS

f1newsandgossip

liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others

f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?

view all comments

user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave

user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes

user5: would he want to be a second driver though?

user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team

user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore

user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin

user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad

user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media

user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is

user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own

user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them

user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: you and me got a big reputation

view all comments

user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA

user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(

charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?

yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown

charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything

yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?

charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.

user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???

alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two

yourusername: NEVER

charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?

alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here

maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)

yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)

maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick

charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen

alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons

user17: gosh y/n is so sexy

user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave

user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari

charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her

user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

charles_leclerc

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start

view all comments

user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.

user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner

yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think

charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing

yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie

user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?

user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper

liked by yourusername

user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?

user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out

pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n

charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?

charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that

user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?

user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral

user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing

user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO

yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/

user29: I'M CRYING

user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that

scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪

user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE

liked by yourusername

user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle

user33: TELL THEM SIS

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract

view all comments

user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg

user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE

user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?

user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense

pierregasly: WHAT ?????????

user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?

user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION

liked by yourusername

user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?

user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver

liked by carlossainz55

user44: not carlos liking this comment

yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face

user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT

carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it

yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants

user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER

redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES

user47: admin what is going on?

redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust

user48: so real of you

maxverstappen1: ☕️

user49: LMAO KING

yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?

view all comments

user51: momma does not play oh my

taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍

yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother

charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?

taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out

landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(

danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise

user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO

user53: as she should

charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you even more

charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE

yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand

charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny

alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH

user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now

user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL

user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?

yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements

user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue

yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season

user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.

maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?

yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)

charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull

maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY

yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.

view all comments

user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari

user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP

user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL

yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is

user62: subtle DRAG

charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn

yourusername: you're my invisible string

yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade

user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm

yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald

charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back

sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....

charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)

maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?

christianhorner: and me?

charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me

yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT

maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two

christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already

yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous

redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT

user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES

pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me

yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR

yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre

charles_leclerc: thank you pierre

pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???

charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?

christianhorner: definitely brief PR

note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!

EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc instagram edit #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc

5K notes · View notes

bellawoso · 9 months ago

Text

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

Read part 1 : here

Much to your Diego’s dismay, you did not end up calling Alexia, instead the jersey, adorned with a number that could change your life, was left screwed up at the back of your wardrobe.

You were going to call Alexia.

Until one of your other friends heard about it, and told you about the backlash and hate you would receive from some of Alexia’s devoted fans. In the end, you decided it wasn’t worth it, it was only a few years since you escaped your depressive cycle, you were not ever going to risk entering it again.

Truthfully, you regret ignoring Alexia, every time anyone hits on you, you always compare them to the blonde, Diego often calling you “pathetic” as you only spoke to her for 2 hours.

However, you realised that it’s too late to call her, and think of how weird the blonde would think you were if you called her a month later.

As once again you debated calling the midfielder, your door suddenly slammed open.

“¡Hola chica! Look I have tickets!”

As you inspected the tickets in Diego’s hand, your face contorted to one of disappointment;

England vs Spain tickets.

Fuck.

———————————————————————

Your England top had arrived just in time, you were going to wear a Spain one after Diego convinced you that you would be beaten up by the first Spaniard who saw you, you guess the England-Spain rivalry ran deep.

However, it felt a betrayal to your country to be clad in the red jersey, so you ordered one last minute, luckily you weren’t completely oblivious when it came to football, you knew of how Leah Williamson had captained England to a Euro’s victory.

So there you were, in blue denim shorts and your oversized Williamson Jersey almost reaching past your shorts.

It felt like you were cheating, which was stupid, you met Alexia for 2 hours, to push away the feeling of guilt you slipped on a jacket and made your way downstairs.

Diego only rolled his eyes, and sighed in disapproval at your jersey choice.

———————————————————————

Alexia was excited for her return which she had been informed of a month prior to the match, but everyone on the team had noticed a change in the captains mood.

Except only Jana knew the cause for her sudden sadness.

Alexia didn’t understand why your rejection stung so much, maybe it was because the two-time ballon d’or winner wasn’t used to it, or maybe it was because the whole two hours you were together, she had imagined a relationship with you. It felt too real, and she cursed herself for grieving something that never happened in the first place.

She pushed all of those thoughts to the side, and instead focused on the match ahead of her, it was only a friendly, but the idea of being able to hold the win over Lucy and Keira’s heads when they returned to Barcelona felt euphoric.

What she didn’t expect was to see you in the crowd, worse of all, in a Leah fucking Williamson jersey.

———————————————————————-

Spain were one nil down at half time. which was frustrating for Alexia, having to watch from the sidelines with promises of being brought on for the final 45 minutes, however as she stepped on the pitch, her attention was drawn to a white jersey, in a sea of red, only a few rows up.

You stuck out like a sore thumb, it was extremely hard to miss you. So when Alexia laid eyes on you, her heart stopped for a second, and the screams and cheers of the stadium became muffled sounds in her ears.

As you turn around to face Diego, Alexia can just make out the England captain’s last name on your back, bile rises to the Spaniard’s mouth and she quickly turns away.

A newfound determination to outdo the English Captain, to try prove to you that the only jersey you should be proud to wear should be hers.

Call it jealousy. Maybe. But whatever it was fuelled Alexia to score 2 more goals by the end of the match.

2-1 to Spain.

When you saw Alexia step out on the pitch, your breath immediately hitched in your throat, sending you into a coughing fit, which received a knowing chuckle from Diego.

“You fumbled amiga”

Honestly, you regretted teaching him some English slang, he used it against you constantly, and often laughed at himself after seeing you scowling.

When the match ended, Diego was quick to drag you to the stands, he was a big fan of Aitana Bonmati, and wanted her signature badly.

Although you were happy for him when the brunette midfielder came over to where you two were, you froze at seeing Alexia’s friend from the match, who was walking over with Aitana.

When Jana laid eyes on you, she knew what she had to do, she was quick to sprint off and get Alexia, who was talking to Lucy and Keira, and teasing them of the loss.

Alexia was no where near as nervous as you were, the blonde didn’t need to be, you rejected her, even though she was positive that you were returning her flirty comments at the past match.

The Spaniard was sure that you were in the wrong, you should feel guilty for leading her on, so she was quick to confront you when she saw you.

“You didn’t call, and I’m pretty sure I told you to wear better clothing colours”

You internally cringed at how straight to the point the blonde was, and couldn’t help but blush as she called you out for ignoring her.

“I’m sorry, I was nervous and by the time I felt ready to call, I figured it would be too late”

“I don’t know if I’m more upset about you didn’t call because you were nervous, or the fact that you have Leah Williamson’s name on your back”

“Get me a better one then” you replied, whilst looking down at her jersey and back at her with a grin.

Alexia quickly stripped off her jersey, as you took off yours too, luckily you wore a tank top under it, Alexia’s eyes quickly dropping to your exposed chest.

“Your not subtle you know?”

“Who said I was trying to be?” The blonde was quick to reply back.

You only chuckled in response, and slipped on Alexia’s jersey, doing a little spin “How do I look?”

“Beautiful, much better wearing the jersey you belong in”

You weren’t sure if Alexia truly meant that, or if her extremely forward words were due to English not being her first language, but either way your face flushed deep crimson in retaliation to her comment.

The click of a pen lid being taken off woke you from your trance, and you peered up at Alexia, who tugged you closer by your waist, and quickly scribbled down her number once again.

“Pot favor, call me this time, promise?”

“I promise Ale, I will even let you choose the colour scheme of my outfit when we go out” you quipped back with a smile.

With a smirk, the blonde midfielder threw the England jersey on the floor, and walked away to meet Jana so they could walk into the locker room together.

Diego quickly ran towards you, only to pick you up and swing you around.

“I told you she would want you amiga! Your a snack!”

“Diego please never call me that again”

“Shut up! You should be thanking me, with out me, she would have never re-given you her number”

———————————————————————

#Spotify #barcelona femeni #barcelona femeni x reader #woso community #woso #woso fanfics #woso x reader #aitana bonmati #jana fernandez x reader #jana fernandez #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #england women #england lionesses #spain women's national team #spain wnt #england wnt

677 notes · View notes

maybankswhore · 2 years ago

Text

mastermind , xavier thorpe.

pairings: xavier thorpe x reader

“what if i told you none of it was accidental and the first time you saw me , nothing was gonna stop me?”

“what if i told you i’m a mastermind? and now you’re all mine , it was all by design.”

summary: xavier knew he wanted you from the moment he saw you— and he always made sure to get the things he wanted.

Xavier remembered the first time he saw you.

You were wearing your favorite outfit , one he had seen you wear plenty of times now , and you were clutching a stuffed animal in one arm and holding cotton candy in the other. With a bubbly smile on your face , you followed around your friends , soaking in the scenery of the carnival and grinning ear to ear. ( You really loved carnivals. )

He hadn’t seen you before. You didn’t go to Nevermore , and he wasn’t too fond of Normies. But there was something about you that seemed so different. It sounded cliche , but something clicked inside of him when he first saw you. You were beautiful , and you looked so sweet and innocent. He wanted to know you , who you were , what you liked. He wanted you to think he was just as attractive as he saw you. God , did he want you.

With his hands stuffed in his pockets , he huffed when you strolled on out of sight. The carnival was packed and he knew he’d look weird just watching around for you the entire time. He also knew , he didn’t want to approach you in front of your friends. He wasn’t particularly fond of them— just you.

He tried getting the image of you out of his head. It was just one girl , he kept telling themself. There’s more out there , don’t bother.

He played a couple games with Ajax , chatted with Wednesday , and still nothing turned his head the way you did. Nothing interested him enough to want to stop thinking about you.

“Bro you’re hot.” Ajax scoffed. Xavier bashfully admitted to him what his problem was after looking so irritated that past thirty minutes. “You make art come to life. Literally.”

“Okay and what if she’s like a super cunt who only dates guys like Tyler Galpin?” He borderline whined , hating that he cared so much.

“Then she’s a cunt so why would you wanna be with her still?” Ajax pointed out.

Xavier nodded , knowing Ajax was right. Maybe he was scared of finding that out— having the already made image of you tainted by a scornful tongue or an upturned nose.

“She seems to like Enid.” Ajax cut in , nodding over towards the blonde talking excitedly to you. You talked to her grinning , showing her the piece of jewelry Enid complimented you on.

Xavier watched the two of you closely , his eyes lightening up as Enid handed you her phone. He silently prayed you were exchanging socials instead of numbers , so he’d be able to find you later.

When you turned your phone around , showing Enid you had followed her , Xavier grinned excitedly.

“Gotcha.”

“what if i told you none of it was accidental and the first night that you saw me , i knew i wanted your body? i laid down the groundwork and just like clockwork the dominos cascaded down the line.”

That night Xavier laid in his bed and searched up Enid’s Instagram. Social media wasn’t really his ‘thing’ but he had an account just to be nosey every now and again— and luckily , it came in handy.

He wasted no time in searching through Enid’s followers until he found you. It took him about twenty different people , but then , finally , your profile picture was a photo of you in the woods. A huge smile on your face as you stood there with your arms wide open , eyes screwed shut.

Shamelessly , Xavier stalked you as far as your Instagram would go. He was in awe at your photos , how artistic some of them were compared to the pretty selfie’s you’d take. There wasn’t any sign of another significant other in your life , which made a proud smirk appear on his face.

He followed you , and turned his phone , ignoring the excitement bubbling in his stomach.

Then the next morning , as soon as he woke up , he saw you had followed him back. And he smiled.

The next time he saw Enid , he grabbed her arm and pulled her off to the side , stuffing his hands in his pocket nervously. “So. . .”

“You wanna know about Y/N.” Enid cut to the chase. “Ajax ratted you out to me last night! He said you couldn’t stop talking about her. Xavier that is so cute! You guys would be the perfect couple.”

Xavier made a mental note to tell Ajax about his blabber mouth as he flushed , rolling his eyes. “Calm down. I just wanna know if , you know , she’d—”

“She’s not like the rest of them , I promise.” Enid cut him off excitedly again. “In fact! She’s sneaking in me and Wednesday’s dorm tonight.” She smiled proudly , “you and Ajax should come by.”

Xavier smirked. “You know , I’m surprised at how little work I’ve had to do to score this.” He admitted , thinking he’d have to go on the wild hunt to find you somewhere’s in town.

“Maybe you’re not the one trying to score.”

“you knew i was a mastermind and you’re mine , and all you did was smile. ’cause i’m a mastermind.”

Enid was finishing up your hair as you checked it subconsciously in the mirror. “And he asked me about you?” You already heard the story a million times , you just wanted to hear it again.

You were practically leaping with joy when Xavier had asked to follow you. You caught his attention. Finally. You wore your favorite outfit , ran around the entire carnival looking silly , just hoping he’d come up to you.

You were a bit disappointed when he didn’t , but when Enid texted you saying Xavier was asking her about you— you were ecstatic.

Wednesday rolled her eyes at the same question she’d been hearing for the past hour. “Do you suffer from short term memory loss?”

“I just don’t want to assume he’s into me but really I’m just being delusional.”

“Didn’t you say he followed you.” Enid tried easing your overthinking.

“Yeah but—”

“Which means he was looking for it because he didn’t know your name before!” Enid clapped excitedly. “I love love.”

“Love makes me want to operate on myself while I’m wide awake.”

Wednesday’s comment was left uncommented on because a knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

Your stomach was in knots and Enid gave you an encouraging smile as she went to open the door. You immediately felt shy , unsure of what to do or say.

“Y/N’s already here!” She almost squealed , moving away to let them walk in.

Xavier’s eyes immediately fell onto you. You sat on Enid’s bed , with your hands in your lap for comfort. The way you looked at him made him grin , nodding up at you. “Gonna introduce me , Enid?”

Enid giggled and you stood up , smoothing down your clothes and walking up to him.

“Don’t you know her already?” Wednesday’s monotonous voice spoke up. “You followed her Instagram.” She said simply , not looking up from her place on her own bed , reading.

Xavier’s cheeks went red with embarrassment as Enid giggled and Ajax laughed. You even chuckled a bit , finding his red cheeks and the way he scratched the back of his neck endearing.

“Well yeah but—”

“I’m Y/N.” You introduced.

“So it seems.” Xavier laughed. “In the flesh.”

You were two caught up in his big green eyes to answer. His face was definitely something to look at. Every feature just fit him perfectly , his voice and demeanor. You were smitten.

“I think me and Y/N are gonna go off on our own.” Xavier told the others without looking away from you , his heart beating so fast.

“Already?” Enid whined. “You just got here.”

Xavier looked at you questionably , cocking his head to the side with a smirk.

“Yeah–” you broke the stare to glance towards Enid briefly with a sympathetic smile. “We can all meet up later?”

“God , I hate teenagers.”

#xavier thorpe fluff #xavier thorpe x reader #enid x reader #xavier thorpe imagines #taylor swift #mastermind #wednesday #xavier #thorpe

5K notes · View notes

kasagia · 4 months ago

Text

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x fem!moon summoner!Alina's sister! reader Summary: After the events of the fold and the fight against Aleksander, you, Alina, Mal, Baghra, Zoya, Feydor, and the Six of certain Crows join forces against the Dark General, who is trying to take over Ravka. But instead of hating YOUR Aleksander with all your heart, you still believe that you can influence him and stop the civil war in Ravka. Inspired by: Taylor Swift - I Can Fix Hhim (No Really I Can) Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist

They shake their heads sayin', "God, help her" When I tell 'em he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really, I can And only I can... maybe I can't. Taylor Swift - I Can Fix Hhim (No Really I Can)

You can't help but shudder as you observe the fold from the hill you're standing on. Sometimes at night, you dream about how HE created it. As shadow flew from his mouth along with a desperate scream, creating a shadow fold with creatures destroying everything and anyone on their way instead of an army that was supposed to save his people.

The bond between you is still there. Even though Alina made sure that the amplifiers he placed in you were completely inactive and removed. Sometimes you envied her for not having these strange visions about Aleksander's past. Maybe then you could hate him blindly instead of gradually starting to see the point in his reasoning and actions.

“You should be sleeping.” You close your eyes and sigh as you hear the old witch's voice. Baghra's presence was like salt to the wounds that her son inflicted on you. She didn't help you move on from Aleksander at all. Even telling you only the worst, bloody, dark stories of his past didn't change how you felt. And God knows how hard you tried to hate him after all this time you were running away from him and his people. "Ignoring me won't make your situation better. Only I can help you with this bond between you and my son; you know it well. Besides, you have a long road ahead of you. Your summoning skills are poor; he would defeat you with a wave of his finger. You are a better summoner of the sun than of the shadows."

"I am the moon summoner. Not some strange hybrid." You huff offendedly, stroking your thumb over the back of your left hand—more specifically, the small scar left after Morozova's stag amplifier.

"Moon summoner? Who called you that?"

"Your son." You say scathingly, enjoying the silence that came after your words.

You congratulate yourself as the smirk disappears from her face. You fondly remember how he gave you that nickname during one of your late-night meetings in his war room.

You were both night owls; it made sense that you would want to spend your time with the general who personally trained you in the use of shadows rather than senselessly tossing and turning in your bed, waiting for a sleep that would never come, right? Besides, over time, you went to his chambers to toss and turn in HIS bed. And not because you couldn't sleep...

"You still can't see it? He only wanted your power. Nothing more. He cares more about Alina than you, since your powers are weaker than theirs. You can control two elements and be the first to summon shadows and not be from our family, but you will never compare to them. And Aleksander is a greedy man, like all of them. He won't be satisfied with a naive girl whose powers depend on the time of day."

"I understand." You answered calmly. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the woman staring at you in shock, believing for a moment that you had actually moved on. But you can't stop a small, mocking smile from appearing. "Instead of standing here and looking at me stupidly, you'd better check on the others. I hope Zoya hasn't killed poor Mal yet."

"Silly girl. May the saints watch over you." She comments, shaking her head.

"Your good saints don't need to lift a little finger! I can fix him." You hear her mutter something to herself as she walks away, leaving you alone and not even responding to your taunt.

You sigh, playing with the sleeve of your coat as you stare at the fold. You could have fixed him. Really. He didn't need much. He was a good man, and maybe others didn't see in him what you did, but you deeply believed that the real Aleksander Morozova still lived under the mask of the Darkling.

All you had to do was get him out. And only you were able to do it.

You close your eyes, letting the moonlight fall on your face as you focus to summon your own light. You sigh in defeat, playing with the tiny ball in your hands, which quickly dissolves the moment you let the shadows slip through your fingers—as usual, too weak to summon a light bigger than your fist in the dark of night.

You pull the hood of your cloak over your head and go back to the camp, thinking about the nights when you could summon anything you wanted in Aleksander's arms. How dependent you had become on him... Alina had told you more than once that you should have known better than to listen and believe the enticing promises of monsters whispered in the darkness of night.

But was it really your fault that you still wished you could sink into the warmth of his embrace and sheets where you didn't have to worry about whether you'd live to see tomorrow? With Aleksander by your side, at least you never had to question your usefulness.

You were both his stars and his darkness. And while Baghra's whispers sometimes made you doubt it, in your dreams you remembered how much your Shadow Summoner valued your presence. And that despite how the world saw him, he wasn't really the villain in this story. He was just a fallen angel, a saint you had to put his halo back on and give the stars back to. Or at least that's what you wanted to believe.

After all, only you could fix him.

"And who is she?" Prince Nikolai's piercing gaze meets yours as you, Alina, Mal, and Baghra meet his band of rebels on the ship.

Alina told you that if you were to defeat Aleksander, who was growing stronger every day after the King of Ravka declared Grisha, who did not join the First Army public enemies, you needed to obtain an amplifier of some sea creature.

You didn't listen to her very much, though. You were busy talking to Aleksander at night... mostly trying to connect with him or watch him from the shadows. You only briefly listened to the plans they were making. After all, they didn't need you as long as Alina and Baghra were in good shape. You were only a spare summoner in case one of them did not have enough power. Another reason why you preferred to spend more of your time and energy trying to contact your Sasha.

Maybe at least he would consider you useful.

"Wait... I know you from somewhere... Aren't you the Darkling's girl? The one he gave flowers to at the Winter Festival?" A man with a ridiculous hat and guns at his side asks you. You roll your eyes at him, sighing.

"Yup. That was me." You admit it—a wave of whispers spreading across the deck of the ship. You feel the judging glances of the other crows at you.

"Poor girl. Fortunately, you've got it over with now. If you're lucky, next time you'll see him, he'll be dead." Nikolai comforts you, patting your shoulder. You move away from him, narrowing your eyes at him as you brush invisible dust from your arm—right where he touched you.

For them, his death would be a salvation. For you, it's the worst thing that could happen to you. Even worse than losing your own power.

"Oh, believe me, my prince. I can handle me a dangerous man like him." You reply, ignoring the angry look Alina gives you.

Nikolai chuckles awkwardly, responding with something joking to your remark. The group gathers in the captain's office over a table with reports, papers, maps, and Morozova's notes. They are discussing the plan, but you can't focus too much on it. You stare at the map, wondering where Aleksander could be right now, as memories of the Winter Fete come flooding back to you.

"I don't recall this thing as a part of the schedule. I thought it was only you and Alina who entertained people while I was looking lovely while standing next to the Fedyor and Genya for the whole night." You say it in an accusatory tone as you enter his chambers. You hear his small, deep chuckle as he closes the door behind you and turns on the lights in the room.

"And here I thought that flowers would help me get into your good graces, and you would forget that I dared to save you from the king's wandering eyes and keep you for myself in our shadows." He replies teasingly, slowly walking around the war table to join you.

"The flowers are pretty... but I'd like you to remember that I don't just control shadows. I am the moon summoner. A combination of both light and dark. You called me that yourself. So don't underestimate me just because I can't yet do what you and Alina can do." He frowns at your words and shakes his head. He brushes away some stray strands of hair that had fallen out of your elaborately styled hairstyle made by Genya and stares at you intently.

If you could, you would stare into his dark, chocolate eyes forever. And you weren't even ashamed of it.

"I don't underestimate you. I'm protecting you. Alina had already caught their attention—the king and his pampered prince. I don't want you to be next. Besides... am I so selfish that I want you to shine just for me?" His (not so innocent) question and the sweet smile he gives you make your heart melt for him. You pull him towards you by the collar of his kefta and kiss him sweetly, lazily caressing his plush lips with yours.

Aleksander Kirigan was addictive. His kisses were sweeter than the sweetest dessert you had ever eaten in the Little Palace's kitchen late at night with him, and his scent was intoxicating in the most dangerous way. You would never forgive yourself if you lost him; you couldn't imagine how your life would have looked if he hadn't shown up, literally swept you off your feet, and didn't take you into his strong arms.

You didn't know what he saw in you that convinced him to make you his, but you decided not to question it as long as he was your man and only yours. Even if he was a bit possessive at times.

"A little... but I think I can handle it." You whisper as you break apart after getting out of breath. His thumb caresses your cheek tenderly as he looks at you, smiling. You feel the light flow out of you under his touch. "How does it work? That you make me unleash my powers no matter the time of day?"

"You just need… a little boost. Once we find Morozova's stag, I'll make sure that you will get an amplifier from its bones. You'll be able to control shadows and light regardless of the position of the sun or moon." He assures you, tracing a few pegs with his thumb on your waist, massaging you as he slowly pushes you towards the war table.

"How romantic... men give their ladies jewellery, chocolates, and other sweet things, and I will get a bone amplifier from my man."

"Your man?" He asks teasingly, raising an eyebrow at you. His hands rest gently on your hips, playing with the fabric of your black kefta as he leans over you. His nose brushes against yours, and his dark eyes never leave yours as he plays with your belt, slowly undoing it.

"Aren't you one?" You answer his question with your own as he undoes the buttons on your kefta. He slides it gently onto the war table behind you, leaving you in your black silk dress. You shiver as his fingertips touch the bare skin of your arm and collarbone.

"I think I am..." He whispers, placing kisses on your neck. You purr as he coaxes both moans and light from you. You feel the heat on your skin grow with every second his mouth explores your skin, your power wanting to burst out of you to light up his war room.

"Aleks.. hmph..." You gasp as his lips connect with yours in a frenzied kiss.

You give him everything he demands. Your mouth, your tongue, your moans, your light, and your darkness, to play with as he sees fit. Nothing matters to you except his touch and his mouth and the way he uses them to caress you in the most lustful and pleasurable way, dedicated only to two people with a true, strong, untamed, and unpredictable connection.

You feel like he's everywhere. He is in your body, soul, heart, and mind. Your every little thought, breath, heartbeat, and moan of pleasure belongs to him. And he enjoys them immensely, almost as much as you enjoy his service. Aleksander serves your pleasure as he does to his Grisha—completely losing himself in you, giving you everything he possibly can. He is fucking you in the most demanding and breathtaking way, making you feel like nothing else exists for you but him.

As always, he's your crutch as you dig your fingers into him for a foothold, your muscles completely failing you as he guides you over the edge of bliss. Light floods the room, dispelling the shadows you and Aleksander had summoned earlier. He could just as easily take your powers away at that moment, and all you'd do is thank him and beg him for more.

You tug on his hair, pulling him into a kiss as you feel his movements become less regular and more desperate as he too approaches the peak of his pleasure. You find that the beautiful music that drifts through the window of the Grand Palace cannot compare to the sound your Darkling makes as he lets go of his control and restraint completely and allows himself to lose himself in you.

His shadows consume the room, making you see nothing, but at the same time you feel so much… and you can't say you don't like it.

You’re glad you can bite into his skin to muffle your moans a little. At least it’ll allow you to look Ivan in the eyes when you leave this room with Aleksander after Ivan calls him on urgent business.

Although your heartbeat remains unchanged as Aleksander’s hand grips yours tightly when he leads you through the corridors of the Little Palace. And from the uncomfortable grunt of the heartrender, you suspect that Aleksander’s heart is beating at least as fast in his chest as in yours. And it’s not all because of the adrenaline rush of learning of your sister’s sudden disappearance.

"I can feel your breathing on my neck, Aleksander." You whisper into the darkness, standing on the bow of the ship and staring at the foamy sea in front of you.

You shiver as familiar arms wrap around your waist. His warmer, bearded cheek rests against yours as you peacefully stare at the nightscape in front of you. Aleksander's fingertips stroked your sea serpent scale bracelet—your second amplifier that you, Alina, and her great team managed to get a few hours ago.

"You are becoming more and more powerful, milaya. Too powerful for my taste." He murmurs against your ear, and teasingly licks your lobe with his tongue. You tremble in his arms, biting your lip as you try to find some shred of control.

"Now that we don't talk, I don't care much. You should rather go and torment my sister, good Saints know that's your favorite thing to do lately." You huff and untangle yourself from his arms (which he reluctantly allows you to do). You walk to the starboard side and ignore him completely, playing with the shadows that came with his 'projection'.

"Jealous?" He asks teasingly. He acts too smug for your liking as he stands next to you and brushes your arm with his.

You don't know how exactly your connection allows him to appear next to you at any time he wants, but you don't like it, not when you can't do something similar and torment him whenever you want.

"About you? Never. We both know you're mine. But that doesn't mean I'm not irritated by you trying to seduce my sister into your plans." You reply, focussing your gaze on him. You allow yourself to take a closer look at the scars on his face—a new thing about his appearance besides the kefta in yours and his colours that Alina had mentioned to you.

The fold had clearly hurt you in more ways than one. And looking at Aleksander you can't help but feel sorry for him, because you imagine how much those wounds must have hurt him. You wonder if it hurt him more than when you both broke your hearts back on the ship in the fold.

Even more so, you cannot understand why he insists on keeping the fold and widening it.

"To be honest, I was hoping you'd react to my little... tamptetion of your sister and come to me to knock some sense into me. Then I could tie you to my bed and keep you with me. Maybe I should collar you like I did to Alina, since you ran away from me and betrayed not only me but also our people, our Grisha. Tell me, did my dear mother also convince you that she gave birth to a monster? Are you afraid of me, malyshka? Are you disgusted by the things I taught you and did to you in the darkness?"

"Not at all. You've been such an angel in those nights… pleasing me so well with your silver-tongue. What a shame you decided that you'd rather play with Ravka than with my pussy." You reply, running your hand over his jaw teasingly.

His beard is longer than usual, rougher, and standing so close to him you can see the outline of the black bags under his eyes. The civil war took its toll on him. But he was still too damn handsome to resist.

"Look how I depraved you, my sweet, little, innocent Saint. Just a few months ago, you blushed at my mere words—not to mention my touch—and completely forgot to respond with anything of your own. What a diligent student you became, milaya. Have you found a new teacher yet?"

"Why did you ask? Haven't you found some new students?" You ask mockingly, pushing his wandering hand away from your waist.

"Why should I waste my time teaching someone the tricks I've already shown you? It is much easier and more advantageous, for me, to find you and drag you with me back to the Little Palace than even start to look around for someone else. After all, I didn't spend that sleepless night, teaching you how to please me, just to let the other man enjoy the fruits of my hard work."

"Who said no one else than you haven't enjoyed it already?"

He responded to your teasing question with a low growl. He grabs your hips tightly, making sure that you won't run away from him and press his hips to your ass. Goosebumps appear on your skin, and your heartbeat speeds up when you feel his manhood against your body.

"You wouldn't dare. You know I would kill anyone who would even think about touching you. You are mine, my little moon. All mine."

"Right now, you are too far away to order me or claim your right to me, Aleksander. What a pity… especially when there are so many men who could be called mine instead of you." You said and pushed him away from you. "Have fun at your war." You growl at him and move to go under the ship's deck.

But you don't make it far away from him. After just a few steps, Aleksander grabs your arm and pulls you to his chest. Shadows swirl around you, making you unable to see anything. All you can feel is their coldness, the warmth emanating from Aleksander's chest, and his scent, which is like a drug to you after a long withdrawal—more addictive than anything in the world.

"Why the rush? Don't you want to spend a few more minutes with me? The Saints know I would. Very much so." He murmurs to your ear, making you shiver as his hands are holding you tightly, his fingertips dig into your arm, probably leaving you bruised the next day.

"Before or after you will destory half of the Ravka?"

"I haven't decided yet." He growls and leans towards you. Before you can react, he's tangling his hand in your hair and pulling you in, claiming your mouth in a passionate kiss.

You gasp, enjoying the sudden, unexpected feeling of his soft lips on yours. You instinctively tangle your hand in his night-black hair and pull him closer to you, biting his lower lip. You moan at the taste of his blood on your tongue, his fingers digging into your waist. He lifts you, forcing your legs to wrap around his waist as he pins you against the wooden wall of the ship.

He takes your air, every logical thought, and every heartbeat, stealing everything that's left of you to remind you that every last bit of you was tainted by him and will forever belong to him. No matter what he did, Alexander had claimed every last bit of you, all of you, and left nothing for anyone else, as if he would ever allow another person's lips to touch the places that were his.

His lips move to your neck, nibbling there and leaving a trail of hickies. His beard tickles your skin as you feel the familiar tingle of sunlight trying to break through you as his skin meets yours.

You freeze, realising that Aleksander is standing before you in his own flesh. This isn't a vision, a nightmare, or anything else. It's him. The REAL HIM.

You take a deep breath, but before you can say or scream, Aleksander's large, calloused hand covers your lips, which are chapped from the sea air.

"I told you I'd come back for you, milaya. No matter how far or fast you run, I'll always find you and bring you back to your rightful place. At my side." He whispers in your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine and your heart racing, adrenaline pumping as you try to summon your shadows.

Any hopes you have of escaping are dashed by the sight of Ivan's red kefta behind Aleksander. Heartrender quickly slows your heart rate, sending you into a sleep state. The last thing you see as you collapse into the Darkling's arms is a bright light that must be coming from your sister. And part of you is glad you're unconscious. It means you don't have to look her in the eyes as you realise your mistake.

Strangely enough, you don't wake up on a ship at sea. Or handcuffed in some filthy cell. You wake up in a comfortable, warm bed in an unfamiliar chamber.

You sigh, stretching your aching muscles. You roll over, pulling the black silk sheets off of you, rubbing your hand over your eyes as the sunlight hits them.

You are surprised to find no one around you. Not a single living soul. You suspect that Aleksander has placed a heartrender by your door to watch over you. You decide to get out of bed and investigate your surroundings.

Your legs tremble as you slowly get out of bed. You steer yourself towards the window, using the wall as a support. You gasp as you see the buildings through the window, the houses of Os Alta, and most of all the familiar structure that was the Little Palace.

You shiver as the door suddenly opens with a bang. You turn around, watching Ivan carefully as he enters the room.

"You're finally awake. The Tsar wants to see you." He informs you and walks over to the closet. He pulls out a black kefta and hands it to you. You stare at the material for a moment, trying to make sense of what's happening around you.

"I won't wear this." You say stubbornly, refusing to wear his colors. You're too angry at him for kidnapping you to grant him any more small victories in your... little war.

"I doubt it will make him angry. Probably quite the opposite." Ivan comments, significantly lowering his gaze to the nightgown you have been dressed in.

You roll your eyes at him and yank the black cloth out of his hands. You expect to see an all-black kefta, similar to the one Alexander gave you at the Winter Fete, but you are… surprised to see embroidered silver detailing on the sleeves. You raise an eyebrow at Ivan, but he seems to ignore you, patiently waiting to be escorted to the throne room to face the new Tsar.

You reluctantly follow the heartrender, aware that your power is limited by the metal bracelet on your wrist—an accessory you remember vividly from when the Darkling entered the fold with you, Alina, and the Ravkan dignitaries.

You shiver uncontrollably as you remember what happened in the fold.

It was your first time crossing the fold, and Aleksander knew it, as well as the fact that you were afraid to cross the creation that killed your parents. Your only consolation was that now, if need be, you could summon at least a small ball of light to scare away the volcra. And that Alina would be there with you. But your Shadow Summoner had never even mentioned to you that your sister would join you on the ship against her will. A small omission of fact that had been happening to him more and more often lately.

"I can hear your thoughts." As if on cue, he stands right behind you. His hand—the one with the amplifier—reaches for yours and intertwined your fingers, squeezing your hand tightly in his grip.

"It's a pity that you only hear them and don't think about them even for a moment." You reply snidely, swallowing hard as you stare at your sister’s collar. When her gaze meets yours, you drop your gaze to her shoes.

"It had to be done. You know it."

"Do I? You haven't been telling me anything lately. You just keep saying that I'm too weak to fulfil your plans and that you need Alina." You reply angrily, turning to look into his dark as fold eyes. You shiver as you watch him clench his jaw and narrow his gaze at you, trying to ignore the curious glances of the invited nobility as he is trying to respond calmly to your allegations.

"I never said you were too weak. I said you needed an amplifier to unlock your true potential."

"And what difference does it make?" You snap at him madly, wishing you had more control over your emotions than he does. You guess it'll take you ages to master the ability of keeping up your mask of indifference like he does.

"That I know what you're truly capable of. Don't you think I'd rather stand by your side as we pursue our plan? Do you think that I wanted to do this to your sister? That I'm the monster my mother painted for her and you? Everything I do, I do for the sake of Grisha. For us. For you. I… I just need a little trust from you. That's all I'm asking, milaya."

"And you need to know how hard it is to trust you when my sister is chained to the floor of the ship, with a collar around her neck so you can control her powers." You whisper, voice breaking, holding back the tears as you face both your immense love for the man before you and your hatred for what he did to your sister.

"She never wanted it."

"But now she wants. Just like I never thought you could be more than the Black General to me, and here we are." At your words, he softens a little. He sighs and looks around. You can see that he is struggling with his thoughts, that he is considering your words, but you know as well as he does that your relationship is too weak for him to change his entire plan with one word from you.

You shiver, not from the cold that your black coat, strikingly similar to the one he wears, protects you from, but from a premonition of what's about to happen. Something you definitely won't like. But you allow yourself to delude yourself a little longer that everything will be okay. You reach for his hand and place a quick kiss on it, pressing your lips not to the bony amplifier but to his skin, which makes his gaze focus fully on yours again. As if you really were going to be his light in the darkness.

"Please... just don't prove me wrong. Don't make me regret trusting you so blindly." He doesn't respond to your pleas—something that should make you at least a little suspicious. But he doesn't. Instead, he tangles his hand in your hair, pulling you closer. He presses a kiss to your forehead, appreciating the feeling of your body against him for a moment longer before he lets you go completely to take care of Alina.

Now you know it was a farewell, that he knew you would not accept how he used your sister's power to intimidate those on the ship, engulfing Novo-Kirbirks in the darkness of the Fold.

Then everything happened so fast. And you're really grateful to Alina for dragging you to another ship, even though you were cursing her name and howling in the darkness of the Folds louder than the volcras. Because you know you would have jumped after Aleksander regardless, trying to protect him at all costs from the monsters he himself had created.

“We’re here.” Ivan announces, pulling you out of your thoughts. You literally only had a few seconds to prepare yourself to confront Aleksander before you were shoved into the throne room, the doors slamming shut behind you.

Before your eyes land on the Tsar, you allow yourself to scan the room for a moment. The throne room underwent a major renovation. It resembled one of the rooms of the Little Palace more than the former throne room of the Lantsovs.

As you might expect, the dominant colours are black and gold. Surprisingly, instead of sitting on his new black marble throne engraved with a solar eclipse, Aleksander is standing at a round table with a map of Ravka. His gaze meets yours, sending an electric shiver through you.

But what surprises you the most is that there are two thrones present in the throne room. Not one. And the second one has an engraving of a crescent moon.

"I heard you called yourself tsar, but somehow the rumor about you taking over the capital never reached me."

"You might have slept through it, Sankta Y/N." He responds to your mockery with his own. You wrinkle your nose at the sound of your most hated nickname.

"And how long exactly was I in that forced nap?" You ask, walking towards him with your arms folded. You lift your chin at him as he frowns at your defensive posture.

He puts down the reports he was reading before you arrived and takes a step towards you. You resist the instinct that tells you to back away from him, just as the one that demands from you to come closer to him and snuggle into him.

You marvel at how he managed to evoke in you both blazing fear and rage, as well as lust and love. The desire to be close to him seemed unable to weaken at all. No matter what he did, a part of you would always be his. And it was something you strangely didn't want to fight.

"A few weeks."

"Hmm… how nice. And how many times have you used my powers in your little plan to take over the title of Tsar, the Grand Palace, and well, probably all of Ravka in those few weeks?" You ask snidely, glancing briefly at Ravka's map and the papers on the table.

"You sound like you're suggesting that this was something I wanted to do, or at least something a little enjoyable for me. And I thought that you, of all people, knew me at least a little better."

"Do I?" You raise a questioning eyebrow at him, staring straight into those dark irises, trying to ignore the black scars on his face that you haven't had a chance to get used to yet. You can't help but wonder how he's put up with his... new face.

"You're asking me?"

"And who should I? Of the two of us, I'm not the master of half-truths here." You question him, undeterred by the shadows around him growing thicker with each of your mocking words.

"It wasn't a half-truth… I just kept some things in the dark to protect you."

"And look where your defending me has gotten us. What exactly were you trying to defend me from? From your mother, Fjerdan, Drüskelle, or perhaps from yourself, Aleksander?"

"I… it wasn't supposed to be like this."

You sigh, taking a step towards him. You place one hand on his kefta, just above his heart, and with the other, you cup his bearded cheek, forcing him to look at you.

"So tell me. Let me in on your plans. Don't treat me like a pawn in your game, but as your equal. Unless you do consider me as someone beneath you."

"You ARE my equal." He quickly confirms and takes your hand (the one resting on his chest) in a tight grip, intertwining your fingers as he stares at you pleadingly, feeling how close he is to having you on his side.

And all Aleksander ever wanted was to not be alone in his fight for Grisha. And he would have that. He would have you even if you ran away from him, screamed at him, called him a monster, and cursed him to the saints, if it meant he would never have to struggle against the world alone again.

"So start treating me like one." You reply and look pointedly at the bracelets on your wrists.

You see the internal battle that is going on inside him. You see him struggling to let you in and to be as vulnerable with you as you have allowed yourself to be with him. You know his past, you know perfectly well what he's struggled with, what he's been through over the hundreds of years, but if he wanted you on his side, he had to at least show you in some way that he was able to trust you the way you trusted him.

"I… you can't expect me to… after all this…"

"You once asked me to trust you. I did. Why can't I expect the same from you?" You ask, looking at him expectantly. "Do you think I am capable of hurting you more than you've already hurt me, moi Tsar?"

"That was never my intention." He frowns, refuting your accusations. He steps back, creating some distance between you, giving in to his defensive reflexes. But you don't back down. You'll make a good boy out of him and make him come to you and fall into your trap. He just needed a little push...

"I know. Which doesn't change the fact that I pay a price for loving you, and you, Aleksander? It would be so much easier for me to hate you. But I can't. I don't want to. So please, for OUR sake, don't give me a reason to."

You look up at him pleadingly with your most beautiful doe eyes and stop your lips from forming a smile when you see the effect it has on him as he slowly begins to melt his attitude.

You take a step towards him and grab him by the collar of his kefta. He stiffens for a moment but calms down when you pull him to rest your forehead against his. He sighs shakily and tangles a hand in your hair, stroking your temple with his thumb.

"Aren't you tired? Of fighting all the time, giving them everything and never getting anything in return? How many lives have you spent sacrificing yourself to Grisha, and how many have truly belonged to you?" You whisper and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His beard tickles yours and you smile slightly at the familiar, comforting feeling. You open your eyes and stare into his dark irises, mumbling against his lips. "We could have had this, Aleksander. We could have made Ravka stronger together, united Grisha and Otkazat'sya, built an empire the likes of which no one had ever seen before. We still can. I can convince Alina and the rest that you can be trusted, that our goals are aligned, only two paths lead to them, which we can connect, everything can still be changed. You no longer have to fight alone."

"You think I haven't tried their way? Grisha will never be treated as their equals. Not if we don't use force, if we don't instill fear in them."

"Aleksander... they are already afraid enough. Please. Let's find the last amplifier and end this. Don't you think it's taking too long? We can repel the Fjerdan, stop the Drüskelle attacks, intimidate the Shu Han, and bring peace and security, but only by combining our forces."

"It's too late for that."

"Who said that?" You ask, stroking the black scar on his cheek with your fingertip. He trembles under your touch, burying his face in your hand.

"They won't see me as anything more than a monster."

"Now yes. But I can show them the real you. My man."

"Your man?" He raises an eyebrow at you, placing a hand on your shoulder and caressing your collarbone tenderly. You shiver as you feel the power flow through you, answering the amplifier’s call.

"Aren't you?" You whisper, looking at him from under your lashes and lightly biting your lower lip.

A moment later, he gives in and leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss. You sigh, tangling your hands in his hair and pressing your body against his. He pulls you back with him and sinks into the throne, with you on his lap.

You move your hands to his chest and slowly undo the clasps of his kefta, peeling the black material off of it. Alexander pulls away from your mouth and presses kisses along your jaw and neck, nipping and biting at your skin, marking it with hickeys as you work to undo his shirt.

You hold your breath and stop your movements as the bracelets on your wrists are suddenly removed. Aleksander places tender kisses on them, causing both light and shadow to flow from your fingers. You sigh, pressing your lips to his forehead and burying your nose in his hair, inhaling his scent.

"I think I am." He mumbles against the skin of your neck, his beard giving you small tickles that make your lips curve into a little smile. You lazily run your fingers through his hair and pull away so you can look at him.

You trace the black scar on his cheek with your fingertips, caressing it gently. Aleksander holds his breath for a moment and places his hand on your thigh, squeezing it when you touch a particularly sensitive spot on his still-aching wounds. Your heart aches to see him like this. You swear to yourself that this is the last time you'll leave him with his shadows, that you'll let anyone tear you from his arms and leave him alone in the darkness.

As you sit on his lap in his throne room... your throne room, you wonder how the hell you're going to explain this to Alina and the others. You wonder how you're going to convince them that you haven't completely lost your minds to the man beneath you and how to convince them that you both have only the best interests of Ravka in mind and have no intention of harming anyone in the process of increasing the freedom, security, and importance of Grisha.

You decide that's a problem for another time. Right now, you were happy to bask in Aleksander's embrace, warmth, and scent.

"Moya tsaritsa..." He whispers in your ear as he works on taking off your kefta.

Yep, you could definitely fix him... or at least that's what you wanted to think as he showed you heaven in the ruins of what was once Ravka. After all, a fallen angel is also an angel.

344 notes · View notes

agendabymooner · 1 year ago

Text

"slut" ! charles l. x ofc (filo!celebrity!ofc)

"we'll pay the price, i guess."

summary: charles leclerc's ex trashed on his new girlfriend, who was his friend first before she became a lover. charles and the fans didn't stand for that kind of behaviour.

OR his ex tried to compare herself to louella lourdes villar, but even charles knew that no one could compete with her. after all, he wouldn't write songs with anyone unless the melody fit perfectly with his rhythm. (based on this request)

content warning: use of explicit language, ofc's discography is based on taylor swift, toxic!fictional ex (maddie lisandro) is not a girls' girl, hateful comments from ex, charles and ofc being each other's "homie hopper", wingman!arthur mentioned

note: i've tried my best anon 😭 it's my reading week so i'm gonna get one more homework out of the way and try to write as much stuff as a girl can do!! enjoy xx

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

i. "homie hoppers" but it's just a vice versa thing

ii. charles the muse

iii. haters gonna hate, shake it off

iv. made in monaco

tagged charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, estebanocon, arthur_leclerc

arthur_leclerc when the songs aren't depressing and not charles-coded >>> liked by louellalourdes

lorenzotl congratulations ella bella!!! i hope you do well in the job! ❤️ liked by louellalourdes

louellalourdes merci enzo!

pierregasly new best friend on the grid 🤩 liked by louellalourdes

estebanocon see you soon mon ange! liked by louellalourdes

user1 she's doing side quests what-

user2 how tf do you go from being an actress in the philippines to writing and making songs to working for formula one? 😭

user3 connections. connections we don't have

user4 if girlie is a barbie she'd be a "you can do anything" type 😕 liked by louellalourdes

alpinef1team have fun controlling those two 😩 i believe in you lou! liked by louellalourdes

louellalourdes i already got them on a leash don't worry admin! 🥰

alpinef1team stan lou villar for clear skin 🙌

charles_leclerc glad to work with you, bebe ❤️ liked by louellalourdes

louellalourdes my favourite co-writer 💅

[translation: i'm very proud of my darling.]

tagged louellalourdes

liked by lorenzotl, arthur_leclerc, maxverstappen1

user1 CHARLOU ERA 😩

user2 my guy went from wanting to hop his homie to writing love songs with his homie-turned-lover ❤️

arthur_leclerc too many Ls and none of them belong to ella bella 😩

user3 it's okay you can say maddie lisandro

arthur_leclerc hehe

user4 BRO WHY YOU BEEFING WITH THE EX ARTHUR 😭

landonorris tell her that i love her new album please 😳 liked by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc she said she can also sign the vinyl

landonorris can she give me new merch too?!!!

louellalourdes how much money do you earn per year again landonorris?

user5 YES BBY HUMBLE THEM

alex_albon i just want an autograph 👉👈

charles_leclerc since you asked nicely 🤩

maxverstappen1 charles stop exploiting her

charles_leclerc she has all of the clout 😕

user6 these millenials are making me cringe actually stfu charles 😭

user7 no deadass i'm actually physically cringing- don't say "clout" ever again

louellalourdes merci my love ❤️ liked by charles_leclerc

761 notes · View notes

strrykais · 29 days ago

Text

you belong with me

idol : na jaemin // nct dream song : you belong with me - taylor swift warnings : none word count : 673

you absolutely hated the girl jaemin was talking to, you couldn’t help but compare yourself to her. her hair color, her height, even down to the clubs she joined. she was the exact opposite of you which only pissed you off even more.

jaemin and you have been neighbors and friends for so long you just developed this long time crush on him. you were just hoping that he would return that feeling back to you, so when college came around and he realized they give out free condoms he decided he wanted to date.

“stop glaring at them, it's starting to freak me out.” haechan says sitting across from you working on this assignment you two got paired on.

“i can’t help it, how is he okay with her wearing short skirts like that but when i tried he literally called my parents.” you scoff slouching against the chair not caring about the project.

“look if i fail physics because you dont have the balls to tell him you like him, then imma kill you.” haechan reaches out, flicking your forehead.

“hey what the hell.” reaching out to return the flick, you both get interrupted by jaemin.

“hey guys, how's it going?” jaemin smiles, sliding into the chair right next to you.

“fine.” haechan grumbles out gathering his supplies and leaving you both.

“whats his problem?” jaemin watches haechan walking out the door pissed.

shrugging your shoulders knowing damn well what haechans problem was. haechan knew you wouldn’t get any work done with jaemin in looking distance from you. now that he was touching distance, yeah you were useless..

“giselle is having a party tonight if you wanna join.” jaemin says, playing with the ends of your hair, smiling at you. “i hope to see you there. you never go out.”

“not exactly my scene, but yeah. i think i can show up or something.”

“great, ill see you there then, ill text you the address!” he gets up patting your head and walking off.

maybe this was a bad idea. you were in clothes that were too small and too tight, wearing make up that made you look like someone different. but you're gonna enjoy it tonight. reaching the kitchen you start to make yourself a drink when you hear a voice in your ear.

“well i havent seen you around camp-” jaemin begins only to stop when he realized it was you. “what the fuck are you wearing? is that makeup?” jaemin reaches out trying to touch your face. completely dodging him.

“yeah it's a party jaem, i had to get dressed up.” you shrug gulping down your drink.

jaemin scoffs in disbelief pulling off the jacket he was wearing, wrapping it around the back of your skirt. “what the fuck are yo-” you start to say only for jaemin to throw you over his shoulders leading you both up the stairs.

“jaemin put me down, people are staring.” you try to fight out his grip.

“then shut up till we get up the stairs.”

jaemin tosses you onto a bed in a vacant room, turning to lock the door.

“let me out.” you try to reach the door only for him to block your path.

“no. now tell me what this is.” he says waving a hand around your face down to your body.

“why do you care? you never seem to care when the girls you sleep with look like this.” you grumble out.

“i never slept with any of them.” jaemin says looking away from you, you see the faint blush on his cheeks.

“what?”

“i- ugh you make it so difficult, i like you. i think i always have but i was scared you didn't like me so i tried to date other people hoping these feelings would subside. but clearly they haven't if i can't bear to have other guys see you dressed like this." jaemin huffs out raking his hand through his hair.

you smile at his flustered state, “i like you too jaem.”

1k extravaganza

ⓒstrrykais

89 notes · View notes

agirlwithglam · 8 months ago

Text

The Vanilla Library 🐩

Introduction

˗ˏˋ꒰⚡️꒱ Self improvement:

48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene — part 1 & part 2

dont let your past affect your future

create a new identity

how to be smart (from pinterest)

Hard work?? At least do work!

Recommends: BLOSSLY

May ins & outs

Chapter 5: May

Chapter 6: June

prioritising: how to prioritise + use it effectively to take over your life.

How to achieve your goals using: S.M.A.R.T goals.

Create a life worth living

weltschmerz: the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical idealised world.

how to do things when you dont feel like doing them (ask)

Cry about it, then come back stronger

how to stop sulking over your life and stop struggling with embodying your dream self (ask)

4:30-5:40 morning routine (ask)

how to make life a little better

gratitude baby!

BECOME YOUR DREAM GIRL BY 2025

˗ˏˋ꒰📚꒱ Studying & academia:

How to be more educated

(ask) how to work hard + actually study

Motivation: things to like about these subjects

How to be the it girl in school

recommended study video for upcoming exams

100/100 grades on exams (affirmations)

How to ACE your exams!!

Question bank study method

racism

˗ˏˋ꒰🎀꒱ girly things

Teenage guide to a HOT GIRL SUMMER

Elegance & grace (how to be elegant)

Forgiveness to others

Shadow work journalling prompts

unique compliments to give people

GIRL TALK #1: friends & feeling left out

GIRL TALK #2: dealing with hate + not caring about what others think of you.

˗ˏˋ꒰🍒꒱ confidence & self love:

A guide to self love and confidence

"ohmygod shes perfect" they're obsessed with you. affirmations!

I am worthy.. affirmations

how to stop giving people your time, attention and energy.

How to be a girlboss 101 (social edition)

How to not compare yourself and feel fulfilled without needing anyone’s validation. (Ask)

attractive confidence affirmations.

but honey, what about you? : loving yourself

How to stop being so obsessed with them!

U miss me? No duh

stop caring about what others think about you!

fill up your own cup first

you are LUCKY to be disliked!

Hot girl things

hot girl things- socialising edition.

Thewizardliz: what to do if someone is making you feel insecure

Thewizardliz: becoming selfish is the best thing i did.

the ULTIMATE IT GIRL guide!

The It Girl Lifestyle Guide

The It Girl Confidence Guide

˗ˏˋ꒰🍒꒱ socialising

EASTER HOLIDAY CHALLENGE- socialising edition!

Conversation tips + how to be funny

How to be a good conversationalist

the secret to actually becoming fun and interesting

how to be magnetic and alluring (ask)

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 ꒱ minis + moodboards:

Gina linetti quotes

elle woods quotes

Yoda quote

Lavender haze, Taylor Swift quote

I forgot that you existed, Taylor Swift quote

true love (with myself)

always improve.

how to become the best version of you

life is so big and unserious

Moodboard:

Moodboard #1 - academic weapon

Moodboard #2 - orange/ vanilla girl academia

Moodboard #3 - spring/ morning inspired

Moodboard #4 - spring inspired

Moodboard #5 - pink academia

Moodboard #6 - barbie inspired!!

Moodboard #7 - Elle woods inspired

Moodboard #8 - academia & Elle woods inspired + QUOTE

Moodboard #9 - Blair Waldorf inspired + QUOTE abt how ur just better

Moodboard #10 - healthy lifestyle pink inspired + QUOTE for if you’re going thru a hard time

Moodboard #11 - queen energy inspired + QUOTE on being a queen

Moodboard #12 - pink outfit inspired

moodboard #13 - pink productivity inspired

moodboard #14 - motivation + quote

221 notes · View notes

liightsout · 6 months ago

Text

guilty as sin? - daniel ricciardo x reader

(part two)

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader ✯

✯ word count: 5.5k ✯

✯ content warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, abusive/unhealthy relationship, thoughts of cheating, sexual themes, toxic parental relationship ✯

✯ now playing: guilty as sin? - taylor swift ✯

✯ masterlist ✯

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“I’m seeing visions, am I bad, or mad or wise?”

For weeks after that night in Monaco you couldn’t shake Daniel Ricciardo from your mind, no matter how hard you had tried. You felt as though your every thought had been occupied by him. The way his skin felt against yours. The way his voice sounded when he said your name. The way his eyes lit up when he heard you laugh. You were obsessed.

You felt exactly as you had all those years ago; yearning for a man you could not have.

You had hoped that Evan’s attitude towards you might improve after his run in with Danny. It hadn’t, if anything, it had made him worse. He had interrogated you the entire car ride back to the hotel from the villa. It hadn’t taken him long at all to work out who Danny was. You imagined one of his friends must have told him after he’d gone storming back into the villa.

He didn’t believe that you knew a famous Formula 1 driver. He had gotten shitty with you when you pointed out that you had told him that you knew some of the drivers through your friend Rosie. He rolled his eyes at that. He had always hated Rosie. She was too brash, too loud for his liking. You had thought that it was just that they were too different. It was easy to see now that he just preferred women to be quiet.

You found yourself comparing everything he did to how you imagined Danny would if he were in the same situation.

How would Danny have reacted if the tables were turned, if he was the one to find you conversing with a handsome stranger instead of waiting patiently for him to come find you.

You quickly concluded that you would never have been in that situation with Danny. He never would have left you alone in a house of people you barely knew to go and drink with his friends.

You weren’t sure if comparing Evan to Danny was a wise decision, but you found it impossible to stop.

“I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault”

You kept these thoughts to yourself, not that you had anyone to share them with anymore. Evan had quickly extradited you from all your friends early on in your relationship. Perhaps that was why you found such solace in your daydreams.

Although, even if you did have someone to confide in, what would you say? How would you explain that you were longing for a man that wasn’t your boyfriend. That a man you had met a handful of times was occupying your every waking thought.

It was best that those thoughts stay hidden away.

“Someone told me, ‘there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk”

For what felt like the hundredth weekend in a row, Evan had gone away with his friends, leaving you home alone. Usually you didn’t mind all that much. The time away from Evan had felt like respite recently. But tonight you had felt the urge for something more. You didn’t want to be sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, drinking wine and watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.

You wanted a taste of your old life back.

It felt scandalous leaving your apartment late at night to go to a bar. A hilarious thought when you considered the fact that you were an adult in your twenties and that realistically you could do whatever you wanted. The fact that Evan would be beyond annoyed at you if he ever found out where you were made the whole thing even more enticing.

You found yourself in a dingy dive bar in the city, one that you used to frequent before you had started dating Evan. As you looked around at the sticky floor and walls covered in vintage tour posters you couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. Evan would hate it here.

You should have known all your old friends would be there. It was a warm summer's evening, the perfect weather for a drink in the beer garden out the back of the bar. It had been a tradition amongst your group for years.

Rosie was the first one to see you. You had thought that she would ignore you. Not because she was unkind, you just couldn’t imagine that she would have any reason to want to talk with you. You had all but disappeared from her life two years ago. Swept up in a whirlwind romance that felt more important than your friends.

How wrong you were; about both the relationship, and Rosie.

The minute you felt her arms wrap around you in a welcoming embrace, you felt a wave of emotions rush over you.

Danny had said she had missed you, you just hadn’t believed him.

The pair of you spent the next few hours catching up. She told you all about her new job and the fancy new apartment she was renting. She showed you pictures of her brother and his new wife. They were expecting their first child and she was ecstatic about finally becoming the cool aunt, a stereotype that you knew would fit her perfectly.

You had missed so much of her life. She had done so much in the few years you’d not spoken. You felt embarrassed by how little you had to share with her. Your life revolved around Evan and work. It wasn’t the life you had imagined for yourself, not in the slightest.

You didn’t need to tell Rosie how bad things were with Evan, she just knew. Girls were like that, you had found. They possess an inherent intuition to be able to read their friends and know exactly what’s wrong without a single word needing to pass their lips. No matter how much time has passed.

It was Rosie who brought up Danny first. He had told her all about what had happened in Monaco. You weren’t sure what else he had told her, but after nearly a bottle of white wine you couldn’t stop the words from tumbling from your lips. They had been pent up for years now, itching to break free.

You told her everything. Starting with that night two years ago; you told her how badly you had wanted for more to happen, but didn’t want to cross any lines.

You told her how you had waited for him to reach out to you, but that phone call had never come. The years you had spent thinking he was “the one who got away”.

Ending with that night in Monaco when you had collided into each other. A cruel twist of fate sent to mock you for ever thinking Evan was the right man for you.

“I just feel so bad for feeling this way about Danny… I know Evan’s not the greatest, but he doesn’t deserve this, surely?” you said to the girl sitting in front of you.

The guilt was eating you alive. You’d always considered yourself an honest person. Fantasising about a man that wasn’t your boyfriend felt wrong. But if it was wrong, why did it feel so right?

“I need you to listen to me right now,” Rosie said as she grabbed your hand that was resting on the table. You looked up and met her eyes.

“Evan, is an asshole. He has kept you locked away in that penthouse for too long now, and you have lost sight of who you are and what you want. I’m not saying that Danny is the love of your life, but if he is your way out of this prison cell you’re locked in, fucking go for it!”

You were at a loss for words. Rosie was a good friend of Danny’s. She would know if these feelings you had were one sided. Surely she wouldn’t encourage you if she thought you’d end up heart broken chasing an impossible dream.

“Babe, all I’m saying is, don’t beat yourself up for imagining a better life for yourself. There’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.”

“These fatal fantasies, giving way to laboured breath, taking all of me. We’ve already done it in my head”

You could feel his hands against your skin. His fingertips were setting your body alight wherever they touched. You wanted more, needed more.

A fire was starting within you that you hadn’t felt in years.

His rough facial hair scratched against the delicate skin of your neck as he left soft kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. The softness of the kisses was a stark comparison to the sinful thoughts swirling round in your brain.

“Good girl” he whispered to you as he pushed your thighs further apart. The praise sounded like liquid gold pouring from his lips. The teasing glint in his eye matched the smirk on his lips. It was a look you’d not seen on him before.

You knew you’d do anything he asked if it meant you got to see him like this again.

The fantasy was pulled from you before your mind could wonder any further.

The sound of your morning alarm woke you from the most beautiful dreamland you’d ever experienced.

You’d never had a dream like that before. Should you feel ashamed of yourself? Normal people didn’t fantasise about men that weren’t their boyfriends in their dreams.

You did not feel ashamed, not in the slightest.

You could never feel ashamed for feeling any kind of way about Danny.

“If it’s make believe, why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?”

It had been a regular occurrence that you would find yourself dreaming of Danny; both when you were awake and now when you were asleep.

He was your escape.

You dreamt of your life together. You imagined weekends at the ranch in Australia. You’d tend to the animals together. Then he would venture off to ride quad bikes around the land, messing about with his closest friends and family.

You’d sit by the pool, soaking up the beautiful Australian sun, happy to watch him thriving in the company of his loved ones.

You both had dreams of a big family, marriage and kids would be a no brainer. If how he was with his niece and nephew was anything to go by, you just knew he would be the most incredible father.

He would treat you the way you deserved to be treated; looked after and cared for. No apology gifts would be necessary, only regular bouquets of flowers he would buy for you “just because”.

He’d hold your hand when you were nervous and ground you when you were anxious. You would laugh more than you had in your entire life, and every day would be a happy one.

You didn’t know if Danny felt the same way about you. The realistic part of your brain told you that he didn’t. But you couldn’t help but feel that fate had brought the two of you together time and time again.

Maybe he was the one who got away. But what if maybe, just maybe, he was the one.

“What if he’s written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind?”

Evan was mad. More than mad, he was pissed.

You had told him a few weeks ago that you had rekindled your friendship with Rosie. You had made up a story about how you had bumped into each other at the supermarket, not wanting to explain how you’d taken yourself out alone to a bar on a Saturday night.

He had believed your story, but couldn’t believe why you would want to be friends with a girl like Rosie. You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from telling him that Rosie couldn’t comprehend why on earth you’d want to be with a guy like him.

Rosie had called you earlier in the day and invited you to her house for a BBQ, she hosted them often during the summer and it was definitely something you had missed. She hadn’t explicitly said that Evan wasn’t invited. She didn’t need to, you knew she didn’t want him in her house. It didn’t matter, you didn’t want him there either.

“But babe, I wanted to spend the night with you, I made plans for us, I booked a table at your favourite restaurant and everything,” Evan pleaded with you. You almost felt bad. Maybe this was his attempt at making more of an effort with you. Maybe seeing you with Danny had made him a little more appreciative of what he had. Maybe.

“I’m sorry, Rosie invited me earlier and I said yes. I didn’t know you’d made plans or I wouldn’t have agreed to go. I can’t cancel now, it would be rude,” you said as you grabbed your bag from the hook by the front door.

“I’ll be back tonight, it won’t be super late, Rosie has a flight in the morning so she wants everyone out by 10PM” you said as a parting farewell.

You didn’t need to see his face to know he was pissed off. The scoff followed by the swear words muttered under his breath were enough of a tell tale sign.

“Whatever, I’m going out with the guys so I won’t be able to pick you up,” he said as he stormed out of sight.

You flinched as you heard the bedroom door slam shut. You knew he was trying to make you feel bad for going out. He wanted you to put down your bag and go running after him. He wanted you on your hands and knees apologising for upsetting him and promising you’d do anything to make it up to him.

It was an easy decision. Without so much of a second thought, you were out the door and on your way to Rosie’s.

The second you had arrived at her house you knew you’d made the right choice. You were welcomed with open arms by all your old friends. It was like you hadn’t been missing from their lives for the better part of two years. You fell back into the motions easier than you had expected. The several glasses of wine had helped.

The night had been fairly overwhelming in that respect. As much as you had missed the company of friends, it had been a while since you had been social around this many people for this amount of time.

It was later in the evening and everyone had decided to move inside to get away from the cool chill in the air. You had opted to stay outside for a little longer than everyone else, needing a moment alone to decompress.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” you heard whispered into your ear. His voice sent shivers down your spine. His deep, alluring drawl was as sweet as honey.

As you slowly turned, your eyes were met with the very same ones that had been haunting your dreams for weeks.

“I’m just glad I didn’t spill my wine all over myself this time,” you said, earning a laugh from him in response.

Daniel Ricciardo’s laugh was one you would recognise anywhere and you never wanted to forget exactly how it sounded.

“I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble with Eric,” the Aussie said with a chuckle. Despite the laugh you could tell his concern was sincere by the way his hand reached out for yours, just as he had done that night in Monaco.

Your hands didn’t touch this time. Before he got too close, he pulled away. You wished that he hadn’t. You longed for his skin against yours, even if it was the most innocent of touches.

“It’s Evan, and he was fine. He gets that way when he’s had a drink. Nothing I can’t handle. He’s all bark and no bite,” you replied with a smile.

You didn’t want him to worry. Evan wasn’t abusive, not physically at least. You could handle his mean words and shitty comments. It hurt when it first started, but by now you were used to it. It was easy to block out once you realised there was a part of you that didn’t care what he thought of you.

Danny didn’t reply to that, just looked at you in a way you hadn’t anticipated. His face was a mixture of annoyed and confused.

He was the joker of the group, the one everyone looked to for a laugh. Yet here he was, lost for words and looking like he was about to get in his car, drive to the other side of London and punch your boyfriend in the face.

It was kind of hot.

The pair of you stayed outside for about an hour after that, catching up even more than you had done a few weeks prior. You hadn’t had a chance to speak to Danny about his career last time, but you were keen to catch up with him about everything that had happened over the last few years.

When you’d seen him all those years ago he had just left Renault for Mclaren. You remembered that he was nervous of the change and scared about what it would mean for his career. You didn’t know him well at the time, but you told him you were proud of him for making such a bold change and regardless of what happened.

Two years later he was no longer with Mclaren. You weren’t a huge F1 fan but you’d kept track of Danny’s career. You had seen all the drama unfold and were disgusted at the way Mclaren had treated him. He deserved better. You were glad he was back in the Red Bull family. He seemed happier, more at peace with himself.

You were forced inside to join the rest of the group by Rosie. She had stomped into the garden declaring the pair of you must join in the drinking games that were going on inside. Danny had reminded her that he wasn’t drinking as he had to be up in the morning for an early flight. The same flight that she was getting on, he had added with a smirk as he watched her down another shot of tequila.

You didn’t hesitate when Danny offered you a lift home. He had asked you how you had planned on getting home as the pair of you had walked out of Rosie’s house and onto the dark street. He’d been outraged when you told him you were planning on walking to the station down the road and getting the tube back home.

“Is Evan not picking you up? Or made sure you at least got a taxi home?” he had asked you. He had that look on his face again. You hated that he was annoyed, but you couldn’t help but feel so incredibly lucky that he cared enough to even be annoyed about your neglectful boyfriend.

You hated feeling embarrassed about your relationship. You were surprised that it had been the hardest part about reconnecting with your old friends.

It was easy to handle the disappointment you felt about Evan’s behaviour when you were the only one who knew about it. Having your friends look at you with sad looks on their faces and offer you reassuring smiles when you told them something else Evan had done wrong was hard to take. You knew they all thought you were a fool for staying with him as long as you had, they were just too kind to say it.

“He wasn’t too happy about me coming here tonight, plus he’s gone out with his friends I think… it’s not the end of the world, he’ll be over it by tomorrow,” you said, forcing a smile to your face. You weren’t sure why you were making excuses for him. Old habits die hard.

“Get in the car, I’m taking you home,” Danny said with a stern look on his face. You weren’t going to argue with him. You would much prefer a lift home as opposed to getting public transport, it was safer and way less hassle.

Plus you really weren’t going to turn down the opportunity to spend a little extra time in the presence of the man who made your heart beat a little faster.

The first couple minutes of the car journey was filled with absolute silence. You focused hard to try and maintain your breathing. The air in the car was stuffy waiting for the air conditioning to fully kick in. Your palms felt sweaty, dripping with anticipation. You weren’t sure why being around Danny had that effect on you. You were on edge, waiting for something to happen.

The rational side of your brain reminded you that it never would. Danny wouldn’t make a move on you, not while you were still with Evan. You wouldn’t want to put him in that position either, it wouldn’t be fair.

The rest of the ride was filled with you directing Danny to your address. Each road that took you closer to home, the closer you felt to exploding. You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell Danny exactly how you felt; to tell him all the thoughts you had bubbling up inside of you that you desperately needed to share with him. You wanted to know if he felt the same. If he thought these things about you too.

As you gave the final direction you knew the opportunity was drifting further and further away from you. Danny pulled up alongside your apartment building and cut the engine to the car.

He angled his body so that he was now facing you. Your brain willed you to turn and look at him, but your bones felt heavy, like they were made of lead.

You hadn’t noticed him moving beside you, too wrapped up in your own thoughts. Danny’s hand gripping your thigh sent you hurtling down from the anxiety spiral you found yourself in.

You turned your head slowly, your eyes meeting his for the first time since you had gotten into the passenger seat of his car.

Danny didn’t move his hand like you had thought he might. If anything it felt as though his grip had tightened as your eyes locked with his. A mental connection between you made the physical one stronger.

“The second you break up with that fuck head, call me.”

Danny’s voice was deep and full of something that you’d never heard before. Not from him, not from anyone. Was it lust, anger, want, need?

His eyes were dark and wild. The usual bright expression was wiped from his face and replaced with one that was much more intense.

No one had ever looked at you the way he had; like you were the finest trophy he had ever been denied.

It felt as though his grip on your thigh had remained. Even as you exited the car and made the ascent up the steps towards your apartment, you could still feel his vice like grip on your skin.

You went about your usual routine once you had gotten yourself inside the apartment.

You lay in bed that night and waited for the sounds of your boyfriend arriving home, it never came.

The feeling of Danny’s hand on your thigh remained, like a phantom touch. You could feel the rough pads of his fingers against you. It felt as though he had traced the word mine into the delicate flesh and it would remain there for the rest of your life.

“One slip and falling back into a hedge maze, oh what a way to die”

Your nights were filled with anxious dreaming. The words Danny had spoken to you in the car echoed round in your mind. He had confirmed it. He wanted you too.

There was an amount of you that considered whether you had imagined what he had said. Had you simply gone mad and hallucinated the whole interaction?

You hadn’t. You knew that even in your wildest imagination you could never have invented the way his touch made you feel.

“I keep recalling things we never did, messy top lip kiss, how I long for our tryst”

You’d been distant from Evan for the past few days. You’d thought he wouldn’t notice, he never had before. But this time he had. Somewhere between the run in with Danny and the rekindling of your friendship with Rosie, he had become suspicious.

“Are you cheating on me?” Evan’s voice rang out around the apartment. He hadn’t shouted it at you, but compared to the deafening silence that had been suffocating the pair of you, it felt like he had. Maybe it was the gravity of the words that had made them seem louder.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from your stomach and past your lips. You regretted it as soon as it happened.

“I don’t know what part of this is funny?” he said with a viscous look on his face. You’d never seen him so enraged. His face was twisted with anger, his skin flushed.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing because it’s funny… it’s just, how on earth could you possibly think that I’m cheating on you? I don’t have a life Evan. I don’t have anyone to cheat on you with. My life revolves around you and when you deem me worthy of your attention. I should be asking you if you’re cheating on me, no?” you said with a shaky breath.

You couldn’t recall the rest of the conversation. Harsh comments and vile accusations had been thrown at you like daggers. You didn’t have the energy to fight back. No matter what you said he wouldn’t believe you. The argument had ended with him slamming the bedroom door and telling you to sleep on the sofa.

As you lay there you couldn’t help but be angry.

You were Angry at Evan for treating you the way he did. If he thought so little of you, thought you were so beneath him, why didn’t he just end it?

You were angry at yourself for staying with him. You clearly weren’t happy. You hadn’t been for months. Your relationship had been on a downward spiral for some time and you had done nothing about it.

You were angry that, despite Evan’s allegation against you being factually incorrect, it did have a base of truth to it. No, you had not cheated on him. But you had been fantasising about a man that wasn’t him. You had been longing for someone that wasn’t him.

You were angry at the whole mess you found yourself in.

Evan believed you had been cheating on him. If that was true, he was a hypocrite. You knew he had cheated on you multiple times. Lipstick stains on shirt collars and late night texts from numbers not saved in his contacts told you as much.

You were angry that you had shown him a courtesy that he had not shown you. It would have been so easy for you and Danny to have crossed a line and ventured into the realms of ‘more than friends’, but you never had.

Your mind wandered to your escape, the place you found yourself more often than not these days.

A messy top lip kiss. Wandering hands. Nails dragging against skin. Stifled sighs.

A tryst that you longed for.

“My bed sheets are ablaze, I’ve screamed his name. Building up like waves, crashing over my grave”

A firm hand gripped your shoulder as you were shaken away from your slumber. Your eyes squinted open as they adjusted to the light that was now pouring through the windows.

You had slept on the sofa last night, after the fight with Evan.

Evan. He was looking at you with a face of thunder. You thought that he would have calmed down by now. You were clearly wrong.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Danny? Daniel fucking Ricciardo? That’s who you’re cheating on me with?” he spat at you.

“Well done babe, I didn’t think you had it in you, a Formula 1 driver,” Evan said, every word dripped with venom as he mockingly clapped his hands.

You didn’t have a chance to ask him what he was talking about before he continued.

“You know, all my friends told me you were a gold digger when we got together, but I chose not to believe them. You didn’t strike me as someone chasing after money and fame, yet here you are, sleeping around with whatever man has the biggest paycheck. The jokes on you, he’s washed and I’ll always be richer than him” he shouted as he walked away from you. He picked his keys up from the kitchen island with such force you were sure they had left a scratch against the marble.

“Evan, I don’t understand-” he cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.

“Here’s a tip, if you’re going to have dirty fucking dreams about your secret love affair, try not to moan his name while your boyfriend is in the room next to you.”

You couldn’t argue back. He wasn’t wrong.

“What if I roll the stone away? They’re gonna crucify me anyway. What if the way you hold me, is actually what’s holy? If long suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly”

A phone call with your mother was not what you needed right now. Evan hadn’t come back since he’d confronted you that morning.

You’d spent the rest of the day anxiously pacing around the house. You’d cleaned every surface, tidied every shelf. You were about to hoover for the second time when your phone rang. You’d expected it to be Evan and had not checked the caller ID. You were caught off guard by the shrill tone of your mother’s voice on the other end of the line.

You had a tense relationship with your parents. Your mother had never approved of much you had done in your life. The only choice you’d made that she had ever praised you for was your relationship with Evan. You knew she’d have more than a few things to say about the situation you found yourself in currently.

“Darling, I got the strangest call today from Evan’s mother. She told me that you’ve been cheating on Evan. Tell me that’s not true dear.”

Typical. Evan had gone crying to his mum, who had decided it was appropriate to air your dirty laundry with yours.

“No mum, of course not. It’s a misunderstanding. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself,” you replied, unsure of how much you should disclose to her.

“Just apologise. You cannot afford to lose him. He’s the best thing that’s happened to you. Don’t throw it all away now,” your mother said, the same tone in her voice as she did when you were a teenager. You had never argued with her back then, but you had done a lot of things recently you hadn’t done before.

“It’s over mum. When Evan gets back I’m going to tell him that we’re done. I can’t be with him anymore. We don’t have a healthy relationship, it’s not fair on either of us. I don’t expect you to understand, but I hope you can respect what I’m saying.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand. Why on earth would toss away a two year relationship with the a perfect man, all for a washed up athlete from Australia. Think of what people will say? Your name will be tarnished! I can’t even begin to think what your father is going to say about all of this, you’ll send him to an early grave!” her voice was like nails against a chalkboard. Each sentence rose an octave.

You’d never hung up on your mother before, but you’d done a lot of things recently you hadn’t done before.

“I choose you and me, religiously”

It didn’t take as long as you thought it would to pack up your belongings. You truly had been living like a guest in Evan’s life. You wondered if he ever really wanted you there in the first place.

The gravity of the choice you were making weighed heavy on your shoulders.

You knew you were throwing a lot away.

A two year relationship with a wealthy man, who had a stable income and whose family name carried a lot of weight in certain circles.

Your parents had already expressed that they would be disappointed in you for leaving him, your relationship with them would be even rockier than it was before.

You had nowhere to live, no place to call your home and lay your head at night.

Despite all that, you knew you’d pick Danny every time.

You picked up your phone and scrolled through your contacts until you landed on his name. You didn’t think much about what you were going to say to him, just pressed the dial button and listened to it ring.

You took a sharp inhale of breath as you heard his voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey pretty girl.”

“Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

✯ authors note: IT'S DONE! i am so sorry this took me so longer than i thought it would. i found out last week i am moving on wednesday and i only just started my new job, so my life has been VERY hectic!

i hope this is ok and you guys enjoy it, it took a lot out of me mentally. some difficult topics are mentioned and i hope i did them justice.

happy race day also!!! i had a good old cry earlier on watching charles win monaco, so so happy for him!

fresh out the slammer is next, not sure when it will be up, i think i'm gonna get some updates done for the blue first.

love you all and thank you again for all your support ✯

143 notes · View notes

myteavsricochet · 11 months ago

Text

I seriously think you are the same person who sent these two asks since they arrived at the same time.

Those who know how to read will have understood that I have never reduced Nick to the simple "white guy", I don't know how many times I have written that he has a great talent and deserves everything he gets and will get but it's useless to repeat it because if you haven't read it the first time you won't read this one either.

If you think that Nick, as white guy, is not a privileged along with all the other white actors in Hollywood then that's your problem and I strongly advise you to get out of your house and interact with the real world because you will realize how it really works. It doesn't mean that all white actors don't deserve what they get, I follow a lot of white celebrities but I am aware that things are easier for them.

About the fandom: Please don't open this topic, I say that for you, or we should talk extensively about what has been said about Taylor all these months or how the same people inside the fandom have been doxxing him and more for months.

If you want to worry about this, then worry about that slice of homophobic Nick fans who enjoy the idea that he used rwrb just to get success but he does't really care about the film, and who enjoys the idea that he no longer interacts with the cast because he hates them and that says Nick only used queer roles to work but wants to distance himself from them now. Because there is all this online, I can bring you the proof if you don't believe it but in dm, so contact me whenever you want 😊

The topic was serious and important. Racism in Hollywood is serious. Poc actors struggling to work is a serious and real topic.

That Taylor suffers racism or is considered less valid or important even by some people within the fandom is a real thing and it's a problem but you still managed to bring all of this to a feud that many of us above have avoided by instead discussing civilly and most important always bringing respect to Nick. Congratulations.

#we received anons saying taylor doesn't work because he's worth less than Nick #and me and other people explained the real problem and how we need to stop comparing them and understand taylor's struggles as a latino man #and here we are with the you just hate nick #nick worked for 10 years #ok? who said differently? that's not the point #some of you just want the fandom war at any cost #another anon like this and i block without even read #ask me anything

5 notes · View notes

slackerlifewhere · 6 months ago

Text

In defense of Deruth

Fair warning, there will be some SPOILERS so if you haven't finished the first novel or you care about spoilers, I suggest you don't continue reading. Thanks!

I'm a reader of fanfics, manga, manhwa, manhua, and novels. I basically consume different stories whenever I'm bored (which I usually am).

But the things I've read most often involve parents, which I'm not really looking for but it's there so whatever.

I had to read stories with basically the same plot but different...ingredients but the thing I notice is that most stories involve abusive or neglectful parents. And it's weird to me. Like can't heroes or villains have good parents and they turn out the way they are because of other circumstances? Obviously, it's because authors want us to root for the character but for me, it's just lazy writing.

So imagine my annoyance when, after reading the first volume of TCF, I see several fics hating and trashing Deruth Henituse and saying he's the worst father in existence.

I get it. He's not the best father. His wife, who he loves very much, died and left him as a single father. He has responsibilities as a count and soon marries Violan who has Basen by then. They have another kid soon after, which is Lily. He seems to entrust the responsibilities of the heir to Basen after OG Cale's reputation took a nosedive. In a sense, he appears as if he doesn't care about OG Cale's feelings and reputation and looks like he's focusing on his other children.

BUT he's not the worst father either. Listen, you may hate him for whatever reason, whether you've consumed too many stories with bad parents or you see yourself in OG Cale, BUT he's an okay parent.

Let me list the top three fathers that are absolutely disgusting compared to him before I explain why I think he doesn't deserve all the hate he's getting:

1. Marquis Stan

We all know what happened to Taylor Stan and while we can blame it on Venion, it's also because of their father. Their father is basically an asshole who wants to see his children fight for the heir's position. And he doesn't care if they end up killing each other for it. It's basically like watching sports for him at this point. He's mainly the reason why Venion grew up into a twisted bastard. While yes, Venion is not innocent in any shape or form after what he did to his brother and Raon, it's obvious he became that way because of his father.

In fact, Taylor is also a victim of Marquis Stan's abhorrent parenting. He's not evil like his family but he learned to be independent and to fight back because he doesn't want to become like them. He died in the original story.

So yeah. Marquis Stan is absolutely disgusting and no one can change my mind that he's the worst existence among all the fathers in the story.

2. White Star

The only reason why he's not number 1 is because he's not a literal father but he does pose as one for DHB. If you know what he did to dragons, then I don't need to summarize it for you. For those who don't, you need to read the novel because it's going to be a long explanation. All I can say is that he's also the reason why DHB became so crazy. And honestly, I'm glad that even if Cale is very guarded at DHB, he still gave him the freedom to choose and repent later on.

3. Zed Crossman

He's the lesser evil of the two but he's kind of like Marquis Stan but tamer.

He basically has his three kids fight for the throne while ignoring or favoring one over the other. And he doesn't even try to hide that he doesn't care too much unless it involves his plans.

He basically wants to see who is more fit for the throne but he doesn't stop them from sabotaging one another.

Honestly, I put all the effort on Tasha and Obante's part that Alberu became a better person. Zed is completely useless.

---

So...is Deruth a bad father?

Before I answer that, here's the thing about OG Cale. He's a complex character who is grieving most of his life and wants to protect his siblings in his own twisted way. In order to do that, he needs to act like he's trash and push everyone away. But is that Deruth's fault? Eeeeh kinda but not really???

They both lack communication as father and son. In fact, the moment KRS, now Cale Henituse, was forcefully transmigrated into OG Cale's world, it's shown that Deruth is trying to communicate with his son.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his own way when Cale sits down to join them in breakfast. He attempts to talk to Cale even though he was hesitant. He seems surprised but happy when Cale answered. Yeah, it's shitty that OG Cale's family and Ron didn't notice he got switched but in all honesty, it'll be hard for a normal person to come to the conclusion that a God was involved. If I were in their shoes, I would find it suspicious (probably thinking that something happened that changed that person's actions and personality) but I wouldn't think of transmigration or God of Death. Conspiracy theories aren't the first thing I'll think of. That's just dumb to use as an excuse for hating the Henituse family.

People, fans, want family drama but in all honesty, they're just ruining OG Cale's character in the way they do it. It's actually disrespectful to his sacrifice for his family. He made that deal with God of Death not only because he wants to see his mom but also because he wants his family to live after they all died in the war against the White Star. He lived through that war with him as the sole survivor of the whole family. That sucks. He could've stayed but he didn't want to and also because he already died in the future anyways. If he wants to help them as himself, I doubt he'll shut up about it to the God of Death, regardless if it's a literal god he's gonna argue with. Let me remind you that this guy is so stubborn, he made a trashy reputation to help his brother.

Instead of doing it himself, he chose to let KRS (who didn't know he's going to be involved in a war in another world btw) save his world and family in exchange for seeing his mother. He chose to leave not because of Deruth (not completely, at least) but because he simply wants to. And he's content with his decision, regardless of his regrets.

By the way, his mom, Jour, is also not pretty great if you think about her decision before she died (my unpopular opinion but whatever). I do think her final conversation with him and her following death traumatized him in a way that I can't help but feel angry for him. It's mainly the reason why he hates the Harris Village that Choi Han ended up in. It doesn't excuse his reaction to the village later on but it does explain why he hates the place, even if it's not their fault his mother died. So yeah, I don't like his mother (I'm not talking about her reincarnation btw. She's a kid). That's not the way to care for your son, ma'am.

Deruth is obviously trying but a relationship needs to work between two people and not just one. That's what you call a one-sided relationship, guys. It's why OG Cale and Violan are not close. Both of these characters don't try to be close, maybe not because they dislike each other but maybe because of a misunderstanding or whatever (who knows).

Cale only got close to her because he actually treats her with respect (also because...you know...he's an orphan and was abused as a kid so deep inside, he thinks Deruth and Violan are good but not the best parents). And whenever Cale gets hurt or is in a bad situation, we sometimes get their reaction. They're worried and angry for him. They want him to stay away from danger. In fact, the last few chapters are basically Deruth getting angry at Cale for endangering himself (completely understandable).

You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. Well, let me just tell you as someone who's been depressed since I was a kid that whenever my parents try to ask me what's wrong, I usually reply with "nothing" or "I'm fine." So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk.

So yeah, I think KR novels and manhwa are basically the reason why some readers immediately jump in defense for the character they like because of possible abuse and neglect from parents. Without thinking about it properly. Like please, if you hate a character, at least try to understand them first and list down the other worst characters before you actually say that they're the worst.

Side note: The worst thing that I also notice is fans also target Basen and Lily. They include the whole Henituse family and write a fanfic about how abusive or neglectful all of them are. BASEN AND LILY ARE LITERAL KIDS. WTF ARE YOU GUYS THINKING. They didn't do anything to OG Cale??? They're just there?

Did I just create an account to rant about how stupid some fans are? Yeah, pretty much. You can hate on Deruth but don't include the kids. They're kids??? Without any involvement with OG Cale and Deruth's drama?

Reminder: I haven't read the second volume because I'm planning to read it when it's completely translated. That way, I won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.

#tcf #tcf manhwa #tcf fanfic #tcf novel #tcf spoilers #tcf cale #tcfderuth #tcf white star #tcfzed #trash of the count's family #lcf #lcf novel #lcf cale #cale henituse #deruth henituse

176 notes · View notes

muddyorbsblr · 9 months ago

Text

the warmest bed i've ever known

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: dating era; a few days after 'when the feeling sinks in'

Summary: Tom has convinced you to go back to London with him for a few weeks, and a photo of you two out and about together has opinions firing left and right.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings (spoilers ahead): language; big hater behavior towards Reader; attempted breakup; angst; brief mentions of past bullying [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Tomathy fully in his comforting precious bf era

Numb.

That was the only word that came to mind right now to describe what you felt, staring at your screen with all the hateful vile words that people who didn't even know you were flinging your way. And all because of the man you were dating. And how much you looked like a downgrade compared to his ex.

Then again it really shouldn't have surprised you, considering the turn your life had taken in the last few months. Hell, the last few days. There was really no other way for these nameless faceless spineless people to react when the man you'd started dating was none other than Tom Hiddleston.

And the figuratively ridiculously large shoes you had to fill considering the rising power of said ex…was Taylor Swift's.

You shouldn't have gone online. Checked Twitter. Checked anything, really. They rarely if ever had anything good to say, it was a special kind of stupid and naive for you to think that someway somehow you and your relationship were going to be the exception to the vitriolic rule.

Now here you were, screechy voices filling your mind, spitting out the words that your eyes scanned when you opened the cesspool of a sight.

Nothing special

Unremarkable

Fucking stab my eyes out with a rusty fork ugly

To be completely fair, you'd seen worse when you were still in school, every day inundated with the mocking words that sociopaths with hormones on overdrive wielded recklessly like a goddamn balisong without care that the person on the receiving end was actually a person. And if that was the shitshow you experienced from people brave enough to sign those sentiments with their name and say it to your face with chests fully puffed out, then the bravery of these people when they were all snuggled up under the protective cover of anonymity really shouldn't have shocked you.

Finding out who they were behind the screen and dealing out retribution on your own terms would have been a simple enough task. After all, you'd done it before, and even with the current advancements in technology and the tighter security protocols centered around protecting user data, you still managed to keep a few tricks in your bag that you could whip out if the need ever arose.

There was just one thing that stopped you from doing just that. A part of you agreed with the vicious comments. It was easy enough to ignore when people in school were just making hateful pages about how you sucked and how no one would ever genuinely like you. Or when they made pages pretending to be you so that they could dole out their paltry attempts at trying to ruin what little reputation you had at the time.

When you dealt with them on that comparatively smaller scale, it became easy to numb yourself to their words, drown them out until they were just white noise in the background, keeping you focused on the path you laid out for yourself rather than distracting you. It gave you a drive to work harder and better so that you could get as far away from them as possible.

On this scale, the background noise was so strong, so loud and overwhelming that every step you took to fight it seemed to take every ounce of your strength. It felt like there was no way out. You couldn't just hunker down and work hard so that you could get away from it all this time. And you couldn't exactly ignore them, either.

How could you? When they were voicing with pinpoint accuracy every insecurity that plagued you ever since you agreed to be his girlfriend a few days ago. Ever since your first night with him months ago.

So is this some sort of Make-A-Wish thing? That's it, right? She's on her last few months and she wanted to live them in delusion?

Fifty bucks says Tom's active on Raya right now. Quick someone send me an invite link I wanna shoot my shot. Tommy don't worry baby I'll save you from whatever the fuck mistake you got yourself into.

How the fuck do you go from Taylor Swift to that?

The most prevalent remarks in the last few hours had to do with a sighting of you sitting on a park bench, working on creating a wardrobe piece for an upcoming show that, if all went well, would start filming in a few years. The book author and the prospective showrunner got in contact with you after a glowing recommendation from Taika, and they talked about struggling to find the perfect scarf that would serve as one of the series' focal points.

After a few discussions and so many skeins of yarn that there was now an oversized tote bag in your hotel room overflowing with various shades of dark teal and peacock blue, you started crocheting a sample size of the pattern to show the author later on in the afternoon before you went to meet Tom for dinner. And that was how you were spotted this morning, sitting quietly on the bench, eyes on your project while your boyfriend was taking Bobby for a walk.

And for some reason the internet was up in arms over that,

Are you really fucking telling me this boring ass bitch that's giving old lady crocheting a goddamn scarf is fucking riding the God of Mischief every day? Nuh uh nope I don't believe that. Our Tommy deserves someone fun, and actually fucking pays attention to him and not a ball of yarn. Our baby deserves so much better than this.

You stared at the desk in front of you, your sample scarf to the left, and your laptop at the center, the screen now black from inactivity. You couldn't bother to move to check the time; your reminder would ring when your call would start. All you could bring yourself to do was remain exactly as you were, knees drawn to your chest with your arms around your legs, shaking and doing your damnedest not to break out into sobs over the knowledge of what you were about to do as soon as the door opened.

It was a good run, you told yourself. More than I deserved.

The sound of the front door opening jolted you back to reality, the voices finally dying down somewhat. Unfortunately, hearing Tom's voice started the voices right back up again.

"Y/N, darling, have you finished with your call? I was hoping we could go out tonight for dinner and--" His words stopped abruptly once he got to his study, seeing you in the position you'd been in for the last few hours, and immediately rushed to your side, crouching in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What's wrong, goddess?"

"I uhh…I have to go back to Los Angeles. I'm gonna see if I can make the next flight back." You didn't dare meet his eyes, still trying to hold back any tears.

He let out a breath, sounding almost relieved before he pressed a kiss to your hands. "That shouldn't be much of a problem, I can pack a bag and we can be on the next flight out--"

"No," you cut him off, wincing at your tone. "I'm going alone. There's no need for you to go with me, I'm sure you have some other things to do here. Better things."

There was a slight tremor in his hand as he cupped your face, gently turning your head to look at him. He took a shuddering breath seeing the tears swimming in your eyes. "What's happening right now, sweetheart? Please. I don't understand what could have brought this on, we had a lovely morning--"

"I thought I could do this," you choked out, finding it difficult to form coherent words without starting to blubber. "I thought I could drown the voices out, not let them get to me but…they're too loud. They're ruthless and vile and they have megaphones and they're right." You shook your head to turn away from him, burying your face between your knees, the all too familiar feeling of shame flooding your system, shrouding over you like an overly weighted blanket. "I'm not strong enough to do this with you. And you deserve someone better than me."

You took your laptop off of Standby, your screen illuminating and showing him the harsh words that had been haunting you since you stupidly decided to check the internet just minutes after he left the house. He began to visibly tense as his eyes scanned the pages seeing all the hateful things literal strangers had to say about your relationship.

"Look we gave it a shot," you tried to tell him, making a motion to get out of the chair which made him put his hands on the armrests, effectively keeping you in place. "But I think it's time to call it. I'm not good for you, and you deserve someone--"

"No." His tone was low and resolute, hands staying firmly on the chair, refusing to let you go anywhere. From a certain perspective, it was a smart enough move, considering that if he let you go right now, you'd probably sprint out the door in the name of doing what you thought would be best for him. Even if it meant ripping your own heart out in the process. "This can't be over already, we've only just begun. The time I've had with you has been extraordinary and I know that if we keep going, it'll get even better. You've made me so happy and--"

"You'll find someone that makes you happier," you dumbly shot back, the sentiment hitting you so hard that the tears finally began to fall. Even the thought of him potentially moving on so quickly after this already had you ready to sob. "Someone stronger. Someone that can handle all of this or hell someone they'll actually like--"

"Those people don't care for my happiness," he said in a rush, tears filling his eyes as well. "No matter what I do, there's always going to be someone hateful that has something to say, and they'll always think they're right. It's so clear that they don't give a damn about what actually makes me happy because if they did, they wouldn't be saying these disgusting lies about you, trying to get into your head."

There was a desperation in his tone that tore at your heart; no part of you wanted to do this. But seeing every single insecurity that you'd had ever since you said yes to being his girlfriend, yes to going to London with him for a few weeks, and generally just yes to spending the next few however months of your life with him, all laid out in print echoed by so many others? You knew he deserved better than this, better than someone that would ultimately have to be hidden away so that these people would stop coming for his throat for his 'poor choices'.

And when you knew that what would be best for the man you ached to give your heart to was to actually tuck your heart away and run, how selfish would it be for you to do the opposite?

The feel of his hands framing your face brought you back to your thoughts, the frantic pleading look on his face robbing you of your breath. "Do you want to leave, Y/N?" You wanted to scream No of course I don't, I want to stay with you. But you found yourself unable to form words. All you could do was shake your head as more tears fell from your eyes.

He pressed his lips to yours, pulling you into his arms the second you crossed your hands behind his neck and lifting you out of your seat. He didn't break the kiss until he'd carried you to his bedroom, setting you down on the edge of the bed. Then he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before sinking to his knees in front of you, taking your hands in his.

"Then don't leave. Stay with me. We'll stay in and stay away from prying eyes so nobody gets to say anything about you, we'll--"

"You shouldn't have to make adjustments in your life for the sake of making me comfortable," you argued. "You should be with someone that can face all of this, not cower in a corner licking her wounds needing to be protected if she so much as gets seen stepping out of your house like some tiny helpless baby animal. You deserve to be with someone you can share everything with, without the worry of people shooting you down just because I'm not pretty enough or tall enough for them. You can have anything and everything you want with a snap of your fingers, I'm sure it won't be that hard to find someone that--"

Tom stopped you from letting out another word, holding you by the back of your head and pulling you to him for a desperate kiss. "I don't want anyone else, I want you. I don't give a fuck what anyone else wants to think about how I choose to spend my life and who I choose to share it with, because I know better. You're enough, you're more than enough. And if a few precautions and adjustments have to be made to make sure they can't get to you, then I'm more than happy to do all that and more.

"Our first night together I told you I just want you. As you are. That I want to make you happy." He rose from his knees, pressing a kiss to your cheek and working his way to your ear. "That I want to satisfy you. Do you remember?" You could only nod, trying and failing not to melt against him as he kissed below your ear. "I'm going to add that list of wants now. I want to make sure you feel safe, with every means I have at my disposal."

He guided you down until your back was flat on the mattress, kissing down your neck as he did so, his lips trailing a path down to just over your heart. You found it near impossible to breathe, finding yourself overwhelmed with how gentle and tender he was handling you.

"I want to love you," he said, meeting your eyes with a look that you could only describe as surrender. "I know you're not ready to hear it yet, but this can't wait anymore. You need to hear it. You need to know that the only way for me to actually have everything that I want is if I get to share everything I have with you. I need you to know that your leaving would rip my heart out." He made his way back up, stopping when your faces were mere inches apart. "I need you to know who you'd be leaving." He brushed his lips across yours in a featherlight kiss. "You would be leaving a man so completely, so desperately in love with you."

You tried to speak, but all you could manage was inaudibly mouthing his name, the sentiment you tried to stomp down just a little over a week ago fighting its way back up to the surface. Practically shouting from the back of your throat.

"I love you," he breathed out. "Please, sweetheart. Don't do this. Don't leave. Whatever you want, whatever you need so that we can make this work, we'll find our way through this together just please…I'm begging you don't tell me that what you want is to rid yourself of me--"

"That's the last thing I want," you managed to choke out, your eyes stinging with even more tears. You swallowed the lump in your throat, mustering every ounce of strength you had left to finally say the sentiment you prematurely blurted out when he first popped up at your house. "I love you, too."

You woke up the next morning the same way you'd been ever since you and Tom first got together, his arm wrapped around you, the butterflies fluttering violently in your stomach from how he held your body against his without a stitch of clothing between you two, along with the tender kisses he peppered along your shoulder. It was a routine you'd not only found yourself getting comfortable with, but you were looking forward to it whenever you felt yourself rousing from sleep.

And that part scared the living daylights out of you.

Relationships? Routines? Your mind wandering to that place that you said you never dared think about in the context of being in any kind of relationship again, because the last time you did, the rug got pulled out from under you and threw your life and the future you envisioned into a blender?

You swore to yourself that day all those years ago that you were never going to let yourself get this comfortable. That you would always have your safety measures in place so that you never had to worry about having to scramble your way back up to your feet without any sense of direction.

And you did. You had your measures. You had your walls up. You put your heart under lock and key and said you'd never give it to someone again. Yet here you were, basically opening the chest and telling Tom that it was right there for the taking.

A chest you couldn't close again even if you tried. Even if you wanted to.

The feel of his lips pressing a kiss between your neck and shoulder had you letting out a tiny whimper, making him smile and hum against your skin. "Good morning, goddess."

You were growing concerningly comfortable with that, too.

He moved you until you were lying with your back flat on the mattress, brushing his nose across yours as he gave you a contented smile. "I love you."

You couldn't help the smile that stretched across your own face hearing the words. "Hmm…careful, you keep talking like that I might get used to it."

He laid his lips on yours, giving you a tender kiss as he gently ran his hand down the side of your body before stopping at your hip, his thumb stroking your skin. "I want you to get used to it, because I'll be saying it a lot from now on." His lips traced a line down to the base of your throat. "I love you," he murmured against your skin repeatedly as he kissed along your collarbone.

"I love you, too," you whimpered as he kissed his way down to your stomach, his shaky exhale warming your skin even more. You placed your hand on his shoulder, leading him to refocus his attention to kissing his way up your arm. "I really stepped on the ledge yesterday…" you trailed off, struggling to take a deep breath as you tried to find the words, ultimately settling on the simplest ones. You weren't likely to find better words anyways. "Thank you for talking me off of it."

He took his time kissing his way back up to your lips, never breaking eye contact. "Always, my love." The new endearment, paired with the way he tenderly kissed your lips, had your head spinning. "I'm going out to get us some breakfast. I'll be back in an hour. Go back to sleep, sweetheart."

Those words had you stirring, making a motion to sit up on the bed. "What? No, you don't need to do that, you'll get papped. Gimme a few minutes to get dressed, I'll do it."

"If you go out, they'll photograph you, too," he argued. "Pictures of us are still fresh on their minds, which means these vultures are still very much on the lookout for you out and about, waiting to take pictures in hopes of selling them to the sleaziest gossip sites. Give it a week, maybe two, and they'll refocus their attention on someone else. Them and the internet."

You slumped back into the bed with a soft thud, surrendering to the fact that unfortunately, the logic made sense. You needed a good few days to let your face and those photos fade into relative irrelevancy. "You probably need your team to spin some story on why we were seen together, too," you sighed, the discomfort of having to let the wheels turn in your head before you've even had a bite of food or a sip of coffee starting to make you skittish. "I mean, the saying goes that we can't put the genie back in the bottle, but what if it isn't fully out yet? We still have a chance to…I don't know, mitigate the situation?"

Tom rested his forehead against yours, letting out a deep sigh as he laid back down on the bed as well, pulling you into his arms so that your head rested on his chest. "One day it won't be this toxic."

His words had you giggling, looking up at him and pressing a kiss to his chin. "It's adorable that you think that, but no. But one day maybe the voices of those who would genuinely just be happy for you would be louder than these snakes in the pit with their megaphones. And maybe one day I'll be strong enough to not give a fuck about any of it."

He tightened his hold on you, arms snaking around your body in an embrace that had you falling even more into that dangerous place of way too damn comfortable. "Until then I'm going to do what I can to keep you safe. It'll only be a few weeks at most. Maybe less if we're lucky and someone causes a scandal." He pressed numerous soft kisses to the tip of your nose, breaking out into a smile when his attentions caused you to let out a soft giggle. "For now, I get to keep you in the house. All to myself." His smile turned into a mischievous grin as he rolled you on to your back, rasping the next words, "Like my own beautiful brilliant little captive."

"A very willing captive," you shot back, once again going breathless when he started kissing you all over your neck and chest. "Be careful out there? Don't let them get a reaction out of you, no matter what they ask. Or what they say about me."

"I will," he mumbled, humming against your skin as he placed open-mouthed kisses along the side of your body, nipping at your waist before pulling away. He made his way to his closet, shooting a playful knowing glance at you when he saw how you propped yourself up on your elbows to enjoy the view. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart," he chuckled, throwing on his usual running gear of a black t-shirt with the Legendary logo and black shorts that were definitely a size too small with how the garment hugged and accentuated his hips and upper thighs. Not to mention how those shorts made it all too obvious that your boyfriend happily and proudly chooses neither when it came to the age-old debate of boxers or briefs.

He walked back toward the bed, sitting on the edge and leaning over you to capture your lips in a heated kiss, as if it had been weeks since he'd done it last rather than mere minutes. His hand freely roamed your side, lightly grasping at your hips while he slowly laid you back down flat on the bed. Once he had, he broke the kiss to press his lips to the tip of your nose, then to your forehead.

"I'll wake you when I'm back home. Promise me you won't check on those pages again. None of them deserve our time, or our emotions. I love you, goddess."

"I promise. I love you, too."

A/N: Welcome to the second part of the 'said it first' arc! This would probably be the angstiest moment in their entire relationship and precious bf meow meow really answered her "I'm leaving" with "No ur not I love u 🥺" and we love him for it your honor

Three more parts to this arc and hopefully I can pull myself out of playing my lil games long enough to actually get to writing any of the pieces in my rotation 😅🫡

Here's a gif for everyone who reads 'til the end of the post…this be what the blorbos were like in that last scene:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston imagine #muddyorbs writes

265 notes · View notes