#but like with anxiety

[britishraptor]

Had a series of anxiety attacks getting ready and heading to the train station so when I finally got on the train and it didn’t show any sign of calming down I finally took some meds except I forgot I was supposed to split the tablet

Sitting in my train seat having temporarily lost 20 IQ points, 50% of my reflexes and unduly fascinated and playing with the cupholders while trying really hard not make the train staff think I’m on drugs

[thelaurenshippen]

watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back

[eastgaysian]

[legallybrunettedotcom]

doing shit alone will have people acting like you're the bravest human being who has ever existed. "omg I could never 😖" I'm eating. I'm going to the cinema. it's not a fucking papal conclave.

[lost-in-derry]

Reblog if it’s ok for your mutuals to tag you in posts they think you’ll like even if you don’t talk often.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[mxwhore]

so right now a whole ass chunk of chile is burning down and it is really Fucking Bad. it hit and spreaded so fast im like. 90%!!!!! of the jardín botánico de viña del mar burned down in one night. four in ground workers died. i am absolutely heartbroken for them and the treasure in biodiversity gone. and thats just 4 out of +100? lives lost in this chaos, that is still ongoing.

because of this, i will be splitting my patreon income evenly between care for gaza and techo chile, for the foreseable future. donate if can you can! it would really make a difference

[ionomycin]

Mother of Pearl

[ia-gnom]

[offonaherosjourney]

Why did no one tell me that Dracula was a fucking COMEDY.

The book opens up with Jonathan experiencing a paprika overload. Dracula pretends to be the coachman and drives Jonathan around in circles until he decides he's established enough of a dramatic atmosphere. By day three in the castle Jonathan has picked up that there are no servants and Dracula is secretly doing all the chores, including driving him there. The first time Jonathan tries to shave, the count barges into the room, yeets his mirror out the window, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Jonathan also notices that he is a prisoner in the castle but doesn't dare to bring it up, which... is a mood, but also hilarious. A week into his stay he sees his employer/kidnapper crawling facedown out a wall

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[mari-lair]

[diamondzart]

Work stuff 👀

[asavt]

Once upon a time a small rat walked into my web...

[chaoticgoodthief]

I Did It

Ok, this is amazing I recently passed the Tumblr shoelace ritual. Long story short, I was at a market day in my school and saw some stickers. Gandalf's big naturals. Even as someone who doesn't really spend that much time in the LoTR/Hobbit area of Tumblr, I knew about That. I couldn't help myself, it was right There. Probably far to giddily holding that Gandalf sticker (with wasn't just a normal old big naturals, mind you. That wizard was in a laced bra, usually enough to turn me redder than a tomato)

"Which one of you designed this?" I asked on of the two people at the stall (ps everyone was selling their own sruff, so I wasn't afraid in the slightest that the creator of this wouldn't be there.)

"She did," the one I talked to responded. Oh my heart was pounding. All social awkwardness completely evaporated in the face of THE most Tumblr Thing I could do.

"I like your shoelaces." Gosh, I wish I could have talked to literally anyone with half the confidence that I had in that moment. I'm pretty sure I saw just a tiny bit of life drain from their eyes. I'm so sorry but c'mon. Gandalf Big Natruals stickers. Did you really think you could avoid this?

"Thanks. I stole them from the president." I WILL RIDE THAT HIGH FOR THE NEXT MONTH, AT LEAST.

ps. If anyone finds my new buddy (I know it's unlikely but gotta give it a shot.) Just want to let you know that their art is amazing and you should definately by something from them if they take commissions.