#but progress bars are fun so she included that too. she coded it so when the bar reaches 100% it shows a smiley face with a thumbs-up emote

[the-penguinspy]

Ava x Lilith 😘

thanks for the prompt, esther :) tysm for including the screenshot too, it was impossible to write seriously while looking at the sims option. blasted my focus to bits

--

A quick tug in her belly and then she’s inside the office, muscles tense and body stock-still as her eyes rove around the dark room. Her gaze flicks to the security cameras interspersed along the edges of the ceiling, taking in the lack of blinking red lights – there won’t be any prying eyes on them.

“All clear. Cameras dark, no hostiles. Cam, time please?”

A crackle of the comms, then: “Five minutes, forty-three seconds.” 

“Copy. Thanks, Cam.”

A beat, two. A tell-tale hum at the base of her head, and Ava phases through the ceiling and lands in a crouch beside her. She straightens with a small hop and brushes the imaginary dust off of her shoulders. Ava’s decked out from head to toe in form-fitting dark leather armour, cruciform sword strapped to her back, face set in grim determination, and she’d cut quite the imposing figure of Warrior Nun if she didn’t insist on wearing that ridiculous baseball cap at every opportunity.

Ava looks over to her and smirks, tipping the frayed bill of her cap towards Lilith while giving her a shameless once-over. “Now, what’s a place like you doing in a girl like this?”

Lilith glares. “I’m on a stealth intel-retrieval mission. You are too.”

Ava chuckles, undeterred by Lilith’s sour expression. “Yes, I know.” It only takes her two small steps before they’re chest-to-chest, bodies flush against each other, and the burst of warmth that travels up Lilith’s spine makes her want to spread her wings out to better dissipate the heat. 

“We don’t have a lot of time, just put it in already.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Must you test the limits of my patience in each and every mission?” Lilith hisses.

“Relax,” Ava murmurs, “We’ve got plenty of time.” Her voice drops low to keep the illusion of quiet. Their gazes stay locked as Ava brings a hand to the side pocket of her vest, the growl of the zipper deafening in the silence of the room. 

She retrieves the USB stick and brings it up until it’s within Lilith’s line of sight, and she waggles her eyebrows for good measure before turning away to insert it into the laptop with a soft click. “Okay! Cam, you’re up.” Lilith exhales, slow and even. Focus.

“Copying files now; this shouldn’t take more than three minutes. I’ll let you know when you can remove the disk.”

“Roger that.” The progress bar pops up, percentage increasing at a merry rate. 

The frantic clicking of keys on the other end of the line turns into background lull, the sound familiar and comforting after a dozen missions. They’re on standby until Camila gives them the go-ahead to remove the hard-disk before she installs the virus to infect the local server. Ava’s already drifted off to inspect the various knick-knacks that line the office walls, and when she spots Lilith looking, she grins and jerks her thumb to the item hung behind her. 

Lilith stalks over to inspect the giant shark’s head mounted on the wall, her lip curling at the smooth, polished sheen of its skin. Weird, but definitely not the strangest office decor she’s ever encountered. 

The sudden whir of the elevator’s motors catches Lilith’s attention, her keen ears picking up the accompanying thuds of heavy boots, both ascending to their level. So much for a quiet mission. Her wings spread out and her claws unsheathe in tandem. “Aves, we’ve got company. Cam, status?”

“Just a bit more! Can you hold them off for the time being? There seems to be–” 

Static crackles for a second before the line shuts off completely. “Cam? Camila! Do you copy?”

No answer. “Damn.” Lilith glances over to Ava to find her already looking back, fingers tapping against her own earpiece and shaking her head. The march of combat boots on linoleum is getting louder, loud enough that even Ava can hear it, and she chances a look at the double doors before grabbing the laptop and shoving it into the open space beneath the desk, none too gently. Lilith winces at the dull thud it makes against the hardwood floor before she ducks underneath to hide, both of them barely managing to cower behind the desk. Ava’s elbow knocks into her ribs. One of her wings is caught between her body and the desk; it’s already starting to cramp. 

Ava’s kneeled in front of the laptop, back hunched and eyes squinting at the screen. “Uh, okay – I see the cursor moving around, and the progress bar’s at eighty-five – no, eighty-six percent now, so Cam’s still on it.”

Lilith growls. They’ll manage to have the files copied in time, but not fast enough to make a clean exit before they’re stormed. A fight it is, and Ava seems to have come to the same conclusion as she fidgets with the scabbard of her sword, with the chape of it. Impatience itches under her skin, and Lilith peeks over the edge of the desk, notes the lack of doors aside from the singular set that’s in front of the room – one entrance, one exit. 

A stairwell door bangs open somewhere on their floor and someone barks out a command, and suddenly she feels Ava’s hand cup around the nape of her neck, feels their mouths meet as she gives Lilith a quick but bruising kiss. Ava pulls away but stays close, ‘see you on the flip side’ murmured against her lips. 

Lilith grabs her hand before she can get too far. “Ava, wait.” The shouts get louder, boots thundering down the corridor towards their room. Ava’s forearms tenses in her grip, ready to bolt into action, but she heeds the request and arches an eyebrow; the plan’s already laid out, and Lilith’s never been one to stall. This isn’t the first discreet mission where they’ll have to go loud, either, and it certainly won’t be the last.

Lilith bites her lip and hesitates, the tempo of her heartbeat matching the rapid footsteps outside. Will she, won’t she, why won’t she – oh, fuck it. “Be careful.” 

Ava shoots her a grin, cocky and confident and so infuriatingly hot. “Always am.” 

“You literally got stabbed last time–”

“I love you too.” Lilith scoffs, but she curls the edge of a wing around Ava’s shoulder before she retracts it; nothing more than a light brush, a mere suggestion of something, but Ava’s smile softens. The backs of her fingers stroke gently against the inside of Lilith’s wing, and Lilith swallows; it’s too slow, too tender for a moment such as this, a moment that would very much be stained quick with the flash of steel and blood.

They’re interrupted by a cheerful ding! from the computer, and Ava gives a quiet whoop in celebration at the fully green progress bar. She tugs the thumb-drive out and tosses it up, snatching it out of the air and placing it securely in her pocket, right as the heavy oak doors blast open. Flashlights from guns sweep back and forth as they go searching, searching; the beams don’t find them, not yet. The Director’s office is luxurious in its square footage, but there’s only so much area to cover, only so much time before they’re found. 

Ava adjusts her cap so that it’s bill-backwards before she unsheathes her sword in one smooth, practiced motion. The blue glow of it plays across the contours of her face; it coaxes the shadows to settle above the arches of her brows, between the seam of full lips, behind the firm architecture of her nose. Her cheekbones cut sharp, her teeth glint with hunger, and Lilith thinks she’s never more beautiful than in moments like these – seconds away from a fight, where Lilith can almost taste the energy and anticipation radiating off of Ava’s skin, the thrum of it sharp and sweet in the air. 

She licks her lips. “Exfil?”

Ava looks over as she crouches in place, ready. She looks excited. She looks good. “We’ll make our own way out, Lil, you and me. Now, let’s show these guys exactly who they’re messing with.”

[townofcrosshollow]

Twine Sugarcube 101

AKA, all you need to make a Twine game (I swear to god)

I’ve seen a lot of people go “Twine is too complicated for me :(” and give up before they’ve even started. And that makes me sad, partly because they’re giving up on a really cool hobby, and also because that’s false! It’s absolutely not too complicated for you!

I think the problem is that people look up Twine, see the documentation, and go “There’s way too much there! I can’t learn all that!” Well guess what- you shouldn’t learn all that, at least not yet. As a beginner you can skip pretty much all of this:

(Ignore <<linkappend>> too, forgot to crop that one out)

That’s a lot more manageable, right? Below the cut, I’ll let you know how to use all those remaining important things to make your story! Warning- it’s quite long! You might want to read it in sections! And while I’ll try to keep it entertaining, it’s also a coding tutorial, so... y’know. Might not be the most exciting read if you aren’t trying to learn Twine.

Welcome to below the cut!

First off, make sure your story format is set to Sugarcube 2. On the right side of the home screen (with all your stories), click format and choose the one labeled “Sugarcube 2.x.x” then open a new story with the green button! Here’s what you’ll see and what it all means:

Passages are all like individual web pages that you navigate between to play the game. When they’re linked together they’ll be shown like this:

Anything you write in a passage will just be shown on screen as plain text, no code required! But if you want to make anything more than just one passage with a bunch of text, you’ll have to link passages together with...

Links!

A link is composed of two parts- the text you see on screen, and the name of the passage you’re attaching it to. These are enclosed in [[double square brackets]], with a vertical bar | or a little arrow -> between them. If you want to show the passage name instead of alternative text, you can just put the passage name in square brackets alone! So this in the editor:

[[Visible text|Passage name]]

[[Visible text->Passage name]]

[[Passage name]]

Will look like this in the story:

Visible text

Visible text

Passage name

And all of them will lead to the passage labeled “Passage name.” You don’t even need to create the passage- when Twine sees that you’ve linked to a passage that doesn’t exist, it’ll add that passage for you.

That’s all you need to know! Technically, all you need to do to make a Twine story is add those fancy links between passages. If you add your awesome writing skills, that story will be super cool!

...but you want to do some fancy shit, right? Well let me introduce you to the next step up in complexity,

Variables!

“Variable” is a fun, code-y way to say “a bit of information that can change.” You could say they... vary.

Variables are useful for keeping track of information. If the player chooses to be blonde instead of a redhead, you might want to bring that up again- but you probably don’t want to write an entirely separate story based on that choice, right? So instead you save that information as a variable.

In Twine, variables are written as words with a $ in front of them. So my hair colour variable might be “$hairColour.” If you just write the variable out without any code, Twine will print the information you put into the variable. So if $hairColour is set to “blonde,” this...

She had $hairColour hair.

Will become...

She had blonde hair.

The value in a variable can be a boolean (ie. true or false), a number, or a string (like “blonde” or “any other string of characters”). They can also be fancy stuff like arrays, but we won’t be touching on that.

You can use variables to keep track of a lot of things! For instance...

How much money the player has

Whether a player has a key

What the player’s name is

I keep mentioning the value of a variable or “setting” it, but how do you do that? Well, one way is to add it to a link. If you want a link to set hair colour to blonde, for instance, you could write [[Blonde|Next passage][$hairColour to “blonde”]]. Clicking on that link would forward the player to “Next passage” and set the value of $hairColour to “blonde.”

There is a better way of doing it, however, but we’ll need to talk about...

Macros!

A macro is a snippet of code that runs when you put a special code word inside these <<spiky boys>>. You can write your own macros with JavaScript if you’re smart, find them on the internet if you’re even more smart, or just use the ones that come built in with Sugarcube.

The ones we’ll be talking about, and the ones that are the most important for most Twine games, are <<set>>, <<if>>, and <<link>>.

<<set>>

The <<set>> macro allows you to, you guessed it, assign a value to a variable. For instance, if you want to set $hairColour to blonde... well, that’s all you need to do! It’s just:

<<set $hairColour to “blonde”>>

It’s important to remember with the <<set>> macro that strings (collections of different characters) require quotation marks around them to show the code that it isn’t a number or a true/false value. If you put quotes around a number and try to do math with that variable, you’ll get a big ol’ error message.

If you’re using numbers, you can also use JavaScript operators in place of “to.” Each one will perform a calculation on the variable if that variable is a number, and then replace the variable with the result. If you want to add $5 to the player’s $money, you could use this:

<<set $money += 5>>

The “+=“ will add the number on the right to the variable on the left. “-=“ will do the same for subtraction, “*=“ for multiplication, and “/=“ for division. Easy enough, just don’t forget the = sign after the usual symbol!

By default, the <<set>> macro will be executed as soon as the page it’s on loads. Sometimes that’s useful, but sometimes you would rather the player click a link that sets a variable- like if they choose a hair colour. You might also want the same link to set multiple variables, like subtracting money and giving them an item when they use a shop. How do we do that?

<<link>>

The <<link>> macro is also pretty simple. All it does is create a link, and when that link it pressed it executes whatever is inside of it. Here we’ll be using it with <<set>>, but you can use it with all kinds of different macros and even nest some of them to do really complicated stuff!

As an example, we want the player to click “buy key,” give the player the key, and subtract $5 from their money. Here’s how we do it:

<<link “Buy key”>>

<<set $key to true>>

<<set $money -= 5>>

<</link>>

The text the player will click is in quotation marks, and after all of the macros we need to execute we have to close off the code by adding <</link>>. Easy, right?

But other than printing them on the screen, what can you actually use those variables for? Well, for that we’ll be using...

<<if>>

The <<if>> macro is my favourite, hands down, because it’s an easy way of accomplishing hard stuff. Simply put, <<if>> will check if the thing you asked about is true, and if it is, it will do whatever you put inside of it.

Here’s a simple example:

<<if $key is true>>

[[Use the key|Progress]]

<</if>>

Whatever is inside the <<if>> macro will be executed if the “if” statement is true. In this case, the link “Use the key” will be printed on the screen only if the player has the key. This also applies to code- if you put a <<set>> macro inside, that macro would only set a variable if the player has the key.

Now here’s a more complicated example, to show everything the <<if>> macro is capable of. Here we also want to check if they’ve already opened the door, and display alternate text if they have no key and the door is locked.

<<if $key is true>>

[[Use the key|Progress]]

<<elseif $doorOpen is true>>

[[Walk through|Progress]]

<<else>>

You need to find a key.

<</if>>

I’ll break it down line by line to tell you what each thing does.

<<if $key is true>>

This line is the only necessary one- it checks whether $key has been set to true. You can check for any value that a variable can be, like a number, true/false, or a string. You can also check for other things with this macro- for instance, “isnot” will check that the variable isn’t equal to the value on the right. “gt” or “lt” will check if the variable is greater/lesser than the value on the right, and “gte” or “lte” will check if it is greater than or equal to the value.

<<elseif $doorOpen is true>>

This line allows us to check for something else within the same <<if>> macro. Once the game has checked the original <<if>> and found that it is false, it will move on to checking each <<elseif>> until it finds one that is true. You can have as many <<elseif>>s as you need, and they can check the same variable or different variables, but only the first true one will be executed! And, of course, you can’t use <<elseif>> on its own- it’s stuck to the <<if>> macro!

<<else>>

This line is the last resort- if the original <<if>> and any <<elseif>>s have all been false, the game will execute whatever is after <<else>>. Because of this, there can only be one <<else>> line within any <<if>> macro! If you don’t have an <<else>>, nothing at all will be executed, so whether you include one depends on the situation.

<</if>>

This closes off the <<if>> macro. Nothing special, but very important! Put it after the last piece of code or bit of text you want the macro to control.

Phew. That’s it! That’s all I wanted to show you!

Now, HOMEWORK!

Okay, not homework, just practice. Here are some things you can try building to practice all these tools and get comfortable with how they work!

A store system with different items for different amounts of money

A character creation screen, followed by a description of your character (with variables!)

A puzzle that requires you to choose the right answer to proceed

If you have any trouble, need to ask any questions, or if something in this tutorial wasn’t clear to you, please let me know- you can DM me or send me an ask anytime and I’m happy to answer any Twine questions you have. I hope this was of use to you, and have fun making games <3

[marvelsbetch]

Peter Parker’s field trip part 3

-Peter's POV-

After lunch Owen grouped us all

back together, including Wade, and took us around more labs. There was nothing particularly special about any of them until the corridor we were walking down became all too familiar. We stopped infront of a door to a lab, the door to my lab. Oh God.

"Now, for those of you who don't know and haven't guessed it yet, your class mate Peter works here. This is his lab and I was wondering if he would allow us to see what's inside. Peter?" Owen announced looking directly at me.

"Fine but you have to swear not to touch anything and not discuss anything you see with others." I warned them as I swiped my card and held the door open to all of them.

They all filled in and started looking around cautiously and with amazement. Many people noticed the prototype suits on mannequins at the back of the room. I was helping Dad, Pops, Bucky and Wanda with new designs for suits as well as trying to improve mine. It's been a challenge but we're making steady progress.

"Peter, Mr Stark has told me to ask you to open your connecting doors." F.R.I.D.A.Ys voice rang out across the room.

"Oh dear lord." I sighed and moved to open one of the other doors in the room that connected mine and Dads lab.

There was also a door connecting to a storage closet filled with various building parts. The other doors lead to a bathroom, Pops' art room, The training room and a testing room. There was lots of doors but thankfully I labelled them all.

"What do y-" I started but cut myself off when I opened the door and saw the guardians stood in Dad's lab. Frick!

"Mini Peter!" Drax yelled pulling me into a very tight hug. What's with the bone crushing hugs today?

"What're you all doing here?" I asked pushing Drax away from me.

"Can't we visit our favourite earthling without a reason?" Peter asked putting his arm around me.

"You sound like Thor." I told him shrugging his arm off.

"Don't insult me like that." Peter told me jokingly serious.

"How come I don't get any love?" Wade asked appearing behind me.

"Hey! What am I here for?" I asked him trying to sound offended.

"Beside you." He said putting an arm around my waist and resting his head on mine.

"Hands off Wade." Dad warned with a scowl on his face glaring at my boyfriend.

"Alright Stark, alright." Wade said sarcastically and put his hands up before slowly backing away.

"Don't push me, I'm already letting you stay in my tower, and sleep in his room for that matter." Dad gestures to me with an angry look on his face.

"Moving on, why're there a bunch of gawping teenagers stood behind you?" Peter asked gesturing to my class.

"Well, this is my science class from school. They're gasping because no one believed me when I said I had an internship here but I've proven to have more than that." I explained taking Wade's hand in mine much to Dad's disappointment.

"Anyway, what're you doing next? When're these losers leaving?" Peter asked putting his arm around my shoulders.

"We're visiting the training rooms with Steve, Nat, Clint, Bucky, T,Challa, Wanda, Vision, Strange and Loki." Dad explained making me groan and put my head on Wade's shoulder in annoyance.

"And then they're staying the night and visiting Avengers Tower tomorrow." I told him from Wade's shoulder.

"Avengers Tower?" Drax asked confused.

"It's kind of like our mother ship. It's where we're briefed and de-briefed about our missions and meet up for various things. We used to use this tower but it's less used now." Dad explained.

"They still use it sometimes though. Say, for example, to embarrass me." I said sarcastically lifting my head up.

"Aww, come on Pete, don't you love seeing us all day?" Dad teased grabbing my cheek.

"Not when your soul purpose is to embarrass me infront of my class. Other times, I couldn't thing is anything better." I told him making him smirk.

"Come on then, let's go see everyone train." Dad said clapping his hands together and leading the group through one of my doors and directly into the training room.

"Ah, Midtown I presume. Welcome to the Avengers training room." Pops introduced gesturing to the room around us.

There was treadmills, weight lifts, cross trainers, workout bikes and much more. Over in an empty corner Strange, Wanda and Uncle Loki were practicing their magic where as every one else was doing normal physical training.

"So, who wants to fight an Avenger?" Aunt Nat asked looking across all the students in front of her. "You, with the stupid grin. Come up here." Nat instructed pointing to Flash. Oh dear lord.

Flash confidently made his way up to Nat and just stood there doing nothing. Nat showed him a proper fighting stance and told him to attack. The next few seconds was Nat pinning Flash to the mat before he could react.

"I wasn't ready." Flash breathed out from the floor.

"No one is. That's why she's good at what she does." Pops told him smirking at me. "Why don't you have a go?" He asked me.

"No I'm good. Do you want to?" I asked gesturing to the mat and Nat.

"Oh come on kid. Live a little." Pops coaxed with a smug grin on his face.

"Fine." I sighed detaching myself from Wade and standing in front of Nat. I got into a fighting stance and we started fighting.

After 10 minutes of back and forth between me and Nat I eventually pinned her to the mat to the astonishment to my class.

“Well Peter, good to know nothing's changed." Pops grinned passing me my water bottle and a granola bar.

"Thanks Pops." I said with out thinking.

“Right, now we're gonna teach you basic self defence. We'll split you into groups and go from there." Pops explained turning to my class when an alarm went off.

"Code Green! Natasha and Peter to Dr Banners lab please." F.R.I.D.A.Ys automated voice rang out.

Me and Natasha took off running as fast as we could to Bruce's lab and stopped in front of the door for a brief moment. We could hear crying? Slowly, we opened the door and found Hulk sat on the floor crying.

"Hulk?" I cautiously asked stepping forward.

"Spider Boy!" Hulk yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "Hulk miss his spider boy!" He cried.

"Okay big guy. Why were you crying?" Natasha asked placing her hand on his arm.

"Lonely. Bad Human kept me trapped." Hulk explained as more tears fell.

"Okay buddy, put me down and we can hang out with you for a bit. How does that sound?" I offered.

"Thank you spider boy." Hulk said giving me one last squeeze, breaking my last rib and placing me on the floor.

"So, what do you want to do?" Nat asked sitting on the floor next to Hulk.

"Play outside!" Hulk whined. When did he become so child like?

"Okay, wanna play tag?" I offered thinking back to childhood games.

"Tag?" Hulk asked.

"It's where we run around and touch people gently. The person you touch is then 'tagged' and you must run away from them. You understand?" I explained.

Hulk slowly nodded so Nat took him outside while I called Dad to explain what happened.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Dad asked with my entire class looking at him.

"Yeah he was just lonely and in a mood with Banner. Me and Nat are gonna play some tag with him if that's okay. We'll either be on the roof or balcony." I explained to him.

"Okay stay safe." Dad told me before waving.

"I will. See you later." I said waving back and hanging up the phone.

-2 hours later-

After playing tag with Hulk for way too long we managed to get Banner back. The only think was, we promised Hulk to speak to him later. While my class will still be here. Hopefully he doesn't get scared or feel threatened and we can have a nice and calm conversation with him. We walked back to the training room but no one was there so I called Dad to see where he was.

"Hey, where've you all gone?" I asked.

"We're in the penthouse. How was playing tag with Hulk?" He asked.

"It was fun. We promised we would speak to him later so we need to talk to the class and explain otherwise he may feel threatened or angry." I explained to him getting into the elevator to take us to the penthouse.

"Okay, I'll gather everyone and you three can explain to them." He said.

"Right I'll see you in a minute." I told him before hanging up.

We got to the penthouse and found my whole class plus teacher stood in the living room like they were waiting for something. I walked in with Nat and Banner on either side of me and they all looked visibly shocked.

"Okay, quick announcement if you're all going to be staying the night. What happened before was a 'code green' that means the Hulk. Now, not every time he's here he's angry, so for instance today, sometimes he's just lonely. We managed to get Banner back but promised we would speak to him later so if anyone hears a code green do not freak out. Don't go up to him or anything but don't freak out. That's what'll make him intimidated and angry and that's when people get hurt. Do I make myself clear?" Nat asked giving each individual a piercing glare.

"Yes Miss Romanov." They all said simultaneously.

"Now, you have one hour before food to explore the penthouse. Any door with a red square is a prohibited area, it's mainly bedrooms though. Have fun and don't break anything." Dad warned.

As soon as he finished everyone scattered and tried to find something interesting to look at. Me, Wade, Ned, MJ, Dad, Pops, Nat and Banner all just sat on the sofa and started a movie. As time went on the rest of the Avengers along with Thor, Loki, Shuri and T'challa came in and started to watch the movie with us. We briefly heard and saw my class mates walking around and looking at things in the hallways. They were all very interested in the littlest things.

An hour soon went by and we called everyone back in to talk about food and what we should order. We ended up with Pizza cause who doesn't like that? We ordered 35 because there was a lot of us and I needed like 4 to myself, it was 15 margaritas, 5 Hawaiian, 5 BBQ chicken, 5 vegetarian and 5 meat lover. All large and all delicious. True beauty. We all sat in the living room and no where else would fit us all and ate in pretty must silence.

"So Peter, how come you know the Avengers?" Christie asked.

"The internship. I work closely with Mr Stark and just met everyone from there. It stared with working in projects all night to having sleepovers and it all progressed from there." I explained. It felt weird to call Dad Mr Stark again after all this time of calling him Dad.

"Patricia, how did you get the internship. Stark Industries don't usually hire teenagers." Mrs Robbins asked trying to be polite but made one big mistake. Patricia.

"Well I found Videos of Peter's work on YouTube. I'd also bumped into him at Oscorp at one of your other field trips." Dad explained with emphasis on 'Peter'. Mrs Robbins seemed uncomfortable with Dad's use of my name.

"Well what type of thing do you work on?" Al asked.

"All sorts. Started with building small robots to help with small mundane tasks then working on bigger robots with Mr Stark and then working on suits and weapons for everyone. Now I'm designing them as you all saw before. Btw Wanda, I need you to come to my lab at some point this week to check hour suit out." I informed.

"Okay, maybe after food we could go." She offered taking another bite of a BBQ chicken pizza.

"I can do that." I agreed and finished my slice of margarita.

"Well, why you?" Flash asked clearly annoyed. Shoot.

"What do you mean why him?" Pops asked getting angry.

"Well, with all due respect, why did you hire him? He's nothing special, just a charity case at the end of the day." Flash huffed and Pops' face went red with anger.

"Charity case? What do you mean by that?" Wade asked trying to moving me from his lap but I didn't budge. I knew he'd kill Flash.

"Like with his Aunt, they didn't have money and skips out on school with stupid excuses. You're probably only talking to him cause you feel bad, no need to lie to us." Flash explained and Banner's face turned green.

Everything else happened so fast. First Wade practically threw me off of his lap onto the floor where Ned caught me. Then Banner stormed out of the room yelling and turning green. After that, Dad got up from his seat and lunged forward but Pops caught him and was holding him back in a hug type situation. Nat pulled a knife out. Bucky smashed a pizza. The sofas were floating. There was thunder outside. Loki was evilly smirking. Shuri was holding T,Challa back. Sam was seething in the corner. Clint reached for his bow and arrow. Wade pulled a katana out of god knows where. It was all happening.

"Everybody outside now!" I yelled at the adults and dragged my Dads and Wade out the room behind me.

They all came out and I was immediately attached with question after question after question. Nat was asking if I wanted her to kill them. Dad, Pops and Wade were agreeing with her. Thor was threatening to bring the whole of the Asgardian army. Banner was still no where to be seen. Things really went down hill fast.

"Come on Baby. He made you feel like shit, let me teach him a lesson." Wade tried to persuade pulling me close and putting his hands on my waist.

"No Wade. You're not killing him. You've been doing so well, you've gone a whole 2 months without killing anyone. Don't throw that all away for him. Come on baby, calm down and help me with everyone else." I pleaded looking into his eyes and placing my hands on either side of his face.

"Fine but if he says one more thing not even Hulk could hold me back." He sighed bringing me in for a brief kiss.

"NOT IN FRONT OF US!" Dad yelled all anger seemingly averted to Wade.

"Geeze old man, calm down it was just a kiss. Not as if I fucked him right in front of you is it?" Wade told him sarcastically.

"Stop before your killed." I warned him.

"Mmmm. You're no fun." Wade told me.

"This is all beside the point. Banner's Hulked our and Hulk is not happy about Flash. He's coming straight towards everyone." Nat warned looking at something F.R.I.D.A.Y shown her.

"Oh god." I said as everyone rushed back into the living room to find my class huddled in a corner with Hulk slowly advancing.

Me and Nat ran out infront of them and our hands up to indicate for him to stop. Hulk looked between me and the group with confusion.

"They're mean to spider boy. Why be nice?" Hulk asked.

"Because it's what we do. We're nice to people despite them being mean to us because otherwise we'd be as bad as them. We don't want to be as bad as them. We want to be better. Do you understand?" I explained to Hulk slowly.

"Yes I understand spider boy." Hulk slightly sulked and walked over to a different side of the room where he turned back into Banner.

"How can you do that?" Someone asked hesitantly.

"Do what?" I questioned confused.

"Calm him down. I thought only black widow could do that." They explained baffled.

"Well you thought wrong." I simply told them with a shrug as I walked back over to the couch and sat on Wades lap much to my Dad's disappointment.

"Okay then, what movie should we watch?" Pops asked trying to change the topic and succeeding.

"Okay this is how we're doing it. If you want horror move to the right side of the room. If you want comedy stand to the left." Dad spoke. The majority, including myself and Wade, moved to the right.

"Okay, Annabelle Creation to the right, It to the left." The majority stayed at the right.

"It's settled." Pops announces turning the tv on and playing the movie.

Everyone found somewhere to sit, Dad on Pop obviously, then everyone else who lived at the tower, Ned and MJ squeezed onto the couches. The rest of my class sat on the floor that was covered in blankets, pillows and other types of bedding. It looked quite comfy but nothing was as comfy as Wade.

"So, Parker, how come you're buddy buddy with all of the Avengers?" Flash asked once the movie begun.

"I told you, I'm Mr Starks personal intern and so I met everyone." I lied.

"It's so weird to hear you call me Mr Stark again." Dad pointed out making us all laugh but confused my class.

"Don't start calling me Steve again, too weird." Pops requested earning a few more laughs.

"Alright Cap'ain." I said making us again, laugh a little.

"So, Peter, how did you get your internship?" Al asked.

"Well, it's a long story." I told him trying to think of one on the spot.

"I secretly sent out a message to collages and High schools near by and asked for their most brightest and promising students. I got almost two hundred responses but one from Midtown high stuck out. A boy who couldn't do PE to save his life but could do a university level science equation in his sleep. Sounded like me when I was younger so I spoke with him and after a few trials including him and some other candidates I went with Peter. One of the best decisions I ever made." Dad informed them, lying slightly, making me blush and look down.

"How did that lead to all of this?" Al further questioned gesturing to me and the rest of the Avengers.

"Well, with being his personal intern I followed him everywhere and into meeting for both Stark Industries and the Avengers. He also let me stay here when my aunt had to work late, this then turned into me spending the weekend here most times and some school night. With me spending so much time here I met them all, I was a little awkward at first but got used to them and then the jokes started which turned to minor pranks which turned into Parnell wars which turned into me finding a family in the most unsuspected way." I spoke fondly smiling at the memories of first meeting them and the first prank pulled, Clint decided it would be funny to put shaving cream in all of my pockets and shoes.

"Wow, must be amazing, knowing you can come here at whatever time you want and have the Avengers back you. You're a lucky kid Parker, I'll give you that." Al said.

"I know I am." I spoke, mostly to myself as I took Wade's hand in mine.

"How did your relationship start?" Hayley, a girl from my class, asked.

"That is an interesting story that I'm sure Wade would love to tell." I said smirking slightly.

"Well, I have a tendency to brake in the tower and one time I ran into the living room escaping Stark and found Peter sat on this couch watching Star Wars surrounded my blankets, pillows and junk food. I walked over, sat next to him and had a lovely conversation with him about Star Wars and Star Trek, it was very engaging. Then Stark ruined it by kicking me out and giving me a lecture on communicating with his intern. I clearly didn't listen and came here more often to speak to him, on one of my trips my crush grew too strong and plucked up the courage to ask him out. He said yes much to Starks distaste. We went on a date, shared a kiss and decided to make it official, this was 8 months, 4 days, 32 minutes and 54 seconds ago." Wade told them smiling widely as he pulled me into a deep and loving kiss only to separated by my Dad flicking Wade's ear.

"Wow, that's so sweet." Hayley fan-girled.

Soon enough, nine thirty rolled around and we were all sent to bed, my class was showed to their shared rooms while me and Wade snuck off to my room where he followed through on his earlier promise.

To be continued...

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Thomas Barrow and the Gaydar Myth

One of the really bipolar points in DA fandom is how information spreads in the house. It’s one of many, and this is, of course, because there are millions of people here with our own separate points of view. But it’s rather ironic to go from reading a fan fic about “everyone finds out about Thomas’s suicide and reacts to it because OMG you know they couldn’t keep a secret!” (despite the fact that everyone directly involved has proven throughout the years that they can, if they want to) to people wondering at the fact that all of the straight people in the house apparently have better gaydar than the gay guy, because everyone knows he’s gay, but he can’t get a date.

So I’m going to take a minute to address the whole ‘gaydar’ thing, ‘cause there are (believe it or not!) people who genuinely do not get what it is and how it works.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s super fun to act like gaydar is the queer version of the force and some Jedi mind trick allows us to identify each other without so much as a word. It really is! And there are people who absolutely make it seem that way. But that’s not what’s happening. What is commonly called ‘gaydar’ is, simply put, the ability to read behavioral cues and that has nothing to do with your actual sexuality.

Example:

My queer ass has zero gaydar. I’m an introverted shut in. I don’t go out. I fail the ‘if you can count the number of friends you have who aren’t white, you’re racist!” test because, once you get rid of my family and coworkers (who I only see at work), I can count my RL friends on my fingers. I only need one hand and I won’t run out of fingers. Similarly, I don’t watch a lot of TV or movies. What does all of this mean? It means that while I have a decent writer’s grasp on psychology, picking up on real world gender cues is not a skill I’ve developed. At all. Seriously, I first suspected my female supervisor who wears button down shirts, bow ties, and has a short, military hair cut might be gay when she mentioned in conversation that she was gay. Until he mentioned his boyfriend in conversation, I strongly suspected that my supervisor who talked with his hands, had very swishy body movements, and spoke – not with a lisp, exactly, but with a very distinct, sort of flirty speech pattern was quite likely gay. I’ve not even suspected most of my queer coworkers – even the ones who, in retrospect, are advertising pretty hard – until they mention relationships. I am that bad at this!

Meanwhile, you have my Dad and Step-mum. Both straight, both cys, but very social, extroverted people, and an active part of any work or community environment they’re a part of. For years anytime a church in our conference wanted to establish or expand a queer presence in their congregation, Dad was one of the go too pastors. This was even after we had openly queer clergy. He’s got good gaydar. If  gaydar really were a Jedi mind trick, my Step-mum would be the ultimate Jedi master. Seriously, she can spot a half way to Narnia closet case at fifty paces. She’s that good.

So how does this relate to Downton and Thomas Barrow? Easy. The most relatable thing about Thomas, for me, is that he fails at reading cues. He tries, but he is not an expert. Now, people point to the amazing underground queer scene in England at the time, but that was underground? And it wasn’t everywhere. Basically to find it you had to know someone or stumble upon something. That doesn’t seem like much to our well connected age, where you can find out anything you want at any time you please, courtesy of the internet, but again, consider: My country passed or upheld two really amazingly progressive bits of legislation in 2020, and the only reason I know about them is because my parents told me. My social media – which is full of progressive liberals who are all for this sort of thing – didn’t say boo about it. So if I can nearly miss History Making political moves when I have access to the ‘net, is it really so hard to believe that a shop boy turned footman isn’t In The Know as far as England’s gay scene, outside of what he reads in the papers, of course, which is would not include the location of the nearest gay bar...unless the police had just raided it. Or it was queer coded to the point that only someone who was really good with the lingo, aka Not Thomas, would recognize it.

There’s a rather good post out there already about how Thomas’s experience with other gay men seems to be entirely upper crust, so I won’t repeat that at length here. Suffice to say any experience he has with the underground gay scene would quite likely involve someone like the Duke of Crowborough taking him to a club where he wouldn’t be at all welcome if he weren’t on the arm of the Duke of Crowborough, and it is also not impossible – or even unlikely – that the Duke is the one who started that relationship. Thomas has clearly picked up an idea of how to figure things out, but it’s clumsy as hell – see his attempts at figuring out Jimmy. People might scream predator at the top of their lungs because ‘OMG INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING!” but honestly? That’s probably what it would look like if someone told me I had to figure things out without just asking. Only ten times more awkward, because Thomas at least has enough experience with toffs to give him some sort of confidence.

Meanwhile, the older servants of the house are, well, older. Upstairs, Lord Grantham went to Eton. They’ve all traveled, because staying at one house for your entire career wasn’t very typical. There are a good number of people in the house who would actually have far more opportunity to develop a good gaydar than Thomas. Mrs. Hughes had known other queer men. Mr. Carson was in theater, a famously queer heavy occupation, although even there he probably isn’t as good as he thinks he is. Who knows about that absolutely punchable butler from Season 6? And all it takes is one gossip to figure out what’s going on – and I’m not looking at Mrs. Patmore here, but….yes, actually, I am – and there you go! A miracle if the whole village isn’t in on the secret!

So, yeah, it’s not at all unbelievable that there would be people in the house with better gaydar than the gay guy and that they would spread the word. And while that may not make Thomas the ultimate representative for the London gay scene at the time – or even the York gay scene – it makes him a really good rep for people like me, who aren’t connected, in a world where the people with spot on gaydar are becoming the norm in fictional representations, and funny thing, I appreciate that.  It’s nice to see someone who is, more or less, the way I’d be if I’d grown up in an unsafe environment rather than my so-supportive-no-one-believes-it’s-real household.

[spacebatisluvd]

Imp(erfection)

Summary: Clones do not have birthdays. (This is fluff, with a dash on angst.)

CW: Self-censure. I’m gonna tag for gaslighting out of an abundance of caution. Past abuse. Hordak’s horrifying view of himself, including ableist thinking.

A/N: Every time I try to use a readmore, it fails. I am going to attempt it, but please forgive me if this is a long post.

Read on AO3

[[MORE]]

-

Hordak didn’t look up from his work when Imp landed beside him. “Do you have something to report?”

Imp’s wings flapped once, then he folded them neatly and sat down. He opened his mouth to play a recording:

“[Happy Birthday, Force Captain!]”

Hordak didn’t look up. “That’s fine, Imp. I’m given to understand it’s an Etherian tradition. So long as they are not overly disruptive, I allow them to celebrate if they please.”

“[Happy Birthday] [Imp].”

Now Hordak gave the little clone his full attention. “You do not have a birthday. You were not born.”

“[Lord Hordak!]” Imp punctuated the recording of Shadow Weaver with an inquisitive chi-rup?

“No. I was not born either. We were decanted; it’s not something to be celebrated.”

Imp made an angry screech before darting away, chittering unhappily.

Hordak shook his head and returned to his work, but Imp’s unhappy chatter seemed to linger. He continued his work—he was not going to put his progress on hold over something so foolish and sentimental—but at the end of the day, he ordered Imp to give him a moment alone. When he was gone, Hordak brought up the files he’d kept on Imp’s development, decanting, and conditioning.

Sitting back, he folded his hands under his chin and considered the computer screen. Imp was, technically, a failed experiment. He was flawed—severely so. He would never speak in his own voice; had Hordak not installed his recorder, he’d never speak at all. He would never reach puberty or grow past his present size, would never be a capable warrior. His brain would never fully mature.

(Big Brother would not have permitted him to develop further, after discovering the flaws in his genetic code.)

Hordak had always felt vaguely guilty about Imp. He’d intended, at the time of his decanting, to dissect him as he’d done with all his previous failures. He had been especially intent on dissecting this clone because he was the closest he’d managed to come to success—none of the others had developed as well as this one, despite his flaws.

He had been surprised when the clone took his first breath. None of the others had been compatible with life—their genetic defects were too severe for them to survive past their decanting. Imp was the first. The only.

Hordak should have severed his brainstem at that moment. It’s what Big Brother would have ordered. It’s what any true Horde scientist would have done. Imperfections were not permitted in the Horde, and Imp was as imperfect as they came.

Yet the clone had cooed softly, followed by a chirp. Unable to help himself Hordak had chirped back, his ears twitching, then dismissed it as instinct and nothing more. The clone reached out a grasping hand, the fingers so small. His wings fluttered and he turned his head this way and that, blearily regarding the world with open curiosity. He chirped again, and with a stab of guilt, Hordak knew he would not cut the child’s brainstem as he should.

(When Big Brother came— He shut the thought down, unwilling to confront it.)

He’d designed a custom conditioning program for him after that. Some of his force captains began calling the clone Imp, after an Etherian myth, and despite his attempts to curb it, the name had stuck. It hardly seemed worth fighting; what harm was there in a name?

(Big Brother would not approve.)

Studying his notes, he saw nothing worth celebrating here. If anything, he should be ashamed of his sentimentality. It was, surely, a sign of his own defects and imperfections that he had allowed the flawed clone to live, had allowed him to be named. (Big Brother had surely known he was so deficient. He could see into the hearts and minds of the Horde; he would have known that Hordak’s defects ran deeper than mere muscle and bone.)

Nevertheless, he took note of the date of Imp’s decanting. He made no plans, didn’t allow himself to fully consider what he was doing or why.

(When Big Brother returned, he could know nothing of this, couldn’t be allowed to see it in Hordak’s thoughts. The things he could not hide were damning enough.)

Then he shut down the computer and went to remove his armor, carefully thinking of nothing in particular.

-

It was nothing so sentimental as a birthday present. That was a foolish, Etherian tradition, and he would take no part in it. It was merely an annual gift—an acknowledgment of Imp’s service. So it happened to fall on the same day he’d been decanted? What of it? The date was meaningless—he only gave it meaning by choosing to reward Imp for his work on that specific day.

He was not, would never, celebrate something as meaningless as the day of decanting of a flawed clone of a flawed clone!

So when Imp, on receiving the extra ration bar and the apple on that completely meaningless day, had asked, “[Birthday?]” Hordak reiterated—

“Don’t be absurd. You were not born. You do not have a birthday.”

Imp nuzzled his hand anyway, before screeching in victory as he flew away with his prizes. Hordak merely shook his head and returned to his work, pretending not to notice the slight smile on his own face or the subtle warmth in his chest.

He upheld that tradition for years, never acknowledging that the gifts were anything other than a reward for good work. Then everything changed.

Big Bro—Horde Prime was gone. He and Imp were free of him.

Forever.

Some days that was...overwhelming. Some days it left him feeling lost. Before, he’d been imbued with purpose—misguided, perhaps, but purpose nonetheless—but now, sometimes it felt like he had nothing. Usually, on those days, Entrapta would wrap him in her hair and whisper soft words—good words, kind words, words he didn’t deserve but needed so desperately—until he could catch his breath and he remembered that he had a new, better purpose now. It was not as simple—strange that making a life with Entrapta and their unconventional family was somehow more complicated than galactic conquest—but it was infinitely more rewarding.

Which left him considering his current predicament.

Imp’s decanting day was tomorrow. Ration bars and fresh fruit had been reward enough in war time, but that would hardly be a treat now. Furthermore, this was the first time that Imp could have a proper birthday. No longer under the shadow of his ‘brother’s’ disapproval, Hordak was free to acknowledge their silly, sentimental tradition without shame or fear of reprisal. The problem was, he had no idea how to do that.

So he did what he always did when he had a troubling question:

“Entrapta?”

She peered at him from under the large mech she was repairing. “Yeah?”

“What do Etherians usually do to celebrate their birthdays?”

She cocked her head, thinking. “Well. They usually give presents and eat cake—or another dessert if the birthday-person doesn’t like cake.”

He nodded. Imp liked cake well enough. “What kind of presents?”

“Whatever the birthday-person likes, I guess?”

His ears flexed. Imp seemed to enjoy wrestling with stuffed animals until they were nearly falling apart. A stuffed animal, perhaps? “Thank you,” he said, leaving her to her mech.

She darted after him, leaning out of the doorway, supported by her hair. “Um? Hordak? You know my birthday is months away, right?”

His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. “I...did not. You will tell me the date as it gets closer?”

“Oh, of course!”

He thanked her again and walked toward the kitchens, cheeks still hot. He hadn’t even thought about Entrapta! Of course she had a birthday! Thankfully, it seemed he had some time to consider that more carefully. Finding an appropriate present for Entrapta would be a good deal harder than finding one for Imp.

He spoke to both the baker and seneschal about acquiring a cake and a stuffed animal, though they had seemed unnerved by his request. He wasn’t fully sure why—perhaps he was doing something wrong? He knew that commanding an army was different from managing a kingdom, but he‘d gotten better at keeping his temper in check. Perhaps he’d speak to Entrapta about that as well....

The next morning, after approving both cake and stuffed animal, he dismissed the baker and seneschal and waited. Imp knew what day it was, and he would find his maker when he woke up and there weren’t any extra rations or pieces of fruit beside his bed.

He did not expect Entrapta to find him first. She came in through one of her hidden doors, welding mask down as she studied the cake and the toy. He didn’t say anything, just allowed her to examine everything. One rope of hair scratched the top of her head, then she shrugged and lifted the mask. “Okay, I give up. What are you doing?”

He crossed his arms. “It’s not obvious?” His ears flexed.

“Well,” she drew out the word, as if rolling it around in her mouth, “given your questions yesterday, I have to assume this is supposed to be a birthday cake and a birthday present.”

He nodded firmly. “Yes.” He paused, considering her word choice. “Am I doing this correctly?”

“Mostly? I mean, kind of—the cake usually has a message on it, like, ‘Happy Birthday!’” She raised her hands to either side of her head as she said it, as if emphasizing the words. “And there’s decorations in frosting—“

He frowned. “This is not enough frosting?” It seemed like more than enough to him.

“That’s not really the point? It’s just supposed to be more colorful. Exciting—fun!” She widened her stance and threw her arms open, as if mimicking an explosion. Which, considering the things Entrapta considered to be ‘fun’, was as likely as anything else. She retracted her limbs all at once. “Oh, and the present is supposed to be wrapped.”

He blinked. “In what?”

“Paper!” He cocked his head, staring down at the stuffed toy and trying to figure out how that could possibly improve it. “By the way, who’s this for, anyw—?”

Imp’s irritated screeching interrupted her reply. He came barreling out of one of the vents, hair raised in a crest and ears flat. He flew immediately to Hordak, then kicked his shin in fury, still screeching. Hordak looked down at him, cocking his head in question. Grumpy, Imp crossed his arms and sat heavily on the floor, turning his back. “Is something the matter?”

With a glare, Imp looked at him over his shoulder and played a short recording. “[Forgot]”! He punctuated that with an angry huff, though the way he started playing with his tail made it clear he wasn’t merely angry—he was disappointed as well.

Trying not to smirk, Hordak set first the cake and then the toy in front of him. “I forgot nothing.” He hesitated for just a moment, then ruffled Imp’s hair, jostling it out of the angry crest. “Happy Birthday, Imp.”

Imp stared at him, eyes wide. Then he opened his mouth and played an old recording. “[You do not have a birthday. You were not born.]”

Hordak shrugged. “Happy decanting day, then.”

Imp stood all at once and tackled him, hugging his leg so tight he could feel it through his armor. Not entirely sure what to do about this development, he looked to Entrapta for help, but she was only staring at him, wide-eyed. “Aw, Hordak....” There were tears in her eyes, and for a moment he was worried he’d done something very wrong, but then her hair coiled around them both and she pressed her hand to his chest, smiling broadly. “You should have told me what you were doing! We could have had a party to celebrate!”

His features softened, a subtle smile playing at his mouth. Warmth spread through his chest, and he laid his hand atop hers. It was a good moment. But he had to ask—

“What’s a party?”

[chasingshhadows]

on michael & maria

Yup, Imma talk about it.

I’m unfortunately well aware of the ~discourse~ on this particular topic, but I have Opinions and Feelings so I’m gonna share them. In this post, I’m gonna follow their relationship from the beginning of the show through episode 1.11 (Champagne Supernova). (The events of 1.13 are a topic that I’ll be addressing separately and a bit more in-depth.)

I am in what appears to be a minority of Malex Roswell fans that thinks the show did a really great job of setting up and seeing through the relationship with Michael and Maria, both in the ways it became physical and the ways it became emotional.

Before I begin, I want to emphasize something about this relationship that seems to bother a lot of people or maybe just go unnoticed: Much of the development between these two, while absolutely present, is not overt and oft times isn’t even on-screen. I get why and how this bothers people because it’s understandable to want to see character development on-screen and not have to infer it from context or subtext, or have to rely on people like me to do the work of going through the season and finding it. Plus, that means it likely falls through the cracks for most casual viewers who don’t take the time to process and analyze the meanings behind what they’re seeing. I get that, and understand that it’s frustrating.

That said, I’m here to play with everything the show has given us, and that includes the subtleties of the Michael & Maria dynamic. I’m a master extrapolator ok.

And just a ~warning~ to the shippers reading this: This post is about Michael & Maria and their relationship and how it builds and grows. This is not an extended diss post on Maria or Miluca, so if that’s what you’re looking for, this post is not for you. That said, I would be remiss in not acknowledging to any Miluca fans reading this that I am a hardcore Malex shipper and can’t guarantee that my bias in that way doesn’t leak through. Just - you’ve been warned.

Also to clarify - when I use the word “relationship,” I do not mean Relationship like, couple. I mean, any two people that interact with each other have a relationship with each other.

TL;DR: Michael and Maria were and are far closer as friends than most people seem to believe before they became involved. The journey of them hooking up, catching feelings, and coming together is marked by progressively stronger signs of affection and attraction. The development is there, if you care to look for it.

And now that my thesis is clear, let me show my work.

Anyway. Let’s start at the beginning.

We learn right as Michael is introduced that he spends a lot of time at the Wild Pony, and that getting arrested for getting drunk and getting into fights there is a common occurrence for him. As Maria runs this bar, this means the two of them spend a lot of time together, likely at odds considering she’s probably the one calling the cops.

The first interaction they have as characters isn’t an interaction at all, and seems to contradict the last assumption, at least in one way. Because Maria sees Alex looking at Guerin and the first thing she says about it?

She acknowledges he’s “rifraff” but then immediately says she thinks he’s hot. And then at Alex’s dubious look, she tries to justify. Which means that’s something she’s noticed, and the “sex in a truck” is something she’s thought about. And she and Alex have an easy enough relationship even after a decade spent mostly apart that she feels comfortable bringing that up. She’s gossiping about cute boys with her long lost best friend and Guerin is the cute boy on her mind right now.

This, my friends, is what we in the biz like to call foreshadowing.

Now, something that is entirely not stated but is at least tangentially hinted at: Michael is a punchy drunk that intentionally picks fights at the Wild Pony. Now, who do we know who appears to also spend a lot of time at the Wild Pony and are also walking “Hit Me” signs? That’s right, Racist Wyatt & Racist Hank. I’m not saying it happens every night or even every week, but I have to imagine at least a few times over the years, Michael decided to take out his dramatic cowboy angst on the two racist assholes spouting off in the corner. And regardless of her distaste for the violence and her annoyance at needing to call the cops again, I have to imagine that Maria at least noticed that Michael is throwing punches for the right reasons sometimes. (and again, none of this is explicitly stated, but all of the pieces are laid out and it doesn’t take a casual viewer to put them together).

We first see them actually interact at the bar during the blackout and it is hella flirtatious; they’re both smirking, leaning forward, teasing. It’s playful.

More than that though, it speaks to a deeply ingrained familiarity, friendliness, and banter. Michael swipes a bottle from behind the bar - an expensive bottle, apparently - as if that’s just a normal thing for him to do. And Maria doesn’t even try to stop him - sure, she Hey!’s him, but her only objection is, “that’s a health code violation” as she goes about cleaning up the bar and collecting glasses.

Again, I know this is subtle, but it says so much about their relationship before this moment. That Maria lets him grab the bottle. That he hears that he’s caught and just…. continues opening the bottle while making a teasing comment about her power-outage decorations. That she just watches as he takes a drink straight from the bottle. The soft, teasing “Didn’t I ban you for life?”

This isn’t behavior she would allow from just any customer and especially not one who we’re led to believe is a Problem Customer. And their conversation about his tab and such indicates they aren’t like, best friends or anything, but they’re on familiar enough territory that they can joke and tease and steal liquor like it’s habit, like it’s just how they are.

And remember - they both grew up in this town. They’ve probably known each since they were 11 (when Michael was sent back to Roswell) but definitely knew each other in high school. I doubt they ever hung out or even really interacted all that much but they have that awkward “I know too much about you because we’ve been sharing space for 15 years” thing going on.

And now Maria has watched him make a valiant attempt to drink himself to death for half a dozen years and bury his sorrows in anyone that’ll have him. She’s smart, she’s learned her lesson with Chad, she doesn’t just want to be another notch in Guerin’s bedpost.

But, he’s cute and he’s safe, so she flirts.

I mean look at this:

Like fuck, she’s practically purring.

Michael is clearly on board with that mood. This is sexy, this is him fully ready to hear exactly what he can do for Maria, this is his mind in the gutter.

He makes a joke - in a super sultry voice, mind you - about being her least favorite customer, to which she laughs while passing him glasses for the tequila (yes, it’s mezcal, I know) he stole.

This is all very friendly, y’all. And that doesn’t mean they’re the braid-each-other’s-hair, tell-me-all-your-deepest-secrets type of friends, but they are friends. Not best friends, but casual friends. Almost a coworkerly-type of teasing affection. They’re two people wholly comfortable with the other, they’re fond of each other. They tease each other but there’s never any bite - it’s playful and fun and easy. They sit on opposite sides of that bar at least several times a week and yeah, Maria has to call the cops when shit gets rowdy, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate Guerin’s personality and presence, or that he doesn’t enjoy the teasing banter with the hottie behind the bar that he knows he has no chance with.

From there, Isobel steals the floor, and Maria is annoyed and not taking shit. She makes a crack about Michael’s drinking, and Isobel makes her move.

And then Maria sees something I’m sure she’s seen before when he’s with Isobel but is still at odds with the Guerin in her mind - she sees Michael being soft, tender, and concerned.

And this prompts Maria, for what I believe is the only time in the first season, to call him Michael.

Jump to the day when both Isobel and Mimi go into institutions. Maria has reached her limit. She’s strung out, she’s had to fall back on her last resort because nothing else has worked and she’s feeling like a failure; she’s feeling lost because her mom has been her rock her entire life. And Michael is actually in a similar place. He’s been trying to protect Isobel, his own rock, from herself for so long, he’s let that destroy himself, his hope, his future, and now she’s put herself in the hands of people he vehemently distrusts because he failed.

So, they’re both here to drown their sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. And again, let’s talk about the fact that Michael gets an entirely different treatment than any other customer that might walk through that door. Because what she sees in that mirror? It’s a kindred spirit. It’s a broken man who’s been crumbling on a stool in her bar for years and who looks just like she feels: like he’s just a step away from shattering.

And this is also Michael Guerin, with whom she shares an easy camaraderie, who she knows can be soft. So, she lets him stay.

One drink. No talking.

She passes him the bottle and he sighs in relief because Maria is giving him exactly what he needs right now. To not be alone with his thoughts. To lose himself a little bit in a haze, to let the alcohol blur the self-hatred swirling in his mind.

And Maria, Maria doesn’t wanna crack. She doesn’t want to fall apart, because she can’t, because it’s her job to hold it together - for her mom, for her friends, for this town. She’s supposed to be the fun, happy friend, the bartender, the good time.

She’s not allowed to break.

But she knows if she opens her mouth, she will. So when Guerin starts to thank her, she shuts him right down.

Notice that she calls him Guer? Not Guerin. Not even Michael. But Guer. That’s soft, that’s familiar. That’s a nickname, and it rolls off her tongue like that’s normal. Like she’s used it before.

It’s these things, y’all, the little things that truly show us the depth of this relationship. I’ve seen said more times than I can count that Michael and Maria’s connection, their friendship, him “knowing her”, her feelings - that they all came out of nowhere. That these two went 10 years without liking each other or being attracted to each other and ~one day~ it all just changed. And that’s just not true. This thing between them, it’s been there, simmering, slowly building. The signs are there if you know what you’re looking for, if you know what it looks like before two people that know each other fall into bed, before they catch feelings.

And y’all, these two? Are a veritable construction zone of signs.

What happens next is pivotal to this relationship. Because Maria was right, opening her mouth was a catalyst and she starts to crack, and then loses it completely.

And this, this is new for Michael. Maria never cracks, never cries. She’s a firecracker and a half, fierce and strong, she commands the room, and never shows weakness. It takes him a moment to catch up to what he’s seeing and then-

This is so soft. He lets out a comforting “hey” as he wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close, holds her tight. Tries to give her the stability she’s clearly lacking, lets her lean on him for support.

He’s there for her. He doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t try to tell her it’s ok. Doesn’t cross any boundaries. He’s just there, just present, and lets her take what she needs from him in that moment.

This, again, proves the depth of their bond. Their friendship. Maria wouldn’t let any deadbeat from the bar touch her like that, especially not in a moment of weakness. And Michael wouldn’t offer unconditional comfort to anyone either - he’s not cruel by any means, but few people rank high enough to deserve his kindness. But here, Maria not only lets Michael hold her, she leans in, grabs at his jacket, settles in close.

She trusts him, and he cares for her.

And you can see even as he holds her, he’s still confused. He’s still not entirely sure what’s happening, but he pulls her closer anyway. Because she needs it.

This a turning point in their relationship. This is the moment they go from banter friends to comfort friends. The moment their friendship deepens from something fun to something warm. Something real.

A few weeks later, they’ve both come off their respective cliffs. Maria has come to him for help. And as we learn at the end of the episode, there’s an emotional attachment to her request. This sign is special, this sign specifically is important to her - and she’s trusting Guerin to fix it.

Now we know that “no once can fix a car as fast as” Michael, and that Isobel, at least, has a habit of calling him to fix things for her, but what this tells us is that Michael also likely has a reputation around town as a fixer, as a handy man. Enough, at least, for Maria to know Michael can fix this. And between his reputation and her experiences with him, she knows him to be dependable and reliable enough to do this for her.

They’ve fallen back into their banter because it’s easy and it’s not heavy. Because they’re still Maria and Guerin even after a moment of tenderness. Because this is natural to them.

Now, Michael says something that apparently confuses people. Because Max says, “Dude, tell me you’re not sleeping with Maria,” and Michael immediately shoots back with, “Never!” And to some, I suppose, this feels incongruous with his behavior in the next episode. And all I really have to say to that is if I truly “never” slept with any of the people I’ve said I would “never” sleep with, my List would be like…. half as long.

Anyway, Michael brings the sign to the bar later that same day. Which is significant because - remember what else is going on that day. Isobel nearly died. He’s been running all over town with Liz and worrying about losing his sister - the single most important person in his life - and still, he made time to fix Maria’s sign.

He and Max left the junkyard right after Maria dropped it off, and we saw him at the hospital, then chasing down Liz, then taking Liz to his bunker, then to the cave, then he ran back to get Isobel from the hospital.

Which means after Isobel went into the pod, Michael went back to the junkyard to fix Maria’s sign. Just as much because she needed it as because he needed it. He needed to do it, needed to not fail someone he cared about that day. Needed to have something to show to himself that he could fix things, to prove to himself he could fix Isobel.

And when he drops it off, Maria notes how fast it was, having no idea just how fast because she doesn’t know everything that happened that day. He reiterates that he could have made her a new sign, but what he means is that he wants her to know that he would have, for her. Max once said that Michael has never done anything for anyone, while we all know that that line was a flaming pile of bullshit, it’s true that Michael isn’t someone to offer his help to just anyone; he’s picky about the people deserving of his effort and he’s letting Maria know she’s one of them.

And she softens. She opens up. Explains the real reason she needs this sign. Let’s Michael see a glimpse of something she hid from her own best friend.

It gets heavy for a moment, which is a territory they’re still figuring out how to navigate. Maria “hmms” at Michael’s “beacon” comment and he aptly puts together that that’s all she wants to say on the matter. He redirects them into more familiar territory with a teasing joke to break the tension and Maria follows him there with a, “Jerk” and a poorly disguised smirk.

It’s comfortable. Easy.

Six weeks pass before we see them together again, though it’s certainly not the first time they’ve interacted, judging by the fact that Michael has racked up another bar tab.

Maria greets him coolly - whether that’s because of her mood re: her mother, or because Alex is there and Alex has already expressed discomfort at being around Guerin (see: human trio reunion scene) is unclear, but she does greet him. Even if she’s a bit prickly, he still warrants her attention just by walking in the door.

And this may be some of my own projection, but it also speaks a little to me of Maria starting to catch on - subconsciously, at least - that she might have feelings for Michael. After my own experiences with the Chads of the world, I tend to react defensively around people I start to fall for, including being actively cool around them. It’s not pulling pigtails, not quite, but more I’m-terrified-of-you-finding-out-I-have-feelings-and-rejecting-me-so-I’ll-be-extra-unfriendly-so-you-think-I-don’t-like-you.

Michael is flirting - stung, from Alex’s rejection, and trying to get lost in a distraction - but Maria lets it slide right off her.

When we see them again in Texas, it’s awkward, but not because of them. Max and Liz are seeing each other for what appears to be the first time since her declaration that they are not meant to be, after having promised to save the life of the woman who killed her sister because she can’t stand to see Max hurt. So. It’s awkward.

Michael recognizes this immediately - having spent significant time with Liz who I’m sure pointedly refused to talk about Max, and at least some time around Max even before the 4+ hour drive in which he was fully back on his broody bullshit - so he tries to cut the tension by teasing flirtily with Maria. Because that’s a thing he can do. Something that’s natural and fun for them.

Maria teases right back, likely having seen at least some of Liz’s side of this, and makes her subtle exit, knowing full well Michael would join her and leave the two lovebirds to their awkward hello.

Note that when Michael goes into the tent to have his hand healed, he goes in with Maria. Not Max, whose idea it was. But his friend, Maria. Which means they spent the long wait in that line together. She clearly needs proof - or disproof - of Arizona’s powers as much as Max, but we all know what Michael’s hand means to him, and that he was willing to have Maria there while discussing it, potentially having it healed says, again, so much about their friendship.

Arizona talks about Michael reopening the wound in his mind and he looks to Maria for reassurance. And Maria gives that to him, freely and warmly. Organically. And you can see how much that little act helps him, that he’s able to continue forward knowing she’s there.

And when Arizona essentially blows them off, Maria - who is here, remember, to find a way to heal her own ailing mother - offers Michael the comforting shoulder rub, the defensive “Come on [let’s get out of here]”.

When Maria is upset, following Arizona’s reveal as a fraud, it’s Michael, not Liz, her best friend, that follows her. For all that Michael wanted to go in guns blazing and confront her before, he’s ready to walk away when he sees that Maria is upset.

And no, Michael is not the arbiter of friendship, but he’s pretty sure it has something to do with supporting someone when they’re upset. He doesn’t know, as Liz does, that Maria does not need that, so this is his way of trying. Maria is important enough for Michael to try.

And thus gets us to my favorite scene of the Michael/Maria saga.

She says with a teasing smile on her face. She says with a fond glance at Guerin.

And his wink says he knows and he’s playing along.

When she gets up, Michael is concerned. Asking Liz if she’s going to follow her. “Don’t you think she needs a girlfriend or whatever?” Because Michael wants to make sure Maria is being taken care of.

And then.

And then.

I just. Cannot get over. This look. This is awe, this is wonder, this is heat. This is Michael for the first time seeing Maria, seeing just how strong and fierce and powerful and beautiful she really is. This is The Moment that Michael stops thinking of Maria as a fun, flirty friend, and starts seeing her as something more. As someone he might be able to really fall for. As someone who maybe, just might, be able to fill the void left behind by Alex.

And so he just stares. He cannot take his eyes off from her y’all. The whole rest of this scene is Michael just fixated on the marvel that is Maria DeLuca. He’s watching her the entire time Liz asks Max to dance. Watching her sing upon that stage. Hell, Liz has to grab his face to get him to look away and still his eyes find her again.

And Maria, for all her teasing and banter, is the one to make the first move. She extends her hand to Michael, beckons him forward and:

Imma just let that speak for itself.

She doesn’t just do it once those, she reaches for him again, just gently touching him, making contact. And it’s not just comforting contact like Michael did when she cried, or when Maria touched him in the tent. It’s not even really friendly.

No, it’s decidedly sensual. Sexy. She’s touching him in ways that are meant to illicit a reaction.

And it’s a reaction she gets, when Michael follows her from the bar.

Look at that smile. She’s teasing him, but you can see she’s happy that he’s chosen to be there, out there, with her. This is the face of a woman who’s just drunk and high enough to forget her reasons to stay away, and is just letting herself be giddy that the person she likes is here with her. She’s not thinking about her worry of being another one of Michael’s one night stands, not thinking about not letting herself get attached for fear of being hurt (spoiler alert: she was already attached).

That’s the thing, with humans. We’re really really good at lying to ourselves when we’re afraid. We’re experts at denying the existence of something that scares us, and convincing ourselves that we’re safe. Maria has convinced herself she feels nothing for Michael because admitting those feelings, even to herself, when she feels certain he doesn’t feel the same way, would be devastating. So she refuses to acknowledge it, pretends it’s not even there.

And that’s why we see such a drastic change in her behavior from night to morning. Why she was all smiles and wiles and flirtation when she was drunk, high, and looking for a distraction, but was cold and in full denial mode when she was sober and facing down the reality of the door she’d opened. Her subconscious is trying to preemptively protect her from the pain and she’s projecting her anger at herself onto Michael.

Exacerbated, I’m sure, by the fact that by the time they actually kissed, and slept together, neither of them were that drunk. We see them wander off together with a joint before Max and Liz leave the bar, and we don’t see them together again until after Liz and Max have found a hotel, gotten into bed, each tossed and turned long enough to get back out of bed, get dressed, head out to the park and talk, and then go back to bed. So I’d say it’s been at least a couple hours since their last drinks that things heat up.

So Maria doesn’t even have the excuse for herself that she was wasted because she wasn’t. Neither of them were. She let herself give into her feelings and attraction in a moment of weakness and the only one she’ll have to blame when it bites her in the ass is herself.

Even if Maria is refusing to allow herself to believe she has feelings, there is still a gut feeling that what she did was a mistake, was going to get her hurt. The mind can be interesting in that way, warning you of danger without allowing you to see what that danger is.

Michael is in a different place here. He’s upset, but in an entirely different and far more silent way than Maria. Alex broke his heart, again, just yesterday. He had to watch Alex walk away from him and for the first time, it truly felt final. Alex said it was over, full stop. I don’t think Michael had ever before thought about moving on from Alex, not really. He was always just waiting.

“Where I stand, nothing’s changed.”

But now Alex walked away and it looks like this time, he really isn’t coming back. And for the first time Mchael has to consider what his life might look like without Alex in it, and suddenly here Maria is, being the actual walking definition of charm and grace. She’s someone he knows, whom he knows to be good. She’s gorgeous and kind and beautiful and fierce. And he’s seeing for the first time just how strong she is, how courageous.

He’s mesmerized.

And he’s paying attention. To all of Maria’s little touches and smiles. To the way she seems to want exactly what he wants. Which is why he’s so unaffected by her protests and denials the next morning. Because this is Maria, his friend. He teases and pokes fun because they’re friends and he can. And because, as everyone in Roswell knows, Michael is an expert at navigating the awkward morning after, so he eases her panic about people finding out, and then teases some more.

Michael’s in a great mood. The sun is shining, there’s a gorgeous woman lying next to him, and maybe for the first time that he can remember, he’s not thinking about Alex. Or Isobel. Or anything that hurts.

That doesn’t last though. Alex shows up, reignites every emotion Michael has ever felt for him, and leaves Michael more certain than ever that he’ll never get to have Alex the way he wants him. (I have another meta on this coming, I promise). And so he’s hurt and alone again.

And he has Maria’s necklace.

So he decides to give it his best shot. He brings her the necklace, laying on a casual desire. Keeping it cool while still making clear what he wants.

And I’ve already talked about what happened with Maria and Alex between the ride home and Michael showing up, but the important take-aways here are:

Maria did not truly accept her feelings for Michael until she heard herself lie about them to Alex

Maria does not know Alex and Michael’s history beyond “they kissed once as teenagers” and “Alex still loves him”

Maria never wants to see that look of pain on Alex’s face again

And Alex knowing about them sleeping together also tells Maria that Michael, within hours of promising not to do so, told him. So she’s understandably pissy about that.

She cuts right to the chase when Michael starts to flirt.

And Michael’s face is… wounded.

Because he came to Maria to forget about Alex. He came to Maria because he likes her, and because he wanted to see if that spark he felt could light a fire, could turn into something real. He’s exploring, for the first time, the potential of really falling for someone who isn’t Alex.

And that’s what it is, at this point: potential.

But Maria says no, so he does with Maria the exact same thing he did when rejected by Alex - he deflects. Pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “Why do you keep saying it can’t happen again, I got it the first time. That’s not why I’m here at all!” (narrator voice: it was, in fact, exactly why he was there).

And both of their faces when Michael walks away tell us this isn’t want they want.

This scene is a little bit devastating. Seeing Maria refuse herself something she wants. Seeing Michael once again turned away due to something outside his control.

But he takes the hint and leaves. He’d made an attempt and was shut down, and he wasn’t going to push it.

It appears they don’t see each other again until the morning of the Gala, when Maria straight up pretends she doesn’t see him.

And Michael calls her on it, because it’s bullshit and he knows it. They were friends before they slept together and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let that get in the way of what appears to be his only human connection aside from Alex.

Maybe it’s me, but this line was delivered with exactly the right amounts of relief and disappointment. Relief that she won’t have to endure seeing Michael in a tux. Disappointment that she won’t get to see Michael in a tux. It’s a Mood.

Michael makes a joke because that’s what they do. Maria said no, but he wants to ease them back into their friendly camaraderie. He doesn’t want to lose his friendship with Maria.

But Maria can’t do what she and Michael do. Because what she and Michael do is why she fell for him. So she can’t let them go back to being banter friends across the bar, not yet anyway. She needs time and she needs space so she can get over him.

Not to mention: Maria doesn’t know. Period. Maria doesn’t know Michael’s feelings for her might be genuine. Maria doesn’t know that Alex and Michael’s history is fraught and traumatic and painful. Maria doesn’t know that Michael and Alex were seeing each other over the summer. Maria doesn’t know that their history doesn’t start and end with that kiss in the museum. She doesn’t know that Michael still has feelings for Alex. And while Maria knows Alex is in love with Michael, she doesn’t know he’s made any effort to show that to Michael.

And she doesn’t want to hurt Alex. He’s always been there for her and she wants to protect him. To protect herself.

So she makes a jab about the museum - it was intentional insofar as she meant to drive the wedge of Alex further between them, but again, she does not know what else happened after Michael kissed Alex at the museum. She isn’t trying to hurt Michael here, she’s trying to build a wall.

When Michael says “It’s over. It’s been over,” she has no reason not to believe him.

And Michael isn’t saying that because he’s trying to come on to her again. He’s saying that because he can see that Maria feels guilty and he’s trying to assuage that. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

The look Maria gives Michael here. The glance to his lips. She is gone on this man already. She wants him. She wants to believe him. She wants to be allowed to give in to him.

But she’s not. So she throws up more spikes and walks away.

This moment makes a whole lot more sense if you remember that, as far as we know, Michael has only ever given even a single shit about two humans in his entire life: Alex and Maria. We know what Alex is and was to him, the narrative makes it absolutely clear that Michael has been in love with Alex for a decade and has essentially been idling, just like Max, for Alex to come back. He sees their love as cosmic.

And we know what Maria is to him. She’s his friend. Someone who gets him, at least the little stuff. The light stuff. His sense of humor, his penchant for drowning his sorrows in substances, his compassion and his dependability.

Someone threatening that friendship? The one and only truly painless thing he’s ever found on this forsaken planet? Not a smart person.

Michael and Max make it to the Gala and that protective streak flares again. Because he was right. And Maria is innocent and now she’s vulnerable, and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let anything happen to her.

This is him continuing to not push boundaries, even when she can’t hear him. She said they can’t continue whatever it was they started, but they were friends before that and he wants to go back to that. Go back to fun.

Not to mention that he is visibly worried in a way we have only seen him express before for Isobel and Alex.

He sits there, holding her, letting his presence be known as a comfort, stroking her hair.

So that when she wakes, she knows immediately that she is not alone. That she is safe and being looked after.

And at the first sign that she may not want him there? He immediately offers to leave, and not only leave, but find someone else she trusts to look after her so that she still won’t be alone.

“You gotta stop showing up for me like this, Guerin.” is what she says, but what she means is “you have to stop reminding me why I fell for you. Stop making it so hard for me to get over you just by being you.”

(And also just a reminder here that Maria is still under the influence of an inhibition-lowering drug. That means it makes her do and say things she would not normally allow herself to do/say. She’d never have admitted these feelings to Michael had she been sober, or under the influence of an intoxicant she’s used to, but this is not that. This is literally a date-rape drug and anyone who has anything shitty to say about Maria in this scene can Fite Me.)

And when Maria says that she never wants him to leave?

Riley put it best: “That is not the face of a man whose feelings have just been reciprocated. That is the face of a man whose life just got very complicated.”

His lips barely twitch towards a smile but he can’t even hold it. He knows he’s supposed to be happy, but he can’t feel it. He wanted to believe that he could want this, that his feelings for Maria could drown out the way he feels about Alex, but like with Maria not realizing her feelings until she heard herself lie, I don’t believe Michael truly recognized his lack of feelings until he heard Maria admit the depth of hers.

I think Michael absolutely, 100%, no doubt cares deeply for Maria. I believe he is unquestionably attracted to her. I think she makes him happy and feel light because she’s not bogged down in the trauma that marks his life, and because she, by her own admission, actively tries to be the Fun Friend.

And I think Michael wants to have feelings for Maria. Because he believes he can’t have Alex and continuing to dwell on that will only continue to hurt him. He wants to move on, and Maria is literally walking perfection. There is no reason Michael shouldn’t absolutely return every bit of her feelings and then some.

But he doesn’t. He can’t. His heart belongs to another.

Now we don’t see the end of the night for Michael and Maria, but we do know that he takes her home. How do we know this? Because there’s no way a man who emphatically threatened to explode anyone who came near her while she was drugged would let her go home alone. Not a chance in hell. I doubt they talked at all, but he made sure she made it home safely.

And that, as far as we know, is the last time that they see each other before the finale, before Michael shows up wrecked and broken and needing to feel something, anything, that doesn’t hurt.

I’ll be diving into his, Maria’s, and Alex’s headspaces, and then taking a look at the dynamic as a whole, but none of what happens in the finale makes any kind of sense if you don’t fully recognize everything that came before it. What lead to it. It was a perfect storm of emotion and heartbreak, and this is just one cloud.

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 57

“hmmmmm,uuhmmm” another oiled up strand of spaghetti was sucked between those luscious, plump lips, even watching her eat was bloody erotic, “I said it once and I'll say it again, I'll be happy to leave Italy before I burst out of my pants, I can literally eat pasta two times a day” she licked a bit of tomato sauce from her lips. Jared leaned back in his chair to cross his legs “two times a day and as a midnight snack” and checked his phone to distract him from all the suggestiveness.  “Puh, go on, rub it in when you eat more than I do, the only difference between us is that you're just blessed with an amazing metabolism! Besides, they say that Italian women are amongst the prettiest of the world” she huffed. “Definitely the ones in their twenties, but you know they also say that it all ends once they hit 30, then they're more likely to double in size” he casually looked up from his phone with a deadpan expression on his face. “hitting 30: tick! Italian: tick! Curves: tick! It looks like you'll need to start looking for a newer, younger and definitely thinner model” she put down her napkin and grabbed her bag before she gestured at the waiter to get the bill. “Huh? No I don't!” he put his phone down and reached for his wallet, but she was quicker and slipped her card to the waiter, “whatever, let's get out of here, I still want to go dancing” she whispered before she punched in her code and took back her card. “You know I don't want you paying for..” he started but was immediately cut off “the only one getting old here is you, Jared! It would be nice if you joined us in the 21st century where women pay for themselves” she gave the waiter a tip and got up. “Wait, I was kidding, it was a joke, you're perfect” he hurried to catch up with her at the door where she whistled to stop a cab, “I love you, Jared, but sometimes you can be the most insensitive man ever..” the cab stopped and she plodded through the nightly rain “are you coming? I'm ageing here” she quickly said and then got inside the car.

Strobes, heat, a dancefloor and a good stiff drink, right now it was all she could ask for as she handed her coat to the girl at the cloakroom who only seemed to have eye for Jared “sorry honey, but he's all mine” she grinned at her and grabbed his hand. That was the Harper he loved so much, quirky, loud and always ready to  set a room on fire “all yours even unofficially” he put his hands on her hips and pulled her against him as they swayed to the music. Putting her arms around him, she closed her eyes, they were so good at being alone in a crowded room, in the midst of all this noise and energy she felt like she was all alone with him, like nobody could penetrate this bubble. Opening her eyes, she told herself to savour the moment because she already saw the human predators move in on them determined to break up their happiness, and in 3-2-1.. “Jay, dude! What a show!” someone already yelled over the music. She quickly kissed his lips and twirled out of his arms and further over to the bar, need a drink first and then I can go and dancedancedance, hey bartender, damn you're cuteee “A Seabreeze please and make it a large one” she smiled her order and looked around the room while waiting. Jared had moved to the side of the dancefloor, most of the crew had moved with him, Sean included, good you stay exactly where you are you twat, strange how nobody seemed to make the effort to get to know her, or even tried to connect with her, she made the effort though.. No, don't think, now is not the time when today was too much of a struggle already, “Miss..your Seabreeze” the bartender put her drink on the counter, she quickly handed him some money and made her way to the dancefloor, sipping her drink, she was gonna need a lot of alcohol to have fun to this rubbish music, ah well at least it had a good beat.

She kept expecting him to show up behind her but he didn't, he was completely consumed by his seemingly hilarious conversations on the other side of the dancefloor, oh wait that girl standing way too close and looking really chummy with him, who the hell was that? A fan? Had to be because she didn't remember ever seeing her. In the corner of her eye she could see Sean walk up to her, oh no no nooo “Hey” he came just that little bit too close every time he said hello “Hey and bye, I'm going back to the hotel, I'm tired” she downed her umpteenth drink in one go, “wait..I want to apologize” his hand folding around her upper arm stopped her in her tracks. “I'm not interested, goodnight Sean” she pulled her arm free and stomped off the dancefloor, “Jay!” she had to tap his shoulder to get his attention and call his name a second time before he turned around, oyoyoy his eyes looked like they were marinated in alcohol as he stared at her. “I'm gonna get a cab and go back to the hotel” she sighed, “what? Why? I'm not done here yet” his speech was a little slurred, “ok, then stay, but I'm going back, don't drink too much ok?” she just wasn't used to seeing him in a state of intoxication. “Ok..kiss?” a quick peck on the lips and he turned around again, insensitive much? Leave it Coco, leave it, just go get some rest and tomorrow is a new, in his case hung over, day. She wasn't really sober either, she felt it as the cold hit her stepping out of the club, shivering she whistled at a cab, oh thank god, he stopped, nice! Twenty minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of the hotel, she handed the driver her card and hurried to get inside the warm lobby of the hotel, a wave of exhaustion mixed with just a little bit much to drink. Up in their room, his perfume still lingered there, oh stupid Jared..come home real quick, drunk or sober again, don't care, just hurry home, I miss you..she pulled her clothes off and put on a pair of his trackpants, that were way oversized and one of his Mars shirts, anything that smelled like him was fine, right now she needed to feel close to him. Ok what do I do now? Watch telly, yeah good idea, she plopped down on the huge kingsize bed and zapped her way through a couple of channels, pfffff, 5913 channels and nothing on..fine, she slipped off the bed again and picked up a couple of brushes, the perfect way to take out her frustration.

Oooh, everything's spinning, all night his head had been competely numb, here and there there were flashes pumping through his brain that showed unsettling images, he remembered popping a few pills, something he hadn't done in ages. “Where are you going?” Sean stopped him as he turned the wrong way coming out of the elevator “your room is that way”, didn't matter where he was going, he just wanted to lay down and sleep off this ugly hang-over. Harper heard a knock on the door, please let it be Jared, she put down her brush, what time was it? Really late as she checked the huge progress she had made on her painting, “hey Coco..I think this one belongs to you” Sean gave her a fat grin, pushing Jared towards her. He could barely stand on his feet so she quickly pushed herself under his arm and stumbled to the bed with him, “want some help?” Sean hopped after her, but she already let him fall on the bed, “what the hell happened?” Harper pushed the hair out of her face with a puff. “He just couldn't stop, he kept on going after everyone told him to slow down, he was absolutely determined to go on the biggest bender of his life, saying things like he had lived like a monk for too long and all bets were off” wow what? Wait? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Do I want to know?. “I feel obliged to tell you that he didn't stick to just drinking..” Sean hurried to tell her, “whatever Sean, I don't think I need to hear any more” she spun on her heels and pushed him in the direction of the door, if that stupid ass on the bed is out like a light, then I sure don't want to be in the same room with this predator that just didn't know when to stop harassing her. “If you need help, just call ok?” he tried to make her change her mind, “I won't need to, trust me, good night Sean” she started closing the door but he quickly added “there's so much you don't know, so much happened..” she pushed the door further shut, “I'll ask him in the morning, if you'll excuse me?” she finally was able to close the door and let her back connect with it. Ok, don't make assumptions, you know what Sean is trying to do, she pushed herself away from the door again and walked over to the bed with a huge sigh, right come on you big log, she pulled off his shoes and then pulled the covers over him, there goes my night full of passionate, mindblowing sex.

Awwww, ooohh fucking light..his head was exploding, a few flashes of last night started coursing through his brain, sooo much booze..Harper leaving early..he looked around the room, the bed, where was she? One part of the bed was definitely not slept in. A lot of noise like things tumbling to the ground, mumbled curses drifted out to him from the next room, he would get up if this earth shattering headache actually let him, but then he heard the door open behind him. “Hey” her soft voice greeted him, she had streaks of paint everywhere, and from her demeanour he could tell she didn't have much sleep either, “hey babe” he sat up with a painful groan, holding his head, “had fun?” she calmly wiped her hands on a cloth. “No” he groaned again, “oh” the tone of her voice was cool, too cool, ok she didn't believe him, but it was true, he felt like shit..oh god no, I didn't...no, no, no..that can't be true, a vicious memory of this wild night flashed before his eyes. She kept pottering around the room, rummaging through her bag, clearly waiting for him to say something but he didn't, how could he? This was too damaging to confess even in the strongest of relationships, fuck, fuck, fucccckkk. Disappointed she shrugged and left the room again, ok something really serious had happened, this hadn't been just a bender with the boys, oh no, brace Harper, brace, and prepare for the worst but for now leave him be, don't pry, he'll come and tell you in his own time, but it better be soon if he didn't want to have his head ripped off. “Ok, well, I'm going to get a shower and then I'm going for breakfast, feel free to join me in one or both activities” god, how grown up was that? Proud of myself, will he follow? Nope...doesn't seem like it, goddammit Leto, don't leave a girl hanging! And why was she so fired up all of a sudden, was it because of this whole PMS thing or was it the adrenalin of not knowing what, how, where, why? Stop overanalzying, Harper, maybe this isn't even worth it, maybe it's just an unbearable hang over. It wasn't without a certain sadness that she stepped out of her clothes and turned on the tap, waiting a minute before she stepped under the hot water that felt like a mild acupuncture on her tensed up shoulders. Ugh, shampoo in my eye, awww that stings, she was too busy washing the foam from her hair and her face to feel someone creeping up behind her, until hands squeezed the flesh of her hips “I love you and I need to be with you” he whispered in her ear before he bit the back of her neck. There was no time for her to even turn around, she was just pushed against the wet tiles of the showerwall, a low groan escaped her mouth as he pushed deep inside of her, holding still for a second, just enough time for her to catch her breath before he fucked her brains out like an animal. Hard and very rough, no talking, none of that romantic shit, just a super dominant alpha male that showed her who was boss, her legs started shaking, no no no, I so do not want to cum just yet, I want moremoremore, harder, hit that spot good, yessssssss, don't ever stop fucking me. Oohhhhh, he squashed her harder against the wall, was it even physically possible to go even harder than he already was, her hands looked for support but there was none, there was just his jagged hard breath against her hair and his merciless thrusts accompanied by the pinching and squeezing of the most sensitive parts of her body.

[theheartchoice]

 Providence 

dean/cas  |  teen  |  2k  |  canonverse s6  |  ao3 

for @profoundnet's bi-weekly Bot Stat challenge. prompt issued: July 9th 2019 

dedicated to @saltnhalo ~ crack-free! 😘

Dean is cleaning his gun. Cas is the pizzaman. Sam is on the demon blood again.

Dean doesn't miss the apple-pie life, not really. He's a Hunter and this is what they do, this is the life for him. Doesn't mean he can't do with some small comforts, now and then. Or some hope - even if it's just a clue to find a way to stop the stuff of nightmares from wreaking havoc on the world. Pizza helps, too.

So, she broke things off.

..Unclip the mag.. 

So what?

..Clear the chamber.. 

Not like Dean really expected it to last, right?

..This cloth probably needs to be thrown.. 

Guess it was nice while it lasted.

..Where's the pipe cleaner?.. 

Maybe it would've been nice to last a while longer.

..Need more oil.. 

Had a whole year, though. And it was a pretty good year, as Hunter standards go.

..Should grab some rock salt, too. Runnin' low.. 

Sure as hell wasn't perfect. Dean was no model boyfriend or parental figure. Not with all his baggage, his demons.

..Need to make a list. Probably need a bunch of stuff. Wonder if Soulless Sammy's hacked any more cards yet.. 

That life isn't the thing to miss, though. That's not the life for him. He misses them. Her smile, her strength, her warmth. Little Ben growing up so fast, Dean pained he'll miss the rest. But he's not that guy - Mr. Family Man. They deserve better.

..They can hit the store before they leave town. Baby needs fuel. Grab some Johnny to replace the backup. Get outta dodge before the rains come. Sam can find 'em a case once they hit the interstate. They need snacks for the road, too. With any luck they'll find some monster to gank by nightfall.. 

Dean's only halfway through with their arsenal when his stomach reminds him he's past due for supper. Dinner had been a bust; Soulless Sam needs a lesson in acceptable menu classics, asap. Forget beheading a vamp with a baseball bat he could've sworn wasn't on the pitch a moment earlier - Dean'll be lucky not to get salmonella poisoning from that so-called food!

The mini fridge is bare, the cooler barer - unless you count half a dozen syringes of Dead-Man's blood. Dean doesn't. But considering Sam's choice for dinner, maybe he does? Never again. Sam is off food-duty until further notice.

What Dean could really go for, right now, is some pizza. Extra Large and all to himself. There's gotta be takeout menus around here somewhere.

He's barely scuffed one boot over the worn carpet when there's a rap at the door. At midnight. Sam wouldn't knock. Soulless Sam even less likely. 

Grabbing one from the newly-cleaned stash, Dean silently draws up into the crook of wall between door and curtained window, gun cocked. Swift to pull it open and hard to throw himself against it, on the other side of that door is the last person Dean expected to see. "Cas?" Standing in a fuzzy halo of sickly yellow halogen, holding a goddamned miracle in his arms. "Is that pizza?"

"I thought you might be hungry."

"For me?" Cas nods. Dean yanks him - and the pizza - inside. "I'm starved, actually. That's some good timin'."

And so much for the brief trip into Bizarro World where a certain Angel actually respects personal space; Cas' hands are on Dean - shoulder and forehead as he tries to lean over the table, flipping the lid to inspect the toppings. Meatlovers and extra BBQ sauce. Awesome. But those hands are turning him away from pizza, now. "What's up with you?"

"You're not in any stage of starvation, Dean. You're in perfect health.. Aside from you-.. your wrist." He takes Dean's arm from bicep to sprain without hesitation. "What happened?"

It's kinda hard to shrug outta the grip of a guy who could literally throw you as far as the eye can see. "Vamp nest. But we got 'em, no biggy." No more deaths once they arrived in town, too, which was a nice change. "Can we eat? Sam bought, like, raw fish for dinner, man - I think it's still swimmin' around in there." Dean eyes the garbage where he tossed his takeout container, forcing back bile at the memory: one hasty bite before he'd realised his mistake. It had been.. slimy. 

One of Cas' hands slips from his bicep to palm over Dean's stomach. The other leaves his wrist, at least, so Dean seizes the moment and steals the nearest slice from the box; chase away a bad memory with something good. OH, yeah - screw clouds - this is heaven. 

"Nihon unagi." 

"Huh―?" Dean tries not to let the precious pizza tumble from his mouth. 

"Freshwater eel, and they're not swimming. Not consciously, anyway."

Dean's jaw stills. He stares at Cas. 

"Digestive enzymes."

Oh, of course. 

Cas' eyes refocus on Dean's pizza. No - his hand. His injury. "May I..?" 

Mid-chew, Dean figures it can't hurt. He switches his pizza from right to left and holds out the sprain he'd forgot he had. 

Cas' hand closes careful around it, a slip of warmed ice flowing quick through Dean's veins - and then his minor injury is minor no more.

"Thanks," Dean murmurs, and follows it with another mouthful of beef and pepperoni.

Cas leaves him to his second slice to survey the room. "Where is Sam?"

"Li'b'ary.." This is food. This is what every meal should taste like. All the meat, rich with smokey goodness. "R'se'rch."

"I thought you said the case was over?" Cas regains some proximity to the little round table where Dean stands with hips hugging the large pizza box. He takes a few moments to chew, swallow - rushing the savour-part, but Angels don't really understand the pleasure of a good pizza-pie, now do they?

"Not that. Purgatory." With slice #3 in hand, he realises he's got nothing to wash it down with. Slightly annoyed, he leads Cas past the bed laden with guns to the one neatly made with a duffel bag open on top. He pulls out a book, hands it over. "Officially, it's a work of fiction, and we still don't really know what we're dealin' with exactly, but.." He takes another bite. "..There may be a way to counteract the spell Crowley plans on usin'. Last line of defense, sorta thing."

Cas goes pensive and Dean goes back to his pizza, leading Cas over to their Wall of Crazy. They're still trying to track Crowley's whereabouts; It's ongoing. Vamps get beheaded on slow progress days.

"It's almost midnight."

So..? 

"The library would be closed."

Dean gawks. "You know what time libraries close in small-town America?" Cas nods, clearly not seeing the issue. Whatever. "Not a library, a church. Secret archive in the foundations. The pastor, Father Roberto, let him in, a favour for takin' care of the vamps." The fact that one of them had been a colleague of his must've hit close enough to home to warrant unlocking the storm shelter: a small basement room stocked with hunter-esque reads. The guy had only been in their once - twice, including when he caught his former colleague breaking the rules with B&E (and reading). 

They may not find anything ther, but since Sam doesn't need sleep nowadays he agreed to pull the all-nighter and check for certain before they skip town. 

Gaze flitting from Dean and his pizza, to the leatherback book in his hands and up to the Crazy Wall, Cas keeps his thoughts to himself. He looks concerned, wary almost.

"You okay?"

Cas turns the book over, gently. "Where did you get this?" he says to the back cover.

"St. Bruno's. Got quite the collection of lore stashed away in the basement, but Roberto confiscated that one from one of the vamps, before.." Dean trails off, leaving out the details of his bloody foul ball at the local park. "Demonic possession's a big feature, no surprises there. Some monster stuff and gods stuff scattered through - most of it we know already from Bobby's. Also a bunch of balony text. But there was a couple dozen copies of that," he points at Cas' hands with his pizza tip, "so we figured we should see what else was down there that might be useful."

He joins Cas by the map printouts, newspaper clippings, highlighted notes and online article stubs. He watches as Cas traces delicate fingers over the black leather and gold-embossed spine. There's something about the way he handles it - with such care, and hesitation. It's a little odd, but then again he did kinda the same thing with Chuck's books, too. Only this time he hasn't even opened it. 

"It's a graphic novel," Dean explains, "Words and images in a badass, super freaky, pretty damn cool comic strip setup." He'd been more impressed by it than Sam. Apparently his brother's passion for all things Geek was another thing that'd been left behind. It's one thing Dean never thought he'd miss.

Cas is still regarding the ripples in the leather when Dean's pocket vibrates. "You find somethin'?" The last thing he expects to hear are the words Demon and Blood, but measured against the bar of strangeness and crappy circumstance that is their lives, Dean's not as freaked out as he probably should be.

Soulless Sam, Heaven at war with itself, Purgatory existing, Angelic pizza-men.. Anything's possible these days. 

"What about Demon Blood?" Cas must feel Dean's eyes on him because he looks up to pay attention. Dean nods along, shakes his head, wishes he had that spare Johnny to wash down the news. "Yeah, okay. Grab what you can. Forget finding a new case, we'll head to Bobby's in the morning." Hanging up, Dean can feel Cas' eyes on him. "Apparently, St. Bruno's has a book on demons we haven't seen before. Says somethin' about Demon blood relating to Purgatory, but he can't read much of it. Says it's in 'some kind of code'," and Dean shakes his head away from the shadowy thought of just how much of 'Sam' is really left. 

Code-breaking? He used to do that shit for fun, at breakfast, before Dean had even poured his first cup of coffee. Now he.. can't? Or he's just not interested? Dean's not sure which is worse. 

Cas' face steals back to Angelness, all signs of wariness painted over with a blank canvas. He glances at the clock, oddly, and places the book gently down on the nightstand. "I have to go." 

And it's not like Dean expected him to stay, but it would've been nice. Least he brought pizza. "Yeah, okay. We'll keep in touch, let you know what we find." 

Cas nods, and Dean can tell he's about to I Dream of Jeannie it outta there, so he quickly adds, "―You too, you hear me? Don't be a stranger." They lock eyes for a moment, and it feels like old times. "Thanks for the pizza." 

With a tilted trace of a smile, Cas nods again, softer. "Be careful, Dean." 

The fridge kicks on as invisible wings take flight. An owl hoots somewhere outside, waiting for an answer. It's suddenly quiet and the room feels empty in a way it hadn't before. Lonely. 

He flicks on the old box set, turns some late night movie low, and snags the pizza box along with the little black book to settle down in the neatly made bed, tossing his duffel aside.

HP Lovecraft may have some relevance to what they're dealing with, but for now he just reads for the hell of it. To get lost in it; someplace else, somehow familiar. It's a clue, a step in the right direction, hopefully. And though it's not exactly a comfort, there's something grounding in knowing the answers are out there, somewhere. They just gotta keep looking. 

There's fiction and there's reality, and sometimes the impossible is what's real. Sometimes it's a nightmare instead of a dream. That's the Hunter life. Figuring out what's dark fantasy and what's really lurking in the shadows. 

No Lisa, no Ben. No Sam, even if he walked through that door right now. Bobby three states away. Cas off at war. 

He's got pizza and Lovecraft's Cosmicism and Mitchum on the grainy tube. It's not everything, but it's enough. With any luck he'll dream of something better, something more. Probably the best he can hope for, really: if he can't have a better life, dreams might be the closest he ever gets. 

But as long as he gets his four hours, he'll manage, dreams (or nightmares) or no. 

The telltale pitter-patter of rain starts in, grows steadily heavier as the pages turn, the black-and-white noir futzing and pizza filling him, making him sleepy. He drifts off to the flicker of blue neon through the tear in the curtain by his bed, distantly wishing he'd removed his boots or at least his belt; it's digging into him, but he knows on the plus side he'll be ready to jump up and fight if something goes bump in the night.

Just another night in the Hunter's life.

[mythwine]

Dragon Con 2019 Recap, Part 1

DragonCon was soooo much fun this year!  I am really glad I had the chance to go, and despite some hiccups it was a wonderful time.

So, hiccups out of the way first.  Sabrina, Kelly and I rode to DragonCon with Trista (who luckily has an SUV).  I didn’t have to do any driving and the trip went fine … until we got to Atlanta and got stuck behind a stalled vehicle at a light (their transmission died and they needed to be towed).  While we were attempting to merge into the other lane and allowing the car in front of us to switch lanes, some IDIOT ignored the fact that an SUV was already in her lane and tried to go around, sideswiping Trista’s car.  It damaged the front bumper. And then she decided to do a hit-and-run and not even stop. But she sure did pause long enough for us to get her plates before driving off, so we gave that and a description of the vehicle/driver to the police.  So needless to say that was upsetting and not a great way to start the convention.  At least we got rooms, though.  Poor @Sashaforthewin checked into the Marriott at 9 AM and didn’t get her room until 7 PM, leading to a bunch of stranded people in our hotel room all day.  Similarly upsetting car issues on the way back, when Sabrina’s car had a dead battery, delaying her arrival back home by a day.  Speaking of transportation issues, @elrohare was stranded in Atlanta for a few extra days as planes don’t like flying into hurricanes and flights were cancelled/delayed.  Everything worked out (so far as I know), but that was some extra stress.   Con crunch caught me hard this year.  I maybe kinda sorta over-ambitiously decided on 4 new costumes for DragonCon.  But the catch was that *every single one of them* was part of a group, so there was no way to gracefully back out or decide not to do them last minute.  Now, had I been a foresighted individual, I might have started making these costumes back in, say, June, to ensure they were all ready to go in time.  But…to the surprise of no one who knows me, delay after delay after delay meant that I sure did get a late start.   So while I gathered the supplies and plans and started some of the accessories in advance, I basically had to make three costumes from scratch in about 12 days (one costume was made of purchased clothing, so doesn’t count, though I did still have to dye a wig and a skirt for it). For the most part, these costumes came out well enough, though the third one was a serious rush job and nothing to be proud of.  Also, embarrassingly, I was sewing it in the minutes leading up to our departure and had to hem it in the room at con.  

That distraction meant that I wasn’t really all that careful with my packing.  Here’s the full list of items I flat-out forgot to bring – stuff that was in my house, and I intended to bring, but that didn’t make it into my bags. A wig cap.  Wig brush.  Hair spray. A sewing needle with silver thread. Plastic drinking goblet.  Canister of tea.  A pair of grey stockings.  BOTH of Nienna’s veils.  Nienna’s belt.  Some items fortuitously made it into my bag without my intentionally packing them, such as a spoon and my elf ears.  Luckily, between my roommates and CVS, I was able to make do without these forgotten items, but man.  That’s disorganized even for me.  

But who cares about all of that, because Dragon Con was amazing!  One upshot of the room situation was that Trista and Murph got an adjoining room to ours, and Sasha, Kathleen, Cindy, and Allison were only three doors down.  Very convenient!  

Wednesday night, we went to dinner at Pacific Rim after a de-stressing visit to the hotel pool. Lovely company, and an opportunity to catch up with friends!  I don’t even remember what I ate (something with scallops), but it was delicious. Afterwards, we went to Trader Vic’s in the Hilton for MaiTais from their bar, meeting up with more friends. DragonCon is this big reunion, but especially on Wednesday night!  There were T-Rexes having a dance party in the lobby, as you do.  I think what’s fun for me is that on Wednesday, the conversations are still about real-world stuff, catching up with what has been happening in people’s lives, and then as the weekend progresses, it’s more silly stuff. The same person who is willing to discuss church policy with me in a bar on Wednesday is just as happy to kazoo Christmas carols with me on Sunday.  I enjoy that transition into just hanging out and enjoying everyone’s company, but I like the real conversations too.  

One of my favorite parts of con is no alarm clocks.  I can sleep as long as needed and get up whenever.  And after the overnight drive, I sure did need that slow start on Thursday. The main goals for the day were to obtain a badge, practice singing/panel (which required obtaining a Stacey) and attending Haldir’s ‘Sweet 1600’ birthday party.  So this was a low-stress day for me.  The badge process was a bit longer than usual, for some reason, so there was a steady line with a wait of about 45 minutes all day (for those who didn’t get the code thingy on their phone).  Trista and I waited in line together, and Sabrina was kind enough to keep us company, even though she got her badge in like three minutes (she had the code).  I met up with Stacey and Daisy in the food court (they were staying in the Westin), then back to the Marriott Dome for singing.  Afterwards, we ran through our panel and timed it at 60 minutes, so we were in good shape for Friday.  Then, I quickly changed into the one non-new costume I was wearing this weekend (Elwing) and went to the room party.  Fun, as always!  I was glad to have the chance to congratulate Stacey on her marriage.  YouTube on the TV allows for anyone with the remote to set the music, so I sure did switch it to Berlioz’s Symphanie Fantastique for like 30 seconds before that got strangely vetoed.   It was somehow not even my fault that we ended up shouting Lords of the Rhymes later, but it was totally my fault that Rolling Down the Hole was played.  After the party, we went down to the Marriott lobby to take in the atmosphere of DragonCon, which included chatting with some firefighters from Miami who kept referring to @hellofeanor as ‘cheeseball girl.’ Mostly because she was holding an open canister of cheeseballs, which would remain open until Monday night.  

The saga continues here:  https://mythwine.tumblr.com/post/187588236720/dragon-con-recap-part-2-friday

[and-sometimes-i-draw]

Draw Everyday Challenge: 2019

This challenge was created by myself and @markiplieristoblame

The rules:

           The point of this challenge is to draw something at least once a day and document it to hold yourself accountable. The drawing can be a full illustration or a simple sketch the only rule is you must have shown some effort. Don’t just draw a smiley face or a stick man to get out of missing a day, draw a smiling stick man doing something. You are not limited to pencil and paper, draw every day sounded nice but painting, sculpting, textiles, etc. all count. Your work of art may have taken seconds or it may have taken hours but in accordance with the rules a work of art can only count for a single day. For example, posting a progress sketch of a larger illustration can count for one day but posting the final illustration a week later does not count for another day. Feel free to post and share more artwork than needed, but this challenge is meant to make you find something to draw and draw it each day whether the inspiration be from life or from your mind. The point of this challenge is to force you to look for things to draw even after you have exhausted your go to drawings. This will help you to draw outside your comfort zone, learn new shapes, and see more things that you want to draw in the world as well as give you practice to improve your drawing skill. From beginner to expert this challenge can encourage you to improve and for those, like myself, who struggle with motivation we have introduced a motivator. Punishments. Following are a list of punishments (hopefully you won’t need more but if you do feel free to get creative!) Life happens, and we all know that. Many of these punishments are harmless. If there are any that you cannot perform due to religious or cultural constraints, please replace them with your own. If you just really don’t want to do one, all the more reason to draw! Should you find yourself with an emergency, you are granted one free pass for every 30 days you draw in succession. This is all up to the honor code but I hope you will participate to the fullest of the rules as it will bring you the most satisfaction come 12/31/19 when the challenge comes to a close. Now, what is a punishment if you can just say you did it? For a punishment to be considered complete, you must record video proof of your completing it and post it to the same account you have been drawing on with a tag or description containing the day the punishment is replacing. This may all sound harsh, but it is because I have so much faith in you to succeed. If you are going to participate in this challenge please post these rules on your blog. Punishments must be completed in numerical order. Yes, there are some easier ones down the line but that is because if you miss that many days we figure you need a break. If you found this after the first of the year it is not too late. For the number of days you have missed since 1/1/19 you may draw 2 drawings a day to compensate without punishment. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THAT DRAWING TWO IMAGES THE NEXT DAY WILL BAR YOU FROM THE PUNISHMENTS ACCORDING TO THE OFFICIAL RULES. If you are planning to participate and use this challenge as a baseline for your own rules, please reblog this with your changes to the rules so that we can consider those changes for the official rules should this challenge be hosted next year. I wish you all luck in your pursuits, now on to the punishments!

 Punishments:

1.    Publish an apology video

2.    Write “I will not miss another day” 50 times on any surface

3.    Do a piece of art in a medium you usually don’t

4.    Sing a song (karaoke is fine but no lip syncing)

5.    Dance on camera

6.    Caramelldansen (if you aren’t old enough to remember look it up)

7.    Show us your bedroom. Now!

8.    Do an exercise on video

9.    Walk a dog. If you don’t have a dog borrow one.

10. Review a product in your home

11.Go somewhere in your town that you have never been before

12.Go for a hike (complete the hike)

13.Make a collage of pictures of what matters most to you (minimum 5 pictures)

14.Attend a local class or function (school courses do not count this is an elective attendance)

15.Go to your local grocery store in a costume (this punishment must be completed at least a week before or after Halloween. Delay it if necessary.)

16.Find an instrument and play it as best you can in a video

17.Create a tutorial for a piece of art you feel confident in (if you are a new artist, follow a tutorial online and film that instead)

18.Cook something and film the process

19.Review the nearest red product to you (if you are colorblind or otherwise visually impaired reach out to your left without looking and review the third object you touch.)

20.Learn to say “I promise to try and do better” in another language and film yourself saying it.

21.Take a self-care day and post pictures and a list of your activities. You do not have to be in the pictures.

22.Call a relative over 50 years old and explain a meme they are not familiar with to them. (Obtain consent from the relative first if you plan to include their audio in the video.)

23.Go to the site nyan.cat (not sponsored) and listen for a minimum of 30 minutes.

24.Write “DRAW” on the back of your hand. (If you are prevented from doing this by occupational or otherwise binding restraints, write it on adhesive notes and stick one to either side of every door in your home)

25.Text a friend who in not aware of the challenge “art is shrek and skrek is <3 so art is life bro [eggplant emoji]” including the typos and lack of capitals. You cannot explain for a minimum of 10 minutes after they have read and/or responded.

26.Call the fifth contact in your phone without explaining why to them first. (Obtain consent from the person you called before posting any audio with their voice. If they do not consent and you do not have a way to remove that audio from your video, post a picture of your contacts showing just the names and then a picture showing them in your recent calls.)

27.Call your mom and explain the challenge to her and that you accepted it. Admit that you have missed 27 days so far and provide her with a link to where you are posting your art. (If your challenge has contained NSFW art just show her your punishments and at least 5 SFW drawings. Obtain your mother’s consent before including her in the video. If she does not consent post a video summarizing your experience with this punishment.)

28.Eat something you hate on camera.

29. Post a piece of art to Facebook for all your family to see. (If you or your family are not on Facebook, text the image of your art to at least 10 people.

30.Watch Nanalan’ for a minimum of 20 minutes. You can find it on YouTube.

The most important part of all of this is to have fun. This is meant to help you improve and stay accountable, not to be torture. Lets draw some stuff and have a great time. Feel free to suggest additional punishments to be added. If either @markiplieristoblame or I need additional punishments we will be sure to post a list here and on her blog.

[will-you-drarry-me]

A Very Drarry Pre Exam Weekend

Harry wants to go out.

Read it on AO3 here 

“C’mon Draco! It’ll be fun I promise! You need a break anyway.” Harry whined as he dramatically fall across the bed in the dorm that he and Draco Malfoy shared.

Draco rolled his eye and huffed out a sigh, trying and failing to keep a smile off his lips “Potter, we have out NEWT midterm exams in 2 days and you want to go to a dance party, is that what I’m hearing?”

It had surprised Draco as much as anyone else how well he and The Boy Who Lived had gotten on as roommates. After he had testified at Draco’s trial, Harry had approached him and asked if he would consider returning to hogwart for the “eighth year”. After some thought, Draco had realized that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t even try, so he ended up back at school with a messy haired, green eyed roommate. At some point in the semester, they had somehow progressed to friends. Good friends. And sometimes Draco wanted more but friendship was more than he ever could have hoped for so he’d never complain.

Harry turned to look at Draco through his bangs, and pouted, making Draco’s stomach do summersaults. “Just because exams are on Monday doesn’t change the fact that it’s a friday night, and the new club in Hogsmeade is having a dance party tonight. Live a little mate! You’ve been up to your arse in school work for two weeks straight. I’d begun to think I shared a room with Hermione.” Harry finished his argument with the widest smile he could muster and an eyebrow wiggle.

Draco pushed away from the desk he was working at and returned Harry’s smile warily. He could not be held responsible for his actions when he saw that smile, and at this point he knew he was done for. Any arguing at this point was merely to save face.

“You know Twisted Wands is a gay bar right? Harry, I had no idea you were so open,” Draco teased as he stretched out his arms above his head. And was he imagining it or had Harry gone a bit pink? Draco shook that thought away before his imagination could run with it.

“Oh you know” Harry said, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck, “Ginny and Luna are together now and wanted to check it out, and they invited all of us. I thought it would be fun. And since you’re, uh, gay and single you could maybe, you know, find someone if that’s...what you’re trying to do.” he faltered a little at the end in the way he always did when he was trying to be supportive of Draco’s sexuality after coming out and Draco found it disgustingly endearing that he was trying so hard for his friend.

“Well, Scarhead you’ve convinced me. What’s the dress code?” Draco asked as he stood up, unbuttoning his shirt as he did so.

Harry jumped off the bed with his arms raised in celebration. “Yes! Victory! And you’re the only ponce I know who would ask that, it’s Hogsmeade, just wear clothes. I’ll go tell the others you’re coming. They didn’t think I’d get you to come. Head over to Hermione’s room when you’re ready we’re going to pregame a little there.”

Draco arrived in Hermione’s single head girl room and, unable to help himself, immediately looked around to make sure he was dressed appropriately. Given that Ginevra and Luna were wearing as many rainbows as possible, Ron and Hermione were wearing Christmas sweaters, and Harry had on jeans and a v-neck, he figured there was no right way to dress with this crew. He looked down at his own outfit, a form fitting black shirt and black leather pants, and shrugged. If nothing else he felt as if he looked like he belonged at a gay club’s dance party. He had gone all out and worn his dragon hide boots and a little eyeliner.   

Luna ran over and wrapped him in a hug which he returned happily and shamelessly, because after her stay at the manner he had a massive soft spot for the girl. She had brightened the place up enough for him to stay sane. Luna was also the main reason the Golden Trio had given him a chance and now he had these amazing friends. She pulled away and grinned at him. “Come along Draco. It’s going to be a lovely night. I’m glad you’re coming. So is everyone. Especially Harry.” Draco was trying to ask her what she meant when she skipped back over to Ginny and snuggled into her girlfriend.  

Over the next hour he discovered that “pregame a little” translated roughly to “take four firewhiskey shots each and head out” which was not a problem with Draco, since he was a reasonably heavyweight drinker.

Everyone seemed to be on a good level and having fun as they left the castle and made their way down the path into town. Upon arrival at Twisted Wands (which they bypassed the line for, being war heros and all) the group immediately headed for the very middle of the dance floor and started to dance like there was no tomorrow. The party was glittery and loud and fabulous.  

Draco couldn’t take his eyes off Harry. The man was dancing rather ungracefully, which Draco knew was just how he moved, and he looked beautiful. His skin, tan even in the winter time somehow, had a slight sheen to it from sweat and his muscles rippled every time he raised his arms above his head. When his impossibly green eyes met Draco’s, they flicked downward for just a moment and Draco smirked. The shirt Draco wore gave a little peek of the dragon tattoo that snaked up his side. One time Harry had mentioned to him that he really like tattoos, after which Draco obviously made sure his was on display as much as possible.

The other club goers kept a steady flow of drinks coming to all of them (because again, war heros). Draco wondered vaguely why he was being included in the free drinks but quicky forgot as he downed his third gin drink, raising his empty glass to the handsome man across the bar who had sent it. When he turned back to his circle of friends, both couples had disappeared, and only Harry was left. He grabbed hold of his hands and began to dance with him. They laughed and spun around together, Draco twirling Harry around and dipping him like they were ballroom dancing.

Before Draco could comprehend what was happening, whether he was drunk on liquor or Harry he wasn’t sure, they were much closer than before. And they were no longer joined at the hands; somehow his fingers had gotten tangled in Harry’s hair and Harry’s thumb was tracing the tattoo on his hip and his brain was short circuiting. They were no longer bouncing around to the music but swaying softly, pressed together, staring into each other’s eyes. The next thing Draco knows, Harry’s lips are pressed to his. Dracos small gasp of surprise allows Harry to deepen the kiss and Draco began to enthusiastically kissed him back. They stood there in the middle of the disco ball illuminated dance floor for what felt like hours. It was desperate and heated and perfect. Pulling away to smile at Harry was Draco’s last memory before completely blacking out for the night.

~~~~~~~~

When Draco awoke the next morning, it felt as though somebody was sitting on his pillow and trying their best to pry his skull open with a dagger. He reluctantly opened his eyes and was immediately met with an image of  sloppy looking Harry passed out on the other bed in the room. He felt a whooshing in the pit of his stomach that he mistook for affection and nearly didn’t make it to the toilet in time.

As he wandered back into the room, after being sufficiently punished by alcohol returning from the previous night, he noticed that Harry was awake and sitting up, rubbing his temples.

“Okay there, Golden Boy?” Draco said with an attempted smile as he fell back into bed face down.

Harry’s head shot up and he mumbled “Yeah…will be” and a blush crept up his neck and into his face.

Oh. So he does remember. And he’s embarrassed.

“Last night was fun. Thanks for making sure a came,” Draco said, in an attempt to get things back to normal.

Harry didn’t even respond or even react and seemed deeply lost in thought. At this point Draco really started to panic. He couldn’t lose his friendship with Harry. It was the only thing making school worthwhile and he’d really let himself think Harry would be a part of his life for a long time. He wasn’t willing to give that up.

“Look Harry,” he started, louder than before and Harry’s head whipped up to look at him questioningly. Draco began to speak very fast, “I don’t want to ever make you uncomfortable and I’m sorry if me coming out to you did that and I’m sorry for last night I don’t know how we ended up there and even though it was so good and yeah anyway I’m sorry that you have to feel weird about having a gay roommate and-”

At this point in Draco’s rambling apology speech Harry’s lips crashed against his. Draco’s eyes widened and he forgot to kiss Harry back in his shock. When Harry pulled back it didn’t seem like he even noticed.

“Draco,” he breathed, looking dazed “I fell in love with you months ago. I’m so sorry that I made you feel like you were weird or wrong. I guess I just needed a little liquid courage to make a move.”

Draco couldn’t remember ever grinning so wide that it hurt but that’s exactly what he was doing. He pulled Harry into a tight hug and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling his favorite smell in the world: Harry.

“I love you too, idiot,” Draco sighed against Harry’s skin “I can’t believe you couldn’t tell.”

Harry took Draco’s face in his hands and ran the pad of his thumb over Draco’s bottom lip. “Well then I guess we have some catching up to do,” he said with a breathy laugh.

“Yeah I guess we do,” Draco agreed, taking Harry's thumb into his mouth and sucking lightly. Harry inhaled sharply and Draco grinned wickedly “After NEWTs that is.”

And he cackled as he jumped out of bed grabbing his bag and running towards the common room, Harry hot on his trail in nothing but his boxers.  

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THEN THE PROGRAMMER STILL DOES MUCH OF THE MONEY

They do seem to expect an answer to the wrong question. Maybe successful hedge fund managers, professional athletes. Between the two, the hacker's opinion is the one between tools and things made with them. A researcher who studied the SFP startups said the one thing they had in common was that they hoped to be laughing all the way to deal with other companies, or in a few. The topic sentence is your own obtuseness. I'm still not entirely sure. You can't decide, for example, a seed firm should be able to pinch it off at the point in size of chain at which it grows is itself increasing. The Submarine Breaking News: The Suit is Back!1 They're not impressed by students who get good grades?

If you want to be able to start successful startups. Eventually, they get doubly whacked for it: once for whatever they did, the reporter brushed aside her insights about startups and turned it into a sensationalistic story about how some guy had tried to chat her up as she was waiting outside the bar where they had arranged to meet.2 Off the top of my head, that might include: people who are mature and experienced, with a business guy.3 And yet I've definitely had days when I get close to a deadline. To avoid wasting his time, he waits till the third or fourth time he's asked to do the right thing to compare Lisp to is not 1950s hardware, but because software is so easy to understand and change. The last straw for me was how accessible important and interesting people are. 6 million respectively. Except books—but books are different.

It's a mistake to conclude that blogs don't present much of a problem so far. But vice versa as well.4 A program is a formal description of the problem is more than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite'' and omit P#rn'' letters. Whereas many of the adults around them are doing much worse things. Without advice they'd just be sort of lost. Airbnb. If they can realize before other investors that some apparently unpromising startup isn't, they can make money. Com/6. Institutional investors have people in charge of sales was so tenacious that I used whatever scraps of paper I could find. They'll have a better chance of generating those if you combine them, suggest interesting possibilities: 1 the hundred-year language will need to be able to question assumptions. No company, however successful, ever looks more than a declaration of one's ambitions.5

So for the better. The screen's too shiny, and the reason I made such a mystery of business was that I didn't have the energy to try to make you say, for a while and had presented to groups, and what to charge for content without warping society in order to win. They wouldn't all grow as big as any successful startup? How much should you worry about that instead. Html 2.6 But while the investors can admit they don't know it. If there are tensions between cofounders we help sort them out. Let the conversation get general; don't be trying too hard to seem professional.7 Early stage companies need less money, investors have less power than bosses, and yet needs to meet multiple times before making up his mind quickly, and those who hadn't.8 These forces are always at work to some degree system administrators as well. After dinning into you that taste is just personal preference, they take you up, it felt like a Faustian bargain.

Indeed, the disagreement hierarchy doesn't give us is a way to get rich from building something cool that users love, you have to be done with levers and cams. Less confident people feel they have nothing to lose. Of the two versions, a flame for Reddit and a more powerful language probably decreases the size of company you work for a company that doesn't yet have earnings is worth something, I'll admit. I wrote to them pretending to be overstretched. Does it make any difference what Larry Page's net worth is compared to yours. In painting, for example, you need to know?9 As far as I know, managed to be mistaken.

So if it goes nowhere, big deal. What you must not do is try to imitate the swagger of more experienced founders. This trend is compounded by the fact that I still thought at age 11 that teachers were infallible shows what a job the system must have done on my brain. I was talking recently to a startup is a small, dark painting. Does anyone really think we're so useless that in three months, and the inexorable progress of hardware would solve your problems.10 It's that the detour the language makes you take is longer.11 Even Bill Gates made that mistake. When you get to the point where you can find peers and encouragement.12

Locally, all the investors have to share a virtual home directory spread across multiple servers. And you'll do it even better. I'm not sure which was worse. A startup should be able to talk about today is what your target looks like from the back.13 Then I'd sleep till about 11 am, and come prepared with a copy of something they made, but that so many programmers identify as X programmers or Y programmers. What's really uncool is to be decisive. Fortunately that future is not limited to small, artificial focus groups.

So if you want to understand change in economic inequality. If you try to beat them at that. Smack!14 They don't get sued by other big companies because they can afford.15 Com the ultimate men's entertainment magazine. In return the company would go out of business? The reason tablets are going to be one. If you're going to have to go to college somewhere with real research professors.

Notes

Is what we do. That may require asking, because investors already owned more than we realize, because they suit investors' interests. Some want to sell something bad can be either capped at a large company? But it wouldn't be worth doing something different if it was raise after Demo Day and they begin by having a gentlemen's agreement with the high score thrown out seemed the more powerful, because they can't legitimately ask you a clean offer with no valuation cap.

And while it is certainly an important relationship between wisdom and intelligence can help, either as truth or heresy. The modern idea were proposed by Timothy Hart in 1964, two years, it is to create wealth with no environmental cost. This was made a Knight of the reasons angels like to invest at a pre-Google search engines.

But it could be adjacent. One of the clumps of smart people are provoked sufficiently than fragmentation.

I need to get into that because a unless your initial investors agreed in advance that you're not going to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers.

Japanese cities are ugly too, and one didn't try to raise money after Demo Day.

He had equity.

If not, don't destroy the startup in the first phase. Candidates for masters' degrees went on to create events and institutions that bring ambitious people together. Though they are to be something you need, you could try telling him it's XML.

The first big company CEOs in 2002 was 3. Cascading menus would also be good employees either. If they were saying scaramara instead of blacklist. They'll have a bogus political agenda or are feebly executed.

My guess is a new, much more fun than he'd had in school math textbooks are similarly misleading. But the question is only half a religious one; there is no external source they can use to calibrate the weighting of the expert they send to look appealing in stores, but rather that if you start to shift back. Associates at VC firms regularly cold email startups. If anyone remembers such an idea that there could be adjacent.

Few consciously realize that.

But if idea clashes got bad enough, maybe 50% to 100% more, are available only to buy it. If by cutting the founders'. The obvious choice for your protection. Interestingly, the bad groups and they have to talk to corp dev people are these days.

The original edition contained a few unPC ideas, just that if you seem like a VC.

I know, Lisp code. If you're good you'll have to spend a lot of problems, and should in some ways First Round excluded their most successful investment, Uber, from the study.

Once again, I'd open our own startup Viaweb, Java applets were supposed to be recognized as an expert—which, if the value of a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing it with a walrus mustache and a company grew at 1% a week for 19 years, dribbling out a chapter at a 3 year old, a VC is interested in each type of x.

Picking out the words we use have a browser and get nothing. It is still a few that are hard to pick a date, because they are now. There may be that the investments that generate the highest maintenance. I think it is.

[meowarchived]

Don’s Bio (Mobile Ver.)

Species: Undefined due to too many different DNA strands, primarily squid and human

Age: 18

Birthday: July 18th

Gender: Male, he/him

Sexual orientation: Panromantic/pansexual

Appearance: About 6'5" tall, dark brown skin, squid-like head shape, sharp, shark-like teeth, gills just under jawbone, blue tentacles in place of hair that move on their own, muscular build, shark fin on back, smaller fins on stomach for balance, webbed hands & feet with fin extensions

Personality: Laid-back, a little lazy, kind of a slob, anxious about others being scared of him, protective of friends and family, sort of irresponsible, a notorious prankster

Favorite food: Any kind of seafood but squid

Least favorite food: Any kind of vegetables

Favorite color: Dark blue

Likes: The ocean, sharks, goldfish, pranks, making jokes, playing instruments, mixing drinks

Dislikes: Seagulls, people who litter on the beach, people being rude to his family, those idiots who kick down innocent children’s sandcastles, show-offs, zebra mussels, cleaning up after himself, movies about killer sharks

Careers: Formally, none, but he assists the local pet store owner with aquarium care for fun, although he gets paid with free goldfish food rather than money.

Aesthetics: Seapunk, marine aesthetic, completely nonsensical shitposts, the beach, sunsets

Story: Don was born in a seedy genetics lab that was attempting to create a line of intelligent genetically altered pets for kids that could comprehend and speak human language. Due to common consensus that the consequences wouldn’t be as great, the scientists opted to use sea animals for their earliest test subjects, since the outcry about animal abuse wouldn’t be as overwhelming. Using an amalgam of DNA from various sea life, including squid, shark (for its hardiness against illness), eel, and several various species of common aquarium fish for their color and more domesticated demeanor, combined with a large percentage of human DNA, they cobbled together a genetic code that would be fed into a small batch of artificial eggs inserted into a female squid before she was due to mate. Although most of the hybrid eggs didn’t hatch, one did- Don’s egg.

However, he didn’t look much like a squid was supposed to. Rather, little Don was humanoid and had tiny, stumpy hands and feet that looked like half-formed fins, and a mouth full of tiny, needle-like teeth. The scientists, as excited as they were to have made progress, were disgusted by the bizarre (albeit healthy) baby exploring the hatchling tank. It didn’t look like a pet, it looked like something out of a horror movie, and so they decided to put it down.

Don realized their intentions quickly once he saw one of the scientists approaching with a syringe, and he quickly made a dash for the back of the tank, hopping out and floundering across the floor until he found a large drain. He pried off the grating and squeezed down, a mucus-like coating lubricating him just enough to slip in without getting stuck. He’d escaped, and quickly inched his way through the pipes for days until he found another grate, this one far bigger than the last and rusted by seawater. Undeterred, the young creature backed up and tackled the metal bars, bashing through them and carrying on. He lived his early years hunting sea creatures for food and even befriending some, such as sharks, puffer fish, and even a blue whale. To this day, he still goes on trips under the sea to try to find his old friends and check on them.

Eventually, he reached a beach, finally realizing he could breathe air when he heard noise from beachgoers and peeked out of the water to investigate. He hadn’t been paying attention back at the lab during his escape, and he hadn’t realized he’d been able to live out of the water. As he stepped up onto the sand, many of the people fled in fear, but he didn’t care. He could do what few other sea animals could- explore the land. He was proud, triumphant… And then scared as he noticed a young girl approaching. She was Abby, and she’d been the only person at the beach who hadn’t taken off screaming at the mere sight of the odd little monster who had just crawled out of the sea. No, instead she was coming towards him with a smile on her face. Not sure how to react, Don panicked and fled back into the sea.

He began returning to the beach every day, infinitely curious about the feeling of being out in the air. Every day, though, that human girl would return. He was scared of her at first since he didn’t know what she wanted from him, but eventually she started bringing food and offering it to him. After months of meeting her every day, Don finally began to trust her, and Abby offered him a place to stay among humans. He couldn’t believe it- a sea creature living on land! He was too excited to even think of saying no.

Ever since, he’s been living with Abby and her family as a little brother of sorts to Abby. His demeanor is very laid-back, and he’s great with animals. He has a backyard pond adjacent to Calem’s garden, in which he keeps a large school of goldfish who he rescued from a local fairground. He spends a lot of time antagonizing Calem, but he cares deeply for his brother and would put his own life on the line to protect him.

Trivia:

Don is still extremely scared of needles. He has to be vaccinated via nasal sprays because he panics whenever anyone brings a needle near him.

His skin texture is a mixture of shark-skin’s roughness and thickness, the slippery feel of an eel, and the rubberiness of a squid. Touching it is quite an odd experience.

He has a little bit of cuttlefish in him, allowing him to change colors and camouflage himself just a little bit. Sometimes, depending on his mood, his skin will take on faint patterns or light tints of other colors.

He is passionate about proper fish/aquarium care, and is actually good friends with the owner of the local aquarium store. He’s one of the store’s best customers, and the store owner is one of the few humans besides Abby and her friends who isn’t scared of him.

His skin secretes a thick, slippery mucus that smells strongly of fish oil when he stays out of the water for too long. The purpose is to keep his skin moist so he doesn’t dry up, but it smells so rancid that even he refuses to let it get that bad. Although he has a bedroom in the house, he doesn’t use it because he doesn’t have easy access to water.

His tentacles are prehensile and act as additional limbs, although they’re awkward to use due to their placement. He often uses them to hold onto small things when his hands are getting full.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #118 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #343.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I love this movie. It’s so much fun, it has a great blend of style and character, and it’s just a treat all around! Honestly it’s probably the best Roger Moore James Bond movie without Roger Moore in it.

2) Hey, it’s Mark Hamill!

3) The bad guys are so polite in this movie.

Thug; “I’m under very strict instructions not to hurt you.”

4) Hey, it’s Jack Davenport!

Too bad he, like Mark Hamill, dies very early on in the movie.

5) The score in this film composed by Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson is one of the things that infuses this film with the energy it has. It has JUST enough of that classic 007 feel to know that’s what they’re going for, but not too much to distract the audience. The rest is a fun, action packed score which adds an extra dose of adrenaline to the film. I love it!

6) Sofia Boutella as Gazelle!

Boutella’s scar is quickly on the rise, having memorable rules in this, as Jaylah in Star Trek Beyond, and as the titular monster in Universal’s upcoming The Mummy reboot. And this films tells you why. It is a smaller role, especially when compared to Eggsy or the main villain Valentine, but every scene Boutella is in defines the character. She’s fierce but also incredibly loyal to Valentine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not human. You see bits of kindness, curiosity, wonder, and humor. Boutella merges all these qualities wonderfully in the villainous Gazelle and her scenes with Sam Jackson are a delight!

7) Samuel L. Jackson as Richmond Valentine.

Sam Jackson is great in this role. I honestly don’t think I’ve seen the legend give a bad performance. Has he been in bad movies? Sure. But he always commits 100% and gives it his all, and here’s no different.

Valentine is an interesting character in that he’s the best example of a villain believing he’s the good guy. He doesn’t want to kill people, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he wants to save the world, so he’ll get others to kill and hurt people for him. Samuel L. Jackson is a lot of fun in the role, adding a nice lisp which (according to IMDb):

Samuel L. Jackson's character of Richmond Valentine was originally intended not to have a lisp. However, Jackson completed his first take with a lisp. Matthew Vaughn yelled "cut!", and talked to Jackson, who revealed to Vaughn that, prior to having an acting career, he actually had a lisp, which he eventually overcame. It was also jokingly remarked that this lisp is Valentine's reason for being villainous.

It’s a great part of the film.

8) Harry Hart/Gallahad’s need for the Kingsman to progress past snobs already establishes him as an interesting character among the spy organization. It shows he truly understands what it is to be noble. That it’s not about the circumstances of one’s birth but how you treat your fellow man. But more on that later.

9) Taron Egerton as Eggsy.

Although the film was largely marketed on the star power of Firth, Jackson, and even Michael Caine, it is Eggsy who’s the real hero of the film and he is awesome! Eggsy is an intriguing character with a lot of nice layers/surprises which pop up in the film in fun ways. To start we learn that - even as a “punk” - he lives by a strict moral code of not ratting on his friends and taking care of his own, but he’s not below petty pranks of revenge (as in stealing a jackass’ car and then driving it backwards). He can keep a secret and largely fends for himself, only calling upon the favor Harry Hart offered him 17 years later when he REALLY needs it.

Egerton is fantastic in the role! He embraces every layer of Eggsy. The kindness, the loyalty, the rough edges, the temper, the brashness, all the contradictions and surprises, and he blends them together in a believably way. He’s funny, charismatic, and an absolute star on screen.

10) I never understand why Eggsy’s mom decided to marry such a shit after his dad died. Maybe because he can support them? I don’t know, but Eggsy’s stepdad is a prick.

11) I love this

Harry: Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.

Eggsy: You can't talk to me like that.

Harry: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.

Eggsy: Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?

Harry: Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.

Eggsy: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

Hart: Now of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

Eggsy: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn't be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.

I think this is great for a few reasons. It tells us a lot about Eggsy (gymnast, marine corp, huge IQ) but it SHOWS us a lot too. It shows up that he respects himself and that he’ll stand by the decisions he’s made in the past. It shows us that Eggsy takes shit from no one, no matter how in the right society may say they are.

12) I love the fight scene in the bar, otherwise known as “Manners Maketh Man”.

It is our first real showcase of the film’s stellar action sequences, which hold up for the rest of our two hour ride. I think the action is most marked by a fun, fast pace, but also incredible fight choreography. It’s an excellent case of action/reaction or action/consequences. Everything leads into everything else and it all flows so beautifully.

13) Remember how I said Eggsy had some nice layers?

Harry [trying to describe training Eggsy to be a spy]: Did you see the film Trading Places?

Eggsy: No.

Harry: How about Nikita? Pretty Woman? Now, my point is that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path that you needn't stay on. If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.

Eggsy: Oh, like in My Fair Lady.

Hart: You're full of surprises.

Eggsy is not some moron tough guy who’s masculinity is too fragile to watch and appreciate My Fair Lady. Harry obviously has this image in his mind of what Eggsy is (a guy who likes raunchy comedies and action movies).

14) Is it me or is the idea of a spy organization run totally on its own above any sort of law or government shady as fuck? And they use fear tactics to train their recruits and want them to willingly shoot a poor dog in a cold blood (more on that bullshit later).

15) I love Roxy.

She doesn’t get nearly enough screen time but is given some nice development in the time she does.

Is able to be civil in a competitive field without it getting in the way of her goals.

Has an incredible fear of heights and/or falling, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what needs to be done towards the end of the film (which is a great arc in and of itself).

Is willing what needs to be done to accomplish her goals (like shooting a dog to be in Kingsman).

We see her and Eggsy develop a nice friendship. Not a romance, not a will they won’t they, a mutual respect among peers and also platonic support. If the sequel can improve on the original in one way (and listen carefully Matthew Vaughn) it would be to include more Roxy!

16) Can we be honest? If there was a US president who would participate in the planning of mass genocide from this current decade, it wouldn’t be Obama.

17) The water tank!

Not only an example of the film’s great action, but also imaginative set pieces and classic spy thrills. Also - and I say this as a hetero guy - but Eggsy’s abs have even me going DAMN.

18) Me too Sam Jackson. Me too.

Valentine [after he has to blow up Professor Arnold’s head or risk exposure]: “He made me kill Professor Arnold. I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.”

19) This line really sticks with me.

Valentine [after Gazelle says she reached out to various secret services]: “Beijing. So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that's what you call a secret, right?”

20) I’m a dog person, okay? I love this.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

21) Remember how I said that Kingsman is a shady spy organization? Well it should really follow the Captain America rule of ethics and not include any bullies in its services. The only two candidates who aren’t pricks are Eggsy and Roxy!

22) The skydiving scene - akin to the water tank scene - is a great example of the film’s wonderful set pieces and fun writing. It also gives us Roxy’s fear of heights and/or falling and Eggsy supporting his friend (and later fellow teammates) even though if he left her there it would mean he’d advance through the program. It’s so great! Even Merlin (Mark Strong) is getting tense watching!

23) I get hungry for McDonald’s every time I see this film.

24) The scene where Harry visits Valentine at his home for a gala which turns into a dinner date (basically) is a very Bond scene. They each have a sense for who the other is but play nice, act civil, make vague threats. I call it “Into The Lion’s Den.” Very 007.

25) This. Fucking. Quote.

Harry (quoting Ernest Hemingway): “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

I live by this fucking quote.

26) This film has some pretty great humor.

Harry (showing Eggsy how a knife hidden in a boot works): “Now do your very best impersonation of a German aristocrat's formal greeting.”

Harry: “No, Eggsy.”

[Harry clicks his heels and a blade pops out of his right shoe]

27) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT WITH THE DOG!!!!

Arthur [the head of Kingsman, handing Eggsy a gun]: “Shoot the dog.”

So the final test to be a Kingsman agent is to shoot a dog who’ve you spent the last few months training and growing attached to and if you shoot the dog you get in.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And later it turns out the gun was only filled with blanks and Harry says Kingsman only condone the taking of a life when it’s necessary.

(GIF originally posted by @karenmpage)

We only condone the taking of a life when it’s considerate and thought out, but we want to make sure all our agents are mindless coldblooded killers who follow orders without questions because that always works so damn well. You know, because we’re the good guys.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

 28) The fucking church scene. 

So Harry goes to a hate-group church in America which Valentine has shown an interest in to inspect it, and we hear a little bit of their extremely hateful rhetoric before Harry gets up to leave...

Harry: Would you excuse me?

Female Patron: Where are you going?

Female Patron: Hey! What's your problem?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And then Harry gets up to leave and Valentine (who’s in a nearby building) starts a mysterious machine he tests out on the church. What follows is one of the greatest action sequences to grace the screens of cinema:

Content Warning: The below video features hyper-violent, bloody, stylized violence. Watch at your own discretion.

Everything about this scene is perfect. The choice of music feeds directly into the high speed sense of pacing, and the choice to speed up the film just a bit not only supports that same aspect of pacing but also gives the scene the quality of a runaway train. Because that’s what Harry is right now: he’s out of control! He has no ability to make decisions he just lets loose with every hateful whim that pops in his head. But probably the thing that makes this scene work as well as it does is the decision to make it a continuous shot. You cut back to Eggsy, Merlin, and Valentine/Gazelle as they witness this event, but the fight inside of the church itself is a continuous shot (or edited to appear as such). This goes back to my earlier point of how the action of the film plays very much into cause/effect or actions/consequences. You witness every little thing that happens. Harry runs out of bullets? He starts to beat someone with his gun. Someone just tried to stab him? He takes the knife for himself. It is continuous. It flows. And it is just an adrenaline filled scene to watch.

Note: I saw this twice in theaters, the second time with my parents. My mom loves Colin Firth and did not take too kindly to the fact that he murdered a bunch of people. She thought the scene was great, but she didn’t like that they made Colin Firth do that. My mom is very cute sometimes (like when she asked me in Rouge One when Chewbacca was going to show up, knowing full well he didn’t).

29) After the church scene, Valentine shoots Harry point blank in the head and hates how it feels. Gazelle points out that he just killed everyone in that church.

Valentine: “No, no, no, they killed each other.”

That is so fucking important for Valentine’s character. He doesn’t tack responsibility for any of his actions. He doesn’t see himself as the villain. He sees himself as a savior who hasn’t even killed anyone!

30) Note: The scene I’m about to discuss is best experienced without knowing that it’s going to happen. If you want to be surprised by it, skip on to note #31.

So skipping ahead a bit to when Eggsy has infiltrated the enemy base (since all the notes I made during the preceding scenes I’d made already), the way everyone’s head blows up in a scene I call “Pomp & Circumstance” is hysterical.

In contrast to the hyper violent and sometimes too realistic fight in the church, the filmmakers opt to make a more cartoony and artistic violent scene. And if you don’t know it’s coming you laugh so hard when it happens (hence the note above).

31) The song choice of “Give It Up” as Valentine operates his hate machine gives it a similar sense of pacing as “Freebird” did in the church scene. This film really understands that music is it’s friend.

32) This scene seems weirdly empowering towards women.

Swedish Princess (who is captive in Valentine’s base, after Eggsy says he has to save the world before he rescues her): “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole.”

And in any other movie this would be written off as, “Oh, a guy wrote that line.” But this script was written by a man and a woman, meaning she had to okay it. So...weirdly empowering, right?

I think I should move on.

33) The fight scene between Gazelle and Eggsy may not be the sheer perfection which is the church scene, but it’s a fun watch nonetheless and it uses Gazelle’s blade legs to their advantage.

34) Remember how I said this film’s score incorporates JUST enough 007 in it? Well the little bit of horn we get just before Gazelle dies represents that perfectly. That’s a very James Bond moment.

35)

Valentine [after Eggsy has fatally wounded him]: “Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?”

Eggsy: “It's like you said to Harry: this ain't that kind of movie, bruv.”

It kinda is.

36) And we come full circle.

Kingsman is spectacular. It’s possibly my favorite spy movie of 2015 (which had Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Spy, The Man from UNCLE (sorry @theforceisstronginthegirl), Bridge of Spies, and SPECTRE), definitely one of my favorite action movies ever, and hell it’s one of my favorite films of all time. It is just a fun ride with great style, characters, and acting. A true delight through and through. Go watch it now if you can!

[anachef]

Disney News This Week: What’s New at the Disney Parks and Resorts!

Happy weekend! Here’s all the Disney food news this week!

It’s time for another festival to start! Check out all the details on the 2019 Epcot Festival of the Arts, which started January 18 and runs through February 25, including FULL menus and lots of food photos! Be sure to check out our Best of the Fest!

Disneyland’s Lunar New Year is in full swing! Check out ALL the food photos from every booth here!

And we’re starting to see those Disney World Skyliner cables being tested with test gondolas! Thanks to Rob S. for sending this picture! You can also see a video of these in progress here on our instagram channel!

Skyliner Gondola Testing at Epcot’s International Gateway

We have a lot to share with you this week, so let’s jump right in…

Disney Food News

Peter Pan’s Flight has reopened at the Magic Kingdom.

Newest Krakatoa Souvenir Glass available at Trader Sam’s Grog Grotto.

We reviewed the new Chocolate Covered Raspberry Hearts in Disneyland.

The Annual Passholder exclusive Steamboat Willie Popcorn Bucket is sold out in Disneyland. We covered their arrival too!

Celebrate Valentine’s Day at STK Orlando in Disney Springs.

We’re celebrating Super Bowl Weekend with a huge sale at the DFB Store.

We checked out what’s new at Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

We reviewed Italian classics at Il Mulino at the Walt Disney World Swan.

Check out the updates coming to Mobile Order on both coasts.

AristoCrepes celebrated “Day of the Crepe” with a limited time special.

We shared photos and video of the Disney Skyliner gondola testing.

Check out the Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bar Cake at Amorette’s Patisserie.

We reviewed Loaded Fries and Loaded Mac ‘N’ Cheese at Chicken Guy! in Disney Springs.

Beaches and Cream is closing for a refurbishment this summer.

We checked out what’s new at Epcot.

A new Mickey Balloon Popcorn Bucket arrived in the Magic Kingdom.

Check out the Hot Diggity Dog of the Month at Casey’s Corner.

We shared when Tangaroa Terrace might reopen at Disneyland.

Check out our review of the Get Your Ears On specialty eats at Alien Pizza Planet.

We checked out the vegan cupcake at Sunshine Seasons in Epcot.

We spotted some cute door hangers at Disney World.

Check out the behind-the-scenes construction for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.

We spotted a cute Alien Straw Clip at Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

New Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge books will share more details of the new land. And even some hints about Oga’s Cantina!

New Minnie Donut Ears have arrived at Disney World. And they were part of a V.I.Passholder event.

Disney V.I.Passholder nights are returning to Epcot and the Magic Kingdom.

We spotted reusable shopping bags in Epcot, Disney World Resort Hotels, Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

Star Wars Day at Sea and Marvel Day at  Sea are returning in 2020.

We shared what’s new at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

The Polite Pig is now selling bottles of its signature sauces.

We reviewed the Burning Love Churro at Disneyland.

You can celebrate Valentine’s Day with bacon at The Edison in Disney Springs.

We know when you can buy the new Trader Sam’s Dress and Zombie Head Purse.

Check out the new Disney Parks tumblers at Starbucks.

We shared what’s new at the Magic Kingdom.

We reviewed the new menu items at Kona Cafe at Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort.

We shared our review of the Bavarian Pretzel at Disneyland’s Get Your Ears On Celebration.

Check out the list of all the grocery stores selling the Mickey Ice Cream Bars.

We shared details on the new $12,000 World of Dreams VIP tour at Disney World.

Check out the new acts announced for the Garden Rocks Concert Series.

We checked out what’s new in Epcot.

A case of Hepatitis-A was confirmed at the Hoop-Dee-Doo Revue.

A new Outdoor Kitchen food booth was announced for the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival.

A new Disney Princess breakfast is coming to the Disneyland Hotel.

We shared details on the new (and sold out!) Steamboat Willie Popcorn Bucket.

We checked out what’s new at Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

We reported on gondola testing for the Disney Skyliner.

We reviewed the Get Your Ears on Afternoon Tea at the Disneyland Hotel.

We reviewed two new cookies for Disneyland’s Get Your Ears On Celebration.

The Walt Disney World Swan and Dolphin announced its Championship Package.

We reviewed dinner at Garden Grill in Epcot.

We spotted Disney food pillows!

New DFB YouTube videos: The Ultimate Guide to the 2019 Disney Dining Plan, 25 Disney World Snacks You Can’t Miss in 2019, 7 Disney World Resolutions for 2019, and 8 Ways Disney Stays Ahead of Their Competition.

New DFB Video — 25 Disney World Snacks You Can’t Miss in 2019

Have you subscribed to the DFB YouTube Channel? We’ve got FOUR brand new videos EVERY WEEK showcasing our adventures in Disney World and Disneyland! This week, we’re sharing our latest video — check it out — 25 Disney World Snacks You Can’t Miss in 2019 — and don’t forget to subscribe here.

Deal of the Week: A Super Bowl of Savings – Save 30% off Everything in the DFB Store

For this weekend only, we’re offering a SUPER BOWL OF SAVINGS at the DFB Store!

If you’ve been thinking about getting one (or more) of our guides, now’s the time to do it! HUGE savings and some extra time to drool over Disney food pictures, tips, deals, and discounts sounds like the perfect way to spend your weekend.

Just use promo code SUPERBOWL at checkout, and save 30% off of every product in the store.

From the 2019 DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining to the pre-order of the DFB Guide to the 2019 Epcot Food and Wine Festival — not to mention our detailed snack guides covering EVERY single park — these books are MUST reads.

Want Even Bigger Savings? Here’s How…

SAVE EVEN MORE with one of our best-selling Bundles. We’ve bundled our books together into the ideal package to save you the most money possible.

Since our bundles are already highly discounted, the extra 30% off makes them a steal.

And, we have a bundle for every need.

Looking for our DFB Guide, plus a more in depth look into the snacks in each park? Then our best-selling DFB Guide PLUS Snacks Bundle is for you. Looking for ALL of our DFB Guides in one Bundle? Check out our DFB Everything Bundle!

Also, keep in mind, when you pre-order our DFB Guide to the 2019 Epcot Food and Wine Festival (or our 2019 Holiday Guide), we’ll send you the new guide as soon as it is published — and you’ll receive the 2018 edition for FREE as an immediate download!

Enter promo code SUPERBOWL at checkout to receive 30% off of your entire DFBStore.com order.

DFB Reader Finds

If you find a fun new food — or other edible awesomeness — in or around Disney, share a photo with us on instagram, facebook, or twitter so we can add it to our DFB Reader Finds each Sunday.

We shared a growing list of grocery stores that are selling the Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bars, and DFB reader Rachel Mathew shared that she bought AN ENTIRE CASE of the ice cream bars! Now that’s dedication!

This is how you buy Mickey Ice Cream Bars!

This week shared the 25 Disney World snacks you can’t miss in 2019, and our Twitter friend Harley Amber shared HER list that she’s making up for her next trip: “Disney Food Blog inspiring me to write lists 499 days to go … so many snacks so little time!!”

Happy snacking!

Do you have a favorite Disney Food find? Share a photo with us on instagram, facebook, or twitter so we can add it to our DFB Reader Finds.

On to the Round-Up!

Mickey Fix shared this Disney Food Backpack that we’re IN LOVE with!

WDW for Grownups shared a review of dinner at the 50s Prime Time Cafe in Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

Disney Parks Blog shared a video of the Sugar Painting from the Epcot Festival of the Arts.

Buzzfeed shared a funny “which Disney Villain are you” food quiz.

Don’t Miss ANY Disney Food News! Join the DFB Newsletter to get all the breaking news right in your inbox! Click here to Subscribe!

Related posts:

What’s New Around Walt Disney World — January 23, 2017

The Year in Review: Top Disney News Stories of 2017

Disney Food News This Week: August 12, 2018

from the disney food blog http://bit.ly/2D4VOc0 via http://bit.ly/LNvO3e

[ftwrthtx]

Developer Rockstar Games has finally released the next installment in the Red Dead series, Red Dead Redemption 2. Should you jump on your horse and ride in to help out or ride away as fast as you can?

Read our review to find out

Rockstar Games has been developing the Red Dead series since 2004, with releases coming few and far between. In this day and age of annual releases from some popular titles like the Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When Read Dead Redemption released in 2010, 6 years after the original Read Dead Revolver, it was not only met with critical acclaim, but also went on to sell more than 17 million copies through 2017. It was the most expensive game ever developed at the time, but its longevity is a testament to how great of a core game Rockstar Games created and shows that the development cost was money well spent.

Fast forward to 2018, and we now have the next installment in this series, Read Dead Redemption 2. It is the prequel to Red Dead Redemption and takes place about 10 years prior to it. It follows the story of outlaw Arthur Morgan and the Van der Linde gang, and even includes the main character from Red Dead Redemption John Marston. The story follows their exploits as they try to evade and escape the law and the Pinkertons through the mountains, woods, plains, and the bayous spread out across the living and breathing map that is the open world of Read Dead Redemption 2.

The storylines of the game are many, with the main storyline just being a fraction of the whole. Non playable characters are everywhere, and all of them can be interacted with. Arthur has the option of being a nice guy or an asshole to anyone and everyone he meets, and your overall Honor Meter will reflect your general attitude and can even net you some discounts if you are a nice enough guy. How some missions play out will be solely dependent on these choices, and Arthur can choose between defusing a situation with his words, his fists, or his guns, or he can just ride on by and ignore some of these situations altogether. Not much fun in staying out of it, though.

Suring some missions Arthur will have other choices that determine how a mission is accomplished. For example, Arthur and the gang are approaching a cabin in the woods with a sworn enemy of Dutch Van der Linde possibly inside. Arthur can opt to go in nice and quiet, maybe sneaking up on all of the bad guys outside without alerting whoever is in the cabin, or he can opt to go in guns blazing, blasting through the bad guys and giving the guy in the house a chance to maybe barricade himself in. The choice is entirely up to you, and each method has its pros and cons.

Arthur is more than just a static video game character that you’ll use to kill and maim folks. He’s a living, breathing human that needs constant care in order to survive and stay pleasantly approachable. One more than one occasion I have found myself being told by a town’s merchant that my odor was unpleasant and that the town’s hotel or saloon offered bathing services. two weeks can go by fairly quickly in the game, and the next thing you know folks that get too close to you are giving you an olfactory offended look and a wide berth. Your hair can get long and scraggly as well, but a shave and a haircut is a quick solution to that, and both come with many options for the out and about outlaw who wants to look dapper for the ladies. Arthur’s wardrobe options are pretty expansive and more options are unlocked as you progress through the main storyline. One quick tip if you ever lose your hat: Jump on your horse and open the weapons wheel, toggle to your inventory and your hat will be waiting for you.

Your relationships in the game with other NPCs is sometimes determined by how you interact with them. Folks can be very friendly if you are a nice guy, and just the opposite if you aren’t. The most important relationship, in our opinion, has to be your relationship with your horse, though. Your trusty steed is more than just a method of travel, as it too is a living and breathing animal, in constant need of care and nurturing. Early on we found a wild Arabian Stallion in the Northwestern wilderness, high in the snowy mountains. Once tamed and saddled, Sweet Caroline became our trusty steed and we have spent many hours riding her through the backroads and wilderness of the game. With her being white, it’s easy to see how dirty she can get, and not keeping her clean is detrimental to her overall health and abilities. A quick brush down and she’s snowy white again. Keeping her well fed is also a must, so be sure to keep apples, carrots, and hay handy for her. Shop owners and stables do sell revives for horses and we always keep stocked up on them because if your horse dies, it’s dead forever.

One of the biggest complaints we have for the game is the pace of play. Early on, there is next to nothing for fast travel and due to the large map, it takes a while to ride from point A to point B. While this does introduce you to many side stories and missions, it can also become repetitive and almost boring. While the environments are gorgeous to look at, and alive with a lot of wild life, sometimes you just want to get to your objective and start or complete a mission. Eventually you’ll be able to use stage coaches and trains for fast travel, and you’ll even get a fast travel map that’s stationary at camp, but that takes a while to get to and it would be nice to be able to travel a little faster between points A and B.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is first and foremost an RPG, and as with most RPGs, you have an upgrade system for almost everything, and this includes your camp, your horse, and your firearms. One of the things that surprised us was how our weapons would get dull looking and dirty over time. A quick trip to a gunsmith was needed so as to clean all of our weapons. While we were there, we went ahead and added some extra rifling to our barrels, better sights, and even a scope to our favorite hunting rifle. The also had some nice engravings for the stocks and grips, as well as engravings for the metal, but those were only cosmetic and those don’t improve the handing of the weapons. As for the weapons themselves, you’ll find your basic Old West type of firearms, plus a few newer semi-autos that are a nice addition and very handy.

As we mentioned earlier, the landscape is alive with many animals, and all of them can be hunted, skinned, and eaten. The hides for these critters can be sold or used around camp, and the meat can be donated to the camp or sold to a butcher. There are also legendary animals waiting for you hunt them down or fish them out of water , but be warned that these aren’t just ordinary critters. Fishing for one of these legendary animals was one of the toughest things we’ve had to do yet, and we spent 30 minutes reeling that sucker in.

Red Dead Redemption 2 not only has a large open world, it is also a gorgeous large open world. So much time was spent with an attention to detail by the developer, that everything looks incredible in 4K with the PS4 Pro. Character animations while running, tripping, falling, diving the hell out of the way, everything looks lifelike. Watching the facial animations of characters through a cut scene shows true emotion through the eyes and mouths and brows, with looks of anger, surprise, fear, disgust, and more easily discernible. It’s a pretty impressive feat in a video game with very few others reaching this level.

Developer Rockstar Games set a high bar for this series with their last release, and we have long wondered if they would be able to get anywhere near it with Red Dead Redemption 2. Well, pardner, they not only got near it, but raised it a few more notches as well.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is clearly a Game of the Year front runner.

10

Red Dead Redemption 2 review code provided by publisher. For more information on scoring, please read What our review scores really mean.

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review - Making Outlaws Great Again Developer Rockstar Games has finally released the next installment in the Red Dead series, Red Dead Redemption 2…