#but make out scenes may not be for everyone soooooo

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Touch-Starved (canon)

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otherwise known as; the part where The Puppetmaster finds out he has THE FEELINGS(™, patent pending) for the Combat Harlequin. lmfao

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"Almost..." His hand trembled at the last piece required. He carefully slotted the optics in place, and twisted the eye multiple times to stick it in place. Within moments, he steps back, and Bubble flared up alive again, checking out his new, updated vision. “Wow! I can see more colors now!” The Blimp spun in place.

“Those new eyes should allow you to broadcast anything you see to me, if I so wished.” He explains, pulling out a small, thin black screen from one of the the desk’s many compartment. He switches it on, and Bubble’s eyes suddenly have a tiny red dot blinking in the middle of it.

So far, so good. The device was working as intended and he could see the top of his dentures from Bubble’s perspective, making Caine grin proudly.

“You may proceed to do your chores once more, the upgrades are done.” He sends the blimp to his merry way, and Bubble only nods before turning away to make his way out of the office. He leans back with a content sigh and closed eyes, satisfied with the work done for the day.

At that very moment, Pomni also opens the door.

She looked… disheveled, to say the least.

“Oh hey Pomni!” The butler blimp greeted with his usual reply. The Harlequin only sent him a look of acknowledgement, knowing that it’s useless to try to spark up a conversation, as Bubble was already making his way out.

Caine blinked once, and then he blinked twice just to make sure he’s seeing things right.

Was she always this… dazzling? Literally? He could see sparkles forming everywhere.

She flipped her hair in a messy attempt to get rid of the strands currently stuck to the skin of her nape. Her trademark golden ponytail missing, most likely a B.O.S.S.’s doing. She made her way to Caine’s desk and he swears he could feel his heart beat faster and faster with each step she took. The Harlequin’s trademark squinted brows with half-lidded eyes meeting his own wide stare, a gaze that would typically make any person with a still-functioning sanity cower in fear.

She took a seat on his desk with her legs crossed and her back turned against him and leaning on her right arm, as she usually did.

“Here’s the die you asked for. Took me a bit, but still got the job done.” She checked her left arm for damages after she placed the multi-colored puppet heart in front of him, while she flashed her teeth with a victorious, smug smile. His words are caught in his throat and her entirety shines too brightly for him. He couldn’t understand it.

Why… did she seem like a flame, and he felt like an unsuspecting moth, drawn to her light?

He shook his head clear and forced his stare away from her direction, clearing his throat while clutching the die. “I-I see, thank you, Pomni. You-you’ve done… a… wonderful…” Her hand grasped his own and his heart leapt at his own throat. Her synthetic, calloused fingers felt so rough, yet so gentle against his own gloved ones that he considered taking them off.

“...j-job.” His breath hitched as he struggled to finish the end of his sentence, unable to tear his attention away from her eyes. He found himself gawking at her intense, golden eye matched with blue and red pinwheel ones.

“Aren't you forgetting something, Puppetmaster?” Her expression questioning, yet with a slight and subtle undertone of mischief glinted at her optics. 

He couldn’t speak. He struggled to form coherent words. It felt like he was being strangled by an unknown force clutching at his neck, yet there was clearly no malice behind it. 

“Wh… What am I forgetting…?” He asked in such a feeble tone that made her chuckle in such a low rumbling tone, snaring his full attention.

“Well, I think that I deserve a reward for my services. Don’t you think?” She stands up. Warm hands suddenly felt so cold and empty, and already he missed the warmth present just about a second ago. The Harlequin made her way towards him as he spun his chair to meet her halfway. Hand at her hips as she towered over his sitting form. He’s all of a sudden clutching at the armrest so intensely.

“Y-yes, of course! H-how could I forget!” He nervously chuckles, he would pull on his collar right about now. “What is it you wish to be rewarded with?”

He offers her his best smile, and she giggles as she shakes her head. Without any warning, she took a seat on his lap, and he went frozen. As if making one single move would shatter the very fabric of the universe. She leaned her head to his shoulder, fiddling with the collar of his shirt then her fingers trailed onto the underside of his chin to make him look at her. He shivered from the contact.

“You.”

He trembled as his face warmed up to uncontrollable degrees, and produced visible heat waves. Not even his self-installed coolants were helping him tone down the sudden rise in his body temperature in the slightest. He couldn’t control his shakes, making the Harlequin smirk, knowing that she had the Puppetmaster all wrapped around her finger.

He didn’t know what came over him, because now his own hands were making their way onto her thighs to pull her closer to him entirely, the other shakingly placing itself onto her shoulders and he could feel the way she sighs contentedly against his touch. He exhales a shaky breath himself, attempting to steel himself.

“M-my dear, a-are you positive that… that is what you’d like?”

It was better to be safe than sorry. She sits up straight, and for the first time, he regrets ever asking that question in the first place.

“Actually…” Her voice trails off playfully, while she stands up. “... Maybe I’d like something more.”

It only took her a finger underneath his chin to pull him as she leads him to a nearby wall. As if his own body had a mind of it’s own, he pins her in place with both arms adjacent to her head. His face leans in closer and closer to her with eyes closed, and she’s leaning up close to him, fully ready to accept his advances.

Pomni’s soft lips met his teeth, and Caine could smell the faint traces of grass and sweat rolling down from her synthetic skin, evident of her hardships from the recent battle. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his loops around her waist to pull her closer, while the other cups at her face intensely. He savored her mouth as their breathing became heavy and fast-paced, only breaking apart for a mere second, gasping for air before delving back in to their desires.

Desire…

Quite the accurate depiction of how Caine truly felt for the Harlequin at this moment. He couldn’t quite decipher when this had started, though.

As if her intentions were to pry him away from his overbearing and unnecessary thoughts, Pomni pushed him away to pin him to the wall this time, continuing the liplock. He grunts from the impact, but gladly returns her enthusiasm with fervor as he loops his arm around her back, pulling her flush to him once more. Her hands made their way to the lower sides of his jaw to caress so gently, and he finds himself melting at every contact their touches made.

Without breaking the teeth-on-lip-lock, he steered their bodies onto the direction of his desk, leaving the Harlequin laying on it as he loomed over her, ravaging her mouth once more like the touch-starved man he was. He adjusted her thighs just enough to make room for him without making the position uncomfortable for the both of them, their heated make out session felt like it could go on forever as he gripped her waist tightly.

It felt like if he let her go, she would disappear all of a sudden. And he didn’t want that.

He made sure to not lean too much of his body weight onto her by propping himself up with his elbows, both hands find themselves cupping her face to keep her in place as her hands trailed all the way up from the lower arms to his shoulders to do the same to him. He broke the kiss to gasp for air, a string of saliva being the clear proof of their heated action, but quickly delved back into the riveting sensations of their activity. 

Her touch against him were like magic; every contact sent shivers and jolts down his spine as she switched from holding his shoulders to holding his chest just above where a collarbone would traditionally be, pushing him away to let herself up. For a nanosecond he thought that maybe he went a little too far with his advances, until she disproved his theory by shoving him to one of the nearby long couches, only a pillow to cushion and soften his landing onto the furniture.

Quickly making up for lost time and contact, she quickly crawls to straddle his waist, clutching the back of his head to make him look at her, and her only. His hand found itself gripping at the back of her waist tightly once more, the other clutching her own head just to make sure she’s still there with him. Both were panting heavily, the room temperature very much heated as a result of their affairs.

His eyes looked at her longingly as he breathed heavily. “Pomni… I… I don’t think I want this to end.”

She flashed him a consoling smile.

The alarm rings, deafening the surroundings as he jolts awake, falling from his chair comically with a loud, slightly high-pitched scream emitting from his throat. He groans from the headache he had received from the impact to the ground, clutching at the top sides of his jaw, as he leans his head onto the desk for support.

His false heart was beating faster than when one would run; His face was flushed and he frustratingly ignores the heat from the rest of his body with a grumble.

He shifts his eyes to look around. Nothing’s changed. Everything was the same since Bubble left to do his daily chores.

He shakes his head and slams his face down onto the elegant desk, groaning depressingly and half-sobbing.

What the fuck? Was… WAS IT ALL JUST A DAMN DREAM!?

Oh, he could scream and cry into a pillow right about now. But the panicked angry screaming of a certain someone being bothered by the recent addition; the Ragdoll Mannequin that was “Ragatha”, suddenly grabs his attention. Now, he’s looking outside into the manor grounds from his office’s windows with a tired and questioning gaze.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

“But Mistress! You still haven’t tried out my trademark cookie recipe!! It’s GUARANTEED to be your instant favorite!”

“STOP CALLING ME MISTRESS! FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON’T CARE, GET THE FUCK AWAY-”

Caine sighed disappointingly to himself, dragging his hand across his eyes.

God fucking dammit. He actually feels something for her.

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I would say I'm sorry, but we all know I'm not. :)

[thestarfishface]

Hello my friends I have been tired and stressed bc of work and moving and my computer exploding, and therefore have not drawn for funsies in a few weeks. I am attempting to remedy this. Behold: Thursday game doodles.

Context:

Pic 1: Parallels between Verity's old and current party, now that the squad is all together! Mira and Barbfin, Ani and Darius, Veil and Willow, and then Verity and Rodin being Awkward off to the side

Pic 2: Soooooo Verity and Rodin had a bit of a fight in the most recent session, that may or may not have ended with Verity literally destroying his paladin's oath with a hammer.

He's been a vengeance paladin since she died, and swore to kill the BBEG (who was responsible for her death and fucked over the old party and did a bunch of other Bad Shit), and in a recent session lured him (and his entire army) out so he could, and I quote, "Hit him in the face with a hammer".

Verity was v frustrated by this, saying it was reckless and stupid to put his life (and everyone else's) in danger by trying to lure him out with no kind of escape plan or backup (R: "I have my own armies and diplomatic connections and my entire spy network!" V: "Cool, WHERE WERE THEY TODAY???"), and he said he's been following the plan he "carved into stone" 150 years ago when he first took his vengeance oath. Conveniently, said stone was hanging on the wall of the room they were arguing in.

Verity says that plans can change, stone can be broken, and that just bc something is "carved into stone" doesn't mean it has to be permanent- especially since they have the entire old party back now and they have more hope now than they ever did. However, Rodin is stubborn that he's not going to change his entire game plan just bc there's slightly more hope than there was a few months ago- we found out during the same session he's only got a few months left to live, and if he's going to die he's going to take out the BBEG and fulfill his revenge as his final act.

Verity, though, is adamant that, with the combined help of both the old party and her new friends, they can make him young again and get a "second chance" at the adventures they wanted as kids- and grabs one of his blacksmithing hammers. She threatens to break the oath stone, but is hesitant at first bc it's obviously important to him. And then he says:

"Go on, break it then. Or admit that I'm right."

So she uses the hammer and divine smite on the giant slab of granite, carved with both his vengeance paladin oath and his plan to take out the BBEG, shatters it, and says he needs to "write his love on his heart and let THAT be the thing that drives him forward, not some stupid stone".

So Verity is now an oathbreaker but not in the way you'd expect lol.

Expect more doodles on this topic bc it was ONE HELL OF A SCENE and I am very sad we don't stream our Thursday game bc I would commit so many crimes to have a recording of it ;-;

Bonus:

[fitzjamesbulletwound]

hey guys, while i was rewatching for my fitzier post i made several new joplittle discoveries as well that i figured i would share! these are not going to be in order but i’ll make sure to denote which episode and which scene they happen in as best I can :) also this isn't nearly as long as the other post but here ya go:

episode 5: during crozier’s dry out speech there’s a moment i missed the first time around because jopson is in the foreground in it and pretty blurry but you can still see his eyes movements. we don’t get ned’s perspective but jopson looks at him for a long time while crozier’s talking- it starts when crozier is saying “i’m going to be unwell gentlemen”

episode 7: more from the promotion scene! mostly that EVERYONE at the table looks for edward’s reaction, including fitzjames, as if they’re not surprised that he was the happiest for jopson and were expecting it. i also noticed two very insane eye journeys while jopson is shaking everyone’s hands- the first was that fitzjames is looking at crozier through the space between edward and jopson, smiling at him, but then he tilts his eyes to edward and then to jopson or maybe in the reverse order i don’t remember, and then he looks down, still smiling and also! when jopson shakes jirv and dundy’s hands, his eyes flit between them and the letter that he can’t stop reading but before he shakes edward’s hand, he kind of goes still, looks down, then looks up at edward and holds his gaze the whole time they’re touching. also i know edward takes his glove off to shake his hand to be polite but they have the only skin to skin contact which is soooooo

episode 8: i sometimes wonder if the beginning of the breakdown in joplittle (it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s f) can be attributed to their differences of opinion towards hickey and the mutiny situation- edward is doubtful and almost defensive of hickey (i think this is more his defense of hodgson and his grief at jirv’s death coming through) and jopson is the most intense and full of rage we’ve ever seen him when addressing hickey but also in the way he looks at edward when ned starts fucking up. 

episode 3: just a small thing but i noticed that jirv and hodgson look to edward when jopson walks in, similar to the jop promotion scene when everyone looks to edward first for a reaction. also i may have said this in my first post but it bears repeating the biiiig inhale exhale ned does when jop walks in and the slight smile and head inclination that jop gives him ahhhha;ldskjfls

episode 10- when dundy says they’ll leave anyone behind who can’t walk to a boat, that’s when edward gets ANGRY, and we never see him like that. he references a conversation that jopson was present for, reminding dundy of his presence there and that the statement applied to him too. I KNOW he was thinking of jopson there I fucking know it. he was furious dundy would leave him behind and in the script it specifically says that he is disgusted. 

episode 8: in the script they go to arrest hickey and sol together, you can kinda see them start to move off together when crozier tells them to go :) 

episode 6: THE joplittle look… so after edward escorts dundy in and tells the men to gather round, he goes over to specifically stand with jopson while jopson eats and ned is drinking something. like he chose to go stand with him while he was eating and ned is listening to dundy and they’re just sharing a little moment together until the bell rings. honestly when jopson is walking away and ned is watching him, i’m starting to wonder if that angry look is for crozier on jopson’s behalf (and just in general because of the situation) rather than at hickey, or maybe a little of both. the look on his face when he watches jopson walk away is very interesting to say the least

that’s all for now! just some extra stuff i thought we all might want to chew on

[miamignonette]

i want to talk about the cult members in the yj pilot and which characters i think are which. this post is going to have some major spoilers from leaked bts pictures, but some of these theories are just speculation! beware!

so we have two confirmed identities, misty (she’s the only one we’ve seen taking off her mask) and taissa judging by this bts picture (also thanks to sukisslove on tiktok for making the comparison!)

the rest are going to be my personal theories!

we have this picture of three of the costumes in more detail, which i think is going to be from s3? so while the feast scene in ep1 was filmed with extras and we can’t determine who they are based on any visible facial features, this picture is probably of the actors in costume.

the girl in the middle HAS to be lottie. look at her face!!

we can’t see much, but those have to be lottie’s eyes and eyebrows. plus, courtney eaton is pretty tall and this girl is much taller than the rabbit. so aside from lottie and tai, the only one i can’t really guess with any confidence is the rabbit (who, by the way, is so extra scary to me for some reason 😭). it could very well be shauna, who was the closest to jackie, who is associated with rabbits (her mom says she loved rabbits and gives shauna a little porcelain rabbit for jackie’s birthday), but i think there’s a good chance that shauna is actually someone else. we’ll put a pin in that. so, who IS the rabbit? idk. we don’t have enough information on that, aside from the fact that she’s shorter than lottie and tai. for now i’m going to guess that it’s melissa, because she’s firmly in shauna’s corner and people are speculating that shauna is kind of using her as a stand-in for jackie.

anyways, if the girl with the raccoon pelt is lottie, who is this girl with long, dark hair?

it’s looking like melissa is going to be the eighth survivor (assuming shauna’s stalker is the eighth, and we saw that they had blonde hair) so let’s eliminate her, gen, mari, and one of the new girls who i think is named robin because the last three would be dead by this point. this could be a stretch but i’m going to say for now that it’s natalie and her roots have fully grown out. this might be unrealistic because she still has a decent amount of blonde hair left in the summer and it may not grow out completely by the winter, but her hair would probably be roughly the same length. she could be shauna, but shauna’s hair is a bit lighter, and i still think that shauna might be someone else.

everyone sitting on the antler queen’s other side has most, if not all, of their faces covered, so these are assumptions based on basically nothing. i’ll just guess for now that van is the one with their entire face covered and travis is the one sitting next to her. i know i said that the extra’s features can’t really be used as an indicator of the character they’re playing, but i think it’s fair enough to say that if those are the last two we’re left with then the one with darker skin has to be travis. i don’t think they would have someone with darker skin play van especially since that’s the one with part of their face exposed. i think what we can see of the face looks more feminine, but we already know who taissa is.

soooooo let’s talk about the antler queen!! as you may have guessed via the process of elimination, i think she may be shauna, and i feel like it makes sense. shauna is arguably the main character since we definitely follow her the most particularly in the adult timeline, and we know that she wants to take natalie’s place as the leader. i believe wholeheartedly that the position of the queen is something that’s either taken or passed around, and shauna wants to take it. i think that when the survivors split off into two groups, shauna will be leading one of those groups and eventually when they come back together she’ll become THE leader. and it just makes a lot of sense to me thematically! but the main reason that i think it could be shauna is this picture (courtesy of mattvews on twitter!)

look at the costume sophie is wearing!! that’s a horn/bone attached to the shoulder, exactly like the antler queen’s outfit. now, i guess it’s possible that the costume is also passed to whoever takes the title. i could buy that. but idk, this feels big. so based on all that, here’s the lineup (excluding misty who isn’t in the shot)

i know i’m making A LOT of big assumptions. melissa may not be the eighth survivor, and she might not be shauna’s blonde stalker. mari could be in the place i assigned to natalie, since her hair would match much better and it’s possible that gen is the pit girl instead (during the game of capture the bone mari was the decoy when gen was the one who actually had the bone). honestly as i’ve been writing the post i’ve started to convince myself that this is mari because i’m just not sure that a character who JUST became important would be part of the plan the writers clearly had from the beginning. so here’s the other option i’ll propose

this one probably makes more logical sense, and this is the outcome i’d prefer. in the adult timeline taissa says something about how she continues to support natalie because of what she did for them out there, which might mean that she did something to save them that cemented herself as their rightful leader. shauna is the rabbit, tying her to jackie, and mari is the pit girl decoy, but this doesn’t explain shauna’s antler queen-esque outfit in the bts pic. that’s really the only discrepancy i can think of, but it’s kind of a big one imo, unless the costume really is passed on and natalie is the last girl to wear it. i want to hear people’s thoughts though!! thanks for reading my unnecessarily long essay

[erraticalart]

Saw Fortress II

Well, is this what you've been waiting for?

So, as some of you may or may not know, Saw is getting a new movie, Saw X, in two days and I'm so excited for it to come out! I decided to pay tribute to this movie by making a crossover between Saw and, of course, Team Fortress 2. I've been getting interested and invested in the Saw franchise, from its story to the characters and especially the creative but deadly traps. Took me about 22 days to create as I had classes and needed to take breaks every once in a while, but I finally finished it and presented it to my brother as a birthday gift (as well as an official Fallout cookbook).

Now, for the fans of both Saw and TF2, I'll explain the reason why I chose the characters and their designated roles. It's time to play a game.

Character Comparison and Roles

Warning: Spoilers for the Saw franchise

RED Engineer: John Kramer aka Jigsaw - Well it's pretty much obvious why. They're both engineers. They both are talented in creating many different unique contraptions that are beneficial, but deadly and dangerous. Engie also has his morals, although it's way different from John's. Let's not forget that Engie can be somewhat a little sadistic and loves seeing his enemies go down, although John hates sadistic people despite the irony in his traps. Also, are we gonna ignore his Gunslinger taunt kill and his sinister, evil laugh? I'm not sure if Engie should have the Gunslinger with him, but I think it would be pretty cool to have it on him. Maybe in this version when he attempts to commit suicide and fails, but all he's left is a completely maimed hand, he cuts it off entirely and replaces it. It would be a pretty cool backstory as to why he has it and would make a really cool reveal to show to the audience. I wonder what Engie sounds like saying the iconic line "Game Over"?

BLU Medic: Dr. Lawrence Gordon - It's also pretty obvious why. He's a doctor. (Can you guess the reference?) Dr. Gordon is my favorite character in the series, and I love seeing the change and progress in his character from a doctor and trap victim in the first Saw film to John's favorable accomplice and in his words, "My greatest asset" in Saw 3D/Saw: The Final Chapter/ Saw VII (Yeah, I can't believe that movie has multiple names). In a way, it makes sense to have Medic as Dr. Gordon because just like how it was shown at the end of Saw VII that he and John worked great together, Medic and Engie are also seen working together in Expiration Date as lab partners. They both would work great as an amazing sadistic duo. Also, I think it's kind of cute to have Engie give Medic a prosthetic foot after he too cuts it off entirely. Not only would it make sense because Engie knows a thing or two about prosthetics, but it would show that Medic and Engie both have something in common: cut off what's unnecessary to help with your survival. Medic would also try to justify and reason Engie's actions. Also, I love Dr. Gordon's "Game Over" line, it's soooooo good!!! It's my personal favorite (Of course nothing beats John's iconic classic version). I could totally imagine how great Medic would sound saying that line!

BLU Spy: Detective Lieutenant Mark Hoffman - Ok, this is where things start to get a little interesting. Hoffman became John's accomplice after replicating his ideas and making his own traps that John never made himself. In a way, he's becoming Jigsaw. Just like how Spy can become and replicate any class, Hoffman also became more mysterious and secretive to his fellow colleagues and tried to frame Special Agent Peter Strahm as Jigsaw. In the end, when he gets caught, he goes against everyone and executes them, so the secret never comes out. Also, another reason why Spy is Hoffman and please tell me if I'm not the only one here who thought this when watching Saw: Did anyone else get Hoffman and Strahm mixed up because they almost look like the same person and it's always confusing when there's a scene that focuses on one of them but it's actually the other? I decided to have two Spies in the story with the BLU Spy as Hoffman and the RED Spy as Strahm since they look the same minus the color.

Miss Pauling: Amanda Young - You're probably thinking, "Why her? Is it because she just so happens to be female and I just filled her in that role?" Well yes, but actually no. It's because Amanda was very loyal to John, looking up to him, defending him constantly, and was very close to him. Miss Pauling fits that role when it comes to the Administrator, but here she's loyal to Engie. I feel like she likes Engie the most out of any other class, so she would definitely help him out as well as get advice from him. She also can get shit done when being asked to accomplish a task. Sadly, we know what's to come for Amanda. Just like how in the comics Miss Pauling fails to bring the Australium, Amanda fails in John's tasks as he reveals to her that she's part of another game. I do feel like Miss Pauling was stuck playing around in the Administrator's game and it was also implied that every year the Administrator sends people to assassinate her to see if she succeeds as if it's an employee review. So, yeah, Miss Pauling and Amanda both are stuck in pretty tight situations.

RED Pyro: Billy the Puppet - Ah, yes, who could we ever forget? The main icon of the series. Both Pyro and Billy have terrifying appearances that'll leave you quivering on sleepless nights. I used to fear Billy as a kid, but now I see him as endearing and strangely, but freakishly, adorable. Pyro is freaky-looking, but he's such an adorable bundle of flames. I could definitely imagine seeing Pyro riding on Billy's iconic tricycle. That would be so funny, cute, and scary. As for Pyro's voice, since Billy is voiced by John (and Hoffman, I think? Idk), I'm not sure if Engie (or Spy) should voice Pyro since Pyro speaks in muffles. Maybe they should, idk. I also don't know if Pyro should speak in mumbles from time to time or whether he should have the ability to move and just walk around or just remain seated. And, of course, I don't know if Pyro should do his iconic laugh (maybe sometimes, idk). What I do know however is that Pyro should definitely have the iconic Billy laugh.

RED Balloonicorn/The Combustible Cutie Cosmetic (Yeah, I know it's pink, but it's the RED team's version which is why it's pink): Pighead Mask - Oink! Or in this case, Neigh! The mask that John and his accomplices dress up as with the iconic robe (though I'm not sure if this robe should remain red and black or pink and black, maybe the first option should be for Engie since he's the leader while the accomplices get the latter, or not, maybe they should match Engie, idk). At first, I chose Balloonicorn since it's related to Pyro and I know he'll love seeing everyone dress up as one, but then I remembered that there's a cosmetic for Pyro as a mask called "The Combustible Cutie" that resembles Balloonicorn, and boy does that mask look freaking scary!!! It's really fitting for both Saw and TF2 as a whole! It's pretty funny and scary to imagine getting kidnapped by a herd of pink unicorns all because you've been very naughty.

I hope fans of Saw and Team Fortress 2 enjoy this lovely piece of fanart as this has become one of my all-time favorites to create. I was also listening to the Saw soundtrack specifically the Zepp/Main Saw Themes. My favorite being, of course, "Hello Zepp". It fits Engie and John's character theme even though it's Zepp's (although you can argue that it IS John's since it's his perspective since he's saying hello, which I agree). But my actual favorite is "Zepp Overture" because to me it sounds like a holy church. I especially like the way the string instruments sound. Yeah, I know you can argue that Dr. Gordon has a theme at the end of Saw VII called "Dr. Gordon Montage" and "The Final Zepp" but to me, I think this theme fits Medic the best because, y'know, he replicates that sound by playing an actual saw when you taunt which is both funny and adorable. And it really fits his character to be seen as a holier-than-thou and especially a God. This might also fit Spy, but idk. I'm not sure which themes work for Spy and Miss Pauling or even Pyro (if you want Pyro and Engie to share the same theme, then that's fine by me). I might need to go back and listen to all of them depending on the movies that Hoffman and Amanda appear in. Maybe some of you can suggest one. But anyway, please go listen to the Saw soundtrack, especially the Zepp/Main Saw Themes, it's soooooo good!!! I might as well argue that it's one of, if not, THE best horror themes out there!!!

Here's a link to listen to it while you look at the art or whether you are interested in the Saw series and its music:

Welp, like I said before, I hope you fans enjoy it!!! I just can't' wait for Saw X to come out soon on September 29!!! I just hope and pray the movie is good though. Well, let's just wait and see. But until then,

GAME OVER!

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

Can you recommend me some good fics where Barry Allen gets kidnapped :) since in one of your tags you said you read a lot of them lol

I read them, I write them, I live and breathe them. Absolutely anon, allow me to dive into my bookmarks.

Just a reminder, always be sure to check the tags and warnings to know what you're getting into. Stay safe out there folks!

Juncture by @pennflinn may be my favorite fic of all time. Technically he gets kidnapped before the story's events but that's because it's an alternate ending to Escape from Earth-2 (and he is held captive for pretty much the entire fic so). The whump is SUPREME and the overall story is so well written. I will always recommend this fic.

One Second by pennflinn. Another one by penn because she is an incredible writer and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS FIC!! It takes my favorite premise for a fic "What if Barry was kidnapped in this scene/episode when he wasn't in canon!" and brings it to a WHOLE nother level. This one is diverges from 1x14 "Fallout" where, instead of everyone getting away semi-safely, Eiling kidnaps Barry and whump ensures. BUT there's another twist to this fic that (in my opinion) makes it stand out from many others-- every once in a while, there's a glimpse of a parallel universe where the events were different and let's just say some of those universes h u r t. Also, I wanted to kill Eiling so bad after reading this that I wrote a ficlet with the sole purpose of murdering him :) Anyways, go read; it's amazing.

Miles Through The Night by @hedgiwithapen. First off, this is an everyone whump fic, Barry is not the only one who is kidnapped but 1. IT HURTS GODS IT HURTS SO BAD I'M DYING. 2. The writing is spectacular, all the characters are super well done, and the story is INTENSE I'M STILL DYING SORRY I'LL STOP NOW. In this one-- actually nvm, the actual summary will do it justice. "With Eobard Thawne dead, life in Central City can go back to normalish. But Barry’s greatest enemy is not a speedster from the future fixated on him, and Eobard’s threat may have been the only thing keeping Team Flash safe from someone who doesn’t consider any meta to be human." THAT'S RIGHT-- AN EILING FIC! Just. Go read it, it's so good and I'm dying.

Lightning Bug by Hedgi. The writing in this was SUPERB and Eiling is a fucking bastard as always (count your days general.). And this time we have another speedster in the mix-- a toddler Wally! Ngl, I just reread this while getting the link and it was SO GOOD-- and once again my words can't seem to do it justice so I'll leave you with the summary "Months after the defeat of Zoom, Barry's main concern (aside from the odd metahuman attack) is helping Joe and Iris raise the four and a half year old Speedster Wally West, Cisco-named "Lightning Bug." And while that's hard, it's nice to have this speedster as family, not an enemy. Things are pretty easy.

Unfortunately, that doesn't last. After all, General Eiling's deal was only good for as long as their mutual enemies were still a threat." Eiling needs to die in a ditch as you can see, but there's some really sweet whump in this and it's because of him soooooo-- anyways, go read; it was fantastic.

Can’t Take That Away From Me by SophiaCatherine (or @sophiainspace on here). DUDE. DUDE DUDE DUDE-- I LOVE THIS FIC. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC. EVen once the whump passes, the A N G S T is so delicious! From the beginning of the first chapter alone; you'll see the sweet whump AND angst this fic has in store. Oh, and it's Coldflash which I somehow forgot to mention even though that's a foundation of the entire fic lmao. I love it, go read. Also, there is a sequel but it's not Barry being whumped this time... double also; there's a prequel and it's really sweet (no whump in that one fyi)

I Never Told Him by messedupstargazer. I am SCREAMING. THIS. FIC. Fyi, it's Coldflash. SO MUCH ANGST THE WHUMP-- IT'S SO GOOD I HAVE NO WORDS. DYING DYING DYING I AM DEAD I HAVE PERISHED.

Looking through all of these at once has filled me with many emotions and I apologize if some parts were incoherent. I'm probably missing a few and may add more as I find them but for now I'll finish with these two I wrote.

12 hours Barry's kidnapped before the events of the story but I think it still counts. He's trapped in Zoom's lair and forced to run for twelve hours every day :)

Trophy this is my beloved and the entire fic is a Barry whump fest (and angst. a lot of angst.). (or will be, There's one chapter posted atm) Technically we haven't seen the kidnapping yet but in the first scene he is in a cell so. Premise is that Zoom wins in the season 2 finale and everything goes to hell from there. I do feel obligated to warn though that there's not a happy ending for this one.

Thanks for asking! I'm always eager to share Barry whump! :D

[zhouxiangs]

i saw that you're currently reading my stand-in novel but you're not really spoiling anything. how are you finding it so far if i may ask? is it as angsty as people say it is?

(i waited until the end of the day to answer this because as i thought i've already finished the novel, so much for self-restraint lol also sorry this got a bit long... oops?)

i enjoyed it a lot! and it made me get over my reading slump, so i will even excuse it getting into some tropes i'm not particularly fond of at the end. it got cheesy…er, and not even in a way i like. amazingly, that didn't make me like it any less.

from the synopsis of the series and the tags in novel updates (and i only skimmed those because i didn't want to get spoiled) i had a pretty good idea of what the novel was going to be like, which is why i decided not to really liveblog since, transmigration aside, i'd say it's a pretty straightforward story. i could be persuaded to make a recap if there's interest though, since there's still over three weeks left until the series starts airing and i'm probably going to go over everything again and take notes anyway...

and oh, is it angsty! the whole thing hinges on zhou xiang (joe) being a sweet angel baby and yan mingxiu (ming) being a fucking idiot, and it's pretty much what you can expect from any dogblood/makjang with the scum ml, misunderstandings, heartbreak, regrets, etc. i have to say i'm not usually a fan of the misunderstanding trope bc i tend to find it annoying, but as with most tropes i don't particularly enjoy it's because of the way i often see it done. here it was painful for everyone involved, so i really liked it. also, please keep in mind that i'm a huge fan of big character development and characters redeeming themselves, so. there's that. wink wonk. (i've been reading some reviews and think for some people it may be best to know what kind of story this is before going in, other than because of triggers–which, very important if you need them, at least in the novel–because of the whole. scum ml more than anything lol even though yan mingxiu is not that scummy really!)

i love my stories character-driven, so having them being this well fleshed out and compelling was a joy, and being able to see so clearly what both zhou xiang and yan mingxiu were thinking and feeling, sometimes a lot earlier than they themselves could (please bl gods keep at least some of the internal monologue in the series, i am begging), was soooooo ugh. you're supposed to hate yan mingxiu allegedly but i just couldn't, not even in his scum era, because he was so obvious and so oblivious and so set in his own ideas he kept gaslighting himself into not noticing things. this could have gotten frustrating pretty easily, but again, everything feed into the delicious, delicious suffering. that being said, and because it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion... i think it's important to empathise with both of them, or at least sympathise, for maximum enjoyment of all that angst. you cannot cry over yan mingxiu's pain if you want him to get hit by a bus.

oh and the relationships (not only the cp's, though their progression is really good) are very important in this story, which is something i hope we get to see more of in the series because i ended up missing certain side characters in the later chapters. not tan yin though, i hope that fuck ass didn't make it into the series. how is a character so annoying while being in maybe six scenes total.

i can't say if it's good or not but it was extremely enjoyable, zhou xiang is my sweet darling angel baby, yan mingxiu is okay too (if you see me in the trenches defending him in about a month…), and i can't believe i am now, somehow, even more excited for my stand-in.

[unhappy-day-in-hell]

The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 2

We got through the opening monologue and here we are in the show proper. Now, we finally get into the episode itself and explore the boring middle. Everyone ready?

CW: This part will briefly touch on Angel Dust's SA.

Part 1:

Part 2: //

Part 3:

Part 4:

--Aaaa ew there it is. This is the first bit of real animation we get from the show, when Charlie lifts up the key.

Somehow, just this one little motion looks awful. As the key moves with Charlie’s hand, it doesn’t look like it’s physically in the world with her.

The animation department was fucked over so badly. It really, really shows.

--Lilith has been missing for 7 years.

Because of course she has. We can’t make the twists with her character TOO subtle!

This is really just trying to make us feel bad for Charlie, but Charlie and Vaggie’s voices sound so lifeless and disinterested that it elicits no emotion from me. (If I was a new watcher, it probably wouldn’t elicit any emotion from me if anyway, since we’ve JUST met Charlie and we haven’t gotten to know her yet; we have no attachment to her and thus can’t immediately care about her Sad Backstory. Missing Mom is a stock sad backstory anyway. We also don’t care about Lilith enough yet, because she was only a vague figure in a fairytale, we don’t actually KNOW her; in fact they even neglected to tell us what her dream was, or what she actually did in Hell, so we don't even have a vague idea to see her as a GOOD figure. And, if her empowering demons IS the reason for demonkind being so terrible, she may be a terrible person. So her missing status means nothing to us.)

--Soooooo……. The extermination just happened, but we’re not going to see any of its aftermath up close? We’re not going to look at the streets of Hell to see the carnage, or the damage? We’re just getting some overhead shots of the city smoking? Okay.

In the pilot, we had a long sequence where we saw the carnage and destruction the exterminators left behind. It was so much more impactful.

But we’re not doing that here. We’re staying up in this cozy penthouse just looking down at a still image of the city. Which means we’re not going to learn about the world at all. No establishing shots, no interesting or visceral imagery to get under our skin and make us FEEL for the sinners. This is very bad storytelling.

Also: If I didn’t know what the exterminations were like from the pilot, I might not even realize the smoke and fire coming off of the city was meant to be DAMAGE – I might just assume Hell was Just Like That.

Terrible job everyone. Terrible opening sequence.

--Vaggie: I enjoy your theatrics.

But Charlie didn’t do anything…

She didn’t even get to light the fireworks like she did in the pilot, which were the signal that the extermination was over and the sinners could come out.

--We go from the opening lore dump… to even more lore dumping!! Yay!!

This is so boring. It’s boring composition and boring animation and boring dialogue with actors who sound sleepy.

Vaggie and Charlie are sitting in a room talking. They’re not even doing anything interesting to look at. This is telling and not showing.

They mention their love for the kingdom, but again, we don’t have any scenes showing the streets, the deceased, and the normal citizens, which might make the AUDIENCE care about it. As of now, the audience doesn’t care because we aren't seeing anything. Throughout the opening fairytale and up to now, we haven’t learned a single thing about how this version of Hell functions. (And we don’t learn that through the entire episode.)

--This dialogue is also so stilted. “I just hope what I’m trying to do here will work.”

Can you have any personality in your lines at all? In the pilot, Charlie says “I don’t know if I’m going to make a difference, I don’t know what I’m doing”, which is just a bit more personal for her; she wants to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

In the pilot, Charlie’s voice was so much more energetic, and sounded optimistic. Here, yeah she’s SAD and obviously being sad will make her sound softer, but pilot Charlie had a bright, optimistic tone that showed her optimism was unshakable.

--Alastor’s commercial. He really shouldn’t be making this. He’s the radio demon. The conflict is that he doesn’t want to make a TV ad, but was forced into it. This is a dumb conflict. Alastor would never do something he didn’t want to.

Afterwards, the B Plot of the episode will have Vaggie filming a commercial (a second commercial to be better than Alastor’s), and eventually she’ll coerce Alastor into helping her film it. So THAT MEANS Alastor’s first commercial was entirely pointless! Why not streamline this entire B plot? Skip Alastor’s first commercial; the gang gather together and discuss ideas for a commercial; Al is against it, Charlie has too many grand ideas, Vaggie is down to Earth, and Angel offers himself as an actor; then Charlie gets called away, so she gives the responsibility to Vaggie; Vaggie struggles but then Al steps in to help because he knows an empty Hotel will be boring; he then uses his radio powers to create broadcast an advertisement through the airwaves.

Alastor’s voice is also so tame now too. I dislike it heavily. Every line lacks the insane edge it had in the pilot and the radio filter is toned down.

They massacred my fave.

Raggle Fraggle.

--Alastor should never say “daddy issues.” That’s just way too modern. ALSO NOT REALLY? It’s not daddy issues?? If anything, Charlie has talked much more about Lilith in this version, saying it’s her mom’s dream. Daddy Lucy has nothing to do with this. Get your words right, you stupid script.

--The animation is just really bad, especially the part with the rafter falling down from the ceiling.

Also wasn’t it Alastor’s job to use his magic to clean this place up? He did a horrible job.

--Uh huh. We’re continuing the trend of nothing being explained. How the Hotel came to be, and how the crew was amassed, is not going to be explained at all.

We’re dropped in here blind with it already having happened.

It’s true you can’t just recreate the pilot for episode 1, but this is the worst way they could have possibly reintroduced the world.

If you didn’t watch the pilot, then you’d have NO idea what was going on in this place.

--Alastor: So, what do you think?

When I first heard this line it made me sad.

When I hear this line now, it makes me sad.

--Vaggie: I’m sorry, what the fuck was that?

There it is, the unfunny Fuck word being used like a joke.

Pro-tip: just saying the word Fuck does not make a joke. We as humans grow out of this when we stop being high schoolers.

--Why does Alastor look mad when Charlie says the tone of the advertisement is “a bit off?” Nothing should be able to shake him. If anything, he should revel in their discomfort (he reveled in their discomfort in the pilot.) In the pilot, he probably would have made the advertisement like this INTENTIONALLY just to get a reaction out of them and to see them squirm. Here he acts like he wanted them to like it and is upset they don’t.

It makes him look pouty. And making him pouty makes him look weaker.

The heck’s up with this shot? What a weird angle.  

--Alastor hasn’t been active in Hell for some time, huh? It’s because he was hired by Rosie, who is Lilith, who went missing 7 years ago. Viv can’t keep a plot twist secret.

Also, the animation for Alastor when he says he hasn’t been active in some time is weird. It… I wanna say feels kind of noodley? It has a different quality from the rest of the animation.

--Alastor: So I had a little fun with it.

That was a good shot of him passing his microphone from one hand to the next. It’s a second long but I’ll give them that. Maybe Al will get the few scraps of anything decent that come out of this. (Probably not. The leaks say otherwise.)

--Vaggie: well this is NOT what we want to represent us. …. Instead you’re MOCKING us.

These words are oddly stilted again. It’s like when characters speak like they know too much therapy language, when they really shouldn’t.

--Oh Angel. There he is.

….After Viv blew the budget on hiring expensive voice actors, I think all the remaining shoestring budget went into animating him, because he’s way more fluid than the others.

………….Because of course more attention is given to Angel (male) than to Charlie, the actual main (female) character.

--Angel wants to have a porno where he’s sleeping with Alastor. Alastor replies: “Haha. Never going to happen.”

This line lacks any of the manic energy that Alastor had in the pilot – there, when Angel said “I can suck your dick!” Alastor had a short moment where he was shocked, but then he replied with an energetic “HAH! No!” where he still sounded like he was having fun. In Episode One, Alastor sounds tired and annoyed, which takes away his feeling of power. He’s supposed to be this big Overlord; if he had actually laughed heartily and said “~HA HA HA HA! NEVER going to happen, my dear fellow!!~” with oomph, it’d be more in line with how in control he is of everything – but he’s not. He’s whiny. He’s weaker.

This moment shows that OTHER CHARACTERS have the ability to get under his skin when nothing should be able to get under his skin. He's the one who makes everyone else's skin crawl and loves it.

--“This body was MADE to be exploited!”

Alright, show, I’m going to stop you right there.

There's too much to unpack here. People better qualified than me already have.

So let’s begin by saying: Angel being sexual is not the problem. Using sexuality as a coping mechanism is not the problem. However, this crosses the line right from the start.

Angel is the victim of SA, which this has given him trauma. Remember Addict, one of the highest points in Vivzie’s career? Addict showed how BAD he feels by his exploitation; it actually took his situation seriously. At the end of Addict, Angel had frank lyrics where he finally admitted to himself that he was addicted and helpless, and was reluctant but willing to try for something better by staying in the Hotel. Everything Hazbin-related leading up to the show was Angel wanting to ESCAPE his sex-trafficked life.

So for Angel to joke about his body being made to be exploited… Just… How could you possibly think it’s okay? There is no tact here. There is no plausible deniability because of Angel’s history with SA; he’s saying his body is made to be SA’d.

If Angel had replied something like:

Charlie: I don’t want to exploit you in that way!

Angel: Aww, dame! I wanna help ya out, and this is just what I’m good at!

It wouldn’t be so heinous.

Or Angel could be shown to be a little socially intelligent about how Hell works:

Charlie: I don’t want to exploit you in that way!

Angel: But dame! Dame, ya gotta listen. This might be a squeaky clean joint for prudes, but Hell’s full of sexy, sex-loving freaks! And I’M the most famous sex-loving star is all of Hell! If you put me on your advertisements, you’ve got a GUARANTEED audience, and boy is it a massive audience! Your Hotel’ll make it to ALL those sinful, lusty sexlords who get off to me! I mean, you’re the one tryinna redeem ‘em, don’t you think some of THEM might be interested?

(I do kind of like that now that I’ve written that down; at least in that version, Angel actually has something going on in his brain. And Charlie can either concede and be like “yyyyyeah… I guess… you’re right…” or she can go “no Angel you left that life and I won’t be an accomplish making you go through that anymore.” Or something. SHOW SOME FUCKING CHARACTER.)  

There isn’t even anything to joke about with the line as it is. It’s just… thoughtless.

(And... from episode 4... God. It's sickening. This is just a taste of how BAD it is going to get.)

--Angel’s joke about his body parts goes on way too long. The joke overstays its welcome.

--Why is Angel drawn with pink lines on half of his body while all the other characters have full black lines???

--“Oh Trust Me, I can!” Man… it was a glimmer like this shot that makes me miss what Alastor used to be. It’s actually kind of fluid, and it’s like seeing a tiny bit of what the character could have been. But it still, again, completely lacks the raw DANGER and unhinged-ness the originala brought to the show.

--Oh Husk. Oh, Husk, no. Your voice. Oh Husk. They fucked you up. Where’s the exhaustion, where’s the jadedness? You don’t sound burnt-out and hollow (like a HUSK) like you’re supposed to. Good lord.

Also… “Why do you think I’m here? You think I’d be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks whining if he wasn’t forcing me?” So much telling and not a single ounce of showing.

--Nifty: I like being forced.

………… A little too close to Angel Dust's thing to be saying that, Nifty.

--THIS IS TOO MANY CHARACTERS ALL AT ONCE. This is a huge overload of information. How is a newcomer to the series supposed to register and remember all these guys? (We haven’t even gotten to Adam and Lute yet, meaning even more are on the way.)

Husk and Nifty don’t even do anything in the episode. They don’t need to be here.

--Apparently, Angel has a habit of harassing Husk. I’m worried. Listen: sexually harassing anyone is not okay and it’s not funny. In the pilot, Husk showed disinterest in Angel’s flirting, but nothing super outright or angry – here, he sounds angry. He sounds serious. He doesn’t want to be flirted with. But Angel doesn’t stop. This is not okay.

Why doesn’t Angel understand consent if his entire character arc is about SA and escaping exploitation. Of ANY character, he should have some modicum of self-awareness about this. At the least, they needed to dial back his lines. He’s already gone too far, as we’ve mentioned.

(...From the rest of the episodes, and the leaks, god it gets so much worse.)

--Vaggie: We can’t force sinners to stay here. They have to choose to.

Wow, can you sound ANY deader, Vaggie. This line is miserable.

--Angel thinks the hotel’s idea is stupid. So… why is Angel having this conversation with VAGGIE? This is Charlie’s show! This is Charlie’s dream! This is Charlie’s endeavor, the thing SHE believes in! Charlie is the main character; she is the one who is fighting for redemption!

Why isn’t it Angel and Charlie having this conversation, so Charlie has to defend her stance and Angel can challenge her, and it’ll be our first sign of Charlie facing opposition?

As it is, Vaggie doesn’t even sound convicted in their idea. Her voice is just fucking dead. And Angel cares nothing for the Hotel as stated, so he doesn’t bring any life into this discussion. Charlie is NEEDED in these scenes to bring energy to it.

It's because Charlie isn’t the main character. Viv doesn’t like female characters. She’s the main character in-name only. The male ones like Angel, Alastor, etc, are the ones that are the focus. This becomes more apparent with further episodes too.

--Angel: Crack is expensive.

Angel just coming out and saying that to Vaggie, when like, being off drugs was one of the conditions to staying in the hotel. He says he wants keep staying at the hotel rent-free, he should be hiding that he’s doing it so they don’t cut him from the program and tell him to get lost.

----------

So that was our first look at the show proper. I think that’s a good place to pause, because now, we’re coming into the worst part of the episode, where this train wreck just fucking falls over the edge of a cliff. It will have my most intense thoughts, and explain how Hazbin destroys itself before it can even begin!

Stay tuned!

[itsjaywalkers]

I had a very cursed thought during my monthly rereading of oby so now i must ask…

WAIT WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY HELLO

Hi Laurie how are you doing? 😃

I may no longer be a nonnie but I hope I can still hold the privileges of the kinky nonnie tag as this may be one of my weirdest asks yet.

Soooooo what are the dick sizes of your jeguluses (jeguli? Idk what the plural of jegulus is so just bear with me)? And yes I’m even talking about the lovely trans regs you make. Does he experience bottom growth? Does he want bottom growth? The world must know the answer to these questions Laurie. It’s me. I’m the world 🫡

Anyways

Sending all my love and kinky thoughts and inspiration your way,

No longer kinky nonnie 🫡😭

HELLO AGAIN GREM <3 i think it's sooo funny that you're doing a monthly reread of oby when i'm currently writing part 3 of oby..

i'm doing okay darling!! enjoying my day off and trying to get as much writing done as possible!! and also looking forward to hanging out with a very dear friend next week <3

how are u tho? how's march been treating u babe?

and of course!! ur kink nonnie privileges are Forever!! they're non-refundable!!

i'm gonna be so real with u babe.. i don't really think about dick sizes when it comes to my characters.. not in a . specific detailed way yknow?? i can tell u that my james is usually Big. not insanely so but . above average?? and thick!! im pretty sure i almost always mention it whenever there's like . a sex scene with him in it lol . id say all my jameses' dicks are the same but if i had to pick one to have like . the biggest dick between them all . it'd be boxer au james For Sure

and regulus usually moves between average size and big-ish size!! again, i haven't given it too much thought. i think i've mentioned he has a pretty cock a few times but it's always when i'm writing from james pov so . possibly a biased statement lmao

when it comes to trans reg he does experience bottom growth!! and he loves it!! gives him insane gender euphoria!! the only exception is nqp reg bc he hasn't transitioned yet, he came out to everyone like . a few months ago so he's literally just started his journey

in oby he's a lot younger and hasn't been on t as long so his bottom growth hasn't Peaked just yet!! it's very much there tho!! in the boxer au however he has experienced quite a lot of bottom growth and you'll see it when i finally write and start posting that story etc etc

thank u for ur questions, i always have so much fun with them!! sending u all my love and a big forehead kissie MWAH <333

[wine4thewin]

Any tips for writing smut/romance? Because yours is delicious!

Thank you ☺️

Well, I’d say it’s a long process of trial and error within finding your voice in writing. I’ve been at it for probably 20-ish years and when I first wrote smut maybe a decade ago…it was soooooo bad 🤣 even to this day I will post something with a scene and feel extremely insecure! I’m like, oh God, was it bad!? 😅

Take all of this with a grain of salt. What I feel strongly about, other people may not feel the same. The writing process is different for everyone.

It also depends on your goal. Just regular p*rny smut or thought-out erotica?

1. Emotional Payoff: I find myself writing giant slow burns more than anything these days. Why? Because I want the cumulation of events to feel impactful to the reader. I don’t even mean “oh, the characters have fallen in love” emotional payoff. Sometimes, they aren’t in love. Sometimes, they are struggling with feelings, with beliefs, with conflicts…and I want the first erotic scene to be impactful to the plot, not just ‘thrown in for the hell of it’. It must add to the story and I want it to be a turning point or realization of sorts for the characters…for better or worse. Can this be done without a slow burn? Yes. But it takes a very precise prose to do it in a short piece.

Essentially, beyond my long-windedness, I am saying the smut should mean something to the story to be emotionally impactful to the reader, even if the act is meaningless to the characters themselves at that time. That is the difference IMO between erotica and flat, emotionless p#rny writing.

More below the cut - 18+ for some scenarios mentioned, but nothing crazy or offensive.

2. Sometimes Less Crude is More Sexy: This depends on your goal. Are you aiming for just how many dirty words you can cram in a paragraph? Seems a bit wild, but sometimes certain words can make a smut scene more impactful. I used to write every single gory detail with blunt, crude words. Did it work? Sure. Was it the sort of writing that made people feel a flutter or emotional response aside from ‘ooo dirty smut’? Maybe not.

Back to emotion. Emotional words can take your smut to the next level. You could say your male character ‘grabbed her thighs and spread them quickly, his huge *insert crude word* hard and ready to stuff her dripping *insert crude word*’.

Or, you could say instead, ‘the calloused tips of his fingers ghosted across her skin, making her shiver with anticipation. The tremble in his touch betrayed his inexperience, even as he moved slowly between her thighs. She could feel that he was eager for her, pressed as he was against her own desire…and she would take all he had to offer and more.

There would be no going back from this.

“Am I what you want?” His voice was an utterance across her lips, gaze dark and questioning. Pupils wide, consuming her.

There was no need to answer aloud. She shifted her hips and took him for herself.’

The above is me setting the stage for the act itself, all while putting in words and sentences that reveal small emotions, details, insecurities, dominance, and desires. Idk, you tell me, I just made that whole scene up on the spot 😂

When you read something that makes you react, remind yourself of the words the writer used that made you feel. Was it because they pulled you into the scene, had you feel with the character you love? Or was it because they said dripping vajayjay twenty times? Different strokes for different folks!

3. Don’t Be Repetitive: Refer to genitalia in different ways, but don’t be obnoxiously flowery like the harlequin novels of old and their “his staff of love quivered in her touch” sorta thing. More like, “his desire was velvet covered steel under her grasp / his firm length” or “she was swollen against his fingertips, ready, glistening with arousal”. You can get away with saying d#ck a few times, but it gets annoying and eye-rolling if it’s every sentence. You can check out this list for ideas!

4. Use Location/Situation to Your Advantage: where are these characters? Semi-public? In private? Are they forbidden being together? Or is their love considered illegal or shameful in your fantasy/sci-fi country? Bring feelings of ‘could we be caught, excitement, the thrill, shame, struggling with own beliefs, reluctance yes, even reluctance’ into the smut to amp up the stakes.

5. Not All Sex is Perfect: hey, we don’t always get it right the first time. I’ve written one character having the time of his life from his POV, only to find out his partner didn’t exactly find him as awe-inspiring 🤣 but, his partner gave him another chance, what a saint jk jk, and the emotional aspect of this previously very selfish character realizing he feels strongly about pleasing someone other than himself for the first time ever was a huge plot point with the smut.

Don’t be afraid of awkward sex, reassuring sex, figuring things out together sex…they can always get it right the next time!

6. If You Write a Kink, Go Deep: size kink, BDSM, A/B/O, etc. if you are going to do it, really commit to it. Don’t mention it vaguely, because if people are looking for that in your smut because you tagged it as such, don’t leave them hanging! I had to study BDSM terms, read blogs of those in the life and their experiences to even come close to writing authentically about it (and I mean stuff beyond generic spanking, such as the risks of edgeplay, knife play, wax play, sensory deprivation, subspace, etc).

Closing thoughts before I ramble you into the abyss from whence you won’t return:

Overall, writing is to have fun! Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s always a learning process. Ask for feedback on your smut, observe what you like about your favorite authors, practice practice practice.

Much of my advice may be considered advanced (or maybe it’s all shit LOL) but I hope some of it helps bring food for thought and helps others on their ever-continuing journey of creative writing!

[puzzlevision]

update

hello, yoko here.

so some of you may noticed that i changed my username, you can still call me as yoko but once the revamping is started, you will no longer call me by that name. i want to seperate myself from that name that made me known on the smg4 fandom.

this is a very long explanation so its under the cut, and note to people on tumblr around: it contains controversal stuffs happening on glitch productions

this change is because of the smg4 controversy that happened recently, with the main one being taris old va (celeste notley-smith) being replaced by a new one. which is okay at first because celeste is a mother and a teacher and needs to focus on other stuffs and yadda yadda, until you found out that she fired from glitch after 6 years.

6.

FUCKING

YEARS.

now picture this: you are one of the first voice actor/actress from a recently new company, only to get replaced by a new one after years of voicing a character that you dearly love. the new tari va (lottie baurne) almost sounds like her old va and thats okay, but this situation is awful. not only that, robyn (smg2s former voice actress) is stepping down from glitch because of that. she recently made a video about this controversy on her channel "anime america", so please make sure to watch it.

yeah yeah i know jasmine yang (the voice director) made an apology, but that… is just not that good. sometimes we always forget things, but her apology? this is meh. im hoping to see celestes respond about her apology so the situation will be calm once again (like it was used to be… back in the early years). im also looking forward for the lerdwichagul brothers' responds as well.

and about the other controversy, we got glassdoor ratings about employee mismanagement coming from ex-workers, thanks to the ceo… aka kevin. i dont understand why kevin was hated by everyone back then, but it turns out that they are right. kevin is a completely different person with cameras OFF. that one scene from the episode "smg4… are you okay?" where smg4 tortures toads into manipulation by making videos for his channel became more obvious with this one. the good side is we havent heard about luke (smg4) yet.

on the other hand, i will probably start a career as a utau producer once i have speakers for my pc, dowloaded utau, and practiced how to use that software (hence the "prod" on my url). there is a chance that kikyuune aiko will be my main. smg4 stuffs will still be around, however you will see less smg4 stuffs here due to the controversy and the fact that this is a multifandom account aside from my likes. buuuuut that does not mean ill stop working on pandemic love distortion. (for those who didnt know about this one, its a wip smg34 fanfic made by me that was put on developmental hiatus due to irl stuff)

and for those who havent heard of it already, i will permanently post all my future arts to @blueberry-arts, but previous arts from my main will still be here and remain. so if you want new arts from mine go to my other account pls 🙏

soooooo i guess that will be all. thank you for reading.

signed, yoko. 🫐

[eatnightmares]

1.12 fiddler's feast time :)))))))) (<- can't fucking do this anymore i'm at my limit i can't do it i can't-)

they're so cute :((( they're soooooo so cute :((((((((((( but also paigggge :(((((

(guy who works at a restaurant voice) i need that hog dead

THEY'RE SOOOOOO CUUUUUUTE I'M NOT GONNA FUCKING MAKE IIIIITTTTTTTT

"does not require a fleshly sacrifice" bro i hate it here 😭

the state of tech is so interesting like early internet era but some things are still held back bc of the gods' whims...

as if she's already thought about it 😭😭😭

"asked for a gift to be given, offered a gift in return" makes me so crazy when they use the word gift for sacrifice. not what that means!!!! win for religious pseudo cannibalism at least

GWUUUHHHH CARPENTERRRRR SOUNDING SO EXCITED TO EXPLAIN HOW HER FAMILY DID IT. MENTIONING EM BY NAME.

GRINDING MY TEETH INTO DUST. (with a certain loyalty) i can't stand them he wants to give her the right answer and make a good impressionnnnnn. carpenter having one of the few things she enjoys about her religion being sharing food...even back in ep1 when she's egging faulkner about getting pancakes...

SHE HAS A LITTLE JEALOUSY IN HER VOICE. KILLING MYSELF 👍👍

exploding exploding exploding. "we're talking about ancient history, laws from 50 years back" PAIGE THAT IS NOT ANCIENT HISTORY

DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAAAAAZYYYYYYYY OH THE WAY THINGS CHANGE OH THE WAYS THEY STAY THE SAME. SO VERY FUCKING NUTS CARPENTER WAS THE FIRST ONE TO OBJECT TO LEGALIZATION.

oh carpenter oh carpenter oh carpenter. i don't even know what to say oh my babygirl

devlin drowned dragged delivered tho am i right...am i right guys...

faulkner wanting to have a proper goodbye for paige is doing things to me. never having had that for his family, his final goodbye with carpenter...

GRAAAAUUGHH. A GODLESS GREETING/FAREWELL. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND A WAY FORWARD THAT MEANS NO ONE ELSE HAS TO GET HURT. FAULKNER'S FINAL INTERACTION WITH A MAIN CHARACTER OTHER THAN CARPENTER AND IT'S THAT. TAKE CARE PAIGE. OUR PAIGE. MAY YOUR PEACE WALK ON WITH YOU FOR A WHILE. WALK ON UNTIL YOU'RE LOST FROM ME.

head in my hands. paige.

listen this is very touching with how she goes on to open up to him but u have to understand how it reads like that fucking sonic fandub bit. "just me and the ocean...just alone with my thoughts..." "hey silver-" "GODDAMNIT"

ok i have to start limiting screenshots b4 i just cap the whole scene but. oooowaaagghhhh. it was refreshing to see some fire in you when you came to speak of the faith. i used to be very much like you faulkner. you can call it a compliment, if you like - but I always forget that you converted. oh, there's always entanglements. I don’t think I feel the same way I used to. i don't understand, but that's okay. 💥💥💥💥💥

liquefies into paste.

head in my hands. the siblingssss

he's so normal. something about carpenter not necessarily taking that last part as a red flag. correcting herself from had that to have that. like to her it's a feeling that's necessary to have at some point but then needs to be let go. she really does see so much of herself in him...she isn't even out yet and she knows he needs to get out too...

(big red flashing sign held up to the audience that says STOP LISTENING NOW U ARE GOING TO GET HURT)

HEY. HEY CAN WE CIRCLE BACK ON THIS. WHAT'S THE ONLY OTHER SACRIFICE WE KNOW HE'S MADE. HEY FAULKNER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN HEY HELLO?

giggling smiling tearing out the floorboards eating drywall etc etc. how very s1 carpenter-core he is in s3. she takes that. accepts it. perhaps he only wishes for me to prove once and for all that i have the courage to finally let you go. yeah, perhaps that's it. do you?

banging my fist against the floor. it's faulkner not understanding her but trying to give her kindness. an escape. paige and carpenter, the unfaithful, the ones who are going to leave him, but he still has love for them and doesn't resent them. what does that make everyone else?

fiona apple voice i resent you for being raised right...i resent you for being so sure...i resent you presenting your life like a fucking propaganda brochure!!!!!! but i know if i hate you for hating me i will have entered the endless race!!!!!!!!!

i know they're picking grass and putting it in each others laps i know they are

oughh this episode...another top 3 of s1 for me i think...and it's all downhill (emotionally) from here lads 🫡

[1d1195]

oooooooohhhhhh sam you. did. NOT.

both me and harry are so mad at you right now because WHAT ?:?:!/?/?/?- WHEN I TELL YOU I ALMOST CRIED WHEN I SAW THE DIVIDER AND REALIZED THAT WAS THE END😭😭 (all jokes ofc we all adore you)

OMGGGG THAT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD I CANT😫 meeting her dad and everything he said was adorableee, and, ofc i didn’t like them arguing but it was very realistic !!! and i love how you wrote it bc it is hard to be vulnerable with things like that especially when you’re already stubborn and not someone who opens up😭 and him !!! i knowww that man wanted to cave so bad but he just couldn’t WHICH IS ALSO SOOOO REAL WHEN YOURE SUPER STUBBORN i understood both sides (can you tell how hard headed i am lol)

OK NOOWWWW MY THOUGHTS ON THE PREVIOUS DING PARTS YAY (i’ve been writing them down until i could send this): WHEN HE DIDNT EVEN CARE ABT WINNING HE WAS JUST LOOKING FOR HERRRR OMFGGGG I MELTED (there’s a taylor swift lyric abt this she says: “where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me !!☺️” ITS SO THEM), the way they’re so obsessed with each other they can’t focus on anything ??😫😫😫 i feel so bad MC keeps getting dragged into remembering that shitty date and i am SO interested in her backstory !!!!! THE WAY YOU SET THAT UP ??? I WAS SO INTO IT I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT AWAY OMGGGG just everything you do is perfect honestly thank you SO MUCH for your writing, you have NO idea how much i look forward to it, like seriously when i see that you’ve updated i make SURE i get some alone time so i can enjoy that fic😉

i cannot wait until the next part bc i was def hooked but now im hooked 😭😭

i don’t have much to update on but one of the weddings happened !! it was so much fun getting to see everyone i used to know, lots of people flew in and it was amazing we all kept saying how it felt like old times. i caught ANOTHER cold :(( it came out of nowhere its just a sore throat and stuffy nose but omggg is it annoying, ive never really had bad allergies or anything like that before so idk what this is but its pissing me off😭

howve you been ??? tell me everything i hope you have the best day ever today <3

~🎶

“Me and Harry are so mad at you” that’s so real 🤣

I am also insanely stubborn and hide stuff. I hate being vulnerable. No one has ever let me—including myself. So it was cathartic to write that scene tbh. But I am stubborn through and through for sure.

I love the T-swift analogy. That’s so cute! 💕 they are obsessed with each other at the end of the day. They’re sweet I think 🥰

I feel like recently I have gotten more creative in setting up backstory and showing not telling kind of thing.

Honestly, May has been really rough. I’m kinda struggling. But I’ll be okay. Just a lot at once. That’s great about the wedding. It sounds like a lot of fun! A cold is no good. That’s how I feel rn. I think it might be allergies because it seems to be subsiding already from yesterday.

I hope you have a fantastic rest of your week 💕 can’t wait to hear from you again!

Xoxo

[evansbby]

Heyyyyyyyyyyy!

Read ur new fic today bestieeee😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Ohk tell me are u soooooo amazing I just can't get enough of every thing u writeeee😵‍💫😭😭🤤🫡

This was soooooo chef kissesss🤌🤌🤌🤌

I liked every second of the fic sooooo much , I read it in the morning and now again Im gonna re-read it again

And the detailssssss👁️👄👁️

Not him making making her climax for 4 timessss

Sdhkdghhjkkkjjkkkkkk

And the repetition of he deserved this??

Was he trying to supress his conscience or whatt???

Honestly I don't know for some strange reason I found that hot tooo🤤

Telling her to call him captain then commanding her to call him daddyy

Sdshjkhhdsghjjkk

And then his thoughts about being her daddy , wanting to take care of her🥺

I'm in love I'm in love I'm in loveeeeeee I'm in loveeee I'm in loveeeeeee I'm in loveeeeeee I'm in loveeeeeeee💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

This was an awwww momentttt, my heart got all squishyyyyyyy🥹🥹🥹

Also my sizeee kink went brrrrrrrrrrrrr😮‍💨

And the kisssssssesssesssss scene

OMG OMGG OMGGG OMGGGG OMGGGGG OMGGGGGG OMGGGGGGGG OMGGGGGGG

Him kissing her again and again and again was soooooo cuteeeee🤭

My heart swelledddl😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫💗🥹🫡

The smearing her blodddddd wasssd soooo fucking dirtyyyy omgggg I loved ittytt I was seeing stars behind my eyes on God I swearrrrr it was soooooo hotyyy sooooo sexyyyyy sooooooooooo sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy uhhhhhhhhhhh I got so truned in bestieeee 😗✋😗✋🫡🫡🫡🫡

And him waking her up when she passed outtttt and then she passed out again in the enddddd

Asdgsjakakahaaahnshsjksk

Bestieeeeeeeeeeeee how do I literally write my the dirtest deepest fantasy of people soooooo fucking wellll.....u have to understand that was way tooo hot to handle and put it into words about how I wassss feeling I was feeling like I'm burning upp like I'm sitting in am ovennnnn the temp was fucking rising and itsss December 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🫡🫡🫡🫡😵😵

I loved the ficcc soooo muchhh ,u have to understand u r my fav I'm literally in this dead fandom for just for u otherwise I would have deleted the appl I loveee everything u write evry fuckinggg peiceee u writeeee,

💗💗💗💗🥹🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗💗

I love ur Andy slander tooo 😂

And also when u said this was gonna be dark fic I assumed it will be veryyyyyy dark but honestly it was sooo much better than poyt 1 part likeas in this Steve was a Lil Lil teeenyyyy tinnyyyy but betterrr than poyt Steve, less dark more softttt , and I bought poytbsteve because I can't help it I'm obsessed with his mfing toxic ass💀 I can't help but compare everyone with him ok may be this Steve be more dark but like he was a Lil softer than him during sex like in this stve kisses herrrrrrr I mean that countssss and not once but again'and again and he was entirely enjoying itttt omggggg skkkkkkskkskkskssookkkkkk soooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeee

The spiting scene was wasss veryyy hot bestieeeeeeeeeeeee 👁️👄👁️

Sending loveeee 💗💗💗💗

-💗(is this emoji take)

omg bestie this is so sweet! I love your enthusiasm and all your emojis! Thank you soooo much! 🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷

anddd omg did he make her orgasm 4 times??? Or was it 5 times??? I don’t remember hehe

I loved writing them kissing so much!!! I wasn’t planning on it but I went with the flow and Steve really seemed to be into kissing reader 🩷🩷 again and again and again as you said 😂😂 she was just too cute to resist 🥹🥹🥹

Also bestie pls come out of the oven!!! Omg 🤭🤭🤭🥹🥹🥹🥹 no but seriously I’m so happy you liked it so much!!! It truly means the most to me!

I don’t think this Steve is any softer than poyt!Steve but THIS Steve kinda knows what he wants, so if he wants to kiss her then he’ll kiss her and he won’t suppress that for himself!!! Hehehe

I’m so happy you’re still in this fandom for my blog bestie it means the world! 🥹🙏🏼🩷

[dominikadecember]

I FORCED MY LIVEWATCH ONTO MY FRIENDS NOW Y'ALL GET TO ENJOY

Okay, I got pizza, i've got a drink, i've peed, lets start this

omg i knew they chose the perfect alex via taylor cus of his BDE but holy shit dude can do sensitive too and we're just a minute in!!!!!!!!

omg the blank was hilarious in the trailer but it's soooooo much funnier in full speed. I AM CACKLING

their interactions are perrrrrrfect!!!!!

the cake scene, is so uncomforttable. i cant watch this but i need to watch this but OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread

you may want to put me on mute bc holy shit i don't know i how ill get through two hours of this mornons

the opening credits are a perfect choice for this movie/book

sarah shahi just keeps getting prettier

uma is the perfect person to be cast as alex's ma and us prezzie

Best line ever 'There is no getting out of this." 'What if I set myself on fire?' 'We'd ship the ashes to Heathrow.' I LOVE ZAHRA!!!!!!!!

DAVID THE DOG IS MENTIONED I HOPE HE IS IN THE MOVIE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS

ugh loads of london sights, so boring SHAAN IS HOT AS FUCK

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ENEMY ACT I LOVE IT I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FREINDS AND THEN THE LOVERS OMG OMG OMGGGGGGG

henry needs all the makeup bc he's a pretty boy but alex is fucking FAAAAAINE

ughhhhh i love this movie so much imma cry

lmfao alex just called queen victoria 'vicky' in an interview and henry looks like he had a stroke

this is so good, the book closet vs movie closet scene is so well done i am so happy

taylor's. fucking. eyelashes. someone made this boy a maybeline ad from birth

AMY THE BODYGUARD DESERVES HER OWN SHOW

OMG THE MOMENT WHERE THEY REALISE THEY MAYBE POSSIBLY ARE NOT ENEMIES BUT JUST MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER I AM SWOOOOOOONING

yaaaas ppl owning their privilege and being honest they may not be perf is mah jammmm

is alex in this movie not supposed to realise he is bi before he hooks up with henry like in the book? bc taylor has chemistry with EEEEEEEERRRRYBODY

omg they're starting to be friendsssssss

THE TURKEY SCENE OMG OMG

I love how they filmed the messaging scenes. So interesting.

alex's political career! i love this plot!!!

Zahra is srsly so fucking pretty

Nora is gorgeous as hell tooooooooo!!!!!!!! Everyone in this movie is absolutely perfect and pretty and i love them

Henry is just a dorky dork with dorkdom

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS EXQUISITE!!!!!!

ummm how did alex not get mono at this damn NYE party???

THE KISS THE KISS IS HAPPENING THE KISS OMFG THE KISS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I AM OMG!!!!!!

Nora is great but she's like a mix of Nora and June and idk how to feel about it.

OMG ALEX IS DESCRIBING THE KISS AND HOLY SHIT

WOW

Nora and Alex being besties works rllllllly well

lmao alex ignoring an ex for henry was the most obvious thing ever how did no one realise?????

OH MY GOD I CANT THIS MOVIE IS GONNA KILL ME

THE LONGING HOLY SHIT

THE FUN FLIRTY THING IS HAPPENING NOW AND I AM HERE FOR IT

HENRY IS VERY MUCH INTO BEING ORDERED BY ALEX AND I LOVE IT

THIS

IS

VERY

STEAMY

HOLY SHIT

Wow, someone said 'I'm bisexual' and it feels really fucking awesome.

THEY ARE SO CUTE AND HOT

casual hooking up' stage YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE STAHP LYING TO YOURSELVES

OMG OMG OMG MY BRAIN IS MELTING

my cat keeps on walking in and out scared cus i keep shouting OH MY GOD SO SORRY TYMEK ALSO NICHOLAS GALITZINE ON A HORSE IS ABSOLUTELY A FANTASY OF MINE

HOLY SHIT THAT IS GUNNERSBURY PARK THEY FILMED IN GUNNERSBURY PARK AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME?! RUDE AS FUCK!!!! I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE AND MADE NICHOLAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!

'I think we should make love tonight'

'Um...yeah...I'm down' BOY PLS HOW DID YOU EVER GET LAID?????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I can't they are so fucking hot and cute and how is this okay??????????????????????

sorry heteros, no movie will ever have a love scene as beautiful as this movie

oh shittttt an argument between alex and ellen and alex going 'yes madam president' instead of 'yes mom' DAAAAAAAMN

Alex excited about stuff is lovely and Taylor is a very pretty boi

The CGI is pretty crappy but thankfully it doesn't feature way too much.

THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!

THE ZAHRA SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED

OH MY GOD THIS SCENE IS EVERYTTTTTTHING AND IS SO FUNNY OMG OMG OMG OMG

Shit. Alex coming out to his ma scene was beautiful and it hurt and it was perfect.

omg they are all so cute and perfect and cowboyy??? i am 100000000% into the cowboy!!!!!!!! and nicholas' voice, i forgot thhat the boy can sing!

ALEX YOU ARE IN LOVE IT BE OKAY

They changed from the book that alex's parents are together and not divorced and i think it works so well.

THEY ARE DOMESTIC IN THEIR BUBBLE AND CUTE AS FUCK AND TAYLOR IS GLISTENING WITH WATER AND I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

Oh no, this bit, this bit is sad, there is sad angst coming

THE ONLY REASON WHY I AM NOT CRYING AT RN IS BC THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AGAIN IS FUCKING GORG

1 hour and 17 minutes in. First fucking sighting of David the dog. Unbelievable. HE IS THE TRUE STAR OF THIS MOVIE!!!

sad angsty angst ☹️

'what if he won't see me?' OMG MY HEART

aw man, i wish we would have seen the dramatic scene where alex is at the palace gates screaming to be let in like that eric andre meme

there better be thousand deleted scenes

wooooooooah this confrontation is so much more powerful than in my book, these boys are such good actors omg

alex boy you're gonna catch a cold with that wet shirt 🙁 i think most of it is your tears than the rain

THAT BETTER BE ALEX'S BLUE HOODIE!

ugh, so jelly they got to have a museum all to themselves at night no less

also the V&E has never looked that nice whenever i've been there

'just a daft pubescent fantasy' BOY THAT'S HOW I LIVE

OMG THIS IS SO

OMG

'HISTORY HUH?! BET WE COULD MAKE SOME' THEY DID THIS SO FUCKING PERFECT OMG

WHEN DOES THE HAPPY EVER AFTER HAPPEN???? HENRY JUST WANNA KISS HIS BOY IN PUBLIC OMG

DAVID THE DOG IS BACK

Oh right, this fucking thing

The boys being outed by asshats

ofc miguel is involved, fuck off dipshit

Alex is fantastic at politics and I am in love with how fiercly he is protecting his and henry's relationship

ZAHRA IS SO DONE WITH THIS LOVESICK PUPPY SHIT I LOVE HER

ZAHRA IS MY HERO

OH MY GOD

I AM NOT OKAY EITHER HENRY

lmao you gossipy bitches

stephen fry in DA HOUSE!

lmao homophobia in the royal house here plaaaaay!

lmao when the king says 'i have read your emails all of them' alex is tots thinking 'they were hot weren't they' and henry is thinking 'fuckityfuck alex talks about my crack ☹️'

ALEX STANDING UP FOR HIS BOY IN FRONT OF ROYALTY GETS ME EVERYTIME

OMG YAAAAAAAAAS DA PUBLIC LOVES THEIR GAY PRINCE BOI!!!!

lmao philip 'you can't go out there' WHAT YOU GONNA DO? STOP THEM FIT BOYS WITH YOUR PASTY ASS STICK ARMS???

THEY. ARE. SO. CUTE.

you know it's fiction when texas has become a democratic state

THEY ARE SO FUCKING CURE

ARGHH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS SOOOOOO PRETTTTTTY

That is absolutely not the house I imagined.

OH NO IT'S OVER 🙁 BUT I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMG OMG OMG IT'S SO GOOD EVERYONE WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY!

lmao there's a bit at the end of the credit with the cake scene and alex going 'do you think anyone noticed?' i love this idiot so much

[icharchivist]

icha!! I finished awakening moon :) it was very good and i can see why u love chikage! I have two BURNING questions up top though.

1. do we ever learn what the exact job of the organization is. I guessed espionage/assassin/various shady business before even starting this act so personally i’m very very happy i got there at least. hmph. I’m pretty good. but do we ever learn more about… actual job details?

and 2. do we ever get a real explanation for chikage’s “I don’t like women” line. it’s so abrupt that it’s funny but also this is the one information my sister has about chikage and it’s not easy to defend against lmaoooo. I don’t for a second believe chikage’s story abt his mother is the right one because first… if that is real it’s a bullshit excuse. like hello dude. have u ever talked to One More Woman than ur mother. izumi can’t be that special. i feel like that isn’t supposed to be totally untrue since he like… shoves izumi away after making sure she doesn’t get run over that one time? but my working theory is that izumi startled him so badly that one time he was like “i have to make sure she never touches me again” and decided the best way to do that was… whatever he said. and then he keeps being standoffish to izumi when they’re alone bc he’s already gone past the point of no return so may as well just drop the pleasant act. that line is so wild to me though because like really apart from that he is pretty normal around izumi. like. what’s going on here it’s going to haunt me.

ok now onto the chronological stuff… this is a lot more chapters, so I’ll be quicker, and anyways I feel like i set up my initial feelings and thoughts pretty well in the last ask so i don’t need to say too much stuff. anyways i feel like here a whole lotta stuff Happens but it was mostly playing out things i’d expected to happen for the most part? but i might also jump around time a little bit because of that…

anyways when they were practicing that thunder scene I was thinking that he sounded as easygoing as always. so it was nice to hear izumi back me up on that one. you're correct the voice acting here is really wonderful. wataru hatano you're amazing! and well. i mean. listen. shaiapouf as a character Is. a Character but the voice acting for him is pitch-perfect so yeah. skill. i felt like chikage goes through a Lot this arc but seriously, the voice acting for him throughout just like, consistently impressed me.

izumi’s thinking to herself he isn't good at showing emotion bc he just sounds shallow and empty. wow u really did not hold back there. i've been thinking this for a while but i want to throw homare at chikage. it would be fun for soooo many reasons. like chikage has to contend with how homare is around hisoka and everyone but also the whole homare deal of like “i’m incapable of being a normal human!” i imagine that would strike a chord somewhere. even now that he’s like reconciled with hisoka it would be rather interesting.

love the deeply hassled sigh chikage lets out when izumi asks him to stay back for a moment. I still think its crazy that izumi literally hasn’t said a thing abt how weird he’s being including tsuzuru when he was struggling with his script. also when he dropped that small bottle? My guesses were “dangerous poison serum” and “august memento” and im glad to say i was right on BOTH counts. and the way he goes "If you touched that, I would've never forgiven you." when izumi goes to pick up… chikage is so fun/interesting to me because he’s got this very placid mask for his emotions but the moment that drops he’s soooooo obvious. goes like 0-100. like he does not recover well. i would ask how he survived previous espionage missions etc. but i guess previously he did not have to deal with august and april being dead. But anyways the moment i saw that i was like “hm… hisoka didn’t wash up with it so he probably drank it… did it give him amnesia?” soooooo :) smug smile.

i do like izumi being mad at this whole thing. I mean even up to the end of this event she’s still so confused abt chikage’s women hater thing which. fair. but mostly i really like izumi’s relationship with chikage because it feels like it’s the most antagonistic she’s been towards other troupe members? like when chikage invited her out on that date i audibly said to myself “hell yeah, PvP” and well. he kidnapped her and then she antagonized him by acting out the entirety of the wonderful charlatan of oz (which, love that she knows the entire script by heart).

the spring sleepover, part two! i thought it was nice that like. itaru and banri were gaming together here and it was banri who was like “um… where the fuck is ur roommate.” it reminded me of how itaru would knowingly be like ah. I don’t think u can just skate by in akigumi. like itaru… yes chikage looks like he wants to leave but i think u are being a little. unwelcoming. tsk tsk. glad tsuzuru and the rest of harugumi react appropriately. sakuya’s "chikage always looks at me when we're acting together, but it feels like... he's not actually SEEING me, you know?" was sooo insightful. thinking about how yuzo said sakuya has that stupid innocent part of rick down pat. i've got to think. that's probably the only part of him that chikage knows too, huh… but obviously sakuya (and rick) are more than that! the “it feels like he's acting opposite to a doll instead of a person” line really makes me want to sit down with chikage and be like. oh my god. I mean i know the organization u work for is for sure illegal but i also think it’s bad for ur mental health.

the moment they decided to prank him by tampering with his food i Knew that chikage was gonna get mad lol. like as an assassin / whatever multi-talented job he has i doubt he’d take kindly to it. and then he laces izumi’s food later. lol.

hisoka going “I’m scared to fall asleep” made me really worry… but his flashback scene was so fun to watch. I don’t have much to say abt it since we get the full explanation of that last scene with august later, but i am confused about them mastering japanese…? like, my assumption has always been that they were natively japanese since um… i feel like. people would point that out otherwise right. and it wouldn’t make sense for their names to be japanese otherwise either… maybe they are and were just like. out on the streets in a foreign country u probably wouldn’t learn japanese, huh… or is it just like. anime logic.

anyways izumi got kidnapped that was so fun. quoting from my notes when i realized it was gonna happen “oh he's totally kidnapping izumi. this is the best possible outcome actually. i wanted to see them fight.” I was confused as to why chikage was getting seen by Literally Everyone bc it’s like. didnt u research their schedules. but then i realized it was on purpose lol. I really liked that izumi figured out the chika-usa thing, like, immediately! and started gushing about it lol. it was nice to see chikage open up a bit. and then she quoted august which i’m sure was sweet and not at all doing irreparable damage to chikage’s psyche. well rip to her for a while. i do think it is sooo funny how muku is like maybe they ran off and eloped! same vibes as juza seeing sakyo and his mom and thinking theyre together. i’d say its a sakisaka/hyodo thing but no. i think like at least 50% of the troupe is just like that.

chikage never being able to sleep unless he’s like totally alone because he can’t feel safe otherwise is… sad. also its such a fun contrast to hisoka! i have been thinking abt this a lot actually bc like both these characters have their own sleep quirks and also this episode is called awakening moon? which i think is obviously like. that bright moon over august’s death… but it’s also like, an awakening, which i think suggests like, the recovery of hisoka’s memories as well as chikage’s awakening to like… the truth of that night and that hisoka hadn’t betrayed them at all… but i think it’s such a fun word because like some of the most important breakthroughs in this episode don’t center on waking up at all. in fact they hinge upon the opposite: sleep! hisoka sleeping to remember and chikage sleeping around sakuya… speaking of that scene where hisoka sleeps, winter is SO SWEET throughout this entire episode. like genuinely every time they show up they’re so sweet. the way homare says he’ll keep a lookout and pay hisoka back for mmmbm! and the way later when hisokas like i have to do something. on my own. all of winter troupe comes to him and is like hey i noticed ur sleeping less… can we share ur burdens? and the way tasuku catches him when he immediately falls asleep. so good. also azuma SPECIFICALLY being the one to wish him sweet dreams! considering… everything, surrounding azuma’s own troubles with sleep and the whole good night sweet dreams from nocturnality… that got me.

december 2nd being the night before they did their plan makes me think like??? is Hisoka’s bday literally just the day he lost his memories? what a day. like did he pick that as his bday after losing his memories or was that. but goddd. what a day. love chikage and izumi in that hideout room like izumi really went “I’m gonna annoy u through my acting. fuck you.” until hisoka showed up. him doing the whole putting himself in someone else’s shoes with chikage… inspired by homare… that made me clutch my heart. especially with homares line of “you will be fine. I am sure you will know what to do” like the SURETY in that!! now I’m very glad hisoka didn’t end up drinking the amnesia serum bc chikage’s shout of “don’t!” was so distressed like wow. this is the last piece of his family he has left. but OH MY GOD. could u imagine the alternate universe where chikage did not stop him and hisoka drank that potion. and winter loved him again and again and again. like my god the drama there. also chikage seems like he would spiral so incredibly deeply because of it and it would be incredibly angsty but also it would be so interesting. I do no think a3 has the time for that since they have like, plays to do and can’t properly pull that off and make it sincere with the proper amt of time but oh my god could u imagine… on the other hand I think chikage has so much love for his family of august and april that he would never have let hisoka drink it.

I love how when they get back though izumi decides that she can totally just LIE to a troupe of ACTORS when she’s proven she’s not that good at acting… it’s good hisoka backs her up or stuff would’ve gotten crazy… I hope ppl do get to know more of the truth eventually not because I want people to be mad at chikage. mostly because I want to know the full details of his job already and bc I think it’d be nice if he had more than like One Person to share his thoughts with. it’s good he does have the one, though. and I love spring troupe reaffirming that they’re family! that rly carried throughout the whole of awakening moon, it was so good.

chikage trying to leave was one of my favorite bits of awakening moon! like itaru u are SO funny. first its like "hi chikage :) u are the best roommate i couldve asked for" (and i think he calls him sempai?? wild) and then the moment chikage leaves he calls up sakuya. pfft. he knows what he’s doing. and then sakuya!!! I KNEW that coin toss was gonna come back and I KNEW sakuya was gonna get it right The Once!! and see through his lie! and right when chikage was abt to leave!! play parallels secured hehe. also sakuya’s "isn't there anything we can do for you? isn't there anything we can do to help?" the hisoka&winter parallels! I loved how sakuya was just like. u and me. sleep on the stage. like wow… I laughed at tenma for naively going “let’s all sleep together!” as the solution for summer troupe but like clearly this technique is working well for harugumi. chikage going "I... can't be your family. I betrayed you. I don't have the right." though… my god. I have to think this is very telling in terms of how he perceived hisoka, too, in that after his betrayal he was no longer allowed to be part of chikage’s “family”—but he still tells tsuzuru he has 2 siblings, in that conversation he has with him, so I assume he was really struggling with how to feel about hisoka—as far as chikage knew, hisoka had betrayed them, but he was also the Only Family chikage had left… that’s wild. it was cute to see sakuya recount spring’s first three plays but very strange to see sakuya talk abt clockwork heart, unknowing of the entire mizuno situation. I mean, it makes sense he wouldn’t know it well, but it’s still wild to me. I also like how chikage’s sprite isn’t wearing glasses here! also when he said "When I'm playing Oswald, it's like I'm drowning in all his emotions, too. It's suffocating." I was like ah. tsuzuru did his job well, then. for real that play sure did work well on improving chikage huh.

sakuya phrasing his relative situation in terms of like. him as the audience and everyone else on stage is such an apt and compelling comparison! and then chikage and sakuya sleeping together and then the whole of harugumi piling in… that cg was SO CUTE. everyone’s just so adorable there! sakuyas expression! citron sprawled on top of them! everything!

as for the play performance, I’m glad closing night went well! the costumes for this play are sooo good. I’ve been thinking abt itaru and citrons in particular like hello? hello? yuki great job. although I wonder why masumi is wearing just like a regular fucking jacket under his scarf deal. he doesn’t look that magic to me. gosh I imagine the prop work for this play would be insane tho like. how’d they deal with the hot air balloon and stuff. and the magic. I also listened to the corresponding song and liked it a lot! for some reason it reminded me of gusty garden galaxy, like the mario music? oh and hisoka almost calling chikage april and then the teasing lilt in hisokas voice when he says "chikage, they're calling you an ape" that was so cute. but also like cmon guys. chikage's birthday is Right There. that could be such a normal nickname. I also loved homare’s et tu, tasuku?! line. that was so funny

I loved that tenma sincerely did not realize chikage kidnapped izumi. and then he, taichi and sakuya all totally believed chikage’s lie. which I did not fall for even a bit. tsumugi going "I'm glad all the loose ends have been tied" though made me sit there though like okay what the fuck does the Organization do tho. huh. that’s a pretty loose end. also does chikage really hate women. they haven’t touched that as of this line. but then hisoka saying he wants to tell winter his memories even tho it could be selfish! so sweet! and loved how tsumugi and azuma are both traditionally supportive while tasuku and homare are like you're worried about being selfish NOW? i love you that way anyways.

and THEN the last cg with chikage and hisoka reminiscing. that scene was. oh my godddd. the way u can like Hear chikage going from fond reminiscing to having his voice break down into crying… it’s soooo good. and his sad smile!! and the moon!! I’m so glad these two were able to find each other and reconciled really… the only reason I didn’t cry was bc hisoka said that family was "inseperatable and irreplacable" and I had this moment of “oh. citroncore” bc I’m like 99% sure that inseperatable is not a real word and hisoka meant inseparable instead. I’m taking it as a sign that he did not 100% master Japanese even tho it’s definitely just a super minor localization error/typo. and then chikage helping izumi wash dishes in the morning :) like I said before I like that these two r a little hostile to each other like.

chikage: you're shamelessly optimistic

izumi: why thank you.

chikage: that wasn't a compliment

that exchange was so fun. like wow okay. I also liked how izumi was like hm. let’s throw chikage into opening night. I’m sure he’ll feel frustrated by how he doesn’t measure up and just Lets That Happen. I think it’s a sort of fun difference since she’s usually pretty gentle and sweet to people. not that she isn’t to chikage! she definitely is I mean he kidnapped her and she was worried abt his sleep schedule. but I think she like is more challenging towards him and that’s a rly fun dynamic. and then chikage making up a lie to justify his women hating. I’ve already explained my confusion on this so I’m just gonna conclude with ITS KUMON AND HE WANTS TO JOIN AKIGUMI!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!!! I’m SO hype for that like. I feel we’ll get some fun juza (and possibly banri?) bits that way… I actually have heard a bit abt kumon in that I feel like I’ve read smthing abt him having a kind of weak body? so we shall see about that but I’ve got a feeling that may be the reason he’s unable to join akigumi—since that’s an action-based troupe and all… I’m very excited since it seems like he hadn’t even thought abt joining summer troupe initially!! also I am so excited to see summer in full force again. hands clasped in prayer tenma & juza main story interactions? my secondary color trio? I don’t think that’ll actually happen but 1) I can dream and 2) I can write abt it. lol. I would also love to know the flower meanings of what chikage sends to hisoka pre act 2!!!

HELLOOO FRIEND OMG! so quick to finish it!! congratulation!!!

AND DLKJFDL GLAD TO SEE THEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE. Chikage. Good.

For the two questions.

Pretty sure the implication is espionage/spy works with various level of shady involved. In the EN server we get a little more glimpse into what Chikage does in particular, other than that i think in the JPN server there's been various events just talking more in depth about the Organization and their involvement in it.

Okay so I'm on a whole different level on it because i legit heard his story about his mom and went "yeah makes sense". While he's never that mean to anyone ever, he is deeply uncomfortable around women in general in others backstages especially and i remember a backstage late in the JPN development that mentions it's really a gut feeling and he's trying so hard nowadays to improve on that, and improve on knowing "if Izumi doesn't make me feel this unwell around women then maybe i'll be able to solve this gut reaction i have around women". I think the way he violently pushed Izumi away was definitely to keep her away because he had no reason to play nice with her, and usually he behaves just, normally, but he's really uncomfortable around women still. I would be inclined to believe he didn't tell EVERYTHING regarding his family situation but to me i would assume that something bad happened when he was a child enough to make him think as a defense mechanism "women=bad". To me there's abuse involved. The Organization is hinted to be all male and Chikage is hinted to have been recruited very young, so it's possible that the turn of event is, Chikage had a toxic upbringing and, esp with a child mind, blamed his mother for not protecting him, then he moved in an all male organization and meeting women was so anecdotical until late in his life that this defense mechanism truly got worse since then and now he has a hard time getting rid of it. Personally i can't see his argument fully as bullshit because hhhh i had my mom get me from household to household by getting in relationship with abusive men who were abusive toward me and my reaction was more to blame my mother for not listening to me and doing as she pleases than to specifically get mad at those guys, so, the whole reasoning Chikage is saying in this part (if we take it as a truth) to me makes sense. It's not fair nor reasonable but trauma, especially experienced as a child, rarely is.

On a more practical level, i think it's just meant to be a romance trope lol. While a3 is more found family focused a lot of backstages, esp SSR ones, and every 3rd mini chat, involves the characters flirting with Izumi (as a self insert more than a character), not to mention it happens as well on homepage's lines for like, vday or bday and stuff. And Chikage is definitely built around the trope of "he can't stand women (for traumatic reasons) but he makes an exception for you/you make him feel safer/he's willing to grow past his trauma as you make it easier for him.". It's pretty cheesy and i do dislike that it's the trope he was plagued with but that's kind of the reasoning. So yes Izumi "can be that special", that's the trope ahah.

but yeah no personally i'm team he must have had a deep trauma and at best he says the truth and it's only because he felt abandonned when he needed help by a parent, and at worse, something much worse happened for him to be this uncomfortable with being touched by women (because he generally handles conversation with women just fine, like, he treats women pretty normally, and it's when they get touchy or invade his personal space that he gets visibly uncomfortable. and even there he never gets physical in reclaiming his bondaries, he generally lies his way out in a pleasant way, it's really only with Izumi in the intro chap that he is this violent. When he really told off Izumi it was to make sure she kept her distances and else it's really only when they got physical that his reactions were a little more pushed, in general he handles being around her like a normal person. He was mostly violent because he didn't want to play nice with Hisoka's found family, in any other circumstances he takes upon himself.). And that's kind of a horrifying thought DLKFJDF the cause of the behavior was never extended on though.

On another note he does work on it a lot and came to acknowledge that he can't just let his trauma response get in the way of his life and interractions with 50% of the society, and he's been working on getting less uncomfortable around women. but yeah it's not "hate women" in a misogynist way sorta, it's really just, yeah.

anyway back to the chapter,

DLKFJDLFK RIGHT Wacchan is incredible, truly has a Voice Range. He really has such a nice voiiice and it helps building Chikage as a character so much i love it so much.

Izumi literally doesn't hold back against prick i love that for her <3 I find his acting really interesting as to inform us on his character, and you're right, i feel like Homare would be a good person to lock him with. (Hisoka's next evil plan i'm sure. Now that they're reconsiliated he can be evil on purpose like a little brother <3). I feel like the difference is that Homare is just like that while Chikage is probably just… something he forced himself to be so much it became as natural as breathing, as a spy and everything, and that's why once Mankai pried him open like an oysters he had a really hard time sorting it all out. Like what do you MEAN his mask doesn't protect him anymore. And i think having Homare being all nodding about the lack of human emotions esp now that the dam has been broken would just have Chikage stares into oblivion like, this is my life now.

GOD YEAH about his mask. IT's so fucking cool. It's really just, as long as he can act detached and pleasant he handles everything just fine but the moment things go awry he's struggling a lot more with his emotions and i just muah But yeah you're right, for the intense reaction to the potion i do think it's a mix of still grieving August so much that anyone touching a memento of him would be like fingers in his gapping wounds, and the fact Izumi is the person that "took Hisoka way from him" with the whole theater, or, at least, so heavily linked to how Hisoka "moved on", he especially becomes more irrational with that. Since at this point he still blames Hisoka for August's death, it's having an extention of Hisoka taking the last bit of August he still has away from him. And thus, irrational behavior. Basically yeah i think he handled spying much better in term of lying and all ahah but at the moment he's still grieving and handling it in the poorest, least healthy way, that anything that ends up touching the grief itself makes him act irrational.

you really got it all figured as you read ahah i'm amazed!!!! congratz!

I do love Izumi's behavior on it. While a lot of the others actors have been prick in their own way, they at least contained it at throwing it at each other and never at Izumi. She never really had to deal with any of them being antagonistic toward her and it was interesting to see her dynamic with Chikage when Chikage basically decided to be A Menace. And I love that she's allowed to be angry and frustrated about being treated like that and how much she had to handle when Chikage became even More Of A Menace.

Spring sleepover. Always good. I do love that Banri was able to see it too and like, Banri&Itaru, the duo of "tried to leave the Mankai company" being both "huh. your roommate isn't really trying to stay in the company. That's bad.". Meanwhile yeah, remember how in the Autumn Chapter when Banri is about to leave Sakyo tells him "you can leave but don't think you'll be allowed to come back" and Banri leaves anyway and he has to beg Sakyo to come back? Like i feel like Banri was really MHMMMMMMMMMMMMM WE DONT DO THAT HERE. I ADORE Sakura's comment though, yes. It was so insightful and Sakuya is so perceptive i love him so much. Sweet son. Yuzo's comment is so funny god. yeaaaahh agreed on the comment for Chikage, the org cannot be healthy. Like, man. This is not a healthy way to live his life.

I didn't even notice the parallelism between Spring putting thing in his food VS him putting stuff in Izumi's food LMAOOOOO, payback in the worst way possible (assassin style). I loved to see Spring do something that stupid. They want to bond with him so bad!!! but he's still A Menace so this was the worst plan they had in a long while.

Oh Hisoka not being native Japanese was pointed out actually? in the Winter chapter during the spy arc, Homare mentions that Hisoka indeed sounds shady as a "foreigner no one knows the origin of". in the anime i know they took it one step further with the spy confronting Hisoka and saying "it's true you entered this country illegally and are laying low in this theater company to escape crimes?". Hisoka and Chikage are definitely implied to not be Japanese. They can still be East Asian so people wouldn't pick it up as easily, but they're not Japanese. (there was a lot of talk back in the days about the possibility of Hisoka being Russian, both because of the descriptions of intense Winter from his youth and because he is compared to a Russian Short Hair Cat in the Christmas play. Do of that as you will.) And "Hisoka" and "Chikage" are not their birthname either, they're codenames August gave them for the mission. The only reason Hisoka remembers it as his name is that since it was a name given by August, it was the only time he was given a name out of love, and as such, he held on to this name. But it's also why Hisoka and Chikage's name have the meaning they have. Hisoka's is "Secretly" and Mikage involves "shadow" in its imagery, similarly for "Chikage", and "Utsuki", Chikage's last name, is a way to say "April". August didn't really think too far about all of this lmao. That's one of the reasons i mentioned the organization to be International in a previous ask tbh. And yeah they both learnt Japanese for the job, but it's implied they both speak a lot of others languages. Chikage says it a little more obviously (and he talks about "flying aboard for work" a lot) and for Hisoka we know he's very good at English as well. Hisoka fearing falling asleep though is so :(((.

"THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME ACTUALLY" LMAOOOOOOOO You're right. yes. But yes Chikage is just shady on purpose, he's so stupid i love that about a man. But yess i love how Izumi figured out the Chika-usa thing right away. It was really her moment of "Chikage redemption arc". And then he kidnapped her and it was just, ah. but yes it was so nice to see Chikage open up and Chikage getting some emotional and psychological warfare from Izumi reminding him of August.

yeah no it's a 50% of the troupe is like that. TO BE FAIR TO THEM THOUGH. THIS IS NICHE KNOWLEDGE BUT I NEED TO SHARE. But in Azuma's birthday SSR that came out like, a month before Chikage's intro chapter, Azuma…… kidnaps Izumi to a resort island with him and then specifically sends texts to the Mankai company to say "heheh we're on a date" and then leave them on read and take Izumi's phone when Masumi and Sakyo start to send death threat. Of course it's, not the same kind of kidnapping, Izumi was mostly conscenting to joining Azuma but didn't expect the trip and didn't expect they'd stay up the night, but MY POINT IS that IN RECENT MEMORY they had Azuma and Izumi "eloping" and leaving everyone on read because Azuma is a MENACE. So IN THEIR DEFENSE i think they have reasons to jump to the wildest conclusions since they can at least go "well. It did happen once." and then look at Azuma with a look of reproach while he's just 😇

yeah Chikage not being able to sleep is sad :( it is indeed a fantastic contrast with Hisoka yeah. For the record the official nickname for April/December/August is "Gekkagumi" because "Gekka" means both "month" and "moon" ("gumi" is troupe). In Chikage's song he talks about being alone under the shadow of the moon and the word he uses for that is especially "Gekka". (he also talks about "tears falling in secret" and the term for "in secret" there is "Hisoka", which also would express how his emotions and vulnerability is something he can only afford with Hisoka,at this point at least.) I think this is also the tongue-and-cheek reason why the Moon is such an important illustration for those two, since it's a wordplay on the fact months and moon is the same thing. Which therefore adds further to how their own sleeping cycle add to it yes. I really love how much Hisoka and Chikage are built as foil to one another. Even on their designs! Like, Chikage has green hair and clear eyes, Hisoka has white hair and green eyes. Their hair part in the opposite direction to one another, like it's mirrored. And i don't remember where it's mentioned but the state of Hisoka's hidden eye is a secret and it's not impossible that it's because he's blind from this eye, VS Chikage wearing fake glasses (he doesn't need them) giving an illusion of perfect vision. With the irony, of course, that it was Chikage who was blind to the truth. and ofc Sugar VS Spice and their general personality and, of course, their sleep patern.

But yes in Sleeping we trust. I think it's such a sweet way to show that Hisoka's "quirk" which Chikage mostly frowned upon, ended up being both of their salvation and the indication that they can both lay down and rest. Chikage being kept awake is a shown of his lack of trust and amount of things to work on which shows the toxic hold the Organization has on him, and as such, Sleeping is instead associated with the safety of being able to rest around people who are here for you. It's really such a nice thematic they work on here.

WINTER IS SO SO SWEET I COULDNT STOP CRYING. Literally the whole scene about how "just how heavy is that sin you bear?" "perhaps it's heavy enough for the five of us to carry together" IN TEAAAARS IN TEARS IN TEARS LOVE IS REAL LOVE IS IN FUYU im fine im fine BUT YOU GET ME. They're all here for him in their own way and it really showcase their arc so far too. From Homare learning to read his emotions, Tsumugi ready to be here to carry his troupe with confidence, Tasuku being there physically to do that, and Azuma helping him find solace in his sleep… It's just. God Winter is so well written. The payup to their arc was so good.

Hisoka losing his memories on his bday is so sad goodness. BUT GODD YEAH. YEAH THIS WHOLE BIT. YEAH. Between Hisoka going to confront Chikage and just, knowing Homare had supported him this whole time, and this surety like you said!! god i love Fuyu i love Fuyu i love- I love Chikage's reaction to it all god. Like, i think he convinced himself he wanted to destroy December because it was the normal thing to want right? He thought Hisoka killed August, and faked his death, he blamed Hisoka for the distress he was in, and so, he put all of his distress and turned it into rage and revenge to carry on. But he never actually wanted harm on Hisoka and it's only when harm almost happened that he realized that. So blinded by revenge he was about to destroy the one thing he should have been happy to still have. His pure despair when everything sinks in and especially that Hisoka did nothing wrong is just. Everything to me. Like seriously i wasn't too hot on Chikage at first because i was so pissed at how he was treating Hisoka, but the moment the line "what do i do now…. in the end the one who was betrayed by his own family… was you by my own hand" was uttered i did a 180° and was just oh okay i would die for Chikage actually. Thanks for your time. Just the absolute devastation of realizing he was becoming the monster he had seeked to destroy, and turned the destruction he felt was righteous as a way to cope against the only person he never actually wanted to harm? God this is good angst. This is SUCh an interesting character bit. (his chara song also kinda confirms it, "rather than fooling others, i'm better at fooling myself" i'm putting my fist in my mouth)

BUT YEAH GOD the alternative universe where Chikage was just a little too late and Hisoka had drank the potion is just. GOD. Winter would love him all over again, they'd be here every step of the way, and Chikage would probably be spiral so damn much because of the guilt. I see why a3 didn't do it, like you say, but holy shit what an amazing angst fuel this idea is. but yes, agreed, Chikage loves his family too much to let it happen. Everything he wanted about Hisoka's destruction was just his grief lashing out and was never something he actually meant.

i think it's actually a good time to mention the flowers Chikage sent? the first bouquet he sent were Marigolds. They represent "Jealousy, despair, grief" in the Japanese flower language. (in other flower languages it can also means happiness, joy and good luck, but it depends how much Chikage knew that) There's a clear mix there, but to me it seems Chikage was basically sending his anguish to Hisoka. His Jealousy that Hisoka could move on (or how close Hisoka and August used to be), the despair he's been into ever since they both left, this grief. But also perhaps a part of him was wishing him happiness, joy and good luck. The second bouquet was of Zinnias. Zinnias, in the Japanese Flower Language, means "thoughts of absent friends, I mourn your absence". This one is far more explicit. Could it be about August? Of course, but i don't think so. I think it was a way for Chikage to call for help. He was genuinely mourning BOTH of them. He also lost Hisoka himself, in his mind. He saw Hisoka bloom on stage and befriend more people, and he lost him, he was no longer part of his life. No matter how they were before, Chikage loves Hisoka dearly and he still lost him.

(and i mean it for the call for help, do listen to his song: he keeps calling for help in it. Song is set before the conclusion of Awakening Moon so it's still his revenge self singing.)

So yeah it's just. a lot. I love them a lot.

LKDFJLKDF Izumi lying to everyone sure was funny. She tried. Thank you Hisoka for the back up. But yes i'd love more people to get to know about Chikage's background at least. And yes!! Spring is a family! and that includes Chikage, who lost his family, who was about to destroy the family he had left, being forcefully adopted into his own new family. fun fact! the flower associated with Chikage is the lilly of the valley, which means "return to happiness". It fits doesn't it? He lost his family but now he can have a new one. He can return to being happy….

yeah Itaru calls him Senpai, he's very cheeky about it. Itaru facing him was indeed so funny and i do love the whole thing keeping in mind Itaru almost left the company, it really was "okay time to unleash our secret "stay in Mankai" weapon. Sakuyaaaaa we need yoouuuuuu". AND THEN SAKUYA!!!! YEAH WHEN YOU FIGURED OUT FOR THE COIN TOSS I WAS EHEHEHEHEH!!! Sleeping together sure works super well for Harugumi. It's really so funny. And god yeah it sure tells a lot about how he saw Hisoka doesn't it…. man those guys. I think it's also that, just… Hisoka has been his sibling for a huge chunk of their lives when Hisoka betrayed him. Like i mentioned i think a part of him knew all along and he was fooling himself, that he still cared too much for Hisoka to turn this betrayal around. It was still his brother, no matter the amount of pain they went through. But Spring is a new family, Spring is barely getting to know him, and it's not fair that he would join this family while he only ever joined to hurt them and betray them. And also, to be fair, at this point Chikage flipped the script around as well in term of who betrayed who. He sees himself as the one who betrayed Hisoka for being unable to listen to the truth. I think it's also a case of Chikage holding himself to another standard. It's okay if his brother betrays him. That's his little brother, of course he can accept it. But it isn't okay that Chikage betrayed him, and everyone else who tried to be a family with him. Like Chikage is taking the blunt of his actions more brutally. And i think it can reflect on the idea of Chikage mostly taking it all upon himself, that he's the one who has to manage and know not to hurt others. If he says the truth about his living condition with his mom and step dad, it could be indicative on how stuff happened there, but because of what i said earlier, i'll leave it at that.

It was nice to see them discuss the Spring troupe's play but what i love about it is that, Chikage replies about it in awe on some levels? like "what Clockwork Heart wasn't finished until the very last day? could never have guessed", it means that, he didn't just come to see the Winter troupe plays. Probably because it was easier to hide his attention from Itaru by taking tickets for all the plays, or at least also Itaru's, and also perhaps to collect information on everyone. But it also feels like he got to care about those plays still enough that he's surprised by all of this. Like esp Clockwork which is also a story about grief to an extend. Knowing to lock away something to bring both of you peace until the System stops hunting you down and all. Considering Chikage threatens Hisoka telling him that if the Organization learnt he was alive, they'd destroy everything Hisoka cared for, i wonder if he could project there. Learning to lock away the knowledge that the one he cares for is still alive because the "system" isn't ready for it yaknow? But yes it's weird to see mention of Clockwork without talking about Mizuno, so wild.

Speaking of plays and the way Chikage must have felt watching them: i mentioned how i think seeing Hisoka playing characters uncaring about death/assuring that avoiding death isn't an option, probably messed Chikage up in that level of grief he was into. But i need to remind that MMMBM is a story where Hisoka investigate a murder that happened between siblings, with one of them seemingly "betraying" the other, only then to learn that the death was a mean to free them from the prison that was the obligation the sibling was tied to. I don't think Chikage would have been fully receptive to the whole plot other than "sibling kills siblings" that could have fired him up, but the whole scope of it is so daunting.

Anyway back to the scene itself, i also really like Chikage's sprite here, he looks so nice. AND HELPP. Tsuzuru's thearpy session via Theater winning once again.

i loved to see Sakuya express all of this, it's so good. AND THE HARUGUMI ILLUSTRATION IS SO GOOD. THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE. cat behavior. And the fact that despite all of them piling in, Chikage didn't wake up. That all of them makes him feel safe enough that he can sleep with all of them!! and the way all of them nuzzle next to them. also Tsuzuru's "oh well if you can't beat them." before joining them is so cute to me, the one person who could have opposed to it went, yknow what, fuck it, nap time with the family. They're all so adorable i love this CG so much.

the play was SOOO GOOD. the costumes were all amazing, indeed they all look so nice. Masumi probably was such a lazy wizard the laziness carried to the design ahah. The effects must be incredible yes, it must be a blast to see. I want to see it so bad!! and especially i love Citron's voice acting? like man it really shows how much he improved with Japanese he's so good. and omg for the music. I can imagine yes. Fun fact on the Blooming Live stage what they did for the hot air balloon was that they had a plateform that could move in the crowd in which they sang many songs (a lot of the group songs, but also Captain Sky's pirate song with the platform looking like a pirate ship), and they had a hot air balloon's prop attached to it, it looked SOOOOO cool. I doubt a3 in universe could do that but i still think about it so fondly.

Hisoka teasing Chikage is EVERYTHING, i love it so much. I wonder how everyone sees it now like, Hisoka was clearly distant with Chikage at first, sometimes downright distressed, and now he's there teasing the fuck out of him in pure little sibling behavior. i love them so much. And Homare is always so funny god.

HELPPP the trio of Guillible Kids. to be fair Tenma is going to fall for Chikage's lies a lot. There's a minichat later about how Chikage/Itaru/Citron all team up to lie to Tenma and Tenma is genuinely "i didn't think it was true but the three of them says it is so it must be right???" like. baby. Who allowed them together they're a menace. AND HELPPP. Tsumugi just knows of the loose ends at the company!! as for the Org well. Well! That's a problem for future them! BUT YESS WINTER'S REACTION IS SO MUCH. I love Hisoka worrying, Tsumu and Azuma reassuring him, and Tasuku and Homare teasingly roasting him. They're my troupe i love them so much……….

And the CG is SO GOOD i love the amount of emotions these two show there it's guuuh :(((((. BUT HELP FOR THE TYPO. i'm sure it's a typo but i'm taking the HC of Hisoka stumbling on Japanese as well, because why not, that's so funny.

and yess the hostility between Izumi and Chikage is so funny. they really have a neat dynamic, i love it very much.

One last thing about Chikage i don't know where to put but, Izumi jokes about how Chikage can now help them carrying Hisoka around and Chikage goes dark like "i did that all my life i'm not doing this again" < he says while lying because of course he would do it again, it's Hisoka.

and funnily enough, the very first time Chikage appears in the whole story is when Winter is doing a street act and right after it, Hisoka falls asleep and Tasuku catches him, and it's right when Izumi thinks THIS that Chikage slides into the screen:

IT'S SO SPECIAL TO ME LIKE. Hisoka's own personal taxi forshadowing. But also possibly Chikage seeing Tasuku taking care of Hisoka the way Chikage used to take care of him and having a hard time with the fact that he has to see his little brother, whom he was mourning, having easily replaced him.

(also also also pleaaase read Chikage and Hisoka's Coin talk. They're so freaking cute.)

ok now we can close the book on Chikage, now,

AND KUMOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! it's going to be fun, how could it not be! I'm of course not saying anything but Kumon's plot is really neat so i hope you'll enjoy it! I hope if it doesn't give you Tenma&Juza content it gives you some fuel to imagine more Tenma&Juza content, this is the best we can hope for!

And for the flowers i shared them earlier when it made sense to share them eheheh :3c but yeah, here's a trip!

Congratulation on knowing more about Chikage!!! Here you go, here you know him, my Menace of a man. God what a good chapter.

Hope you have fun with the others chapters and i'm still looking forward to see your reactions :3c take care!