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skuttlesstrawberry · 10 months ago

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Sometimes Brennan’s degree in religious studies shines through in an awe-inspiring way. Take, for example, the Temple of the Fallen Sun from episode 17 of Fantasy High Junior Year: it is explicitly an imperial temple. Now, the obvious level is that its symbols are all about conquest, but on a deeper level, its very nature is an imperial conquest.

The reveal, towards the end of the Bad Kids’ time in the temple, that the Sunstone Empire did not originally build this place is also a reflection of the imperial project. It took a faith that was life-giving for its people and twisted it into something foul, something that in D&D was explicitly infernal, but it could not completely erase the underlying divinity. At the end, they could not remove the underlying uncorrupted temple infrastructure; at the end, they could not twist Ankarna’s core nature so much that she would be willing to kill her sister or her spouse. The imperial faith of conquest can take over a religion, Brennan seems to be telling us, but it cannot fully transform the spark of divinity at the core of the original faith.

So let’s now talk about Spyre’s Church of Sol.

Maybe it wasn’t planned that way, but the longer the Fantasy High saga goes on, the more clear it seems to me that the Church of Sol is in many ways the greater scope villain of the Bad Kids’ tale. For Junior Year, it’s not just that complete slimebag Bobby Dawn, the Church of Sol’s resident celebrity cleric, is actively onside with Porter’s plan to ascend to godhood; it’s also that in the Temple of the Fallen Sun, the Legend Lore spell told us that it was the Church of Sol who planted the idea with the Sunstones of transforming their god from a sun god to a god of war and conquest!

Note, importantly, that it is the Church of Sol and not Sol himself who planted this idea. Legend Lore told us that, actually, Sol himself was HAPPY with (re)uniting the various groups of Spyre’s gods into one community. Rather, it was Sol’s church that noticed their God’s domain was divided and decided to do something about it. Recall, also, that it was the Church of Sol that innovated Devil’s Nectar; it’s entirely possible that Sol was deliberately kept out of the loop when it came to the church’s plans to make him into the One True Sun God.

Now, we also know that there’s a kind of henotheistic trinity-like thing going on with Sol, Gallicaea, and Helio. There’s some sort of family thing going on with Sol as the top Father God and Helio as the Crystal Dragon Jesus son with the serial numbers filed off; witness the decidedly evangelical Christianity flavor of their related churches. There’s also the whole vibe from both the Church of Sol and Helio’s followers that their gods are the only correct deities to follow and any other faith (or way of life) is Dangerously Wrong. This plays directly into the way that they really kicked off the chaos of Freshman Year and therefore the Bad Kids saga.

Yeah, Kalvaxus was the big bad of Freshman Year, but he and his direct minions weren’t the first enemies that the Bad Kids fought. That would be Doreen and the Corn Cuties, who were themselves borne of the attempt by Coach Daybreak and the Harvestmen cult to corrupt their own faith’s chosen and break the world.

This is actually deeply important: while Kristen’s parents are assholes and directly tied to a doomsday cult version of Helioic faith, there’s always been an implication that beyond the Harvestmen there’s a healthier version of the church of Helio that we haven’t really been able to interact with. And that’s okay: even a healthier version of Helio probably wouldn’t have been healthy for Kristen, given the extent of religious trauma she’s had to deal with, so it makes sense that even in Freshman year Kristen was being offered by Heaven itself alternate ways to have faith.

In Sophomore Year, we got a glimpse of the conflict within Gallican faith, with Tracker discovering in Fallinel a more oppressive and passive version of her faith, and choosing essentially to stay behind to try and breathe new life into it. Importantly, we learned Fallinel Gallicaea has a relationship with Sol, and so their churches are intertwined; Brennan even talked in Sophomore Year about how Gallicaea in Fallinel was being shaped by her State Church followers there. It was that twisted Gallican church that duped Cassandra’s original followers into forcing her transformation into the Nightmare King, you may recall.

What this all seems to be pointing to is the existence of an organization entwined with the Church of Sol that discovered Devil’s Nectar and a way to twist divinity to their ends by manipulating followers into the shapes most suiting their ends. We know from Pok Gukgak’s cautious statements that even the celestial-level actors have some side eye for Sol’s supposed followers. We know from Bakur that there’s an open question as to whether Sol or his followers are REALLY calling the shots. So: if Sol’s followers have their own plans, what’s their goal in all this corruptive influence that they’ve been spreading around?

Now, here’s where we circle back around to Brennan’s knowledge of how real world religions and real world people work: the goal may simply be power and domination. In the real world, the connection between the State and some sort of organized Church power has always been a place where power and control could be minted. A cornerstone of the Roman Empire’s system of control was the idea of the Imperial Cult: you can absolutely continue worshipping your personal god as long as you also acknowledge that god’s place is subservient in the larger Roman order to Rome’s chosen divinity. On the other side of the world, China’s system emphasized having the Mandate of Heaven in order to rule; even their top divinity the August Personage of Jade would lose his job if he did not stay within the rules of the system.

In short: a group of folks who’ve figured out how to manipulate faith to make their positions indisputably Right are very dangerous in any world, and Brennan is absolutely correct to cast them as the villains behind the scenes manipulating everything.

#dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high theory #in conclusion fuck Bobby Dawn he needs to die

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alastor-simp · 1 year ago

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First Years with a reader who sings like the Japanese singer "Ado"

Thank you @fightmeucowardlmao for the suggestion of doing the First years for the Ado reader. Enjoy everyone :)

Ace Trapolla🍒

🍒Ace reaction was literally the shocked pikachu face when he found out that you were a singer. This whole time he has been friends with you since you first arrived to this world, and he find out NOW THAT YOU WERE A FAMOUS SINGER?!??

🍒He was a little bratty with you that you didn't tell him at first, but he got calm down after a while. You thought he was annoying at first, but he turns it up a notch to a whole other level with you as he's going to be popping up all the time whenever you are recording a song. He will literally be in the corner of the room, making silly faces at you to make you laugh or doing random card tricks to distract you.

🍒Despite that, he will be a bit more supportive and make sure you are good after a session or event since he can imagine being a very popular singer will come with problems and stressed. Expect to find a lot of notes with silly/sweet writings on them, along with some cherry flavored candies to help soothe your vocal cords.

🍒Your voice constantly plagues his mind now wherever he goes. He spends more of his time listening to your songs in class and during basketball practice then actually paying attention (but lets be honest, Ace isn't paying attention to ANYTHING in class).

🍒His favorite song of yours is a cover that you did called "Overdose" , he enjoys the beat of the song. He gets that the song is about a toxic/additive behaviors of a relationship, but that's not gonna stop him from enjoying the song.

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Deuce Spade♠️

♠️It was actually accidental when Deuce discovered your talent. You were in your dorm room, hitting a high note as you were recording one of your songs until you heard the door open and saw Deuce standing there, like a dear in headlights. The both of you just stared at each other, until Deuce snapped out of it and ran out of your room yelling "SORRY".

♠️He did come back after a while and kept apologizing for disturbing you, but you said it was fine. He shyly said your singing was beautiful and you smiled and thanked him. You both chatted a bit more and he then discovered that not only did you sing very well, but that you were a very famous singer.

♠️Deuce already thought you were amazing to begin with, and now that he just discovered your singing talent, he basically idolized you. He couldn't get over how different you were when you sang, it almost reminded him in a way as he had two sides to himself (his honor student side and his delinquent side).

♠️This boy was basically a cute bodyguard for you, he would always be there to make sure you were doing well and making you some dishes that his mom always made for him, but he would also be very protective of you if a big fan ran up to you and started talking to you.

♠️His favorite song of yours is "Show", He loves seeing confidence that you display when you sing this song. Not only that but he loves the main message of the song is just being yourself and stepping into the spotlight

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Jack Howl🐺

🐺Jack realized right away there was more to you that meets the eye, especially after Leona's overblot. He observed how kind and naive you were, but very strong-willed, and he respected that. Jack discovered your singing during one of his morning runs, as his ears twitched upon hearing the sound of someone singing.

🐺He scouted for where the sound was coming from, and he saw you leaning against one of the trees, with a pad + pen out, humming to yourself. Shocked was the first emotion that Jack felt when he discovered that sound was coming from you, as he had no idea that you could sing, and so beautifully at that.

🐺You heard the sound of swishing next to you as you looked up and saw that Jack was a few feet away from you with a surprised look, and his tail wagging like crazy. Smiling, you greeted him and ask if he was okay cause his tail was moving quite rapidly. Jack jumped and immediately, grabbed his tail to stop it from moving, saying it was nothing, but also looking away from you, saying that you sang really well, with a flushed face.

🐺After telling him that you were a very popular singer, Jack became more interested in your talent. He usually wasn't very interested in things other then sports or working out, but you were beginning to change his mind. Your music videos were very well animated and your voice range was insane.

🐺He would always check up on you whenever he saw you, making sure you were healthy and not straining your voice too much. He may seem like a tough guy, but his tail would always betray him whenever he saw you. His favorite song of yours " Ashura-chan", he liked how powerful your voice was in the song and how the song was about breaking free.

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Epel Felmier🍎

🍎Epel could only described your singing with one word, BADASS! He was not expecting you to have such an amazing voice, and not only could you sing really well, but you could hit many different genres with your voice.

🍎Epel thought you were just a cute and delicate gal, like many people thought he was, but when he discovered your singing, you proved him dead wrong. He saw how wild and full of life you were when you singed, which he kinda envied since he couldn't be like that because of his dorm. He could sing too, but he wasn't as good as Vil or you, so he wouldn't mind learning some singing tips from you.

🍎He wonder why you didn't show your face in the music videos or concerts that you held. It worried him that it was probably a self-esteem thing, but you told him that it was what made you comfortable, so he left it alone.

🍎You offered him backstage concert tickets for your show, so he could enjoy them as well as not being noticed by someone he knew from his dorm or rook for that matter. Your concerts were the best as it was the only time he could be his true self and rock out to your songs.

🍎Epel would send you yummy apple treats + warm apple cider for you as little acts of kindness and to also check in on you since last thing he wanted was your wind pipes to be sore from performing. His favorite song of yours is "FREEDOM", he liked how it was about embracing your true self and breaking out from what people expected out of you.

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Sebek Zigvolt⚡️

⚡️Hmph, Sebek wasn't really impressed with a meager human like you. He still couldn't fathom how you were still at this school, despite having no magic whatsoever, but he had seen how determined you were with certain things and also noticed how Malleus would brighten up whenever he saw you, so he suppose he could tolerate you, as long as you didn't cause trouble for the Young Master.

⚡️He discovered your singing talent when he arrived to your dorm, to return a book you had lent to him, only to hear the sounds of the shower running and you singing coming from the bathroom, and it left him stunned. Once you left the bathroom, you were surprised to see Sebek standing in the middle of your room, with shining eyes like he just found the most amazing thing ever.

⚡️Sebek ran towards you and lifted you up in the air, with a huge smile on his face. "HUMAN!! YOU DID NOT TELL ME YOU COULD SING SO WELL. I'M A THOROUGHLY IMPRESSED. OH YOU MUST SING FOR THE YOUNG MASTER WHEN IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY. IT WILL BRING HIM MUCH JOY!" After about a few minutes of him yelling in excitement and shaking you, you told him if it was possible to put you down, which he did with a red faced as he realized he probably made you a bit uncomfortable.

⚡️You told Sebek that you were happy he liked your singing so much, and that you wouldn't mind singing for Malleus for his birthday and that you could also sing one for his birthday if he wanted. Sebek widen his eyes at that as he didn't think you would sing for him as well, and he looked away, red faced saying he would enjoy that in a soft tone that shocked you as you expected him to yell that out.

⚡️Sebek later found out that you were a famous singer from your world and that you had music videos that he could watch if he wanted. Sebek wasn't into the arts/technology all that much as he was more fond of magic and strength, but he would feel it would be rude to if he didn't, so he decided to try it out.

⚡️Sebek later went from being a slight acquaintance to your biggest supporter. He would often leave very long comments in all caps on your music video showing his support, which made you smile, and he would arrive to your dorm whenever he had time to see how you were and not to push yourself since you were still human and didn't want suffering from an ailment.

⚡️His favorite song of yours is the cover of "Senbonzakura". He found the lyrics to be very beautiful and how it was about war and revolution.

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(art credit to kaaaa369 on danbooru)

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see-arcane · 1 year ago

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Oof augh argh my heart

Once again @re-dracula is proving to be THE only Dracula adaptation to do this story and its characters justice

The horror-sting in discovering not only that Dracula is trying to erase his tracks, but that it now has a body count (RIP to his agent)

The exuberance of Mina in Isabel Adomakoh Young's voice as she marches head-on into connecting the vital dots to realize where Dracula is and how to track him--and the ultimate chokehold on her courage and love as she must ultimately part ways with Jonathan for the final rush of the chase

The lacing of audio-action under Van Helsing's dialogue as he dishes out his last group-rousing speech where they're all together

The sharper dramatic tone under Jonathan's words as Ben Galpin finally, finally gets to give full heart-tearing voice to that brief but electric rant at--with biting emphasis--Professor van Helsing--about the danger he means to drag Mina into unexcused and unexplained, hammering home the reminder of what all there is to worry for in the future...

On the heels of that, Galpin and the soundscape design managed to bring new ominous life into something I had previously only half-noticed before:

"Do as you will," said Jonathan, with a sob that shook him all over, "we are in the hands of God!"

[...]

My only comfort is that we are in the hands of God. Only for that faith it would be easier to die than to live, and so be quit of all the trouble.

I never thought of those lines being delivered with such a subtle but disquieting pitch of despair rather than hope. As if the speaker very much does have faith in God, but he only knows so from God's proven fallibility--and knows that same fickle Power is the one carelessly juggling all their fates.

And that ending handful of lines, delivered with such a quiet crushing weight of the eerie:

It is a wild adventure we are on. Here, as we are rushing along through the darkness, with the cold from the river seeming to rise up and strike us; with all the mysterious voices of the night around us, it all comes home. We seem to be drifting into unknown places and unknown ways; into a whole world of dark and dreadful things. Godalming is shutting the furnace door....

The way it's directed, the way it's voiced, the way it's all couched in the sort of cinematic beat of hush before the characters walk blindfolded into some fresh Hell, it all seems to turn over some mental stone in my head to reveal I've been walking past gold with each re-read of the novel.

Just

wow

Wow wow wow this podcast

It makes such a difference. There's so much more flavor and so many more facets in how Re: Dracula delivers the story beyond any mere audiobook, and worlds beyond any adaptation I've ever sat through. A million thank yous to the cast and crew.

Gonna go re-listen again

#so yeah I liked this episode a bit #a smidge #dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily

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acourtofmishapandmistakes · 10 months ago

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Cravings of the Night Court

Feyre x Rhysand - Pregnancy Fic

Note: this is taking place in a world where Feyre has no issue delivering Illyrian children so there is not drama of Rhys keeping the secret from her. Just general pregnancy fluff that I wished SJM had given us in the book.

Summary: Feyre is nine months into her pregnancy with Nyx and is finding sleeping an entire night without one snack break isn't doable anymore. This is a one shot story of some Feysand pregnancy fluff.

Content Warning: Pregnancy

Rhys awoke with a jolt, his eyes snapping open. He patted the expanse of the bed with an urgency, discovering only the cool, untouched sheets where his mate should have been. Sitting up, he squinted into the shrouded darkness. No sign of her. With a groggy hand, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and cast off the tangled sheets. Clad in just his pajama pants, he stretched, his joints popping softly in the quiet, and ambled out of the room. His feet knew the familiar path down the stairs of the River House, guided by instinct and the faint but growing cacophony from the kitchen.

As he rounded the hallway's corner, he was met with the soft banging of cabinet doors. There was Feyre, perched like a mischievous sprite on the kitchen counter, demolishing an impressive pile of bread and butter. Oblivious to his arrival, she was blissfully ensnared in her indulgence. Rhys paused at the doorway, admiring the charming picture she made. Her hair, usually wild and untamed at night, was now pulled into a carefree braid, and she wore a silk nightgown that flirted just below her hips. Her legs, creamy and luminous in the dim light, swung gently from the counter's edge. She attacked another slice, buttering it generously before it disappeared into her eager mouth.

“Feyre Darling,” Rhys announced with a gentle tease in his voice. Feyre continued chewing, a soft smile blooming on her lips as she looked up at him.

“Babe was hungry,” she murmured, the words muffled by bread, before taking another enthusiastic bite.

Rhys couldn't help but chuckle as he pushed off from the doorframe, striding across the kitchen to lean beside her. He crossed his arms, a smug smile playing on his lips.

Feyre peered up at him, a coy glint in her eye, as she licked a stray smear of butter from her finger. “What?” she asked innocently.

“So last night was peanut butter and jelly, tonight we’re onto straight butter?” Rhys teased, thumbing a dollop of butter from the corner of her mouth.

Feyre licked her lips, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’m not just eating spoonfuls of butter,” she gestured to the barely visible bread under the thick layer of butter, “there’s also bread.”

Rhys laughed softly, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on her forehead. “Do you want water? Tea?” he offered.

At her nod, he fetched a large glass, filling it to the brim with water from the tap, even tossing in an ice cube for good measure before handing it to her. Feyre drank deeply, her eyes closing in appreciation. Meanwhile, Rhys buttered a slice of bread for himself and took a hearty bite.

"It's good, isn't it?" Feyre asked, her eyes twinkling as she gestured towards the bread Rhys was nibbling on.

"It's certainly bread and butter," Rhys replied with a playful smile, taking another satisfied bite.

Feyre smirked at him before devouring another piece. "But like, it’s the best bread and butter in the whole world," she declared, almost moaning at the flavor.

Rhys chuckled softly and placed a gentle hand on her swollen belly, feeling the life within stir. "I think right now, to you, this probably does taste extra delicious," he said, his hand moving soothingly over her.

Feyre glanced down at her belly, still chewing thoughtfully. "He’s been particularly active tonight," she observed. "He insisted we have this snack, or there would be no sleep for us."

"Well, who are we to argue with the heir of the Night Court?" Rhys teased lightly, pulling his hand back with a grin.

“He’s already as demanding and pushy as his father,” Feyre noted with a mischievous glance up at Rhys.

She reached for another slice of bread. Rhys, curious, asked, “How long have you been awake?”

“Maybe half an hour,” she replied after a quick glance at the kitchen clock.

“Have you been eating bread this whole time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, are you suggesting I shouldn't eat what I want, when I want?” Feyre teased, her hands protectively over her belly, emphasizing her pregnancy.

“Of course not, my love,” Rhys assured, his voice laced with affection. “I just wonder if there’ll be any bread left for breakfast.”

“There will be plenty,” she laughed.

Rhys smiled and moved closer to Feyre, who turned towards him, wrapping her legs around his hips. He pulled her close, resting his chin on the crown of her head and breathing in the scent of her hair. “One more month,” he whispered softly.

Feyre let out a small groan. “Just one more month to go,” she murmured, pressing her head into his chest. “No more vomiting, no more back pain, no more swollen feet and ankles,” Feyre mused, a hopeful note in her voice.

“It’ll just be the vomiting of a newborn and the back pain of carrying him, but you’re right, you most likely won’t have swollen ankles,” Rhys countered with a gentle teasing in his tone.

“At least I can hand some of that off to you,” Feyre replied, tightening her arms around Rhys.

Rhys responded with another kiss planted in her hair, inhaling deeply; her scent had become more intoxicating to him since her pregnancy began. It was almost maddening.

Feyre craned her head back to meet his gaze, their noses nearly touching as she rested her chin on his chest. “Hi,” she whispered softly.

“Hi,” Rhys chuckled back, his voice a low murmur vibrating from his chest, before his lips met hers in a tender, lingering kiss. As they kissed, Rhys’s hand cradled the back of her head, the other pressing gently against the small of her back. Feyre’s arms relaxed, her hands finding a casual rest on Rhys’s hips. When they finally pulled apart, Feyre kept her eyes closed a moment longer as Rhys planted a soft kiss on her nose.

“Are you done with your snack?” Rhys asked gently.

Feyre groaned softly and leaned her head back against his chest. “I guess,” she replied, though her tone suggested reluctance.

“You don’t have to be,” he offered.

“No, I shouldn’t have anymore. I already ate one of the loaves Elain baked earlier,” Feyre confessed.

Rhys tried not to look disappointed. “The cranberry loaf?”

She nodded against him, and Rhys managed a tight smile while rubbing her back soothingly. He had been looking forward to that loaf, having smelled it baking all afternoon. Still, for his pregnant mate, he was more than willing to forfeit his treat.

“Alright, my darling, let’s get you back to bed,” he said, tidying up the kitchen by shutting the bread box and butter container. Sliding his hands under her knees, he gently lifted Feyre from the counter. She clung to his neck as he carried her up the stairs to their bedroom.

Before they reached the bed, Feyre’s voice was soft against his neck, “Wait.”

“What?” Rhys paused in his tracks.

“Gotta pee.”

Rhys sighed but smiled, dutifully carrying her to the adjoining bathroom and setting her down gently before retreating to the allure of sleep. Moments later, Feyre emerged from the bathroom, pulling her hair over one shoulder as she approached the bed. She briskly pulled back the sheets Rhys had just cozily arranged over himself, and slid in next to him.

Rhys felt a tug at the pillow under his head as it was promptly commandeered. His head hit the mattress, and he opened one eye to watch Feyre expertly arrange her six-pillow fortress. She punched a dent into one, then placed the stolen pillow behind her head, settling in with a deep, contented sigh. She then pulled the blankets over herself, leaving Rhys uncovered feeling the cold breeze nip at his bare skin.

Instead of reclaiming his share of the blankets, Rhys simply rolled toward the edge of the bed and reached under his bedside table. He pulled out one of the many throw blankets he kept stashed there, a contingency for nights just like this. Spreading it over himself, he settled his head on his bicep and began drifting toward sleep.

"Rhys," Feyre's voice was a gentle whisper in the quiet room.

With his eyes still closed, Rhys murmured a sleepy "Hm?"

"I'm thirsty," she whispered again.

Rhys let out a soft groan as he shifted beneath his blanket. "Do you want water?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," she responded softly.

Sighing, Rhys slid the blanket off and placed it purposefully on the floor—out of Feyre's reach—before padding out of the room to fetch her water cup. Meanwhile, Feyre snuggled deeper into her elaborate pillow fortress, her hand absently caressing her rounded belly, humming softly as she felt a series of gentle kicks in response. A smile spread across her face as her eyelids fluttered shut.

When Rhys returned, a glass of water in hand, he found Feyre sound asleep, her body surrounded and supported by what resembled an armchair made of pillows. He couldn't help but smile tenderly at the sight. Setting the water on the bedside table, he gently brushed her hair back from her face and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

Rhys then crawled back into bed, retrieving his earlier discarded throw blanket and grabbing another to fashion into a makeshift pillow. He settled down beside Feyre, placing one hand gently on her stomach, feeling the reassuring kicks of their unborn child. Content, Rhys closed his eyes, a quiet peace enveloping him as he joined Feyre in sleep.

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wisteria-lodge · 4 months ago

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*slightly* exploded bird primary (badger-flavored system) (unhealthy badger primary model) + rapid-fire/actor bird secondary

Hi Wisteria! I’ve been loving your thoughtful and in-depth analyses and no one else in my life is familiar with the SHC system, so it’s been hard to get some outside perspective. English is not my first language, so please forgive my grammar/awkward phrasing at times. For my sorting, I am thinking Bird primary, though I’ve considered Lion and Badger primaries. I think I am not a snake primary. I have never felt there was an intrinsic moral hierarchy when it comes to people I care about. I still care for them, but at the end of the day, I think we are all living conscious beings who deserve equal treatment, rights, and consideration.

Definitely getting Idealist primary here (Bird or Lion, and I see why you're thinking Bird. Your whole position is well-thought out and well articulated.) I will say that 'all living conscious beings deserve equal treatment' is kind of the Badger mission statement,' but when we're in generalities that big, that thought could just as easily be coming from a Bird with some Badger in their System, a Paragon Lion, or even a really expansive Snake.

I also think prioritizing your own group is often dangerous.

This bit here could describe a Snake or a Badger equally well, depending on how we're defining the "group" we're talking about here.

A Loyalist would probably say that protecting the group is the only thing you know for sure you can do well, and when things get too big and Idealistic, they become unreal, hypothetical, and unsafe. But you seem perfectly fine with that level of big-picture stuff, so I'm happy to say Idealist for you. Also, there's an undercurrent of... suspicion, directed at Loyalists.

I guess I could be a snake that only includes themselves, as I do act in self-preservation a lot of the times

That's a human thing. If someone is *struggling* with turning on the self-preservation, that's a problem, and probably a sign of Burning, or a very immature Badger.

and struggle to trust people.

That can also come from a lot of different places.

I sometimes have an attitude of turning people bad in my head as soon as they act against me, or in a way that reveals their “true character”

Honestly, this kind of sounds like it could be a *Badger* thing?

Because Badgers have opt-out morality, they will often do this thing where you're one of their people, until you break the rules (or the social contract) badly enough. And then you're out, because you're a threat to the rest of the group.

(this is often a projection) and then tend to self-isolate.

Hmmm. And now you're back to being philosophical. Distancing yourself from the emotion of cutting people off. Much more Bird.

I thought bird primary because I do change my ideas about the world and morality quite often and refine my worldview as I discover new ideas. I am also very receptive to scientific ideas and do put logic and reasoned morality above intuition.

You also seem very chill about this whole process, which makes me say Bird again. (Not Lion. The process just tends to be a lot messier and a lot more emotional with Lions.)

However, my tendency to prioritize the perceptions of the group, my need to serve a larger purpose and my desire to be useful to society do feel quite badger-y.

They do. "Prioritize the perceptions of the group," especially is a very Badger thing to say. Badgers also like being useful to the group. But 'need to serve a larger purpose' is a big enough statement that it could work for almost anyone.

What Badger and Bird have in common is that they're both External primaries. What the world thinks is important, and you care about that in a way that Lions and Snakes just kind of don't.

As for lion, I do often act based on heuristics, especially if I haven’t thought out a specific issue yet.

Yeah, this isn't lion. For one thing - you used the word "heuristics." For another, you're stressing about the way you only rely on these "well xyz worked in past" mental shortcuts when you haven't "thought a thought out a specific issue yet." Implication being that, in a perfect world, you would have time to think it out completely every time. (Birds hate having to make snap decisions.)

I can also pretend to be more rational than I am, and tend to live life in automatic mode, by relying on assumptions and facts that sound good. I think I do this less than other people, but that is still a flaw I’ve noticed.

You rely on these "automatic" shortcuts less than other people, but think that you should use them less, and feel bad that you use them at all.

I wonder if you're a Bird primary living in a very Badger community. Or the flip, a Badger living with a bunch of Birds.

As for my secondary, I am a little bit lost. I am very much in my own head and not very action-oriented, so I feel like I lack the data to identify my secondary, or I am burned and just using whatever works. I usually just use stress to motivate action and procrastinate until the last minute.

Oh, the neurodivergent special. Save the non-preferred task for the last minute, and then use the adrenaline that generates to hack your brain into getting it done really fast. Definitely not the only person here doing that.

Childhood: As a kid, I was extremely quiet, sensitive, and introverted. From early on, I remember being very artistic and curious. I would dress up and improvise plays in front of my family. I also loved to draw, write poems, walk in nature, and learn about the world (I was especially fascinated with animals). I also loved to get lost in imaginary worlds, and I remember writing fantasy stories, and believing I had magical powers or was an alien/magical creature.

When I was in school, I remember not connecting very well with my peers. I think people could feel I was different. I was soft spoken, sensitive, and I excelled at school.

I mean so far, *I*could have written this. And I'll take it all into account, but this isn't a system for describing personality, so much as it is one for describing method/motivation.

I didn’t like sports like other boys, and it wasn’t acceptable to hang out with girls, so I just kept to myself. I was already doing good in school, so I just kind of developed that aspect of my identity. I didn’t get along with many other kids and ate lunch with my teachers a lot. I still had friends, but few of them were close.

You're describing constructing your identity in a very deliberate, conscious way, which is more Bird than Badger. It's honestly Bird secondary - like this how you get Actor Bird, deliberately developing one 'version' of yourself because it's useful in certain situation. I'm hearing you enjoyed acting and costumes, and (flash forward to present day) you "pretended" to be more rational than you are. I think you might be an Actor Bird.

It was validating to be so good at academics, and to get teachers’ and parents’ approval. Even if some other kids resented it, I didn’t care because it gave me worth.

This hits every child to some degree, but it hits External primaries very hard. This could describe a young Bird or a young Badger equally well, and now I'm wondering if any of these authority figures especially Birdy or especially Badgery?

Getting good grades, being the perfect child, being “mature for my age” were a big part of my personality.

"Perfect Child" is often an Actor Bird construction. "Mature for your age" is something I usually hear said about young Badgers. Are you maybe a Bird primary, with a very Badger-flavored System? It would fit everything I've read so far.

I also knew deep down I was queer

oh thats brutal

but I eventually became really good at self-editing, and I began to embody a version of me that was acceptable. I was the successful, responsible, smart kid, and I eventually started playing football in high school so that of course meant I was straight. I fully made myself believe the mask I was putting on at that time (badger-like?). In high school, I was tired of being an outsider, so I tried fitting in. I became much more agreeable, sociable, and started becoming more popular. Honestly, it felt good to be appreciated by my peers, and I did play into the character I was projecting. I was still hyper-focused on academics, but for the first time, people actually liked me.

Okay, so I do see why you're saying Badger. Badgers (especially young badgers) can just adopt the group's identity, and lose sight of their own individuality in the process. But I don't think that's what's going on here.

To me, this sounds like it could only be Actor Bird. I know English isn't your first language, so I'm not reading too too much into the word choice... but you do refer to this "Acceptable Self" as a "character," that you "embody." Building this "mask" was a deliberate, conscious process, and it sound like you lived in this persona for a while. Also, not ignoring the fact that... it worked. Wanting to be more popular, and then building a persona that is more popular... that's not something everyone can do.

This actually makes me think of a sorting I wrote for Blackbeard of Our Flag Means Death, and the Actor Bird-specific angst of building a character, spending a little too long in that skin and then feeling that people only like you/you only have worth because of a role you play... and then becoming trapped, because your character is too simple, and it's stifling.

I eventually came to accept my sexuality and had a friendship that made me confront the lack of authenticity of the mask I was putting on. After that, I explored my authentic self while still enjoying my newfound social skills and ability to attract people.

I love that. You built a "popular" persona, and then realized that you din't have to wear it all the time.

I also started getting interested in social justice, philosophy, and politics, which made me question a lot of preconceived notions and ideas I held true about the world.

Oh that's a very Bird primary list of interests right there.

As I became more informed, ethics and morality became a big corner stone of my interactions with the world. I was always interested in finding the “right” way to be, even as a child,

This almost seems like a version of the "book fantasy," which is something I've heard from several Bird primaries at this point: "When I was younger, I wished that there was a magic book that would tell me the 'right' way to act in every situation."

but this meant I could figure out what that meant in more objective terms, and for myself instead of what adults thought. Paradigm shifts were exciting (and still are).

I absolutely love that for you. Bravo.

Family dynamics:

In terms of family dynamics, I always went along to get along. I was checked out emotionally, especially since a lot of family members would say homophobic things, and I never felt completely comfortable with them. I stuck with easy topics and didn’t go into my personal life, and I was content with the image of the golden child they had of me. Even with my parents, whom I love, I never felt I could completely be myself. This led to a lot of secrets and lies to conceal my real self. I was never that rebellious or troublesome to begin with, and I kind of acted like a little adult.

Okay. That makes sense. Sounds like you built a pretty robust Badger primary model that was useful for keeping the peace with your family. (It also sounds just, incredibly necessary.) This explains why a lot of your descriptions of your younger self read as super Badger primary to me: "little adult" "mature for your age" "farming the approval of authority figure."

I also thought a lot of their views were outdated, although I rarely argued with them. My dad had the idea he had to be strict, which was just not the best fit for me. I learned to be extremely secretive, sneaky, and find ways around the rules. I was not very wild to begin with, but I did value my freedom. I just kind of passively agreed, and then did it behind their backs.

Sounds possible you might have a little bit of a snake secondary model?

Although my dad was very sensitive and affectionate, a thing that hurt me a lot was his inability to deal with others’ emotions. I was not allowed to express negative emotions or cry, and he justified this as him being “old school”.

Ah yes. As we know, boys should only have Cool emotions, like Anger and Science. Wondering if your *Dad* might be a Badger primary, with this focus on Tradition and Rules.

This was extremely frustrating to me, as I never understood how tradition could be a valuable reason for anything, or how sticking with old values and refusing to adapt was acceptable.

A little bit of that Bird primary 'make it make sense' thing.

My mom, though more accepting of my sensitivity, was also very critical. She used the status quo to judge what I did, which was also very frustrating. If something I did was weird or impolite, she would use a kind of circular reasoning (this is bad because it’s not socially acceptable, and it’s not socially acceptable because it’s bad), which was also confusing to me.

I love that you can now identify that as classic circular reasoning.

I just wasn’t super interested in developing a strong connection with anyone in my family. I just felt that it was all too arbitrary,

Definitely don't think you're a Loyalist, because I don't think a Loyalist could do a break this clean. There'd be some sense of something... some guilt, some emotion, some residual thing.

and I was more interested in exploring my friendships with people who understood me more deeply. I felt my parents’ (especially dad’s) rules didn’t make any sense, and I wanted my freedom as soon as possible. Since I moved out, our relationship has been a lot better, though I still hide aspects of my life from them.

Very true that just not needing to be around your family 24/27 makes things so much better and easier to deal with.

Problem solving: In terms of problem solving, I like to think I am strategic, and a good contingency planner. I generally understand things well, and how they work together, and am quick to find a solution. When thinking about solving a small problem, I will usually think of the “goal state” first (i.e., what is the ideal I am trying to achieve in this situation). Then I can break down what I need to do. This usually starts with evaluating resources at my disposal (i.e., time, space, material, or mental resources), and what is in the environment. Then, I can come to a solution implicitly by connecting the dots. Finally, I will mentally play out the situation and see if it works, or if there are any roadblocks. This all happens quickly though. Planning is fun, but so is throwing away the plan or finding a clever way to get out of the situation.

What a fantastic breakdown of how to solve a problem. It's also extremely Bird secondary. If it happens fast enough, and you're comfortable enough with it, it looks like it even gets into Rapid-Fire Bird territory (probably why I was getting a little Snake secondary energy up there, Rapid-fire birds can look extremely Snake.)

Am a little bit side-eyeing your decision to call yourself "not very action-oriented" up there. You seem perfectly comfortable with problem-solving to me.

Whenever the unexpected happen, the path becomes really obvious to me. Priorities become salient, and things that are useless fall to the side. It’s more in situations where I’m forced to make a controlled decision that I’m a nervous and indecisive wreck.

Bird primaries HATE making snap decisions.

I can get stressed out if there is missing information, or if the expectations aren’t clear. Travel is especially stressful because of the number of unexpected events that can affect the rest of the trip.

I mean, no one likes missing information or unclear expectations. But it really gets to Birds. (Both primary and secondary honestly. and I'm really thinking that you're a Double Bird.)

With all the information, even if it’s bad news, I can manage and find a solution. But my brain will keep spinning scenarios if I don’t know for sure. Even at school, uncertainty was always worse than bad news.

I hear this. It really goes back to that classic Bird primary fantasy: "but I want to know EVERYTHING"

Not knowing where I stand with someone, with a group, or with a supervisor also makes me nervous. I like knowing what they think of me and what people need from me so I can provide it (or not bother if they dislike me for no reason).

I do think that you have a Badger model, or a Badger flavor to your system. Honestly, you very likely have bOTH. You took in the parts of your parents worldview that made sense to you: it IS useful to know what people want from you, and to know that you aren't making any social faux pas (that way, if someone is acting weird at you, you know it doesn't have to do with you.) But you also have this much more performative Badger model: this is who my parents expect me to be, I don't agree with it, but I can put it on and let it run.

In terms of interpersonal problems, this is where I am most terrible. I am often an absolute doormat and will not vocalize problems and internalize everything. My issue is that I don’t feel confident that I am right and doubt my ability to argue my point and stand up for myself without absolutely ruining the relationship.

Unfortunately, I can't say I'm *surprised,* since you grew up in an environment where arguing was very frowned upon, and it's not like you can win an argument with someone depending on circular arguments and logical fallacies.

You also built a large part of your *identity* around this Perfect Child, Invisible Badger who just does not cause problems. In the language of this system, you built a very intense Badger primary model as a coping mechanism, and now it's run out it's usefulness... but is still hard to punch through, because old models get sticky.

If something bothers me, I will mull over it and eventually let it go because it becomes too late.

Okay, *this* is why you thought there might be some Burning going on. There's this aspect of the way you relate to people that just feels very unsafe, and so you... shut it down.

I think the problems here are uncertainty, and lack of control. When I am in a situation where I know all the elements, have resources, and plenty of time, I am good.

That is absolutely Textbook Double Bird. But (as I'm sure I don't have to tell you)... it's also a fantasy. Very often, you will be lacking in either resources, info, or time. This is why a lot of Double Birds build models, or look like Lion secondaries whenever they don't have time to prep.

If there is an unknown, I can’t do anything.

In the language of this system, that's a Bird primary that's Exploded a little bit, this idea that you can't possibly act if you don't have all the information. It's very Chidi from The Good Place.

In social situations, I can’t control the volatility of relationships or other people, so I just control my reaction.

Pretty much all you can control, so good.

Often, instead of doing something when something is bothering me, I will basically force a paradigm shift to see the situation in a better light, and then move on.

Bird primaries are known for the superpower of just being able to *decide* to like something, or *decide* to be interested in something. That is absolutely what you're doing here. It's *a* way to solve that problem, I guess. But it doesn't seem to make you feel free/powerful.

I kind of have an addiction with the process of solving, and an intolerance for doubt. When I was questioning my career choices, I would reflect on all aspects of my personality, of my goals for the future, I would take endless career quizzes, read the descriptions of jobs over and over, would ask my friends what they thought I should do, etc. I would run in circles, never deciding. I even started deconstructing the philosophy of work, to determine if it was even possible to make a good decision.

Very Bird. Very *exploded* Bird. Of course you went from "what job do I want" to "is the concept of work philosophically moral."

Other questions: My future plans is to live a relatively quiet life out of the public eye, surrounded by books, and having plenty of free time to research or practice my hobbies. I want a stable job, with money so I don’t have to think about those things, and I want to be intellectually stimulated and to be able to add value to the world in the best way I can. I want two dogs, a partner who is fine with my need for space. I also want to live in a walkable city that has an interest in art and culture, and access to nature.

That sounds lovely.

Mostly, I want to be satisfied that I am a good person and be able to do what I want with relative freedom. Now, to be honest, I am very unsatisfied about the real world. It seems so monotonous, and I have always had the secret desire to escape into a fantasy realm. Unfortunately for myself, I don’t believe in the supernatural.

It gets better. There are a lot of cool things out there, and it all gets much less linear once you leave school. I would probably say though - knowing you and your tendencies - maybe a little less focus on being a good person (because that's a can of worms) and maybe a little more on doing things that are a net positive to the world around you.

I feel most powerful when I surprise myself. I once prepared for a grad school interview by reading hundreds of questions and preparing answers for them. When I practiced with a friend, it just came out forced and clunky, and I found myself trying to repeat exactly what I had written. I had accepted I just wasn’t going to get in. When I went to the actual interview though, I just went off script and took risks. I told personal anecdotes while maintaining the image I wanted to project to them, which got me an offer.

You are absolutely a Rapid-Fire bird, which is very cool.

When I speak up in class, when I stand up for myself, when I make impulsive decisions, and especially when I do something scary, I also feel this way.

I like it. Lean into that Lion secondary energy. I know a lot of Birds, especially Double Birds, find it extremely helpful.

I also feel powerful when I feel competent. For instance, when I fix issues at work, when I get good grades, when I manage to problem solve in a clever way.

All of this is very Bird secondary. And honestly, a very effective-sounding Bird secondary.

In high school and during the pandemic, I also was obsessed with personality systems and would read and introspect for hours trying to determine my type. But there was never an answer satisfying enough because the process of introspection was the addictive part of it, and even a sliver of doubt would send me into another rabbit hole. There is a kind of poking at it until it becomes mush effect. I literally made excel sheets with my results on different quizzes, over multiple weeks, to see if there was a pattern. By focusing so much on figuring out who I am, and the intricacies of my own psyche, I just end up losing the big picture and not being able to contextualize the information I’ve gathered. Sometimes it even becomes hard to identify anything since I’m focusing on such a tiny part of myself, and the human mind is so kaleidoscopic and changing, so it stops making sense and just becomes a big blob of behaviors and thoughts. I’ve had a hard time figuring out my MBTI and enneagram because of this as well.

I have been there before, trying to navigate the difference between what is useful introspection and what is navel-gazing indulgence. I accept that people are incredibly complicated, and any categorization system is inherently imperfect. I also accept that words to describe your inner workings are extremely helpful, and honestly, necessary. One thing I like about the system is the cleanness of it. So much of it has to do with cutting through the noise and the *presentation* we are presented, and just going - okay, how do we work, why do we work?

Thank you to Lorangutan for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

#shc #sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #double bird #bird primary #bird secondary #exploded bird #actor bird #rapid fire bird #badger primary model

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gowns · 5 months ago

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i have made a very funny journey w/ autism which is like...

growing up, mom always tells me she thinks i'm autistic or (90s euphemism pop psychology thing) that i have "einstein syndrome"

and yet she never gets me tested

various accommodations are made for me in school - i am clearly "smart" but also kinda just "doing my own thing" and the teachers are either annoyed but give in to my mom browbeating them, or give me good grades for thinking outside of the box

(various cycles of hyperfixations and limerence and burn out later)

one of my best friends realizes they are autistic and we see the world the same way so we both go "hmm" about that for a while

i maintain i couldn't possibly be autistic because i have worked with high-needs autistic people* *i also tend to be very adept at working with autistic people

i notice that my older child (whose personality is identical to mine as a kid) seems to show signs of high functioning autism

eventually read devon price and other books and take the tests and etc and i'm like hmm ok i guess i have autism

by this point i am so keenly Aware that i am Neurodivergent and maybe that's why i seem to operate in a different reality than a lot of other people, that it seems hard to remember a time when i thought i was "normal" and trying hard to be "normal"

like now i'm just owning being an odd duck and needing my funny little ways of recharging and having fun

and now i find i'm actually a bit annoyed at various influencers who talk about discovering that they have autism because sometimes they don't want to go to parties or w/e and i'm like. "hmm. but is this the same flavor as the thing i have? idk what kind you have but i'm clearly on another level of it."

(very silly, i went to gatekeeping one side of the gate to gatekeeping on the other side of the gate. hahaha.)

anyway, i try not to be judgmental, it's just interesting that autism and adhd are en vogue right now. #relateable.

i still maintain that the bigger problem is Society. like, having tiny computers in our pockets combined w/ unreasonable employers who want you to be Focused on a Task for 8 hours are definitely doing things to our brains and making us feel deficient if we can't do Productive things. and then the pings. ping. ping. ping. check this. do that. ping. ping. ping.

and then it's like -- when people figure they must be neurodivergent because they take a moment to pause and dip out of the constant noise and they're like whoa i feel better for a moment -- well of course, taking a nap in the middle of the day feels good. it feels good to spend some time alone and in solitude when most of your day is responding to PINGS. and guess what, microdosing meth feels good, weed feels good, looking at wikipedia or reddit instead of doing work feels good, etc etc. the fact that adderall feels good =/= your brain works "different" or is "defective" in some way.

ok. you're probably different. sure.

it's like the same basic question of literature, theatre, art, of the last 400-odd-years, what is a human, what makes me tick, why do i feel a separation between me and others, what is that other person even thinking, why are we both looking at each other like "you're insane"? why are the motivations and inner workings of this other person so inscrutable, and mine are so comfortable and infinitely knowable?

however. all that being said. i think it may eventually come to a point where more people are considered neurodivergent than neurotypical, and hopefully, you would think, that would mean more accommodations, which would mean society as a whole would be more accommodating towards disability.

but i fear that on the other end, it may end up in situation where otherwise-typical people with an immense amount of privilege (e.g. average white americans) figure out how to weaponize incompetence (so to speak) and automate more labor away from them and giving the global lower classes more grunt work to shoulder. all while not acknowledging the true source of that "i don't belong" feeling ... and creating more alienation ... hmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM

all that being said, it's fun to share autistic memes with friends

#unrebloggable because my thoughts and journey with this are even more nuanced than this i think...#but just typing this out quickly while my kids watch tv

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tathrin · 2 days ago

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Tagged by @roselightfairy, thank you! I never remember to check my stats on this stuff, so it's always interesting to see when somebody reminds me that that's a feature that exists lol.

How many works do you have on AO3? Ninety-six, which is nearly everything I've ever written, although there are a few very-very-very-old-and-abandoned fics that never made it off FFnet (and do not need to shhhh!).

What's your total AO3 word count? 2,010,650 (we're not going to talk about how I discovered a little while ago that there's a character-limit for individual google doc; thank goodness for Ellipsus!)

Your Top 5 Stories by Kudos:

Green-Eyed Snake - an old HP fic from back before the TERF-in-Chief made even thinking about that fandom unendurably vile, and it's funny to me that this one has accrued the most kudos because it's a canon-compliant take on Slytherin!Harry which means it makes a lot of readers very very angry even to this day, since I refused to write this bewildered ten-year-old as a suave and sexy machiavellian mastermind lmao.

The Filth of Saruman - a gap-filler Gimleaf story which I am delighted to see take the second-top spot, because it's one that I'm quite fond of myself. It features the obligatory post-Helm's-Deep-bathing-together-scene, in which Gimli is Having A Lot Of Feelings That He Is Not Interested In Articulating To Himself Yet, Thank You! which has definitely become a common feature of my stories.

A Slip Of The Tongue - another Legolas and Gimli post-Helm's Deep one, albeit set in Movie!Continuity which is a rarity for me, in which there is a little more articulating, if only by accident. Also featuring Third Wheel Aragorn, which is my favorite flavor of Aragorn. This one is short and cute and I like it a lot for what it is, so I'm pleased to see it's a popular one too!

Green-Eyed Snake II: Heir Of Slytherin - book two of the aforementioned series. Alas, I only made it through book four before her vileness became too prominent to make writing this stuff palatable, which means we never got to the stage of their adolescence in which we would have gotten into all the queerness and gender-fuckery that would have really pissed her off.

A Broken Bridge In Erebor - Oh I think this is my first romantically-inclined Gimleaf fic, actually? So it's lovely to see that this one is well-liked too. Not that they get to the point of articulating/figuring out any actual romantic feelings here either, so it could just as easily have been tagged with the & as the / — but one of the joys of gimleaf as a ship to me is that there's no real notable difference in how their relationship is written on either side of the romantic/platonic divide. They're together, whether they're kissing or not, and that's what really matters.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh, yes! Yes yes a thousandfold. The whole point, to me, of sharing fanfic is having people share their thoughts back. Otherwise you might as well just leave them sitting on your hard drive, right? Fandom is supposed to be a shared space, where we can all squeal and gush and flail and talk to one another about the stuff we like, so I absolutely answer back when people are generous enough to share their thoughts or feelings with me!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. Although I do have an old Star Wars/LotR cross-over from way back in college that never made it past the opening chapters that I might dig-out for the briliant @goodintentionswipfest next year, now that I remember it exists!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, as of pretty recently. I'm not sure how to define "what kind" because I'm not really sure what kinds there are, uh...cross-cultural/cross-species stuff that is heavily centered in world building, I guess? I'm not sure if that's what the question is asking exactly, but that's an accurate way to describe what I write at least lol.

I started mainly because I wanted to get my fantasy-biology-headcanons down in more coherent form than just random unwritten musings, and I admit that's still what I find most fascinating about the concept, most of the time. But the more of it I write, the more I enjoy the characterization and emotional moments you can get into those scenes, so that's fun.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not so far as I know. Although I did have some of my fics kicked off FFnet before.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Somebody once asked to do one but I don't think they ever did, or at least, I don't have a link to it if they did; but I suppose since I wouldn't be able to read it in any other language because I suck, it doesn't really matter (except that I'd love to have linked to it from the story). I think it's incredibly cool that there are people who both can and want to do that stuff, though!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, although I've done a lot of shared-world-building with @babybat98 for Green/Mirkwood which is sort of fic-co-writing adjacent I guess (and is also loads of fun).

What's your all time favorite ship?

About that... yeah. It's funny, really, because I spent my early years of LotR fandom virulently opposed to the very idea of them being a ship (thanks to personal issues with romance-vs-friendship at the time, due to being terrified that someday I would fall prey to icky-romance-grossness myself eww) and now, I am clearly not only very invested in them (shh) but in fact, I would say that I literally "learned how to ship" from them lmao.

So, yeah. I loved them together even before I was willing to accept that they were "together," tbh. (Adolescence is complicated when you don't even know your sexuality exists, okay?) Now that I have, I'm quite happily besotted.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will?

Ugghh definitely Shadows Creeping. It's a mess of a fic that would take SO much effort to fix, and thus all but impossible to even think about finishing, but it's sooooo close to the end of the story, and I feel bad forever that I let it languish like that.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions and world building for sure. (A little too much so sometimes lol.) I'm also pretty good at chameleon-ing—adapting tone/style to match or at least mesh with somebody else's (see: the Celebrimbor Fellowship AU, my Animorphs AU Series, or even the aforementioned HP crap, in all of which I've tried to ape the original author's writing style, sometimes to the point of even sliding excerpts from the original text right into the story, hopefully seamlessly). Oh, and fight scenes! I'm told those are a real struggle for a lot of people, but I find they generally come pretty easy to me, and are fun to do.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Too much description and world building. I get lots in the exposition-weeds way too easily. I struggle to find the balance between telling enough and telling way way way more than anyone wants to actually read. And tend to err very much on the side of the latter. Oops.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to?

I haven't actually written Celebrimbor/Anntar/Narvi together on the page yet, although I've come close. Honestly if I had all the time in the world, I would love to sit down and work on putting together that Huge Epic Rise And Fall Of Ost-in-Edhil Fic that feels like has been lurking in the back of my brain pretty much since the first time I read the Silm, if not longer.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

Ohhhh I have such a hard time picking favorites for anything, really, because "favorite" always depends on "of what sort" to me...but if I have to, I'll probably go with this one, because it's the story I'm currently fixated on. For completed stories, probably this one. And for best thing I've ever written, it's hands-down this one. (Once I have the remaining two parts of that trilogy written, I think I want to get them all printed so I can put them on my bookshelf, that's how happy I am with it!)

Thank you so much for tagging me for this @roselightfairy, it was loads of fun to look at and think about stuff I don't often spend time/though on. And I shall in turn tag: @babybat98 @sallysavestheday @thescrapwitch @mossy-thing

#ask meme #my writing #fandom #fanfiction #AO3 #fandom stats #gigolas #gimleaf #celebrimbor #silvergifting #lotr fanfiction

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powdermelonkeg · 8 months ago

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I’ve noticed that a lot of people have some problems with the Totk narrative and was wondering what you thought about it! I’m personally pretty neutral but I can see why people don’t like it. Have a wonderful day!

Okay so controversial opinion here from me:

TotK > BotW

WITH A CAVEAT

I enjoy games IMMENSELY more when I'm not spoiled on them. Skyrim mesmerized me because I flat out was not expecting an actual execution in the first five minutes. I love exploring things for myself.

I went into TotK with ZERO proper spoilers, on purpose. All I had was my own speculation from my trailer breakdowns, and the barest glimpse of Sonia from a leak. The world fascinated me. The physics engine was insanely fun to play with. I got super excited with the return of caves and dozens of collectables. I loved discovering new recipes. I LIVED in the Depths. And the slow horror of figuring out what exactly Zelda did to herself—I saw Tear 3, felt a sinking feeling of dread, rushed into the Depths of the castle to break down that last mural, then panicked as I raced around Hyrule trying to get the rest of the memories. I got the final memory, and I stood on top of Zelda's head for half an hour in shock.

BotW, on the other hand, I spoiled myself on, and was let down by in terms of what I expected out of it. I think the story would have captivated me had I stayed off of Youtube and actually bought the game (was broke at the time, didn't get it until 2019) and experienced it as intended. But I KNEW all the cutscenes, so I didn't have a drive to chase them. Which left the mechanics of the game on their own for me to get used to; I liked cooking, I loved getting a house. I hated how few enemy types there were, I missed my pieces of heart and secret caves and collectables. It's a secret to everybody? Wrong. 85000 shrines.

I started Zelda with Twilight Princess. That's been the bar for me since the beginning. If lighting two unlit torches doesn't give me a secret chest, or beating a challenging minigame doesn't give me a better quiver, it doesn't feel like Zelda to me.

Everything in BotW felt samey because I'd taken the narrative out of its natural habitat and experienced it as a movie rather than as a game, and the most variation enemies really had was a color or elemental difference. No Redeads in the desert, no Toadpoli in the lake, no Freezards in the ice. Also the bosses had no individuality.

Now, I 100% understand why people who love BotW don't love TotK. A lot of what was set up in BotW was undercut in favor of telling the story of Ocarina of Time again. There's no moving past the cycle like BotW implied there would be, and the refusal of the devs to so much as show the ruins of the last game's pivotal pieces feels like they didn't want to commit to anything. It's like if Four Swords and Four Swords Adventures were said to be direct sequels; they've got the same flavor, the same mechanics, but why does NOTHING have continuity?

(I've kind of microdosed on this frustration myself in regards to the timeline; all that effort to say BotW was at the end of all three timelines and do away with the mess they released in Hyrule Historia, and they add Zonai tech in on top of the Sheikah tech with no continuity??? Rauru and Sonia vs Skyward Zel??? Rito existed at the dawn of time. What)

As a continuation of BotW's narrative, it fails. Not egregiously enough for fans to be able to disconnect them and call them their own stories, but badly enough that the overall story feels like it was meant to be two, not one. That's a frustrating point to be in; too much is intertwined between them to break them off and create for them separately, but it's also not intertwined enough that you can't see that it's fraying at the edges.

Anyways...

I liked it. A lot. I think the whole dragon plotline and worldbuilding is fascinating. I have my gripes with dialogue, as one always does with Nintendo games, but you know.

#ask bee #long post #botw #totk #loz #zelda

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the-bitter-ocean · 9 months ago

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10 12 and 15 for isat ask game :3

(FULL GAME SPOILERS + 2HATS/A6SE SPOILERS ) Thank you for asking these questions @aroace-poly-show ! I’m going to answer 10 since 12 and fifteen I’ve already in previous asks! If you’d like to know my answers to those you can find them here (ask 12) and here (ask 15) I have a ton of headcanons for both the setting of the game as a whole and also for individual characters but for now I think I’m gonna focus more on the world building aspect in this ask! I won’t delve into all of them but I’ll grab some that I talked about to my friends:

10- any headcanons about the in-game world? (about the forgotten island, craft types, just like. world building hcs, etc)

For the island I like to think the people living there would collect dandelions, folded paper cranes and looked for shooting stars because all of those are methods of making a wish. I also like the idea of there being festivals and ceremonies where people would make and light up lanterns to put in the sky. I also think that the Island had a close trade relation to places like Vaugarde (Bambouche specifically given how close it is to the island + both areas are coastal and how its cultural aspects seem to have major overlap in some areas as well with the favor trees etc). We don’t know a lot about the island or its culture in game but from what little we see from Siffrin’s memories and optional content in game it is very fascinating. I like to think out of all the countries the island is the more technologically advanced (given the studies on the stars and cultural practices of wishcraft/ time craft that region could have been the main ones studying it, hence the lack of info on either of these things once the island got wiped from everyone’s memories). I love when people in aus and fics and art explore the effects of this post game. Seeing everyone’s interpretations on whether the islands culture slowly gets remembered or more stuff about time craft/wish craft gets discovered or explore the effects of the color red being a permanent thing people can see now due to the events of act 5 is wild to think about.

In general I like seeing the different cultures views/ gods / faiths and belief systems and seeing how that affects the environment and characters who live within it. Odile mentioned having multiple gods aka “Expressions” (polytheistic) and that you build shrines / pray to only the ones you need in that moment, Mirabelle believes in the Change God (monotheistic) and Siffrin believes in the Universe (which to me reminds me more of a way of life/ belief system / conceptual idea of “Fate” itself rather than a conscious thinking autonomous being in the way expressions or the change god is ) All in all having these different elements makes the setting feel more open and interesting/ grounded in reality which u appreciate immensely. In the photos listed down below I said my personal HCS about the country of Mwudu since we don’t really get to hear about it in game aside from passing mentions and flavor text when you click certain objects.

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suplicyy · 9 months ago

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[Prompt Series pt.5]

Camping with Yamaguchi

— Summary: You and Yamaguchi go on a camping trip.

— Fluff

— Gn!Reader

You don't really know how this was possible, but somehow you managed to convince your parents to let you go camping with Yamaguchi for the entire weekend. Both of you had been planning for some time for a type of meeting that was totally different from what you had done before, so when Tadashi saw that near his house there was a place where people used to camp, he told you right away.

And for almost two whole weeks, you planned everything: arranging things like camping tents, sleeping bags, a small heater, among many other things that were necessary for the activity. You borrowed most of the items from some friends (70% of the items were reluctantly given by Tsukishima), so the only expense you two had was food and transport to get there.

So that's why you guys were now on an hour-long ride in a bus with several bags to the camp site. And you were internally grateful that you guys left the house early, since you could see Yamaguchi sleeping on your shoulder, which you thought was the cutest thing in the world and you certainly didn't take some photos of him. And after arriving at the location with the bus, you two still needed to walk a long 20 minutes to the location, which left you very tired when you arrived at your destination.

The place was very quiet, since where you were was a little further away from residential areas. It was a small plain with medium vegetation, and if you look further, you can see a trail that leads towards to a small forest that you could explore.

But before planning anything, you and Yamaguchi decided to try setting up the camping tent first, which took a while to get stable since this was your first time doing something like this. After setting up the tent, you dropped your belongings inside the tent and waited patiently for the boy to do the same.

"Come on!! We need to explore the woods trail before dark!" you say as you hug the boy's arm, who immediately blushes at your action. "B-But what if we get lost...?" he says with a slight tone of concern. "Don't worry Yama, we'll just walk a little and then we'll come back!" and before he can protest, you grab his hand and quickly walk towards the trail, laughing at the look of concern on Yamaguchi's face, which soon dissipates and gives a small smile when he sees that you're having fun.

All said and done, you explore the place a little, discovering that further ahead there was a beautiful river where you could see some fish through the crystal clear water, with the light current carrying leaves that had fallen from the trees and now float on the wet surface.

With your cell phone, you took several photos of the environment, but you were even more excited to take photos of your loved one distracted by the beauty of the place. You never got tired of admiring his beautiful face, which always looked at you with the kindest and most affectionate look of all.

And as you had promised that you wouldn't go too far, after observing the environment around you more, you decide to return to the camping tent. Interlacing your hands, as you walked along the trail you could observe the sun slowly preparing to rest and give its place to the beautiful moon, a sign that it was already time to prepare and eat the delicious meal you brought along for the trip.

And the food was really delicious, you two were able to really enjoy every aroma and flavor that the meal had to offer, you even made a little makeshift fire to roast marshmallows. And over the light flames of the bonfire, you talked and laughed comfortably about each other's presence, happiness growing in your hearts as you stood next to each other.

Everything was so perfect, nothing wrong would happen today, right? But it seems that the universe always likes to ruin good moments with a sudden event.

Yamaguchi thought exactly like this as he desperately looked for his sleeping bag that he swore he had picked up before leaving his house. You had told him to pack the sleeping bags inside the tent while you cleaned and collected the things you had left behind from the meal you just ate.

His soul almost leaves his body when he hears you entering the cabin, being startled by your sudden entry. "I already managed to organize everything outside, how about you?" you say sitting next to Tadashi, who was nervously looking at the floor as a way to avoid your gaze.

When observing the boy's abnormal behavior, you gently run your hand over his back, lightly stroking the area. "Hey, what happened Yama?" You say in a slight tone of concern.

"Well... I think I ended up forgetting to bring my sleeping bag..." he says, still avoiding your gaze, feeling embarrassed for forgetting something that he thought was super important.

You stop for a moment to think about the information you just received, but soon smiled at the boy next to you. "If you want you can sleep with me, I share my sleeping bag with you!" upon hearing your suggestion, he immediately blushes at the idea of the two of you sleeping together. "N-No need, I swear! I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I can sleep on the fl-"

Before he could finish his sentence, you pull him into a hug that makes you both fall on top of your sleeping bag, which makes Tadashi let out a small sound of surprise at your sudden action.

"If I were really uncomfortable, do you think I would suggest we sleep together? Besides, at home we always sleep together!" You lift your hand to gently caress his cheek "Don't worry about it, okay?" he looks at you with a small blush on his cheeks, but soon gives in to your idea, nodding in agreement.

Soon after, you open your sleeping bag and get into it, and you moved to the side so Yamaguchi could get into the sleeping bag with you. It was a little tight, as this model was designed for use by just one person, but you have to admit, it was actually comfortable the way your body was close to his. You were so close that you could almost hear Yamaguchi's heart rate, which was racing with proximity.

Before lying down completely, you turn off the small light that illuminated the inside of the camping tent and snuggled up to Yamaguchi, who is now more relaxed. He shyly wraps his arms around you, hugging you while lightly stroking your hair.

With a slight yawn, you close your eyes and settle into the boy's arms. "Good night Yama..." you say before falling asleep, the tiredness of the day finally falling off your shoulders. "Good night [Name]." and then Tadashi allows himself to relax next to you, sleeping soundly as he dreams about the little trip you two planned with so much care.

A/N — My exams end next week!! I'm so relieved that it's over, but I can't fully relax yet, I still need to study more, so there may not be constant updates here yet💔

— Prompt chosen for this post: Person B and Person A go on a camping trip. Person B forgets to bring a sleeping bag, so they have to squeeze into Person A's sleeping bag with them.

[Prompt Series Masterlist]

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #hq #hq x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #yamaguchi tadashi x reader #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi fluff #haikyuu fluff

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papermint-airplane · 10 months ago

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I was tagged by *inhales* @faeriefrolic, @nocturnalazure, @treason-and-plot, @drawing-way-outside-the-lines, and @anamoon63. I love you guys! Thank you for remembering me while I was taking an unexpected hiatus! 😭💖

I don't remember if I've done this one or not for any of my main three RT characters and I'm not going to go back to look right now because I'm lAaAaAzY today so I'm going to do this one for a slightly older character. Viridia. No reason. I just think people need to keep Viridia in mind. For no. reason.

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your OC!

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Viridia is the daughter of a witch and a witch's thrall, so not a whole lot scares her. She's seen her share of spooky things growing up. That being said, she suffers from ephebiphobia, the fear of teenagers. It's not like she'll run screaming from them, or anything. She just doesn't trust them. Not one little bit.

Do they have any pet peeves? Oh a lot. Stuck up people, overly cheerful people, rules, being asked if she's an alien (she's half toad), not getting her way, libraries, and restaurants with a dress code.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? Handcuffs, those little nose strips that stop you from snoring, and a grimoire. Viridia doesn't have any magic herself, she just likes reading spells to lull her to sleep at night.

What do they notice first in a person? Their reaction to her. Viridia is aware that she's...a lot and that her personality can be a little polarizing. So if people are flinching away from her or giving her a wide berth, those are the people she's the most interested in. What? I said she was aware, not that she was introspective.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? 4. She seems like a badass, but she's a total marshmallow.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Fight mode. Which makes the previous fact all the more hilarious. She's the walking personification of "can dish it out but can't take it".

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? Viridia is the only child of a witch and said witch's toadified thrall.

What animal represents them best? I Googled "loudest land animal on Earth" and got "The loudest land animal is the bulldog bat, whose sound registers at 140 dB." So that one.

What is a smell that they dislike? Men's cheap cologne. I don't think I have to explain that one.

Have they broken any bones? Like, in her own body or in someone else's? Be more specific.

How would a stranger likely describe them? Loud. Hot. But loud.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Viridia is more of an "I'm awake when I'm awake and you just have to deal with that" bird.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Viridia hates black licorice, which is the only correct opinion to have about black licorice. Her favorite flavor is black currant.

Do they have any hobbies? Viridia likes bar games. When she was in college, she hung out at bars a lot because she got a student discount and she discovered a talent for various bar games. Darts, pool, beer pong, poker. Anything she can hustle you at, basically. And she will. Don't put money on any game Viridia suggests.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Loudly.

Do they like to wear jewelry? Viridia's not the biggest jewelry girl in the world. She likes to make a statement with her clothing, but she doesn't accessorize too often.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Viridia has Viridia handwriting. She tends to bear down on the pen, making bold lines that really make an impression...on the next six or seven pages underneath the one she's currently writing on. It's neat enough to be legible, I suppose, but that's not really what you're focusing on when you read it. Pens don't last long around her.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Lust and annoyance. Do with that as you will.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Lycra.

What kind of accent do they have? See this one is tricky because I don't ever really think about my characters having accents. I guess you could argue they have my brain's accent when I read what I wrote for them back. I don't know. I tend to focus less on their accent and more on their affect, like Aiden stammers a lot and Viridia screams at the top of her lungs all the time...that sort of thing. I guess what I'm saying is you can headcanon my characters to have any accent you want and you're technically correct.

I'm going to tag...uh...let's see...probably everyone has done this by now...

@happy-lemon, @bool-prop, @pralinesims, and Idk who else. I've been slacking on my Simblring so I haven't caught up on my dash in a while. I don't know who has done what. I'm so sorry. 😭😭

#tag game #tag meme #oc development #just simblr things #tangentially sims related #sim: viridia nn'ox #oc questions

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