#but like. sometimes it ends up with gold
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, filing this under aus that i can never write but will haunt me for the rest of my life
#gardener!will is not a want its a NEED#hanaa is literally so fucking funny abt them i sorta feel bad for telling her sm against her will that she resorts to humour immediately#but like. sometimes it ends up with gold#nbc hannibal#faera's
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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a lot of clipping to fix, but hey I got it moving at least! I'll get the Telvanni robe properly physic'd if it's the last thing I do >:0
#last i checked the vanilla hdt clothes on the nexus didn't cover solstheim content#but i wanted to finally learn to do proper hdt bones myself anyway so its fine :)#this was a nightmarish mess before i separated the black underskirt to its own group#now it swishes around nicely and collides without going through the red outer skirt#i still haven't figured out the crouching/sneaking problem where it'll sometimes phase through the thighs like they don't exist#but that seems to happen to other people's outfits too so maybe it's not just mine? idk yet lol#hmmm i think that back flap thing with the gold trim is gonna have to be separated too. it stretches out weirdly :/#also. should the scarf get to move? maybe just the dangling ends?#bc the rest can't really move since there's nothing under the scarf. it's just glued at the edges to the chest of the outfit#which is good bc it's optimized well so the game isn't rendering the neck part of the robes that you don't even see#but I'd have to create new faces on the mesh to fill in the unseen gaps like i did when splitting the skirts up#and also i'm too lazy to map that new fancy chest area and draw out the missing texture with all the telvanni swirls :'(#help me motivation gods#modding stuff#my posts#i want nelly to be able to swish around prettily like anyone else <3#guys deserve some physic'd outfit love too
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i love suns and pebbles canon dynamic in my head its kind of weird and fucked up and i wish more people depicted it as that (tag ramble incoming)
#i have a lot of thoughts about suns as a character#since theres not much from them in the story its mostly headcanon though#i think suns is someone who desperately wants to be liked and admired#like maybe theyre one of the youngest in their local group (i think theyre in a separate neighboring group to moons)#and they're not really used to being looked up to in any capacity#so pebbles is the first person who really respects them in that way and because of that they have this weird contradictory relationship#where sometimes suns relishes in that dynamic a little too much and holds the power over pebbles head and gets a little mean#and sometimes because suns still wants pebbles to keep liking and admiring them they can get a little too indulgent of him#hence the gold pearl. i think suns gave it to him bc they wanted him to find some kind of happiness but there was also a selfish element#'if i give this to him he'll like me more' etc#i dont think suns is intentionally cruel i just think they had never had that kind of relationship before and fucked a lot of things up#after spearmaster they start to get better at it esp since spearmaster is kind of a second chance for them. so suns learns to be kinder#on pebbles' end. i like to think pebbles was a lil infatuated with them. esp because he felt like they were the only one who understood him#unreciprocated tho. suns cared about him but more from a mentorly point of view than anything#kind of a weird thing where he looked up to them as an authority figure but also really kind of wanted them to be on the same level#in conclusion: toxic robot yuri can be cool sometimes#text#rain world
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pet peeve is when a story tells us something is aberrant, but it seems to matter more about who does the behavior than the behavior itself. rorschach in snyder's watchmen isn't going too far; we watch nite owl and silk spectre ii snap necks and arms with gleeful, loving abandon, in slow motion no less, while they lecture the audience about rorschach's violence. heroes frequently torture the plot contrivance out of a villain and then moralize to the camera when the villains do the same. indominus rex's killing spree doesn't shock or appall me; all the jurassic world dinosaurs act like mindless killing machines, and the camera lingers, rapturous, on their cruelty. it's not an outlier. there's nothing interesting about it beyond as a set piece.
in a better script, the indominus rex would have had pathos; a chimera made for entertainment, for profit, stitched together with no regard for itself and placed in a lonely box. a freak among freaks. of course it would be mad. but the film wasn't interested in it as an animal, or a character, only as a moving piece of scenery for people to scream at or breathe tensely while it can clearly smell and reach them but doesn't, because it isn't a character and doesn't have motivations.
it's just sort of boring, i suppose. it tries like all other empty drab things do to cover it with bombast and roaring and soaring brassy scores but it's just sort of dull. a sprawl of nothing.
conversely peele's nope is a transcendent monster movie, imo, because it thinks about the the whys and hows, how jean jacket perceives the world, how the world perceives her, and lets that shape the narrative as much as jupe or emerald or gordy. they consulted biologists and behaviorists, digging into the meat of it. the creature as a camera as an animal as a device. nope has layers. it takes its own insane premise seriously, and has something to say, and is a goddamn good movie. i forgot where i was going with this.
#always rattling that quote from peele about the difference between horror and comedy being a matter of timing#creature horror is my favorite horror and most of it is Bad but i love it. sometimes you strike genuine gold and other times. well.#drives me crazy when monsters behave only in ways meant to be scary rather than how a real living thing would act. you can do both.#i remember hearing about a woman attacked by a moose in her own back yard. it gored and stomped her then left back into the woods#a few minutes later as she tried to crawl away it came back and attacked her again. terrifying! for no purpose!#a prey animal attack is often more frightening and vicious than a predator's imo#because to be eaten -- that carries its own logic. a prey animal though holds fear and rage and desperation in the core of it. it Knows.#a lion is a simple creature compared to a beef bull who just managed to corner the farmer against the fence#unlike say movie monsters continuing to chase and kill and attack while a volcano goes off around them and literally burns them to death#don't get me started on the icy swimming feathered raptor#also the goddamn dimetrodon in the caves like. i have never seen a beast less suited for a goddamn cave. why is it acting like that.#the book jurassic park goes into the behaviors and dynamics and such of the dinosaurs and what it means that we made them and why#using the cutting edge of science to craft both story and its monsters#but the franchise is dreadfully incurious#as many franchises end up being in the end#frog croaks#i guess i wanted to complain about the jurassic world franchise specifically actually#i haven't read crichton since high school. maybe i should revisit and see if my opinion holds lol
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the whole one hour and forty minutes of op stampede are worth it even just for that half a second of interaction between mihawk and zoro actually thank you and amen 🙏
#he saves his ass#and then looks at him and smirks......#ahshshshsjdjsh that's his dad!!!! healthy father son rivalry i say!!!!#tbh I don't usually feel like watching op movie much#i..... don't exactly read op for the fights and the movies are usually just fights so#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#but sometimes I'm in the specific mood of seeing weird team ups or interactions so i end up watching a bunch of movies one after the other#stampede is............eh#it's okay ig a bit too exaggerated for my tastes but that's just the op movies usual taste#only the movies can make me question how things work in the op universe btw usually I'm down for anything#but then i watch a movie and I'm like “is that really how that is supposed to work...?”#Anyway I'm always up for seeing law being treated as part of the crew#and my zoro stan heart cries when i say this but I'm sorta always up for seeing law act as a sub captain for the crew huhuhu#sorry first mate i swear i would never try to take your spot from you#anyway law picking up robin was sweet law seeking luffy as a safe space was beautiful sabo's........#everything but especially his interactions with smoker were fun#but like the whole movie was really more of just a spot the cameo than anything 😂 it's okay!!!#I'm not lying when i say watching it was worth it even just for zoro and mihawk#that's the small stuff i watch the movies for anyway huhuhu#next one....gold. i don't think i watched that yet either#that's for another day tho now sleep
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Ideas rolling in my head. When to write them how to write them I want to write too many things to write so many ideas need to post I want validation I want to write I can’t write I have ideas I want to write I want to write i want to write
#so like what if I just wrote the epilogue of black sweatshirt just skipped to the end hahaha#though I am so excited for Reigen and Serizawa and mystery third person adventures and shenanigans in the main story#also why do i need so much validation on my writing and art#i wish I didn't#i grew up with gold stars and job well dones being my addiction#sometimes I wish I could ride the flow better
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Yesterday I watched Cartoon Saloon’s short “Screecher’s Reach”, and thought Daal’s hair was almost exactly like how I envision Mathilde Lachance’s hair, so I decided to try and draw her. Today I stopped cleaning up the sketch after about an hour because I got bored, so it’s going here.
#nevermoor#nevermoor fanart#mathilde lachance#idk if anyone’s ever drawn her before (which makes sense bc no description) but I wanted to give it a shot#I’ve always envisioned her like. goth former art student. just the vibe of a pretentious 20s-30s artist who is also kinda goth. for funsies#when I said this blog is where I ‘dump’ my fanart I am being serious. bc sometimes I just quit part way through. lol.#I always try to be one of those ppl that ‘renders’ just by cleaning up their sketch + flats and then I always get bored and stop doing it#I need to stop avoiding doing lineart bc I actually enjoy doing it. when I do otherwise I just end up w a bunch of half finished stuff loll#anyways. I haven’t drawn in ages bc college sucked all my time and energy. but I just graduated 💪 and I’m excited to get back into things.#especially nevermoor stuff!!! bc I have so many ideas!!!!!#fun fact for if you’ve read this far: I like giving wundersmiths bright golden eye highlights when I draw them. just for fun!#the gold of wunder goes sooo well w the black/purple color scheme of morrigan. genius idea from jess. that’s why I always love drawing mog!#I may never draw stuff but rest assured I’m always thinking abt how I would draw nevermoor ppl/places/things and why#I have so many thoughts and my nevermoor brainrot is also is where my art/animation brain and media adaptation brain get to combine#I am going to be insufferable when (if?) the movie starts being made and I am not even sorry#anyways. enjoy this lq image. bc this is a screenshot and I have a problem with drawing way too small lol. oops.
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meme aside lmao but kuukou would be bored enough to do this with his vegetables lol
#vee queued to fill the void#he’ll spend an hour or two messing with the vegetables he SHOULD be prepping for the harai family dinner#and recreates this but it’s his dragon complete with butternut squash for the gold parts lmao#and he’s proudly taking pics and blowing up jyushi and hitoya’s phones with them lol#when shakku materialises from nothing in the kitchen bc his punk ass son senses were tingling lol#and whacks kuukou upside his head for getting sidetracked and playing with his food lol#when they get into their infamous harai family brawling session it end because shakku absolutely unhinged by this point#eats kuukou’s cucumber squash dragon whole and that is the end of that LOL#there’s this artist on twitter who draws food like dinosaurs and whenever i stumble across their art#i find myself wishing kuukou was real lol he’d love to see that#i think we should get more ‘kuukou’s bored so he’ll be artsy for a bit’ content lol he can draw he can play guitar (?)#he might make his own jewelry and sometimes his clothes lends itself to his own customisations AND I WANNA WATCH HIM DO IT LOL
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god i miss my obsession with heroes of the storm. i had whole entire headcanons for all the blizz characters and their interactions existing in the nexus. they lived in my head rent-free
i fucking shipped raynor and diablo (Seriously, no joke lol)
#bro i would just ship anything#i still do ngl#actually. shipping is still kinda important to me#gets me through the rough patches sometimes#ramblings#I FORGOT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DIABLO THIRST POST BUT ENDED UP TALKING ABOUT HOTS INSTEAD#I just miss this game#i played in strictly AI mode with AI teammates#then they ruined the ai teammates and made them so brainless so i stopped playing#and lost interest#grinding the skins and gold was a pain too. it's very slow with AI games#games in maintenance mode. it sucks because it is a fun game#blizz's core audience just isnt into the MOBA genre#if they wanted to play MOBA they'd play league. but they wouldnt because they like Blizz games#I liked HoTS. yeah sure it's a moba. but it's blizzard's take on one#and i like blizzard's characters#im attached to them... i cant get into new ones anymore it's hard#hots
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Now i'm thinking about what's the right balance to keep G1 SG au tonally consistent, and feeling at least a little like the G1 cartoon it's based on. Particularly with the PARD incident idea.
I mean G1 can get really dark under the surface, and a little bit ON THE SURFACE too, but still.
Idk, because on average I've observed that shattered glass in total tends to get darker than baseline (but hey that's based on the SG comics I read and fanfiction so many my sample size isn't big enough)
In my opinion, it's easy for something to come off as darker than intended so you might have to treat it like adding blue paint to other colors: a little truly does go a long way.
#but hey that's a suggestion based on my own experiences with writing#there'll be surface level things that if you overthink WILL get darker#also_ in g1 a lot of the decepticons get stuck in frankly hilarious shenanigans so don't forget the shenanigans#the petty and ultimately lighthearted arguments and rivalries#maccadam#transformers#g1 sg au#sometimes you need an episode that reads like a tumblr shitpost that you just know will end up in a youruber's r/tumblr reddit reading vid#i am absolutely remembering all the ''mEGATRON HAS FALLEN! I STARSCREAM AM NOW LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS'' jokes#also the purple griffin thing. and galvatron consistently shouting all the time. and the cons dipping themselves into electrum (gold?)#transformers generation one#idk#go as dark or lighthearted as you want
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im just obsessed with his themes and motifs, i love when guys have suffering tailor-made just for them, and i love watching how their psyche tries to grow through the torture dungeon's twisting labyrinth, until the shape of their soul is a cast of it
#it's like pouring molten metal into an ant colony to make a cast#rational thoughts being the ants#mr delver i wont u...#this one goes out to all my favorite blorbos though#only the men though surprisingly i have a different type for women (creator of the torture dungeon)#but yea kakashi went through this too and it was so potent it probably shaped my 13 year old brain for good#though i gotta say in the suffering olympics raymond is probably one of the only ones to give kakashi a run for his money like i legit#hjave a hard time handing out the gold to either of them#i guess i would honestly HONESTLY have to hand it to raymond which is so!!! girl kakashi is an active combatant living under martial law To#but kakashi gets the chance to get better and he gets it multiple times... kakashi ends up with a family... even when things are bad he has#comrades and??? not to be like that but he has power. he's not helpless. he COULD have run away from it all (not saying he shouldve but it#was an OPTION at least)#Raymond is connecticut clarke if connecticut clarke had to resist against the forces of hell itself alone for his entire life with little t#no hope of ever escaping. no family. likely no friends (definitely none that are close and understand his situation). the only power he has#is a get out of jail free card but it's not free you have to carve a bit off of mama you gotta have a kidnapping victim to torture like. he#has nothing.#AND THE DAMN GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD ONLY WORKS SOMETIMES LIKE????? get crumpled ig
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Been finishing up act 2 of bg3. It's a good thing I find the battle systems so fun bc Hoo Boy there sure do be battles
#speculation nation#im going the epic hero direction this run. mostly bc i care about saving innocents' lives as much as possible#which means Killing Necromancers...... ugh.#cloudkill my beloathed. me n my homies hate cloudkill (used against us at least)#i got my vampire kicked into a fucking CHASM i had to reload a save 😭😭😭#he's been phenomenally unuseful in these fights bc theres so many people and so few places to hide#usually hes one of my biggest damage dealers. and sometimes he can get a good shot in#but a lot of turns hes just firing one dinky lil arrow and then hiding in the corner#...... i keep forgetting about the fancy arrows. i have so many of those. i should try to remember them when i get to the Big battle.#which. hmmm. we r gonna hope it's not Too difficult a battle. ive been able to get thru every battle so far in this game#turns out im Pretty Damn Good at this game. to the point where i'll brute force it and still end up fine.#the literal only battle i had to leave and go back for was the big spider queen thing in the bottom of the well. she was scary.#im level 9 now tho and full of so much guts n grit. and loot. holy fucking shit the loot.#im looting every body (including fallen allies. sorry guys ur gold's goin to a good cause.)#i have karlach with a like 460 carrying capacity but she STILL keeps getting encumbered. from all the armor.#im making fucking Thousands off this tower capture im gonna have so much fucking money#once i leave here and can actually. sell them all 😂#anyways i have been having fun! had to stop for the night bc it's late. but i will be killing thorny ass tomorrow. mark my words.
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I don’t want to jinx it but I think I might have fixed this plot-hole
#apologies for my fic writing blogging omg you can blacklist this tag:#sage writes#or#fool's gold#and i'll try to be more consistent about tagging#this project feels like a big one and i'm getting excited over it so i've been spamming a lot about it ;_;#anyway YAAYYY!!!!#BUT i noticed i'm doing that thing again where i kind of write the same beginning formula...#like for example: queer quartet shows up in new place. they meet a woman who welcomes them and they all sit down and have dinner -#- with the rest of the locals. here the woman explains shit to them / they learn about the place and some Thing going on.#bonus points if they're drinking alcohol too.#i meean... every writer has a sort of story/formula they write over and over again right...? idk maybe only i'm noticing this -#- and it's not even a big deal. this one isn't really a mystery though. it has mysterious elements but regardless.#it's slightly more house of the dragon + oldschool ghibli inspired. like there's gonna be some family drama and grey morality.#if it does end up being really similar to all my other plotty fics i deeply apologize. and also plotty fics take a ton of effort!!#sometimes ideas subconsciously get repeated... but also i really like to incorporate the message / conflict of the movie into fics#so there's always a good chance some bozo is going to get greedy about immortality or power in my plotty fics#okie back to my doc before this caffeine wears off
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fishbowl blogging
progress is so slow when your brain can only do like 40 minutes of Thought Thinking a day but like
I'm writing fanfic snippets for Beyond Evil and The Guest! With the hope of stringing together some plotty plot fics! :U
Still haven't managed to art yet bc i only have one (1) activity in me per day and sometimes I Have to dedicate it to, uh, Making Oatmeal or something.
But soon I hope to dedicate one of these days to some fanart! I have feelings about Lee Dongsik's face 🥺
#also sometimes i have energy to try and art but end up stopped by hand tremors#booooooo i wanna express gay yearning :(((#also the fishbowl is just the office where i have things made kinda accessible. there's a giant painting of a gold fish.#i feel like i'm in a fishbowl which is to say...sure do be small and unstimulating :<#personal
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snapppp i hope you know you're the reason i gave y3 a chance (the reviews on steam are so brutal for no reason ToT) and it ended up being my fave game in the series so you get a medal and a gold star for that
MY PROPAGANDA WORKED
#snap chats#SEE#SEE Y3 GOOD#NEVER DOUBT ME Y3 GOOD#IM GLAD IT'S ONE OF YOUR FAVES MY DUDE !!!!!#i do not see the steam reviews for Y3 because any wrong opinion doesn't exist to me#y3 is perfect and good and if you're dying at the combat Literal Skill Issue#just buy 13 guns and you're good as gold#i should replay Y3 sometime :(( BUT ISHIN'S COMING OUT NEXT WEEK HAHA#also i. i started another y7 playthrough 👉👈#who else was traumatized by their mom growing up and cant watch the second cutscene raise your hand now#girls see this is what i mean when i say masumi was tryna end generational trauma smh#im getting off topic SORRY i dont wanna write my paper but i prob should start :((#send me asks in the meantime ??#or at least send energy that'll make me believe asks are being sent so i'll feel like i have to do my paper first before checking#OK BYE I REALLY SHOULD START THIS it wont take long but yk
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