#but rn im like
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the mentally ill urge to delete this blog
#the only reason is what if im too cringe#like. no one rlly cares either way#which is usually inspiration to ne#but rn im like#i need to delete my fics and oc blogs#im not doing it right#i bet everyone ive interacted with thinks im annoying and cringe#personal post
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Pixel QUICK what's that thing you reblog all the time where like, Donnie was mutated into a monster? There's always a drawing on top and then like the chapter of a fic on the bottom. I don't remember what it's called but I need to FIND IT
Wait wait. I actually don't know what you're referring to, so now you must share
#my memory is so bad#but i for the life of me dont recall reblogging something like that#but im curious#watch me be like#OHHH I KNOW#after i see it#but rn im like#i have no recollection of anything#pixel replies
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they should invent an understanding and intellectualizing your feelings that makes them go away!!!
#like everything im feeling rn can be explained by 1. shortest day of the year 2. lack of structure and physical separation from my friends#3. my brand new anxiety and depression diagnoses#4. [redacted]#but im still feeling so wretched
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take your clothes off and get on the bed what no we aren’t having sex right now we’re cuddling and pressing every inch of skin together as close as possible for the next six hours
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#sometimes you just need to be CLOSE ya know#also i went to bed really early last night and slept So Well#and i just woek up and im still realllll sleepy#which is why i seized the chance to post this#because i get too shy and embarrassed to whenever i try to do it when im not half asleep#pointign and laughing at fully awake me rn🫵#lmao loser ass🫵🫵🫵#now it’s posted and there’s nothing you can do about it#im gay and i like sleeping
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part 1 of this post :3
if anyone has any silly sonadow comic / art ideas send me an ask pls i need to keep creating cutie patootie sonadow content 🙏 sfw ONLY you goobers
#sonic and shadow#sonadow comic#sonadow#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sth fanart#sonic 3#sonic movie 3#i'm neck deep in this hyperfixation right now guys i feel like im going to explode#all my brain knows is sonic and shadow rn#they are ruining my life
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ok so i think that my favourite fantasy subgenre is The Inherent Tragedy Of Being Born Into Royalty. which mostly means that i like to read about gay princes but with some nuance
#ethically i am opposed to monarchies and empires. i think being born into a royal bloodline is inherently traumatising#which makes for the juiciest tastiest drama in stories obviously#either you become a bad ruler and people will suffer at your feet. or you become a good ruler and you no longer belong to yourself#how much will you sacrifice at the altar of your ideals?#It Compels Me. Narratively#also books like the goblin emperor have a big autism appeal in like. the court had a lot of nonsensical rules and you have to mask so much#apparently i am such a parody of myself that whenever im like. i have a drawing of my current blorbo#my friend immediately assumes it's a prince based on their vibes#IT'S NOT ALWAYS A PRINCE... SOMETIMES IT'S THE EMPEROR'S SECRETARY.... OR A DEMON WHO'S A KNIGHT.............. I CAN BE DIVERSE#anyway im currently reading the hands of the emperor AND a prince4prince web novel. that's the vibes rn
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So. A THING I noticed about Legends ZA.
I've immediely fallen in love with the designs for the girl rival and protag, yeah? So I've taken a bunch of screenshots so I can, y'know, Draw Them.
And.
They're the same fucking person.
The eyes, the bangs, even the hair swoop at the back. Their designs are THE SAME other than outfit and colouration. So I've gone and doublechecked the male rival and protag and? SAME THING
Same little hair swoop and eyeshape. Wonder if theres a lore reason or???
#pokemon#pokemon legends za#pokemon legends za spoilers#I might be going insane its like 2am rn#but I SWEAR IM ONTO SOMETHING
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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jon needs a door and i need a fucking break from this weather uhhh
music from the..floor?? ♪┏(・o・)┛♪
#tma distortion#tma michael#tma podcast#the magnus archives#jonmichael#jondistortion#michael distortion#michael shelley#tma#tma fanart#i couldnt find full version of this song anywhere but its like#suits the occasion so to speak ksljdfkjsd#on my second run of rereading jonmichael fics#yesterday i was just sitting on the floor reading screenshots that ive made#of the fave moments from the fics...........................#thats where im mentally rn#phphph#optical illusion
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evil guy and his evil cat but the cat is actually the mama and the guy is her kitten,,


#am i making sense here#its eepy time when ravage says its eepy time and not a moment later#gfhrgufh i should be animating rn but imso im so like urghfhg#my art#soundwave#ravage#laserbeak#buzzsaw#rumble#frenzy
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Spring songs 🐦⬛🎵
#spring dragon stickers are done and here!!!!!!!#WOOO#ill upload them to my shop when i get home …… im stuck in LA rn cuz my flight back home was cancelled due to weather#hope u will like them :3#tho uh lol#they’ll be available for like 1 week- then gotta close shop for 3 months >.>#while i’m out of the country#oof things are busy rn#but feeling p satisfied despite everything#dragons#art#fantasy art#dragon#fantasy illustration#inks#fantasy creatures#dragon art#artists on tumblr#birds#bird art#spring art
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Briefly considering finding someone to date just so I have someone to bother when I wake up at weird hours of the evening
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Sex is ok but like. have you tried good pasta
#asexual#im eating spaghetti rn so#my brain with most foods:#we'll be very particular about this and separate it into little sections and only actually enjoy this particular bit like once every month-#my brain with pasta: good. very good. give me more now#never had sex but based on other peoples opinions on it its at least rated ok by most people i think
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im watching minecraft parkour civilisation and i feel like such an ipad kid. why am i fully invested. why is this so well executed. why am i so entertained. what the fuck is this witchcraft
#i cant believe i heard “i attack you with a three block jump” and it didnt break my immersion#they're having a parkour battle again rn as i watch and like#im genuinely fucking invested???#i genuinely cant comprehend why im so invested#parkour civilization#minecraft parkour civilization
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love it when people draw aus differently so some ideas for art styles and designs
ink belongs to comyet fresh belongs to loverofpiggies dream + nightmare belong to joku-blog
#utmv#undertale#my art#ink sans#fresh sans#nightmare sans#dream sans#dreamtale#i wrote a lot moree for this post but i just woke up and deleted it instead of hitting send and im not typing it out again#truly love how other people draw sanses. i love you utmv fandom most of the time#especially the two fresh artists that use a pixel brush to draw that is beautiful he looks awesome how does it feel to be so right#pixel art is the move 4 him i think ‼️ described as a 90s piece of trash and so many games that came out in the 90s r pixelated#also wanted to make nightmare’s face + limbs darker and it reminded me of color point cats#so i made dream look vagely like a flame point cat too…. maybe next time i wont blend it#i did a doodle before bed of them both as cats i love cats. my cat is right next to me rn
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