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cutehoons02 · 1 month ago

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Still hate me? Always

*pairing: Sunghoon F1 Red Bull Driver x Social Media Manager

*trope: Enemies to lovers

Speed or Love series

*tags: small problems of anger (sunghoon is fighting to win his first world championship F1), jealousy, attraction, humor, mocking, smut, some words will be written in Italian with obviously the translation in English, mention of an accident not for Sunghoon but for another driver, the story is set in the second part of the F1 season, i tried to write in a simple way some terms of F1 even for those who were not a fan of F1

* synopsis: Sunghoon doesn’t want any distractions especially in the season when he is fighting to win his first world championship with Red Bull but must deal with the hatred and attraction that he feels for the team’s social media manager

If you like i would write a second part with the final season and the continuing story between Sunghoon and Y/n

* word count: 6k (Tell me if you like this kind of stories:)

—REBLOG if you enjoyed

(English is not my native language)

Park Sunghoon was not called "Ice Prince" by chance but because he was the most cynical, the most calculating, out of 20 pilots more than half were afraid to have a duel with him and when they found it behind the most made him overtake too easily according to many former pilots, had very few "friends" both inside and outside the paddock and hated all those superficial people who were part of that world from the countless influencers both male and female who were invited to do "advertising", he only thought to can win and demolish records on record, he didn’t care what people thought about him because few had the privilege of knowing him for what he was; only his other fellow track riders Jake, Jay, Heeseung and also the three youngest ones from the Sunoo circuit, Jungwon and Niki were his "friends" but with the first three he had spent countless hours of training and fights between karts since a young age and all four were landed in the world of F1. Everyone wanted to try to get to know Sunghoon, especially the girls, they had never been scandals, and his friends especially Jake how much fun because he knew that Hoon had a private life besides the competitions but they had never gone out of him with other women and this thing made the countless girls even more curious they tried to throw themselves at his feet because each of them wanted to melt Sunghoon’s heart but until now none had succeeded.

The only dramas or scandals that Hoon wanted to hear were those of him on the track beating people with more than 5 world titles with his car and maybe a little too much arrogance. However, it was also necessary if already at the middle of the season he had won almost half of the races and had many duels and also a few accidents, fortunately, they had never been serious but the team until the end of the summer holidays had made the jumps to get them back a perfect car and with expenses of the dizzying potter to fight for the world championship. The summer holidays were over and all teams found themselves in the circuit of Monza the "Temple of Speed" at the beginning of September, Sunghoon was in the company of his engineer reading various telemetries of the track that he now knew by heart but was scrupulous in reading the data that no one could disturb him, heard knocking at the door and thought it was his Team Principal. However, when he smelled the scent of cherries and vanilla he rolled his eyes and puffed, he didn’t even look at the door because only one person had that scent and was the team’s Social Media Manager as well as his worst nightmare when he wasn’t on track on race weekends.

"Buongiorno, i don't want to disturb but we are already late for the recording of content for Teen Vogue F1 and this week will follow the famous and the nicest pilot of the grid, as well as "Ice Prince" so i need her loving presence down in the fan zone in maximum 2 minutes" Hoon’s engineer laughed and watched Sunghoon give a snarky look to Y/n. "How many times did i tell you not to enter my Y/n box?, i don’t need a babysitter i already have the PR that checks me and tells those of Teen Vogue F1 that i’m no longer a "teen" and that i have more important things to do than record stupid videos, i have a world championship to win and you disappear from my view" You rolled your eyes slightly and counted to 10 to calm down, you worked for Red Bull for a year and a half and for your misfortune you joined working as Social Media Manager when Sunghoon arrived from AlphaTauri to Red Bull. "First of all this box is not yours, second get your ass up because if you don’t come i tell half the world that you’re a dick not only with the drivers but also with the people who are next to you and who do somersaults to see you happy in this team so don’t make me lose patience because not only i will receive words from your staff but also you and fire that PR who does not even know to be on this world, know more than i of your engagements that that individual" Sunghoon stood up unwillingly and began to stretch out and saw the various well-defined mountnoles of his muscles come out from the slightly too narrow pole of the team like every boy in his 20s had the classic Calvin Klein underwear and looked at you with a grin. "Don’t you know all my schedules because you like me and want to have control over me? It’s no secret that i'm attractive Y/n, and i would not change my PR for anything in the world, especially with someone like you who talks all the time; i need people who talk just enough to let me know or make me understand things."

You slammed the door shut and started walking towards the fan zone, you knew that Hoon was following you like a dog because he hated with all his heart to waste time filming videos or stupid challenges but he knew that in addition to the life of the pilot had to interact as much as possible with fans otherwise the whole brand and image he created could be put to the test with all those contents that did other drivers especially those more extrovert than him. Lots of fans from children to elderly people applauded him and to his annoyance, many guys also looked at Y/ n and some whistled and made compliments, Y/ n was used to receiving "compliments" but also comments of hatred for the fault that she was so in touch with Hoon but every time he cared because there was absolutely nothing between her and that human being with a heart of ice.

"Welcome to Monza at the temple of speed in the first place we find Heeseung with Ferrari, second place in the fight for the world title Park Sunghoon, third place Jay, and always in the second row with his Mclaren Jake. An incredible race is expected in that of Monza, the air temperature is almost 30 degrees and that of the track more than 55 degrees, all will make more than two stops and in less than two minutes will start the training lap and at 15 Italian exact will start the 72nd GP in the circuit of Monza" The F1 commentator spoke aloud and all the engineers were in the various walls, all the mechanics were waiting madly for the race start and all the other members of the team were standing 'a thousand screens that framed both the various machines, the car of Sunghoon, The one he saw in front of him on the track and Hoon’s face with his helmet still half open to let air in. Sunghoon started the training lap and Heeseung pushed too fast for his taste so he found himself waiting forever for the other cars when you will turn off the traffic lights as much as to pass Heeseung but had to be calm because it was called the temple of speed that circuit for a reason and under its seat had the most powerful car of the season, so for the first 5 laps he studied the various trajectories of Heeseung and at 6 laps in the straight he started to put them on the pressure but it seemed that every time he tried to approach with the DRS he could not get close to the right one to overtake him and so his tires began to To get too hot. "Sunghoon you are doing great but try to breathe the tires for a couple of laps and then try to overcome it, do not make any shit that even if you come second or third you have a margin of success to win the world championship".

"Copy", he didn’t want to be a jerk so he didn’t mind his engineer because he knew what he had to do so he cooled the tires for a couple of laps, He was looking forward to overcoming but also to duel with him because he did not want to admit it but it was almost at his level and he would enjoy dueling with him because he was always clean and accurate in every move, he had never lost the DRS from Heeseung and on the end of the straight he started to pass it but after a few seconds he did not see Heeseung’s car in the Alboreto curve and immediately saw "Red Flag" in the display and his blood froze. " Marco, how is he? Well? I swear that i did not even touch his car i didn’t throw him out, i swear i think he lost track. Jay was behind me and surely saw the accident better" Sunghoon had slightly trembling hands and heard his engineer call him.

"Box Box, you do not have any information yet but from the pictures, we see that you accompany him slightly out and after he loses control but it’s not your fault Hoon, he has lost control you haven’t touched it at all"

"Marco doesn’t give a shit, is he okay or not? Has he at least managed to move or come out of the car?

“Park the car in the pit line at first place Sunghoon, from the pictures it seems that he does not move and does not respond to the radio" Sunghoon punched his fists in the steering wheel and brought his car into the pitlane, he immediately got out of his car and ran into the wall Ferrari and Hee’s engineer looked at him angrily and signaled to him to leave, felt his hands become slightly cold and legs seemed not to hold them anymore, felt a warm hand intertwine his hand and eyes looked at him with concern and without even realizing it Y/ n took him inside his box and gave him a glass of water.

"God among all the people who had to see me in this state you are Y/n, happy to see me so distressed and with emotions, what is the PR that is in you has been quick to come to my rescue even though i did not need it!" You knew that Hoon was not thinking normally after seeing one of his closest friends crash and many thought it was his fault.

"Stop being a jerk even in these conditions Hoon, you’re not yourself at the moment and meanwhile the race will not start before half an hour is better that you are here and not out there to hear about you or the various sirens of the ambulance. Tell me whom you want to call i know you can’t stand my presence" You came to the door but a strong hand squeezed your wrist and Sunghoon looked at you with tears in his eyes "Don’t go and call anyone, Stay here and try those social media to figure out what happened to Heeseung and if he’s okay".

You were still in your phone and there was no news yet and this made you more and more worried about the conditions for Hee, but you felt the door open and Marco came in with a smile "Heeseung has answered the radio and at this moment they are taking him out with the car with the necessary precautions, from what we have heard he has some broken ribs will have to stay in hospital and surely will skip the three European races, in 25 minutes the race starts again i leave you alone but soon you come back down" Marco immediately left the small room and left Hoon kneeling on the ground with his hands on his head and with Y/ n that caressed gently his back, Hoon had not lost any important one in his life and at that moment he felt so powerless and hated the feeling of calm that gave him Y/n with only slight caresses.

"Right now there is no Ice Prince but only Hoon, i need a hug, could you give it or you’ll shrug me if i’m half sweaty?" a little laugh came out of your lips and you helped him to stand up and the 10 centimeters more he had were seen to dismeasure, felt Hoon’s big arms in your hips and the long fringe of black tufts tickled your neck, You hated how safe you felt with him because you had always hated him but at this time as he said it was only Hoon.

Sunghoon had won the race in Monza and dedicated it to Hesseung, he had visited three times before he left for the Dutch GP, he did not like that track at all but to win a world championship had to maximize as many points as possible because in Spa would change the engine of his car and would start not before the eleventh position. After the incident with Hesseung all especially the younger guys on the grid were shocked by that event and asked all teams to be more careful with gold, especially during interviews or various content they had to post because Hesseung one of his closest friends could seriously lose his life if there were not all the precautions in the car and the emergency response of the rescuers. Sunghoon looked from the roof of his box at the beach in the distance and saw below him Y/n laughing and joking with Jake’s Pr, Hoon knew that Jake had a soft spot for the Spanish girl and made her crazy by canvassing them with various celebrities or escapades during the race weekends, he was the opposite of the Australian boy and thought that if he didn’t have a head he could never fight for a world championship. The laughter of Y/n made him feel very strong and a sense of calm invaded him, this thing for him was not at all well, since he hugged her in Monza, he kept watching her to check what she was doing and was extremely annoyed when she paid attention to Sunoo his teammate or when she smiled or talked with other drivers; He chased away these feelings and went down to put on his suit, balaclava and helmet before going into the car and listening to his engineer for potter do pole position. He was extremely pissed because he had been out of pole for two races and he was extremely annoyed because his lap was extremely perfect for him instead Jay with the face of a movie star looked at him with a grin as he took his little wheel, did his post-qualifying interview and a fake smile took hold of his face while they were taking the picture for F1, he didn’t want to see and hear anyone so spend hours looking at his data, those of Sunoo and also those of Jay because he was the one who had to beat, So without realizing it slept in his box and the morning after a scent of waffles and caramel invaded the mini room that he had in his camper.

He opened his eyes and saw Y/n with waffles and coffee in his hand "Hi, i know that when you are not pole you always sleep in your camper so i thought to bring food, i’m not coming to make videos or content just woke up also because you’re not a nice show" a little moan came out of the mouth of Hoon "We all know that it’s not true Y/n, i’m one of the most beautiful drivers indeed if it were not for the fact that Jay is American and he has all those sponsors inherent to his image would be me in the first place and not second place. Who permitted you to come in here? you know that it is strictly forbidden to sneak into the motorhomes of the drivers if someone discovers us they might think we have an affair and i have no need for drama among crazy fans especially with you who are not at all my type" Hoon needed no sponsors inherent to his image because he already had a face card absurd but you would never say "Your PR told me to come to see how you were doing because he’s afraid that you might throw a helmet on their head after forcing you to go to that mini dinner with the Boss of beta yesterday, quiet nobody saw me and you’re not even my type, they’re right to put Jay first is much nicer than you and also much sexier and..." you didn’t finish the sentence that strong arms put over Hoon’s muscular legs and big hands went under your sweatshirt and Hoon’s cold hands made you feel shivers as he stroked the lower part of your back, a grin formed on his face "Did someone cut your tongue Y/n? Why don’t you go on with what you were saying" watch Hoon eat a small piece of waffle and caramel stopped right under his lower lip and immediately look away, in what mess you found yourself? You had come here only to see how he was because he had become even colder from Hee’s accident with everyone and now you were over his legs with his length pressed between your legs and he with his hair unkempt looking at you with slightly fleshy lips. So? You think Jay is nicer, sexier than me and other Y/n?".

"I think it’s even kinder" You felt his lips give you small kisses on the neck and after a few seconds without noticing came out a little groan when you felt his canines pinching slightly your lobe and sucking slightly that part of your neck, You put your arms behind his head and began to caress the thick black hair he had and every second that passed you felt its length becoming thicker and thicker below you; when he finished torturing your neck you had the short breath and you looked at his face dotted with small moles that seemed to be put to make him pronounce more nose or sharp jaw.

"Surely he will be nicer than me but not the one who makes you moan at 8 am Y/n, maybe it’s better that you go because soon my staff will arrive" you saw the cold Sunghoon come back and you walked away from him with your cheeks slightly flushed and carried the zipper of the sweatshirt as high as possible "Well i think i moaned your name but i’m the one who made you get that hardness at 8 a.m. and do not tell me that it is something that happens to all men before waking up because when i entered there was not so big Park Sunghoon, buona giornata!"

What was your mess? You had never touched Sunghoon in your life and in not even two weeks you had made him relax and even felt his meaty lips on your neck, you would run in the motorhome of Red Bull and prepare to go to Sunoo to make videos with the other young driver Niki.

The race had started for 30 laps and Sunghoon was complaining from the beginning of the race of problems with the engine, no one had heard him in Monza wanted to take penalties and change engines on that track, and m aybe without him behind the Ferrari, Hesseung would not have had that accident.

"Sunghoon we have to withdraw the car, the power of the engine is insufficient and there is also a small mechanical problem" Hoon gave light punches at the wheel and seriously wanted to forget everything that had happened to Monza, he did not care to win, He didn’t care about all the emotions that he had felt in those 10 days, he just wanted to get back the decent car he had before the summer break. " What the fuck i told you, we had to change everything in Monza but it seems that it’s only me who thinks of my world drivers and not you engineers and my fucking team" Hoon’s PR would have wanted to kill him, and the social media department too because he had said it via radio and everyone could hear it. "Hoon calm down, we are all thinking of your world fight now back to the boxes", "Copy", when Hoon skies from the car not even taking off his helmet and don't look anyone in the face and heads for the roof of the box Red Bull and called Heeseung to hear how he was.

From the roof of the box he saw Sunoo finish third, was very happy for him because he was in his first year in Red Bull and surely had better in many respects but he had a lot of speed and was also very good in defense, Sunoo loved to learn from Sunghoon and this made him feel proud of himself, he went under the podium and stood next to the engineer of Sunoo and felt his arms hold him in a brotherly embrace "to be in his first year is bringing home many points both for him but also for the world constructors, we certainly will not win it but we will win that driver with you this year Hoonie" a small smile formed in Hoon’s lips for the nickname he had given him and began to clap his hands when he saw Sunoo climb up the third place step, a few centimeters in front of him there was Y/n who was filming everything with his phone and had such a pure and sincere smile towards Sunoo that he was extremely annoyed because when he won he did not smile like this or give him so much attention? Champagne splashes made a lot of people run away from under the podium but Y/n and Sunghoon were enchanted to see Sunoo so happy and carefree while he was spraying champagne in turn to Jay and Jake.

"Missed seeing so happy Sunoo for a long time, he deserves a lot this podium and all the interactions that he will have with fans thanks to your videos" you sunflower to see behind you Hoon looks with a little smile Sunoo on the podium "I’m having a mirage or seriously for the first time in his life Park Sunghoon ran to see his rival but also teammate celebrate a podium even though they pulled your car" Sunoo was painting the scene at how unnoticed under the podium, Sunghoon was smiling at him and nodding a little, which he did in turn. " I know i’m an asshole but the whole team, especially Sunoo deserved to see me celebrate for him because he did a good race"

"You know that this will only help you a little bit to calm down after the radio team you made against your team live in the world?" Hoon saw you start to move away from him to go to Sunoo so he followed you "Well i’ll take my responsibilities but meanwhile, i have an excellent team around me of PR and also the department of Social Media/Content Creator is not so bad, so you will help me to come out of it."

"You know the world out there is not like this one Sunghoon, before you talk and be such a jerk to people who have given up everything for you since you were barely able to wipe your ass, think about it a little before you start talking shit on a world level because if you’re going to be in the middle of it, but we are the ones who have to clean up your face and ok you have this aura that brings you forward to being "the Ice Prince" but you should just be more human with people and have a little bit more respect for those around you because i know that under that ice prince facade, there is a guy who would give the world to see his dearest friends as you did today with Sunoo happy and who knows maybe even to love someone else than yourself."

The race in Belgium had gone pretty well, he started thirteenth and had maximized as many points as possible by finishing third but some drivers including Jay and Jake were getting closer to him in the standings and this thing was not good for him, it had been more than two weeks since they had raced in Belgium and now they were in Asia in their continent in Singapore, loved Singapore, loved that circuit, also loved sweating so much to win that race and make a perfect qualification in the city circuit, loved to race in his Asian continent and also loved the warmth that fans had for him, the Asians were crazy when they found out that not only one but 4 drivers came from Korea and one from Japan, already in the airport you could not walk by the huge amount of fans and so he found himself with his great surprise to be happy to make content with some fans, some fans had won the paddock pass and also the meeting of a driver of their choice and Hoon had accepted to be less cold and maybe a little more loving.

"What happened to your favorite pilot Y/n? I see it to the more relaxed and less cold a little bit with everyone from Belgium on" watch Sunoo open your mouth to look at the various interactions that were doing Sunghoon with fans and you were also particularly surprised. " Maybe in these two weeks' break you have relaxed and will surely have taken words from your team principal so you will be adapted to the new rules imposed by the team, and will always remain Ice Prince of the situation," Sunoo said "Maybe in these two weeks he met some influencer or billionaire in Montecarlo and he relaxed in his bedroom or the pool at sea or as you say he took words from the team" Which influencer he met in Monte Carlo? You knew he had a lot of girls who were after him but they never came out defying them at the same time you thought that he was not a saint and that he had a life outside the slopes and surely would have I don’t know how many chicks coming out of his apartment, a slight color flooded your cheeks and a sense of anger mixed with jealousy filled you all. " Uh, our Ice Prince got engaged to someone? How is this Influencer? Don’t tell me either Sunoo will be a viper like him who just thinks about himself and money" Sunoo looked at you slightly intrigued by his statement but there was no Influencer or girl in the life of Sunghoon "How come you’re so curious? Don’t tell me you’re slightly jealous of what he does outside of F1 and that you would like to be the one who wakes up with the view of the Côte d'Azur as soon as you open your eyes or that Sunghoon takes you into his pool to do dirty things!" You were slightly shocked by Sunoo’s statements, he was the cutest and most loving of the group. "Oh my god, even in my worst nightmares i would not be Sunghoon’s girlfriend, i’d get sick of thinking of his lips on mine i don’t dare to imagine doing other things together" God but what did you get yourself into? You had seriously thought about the little bite he gave you and his big hands behind your back for those weeks after the Dutch Grand Prix, Sunoo put a hand on his mouth when he saw behind you Sunghoon with a grin and felt a small breath in your ear and rolled your eyes because you knew there was Sunghoon behind you.

"Sappiamo tutti e due che ti era piaciuto stare sopra le mie gambe e sentire le mie labbra sul tuo collo, non essere bugiarda, sei italiane dovresti sapere la storia di Pinocchio, no? Più bugie dici più il naso si allunga e mi dispaicerebbe vedere quel piccolo nasino allungarsi solamente perchè non vuoi ammettere che sei attratta da me!"

("We both know you liked to stand on my legs and feel my lips on your neck, don’t be a liar, you’re Italian you should know the story of Pinocchio, right? The more lies you say, the longer your nose gets and i’d be upset to see that little nose grow only because you don’t want to admit that you’re attracted to me!")

You watched the two Red Bull drivers, Sunoo didn’t understand anything that Sunghoon told you in Italian and Hoon was slightly amused by the situation. "Let’s go Sunoo it’s up to you to go to the fans and make social content with them" you took Sunoo by the hand and you walked away from Sunghoon, god how much you hated him.

The air in Singapore was unbreathable because of the too hot and damp that made you sweat and stick any clothes on, The drivers before this race also trained in saunas at high temperatures to get used to the heat they had to feel during the weekend, inside the box there was air conditioning but it was still hot, Every girl in the team wore a skirt and a light polo shirt of course with the Red Bull brand and various sponsors but also with extremely summer things they sweated inside the boxes.

Qualifying started well 12 minutes ago and Sunghoon had passed Q1 in first place (each qualification is divided into three small programs: Q1 eliminates the top 5 drivers from 20th position until 15th, Q2 eliminates another 5 drivers and Q3 each of the 10 remaining drivers on track must make the fastest lap to win the Pole position and the first five rows of start).

"Sunghoon we left you the already used tires, do you think you can make a good time with these or do you want the new tires? From the data we see also with these you could be saved only with a perfect lap and no mistakes so tomorrow you would have a couple of new tires, if you make a lap like the one you did in Q1 it will not need you to restart"

Sunghoon already had his hair slightly sweaty and stuck to his forehead because of the humidity that was outside, especially for the high temperatures in the cabin "I think i can make a perfect lap, while i rescind me don’t talk to me please that i would save a set of tires for tomorrow night’s race"

"Copy".

Sunghoon had already to make time from Pole so as not to have to relaunch, the track would certainly have improved but if he had the most powerful car with the fastest driver then all the adrenaline that he had in his body come out, and ended with a mega time, He returned to the pits and gave him some iced vitamins to cool off and some ice steam flooded the cabin for those few minutes that he had to stay in the boxes before pottering and doing Pole.

The Pole for Sunghoon was extremely easy, in second place there was Jay and in third place Jungwon, he was looking forward to taking off his suit and throwing himself in the pool full of cold water and ice that each driver took with him in the hottest and suffocating Gp like the one in Singapore or Qatar. "Nice ride, Hoon, you want to come to the private pool i have in my camper with Jungwon and Jake?" Hoon wanted to be with his friends but if he went with them not before midnight would be back in the room so he refused and went with his trainer to the small pool to relax.

"Fuck every year is worse, with this temperature, I will seriously freeze my dick and balls, why did you lower the temperature? I’m 22 years old not 40, my physique is still able to not feel these temperatures!" The athletic trainer laughed and splashed Sunghoon’s face with cold water "Stop complaining, you know i do it for your good if it is slightly colder than last year nothing happens and it will increase the tension you have for tomorrow night’s race"

"To relieve the tension i would choose other things sincerely, not the frozen water unless i do not know how many degrees" Sunghoon was bored completely for a few seconds and moaned for the too cold temperature that had come in contact with his face.

"I let you relax for a while meanwhile soon, your PR or some content creator to make a half-naked tik tok to make views to the channel", Sunghoon rolled his eyes and got bored a couple more times until he leaned on the small impenetrable pillow and closed his eyes while he heard the music of the festival for fans from the other side of the circuit.

He had relaxed for twenty minutes and by now the body from the collarbones down had accustomed to the icy temperature of the pool until he heard small ice-cold splashes come into his face he raised his thick eyebrows before opening his eyes and lightning with a look at the person who had disturbed him.

"Snow prince i need 5 minutes after you can return to your natural habitat, we have to make a tik tok for your profile and also for your YouTube channel" Hoon rolled his eyes at the sight of Y/n with a phone in hand and in the other a camera of last generation, She was seriously beautiful even with a half-combed tail because of the too hot it was outside, had a skirt that for his standards was too short and the polo shirt wrapped his body and highlighted his breasts.

When did she find it beautiful? was a classic girl with nothing special but felt her body tremble when the girl in front of him did not pay attention or did not even throw him an appreciation look with his muscles in highlight instead he was writing something to the phone.

"Why don’t you go to Sunoo and make him do some content or i’m the most beautiful driver of the team all the whole grid and so to make views you need my face card and my half-naked body in the pool?" Y/n looked up and looked at Hoon with his locks of hair attached to his forehead and the image of his chest reflected in the water thanks to the soft lights behind the camper.

"Before coming to you i did the same content with Sunoo, don’t think that you are the center of attention because even Sunoo is full of fans and maybe they are even truer than yours who follow you only for your beauty and not for your talent"

"Hell, i thought i was the asshole of the situation not the other way around, Y/n"

"I’m just saying what i see Sunghoon, however first we do a tik tok, you go into the water and when I dip your hand in the tub you get out of it and make some funny expression for the video, i will not dive so much the camera will only take a small piece of your body and after your face" Hoon watched you while you set the music and professional light to make the tik tok, it had done well at first sight and while you were showing it to him Hoon took your wrist to approach the phone and felt how cold the water was, it was too cold for the temperature and humidity that was outside and a shiver permeated your whole body.

"If you are hot, immerse your hands for a few seconds and put them in your face Y/n, meanwhile the makeup that you had disappeared for hours because of the humidity."

"I can’t get my hands wet if I have to use the camera for more than a thousand dollars, I will endure the heat a little longer and then I’ll go to the hotel to take a good shower." You started to walk away from Hoon but he still squeezed your wrist slightly and made you sit in the small side not yet wet of his little tub panel "let me refresh your face and hair with my hands" felt his hands too cold for your taste lightly caress your face and moved small locks of hair behind your ear, You looked at his face a few millimeters from his and admired the small moles that had in his face and swallows because of the heat you were feeling.

"I think you’re hot now not because of the temperature but because of me Y/n, I see your slightly red cheeks and the shivers you’re feeling, and don’t tell me it’s because of the cold water because it’s a fuck" You hated how he made you feel, You hated everything about him from his lost physique, to the smile he gave to very few people and you also hated your body at that moment "Stop Sunghoon"

"Stop doing that Y/n thing, if you kissed me now tomorrow would you still hate me?"

"Always"

A little smile formed in Sunghoon’s lips and you felt Hoon’s lips delicatament give you a small kiss and then open his lips to kiss you more fiercely until you felt his tongue in your mouth and a little moaning came out simultaneously from your lips, You placed your hands on his shoulders and bowed slightly more to have more access in his lips, After a few seconds you detached your lips from his and began to kiss the corners of his mouth until you felt it rise slightly from the Sunghoon tub and was perfectly aligned in front of you, This time you stooped down and started leaving him some light kisses under his sharp jaw to the collarbones, he tasted good and that thing made you go crazy, how could he know well if before entering the pool was all sweaty but you did not think so much until you felt a big hand holding your lower back and the other caressing your legs, at that moment you maldisti the high temperatures of Singapore because Hoon only realized by caressing your legs uncovered by the skirt that you were crazy to feel his touch.

"Fuck y/n i hate you so much"

"Same goes for you, Park Sunghoon."

omg i hope you like it, the comments are appreciated because it’s the first time I write such a long story

taglist: @arclviie @steddie-steddie @jungwoosbaey @jaylajakey @bamguetismee @misssparklyprincess s @stormy1408 @jakeswifez @d4-b1 @steadytacowitch @jakeswifez @stormy1408 @strxwbloody @drinkwateryouperson @haerinheartss @firstclassjaylee

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mcflymemes · 5 months ago

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TREASURE PLANET (2002) PROMPTS * assorted dialogue from the disney film, adjust as necessary

you're gonna rattle the stars.

now you listen to me, [name]. you got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course.

look at you, glowing like a solar fire.

you're something special, [name].

let me make this as... monosyllabic as possible.

how did i describe them?

i said something rather good this morning before coffee.

there you go. poetry.

i'm an astronomer, not a doctor!

i am a doctor, but i'm not that kind of doctor. i have a doctorate. it's not the same thing. you can't help people with a doctorate.

you just sit there and you're useless.

i won't bore you with my scars.

oh shut up. you know i don't mean a word of it.

i'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes.

you have wonderful eyes.

yes, you. i have a question.

is it that your body is too massive for your teeny-tiny head, or is it that your head is too teeny-tiny for your big fat body?

i have one more question.

is this yours?

well, this has been a fun day.

without the map, we're dead.

if we try to leave, we're dead.

what a joke.

at least you taught me something.

that's just what i'm gonna do.

you still don't know how to pick your fights.

are you saying this because it's the right thing, or because you really want to go?

playing games, are we?

thanks for the lift, guys.

don't mention it.

this is the answer to all our problems!

don't you remember? all those stories?

would you please explain how ridiculous this is?

it's totally preposterous! traversing the galaxy alone!

now at last we hear some sense.

you flatter me, [name].

i feel like such a useless weakling.

stay out of trouble!

that was more fun than i ever want to have again.

so... uh. how'd that happen anyway?

i've got two new friends i'd like you to meet.

are your parents around?

i've got some plans to make people see me a little different.

sometimes plans go astray.

you take care now.

this should be a wonderful opportunity for the two of us to get to know one another.

with the greatest possible respect, zip your howling screamer.

we're about to get under way!

i'll follow you.

you know the rules.

maybe your ears don't work so well.

i just don't want to see you throw away your entire future.

i don't know how you manage it.

did you actually aim for that?

what is all this stuff?

wait wait wait! what about the treasure?

i don't want to lose you.

i'll make you proud.

i'm sorry, my memory isn't what it used to be.

i say we kill them all now.

all my life, i've been waiting for an opportunity like this.

#rp meme #mcflymemes #rp memes #rp prompt #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters

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moorishflower · 6 months ago

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Hey just so you know if you start reblogging shit about how Trump is now definitely gonna win the election and all hope is lost and so why bother trying anything, I'm unfollowing you. I might like you personally, but if your response to that shooting is to just give up and assume the election is a foregone conclusion, you maybe need to do some self-examination about why you feel it necessary to spread further despair instead of using that energy as a galvanizing force for hope or, at the very least (if you feel you have no energy left to fight) not spreading posts that will further demoralize the people who are still fighting.

It is in the best interest of Donald Trump that people who dislike him lose hope and don't turn out to vote because "it doesn't matter," because "Biden is a warmonger," because "nothing ever changes," when we have copious amounts of evidence that things have changed, and Biden has been very quietly and patiently unraveling the tangle of shit that Trump left behind in his first (and G-d willing only) term. The United States are not in a position where huge and radical change is possible at the moment. The country is too large, the states too fragmented, the system of government too spread-out. There is no one entity that can be "overthrown" in order to effect immediate change.

So maybe instead of demanding radical and immediate change that isn't possible, and then whining and moaning when you never get it, maybe do what you can to not spread fear and despair through those who are trying to fight for small, incremental changes.

Me, I'm gonna vote. And I'm gonna bother everyone I know who's 18-26 or so to vote Blue down the ticket, because young voter turnout has historically always been good for the Democratic party.

So yeah. Maybe do some soul-searching. Maybe instead of looking at news you should go for a walk. But also, maybe, stop spreading posts about how the election is in the bag for Trump, because it isn't. There's four months left. There is still time.

Go out and vote. Even if it feels hopeless to you. The least complex of animals will keep fighting even if death seems certain to them, and so should we.

#politics #us politics #american politics

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tlbodine · 2 months ago

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So, Things Are Terrible and You Want to DO SOMETHING

The election is over and, ah...did not go well. While a lot of folks are doing a post mortem of the campaigns and trying to understand what happened with the vote and fighting over who shoulders the blame, we've gotta turn an eye toward the future and figure out, okay fam, where the fuck do we go from here.

I don't have all the answers on this, and I'm not an authority by any means, I'm just a horror author with a blog. But I've been thinking a lot about it and I wanted to share my thought process with others who might want to DO SOMETHING but feel they're spinning their wheels.

Buckle in. This will be a long one.

Step One: Understand the actual risks and stakes.

I think it is very easy to start panicking now about the worst possible case scenario -- jackbooted military busting into the door to disappear everyone who ever said something mean about Trump or bought a banned book or something -- and let fear turn into inaction.

I'm not saying things can't get that bad, and I'm not saying that it won't be absolutely terrifying right out the gate for some particularly at-risk groups -- but the distance between "now" and "V for Vendetta" is long and filled with a lot of intermediary steps. There will be so many opportunities to prevent the worst case scenario.

I say this because, if your mental image of "Bad Things Happening" is The Purge, it will be easy to wake up on inauguration day, look outside to see that the world is not on fire, think, hey, maybe things will be okay after all, and then completely disengage. Alternatively, you might feel so frozen with terror at the possibility of persecution that you do nothing. This is why people are saying: don't obey in advance.

It is essential for those of us with more privilege to use it to take care of those who are more vulnerable.

So. Who is most vulnerable? What does that vulnerability actually mean? What are the most likely risks of Trump's presidency? Here's a Guardian article that I think does a good job of summarizing some of the main issues. Go read that, then come back here.

Step Two: Take steps to protect yourself

You've gotta put your oxygen mask on first, right? So before you start getting involved in other causes, figure out what risks YOU are at, immediately, and do as much as you can to secure yourself. Some potential action steps depending on your circumstance may include:

Renewing your passport (helpful for leaving the country, but also for gender/name change purposes)

Getting vaccines / boosters

Securing birth control

Ensuring your necessary papers (birth certificates etc.) are where you have access to them.

Drawing up legal paperwork for spouses/partners (always a good idea, a helpful safety measure in case you lose marriage rights)

Bolstering your data privacy and online security. Here's a step-by-step guide I found that could help with that.

The specific steps you need to take here depend on what risks you, personally, face. You'll want to do some more research into this for your particular scenario.

No matter who you are, though, it's probably a good idea to start saving money and being a little more conservative with your spending and/or pay down debts to free up some cash. You don't know what kind of emergency may befall you, and having spare money for an emergency is never a bad idea.

There is a possibility that the cost of many things you rely on might go up, if Trump goes through with his tariffs plan. You will want to plan for that.

Food costs may also rise due to tariffs (we import a lot of food from Mexico and Latin America for example) as well as a loss of immigrant labor. There is also a possibility that food safety standards could fall due to overturning regulations. Now would be a good time to look into local food resources like farm share/CSA, community farms, etc., and to stock up on a few key staples like rice and beans.

Okay. Now that YOU are reasonably safe...what can you do to protect your community?

Step Three: Get Involved

Here is your mission: You need to stay engaged enough to know what's going on, without burning yourself out or exhausting yourself, and to take actual decisive actions instead of wasting your energy arguing on the internet.

Got that? Okay. Good. Here are some action steps:

Support independent journalism. Subscribe to local papers, donate to and watch public broadcast programming. I signed up for news from ProPublica, for example, as well as the news-roundup service What The Fuck Just Happened Today. The goal is to stay informed without falling down an endless rabbit hole of upsetting information.

Share news and resources with others in your circle. This can be a good use of social media. It's what I am doing right now!

If it is safe for you to do so, challenge and educate your friends/family members/neighbors/coworkers. Only if it is safe for you to do so. Do not put yourself at risk doing this. And do not waste your time arguing with people who are unlikely to change. But if you have well-meaning people in your life who you think could be won over, look for opportunities to do this - the right way. I've had some success with this, I will probably write a guide about it in the future. In the meantime, here's a good article that can help.

Join local grassroots activism groups. You'll have to do some work to decide what groups to join and which causes you want to support, because you cannot do everything. But there are tons of organizations taking direct action in all kinds of causes. Search "grassroots [cause] activists in [where you live]" to start finding things. Once you get involved in one group, you might meet people who can introduce you to other groups and causes. Yes, this means you will have to go outside and meet people. I'm sorry.

Join direct action groups. Same concept as above. You'll have to search in your area but once you know people it'll be easier to find more opportunities. Some of these groups may overlap. You might find direct action opportunities by engaging politically and vice versa. GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THINGS TO HELP.

Get involved in local politics. Here are some quick tips. A lot of things are affected at the city level - stuff like book bans and bathroom bills are often battled first at local libraries and schools, and you can be part of those conversations! Sheriffs are elected and can have a big influence on local policing. Local elections affect how tax dollars are spent, how homeless populations are treated, and lots more. Don't snooze on local elections. Get involved and stay involved.

Look up your representatives. Get in the habit of calling, emailing, and writing letters. Figure out what legislature is being passed and then call your reps and harangue them about it - both to support bills you approve of and shoot down ones you don't. Sign petitions. Join email campaigns. Here's one you can go sign right now from the ACLU. See? Not that scary.

I think a lot of people figure that getting involved in politics doesn't matter or that it's all small potatoes but...man. The president is not god, no matter what he thinks. The sitting administration is not the sole power in the universe. There is an entire machine of government we can lean upon and act upon.

Finally, some general safety notes:

Some forms of direct action are not legal. Take steps to be safe if you choose to partake. Follow the lead of more seasoned activists for what forms of communication to use and so forth.

If you're not willing or able to put yourself at legal risk to act, you can help others by donating to bail funds and legal defense funds.

We've already seen this in some areas, and it will only get uglier - some bad actors are feeling emboldened by the change in regime and will misbehave. It's a good idea to learn some self-defense skills, in whatever way is comfortable to you, and brush up on some tenets of victimology that can help you stay safe. I'll write more about that in the future.

All right. That's all for now. It's by no means comprehensive...but should hopefully help you get started taking the next step. Stay safe out there.

#uspol #politics #direct action #grassroots activism #get involved #election 2024 #us politics #us elections

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cherie-doll · 26 days ago

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:o Im curious, how do you think the cod men would react to their kids wanting to be like them or having interest in joining the military?

hmm

༊࿔ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

࿐ Price...

all his life he's had to look out for others, his shoulders have been tense and heavy with the burden of worrying over his team, he's got them through tough moments

and now his children want to do the same? he honestly had hoped those days of distress were over for him, but it seems as if life was barely giving him a break, a moment's peace before it all went back to the way it was

like the loving father he is, he'll speak with them, try to figure out their true thoughts and goals in life, what they think is happiness and how they'd want to achieve it

he won't let them go on ignorantly, they deserve to know the ugly side of it all, but he knows he won't be able to shield them from everything or forever, which is why he must capacitate them to handle life and navigate through the chaos of it

࿐ Simon...

i think y'all remember how he traumatized those children when he told them his life story, you remember how stunned and heartbroken you were when you listened to him explain it you all in one sitting, if it was too much for you to take you know he has no business telling that same story to his kids as well

thankfully he didn't have any of that planned, still he wanted to gently discourage them from pursuing that path, sure he made it out alive but were the injuries even worth it?

they have been blessed with such a great start in life, a loving set of parents who show them what being gentle and kind is, who are willing to lead them through life and protect them from any evil in this world

they don't know how good they have it, and he'd like to for them to sit and ponder a bit more before they reach the brink of diving headfirst or not

࿐ Johnny...

his boys are always asking to go see his friends he still keeps in contact with because hearing only his side isn't enough for them

you can't help but sigh at their recklessness sometimes, they can be too much when they play pretend to be on missions like their father has told them, trying their best to recreate every scene they can remember

you roll your eyes even more when their father joins in, adding in more realistic dialogue and details that make them squeal in delight at how much fun they're having

it's endearing seeing them bond like this, maybe one day they will grow up into what they dream to be, they've got a father they take after in almost every aspect

you know he'd help them reach the stars if they truly wanted, he'll make them believe they can do everything they want to

࿐ Kyle...

he smiles fondly and caresses his daughter's face, "i'm very flattered" he'll say gently so as to not crush her dreams

he knows how much hell he went through, how much worse some of the people he's worked with had it too, and he understood their pain, all of it and tried to help as much as he could

she asks how it was like for him and he doesn't want to sugarcoat any of it because he knows how necessary some details are, still he omits the most gruesome parts

he knows as time passes he'll be able to explain to her in more detail, he'd rather she look up to someone else maybe you, you've been a great parent and partner to him and he couldn't imagine a stronger person than you

࿐ Roach...

he wouldn't want it to be true for anything in the world, this could just be a phase, right? many kids like playing with toy guns and pretending to fight, so he can only hope his kids will grow out of it collectively

the fear and anxiety that ripples through him is too much and you have to hold and calm him down before his mind can spiral too much, "you're thinking too far ahead" you tell him

also, maybe his kids won't get as involved as he thinks they'll be, he remembers the years it took for him to get to where he was, unless they had a strong determination they would lose interest before getting too involved, or at least he hopes

in the end, he learns to accept what may come, they look up to him after all, aren't they only trying to follow what they think is a good example?

࿐ Alejandro...

his kid didn't show much of an interest until they were entering their teenage years, and, as a father, he'd be neutral about it likely, maybe a slight inclination to disagreeing

would sit down and have a long and honest conversation about the topic with his son, he would bring up personal stories that his son hasn't ever heard before

"in the end, it's up to you, mijo" is all he says when he gets up from the chair and leaves his son deep in thought

he may voice his concerns to you and you try your best to listen to your husband, after all he can't help but worry about his kid, just know what whatever path your child decides to take he'll be right there to back them up no matter what <3

࿐ Rudy...

as supportive as he is, he wouldn't want his kids to see all that blood and death, to deal with what he's had to, he knows where his kids will want to reach, they want to be just like him

he sees the good intentions in their little tender hearts and commends them for wanting to help the world, just this isn't the way for them, and when they exclaim and whine he explains with simple analogies to make them understand

doesn't a nurse carry out her duty just as well as a soldier does? should she be ashamed because she's not on the battlefield taking bullets to the chest like the soldier is?

the soldier finds comfort in her, just like how he found comfort in you, how many times he's buried his head into your shoulder when it all felt like too much :((

it's not shameful nor selfish to not want to fight, some problems may be resolved with peace

࿐ Phillip...

either he'd be really proud or would ask if they really wanted that, the "try it out and see if you like it" type, he bets they wouldn't last a second on the job, some just aren't built for it

but in case he does encourage it, you'd probably have a ton of headaches just dealing with the delusions he's putting into your kid's head

he would be trying to build their character and toughen them up, he finds it touching that the kid will want to be like him, well who wouldn't?

would buy the kid their own uniform and everything just so he can take pictures and show it off to his shadows like "one day this kid will be yelling orders at ya"

maybe even take the kid down to the base on days where he'll be doing paperwork and let him run around pretending to be commander

"it's harmless" is all he tells you when you try to hold him accountable for it

࿐ Makarov...

he certainly does not want his children involved in any dirty business, he gets them everything they ever need so they won't have to stain their hands with blood

if anything he tries to hide that double life of his from them, you know how much he cares for them and if anyone found out he even has children much less are out in the open to kill... he'd be destroyed

"it's not something you should do" the advice he gives is more for their concern than anything, there's a lot of stuff he can't tell them even when they demand more information, some things are too much for children to handle

instead he'd like for them to shift their focus on studying or something that won't make them feel guilty down the road, he seeks your support during these times

for he knows what he's worked so hard to hide can be taken away from him in an instant, and these children don't have a clue about it

࿐ Keegan...

he'd say no so fast, but he sees the way his daughter looks at the guns and rifles he has from when he used to fight up on the garage wall, he sees how at the toy isle she picks out a tank instead of a house for her dolls

he's seen how she pulls his old balaclava over her face and look in the mirror when he's passing by her bedroom, how every time they play fight she seems to know where to hit, where is she learning this from?

but she just wants to be like her father who "has saved the world"

he knows he can't stop her from a decision she wants to make but will certainly try and open her eyes more to the truth of it, hopefully she can fully understand by the time she's old enough

࿐ König...

he's been through stuff but he's proud of it, so it shouldn't have been a surprise that his kid will naturally want to follow in that path

he even taught her to fight and stand up for herself since before she could properly walk, she of course wants to be strong like her father

however, he recognizes he used to be weak before he could be tough and an innocent child will surely be swallowed whole by the cruel world

he's had disappointment from not getting what he wants so he's had to be content with becoming the best at what was given

if his child is to face that same world, he'll help her toughen up, to not let a stab at your side bother too much, to learn to prove others wrong

he'll teach her how to fight her way to the top

࿐ Horangi...

he only got into this field because he was leading a terrible life that was going off the rails

and he hopes the love and care that he gives his child won't make them take desperate decisions

on that note, if you currently reside with him in Korea he knows the service will be mandatory, but what if the child has intentions of staying even after the required 18 months is over?

whatever path his kid chooses he will try his best to raise a confident kid who won't throw himself out to the world without a plan

just because horangi didn't have one yet got his life together he advices his child that he still wasted a lot of time

overall, he'd be okay with it

࿐ Nikto...

it's been drilled into him from childhood to be proud of his country and want to serve it one day, however, he realizes it's glorified

it's never how you think it's going to be, and unfortunately he's experienced that gruesome side, it's what left his face and body all torn and his mental health even worse

he won't let his child be pushed into it, sure be useful where you need to be but don't go blindly believing you can be a hero or someone that will be recognized nationally

no one sees the effort or the blood and sweat that you spill and no one will bend to pick it up, they won't see you break under that forcing hand

he'd strongly advice against it

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lowkeyerror · 6 days ago

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I Had To Come Back

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Notes: 1st person, Agnes, a bit of angst, happy ending, part 2 to I Can't Do This Anymore

Summary: After you left Agatha in the middle of her fight with Wanda, you thought you'd be able to move on with your life. However, it was a foolish thought considering how deeply you felt for Agatha. So eventually you find yourself back in Westview looking for her.

An: Been a long time since I've written in 1st person, but wanted to keep it cohesive with part 1. I had to follow up after getting a comment from @dandelions4us only 3 years later but hope you enjoy part 2.

Part 1 | Masterlist

I didn’t think moving on would be simple, but I hoped it would be possible. However, without Agatha by my side life had become incredibly dull. It wasn’t a lack of excitement, but a lack of someone to share it with. After all those centuries together, I didn’t want to share it with anyone except her.

When I left her that day, I knew it had to be done. I did everything for her, but I would never be enough. I never wanted to leave, but a person can only come in second place for so long. Second fiddle to a hunger that would never be satiated.

I thought eventually I’d miss her less. That I would be able to move on from what we had, but that was entirely foolish. A woman as enigmatic as Agatha would always leave a mark on my soul.

I fought the feeling for years, unwilling to give in without trying, but fuck, I missed her. I saw her in everything I did. I could hear her calling to me, reaching for me. It was like she put a spell on me, which she very well could’ve.

I knew the truth, the feeling was all mine, no magic necessary. I still loved her, I needed to find her. I don’t know if she’d take me back, if she could forgive me for leaving, but I just needed to see her.

It was surprise to find her still in Westview. The town looked the same from the outside, but I could sense a difference from the people within. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked through the town.

I hated the way I felt their eyes linger on me. An outsider, or maybe they recognized me, either way it made me uncomfortable.

Going up to the house I used to live in was more challenging than I thought it would be. As I walked towards the house, I felt my heart rate picking up.

Maybe if I kept walking the block she'd eventually make an appearance. I didn't have to knock, I wouldn't have to face her. I just needed to know that she was ok, that would satisfy whatever I was feeling. At least that's what I started telling myself.

“Are you here for her?”

I whipped around at the sound of a voice. It was Herb. It was strange seeing him outside of the illusion Wanda casted, it was safe to assume his name wasn’t even Herb.

“I’m just visiting it won’t be long. Not trying to cause any trouble,” I leveled with him.

“Good luck, she’s been a bit off of her rocker since the whole Wanda thing,” he mentions.

That set off some alarms in my mind, “How so?”

“Sharon said Agnes is really into rom-coms this week. It changes pretty often, but I think rom-coms will be better than last week’s war movie theme.”

I tilt my head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say she created an… immersive experience for herself.”

I still don’t quite get what he means, but the only way to find out is if I check for myself. With a few small words of self-encouragement and a few deep breaths, I head over to the house.

I wait on the porch after ringing the doorbell. It doesn’t take long before the door opens. Agatha opens the door, eyes wide as they land on me.

“It’s you,” she whispers to herself.

“It is,” I say shuffling in my spot.

“Why are you here? You think after all this time I’d let you just waltz back into my life? You left me,” she doesn’t make eye contact with me.

My stare hits the ground, “Please, can we just talk. I know I left, but can you really blame me. I didn’t know if you’d ever care about me like I cared about you.”

She ushers me into the house. Her hands on my wrist cold like they usually were. I let her pull me into the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you’re back here after all these years. What brings you to town?”

My eyebrows crease, “I’m only here for you Ags.”

She shakes her head and laughs about, “You’re silly, be honest why come home now?”

I’m even more confused, “Home?”

She pushes your shoulder lightly, “Yes, goofball, home. Westview, the town we grew up in together.”

Worry begins to fill my body, as pieces begin to form together in my mind, “Ag- Agnes?”

“Yes, hun?”

I can’t help, but reach out and grab her face in my hands.

“Y/n what are you-”

I sush her as I look into her eyes. I search for Agatha behind her eyes, and begin to panic when I can’t see her. I can’t help as tears begin to fall.

“What did she do?”

I can tell Agnes is confused, but she uses one of her hands to hold mine in place.

“What’s wrong doll?”

Instantly I lose my last bit of composure, “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Forgive me, my love… if I would’ve- I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry.”

Agnes wraps her arms around me. It’s familiar, but different. She holds me up, and swipes at my tears.

“I have you,” she rubs soothing circles on my back but it only makes me cry harder.

My mind is racing. How was I going to fix this? Magic done by the Scarlet Witch herself. If anything I’d need Agatha to guide me more now than ever. Yet the woman was out of my reach. I hoped she was somewhere buried underneath Agnes, but I had no way of knowing.

I pull away to look at her, “I love you.”

A part of her melts away, “You’re a mess, you don’t mean that.”

“I do Ag-Agnes, I mean it more than you can fathom. I love you more than anything and leaving you… it was my greatest mistake. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but allow me to make it up to you.”

Agnes rests her forehead against mine. My breath hitches as she looks into my eyes. Her breathing slows and she searches my features. It feels like an eternity passes, but eventually she puts her lips against mine.

I freeze and she almost breaks the kiss, but my arms encircle her. I keep her close allowing myself to indulge in this moment, I don’t deserve.

“I’m just happy you came back,” she speaks.

It almost sounds like Agatha, but you know better. It breaks your heart, but you’re devout. You’re going to fix this, you’re going to bring her back.

Agnes didn't have any push back when I asked to stay with her. She let me in and I got a glimpse into what the neighbors were saying about her… intense interests. I found a way to mitigate them, keeping her somewhere in the nosy neighbor medium.

I didn’t sleep much, spending most of my time in Agatha’s hidden space in the house. There were traces of her everywhere, I could practically feel her. The Darkhold was nowhere to be found, but I did come across Agatha’s old notebooks. They were filled with knowledge themselves.

I was hoping to find anything about breaking the spell she was under. She had books filled with her messy handwriting, nearly impossible for anyone else to decipher. It was different for me, I had been with her when she filled them, I could recall sitting watching her write, sometimes for hours at a time. She was always so dedicated to the craft.

It took a little over 7 months, before I found something useful; an incantation. It seemed too easy, like there should’ve been a catch to it. Yet it was my only source of chance.

“Agnes, I want to try something with you. It’s a little unconventional, but I need you to trust me,” I say, hoping she would agree.

She places a kiss on my cheek, “We’re past all the dramatics hun, you know I trust you.”

I nod, “Ok, you’re going to sit here, and I’m going to say some Latin. That's it.”

“Sound easy enough, sweetheart."

I begin to say the incantation while looking into Agnes’s eyes. I can see her shifting in her seat slightly uncomfortable. I can’t tell if the walls of the house are shaking or if it just feels that way.

“Stop,” she mumbled under her breath, but I don’t.

I keep going, and eventually she stands. She starts peeling off her clothes and I almost advert my eyes, until I see her changing. The different versions of her begin to peel back like layers.

When it’s over she’s naked in the living room. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I take a knee, unable to fully stand. It feels like all my power has been removed from my body.

“Agatha,” I call out to her, breathlessly. Though it takes all my effort, I lift my head.

“So, you came crawling back.”

It was her, the real her. I could tell by the harsh tone of her voice.

“Welcome back sweetheart,” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.

“How long has it been?”

I attempt to stand, but end up falling over, “Fuck.”

Agatha walks over, picking me up and easily placing me on the couch, “Now answer my question.”

“I came about 7 months ago. It’s been nearly 3 years since I left,” I look at her.

It’s surreal, seeing Agatha and not Agnes.

“3 years, I’ve been trapped for 3 years,” she says to herself in disbelief.

“Why'd you come back?”

She meets my eyes and refuse to look away, “For you, Agatha. When I found you, or should I say when I found Agnes, I freaked out. The Darkhold is gone, I did my best. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t apologize. You did the right thing, I mean what good would it me if we were both trapped.”

“What if I didn’t come back?”

Agatha sighs, “Then I would’ve gotten what I deserved.”

I grab her hand, “No one deserves anything like that.”

She snatches her hand out of mine, “Oh please, I bet you enjoyed the time with Agnes.”

I shake my head at her jealousy. It’s a testing move, but I hook my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me, “Agnes was sweet, but she is not the woman I love.”

“The woman you left,” Agatha’s vulnerability shines through.

“The woman I keep coming back to, no matter how much it might hurt me,” I remind her tentatively.

“You deserve more,” she sighs closing her eyes.

I lean in, “I just want you.”

I’m the one who presses my lips to her’s. She doesn’t deny me, caving into her desires. I’m putting everything that I have to give into this kiss. The passion is driving me and Agatha is meeting me every step of the way.

It’s not until my hand grazes against her bare stomach that we both pause, realizing she’s still naked.

“I want you too, more than all of this,” Agatha stares deeply into my eyes.

“You don’t have to choose, it was foolish of me to ask.”

Now it’s Agatha grabbing your hands, “It wasn't, it was reasonable. I had my priorities out of order, you are the most important thing in my life and I'm not willing to lose you again. I love you.”

I kiss the back of her hand, “I love you too.”

The moment we shared was sweet, but it soon was filled with defeat as I noticed my body still felt weak. I could tell something was wrong, I tried to use my magic, but nothing happened.

Agatha uses her powers to dress and they work just fine, yet I could see a remorseful look take over her features.

“Y/n, I think…”

I don’t care to hear the rest, “It’s alright, they always suited you better than me anyway.”

Agatha shakes her, “We can find a way, I can give them back-”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Aggie. I’m fine, it’ll take a little getting used to, but it’s not going to kill me,” I stand with much effort.

I could tell by the look in her eye, that she didn’t believe me, “I stole your powers.”

I roll my eyes, “I gave them to you, and I’d do it again, as long as you’re here with me, I couldn’t care less.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, “Yes, I’m sure. Now let’s get out of this town, it’s beyond dreadful.”

She takes my hand in hers a mischievous smile on her face, “Anywhere with you, my dear.”

#lowkeyerror #agatha x reader #agatha harkness imagine #agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness

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littlemissmentallyunstable · 4 months ago

Text

there’s been lots of requests and comments so here it is PART 3!!! (SHE’S HERE first anon, hope you survived this long second anon and it was not a dream third anon, I’m posting/making it now fourth and fifth anon)

some of you were going feral for part 2 so I hope this lives up the expectation 😭😭 if not I’m severely sorry

title: the dancer and the angel part 3

pairing: grayson hawthorne x reader

synopsis: grayson has just admitted to kissing lyra kane, the girl you’d been worried about, the girl that was stunning, the girl he said didn’t matter… he chose her over you so now what??

parts: part 1 part 2 part 4

warnings: swearing, SPOILERS FOR TGG

a/n: okay so I hate switching POVs but I felt it was necessary here and I know the start is the same as the part 2 but in Gray’s POV but trust me there is lot more

tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31

GRAYSON’S POV

Guilt has chewed me up and spat me out the whole walk back to our shared room. There’s a pulsating lump in my throat that aches relentlessly, reminding me of what I’ve done. I am a terrible person. I never deserved her and now I’ve done the worst thing I could’ve possibly done, that anyone on this whole planet could’ve ever done. And she will never forgive me for it. I wish there was a way to turn back time and alter certain events. As soon as the time machine is invented, no doubt by my very own brother Xander, I’m coming back to moments before now to stop my idiot brain from-

I can’t even think it. Maybe it’s because it makes it more real. It’s like the last few moments of my life have been erased from my brain, it’s a blank canvas and I have no paints. I know what I did but I can’t remember exact details. Still, I can taste her on my lips, an over sweet taste that was almost too sickly has now morphed into something bitter. Her perfume lingers on my clothes and adds to my ever growing headache. I don’t want to smell her, I don’t want the reminder of the awful human I have become. The monster that now inhabits my body, lives in my skin, breathes my air and poisons the people I love. The ones I truly love.

Y/n. At one point she was the only reason I was still existing, still carrying on. She somehow managed to give me the fight to keep carrying on. I got up most days because I knew I would get to see her face. And now I’m going to throw everything away, our whole relationship. Everything we’ve been through or planned to go through together. It will reduced to nothing in a few minutes.

I’m outside the door, my feet have carried me here through muscle memory. I must go in, I must face her I’m aware but I’m afraid. I’ve never felt so pathetic. I wonder if she is still asleep. Though, I can’t work out whether I’d rather she be awake or asleep. I don’t think I could bear to look at her angelic feature either way. Those wide eyes, round lips, heavenly- I can’t bear it, I’m going to lose her, all of her.

I fiddle around with the key, hoping the door will just never unlock so I don’t have to face this. The mechanism clicks, mocking me. I step in silently and face the door to lock back up again. I don’t understand why, I know I’ll be kicked out in a matter of seconds, what good will a locked door be? And yet I’m still facing the door, fumbling with the key, my back towards her. Though I can hear her getting out of bed. She’s awake. My body’s immediate response is to go into a state of paralysis. I can’t move as the guilt ridden cement hardens over my body, creating an outer shell of the cruel creature I’ve become. Her body is behind mine. I can feel her bright presence radiating her usual tentative nature.

“Are you okay?” I hear her whisper as she touches my arm so gently it stings.

It stings so sharply because I know what I’ve done. The shameful crime I’ve committed. I jerk away suddenly.

“Are you hurt?” she asks, deep concern in her tone.

It kills me. It’s a poisoned dagger wedged deep within my heart, hitting every vital artery. Her voice is so soft, so melodic. She cares so much, too much and I’m about to destroy it all. And as much as I could not say a word I couldn’t live a lie, the guilt would eat me alive. How could I look her in the eye and tell her she’d always been the only one when I know she hadn’t? She’d already noticed earlier today my distant mood. She had always been observant, vigilant about those things concerning me and I’d always been grateful. I wouldn’t have that anymore. Lyra had been on my mind earlier and I couldn’t tell her. Now she would realise.

“No,” I reply.

My voice is unfamiliar to myself, it’s sharp and blunt. It sounds horribly harsh. I could feel it hurt her, the air ripples with a touch of dimness when I hurt her. Even with my back to her it’s obvious to me. I know her so well, too well and from this day on we might drift to perfect strangers. That thought hurts me more than anything.

“Where have you been?” she says. Her voice so sweet, so innocent, cruelly naïve.

I don’t want to break her, I don’t want to do it. It would be like smashing a glass ballerina. Something so beautiful, something so delicate should be preserved not purposely broken. I force my eyes to meet hers. I immediately regret it. The soft mellow colour all melts into one, clawing at my heartstrings and ripping the organ to shreds. She’s so beautiful. How had I ever looked at any other? How had I let myself?

Suddenly I’m drowning in guilt. I don’t know how, it just comes over me suddenly. Like a tidal wave I had my back to. I’ve been swept under by an endless ocean of shame. My lungs swollen full of my own black sin. I don’t know how but I manage to choke out two shaky words.

“I’m sorry.”

My voice cracks. My voice never cracks. She knows that. I’m sturdy, I’m strong, I’m the rock that never breaks and here I am. Here I am crumbling into dust. She’s too smart to miss the signs, she’s too clever not to immediately know something so horribly wrong, her mind is too sharp not to have worked half of it out. She’d already been suspicious of Lyra. She’d already seen what might happen between us even before I did, before it did actually happen.

“Gray?” she asks, my name sounding too sweet on her tongue. The next time she says it will taste bitter, I’m sure of it. She barely whispers the word but I hear her, it rings in my mind. It forever will.

I’m full of pure regret and guilt, it wracks my soul, shaking me relentlessly back and forth until I’m dizzy with it. Remorse’s doors suddenly burst wide open, ready for my grand entrance. My hopes and dreams snicker and smirk smugly as I walk down the runway, my head hanging in embarrassment.

I need to tell her. My heart races in my chest and there’s a lump stuck in my throat, so large it’s started to block my airways. I don’t know how to get the words out, I don’t know how to talk. I feel like I’m suffering some sort of aneurysm. She looks at me, her eyebrows pinched in and eyes narrowed and then I see it. Her eyebrows part and slowly sink. She knows already.

“Tell me,” she murmurs, her voice of an angel shaking.

I close my eyes, trying to suppress the tears. I haven’t cried in years I’ve forgotten this feeling, this heavy weighted agony that ripples through me causing water to infiltrate my eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek and still my shaking hands.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her, an uninvited raw desperation ripping through my voice, “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant for it to happen, I-“

“Tell me,” she grits through her teeth sharply, her eyes glitter so beautifully fierce and fiery, like she wants to kill.

But I know she’s trying to steady her rising sadness by covering up with her fury. I can see through her, like she can see through me. I freeze and the pause elongates. The aching silence is deadly, it’s fatal. I wish she didn’t have to make me say it.

“I kissed her,” I murmur, the words making me feel sick as I say them.

“Who?” she asks, he tone low and ferocious, “who did you kiss? I want to hear you say it.”

I’m twisting a knife into her heart and I know it. But she wants me to cut deeper. She’s a woman of principle, I’ve already hurt her, I might as well do the job properly in her eyes. And I can’t deny her this. Not I’ve stripped her of her dignity, her trust, her love, her everything.

“I kissed Lyra,” I whisper, suddenly aware of the dampness on my cheeks.

A sour taste fills my mouth. The words send lightning sparks across my jaw, sending ribbons of agony down the sides of my face. The truth hurts. Literally. Tears are rolling the side of my face, but I don’t bring my hand to wipe them and nor do I stop them. I’ve never felt more broken.

But she doesn’t care, there is not pity in her eyes. Good. I don’t want he to pity me. She should hate me. She should want me to miserable and hope for me to have a lifetime of the torture I’ve just forced her to endure.

“Get out,” she murmurs, the anger bringing out her natural stunning features. A flicker of boldness in her eyes, the striking angles of her eyebrows, her strong thick lashes and her full lips.

“I’m sorry.” they’re the only words I remember how to say, through my internal fit of torment.

I expect her to hit me around the face, a good strong punch I know she can make or a sharp smack that’ll leave a red hand mark pressed against my cheek. I imagine she might scream at me and ask me all the questions I wish I had answers to. But she does none of that. She only looks at me darkly and utters two last words.

“Leave Grayson.”

I can hear the tears she’s trying to hold back, through the numb façade. I know her better than she’ll ever realise. But it’s not fair for me to stay, not after this. She’s only asking one thing of me when she should be doing so much more. So I do. I turn my back on her again. And I leave.

***

Tears pummel down my cheeks like never before. I can’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like this. I’m blinded by them as I stumble sideways. I don’t know where I’m going. I stand on the edge of the cliff and sink to my knees, letting out a loud guttural scream. I’m there until my throat is so raw I can’t feel it. I bite my lip so hard it draws blood. And then I’m up again and running, following a path my footsteps are dragging me towards. I can’t think straight, I’m dizzy with pain. Before I know it I’m outside the safe house on the island. My hands tremor on the handle and I swing open the door, falling to the floor for my sobs to take me over. My chest aches and burns and tightens. That’s when I realise I can’t breathe properly. I fumble around for my phone, a tear splashing into the illuminated screen. With uncontrollably shaking hands, I typed no words. Just three numbers.

911

***

The wait feels like years, maybe even decades. Each second taunts me, with a mocking tick. I’d crumbled into the corner of the room at some point and stayed there, curled up and choking on my own sorry sobs. What had I done? What had I done? What had I done?

The question circles around my head like the nostalgia of a distorted tune of a merry go round. I’ve never made such a big mistake and my life and deep down there’s a sinking sensation that is telling me I’m not going to be able to make this better. I sob, loud harsh sobs that hurt my lungs and knock the air out of my stomach. My whole being shakes with every strangled noise that escapes my lips. Grieving. I’m grieving over something I chose to throw away. It’s cruelly ironic. But I think part of me is also grieving the good man I once thought myself to be, that she made me believe I could be.

I turned my back on the one and only person in this world who just cared about me, took me for who I am and believed I could do anything. She only wanted the best, she only wanted happiness and she deserved so much more and here I am, stabbing her in the back and dancing in her blood like a madman. She was my everything and I managed to mess it up, just like everything else in my life. I can’t have normal relationships, I can’t do something without messing it up. I’m one big screw up the opposite of how the old man raised me to be. He’s looking down on me now and I can feel his disappointment, like an infection coursing through my bloodstream. I failed him, I failed my brothers, I’ve failed her, I’ve failed myself.

She thought I was better, she believed I could be more than his expectation. And I was stupid enough to believe it, encourage it and let her belive the lie too. We’re all idiots.

I can recite her favourite song, her favourite flower, her favourite food and favourite colour. I can tell you all about her favourite novels and how she orders her books on an endless bookshelf. I know that she tells people her favourite film is ‘it’s a wonderful life’ but it’s actually secretly ‘tangled’. I know she prefers to stay inside and cuddle under blankets rather than have a night out. I know she’d rather reason a thousand books than watch a thousand movies. I know she wanted a library in her dream house and two, maybe three children with her husband and I know she’d sometimes debate about getting a cat as well. I know how she loves brownie batter more than the actual brownies and can’t sleep with any lights on. I know she still uses the bunny rhyme to tie her shoelaces and how she fiddles with her collarbone when she’s nervous. I know exactly what diamond she wanted in her engagement ring and her favourite country. I know what people she despises and I know what people she adores. I know every inch of her face, every hair on her head, every sparkle in her eyes and every cell on her skin.

I know her.

I know her, but that can’t help me now. Pain ripples across the left side of my chest and my hand clamps over it as I grit my teeth to try and bear it. I hear the door creek open and can’t tell whether it comforts me or not.

“Grayson pookie!” Xander calls out, “we’re here.”

His cheerful voice doesn’t provide me with the cushion to this pain I thought it might.

“And we have some in incredibly strong whisky,” Jameson adds, I can here the mischievous grin in his voice, it’s been the same all of his life.

“My nose hairs are officially burnt off,” Xander agrees.

I can’t speak. I try to call out for them but the words die in my swollen throat.

“Where are you Gray?” Nash calls out, he sounds a little more worried than the other two but is concealing it well.

“Here,” my voice is hoarse and laboured, even I can’t recognise it.

The mood immediately shifts, you can feel it. The air becomes tainted with concern as their footsteps approach my cowering figure. The case of whiskey is dropped as there is an audible thunk as it hits the floor. I can feel their bodies enveloping around mine creating something of a circle of safety. I look up to worried face and shiny eyes.

“Help me,” I gasp for air, greedily trying to gulp down the oxygen that I feel so deprived of, “please.”

“We’re here to help you Gray,” Nash murmurs softly. His voice had always been something comforting, especially when I was younger. I wonder if he will be so kind when I tell him what I’ve done. He’s going to hate me, there’s nothing he despises more than a man who can’t respect a woman.

I shake my head and choke out another struggling sob, instead of the words I don’t know how to say. Jameson’s eyes flit between mine and Nash’s, the concern rippling across his features. He’s never looked this concerned for me in his life. I think to all the times as children I’d helped him settle after a nightmare and wiped his tears that he hated falling when the old man had humiliated him. Oh how the tables had turned. Now it was my little brother wiping my tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his touch so gentle it shocks me.

“I can’t-“ I barely get out, wrapping my hands around my neck.

“Gray…” he trails off, unmasked emotion hitting his face like a train.

“I can’t breathe,” I wheeze as the invisible blanket that was set out to suffocate me tightens over my nose and mouth.

“Hey, Gray, look at me,” Nash says, his voice smooth and reassuring, “in and out okay, in and out.”

“I can’t,” I pant, my limbs shaking embarrassingly uncontrollably.

Xander takes both of my hands into his and squeezes them until they still, “yes you can, follow Nash’s instructions okay?”

“Slowly, do it with me,” Nash nods, “in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I do. In and out, a rhythmic pattern. Each time Nash reminds me how to breathe. There’s an aura of calmness about his voice that lulls my panic into a narcoleptic sleep. Once my breathing is halfway regulated I look at him, dead in the eye, with shaking sorrowful lips.

“I fucked up,” I sob, “I fucked up and I don’t know what to do.”

They all share a look, this is the worst state they’ve seen me and we all know it. I begin to pathetically sob uncontrollably once again, the feelings building up in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. It’s like a rabid pack of wolves had been set loose to feed on my internal organs. I don’t know how to stop the ocean of tears, I don’t know how to shut my mind off, I don’t know how to help myself. Reel myself in from this abominable mess I’ve become. I’m hyperventilating, my chest throbbing up and down unevenly. Nash nods towards Jameson, a short, soft, sharp nod of approval.

“Hey! Calm down!” Jameson snaps, giving me a hard slap around the face, “snap out of this!”

The shock shuts me up and the sting stops my tears. I’m back to reality instead of a wallowing mess. Nash must’ve been approving the slap I realise in the sudden cleared head I’d obtained

“Sorry,” Jameson mumbles at me, looking a little guilty.

I massage my jaw, “no I think I needed that.”

He grimaces and then softens his tone, “what happened Gray?”

I tense, growing very still, “I can’t say it out loud, I can’t, I’m awful, I’m horrible-“

“What happened?” Nash drawls.

I choke out yet another unnatural sound. Seems the slap didn’t snap me hard enough into reality. I exhale slowly. I have to say it, now or never.

“I kissed Lyra.”

The words hurt even more this time, that they did when I’d admitted it to y/n. Neither one of my brothers can mask their honest reaction.

“Oh fuck,” Jameson blurts out, “you cheated?”

Anger. He’s fuming with me. I can see the rage trailing through his eyes and blossoming into his expression.

“I didn’t mean to,” I reply, feeling like a small child.

Jameson’s eyes widen and fury flashes across his face, “how can you not mean-“

Nash shoots him a look and his mouth glues shut. Then he turns to me and I can’t quite read him yet. I gulp.

“No one does that kind of thing for no reason,” he says sternly, “I never thought you’d be the one of the four of us to ever do that, seems I was mistaken little brother.”

Disappointment. He’s disappointed. A horrible sinking feeling settles in my stomach. Nash is disappointed in me. It’s one of the worst feelings imaginable. There had only been few times in my life when he had been and I remember the feeling all too well. Shame has me in a chokehold an it’s succeeding in strangling me. I can‘t bring myself to meet his eyes, I don’t want to see that look I can feel is on his face, that look of pure disapproval.

“How did she find out?” Xander asks quietly.

Shock. He hadn’t said anything until now, but his lips had been slightly parted and he’d paled a little. He never thought I’d do this to anyone, he’s yet another person I’ve let down.

“I told her,” I murmur, “the guilt was consuming me.”

“As it should,” Jameson snaps, twitching with a fiery ferocity.

“Jamie,” Nash says, trying to keep some kind of diplomacy.

“No,” he growls, “you don’t do that to a girl, your girl, you can’t do that!”

“Don’t take the moral highground now,” I spit.

“When you’ve cheated on your girlfirend? Yeah I think I will,” he replies, the bitterness rolling off of his tongue like a deadly poison. He doesn’t know I’ve already poisoned myself with my own actions, his words can’t hurt me.

“I didn’t mean to,” I falter.

“Bullshit,” he grits through his teeth, in two definitive and threatening symbols.

“Careful Jamie,” Nash warns.

“All this is your fault anyway,” I continue, ignoring the warning.

“So it’s my fault, you kissed another girl, yeah, okay Gray,” he nods his head with a sarcastic smile.

“It is!” I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air, “if you hadn’t locked me in a room with her-“

“So it’s my fault you couldn’t keep up dick under control,” he quips, interrupting me.

“You could’ve locked me with my one of my sisters but of course you just had choose the only girl who isn’t related to me,” I seethe.

“Odette isnt related to you,” Xander pipes up. I’d forgotten he was there, that anyone besides me and Jameson were there.

“Odette is old enough to be my grandmother,” I scowl at him, immediately feeling bad as the words leave my lips, but don’t dwell on it as I turn back to Jameson, “why did you make me a player in your sick excuse of a game?”

“You can’t use the game as an excuse,” he laughs darkly.

“I will,” I reply sharply, “this is your fault and Avery’s fault too.”

“Avery? Don’t make me laugh,” he rolls his eyes.

“The game never should’ve been created by her,” I yell, “that’s why I’m in this mess!”

“No, you’re in this mess because of you,” he shouts back, “but don’t you dare bring Avery in to this it’s not her fault.”

I feel like I’m one of those circus acts, the ones that lay on a spinning board and get knives hurled at them. Only in my case the knives are the truth and they actually hit me.

“Why did you make me a player?” I ask quieter now, my voice hoarse, “why?”

“I didn’t know making you a player would result in this,” he says.

“It was so irreverent,” I snap becoming angrier by the second, a sudden burst of red overriding any rational sense in my head, “I never needed to play.”

“You can’t pin this on me Gray, if it didn’t happen with Lyra, who knows who else it would’ve happened with,” he hisses.

“So you think I’m just like this? You think this is me?” I ask him, prodding the hollow space where my heart used to be.

“I didn’t before….” he trails off, sighing, “but now I don’t know what the fucking think of you.”

“Jamie,” Nash repeats again, in the same warning tone as before. We both ignore him.

“Just because you and Avery are all peaches and roses-“

“Leave Avery out of your anger issues,” he roars defensively.

“No,” I counter, raising an eyebrow, mirroring his usual argument demeanour, “you think you’re so perfect now you’ve got your dream girl and the two of you are so much better off than the rest of us, because your love is undeniable or whatever bullshit people feed you about it-“

Jameson’s features twitch for a split second. He’s hurt, but won’t show it. He’ll refuse but I know that it hit a nerve that won’t heal for a long time. I stop mid-sentence.

“I am far from perfect, I think we both know that,” he says, in a low voice, “look you’re hurting, I get it, but I’m not going to mollycoddle you and tell you it’s okay when it’s not. I’m not going to stand here and lie to your face because as your brother that would be the worst possible thing for me to do to you.”

“My brother would try and understand what it’s like from my side,” I say, desperation clawing at my voice.

“You’re looking for a fight Grayson and it’s not going to end well, not with me,” he warns, shaking his head.

“Maybe I do want a fight, but you know you do too,” I growl rolling up my sleeves, “so fine, I’ll give you a fight Jamie.”

“I don’t want a fight, I want some justice for y/n,” he states simply, “she did nothing to deserve that Gray, she’s been so good to you, the sweetest soul on this earth and she’s helped you through a lot of shit and this is how you’re repaying her?”

“Jameson,” Nash says.

He ignores him for the third time and I can see his calm facade beginning to drop, “you think because you called a 911 and you’re here crying that I should feel sorry for you?”

“I thought you were going to be here for me,” I reply numbly, my tone dead, “clearly I’m mistaken.”

“I can’t be there for someone with no morals,” he replies, “you cheated and you’re the one who’s upset about it, how do you think she feels?”

“You think I don’t know her?” I fire back, my throat burning, “you think I don’t know exactly what she’s doing right now? I hate myself, I hate myself for doing what I did!”

“Good you should!” he screams back.

Before I know it I feel myself charges towards him, ready to throw a good punch but Nash and Xander launch onto me to quickly and managing to hold me back. Nash’s grip is so tight I don’t dare try and budge.

“Out. Now.” Nash says sharply to Jameson, “go and cool off.”

His tone sends a shiver down my spine that I won’t admit to. Jameson opens his mouth to argue.

“Jameson.”

He skulks away, with a sullen face. We all wait frozen until the door has been slammed shut. Nash lets my arm go, dropping it harshly and Xander follows suit.

“And you’re no better,” he turns to me, placing his cowboy hat on a nearby surface, “I’m only sending him away because you can’t be left alone in this mess and so the two of you don’t rip each other to pieces.”

Silence stills the room. His voice echoes but makes no sound all at the same time.

“Take a second, take a breath and we’re going to talk this through like adults,” he says, “if you want to carry on being a child then leave. Calm down, you’re not a toddler having a tantrum, you’re a grown man, act like it.”

Nash has a way of snapping me back to reality. I nod shakily.

“Talk.”

I begin, “I don’t even know why I kissed her, I didn’t mean to it just-“

“Happened?” he guesses, “no little brother, that doesn’t just happen.”

“The I don’t know Nash,” I say, tipping my head back and resting it on the wall behind me.

I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen. It just did. She was there, just stood there. Her hands looped naturally around the back of my neck, warm and gentle, “someone sent me that ticket Grayson. I thought it was Avery but if it wasn’t…”

She trails off, her voice small and tentative. Her golden eyes filled with the utmost worry. I wanted her to know she’d be okay, that she’d have someone to keep her safe. Her arms get more comfortable around my neck. She’d felt it too, the electrifying spark between us. It was exhilarating but something about it was off, synthetic.

“Then who the hell was it?” I questioned, my hands magnetised to her cheek all of a sudden.

Lyra didn’t pull away and neither did I. I lower my head and she raised onto her toes and titled hers back a little. She was graceful, like a dancer. My lips brushed over hers. They were sweet like honey. For the first few moments it was bliss and the realisation hit, like a stone to my stomach. I jerked backwards suddenly, shaking my head.

“I can’t do this,” I said, my fingers trying to wipe her taste off of my lips, “I don’t- this isn’t-“

I was tongue-tied, not able to explain to her how wrong it was. The words wouldn’t work the way I wanted them to.

“Gray?” Lyra murmurs, a tender voice. Her amber eyes are widened and slightly confused.

“No,” I yell. She flinches and another wave of horribly strong emotion rushes over me, drowning me. “No I’m in love with someone else. I don’t know what that was. I can’t-“

I stumbled backward a few steps and the turned around and ran. Like the coward that I am.

“It did just happen,” I murmur, lifting my head from the wall to look my older brother in eye, “I swear to god, I didn’t intend for it to happen, I didn’t even know I had feelings for her.”

I can see he disagrees still and isn’t convinced. I don’t know how to prove it to him.

“Let’s establish one thing here, who do you like?” Xander asks me.

“I like Lyra,” I say slowly, “but I love y/n.”

Nash shakes his head, “if you loved her you wouldn’t have done that.”

“I made a mistake,” I press on.

“And you will pay for it and regret it for the rest of your life,” he shrugs, “it’s not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. Listen, I love Libby and loving someone means so many things. One of those things is that I don’t even look at other women, to me they don’t even really exist. Libby is my world and no one else even comes into the equation, so the fact is someone else came into the equation for you, meaning the love wasn’t there.”

“But it was, I felt it,” I say, my voice breaking as I press my chest.

“What do you feel for Lyra?” he asks plainly.

“I don’t know, she’s intriguing and smart and beautiful,” I murmur, “and I like her, but I don’t know if I have romantic feelings for her.”

“Then why did you kiss her?”

“Comfort? Lust? Greed? Selfishness? I don’t know it just happened,” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.

“Stop using that phrase as a get out clause,” Nash shakes his head, “you have to admit to yourself more than anyone that this didn’t just happen.”

“I leaned in and I put my lips of hers, and I didn’t stop it, it didn’t feel wrong straight away,” I admit out loud finally.

“It didn’t?” Xander says, looking wounded.

“No, it didn’t feel wrong until I realised what I’d done,” I say, looking down, suddenly finding my shoelaces to be the most interesting thing in the world.

No one replies for a long while. That’s when I realise how exhausted I truly am and how much I crave sleep.

“I vouched for you,” Xander says quietly, “I told her that you’d never do that, that you weren’t that guy.”

“I’m not,” I say, in denial at first. I take a moment to analyse his sentence and then come to a sickening realisation, “oh my god I am…”

“She was already anxious about where your loyalties were Gray,” he winces.

“I proved her right, I proved every worry she had right, I just proved to her that she shouldn’t have trusted me,” I spiral, hating that I hadn’t seen it sooner.

Xander looks to Nash for support for a reply.

“Yeah,” Nash sighs, “you did.”

“I need to fix this, there has to be a way-“

“Grayson,” the acuteness of his voice cuts through my sentence like a machete.

I freeze and clamp my mouth firmly shut.

“This isn’t a broken vase, you can’t glue it back together or buy a new one,” he tells me softly.

He was referring to a time where Jameson and I had been seven and eights years old. We’d been brawling of course, Hawthorne style and accidentally smashed a vase. Usually it wouldn’t matter, there were vases all over Hawthorne House and they were smashed frequently. But this wasn’t just any vase. It was nan’s priceless vase that had belonged to her daughter, our grandmother, Alice. We were never allowed within a five mile radius of it, but like the rebellious children we were, we didn’t listen. Through our fight we’d smashed the whole thing, it was truly destroyed. The two of us stayed up for nights on need gluing together the pieces only to realise it was never going to look like the original again. So we’d hunted to buy another, problem was, this vase was one of a kind. It turned out after four weeks or trying to ship a similar one in that nan had known the whole time. She didn’t speak to either of us for a good few months.

“This is real life, she is a real person and you hurt her,” he explains, “fixing this isn’t an option. There isn’t a way to fix it, there are no pieces to our back together, okay?”

I’m silent but it’s the loudest voice in the room. My face pinches together in agony. For the first time, a little of the disappointment fades and my brother’s face softens. He wraps a strong arm around me and I flop into him like a lifeless bag of nothingness. I bury my head into his shoulder and try to cry but there seems to be no tears left. He understands and holds me for a moment. Suddenly I’m six years old again and crying in Nash’s in my arms over Jameson hiding my favourite teddy bear at the time, then I’m eleven in his arms with pneumonia after being stupid enough to get caught in the rapids un the dead of winter wanting a good photograph of a rare fish, then I’m seventeen, crying over a redheaded girl who I thought I’d managed to murder. And now here I am, at twenty-two years old in his grasp once again, having made the greatest mistake of my life.

Suddenly I feel another set of arms wrap around the both of us.

“Group hug!” a familiar voice sings.

Leave it to Xander to make me crack a half smile in the darkest moments I’ve ever experienced. After a while I pull away and sigh.

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” I ask, pulling away.

“Honestly?” Xander asks.

I nod

“No,” he says. I wish I could see that little glimmer of a lie in his eyes, but I can’t. And it kills me.

“Think about it like this,” he sighs, “would you forgive Eve for what she did?”

“This is not the same thing,” I reply coldly.

“Eve cheated your trust, she betrayed you,” he explains gently, “that’s exactly how she feels.”

Dread fills my every pore as I murmur lifelessly, “I’m as bad as Eve.”

“No wait,” he says, looking guilty and panicked all at the same time, “that’s not what I meant!”

“I know,” I reassure him so some of his guilt subsides, “but it’s true and now I’ve just realised.”

“Look Gray, you aren’t Eve. You’re never going to be Eve, but think of how you felt then. That’s how y/n feels,” Nash soothes, “she’s not going to just forgive you, that’s not how it works.”

“You just broke her heart Gray,” Xander adds, careful to keep his tone as light as a feather, “for a girl you just met.”

“Why am I horrible person? Why do I always find a way to mess to something good?” I groan, smacking my head on the wall behind me. There’s an audible thump as pain spreads through the back of my skull. I wonder if I can concuss myself to forget all of this, but I don’t attempt the idea.

“You don’t-“

“No I do,” I say firmly, cutting him off, “I’m not meant for love, to love or to be loved, I’m not built for it. I’m not a good enough person for it. I’m never going to find my Libby or my Max or my Avery.“

“Grayson-“ Nash begins.

“Emily knew it and now so does y/n,” I snap.

My brothers still at her name, not moving a muscle. I never bring up Emily.

“Listen to me,” Nash says sharply, getting my attention, “you are meant to be loved. You are meant to love. I love you, Xander loves you, Jameson loves you and y/n loved you too…”

The change of tense makes my soul ache.

“…but this time around, you made a mistake, a costly mistake. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.”

I nod numbly, robotically.

“What can I do to make it up to her?” I ask, my voice beginning to tremble, “to show her I’m sorry? Something there has to be something.”

Nash gives me a grim look and Xander’s face remains blank, they’re the only answers I need. My head sinks into my hands. The door reopens and I look back up. Jameson has returned.

He meets my eyes, “Avery’s with her.”

Blood surges through my heart and I can almost smile. He checked on her. For me.

“Is she okay?” I ask quickly.

Jameson looks at me and for a split second I almost see the ghost concern is his eyes. He shakes his head softly, “no, but she will be,” he replies, it’s an attempt to comfort me and I am grateful.

“Thank you,” I mumble.

“I’m not apologising for what I said, because I still stand by it and you won’t change my mind,” Jameson says, “but I am sorry for being so angry about it.”

“You were right,” I whisper, “you were right about me. I never deserved her, so was nothing but an angel to me and I just turned around and threw it all away. I abused the luxury I had, I stabbed her in the back and then gifted another with the knife, I’m a horrible person.”

“What you did was wrong, but that’s doesn’t make you a horrible person,” he sighs, “you need time Gray, this is going to take a lot of healing. On both sides.”

“I don’t deserve to heal, I deserve to be in pain,” I murmur, the dullness in my tone echos around the empty walls.

“Oh no, we’re not going back to emo Grayson,” Xander says quickly, shaking his head.

“I agree with Xander on this one,” Nash nods, readjusting his cowboy hat.

“I don’t want to hear you blasting my chemical romance at three a.m and then denying it later again, you came out of that phase we’re not going back there,” Jameson tells me.

I bark out a laugh that thaws my icy chest. I then bite the inside of my cheek.

“I can’t fix this, can I?” I say, looking at the ground,

Nash shakes his head softly.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed,” Xander says.

“You’ll get through this Gray,” Jamie agrees, “I know it.”

The room grows still.

“Can we drink that whiskey now?” I ask, to cut through the silence. I feel like getting drunk, I feel like I need some relief.

“Big brother,” Xander nods at Nash handing him the bottle.

“Little brother,” he tips his cowboy hat in reply before taking the bottle into his hands and cracking it open.

“Let me pour these things properly,” Nash grins, “Jamie, come help.”

“Wait me too!” Xander jumps up,

“Stay with Gray,” he shakes his head.

“I don’t need to be babysat,” I grumble, annoyance written all over my face.

“I want to watch them pour whiskey properly,” Xander explains, “so I can impress Max.”

My eyebrows fly to my forehead, “Max drinks?”

“No I want to impress her though,” he grins.

‘You’re an odd human,” I almost laugh, tilting my head to the side.

“Why ta very much!” he says, almost skipping away.

Once I know they’re all gone, I lean back on the wall, my heart feeling a tiny bit less heavy. The pain isn’t gone. I think I’ve just gone numb. I feel hollow, empty, nothingness. Guilt is still gnawing at my insides but slower. A satifying clink against the fragile rim of the glass takes me out of my own head for a split second. There are hushed voices from the kitchen, I notice. I walk over to the door that lay ajar, I lean in to listen.

“We need to tell him,” it sounds like Jameson.

“Not now,” the accent indicates Nash.

“Then when?” Xander’s voice asks, “how long can we prolong it.”

“I can hear you,” I tell them, raising my voice a little.

They turn to face me, awkwardly remaining silent. The expressions on their faces don’t offer me comfort.

“Whatever it is, spit it out,” I say, “it’s not like tonight could get any worse.”

They share a look. Apparently it can. I feel sick to my stomach.

I can barely breathe, “who died?”

“No one has died,” Xander says quickly, “yet.”

“What?” I say, my tone deadly,

Nash glares at him, then turns back to me. There’s sorrow laced delicately, deep within his hazel irises.

“Gray,” he says gently, “Gray we hate to do this but…”

“What? What is it?” I ask urgently.

“Gigi’s missing.”

The words shock me to my core. I feel my throat begin the close up as panic returns with a smirk and triumphant greeting. My whole world has collapsed in less than 24 hours.

***

YOUR POV

I don’t hate him. Call me naive or call me stupid. But I don’t. I don’t think I ever could. The kind of love I have for him is unconditional, irrevocable. Time can’t heal a wound this deep and although it is still fresh now, I can tell. But if he were to say sorry I think I would forgive him every time. And if he asked me back I’d fall into his arms into an instant. And I hate myself for it, it’s stupid and it’s a little cruel. How easily I would take him back after what he did. I know I shouldn’t but something inside of me is drawn to him. Like an invisible magnet has been planted in our hearts. I wish I didn’t love so hard, fall so deeply, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt so badly. But it’s in my nature, it’s who I am. I wonder if he knows how much pain I’m in, the rippling agony that rolls across my chest relentlessly with no hint as to when it will cease. I’m tired of being the second choice but unfortunately I wouldn’t mind being his. And I know it’s completely stupid of me to think that way, completely wrong but love makes you do stupid things so they say. I sit on the beach, by the sea in a state of numbness. Silent tears roll down my tears as the waves lap my feet. Deja vu washes over me and the memories of Grayson and I the night of the game flash through my mind.

I grip his hand and run with him as he guides me the just beyond the shore. He sits down swiftly on the sand and pulls me down to sit between his legs. I lean my back onto his chest and let him nuzzle his face into my collarbone.

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing my neck, “only you.”

Only me, huh? Only me…

The waves crash against the rocks, hurtling a salty spray towards me. I hear footsteps and turn around. Avery stands there, a mournful expression over her delicate face. She knows. I stumble towards her and collapse into her arms in a fit of uncontrollable sobs now and she holds me. Her touch is gentle and warm but it’s nothing compared to his. I realise he might never hold me in his arms again and I cry even harder.

***

I don’t hold Lyra accountable. She is not to blame. Some girls in my position might dream about different ways to brutally murder her but I can only ask what comfort would it bring me? My feelings are already dead, what good is more pain doing?

There was a choice that Grayson Hawthorne was given: his dancer or his angel. He chose his dancer and I hope he’s happy. Because angels have wings and we rise up stronger.

idk guys I think I wrote Grayson’s POV really awfully to be honest… also I feel like the 911 meet up was not like their normal ones where they try and like do something (e.g drink or dare) and then talk about the pain but that’s bc Grayson was in such a mess and then they had to drop the bomb that Gigi was missing. so anywayyyss…

I am sorry this took so long and I hope it lived up to any expectation you wanted it too (sorry if it didn’t) and I hope you enjoyed 🤍🤍 thanks for reading as always

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uyuforu · 10 months ago

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Boda Asteroid Aspects

Boda (1487) is an asteroid discovered in 1938 by Karl Willhelm Reinmuth in Germany. It was named this way after Karl Boda. Boda in Spanish means "wedding", so it was natural for this asteroid to represent that. Boda is an asteroid we look at when we want to know more about what kind of wedding one will have. The Boda Persona Chart also means the same thing, and it gives more details about one's special day.

Please remember than one bad aspects doesn't necessary means it will be bad. Nothing is perfect. Some aspects can save others, and placements too.

Instructions:

For Boda PC: Check Sun & Boda for those aspects.

For Natal Chart, Juno, Groom, Briede PC: Check Boda for those aspects.

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Boda by Signs, Houses, Degrees

Good Aspects

* Conjunct, Semi-Sextile, Sextile, Trine

જ⁀➴ Sun: Ignore for Boda PC. For Natal Chart, you could feel like the main character at your wedding, and you could feel like your wedding really is about you. You could feel really in tune at your own wedding, and it could look exactly how you wished it would. For Juno, Groom/ Briede PC, your spouse could feel like the main character during your wedding. The wedding could also look exactly the way they imagined.

જ⁀➴ Moon: The wedding can be very emotional, people could cry a lot, a very familial wedding too. Mother or mother-in-law could be very invested in the wedding. People could be very attached to the wedding emotionally. People are happy to be here.

જ⁀➴ Mercury: People are chatty during the wedding, people could laugh a lot and have a good time. People talk to each other, there is not fight but mostly good speeches and good jokes around. Communication is clear too.

જ⁀➴ Venus: A very romantic wedding, you could feel very in touch with your loved ones and spouse during the wedding. It is a love wedding. Romance at its fullest. You could often demonstrate your love for your spouse during the ceremony and party.

જ⁀➴ Mars: A very fun wedding, the party can go wild. People can dance a lot, and move a lot, meaning people are actually energized by the wedding and aren't just staying seated. People can cheer the wedding a lot. You could feel very motivated to do your wedding, you can also want to celebrate as soon as possible. People could be excited about the wedding too.

જ⁀➴ Jupiter: A very lucky wedding, people can be very happy to be there. They could be very joyful and are very happy. You could also feel lucky about your wedding, maybe you got lucky for the dates you wanted for example. You could feel happy to get married. You may spent money on your wedding too. Opportunity to celebrate it in foreign lands.

જ⁀➴ Saturn: You could want to take your time to organize your wedding. Your wedding could be celebrated for some times. You could mark people's mind for a while with your wedding, in a good way. People could talk about it after and still express how fun it was. It could also mean your wedding party will last long until the morning for example.

જ⁀➴ Uranus: The Wedding could be very original, avant-garde and it could be also revolutionary. People could be amazed by all the original ideas you had. People can also feel inspired by your wedding. You could have a wedding in foreign lands. Your wedding could change your guests, transform them. But it can also transform you and your spouse.

જ⁀➴ Neptune: Your wedding could look very dreamy. It could look like a fairytale, a dream. You could feel like your achieve your dream wedding. People at your wedding may be emotional and they could cry at how beautiful your wedding is.

જ⁀➴ Pluto: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse in a good way. It could be the new beginning of something for both of you. It could also be well transformative for people.

જ⁀➴ Rising: You could look very in tune with your wedding, the wedding could look in your aesthetic, you fit well in it. The wedding does look like yours, and people recognize your style in the wedding.

જ⁀➴ IC: You may celebrate your wedding in your homeland. Family is there. The wedding could have a lot of memories from your childhood, or something feels nostalgic about it. A lot of children could also be there. You could feel close to your family during your wedding.

જ⁀➴ DSC: Your wedding could look exactly how you wanted it to look like. You could also feel like you are marrying your dream person. You could feel like you and your spouse are the most important people there, it's your day, your moment. You could only truly care about them.

જ⁀➴ MC: Popular wedding! The wedding could also look very good, and it could have a good reputation. People will still talk about your wedding as one of the best ever. It could also become famous perhaps on social media too.

જ⁀➴ Vertex: Your wedding will transform you and your spouse. It could be a major event in your life. You could also have been destined to marry. It could have been part of your Soul contract.

જ⁀➴ North Node: Destined wedding. Your wedding could be part of your soul purpose.

જ⁀➴ Chiron: Your wedding will heal your traumas, and triggers. If you were scared or something happening at your wedding, you will soon see there is nothing to worry about.

જ⁀➴ Juno: You could feel like you are marrying the love of your life. Your wedding could be very romantic, and it may feel like a fairytale to you.

જ⁀➴ Asteroid Groom (5129)/ Briede (19029): You could be very in tune with your spouse, you guys could have a good communication during the wedding. You could have good moments with them and you could feel very happy. You could also feel very much in your own bubble.

Bad Aspects

*Square, Quincunx, (Opposite)*

*Opposite to me is a pretty neutral aspect, I don't necessarily see it as a "bad" aspect, so take it lightly if you have oppositions

જ⁀➴ Sun: Ignore for Boda PC. For the Natal Chart, this could mean you feel like there is something wrong with the wedding. It could not be the wedding you expected, or you could feel invisible at your own wedding. For Juno, Groom/ Briede, it's your spouse who feel left out of the wedding. They could also feel like the wedding doesn't suit them or it is not what they expected.

જ⁀➴ Moon: Mother or Mother-In-Law are too attached to the wedding, and may want to control it, taking decisions and not asking for your opinion. People can cry a lot, maybe a bit too much. Family members could come but there could be drama related to them. Moody people can also be there. You could also be moody or just too much emotional during your wedding.

જ⁀➴ Mercury: Communication is not clear at all, it's messy, people will maybe not listen much. Gossips can take place, and some people can speak sh*t about the wedding. Speeches can be a mess. People may not talk much to each other during the wedding. You could also not communicate well or not enough during the wedding which causes problems.

જ⁀➴ Venus: Romance is not so present, you could not want to also make a super romantic wedding. It can just be that you are not comfortable with showing off your love, and you prefer to keep certain things private. The wedding could also not be a love wedding. You could feel also a cold atmosphere during your wedding day. Doesn't have to but it can be.

જ⁀➴ Mars: People can actually not be that excited about the wedding. The could not dance much during the party and not be that energized either. They can sit all along. You could also not have much motivation to organize your wedding, and you could let someone else do it or pay people to do most of the stuff for you. You could also have fights and arguments with people during your wedding. People could also create a fight or an argument.

જ⁀➴ Jupiter: You could spend a lot of money on your wedding too, but it may be something that you don't like or it stresses you out. You may feel out of luck about event of your wedding. You may struggle to make your wedding happen or with the organization of it. There could be some conflicts or problems related with the guests.

જ⁀➴ Saturn: Your wedding could take a lot of times to be organized, and it can go slower than what you wish. The wedding party could also last for too long, and it could become a burden. Your wedding could also being remembered for being boring or too long. It could be remembered for the bad reasons. There could also have a lot of obstacles during your wedding.

જ⁀➴ Uranus: Your wedding could be revolutionary in a bad aspect, it can shock people for example. Your wedding could also not be that different or original from other weddings. It doesn't have much impacts on people.

જ⁀➴ Neptune: Your wedding could be full of illusions. You could have had certain ideas for your wedding and in the end you need to give those up because you can't achieve them. It could also mean some people can drink too much alcohol at your wedding, and in the worst cases, drugs could also be used. It could also mean, again in worst case scenario, that your wedding turns into a nightmare. People could also cry a lot and be moody, arguments and fights could happen.

જ⁀➴ Pluto: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse, but also your guests but in a negative way. It could be a catalyst in your life.

જ⁀➴ Rising: You may have a certain style at your wedding, and it could have an aesthetic that does not belong to you. You could actually not fit well in this style, and people could feel like your wedding doesn't seem like yours, in a way that it doesn't look like you.

જ⁀➴ IC: You could feel like your wedding is not familiar to you, or the wedding is not happening in your homeland. Some family members could not wish to come, or you could have a fight with some before the wedding.

જ⁀➴ DSC: Your wedding will maybe not exactly look like how you wish it could look. You and your spouse could have an argument, or some differences during the wedding.

જ⁀➴ MC: Your wedding could not have much impacts on people. Worst case scenario, people could talk about it like it was a bad wedding, or they could make fun of it. People could also remember your wedding for the bad reasons, or a drama that happened.

જ⁀➴ Vertex: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse in a negative way. You were fated to get married. It may be part of your Soul contract.

જ⁀➴ North Node: Destined wedding. Your wedding could be part of your soul purpose.

જ⁀➴ Chiron: There could be triggers at your wedding, or something may recall a trauma to you. Perhaps your wedding could also create new traumas or triggers to you. It could also mean you could be quite stressed or anxious about your wedding for a certain reason.

જ⁀➴ Juno: You could feel like your wedding lack romance, or perhaps you didn't want to make too much out of it. So your wedding could not considered as very romantic.

જ⁀➴ Asteroid Groom (5129)/ Briede (19029): You could be out of tune with your spouse during the wedding. It could also be a sign of bad communication during your wedding. You could argue or have a fight, a disagreement during your wedding.

Thank you for reading!

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thedemoninme141 · 4 months ago

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Her Heartbeat, Chapter 1: Her Anger.

Summary: Wednesday's anger got her into trouble, Where do you come along?

Warnings: There isn't really any warning but I guess WednesdayBeatingPeople???? FLUFF!!!! No angst in this chapter, but who knows what happens in the future...

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Wednesday sat there, in her dorm, right in front of the half-colored half-dead window.Your diary in her hand. And for the first time in her life, Wednesday felt anger. Anger was for people who lost control, who let their emotions drive their actions, who lashed out in fits of rage. Wednesday was never angry. She was annoyed most of the time, but angry? Never. At least that's what she kept telling herself. But inside, her blood simmered with a quiet rage, an anger that she had never considered a flaw but rather a necessary tool for survival. It was not an issue—it was a tolerance bar. And God help whoever crosses it.

So when those boys at Weathervane decided to mock Enid, they unknowingly signed their own fate. The day was already going bad and Wednesday's tolerance bar had reached its limit, and she had done what she deemed appropriate. Enid had tried to stop her, of course, pulling on her arm. She was still in control, right?

Okay fine! She broke a few bones, dislocated a jaw or two, and made sure they would remember to keep Enid’s name out of their mouths for as long as they lived.

When the cops came to the scene, Wednesday was still standing over the boys, wiping her knuckles with a napkin. She was arrested for the third time in her life. Or was it fourth time? Those boys were arrested too, but somehow it was only Wednesday who ended up with a mandatory sentence: Anger Management Therapy sessions. How utterly ridiculous. What could possibly be wrong with expressing herself in a way that ensured she was heard, understood, and remembered?

"You cannot say no, Wednesday, if you do not attend and pass this therapy session, I will have no choice but to expel you."

Ugh, why did Weems even survive Thornhill's poison?

And that’s how Wednesday found herself stuck in this new circle of hell. It was infuriating. It was unjust. And it was a complete waste of time.

The sessions were held in a nondescript building just off the main street in Jericho, where people who had done things they "shouldn't" were supposed to fix themselves. They were meant to "reflect," "heal," and "improve." Wednesday didn't need improvement. She was perfect as she was, she was everything they could never be: self-sufficient, rational, and unapologetic.

The group leader, David, was an insufferable man in his mid-thirties. And much to Wednesday's dismay, he was the male version of Enid. He was incessantly cheerful, overly intrusive, and sickeningly optimistic about everyone’s potential for change. Wednesday found him exhausting.

David had made it his mission to get Wednesday to "open up," constantly encouraging her to share her feelings, recount her past, and dig deep into the source of her "anger." But Wednesday refused to play his game. She sat through the sessions in stony silence, expressing her disinterest as the other participants spoke of their mistakes and regrets. The only sound she made was the tap of her boots. Maybe she can annoy David enough to get kicked out of this nonsense.

She showed up late, ignored his questions, and rolled her eyes whenever he tried to address her. But David was unflappable. He would only chuckle softly, as if she were some mischievous child whose antics were endearing rather than infuriating. Every time she pushed, he merely pushed back with more patience, more persistence, and an infuriatingly steady resolve. After a while, she realized he would not break, and she would only be prolonging her sentence by continuing to fight him.

She attended every session and waited silently while the others poured their hearts out. She refused to say a word, they didn't deserve to know a thing about her. Maybe things aren't exactly too bad. She can just go through alone without causing any trouble so David can finally give some positive feedback on her report and let her be free.

But he had thrown a new wrench into her already miserable routine. He announced, with that obnoxious grin plastered on his face, that they were now required to bring a "partner" to the sessions. Someone who can vouch for them, that they are making progress outside of the therapy session too. Someone who could act as their support system, their "anchor" in times of distress. As if she needed an anchor.

The mere thought of dragging someone else into this circus wasn't exactly unpleasing. At least she could pass her time watching them suffer.

But the problem was she didn't have a line of volunteers waiting to join her in group therapy

Enid, unsurprisingly, had refused immediately, citing her “makeup sessions” with Yoko as an excuse. Wednesday could see right through her, though. Enid’s answer wasn’t about makeup; it was about not wanting to spend her Fridays and Saturdays in a gloomy room with a bunch of disgruntled teenagers and their annoying leader. And honestly, can Wednesday blame her?

Eugene was a possibility, but he was too innocent, too eager to please. He would end up making her look ridiculous in front of the group.

Xavier would have jumped at the opportunity if he hadn’t transferred out last month, much to Wednesday’s relief. Wednesday needed someone but Xavier? Ew, Wednesday wasn't that desperate.

However, she was desperate enough to ask Bianca, who, getting the chance, mocked her before refusing her, “You got yourself in this mess, Wednesday. Surely you can get yourself out,”

That left no one. Not a single person who would willingly subject themselves to the torture of these sessions, and certainly not for her sake. But David had made it clear: no partner, no progress. And no progress meant more sessions, dragging on into the foreseeable future until she complied.

Fine. Screw Bianca. Screw this whole place, this entire ridiculous therapy group, and all its pointless exercises. There wasn’t even a single murder to investigate, no mysteries to solve, nothing to occupy her mind except these meaningless tasks assigned by the so-called professionals who think they can ‘fix’ her. Wednesday was done. Maybe she should run away again. Yes, she could slip out, make her way to Weathervane, and catch a bus to anywhere but here. No one would miss her, and she wouldn’t miss them.

Wednesday was so engrossed in her thoughts of escape that she didn’t even notice when someone approached her. It wasn’t until she heard an exasperated voice that she snapped out of it.

“Hey! Are you even listening?”

She blinked, her gaze shifting to the source of the interruption. A girl stood in front of her, arms crossed, looking more annoyed than intimidated. Wednesday’s eyebrows knit together.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Y/n.”

Wednesday raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed. “Congratulations. So what am I supposed to do with that information?”

"Ugh" you groaned “Well, I need your help,” you stated, trying to sound confident but there was an edge of uncertainty in your voice.

“No.” Wednesday didn’t even bother to ask what you needed.

“Oh, come on!” you shot back, clearly annoyed by her immediate dismissal. “At least ask what I need help with! I heard you’re quite good with these kinds of things.”

Wednesday’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What things? If you’re talking about murdering someone, then sure.”

“No, not murdering someone!” You glanced around nervously, almost mumbling. “It’s… umm… kind of like that, but not really… how do I say it…”

Wednesday cut you off with a sharp glare. “Waste my time, and you'll be the one getting murdered.”

“Okay, Jesus, calm down,” you muttered. “I need your help kidnapping someone.”

Wednesday blinked, taken aback. Her expression flickered with surprise, but it was quickly masked by her usual indifference.

"Why would you even think I’d help you? Wait, first of all why would you even think I’m qualified for this job?"

"Because you’re bored," you said plainly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You see, I missed the last few months of last year, so I missed your grand entrance and your Hyde case, but I’ve heard about your reputation. How you took down Crackstone and how you saved the school. But I know you didn’t do it for the school—you did it for the thrill. For the challenge. You like going against the system."

She hated how accurate that was. It made her uneasy, like you could see right through her. Still, she wasn’t about to admit that you were right. Instead, she said, “No,” once more and got up, ready to walk away.

“Wait, I can give you money.” you blurted out.

The audacity... Wednesday stopped in her tracks, turning to glare at you. “What on earth is wrong with you? Do you really think I’m some kind of hired goon? Someone you can just pay off?”

Your face flushed, and you quickly shook your head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It just… slipped out. Please, I really need your help. Just tell me what I have to do.”

Wednesday should have turned around and left. She should have put as much distance between herself and this ridiculous request as possible. And yet… there was something in your audacity that intrigued her. Besides, she did need a partner for her therapy sessions, and making someone else suffer through them could be mildly entertaining.

"Fine," Wednesday said, her voice low and measured. "I’ll help you, but in return—"

You didn’t even let her finish. "Okay, done, agreed."

Wednesday blinked, momentarily thrown off by your eagerness. She hadn’t even told you what you would need to do, but you didn’t seem to care. You grabbed her hand, pulling her along with you as you headed towards the main gate.

"We don’t have much time," you said hurriedly. "We need to kidnap her right now."

Wednesday stumbled slightly as you dragged her along. Why wasn't she yanking her hand back? Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Right now? Without any plan or any information?"

"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively, waving your hand as if that was a minor detail. "I’ll tell you that on the way to the asylum."

“The what?” Wednesday’s voice rose slightly.

You just kept walking, your grip on her hand firm, and for once, Wednesday found herself caught up in someone else’s madness instead of her own.

CHAPTER 2 : Her Touch

[Author's note: Celine pretty much wrote the chapter 1, I just made some changes here and there, lol it took more time for me to create the art for this project than writing this, good news is Chapter 2 and 3 are almost ready.]

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