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I'd still trust you with my life doctor tbh

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"you should be at the club" I should be working on my fanfic

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My parents have a pumpkin in their front yard that's made of idk, solid concrete or iron or both, it's real heavy.

It's so heavy that it's actually a jack o lantern and we just turn it around so it's only a pumpkin when it's not Halloween. It's too heavy to put away.

Every time I've seen it recently I'm like, "soon you may see the world again."

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They’re all so ridiculous I love them

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"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

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kissing you on the forehead

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in reference to this, I want to see his (Bingge's) ass fall the fuck apart.

I've been letting this one stew for a bit- cut for length and Bingge being just a little bit of a horndog.

Master Shen Yuan had taken one look at him and sighed. "How'd you even find that plant to get poisoned? Isn't it extinct?"

Before he could explain though- he had an excuse all lined up- Master Shen took his hand and pulled him into the tiny hut he lived in.

Luo Binghe took in all the details he could, the complete lack of a kitchen, the expanding stacks of books scattered around, the new paintings drying by the window.

"Lay down on the bed, face down." Master Shen instructed. "I should really get a table for this but I don't have room..."

Luo Binghe did as instructed, this was not his first time receiving treatment from Master Shen so he was expecting the smaller man to hop up onto the bed beside him, kneeling by his hip. The first time this had happened he'd nearly made a fool of himself before he realized something very important.

Master Shen appeared to not know what sex was. Well he knew, like, mechanically how it was done. But he seemed to have no desire to have any himself.

It was driving Luo Binghe crazy. The man was beautiful and kind and Luo Binghe would have very much liked to take him to bed, but he responded to flirting with deflection or not at all and walking around shirtless didn't work either...

Master Shen started digging his fingers into Luo Binghe's stiff shoulder muscles and he melted. He groaned in appreciation too which earned him a maddening little huff and a gentle admonishment that he was too tense.

The massage continued until Luo Binghe felt like he was truly going to melt into the bed. He was contemplating rolling over and pulling Shen Yuan into a kiss when short blunt human nails scratched hard against the nape of his neck. The feeling sent shivers through his whole body, washing away the lingering poison in a gentle roll of bright soothing qi.

"There we go," Master Shen said. "Now you stay there and relax for a bit while I go get tea started. I think I still have some berries too if you're hungry."

Master Shen's little hut didn't have a kitchen, any cooking was done on the fire outside and even then Master Shen seemed to still be relying primarily on inedia. Luo Binghe had only seen him drink tea and eat the local wild fruits.

Master Shen climbed off the bed, briefly revealing his bare feet as he did. Master Shen did not wear shoes. A moment later Luo Binghe was alone in the hut. Though not as alone as he would have liked- the door was partially open and Master Shen was right outside. Well within earshot.

He laid there, enjoying his relaxed muscles and letting his blood mites take care of his erection. He didn't want to scare the healer off. In a minute once he was in control of himself he'd go outside and present Master Shen with the food he'd made and packed away especially for this occasion. The man deserved it for assisting Luo Binghe so much.

Maybe he'd also offer to provide other essentials to Master Shen tonight. Luo Binghe didn't object to the plain white, semi-transparent layers that made up Master Shen's entire wardrobe (the man only ever wore two layers, and seemed unaware he was scandalously underdressed) but Master Shen deserved only the finest lightest robes- which Luo Binghe could provide him with. Perhaps shoes too? Though again Luo Binghe didn't mind that Master Shen currently did without...

Really while the mountainside hut was charming it wasn't fit for an immortal of Master Shen's quality. Maybe Luo Binghe could assist in a remodel? Or a relocation? There were a set of rooms in his palace that would suit Master Shen perfectly.

But no need to rush things.

Luo Binghe took a deep breath, made extra sure he was properly composed, and got up to head outside and help get the kettle boiling.

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ur blog is really cool <3

Thanks!

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from The Memory Palace, by Nate DiMeo

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is he…… you know….. [imitates crab claws]……. from Maryland?

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dumb argument with a friend, so

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I just think if Shen Jiu and Tianlang Jun got together TLJ would call SJ vicious and greedy with hearts in his eyes and it would fix SJ a little.

SJ: I'm the worst.

TLJ: That's hot.

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Prompt request Tianjiu maybe with BingYuan or bby Binghe. PS all the congratulations for 900 followers.

That's HIS family now!! Thanks for the rq!! :>

[ID: A Scum Villain Doodle. SJ!Shen Qingqiu angrily points at someone off-screen with one hand as he holds a swaddled baby!Luo Binghe to his chest. The swaddle also tied around himself. His normally green hairpin ribbon has been changed to red. LBH with a teary sad expression clings to SQQ. Behind them, Tianlang Jun looks at SQQ with an adoring expression as he brings up his hands to his own face as if cooing. End ID]

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got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes