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#but maybe that fighting was necessary for some of those people.
grimmthorne · 1 month
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I hope I'm able to let things go that have no purpose in sticking around but I hope that i don't forget what they taught me
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crownedwille · 2 years
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if young royals season 2 has a million fans i'm one of them. if young royals season 2 has ten fans, then i am one of them. if young royals season 2 has only one fan then that is me. if young royals season 2 has no fans, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world is against young royals season 2 then i am against the world
#i just felt the need to make this meme lmao#yrtalk#i love season 2 so much like i'm hyperfixaxing specifically on that one#season one is beautiful and great obviously and has a certain magic to it and i get why so many love that season#but maybe bc there was so much hype around that first season i wanna give some love to season 2#people who didn't like s2: i'm so sorry you didn't get it#and who complain about the lack of wilmon intimacy scenes and how much we get of sara and august: die mad about it i guess#no literally you didn't get it#i personally love to see wilhelm and simon separately and see them make mistakes and pine after one another#i also love their not so sweet moments when we get fights between them - both scenes in ep 5 of both seasons - they're so good#painful but necessary and they're also so good at those moments when they're not being tender and happy with each other#the conflict and arguments aren't cheap and annoying how it often can be in shows to create drama between a couple#but that's not the case with them and when it's actually important and necessary i love conflict#bc we're coming out on the other side then#it's about the growth#all the conflict was so important this season so we could get to that ending#alright that just went a little into another direction#anyway that doesn't mean you can't prefer season 1 but objectively s2 is at least just as good#maybe i'm biased bc i didn't get obsessed with yr until after s2 came out and basically binged them both together#and wasn't immediately into the show when s1 came out like almost everyone else seemed to be#young royals
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starlightbright · 4 months
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RIP Ricky September they had to kill you because it would have been unrealistic to not keep you on as a companion 😔
EDIT: I've noticed some people taking this post really seriously, so to clarify: no, I don't think Ricky was literally a perfect uwu anti-racist angel. This post was mostly a joke about how he was running around doing companion shit and, most of all, how the Doctor and Ruby both thought he was a hottie. My actual feelings about Ricky are that he's a complacent white liberal. Character reading under the cut if you want an explanation.
I do think the implications of making him unplugged from the racism bubble, paralleling him with the Doctor (man who shows up with knowledge about history and technology and guides the other character through dangerous situations), and directly contrasting to Lindy (including being open to trust the Doctor without second guessing him the same way Lindy and all her friends did) are supposed to be that he wasn't like the other people there and is thus LESS racist since racism comes to be what defines their society. I've seen some people basically ask "then why'd he move to White People City?" but within the text it's actually Rich People City; the reason everyone there is white is because systemic racism financially benefits white people. Making him LESS racist is NECESSARY to giving his death any meaning - because if he definitively would have called the Doctor a slur and walked away, then the Dot killing him quickly was a mercy kill because we KNOW all the other residents are going to die in the wilderness.
THAT SAID, I also don't think he was a progressive anti-racist. Do you know what Ricky actually is? A white liberal. He might disengage from the White People Bubble, he might not be outwardly cruel to black people, but he's still surrounded by people who are and benefits from a system where ONLY WHITE PEOPLE ARE RICH. The culture might be fucked, but he still benefits from it without doing anything to actually fight it. It's like how many a white liberal will read about the history of slavery, feel sad about it, and then be uncritical of prison labor. If Ricky was meant to be progressive, there'd be something, ANYTHING in the text about how he's tried to educate his followers on their society's problems, but it got deleted. He is COMPLACENT.
That's sort of the point, I'd say, since the theme is about how priviledged white people put themselves in a bubble of people like them and choose to look away from what's wrong in society. Those people become complacent at best with no effort to actually speak out or change things. Hell, even within the text, Ricky SEES a problem others are looking away from (the slugs eating people), but only tries to fight it by making a TikTok about it and becomes complacent again, accepting that people are just going to be eaten.
So tl;dr: no, I don't think the white liberal kid literally would have been a companion. I think if you stuck him in the Ood episode, for example, he'd have shaken his head when he found out about their plight, maybe made a TikTok with sad music playing over footage of them, and then said "welp, nothing else can be done." I think it's FUNNY to imagine another companion that the Doctor and Ruby both are giggling like schoolgirls over.
Also I kind of thought he was ugly - no offense to the actor but the makeup they had him in combined with the lighting and closeups made him look way older than 27 so he gave off this uncanny "how do you do fellow kids?" look.
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strawbuddy-luv · 3 days
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Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)
Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"
Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"
Tim: "...Ok?"
Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "
Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."
Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."
Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"
Dick: "...yeah..."
-----
Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."
Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."
Steph: "..."
Tim: "...What-?"
Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"
Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."
Steph: :...What-"
-----
Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-
Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"
Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-
Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...
Your fucking what-"
-----
Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"
Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"
Bruce: "...N-"
Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."
Bruce: "You-"
Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"
Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"
Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."
Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."
Steph: "Yeah bu-"
Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."
Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"
Bruce: "Tim."
The entire table: "..."
Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"
Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"
Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"
Tim: "...
I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"
Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."
Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"
Dick: "The what-"
Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"
The Table: "..."
Steph: "WHAT-"
Dick: "You do-?!"
Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"
Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"
Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"
Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"
Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"
Dick: "...
OHHHHHH-"
Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"
Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"
Tim: "I'm trans."
Jason: "...That's-
Yeah
Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."
Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"
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the-tarot-witch22 · 20 days
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Messages from your Higher Self - Pick a pile
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Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
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My Paid Readings | My insta
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
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Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - the hermit, queen of wands and the moon)
Okay so the very first thing I feel and hear is, your higher is very self accomplished as well as happy within themself , they found the very thing they want, their love for themself, they stand up for themself, they fight without hesitating for themselves and their loved ones, your higher self is also very selective on who they let into their lives, they re vary of people at first and only trust after they know them, your higher self seems to be at peace, they like their alone time a lot, they value and love themselves, their might be something important happening in winter weather their just something about that, was so prominent, but anyways, their might be a period of darkness in your life, where you felt alone with the people, or they were just not for you but I see it getting better for you in future, you seem to be finding yourself and your light, i see lots of laughter and happiness in your life, you might be entering into your power era "bad ass vibe", going out of your comfort zone doing things you really like and enjoy, i see you being more confident in your body and self image, your higher self is also very sexy and seductive very confident but also a bit mysterious not letting anything get to them, and only opening up when it's necessary, your higher self is also very transformed. I also feel your higher self is very intuitive and have psychic powers which they are working on to enhance, They did not tell me everything, they just said "stick around and find out", "keep going and don't give up", I also feel your higher self is way more matured, very gentle and kind!
Okay so that's it pile 1, i loved reading for you, such beautiful reassuring messages for you! I just wanna say love yourself and live your life to the fullest~
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - 4 of wands, knight of pentacles, page of cups and 9 of pentacles)
Okay so the very first thing i hear is "wedding bells" gosh what a opening to the reading, isn't it? so cute, but anyways let's focus, okay so i feel your higher self is very happily married with the love of your life, i see someone with nothing but tears of joy! 11:11, 1111, 22:22, 2222, 444, are some angel numbers i keep hearing so it might be of importance to you, maybe you see these numbers quite a lot from past few days, I heard your higher self say, we are, where we supposed to be, such a reassuring message for you pile 2, you higher self seems content with themself and their choices, i also heard "there might some blockages happened , but those are just hurdles, and you will pass them", here another message that your higher seems very successful! Your higher self seems loved and admired from people close, there might be someone with bad intentions but i see you guys being careful, your higher self said "only trust the ones, if your gut says so", there might be a big reunion or gathering of sort for you guys, and they enjoyed that, a graduation? or just some celebration, but yeah!, I also feel your higher self climbed the ladder of success and money, they have everything, they seem happy, but i also see a bit of materialistic vibes from this group, i also heard "luxury", so your higher self seems to be worked for it, and they bought the things they love, this group might also be very independent, and have to grow very early mature beyond their years type of vibe, but i see you got the "i am gonna do it for you, let me do it for you husband/wife", your struggles seems to be paid of, your higher self is also very proud of your growth, for some of you i got flirty vibes even tho you are not trying to be lol x, very young at heart, your higher self seems to be very happy and travelled a lot, they are working or studying abroad , or just travelling there, your higher self is so sweet, telling me everything gently, i love that!
That's all pile 2, your higher self seems very sweet and matured, and plus they are happy with you and your growth! The messages are so sweet, i just want to remind you guys "you are beautiful"!
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - knight of pentacles, the magician and queen of cups)
Okay so the first thing i heard and feel for you guys is you guys seems to be very comfy and relaxed, your higher self is taking it easy one step at the time, i also heard "don't doom scroll too much", "time is important", I also feel your higher self is taking care of their health a lot, working out going to gym , yoga, dance classes, i also heard "you have potential , do use it, be not afraid to fail", your higher self is also quite grown, like became wise, "i heard - some lessons were important to go through", i feel they are also telling you that past and mistakes, were not entirely your fault, even if it was and you learnt from that, i get friendly vibes from you guys and as well your higher self, so adorable lol, anyways, your higher self is very self accomplished, just like pile 1, i feel there might be messages for you so do check that pile too, your higher self has a good stable job career, i am getting earth and fire sign vibes from this pile, especially Capricorn sun and Sagittarius sun/rising, I also feel your higher self is very passionate!, you higher self seems to be working hard for their goals too, and using their skills for their own and their career, i also heard "infinite abundance", this could indicate you living a good life! very stable and fulfilling life, you guys, your higher self is also very satisfied~, i also feel your higher self is more emotionally mature or express themself without the fear of judgement! you and your higher self seems so nurturing and caring, i also feel your higher self has a pet, like a life long dream and you finally adopt one!
That's all pile 3, amazing and sweet messages from your higher self, love that for you~
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Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
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gicosmo · 2 months
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When They Neglect You Pt.1
One Piece Men(Luffy, Shanks, Mihawk, Corazon)
Warnings: Neglect, A bit a toxicity on Mihawk’s part, Corazon being a stressed, Doflamingo(he deserves his own warning), Just overall angst for this first part :((
This is my first time writing for One Piece characters lol. I’m sorry if any of them are ooc😔Part 2
Luffy
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You knew Luffy would never intentionally ignore you. Let alone neglect the whole relationship. But that didn’t stop the pang in your chest when you realized you weren’t spending as much time with him.
Walking around on an island, the town was bustling with people. The crew finally had some air to breathe after continuous battles. Finally, you thought you had a chance to be close with your boyfriend again. Reaching for his hand to hold, he suddenly stops, snatching his hand away from yours.
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt your feelings. It hurt. A lot.
“Looks like we’re fighting again.” Luffy chuckles, cracking his knuckles with a sly smile. Zoro huffed, readying his sword by his side. Sanji sighed, “Do we ever catch a break?”
“Luffy—”
“Sorry! Not now!” Luffy replied ever so quickly before jumping straight into fighting. Even though it was a moment to fight, a hurt feeling still rose in your heart.
You felt like you were overreacting… Or maybe this was just the result of being constantly pushed aside, regardless if intentional or not?
Shanks
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Sadly, it wouldn’t be the first time Shanks had neglected the relationship. And it definitely won’t be the last.
But this incident ticked you off to the max. After sailing to an island, Shanks had conducted his usual business. After he was done, of course the crew had to celebrate(even when it wasn’t really necessary).
In the bar the crew cheered and laughed. The overall vibe was positive, nothing but smiles plastered on everyone’s faces. Well… Everyone except you. Throughout the night you had tried getting Shanks’ attention, but his attention was always elsewhere.
You were moping in the corner, your brow twitching in irritation. After a while, Beckman made his way over to you with a soft smile,
“Someone’s upset.” He chuckled.
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” You sighed, rubbing your temples. Beckman just shook his head with a smile, “When is it never.” He grabbed a chair, sitting next to you, “Go on. Tell me what he did this time.”
You laughed. Beckman always had to be the peacemaker, “It’s what he always does, Beck. Every time I want a bit of his attention, it’s always elsewhere.” You sighed as you looked up, the sight you saw sending you over the edge.
There Shanks was, chatting it up with someone else. Being a bit too friendly for your liking. Beckman followed your gaze, immediately mentally face palming. He was about to speak but you had already left the bar.
All Beckman could do was sigh and shake his head. Seems like he had to be the one to make peace. Again.
Mihawk
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Your relationship with Mihawk was nothing but bliss. Everybody around you would be shocked to hear of such a sweet relationship ever happening with such an apathetic man like him. But he loved you… Or so you thought?
When Zoro and Perona lived with you both for two years, your relationship did have its moments of distance. Mainly due to Mihawk helping with training for Zoro and you doing your duties that you usually did.
You both knew having two strangers, two strangers that were practically your guy’s children during those two years, would put some type of strain on the relationship. But you both silently agreed that you both always found a way to make things work.
When Zoro and Perona left, you couldn’t lie about the slight emptiness that filled the castle. The only upside was now you could be close with your lover again. Well, you thought that was supposed to be an upside, only it didn’t happen.
“I’m busy.” Mihawk spoke with little to no interest, not even sparing you a glance as he read the newspaper. You crossed your arms, glaring at him, “Mihawk, it’s been weeks since those two left and you still haven’t at least tried to put some effort into our relationship again?”
Mihawk sighed, a sigh you knew all too well,
“I honestly don’t understand what you’re getting upset about.”
“And I honestly don’t know who you’re talking to right now.” You snapped back rather quickly. Mihawk placed his newspaper down, standing up and staring you down, “You’ve never been this much of a pain before. We were and are quite fine.”
Your mouth fell open in shock. He thought the relationship was… Fine? You immediately scoffed, “Oh? So you think us being distant from one another is fine?”
“I liked it when you weren’t a nagging brat.”
“I’m nagging now? Seriously?”
All you could do was shake your head. Not bearing to hear whatever else he had to say, you immediately stormed off.
Little did Mihawk know, you got on a boat and left. You didn’t know where you were going, but anywhere was better than being with someone who clearly didn’t care for you anymore.
Corazon
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Corazon was also someone who wouldn’t intentionally neglect you. Your relationship was a secret from the Donquixote family, more specifically, Doflamingo.
Corazon and you took a liking to one another. You didn’t care that he was mute, well, you thought he was mute until he revealed who he really was to you one day. That faithful day solidified your relationship. He couldn’t have been any happier.
What he wasn’t happy about, however, was Doflamingo’s ever so obvious liking to you. Countless times he had to sit there and witness his brothers constant flirts and rather interesting remarks about you. The whole thing made his blood boil.
Everything changed when Law came into the picture. Corazon made it his mission to save him, and you, of course, tagged along on said mission. You really didn’t have a choice since Corazon wouldn’t dare leave you alone with his brother.
Going from hospital to hospital was stressful for everyone. Corazon witnessing how horrible society really was irked him day by day. He slowly began to lose hope, but didn’t show it much. But you knew better than that.
Day by day, he would pull away from you. In all honesty, you barely noticed it since you were so busy comforting Law. It was one day when Law was sleeping, you went to talk about your frustrations to Corazon only for his responses to be short. If you even got a response, that is.
Of course you were hurt, but you understood. This whole thing was stressful on everyone. You could keep your feelings to yourself or find other ways to let out your frustrations.
But you couldn’t.
Law thankfully had comfort from you. Corazon found comfort in occasionally smoking and sometimes maybe a drink or two. You? You had nothing.
You wanted nothing more but the love from your partner… But you felt selfish for wanting that when you all had more important things to worry about.
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mcflymemes · 2 months
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TREASURE PLANET (2002) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the disney film, adjust as necessary
you're gonna rattle the stars.
now you listen to me, [name]. you got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course.
look at you, glowing like a solar fire.
you're something special, [name].
let me make this as... monosyllabic as possible.
how did i describe them?
i said something rather good this morning before coffee.
there you go. poetry.
i'm an astronomer, not a doctor!
i am a doctor, but i'm not that kind of doctor. i have a doctorate. it's not the same thing. you can't help people with a doctorate.
you just sit there and you're useless.
i won't bore you with my scars.
oh shut up. you know i don't mean a word of it.
i'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes.
you have wonderful eyes.
yes, you. i have a question.
is it that your body is too massive for your teeny-tiny head, or is it that your head is too teeny-tiny for your big fat body?
i have one more question.
is this yours?
well, this has been a fun day.
without the map, we're dead.
if we try to leave, we're dead.
what a joke.
at least you taught me something.
that's just what i'm gonna do.
you still don't know how to pick your fights.
are you saying this because it's the right thing, or because you really want to go?
playing games, are we?
thanks for the lift, guys.
don't mention it.
this is the answer to all our problems!
don't you remember? all those stories?
would you please explain how ridiculous this is?
it's totally preposterous! traversing the galaxy alone!
now at last we hear some sense.
you flatter me, [name].
i feel like such a useless weakling.
stay out of trouble!
that was more fun than i ever want to have again.
so... uh. how'd that happen anyway?
i've got two new friends i'd like you to meet.
are your parents around?
i've got some plans to make people see me a little different.
sometimes plans go astray.
you take care now.
this should be a wonderful opportunity for the two of us to get to know one another.
with the greatest possible respect, zip your howling screamer.
we're about to get under way!
i'll follow you.
you know the rules.
maybe your ears don't work so well.
i just don't want to see you throw away your entire future.
i don't know how you manage it.
did you actually aim for that?
what is all this stuff?
wait wait wait! what about the treasure?
i don't want to lose you.
i'll make you proud.
i'm sorry, my memory isn't what it used to be.
i say we kill them all now.
all my life, i've been waiting for an opportunity like this.
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moorishflower · 2 months
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Hey just so you know if you start reblogging shit about how Trump is now definitely gonna win the election and all hope is lost and so why bother trying anything, I'm unfollowing you. I might like you personally, but if your response to that shooting is to just give up and assume the election is a foregone conclusion, you maybe need to do some self-examination about why you feel it necessary to spread further despair instead of using that energy as a galvanizing force for hope or, at the very least (if you feel you have no energy left to fight) not spreading posts that will further demoralize the people who are still fighting.
It is in the best interest of Donald Trump that people who dislike him lose hope and don't turn out to vote because "it doesn't matter," because "Biden is a warmonger," because "nothing ever changes," when we have copious amounts of evidence that things have changed, and Biden has been very quietly and patiently unraveling the tangle of shit that Trump left behind in his first (and G-d willing only) term. The United States are not in a position where huge and radical change is possible at the moment. The country is too large, the states too fragmented, the system of government too spread-out. There is no one entity that can be "overthrown" in order to effect immediate change.
So maybe instead of demanding radical and immediate change that isn't possible, and then whining and moaning when you never get it, maybe do what you can to not spread fear and despair through those who are trying to fight for small, incremental changes.
Me, I'm gonna vote. And I'm gonna bother everyone I know who's 18-26 or so to vote Blue down the ticket, because young voter turnout has historically always been good for the Democratic party.
So yeah. Maybe do some soul-searching. Maybe instead of looking at news you should go for a walk. But also, maybe, stop spreading posts about how the election is in the bag for Trump, because it isn't. There's four months left. There is still time.
Go out and vote. Even if it feels hopeless to you. The least complex of animals will keep fighting even if death seems certain to them, and so should we.
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yusiyomogi · 23 days
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mithrun as a character doesn't have his own pov in the story, and i think this is the main reason why interpretations of his actions may differ so much. it was a conscious choice to write him that way, we're supposed to see him as a bit of a mystery and figure out what's going on with him. but i think it's fascinating how it also makes him a divisive character.
there are only a few instances where we get a brief look into his mind. one of my favorites is in the gift exchange extra with this short but interesting narration:
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it's not really canon or anything, but kui is very consistent in how she writes her characters, even in silly extras like this. and here we can see a bit of a mithrun's thought process and it's surprisingly revealing. he participates in the event and even wants to buy a book token, which is a simple but reasonable gift. but when he learns that he can't get them anymore, instead of trying to think about another gift, he simply puts some money in the envelope. the same idea in his mind probably, you can still buy a book with money of course. or maybe he simply gave up. rin, who gets that envelope as a gift, see this as extremely lazy and callous, since from her pov he didn't think about gift at all.
and i think a lot of mithrun's actions in the main story have the same effect on the readers, because we never see his pov. in some instances, it's obvious that he tries, despite his condition. in some instances, it doesn't look like he tries at all. in some instances, it's not obvious that he tries, but he still tries.
i think, the way every reader looks at those moments eventually determines how they will perceive mithrun as a character, including his personality and morality.
case 1. mithrun ruthlessly fights a bunch of guys who want to kill his squad and kabru. he teleports them all into walls, leaving only stone statues behind. while the narrative doesn't put focus on this, the shapes of those statues reveal that mithrun left each person's face unobstructed, so they can breathe even while being stuck in a wall. why would he do it like that? surely it requires a lot of precision to teleport people like that. was he following some orders, maybe to not kill civilians or was it his own decision?
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case 2. as a giant mushroom attacks a crowd of adventurers, filling the air with mind-numbing spores, mithrun declines any help from his squad. he attacks the mushroom himself and, surprisingly, teleports it on another level completely, into the water instead of stone. all the water he teleported as a replacement washes over the crowd and we can see that some of the people start gaining consciousness again. canaries laugh at his unexpected move. why would he waste mana on this? was it necessary to drown the mushroom or did he actually want to get all that water? was it just a part of his plan to find thistle or did he try to help those adventurers?
case 3. this one is something most interpretations agree on, so i won't focus on this too much. mithrun always tries to negotiate with other dungeon lords instead of killing them immediately, even though it's more dangerous. mithrun isn't particularly good at talking, but he says what he believes they need to hear. it's something that even kabru found surprising the first time it happened. was it something that mithrun had to do as part of his job? or was it something he personally wanted to do? why he always tries but gives up so quickly and attacks them anyway? is he being lazy and callous?
case 4. after chimera falin attacks him, mithrun teleports a stone above her head and it hits her. then he starts calmly talking to her, holding his hand on another stone, basically threatening to kill her if she doesn't move. even people from his own squad are unsure what his plan was: did he miss on accident or was it intentional? why would he want to keep her alive? was he simply afraid she's gonna crush thistle or did he actually see her as a person and didn't wanna kill her?
case 5. after spending a few days with kabru, mithrun goes from using him as an improvised projectile against monsters to putting himself between kabru and monsters. was this just a coincidence or mithrun started to care about his companion?
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case 6. when laios becomes dungeon lord and everything seems to fall apart, kabru loses his composure and starts questioning if it was all his fault and what was even the purpose of his survival. mithrun interrupts him by slapping his face. after a few moments he continues to attack him and it turns into a small fight. what was the purpose of this slap? did mithrun genuinely want to interrupt kabru's panic episode? why would mithrun then attack him again? was he still angry at kabru for stopping him and making him trust laios or was he angry that kabru didn't follow his plan?
i could probably find other examples like this, but pretty much every scene with him can be interpreted at least in two different ways. in the end, your choice to see his personality in positive or negative light depends on how you read those moments. mithrun's main symbol throughout the story is the mirror and i think it's interesting that until chapter 94 what every reader see in him is basically a reflection of their own ideas. you can't really look through the mirror, you can only see yourself. and only chapter 94 finally gives us a clear look through that mirror and it certainly doesn't answer every question.
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uyuforu · 7 months
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Boda Asteroid Aspects
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Boda (1487) is an asteroid discovered in 1938 by Karl Willhelm Reinmuth in Germany. It was named this way after Karl Boda. Boda in Spanish means "wedding", so it was natural for this asteroid to represent that. Boda is an asteroid we look at when we want to know more about what kind of wedding one will have. The Boda Persona Chart also means the same thing, and it gives more details about one's special day.
Please remember than one bad aspects doesn't necessary means it will be bad. Nothing is perfect. Some aspects can save others, and placements too.
Instructions:
For Boda PC: Check Sun & Boda for those aspects.
For Natal Chart, Juno, Groom, Briede PC: Check Boda for those aspects.
Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules
Boda by Signs, Houses, Degrees
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Good Aspects
* Conjunct, Semi-Sextile, Sextile, Trine
જ⁀➴ Sun: Ignore for Boda PC. For Natal Chart, you could feel like the main character at your wedding, and you could feel like your wedding really is about you. You could feel really in tune at your own wedding, and it could look exactly how you wished it would. For Juno, Groom/ Briede PC, your spouse could feel like the main character during your wedding. The wedding could also look exactly the way they imagined.
જ⁀➴ Moon: The wedding can be very emotional, people could cry a lot, a very familial wedding too. Mother or mother-in-law could be very invested in the wedding. People could be very attached to the wedding emotionally. People are happy to be here.
જ⁀➴ Mercury: People are chatty during the wedding, people could laugh a lot and have a good time. People talk to each other, there is not fight but mostly good speeches and good jokes around. Communication is clear too.
જ⁀➴ Venus: A very romantic wedding, you could feel very in touch with your loved ones and spouse during the wedding. It is a love wedding. Romance at its fullest. You could often demonstrate your love for your spouse during the ceremony and party.
જ⁀➴ Mars: A very fun wedding, the party can go wild. People can dance a lot, and move a lot, meaning people are actually energized by the wedding and aren't just staying seated. People can cheer the wedding a lot. You could feel very motivated to do your wedding, you can also want to celebrate as soon as possible. People could be excited about the wedding too.
જ⁀➴ Jupiter: A very lucky wedding, people can be very happy to be there. They could be very joyful and are very happy. You could also feel lucky about your wedding, maybe you got lucky for the dates you wanted for example. You could feel happy to get married. You may spent money on your wedding too. Opportunity to celebrate it in foreign lands.
જ⁀➴ Saturn: You could want to take your time to organize your wedding. Your wedding could be celebrated for some times. You could mark people's mind for a while with your wedding, in a good way. People could talk about it after and still express how fun it was. It could also mean your wedding party will last long until the morning for example.
જ⁀➴ Uranus: The Wedding could be very original, avant-garde and it could be also revolutionary. People could be amazed by all the original ideas you had. People can also feel inspired by your wedding. You could have a wedding in foreign lands. Your wedding could change your guests, transform them. But it can also transform you and your spouse.
જ⁀➴ Neptune: Your wedding could look very dreamy. It could look like a fairytale, a dream. You could feel like your achieve your dream wedding. People at your wedding may be emotional and they could cry at how beautiful your wedding is.
જ⁀➴ Pluto: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse in a good way. It could be the new beginning of something for both of you. It could also be well transformative for people.
જ⁀➴ Rising: You could look very in tune with your wedding, the wedding could look in your aesthetic, you fit well in it. The wedding does look like yours, and people recognize your style in the wedding.
જ⁀➴ IC: You may celebrate your wedding in your homeland. Family is there. The wedding could have a lot of memories from your childhood, or something feels nostalgic about it. A lot of children could also be there. You could feel close to your family during your wedding.
જ⁀➴ DSC: Your wedding could look exactly how you wanted it to look like. You could also feel like you are marrying your dream person. You could feel like you and your spouse are the most important people there, it's your day, your moment. You could only truly care about them.
જ⁀➴ MC: Popular wedding! The wedding could also look very good, and it could have a good reputation. People will still talk about your wedding as one of the best ever. It could also become famous perhaps on social media too.
જ⁀➴ Vertex: Your wedding will transform you and your spouse. It could be a major event in your life. You could also have been destined to marry. It could have been part of your Soul contract.
જ⁀➴ North Node: Destined wedding. Your wedding could be part of your soul purpose.
જ⁀➴ Chiron: Your wedding will heal your traumas, and triggers. If you were scared or something happening at your wedding, you will soon see there is nothing to worry about.
જ⁀➴ Juno: You could feel like you are marrying the love of your life. Your wedding could be very romantic, and it may feel like a fairytale to you.
જ⁀➴ Asteroid Groom (5129)/ Briede (19029): You could be very in tune with your spouse, you guys could have a good communication during the wedding. You could have good moments with them and you could feel very happy. You could also feel very much in your own bubble.
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Bad Aspects
*Square, Quincunx, (Opposite)*
*Opposite to me is a pretty neutral aspect, I don't necessarily see it as a "bad" aspect, so take it lightly if you have oppositions
જ⁀➴ Sun: Ignore for Boda PC. For the Natal Chart, this could mean you feel like there is something wrong with the wedding. It could not be the wedding you expected, or you could feel invisible at your own wedding. For Juno, Groom/ Briede, it's your spouse who feel left out of the wedding. They could also feel like the wedding doesn't suit them or it is not what they expected.
જ⁀➴ Moon: Mother or Mother-In-Law are too attached to the wedding, and may want to control it, taking decisions and not asking for your opinion. People can cry a lot, maybe a bit too much. Family members could come but there could be drama related to them. Moody people can also be there. You could also be moody or just too much emotional during your wedding.
જ⁀➴ Mercury: Communication is not clear at all, it's messy, people will maybe not listen much. Gossips can take place, and some people can speak sh*t about the wedding. Speeches can be a mess. People may not talk much to each other during the wedding. You could also not communicate well or not enough during the wedding which causes problems.
જ⁀➴ Venus: Romance is not so present, you could not want to also make a super romantic wedding. It can just be that you are not comfortable with showing off your love, and you prefer to keep certain things private. The wedding could also not be a love wedding. You could feel also a cold atmosphere during your wedding day. Doesn't have to but it can be.
જ⁀➴ Mars: People can actually not be that excited about the wedding. The could not dance much during the party and not be that energized either. They can sit all along. You could also not have much motivation to organize your wedding, and you could let someone else do it or pay people to do most of the stuff for you. You could also have fights and arguments with people during your wedding. People could also create a fight or an argument.
જ⁀➴ Jupiter: You could spend a lot of money on your wedding too, but it may be something that you don't like or it stresses you out. You may feel out of luck about event of your wedding. You may struggle to make your wedding happen or with the organization of it. There could be some conflicts or problems related with the guests.
જ⁀➴ Saturn: Your wedding could take a lot of times to be organized, and it can go slower than what you wish. The wedding party could also last for too long, and it could become a burden. Your wedding could also being remembered for being boring or too long. It could be remembered for the bad reasons. There could also have a lot of obstacles during your wedding.
જ⁀➴ Uranus: Your wedding could be revolutionary in a bad aspect, it can shock people for example. Your wedding could also not be that different or original from other weddings. It doesn't have much impacts on people.
જ⁀➴ Neptune: Your wedding could be full of illusions. You could have had certain ideas for your wedding and in the end you need to give those up because you can't achieve them. It could also mean some people can drink too much alcohol at your wedding, and in the worst cases, drugs could also be used. It could also mean, again in worst case scenario, that your wedding turns into a nightmare. People could also cry a lot and be moody, arguments and fights could happen.
જ⁀➴ Pluto: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse, but also your guests but in a negative way. It could be a catalyst in your life.
જ⁀➴ Rising: You may have a certain style at your wedding, and it could have an aesthetic that does not belong to you. You could actually not fit well in this style, and people could feel like your wedding doesn't seem like yours, in a way that it doesn't look like you.
જ⁀➴ IC: You could feel like your wedding is not familiar to you, or the wedding is not happening in your homeland. Some family members could not wish to come, or you could have a fight with some before the wedding.
જ⁀➴ DSC: Your wedding will maybe not exactly look like how you wish it could look. You and your spouse could have an argument, or some differences during the wedding.
જ⁀➴ MC: Your wedding could not have much impacts on people. Worst case scenario, people could talk about it like it was a bad wedding, or they could make fun of it. People could also remember your wedding for the bad reasons, or a drama that happened.
જ⁀➴ Vertex: Your wedding could transform you and your spouse in a negative way. You were fated to get married. It may be part of your Soul contract.
જ⁀➴ North Node: Destined wedding. Your wedding could be part of your soul purpose.
જ⁀➴ Chiron: There could be triggers at your wedding, or something may recall a trauma to you. Perhaps your wedding could also create new traumas or triggers to you. It could also mean you could be quite stressed or anxious about your wedding for a certain reason.
જ⁀➴ Juno: You could feel like your wedding lack romance, or perhaps you didn't want to make too much out of it. So your wedding could not considered as very romantic.
જ⁀➴ Asteroid Groom (5129)/ Briede (19029): You could be out of tune with your spouse during the wedding. It could also be a sign of bad communication during your wedding. You could argue or have a fight, a disagreement during your wedding.
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Thank you for reading!
back to index ; ask ; request ; rules
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elinoracia · 1 year
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⁑ They see you cry for the first time// Hogwarts legacy characters reactions x reader ⁑
~ Hogwarts Legacy headcanons ~
Warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, use of Y/N, mention of death and blood, swearing (censored), Leander jumpscare. Pairings: Sebastian x reader, Ominis x reader, Garreth x reader, Amit x reader, Poppy x reader, Natty x reader, Imelda x reader, Leander x reader.
Feel free to request anything!
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Context: Even after Professor Fig's death, even under great pressure and no matter the situation, you never let your friends saw you crack. Not even a single tear. You were trying really hard to hide your pain and sadness. But it had to come out one day... After fighting against some poachers with your companion, they almost killed him/her. After you saved him/her, you finally broke down. You thought you lost him/her too. You couldn't control your tears. (Pre-relationship)
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THEIR REACTION :
Sebastian:
He gets up and dusts himself off without noticing how devasted you were at first.
"It seems like I'm the one who's in your debt now. I owe you- Y/N? Are you crying?"
He almost runs to you the moment he notices.
"What is wrong? Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Tell me!"
He is extremely worried. He doesn't know why you're crying. When you explain to him you were really afraid of losing him like you lost so many people in your life, he got really quiet for a moment.
"You'll never lose me. We're a team, the best team even. If we stick together and protect eachother, nothing could ever happen to one of us. Besides, I am an excellent duellist!... Look at me Y/N..."
He lifts your chin up to make you meet his gaze. You could see how concerned he was. He wipes away some of your tears with his fingers.
"I'll be the one protecting you next time." You could feel he wasn't only talking about duels or battles...
He is not really good with words so he will go out of his way to try to cheer you up for the rest of the day. He will pick little flowers for you and bring you sweets.
"I'm not great with words but I surely can listen! Please come to me if you want to talk..or if you need a big bear hug! I'm also good with those."
Would hug you very tightly for as long as you need.
Ominis:
He will notice almost immediately when you start crying. He felt your breath pattern change and he heard you slightly sniffle.
"Y/N, may I ask what's troubling you? It's very unlike you to be this upset. I'm worried. Are you hurt perhaps?"
You then explain how scared you were. You feel like you almost lost him too.
He stays silent. He goes to reach for your hand and holds it.
He usually never lets anyone holds his hand because he doesn't feel like he is in need of any guidance and doesn't think it is ever necessary. But he is making an exception to comfort you.
"I appologize for making you worry that much about my safety. But I am still here...thanks to you."
You both make it back to Howarts and he refuses to let go of your hand.
"As you may already know, I am a great listener. I am always available if you feel the need to talk about anything."
"Your safety is also truly important to me. I just want to make sure you do not feel like what happened to you or anyone is your fault."
He really wants to make sure you're feeling better before letting your hand go.
He doesn't care if people can see him holding your hand. All that matters at this moment is you.
"Take your time Y/N. I'll stay for as long as you need me to."
Garreth:
He is very oblivious about the situation. You turn your head to not face him so he couldn't see your tears. But you feel your shoulders shake.
When he notices how your demeanor changed, he just wonders if you were tired or maybe hurt.
"Y/N? Are you alright? I have some Wiggenweld potions if you need any. I even brew them myself."
You try to explain to him how you felt. You couldn't contain your tears. Those poachers almost killed him in front of your eyes... You see his eyes widen.
"Y/N...Please don't cry. I'm fine, look! Please... I hate when I can't see your pretty smile."
He will almost instantly take you in his arms and give you a hug. He will also gently carress your head as he tries to make you smile or laugh.
"Come on Y/N, you usually always laugh at that joke! Smile for your best bud...please."
He will not leave you alone until you feel better.
"Trust me, I think you might need some of that famous Gryffindor courage, chivalry, and determination to make you feel better! You're in luck, I have all of the above!"
He will not leave you for the rest of the day. And if anyone tries to talk to you, he will tell them you need to rest. He wouldn't want you to feel too overwhelmed.
"There it is! There is your pretty smile. Do you feel a bit better now?"
Amit:
After the battle against the poachers, his first instinct will be to check on you, even he was the one who almost died. He'll quickly notice you feel upset.
"Y/N what is wrong? Please don't cry...I'm here for you."
You explained how unbearable the thought of almost losing him too was. You explained how much it breaks you.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know how much that impacted you. I should have known. But I'm here for you now. Don't be ashamed to cry in front of me. I'm here..."
As you're crying, he gently rubs your back and hands you his handkerchief. He stays next to you until you finish crying. Then he will talk to you for a while.
"I hope you know you don't have to hide your emotions from me anymore. I still think you're incredibly strong. You're so wonderful Y/N, truly."
He'll almost force you to go get some rest for the rest of the day.
"Please, let me bring you back to your dorms. You need to rest. I'll warn your teachers about your absence, they'll understand. I'll give you the notes I took during class, I insist on that."
He'll walk you back to your dorms like the gentleman he is. He'll make sure you don't have to worry about anything else for the rest of the day.
He will bring some food to you so you don't forget to eat. It's not just an excuse to come to see you and check on you, not at all really
He will try to be more careful about what he does. He doesn't want to worry you.
Poppy:
She almost cries first. The situation really shook her. But when she notices you crying, she focuses all her attention on you.
"Y/N! Please tell me you're not hurt! I'm here, I'm okay, you're okay. Take a deep breath."
You try explaining to her through your heavy sobs how afraid you were to lose her too.
"Don't be silly, I'll always be right next to you, no matter how annoying it can be. They can't possibly get rid of me that easily when you're with me Y/N. That's what makes you such an amazing person... You're always so selfless."
She takes you in her arms. Nobody can possibly make her let go of you.
"I'm so sorry you went through all of that... but you will never lose me."
She makes you take deep breaths and do breathing exercises until you calm down a little.
"Do you feel better? Do you need me to bring you something? Water? Food? Anything? Let me go get that for you!"
You could ask her for anything and she'll RUN to get them for you.
"Don't worry, it's okay to cry. Sometimes I cry too! It doesn't make you weak or anything of the sort! Your tears mean you feel deeply and that's a good thing!"
She'll make sure that you're not alone, not a single second, for the rest of the day. She has to make sure you feel supported.
Natty:
She is very attentive to what is happening around her. So it doesn't take her long to notice your muffled sobs you were trying to hide.
"Y/N, what's wrong? I'm here with you, you can tell me about it."
She tries to stay very calm. She wouldn't want to stress you out more than you already are.
As you explain to her how you felt about losing her too and the fear of her being killed, you can notice how concerned she looks. She sadly knows that feeling all too well.
"I want to support you in any way you need. You are not alone. I...I know how you feel."
She'll make you sit next to her. She will let you cry it out while she hold your hand and softly rubs it with her thumb.
"This is really hard for you, I understand. I will help you work it out. I'll never leave you Y/N. You'll never lose me, I hope you know that."
She'll hand you tissues as she listens to you attentively.
"Is there anything I can do to help? I would do anything to help you feel better."
She is ready to do anything you want. It really hurts her to see you go through what she went through.
Following this incident, you can be sure she will regularly check on you.
Imelda:
She is panting as she tries to get up. She is just glad she didn't die. It was a close-call. When she turns to look at you, she is surprised to see you so upset.
"Y/N? Why are you crying? We won! You beat them all! It could be so much worse, I almost died."
You explain how the though of losing her the way you lost so many people scares you. Your tears are flowing on your cheeks.
"I'm not...that big of a deal. If I knew you were going to cry over me, I would have been more careful... Please...Y/N..."
She slowly pats your back, not really knowing what to do or what to say.
"Hey Y/N, it's okay, I'm still here. And even if one day I die, I'm sure you'll figure out something crazy like usual and resurrect me or something like that. You're that powerful, I'm sure of it. But let's not think about it just yet!"
She usually would NEVER hug anyone but she'll hug you if you ask her. She will complain but she'll still do it for you.
"Hugh! So needy! Just don't hold me too tight, I can't escape death twice in a row. There there, I'm here."
Deep down she enjoys being the one you're worried about. She would never admit it though.
"Don't tell anyone we hugged or I'll never hug you again."
Leander:
He only thinks about himself at first. He almost died and couldn't believe he was still here.
"Holy sh*t you saved me! Y/N... it was crazy. I-... Are you crying?"
You tell him how afraid you were about losing him too. You couldn't bear the thought of him dying.
"Oh...I- hum..."
He doesn't have a single clue how to comfort you. He is very ankward and clumsy with his words. He means well though.
He's the kind of person to not think before he talks.
"Y/N...look at me. I...hum...your tears are beautiful...S-Sorry I just blurt out random things when I'm nervous. But I'm here..."
He'll ankwardly hug you and pat your head.
"It's alright Y/N...Do you want my scarf? You're always begging me to give it to you so you can wear it. Here, take it."
He gives you his scarf you puts it around your neck. It feels strangely comforting.
"You can wipe your tears with it if you want. It's yours now. Red suits you much better anyway."
You burry your face in his chest and hug him tighter.
"I hope it's not just an excuse because you don't need to do that if you really needed a hug from me that bad. I'll hug you everyday if you insist."
In a weird way, his teasing makes you feel a bit better.
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brujaluas · 5 months
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Your feminine rage
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This will be a special reading, for those who follow my work you know that I have never made so many options but I felt the need to make 6, everything is very fragile and delicate in these piles, be careful, take a deep breath, it is a sensitive topic
I want you to know that it may seem superficial, but I really feel the energy of some here and I have a lot of affection and love for you, especially I'm feeling the energy of the new viewers haha stay well
everthing about my paid readings and spells
pile 1
What can I say about these people who connected with this pile?; you have a lot to work on, I see that they are rough diamonds that in some circumstances need to be polished, but here is the issue, you don't want to, you are reluctant about this issue, everything is very intense, very brutal for you, maybe it was yours creation, some here were their own children, they took the lead before everyone else, they are very independent, you don't look back, you don't apologize, you have a fire inside you, but be careful not to burn yourself, know how to regulate this intensity.;
pile 2
Maybe you are the youngest, there is a very youthful energy here, an energy you have when you are a teenager and think you can fight the world without fear, you are unstable, you need to think more before acting, impulsiveness can be a wild thing , but be careful because there are things that require some planning, but what am I saying?; You may have already packed your things and left, there's no time for you, rebellious and young heart.;
pile 3
solitude or solitude These two words flash through your head all the time, every day, every week, most people deal with some kind of addiction or obsession along the way. You are wanting to stay clean and free from this, which is a good start, addictions are difficult to deal with, but for that to happen, I see that it is necessary to move away from people you used to spend a lot of time with, bad company, perhaps?
pile 4
I understand why you chose the black swan, you can face very intense emotional and even physical challenges, perhaps due to some profession or personal achievement, you push yourself to the limit sometimes, but think that changes are necessary, when you stop seeing changes as something bad, many things will start to take off in your life, you will align yourself to the right path.;
pile 5
take time to think, don't take action in the heat of emotion, when you're feeling lost in emotional matters, be introspective, think a little, read a book, the secret is to think before acting, not everything needs to be done now, You have this passion inside you but you need to balance it.
pile 6
Of all, you are the most mysterious, what is inside you? what are your emotions?; Maybe you don't even know. can carry the weight of the world alone. You really give me a vibe of never being satisfied or needing to be perfect, without feeling emotions all the time, always being a sunflower, but you don't need to.
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sashi-ya · 3 months
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𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬 𝑩: 𝑹𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑿 「cuts of freedom: part 4」 soshiro hoshina x f! officer! reader
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a/n: ok, ok! since you've been asking for a continuation, here it is! thank you for your support + were you expecting some kind of drama? if so, wait for yet another part then 🙊 tw: mdni! sex explicit scenes. Soshi is a little hurt so he is not going to be as active as usual. more of a romantic chapter. they are on the early stages of a rs so doubts are all over. oral (given). riding. nipple play kinda. wc: 3k // part1: cuts of freedom // part 2: かんぱい!// part 3: stuffed // masterlist
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He got hurt. that fight wasn’t easy, and yet he still wanted to keep fighting. “You should go to rest!” Ashiro Taichou scolded him, and he finally complied.
That same day, nobody wanted breakfast. All of you wanted to sleep, rest, pass out on your beds. And maybe too late for lunch everybody started waking up…
Like zombies, you all drag towards the dining room. Those with pain on their limbs, and those who have no visible injuries are all equally hungry.
You sit down next to Kikoru, and while she seems a lot more energetic than you, she is still sleepy. You grab something to eat, scanning the place to find him anywhere.
Despite him having a couple of bad injuries, he only spent a couple of hours at the medical centre. And so, you waited for his happy smile to appear and salute you all.
However, the food is almost completely gone, and he hasn’t appeared yet. The one who does, actually, is your captain, Mina.
“I came to salute and thank you for your hard work, guys. We’ve decided to let you all have a relax day. Keep in mind that if necessary we might need to call you back for duty”
Everybody. Absolutely. Went. Crazily happy.
You could or not ask for your vice-captain, but it would be… suspicious. You don’t want people getting in the way, not because it was forbidden. But because people will talk… and the risk, the secret you both have is exhilarating enough to keep it in between you and him.
Though the mystery of where he was, was discovered some minutes after with a “ping” on your phone…
16:02>VC Hoshina: are you o.o.d already? 16:03>you: yes, how do you know? 16:05>VC Hoshina: who do you think requested Ashiro Taichou for you all to have a day off? let’s have a night in at my place tonight. I’ll make dinner. Be ready at 5, I’ll be outside. 16:05>you:  outside? Together? Are you sure? aren’t you supposed to be resting? 16:06>you: yep, you coming home with me so you can take care of me… 😏
A date? A night in? His place? are we really dating? Are we a… couple?
It is taking you all you got not to show your happy smile -you do anyway-. It feels too good to be real. You wonder how his place might look like? What is he going to cook? Which clothes should you bring?
Ultimately, and exactly 10 minutes prior your set meting point, you are ready. You pick the sexiest underwear you could probably have while living at the base. -sports bra and panties- and little toiletries. Your backpack isn’t heavy, but your stomach is. Despite everything you two have experienced together, the first time you are actually on a date with nobody around will be this.
“Ready?” he asks,  peeking from the windows of his car. Black, exquisite, modern, expensive. What else would you expect?
“Yes ~” you whisper, smiling sexily.
Once you are inside and you have fastened the seat belt on, Soshiro comes closer to your lips. His fingers land on your chin, pulling you ever so softly towards his.
“Don’t give me that look, or I’ll fuck you right here” he whispers, planting a peck soon after.
You gasp silently; strong, funny, handsome, charismatic, and such a player… your heart skips quite some beats, and only the roaring of the car engine is able to break the enchantment you have fallen in.
Of course, the ride ended up pretty fast. Despite Soshiro having his house, the Hoshina family manor, he prefers to rent a very modest -not really, his is disgustingly rich- apartment closer to the base for obvious reasons.
“You’ve been quiet since we left the base. Wanna come back?” he asks, this time as serious as he can be.
“No, I was only intrigued about your lifestyle. Everything around here looks beautiful, Hoshina fuku Taicho” you murmur, following him inside the elevator.
He giggles; and instants later, when the lift doors close, he smirks. Eyes now open, sloppy but sexy, looking at you like a kaiju to subjugate, making you take little steps back against you encounter the mirrored wall behind.
You know how men turn when inside elevators…
“So-shi-ro” he corrects you; even him feels the need to forget for some hours about your jobs.
“so…shi…ro ~” you purr.
His hands end up on the railing behind you, on each side of your hips. His chest, chiselled to perfection, closer to yours. His lips, even closer than before.
“I would very much like to fuck you right here, too. There are cameras. I wouldn’t mind if you want to videotape us, but you are mine… and I don’t want anybody else to see you”
You swallow, once again your legs turned weak. And your brain? Stopped “braining”.
The doors open, and inside the apartment you both go. With wet panties, you try to act as if the last interaction never happened.
“Welcome ~” he sings, taking his boots off.
Inside, of course, everything seems more expensive than a whole year worth of salary, so you try not to touch anything. There aren’t many decorative pieces, but definitely the ones that garnish the walls are various blades shining their metallic glitter with white led lights.
Ahead, a big glass wall let’s your eyes infuse in a dying sun over the city of Tachikawa’s golden hour.
“What a beautiful view” you murmur, taking off your shoes.
“A panoramic view that will sooner or later be destroyed by those bitches…” he sighs, surrounding your waist with his arms from behind.
Soshiro’s chin rests on your shoulder; his aura feels a lot more romantic and calmed. It seems as if he really wanted a chill night with you and not just a lustful chain of sexual desires unleashed.
“Are you feeling ok? Does anything hurt?” you ask, worried. He didn’t seem very hurt while driving but he is strong to ignore any pain.
“Mhh? I think so. Though, that thing… was scary” he is as honest as he can be while turning you around to face him.
His eyes are beautifully tinted in orange, as the light of sunset reflects on them. His hair, purple and black, frame a sweet face. The sound of a feng shui little fountain takes over with infinite drops falling on dancing pieces of bamboo branches.
“Thank you for inviting me over…” you whisper, getting drunk on the handsome features you fell for.
Soshiro smiles softly, placing his forehead on yours. Both close your eyes, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of a private refugee. For once, maybe for some hours, there is peace in your minds.
“You don’t need to be invited to come here” he whispers back, placing a kiss on your forehead, leaving you speechless… Is this the confirmation he is going for real with you?
Soon, and after a very deep kiss, tinted in love and lust, he tells you to wait for him.
You use such time to enjoy for a little longer those outstanding views of the city, but what you will watch at next will be a lot more worth it to look at…
Dressed in yukata, Soshiro looks a lot more relaxed than before. And you, well… you try not to die to such show off of autochthone beauty scattered in front of you.
“You- wow…” you simply express. “Sorry, the bandages feel more comfortable if I am wearing lose clothes…”
He enjoys your needy eyes scanning him up and down, and soon asks you to follow him to the kitchenette where he prepares a series of very sharp objects to cook with.
“You know why squad 3 was happy at first when I joined?” he asks, taking fresh -very fresh and expensive- salmon out of the fridge.
“Mmm… ‘cause you were funny?” you joke. You know it is probably because of his skills.
He looks at you a little annoyed, but soon brush it off with a silly laugh.
“No! it is because Mina can’t handle knives. So, I, naturally being the great swordsman I am -and also great cook-, I was the one in charge of cutting the ingredients for them”
You giggle; you knew Mina didn’t have such skill… but at that point?
“Then mr. cook swordsman, please delight me with your skills” you purr, bending over the counter isle. Your collar allows the very beginning of your breasts to show, but Soshiro knows very well that he should focus on not cutting himself instead of it.
He scoffs, and precisely begins cutting thin slices of salmon. The way his sharp blade sections that pinkish flesh makes an act that to some might be barbaric, a ravishing image to look at.
Soshiro’s profile shows a tensing mandible, with muscles moving along with concentration and technique. It reminds you to the times you’ve seen him train minus the sweat -not that you were complaining about it, actually-
The way his yukata opens just enough for you to admire his pale flesh, obliges you to bite the insides of your mouth; to cross your legs enough as a natural reflex to satisfy the demands of your femininity.
Once those fine pieces of fish have been cut, they are put to rest to the side. Soshiro proceeds to grab a bowl with freshly cooked rice from the fridge, followed by the ingredients to assemble the nigiri.
He takes a swift look at you from the side; his smirk, makes you shiver. He knows he looks hot while doing this, and he will continue to do so for as long as he wants it to.
The way he cups a little ball of rice into his palm, and how he spreads the spicy wasabi on it, reminds you of how good his hands are when he touches you… so sensual, delicate, precise.
You can’t help but get lost into what he is doing, with a silly in love face, you allow him to continue in complete silence.
And once he is finished with the nigiri, he begins to prepare a sweet sauce that you assume must contain mango.
“Try the sauce”  he offers, with a silver spoon.
You walk around the counter and allow him to feed you the preparation right into your mouth. As sexy as possible, and as delicious as it can be, you enjoy the taste that’s also followed by his lips being pressed on yours. A kiss so sweet with little hints of citric, a kiss that threatens diner to be forgotten.
Soshiro lifts you up on top of the table; leaving the preparations on the side. His yukata opens a little bit more, showing off protruding -so delicious- collar bones, his bare chest and the very beginning of bandages tied around his waist.
You open your legs for him to come closer, but now that you’ve seen the bandages you make sure you are absolutely delicate with your movements.
 He kisses you again and again; he is soft and sweet, and absolutely sensual as well.
“Here” he murmurs, once he is over with your swollen lips and brings one of the pieces of sushi he just created to your mouth. Bare fingers, as traditionally as can be, he feeds you.
Delighted, you enjoy the savoury mix with the sweet sauce.
“So good, Soshiro… you were right, you are a wonderful cook” you murmur, still enjoying the piece in your mouth.
“Told you ~” he giggles, bragging about an undeniable truth.
You giggle too, this time grabbing a piece with your hands and giving it to him right into his mouth.
It might be a different experience for the both of you; a relaxing, mature, romantic and sensual night it…
And when the nigiri are definitely over, and your hunger -for food- satisfied, Soshiro invites you to yet another part of his department; the balcony. Such place is anything but small, but it is definitely cozy. It also communicates right with his room.
“I already told you this, but this view is breath-taking” you purr. “I think so, yes” he whispers, grazing your nape and neck with loving hand and looking right into your eyes.
Your cheeks burn; your stomach gets full of dancing, kaiju sized butterflies.
“I love this side of you…” you mumble, hugging him, placing your head on his chest with utmost care. “You made me feel like doing this” he answers, kissing the crown of your head.
Both enjoy the night views; laughing at an Izumo tecs drone falling down because it encountered a tree in its way. Of course, Soshiro laughs the loudest, and you can’t help but hug him harder as his fangs protrude like if he were a little kitten.
“auch-“ he grimaces. “oh, oh god. I’m so sorry!!” you panic, remembering his waist is covered in bandages. “take me… to… my bed!” he acts as if he was about to die, and you try to supress the laughter.
Soshiro -still acting up- opens the sliding glass doors of his room, and inside you both go.
He pounces into bed, dragging you with him. And despite him definitely knowing that he shouldn’t have done that, he brushes the pain on his belly away.
“You good?” “NO. CURE ME”
Soshiro holds you closer, snuggling with you on a king-sized bed. Finally, comfortable, you two lay together. And still, there isn’t room for anything in between you both.
For quite some time you stay in silence nuzzled into his chest. His perfume, so delicious, gets you drunk in love. His skin, pale and soft, like always, lures you to bite and kiss. His hand, heavy and warm, plays with your hair, slowly.
“I want to make love to you” Soshiro suddenly says, breaking the silence and stopping your heart.
“You…” you whisper, feeling a heat wave taking over your cheeks, nose and ears.
“With no hurries, nor worries” he continues, bringing his hand down your spine and into the small of your back. Soshiro pulls you even closer to him, with your core pressed against the side of his leg.
Your lips meet again, you don’t have to say “yes” to his proposal. You just want it to happen now. And soon, you become undressed in one bit.
However, you don’t want him -yet- to do all the work tonight. And perhaps, as a way of thanking him for this night, you want to pleasure him first.
Standing up without saying much, you crawl in between his legs. Your hands reach for the sash that holds his yukata together, and slowly as he wanted, you untie it.
Soshiro smirks, biting his own lip with sharp fangs.
“Put yourself comfortable; you cooked, now dessert is on me”
He gets, indeed, comfortable as he puts both pillows underneath his nape and his hands are ready to fall upon your head once your mouth begins to work on his sex.
Hard, of course, he waits. Hard, dripping with wet boxers, a damp stain on grey underwear you make bigger licking over it.
Soshiro squirms; your oral is delicious, as his taste is to you. Yet, the fabric isn’t as good as his bare skin. So, you pull from the hem of his boxer briefs, urging him to help you with the wiggling of his hips.
You place a kiss right on the tip, and your hand surrounds his rock-hard shaft. You can tell he is more than sensitive to your lips, as he begins contorting little by little.
But it is not enough pleasure. And deep inside your mouth, you let his sex slide in. Hitting faster your throat, his moans and grunts are a delightful symphony of lust.
“Honey…ugh…” he whines, pulling your head back from your hair, as pleasure seems to be high enough to make him burst.
“What? ~ already cumming?” you ask, kinda giggling and still pumping his dick up and down.
“In fact, yes! Come here, let me fuck you- I- ugh-“ Soshiro says, trying to stand up, soon noticing the wound in his stomach hurts more than what he thought. Perhaps the pain killers have already lost its effect, or it was the fact his muscles tensed and spasmed.
“Calm down, vice-captain… you are convalescent, let me do all the work for you” “It was me who wanted to make love to you” “maybe tomorrow morning…”
You, knowing that even if he is not on top he will make love to you either way, climb on his lap. As you promised, you will be the one doing the work for now.
One of your hands drive his shaft right into your entrance, and for some seconds you remain there, with it barely penetrating you. With both of you already moaning to the feeling. With your inner thighs shaking, ready to crumble and let Soshiro’s sex to go deep inside of you.
Eager. Desperate.
You let your hips flop onto his, allowing his dick to be finally deep, so very deep inside of you. Your hands fall on the backrest, for a better grip before you start riding.
As for Soshiro, he squeezes your butt cheeks, pressing you harder against him. No matter how painful his wound may turn, his body acts on his own. He follows your movements, sync to the rhythm of your ups downs and arounds.
He enjoys the view of your bouncy chest right above his face, making it impossible not to want to bite them. And so, he does. As you ride, he sucks, bites, nibbles on your nipples.
With one hand on the small of your back, and the other grabbing one of your breasts, Soshiro and you sail to ecstasy surely and despite wanting to go slow… none of you could stop your bodies from going at least feral.
So feral your hearts, about to pounce from your chests. So feral, with moaning loudly, with nobody from the squad to hear you whine.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤFeral, feral, feral. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe sound of his phone stops it all. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ [Okonogi-chan calling…]
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ "Why is she calling, Soshiro?"
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there’s been lots of requests and comments so here it is PART 3!!! (SHE’S HERE first anon, hope you survived this long second anon and it was not a dream third anon, I’m posting/making it now fourth and fifth anon)
some of you were going feral for part 2 so I hope this lives up the expectation 😭😭 if not I’m severely sorry
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title: the dancer and the angel part 3
pairing: grayson hawthorne x reader
synopsis: grayson has just admitted to kissing lyra kane, the girl you’d been worried about, the girl that was stunning, the girl he said didn’t matter… he chose her over you so now what??
parts: part 1 part 2
warnings: swearing, SPOILERS FOR TGG
a/n: okay so I hate switching POVs but I felt it was necessary here and I know the start is the same as the part 2 but in Gray’s POV but trust me there is lot more
tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31
GRAYSON’S POV
Guilt has chewed me up and spat me out the whole walk back to our shared room. There’s a pulsating lump in my throat that aches relentlessly, reminding me of what I’ve done. I am a terrible person. I never deserved her and now I’ve done the worst thing I could’ve possibly done, that anyone on this whole planet could’ve ever done. And she will never forgive me for it. I wish there was a way to turn back time and alter certain events. As soon as the time machine is invented, no doubt by my very own brother Xander, I’m coming back to moments before now to stop my idiot brain from-
I can’t even think it. Maybe it’s because it makes it more real. It’s like the last few moments of my life have been erased from my brain, it’s a blank canvas and I have no paints. I know what I did but I can’t remember exact details. Still, I can taste her on my lips, an over sweet taste that was almost too sickly has now morphed into something bitter. Her perfume lingers on my clothes and adds to my ever growing headache. I don’t want to smell her, I don’t want the reminder of the awful human I have become. The monster that now inhabits my body, lives in my skin, breathes my air and poisons the people I love. The ones I truly love.
Y/n. At one point she was the only reason I was still existing, still carrying on. She somehow managed to give me the fight to keep carrying on. I got up most days because I knew I would get to see her face. And now I’m going to throw everything away, our whole relationship. Everything we’ve been through or planned to go through together. It will reduced to nothing in a few minutes.
I’m outside the door, my feet have carried me here through muscle memory. I must go in, I must face her I’m aware but I’m afraid. I’ve never felt so pathetic. I wonder if she is still asleep. Though, I can’t work out whether I’d rather she be awake or asleep. I don’t think I could bear to look at her angelic feature either way. Those wide eyes, round lips, heavenly- I can’t bear it, I’m going to lose her, all of her.
I fiddle around with the key, hoping the door will just never unlock so I don’t have to face this. The mechanism clicks, mocking me. I step in silently and face the door to lock back up again. I don’t understand why, I know I’ll be kicked out in a matter of seconds, what good will a locked door be? And yet I’m still facing the door, fumbling with the key, my back towards her. Though I can hear her getting out of bed. She’s awake. My body’s immediate response is to go into a state of paralysis. I can’t move as the guilt ridden cement hardens over my body, creating an outer shell of the cruel creature I’ve become. Her body is behind mine. I can feel her bright presence radiating her usual tentative nature.
“Are you okay?” I hear her whisper as she touches my arm so gently it stings.
It stings so sharply because I know what I’ve done. The shameful crime I’ve committed. I jerk away suddenly.
“Are you hurt?” she asks, deep concern in her tone.
It kills me. It’s a poisoned dagger wedged deep within my heart, hitting every vital artery. Her voice is so soft, so melodic. She cares so much, too much and I’m about to destroy it all. And as much as I could not say a word I couldn’t live a lie, the guilt would eat me alive. How could I look her in the eye and tell her she’d always been the only one when I know she hadn’t? She’d already noticed earlier today my distant mood. She had always been observant, vigilant about those things concerning me and I’d always been grateful. I wouldn’t have that anymore. Lyra had been on my mind earlier and I couldn’t tell her. Now she would realise.
“No,” I reply.
My voice is unfamiliar to myself, it’s sharp and blunt. It sounds horribly harsh. I could feel it hurt her, the air ripples with a touch of dimness when I hurt her. Even with my back to her it’s obvious to me. I know her so well, too well and from this day on we might drift to perfect strangers. That thought hurts me more than anything.
“Where have you been?” she says. Her voice so sweet, so innocent, cruelly naïve.
I don’t want to break her, I don’t want to do it. It would be like smashing a glass ballerina. Something so beautiful, something so delicate should be preserved not purposely broken. I force my eyes to meet hers. I immediately regret it. The soft mellow colour all melts into one, clawing at my heartstrings and ripping the organ to shreds. She’s so beautiful. How had I ever looked at any other? How had I let myself?
Suddenly I’m drowning in guilt. I don’t know how, it just comes over me suddenly. Like a tidal wave I had my back to. I’ve been swept under by an endless ocean of shame. My lungs swollen full of my own black sin. I don’t know how but I manage to choke out two shaky words.
“I’m sorry.”
My voice cracks. My voice never cracks. She knows that. I’m sturdy, I’m strong, I’m the rock that never breaks and here I am. Here I am crumbling into dust. She’s too smart to miss the signs, she’s too clever not to immediately know something so horribly wrong, her mind is too sharp not to have worked half of it out. She’d already been suspicious of Lyra. She’d already seen what might happen between us even before I did, before it did actually happen.
“Gray?” she asks, my name sounding too sweet on her tongue. The next time she says it will taste bitter, I’m sure of it. She barely whispers the word but I hear her, it rings in my mind. It forever will.
I’m full of pure regret and guilt, it wracks my soul, shaking me relentlessly back and forth until I’m dizzy with it. Remorse’s doors suddenly burst wide open, ready for my grand entrance. My hopes and dreams snicker and smirk smugly as I walk down the runway, my head hanging in embarrassment.
I need to tell her. My heart races in my chest and there’s a lump stuck in my throat, so large it’s started to block my airways. I don’t know how to get the words out, I don’t know how to talk. I feel like I’m suffering some sort of aneurysm. She looks at me, her eyebrows pinched in and eyes narrowed and then I see it. Her eyebrows part and slowly sink. She knows already.
“Tell me,” she murmurs, her voice of an angel shaking.
I close my eyes, trying to suppress the tears. I haven’t cried in years I’ve forgotten this feeling, this heavy weighted agony that ripples through me causing water to infiltrate my eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek and still my shaking hands.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, an uninvited raw desperation ripping through my voice, “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant for it to happen, I-“
“Tell me,” she grits through her teeth sharply, her eyes glitter so beautifully fierce and fiery, like she wants to kill.
But I know she’s trying to steady her rising sadness by covering up with her fury. I can see through her, like she can see through me. I freeze and the pause elongates. The aching silence is deadly, it’s fatal. I wish she didn’t have to make me say it.
“I kissed her,” I murmur, the words making me feel sick as I say them.
“Who?” she asks, he tone low and ferocious, “who did you kiss? I want to hear you say it.”
I’m twisting a knife into her heart and I know it. But she wants me to cut deeper. She’s a woman of principle, I’ve already hurt her, I might as well do the job properly in her eyes. And I can’t deny her this. Not I’ve stripped her of her dignity, her trust, her love, her everything.
“I kissed Lyra,” I whisper, suddenly aware of the dampness on my cheeks.
A sour taste fills my mouth. The words send lightning sparks across my jaw, sending ribbons of agony down the sides of my face. The truth hurts. Literally. Tears are rolling the side of my face, but I don’t bring my hand to wipe them and nor do I stop them. I’ve never felt more broken.
But she doesn’t care, there is not pity in her eyes. Good. I don’t want he to pity me. She should hate me. She should want me to miserable and hope for me to have a lifetime of the torture I’ve just forced her to endure.
“Get out,” she murmurs, the anger bringing out her natural stunning features. A flicker of boldness in her eyes, the striking angles of her eyebrows, her strong thick lashes and her full lips.
“I’m sorry.” they’re the only words I remember how to say, through my internal fit of torment.
I expect her to hit me around the face, a good strong punch I know she can make or a sharp smack that’ll leave a red hand mark pressed against my cheek. I imagine she might scream at me and ask me all the questions I wish I had answers to. But she does none of that. She only looks at me darkly and utters two last words.
“Leave Grayson.”
I can hear the tears she’s trying to hold back, through the numb façade. I know her better than she’ll ever realise. But it’s not fair for me to stay, not after this. She’s only asking one thing of me when she should be doing so much more. So I do. I turn my back on her again. And I leave.
***
Tears pummel down my cheeks like never before. I can’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like this. I’m blinded by them as I stumble sideways. I don’t know where I’m going. I stand on the edge of the cliff and sink to my knees, letting out a loud guttural scream. I’m there until my throat is so raw I can’t feel it. I bite my lip so hard it draws blood. And then I’m up again and running, following a path my footsteps are dragging me towards. I can’t think straight, I’m dizzy with pain. Before I know it I’m outside the safe house on the island. My hands tremor on the handle and I swing open the door, falling to the floor for my sobs to take me over. My chest aches and burns and tightens. That’s when I realise I can’t breathe properly. I fumble around for my phone, a tear splashing into the illuminated screen. With uncontrollably shaking hands, I typed no words. Just three numbers.
911
***
The wait feels like years, maybe even decades. Each second taunts me, with a mocking tick. I’d crumbled into the corner of the room at some point and stayed there, curled up and choking on my own sorry sobs. What had I done? What had I done? What had I done?
The question circles around my head like the nostalgia of a distorted tune of a merry go round. I’ve never made such a big mistake and my life and deep down there’s a sinking sensation that is telling me I’m not going to be able to make this better. I sob, loud harsh sobs that hurt my lungs and knock the air out of my stomach. My whole being shakes with every strangled noise that escapes my lips. Grieving. I’m grieving over something I chose to throw away. It’s cruelly ironic. But I think part of me is also grieving the good man I once thought myself to be, that she made me believe I could be.
I turned my back on the one and only person in this world who just cared about me, took me for who I am and believed I could do anything. She only wanted the best, she only wanted happiness and she deserved so much more and here I am, stabbing her in the back and dancing in her blood like a madman. She was my everything and I managed to mess it up, just like everything else in my life. I can’t have normal relationships, I can’t do something without messing it up. I’m one big screw up the opposite of how the old man raised me to be. He’s looking down on me now and I can feel his disappointment, like an infection coursing through my bloodstream. I failed him, I failed my brothers, I’ve failed her, I’ve failed myself.
She thought I was better, she believed I could be more than his expectation. And I was stupid enough to believe it, encourage it and let her belive the lie too. We’re all idiots.
I can recite her favourite song, her favourite flower, her favourite food and favourite colour. I can tell you all about her favourite novels and how she orders her books on an endless bookshelf. I know that she tells people her favourite film is ‘it’s a wonderful life’ but it’s actually secretly ‘tangled’. I know she prefers to stay inside and cuddle under blankets rather than have a night out. I know she’d rather reason a thousand books than watch a thousand movies. I know she wanted a library in her dream house and two, maybe three children with her husband and I know she’d sometimes debate about getting a cat as well. I know how she loves brownie batter more than the actual brownies and can’t sleep with any lights on. I know she still uses the bunny rhyme to tie her shoelaces and how she fiddles with her collarbone when she’s nervous. I know exactly what diamond she wanted in her engagement ring and her favourite country. I know what people she despises and I know what people she adores. I know every inch of her face, every hair on her head, every sparkle in her eyes and every cell on her skin.
I know her.
I know her, but that can’t help me now. Pain ripples across the left side of my chest and my hand clamps over it as I grit my teeth to try and bear it. I hear the door creek open and can’t tell whether it comforts me or not.
“Grayson pookie!” Xander calls out, “we’re here.”
His cheerful voice doesn’t provide me with the cushion to this pain I thought it might.
“And we have some in incredibly strong whisky,” Jameson adds, I can here the mischievous grin in his voice, it’s been the same all of his life.
“My nose hairs are officially burnt off,” Xander agrees.
I can’t speak. I try to call out for them but the words die in my swollen throat.
“Where are you Gray?” Nash calls out, he sounds a little more worried than the other two but is concealing it well.
“Here,” my voice is hoarse and laboured, even I can’t recognise it.
The mood immediately shifts, you can feel it. The air becomes tainted with concern as their footsteps approach my cowering figure. The case of whiskey is dropped as there is an audible thunk as it hits the floor. I can feel their bodies enveloping around mine creating something of a circle of safety. I look up to worried face and shiny eyes.
“Help me,” I gasp for air, greedily trying to gulp down the oxygen that I feel so deprived of, “please.”
“We’re here to help you Gray,” Nash murmurs softly. His voice had always been something comforting, especially when I was younger. I wonder if he will be so kind when I tell him what I’ve done. He’s going to hate me, there’s nothing he despises more than a man who can’t respect a woman.
I shake my head and choke out another struggling sob, instead of the words I don’t know how to say. Jameson’s eyes flit between mine and Nash’s, the concern rippling across his features. He’s never looked this concerned for me in his life. I think to all the times as children I’d helped him settle after a nightmare and wiped his tears that he hated falling when the old man had humiliated him. Oh how the tables had turned. Now it was my little brother wiping my tears.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his touch so gentle it shocks me.
“I can’t-“ I barely get out, wrapping my hands around my neck.
“Gray…” he trails off, unmasked emotion hitting his face like a train.
“I can’t breathe,” I wheeze as the invisible blanket that was set out to suffocate me tightens over my nose and mouth.
“Hey, Gray, look at me,” Nash says, his voice smooth and reassuring, “in and out okay, in and out.”
“I can’t,” I pant, my limbs shaking embarrassingly uncontrollably.
Xander takes both of my hands into his and squeezes them until they still, “yes you can, follow Nash’s instructions okay?”
“Slowly, do it with me,” Nash nods, “in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
I do. In and out, a rhythmic pattern. Each time Nash reminds me how to breathe. There’s an aura of calmness about his voice that lulls my panic into a narcoleptic sleep. Once my breathing is halfway regulated I look at him, dead in the eye, with shaking sorrowful lips.
“I fucked up,” I sob, “I fucked up and I don’t know what to do.”
They all share a look, this is the worst state they’ve seen me and we all know it. I begin to pathetically sob uncontrollably once again, the feelings building up in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. It’s like a rabid pack of wolves had been set loose to feed on my internal organs. I don’t know how to stop the ocean of tears, I don’t know how to shut my mind off, I don’t know how to help myself. Reel myself in from this abominable mess I’ve become. I’m hyperventilating, my chest throbbing up and down unevenly. Nash nods towards Jameson, a short, soft, sharp nod of approval.
“Hey! Calm down!” Jameson snaps, giving me a hard slap around the face, “snap out of this!”
The shock shuts me up and the sting stops my tears. I’m back to reality instead of a wallowing mess. Nash must’ve been approving the slap I realise in the sudden cleared head I’d obtained
“Sorry,” Jameson mumbles at me, looking a little guilty.
I massage my jaw, “no I think I needed that.”
He grimaces and then softens his tone, “what happened Gray?”
I tense, growing very still, “I can’t say it out loud, I can’t, I’m awful, I’m horrible-“
“What happened?” Nash drawls.
I choke out yet another unnatural sound. Seems the slap didn’t snap me hard enough into reality. I exhale slowly. I have to say it, now or never.
“I kissed Lyra.”
The words hurt even more this time, that they did when I’d admitted it to y/n. Neither one of my brothers can mask their honest reaction.
“Oh fuck,” Jameson blurts out, “you cheated?”
Anger. He’s fuming with me. I can see the rage trailing through his eyes and blossoming into his expression.
“I didn’t mean to,” I reply, feeling like a small child.
Jameson’s eyes widen and fury flashes across his face, “how can you not mean-“
Nash shoots him a look and his mouth glues shut. Then he turns to me and I can’t quite read him yet. I gulp.
“No one does that kind of thing for no reason,” he says sternly, “I never thought you’d be the one of the four of us to ever do that, seems I was mistaken little brother.”
Disappointment. He’s disappointed. A horrible sinking feeling settles in my stomach. Nash is disappointed in me. It’s one of the worst feelings imaginable. There had only been few times in my life when he had been and I remember the feeling all too well. Shame has me in a chokehold an it’s succeeding in strangling me. I can‘t bring myself to meet his eyes, I don’t want to see that look I can feel is on his face, that look of pure disapproval.
“How did she find out?” Xander asks quietly.
Shock. He hadn’t said anything until now, but his lips had been slightly parted and he’d paled a little. He never thought I’d do this to anyone, he’s yet another person I’ve let down.
“I told her,” I murmur, “the guilt was consuming me.”
“As it should,” Jameson snaps, twitching with a fiery ferocity.
“Jamie,” Nash says, trying to keep some kind of diplomacy.
“No,” he growls, “you don’t do that to a girl, your girl, you can’t do that!”
“Don’t take the moral highground now,” I spit.
“When you’ve cheated on your girlfirend? Yeah I think I will,” he replies, the bitterness rolling off of his tongue like a deadly poison. He doesn’t know I’ve already poisoned myself with my own actions, his words can’t hurt me.
“I didn’t mean to,” I falter.
“Bullshit,” he grits through his teeth, in two definitive and threatening symbols.
“Careful Jamie,” Nash warns.
“All this is your fault anyway,” I continue, ignoring the warning.
“So it’s my fault, you kissed another girl, yeah, okay Gray,” he nods his head with a sarcastic smile.
“It is!” I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air, “if you hadn’t locked me in a room with her-“
“So it’s my fault you couldn’t keep up dick under control,” he quips, interrupting me.
“You could’ve locked me with my one of my sisters but of course you just had choose the only girl who isn’t related to me,” I seethe.
“Odette isnt related to you,” Xander pipes up. I’d forgotten he was there, that anyone besides me and Jameson were there.
“Odette is old enough to be my grandmother,” I scowl at him, immediately feeling bad as the words leave my lips, but don’t dwell on it as I turn back to Jameson, “why did you make me a player in your sick excuse of a game?”
“You can’t use the game as an excuse,” he laughs darkly.
“I will,” I reply sharply, “this is your fault and Avery’s fault too.”
“Avery? Don’t make me laugh,” he rolls his eyes.
“The game never should’ve been created by her,” I yell, “that’s why I’m in this mess!”
“No, you’re in this mess because of you,” he shouts back, “but don’t you dare bring Avery in to this it’s not her fault.”
I feel like I’m one of those circus acts, the ones that lay on a spinning board and get knives hurled at them. Only in my case the knives are the truth and they actually hit me.
“Why did you make me a player?” I ask quieter now, my voice hoarse, “why?”
“I didn’t know making you a player would result in this,” he says.
“It was so irreverent,” I snap becoming angrier by the second, a sudden burst of red overriding any rational sense in my head, “I never needed to play.”
“You can’t pin this on me Gray, if it didn’t happen with Lyra, who knows who else it would’ve happened with,” he hisses.
“So you think I’m just like this? You think this is me?” I ask him, prodding the hollow space where my heart used to be.
“I didn’t before….” he trails off, sighing, “but now I don’t know what the fucking think of you.”
“Jamie,” Nash repeats again, in the same warning tone as before. We both ignore him.
“Just because you and Avery are all peaches and roses-“
“Leave Avery out of your anger issues,” he roars defensively.
“No,” I counter, raising an eyebrow, mirroring his usual argument demeanour, “you think you’re so perfect now you’ve got your dream girl and the two of you are so much better off than the rest of us, because your love is undeniable or whatever bullshit people feed you about it-“
Jameson’s features twitch for a split second. He’s hurt, but won’t show it. He’ll refuse but I know that it hit a nerve that won’t heal for a long time. I stop mid-sentence.
“I am far from perfect, I think we both know that,” he says, in a low voice, “look you’re hurting, I get it, but I’m not going to mollycoddle you and tell you it’s okay when it’s not. I’m not going to stand here and lie to your face because as your brother that would be the worst possible thing for me to do to you.”
“My brother would try and understand what it’s like from my side,” I say, desperation clawing at my voice.
“You’re looking for a fight Grayson and it’s not going to end well, not with me,” he warns, shaking his head.
“Maybe I do want a fight, but you know you do too,” I growl rolling up my sleeves, “so fine, I’ll give you a fight Jamie.”
“I don’t want a fight, I want some justice for y/n,” he states simply, “she did nothing to deserve that Gray, she’s been so good to you, the sweetest soul on this earth and she’s helped you through a lot of shit and this is how you’re repaying her?”
“Jameson,” Nash says.
He ignores him for the third time and I can see his calm facade beginning to drop, “you think because you called a 911 and you’re here crying that I should feel sorry for you?”
“I thought you were going to be here for me,” I reply numbly, my tone dead, “clearly I’m mistaken.”
“I can’t be there for someone with no morals,” he replies, “you cheated and you’re the one who’s upset about it, how do you think she feels?”
“You think I don’t know her?” I fire back, my throat burning, “you think I don’t know exactly what she’s doing right now? I hate myself, I hate myself for doing what I did!”
“Good you should!” he screams back.
Before I know it I feel myself charges towards him, ready to throw a good punch but Nash and Xander launch onto me to quickly and managing to hold me back. Nash’s grip is so tight I don’t dare try and budge.
“Out. Now.” Nash says sharply to Jameson, “go and cool off.”
His tone sends a shiver down my spine that I won’t admit to. Jameson opens his mouth to argue.
“Jameson.”
He skulks away, with a sullen face. We all wait frozen until the door has been slammed shut. Nash lets my arm go, dropping it harshly and Xander follows suit.
“And you’re no better,” he turns to me, placing his cowboy hat on a nearby surface, “I’m only sending him away because you can’t be left alone in this mess and so the two of you don’t rip each other to pieces.”
Silence stills the room. His voice echoes but makes no sound all at the same time.
“Take a second, take a breath and we’re going to talk this through like adults,” he says, “if you want to carry on being a child then leave. Calm down, you’re not a toddler having a tantrum, you’re a grown man, act like it.”
Nash has a way of snapping me back to reality. I nod shakily.
“Talk.”
I begin, “I don’t even know why I kissed her, I didn’t mean to it just-“
“Happened?” he guesses, “no little brother, that doesn’t just happen.”
“The I don’t know Nash,” I say, tipping my head back and resting it on the wall behind me.
I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen. It just did. She was there, just stood there. Her hands looped naturally around the back of my neck, warm and gentle, “someone sent me that ticket Grayson. I thought it was Avery but if it wasn’t…”
She trails off, her voice small and tentative. Her golden eyes filled with the utmost worry. I wanted her to know she’d be okay, that she’d have someone to keep her safe. Her arms get more comfortable around my neck. She’d felt it too, the electrifying spark between us. It was exhilarating but something about it was off, synthetic.
“Then who the hell was it?” I questioned, my hands magnetised to her cheek all of a sudden.
Lyra didn’t pull away and neither did I. I lower my head and she raised onto her toes and titled hers back a little. She was graceful, like a dancer. My lips brushed over hers. They were sweet like honey. For the first few moments it was bliss and the realisation hit, like a stone to my stomach. I jerked backwards suddenly, shaking my head.
“I can’t do this,” I said, my fingers trying to wipe her taste off of my lips, “I don’t- this isn’t-“
I was tongue-tied, not able to explain to her how wrong it was. The words wouldn’t work the way I wanted them to.
“Gray?” Lyra murmurs, a tender voice. Her amber eyes are widened and slightly confused.
“No,” I yell. She flinches and another wave of horribly strong emotion rushes over me, drowning me. “No I’m in love with someone else. I don’t know what that was. I can’t-“
I stumbled backward a few steps and the turned around and ran. Like the coward that I am.
“It did just happen,” I murmur, lifting my head from the wall to look my older brother in eye, “I swear to god, I didn’t intend for it to happen, I didn’t even know I had feelings for her.”
I can see he disagrees still and isn’t convinced. I don’t know how to prove it to him.
“Let’s establish one thing here, who do you like?” Xander asks me.
“I like Lyra,” I say slowly, “but I love y/n.”
Nash shakes his head, “if you loved her you wouldn’t have done that.”
“I made a mistake,” I press on.
“And you will pay for it and regret it for the rest of your life,” he shrugs, “it’s not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. Listen, I love Libby and loving someone means so many things. One of those things is that I don’t even look at other women, to me they don’t even really exist. Libby is my world and no one else even comes into the equation, so the fact is someone else came into the equation for you, meaning the love wasn’t there.”
“But it was, I felt it,” I say, my voice breaking as I press my chest.
“What do you feel for Lyra?” he asks plainly.
“I don’t know, she’s intriguing and smart and beautiful,” I murmur, “and I like her, but I don’t know if I have romantic feelings for her.”
“Then why did you kiss her?”
“Comfort? Lust? Greed? Selfishness? I don’t know it just happened,” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.
“Stop using that phrase as a get out clause,” Nash shakes his head, “you have to admit to yourself more than anyone that this didn’t just happen.”
“I leaned in and I put my lips of hers, and I didn’t stop it, it didn’t feel wrong straight away,” I admit out loud finally.
“It didn’t?” Xander says, looking wounded.
“No, it didn’t feel wrong until I realised what I’d done,” I say, looking down, suddenly finding my shoelaces to be the most interesting thing in the world.
No one replies for a long while. That’s when I realise how exhausted I truly am and how much I crave sleep.
“I vouched for you,” Xander says quietly, “I told her that you’d never do that, that you weren’t that guy.”
“I’m not,” I say, in denial at first. I take a moment to analyse his sentence and then come to a sickening realisation, “oh my god I am…”
“She was already anxious about where your loyalties were Gray,” he winces.
“I proved her right, I proved every worry she had right, I just proved to her that she shouldn’t have trusted me,” I spiral, hating that I hadn’t seen it sooner.
Xander looks to Nash for support for a reply.
“Yeah,” Nash sighs, “you did.”
“I need to fix this, there has to be a way-“
“Grayson,” the acuteness of his voice cuts through my sentence like a machete.
I freeze and clamp my mouth firmly shut.
“This isn’t a broken vase, you can’t glue it back together or buy a new one,” he tells me softly.
He was referring to a time where Jameson and I had been seven and eights years old. We’d been brawling of course, Hawthorne style and accidentally smashed a vase. Usually it wouldn’t matter, there were vases all over Hawthorne House and they were smashed frequently. But this wasn’t just any vase. It was nan’s priceless vase that had belonged to her daughter, our grandmother, Alice. We were never allowed within a five mile radius of it, but like the rebellious children we were, we didn’t listen. Through our fight we’d smashed the whole thing, it was truly destroyed. The two of us stayed up for nights on need gluing together the pieces only to realise it was never going to look like the original again. So we’d hunted to buy another, problem was, this vase was one of a kind. It turned out after four weeks or trying to ship a similar one in that nan had known the whole time. She didn’t speak to either of us for a good few months.
“This is real life, she is a real person and you hurt her,” he explains, “fixing this isn’t an option. There isn’t a way to fix it, there are no pieces to our back together, okay?”
I’m silent but it’s the loudest voice in the room. My face pinches together in agony. For the first time, a little of the disappointment fades and my brother’s face softens. He wraps a strong arm around me and I flop into him like a lifeless bag of nothingness. I bury my head into his shoulder and try to cry but there seems to be no tears left. He understands and holds me for a moment. Suddenly I’m six years old again and crying in Nash’s in my arms over Jameson hiding my favourite teddy bear at the time, then I’m eleven in his arms with pneumonia after being stupid enough to get caught in the rapids un the dead of winter wanting a good photograph of a rare fish, then I’m seventeen, crying over a redheaded girl who I thought I’d managed to murder. And now here I am, at twenty-two years old in his grasp once again, having made the greatest mistake of my life.
Suddenly I feel another set of arms wrap around the both of us.
“Group hug!” a familiar voice sings.
Leave it to Xander to make me crack a half smile in the darkest moments I’ve ever experienced. After a while I pull away and sigh.
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” I ask, pulling away.
“Honestly?” Xander asks.
I nod
“No,” he says. I wish I could see that little glimmer of a lie in his eyes, but I can’t. And it kills me.
“Think about it like this,” he sighs, “would you forgive Eve for what she did?”
“This is not the same thing,” I reply coldly.
“Eve cheated your trust, she betrayed you,” he explains gently, “that’s exactly how she feels.”
Dread fills my every pore as I murmur lifelessly, “I’m as bad as Eve.”
“No wait,” he says, looking guilty and panicked all at the same time, “that’s not what I meant!”
“I know,” I reassure him so some of his guilt subsides, “but it’s true and now I’ve just realised.”
“Look Gray, you aren’t Eve. You’re never going to be Eve, but think of how you felt then. That’s how y/n feels,” Nash soothes, “she’s not going to just forgive you, that’s not how it works.”
“You just broke her heart Gray,” Xander adds, careful to keep his tone as light as a feather, “for a girl you just met.”
“Why am I horrible person? Why do I always find a way to mess to something good?” I groan, smacking my head on the wall behind me. There’s an audible thump as pain spreads through the back of my skull. I wonder if I can concuss myself to forget all of this, but I don’t attempt the idea.
“You don’t-“
“No I do,” I say firmly, cutting him off, “I’m not meant for love, to love or to be loved, I’m not built for it. I’m not a good enough person for it. I’m never going to find my Libby or my Max or my Avery.“
“Grayson-“ Nash begins.
“Emily knew it and now so does y/n,” I snap.
My brothers still at her name, not moving a muscle. I never bring up Emily.
“Listen to me,” Nash says sharply, getting my attention, “you are meant to be loved. You are meant to love. I love you, Xander loves you, Jameson loves you and y/n loved you too…”
The change of tense makes my soul ache.
“…but this time around, you made a mistake, a costly mistake. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.”
I nod numbly, robotically.
“What can I do to make it up to her?” I ask, my voice beginning to tremble, “to show her I’m sorry? Something there has to be something.”
Nash gives me a grim look and Xander’s face remains blank, they’re the only answers I need. My head sinks into my hands. The door reopens and I look back up. Jameson has returned.
He meets my eyes, “Avery’s with her.”
Blood surges through my heart and I can almost smile. He checked on her. For me.
“Is she okay?” I ask quickly.
Jameson looks at me and for a split second I almost see the ghost concern is his eyes. He shakes his head softly, “no, but she will be,” he replies, it’s an attempt to comfort me and I am grateful.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“I’m not apologising for what I said, because I still stand by it and you won’t change my mind,” Jameson says, “but I am sorry for being so angry about it.”
“You were right,” I whisper, “you were right about me. I never deserved her, so was nothing but an angel to me and I just turned around and threw it all away. I abused the luxury I had, I stabbed her in the back and then gifted another with the knife, I’m a horrible person.”
“What you did was wrong, but that’s doesn’t make you a horrible person,” he sighs, “you need time Gray, this is going to take a lot of healing. On both sides.”
“I don’t deserve to heal, I deserve to be in pain,” I murmur, the dullness in my tone echos around the empty walls.
“Oh no, we’re not going back to emo Grayson,” Xander says quickly, shaking his head.
“I agree with Xander on this one,” Nash nods, readjusting his cowboy hat.
“I don’t want to hear you blasting my chemical romance at three a.m and then denying it later again, you came out of that phase we’re not going back there,” Jameson tells me.
I bark out a laugh that thaws my icy chest. I then bite the inside of my cheek.
“I can’t fix this, can I?” I say, looking at the ground,
Nash shakes his head softly.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed,” Xander says.
“You’ll get through this Gray,” Jamie agrees, “I know it.”
The room grows still.
“Can we drink that whiskey now?” I ask, to cut through the silence. I feel like getting drunk, I feel like I need some relief.
“Big brother,” Xander nods at Nash handing him the bottle.
“Little brother,” he tips his cowboy hat in reply before taking the bottle into his hands and cracking it open.
“Let me pour these things properly,” Nash grins, “Jamie, come help.”
“Wait me too!” Xander jumps up,
“Stay with Gray,” he shakes his head.
“I don’t need to be babysat,” I grumble, annoyance written all over my face.
“I want to watch them pour whiskey properly,” Xander explains, “so I can impress Max.”
My eyebrows fly to my forehead, “Max drinks?”
“No I want to impress her though,” he grins.
‘You’re an odd human,” I almost laugh, tilting my head to the side.
“Why ta very much!” he says, almost skipping away.
Once I know they’re all gone, I lean back on the wall, my heart feeling a tiny bit less heavy. The pain isn’t gone. I think I’ve just gone numb. I feel hollow, empty, nothingness. Guilt is still gnawing at my insides but slower. A satifying clink against the fragile rim of the glass takes me out of my own head for a split second. There are hushed voices from the kitchen, I notice. I walk over to the door that lay ajar, I lean in to listen.
“We need to tell him,” it sounds like Jameson.
“Not now,” the accent indicates Nash.
“Then when?” Xander’s voice asks, “how long can we prolong it.”
“I can hear you,” I tell them, raising my voice a little.
They turn to face me, awkwardly remaining silent. The expressions on their faces don’t offer me comfort.
“Whatever it is, spit it out,” I say, “it’s not like tonight could get any worse.”
They share a look. Apparently it can. I feel sick to my stomach.
I can barely breathe, “who died?”
“No one has died,” Xander says quickly, “yet.”
“What?” I say, my tone deadly,
Nash glares at him, then turns back to me. There’s sorrow laced delicately, deep within his hazel irises.
“Gray,” he says gently, “Gray we hate to do this but…”
“What? What is it?” I ask urgently.
“Gigi’s missing.”
The words shock me to my core. I feel my throat begin the close up as panic returns with a smirk and triumphant greeting. My whole world has collapsed in less than 24 hours.
***
YOUR POV
I don’t hate him. Call me naive or call me stupid. But I don’t. I don’t think I ever could. The kind of love I have for him is unconditional, irrevocable. Time can’t heal a wound this deep and although it is still fresh now, I can tell. But if he were to say sorry I think I would forgive him every time. And if he asked me back I’d fall into his arms into an instant. And I hate myself for it, it’s stupid and it’s a little cruel. How easily I would take him back after what he did. I know I shouldn’t but something inside of me is drawn to him. Like an invisible magnet has been planted in our hearts. I wish I didn’t love so hard, fall so deeply, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt so badly. But it’s in my nature, it’s who I am. I wonder if he knows how much pain I’m in, the rippling agony that rolls across my chest relentlessly with no hint as to when it will cease. I’m tired of being the second choice but unfortunately I wouldn’t mind being his. And I know it’s completely stupid of me to think that way, completely wrong but love makes you do stupid things so they say. I sit on the beach, by the sea in a state of numbness. Silent tears roll down my tears as the waves lap my feet. Deja vu washes over me and the memories of Grayson and I the night of the game flash through my mind.
I grip his hand and run with him as he guides me the just beyond the shore. He sits down swiftly on the sand and pulls me down to sit between his legs. I lean my back onto his chest and let him nuzzle his face into my collarbone.
“I love you,” he whispers, kissing my neck, “only you.”
Only me, huh? Only me…
The waves crash against the rocks, hurtling a salty spray towards me. I hear footsteps and turn around. Avery stands there, a mournful expression over her delicate face. She knows. I stumble towards her and collapse into her arms in a fit of uncontrollable sobs now and she holds me. Her touch is gentle and warm but it’s nothing compared to his. I realise he might never hold me in his arms again and I cry even harder.
***
I don’t hold Lyra accountable. She is not to blame. Some girls in my position might dream about different ways to brutally murder her but I can only ask what comfort would it bring me? My feelings are already dead, what good is more pain doing?
There was a choice that Grayson Hawthorne was given: his dancer or his angel. He chose his dancer and I hope he’s happy. Because angels have wings and we rise up stronger.
idk guys I think I wrote Grayson’s POV really awfully to be honest… also I feel like the 911 meet up was not like their normal ones where they try and like do something (e.g drink or dare) and then talk about the pain but that’s bc Grayson was in such a mess and then they had to drop the bomb that Gigi was missing. so anywayyyss…
I am sorry this took so long and I hope it lived up to any expectation you wanted it too (sorry if it didn’t) and I hope you enjoyed 🤍🤍 thanks for reading as always
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vendetta-if · 2 months
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Hello! I found this IF weeks ago and I've been loving it ever since 💕 I have some questions...
Let's just say that MC & RO are already married in this scenario and both of them decided to have kids... If so, what kind of parents would they be? And how many kids would the RO wants to have?
Also ignore this ask if it's already answered 🫶 Hope you have a great weekend!
For how many kids, I don’t think any of the ROs really have any preference 🤔 But I suppose some would probably have higher tolerance or experience in living in a livelier house 😆
I can see Ash and Rin not really wanting too many kids; Ash because they are not that confident their ability to take care more than two kids and Rin has always wanted two kids at max.
Skylar and Santana are more open to have more than 2 kids. Skylar being an only child all their life would not mind having a livelier home and they like kids. Meanwhile Santana has experience in taking care of their two little siblings and they don’t really mind kids much.
As for what kind of parents the ROs would be…
Ash
They’ll be quite the protective parent in the sense that they’ll always be ready to fight tooth and nail to protect their kids from danger or harm (including bullies, so they and their parents better think twice because Ash would be ready to throw hands with both 😂).
But other than that, they’re actually pretty chill parent. They’re the kind of parent that the kid would go to ask for something because they’ll be more likely to say yes 😆 They’ll also always make effort to be interested in their kids’ hobbies or interests.
Rin
They’ll be the stricter parents compared to the other ROs. They do have certain expectations of their kids like doing well in school and taking their studies seriously (not slacking off or missing too many classes).
But they’re also a really understanding parent, will always encourage their kids to talk to them about anything troubling them or maybe just talk about other things in general. Rin has always been very mature and possessed great insight into people, and they’ll always be ready to give some sage advice to their kids.
Santana
They’re honestly probably the most normal parent in the sense that they’re very balanced and flexible. They will be strict when needed, but chill and understanding otherwise.
One of the most important things to them is to impart a sense of responsibility in their kids, so even if they ended up marrying MC and had much comfier and luxurious lifestyle, they’d still want their kids to be independent and capable of doing basic chores like doing laundry or cooking simple meals.
Skylar
Straight up the fun and outgoing parent. Similar to Ash, they’ll always make an effort to get into their kids hobbies and interests as well. They’ll try to make time to personally drop off and pick up their kids from extracurricular activities and encourage them in pursuing their interests.
They’re really doting and might be the most similar to Viktor out of all the other ROs. I’d say they’re like a mix of Viktor and Takashi 🤣 Gentle and caring like Viktor, but energetic and playful (to the point of childishness at times) like Takashi. Of course, the downside is they have a hard time being strict to their kids.
This is the type of thing that Skylar (and Takashi and to a lesser degree, Viktor) would do:
BONUS
This is the difference between how Ash and Rin would’ve reacted to a bully bullying their kids:
Ash
Throw hands, no questions asked 👊
youtube
Rin
Find out everything they can about the bully and their family ✨ Those information will be used as necessary until the bullying stops.
youtube
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gay-dorito-dust · 9 months
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Capture the flag was coming up and your cabin was next to participate alongside the formidable Hermes cabin, but instead of being overjoyed at the opportunity to finally bring glory to your cabin like the rest of your siblings, you were off sulking elsewhere and busying yourself by plucking one blade of grass at a time; unaware that someone had notice your absense and decided to follow after.
‘Hey stranger.’ A voice came from beside said, making you flinch, only to relax when you saw that it was only Luke. ‘Why so sad, you normally love capture the flag.’ He adds, nudging your arm playfully as he flashed you a charming smile.
‘Yeah but after a string of repeat losses, you naturally begin to resent the game you once loved.’ You replied. There was no point denying the obvious fact that you cabin never had the best of luck when it came to capture the flag, it had always been that way even before you first arrived at camp, but at the time all you truly cared about was getting claimed by your godly parent.
You had only started truly resenting capture the flag after your second or third loss by the Ares cabin. Ever since then you hated the game because each time it ended the same, with your cabin loosing while the opposing cabin mocking you by rubbing their victory in your faces. Luke, much like everyone else, was well aware of this but didn’t feel it was necessary to keep bringing it up, especially not when he was trying to cheer you up somewhat and would try to divulge your attention elsewhere instead.
‘Well nows the chance to change all that.‘ he began. ‘To bring triumph to your cabin and be the one to revel in victory for once.’
You scoffed. ‘Yeah because we’ve had the great Luke Castellan, best swordsman in camp half blood, carry us on his back to our first ever win.’ You said bitterly, looking anywhere else than the boy with the dark, kind eyes. ‘What a joke.’
‘That’s not true.’ Luke tried to argue.
‘Yeah it is, you don’t need to lie in order to save my feelings Luke, I’m not stupid and neither is my cabin, why do you think we look our most happiest when any other cabin that’s not ours is up to play?’ You asked rhetorically, knowing that he very well knew the reason why. Luke, not wanting to wave the white flag of surrender then said, ‘even if that maybe the truth then they’ll also have to recognise that out of your entire cabin, you are the most determined and hardworking even in the most dire of circumstances.’ You could only look at him with an unreadable expression as Luke continued his speech.
‘Even when you know you’ve already lost, you still give it your all to make even the slightest bit of change. If it was anybody else, they would just give up but not you, not my y/n.’ Luke said fondly as he clasped one of his hands with your own, smiling softly when you squeezed his hand. ‘You’re too stubborn to accept defeat unless all other options were exhausted. An admirable trait to have if you ask me.’ You chuckled, feeling somewhat better from his words, not entirely but it was better than sulking the rest of the night and well into the next morning.
‘Some people would call that desperation to win.’ You told him as he shrugged his shoulders. ‘Then they’ve obviously never had to fight for something they always wanted but could never have.’ He replied oddly serious, looking at you intently as he said those words; which made you wonder if you were still talking about the same thing. ‘What do you mean by that-‘ before you could finish, Luke stood up abruptly, pulling you up with him as a result of your hands still being firmly clasped with one another. ‘Give me a warning before you pull that shit again, yeah?’ You said, smacking his arm lightly, causing him to laugh.
‘I’ll take that into consideration for next time, but we should probably try and get as much sleep as we can so we don’t look like the walking dead before the game even begins.’ He playfully chided and it felt more of an excuse as to avoid having a deeper conversation about something, but you were already staring to feel the effects from that mornings activities beginning to weigh on you as you tried to bite back a yawn.
‘I second that decision.’ You said, tugging your hand from his own, feeling Luke’s hesitance in letting go and thinking nothing of it other than something your mind made up as you began to depart for your cabin. ‘I shall see you bright and early tomorrow, will I?’ You questioned.
‘Yes but you better not try and wake me up earlier than necessary like last time.’ Luke replied as you made a face. ‘Me? Prank you? I would never.’ You said dramatically at the accusation being thrown your way, seeing you get back to your old self was enough to reassure Luke that you’d be more then ready for tomorrow as he crossed his arms over his chest, brow raised as he smirked. ‘Oh yeah? How do I know you and the Stoll brothers haven’t done something to my bed back at the Hermes cabin, hmmm?’
‘You’ll just have to take my word for it that I don’t have any connections in any one of their pranks that may happen tomorrow, and if they tell you otherwise, they’re dead wrong.’ You said before disappearing up the trail towards your cabin, leaving Luke to watch on as he chuckles to himself. ‘Guess we’ll have to wait and see.’
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