#but on that note about them finished
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just finished some requests
#spirit talks š¤#will post tmrw#im so tiredš#im gonna proofread them when im well rested šš¾āāļø#but on that note about them finished#MIGHT AS WELL MAKE ANOTHER POST TELLING YALL TO SEND EM IN š#i NEED to write more monster!reader#or monster! character fics#zombies.. vampires.. ghosts.. SEND THEM INNN š£ļøš£ļø
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Iāve been looking at this darkened in-game screenshot since forever. ive known full well that her coat was probably actually white Thatās Fine but what do you mean delilah has a cowlick. Iāve been drawing her flat across the top of her stupid head this whole time. she doesnt look right with it now
#the notes about the christmas toons hammering in that shes dehumanizing of them i can handle. but a fucking cowlick /JOKEY#the art gallery#dandyās world#i think Iām going to make this unrebloggable bc i intend to finish this sketch#vote in the replies should i start drawing her cowlick or nah /partially jokey but idk. let me know if you like how it looks
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ok, on the subject of "what if siffrin really was an assassin." i feel like this siffrin wouldn't make the same wish as canon siffrin, for a few reasons:
while in canon, "i love my friends" is an easy-to-acknowledge fact about themself and "i sometimes wish time would just stop and we could live like this forever" is a selfish, shameful thing they try not to think about, in this au it's very much the other way around. (isn't it selfish, to think of someone you initially intended to kill, and the people who risked everything to support her, as your friends?)
also unlike canon siffrin, he doesn't even consider at this point that continuing to travel with his friends is a possibility (after all, they're going to find out tomorrow why he first approached the group. he'll be lucky if they're still speaking to him after that)
they don't have canon siffrin's thought that there's no need to add another "save vaugarde" wish to the pile, because a. this siffrin is already aware that wish craft is a thing, so it stands to reason that another wish could strengthen it, b. they know roughly how powerful the king is and that any edge they can get might make a difference, and c. the way they see it at this point, freezing vaugarde would save it
which is also why he doesn't wish for victory, or to stop the king. he's willing to acknowledge that part of him doesn't want that. he's convinced that the king is correct - the universe led him on this path, so it must be what the universe wants. so instead of going for a small, reasonable wish, he asks the universe to change course and listen to the vaugardians' wishes
but, i hear you ask, isn't this wish actually fulfilled by the king dying? where are the horrors?? and to that i say no, it comes back to the fact that siffrin is specifically thinking of what their friends want - for mirabelle and the others to get the futures they've been fighting for - under the assumption that it doesn't overlap much with what siffrin wants
and it's a bit more complicated, here, but his friends still want to keep him in their lives
#uhh organizational tag for this au.... how about...#assassiffrin au#perfect#in stars and time#isat#isat comic#isat au#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#mine#looked up the secret library dialogue after finishing this and i got the order of stuff a bit wrong but. too late to fix it now#it's a bit fuzzy anyway with the dialogue being shown in the same panel as them letting go of the leaf rather than before#anyway here's today's 4hr fugue state drawing :p#100 notes
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ok hear me out about this vaguely Your Name inspired lawlight au told via notes they leave each other while bodyswapped
#god I've been trying to keep a lid on my wip concepts before i can finish or post them#but theyre really piling up because i only have energy to Think Of and not to Finish Anything#and im starting to go crazy keeping them all in my brain#so here. here you get this. you have to look at this half baked nonsense#rookfic#ever think about how light's magazine gambit isnt explicitly something he prepared while kira#like its ambiguous enough that he could have prepared it earlier for absolutely no reason#death note#please dont look at the page count i have a lot more than im sharing. of this#dn your name au
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Some reploid au stuff so I donāt get burnt out working on Soul Core stuff lol.
This was partially inspired by @miserymet ās reploid Bass au so go and check that out if you havenāt itās super cool
#I have so many notes about these designs#I might include them in a reblog at some point#I think Roll and Bass turned out to be my favourites of the group#Roll because sheās a cutie and Bass because I managed to actually adapt his stupid fucking helmet to look like a reploid helmet#glad I decided to have his hair showing I think that little extra white really balances him out#okay Iām finished rambling#mega man#megaman#mmx#mega man x#megaman bass#rock light#roll light#proto man#protoman#rockman#my art
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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Imo the most impressive thing Leoās done is hold this pose for as long as he did while covered head to toe in gold paint:
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#if youāve ever had to wear body paint that stuff can be UNCOMFORTABLE#AND to hold that pose for so long - not moving a muscle even when they first started falling?#as humorous as this is it is no joke highly impressive#I also love the implication that they disguised Leo SO FAST that Big Mama JUST finished with item 1#this is why Leo grows to become the worlds greatest ninja#broās dedication to subterfuge is godly#also#Leo š¤ Mario: being painted gold and tricking the villainess into thinking youāre a statue#side note but in this same episode leo makes a comment about being betrayed by his brothers all the time in a happy tone#and I wonder if thatās part of where his love for epic betrayals comes from#or if his bros partially did those betrayals because they know he likes them#also also#nearly all of Leoās absolute best moments are contained within episodes that feature either Hueso or especially Big Mama#and I find that interesting#ALSO also also#Karai and Big Mama both embody different aspects of Leoās key character traits and in this essay I will-#side note but as I mentioned in the notes LEO WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD CHEERLEADER AND SPECIFICALLY A FLYER#bc hereās the thing he has literally all the marks of a good one - the main one being what he shows HERE#the ability to LOCK HIS POSITION#plus his affinity for showmanship like#AND his literal JOB AS A MASCOT???#let my guy be a cheerleader plz#he and Mikey both would be so good at it
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payneland modern no-one died au in which charles and edwin meet during summer holidays on vacation and spend all the time sneaking away from their families to be together. Sitting at night with thin blankets at a bonfire that's slowly burning down, telling jokes and feeling warmed by the company. exploring nearby woods and charles climbing trees and silently waiting for some birds to come out and he can take close-up photos for edwin. edwin reading to charles from detective stories and non-fiction books he's interested in and charles telling edwin about his favourite comics. edwin and charles sharing a pair of headphones to listen to their favourite music. charles and edwin dancing on a balcony.
charles and edwin hugging for a small eternity when summer ends and fades into autumn. charles saving edwin's phone number on his phone and frantically writing it with sharpie on his arm and the back of his hand for good measure. edwin doing the same and charles writing him a small note with his number and a message that edwin can use as a bookmark ("promise me you won't read that until you're home, yeah?" "I promise, charles")
#charles climbed the balcony when he saw edwin standing there#and he made a joke about them being like romeo and juliet#and then we have yet again the āthat story's a tragedyā āoh i didn't finish itā moment#also im so normal about the idea of them sharing headphones#and that little note charles wrote will be a separate post i promise#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#dbda#dead boy detective agency#payneland
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I've been thinking about JJBA again...
#I KNOW MOST OF THESE ARE JUST DIO AND GIORNO OKAY I JUST LOVE THEM AND THINK THEYRE NEAT AND MOST OF THE MEMES I SAW MADE ME THINK OF THEM#Also I haven't finished JJBA yet so I'm probably so wrong about most of these and i am so sorry if i am#i like to imagine that dio is just so bad with the internet and technology in general so he asks his henchmen or children for help#The casserole thing is 2 parts btw#also my smiling friends post got 1k+ notes??? thanks guys!!#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventures#jojo bizarre adventure#Dio Brando#dio jjba#jotaro kujo#Jotaro Kujo#jjba jotaro#noriaki kakyoin#jolyne kujo#giorno giovanna#rohan kishibe#rohan jjba#jjba meme#enrico pucci#pucci jjba#okuyasu nijimura#jjba okuyasu#are these good?? idk.#since people like these types of memes ill make more of them!!
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Wait is the middle picture from those three sketches that one scene from the wigmaker job?
yes! it's this specific passage where lucanis is just seething with rage and trying to keep a lid on it, and illario's a stablising, comforting presence. BROTHERS!!!!! <3 though i chose to draw his hand on his shoulder rather than his arm i guess. artistic liberty!
#in the future i want to discuss lucanis' anger in the short story + how spite would have made it worse#and how in my beautiful mind illario would have been the one to help him#no blood magic needed!!!!#like its a point of serious issues between the both of them and the relationship is like obviously fraught#and illario still gives his ambition pause because lucanis is losing himself to a demon and he drags him away from it#illario being a positive force despite his goals/lack of morality/etc is so interesting to me like. it doesnt matter what he's done#or the what's he's trying to do and all the usurping. lucanis is soothed just when his family is near#same applies to caterina to a . lesser extent. if they deserve this reaction from him is another thing#i also think. and important to note. that lucanis' internal narration never worries about illario's ability to finish the job#he sometimes giggles in his mind about illario not having the best balance or footing#but does not worry about the assassination being botched . and i also thought#the line 'i'm only here because of you' implies lucanis wants him to come on the job#considering he was the only one hired (the elf that greets them not recognising why he had someone with him)#so. i dont know why im saying all this actually. maybe just more on lucanis' dependancy on and care for illario + vice versa#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#answered#anonymous
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here's a near & mello swapš«š§©
#death note#death note fanart#near#mello#mihael keehl#nate river#anime#manga#digital art#fanart#elle draws#I know everyone's done one of these but I've had these as sketches since 2020 so I thought I'd just finish them#when you really think about their hairstyles (mello with the bob cut and near with the typical fluffy anime boy hair)#you can totally understand how their designs got swapped#this started as just a warmup i spent way too much time on these when i have other stuff i need to finish...
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@deathnotetober Day 2: SPK
Team Kira had better watch out.
#drawn by me#my fanart#Death Note#deathnotetober 2024#SPK#Near#Nate River#Stephen Gevanni#Halle Lidner#Anthony Rester#tried to incorporate some of my favorite moments or traits of them#Rester reading Mikami's lips#Gevanni either retrieving Mikami's actual Death Note or finishing the replica after pulling an all-nighter to do so~#Lidner shushing Mello from the manga (lol she ain't that worried about his guns or that he's crashing at her place post-explosion)#she's only annoyed at best at Mello's habit of pointing guns at her and other allies#Near being the bane of Light's existence~
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In order to turn a very embarrassing moment of my life into something funny have this stupid Timbern au:
The Drakes are alive so Tim is still on track for being the heir of D.I. but is interning at W.E. for the summer because Bruce offered a position
Bernard has been interning at W.E. as well, for volunteering hours
The both work in a small, newer branch of W.E. that focuses on cultivating more information about Gothamās history
Bernardās there because it's the most teen focused thing and Timās there because he wants to figure where exactly the Lazarus pit is under Gotham so he can mess with Raās
They are currently stationed at an old house that was made into a museum which is managed by Wayne Enterprises, but since most of it is a museum there are only a few rooms to actually work, however it being a teen thing itās very much choose your own hours so that prevents too many people from being there at once
Tim, who doesnāt want someone to come in a see the fact that heās already finished cataloging all of the 2023 Donations to the museum and is instead using the time to further research the numerous curses in Gotham and/or watch Demon Slayer, is very happy about this fact and only comes at either the earliest or latest times so he gets a room to himself and only has to pretend to be going through boxes when someone checks on him
Bernard immediately messes up Timās plan
Heās always there- morning, night, even when Tim changes up his schedule
And no matter how many how many empty rooms there might be he always finds Tim and sits with him, even the time Tim tried to hide in the attic under the guise of organizing a couple boxes up there
Being the paranoid idiot that he is Tim assume that Bernard is a from the League of Assassins and enacts a 46-step plan to figure out what heās planning (read: stalks him) and in the course of it ends up falling in love
Meanwhile on Bernardās side, the first week of the internship he walked into the room Tim was in and wanted to be friends with the cute boy
The reason that he kept finding Tim was that he was talking to Dick Grayson, his gymnastics instructor, and Dick had realized that the boy in question was his honorary little brother and told Bernard that āTimmyās shy, you just have to break down his walls to get to know himā and tells him when Timās going to the museum
Dick is well aware of what Tim thinks the situation is because heās the one Tim rants to, but he thinks itās funny and will make for a great story to tell at their wedding
#tim drake#dick grayson#bernard dowd#timbern#the real life version of this is far less cute and funny#I intern at my local museum along with about 20 kids from my school#i do not want to interact with these people so I always try to get to the archive room of the museum when no one else is there#Because you only really go into the archive room if your project has to do with organizing collections and catologing them#the first week I took note of which days the other two people whose projects are like that come#so I could avoid them and have the archive room to myself#so after I finished my work i could watch demon slayer in peace while still getting hours#but this one girl whoās project is working on the blog for the museum (does not need the archive room) keeps coming and sitting with me#it first happened like 4 weeks in so I assumed that there werenāt enough chairs in one the other rooms and that this was a one time thing#but it kept happening and when I moved to a different room she ended up sitting with me again#I happened to talk about this with a friend in passing#and my friend just started laughing because it turns out they were friends with the girl and she was trying to make friends with me#And i was an asshole who ignored her because i lowkey thought she was watching to make sure i was always working#I guess the next time i go I'll have an actual converstation with her instead of inquestive side-eyes
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Eyy, King Reaper and his beloved Mage Geno designs <3
#new age au#Geno is very tall (tall Geno supremacy <3) and Reaper usually floats so he's just slightly taller than Geno on any normal day <3#if he unties his robe in the back it drags along the floor at the perfect height to feign being very tall-#ohh I have so many thoughts about them :]#Geno's magic manifests as crystals so he wears some on his outfit (and keeps more in his pockets)#the black and purple ones on his belt are meant to be a little reference to Reaper (and Dust. before meeting him he only has a black one-)#Geno also uses a Cane! he's insanely skilled and powerful but on sone days magic fatigue finally catches up to him and he has to use it#the black half-robe was also the only accessory Reaper could convince Geno to adopt from his kingdom- that and the Sandals haha-#(I like to think Error made Geno's scarf-)#and ofc Reaper...#he's been ruling for so long that he lives in comfort rather than appearance because. i mean. no one is going to doubt him at this point#he leaves his ribcage exposed as a show of his confidence in his rule (direct access to his soul basically-) but also because. well.#he thinks he's eye-candy š#and in his kingdom the crown/sign of royalty are those olive branch circlets#he wears his over his hood usually. Geno recieved one when Reaper officially finished courting him. Dust would eventually get one. though#for him it's more the equivalent of a wedding ring since his loyalty lies with Nightmare still and he has little official ruling power in#Reaper's kingdom.#oh! Reaper also wears a littlr band Geno made him once on his ribs. it's a nice red gem that he's vaguely aware is actually a tracking spel#Geno thought he was being subtle about it. he. in fact. was not. but Reaper let him get away with it š#oh!!! last thing#Geno sometimes wears a nice silk wrap over his bad eye that's a nice clean white. it usually depends if he's doing magic or not#because his eye tends to get melty again if he strains during casting. and he's always overdoing it lmao-#anyways yeah#mm lied one more note#Reaper's wings are optional. kinda like a manifestation of his Ecto in a way since he doesn't need them to float#more just sonething to make him more regal or appear more threatening!#now I'm done#my favorite goofballs <3#spot!drawn#my art
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ive never watched h2o just add water but im australian so close enough and i desperately want to know more about death note h2o au. how does light becoming a mermaid make him able to kill people does he just like start grabbing people and drowning them. does L keep coming up with convoluted ways to reveal that light is a mermaid (i would like to know if someone attempts to push him into a pool at some point because i think thats how h2o mermaids work like you. just add waterā¢ and they turn into a mermaid right)
(this ask is referring to my tags on this post)
#i just looked in my notes and found a death note au of that australian mermaid show h2o just add water#in this au light becomes a mermaid and immediately uses his mermaid powers to fucking kill people#and also hes australian#and becuase he's australian hes not called kira#his murders were first noticed on nobby beach (queensland) (australia)#so hes called the ghost of nobby beach#or nobbo for short#because hes australian#does anyone want or need australian mermaid murder death note au called nobbo? why did i write this#when will i finish it
thank you for your interest and everyone else who has shown interest in death nobbo. this is a post about death nobbo, my death note h2o just add water au which takes place in queensland australia
they are Australian and live on the gold coast and light is a uni student who becomes a mermaid. because he is a normal person he realises this is his opportunity to kill people. he also has a pretty, shiny tail.
L is a detective whose attention is drawn to this weird string of drownings in Queensland, Australia. he comes down to investigate.
to answer your actual question:
light drowns people by waiting for them to go surfing or swimming or whatever and then flipping their boards etc and dragging them at top speed into a rip. he holds them down or tangles them up so they can't stick their arms up for lifeguards
L thinks it's sus that all these experienced beachgoers are making mistakes like this and that nobody's managed to call a lifeguard in time. a couple of lifeguards have reported seeing a bit of a commotion where victims are drowning, but get out there too late, and it seems like all of them are physically not able to hold their arms up
here are the rest of my notes in the planning doc and some excerpts:
L doesn't enrol in UQ (is light more of a QUT bitch) but does just like, show up? maybe he gives a talk? i think light is studying law because i want to be self fucking indulgent. so maybe L (via screen) gives a lecture for criminal justice students and starts asking people what they think about the nobbo murders. someone's like so you think it's definitely murder and not just people drowning? L is like you're a beach city. drownings aren't uncommon, but this many drownings from people who are all familiar with the ocean terrain and beach safety makes it very unlikely.
(translator's note: UQ is university of queensland, QUT is queensland university of technology)
He picks light out from the audience because he's already profiled him and they have a discussion
later on L shows up physically at the cafe where light works and asks if he'd like to go swimming. while light is working on how to get out of that one, L goes, oh no, I've forgotten my beach wear. let's go play tennis instead.
lights like internal monologue there's a surf shop next door. light yagami would probably just offer to lend L a rashie or say they can go next door to pick one up. if I take this out, will he thinks I'm suspicious? does he think I'm nobbo? but I can't go swimming or he'll realise the truth.
(translator's note: 'rashie' is aussie slang for 'rash guard' or 'rash shirt' and it's swimwear that is a shirt)
while light is freaking out, L is like, actually there's a mini golf place near mermaid beach I really want to try, so let's go swimming another time. light's like well okay
so they go have a gay game of mini golf. l asks light how mermaid beach got its name and if he thinks mermaids are real. they discuss nobbo.
why did i name him nobbo
misa is light's coworker btw. at some point she also becomes a mermaid and light has to stop her rom exposing them both because she is not very careful
light entered the pool alone so got all three powers - hydrokinesis, cryohydrokinesis and thermocryokinesis
and here's. fuckin, whatever
also the only important line in this au
#death note#asks#death nobbo#thanks for asking about death nobbo my death note australian mermaid au where they are australian#did you guys know before they settled on tennis some of the early ideas for gay contest were golf and fencing#we could have had fencing!#but we also could have had golf. that's why i made them do mini golf#you ever accuse someone of murder while playing mini golf with them? in queensland australia#rookfic#i guess. it's not a fic. i am not finishing this
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needy
adler x f!bell
summary: adler gets up for a morning cigarette. or tries to. read on ao3
tags/cw: established adlerbell, f!bell, she/her pronouns, bell is russian, fluff, light angst, no plot, drabble, smoking mention, kind of domestic i guess, bo6 adler so he's a little soft, pre-bo6 but post-panama, cw references galore, dog imagery as is synonymous w adlerbell atp, author has adhd and goes on prosaic rambles in lieu of an actual plot. this fic could have been an email?? sorry wc: 3.1k
a/n: bwuhhh this was just an excuse to write self indulgent soft morning adlerbell at the rook while i work on my actual pre-bo6 adlerbell rook fic when i have the energy . no plot, lots of rambling, once again kind of just a thinkpiece on their relationship now adler's an old fossil. idk she was doing nothing being left in my notes app ajdkhjkasjk
He reckons sheās needier these days, more than she ever used to be back in Berlin.
Sometimes he wonders if itās just his age that makes him feel that way; that perhaps she hasnāt changed at all, and instead itās the dust settling on his bones, rusted shrapnel over the years snagged in the joints and sinews, that makes him feel sluggish in comparison. Itās the first time in his life since Livingstone brought up the CIAās desire for moreĀ sprightlyĀ recruits that he wonders- is he struggling to keep up?
Their reunion after all these years was a messy one: a scrap in an indistinct bar, bloodied knuckles split and bruises welted dark blue, the white of his eye burst red, the curve of her jaw swollen for a good week. Fresh after Panama. As soon as she caught wind of what happened sheād picked up his trail barely a week after he arrived in Bulgaria. Had she come to kill him? He doesnāt know. It isnāt as if sheād confess to it even if she had, and maybe he had it coming anyway. It stopped mattering at all the second the fight had descended into the alleyway, wrestled onto their backs against the cobblestone, where hands had found throats and then jaw, waist, hip, and everything else. Punches had calmed to caresses, curses to kisses, and somehow heād found himself patching her up back at the Rook, his stray dog come home to him, like old times.
Sheād eased herself back into his life easily enough then. Simple and unspoken. Or, rather, wedged her foot back in the door well enough that he couldnāt shut her out again, even if heād wanted to (as if he hadnāt always kept it ajar all these years just to let her in, never closed, never closed). Never a word for what they are, what they have, the routine theyāve slipped almost effortlessly back into again- that hasnāt changed since the old days- and yet he doesnāt find that it robs it of meaning whatsoever.
If anything, it makes it something rare, special, his diamond in the rough, glinting sea glass washed a perfectly chiselled bead upon the shore. Just as sheād crashed along with the tide as time brought her back to him, he picked her up, tucked her gently back into that place she belonged, in between the rib and vertebrae, nestled inside him all to steady the beat of his restless heart. Her alone enough to settle the frantic, ceaseless palpitations heās suffered nightly, sinceā¦ Solovetsky? He thinks? The dull gnawing in the back of his mind all those years in between, that wasnāt sure if he was more frightened for her inevitable return or her disappearing forever, slipping through his fingers back to sea again.
He supposes it doesnāt matter anymore. That was then, and now seemed to fare much nicer.
Now, she rolls sweet and placid onto her back against the mattress, limp as a daisy in rain, soft body bowing to his careful manhandling; heās itching for a smoke, aching for his vice the second he awoke, hours too early for his alarm. He lifts her off him delicately, almost methodical as he starts with her arm, the heavy loll of her head, her shoulder. Like defusing a bomb, heād joked once, a comparison sheād only proven right by her explosive reaction to it.
Itās an odd feeling, though, the calm where there had once been nothing but war between them, the quiet, the warmth upon his chest now fading where sheād laid her head after he came back last night- backĀ home, back toĀ her- and itās in moments like these, just mere glimpses of normalcy, that makes him wonder what could have been his life, theirs, had things not happened the way they did. MK Ultra, Berlin, Solovetsky. Perseus. Then again, he supposes, if she hadnāt been shot in Trabzon that night, if she hadnāt been there at all, then he wouldnāt have known sheād even existed. This mundane moment lost to time like everything else.
She murmurs in her sleep, spurred to wakefulness when the mattress lifts and groans at his absence, her eyes squinting through the sliver of morning light bleeding through the gap in the curtains; even when sheās completely out of it, she doesnāt miss a thing. Heās never exactly been the paragon of stealth when he excels at everything else, but even if every factor in the world had worked in his favour- if the beaten mattress wasnāt so rusted, if the ancient floorboards didnāt squeal underfoot when he stood up, if there wasnāt a constant draft on his side of the room that hit her as soon as he moved- nothing would have stopped her from registering his absence, clawing to fight off sleep just so she had an excuse to grouse at him. Ever his stubborn girl.
āMmā¦ where yāgoingā¦?ā
Adler smiles to himself, flat but genuine, stifled by the lethargy that hangs over his head heavy as an anvil. Her accent so thick in the early hours it hardly sounds like English at all. Heās half tempted to reply in Russian, just to see if her cottonmouth tongue latches quicker to that instead.
But he doesnāt, just lingers in the doorway leading out to the hall, feeling only a little guilty for letting in the cold. It rather satisfies him instead to see her shiver and pull the blankets further over herself, keeping her right where he wants her. Right where he needs her, so he knows sheāll still be there when he comes back.
āSmoke,ā is all he says, rattling the crumpled pack for her to hear.
Sheās half coherent when she grumbles, English sandwiched between RussianĀ endearments. Cussing him out.
āYācan smoke in hereā¦ mādonāt mind. Come back to bed.ā
Something tugs at his heart, almost foreign, vague. Something he only feels when she digs her claws in him just like that, even if only to graze. Itās the same certainty as when he wraps his finger around a trigger, pulls a pin, wrenches his hand around the hilt of a knife- unspoken, inevitable. The drop of a guillotine, inexorably quick. A certainty that verges on frightening, a promise, which heās never been good at keeping, but knows she means wholeheartedly, down to her marrow. Possessiveness, he thinks- (is it irony, now, how often he finds her fist wrapped around the leash he doesnāt even notice heās wearing?)- people not in their line of work, those with nice houses and desk jobs and white picket fences, heās heard, call that feelingĀ belonging. To be beckoned like that. Home.
Itās her demand that he stays. Hardly a question. And Bell doesnāt beg.
Heās sure that in her spitefulness, if heād had a trigger phrase just like hers, sheād spit it at him ātil he turned heel and crawled back on over to her, slid under the sheets like an apology scrawled onto a note and tucked under the door. Itās a near enough thing- the way her bleary eyes fix on him vengefully through matted lashes, searing her betrayal into him. Every morning he gets up before her, it seems to say:Ā you left me. A petulant notion, only half serious, but one cold enough that it almost works. Frigid. Familiar. Arctic air.
It works a little at least-Ā getting soft in your old age- because he lugs himself back over to the bed and just stands by it, refusing to give her the satisfaction of quiet victory if he climbs back inside. She stretches a languid arm flat across the mattress, rolling catlike onto her stomach, splaying her fingers in the hopes that she might somehow pull him back in to her. She manages a knuckle grazing his knee, before she gives up, pulled under by sleep once more. Head slumped against the pillow, she muffles her disdain.
But Adler is nothing if not at least a little amenable. If heās sweet on anyone, itās his Bell. His baby. Hard to let a thing like that go, when she was quite literally made for him. Made by him, in his image. Scraped marrow from rib like Adam, caulking the hole Arash shot through her chest and bestowed life upon her once more. Heās happy to have a piece of himself broken off and left inside her, a tithe tossed to the slab of her altar. The fracture of his soul a discarded lamb in sacrifice, sustaining the sick hunger that starves her.
It keeps them inseparable, he thinks. Heād read something somewhere, pretentious shlock about strings of fate and those bound to it- romantic crap shmucks use to justify ugly marriages and affairs, the suffering of co-dependency given some transcendent meaning, a purpose greater than the mundane. The notion that two people, by whatever higher power, are bound to one another no matter what they do to separate themselves of it, tethered from their first breath and suffering an endless togetherness until their last. Heād rolled his eyes the first time heād heard of it- there wasnāt a world where heād be enough of a sap to actually buy into that shit. Maybe his ex-wife mightāve been fond of it, maybe it was something she wrote into one of the letters he kept under his bunk back in āNam. He doesnāt know.
But Bell made himĀ understandĀ it. Heād dug a grave in her when he denied her her own on that airstrip in Turkey, and he buried himself in it, over and over again. His memories, his life, his voice ringing like Godās. His favourite things, treasured, secret. His fears and doubts and worries, every little thing that made up the culmination of his being. It was never just Vietnam he put there. It was everything. Sheās half himself, a faded mirror image. It only makes sense that theyād find each other again, eventually. Sheād walk the earth, stalking like a bloodhound trailing his dried scent until she found him. Sheād roam the endless nights, a ghost shivering their old haunts until he meanders his way back to her again, pulled along by a gnawing ache inside himself- a missing piece heād seek the rest of his life to fill. She could track him blind. And he would feel her coming, like blood in the water. He did. He did.
Itās that tether that makes it impossible not to relent to her, when he kneels down next to the bed, knee joint cracking under his weight, the mottled floorboard doing nothing to steady him. Itās her, when she has enough leverage now to close the distance between her fingers and the collar of his shirt, curled inside the bleached cotton, fist wrenched tight. The seam digs into the back of his neck but he doesnāt let her pull him to her; he waits, making her work for it. The satisfaction that tends to follow when she does is usually worth her ingratiation.
She drags herself across the mattress, using his body as an anchor. Heavy and boneless, she lays right at the edge of the bed where he kneels, her nose nudging at his jaw as she turns, belly up like prey. Too easy a kill, he knows that. Sheās gloating. The fact heād come back at all means sheās got him right where she wants.
āCāmere,ā she murmurs gently, saccharine, cloying. Heās surprised it doesnāt make her gag- the pretend domesticity of it all. Dragging her dried lips, smiling, against the underside of his jaw, her fingers sliding idle up the back of his neck, arm slung around his shoulder like sheās expecting to be carried out.
He humours her with a smirk, his blues nearly grey in the dim dark of the room as she mouths at him, vying for his attention. Itās as much a demand as her words had been, sharp as her tone as she nips at his jaw. Adler sighs, as though turning his face to gaze down at her were something laborious, and not the blessing he counts on every finger, every day, seemingly numbered since Panama. He tuts, and it says,Ā what am I going to do with you?
But if his condescension was an attempt to dissuade her advances, it doesnāt work, because she sees right through his playful faƧade, and the wry smile that unfurls sleepy on her lips betrays her excitement, the sifting of her legs under the sheets audible as she squeezes them together.Ā Needy. She knows he notices.
āNot gonna work, Bell,ā he hums dryly. Yet he steals this moment of her surrender, his eyes flitting to every feature of her face. He doesnāt need to commit her to memory, sheās dug in there like a tick. But God, if he doesnāt like to look at her. He brings a rough hand down against her temple, smoothing the baby hairs back, eliciting a satisfied sigh from her as her eyes slip shut. Her head falls back against the pillow, anticipating a kiss he doesnāt give her.
āCāmon. Back to sleep. Iāll be ten minutes.ā
āFive.ā
āBell.ā
āFive minutes.ā
Adler sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes shut.
āCāmon,ā she croons, āfive minutesā¦ nāthenā¦ā
He thinks sheās fallen back asleep, the way her sentence carries off like that into silence. But when he opens his eyes sheās blinking prettily up at him, looking far too satisfied. Just as he opens his mouth to ask why, he feels the warm press of her hand against his knee, sliding up his thigh, fingertips tugged impishly at the sweatpants heād haphazardly thrown on. Heās lightning quick to catch her, fingers circling her wrist; where the darting action might scare a weaker person it makes Bellās eyes light up like stars, enamoured with his roughness. Excited. The way only she could be, eager pup biting at his ankles for a reaction.
āBehave,ā he scolds, giving her knuckle a cursory smack before releasing her. That must finally be enough to spoil her fun, because she huffs, growling low in her throat, and rolls back over, burrowing herself deeper into the blanket than sheād begun.
Itās always a game to her, one she doesnāt much like losing. He canāt blame her for it. Itās always been that way. Back in Berlin, heād taught her to play poker the proper way, theĀ AmericanĀ way- whatever that meant- her downfall eternally being the fact she couldnāt bluff for shit around him. And it wasĀ justĀ him- sheād caught on quick to the play, and had triumphed a couple times against Sims and Lazar; Park had refused to indulge the game, and Woods wiped the floor with the lot of them, even Adler. But with him, Bell just couldnāt lie. He was carved from marble, impassable- what heād been trained to do. And she was a piece chipped off his softest part, malleable- of course heād catch every minute twitch and wince, the flitting of wet lashes, the purse of an uncertain lip. She always told him the truth even with her eyes, her heart bore on her sleeve. It almost always felt like cheating. After all, it was what she was made for, wasnāt it?
And this felt much the same way. Not as strict as the luck of dealt hands and stifled poker faces but sheās never said or done anything to him she doesnāt mean. After he missed the shot in Solovetsky, all cards were strewn on the table. There was no mystery anymore. No joy taken in a good old fashioned backstab when the real damage was done, much too late to rectify. Maybe thatās why she makes it her personal goal to poke and prod and tease him now, chasing her fun in her own way, a decade late. Suppose itās why she hates when he doesnāt just drop the cool attitude and give in.
He rises from the floor, that same knee joint clicking again. Where she might have mumbled a curt jibe about it, sheās silent, sulking into the pillow.
But just as he goes to leave, Adler stops at the door, a foot out into the hallway, the rest of him still stuck here, stuck on her. He sees a similar image in the back of his mind, of her laid upon the gurney in Die Landebahn, halfway into the back room with a syringe in hand when for one single moment of sobriety it dawned on him, what heād been doing to her. Nothing like guilt, but it came close. Tinged with the regret of something so shameful as affection, Cupidās arrow dipped in kerosene, shot straight through his heart; to come out the other side, to let him survive, to let him have this, here, her, now. And itās a torture to have lived it, to know he doesnāt deserve a lick of it. The soft rise and fall of her breath beneath the blanket. Her hair splayed upon his pillow. She buries her nose deep in the old goose feather to try and keep him where heās left her. Hold him close even when heās gone.
The decadeās done much to him. Heād put on a couple pounds, had to start plucking the errant greys flecking his hairline, begun to wake most mornings with a tell-tale crick in his neck. Heās learned to relax that hard line in his brow, drawn too deep to reverse the evidence of age; let himself laugh a little easier, surprised people with his newfound ability to actually smile. Heās lost a lot, gained half as much. Heād been through hell and back, worse maybe than what he did to her- his karma, he supposes. And he supposes the decadeās made him soft, sentimentality creeping in to nestle somewhere he canāt reach, hidden inside himself with all the other things he doesnāt talk about. And he supposes of everything heās lost, he has Bell again, and all things considered- itās a fair trade.
He sucks in a breath, a sigh made audible for her to hear. Even as she feigns sleep, he knows she catches it, a flinch of her shoulder- where the shot he missed had landed in lieu of her head. In Solovetsky.
Then, Adler sighs, followed by a promise that feels to her like a confession.
āFive minutes.ā
And when the door clicks shut, Bell steals herself a little victory smile.
#idk what this is but i love them#this was v self indulgent and might be nonsense to everyone else bc like nothing happens but . yeah#actually left this in my notes for a couple weeks came back to finish it and forgot i wrote adler thinking 'his baby' about bell and wept#love having adhd forgetfulness sometimes bc i get hurt by my own writing like i didnt write the damn fic#i love adlerbell. a normal amount#my writing#adlerbell#adler#russell adler#adler x bell#russell adler x bell#adler x reader#russell adler x reader#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty x reader#call of duty black ops 6#call of duty cold war#call of duty black ops cold war#cod#cod bo6#cod bocw#cod cw#adbell
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