#also day four of the event?????
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every time someone calls caleb their ‘childhood friend’ i die a little inside
#HES UR BROTHER#BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!#niisan!!! gege!!!! oppa!!!!!! BROTHER#i like that infold left it up to interpretation in the english localization bcoz it gives those uncomfy with the pseudocest an out#but i agree that a LOT of the cards end up sounding a little awkward due to the refusal to call him her brother#like intertwined gold????? dude that ENTIRE card was fucking forbidden romance#why would caleb call himself a MONSTER if he wasn’t ur adoptive brother be so for real with me right now#also day four of the event?????#‘sometimes i wish we were strangers so we wouldn’t have to make up excuses to hold hands’#UMMMMMMMMMMM#HELLO#HELLOOOOOOOOO-OO-OOO#i’m paraphrasing obv but wow#wow!!!!!!!!!!!#caleb’s whole fucking shtick is that this is forbidden#wrong#something they shouldn’t really be doing#i have heard that in cn/jp it’s framed as ‘i don’t JUST want to be a brother figure to you’#which makes sense#not ‘oh boo hoo we’re ??? childhood??? friends???’#anyway#idk how that’s supposed to be ‘wrong’ in any sense of the word idk idk#shrugging so hard#clari chatters
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-ˋˏ .·:·. ⊱ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐛𝐲 @pavus — day one: 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.
— 𝐈𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐑 . 𝐕𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐃𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀 . 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄.
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐒. 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒.
— 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (mutuals can opt in/out via 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 <3):
@loriane-elmuerto, @carrionsflower, @auricfog, @girliefailure, @sunsofdawn
@risingsh0t, @griffin-wood, @lilywatt, @full---ofstarlight, @grapecaseschoices
@tommyarashikage, @shadowsofrose, @shadowglens, @weisshaupts, @queennymeria
@deadrlngers, @d-esmond, @courtana, @gothimp, @wlwaerith
@unholymilf, @aezyrraeshh, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @shellibisshe, @florbelles
@celticwoman, @neonshrike, @cloudofbutterflies92, @adelaidedrubman, @carlosoliveiraa
@pinkfey, @spookyrares, @yharnams, @aceghosts, @confidentandgood
@theelderhazelnut, @leviiackrman, @ellierenae, @anoras, @lavampira
@dialdrunk, @full---ofstarlight, @imogenkol
#oc: irulanne ingellvar#oc: vethari de riva#oc: cassia thorne#leg.ocs#leg.edits#*myedits#*ocedit#veilguard30#dragon age oc#datv oc#dav oc#datv#dav#dragon age rook#userimogen#oo moots w/tracking tags i cant recall if ive asked before (i think i did?) but please feel free to lmk if youd like me to tag ur tracking!#ITS STILL THE FIRST HERE THANK HEAVENS I MADE IT IN TIME (ish<3) spent all day on this ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!#the other rooks are veeery wips rn so i will do one of these for them soon HEHE <3#i think i have like..... four more kdfjfkn IM SO SOO STOKED TO YELL ABOUT THEM SOON RAHHH#and happiest first day of dragon game month besties and moots <3 WERE IN THE TWENTIES feeling very normal about it!!!!#for sure will be doing a few of the writing prompts for the next few days before i do another edit brain FRIED egg <33 eek it was worth it!#the happiest with how this turned out and the blurbs of info the coloring from cavalierfou on deviant worked SO well with this!!#divider is by saradika it fits THE LOVELIEST with this as well EEEEK.#hopefully the names are easy to be seen <3#ANYWAY i am so soo stoked to yell about my dragon game dearies and the rooks and see what everyone creates for this!!!!!!#THANK YOU THANK YOUU MO FOR CREATING THIS EVENT youre a treasure its day 1 and i had soo much fun with this!! tyty again!#besties and moots also also if you read all of this im baking you cookies!!
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When Thunder stays with Clear Sky for a while, does Clear ever insist on referring to him as Thunder Sky?
Towards the end yes, as the final detail to Thunder Storm that Clear Sky doesn't love him. He wants to ERASE him.
If Clear Sky recognizes he's made a mistake in casting Bright Storm away with their child, he's incapable of seeing it was wrong because it was cruel. He wants what he realizes he threw away, because he now sees it has value. He wants to own his oldest son the way he wants to own the entire forest-- as a reflection of his greatness.
Anything that makes Clear Sky uncomfortable about Thunder Storm has to be sanded down. The assertiveness was the first thing, he feels insecure when he's challenged, the child must learn to follow before he may learn to lead.
The second is that leg, presenting a prosthetic as a gift (that he isnt allowed to refuse), because he can't have been wrong about the choice that killed his younger brother-- here is a SOLUTION that simply didn't exist before! Behold how resourceful and wealthy his cats are, compared to your old group. We've fixed you.
(This prosthetic is a clunky piece of shit that is annoying to strap on every day, gets in the way and makes a ton of noise, and itches like hell, but the change in Clear's demeanor is immediate if Thunder doesn't wear it.)
But somehow, Thunder Storm was willing to take all of that. In hindsight, it bothers him that the tipping point wasn't the other two things.
Bright Storm gave her son her own last name. When Clear Sky sent them away and the Mountain Cats permanently split, it was pointed. "My only survivor is named for myself." SHE would raise him, alone.
Bright Storm herself slowly seemed to lose sight of the meaning, encouraging him to understand his father's good aspects, but in the meanwhile it took on a new meaning to Thunder. His mother raised him. He found a father in Shaded Flower. He grew up next to Lightning Cry and Acorn Swoop. Thunder Storm means this. It's the person he made himself, and the love they've all put into him.
Thunder SKY is just another monument to Clear Sky, stripping away the life he lived without him. And WHY? For ego? For comfort?
"What am I letting him DO to me?!"
It wasn't the final STRAW, but it was the tipping point. Once Thunder Storm had this realization, the minute he was not going to budge on something, that confrontation was inevitable. The blowout fight was making reservations.
Sunlit Frost is still the breaking point, the injury from his burn going sour, but I'm going to emphasize the way that Clear Sky only called that meeting in the first place as an abuse game. Thunder Storm knew it was coming-- but it still sickens him that it was something THIS monstrous.
#And then he had to rescue bumble just a day or two later#That event is shuffled. In canon it's often forgotten that Bumble's murder and the fantastic lie come before the Frost scene#In fact he's like visibly agitated because Turts didn't buy his shitty lie and gray didn't obey an egotistical order#Gray is completely capable of being wise when he realizes the patrol is going to kill him if he doesn't shut up#Guywho was TOTALLY going to get help because uhh it was a fox actually and i didnt beat some woman to death:#''Anyway spongeboy me son kill this man''#Bb!dotc#Better bones au#Tw ableism#Cw ableism#Ableism#Also if anyone went thru something similar with the prosthetics feel free to share annoying quirks#Due to the nature of them being four legged it's kind of backwards that it's a leg prosthetic that he's dissatisfied with#From what I read leg prosthetics are usually better built and have a higher satisfaction rate#But in a cat it would be very different because being a tripod is not as big of a deal#Especially the back leg#It really would do nothing but get in the way
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i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.
i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)
but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.
and the peace offering is Tim.
Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.
and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.
and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.
i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.
also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.
#dicktim#timdick#batcest#necrotic festerings#necrotic works in progress#dicktim week 2024#fandom event#this will be written i've just got a pile of things before it.#i'm mostly posting it so i don't fucking forget about it#i'm also interested in some of the other prompts#day 2 is full of goodies. and day 7.#but the other prompts are probably ideas that'll be shorter and quicker#this one i feel. if i rlly fucking ran with it. could go on to be a novella length idea.#idk how long it'll get when i write it#but there will be smut this i promise you#also i'm respectfully begging y'all pls don't do hades/persephone myth discourse on this post#i really *don't* care if you like romantic retelings i promise. they're just not my vibe#and i also promise i am *incredibly* well read on this myth#if you try to give me the “well in some versions-” argument i'm *going* to get incredibly boring with so many sources.#like i will go step by step through every ancient version of this myth.#i save that discourse for spiritual spaces tho so pls don't drag it here i will combust#anyway making jason the demeter stand in is funny bc greek mythos also does do the incest pretty hard#so like. it still works. it's funny#how long will this take i honestly cannot tell you#depends on if i cave and bump it up in the queue bc it's behind like. four fics i'm so sorry.#but you're welcome to send asks or whatnot to shout at me about this idea and 'yes and' me#that applies to any of my ideas anyone is welcome to 'yes and' that shit#it delights me dearly.#my sole hang up on this rn is how godly do i make it. do i give them powers. or do i just make it vaguely inspired by the myth.#both are fun for their own reasons.
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six sentences sunday
The slack, peaceful expression of Zhao Yunlan asleep, his body curled toward the main room. That instinctive way he reached for Shen Wei, patting along his shoulder for his forearm, for his wrist. Even just earlier that night, sitting in companionable quiet on the couch, Zhao Yunlan’s hand tapping along the leather until it found Shen Wei’s ankle and settled there, skin against skin. As if Zhao Yunlan had gotten used to it too, touching. Their bodies as close as their lives were tangled now. Shen Wei would miss every piece of it.
haha. hurting my own feelings in the down draft of the answer fic! i was initially worried i wouldn't have enough thoughts about that gap between the knife scene and the next scene to write a whole fic about it, but it's starting to seem that the solution is simply: cramming in as much domestic weilan flashback as narratively possible :3
#weilan#shen wei#zhao yunlan#guardian#guardian bonus bingo 2024 prompt 5#zhen hun#my fic#six sentence saturday#WHEW long time since i had an update post haha. long time since i had time to actually draft something that wasn't fic that needed to be#posted in the next like. four days LMAO#weirdly enough this feels like the corallary fic to summer feeling#the emotional premise is very different. and also zyl is ... not really onscreen ever in the fic haha. but they feel the same to me somehow#its nice omg. i set this prompt response to be so easy for me: constrained by canon events. clear start and end. modern canon weilan#NO WORLDBUILDING NEEDED. WHAT A RELIEF LMAO#ngl i am sooooooooo glad to not be fumbling around making up just enough yohe worldbuilding to prop a fic up#being able to have shen wei do something normal like. close a door. GLORIOUS i tell you. GLORIOUS
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But what about… kissing more food men
Before you can even get close to Xifeng Wine, his hand grabs onto your shoulder with a surprising amount of force, forcing you to stand as still as a statue while his sharp eyes inspect you from head to toe.
In the blink of an eye, he spins you around so that your back faces him. His hand moves from the top of your shoulder to the back of your neck, exerting little force to his fingertips that press dangerously against the side of your neck.
“Are you trying to trick me again, general?”
His voice whispers lowly against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You weren't sure if the shivers were caused by his thumb pressing dangerously close to your pulse point, or the compromising position he had placed you in– move too far back and your back would be lying against his chest; move too far forward and he might take that as a sign that you were trying to run away and knock you unconscious just like the last time. The option left (the only safe option really) is to continue standing like a frozen statue until he no longer asserts you as a threat, when his eyes no longer see you as the General of the Qin and begins to recognise you as the young master of Kongsang.
However, just as you start getting used to this awkward position, his other hand pushes your face to the side, tilting your head upwards until your lips perfectly align with his, stealing away any words that had formed in your head along with your breath.
By the time he pulls away, both of your faces hold a similar shade of blush, his looking much more prominent as if he had just taken a sip of the strongest wine known to man while drinking you in.
He doesn't say a word before burying his head into the crook of your neck, arms wrapping loosely around your waist while muttering.
“Stay…. Don't leave me again….”
“You know, trying to distract your opponent during an ongoing game of chess is an illegal move.”
Chuyi Flower Cake lifts his head from the chessboard and smiles at you kindly, his expression unreadable with the blindfold tightly wrapped around his head.
Without looking back down, he moves a piece on the far left of the board and declares, “Checkmate.”
Instantly, your smile fades as your attention snaps back onto the chessboard, refusing to believe that he had already checkmated your king in such a short amount of time. However, as soon as your eyes took a quick scan over the board, you were forced to admit defeat with a heavy sigh, waving an invisible white flag over your head.
“I thought you said that you've never played Western chess before!”
“I haven't, but the strategies and pieces are similar to the chess I am familiar with.”
Frustrated, you slam your head against the table with a loud groan, refusing to believe that you have just lost your 10th game in a row.
“You could've at least looked a little surprised when I tried to distract you,” you mutter softly.
For a split second, a look of shock flashes across Chuyi's face, slowly being replaced by widening eyes and a blush as the realisation of what “distraction” you were referring to slowly dawns on him. Unconsciously, he lifts a hand up to cover the lower half of his face, hoping that his reddening face doesn't slip through the gaps of his fingers while his eyes dart away from your figure for a moment to regain his composure.
Eventually, he manages to pick up the courage to extend an arm over the table and slowly pat the top of your head, whispering softly. “Focus on improving your insight instead of relying on such unreliable tricks. Next time, if you wish to partake in an act of intimacy, any time outside of a chess game is suitable.”
Instantly, you shoot your head up with a smile. “Does that mean Mister Chuyi will kiss me if I kiss him to?!”
For a moment, Chuyi looks taken aback before he dissolves into laughter. In a heartbeat, he bends over the table and presses a small kiss on the top of your forehead, fondly gazing down at you from behind the blindfold.
“For you, always.”
#tale of food#the tale of food x reader#tale of food x reader#▪︎ writings#xifeng wine#xifeng wine x reader#chuyi flower cake#chuyi flower cake x reader#if y'all thought I was gone haha SIKE#the new event story is holding me in chokehold because hnggg it's so GOOD#to whoever hasn't seen it yet: please go read it you won't regret it#i can write a whole essay about how much I love chuyi's character but that will be a story for another day#xifeng also </3 at first glance I wasn't really a big fan of him but after reading the event story I can confirm that he's a great guy#i wish I can pull for them but after the trauma of losing the 50/50 four times in meng po banner#i can safely say that I can traumatized(tm)#good luck to everyone who is trying to pull for them!!#the tale of food#ttof#ttof x reader
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i love having both etho and kakashi as My Guys because then whenever i see either of them it’s two for the price of one
#this post was brought to you by bingeing etho season 7 immediately followed by like 50 episodes of shippuden over the course of four days#i am screaming into the void. they are just So Alike you guys you arent getting it#it goes deeper than appearance you have to trust me guys please#a master of his field who is also just Such a guy who loves to troll his friends and has a green guy he goes way back with#who am i describing? either. both. the PARALLELS YOU GUYS IT ACTUALLY DRIVES ME CRAZY#the only difference is one of them was put in a situation where he had to kill others to survive and decide where he drew the line in terms#of what he was willing to sacrifice to survive and for his friends to survive#and as a result suffered when he ultimately was unable to save what mattered most#hahahahaha oopsies kakashi did that too lol#ethoslab#kakashi#mightaswellspeak#most ambitious crossover event
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Leap day was made so I have 24 more hours to work on Akutagawa's birthday
#I've been preparing for. Four days.#(If we exclude the planning. If we don't then I've been prepearing since March 2nd 2023 lol)#Technically last year I had even made an edit I didn't post that I could perfectly use.#But nooooo why pick the easy route when you can spend sleepless nights editing while also attending courses during the day#If all goes well tomorrow I'm going out to buy the ingredients for a cake to bake on Friday <3#Oh and paint my nails black and red!!!!#At this point I only ever put on black nail polish for Akutagawa-related events lol#random rambles#I hope I make a little time to do something for Beast Akutagawa too...
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tired of being a broken freak
someone come kiss me so i can see if i like it when the person's not being a creep
#not knowing is killing me and ruining enjoyment of any media#its exhausting overanalysing everything#and its not like i have a bestie who would be down to mess about#we dispersed to the four corners of the earth years ago#and now everyone is an acquaintance#adulthood can be exhausting when you're constantly reading between the lines to see that the invite to an event is because you're standing#there and they dont want to be rude rather than direct invite#because if you agree to go they find a way around it like going early or cancelling#and you're like what the fuck is wrong with your vibe that people do this? we get on well socially and at work#but clearly you must be emitting a Broken Signal or something#i just dont think I would WANT to Want like this if i was fully ace#its not even directed at someone#more's the pity#im the only one in my general social network who isnt married or in a relationship and there's nothing for me here#life feels like such a waste of time#and i wasted all weekend doing Nothing#so i feel i cheated myself out of enjoyment onthe one time i got off but there were so many chores and no one to hang with so it was like..#i might as well just lay here and be miserable for two days interspersed with mild chores i have been trying to get to#well its slightly safer than being in town right now there's kids in stolen cars hooning about since last night#fucking annoying and dangerous#meh#everyday blurs into an eternity and death waits for us all im so tired#its just work work work then exercise and feeling shitty and being sad and then staring at the ceiling and work again#also chores#they never end#i could try harder of course#i could actively try to meet people but i don't know what i want ive never had a type in any gender and everyone's taken or terrible#and what if i lead them on for nothing?#its not even a partner really... i just want to know if i can have the feelings of love or a crush and desire the wanting#i feel like i had them before but they went away and i dont know why
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Minato Yukina (Roselia) - Birdcage Diva (Trained) ★★★★ (Set: A Song Unfinished)
#card of the day#bandori#roselia#minato yukina#set: a song unfinished#2017#all time fav#did yall know that cn server didnt get this event until the tail end of 2019... they really had to wait for it huh#ALSO THE CONTRAST OF POSTING THIS RIGHT NEXT TO MAFUYU'S MARIONETTE CARD IS. MMM TASTY#four stars#trained card
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my favorite pen went missing :(
#now you might be thinking dont you have a million pens? And the answer is yes i have a lot of pens#but this one is my favorite...and i cant find it :(#and my other favorite pen exploded a few months ago...woe is me#said pen also got me stopped by airport security once. unsure if the two events are connected.#lets see i last used it four days ago. going full detective mode
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Absolutely obsessed with the project sekai April Fools unit that’s basically a group chat dedicated to four neurodivergents discussing their hyperfixes/special interests.
#nene kusanagi#minori hanasato#mizuki akiyama#honami mochizuki#project sekai#project sekai april fools#hobbyists on days off#i’m obsessed#also fun fact these four plus Luka are my project sekai team even before this event#I have so many thoughts on these guys#but Athena it’s an April fools joke it’s not that deep#I’m grabbing my shovel because it could be#also this is several days later i don’t care I was at a con irl
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I am laying down and I immediately know the moment I plug my headphones in to charge and get comfortable I will pass out
#i want to dye my hair but so sleepy#like i wasnt expecting to be on call today but it was really fun and I enjoyed it#I just get very easily drained from social events like this (the call was like four or so hours long)#and its very good and healthy for me ro talk to people like this. like its very fun and I like it a lot#i like talking to my friends#i just have very limited stamina and like. when in call my attentiin has to be on call otherwise it becomes white noise#like i cant multitask in call at all i wanna focus on my friends and also like. i have audio issues where my brain like#lags and buffers. so i do have ro focus on call to understand what my friends are saying#it was very fun and I need to talk more#but also like i spent most of my day waiting for my package + like from 6 am to 3 pm i was gaming#so yuh#my brain is kind of exhausted but I know ive really wanted to dye my hair#i might like. get the shit tomorrow and do it then because wough#shiko speaks
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You know .
#my mental breakdown this summer was actually completely explainable and while i did/said things i dont stand by#i dont actually think i was the bad guy here. interestingly.#i had to help my mom move and it triggered a huge panic attack bc of past trauma from moving house#and so now my family is saying im going insane#and my friend kept egging me on to ask out his friend#who he and i had developed a really nice friendship but he did kind of like. seem like he was trying to be my personal savior#idk i had a big crush on him bc ofc i fucking did no man has ever treated me that well before#then i jokingly tell him how i feel and he goes all serious#oh and it was four days after the 17th anniversary of my fathers suicide#who i think had bpd/ptsd#so i may be developing the same disorder . and it’s freaking me out#this guy claims he knew i had a crush on him which actually means the way he was talking to me means he was to keep my attention#(he sent a picture of him zoomed in naked hours before this so EXCUSEEE ME FOR ASSUMING)#and i started getting upset with the way i was being talked to and asked him to just say he was talking to me that way for attention#for my own peace of mind. like mind u we were talking every day throughout the day for months#voice calls would last over 5 hours. that kind of thing#i snap at him finally but immediately apologize#he then sends me a screenshot of his ex telling him ‘you have experience in dealing with mentally ill women’#followed by him saying ‘youre right. teehee love you’#so yeah duh i went to the fucking hospital it’s like someone hit me with a hammer in the head three times#then my fucking friend who goaded me into confessing to him tells me when i get out that he feels like im trying to make him choose between#when all i ever did was apologize profusely over and over again#fuck my entire ass man. oh and then two weeks later my best friend abruptly told me she was moving to maine#in two weeks. well no she didnt say that. she said can i stay at yours for a week#and i said um. what? and she said yeah im moving. and then used the fact that she had to get an abortion weeks ago as an excuse for not#telling me. and i said dude what the fuck? and she never talked to me again! so#one two three all gone BAM BAM BAM#oh this was also a week before my birthday#the trauma from moving wasnt actually abt tbe moving it was about how i was treated when we were moving#or basically any stressful family event
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this is a formal apology for every time i've read ur fnaf theories, gone "ah... of course! yes!" and then forgotten to respond
This is a formal apology for every time I've read one of your asks, not immediately had a TQ&/E, and forgotten to respond
#The box can wait my questions that need to be answered are why there is already a body in a Fredbear suit before the Bite#and what can 'I will put you back together' mean solely within those four games#like yeah it's robot kids but it wasn't then#that isn't 'four games; one story' that's using the next game in the series to elaborate on the previous one#(and the then new addition of books)#also what the hell was Fnaf World on about but I think I'm the only person that's thought about Fnaf World in years#yeah yeah Happiest day it's about CC I got that WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PLAYER WAS ONLY CREATED FOR THIS PURPOSE!!!#Okay yeah that's probably just an explanation for why the game exists but what the fuck is glitchy Fredbear#and why do *we* need to be told to rest#It's fucking important that they're clocks goddamnit#As of the Halloween update the story of Fnaf 4 still remained 'completely hidden'#So (I think) what Sister Location (AND THE SILVER EYES) tells us about it is the version of Fnaf 4 that the version of it that the communit#''''would accept''''#But the pieces didn't vanish into thin air after the custom night update for sister location dropped#And I think their being put together is reliant on the constant separation put between the GF kid and the rest of the MCI#And the body in the parts and service room#Could not tell you what CC saw though since I should hope that that kid's body hasn't been there for weeks#When I was talking about 'what if this isn't the first time CC had died' I mean basically dream theory with extra steps#I don't think I'm right but in literally every part of this franchise what is hammered in over an over is going into memories#and setting past events right to rest their soul#Happiest Day + Into the Pit being the biggest examples#And tangentially spirits not being fully anchored or aware after death#and reminding them of what happened to them involving crayon drawings and/or being shown their body#(The Fourth closet + Coming Home + the movie)#(and maybe Give Gifts Give Life....? it'd be stretchy)#Regardless of whether the Fnaf 4 gameplay and minigames are CC reliving the events leading to his death over and over as a wandering spirit#or pre-mortem nightmares or the effects of sound illusion disc gas on Micheal(/CC?) or any combination of the three or whatever else#I don't think the Crying Child's spirit was settled and aware until Happiest Day#(that being the first and only time a spirit is shown wearing a Fredbear mask and the kid has to put it on while the other four are already#And if for some godforsaken reason I am right about nightmare spirit journey Fnaf 4 then post Silver Eyes/Fourth Closet
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if you're going through a really bad time and an album from one of your favorite bands comes out, PLEASE resist the urge to listen to it on repeat to try to get yourself through the bad time. Mix it in with lots of other stuff, sure. But don't get yourself into the situation where you associate that music so strongly with a horrible part of your life that you can't enjoy it later without thinking about the bad stuff
TRUST ME
#Merrie Land by TGTBATQ came out right in the middle of Taste of Sam's while i was manager of the free sample dept at Sam's Club#imagine Black Friday but it's the busiest part of Friday morning for four straight days#and also you're cooking for ungrateful customers the whole time. and all of your workers are stressed out and getting mean#and the customers are starting to get mad when you run out of samples of turkey or whatever#and you have to manage a bunch of temps your company hired for the event who were told they could wear jackets so now YOUR workers are mad#and now one of your workers is threatening you in a way that's too subtle to punish but VERY clear as to her intentions#now one of the temps left her mat out and a customer tripped and was injured. and over of your workers has a seizure#and SURPRISE! corporate is here to visit#when Merrie Land came out i focused hard on it to take my mind off of feeling extremely incompetent as a manager#(it did not work and then it took literally four whole years to be able to enjoy those songs again)
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