#but more like he wants her attention and approval but he doesn't exactly know why

[bluespiritshonour]

Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils

Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.

And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.

Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.

But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.

Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.

Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.

One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.

Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.

For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.

A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.

Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.

Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!

And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.

Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.

If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.

Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.

Azula had no one!

Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.

But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.

Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.

I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.

Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.

There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.

And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.

In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”

She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.

And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.

Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...

They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.

Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.

So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.

P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.

Adios.

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

Thoughts about Ascended Astarion! (This is a long one, and I'm not trying to change anyones opinion, just highlighting the fact that the player is in complete control of the situation at all times. This game is about choices.) First off, I don't usually prefer to ascend him. But I love all versions of Astarion. His character is so well written and all of his arcs deserve praise and attention no matter what your personal opinion of them are. The devs did an incredible job. If any parts of his arc (ascended or spawn) make you uncomfortable, then romancing him isn't for you. If the dynamic between AA and your character makes you feel scared or upset, don't ascend him. That dynamic is supposed to be 100% consentual. He's a tough nut to crack and his story can be very triggering. I myself broke down a few times hearing him talk about what he went through. There are other companions with lovely character development that you can choose. When people go "ugh he's ruined I didn't want this" My dear, with all due respect. This is the dark fantasy romance option. Emphasis on the fantasy. You didn’t get his approval by being nice. It's not like he's the only option. You chose to romance the vampire. The game warns you of what exactly you're about to do multiple times. You willingly help him murder thousands of people for freedom. A vampire who was a literal slave for longer than he was even alive for just got a MASSIVE amount of power. Were you expecting he was gonna just be a good guy now? He has had NOTHING for so long. His entire life trajectory changed within moments. He’s still figuring himself out. You as the player are still completely in charge. He owes everything to you and he knows that. You can walk away at literally any point. He asks you to kneel and obey to establish trust and a dynamic. To confirm this is what you want. YOU CAN SAY NO. Then, he gets right down on the floor with you. He's either gentle or rough based on your choice. If you don't like the vibe just break up with him at that point like he literally lets you do. Or, even just reload the save. But just remember. "That's what you want, isn't it?". When Astarion ascends, Neil says it best. His mask is off and he's allowed to be at his most terrible with no fear. He doesn't have to perform or be aloof as a distraction from the pain anymore. He was never good aligned. But now, he has the power and ability to give himself and his favourite person the life he thinks they wanted. Otherwise why would you ascend him? His love language becomes acts of service and gifts. He ADORES tav to almost obsession. He's always doting on them and calling them his. The ritual only amplifies that. "but what about what he says if you convince him not to go through with it?"

He’s not lying. He knows tav saved him from himself. It is technically the “good” ending. But that’s not what matters here. The ascension is for characters who are not good aligned. It is for characters that are just as much of a power hungry monster as ascended Astarion is. They want to be a monarch that rules the world over. It’s a role playing thing. Is it wrong? That’s for you to decide for yourself. Not others.

"but what about karlach? He's a massive jackass to her when he ascends" ...Yes. He's not a good guy. Karlach is basically the goodest character in the game. It won't work. And if you do break up with him, he lashes out and says some extremely hurtful things. Because you just broke his heart. It's a perfectly normal response from someone being completely blindsided. He thought you wanted this. You said you wanted this. After everything you both did you get here, he feels betrayed. Not even to mention ascended Astarion does not make you just a regular spawn. You quite literally become his vampire spouse. He thanks you for putting your trust in him. Then eventually you become a true vampire with time. He wants to make sure tav doesn't go insane after being turned. If you wanna learn more about vampire spouses in DnD I highly reccomend doing some google searches. It's fascinating. Is ascending him the right thing to do? No, but it's not "wrong". The game doesn't work that way. Is keeping him a spawn the right thing to do? Maybe, if your character thinks it is. Either route has their sets of pros and cons. It's up to you which ones you think work for your playthrough.

I almost always convince him not to go through with the ritual. But ascended Astarion + durge is a power couple and the vibes are immaculate for evil runs. Just have fun with the game! The devs made all these character arcs for you to explore! Thanks for reading <3

[whateversawesome]

About Twiyor, Damianya and Chapter 96

Let me start by saying that, I like both stories and that both ships are great precisely because they're so different:

Twiyor is a relationships between two adults. Is it developing slowly? Yes, of course. The slow-pacing of the relationship is what makes it so real. Here's why:

Entering a relationship as an adult, and I mean any kind of relationship (romantic, friendship, or even work relationship) can be tricky. Why? Well, adults have more experience, they've seen and gone through more things, the carry psychological issues, and, in some cases (like Twilight's) trauma. All this makes it difficult to open up and trust people. Twight's character arch is precisely about trust and vulnerability and that's one of the issues that pushes the story forward.

So, even though I would love to see Twiyor kiss like in many fics, this will take time. Maybe it's not as obvious because there's not a lot of physical contact between them (yet 😏), but there's definitely progress in their relationship (more on that here and here).

The development of their relationship is so beautiful! Can you see it too? On one side, we have a man who lost everything and thinks of himself only as a tool for peace slowly regaining his humanity through love. On the other hand, we have an innocent woman turned into a weapon, who is slowly realizing she's much more than that, and getting to know herself while falling in love. Come on!!! You don't want to miss that!

Even though it may take a while to get there, I think it's one of those things worth the wait.

Now Damianya in my opinion is about innocence and the development of a deep friendship.

Talking specifically about chapter 96, to me, it makes sense that Anya's secret slipped out. I don't think she consciously decided to tell Damian. I believe it just kind of slipped out because:

1.It's easier for kids to trust other kids and open up.

2. This is the second time Damian guessed her secret.

3. They are kindred spirits; they both were "abandoned" children (Anya while she was in the orphanage, Damian by his family) and they both seek the approval and love of their father.

4. She often uses her abilities in front of Damian and he pays enough attention to her to realize something is off.

Let me ask you something: have you ever been forced to keep a secret?

Keeping a secret is a heavy burden, isn't it? Can you imagine a 5 year old carrying that kind of burden for so long? It doesn't help that Anya was returned to the orphanage by several different families. It's implied in the story that Anya used her telepathic abilities and the other families considered her too strange too keep her. This is the reason why Anya has kept quiet: she doesn't want to be abandoned again.

Still, it must be hard for her to carry that and to feel that people wouldn't accept her exactly for who she is if they knew about her secret. So, I'm happy she was able to tell someone. In some ways, her arch is similar to Twilight's: Anya is also learning it's okay for people to see her real self and trust they will still love her. I hope that in the future, Anya learns that she can trust her parents too and I think trusting someone else is a big step into that direction.

I know it will also take some time, but I can't wait for both stories (and all the stories) in sxf to merge into one. It'll be a very exciting time or everyone when that happens.

[starlightnorris]

tuesdays - charles leclerc

word count: 1.2k

warnings: some french using google translate but not a lot

lyrics from tuesday by jake scott <3

flashbacks in italics

Two years this summer I knew it from the day I saw her We were gonna be together

"deux ans," charles says as he looks at you, a tone of disbelief in his voice. he knew from the moment he met you that he wanted a future with you, but to be here two years later was mind-blowing to him. “happy anniversary, mon amour.” his words are quiet and his fingers mindlessly trace over your skin, bringing warmth to you.

“can you believe it?” you ask, a soft chuckle leaving your lips. thinking back to when you had first met, how you were still in a relationship and charles did everything to make it known that he liked you but never crossing the line because it wouldn’t be fair to your boyfriend.

“charles, i’m sorry but i’m in a relationship,” you said, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips. you appreciated his attention, and if you were being honest with yourself, the feelings between you and your boyfriend seemed to be drifting away, something that you had never pictured happening before. you accounted the change to the chaos in both of your lives, he had recently started a new job and you were finishing up university, so the two of you were just incredibly busy at the moment. but you knew it was more than that.

so you did the thing you knew what you had to do. you ended the relationship, and after the conversation, you realized the feelings were more mutual than you thought. and while you didn’t find it to be fair to move on so quickly, you didn’t want your moment with charles to pass, so you contacted him a week later, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to see where it led.

“remember when you broke up with your ex-boyfriend so you could be with me?” charles asks, and you let out a disbelieving laugh at his words.

“it wasn’t exactly because of you, leclerc,” you say, a giggle escaping your lips as he pokes your side. “but i’m glad it happened.”

That's why I'm here to see her She doesn't know I'm in Virginia But I know she's mine forever

So I'm askin' for your blessin' And maybe just one lesson He said, "27 years, and here's my takeaway"

“charles, it’s good to see you,” your dad says, shaking his hand.

“it’s good to see you, sir,” charles says, and his heart is racing as his prepared speech runs through his mind. he’d been preparing for this moment for weeks now, but really it’s been years at this point. he’s known for a while now that he wanted to marry you, but now that he’s here to ask your father for his blessing, all the rehearsed words have just left his mind.

“sir, i want to ask y/n to marry me,” he says, the words rushing out of him, all the careful thought out words leaving his mouth in one jumbled sentence. “i came to ask for your blessing, but even if you don’t approve, i know i want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

charles’ eyes widen as he realizes what he said and he says, “i’m sorry, sir, that was incredibly rude. i respect your opinion very much, sir, but i love your daughter and will do anything i can to spend the rest of my life with her.”

your dad looks at him was an amused look, recognizing the younger man’s love for you, having felt similarly for your mother for countless years now. “you have my blessing, charles. just continue to treat her right if you know what’s good for yourself.”

“thank you, sir, i promise i will,” charles says, emotions flooding his mind.

“welcome to the family, son.”

It's not just picture perfect dancing in a white dress

“our first dance as husband and wife,” charles whispers as the two of you dance around, your family and friends watching the two of you. it had been the most perfect day, getting to marry the man you had grown to love so much. and being here with him now, getting to officially call him your husband… the feeling was unmeasurable.

“i can’t believe we’re actually married,” you say, shaking your head with a soft laugh.

“well believe it, mrs. leclerc,” he says softly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips which elicits a cheer from the people around you.

It's not just rainy days when nothing stops the fighting

“i’m not in the mood for this conversation, charles,” you say, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips. “i’m tired and i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit excuse you come up with now.”

“y/n, i’ve been working! i am barely here during the season, you can’t expect me to want to clean around the house during the short time i’m here,” he yells, making you flinch.

“that’s the problem, charles! you’re never here but when you are, you make the house a fucking mess and then expect me to be the one to clean it.” you run a frustrated hand over your face, feeling the tears welling in your eyes. you quickly try to blink them away, but charles catches the change in your demeanor, quickly moving over to you.

“mon ange,” he whispers softly, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear that had escaped. you wanted to move away from his touch, but instead you leaned into it, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “i’m sorry, i’m just frustrated with the team and not winning, but that’s no excuse for me to treat you like this.”

“it’s okay, charles.”

“no, amour, it’s not,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. “i will clean up first thing in the morning, but can i just hold you right now? i think we both need that.”

you nod wordlessly, leaning into his hold. marriage was hard and the demands of charles’ job had taken it’s toll on the relationship at times, but you both knew that these lows were worth fighting through, because at the end of the day, you knew that you were soulmates.  

It's not just highs and lows, and champagne toast I've come to know that love's not only the best days Or the worst days Love is the Tuesdays Yeah, love is the Tuesdays

“good morning, amour,” charles says softly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you closer to him. “i missed you.”

“you’ve been home all week, char,” you say with a laugh, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.

“i know, but i still missed you, i missed just waking up with you on a day where we don’t have anything to do.” his eyes travel to your lips and he slowly moves to kiss you, his hand going behind your neck to pull you closer. “i miss these moments when I’m away.” he continues to press soft kisses to your lips, and a giggle falls from your lips.

you loved these days more than anything. a day that it was just the two of you, nothing planned, just getting to spend time together. “i love you,” you whisper against his lips, feeling him smile as he hears your words.

sorry this was kinda all over the place

[yannaryartside]

WHIT SIDNEY, THERE IS NO OTHER SHOE

OR

WHY DO THE BERZATTO SIBLINGS CHOOSE THEIR PARTNERS?

I will kick off this thesis with the belief that Sidney and Pete are Carmy's and Natalie's respective otps. They are destined, romantic partners. This seems to be what the show is pointing at.

I was reading "Sana tus heridas en pareja" by Anamar Oihuela, which explores the possibility of healing your inner child's wounds in a romantic relationship. I do not want to circle around why people select their romantic partners (that shit is quite complex), but the childhood wounds that we have that make us feel attracted to certain personalities or look for love in a certain way, with a particular shape. What are the Berzatto siblings really looking for, that will be healing for them?

THE WOUND

The Berzatto sibling grew up in a toxic environment, filled with the addition of their parents (drugs and gambling) and whatever strain those would create between the couple. The mother (the most present parent, apparently) was also emotionally immature. She would use insults and threats of harm or self-harm whenever she felt abandoned. Hence, the siblings grew up hypervigilant and afraid of upsetting her in any way . Most people seem to agree that Carmy has Complex PTSD, created during his early childhood but aggravated by his time as a chef. "I have to remind myself that the sky is not falling, not waiting for the other shoe (...) there is always another shoe." I am sure the CPTS can be applied to Nat as well. They never formed a secure attachment to their parents, which requires trust, the knowledge of the parent of the child's emotions, guiding them, and making them feel valued, loved, and secure. The kid can develop because he/she knows their needs will be met. That was impossible in such a dangerous (for a child) and unpredictable environment. Unpredictable and insecure are attributes I want to focus on. 

WHY PETE?

I love this man, and the show seems to be putting a lot of effort into making him look, talk, and behave in the most opposite to anybody in the Berzatto family; he doesn't get along (or is approved) with anybody at the beginning, and Carmy only likes him after Pete stood up for Carmy's career. Sometimes, even Nat seems to think he may be too passive or compliant. Like in the finale, it kinda bothered me that he was trying to give her his admiration, support, and approval (which she never received from her family, including Carmy in some instances). She is too busy dreaming about her mother coming in and giving her all exactly what Peter is giving her. It's pretty poetic. She chooses to marry this man for a reason; she loves him for a reason, which is more evident when Pete is crying, and she actually pays attention to him, admiring his transparency and sensibility, again, things that she never could expect of a parental figure. She may sometimes think he is "too passive" or predictable and takes him for granted; because she grew up surrounded by loud men who acted confident even if they were shit, part of her subconscious might be attracted to that reckless behavior. Still, she finds sensibility more attractive in the end because it is too rare for her. She knows that relationships with men like his father and his brother Mickey end up with her feeling like the emotional regulator that she wanted to be for her mom. Ultimately, the keys to her heart are predictability and transparency because they form trust, a secure attachment. And it is funny because those are precisely the same keys to Carmy's heart, but he sees them in a different context.

WHY SIDNEY?

Added to the context of his childhood, the wound that Carmy seems to feel the most is, no surprise, created by his relationship with Mickey. As pointed out by some excellent analysis, Mickey is the father figure in Carmy's life, the closest thing to a secure attachment he could ever have. He describes Mickey in his AA monologue "I thought I was my brother's best friend." Mickey was the person he thought he could always rely on, the one he knew well, and Mickey knew him too. Even though he felt hurt by Mickey cutting him out, when he comes back for Christmas, you can see Carmy hold to the hope that whenever is the time, he could come back, and his brother will be waiting for him. And then, Mickey dies. Carmy didn't know he used drugs or was depressed, the perfect image of his strong, funny, almighty brother crumbling before him. The questions pop out: Why he didn't reach out to me? He didn't see me as a confidant? Why did he lie to me all those times? All that trust was based on a lie. It is not a surprise that Carmy didn't go to the funeral. It could have literally sent in on a shutdown. Later in the show, we hear Mickey's voice echoing in Carmy's mind, "I am right here" "I got you." That is what he thought his brother was: his ultimate support. But he wasn't, not at the end; Mickey lied about how he was feeling, hiding from him the aspect of his life that would eventually vanish Mickey from Carmy's life without warning. 

Mickey's suicide was that shoe he was afraid of, the worst possible, the one that made him believe there is always another shoe.

What does this have to do with Sidney?: predictability and transparency. Sidney is the most transparent and constant person Carmy knows now, the one that he actually thinks he knows. When asked to do something, she gives her honest opinion of why she thinks ais a good or bad idea. She also organized, analytical, hopeful, and eager to serve others. She is the one that offers help when Mickey (it seems) didn't accept any form of it. She develops a detailed plan to save his brother's restaurant because anybody in their family is too dysfunctional to do so. A person with actual answers. But most of all, she is transparent, at least to a reasonable extent, usually only forced upon feeling frustrated. She asks him for open and honest communication. She communicates her needs, feelings, and expectations consistently, even when he doesn't want to listen. He gets frustrated because he is too wired but always realizes that she is leading him in the right direction. Christ, she even managed to express her feeling about Claire being in his life (and the impact it had on the restaurant and their partnership) and even gave him commitment advice without revealing that the root of it all was her feelings for him. With her, there is no other shoe because every single thing that has gone wrong between them is something that she previously has warned him about. Sidney always reaches out. She has made mistakes because she is green in season one. Still, in season two, when she has her shit together, Sidney keeps asking him to be his partner and communicating her needs, but Carmy fails anyway. Still, he can't say that she hid things from him that were important to their relationship like Mickey did. 

I am not saying that if they get together, Sidney will be able to predict their problems because that's impossible. She has relationship issues, too (I am talking about that tattoo, damn, I can't wait for season 3), but so far, he knows she intends to tell him her needs; that's who she really is. I think he recognized that nature of her early on in season one and then developed a hyper-awareness of Sidney's demeanor, too afraid of losing his most solid connection, and this time, is not based on a lie. I think that when, in the future, he starts to feel her hiding things from him (possibly about her past), he going to be really mortified, like, "You got me, and I got you, so why are you not letting me know the things I need to know so I can get you" type of thing.

THE FIGHT THAT IS COMING

But this has a dark side. Carmy thinks she is solid and trustworthy and that whatever he asks of her, she will find a way to do, so he relies on her to have the space to deal with his mental turmoil. Carmy is not there for her when she solves problems or confronts the mobs in the front. He is dealing with the chaos in his mind and his family. I am not saying that is bad; teamwork is power. Still, like, dude, he had known her for 3 whole weeks and decided to go to an overdue AA meeting in "Brigade," leaving her to deal with the consequences of the job environment created by Mickey. In that whole speech, "I hold you to a higher standard", I know he meant that in the context of work because they both have been in that environment of strict efficiency, but the standard could also be personal, "I think you are solid and trustworthy so I need you to be" is probably what Carmy is thinking. Didn't somebody else notice this tendency to show Carmy taking breaks after he knows Sidney is handling shit? 

In "Brigade," right after seeing her in control of the kitchen for the first time and hiring her, he goes to take a smoke break, and in "Sheridan," when she has set up this fantastic set for cooking and selling outside, he also goes to take a smoke break and give Marcus a pep talk, like seriously...they were saying something here. Trusting Sidney, because she has proven efficiency in every imaginable circumstance has given him (a break) a space to feel his feelings. You don't have that when you grow up in a toxic household. This is also the reason thinking of her calms his panic attacks. And the reason he gave himself a chance with Claire (lol, your trust in your future wife is the reason you can get a girlfriend). 

 

Managing a business like this is difficult with a sound mind. It requires discipline and clarity. And Carmy has too much emotional baggage that was going to try to escape any other way. He looks for healthy spaces for it to do so but has yet to learn the core of his issues. He is applying medicine without closing the wound (THERAPHY). That's why he says, "I wouldn't even want to do it without you; you make me better at this." No joke, Sidney is his walking stick, emotionally and in the workplace, the whole reason he was able to go this far. 

He praises her for her efforts, usually afterwards, when everything is calm. She likes that because she admires him (and has a crush on him). But damn, man, a million things could have gone wrong even in season one, and I wouldn't have blamed Sidney. And the dude exploded because she made a computer error in the to-goes? You had it coming. And then, season two happens. Carmy is a ghost in the restaurant, again, dealing with the chaos of his mind, emotions, and a fucking childhood crush. And what Sidney does? She handles it, she lets him wonder and solve his shit, and the restaurant is saved for her, with the help of everyone, the redemption of Richie, and the leadership of Nat. Carmy puts her in the second most powerful position, something she has never done before, without almost no support of guides, not about detecting good staff or creating a menu from scratch. She takes her motivation from Coach K and "adapts on a dime" because "she has to," in her own words. Again, that's her journey, being able to trust herself and believe in her potential. But what would happen when she cannot be his walking stick anymore? He already knows he failed, but what if Sidney has her own baggage to deal with in season 3, something she feels so ashamed of that she doesn't communicate with him? Would the need to be her support force him to look at his self-sabotage, so he can be someone predictable and transparent for her? Man, I LOVE THIS SHOW. That was a long one. Thank you for reading. 

[journey-to-the-attic]

Pspspspspsps do you have any HCs for IK babysitting the little guys

okay keep in mind i don't actually know what happened in that kid pop quiz, so this is the literal premise of "these got turned into little primary school boys".

how i imagine this happening: satan + solomon are brewing some dastardly potion and asmo + simeon come in to chat with/ask them about what's going on. lucifer walks in, gets highly suspicious and tries to intervene, solomon accidentally drops something into the cauldron, and then it's hiss, BANG, child

i'll put the boys at around 7 years old both physically and mentally - they retain their usual memories, but they're kind of vague and hand-wavey about what exactly they remember - so they recognise everyone they're meant to but don't know why in particular

the potion going BANG happens at the rad and prof baal is down the hall, so they (attracted by the sound of explosions, their one true love) quickly show up

when they open the door there are five little boys sitting around in various states of shock. solomon turns around and sees this crazy-looking adult in with big glowing goggles and spiky hair, and also has the distinct feeling he's done something wrong, and subsequently starts crying

this sets asmo off, which sets simeon off, which makes satan angry so now he's loudly scolding them for crying for no reason

lucifer just sits there silently, apparently trying to process everything in his now significantly smaller brain

prof baal can only do one thing. leave

and call diavolo

who calls ik because he can't get the boys to stop crying, and when asked for help barbatos just inadvertently made solomon cry more

eventually ik, reeling somewhat, gets them all calmed down and ascertains what happened

unfortunately the two main guys who would be able to figure out a reverse potion are little boys now. so diavolo takes the issue to wiz and ik continues to hang out with the kids

it's. fun?? it's also incredibly jarring

big news! wiz is going to need at least a weekend to analyse the remains of the potion and reverse engineer its effects! the kids are going to have to stay at the castle in the mean time!

so let's get to know them:

lucifer: very serious and earnest - tries to act mature and rein the others in, which is mostly ineffective. likes having his hand held but won't admit it. very particular about keeping himself neat and gets annoyed when he feels he's being talked down to. spends most of his time quietly following ik around.

satan: closer to 6yo and very energetic - runs around exploring things, crawls into whatever spaces he can fit into to. his lucifer-grudge manifests in one of those kiddie rivalries where he has to prove he's the COOLEST one. likes to be read to when he's calm, dislikes it heavily when lucifer is praised in front of him

simeon: just the sweetest little guy... very smiley and bright, seeks approval to an almost worrying degree, kind of clumsy. a little shy around the other boys but super outgoing with the grown-ups (and ik + luke), tries to help out even when he doesn't know what he's doing, and consequently breaks things

solomon: also very energetic, very loudly curious, asks a lot of questions but is moving too fast to actually hear the answers. one of those kids with grabby hands and very little sense of personal space. also keeps having magic accidents because he's not great at controlling his powers in this state

asmo: cheerful but also very blunt and honest with his words. cries quite easily but is also easily consoled; enjoys playing make-believe and dress-up, but very insistent that you do it HIS way. likes being carried around and gets a little crabby if he doesn't get attention for too long

the others are involved in looking after the boys as well but i'm just going to focus on ik for brevity's sake

ik has at least three of the kids surrounding her at all times

at any given moment, at least one of them wants to be carried. another one has something cool to give her. another one wants her to follow them and look at something. lucifer is probably still clinging to her hand the entire time.

the other boys play. lucifer reads a little bit, tries to tell them off, then spends the rest of his time walking around and looking for ik so that she will hold his hand. nevertheless he will look away when asked about this and insist it's nothing

solomon spends a not insignificant amount of time trying to cause as much trouble for barbatos as possible - he's clearly conspiring with some of the little ds as well - and forces ik to go on constant tours around the castle with him so that he can ask her questions at a billion miles per hour

he keeps pointing at things and accidentally making them explode or erupt into flames, or trying to conjure pretty lights and instead summoning bats

he walks into the kitchen with a massive rat in his hands and barbatos almost bodily hurls him out of the window

satan can sprint around the entire castle (including up and down the towers) before he exhausts himself, and he is the bane of lucifer's seven year old life because he will not stop BOTHERING him

satan can theoretically still read at his usual level but he 1. can't sit still long enough do so and 2. now lacks the neural power to comprehend super complex paragraphs, so when he tuckers himself out, he makes ik read him super morbid history books from the castle library

(lucifer is there too, sitting cross-legged and listening solemnly. when satan gets squeamish or spooked he looks at lucifer and reminds himself that he MUST get a better grade in scary stories than him)

(inevitably satan falls asleep and ik will let lucifer pick a book to switch to. when satan wakes up he is inevitably very mad about this)

asmo REFUSES to exert his little legs on the castle steps, so ik has to carry him, never mind the fact that she is also not very well equipped to be taking those stairs

ik plays house with him and pretends to be a little old grandpa, which delights asmo to no end

ik brushes out his hair and he insists on returning the favour, and then tangles a bunch of ornaments in her hair because he thinks it'll look pretty

sometimes he walks into things and cries even if it didn't hurt at all because he likes being fussed over

simeon's just happy to be here!

he tries to help the little ds with chores but mostly just undos their progress (and trips himself down the stairs in the process)

he likes being doted on but doesn't know how to express that, so instead he'll follow ik around, looking at her with these really big hopeful eyes

the boys like to play tag or hide-n-seek in the castle gardens, though the grounds are so extensive that they will inevitably get lost

lucifer has a knack for finding them - he'll silently slip off while ik and barbatos are wondering what to do, and come back with everyone in tow like a border collie herding sheep

when he's finally persuaded into joining their games, satan pushes him into a pond and then immediately tattles on himself because he feels bad

ik gets them to hold hands until they've made up (and barbatos takes a picture that both satan and lucifer will hunt him down for once they're back to normal)

they make fairy cakes together and asmo's decorations are 1. a flower, 2. himself, 3. a cat, 4. himself again, and 5. someone getting their head chopped off????

[iamnmbr3]

Hi again :)

Two questions actually:

First why didn't Lucius buy Draco another broom? I know JKR meant for Harry to have the bestest broom ever but I wonder why Draco never got a broom upgrade? His parents can afford it and I dont see why Lucius would deny his son a faster broom. Especially after he became prefect.

Second, why exactly is Harry so obsessed with Draco early on? Its obvious why Draco goes after Harry given he is famous and all. But why the other way around? Before Draco ever really did anything to hurt him, he was putting Draco on the same level as his abusive cousin, which makes no sense, and getting all angry at Draco getting care packages. What's his problem? Why pay this rich kid so much attention??

Hello! :D Once again, thank you for your patience. This was a cool ask so I wanted to do it justice.

1)

On your first point, I think a couple of factors are at play, but basically Lucius was probably feeling a bit fed up at that point and also he quickly had other things on his mind due to Voldemort's return. What do I mean by that? Well, in second year he already seems annoyed with Draco for coming second to Hermione in school and is kind of Done TM with hearing Draco talk about or complain about Harry (to be fair Draco did seemingly spend the whole summer doing this). Then he goes out and gets Draco on the Quidditch team and buys the entire team really good brooms. And Draco STILL loses to Harry (though only just). And presumably still comes second to Hermione in school. I think Lucius might've been less than pleased with this.

Plus, Draco's more of a talker than a doer. Yeah he complains about Hermione but he doesn't actually do anything to her because of his aversion to violence. If Lucius and his Death Eater buddies had got ahold of her at the Quidditch Cup they wouldn't have insulted her. They would have hurt her. And they would have enjoyed it. Draco would not have the stomach for that, and Lucius might already be beginning to suspect that. Not to mention, Lucius actually doesn't approve of Draco's open rivalry with Harry. He feels that it is smarter to at least pretend (at this stage) to like Harry since openly seeming anything other than grateful for Voldemort's fall is unwise politically. Draco of course is incapable of leaving Harry alone since if he can't be in Harry's life as his friend he's determined to be in his life as his Nemesis TM. Lucius probably views this as shortsighted and is likely annoyed by it.

Furthermore, the Firebolt is REALLY expensive. Even Harry, with all his wealth, decides it would be unwise to buy it. I mean, it's not really something you would usually use for a school team. It's what professionals at the Quidditch Cup use. So after buying a whole team's worth of brooms and being a bit displeased with Draco, Lucius may not be in the mood to get him something so fancy. Still, Lucius might have bought it for Draco eventually but let's remember the timing. Harry gets the broom midway through third year. Lucius doesn't feel inclined to rush out that minute and buy Draco a new broom (again).

And then fourth year rolls around. The Triwizard Tournament means there's no Quidditch so there's no point. Plus Lucius is probably distracted by the fact that his Dark Mark is getting clearer every day and oh no what if Voldemort isn't actually dead? What if he comes back? What if he's mad at all the people who didn't stay faithful to him...?

And then Voldemort DOES come back. And Lucius has...so many problems. First he has to tell Voldemort that he kinda sorta might've lost his diary. Whoopsie. And that...does not go well. then he's busy trying to stay alive and un-tortured and trying to regain Voldemort's favor during fifth year. And then he gets caught at the Department of Mysteries and arrested. Probably broom buying is the last thing on his mind.

2)

(First, as an aside, I don't know that Draco's interest in Harry is purely based on his fame. I mean, he tries to befriend and impress Harry in Madam Malkin's before he even knows who he is.) But anyway, both of them seem to be mutually drawn to each other even though their relationship is an acrimonious one almost from the beginning. Yes, Harry almost immediately takes a dislike to Draco. But he's also very aware of him. And that...never stops.

I'm not sure I would say that Harry exactly puts Draco on the same level as Dudley, but he is immediately reminded of Dudley due to Draco's boasting. Draco speaks in a way that makes Harry think he is spoiled and privileged...like Dudley. Draco also declares he'll bully his father into getting him a broom. This is a boast because he's trying to show off to impress Harry.

Lucius and Narcissa are not Vernon and Petunia. They do a lot for Draco but they would never allow him to push them around the way Dudley does his parents. Harry doesn't know this however, and takes Draco at his word which makes him draw a parallel to Dudley in his mind. Draco's bullying and bigoted behavior also further turns Harry against him. He's never afraid of Draco though in the way he is of Dudley, so the dynamic is different.

But yeah. Harry is...really hyper aware of Draco. Not because he's scared of him. But just because he can't seem to look away. They orbit and play off each other right from day one. Harry immediately recognizes Draco when he meets him again on the train (and Draco also remembers Harry right away). He watches Draco's sorting and where he goes to sit. He dreams of Draco his very first night.

I'm not sure Harry even knows why this is. There's just something about Draco that he's drawn to, even when they aren't friends, even when they are bitter rivals. They can never forget each other or look away from each other. Harry isn't like this with other people he dislikes. He's not like this about Zacharias Smith or Crabbe or Goyle or Michael Corner or Cormac McLaggen or even Snape or Voldemort.

There's something different with Draco. Something more. To me, that something is drarry.

[throwaway-yandere]

Hi! I have my birthday on the anniversary, how do you think the SAGAU characters would react? For some reason I can see an emphasis on remaining Khaenri'ahns like Kaeya clinging onto whatever they can find of those customs, and yeah, apparently celebrating the birth of Teyvat was a big thing over there. (I can also see Ayaka being very happy <3) Have a good day!

YANDERE!SAGAU CHARACTERS CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY (Hysteric Humanoid)

A/n: Omg happy birthday anon!!! o⁠(*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)o i hope you have a fantastic day too!!!

I'm not sure if you're referring to the Yan!SAGAU Hysteric Humanoid or not, because most of the cast in HH are pretty violent towards the reader (e.g: Aether nearly killed the reader, Zhongli tried to kidnap them, Rhinedottir manipulated you, etc). It's not a very happy story. People don't revere you. They actively hunt you down. Hence, I'm not sure you got the right author for this haha, I don't exactly write happy endings… I don't want to dump all those things on your birthday ;;----;;;

You deserve a happier response, so I'll be focusing on some of your devotees in the fic (at the time of chapter 1)!

Might be a little spoiler-y but oh well!

----------

Characters: Dainsleif, Abyss! Lumine, Baizhu, Kaeya, Venti, Zhongli, and Kamisato Ayaka.

Before the three of you separated, Dainsleif often tried to do something special for you, and it's almost always practical (I say this because you've traveled with him for centuries, and not once did he give you something extravagant–). He thinks gifts are great as a concept, but it doesn't translate well with reality. Dain thought about fighting bosses for you just to give you a present but then weighed down that leaving you alone was too dangerous. Customs be damned. He believes that your safety is worth more than fleeting happiness. You understand, don't you? Being empty-handed makes him miserable too. Please be content with your scarf for now.

Things are a bit different after Chapter 1. He's a lot more bitter and reserved. Dainsleif is not afraid to act brutal around you if it means proving that he can and will protect you. He doesn't care if you don't approve or if you "hate" him. But the upside to this is that he'll drag you along to get you your present. Just say whatever you desire ("leave" is not an option) and he'll pluck it out of a corpse for you. After that, it's just another day. You're both over 500 years old. And it doesn't help that the Abyss Order is always up to something when it's your birthday.

Lumine, however, believes that "fortune favors the bold". C'mon, it's The Creator's birthday! She'd take any excuse to celebrate (after all, she's secretly down too, you know.) Lumine understands that for some people birthdays are a big deal. While personally, she doesn't like having hers become a big spectacle (she misses her brother), she wants you to be bombarded by her attention. Flowers! Feathers! Anything that catches her eye will surely find its way into your inventory. She'd peck you on your cheek and tell you that you deserve the world– and Lumine will not stop until she gives you just that. After all, she already promised that she'll bring you home someday with her brother too.

As the Princess of the abyss, she honors her word. Everything she does is for the home she wished to share with you. This is why Dainsleif keeps an eye on your birthday– she has a habit of conducting special operations during this time. She's awfully sentimental. If he didn't burn all the letters she left for you, you would've known that her obsession is a lot more terrifying and burdensome than you thought.

Baizhu doesn't know when your birthday is. But he DID help you make a fake birth certificate so he pretends that that's your real birthday (it's not.) On your/Jianfeng's birthday, he sadistically gives you a herb-flavored cake, made only with the bitterest ingredients Qiqi could find. The doctor explains that it helps maintain blood pressure among other health benefits– while he does speak the truth, it doesn't mean he doesn't have any ulterior motives. You know damn well he just wants more blood samples. If you could pass your immortality to Baizhu you would, but he wouldn't accept that. He wants to be immortal with you, and he will not accept any shortcuts.

You met Kaeya when he was 18 years old. I won't say how you met, but you've known each other for around 3-4 years. Kaeya considers himself your friend first and being your acolyte is nothing more than a cute title. He's not knowledgeable about Khaenri'ahn customs regarding birthdays, instead, he'll celebrate it his way… so expect alcohol. Kaeya knows that you hated how pretentious people are when they celebrate The Creator's birth. You couldn't handle all the noise, especially since you're convinced that you're an "impostor". He'd do his best to isolate you from any other "unwanted" attention by taking you somewhere only you both know. The air around Windrise feels nice this evening– he'll help you climb up the branches. You'd join him, right? This is a pretty sentimental place for him. He often hides here whenever he got into a fight with Diluc, you should know by now that he's being vulnerable by inviting you here.

Other than that, there's no doubt that he'd tease you about your age, and subtly remark where his loyalty lies. He knew after observing the Twilight Sword that chivalry remains unpaid despite 500 years of service, but he would still offer his body to whatever plans you wish would befall Teyvat. What is love without a bit of sacrifice, right?

Is it really a surprise that Venti dedicates songs for you on your birthday? Probably not. Especially when he did this more than a hundred times? Probably not. Does he care? Well, you can't tell. Either way, if you spent your birthday in Mondstadt getting dragged along by Kaeya's whims then the bard will find you eventually. Much to the cavalry captain's dismay, the archon would climb up the branches just to sing you a song. Afterward, you'd both try to push him out. Keyword: try. By the end of the day, the three of you would be the drunkest people in Teyvat. He'll end up clinging to your arm, sometimes sticking his tongue out whenever Kaeya makes a disgruntled noise. Venti will make sure to remind him that he's known you longer than him, that Kaeya is just a child in your eyes. They're both absolutely immature. You'll, unfortunately, need Dainsleif to get these two off of you.

Ahhh, Zhongli. Gosh, I wish I could just spoil my plans for him but I'll do my best to answer this without revealing much. He's no God of Stove, but he will serve you food, specifically jade parcels and his specialty dish, slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup. With somber eyes, Morax– not Zhongli– would reminisce the times you've spent together in mindless rambles, even if those memories evade you. He'll feed you kindly, asking if it tastes just like the first day you first met. When he doesn't get the response he desperately craved, he'll take you back to Qingce Village. Please… can't you give him at least one smile? He missed your company.

(I love Ayato but I can't include him here because he does not have faith in the reader. At all.)

Kamisato Ayaka is superstitious. Or at least, something close to that. For the longest time, she believed her mother when she said thunder is nothing more than the Electro Archon's way of communicating. Like everyone else, her sense of self did not exist at birth. A 5-year-old will always see themselves as the main protagonist of their own life– unburdened by social responsibilities and the weight of what will happen to their clan. And when the Kamisato Clan almost crumbled, she put her blind faith in one other person besides her brother.

You.

She firmly believes it was fate that you both share the same birthday and that it made her closer to you than anyone else. In times that she does not trust her confidence, she thinks of you. What would The Creator do if they were in her shoes? What would They have told her? And thankfully it helped.

That's why before she met the traveler, she never once celebrate her birthday– she celebrated yours.

"Happy birthday, Your Grace. I will not forget to glorify all that you have done and will do. Please continue to guide me in another year of living."

[lassieposting]

Fletcher for therapy please

Oh Fletcher would do great in therapy. Like, 10/10 client good job

It'd take him several years - and probably some prompting from Ghastly, whose opinion he respects - to get him to realise he should really go, largely because he's surrounded by a social circle that isn't very open to the concept.

When we meet Fletcher, he's a hurting teenage boy who badly wants approval from a role model. And while he does eventually get some good solid advice (as well as time and empathy) from Ghastly, that's only after he splits up with Val and feels like he has nowhere else to turn. Prior to this, he actually spends several years fruitlessly trying to win that approval from Skug. Which is a problem, because Skug isn't in the market for a surrogate son. He sees Fletcher primarily as a rival for Val's attention and secondarily as a nuisance, which leads to a situation where Fletcher is consistently trying to impress him and getting knocked back. And we see that Fletch remains selfconscious about Skug's opinion of him for years after he gives up trying to bond - he makes two really obvious attempts to reestablish their relationship on an even footing and remove himself from that subordinate clinger-on role (i.e. shaking hands as adults); he clearly expresses that he's not thought of or treated as part of the team; he knows he's Mickey to Skug's Doctor and Val's Rose. He's the tin dog.

And that's the thing: from what we see of Fletcher, he's actually very introspective. When he speaks to Ghastly, he's clearly done a lot of thinking about why and how his life has ended up the way it has. And he's done that all on his own, because who's going to listen to him?

So like. He's not going to ask Skug and Val to recommend a therapist. He knows exactly how they'd react. Skug is an incredibly macho manly man - Special Forces, law enforcement, and from a time before anyone knew or acknowledged that mental health was a thing - so he's fiercely adamant that he, traumatized as he is, doesn't need therapy (ha) and he's openly dismissive of the concept to Val. He'd laugh, or take the piss, or make a shitty little comment, and Val would laugh along with him because that's what they do.

But approval from Ghastly - who's equally macho, equally manly, but far more well adjusted - gives him the confidence to start thinking about it. And then after Moira tries to kill him, he actually makes an appointment.

A lot of Fletcher's issues come down to trust and abandonment. He has no dad. His mom died on him. He's been used and undervalued by Val and Skug and the rest of the gang for years. Val cheated on him. Reflectionie died on him as well. This is a boy for whom nobody has ever stuck around long term. A boy nobody has ever prioritised. And he has to learn to work through the negative impact that has on self-worth and self-esteem, and learn to stop Yes Man-ing Valkyrie and her friends and prioritise himself. And he wants a more normal life - Lardo makes him teach for some reason, I keep him with the Monster Hunters. So that means distancing himself from his ex and the people in her circle, even though he feels like they're all he has. He knows he'll never get to have that more normal life while he's hanging out with people who seem to attract trouble in various eldritch and evil forms. He has to learn boundaries - how to make and defend them. He has to learn to stop being drawn to girls he wants to save, and start looking for partners who are as mature and invested as he is. He has to completely relearn how to relate to others.

And like. He knows he needs these skills. He wants things to get better. So he goes to his sessions, he does his homework. He comes in with theories and suggestions and ideas.

His therapist loves him. Good job, Fletcher.

[other-shades-of-sapphire]

Sorry, I Love You – Changbin

Changbin x childhood friend Lee Chaeyeon, circa March 2020

When Changbin felt he might fall into the same pattern as his two hyungs, he decided to ask them for some advice.

"Wait, so you actually have feelings for her? Like, actual feelings?" 

Chris pushed Minho, who was starting to giggle, by his shoulder not so kindly. "Yah, don't be so mean!" 

Changbin rolled his eyes at his second eldest hyung, who made little to no effort to stifle down his laugh despite Chris' previous assault to his shoulder. "Just because the two of you were successful in turning your long-time friends into lovers doesn't mean others will succeed too, you know. 

"But how will you know if you don't do it?" Chris asked. 

The hyung got a point, Changbin had to admit. But, "There's just so much at stake, you know? We've been friends since we're very little – our parents are even still giving each other Christmas gifts every year. I don't want things to get awkward between us." 

"So that's why you never did any dance challenges with Chaeyeon," Minho wondered once his laughter receded. "You've only done them with Chaeryeong." 

"But it'll only get awkward if she doesn't feel the same," Chris pressed on, ignoring Minho's unhelpful comment. "Which, again, you won't know if you don't tell her." 

"But I don't have any reasons to believe she feels the same," Changbin pointed out. "It's just too risky. Chaeryeong and Chaemin are practically my sisters by now, how would they react if I asked out their unnie out of the blue? How do I even start?" 

"Be a man and man up," Minho provided, not much more helpful than his previous remark. "I kissed Iris on our very first date. That's how you be a man and man up." 

This time it was Chris' turn to roll his eyes at the second eldest. "But you had considerably less to risk than Changbin, though. If Iris weren't interested, you both could just move on with your lives. Your families didn't even know each other." 

Minho hummed. "Fine, fair point. What made you brave enough to ask Bora noona out, then? You've known her family since back then, right – didn't you worry it will ever get awkward?" 

"Not really because I already knew she feels the same," Chris explained. "We've both known how we feel for each other since way before I asked her out, it was just a matter of whether we want to actually try it out or not." 

"What finally made you sure that you want to make it work with the noona?" Changbin asked. 

An involuntary smile broke on Chris' face, one Changbin often witnessed every time the leader talked about his precious fiancee. "I realized she means too much for me to not do anything about it, you know? I thought if it didn't work out, at least I've tried." 

"That's a framework you can adopt, Changbin-ah," Minho chided. "If she means that much to you, then you should try. The question is, does she?" 

Changbin didn't answer for a while, long enough for his two hyungs to start talking about something else – which he didn't pay attention to, too busy with his own mind. How much does Lee Chaeyeon mean to him, exactly? 

Truth be told, he wasn't sure himself. He wasn't sure when exactly he started seeing Chaeyeon as something more than a good friend, but somewhere along the way he's sure he'd picked up some feelings. Along the way, going to the movies with her was more of an excuse to see her rather than to see the movie. Along the way, chatting up Chaeryeong whenever they crossed paths in the JYPE building felt more like trying to get her approval for him to make his move for her sister. 

Those feelings he'd picked up were still far from love, he knew. But were they enough for him to man up and confess to her? Were they enough to risk his friendship for – not just with Chaeyeon, but most likely with her two sisters as well? Were they enough for him to want to take things further with her? "Probably not," he muttered to himself with a heavy heart. 

He sure had feelings for Chaeyeon, but it was not strong enough for him to act on it and risk his valuable friendship with her. At least not yet, anyway. 

When he looked up, both Chris and Minho were staring at him with a concerned look. "He's still thinking about Chaeyeon," Minho stated the obvious. 

Chris gave Changbin's shoulder a sympathetic pat. Then his eyes suddenly lit up. "You know what might help you figure out these things?" 

"What?" 

"Putting them into lyrics. You're always very good in breaking down feelings into words – even feelings you don't realize yet. Maybe it'll help you decide on what you want to do." 

That actually sounded like a good idea, Changbin thought. So he reached for his phone, pulled up his notes app, and started writing. 

Minho's "I kissed Iris on our very first date" can be found here, if anyone's interested.

coming up next

Find the anthology of Changbin & Chaeyeon and the rest of Stray Kids here!

[thelazyhermits]

I admit that this question mainly came about because it's a trend in the TWST fandom for some reason and I am legitimately curious, but how do you think the TWST boys would react to a small child Fortune (blame someone spiking her lunch food with a potion or something)?

Ah, the timeless age regression trope. No matter the fandom, it's always a classic lol

Just like in the world of BNHA, it's easy to imagine this happening in the world of TWST cause magic exists and cause ADeuce/Grim are a recipe for disaster during Alchemy class, so this happening to Yuu at some point is totally plausible 😂

Anyway, in regards to your question, I feel like this turn of events would be mostly welcomed by the Twst boys since they're all pretty good with children to various degrees, which is rather surprising considering how they all normally are lol

Leona would be the main exception since he doesn't like dealing with kids, but despite this, he wouldn't be mean to Yuu since he was taught to be respectful toward women. Plus, this is his favorite little herbivore. He'll put on a show, acting like he's hating every minute of this, but he's gonna take good care of her for as long as she's with him. If she wants to cuddle up with him and play with his hair, that's exactly what he's gonna let her do, and don't even think of doing anything to upset her while in his presence or you will soon regret it haha

Putting the rest under the cut since this post got kinda long.

Ruggie is already overprotective of Yuu as it is, so now, he's even more so cause she's a small vulnerable child. He's the ultimate babysitter thanks to his years of taking care of the kids in his neighborhood, so you really can't find a better guy than him for the job despite his overprotectiveness.

Jack is also the perfect babysitter since he's attentive and has experience looking after his two younger siblings. Seeing Yuu looking so small brings out his protective instincts, so he does whatever he can to look out for her since he doesn't want anything to happen to her.

The Pop Music Club absolutely adore tiny Yuu and want her to hang out with them as much as possible. Cater wants to get as many photos and videos for Magicam as he can, and Kalim just wants to spoil her and buy her everything her little heart desires and take her on a magic carpet ride.

Meanwhile, Lilia is in dad mode. He cannot deny the allure of adopting another adorable child, so he is having a total field day. Anyone watching over Yuu better keep a close eye on her at all times, or this man will snatch her while you're not looking 😂

When Lilia succeeds in kidnapping Yuu and taking her back to their dorm, Malleus quickly takes a liking to tiny Yuu since she's still not afraid of him. He'll take good care of his favorite child of man, so he'll keep her safe from Lilia's cooking lol

Silver is very chill about this turn of events. While he's not quite approving of his father's kidnapping methods, he just goes along with it and does whatever he can to take care of Yuu. They probably end up becoming napping buddies cause I love that adorable mental image.

Sebek unsurprisingly gets jealous of all the attention Yuu is getting from Malleus/Lilia, but at the same time, he's happy to see Yuu getting treated so well since he knows she didn't have the best childhood. That's why he's very protective of her and noticeably softer when interacting with her.

Like the Pop Music Club, Floyd wants to play with Yuu since he always wants to play with her no matter her age lol Azul and Jade are two students who aren't exactly enthusiastic about this turn of events, but they're willing to do their part to look after her if necessary since they don't want anything to happen to her, and they won't charge Yuu for their services either cause she wins them over with her cute charms haha

Riddle is so awkward around Yuu since he's not used to dealing with children, but he does his best to be a good babysitter since he quickly becomes endeared to her since she's not intimidated by him/is friendly with him.

Trey naturally is a pro at looking after her, and he absolutely spoils her rotten. He'll deny it if anyone calls him out for his behavior, but it's the truth haha

Deuce is even more protective of Yuu than usual when she becomes a child. If anyone even looks at this kid wrong, he will go on the offensive lol Meanwhile, Ace tries to act like watching over her is a pain, but there's no denying that Yuu has them both wrapped around her little fingers.

Jamil is another student who's not particularly enthusiastic about this turn of events, but he's very good at looking after Yuu. He's especially gentle with her and definitely more protective of her when she's this young, but he will deny it with all his might lol

Out of the Pomefiore trio, I'd say Rook is the most excited about this turn of events since he seems like the type who loves kids, so he'd have a grand time playing with Yuu.

When Rook successfully steals Yuu away and takes her to their dorm, Vil just rolls along with it and gives her a spa day and reads one of his scripts to her when she wants to be read to.

Epel would also just roll along with this and play with Yuu/give her apples. He's probably the most calm about this, out of Yuu's sons, but like Deuce, if anyone looks at her wrong, you better watch out.

Ortho is super excited about tiny Yuu cause now he gets to be a big brother! He intends to be an awesome one, just like Idia, so he'll play all sorts of games with Yuu and give her pretty much anything she wants.

At first, Idia makes a fuss, like Leona, since taking care of a kid sounds like a pain, and he has so many other things he'd much rather do. However, Yuu eventually wins this big brother over too, so he's soon joining Ortho in spoiling her.

All in all, I'd say child Yuu is well-received by the TWST boys since they all care about Yuu to various degrees, so they'd make sure she's well taken care of until she's finally back to normal.

How things would go on Yuu's end all depends on how young she is when she's turned into a kid. If she's 3 or younger, she'd be a normal child: full of energy, sweet, loves animals, physically affectionate.

If she's 4 or older, however, Yuu would be completely withdrawn and wary of everyone. She'd rarely, if ever, smile, because she was 4 when she got brought into the underworld and ended up with Mumei/Tokumei.

A withdrawn Yuu would set off pretty much all of the guys' protective instincts/internal alarms since this is clearly a child who has been through a lot and suffered as a result. They'd all be extra gentle with her since they wouldn't wanna hurt/scare her, and a lot of them would make the effort to try to get her to smile/laugh.

So this prompt can either be pure fluff or an angst/fluff hybrid lol

[godsofhumanity]

Ok can I ask what Demeter's relationship with the other gods would be?

I saw the other asks and now I must know

hee hee sure ^-^

ZEUS

i think generally, Demeter does not get along with any of her brothers, but i believe that she gets along with Zeus the best.

as the goddess of the harvest, i think she has to work with Zeus a lot (i mean, he's the king, he's like the manager, everyone reports to him, so she has to come face-to-face with him regularly).

in their youth, i think they got along better.

because Demeter and Hera have always been close, i like the idea that Zeus goes to Demeter for advice on how to get Hera's attention because Hera isn't easily charmed by him.

i don't think there ever was a romantic relationship between Zeus and Demeter, i mean, i think what happened with Persephone was just an accidental fling or something idk.

anyways, Zeus, in my head, is such a dad-- i do think he loves all of his children abundantly, and that includes Persephone. however, when Demeter makes it clear that she doesn't want Persephone to be in Olympus, he respects that and lets her go.

but that doesn't mean he stops being a father to her. and i think of course, that sort of sentiment is exactly the reason why he allows and even encourages Hades to pursue Persephone as a wife, because the paternal side of Zeus knows that Hades could care for Persephone and that she'd want for nothing with him, so he's like "yeah ok i'll give you my blessing".

this, naturally, doesn't go well with Demeter, and i do think she perceives that Zeus has overstepped his boundaries by doing this, because while Zeus sees himself as Persephone's father, Demeter doesn't. Demeter is a sole-parent, and she only accepts Zeus' word because he's the King, not because he's Persephone's father.

HERA

read here!

tl;dr = they are besties.

HESTIA

Hestia is the older sister, right, so i think Demeter and Hestia have a good, solid relationship.

i don't think they're as tight as Hera and Demeter, but they have no beef.

i like the idea of Demeter and Hestia inventing food and recipes together, Demeter bringing the ingredients and Hestia bringing the fire.

i actually have a little scene in my Hephaestus x Aphrodite story where Demeter and Hestia invent popcorn together and all the younger Olympians are like "holy shittttttt this is awesome".

i think perhaps where Demeter and Hestia fall out is Hestia's refusal to take sides. i mean, i think she never ever actively takes one sibling's side-- she always says, "well, think about this from their perspective".

now, both Demeter and Hera are pretty headstrong characters so i think that kind of logic doesn't go down well with them, and i think while Demeter would go to Hestia for a rant, when it came to needing an actual heart-to-heart, Demeter would go to Hera first.

POSEIDON

ok. this one's complicated. i haven't really figured out for myself where Demeter and Poseidon stand, but in my hc's they dislike each other. well, Demeter at the very least, cannot stand Poseidon.

Demeter and Poseidon do have a son, the horse Arion, and i like the idea of Demeter loving Arion as she would love any of her children of course, but the exact circumstances that brought about Arion's birth are.. unspoken to me. in my hc's, no one really knows, Demeter doesn't talk about it, Poseidon doesn't talk about it. Zeus and Hera probably know but aren't telling.

so idk. but i know for sure in my mind that they do not get along at all.

HADES

ah. i think they originally would have had a relationship like Demeter and Hestia, but after Persephone, that relationship breaks down entirely.

i do agree with the general consensus that, in his youth, Hades probably wasn't as much of a "playboy" as Poseidon and Zeus, and i think that made him a little more trustworthy in Demeter's eyes, so while she'd never have approved of Hades and Persephone even if her permission had been sought, i do think they were on good terms.

however, after Hades breaks Demeter's trust by "kidnapping" her daughter, i think the relationship is pretty much irreparable.

i do like the idea that after some time, Persephone does find love in Hades, but i don't think Persephone's present happiness is enough to erase Demeter's past heartbreak and pain at losing her daughter, the apple of her eye... nor would she ever forget that the only reason why she still sees even 3x months of Persephone is because she fought tooth and nail for those "visitation rights", and if she hadn't, she'd probably only see Persephone at Olympian meetings.

for Persephone's sake, and especially under Zeus' watch, Demeter remains civil to Hades when they meet. and she doesn't bring up the past. to Hades' credit, i don't think he's the type of character to flaunt his "successful marriage" of Persephone to Demeter, nor does he try to apologise or suck-up to her (because he knows that that would only piss Demeter off more). so yeah, they remain professional.

PERSEPHONE

do i even need to say? Demeter loves Persephone. she's her daughter. she adores her. Demeter loves all of her children.

when Persephone leaves her to go to the Underworld, i think she's really shocked and sad. i mean of course she is, that's what the myths say. and i think originally, she might even feel a tinge of betrayal that Persephone doesn't want to simply stay with her forever and be a harvest goddess like her (in my hc's, after much deliberation, Persephone eats the seeds willingly, im sorry, Hades couldn't be redeemed if he forced her so yeah)... and i do think this is where Hera becomes a really strong pillar of support who encourages Demeter to understand Persephone's perspective, and helps Demeter to accept Persephone's fate.

Persephone, of course, loves her mother to no end. i know some people have the hc that Persephone wanted to get free of Demeter because she was "controlling" -- i disagree, i think that when Persephone went to the Underworld, her eyes were opened to another possible future for herself and she simply chose to pursue something a bit more ambitious- but it had nothing to do with Demeter "suffocating" her or anything like that, she simply wanted to carve her own path.

ATHENA

they don't interact too much.

i do like the idea of Athena weaving blankets and baskets and other things for Demeter, so they're on good terms-- they're more than acquaintances, less than an aunt-and-niece. they're like, two people who live in the same building and say good morning to each other when they pass on the stairwell, and like. that's it.

ARTEMIS

again, as i said in Artemis' hcs, they don't interact too much. they're respectful of each other, but other than that, they don't think too much about each other.

APOLLO

same as Artemis.

HERMES

no one is immune to Hermes.

he's a little fruit fly that comes and goes, and when he's in your house, you can't get rid of him.

as such, Hermes is one of the few Olympians who actually does appear on Demeter's farm fairly regularly because he has to deliver messages and reports and summons.

Hermes has a bit of a childish mischievousness about him, and this makes him quite likeable. he can be a suck-up sometimes, but because he's got that childlike innocence about him (not that he is innocent! he's just good at pretending to be hee hee), although Demeter doesn't care for flattery, it's cute when it comes from Hermes, so she can forgive it.

ARES

i think Demeter does adopt an "aunt"-type role with all of Hera's children.

so with Ares, she definitely sees him as her nephew, and i think Ares would be allowed on her little farm. i could see Demeter taking care of Hera's kids whenever Oceanus and Tethys are too far.

Ares is considered to be brash and violent, but i don't think this bothers Demeter... she thinks in her mind that he's just like Zeus.

HEPHAESTUS

again, same with Ares, he's Demeter's nephew.

i like the idea of Hephaestus making all of Demeter's farming tools.

before Hephaestus was born, i have a hc that Demeter may have made may of her own tools by herself so that she wouldn't have to leave her farm or ask any other god for the favour, but when Hephaestus was growing up and showed an interest in being a blacksmith, Demeter showed Hephaestus some of her own craft and how she could make crude tools... so of course, Hephaestus honours that memory of Demeter by creating more refined, more beautiful, and more sturdy tools for her to use.

DIONYSUS

it's complicated. there are like 3 versions of Dionysus, i swear-- in my timeline, i think the first incarnation of Dionysus is as Demeter's son, and Persephone, being his older sister, may have taken care of him a lot, thus causing her to be recorded as his mother instead in myth... and then somewhere along, he dies, and then he gets born as Semele's son.. IDK. i haven't figured it out.

anyways, either way, Dionysus would have a good relationship with Demeter, just like Hermes.

Dionysus would use Demeter's grain to make drinks, and her grapes to make wine, and they would invent fun new flavours and ways to cultivate the fruit.

APHRODITE

many goddesses appear to get "jealous" of Aphrodite, but i don't think Demeter is one of them. she literally just does not care.

i think Demeter and Aphrodite would have a cordial relationship- i like the idea of Aphrodite and Persephone having a good friendship-rivalry, so if she's cool with Persephone, she's cool with Demeter.

but yeah, other than that, they probably don't interact all that much.

[caliburn-the-sword]

first cress thoughts!!! and reactions!!! and everything else!!!

i am so sorry that it's literally the first paragraph of the first page but "It was a prison that came with an endlessly breathtaking view" literally no view is breathtaking once you get used to it enough why would a CHILD be banished

omg this poor girl is named after the MOON?? the irony. she literally hides from the moon when she sees it. i would go on about the symbolism and stuff but i'm not going to because my brain is too tired to function rn

cress IS a shell. but then why isn't she dead?? they're meant to be killed. erland mentioned that he lost his daughter and would be about cinder's age, but did he actually SEE it happen?? if not then i reckon she's his daughter (again cause i'm braindead obsessed with ouat not because i'm serious. i'm only 25% sure of this). but i also reckon that she's VERY valuable if she HASN'T been killed. link it to rich people having one rule for themselves and one for everyone else. so either she's useful. or someone wants her alive and is bending the rules for her. otherwise they would not be going to ALL this effort of the satellite

looks like my spy theory in the eastern fed is null - but to be fair cress might just not know about it yet. it's not exactly like she would be trusted with all state secrets and what not

"felt almost like a mother's approval" metaphorically or is sybil ACTUALLY her mother???

i love that despite the stress of having to face off against the queen, figure out how to deal with genetically engineered soldiers and all the weight they have on their soldiers they're still able to act their age and tease each other - except poor cinder

omg does cress have a little crush on thorne??? she is LITERALLY the same as those braindead gen z's on tiktok that simp for killers and stuff

OMG CRESS WAS THE ONE THAT CLOAKED THE SHIP ALL ALONG HOW DIDN'T I REALISE THAT

"Cress was convinced that she knew more about Carswell Thorne than anyone else alive" stalker alert!!! lines are blurred tho because this is literally war

oh no. scarlet has a french accent. jail. (but then is everyone speaking the same language?? or does everyone have a universal translator chip inserted???)

"said Cinder, and Scarlet could have kissed her" i KNOW it's figurative language but also i like diagnosing characters with bisexual/too damn hot disease so scarlet is now bi. if it was wolf that i called bi as well then they're bi4bi. but also i don't want to reread the entire first half of scarlet to try and remember which guy it was i decided was bi and for what reason

between cress playing like 10 different video games at once she's basically an ipad kid. her attention span has been fucked up by tiktok (just like me fr) she can't read or watch anything without subway surfers playing beneath it

also something i haven't said before now: i LOVE how all the girls of tlc have noun names. they're just like me fr. it's so gnc of them. i love their names SO much. it's giving nonbinary. evocative but like in a whimsical way~ it's somehow so fantasy but so futuristic at the same time and i live for it

DAMMIT I FUCKING DELETED AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH OF THOUGHT. gonna paraphrase here cause i'm too lazy. i'm very curious that cress calls the people of the moon lunars, mainly because she's lunar herself. like imagine i pass by a car and unironically think "oh there go the humans". it's strange. maybe it's her separation?? or is she part human and thus doesn't see herself as fully lunar??? i don't think it's because she's a shell. since the whole shell eugenics thing is a stand in for the lunar equivalent of poc, people with disabilities, minority religions, queer people etc who are all STILL human beings, hence the shells are still LUNAR. i'm sticking with my partial human theory until proven otherwise.

how FUNNY would it be if cress was completely wrong about thorne and he was just a douchebag and he was just lying after all that for sympathy. however given the textual evidence from scarlet, it would completely explain how he was completely open minded and down to support a lunar cyborg. honestly it makes him a lot more three dimensional. that said cress is still delulu

YES after what happened in scarlet i'm GLAD to see scarlet's mixed feelings towards wolf and his place in what happened to granny. forgiveness doesn't come easy!! love is hard. and yes, he has a dark side!! and she's just a normal girl. she's having one of the most human reactions i've ever seen to that kind of thing in fiction. i would have lost so much respect for her if she just ran back into his arms after all that, even tho i don't fully blame him. thanks miss marissa meyer for not just writing idiot lovesick teenagers. i can't wait to see him earn that trust back

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[onglai]

On Ali and self-worth

Ali is a character that I never thought I'd relate so much with. On first viewing all those years ago when the show came out, Ejen Ali was nothing more than a superhero cartoon show. While this wouldn't be the first time we've gotten a nuanced and complex characters in Malaysian animation history (Keluang Man, Anak-anak Sidek, Bola Kampung), Ejen Ali surprised me a lot when I went to rewatch it last year.

If you ask 16 year old me what kind of person Ali is, I'd describe him as a kindhearted and heroic kid who'll help anyone in need.

If you ask the current me, those are all still true... but in addition to that what I also see is a troubled kid who needs hugs. Lots of them.

This is going to be long.

Season 1

On the first few episodes, the show establishes Ali as a problem child. Right from the start, he is shown to be disorganized, lazy, and every undesirable quality you could imagine. His dad is distant, his mom is dead, and the only thing holding this miserable gremlin together is his sweet, sweet best and only friend Viktor.

And then comes this magical device that turns his life upside down and he lives happily ever after... not.

You know the phrase money doesn't corrupt but only amplifies what's already in someone's heart? Well, IRIS is the money in this case, and it amplifies Ali's inner insecurity. The first thing this little gremlin does after obtaining IRIS is to use it to get good marks and impress his classmates and teacher.

Being an emotionally neglected child he naturally craves attention, and nothing satisfies him more than when people give him exactly that no matter how. This ultimately reaches its climax when Ali uses his newfound fame during S1E10: Sensasi to farm his fans' adoration. He learns his lesson at the end of the episode, but this won't be the last time he goes out of his way to seek for others' approval.

This is why Rizwan is such an important figure in Ali's life. Regardless of the man's opinion towards him, Ali sees him as someone worth idolizing. The best agent in MATA, Charismatic to boot, the man is everything Ali wishes to be. And good for him, Rizwan is the perfect teacher.

Guy teaches Ali disciplines, doesn't put up with his childish sense of entitlement, and very much treats Ali like he'd do anyone. For the first time in Ali's life, someone actually sees him as his own person and doesn't demean nor overhype him.

Season 2

In this season, Ali meets the junior agents for the first time, and upon learning that they idolized him, he grows a bigger head. He starts pushing Alicia away, the only person who's looking out for his safety (her wanting to meet her dad's expectation is a discussion for another day).

Now, all this time Ali has actually been praised as an agent. He had his bad moments, but for the most part he believes himself to have contributed a lot to the agency, which isn't inaccurate. But this belief is what resulted in him doubling down in his insecurity when the mentors pointed out his flaws during his training with the other agents. He's already a nobody at school, and now comes another realization that he might also be a nobody compared to the other agents if not for IRIS.

This is where things take turn for the worse.

Again, Ali seeks to prove himself by disobeying the mentors and drags his new friends along as well. This turns out to be a bad idea when Ali watches Rizwan betray the agency and in his anguish starts attacking everyone after activating Override Mode. He later tries to deflect the blame towards IRIS which only makes the other agents hate him more.

Coupled with Rizwan's desertion and that he already burned his bridge with Alicia, he didn't have anyone to turn to anymore. In his pursuit for approval, he loses everything. This is the lowest point in his life.

Thankfully, Zain gets through to him and makes him see his worth beyond his skills, that he's helped a lot more people than anyone else has. This is a bandaid to the larger issue at hand, but it rekindles his spirit enough he can stand on two feet again.

On the flip side however, Alicia later choosing to stand by his side is likely the first time he receives (a form of) affection despite not doing anything to earn it. This is something that he'll finally learn later on during the movie.

Regardless, with Alicia's help, Ali began to take accountability for his actions and reformed his friendships with the other agents.

Movie

This movie is what happens when all of Ali issues accumulate to the point of no return.

This movie starts off with Ali realizing that he's no longer worth anything as an agent. Or rather, he's no longer the main character in the grand scheme of things. Feeling himself having been replaced by more experienced agents, this is where Ali adopts a new crutch to lean on... his mom's legacy.

On top of IRIS, a crutch that he's been holding onto to prove his worth, Ali is also burdened with Zain's expectation of him from the previous season. His excuse is that he wants to help people, which may be true to some extent, but it's obvious from the get-go that it's only one manifestation of his insecurity and self-worth issue. After all, if his MATA agent shtick doesn't have a point anymore, why not quit and start over.

Niki, whether she realizes it or not, capitalizes on this and convinces Ali to join her side. It doesn't help that the people from the slum see and appreciate what he's doing for them, which further incentivises him into staying. His growing resentment towards MATA and the likes of Dato' Othman pushes him further towards deserting the agency altogether. Alicia being his friend warned him of MATA's suspicion of him, but it's too late by then.

We've established before that for Ali, love and adoration always has to be earned before. In an ironic fashion, he runs away from Alicia, the one person who's stood by his side in his lowest point, to seek protection from someone he sees as a mother figure... who just so happens to only see him as a useful tool so long as he contributes to the slum. There is also a reverse-elitist undertone with how Niki treats him which is... yikes.

Niki betrays him and this slaps Ali hard in a lot of ways.

I wouldn't say Alicia's pep talk when they're trying to escape later is any better, cause god, ugh. Both of you need therapists. But for what it's worth, she teaches him one very valuable lesson; that he isn't alone. He has her, he has Bakar, he has so many people who care for him despite him being blind towards them.

Remember when Alicia stood by him in season 2? Well, she does it again and shows Ali that yes, love and loyalty doesn't need to be constantly earned. This is the turning point to Ali's worldview where he stops equating his worth to his usefulness.

At the end of the movie, Ali willingly gives up IRIS to make up for his mistake. But at the same time, we can see that he is much more confident in himself. He still has a need to prove himself, but starting from here, he does it in a much healthier way, as we can see in the following season.

Season 3

This is when Ali starts having a purpose. All this time, he's letting everyone else decide his worth, but after the events of the movie, he begins looking inward for acceptance of all that he is.

He knows he's weak, he knows he still has a lot to improve, so he focuses on that with his mother as his goal post.

Throughout the season, we can see Ali stumbling and standing up again. When he's caught in a hitch, he looks for help from others. This isn't something the old whiny Ali would've done. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he picks himself up and strives to be a better version of himself.

From his new maturity, he also manages to resist peer pressure and doesn't antagonize the international agents like his friends do. It's no surprise that he ends up connecting with Sam the most, a direct reflection of his past insecurities. Of course he'd relate to a kindred spirit and help the guy climb out of the hell he's been through himself all his life.

When Ali loses IRIS to Alicia in the end, it is the best outcome anyone could've hoped for. Not because Alicia deserves it which she does, but because it symbolizes the end of Ali's dependency on cool shiny gadgets to make himself look like a somebody. Because he is already a somebody.

Conclusion

Ali's character growth throughout the series is simply phenomenal.

You know the Ali in season 1 and season 3 are the same characters but if you put them side by side you'll see that they're anything but. They're too different.

Ali's journey as a character may have been riddled with hiccups, but it's those exact hiccups that make us appreciate the person he's become.

Is he perfect? No. He's still flawed as any 12 year old is. He'll learn in time and that's okay.

[silverynight]

Enemy

<---Previous

Chapter 9

Tanjirou starts pacing around the living room as Genya and Nezuko talk about something that doesn't make a lot of sense to him, perhaps because he's too worried about what's happening in Undercity and is not paying attention to them.

"Do you approve of my brother, Nezuko?"

The girl chuckles, looking at the tall boy with amusement.

"Of course I do. He has helped us a lot since we got here. Tanjirou told me everything."

"He's... very much in love, you know?" Genya says, looking a little bit flustered. "I know he might not look like it but I know him better than anyone..."

"What about you, Genya?"

"What do you m-mean?" He stammers, blushing to the tip of his ears.

"Are you sure you can't take me there again?" Tanjirou pleads, interrupting the conversation, he's not usually like this, but he's really worried about his friends...

"We don't want Genya to get in trouble," Nezuko tells her brother, putting both hands on his shoulders. "I'm worried too, but I also trust Inosuke and Zenitsu; I know they can take care of themselves. Let's just wait for the Pillars to come back and tell us what happened, alright?"

Tanjirou nods, feeling useless, but finally giving in. He takes a few steps closer to Genya and pulls him into his arms.

"I'm sorry... I know you've done a lot for me," Tanjirou mumbles, looking at him and noticing how red his face is now so he immediately takes a step back because he's probably squeezing Genya too hard... "You have helped me since I met you... I'm really grateful for that. I truly am, Genya."

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure," the tall boy mumbles, looking a little bit shy.

They wait. Tanjirou doesn't like it that much and his mind doesn't help him relax; it's constantly jumping from one terrible scenario to another, but at least he tries to distract himself. The three of them stick together the whole day.

All the hashira come back at night, but the first one they see is Shinazugawa because the three of them are still at his house.

He rushes inside, walking like a determined man on a mission until he finds Tanjirou sitting on the couch next to Genya and Nezuko.

"Shina–" he doesn't get to finish because the Pillar takes him in his arms and presses their foreheads together. Tanjirou is a little bit surprised.

"You weren't in your house, like we told you to," despite Shinazugawa usually harsh personality, his words sound more worried than irritated.

"I wanted to know what was going on... I still want to..."

Suddenly, there are more people inside, Nezuko looks amused and Genya concerned, especially after his older brother starts yelling at the other Pillars to get out of his house.

Of course, nobody listens to him and Tanjirou finds himself in different pairs of arms; Kanroji kisses him on the cheek when it's her turn, Himejima presses his forehead against Tanjirou's cheek...

"I'm glad you're not there anymore," Tomioka mumbles, running his fingers through Tanjirou's hair.

He's confused and flustered at the moment, wondering why they're so affectionate out of the sudden. Iguro even holds his hand at some point, as Uzui's wives walk inside and fuss over him.

"What happened?"

"We stopped the conflict before it escalated further, don't worry about it, my boy!" Rengoku says as he rubs their noses together.

He feels a little bit better, although since they don't know anything about his friends, they can't know if Zenitsu and Inosuke are alright at the moment.

Tanjirou wants to go back, however, this time he wants to do it right because he doesn't want to get in trouble or upset the only people that have been nice to him and his sister.

"I would like to go back to Undercity."

"No," Uzui says immediately, there's no hesitation in his voice. It surprises Tanjirou how determined he looks at the moment. Sadly, the other look like they think exactly like him. "Last time you were there you got hurt."

Instinctively, Tanjirou touches his neck and regrets it immediately after Kocho narrows her eyes at him with concern.

"We can bring you anything you want," Tokito offers, noticing Tanjirou's sad expression.

"I need to see two people who are very dear to me," he mumbles, deciding he can trust them with that information.

Although he gets really confused when he realizes that all the hashira seem upset and are currently frowning at him.

"What do you mean dear to you?" Shinazugawa asks, clearly angry about something.

"You told us you didn't have a significant other out there!" Kanroji says, looking like a kicked puppy.

Tanjirou feels even more confused now.

Genya shakes his head, although he looks a little bit amused while Nezuko, on the other hand, rolls her eyes and steps forward, right next to her brother.

"They're our friends. He's talking about our friends."

As if Nezuko just uttered a couple of magic words, the frowns disappear from their faces. They look almost relieved.

"We promise we'll discuss it, Tanjirou," Iguro says, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We don't want to risk you."

Tanjirou tries to say something else, but Kocho shakes her head.

"If we agree to this, two of us will go with you. It's the only way."

Tanjirou knows he's not going to persuade them to let him go alone, so he just nods, hoping their presence doesn't scare his friends off. Like most of the people who live in Undercity, they don't trust topsiders.

"Okay."

***

Tanjirou doesn't like to wait. It's been just two days; Genya mentioned they actually had to wait a little bit because none of the people in Undercity would like to see them again so soon in their territory, especially after what happened.

"I understand that they don't want to see the hashira, but perhaps if I go–"

"You heard them, Tanjirou," Genya cuts him off. "They won't let you go alone."

"I'm not planning to disobey them this time," Tanjirou assures his friend, putting a hand on his cheek to calm him down; it works really well. "But why are they so worried about me?"

"You should know, Tanjirou... It's not like they're trying to hide it. My brother–"

As they walk down the hallway, an enforcer runs into them and stops as soon as he notices Genya.

"We need you out there," the man says. "Two people from Undercity broke in... They got into a couple of houses, it looks like they've been looking for information on the hashira's guests."

"Nemi is going to get mad," Genya mumbles, mostly to himself, before he turns around to look at Tanjirou. "It's okay, Tanjirou. You and your sister will be fine, I promise."

He follows the man before Tanjirou can say something; he really has a bad feeling about it.

Why are they asking about them? He doesn't care that much about himself, but he doesn't want anyone to hurt Nezuko.

Fortunately, Genya comes back really soon and informs him that the two boys have been apprehended, although they seem to know a lot about Nezuko.

With his heart beating crazily inside his chest, Tanjirou turns around and looks up to stare into Genya's eyes.

"How do they look?"

"I don't think I should be giving you that information, Tanjirou."

"Please..."

"Why do you always use that face against me?" Genya sighs, cheeks turning slightly pink. "One of them is a blond and the other wears a face mask with fangs painted on it, it almost looks like a boar–"

"Take me with them!"

"I can't. They're currently being questioned by my brother and the other Pillars. Besides, they could be dangerous–"

"They're not! They're my friends!"

Genya looks at him almost like he knows something not really good is going to happen, but he nods, giving in.

"What are you doing here? We're in the middle–" at first Shinazugawa doesn't notice Tanjirou, only his younger brother, but when he does, it's too late because the redhead is already running towards the middle of the room and jumping into the two pair of arms spread at him.

"Inosuke, Zenitsu!" Tanjirou says, voice breaking. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

"We were so worried about you and Nezuko!" Zenitsu sobs as Inosuke nuzzles against Tanjirou's cheek affectionately.

"Tanjirou, darling..." Kocho mumbles with a very sweet voice. "We're in the middle of something. They must be judged."

"Don't be too harsh on them, please!" Tanjirou pleads. "They probably just came here to look for Nezuko and me... They have good intentions!"

"Let us finish the interrogation, Tanjirou," Tomioka insists, prompting the redhead to nod, however, Tanjirou doesn't move away from them.

Shinazugawa doesn't seem to like that. Well, none of them look particularly happy about it.

When it's more than clear that the two boys were just looking for his friends, all the hashira agree not to do anything against them.

"You are free to go back to the other side," Iguro mumbles, waving a hand in a dismissive way at them.

"No, no," Tanjirou says, pulling his friends closer to him. "Stay with me. Please, stay here. You can move in with me!"

"That'd be nice," Inosuke admits, prompting Tanjirou to embrace him again.

"They're not topsiders, sweetie," Kanroji comments then. "We have to approve their entrance first."

"I'm not from Topside either," Tanjirou points out, refusing to let go of his friends.

"You're an exception, Tanjirou," Himejima says with a fond smile on his lips. "You must know this..."

"Please..." Tanjirou insists, prompting Zenitsu to look from him to the Pillars with an irritated curiosity.

"Fine," Uzui sighs, looking back at Tanjirou before grinning at him. "Just because you asked."

"Thank you!"

"You know we'd do anything for you, my boy!" Rengoku assures him, looking like he wants to jump over the table to get closer to him like he did before.

"Although we're not sure we want them to stay with you," Tokito mumbles, eyeing Tanjirou's friends with irritation.

"We can provide other accommodations for them," Kocho offers, although that's not what Tanjirou wants at all. He's missed his friends so much.

"But the house I'm living with Nezuko is really big!" He insists. "The four of us can stay there!"

Suddenly, Rengoku frowns at the way Tanjirou keeps pulling the other two boys closer to him.

That's when Zenitsu rolls his eyes and takes a few steps back, dragging Inosuke with him.

"None of us are into him," Zenitsu says quickly, looking at the Pillars, confusing Tanjirou a little bit. "We're his friends. Besides, I'm in love with Nezuko."

"Fine! You can stay with him!" Shinazugawa grumbles reluctantly.

Tanjirou is too happy to question anything about what happened. He tries to hug them again but Zenitsu shakes his head.

"Stop trying to get us killed!" He whispers furiously.

"What do you mean?"

***

After they're back at the house and Nezuko hugs a very happy Inosuke and an incredibly flustered Zenitsu, the four of them start talking about what happened since they got into Topside.

"I didn't know the members of the council were so jealous and possessive," the blond comments, prompting Nezuko to chuckle. "I can't believe Tanjirou has them wrapped around his pinky."

"I don't!" The redhead protests, blushing to the tip of his ears.

"It's been like this since we got here," Nezuko adds, ignoring his very confused brother.

"It doesn't surprise me."

Tanjirou wants to ask what he's talking about, but Inosuke interrupts by announcing very loudly that he's starving so Tanjirou decides to ask Zenitsu later and takes them all to the dining room.

***

Next--->

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