#but my faith is what got me through
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i just have this suddenly wave of emotions tonight. sometimes it just really hits me how different things are from even just last year, and how far i've come. i look back on those dark times and it just truly moves me. i never thought i would be where i am today. i'm so, so thankful; thankful to my family, thankful to God, my faith, thankful to you too. whoever needs to hear it: there is light at the end of the tunnel. bad days, weeks, even years will not last forever. you'll find joy and happiness again. you aren't alone, and you are loved. even when you feel otherwise. keeping holding on. it's worth it, and you deserve the goodness in the future that awaits you ❤️
#i don't talk about my faith here#i know it can be a touchy subject#but my faith is what got me through#and it's something i want to feel more comfortable to share#i want to be more open about it#and about the things i've gone through#i want to share my story more#and maybe it can give even just one person comfort#we aren't alone and we have to look out for each other#and give each other encouragement#because it can feel so lonely at times#we need to hold each others hands through things#and i need to be better at making this blog a place for that#and a place where i can feel comfortable sharing that#it's small but it's still a platform#i just feel as though i need to use it in a way that can spread that love and kindness
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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Finished season 2…
#MAN…………….MAN.#Shima speaks#Squid Game#Squid Game season 2#You know what I’m sure the rebellion would have gone GREAT if In-ho. WASN’T THERE#(Also if Dae-ho didn’t freeze up 😭)#Homie got hit with the PTSD at the wrong time 😔#I keep telling myself that In-ho just doesn’t know what it’s like since he’s the Front Man but then I remember!#Shit wait he’s done this before!#I love how much In-ho and Gi-hun compliment each other. AND how they’re also complete opposites#They both won the Squid Game. Watched people die. And were too late to save the ones they loved#And yet!! And yet. There’s still such a huge difference between their character#Bc Gi-hun is STILL compassionate. Still has faith in people. Is still HUMAN#Meanwhile In-ho isn’t#Imagine what a turn of events this season would have been if Gi-hun’s compassion and humanity actually got through to In-ho…man…#In-ho changing bc of Gi-hun’s faith and care for people and deciding you know what yeah. Fuck it. Fuck THIS. I’m over it#And actually helps with the rebellion all the way to the end. Kills his subordinates bc he’s done with this shit#Anyway what a fucking ROLLERCOASTER holy shit.#HYUN-JU MY FUCKING QUEEN. SHE IS EVERYTHING. SLAY BITCH I LOVE YOU#I will be SO upset if she dies#Also slightly off topic from the ending but AGHHH when they were doing the 5 team race and everyone was cheering!!! It was so sweet 😭#They were all on each other’s side at least in that moment#Just seeing everyone yelling and hollering and cheering on all the teams I wanted to CRY#And then they all try to kill each other later on. Smh#Anyway can’t wait for season 3 to tear me asunder :))))
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𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗵. That said, when speaking of his paramour with the mention of Mystra, it is not a slight. After all, Mystra, the goddess, wasn't just his lover; she, as she'll remain, controls the Weave.
As a scholar of magic for all his life, Gale is thoroughly enamored with it. He's always had the Weave, casting spells and enchantments for as far as his long memory goes, and there's no power on earth that can pale that devotion. When Gale says Mystra's name, in love, it is never with yearning. When he tells his lover that he forgets his goddess when he stands beside them, he means quite literally that he foregoes his faith. He doesn't mention her like a quality benchmark with which they've somehow surpassed, but to punctuate how wholly he has fallen for them. With a new, honest love, he is turned entirely from Mystra. In fact, so utterly bewitched, he's like a born again man. He isn't besotted by his goddess, held stalwart in her sway and seemingly, abundantly, and frustratingly stubborn. After that disastrous relationship, I promise you, Gale spares not a single thought toward her. She might have control of the Weave, and as such, stands still his only patron deity, but his new, doting lover? They become something of a new religion for him; he is most devoted, taken by, and so loyal to them.
He does not see Mystra. Do not assume he still feels for her.
He's a man of one love, and they will have all of him.
#HEADCANON.#Never go into the Gale tag because the fandom has such bad faith interpretations of Gale 24/7#I say as another bad take makes me type this up.#Gale isn't still hung up on her GOD. Stop.#Stop saying 'Gale keeps mentioning Mystra when we're being romantic and it's so annoying.'#Dude. Mystra is his LITERAL god. He is saying YOU ARE HIS NEW FAITH.#Oh my god. Stop misinterpreting it. He isn't still ENAMORED with Mystra.#UGHHHHHHHH.#He got out of an abusive relationship and is finding out THIS is what love is#that this love IS something he can put his faith and heart in.#And you reduce him to... guy that can't get over ex tee hee?#Tell me why I shouldn't make your milk curdle.#Someone: the astral sex scene is just him reliving his moment with Mystra.#Or get this... he himself has basically largely only had sex and intimacy through that realm#and knows it to be pleasurable. He wants his partner to know pleasure beyond all imagination. THAT'S IT.#People make me [semi truck comically long honk].#This man makes it a POINT that his heart is made ONLY for one and you all just?!?!? Talk like this!?! You wound Dean. [third person talk]#Anyway (breathes). I'm normal now. I will be on later cuz big things cane up at work. peace.
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Just Kidding, CQC would break a demon's ass exactly like it breaks Skulls'... whatever thing they have instead of bones.
#faith the unholy trinity#mgsv#my art#venom snake#john ward#sad men#fucking sad men who blame themselves for stuff that wasn't their fault#haunted by phantoms#haha#it'd be funny if it wasn't sad enough to make me cry just thinking about it#they're friends btw#tho if V knew what John was going through he would have broken Gary's face like you think he cares#this man faced a giant fucking mecha shooting missiles and swatting a fucking anime sword at him#that little fork you got there is cute mister
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Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell#also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice#but also literally can't get over gwen “it really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy#cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. “i missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and.#you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo#and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk...#if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. &#hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.“#AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER#SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED#HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO#ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO.#anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks#from gwen of all people! i love that for me.#also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right.#atsv#miles morales#itsv#miguel o'hara#the spot#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen stacy#ghost spider#gwen x miles#rio morales#across the spider verse#into the spider verse
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Sally's apology to John really struck me as a raw, meaningful parent-to-child apology. She didn't dumb anything down, she didn't lie to soften anything, she claimed all of her actions... he was so young, and Sally reacted to his age not by talking down to him, but by finding a way to describe the whole truth so he could understand
Most importantly I think is how she kept saying that John is a good person. Like...she thought she was about to die. And she didn't spend that time asking John for forgiveness or to remember her in a good light. She dedicated her words to making John feel loved. She spent that precious time giving him something to make sense of it all, to heal somewhere down the line even when she's not there
#HHHHHHUHHHHHHHHHH#i know that Sally & John's interactions at the college indicate a bunch of fucked-up-edness#ie him saying 'i love you' & her not hearing it. her asking him for reassurance#but i see the apology scene & her concern for him after the shooting#as evidence that she's going to give him SOMETHING good as his mother.#call me what u want but i have faith in them.#She's not perfect and they've got SOOOO much shit to live with. the both of them.#but amongst all of her motivations there is a genuine desire to see her son safe & happy#and i'm crossing my heart & hoping to die that -- now that Barry's not there -- that love for John comes through. and that he feels it.#the fact that they had an easy conversation outsite the theater; there was no indication Sally is using substances; John is sober;#and that John has friends.... I'm choosing to take these as indicators that -- despite the genuine problems that Are there --#John & Sally are reasonably healthy and so is their relationship.#oh god. this show. takes a fucking Lot out of me#barry hbo#sally reed#john berkman#barry finale#barry meta#pyra speaks
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ass in the air on my hands and knees searching for link/allen (romantic platonic idgaf in this economy) fanwork i scoured the ao3 tag dry and 8 years of tumblr posts and now i am Two fists deep in pixiv, dodging projectiles of pathetic ai porn, desperately looking for crumbs. i’ve done it again folks i found a more or less dead fandom and got stuck on the niche pairing of the main character and the guy who debuted with a bowl cut and now there is nothing to be done but CRY LOUDLY and then (some time later) EQUIP PEN
#(through tears) BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD#fuckass niche as fuck pairings always nerf me for some reason i’ve got a thing for the…. the Unexpected. or the Unperceivdd#i just think there’s something so compelling about allen’s idealism in spite of the horrors he’s experienced contrasted with#link’s single mindedness in his devotion to reveiller or whomstever the fuck (can’t spell europe)#being as he is an orphan who has never had anyone else in his life#but then allen comes along and suddenly he’s forced to be in close quarters with another human being for a long ass time#and allen obviously hates it at first but they’re both Food Enjoyers and allen’s so. he’s so idealistic. he thinks he can save everyone#meanwhile link has never cared about anyone except his friends who all became third exorcists and cocked off + leveiller + now. now now#howard ‘i’m at war with myself’ link#HOWARD LINK HAS ONLY EVER AFFORDED HIMSELF TWO MERCIES#THE FIRST IS HIS FEELINGS OF LOYALTY TOWARDS REVEILLE#WHICH AT SOME POINT IN HIS EMPLOYMENT TRANSCENDED A MERE SENSE OF OBLIGATION#THE SECOND IS ALLEN WALKER#meanwhile allen’s never had anyone see him at his lowest so often on the pure basis of fuckass watch a dog a (mario voice) duty#the forced vulnerability into a genuine sense of concern but the lines are eternally blurred#throw in link’s transparency when kanda drags him out of dog zone and he’s like okay ya this is what i’m here to do#and allen’s unequivocal acceptance of him all the same#AND THE WAY HE BLUSHES WHEN ALLEN PINCHES HIS NOSE (7999 psychic damage sustained. critical hit!)#i like unlikely and difficult connections which require infinite energy and faith to sustain#i like what they’ve got going there#it compels the Fuck out of me#ok now that i’ve yapped this much i Must. i Must write. so write i will (later)#after (?) this comic and also my mom and i finish watching blossoms in adversity which . favorite chinese period drama ever fyi#ok good night i sleep#olio#gelmo
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My scavenge for screenshots that I might use in an upcoming video essay led me to Lilith Fairen’s blog where, lo and behold, she apparently saw this post of mine and decided she had to talk about it
That’s an interesting way to say “the blog has me blocked, so I can’t reblog the OG post.” Fairen, you know what a block means, right? It means I don’t consent to you being on my damn blog. So either you don’t understand what boundaries are or you think it’s okay to ignore them so long as it’s the right kind of person you’re invading. Neither of which reflect well on you
#rwde#lilith fairen#while i could go through her post and tear it apart point by point#i got shit to do. my essay aint gonna write itself#and itd be redundant since my essay is in part abt how people willfully misinterpret adam for their hate wanks#maybe i will anyway since i have her whole post but this is the thing thats pissing me off. dont fucking lie that rwde hates disagreements#i enjoy talking to people w different perspectives. an anti rwder and i once had a v pleasant talk despite a v rocky start#we even reached a conclusion with mutual understanding of each others positions and reasonings#but lilith doesnt want to talk. she doesnt want to look at how flawed rwby is unless its in a way that can be used to bash others#and it'd be pointless considering she's never going to change her mind no matter what any of us say#if she was here for honest. good faith discussion abt a cartoon she wouldn't be blocked by the entire damn tag#so lilith kindly take the planet sized hint and leave people the fuck alone#you wanna bitch and moan abt dex stalking or bullying or whatever to you but then you turn around and do shit like this#treat others how you want to be treated. when you act like an invasive asshole guess what people are going to start reflecting back at you
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the first time u slay a dragon in dai u get a wartable mission that is like "people are throwing a party over you killing a dragon!" and its like ok why am i not invited then? lowkey think they dont like me fr.
#my inquisitor is funny to me bc he absolutely should not be in this position of power bc he hates authority#but its kinda like ok he was kidnapped and is now lowkey hostage to be a god/holy-figure and he is like um#so i just constantly got the feeling that people just did NOT fuck with him . just the idea of him. which i mean is true tbh#i kinda wish this game did more with that aspect of the roleplay. like you CAN play a character who does not follow chantry teaching but-#-the games dialogue always loops right back around to ''well whatever you say this is what we think anyway'' which ig is fine#but the games theme to me i think is supposed to be faith i guess and its lacking the follow through#but i need to replay dlcs maybe im forgetting stuff#i also wish when you play as a mage who was in a circle you had more option to be anti-circle in dialogue. oh well!
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6, 10 & 29? :)
HELLOOO
6 - 3 nice things about myself, non-physical and physical. i'll do three each! since i'm trying to be nicer to myself!
physical:
- i got glasses the other day and i think they look adorable, i love how they look on me
- i think my eyes are my prettiest facial feature, they're blue and quite round and i like how i do my eye makeup too (rose pink eyeshadow + small black eyeliner makes them stand out nicely and that's usually what people compliment :])
- i generally like my body shape. i'm working out more too and seeing myself become more flexible and toned is actually really satisfying
non-physical:
- i always try and include everyone in conversation or ask them what they were going to say if they were cut off since i know what it feels like to be excluded/feel like youre the tag-along in a friend group, or be nervous to join in
- i'm good at a range of subjects and tasks and i'm good at picking new things up quickly: new hobby every week core
- i'm a pessimist at heart but i try and make light of situations, since i know that also picks other people up (my mum always makes the worst out of things and it drags my mood down a lot so i try and be as forgiving and optimistic as possible - honestly, a lot of bad situations can be made funny with the right people and mindset. obviously sometimes frustration is warranted and unavoidable, but there's almost always a way out! having it start raining and immediately hear someone complaining for 10 minutes is kinda unecessary imo. enjoy yourself!! its fine!!)
10 - something i'm excited for
well, my friend and i are planning to go on a road trip up to scotland or somewhere similar once we get our drivers licenses and go sight-seeing! we were thinking february next year but we're still deciding
im also gonna try and bake some bread, so im happy for that :] i already bake a lot so i figured id try. also watching stuff rise is fun
29 - morning, afternoon or night
this depends heavily, but for me i stay up at night cause i want to avoid the next day and its the one of the only times its quiet, and the afternoon is a weird spot for me. i'm not really a morning person but i appreciate the morning? the sun's rising and there's still time and everything's peaceful for a little while. so i think morning.
thank you for the ask!! <33
#also man im sorry to hear that school was really shit for you#its so draining mentally and sensory wise and also physically :[#i do hope it gets better in a way#you'll make it through!!!#it wont last forever. this too shall pass etc etc#not equipped for answering#not equipped for rambling#anna#i bought myself a new plant for finally figuring out what uni course i wanna do after a YEAR. A YEAR#i dropped it once on the way home and didnt realise and had to backtrack but its ok shes home safe and repotted#still doing a bit shit mentally i wont lie but i dont feel like dying anymore#so its okay#i have faith in you!! if i can make it through so can you!!#we got this#i now have a goal. im actually? looking forward to the future a little? for what might be the first time in my life#if i get into the london uni i want ill be able to do work in cafes and museums and the library and take trains every day#and im actually. happy at the prospect#it doesnt fill me with dread#well a levels do but thats besides the point#WE GOT THISSSS
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you guys… we did it!!!
just wanted to thank you everyone for being a part of this blog… “big things to come soon”
#i am proud and happy about it because this blog came from my moving blogs in 2021#and on my past blog i had about 1000 followers so it’s like i finally regained that reach#which i’m specifically excited by because this blog (contrary to my previous one) is ONLY about the witcher books with no n*tflix talk#like ik ohhh ‘you are a fandom blog you have no rights’ but it makes me happy that we’re all gathered here together for the same thing :)#i don’t think fandom has to be an inherently toxic or immature space i think it can be a meaningful place of discussion and participation#the elbow-high diaries#updates#it’s kind of an interesting thing the witcher books fandom in english in the 2020s i am really very curious where it goes from here#it’s interesting to me because it’s such a specific and unique situation of media spread#it’s not like the witcher is unpopular or indie—it’s extremely popular. a mass pop culture phenomenon#at the same time the english-speaking (and in my case specifically american) fandom is primarily built around tw3 and then now n*tflix#even if the books were read and successful in the english market i mean they did not have the same kind of cultural impact#so it’s particularly of interest to me to boost visibility and yes indeed—fandom—conversation around the witcher books#and for me i like thinking through what that looks like—#an english-speaking (including not limited to american) fandom without anglifying or americanizing it#or at the very least *trying* to not anglify or americanize it. because some amount of it is unintentional yet necessary (i.e. translation)#but even in translation for example. the kind of translation and how it’s gone about. there is potential for cultural learning and#the most faithful translations will not make total sense so as the readers you go and look for that context and learn something#all part of a larger discussion and i kind of got lost typing these tags but this is why this milestone is special to me#it shows that people are interested in what this blog posts about and that means we have a future to explore
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okay the website of my local church w the pride flags out front actually really slaps they have like 5000000 choirs and a page on their specific beliefs that is pretty slay actually, unfortunately for the part of my brain that thinks choosing to do this is insane for me
#like to be honest it seems very tailored to the things i would like to get out of going to church if i were to actually follow through on#this#particularly their attitude toward doubt and sin#doubt is welcome and even an expression of faith? intriguing!#sin is a part of what makes us human? thats what i think!#i however relish in sin and this may make me incompatible with ANY church#perhaps their response would be that what i was taught was sin is not actually sin and we will see if that sticks to me or not#i dont really like the concept of sin regardless of whether god is forgiving about it or not but i guess that would lead me to the last tag#like if we can agree that certain things are bad then sure i guess theoretically i can get on board with the concept of sin#there are some reads of the bible that lean more leftist or queer that intrigue me but which i don't know much about#if anywhere's gonna be open to that it'd probably be this church#they've got a food pantry as well which is nice. like as a church you SHOULD be doing mutual aid i think but you know#i think i would always relish in being a little blasphemous though. thats the spice of life thats why im alive#im rereading this. who the fuck says relish#thank god for the industriously cautious part of my brain though because i'm doing so much fucking research before even daring to step foot#in there#on the sect and on the church itself#i think this would be very much a me reading the bible to shape it to my life and beliefs thing rather than the opposite#maybe the real reason i want to go to church is so i can dom god#karinyo.txt
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Me, in a conversation: What's going on in Gaza is genocide and objectively abhorrent.
Them: Well, ya know the Palestinians *random bullshit justifications for the slaughter of thousands of innocent people*
Me:
#the cons of living in the bible belt#like i already think of every organized religion as a cult#thats so 'sanctity of life' of you#good to know youre cool with mass murder so long as its the enemies of your big guy in the sky#like idk how to tell you this but people tend to just be people#and jesus was brown but i guess you probably dont wanna think about that#its an entire can of worms that i dont have the mental power to sift through#i dont understand how some of the people over here can be so hoity toity on their high horses about their faith and race#then go on to hold such loyalty to a country that gives no shits about them#if theres a higher power i think it would be displeased#if i was the higher power id be pissed to have people killing other people in my name#in my eyes they constantly do their god a disservice#gaza#palestine#free gaza#im not saying that what ive got is even a good take#i admit im not the most well informed on most situations regarding this whole thing#BUT i think human life is important and special in of itself and that its wrong to take that life in most cases#after the Holocaust we said never again yet here we are doing it for the thousandth time#history does always repeat itself#this also isnt to say that youre a bad person if youre practicing some religion#you do you#religion and spirituality are separate for me and religion isn't really my cup of tea any more
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I don't know whether I'll continue to work on this, because as it is I'm surprisingly happy with it, and my skill doesn't extend much beyond this at this point.
I've put this particular piece of art under the cut, because while it's not graphic, it contains (stylised, if that's the word I'm looking for) a depiction of self-harm cuts, otherwise known as 'what my wrist looks like at the moment', although the colouration is for style/effectiveness alone and is not indicative of the damage itself.
It's certainly not gory, but I figured it should be under the cut anyway. I don't know quite what else to say. I don't mind feedback or otherwise. Reblogs are encouraged but not reposts thanks. :)
Actually I would love feedback please and thankyou.
#catkin cannot draw#first time drawing anything for ages so it was good to draw something#got the idea literally in the middle of church and visualised it surprisingly close to this actually#christianity#tw sh#if anyone has any comments on anything i should add to or change on the post (or the artwork) feel free to speak up! i don't know how if#anything i should tag this#anyway yeah#my art#interestingly something that came through unintentionally in it (i was using myself as a reference) is smth i rather like existing in the#image. to me. is that i look at the me-hand and i see how thin it is#and i think about the fact that i wore my watch today at church to try and hide it and that my watch was loose enough it nearly went#halfway down my arm (granted it was always a bit loose to start with) and i haven't worn it for a couple of weeks and it's noticeable#but yeah i rather like that both of these issues made their way into it. one intentionally the other unintentionally#16% mortality rate they say#anyway tell me what you think of it#pinned#personal#faith#doubt
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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