#to worry about it being too hot
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Mother of Pearl
#artists on tumblr#seahorses are cute aren't they#how are we coping with the heat wave everyone?#i'm too busy having like three different kind of existential crises#to worry about it being too hot#hot girl summer more like nonstop anxiety summer#pondering the fact that nothing is permanent#can't rely on anything to last#life is just#drifting in a sea of uncertainty#but anyway#happy pride month#be gay#eat ice cream#don't think about your mortality
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I think about this image often
"The gang hates me and only lets me stick around cause of Darry and soda!"
BOY YOU'RE THE GANGS LITTLE BROTHER DONT PLAY WITH ME
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#the outsiders#the outsiders movie#the outsiders novel#ponyboy curtis#two bit matthews#two bit mathews#two-bit Matthews#you don't understand#oh my god#no cause two-bit realized there was something going on with pony#asides from his friend dying but fuck ykwim#and he realized pony wasn't feeling good and checked on him#NO AND HE WAS WORRIED TOO#you okay pony?#you feel kinda hot#ITS SO FUCKING SWEET#NOT EVEN TALKING ABIUT HOW HE SPENT TH EDAY WITH PONY TI MAKE SURE HE DIDNT SPIRAL#Somethign something that one post about how pony would've khs if the gang wasn't there#just all the little things two does for the gang :(((#he's such a brother#getting Johnny a coke#or dally a gift from the shop#going to get and buy the book for them :(((#giving pony some change for the bus#BEING WILLING TO DRIVE TO TEXAS FOR THEM OH MY GOD ILL NEVER EVER SHUT UP ABOUT THAT#TWOBIT YOH ARE THE PERFECT MAN#AUGHHHHHHH I NEVER STOP THINMIMG ABOUT IT
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would truly shock me to my core, I will be honest. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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Spoilers for Sinsmas/Sinsmas ramble
So I had Sinsmas paused on my browser to do life stuff as usual, I Will Be Okay was in my head, and I walked back to my computer after life stuff and realized the frame I had it paused on was
D
Do you see what I'm seeing
Their positions aren't just similar, they're reversed. In "I Will Be Okay", Via is on the floor and Stolas's shadow is standing up, looking down on her and reaching a hand to her from above, which she swats away. At the end of Sinsmas, Stolas is kneeling on the floor, with Via looking down at him from above, and her hand resting on Stolas's, which she pulls away from.
AND THE PARALLELS AND REVERSALS DON'T END THERE
From what I could see, it seems like there's only one instance where the parallel doesn't totally apply.
This.
Merry Sinsmas, Helluva Boss fandom :D
:'D
#helluva boss#sinsmas#hb spoilers#rambles#ramble#hi fandom this is my first time in these parts please be nice haha ^^'#i love parallels guys#hb storyboard artists you MASTERMINDS /aff#as someone who at most just looks at the analysis videos and has absorbed the goings-on through internet osmosis#the emotions still hit very hard for this episode#which is also the first one i watched in full as opposed to just going to certain clips to see what the fandom is frothing in the mouth ove#hot take: via has the right to be mad at stolas. but stolas also deserves to (and SHOULD) have a moment to explain to her everything#now stolas in mastermind put himself on the chopping block after confessing which is the most blatant “yes i am ditching my life for an imp#and is very much breaking the promise he made to her in loo loo land the instant it was tested#so yes via has every right to be mad in this regard#but#she's also very deliberately being kept out of the loop with everything going on with her family and it's biting her in the ass#she probably knows her parents hate each other but does she know that stella hires hitmen to kill stolas like on every day ending in y?#does she know that the reason they got together in the first place was just because they needed a precautionary goetia heir?#does she know that their wedding anniversaries are “not divorced” anniversaries in every sense of the word?#does she know that stella never plans on having her fulfill her purpose as a goetia#because she and andre want stolas's power like flies want shit and are going to hog that power for all it's worth?#probably not#stella wouldn't bother telling her about it because she doesn't really care for her much (just the perks of having her on her side)#(i mean c'mon “the egg that came out of me” and “his daughter”?)#and stolas didn't want to tell her the full extent of what he had to go through because he wanted via to have a normal childhood#meaning he wanted to fill the role of the ordinary loving father with no issues and no happy pill abduction whatsoever hahahahaaawhosaidtha#so he didn't want to worry her with his issues when she is still growing and that shit is too much for a little child to process#but with via's eighteenth birthday coming soon and stella and andre being even less subtle about their.... their EVERYTHING#maybe via will begin to get a peek into everything underneath the surface and maybe understand a bit of what stolas had to deal with
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I think what I'm going to do is get a big decorative jar and then any good things that happen, big or small, I'm going to write on a little piece of paper and put it in the jar and eventually it will either be full of paper stars or paper cranes or both all representing something good or silly or hopeful
#//juri speaks#what i WANT is a world where i can be freely amd openly queer without being scared#and where i dont have to worry about whether or not climate change will kill us all in 50 years#and where i dont have to worry about the safety of my friends bc of their religions#but apparently thats too much to fucking ask#so we're gonna get through this with spite and little goods#and a visual reminder of that will help i think#for now tho i am going to have tater tots and hot chocolate with whipped cream for breakfast cream
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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Quick little crappy sketch. Once again fingers and hair are my weakness.
Having fun tho
#Hellsbells art#sketch#I need a desk#it is too hot in my room to do anything let alone more art today#enjoying my day off by being lazy and having fun#I really love not having to worry about homework or assignments#I’m on nightshift tomorrow for three days but it is all good#three in a row is fine and I want that seeet sweet nightshift pay#maybe then I can buy some better art equipment
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there are building repairs/updates going on at work today and right now that means someone is standing at the lobby light switch rapidly turning it off and on
#at least this time I was prepared#so much better than that time five years ago when the office across the hall was basically stripped back to the guts#and then opened while they were finalizing renovations but I didn't realize they had customers#and the lights started rapidly flickering#we had already made jokes about this building being haunted (it's just old and too influenced by midcentury modern design with all its flaw#turns out it was a kid playing with the light switch but FOR A HOT MINUTE#(I know some of you love midcentury modern but I hate it because THE ROOFS ALWAYS LEAK)#(the architects were too worried about aesthetics and refused to confront reality on that point)#(but we aren't allowed to point out the consistent flaws because...those guys are historically important???)#(some of them drank bleach y'all they had issues too)
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one underrated aspect of being a dog that i would very much appreciate is the whole "no sweating" thing. i would much rather pant than deal with my clothes constantly getting stained.
also yeah sorry to any of you who like your big bara wolf men absolutely drenched in sweat, either that wolf man is biologically inaccurate, has sweat glands despite being a canine, or that isn't his sweat, regardless, i am carving this into your brain you will never forget this whenever you look at your sweaty wolf men you will think about how that might not be their sweat they're borderline drowning in.
#sweat#fucking haaaaate how much i sweat it's so gross#like if i could cool off by panting i'd be SOOO much happier and i'd actually be willing to wear nice clothes#like seriously so many of my shirts are super discolored around the upper back because of my sweat#i mean ideally i'd like to just never worry about being too hot but this feels marginally more realistic.
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Can't wait for you to announce you're back on OF. I'll happily pay the full price too, this pup and her holes are worth every penny
It is time! *some sort of grand music starts playing
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#my post style is going to be wayy more relaxed so im hoping people will still enjoy it 🥲#i need to not be so extra since i just keep burning myself out with it so that's why i vanish off the face of the earth#this time theres no schedule or themes only daily post#im also trying to do what I've done here and only make and post things i think are hot/cute and not worry what anyone else thinks#like yes it matters in the sense people need to like it to stick around but#since being more me on here my accounts gone crazy so really hoping the more genuine#personal vibes are received well over there too#but yeah imma stop waffling now and im probably not going to mention about it again#link in pinned post if you wanna join the fun over there
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no yeah I’m getting def getting reassessed for adhd because this ain’t it, chief
#sillyposting#2 more friends just told me I sound like them when they’re off their meds. cool cool cool#my mom said today I make her anxious because she worries about my deadlines more than I do lol#being a student again has really made me say yeah girl you really ARE a hot mess#unfortunately my next appointment with my NP is in a month and they don’t have anything sooner#just refer me somewhere now mannn I wanna get on a waitlist 😓#I’m genuinely in distress trying to focus on important tasks due to boredom#I could be writing rn *buzzer noise* I could just do this tomorrow *buzzer noise*#I already have 30 tasks overdue. what’s one more? what’s the rush? *buzzer noise*#making a to-do list is boring and also scary therefore I refuse to do it *buzzer noise*#I could be sleeping right now *buzzer noise*#I could be researching and writing a paper on a special interest right now *buzzer noise*#I have no concept of what all I need to get done but it’s okay bc my happiness right now is more important#*buzzer noise*#I have no clue what any of my classmates are talking about#because I haven’t kept up with the readings and assignments like they did#but that’s okay I’ll catch up later *buzzer noise*#I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. *buzzer noise*#I’ll start this task and switch to this next one and man I’m bored so I’ll go to the next thing I need to do and man this is boring too#*buzzer gets stuck*#tired of life being one never-ending game of catch-up. I just want to do things without needing a gun to my head#I’ve BEEN saying saying this since high school
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complaining dont mind me
i need smth like procreate to come to pc or smth because every month i get more bad psd news and every year i try out every single program that is "similar to psd" and every year they are bad and dont work the same with the brushes i use and dont have overlapping functions (yes even csp which i used before switching to psd. the brushes on csp are stamps which makes square brushes really ugly bc theyre not a smooth square line theyre just a bunch of stamped squares which if u dont draw with opaque brushes looks ugly) and its just so UGH
#i hate drawing on ipads too they get so hot idk how people can handle it#overall. i need someone to replace photoshop with a photoshop clone that is exact#just words#need ai to fuck itself so i can stop worrying about my data being sold for a few bucks (as if it wasnt happening before ig)
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the half dressed men are for "references" sure yeah totes
listen i would have no problem admitting to staring at hot dudes for horny reasons if that were the case but imagine if i was and i thought the best the entire world wide web had to offer was completely sfw pinterest pins of shirtless guys playing sand volleyball. now THAT would be embarrassing
#being ace and trying to figure out how to draw pinup art is a nightmare#only found out after the whole calendar was done that 'hot guy in drenched unbuttoned white shirt sitting in a bathtub' is a classic option#which i'm kinda mad i didn't know about because it would have given me a good reason to learn how to draw waterlogged fabric#probably for the best though i'd be worried about missing the mark too badly just bc i don't Get it get it yk#splashasks#anonymous
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Thank you to everyone who offered kind words and encouragement last night, I really appreciate it <3 I’m feeling much better today and started getting settled in again. I’m working on clearing out the clutter in my room since so much of the shared living space was dedicated to him and I have room to do more than hang things on the walls now. I cooked dinner for the first time in weeks, and my cats curled up on my lap while I watched tv
#genuinely am feeling much better about all of this#I think last night was just very overwhelming for a lot of reasons#I’m still a bit stressed about finding a roommate and having to replace all the furniture/kitchen supplies/etc#but that friend of a friend is gonna come look at the apartment on Sunday so hopefully things work out with her#so at least I’ll have a quick and seamless roommate transition#and not have to worry about even one month of paying all the bills here alone#my cats are being more active and playful and social again#I’m going to bed not being too hot for the first time in months cuz I get to control the temperature#not going to bed hungry cuz I got to cook dinner when I wanted for the first time in months#so yeah <3 I’m doing better#and am trying to focus on the positives#kaz rambles
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Happy Glam Saturday
#i feel a little silly for reacting like that but i also know i was thinking thungs through and being rational with the information i had#yknow?#its good to know i dont have to worry about it#its good to be back#i think i willwear pink jeans today- it shouldnt be too hot#but i need to get up NOW im gonna be late#glam saturday#glitter and guitars
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today, my girlfriend explained she had trained themself to stop playfully hitting peoples arms when they got excited, and I told her they could do it to me if they wanted to, of course. which started out with them gently punching my arm and me telling her i barely felt it, and ended up with her realising they find it hot if they hit me and i brat back
#literally so excited to see where this goes#god it was so hot too#they were worried about it being too much but the moment i told them it wasnt hard enough the tension was PALPABLE#constantly realising how ridiculously sexually compatible we are#i dont think any of them were hard enough to properly bruise but i can absolutely feel them still#my post#t4t nsft#gf uses she/they and i use they/them
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