#but now i'm like ??? maybe they weren't so hard or i just didn't know how to play 😂
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thevoicefromanotherworld · 3 days ago
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"ARE YOU SURE, DOLL?"
I WROTE A NEW FIC WITH BUCKY because I (need him sm it's not even funny anymore) love him (he's my boyfriend, only he doesn't know it yet lol)
I hope you like it! 😊🖤☝
WARNING: EXPLICIT SMUT UNDER THE CUT
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You'd been in love with Bucky for quite some time.
Everyone in the tower knew it, except Steve, whom you hadn't wanted to tell due to his closeness to the man with the metal arm.
That day, the tower was empty because, according to Tony, they had an important mission to complete, and someone had to stay behind to make sure they didn't have any unexpected company, so he left you alone in charge.
Or so you thought. You entered the living room and headed to the bar there to grab a bottle of water when you felt a strong presence in the room.
Your powers weren't too extraordinary, as you basically just had heightened senses, but when you smelled a strong scent of leather and metal, you knew Tony had lied to you.
You turned to see Bucky sitting on the couch in a relaxed posture. His gaze firmly focused on yours before he nodded politely.
You internally cursed the billionaire, as this was clearly a setup to get you and the super soldier alone. He could have left you with Vision, but instead, there he was.
"Bucky," you murmured when you found your voice. "What are you doing here?"
"The Tin Man asked me to look after you." He raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing at all," you replied, taking a swig from the bottle in your hand.
"You're lying," he whispered, causing your eyes to widen.
"Excuse me?"
"It's a lie," he repeated. "That nothing's wrong with you," he clarified. "I know you, and I know when your mind is calm and when it isn't, and right now it isn't," he decreed, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. "Why don't you tell me what's going on in that little head of yours, Princess?"
His voice grew hoarse at the name, making you shudder from head to toe. Before you had time to think about what you were doing, you found yourself walking over to him and sitting where he'd told you to.
"That's it," he praised, flashing a lopsided smile. "Good girl," he whispered, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Go ahead," he encouraged. "I'm all ears."
"Maybe…" you began. "Leave it alone. It's stupid. I don't know why I'm even telling you this…"
"Hey," he said. "Nothing you do will ever seem stupid to me or anything," he whispered, making you give a grateful smile.
"I beat a boss in a video game I'd been trying to kill for two weeks." You shrugged. "See how stupid that was?"
"I don't think so," the sergeant replied, looking at you closely. "I know how hard it is for you to play those kinds of games." He smiled. "I'm very proud of you."
"That's… very thoughtful of you," you murmured shyly. "Thank you, Buck."
"My God, you're adorable. You know that?" He laughed, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips.
You felt your breath catch in your throat. Was this really happening? Was Bucky Barnes shamelessly flirting with you? You didn't think you'd live to experience it, but there you were, trying to maintain your composure.
"No one's ever said that to me before," you confessed. He frowned in surprise.
"Really?" "He inquired. You shook your head. "Then they need to get their eyesight checked, honey, because I don't know how someone like you hasn't heard that before," he whispered. "I'm glad to see you talking to me like this," he confessed, making your heart skip a beat in your chest.
"That's because you make me feel safe, Buck," you murmured. "I don't usually open up like this to anyone."
He gently placed his hand on your hip, making slow circles on your skin, making you part your lips at his touch.
"You feel safe with me because you are, doll," he whispered, licking his lips. "I'll protect you from everything and everyone." He placed a kiss on your neck, stealing your breath.
His kisses traveled from your collarbone and back to your neck, stealing several sighs from you in the process that made him smile.
"You're so perfect," he murmured against your skin.
"You're making me blush," you said, feeling your cheeks heat up.
He kissed your throat, making you shiver, a husky laugh escaping his lips.
"I should keep kissing you like this then, doll," he whispered. "I love it when you blush for me."
Your cheeks automatically turned redder than they already were, proving the soldier's point.
"Buck…" you gasped, feeling his long fingers slip under your shirt to cup your hips with his hands.
"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, pulling away from you for a moment. His blue eyes scrutinized your face, as if he could see the problem reflected in your gaze just by doing so.
"I… I have to tell you something," you said, swallowing nervously. He watched you intently, silently, without pushing you. You nodded, encouraging yourself before saying, "I'm in love with you," you confessed, he held your gaze gently.
"Is that what you really wanted to tell me before?" he asked slowly. You nodded.
"I'm in love with you too," he confessed, making your eyes widen. "It wasn't difficult for it to happen," he explained, looking at you intensely. "You're so…" he paused, thinking of the right word. "Unique," he said finally. "You're like a breath of fresh air," he continued. "You make the bad days good days and the good days even better. You're… the pillar on which my being rests. I…" He held your face in his hands lovingly. "I couldn't live without you," he whispered. "I'd rather die than live in a world without you."
"Oh, Buck," you murmured, feeling tears threatening to run down your cheeks. "Do you really feel that way about me?"
"I would never lie to you, doll." He smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead. "Can I ask you a question?" He said. You nodded. "Yes." "Can I kiss you?"
"You can," you answered quickly. "But first, I have to tell you something." You lowered your head for a moment before looking into his eyes. "I… I've never done this with anyone."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Have you never been kissed?" He asked. You shook your head, noticing how you blushed again.
"No. Is that a problem?" "You blurted out hastily. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Honestly, I should just shut up…"
"Hey, hey baby, look at me," he whispered before taking your chin in his hand, both gently and possessively. "Relax, it's okay, and of course it's not a problem," he explained. "It's just… you're beautiful," he murmured. "So I'm surprised no one's ever kissed you."
He traced the curve of your face with his index finger.
"But now that I know you haven't been kissed, I'm tempted to keep you all to myself."
"Go ahead then," you murmured, bursting into a burst of courage you wouldn't have had at other times. "I trust you."
He stares at you for a few seconds before a small, soft smile spreads across his face.
"Are you sure, doll?"
"I am."
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He stares at you for a few seconds, his expression soft and almost intimate as he strokes your chin with his thumb before speaking again.
"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you," he insisted. "I want you to be comfortable."
"I trust you, and I know you would never hurt me or force me to do anything I didn't want to do."
His smile widens at your words, his fingers slipping further under your shirt and rubbing small circles beneath your breasts, stealing a gasp from you as you feel the cold metal against your warm skin.
"Of course I wouldn't hurt you," he leaned closer to your ear to whisper, "because I'd be too busy pleasing you."
"That's a great pickup line," you commented, trying to focus your attention on something other than his damn long, masculine, perfect fingers massaging your skin.
"It's the truth, baby," he whispered, placing a kiss on your chin before staring at you.
"I know," you said, making him smile.
"Don't worry, I'm sure I can think of better ones."
"Oh yeah?" you challenged him. He gave an amused smile.
"I can definitely think of other ways to impress you."
"Like what?"
He shifted slightly, getting a little closer to you, so that your lips were practically touching as you spoke. You inhaled sharply at having him so close, since something like this had only happened in your wildest dreams.
"I could provoke you…" he kissed your neck, "to take my time with you…" another kiss, this time on the corner of your lips, "to drive you crazy with my words."
"I believe you," you managed to say between gasps.
"Then let me give you a little taste of what I could do to you," he whispered in your ear.
Suddenly, he lifted you by the hips and sat you on his lap quickly, as if you were as light as a feather, causing you to straddle him.
You felt the muscles of your strong legs beneath you, readjusting so that he was aligned with you.
He gently gripped your thighs to keep you there, while he looked at you intently, his eyes never leaving your face.
"That was unexpected," you said, making him laugh.
"Unexpected, huh?" he inquired. "Honey, we're just getting started."
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He shifted slightly against you, causing you to feel him through your clothes in your most sensitive area. You'd never experienced anything like it, but almost instinctively, your hips met his, moving against him.
"That… feels good."
"Doesn't it? Do you like sitting on my lap, baby?"
"You know I do," you whispered.
He placed his hands under your knees and leaned you closer to him, so that your lips were dangerously close.
"I know," he confessed. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
"I like sitting on your lap." The soldier's smile widened, pleased with your answer.
"Is that true?" he inquired. "Do you like the way my hands feel on you, doll? Do you like these big hands touching you?"
"Especially the metal one," you blurted.
Due to the tension of the moment, when you realized what you'd said, your eyes widened and you focused on him, assessing his facial expression.
He raises an eyebrow, a small, amused gasp escaping his lips, accompanied by a lopsided smile.
"You like the metal hand, huh?" he probed; you nodded.
"Yes."
"Why?" he asked out of curiosity. "Do you like the way it feels against your skin when I touch you?"
He moves his metallic hand up to cup your cheek; his slightly cold touch makes you shiver, and he feels it as if he were the one who had done it.
"Buck…" you gasped. "Kiss me, please."
"Oh look at you," he mocked. "You poor thing. Do you want me to kiss you, doll? Is that what you want?"
"Please…" you sighed. "I need you."
Then he took your chin in his metallic hand, his lips gently brushing against yours.
The kiss was soft and delicate, yet dominant and firm at the same time. You moved against him, driven by the sensations you were experiencing at that moment.
You brought your hands to his shirt to pull it over his head. He let you, kissing you all the time, his lips covering yours with need. Then he wanted to do the same to you, and you stopped him by placing a hand on his.
"Wait, I…" you tilted your head. "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed…"
"You have nothing to be ashamed of, baby," he whispered, placing his hand on yours. "It's just you and me." He leaned down to place a loving kiss on your lips.
"Yeah," you nodded. "It's just that being in front of another person like this… it terrifies me, you know?"
"I understand," he whispered, cupping your face, "but you have nothing to be ashamed of," he murmured. "You look beautiful."
From then on, everything went downhill without stopping.
You shed each other's clothes in a matter of seconds, leaving you a moaning, panting mess a few more later.
Bucky showed you how much he loved you, not only with words but also with actions.
Your shaky legs were proof of that.
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dancinglikebutterflywings · 21 hours ago
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Not Dead Yet | Part 05
-> Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x Medium-Fem!Reader
-> Synopsis: After a strange encounter, Jeonghan wakes up outside of his body. The only person who can see him is Y/N, a woman with a gift (or curse as she would call it) who is able to see and communicate with the deceased. But Jeonghan isn't dead... not yet anyway.
-> Warnings: talks of Gods, comas, ghosts.
-> Word Count: 2,300
-> Taglist: Open until series is completed. Leave a comment on the masterlist post, send an ask or fill out the Tag List Form.
-> A/N: I'm so sorry this took forever. Life didn't just get in the way. I also had major writers block for this one.
Not Dead Yet Masterlist | Jeonghan Masterlist | SVT Masterlist
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“Let me get this right,” Xu Minghao, Y/N’s spiritual guide, says after listening to Y/N’s explanation of what she’s been dealing with for the last few days. “This man, Yoon Jeonghan, isn’t dead but in a coma and you can still see him?”   
“That’s pretty much it,” she nods.��   
“And the strange man? You’ve encountered him?” Minghao continues to question her as he places a cup of herbal tea in front of her before sitting across the table from her.   
She nods again. "At the bus stop."  
“And Gods were mentioned?” he asks.   
She nods one more time. “But he doesn’t look like any God that I know of. Maybe he’s a messenger for one of them?”   
“Gods don’t always look how they’re portrayed in pictures and writing,” he tells her. “Have you got the full story from this Yoon Jeonghan?”   
Her mind goes back to the early hours of this morning. She knows Jeonghan only gave her the short version of what had happened. The feeling of there being more to it still lingers inside her. She hoped that after she finished visiting with the kids, she could speak to him, but her mother had called her asking if she was able to get a late lunch with her, to which she politely declined.   
Y/N takes a deep breath, her fingers nervously tracing the rim of her teacup. "I don't," she admits. "He only told me about the strange man, passing out and waking up in the hospital outside of his body."  
"I suggest you get him to tell you everything that happened that night, then maybe we can narrow down which God is messing with him," Minghao advises her.   
Y/N takes another sip of her tea, the warmth spreading through her fingers and easing some of the tension in her chest. “I’ll try,” she says, a determined glint in her eye. “But I have a feeling it might not be as easy as it seems.”  
Minghao leans back in his chair, tapping his fingers thoughtfully against the table. “It's hard to say things out loud, it makes our situations seem more real. And right now, he's more than likely terrified. He has no clue what's happening or why it's happening. He's never experienced anything like this. Just like you."  
She lifts her head, looking at Minghao after he says the last part.  
"You've never been able to communicate with those in limbo until now," he reminds her. "He's the first and only one you've been able to see and talk to. This is scary for you too."  
Y/N takes a moment to absorb Minghao's words, her mind racing. She lets out a small sigh, feeling the weight of the situation settle on her shoulders. “You’re right,” she concedes, her voice barely above a whisper. “Everything feels different this time.”  
Minghao nods, his expression softening with understanding. “You have a unique gift,” he reassures her gently. “One that can be a blessing and a burden. It's up to you how you see it.” 
As they sit together in comfortable silence for a moment longer, Y/N takes another sip of tea and gazes out the window pondering her next steps. 
“I guess it’s time for me to embrace this gift,” she murmurs quietly, more to herself than anyone else. 
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Standing under the shelter of the bus stop, Y/N gazes up at the cherry blossom trees across the street with curiosity. They weren't due to bloom for another 3-5 months. Summer was over and autumn had just started. As she stands there, a gentle breeze rustles the leaves, sending a flurry of pink petals dancing through the air and across the street. Y/N reaches out instinctively, letting a few of the delicate petal's land in her palm. It feels like a sign—a reminder that beauty can exist even in confusion and uncertainty.  
“Maybe it’s all connected,” she muses aloud to herself, her mind going back to the strange man who pointed out that the cherry blossoms were blooming early and Jeonghan. “The blooming trees, the strange man, Jeonghan’s situation…”  
As if on cue, the wind picks up again, swirling around her and causing more petals to flutter down like soft rain. It feels almost magical. She takes another deep breath, letting the sweet scent of cherry blossoms fill her lungs. It's always been one of her favourite scents.  
'He also said the only person who can see me will know his name.' she repeats Jeonghan's words from the night before in her mind. But she doesn't know his name. "Could I be the wrong person? Maybe there is someone else out there?" she questions herself. “Either way, I have to figure out what's going on.”  
Just then, a soft voice interrupts her thoughts. “You know,” it says playfully, “if you keep talking to yourself like that, people might start thinking you’re losing it.” 
Startled, Y/N turns to see a familiar face leaning casually against the bus stop sign—it's none other than Jihoon. His mischievous grin makes her feel instantly lighter. “Ya! Jihoon-ah! What are you doing here?” she scolds him, unable to hide her relief. 
“I just finished grabbing something to eat at the cafe up the road,” he replies with a shrug. “I saw you so I thought I would see if you needed a ride home but then I got distracted by your deep philosophical pondering.” He gestures toward the swirling petals. “Cherry blossoms in autumn? Now that’s something worth contemplating.” 
Y/N chuckles, grateful for his light-heartedness. “That’s for sure,” she agrees, and then hesitates for a moment before deciding to share some of what’s been happening. “I'm dealing with something I didn't think was possible," she begins. "The man I mentioned last night, Yoon Jeonghan. He's in limbo but I can see him and communicate with him. That's never happened before." 
"He's not dead?" Jihoon asks surprised by her revelation.  
She shakes her head. "He's in a coma but he's very much alive." 
Jihoon raises an eyebrow, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. “So, he’s stuck somewhere between life and death?” He leans closer, clearly intrigued. "Could he be the ghost you fall in love with? There's-" 
"Jihoon-ah, stop it," she cuts him off with an annoyed groan and a light smack against his shoulder.  
He chuckles, clearly unfazed by her reaction. “I’m just saying, girl meets ghost and falls in love and brings him back to life. You know, the typical forbidden lover's trope.” 
“Not helping,” Y/N replies with a playful roll of her eyes, but she can’t suppress the smile tugging at her lips. Jihoon always had a way of lightening the mood, even in the most serious situations. It's one of the things she loves the most about him. 
"What's he like?" he asks, his curiosity getting the better of him. 
"I'm pretty sure he's a menace to society," she tells him. "But maybe not in a bad way. He has an angelic face so maybe there's a good guy under it all." 
"Sounds like your type," Jihoon chuckles. 
"Don't you have a song to be working on?" she asks, trying to sound annoyed by his teasing.  
Their light-hearted banter fades slightly as Jihoon looks at his watch. "I should head back to the studio. Do you want a ride home?" 
"I'm good with catching the bus," she assures him.  
"Okay. Don't wait up for me tonight. I won't be home until late," he lets her know, before lifting his hand to his cheek making a heart. "Wooahae. Be safe." 
Instead of doing the wooahae back to him, she opts for Soonyoung's horanghae pose, earning a playful offend look from him. She changes it to a wooahae as he begins to walk backwards. Pleased, he turns around, walking the right way back to his studio, leaving Y/N alone. Once again, her thoughts are consumed by the cherry blossoms and Jeonghan. 
But before she gets too deep in her mind, her phone buzzes in her pocket, jolting her from her thoughts. She pulls it out and sees a message from her mum asking her if she's free for lunch tomorrow. "Aish," she groans, already knowing her mother's intentions. Deciding to reply to her later, she puts her phone back in her pocket just as the bus arrives to take her back home.   
As she boards the bus, Y/N settles into a window seat, her thoughts swirling like the petals outside. The gentle hum of the engine and the soft chatter of passengers create a comforting backdrop. 
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Entering the apartment, Y/N's stomach rumbles when the aroma of Mingyu's cooking wafts through the air, hitting her nose. She walks into the kitchen and dining area and is immediately met with the sight of Mingyu bustling around the kitchen, his back turned to her as he stirs something in a pot. The sound of sizzling fills the air, and she can’t help but smile at how the chef always manages to turn their small kitchen into a culinary wonderland.  
“Hey, chef!” she calls out, leaning against the kitchen counter, to get a look at what recipe he was trying out now. “What’s cooking? It smells amazing!”  
"I'm trying out this new recipe. I'm hoping if it works out, I can add it to the restaurant's menu," he says, turning around to face her with a spoonful of broth in his hand, "Try this," he tells her holding the spoon out towards her.  
She takes the spoon from him and with caution, she brings it to her lips. A burst of flavour hits her tongue. The heat from the spices and the tangy kick of kimchi makes her feel all warm and cozy inside. “That's amazing!” she exclaims, placing the spoon into the sink with the other dirty dishes. “You add that to the menu, and I'll be there every night.”  
"Yeah?" he asks making sure, she wasn't just messing with him. "You like it that much?"  
"100%" she assures him, truly loving everything culinary creation Mingyu cooks. Mingyu beams at her approval before he returns to stirring. As she moves to sit on one of the kitchen bar stools, she watches him work, admiring how effortlessly he moves in the kitchen. Her friend was clearly born for the culinary arts.  
"It smells so good in here," Soonyoung says announcing his arrival home as he walks into the kitchen. He places a kiss to the side of Y/N's head as he passes on the way to the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. 
"Have you two had dinner yet?" Mingyu asked them, removing the pot from the stove.  
Y/N shakes her head, a playful smile spreading across her face. "I feel like I haven't eaten all day.”  
Soonyoung raises an eyebrow, looking at her concerned. “Are you skipping meals again? What's going on?"  
Mingyu chuckles as he starts plating the food. “Just some typical Y/N drama,” he says with a wink, knowing that whatever it is, she’ll share it when she’s ready.  
"The usual ghost stuff," she tries to reassure him. "Nothing I can't handle."  
"You'll let us know if you need help, right?" Soonyoung asks. She replies with a nod.  
Soonyoung and Mingyu, being her longest friends along with Jihoon, know all about her 'gift'. They found out not long after they became friends when she was struggling with a persistent ghost that was borderline stalking and harassing her because his message to his family hadn't gone how he expected it to go. He blamed it on her. But she eventually got through to the man's son, helping him to move on. She was pretty sure Soonyoung and Jihoon were about to have her committed to a psych ward in the earlier months of their friendship.  
Y/N watches as Mingyu plates the food, her stomach rumbling in anticipation. The aroma fills the kitchen, blending with the comforting chatter of her friends. She feels a little lighter just being around them. "Is Jihoon home?" Soonyoung asks, looking around for their missing friend.  
"He told me he’s having a late night at the studio," Y/N answers as Mingyu hands her a bowl of his latest recipe.  
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The next day being another day off for Y/N, she makes her way to the hospital with a new sense of purpose and arriving just as visiting hours are starting. She makes her way up to the floor Jeonghan’s on, this time wearing a pair of sunglasses to avoid making eye contact with the other ghosts. The elevator reaches the floor, the doors opening with a ding. Y/N steps out of the elevator, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves. The sterile smell of antiseptic fills the air as she walks down the corridor, her footsteps echoing softly against the linoleum floors. She can feel the familiar weight of uncertainty pressing on her chest, but she pushes it aside, reminding herself that today is about finding out everything that happened to Jeonghan that night. 
"Sorry, I didn't come and see-" she started but quickly stopped when she found a young woman around her age sitting next to Jeonghan's bed, his ghostlike figure standing behind her looking beyond angry. 
"Get her out of here," he tells Y/N, a malice filling his voice. 
Taking off her sunglasses, she bows to the woman as she looks from Jeonghan's ghost to the woman. The woman stands up greeting her.
"Are you his new girlfriend?" the woman asks, surprising Y/N with her straight forwardness. 
Y/N hesitates, eyes darting between the woman and Jeonghan who's shaking his head, glaring daggers at the woman. "No," she replies after a moment. "I'm just a... a friend. Choi Y/N." 
The woman holds her hand out towards Y/N, introducing herself. "I'm Kim Mi-cha. Jeonghan's fiancee." 
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TAG LIST:
@carattinymoa - @choppedballoondetective - @rainyday-daydreamer - @reiofsuns2001 - @woncheecks
@shuaserendipity95 - @astuteataraxy - @hollxe1 - @everythingboutkpop - @lixisoul99 -
@hipsdofangirl - @cookiearmy - @reiofsuns2001 - @carattinymoakpopficrecs - @kpopdramaficrecs
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zevrans-archive · 1 year ago
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i realized i got actually better at bg3 combat on this 2nd playthrough because all the fights i found hard on my 1st playthrough are like a piece of cake now and i win on a first try😳
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lilacerull0 · 1 year ago
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ahhhh just laid my soul bare
#jo in the tardis*#i think i can finally live again now. i haven't been able to since i left this place a month ago#because i experience everything too deeply and i experience it both in advance and in retrospect#and nothing happening was unbearable to me less than a year ago... and then thing started happening#and they weren't as overwhelming because i was living them as they were happening#but now it's like i switched back to reading my own story and i'm in constant fear of every chapter's end#like... i'll be sitting in that amphitheatre feeling like i could start crying any second because it will be over#and there will be next year but it won't be THIS year#and that isn't even the main issue... whatever happens in academic spaces is easy to me no matter how hard#because no matter how challenged i am there i am challenged in a way that i can easily understand#it's my primary mechanism. to be the person that wants to learn. and wants to love what others know#and i think the issue with my hypothesis regarding why i have a hard time Being There wasn't that i#SHOULDN'T be the person who has to be so devoted to everything but that i should accept myself as that person instead#like hey this is me. and i shouldn't get too deep about it.#i think the very reason why i was able to enjoy going back home was the fact that i didn't wanna go back#because that allowed me to feel that emotion in the right moment aka as it happened to me#i just... live for that feeling of... maybe... maybe i can just get out right now and pack almost nothing in my bag and go somewhere#i don't ever have to do it but the very idea that i could is enough for me...#i kind of wandered off here to talk about everything that's wrong with me lmao but yeah. i said it out loud earlier#for the first time and it's easier now
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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#had more to say about that last post#like. they (my in-laws) haven't once mentioned the fact that I finally finally finally had my last exam and passed and will be getting my#degree now#we told them. they were just like 'oh okay what profession does that make you now?' I have a bachelor's degree in business administration..#it's not like. oh you're an electrician now. or something. they know this. we have told them many times#they didn't congratulate me. they weren't understanding about how hard the last couple months have been (with my thesis and the exam WHILE#finding an apartment and then preparing to move out and then actually doing that)#no all I got was judgmental comments because I didn't have everything ready and packed when we were moving out#look! I know I'm awful! I know I'm probably just a lazy bitch! but I couldn't fucking do any more!#I'm tired all day every day. I can't move around much before I feel so exhausted and dizzy that I have to stop.#I feel like absolute shit for not getting everything done!#but yes sure just keep telling me that. maybe that'll make my body get better just because it makes me feel bad :)#literally their view on everything is basically 'just do it. and do it correctly. the exact same way we would do it.'#like. oh yeah everything is just that easy! and if you don't do it all perfectly you're trash. you're disgusting. you're LAZY and that's#awful#the only thing that matters in life is your job. it has to be your whole life and your entire personality and the only thing you are proud#of. you are alive to work. the only thing that matters is how your employer feels about you.#it's fucking exhausting.#I know what they think about me. I know they think I'm bad. like these people have known me for ten years. they have seen that I've#struggled with a bunch of different physical health issues. and it just does not matter! I'm just supposed to do everything anyway!#literally every time it comes up they're like 'why can't you do this thing that requires a lot of hand strength?' hello? my hands have been#fucked up for like 12 years. you know this.#so have my feet. no I'm not going for a fucking one hour walk with you guys. yes obviously I can walk that long. no I'm not gonna do it!#it HURTS. I have to carefully weigh it up and decide if it's worth being in pain for at least the next day!#but no there's absolutely no compassion or understanding. just contempt. they don't hide it at all#I'm so tired of this family#honestly? if my husband had a different (nice. warm. kind) family I would probably feel differently about him. though he'd also be#completely different then. his parents are the opposite of mine but they still fucked him up so bad.#anyway I'm done complaining for now. because I'm tired & I'll probably fall asleep again soon.#I really really hate my life tbh
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secondpersonpoetry · 1 year ago
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Franziska Linkerhand, Brigitte Reimann
#do you ever start reading a novel and not even get past the first page before shrieking 'LEON'#incredibly niche content. this is for real just for me#and i understand this HOWEVER it bothered me and rotated in my brain so much i NEEDED to come put this here. stupid!!! hrrrggggghhhrrrh!!!!#and i was just going to put the verdreifachen line and i'm not happy with how it's edited but it's FINE everything's fine it's just.#LEON.#and like granted does this totally hold true no i don't think so it just slots into the terrible terrible universe of quotes i have for him#but i can't articulate it right. also we're throwing this into the Heimat thesis breakdown pile for leon &wherever the brainworms r crawlin#<- that is the one i mean thank you. yelling into the void ash & alice u will never be forgiven for starting this ily#ich möchte mein Leben verdreifachen / um nachzuholen / die lange lange Zeit / als es dich nicht gab#do i put this on the actual hockey blog to have the breakdown there and figure out what i mean? maybe.#but then i KNOW i'd have to translate it so people can read it and already i wouldn't know if i want to say my life in triplicate#or my life thrice over and if it's there was no you or you weren't there. save me translation theory save me (smacks me with a steel chair)#also it is SO raw.#i'm not afraid of the present but the memories i can't fight back against the pictures in ur head i can't see a pain i did not share w/ u..#and i do think the reason it hits so hard as a c/l to me is maybe the idea of this not as i didn't know you then at all#but that they did grow up together. and it's that he didn't have him in the way he does now he doesn't know him like he does now and now#he has to think about the life he had with connor&he want to do it once / twice over now to know to make up for the time he missed with him#but it also falls into the one in every dream i have of you you are making breakfast that even when i dream i'm dreaming of you inside them#(the life thrice over)#anyway. multitude of others it could be however bc it's auf Deutsch it got assigned leon even if it may not fit as perfectly. OH TIME LOOPS#THE JAMIE/TREVOR DUAL TIME LOOPS FIC OH MY GOD YEAH THAT'S THIS HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO GET TO TIME LOOPS WITH LIFE THRICE OVER yesss
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 4 months ago
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Co Parents To Lovers Again (part 2)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: fluff (smut in the next part)
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part 1
It's been three days since the unfortunate misunderstanding with Charles and you haven't heard from him at all since.
You were overthinking the whole situation that happened on Sunday and couldn't come to any proper conclusion. At the same time, you were sad because he thought you would bring someone else into your bed, even though it wasn't your shared bed anymore, but you couldn't believe that he thought so little of you after all the years you'd spent together.
And yet on the other hand, you were thinking like any woman, you were glad that he was jealous and that the very thought of someone replacing him bothered him because that only meant he wasn't over you and that he still wanted to make things right between you two. Basically, you were torn between your brain and your heart once again and it was just a matter of what would prevail between the two this time.
Even though deep down you knew you couldn't fight yourself. You broke up over some disagreements that when you look at things more closely weren't worth destroying your relationship and your little family. You were both stubborn, he was a little too possessive, you were lacking in understanding, parenting, you spent most of your time alone with Lou and everything came together and exploded.
Now that you look back on the whole year you spent without him, you know that as hard as it is sometimes to be with him, it's ten times harder to be without him. You realize that you both made a rash decision, but then again maybe it had to happen only to make you realize how much you need each other in every way possible.
It's Wednesday night and while you're preparing tonight's dinner and tomorrow's lunch, Lou is sitting at the dining room table drawing. Soon your cooking is interrupted by the ringing of your phone on the kitchen island. A strange feeling comes over you as you wipe your hands on a dish towel and look at your phone only to see Charles' name on the screen.
You want to answer the phone, but you don't want the conversation to end in an argument so before you pick up the phone, you take a deep breath and try to calm down and strengthen your voice so it doesn't sound shaky.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." He says it in a completely normal, calm tone and you're grateful for that.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Umm, I'm leaving tomorrow for the race so I was wondering if you could put Lou on the facetime so I can see her since I won't be able to have her for the weekend?" He asks.
"Sure, just let me switch to facetime."
Once you did, Charles face appeared on the screen and he smiled when he saw yours too. You tried to hide the blush on your face and quickly walked over to Lou putting the phone in front of her.
"Baby, daddy wants to talk to you" You said setting the phone in front of her and leaving them alone to talk.
Since the kitchen and dining room were connected, you went back into the kitchen and could hear everything the two of them were saying. You didn't want to eavesdrop, but you kinda did.
"Hey, daddy!" Lou exclaimed excitedly.
"Mon ange, what are you doing?"
"I'm drawing and-and mommy is cooking" She says.
"Yeah? What are you drawing?"
"I'm drawing you in a red car. See" She says putting up the paper in front of the camera for him to see.
"Good job, baby. It looks great!"
"It's for you, I will give it to you when you come get me" She says forgetting that she won't be spending the weekend with him.
"Thank you, baby, but unfortunately we won't be together this weekend because papa has to work, but we'll see each other next week, okay?"
"Oh.." She pouts.
"Don't be sad, we'll see each other very soon, okay? I miss you so much and I'm thinking of you all the time."
Your heart is completely softened by his words and the immeasurable amount of love he has for your daughter.
"I miss you too, daddy"
"Okay, baby. I'll talk to you soon, I love you."
"Bye, I love you too." She says waving her hand as he blows her a kiss.
You watch her from afar and see how her mood immediately changed when she heard that she wouldn't be seeing him. Shaken by emotions, you move closer to her and squat down next to her.
"What's wrong, bug?" You ask her.
She doesn't look at you but frowns looking down at drawing on the paper in front of her.
"I miss papa" She says, hear eyes filled with tears.
"Can I tell you a little secret?" You say and she nods. "I miss papa too." You whisper making her look at you.
"Would you like to watch him race this weekend?"
"You mean on the TV?" She asks.
"No, I mean how about we go and see him?" You suggest and her eyes light up.
"Really?!"
"Would you like that?"
"Yes, yes! And I can give him this!" She says excitedly and you chuckle at how sweet she is.
"Then we have a deal. Now, finish up your drawing and go wash your hands because dinner is almost ready okay?"
"Okay, mommy. Thank you"
Nothing can compare to the happiness you feel when you see your daughter happy. Both you and Charles would do anything for her, and that's why you decided to quickly run upstairs to your bedroom, turn the hoodie right side out.
When a print of an F1 car was visible on the black hoodie, you took a picture of it and sent it to Charles without any additional explanation, because you knew that everything would be clear as a day to him once he saw it.
After just a few minutes, your phone vibrated in your hands.
'Been looking for it for a while now..' Charles' message said.
'I really fucked up this time, didn't I?' He added.
'You kinda did.' You replied.
'I'm so sorry, y/n..'
'You're lucky your daughter adores you so much and you better send a plane for the two of us so we can make it to the race on time.'
part 3
@charlesgirl16 @aleatorio1234 @teamnovalak @watermelonslut @diaryofarandomkid @sunny44 @tempo-rary-fix @ggaslyp1 @janeh22 @seonghwaexile @seasonswinter @itgirlofthecenturysposts @ricciardosredbull @amz824 @sarx164
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notquitecanon · 4 months ago
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Dense // Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Summary: A pretty little thing like you isn't flirting with Ghost? Are you?
Based off a prompt that's been a worm in my brain since 8th grade (I'm 25 now) and I'm probably going to write the same exact thing from the other POV.
TW: none, just a little fluffy hopefully funny insight into Simon's thought process.
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God, Lieutenant Riley was dense.
That's what most people thought after watching him interact with you for longer than three minutes at a time. You'd been working in communications for two years now, mostly dealing with Captain Price but Ghost was always lurking around somewhere nearby. You'd been warned to avoid him.
He's mean, He's surly, he'll bite your head right off. He's dangerous blah blah blah...
What they didn't consider was that he was a tree of a man- tall, dark, and mysterious with pretty eyes. And you had little to no survival instincts when it came to a man who knew how to shut the fuck up.
It was obvious to anyone who watched you interact with him for any amount of time. How you stood closer to him than need be, how you watched him through your lashes when he spoke his few words to you, the way your voice changed when you spoke to him. Then it was the little touches and little gifts, sitting with him at empty tables when others would turn and walk the other way. You were so sweet on him, maybe even smitten with him.
Ghost never seemed to notice, and if he did he didn't pay it much mind. Just assumed you were just one of those chatty and nice people he seemed to attract every now and then- like Price or Soap. It didn't hurt either that you were sweet & pretty & and smelled good... no, didn't hurt at all and certainly didn't mean anything.
He brushed off Johnny and Gaz's teasings, met Price's knowing looks with icy glares. You definitely weren't flirting with him. There was no way someone like you was pursuing someone like him romantically. That was... ridiculous. Right?
Still. Something about that idea scratched his brain just right. Planted a seed that you unknowingly watered with sweet smiles and bright eyes. So, he started paying more attention.
You never got Price's attention by lingering a small, warm hand on the Captain's bicep- but you did with Ghost. You were chatty with Gaz, but never so much so that you made yourself late to other engagements- Ghost was losing track of the times you'd been chatting at with him only to look at your watch and scurry off with hot cheeks. And Soap could make you laugh, but he never got your cheeks to turn that pretty pink color- Ghost rarely saw you without rosy cheeks. Hmmm... Interesting.
So, he watched and observed (pined and yearned, more accurately). Until one day when he noticed how you flipped your hair over your shoulder as you spoke to him, direct eye contact through fluttering lashes, the dilation of your eyes.
"You have such pretty eyes-" You barely finished your statement before he interjected. He cut you off before you could even giggle, voice stern and hard and quick as those pretty dangerous eyes narrowed in a way that would have chased anyone else off. Not you though.
"Are you flirting with me?"
He asked, taking a looming step closer to you where you were standing by the breakroom coffee machine. He expected you to stutter out an excuse or apologize, or even frantically excuse yourself. He did not expect you to sigh, almost in relief(?) with that bright smile of yours.
"I have been for the last two years." You breathe in admittance, "But thanks for noticing now."
Bloody hell, you were trying to kill him.
----
I wrote this instead of paying attention in lecture
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infiniteglitterfall · 1 year ago
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
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I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
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cream1111 · 1 month ago
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🍎 phone call. . .ᐟᅟ
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⠀⎯⎯⠀⠀caleb/mc!reader, 1.6k, incest, somno, dubcon, mutual masturbation, phone sex, pillow humping. @rukii-afterdark , order up! ! part 1
ring ring . . .
you jolt up, eyes popping open before they settle onto your phone, with a groan you pull it closer. squinting  your  sleepy  eyes  at  the  bright  screen, you see the caller's name. caleb. you sigh, it's  1am,  much  later  than  he  usually  calls. you answer and let the phone fall next to your head.
“gege,  why  are  you  calling  so  late?”  you  whine, fighting back a yawn.
“aw,  did  i  wake  you? you sound like you're half asleep”  caleb  sounds teasing but sympathetic, and  slightly  out  of  breath...  maybe  he's  settling  into  bed  himself.
“yeah  a  bit,"  you groan a bit, your annoyed tone remaining playful "but  it's  ok…  what's  up?”  you  ask,  closing  your  eyes,  and  snuggling  back  into  your  bed.  letting  your  phone  rest  on  the  pillow  next  to  your head. 
“it's nothing serious,  i just missed  you,  l⎯”  his  breath  hitches. you  peek  your  eyes  open and  glance  at  your  phone, wondering if the call dropped. you don't have the volume very high, so you're not sure. you  pull  it  closer,  it looks like the call is still going. you press it against your ear.  it's not entirely silent, there's  a  shuffling  sound,  but it's  faint.
“are  you  ok?”  you  murmur,  confused. the shuffling seems to stop, but it's hard to tell under the barely audible droning static his mic is picking up. you let your eyes drift shut again.
“sorry,  yeah,  just,  long  day.”  he  replies  quickly,  his  voice  sounding  more  strained.  “what  about  you?  miss  me?” 
“of  course,  everyday,  you  know  that.” you'd roll your eyes if they weren't already closed. as much as you love talking to caleb, you really are tired. "listen, it's late⎯"
"i know, pipsqueak. i'm sorry for waking you. i just wanted to hear your voice." there's a tinge of urgency to his voice. you would've hurried to hang up if you didn't notice it. it makes you feel a bit guilty. he pauses, you wait to see if he'll say more. "how about this, how about you just go back to sleep but keep me on call. hearing your sleepy breathing always puts me at ease"
is that all?
"you're so cheesy," you tease. then you hum, pretending to think about it. but you're just as bad as he is, you can't ever say no to him. "yeah, fine, but i'm really going to bed, you better not keep talking to me. i won't even answer, i'll just snore"
he let's out a soft chuckle. "that's fine, snore all you like" he replies. "sleep well" he whispers, honey sweet. he's always been so sweet with you.
"goodnight" you mumble, already feeling the drowsiness washing over you. you try to quell the small excitement that caleb even wants to do something so lovey dovey with you. it warms your heart a bit, not that you'd admit it out loud. even though it's not that much of a leap, you've fallen asleep together so many times, something about it feels a little more intimate. that he misses you enough to try and pretend you're both sharing a bed. it makes it easier to pretend he is here, he's home and he's with you, keeping you warm.
your breathing evens out, you almost forget you're on the phone.
. . .
through your sleep you hear something, softly, distant. you focus, waking just a bit. you're alone. but you remember you fell asleep on the phone with caleb. is he talking? something woke you, you're pretty sure. you rouse yourself, focusing, listening.
nothing. it might've been in your dream. though you figure you'll scold him anyways, tell him to keep quiet or you'll mute him. but then you hear it again, clearer now.
"h-hah..."
no way. there's no way, is he⎯
"ah⎯ fuck"
you freeze. a blush heating up your face. you shift closer, turning up the volume as quietly as you can. just to be sure. you hear the sound of something moving, fast, wet. he's...
he's jacking off. it sounds so obvious now. the soft panting, the rhythmic sound of his hand on his well lubricated cock. a heat surrounds you, you feel like you're suffocating at the implication. there's also a gnawing unease, that you're misinterpreting this and there's some reasonable explanation that you are blind to. maybe you're just hearing what you want to hear.
you've always wanted him, more than a sister should. you rationalize it sometimes, you're not siblings, not really. it's not hard to want him, it seems just about every girl at his school would agree with you. but the shame helps you weigh those thoughts down, tuck them away in a deep corner of your mind. your relationship is unconventional, but you're just close, you just love each other, would do anything for each other, there's nothing wrong with it. you've held onto this justification for a long time.
but maybe it's a lot simpler than that.
you're not entirely sure about what's happening, if he's doing what you think he's doing. but… it couldn't hurt to pretend.
your rationalizations fade, you push the shame to the side, and you dip your fingers, along your chest, slowly, savoring the feeling. focusing on the panting, the faint sound of his hand.
your fingers dance along your skin, you're teasing yourself, until you slip them past your pajamas, over your panties. you palm yourself, rubbing, imagining the sweet friction was against him, anywhere — his hand, his thigh, his face. you realize, rather quickly, a wet spot has already formed, and you flush, feeling embarrassed with yourself.
did just the thought of him, the sound of him, do this to you?
when did you become so dirty.
you can't help the soft noise that leaves your lips at your discovery, and you realize suddenly that caleb quiets on the other the line.
you pause as well. holding your breath. for a second you can't hear anything. does he think you're awake? does he think you're doing the same thing? does he want to end the call?
"f-fuck..." he moans out, the sounds from before continue, faster, more enthusiastic. you're not sure what he thinks, but whatever it is, he's keeping it to himself.
the idea of him getting more excited, it lights a fire in you. you rub yourself faster. you try to be quiet, you really do, but you can't help the huffs and sighs that leave your lips. it's not that obvious, you think. but caleb seems to get more eager with every tiny sound you make. it's good incentive.
you can't help but think about the situation, both of you touching yourselves while on the phone, not acknowledging it, leaving room for plausible deniability. the idea that you're reading this wrong sends a shiver down your spine.
“ngh.. please” he whispers, barely there. and you don’t know what he’s begging for but you want to give it to him. you rub harder, then sigh in frustration. it's not enough. you flip, shifting onto your stomach, trying your hardest to stay quiet. you place a pillow between your legs, and waste no time before grinding against it.
you huff, loving the feeling. even if you're misunderstanding this, you like pretending. that it was his warm body heating you up, making you feel good. with your phone placed next to your ear, you imagine he was there, groaning behind you, just out of sight, touching himself for you.
you let out a whimper at the thought, a little louder. his response is immediate, a low groan. to your surprise, he speaks.
"you⎯ mm... you must be having a nice dream, pipsqueak."
you bite your lip and keep still at his words. does he want you to respond? does he really think you're still sleeping? you don't want to acknowledge it. you continue, quieter, a little shy. you don't want the illusion shattered. grinding your hips into the mattress, desperate.
you imagine his body, and it's not hard. you've memorized the feeling of his frame against yours. he's pressing into you, in time with his groans, you move at the same pace, whimpering when you buck back against the empty air. but you pull yourself back into your fantasy, he's there, his soft sounds are for you, only you.
"fuck," he hisses out, seeming to bite back the sound.
it's becoming too much, your mind is getting so cloudy, reason and shame seem like distant concepts. in this moment, it’s just the pleasure between you two, his touch, his kiss, his body, him.
"i'm— i'm gonna-" his whispers spur you over the edge.
you can barely hear his grunts as he releases with you. your mind goes blank. you don't bother with being quiet, couldn't if you wanted to. you rut helplessly, greedily, panting and whimpering all the while. as satisfaction washing over you. he hums, before letting out a satisfied sigh himself, and you smile sleepily into your pillow.
but as your heartbeat slows into a regular rhythm, and your face cools down, you're left with a pit in your stomach. the room feels colder, the call is quiet, the guilt comes rushing back all at once with nothing to keep it at bay. did you two really just do that? were you really that reckless?
what are you going to do in the morning?
"shit, i made a mess." he mumbles, but he doesn't sound too upset about it. in fact he sounds a little smug. you don't reply, but it calms you a bit, brings you comfort. a vague acknowledgement at this new game you two are playing. with all it's plausible deniability. you decide you'll follow his lead.
so when he yawns, you let the sound soothe you, you let sleep surround you. you leave your shame to him. he's always been the source, he can shoulder it for you.
it's only fair anyways, you were just sleeping, and he's the one who called you.
he made the mess, he can decide if he wants to clean it up.
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nemesyaaa · 7 months ago
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buffalo'66 au ! old!serial killer! rafe x young!sugardoll!reader
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warnings : daddy issues/kink. slight of rafe having a god complex. smut. sick love/obssession/behavior. age gap. size kink. gunplay. spit. mean!dark!rafe. mentions of kidnapping/murdering. dark content. be careful with the warnings.
author's note : i think a lot about rafe having a god complex. and the way it could fix him to have a girl who cherish him and love him like he's just the only one. as the same i think a lot of rafe being a cult!leader with a sweet lamb. anyways, enjoy !
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you knew you weren't allowed to touch his gun, but you couldn't pretend that the forbidden rules didn't excite you either. the proof being that you were still with rafe even though he had kidnapped you. you had found the glock in the drawer, and now you were having fun with it to the point where you hadn't heard your jailer come home. you were too captivated by the handgun to pay attention to that.
“ will you teach me how to shoot ? ” you asked in a soft tone.
“ obviously not. but i can swear to you that if you don't put the gun right in my hand in a second, i will show you how i use it. especially on a little tiny thing like you. now stop playing and give it to me, sugardoll. i already told you to not get on my nerves. ”
“ are you a serial killer or something ? ” you said to him, not aware about his job.
“ no obviously, i'm a babysitter. see ? how well i care about little silly girls ? ” he answered with the most sarcastic tone. “ i think you already know what i am, but you like playing dumb. because you're desperate for my attention. you need me to explain things, to satisfy your need of validation. that's right ? ”
he moved from his place, and placed himself behind you, your small body caged against his bigger size. you could feel all the pressure of his strength on you, and you started to shiver when his breath came near to your ears.
“ since you want to play with daddy's gun so bad, i'm willing to give you what you want. ”
“ no, i don't want to play anymore ! ”
“ oh i'm afraid to tell it's too easy like that, sugar. the game doesn't stop when you decide. the game stops when i’m done playing. got it ? nod your head if you got it.”
you really started to be his doll, accepting to nod whenever he wants, to use you whenever he feels the need, to move whenever he decides. when you nodded your head, giving him a little look, he grabbed the gun.
“ you will kill me ? don't, i can be good ! ”
“ you can ? no, you will. choose your words better, sugardoll. why are you crying right now ? the worse it yet to come actually. now, open that pretty mouth of yours. ”
you refused, shaking your head. you were terrified that he would kill you.
“ i said open it. if i have to repeat it, i swear that i will snap dry this gun further in your cunt, and everytime a sound will come out your mouth, pushing it deeper inside. do you understand me ? now, don't you want to be a baby sugardoll, full of kindness and sweetness ? show me how sweet and pretty you are for me. and listen to me. ”
with tears on your cheeks, you slowly opened your mouth. you could feel rafe’s smile against your neck. you were so submissive, the perfect victim. he had chosen you well the day he saw you. like a true serial killer, he never missed his prey.
“ this is why you call me sugardoll ? ”
“ see ? i'm good enough to give you a nickname. ”
it was sick but you smiled, you felt like you were special in his eyes. maybe rafe had a collection of little dolls but you felt unique.
“ don't kill me. i'm begging you. ”
“ fuck, you don't know how hard you make me when you're desperate like that. but trust me, i will make you see soon how good you make me feel. it will be your reward for being this sweet for me, sugardoll.”
he spread your legs, holding them wide with his strong hand covering your trembling thigh while his other hand brought the front of the gun down onto your skin. passing the coldness of steel across your tummy, while you shivered at the thought of dying. when he got to your underwear. you had heard his smirk.
"oh sure, you don't want to die. you want to be fucked. it's so wet here, i could stick the gun in without even preparing you, it would slide off so easily.” his mocked tone made you yelp.
“ i'm not controlling myself ! ”
“ and you don't need too. let me take care of you. keep your mouth open. i will put my gun in. ”
“ i can't do this ! it seems very dangerous…”
“ then suck it well, sugar. especially, if you don't want me to empty the gun on your gorgeous throat. ” he warned you, while pressing his lips on your neck. it was not a kiss, but you were so soft for this little touch. you wanted to please him, to see him proud of you.
he rushed the pistol between your wet plump lips, and you almost choked on it. “ be careful, doll, daddy's gun it's loaded. ” he said with a smile that made your tears even saltier.
while you had started to do your job, his fingers were lightly pressed on the surface, fiddled with the trigger. he loved seeing your petrified eyes, he loved feeling your blood freeze inside your veins, the way you resembled a frightened and helpless animal. you were defenseless and he had no limits.
you lapped at the cold metal at first, your tongue rolling over the barrel, swirling like a needy pet, and licking every bit of the object. you didn't waste anything, moistening the weapon with your own spit, some trails dripped down your tits. rafe had pushed the gun farther, almost into your throat. you choked, a trail of saliva raining over your jaw.
there was nothing amusing about it, but he found it fun. you sucked like your life depended on it even though let's be honest, it did. you moved back and forth quickly, rushed every movement with a softly sloppy gasp. he loved, no he adored the view of your ruined face and your mouth stuffed by the cold weapon. your great job made his dick painfully hard. you could feel the gun under your tongue, and the way it abused you. you drooled, a batch of saliva engulfing one side of the charger.
“ slow down, sugardoll, you're about to melt. ”
you felt dirty for being turned on by something so humiliating, the way you were pathetic for every single thing he introduced you to. it was as if he knew what you wanted, and how to exploit it. he could destroy you as well as shape you. you were nothing but the doll he wanted to play with. he knew more than anyone how to make you feel good. he knew well how to play with his toys.
you were killing him slowly with the way you were going about it, your pink tongue tickling the barrel, your mouth swallowing the entirety of his gun. every inch moved in and out of your parted lips. you lost count of the number of times you almost choked to the point you could throw up, you did your best.
the cold air of the room hit the soaked fabric of your underwear. it had gotten so wet down there.
you tried to focus on this dangerous game but you saw his bulge growing, his crotch distorting his pants.
“ keep sucking, i'm not done. ”
“ but ..."
he ignored you and took off his pants and boxers, freeing his hard cock. the next minute he was inside you, completely buried to the point where you could feel him all the way to your stomach. you salivated on the handgun, making a rain all over it.
as he filled you up, his thick cock abusing your tight pussy, the position was totally different, you were lying there, still the gun in your mouth, but now he was fucking you. his eyes were on you, and you could feel that motivating him even more to pounded you. your juices pooled on the surface the deeper he went. the slobber gathered around the metal. he rushed away your tears with his thumb.
“ stop whining, sugardoll. you can't cry when daddy takes you so well. ”
you really wanted to listen to him but it was too much for you. you were full of tears and they constantly wanted to come out, even when you felt good. but it was like the more you cried, the more he bullied your pussy, and by that, giving you more reasons to whine.
“ jesus, i'm pretty sure that you really like that gun in your mouth. ” he said with a firm thrust that made you squirm, your eyes wettering as the sentence. “ you like being this pathetic ? don't worry, i got you, i'm not judging you, but don't mind if i take advantage of it ? of course, you don't mind. you love being this sick, you're just a needy freak. ”
he pulled out before putting it back in you, inched himself deeper and deeper, letting you breathless. he was more rough this time, his fat length stretching you wider. his hips slammed your skin, his sweaty balls slapping you in motion. you nodded your head, your loud moans echoed in the empty room. his heavy hand on your tiny throat, pressuring it every time your walls tighten him.
his big other hand squeezing your small waist, as your core wrapped him harder. “ see ? daddy's making you a new home, right now. ”
his breath was heavy and short, the sweat of his body pressed against yours, while you were about to explode, so close to the orgasm. you were crying even more. and he covered your mouth with his large palm. he hitted the right spot again and again, without a break. you reached the second orgasm quickly, and you waited for him to explode at his turn. but he was taking his time on purpose. he obviously liked to abuse this little cunt of yours, wrecking like it was nothing your cervix. he glared at your glistening eyes with a proud face, while hurting your sloppy cunt. “ be patient, sugar. it's a matter of time but daddy will make you melt, and you will make a big mess on his dick to show how grateful you are ? ”
you didn’t answered, even when he released your mouth from his hands, because of the overheating.
“ you better answer because i can go to the next round. ”
“ yes .. yes !! ”
“ you're so naive, sugar. trusting me this easy, it's your own fault if old men like me use you. like did you really think we will not go on another round ? i'm about to make you dumb. not only your brain, your pussy, all of you. after this, you will not be able to think, to talk and even to walk. ”
your tears made him cum, and you let out a noisy and desperate whimper. “ it's sad for you that i'm the only god you can pray for, because i'm going to ignore all your prayers, making you on your knees every time for nothing more than my own good. sweet lamb, i'm such an uncaring god. but you can't hate on me, even a little, such a pretty precious thing you are. ”
“ why ? ” was the only word that came out of your mouth.
in fact, you were a little sad about this, because you wished that he cared a bit, even an hint about you.
“ nobody deserve you like i do. nobody deserve to touch you, or put an eyes on you, no one. you're just mine, and i need you to understand that clearly. do you got it ? do you even understand what i mean ? i will never let someone have you. never. ”
“ i really love you. ”
“ not only you love me, sugardoll. you adore me, you cherish me, you can't breath without me. do you understand ? how trapped i made you.”
“ bu…”
“ quit crying. you wanted this, you begged for. ”
“ i thought you only wanted to kill me ! ”
“if i wanted to kill you, it would already be done. i don't mind having blood in my hands, i'm a killer after all. but yours, i promise, i would never dream of, sugardoll. ”
it was very sick. but his words made you smile.
“ i want to hug you ! ”
“ don't make me regret my words. i still can choke you to death. ”
“ can i ask a question ? ”
“ jesus, if you don't yap more than a thousandth time each day, you're dead or what ? i swear, tell me your question, but choose it carefully because it will be the last. so, use your dumby brain very well. ”
“ i just wanted to know…if it's the first time you do this with one of your victims ? ”
“ why do you want to know ? ”
“ you need to answer ! ”
“ and you need to mind your own business. ”
“ i asked you a question ! it's not fair if you don't answer it ? ”
“ you better not try to raise your voice at me because i can shout, and trust me, the tears i will bring in your face will not be that pretty. ”
“ you're still mean to me…nothing has changed. ”
“ and you're still annoying. yes, nothing has changed.”
and you smiled at him, your sweet eyes melted on his unhichanged look.
“ someday i know you will love me too ! ”
“ bold to have faith, better to work on it, sugardoll. ”
you gave him a sweet look, even if he was grumpy, you wanted him.
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2K notes · View notes
avatarchic · 1 year ago
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— FOREIGNER
How the Karasuno boys would react to meeting Shoyo's foreign cousin.
— starring. karasuno boys x foreign exchange student!reader (separately), student teacher!reader in ukai's
— tags. fluff, first meetings, pining
— warnings. use of 'pretty' and 'cute' to describe reader, but no pronouns are used, you slap ryuu in his LOL, mild suggestive comment in ryuu's if you squint
— requested? yes! thank you so much for your request this was fun to write :)
— notes. some of these are longer than others sorry ADHKWH my biases are showing a lil // this ended up being a first meeting + how they act when they start crushing on you, but it they're so cute so i didnt wanna change it lolol
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daichi is whipped for you from the start
he doesn't show it (or he doesn't think he does) but he's attracted to you the second he lays eyes on you
he's extra sure to be polite to you, too embarrassed too show his brasher nature in case it scares you off
he loses his backbone whenever you're around
he needs to scold some of the first years for goofing off, but you're standing there? he's all sunshine and rainbows
when he finds out that you're a foreign exchange student, he's over the moon
he subtly finds out your classes from shoyo, who of course doesn't realize his intentions as he blurts out your schedule happily
he checks up on you often, making sure you're adjusting well to japan because "what kind of captain would he be if he let his underclassman's cousin have a hard time?"
the team is none the wiser, except for maybe koshi who sees through his shit immediately
he has a habit of patting your head as a greeting, even if he's just passing you in the hallways even if you complain about him messing up your hair
overall, he's super soft with you :)
sawamura daichi! was annoyed when he met you. shoyo hadn't shown up to practice and wasn't answering his phone, which left the captain ready to send the orange-haired freshman to an early grave. after kei made a smart remark that he saw shoyo lingering near the school entrance, he was on a mission to give the boy hell.
kei was right, of course. when daichi made his way to the entrance, he saw shoyo right away. he stomps over, lips parting to lecture the younger male about responsibilities when his eyes ghost over you. he stops short, shoyo's name barely dropping from his mouth as he pauses.
when you both turn to him, daichi feels his breath catch in his throat. it was clear that you weren't from around here. your odd sense of dress stuck out like a sore thumb—not to mention he had never seen you before. but if anything, he thought you were pretty.
"you're late for practice," daichi states lamely, barely managing to tear his gaze away from you to glower at shoyo. "i ought to put you on cleaning duty tonight."
the threat fell on deaf ears, shoyo's large grin unfaltering as he wraps an arm around your midsection in a tight hug. "captain! sorry, sorry," he apologizes, though the wide grin on his face told daichi he wasn't serious. "my cousin texted me that they were here, so i had to say hi!"
at his words, you finally snap out of your stupor, offering daichi a small smile. "i didn't realize he had practice. i wouldn't have called him out if i knew."
daichi presses his lips together, feeling his ears warm at your kind tone. "it's okay," he says softly. "i'll let him off for now. it's nice to meet you—i'm sawamura daichi."
when you introduce yourself, he finds himself repeating your name in his head.
"oi," he clears his throat, turning to shoyo with a deadpan expression. "c'mon. we're late enough already." daichi turns to bow his head at you politely, quickly turning around before you can see the warmth in his cheeks.
your sweet voice calls out a goodbye, and daichi decides then and there that he wants to get to know you better.
"hey, hey—why are you so red?"
"you're gonna shut up now if you want to go home early tonight."
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koshi didn't realize you were shoyo's cousin until after he got to know you a little
he couldn't help it—when he saw you he just thought you were super cute lmao
he fumbles a bit in front of you
he really really tries to be a cool, calm, and collected person but sometimes he embarrasses himself by saying odd things or staring at you a little too long
when he does figure out you're related to his underclassman, he takes the opportunity to get to know you better
and when he finds out you're in his homeroom? even better
the type to arrange study session together with you every weekend just to spend time with you
he actually invites you to watch their practices and games before shoyo does LOL
the whole team knows about his feelings and he doesn't even care, constantly throwing an arm over you shoulder and hanging around you during downtimes
wants to impress you, so he gives it his all (and then some) whenever you're there
his sets get more accurate and he even blocks more hits than he would've before
he really wants you to think he's cool
but if you compliment him, he's exploding on the spot
suguwara koshi! had no idea you were shoyo's cousin when he met you. you looked nothing alike and your personalities were completely different. despite you being a complete stranger, the lost look on your face amused him.
you met koshi when shoyo accidentally stranded you at the train station. you were supposed to take the same train to his house, but he didn't notice you weren't right behind him when he stepped into the train car. the last you saw of the tangerine-haired boy was the back of his head as the doors closed on you.
you were standing there in a panic, though no one stopped to check if you were okay. shoyo had you hold his schoolbag while he dragged your suitcase along, and when you tried calling his cellphone you heard it buzz in the bag that hung on your shoulder. for the life of you, you couldn't remember which stop to get off or which streets to take to get to his house.
"are you lost?" a gentle voice asks you, pulling you from your anxious thoughts.
your eyes meet and koshi can't help but think you're cute as hell. you look doe-eyed in your panic, rounded eyes and parted lips. when you don't answer right away, koshi's cool demeanor switches and he stumbles into an embarrassed frenzy. "wait, can you even understand japanese?"
thankfully, you do, having learned it from shoyo at a younger age. you blink away the remnants of your panic with a few hasty nods. "yes, sorry. my cousin accidentally left me here, and i don't really know how to get to his house..."
koshi calms down at your insistence, chuckling to himself. "do you know the address?"
you wince, "no."
"alright," he says in a way that he hopes is soothing for you. "i can keep you company while you wait for him to return, then. it'd probably be nicer than just standing here by yourself."
when you agree, he hides his smile. he asks you several icebreakers, such as your name and your favourite colour. with every passing second, he only thinks you're even cuter than when he first saw you.
eventually, shoyo does come back, panting and heaving as he runs up the stairs to the station platform. his bright eyes widen when he sees you together with koshi. "oh, sugawara? you've met my cousin?"
koshi meets your eyes with a grin. "i guess we'll be seeing each other more often."
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honestly asahi doesn't even acknowledge you when you first meet
he doesn't find out you're shoyo's cousin for weeks, so you're really just another classmate to him
you don't even talk to each other until like a month or so after you transferred
and even then, your conversations are short
he's polite to you when you work together, but he doesn't really try to become friends with you
don't get him wrong! he thinks you're nice and pretty, but he is too damn shy to initiate anything with you
you kinda think he hates you at first, but after you realize that he's just not an outgoing person you relax around him
when he does find out you're related to shoyo, you end up seeing each other more often out of class
you show up to more practices, even if you're just sitting on the benches doing homework
shoyo even drags you along whenever the team meets up outside of school to hang out
as a result, you and asahi eventually grow closer and he opens up more bit by bit
he doesn't actually start crushing on you until graduation nears
he realizes it when he hears you cheering his name at one of their bigger games
he thinks his name sounds prettier coming from you
he doesn't initiate any skinship with you, but he's always asking about your day and checking on you in his own ways
will absolutely combust if you even so much as brush pinkies as you're walking together
azumane asahi! first met you in class. like koshi, he doesn't know you're related to shoyo initially. when the teacher introduces you, making you write your name on the board, you don't have the same last name as shoyo. he doesn't really pay much attention to you, minding his own business as he takes out his notebook and pens.
several weeks pass and your homeroom teacher announces that you'll be partnering up for a group presentation. your first real conversation with him goes as expected—you exchange contact information and go your separate ways when the bell rings.
he thinks you're attractive, but he's too shy to actually act on those thoughts and he just pushes through the project, interacting with you as little as possible.
it's only when shoyo forgets his volleyball uniform at your house that asahi figures out you're related.
he sees you first, standing in the gym entrance while you wait to be invited in. you look hesitant as your eyes cast over the several members of the volleyball club, your gaze landing on asahi. when recognition flickers behind your eyes, he thinks you're there for him.
he opens his mouth to greet you, but before he can even utter a word, an orange blur runs past him. you're almost knocked on your ass as shoyo tackles you, excitedly calling out your name. "what're you doing here?" he asks you, tilting his head as he releases you from his death grip. "you never come to practice."
"you left your uniform at mine," you explain quietly, pulling the clothing out of your bag.
there's a moment of silence, before all hell breaks loose. the others scream and yell at shoyo, yuu and ryuunosuke shaking him by the shoulders as they demand why they weren't informed about his girlfriend.
even asahi's jaw drops at the thought of you, his classmate and group partner, dating shoyo, of all people.
"we aren't dating!" you exclaim, shaking your hands in front of you adamantly as disgust paints over your facial features. "we're cousins."
as the club eventually quiets down, you meet asahi's gaze over the commotion. when you offer him a bashful smile, he can't help but return it.
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as expected, yuu is also whipped for you the second you meet
he swears on his life that he has never met someone as perfect as you—not even kiyoko (which says a lot)
at first, his attraction to you is entirely physical and he doesn't hide it
he compliments you every time he sees you he even compliments your outfits even if you're just wearing the karasuno uniform
he practically begs shoyo to bring you to practice just so he has an excuse to ogle at you and profess his 'undying love'
you'd probably make good friends with kiyoko, bonding over the second years' unabashed feelings and loud professions of love lol
though he's completely smitten with your looks, yuu doesn't learn a thing about you until like two months after your transfer
he realizes it when koshi asks if he knows anything about you and no, the fact that you're pretty doesn't count as something
during a late night run to the nearest convenience store, he runs into you
you're dressed casually, and he realizes it's actually the first time he's seen you outside of uniform
he thinks you're very cute in your bunny pajamas
he approaches you with koshi's words in mind, and asks if you want to hang out for a bit
your hang outs become a common thing, and eventually it's your weekend tradition to meet at the convenient store after sundown
after really getting to know you, he realizes that he likes more than just your appearance
shockingly, once he figures out his feelings for you, he tones down a lot
he would stop confessing his love for you every moment he could, but he gets casually affectionate with you
he'd always stand close enough for your shoulders to touch and would absentmindedly guide you places by taking your hand
he's never had a real crush on anyone before, so he's feeling it out with you
nishinoya yuu! has hearts in his eyes the moment he meets you. shoyo brought you to practice one day, excited to introduce his favourite cousin to his teammates. he had all but dragged you to the gym by the wrist, ignoring your insistent utterings that you can walk on your own.
"this is my cousin!" shoyo announces the second he bursts through the doors in true hinata shoyo fashion. you were the last ones to show up, so the entire team was there to witness you getting dragged in by shoyo. "they transferred here from overseas."
yuu feels the world stop once he glances over at you after receiving a particularly harsh spike from tobio, freezing into his squatted position. his world becomes a romcom movie—he swears someone must be blowing a fan in your direction with the way your hair sways as you walk into the gym. he might even be seeing the air sparkle in your presence.
he's absolutely starstruck with you, and he makes no effort to hide it as he bounds over to you. he takes your hands in his, looking at you with wide eyes as he takes you in. he can hear someone groaning, maybe daichi, as they mutter something along the lines of "he's at it again."
"i'm nishinoya yuu," he introduces himself. "you're really cute!"
your mouth opens, but no words come out as you simply stare at yuu in surprise. shoyo had given you a brief rundown of his group members, and you realize that this might be why he warned you about the libero in particular.
even when daichi smacks the back of his head, apologizing to you quietly, yuu remains in his lovestruck gaze.
you stay to watch their practice, at both shoyo and yuu's insistence, and yuu makes a point to be even more extravagant than usual. you can't help but laugh at his boisterous rolling receives and the way he calls out ridiculous move names.
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oh ryuu. typical ryuu.
the first words he ever speaks to you end up with him getting slapped
like yuu, he thinks you've been blessed by the gods with your looks and he makes it clear to you when you meet
he asks you to go out with him, only to blatantly check you out right after, which earned him a smack to the face
eventually, he does apologize for his behaviour, though you don't accept it right away
when you tell him that you hate guys who treat others like eye candy, he's sure to tone it down for you
of course, a man can't change overnight
he still flirts with you, and with other women—he can't help it ;( him n yuu are menaces
however, when he's not being an absolute pest, he gets to know you
he learns about your interests and hobbies, and finds himself indulging you in them (who would've thought he'd end up enjoying the art of bracelet making?)
when you become close friends, you become his person
he goes to you whenever he wants to talk about something, and he lends an ear whenever you need to vent
he asks you about your home country often, wanting to know more about your life before you came to japan
he'd even go out of his way to do things for you that remind you of home whenever you start feeling homesick :)
it's not until well after graduation when he realizes that he might actually like you
tanaka ryuunosuke! was mid confession when you met. shoyo had brought you to one of their games, and just as ryuunosuke was getting on his knees to ask kiyoko to marry him, his eyes fall on you.
it's almost astounding how quickly the second year moved from the glasses-wearing beauty to you, appearing in front of you in an instant. before shoyo can even introduce you, he stares you down with a steeled expression, his eyes narrowing.
"you're the prettiest person i've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on," he claims in his most serious tone. he takes your hands in his as he presses his lips to your knuckles. "please go out with me."
there's a collective sigh as the team turns away at his antics. you, on the other hand, feel your head pound in irritation. "excuse me?"
ryuunosuke doesn't hear the vexation in your tone, or chooses to ignore it, as his eyes trail over your features. even when you're staring at him in an angry disbelief, he thinks you're incredibly pretty. however, as his eyes drop lower and lower, his mind enters a less-than-appropriate headspace.
the feeling of your hand connecting with his cheek rips him out of his lewd daydreams. you didn't slap him hard, but the sound echoed over the loud chatter of the audience members anyway. "you pervert," you utter, gritting your teeth as you turn on your heel. you barely tell shoyo good luck as you all but stomp off to the bleachers.
ryuunosuke stares at your back, holding his reddening cheek in mild awe. yuu nudges his side. "don't tell me you're into that, man."
he at least has the grace to blush.
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to be honest, you and tobio do not get along until much later
it's not because you're related to shoyo it is
he just genuinely has no idea how to talk to you lmao
you meet him on the first day of school with shoyo
the realization that he may be teammates with the very guy he had practically berated in middle school took priority over greeting you tbh
it's only after their initial fight when he realizes that you, a complete stranger, saw him yell at shoyo as harshly as he did (even if shoyo didn't have many nice things to say either)
he's kinda embarrassed abt it tbh
like?? you had to see him like that?? he's mortified
so when he joins the volleyball club and you're a manager, he avoids you like the plague
when he talks to you, he accidentally comes across as if he hates your guts (he doesn't, he just cannot properly converse with people to save his life)
your relationship is extremely terse for months, since you get pissed off at his behaviour and he doesn't know how to act normally around you
he doesn't warm up to you until one of their games later in the season, where the morale is low and the team is hanging their heads
you give them an uplifting speech, telling the team that they're stronger than they think
it's the first time tobio looks at you in a pleasant light, and he merely puts a hand on your shoulder to say thanks as he makes his way back to the court
slowburn as fuck tbh he might not even realize he likes you until you're about to graduate (cut him some slack he's only a lil slow)
kageyama tobio! barely acknowledges your existence when you meet. you had moved to japan before their first year at karasuno began, so you showed up with shoyo to the first day.
of course, tobio recognized shoyo immediately from their encounter in middle school. shoyo had dragged you to the gym to go with him to sign up for the volleyball club, insistent that you try to apply to be a manager or something. tobio was there, about to spike a volleyball.
the second shoyo and tobio lock eyes on each other, they're at it like cats and dogs, and you're left standing there in confusion. seeing shoyo as angry as he was is shocking to you and you wonder what the hell this other guy must've done to rile up your sunshine cousin so much.
tobio doesn't even look at you as he argues with shoyo, not meeting your eyes until after the fight has 'calmed' down. he stares at you quietly for a moment before averting his gaze, grumbling something under his breath as he leaves to retrieve the volleyball shoyo made him drop.
he doesn't say anything to you as you talk quietly with daichi about becoming a manager. he vaguely overhears shoyo introducing you as his cousin, but he's too annoyed to listen.
later on, when him and shoyo are finally accepted into the club, and you're brought on as a manager-in-training, tobio still ignores you.
you don't have your first conversation until a week later, when you corner him after practice. "what is your problem?" you demand, your hands propped on your hips. "i know you don't like sho, but you haven't said a single word to me since you joined the club."
tobio flushes in embarrassment as he stares at you. he doesn't mean to, but his eyes narrow into what could be perceived as a harsh glare. "i don't have anything to say," he says truthfully, his voice coming out colder than necessary.
when he rushes off to hide his growing fluster, you're left standing there confused.
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you and kei barely interacted at first tbh
he had never seen you before and it was the weekend when you met so he had no reason to assume you'd ever talk again really
even after finding out you were related to shoyo, he didn't bat an eye
after all, he's not exactly going over to the orange-haired boy's house for sleepovers lolol
but to his surprise, you're in his classroom the next monday morning as a foreign exchange student
your classmates rush to you, overwhelming you with numerous questions about your hometown, and it's clear to kei that you're flustered
you meet his gaze over the crowd of people, and for a moment you're shocked to see him
however, before either of you can do anything, you get bombarded with even more questions
to your surprise and his, kei scoffs as he approaches your crowded desk
"can't you see you're bothering them?"
the gaggle of students dissipates with embarrassed apologies, leaving you and kei alone
your relationship with him from then on is odd
there's an unspoken agreement that you both don't like being bothered by other people, and you lowkey bond over it
he would never admit you're friends, but he comes to your rescue often
if you can't understand a phrase or if you don't know the answer to a question in class, he'll quietly help you out (but don't bother asking about it, 'cus he'll deny it vehemently)
when you start hanging out during practices, he ruffles your hair and rests his arm on your head regardless of your height
making fun of you is his love language (not that he'd ever admit he has feelings)
tsukishima kei! meets you when you're babysitting natsu. the team had been out getting ice cream (as per koshi's insistence—for team building), leaving kei in a sour mood because he would rather be anywhere than here.
"shoyo! sho!"
the whole team looks over, seeing a little girl who is the spitting image of their short middle blocker running toward them. kei's expression drops even more, because there's two of them?
shoyo almost drops his ice cream cone with the way the little girl jumps on him. "what are you doing here?" shoyo asks, scrambling to catch his sweet treat. "where's—"
before he can finish his sentence, another figure comes running at them, out of breath. "natsu!" you scold airily as you make your way up to the team, hunching over and resting your hands on your knees as you try to catch your breath. "jesus, don't just run off like that!"
you look up at shoyo from your hunched position, letting kei get a good look at your face. you're flushed, sweat beading on your brow bone and lips are parted as you breathe harshly through them. it's clear to the blond that you've been running around for some time now, something that makes him snort into his strawberry ice cream cup.
"sorry, sho," you wince, practically dragging the little girl, natsu, to your side. "she ran off while i was paying for her snacks. she probably saw you through the window." you vaguely gesture to a nearby convenience store, holding up a bag of candy.
you talk with shoyo for another moment, before turning to the rest of the team. your eyes briefly meet kei's and he arches a brow at you. you apologize for interrupting them, but daichi insists that you're fine and that you and natsu can hang around since you're there anyway.
as a result, you and kei end up standing near each other as the group converses. kei had been hanging a little bit away from the others, minus tadashi of course. you end up near him by coincidence—you don't know the others, and the three of you end up quietly sitting in acknowledgement that you didn't want to talk.
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my darling baby tadashi is a mess when you meet <3
he was practicing his volleyball skills when he accidentally whams you in the face
he'd feel guilty about it for a while (even if you insist you're fine) and would use it as an excuse to buy you drinks from the vending machines lol
"this is the fourth drink you've bought me this week??"
"i have to make up for hitting you somehow :((("
becoming friends with tadashi is surprisingly easy, given how shy he can be
it becomes a habit to meet you by the vending machines before practice
the time in the halls between classes and volleyball are spent getting to know you
he asks a lot of questions about what it's like in your hometown and the differences in your culture
i don't think he'd start liking you until after you also get close with kei though lol good luck
the first time he sees you joking around with the tall blond, he thinks his heart is about to beat out of his chest
you must be an angel, he decides as he watches you get along with kei
the three of you form a trio and you end up spending more time with them than shoyo LOL
kei absolutely knows about tadashi's feelings and takes every opportunity to tease him about it whilst you're blissfully unaware
he's so so smitten around you after he realizes he likes you
the type to look at you like you hung the stars in the sky yourself and to becoming maddeningly red whenever you so much as make eye contact with him
yamaguchi tadashi! hits you in the head the first time he meets you. he was in the gym alone, practicing his float serve. you pushed through the heavy metal doors just in time to get slammed in the face with a ball gone awry.
he feels his heart drop to his toes as he quickly rushes over to you, asking if you're alright and if you need to see the nurse. his panic only worsens when he realizes you're bleeding from your nose.
although the hit shocked you, you're left watching in amusement as tadashi scrambles to find something to stop your nosebleed with. when he eventually returns to you, having ran from the boys washroom to grab a wad of papertowel, he apologizes again softly.
"are you okay now...?" he asks when your nosebleed finally stops. he looks almost like a kicked puppy, his hair falling limply into his eyes.
even after you reassure him that you're fine, tadashi still wears his guilt like a crown. he offers to buy you something from the vending machines, and does so despite your insistence that he doesn't need to.
"you can accept it for my sake," he says sheepishly as he offers you the cold can. the two of you converse quietly, with you introducing yourself as a new foreign exchange student.
"oh!" he suddenly lets out, looking over at you. "did you need something in the gym?"
"i was looking for my cousin," you sigh. "he said he was in the volleyball club and i haven't been able to find him at all today."
he's shocked when he finds out that you're shoyo's cousin—the boy had talked about you earlier in the week when he found out you were transferring to karasuno. as you talk, tadashi thinks to himself that shoyo never mentioned how cute you were.
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your first meeting with keishin is awkward
ltrly knocks you off your feet when he runs into you
he's kind of brash when he meets you, not caring if you think of him badly because of it
you don't have much of a relationship at first—your work pulls you to the classrooms after all, so he doesn't really see you around often
the next time he sees you, you're stomping into the gymnasium mid practice with an irked expression
he's about to tell you off for interrupting practice, but he quiets when he sees you make your way to your younger cousin
he only watches in amusement when you tell him off for his horrid grades
when shoyo turns to keishin for help, he only shrugs with a lazy grin on his face
"sorry, little man, you heard 'em. no volleyball games until you raise your grades"
to shoyo's chagrin, you and keishin make a terrifying pair for him (and the other three idiots lolol)
you only really start hanging out with him when you end up making a late night run at his convenience store
it's the first time he sees you in casual clothing and the case of beer in your hands makes him laugh
"you wanna share that?"
he becomes your drinking buddy every other weekend, and he grows to cherish the time you spend chugging back cans of beer with him
keeps his feelings on the downlow, but as time goes on even the boys realize that their coach has a soft spot for you
ukai keishin! bodies you the first time you meet. the man doesn't realize his own strength until he literally knocks you flat on his ass after he turns a corner and bumps into you. his eyes go wide when the books and papers in your hands go flying, falling around you in a frenzy.
"shit," he curses under his breath, bending down to pick up your things. "sorry 'bout that." his voice is gruff as he speaks, collecting your papers without much care. when he returns them to you, some of them are scuffed and crumpled.
as he's handing you your things, he finally gets a good look at you. you're dressed more formally than he is by a mile. he holds a hand out to help you to your feet, his brown eyes falling to the lanyard around your neck.
"you new here?" he asks, jutting his chin out to gesture to your nametag. student teacher is typed above your name and picture.
you nod deftly, brushing off any dirt from your dress pants. "i started today. and you are?" your eyes meet his, and he knows you're silently scrutinizing him. he's much too old to be a student, you deduce easily, but he's dressed far more casually than any other other teachers.
when your eyes drift up to his bleached hair, he snorts. "i'm the coach for the volleyball club," he grumbles. "i don't need to be wearing fancy shit like you."
he sees your eyes light up in recognition as he analyzes your face with crossed arms. "the volleyball club? you must know my cousin then. hinata shoyo?"
keishin deadpans at you. "you're the runt's cousin?"
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©AVATARCHIC please do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or copy any of my works.
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foldingfittedsheets · 11 months ago
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Before my beloved and I moved in together they were living with roommates in a place that didn't have a bathtub. Now, a reasonable person might conclude from this that baths would be out of the equation in a home with only one standing shower and no tub.
But these people weren't quitters. Naturopathic doctors and acupuncturists they were dedicated to treating their bodies well and one of the ways they liked to do that was hydrotherapy. Most people are familiar with this through things like polar bear plunges. You sit in a hot tub then jump in freezing water.
It's supposedly good for you and they were way into it. But again, no tub. They'd do hydro showers but it just wasn't the same. These people were not quitters, though. (One of them is the boob soap person, so it really isn't a surprise that she goes hard on everything). So they got what looked like two big metal old timey tubs but which were actually animal food troughs and set them up in the garage. They set up a water heater and god knows how they emptied the tub after, I think there was hoses involved? A pump maybe? I honestly can't remember. Anyway! Voila, hydrotherapy on demand.
I was not aware of this. So when I came over after a long day and my beloved said we should take a bath I was extremely puzzled. I only knew about the one shower. They showed me the garage tubs. I did want a bath and I wasn't really sure about the setup, but honestly I'll try anything once if only for the story, so I agreed.
Fun fact about me though. I haaaate being cold. I've been 0% body fat most of my life with skin barely keeping my bones enclosed. I'm always cold. My favorite activity at the time was sitting directly in front of space heaters. My shower temperatures turn me lobster red and make my beloved cringe. Willingly dunking myself into cold water is the antipathy of my entire deal.
On the night in question I happily submerged into the warm tank, pleasantly surprised by the big silly improvised tub. Which again was meant for livestock. My knees bumped companionably against my beloved as we soaked in the hot water. After a while they rose to go into the cold water. "You don't have to," they told me.
But I was haunted. I wouldn't be doing hydro if I just stayed in the warm tub. Maybe hydro was amazing. It has all these health benefits. I desperately didn't want to but I stood up with them. We were having this nice intimate evening in the garage, just us, I felt safe. I was gonna do it.
They stepped easily into the cold tub, dunking matter of factly into the frigid water. I went to step. I did. I really really tried. My foot went in and I started shrieking, my progress arrested by the total state of shock I entered when my warm toasty foot hit that smug arctic water tension. My beloved started laughing as my pitch ascended the deeper my foot went into the cold water.
I started loudly narrating my discomfort as my foot touched the bottom and I willed my other foot up to join it. "THIS IS VERY COLD," I yelled, "IT'S SO COLD I THINK I MIGHT DIE HOW ARE YOU JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THIS FREEZING COLD WATER?! I'M DYING- I THINK I'M DYING! I'M DYING BUT WE'RE HERE, TOGETHER! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THESE EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO COLD ALL MY MOLECULES HAVE COMPRESSED INTO A SOLID STATE!"
I ended up with both feet planted in the cold tub, water up to my shins, bellowing and panting while my beloved laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. I hunkered over the cold water, squatting like a frozen gargoyle.
My beloved was trying to psyche me up while I willed my body to obey me. In a sudden jerky drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut I plummeted my body into the cold and let out a shriek that I’m sure could have shattered glass and then leapt up out of the water at a speed relative to a rocket achieving space flight. I didn’t like it.
When we got back inside my beloved's roommates were collapsed on the ground with tears in the their eyes from how hard they'd been laughing. They and probably every neighbor down the block had heard my pterodactyl screeching and narration because the garage was not remotely soundproof.
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gojoidyll · 21 days ago
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WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW STRONG HE IS, or when you're just playing around and you see that he can hold you down quite easily...
cw ; a dabble of angst (if you squint) w/ comfort, and maybe a tiny bit suggestive
mydei x reader (implied fem!reader)
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MYDEI doesn't always indulge with roughhousing with you. However, today was just one of those days where your playful demeanor finally rubbed off on him.
You were laughing as you lightly pushed at him and tried to knock him down to the couch, but he had other plans when he pushed you down instead.
Your back was flush with the cushions of the couch before you could even blink, and his hands were holding your shoulders down easily. You struggled a bit, try to push up, or even wriggle your way out. But Mydei was strong.
The sudden realization of not being able to push him off of you hit you like a slap to the face.
And when you stopped laughing and giggling, that's when Mydei pulled back. A frown etched across his features as he looked down you... that expression... why were you making that face?
Trying to act like nothing happened, you smiled again, "you're," you laughed awkwardly, sheepishly as you sat up with him, "you're really strong!"
He frowned at you, he could already guess what made you react like that.
"Stop that."
"H- huh, stop what?"
"That fake expression, stop making it. I made you uncomfortable just now, it was obvious."
You dropped the smile as he had asked, "no... it's my fault for thinking of something stupid. I didn't mean to bring the whole mood down...," your voice trailed off and he decided to delve deeper. He didn't want this to happen again. Seeing you smile, a real smile, was far better.
"What was it that you were... thinking about?"
"I guess.. I just realized how strong you were. Like, I couldn't push you off or anything! And you weren't even being serious!"
He raised an eyebrow, "you are worried you won't be able to fight me off?"
You shook your head almost instantly, "no, no! I'm not- I'm not trying to say that at all! Ugh, it's so hard to explain-"
"I'm sorry."
His apology through you off guard sending you into a panic, "you- you don't need to apologize! My mind is just being stupid!"
"And yet when we were messing around, you still feel as if you need to be able to push me off at any given moment if things got bad."
You pressed your lips together and he continued.
"I want you to know that you are safe... with me. And that with even a single word said by you, you can get me to get off of you."
"Mydei..."
"So, until the day comes that you feel safe with me. I guess I'll just have to try harder to prove myself to you. Even with foolish acts like this."
"Like what?"
You tilted your head to the side but just as you asked that you let out a loud squeal as you grabbed onto his shoulders as he flipped you both over.
Now he was the one laying against the couch as you were above him straddling his waist.
"No matter the position we're in, you're always in control."
You felt your face grow hot at the implication, but you were happy nonetheless. You were safe. You are safe with Mydei.
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inkedinshadows · 2 months ago
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First of all congratulations for 1000 followers 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉 it’s honestly amazing and you deserve all the best❤️❤️❤️ also happy new year 🎆🎆🎆 secondly, all the prompts are super good it, I had such a hard time choosing from them cause they that are all amazing, anyway I think 19, 20 and 21 just fit together perfectly for an angsty Azriel fic.
Broken Vows
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Pairing: Azriel x f!reader
A/N: thank you so much anon, you're the sweetest! <33 And happy new year one month too late oopsie 🤭
Prompts: "I trusted you." + "Don't leave me now. Please. I still need you." + "Baby, please, just look at me."
Warnings: Az is not the best partner here (I promise he didn't cheat)
Word count: 1.3k
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It must be a dream. A nightmare.
Whatever was happening, it wasn't real. It couldn't be. You refused to believe it.
Azriel was still talking, but you weren't listening anymore. His words blurred together in your mind, yet his first few sentences remained sharp, playing over and over in your head.
I've found my mate.
You had never been the jealous type, so it hadn't bothered you when he began spending more and more time with Madja’s new apprentice. It had started as small talk after her visits and you usually lingered too. Talya seemed nice enough—quiet and reserved yet friendly.
You hadn't questioned it when Azriel started visiting the apothecary for even the slightest headache. But then those visits became too frequent. He went there even when both of you felt perfectly fine.
You should have realized something was off when Azriel became distant. The signs had been there. You had just been too blind to see them.
But the problem wasn't that he had found his mate, was it?
I want to be with her.
A few simple words, and the whole world collapsed around you.
“Baby, please, just look at me.” His voice finally cut through your thoughts. “I know this is hard to hear, but let me—”
“You promised,” you interrupted him. Your eyes met his from where he sat at the other end of the couch.
“Baby…” he began, but you cut him off again.
“You promised,” you repeated, your voice rising as tears pricked your eyes. “You promised!”
Guilt flashed across Azriel's face, and he at least had the decency to remain silent as you pressed on.
“You said you'd reject your mate for me, Az,” you blurted out. Hot, angry tears rolled down your cheeks, but you barely noticed. “It was in your wedding vows, for gods’ sake!”
Azriel shook his head. “It's not that simple. I don't—”
“Isn't it?” you interrupted again. “Because it seems simple enough to me. You just reject the bond, like I did.”
His expression immediately hardened. “I don't want to reject the bond. If you would only let—”
“Why wouldn't you want to reject it?” you demanded.
“Because she's my mate!”
“And I'm your wife!”
For a moment, you just glared at each other. His shadows swarmed nervously around his wings, but then his shoulders slumped and his expression softened slightly.
“Can you let me explain?” he asked, studying you. “Please.”
With a sigh, you wiped your cheeks before crossing your arms over your chest. You simply looked at him, waiting.
“I don't want to lose you, baby,” he said softly.
“I don't see how that is going—”
Azriel stopped you mid-sentence. “Let me finish? Please?”
You rolled your eyes but gestured for him to continue. Listening to him was the last thing you wanted right now, but maybe he was going to surprise you. Maybe he was going to say it was all just a joke, a prank, and you'd be mad, but it would be fine.
You were grasping at straws, and you knew it.
“I still want to be with you,” Azriel said. He shot you a sharp look when you opened your mouth, and you sank back against the couch to let him continue. “But I also want to explore this bond with her.”
You scoffed. “So what? You think you can have both of us?” You shook your head, something vicious twisting in your gut. “That's not going to work, Azriel.”
You rose from your seat to head upstairs. You needed time to think, to figure out what to do. If you stayed, you would only get angrier. You had already cried and had no desire to do it again. But if you left, maybe you could spare yourself the fury.
Though the pain—the ache in your heart—could not be avoided, no matter what you did.
“Talya said that she understands the situation and she'd be willing to—”
You froze on the spot. Azriel must have realized he'd said the wrong thing because he didn't finish the sentence. His eyes dropped to your clenched fists as you turned back to face him.
Your restraint was gone. You wouldn't hold back now.
“You talked to her before you talked to me?” you seethed.
“Well, I…” Azriel seemed to be grasping for words. “She's my mate,” he repeated, as if that was explanation enough.
“And I'm your wife!” You threw your hands up. “I have been for the last two centuries!”
“I'm sorry, baby, but I—”
“Don't you ‘baby’ me, Azriel!”
He lowered his gaze, but you were too upset to care about the hurt look in his eyes. It was nowhere close to the heartache he was causing you.
“You know why I never worried about you finding your mate?” you asked. He looked up at you, but even if he had planned on saying something, you didn't give him time. “Because you promised you'd choose me. You promised you would reject the bond. And I believed it, believed you. I trusted you.”
You were well aware of what rejecting a mating bond felt like, how difficult it could be to deal with. Even without feelings involved, even knowing that you and your mate wouldn't have been a good match, it had still taken you two weeks to feel whole again. But Azriel had been there, filling the empty spot where your bond had been with his love.
You had never regretted your choice. You never had a reason to.
“And now I find out that not only did you spend time with her knowing she was your mate,” you went on, “but that you also want to be with her?”
Azriel’s voice was firm, edged with frustration. “I told you I want to be with you too, didn’t I?”
“Mother above, Azriel,” you snapped. “You think that makes me feel better? I trusted you, but you didn't even try.”
You had fought before. After two hundred years together, arguments were inevitable. But you usually talked it out and reconciled after a few hours—a day at worst. Maybe that was why Azriel didn't look particularly concerned.
Until you slipped the wedding band off your finger and tossed it onto the couch beside him.
His eyes widened in shock, and his usually restless shadows stilled behind him. You both stared at the ring, the silence stretching as your anger faded, leaving behind only a broken heart.
“You can't have your cake and eat it too, Az,” you finally said, your voice calmer now, resigned.
You turned on your heel again.
“I'm leaving,” you announced, already walking toward the stairs. You could go stay with your parents. They would welcome you without pressing for an explanation.
Azriel snapped out of his stupor and stood, reaching for you.
“Don’t leave me now. Please. I still need you.” His fingers closed around your wrist. “I still love you.”
You yanked your arm free, but didn't turn to face him. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as you bit out, “You should have loved me enough not to pursue your mate. You promised.”
He tried to stop you again, his shadows swirling around your legs as if to keep you from walking away from their master.
“Baby, that's not—”
You turned back one last time. Tears lined your eyes and your voice broke on the words. “I should have been enough, Azriel.”
You didn't wait to hear his response. You didn't try to go upstairs to pack some clothes.
Unable to stomach his presence any longer, you winnowed away.
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a/n: technically, this is the end. I wanted to leave it open and hanging, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am a sucker for happy endings so I might write a part 2 bc I already have an idea :))
Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @anneas11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate @pey2618 @mellowmusings @k8r123-blog @daughterofthemoons-stuff @minnieoo @saltedcoffeescotch @georgiadixon
1k taglist: @onebadassunicorn @thegoddessofnothingness
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neigepomme · 7 days ago
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˙ ✩°˖ ✈️ bulking szn / caleb x reader
synopsis; who knew your lovely and insanely strong boyfriend could get even more muscular — even more sexy. gotta thank bulking season for that!
⋆ 800 words / suggestive (NSFW) / fem reader / 2nd person
caleb's hot. he's been hot.
you know that, and everyone around you knows that — it's almost become a running joke how he gets stares from everyone when he's out and about.
what you didn't know is that he could get even more attractive. who could blame you, though? he looks like he inspired michelangelo's david — and he can get hotter? now that's just plain greedy. except it's happening, and all you can do is stare at him more than usual.
and here was your greek god of a boyfriend standing in the kitchen, preparing his protein shake. sitting at the kitchen island with your chin resting on your hand, you were staring at him, ogling him. his arms looked so good. how would they feel around your neck, you wondered — but your daydreams had to be cut short by the sound of a refrigerator door closing loudly.
"you know baby, a picture might last you longer. i can feel your eyes on me, and i'm not even facing you."
"mmh, i'm just not used to this whole," you make vague gestures in the air, "bulking thing. gotta stare and memorize it."
he laughs, and you keep on openly admiring him. when he mentioned that he'd be bulking soon, you just nodded, not entirely sure what that implied. the caleb you knew from your childhood and teenage years was strong, yes, but mostly athletic. this meatier, buffer version was new, but so, so, so welcome.
right now, his muscles weren't as defined as you were used to. he looked more.. soft. still as strong, but he seemed bigger — he could already dwarf you before, but now, it was way more serious. not only that, he's traded his looser shirtless tank tops for compression shirts, and it was such a delight for your eyes. his pecs looked bigger, and his back — his back. just a little more broad. just a hint more sexy. was it even legal to look that good?
but man, whenever you hugged him? it was like heaven held you in its embrace. the cherry on top of your very attractive (beef)cake. he was so much warmer too — caleb always ran hot. he's your personal heater during the winter months, but now? he was burning hot. or maybe is it just how you see him? who knows, honestly.
funniest thing about this situation, though? caleb knew you'd react like that upon seeing him get more buff, but he didn't know you'd be that affected by bulking season. he knew how much you enjoyed his physique, and bulking up in order to cut and get stronger and bigger than you, just seemed like a nice challenge. a good way to keep himself busy and please you.
there was one more thing though, way more challenging than keeping tracks of his macros in his new diet. you made it insanely difficult to keep his hands to himself. first, it was the staring. he was well aware that you couldn't really help yourself, he was there looking all handsome just for you. the half-lidded stares when he worked out, lingering glances at his arms and chest, bedroom eyes when he wore that compression shirt one size too small, were to be expected. the way you basically undressed him with your gaze occasionally made him flushed, but caleb couldn't even comment on it — he did the same to you practically daily.
and then came the physical touch.
caleb wasn't shy. he knew he looked attractive, and he knew that you found him attractive. he also knew you were touchy, but your touchiness increased tenfold when he started bulking, always poking and prodding at his body. a perpetually careful hand making goosebumps appear on his skin as you softly traced the lines of the veins on his arms. did you know what you were doing? or were you unconsciously exercising your right to touch his body as if it were yours to own. oh well, it basically was — he was your possession as much as you were his.
god, you made it so hard to hold back, though. caleb just wanted to manhandle you and show you that he wasn't just getting softer — his strength remained. he could still bend you whatever which way he pleased (and he knew you'd enjoy it), but he held back. he held back because after years of yearning, years of practiced patience, he knew the reward was worth it.
so caleb just kept on tolerating it. after all, bulking season wasn't over just yet — he could handle your hands roaming around a little more. three more weeks until he could show you his full potential.
you'd get your lovely buff caleb showing off his muscles for you, and in return, he'd get his even lovelier girlfriend underneath him and return all the physical touches he's been subjected to while bulking — he'll have you oh so pliant and responsive to his roughhousing in bed.
fair trade!
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🍎 pomme's final notes — don't look at me too hard this is so self indulgent i just really like strong guys and i've been rewatching caleb content and his back is just. irresistible i'm gonna chew on him like those buff bear breads
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