#tired of life being one never-ending game of catch-up. I just want to do things without needing a gun to my head

[a-concert-just-for-me]

no yeah I’m getting def getting reassessed for adhd because this ain’t it, chief

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Childhood friends to lovers w modern Jace and he’s just really protective over you. When they go out to a party, he’s just begging you to not start anything with any guys, and he’s lowkey mad at you for wearing something revealing. You end up really drunk to the point where Jace has to take you home and you’re just rlly touchy and bold, confessing things you would never say if you sober. And he’s just being flirty back and teasing you abt the stuff you’re saying about him. Idek where this is going but like eventual smut. 😩 Ty, your works are so good.

I love college modern!Jace. To my eyes, he is always part of the hockey team and friends with Cregan. This is how I see modern!Jace

Sorry, I didn't do smut because consent when drunk is not valid consent (you know what I mean?) but everything else is checked!

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

Jace sat on your bed as you finished getting ready in your bathroom. He played with the ears of your purple giraffe plushie, smiling when he saw the friendship bracelet still tied to its neck. 

‘’Do you know if Jason is gonna be there tonight?’’ 

‘’Lannister?’’ 

You hummed and Jace grimaced. 

‘’He’s a fucking asshole and only want you for sex. Don’t talk to him. Okay?’’ 

You rolled your eyes in the mirror, tired of Jace disapproving of every guy you talked to. He wasn't trying to make all guys seem bad; he just knew them and their intentions better than you. He was looking out for you.

And you trusted his judgment. 

‘’Yes, dad,’’ you replied sarcastically as you came out of the bathroom. 

Jace’s head lifted when you came into view, his breath catching in his throat when he saw the top you were wearing. To his eyes, this was a bra — with a longer bodice. While you looked really good in it, guys at the party will think the same and oggle you in ways that would make Jace want to punch them.

‘’Eh, is there a second shirt that goes over this one?’’ 

You frowned at his question. ‘’No. Why? What’s wrong with my shirt?’’ 

Jace took a few seconds to think of a way of saying that your shirt was showing a lot without sounding like he was calling you slutty. ‘’Aren’t you gonna get cold? It’s nearly November.’’

You shrugged, grabbing your phone and dorm keys. ‘’I’m fine. You always give me your jacket when I get cold.’’ 

‘’Right. But maybe you should take a jacket with you? In case I’m not available to give you mine.’’ 

‘’Not available?’’ Your lips curled into a mischievous smirk. ‘’Jacaerys Velaryon, are you planning on leaving with a girl tonight?’’ you teased, poking at his chest. You’ve seen him kissing girls at parties, but he never left with any of them. 

He ignored your question, clearly not wanting to discuss his romantic life. ‘’Let’s go. Cregan is already on his third beer. I need to get my revenge on air hockey before he gets too drunk.’’ 

You laughed, slipping your phone into your small purse. ‘’Can I play too?’’ 

‘’We’ll see,’’ Jace said, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you walked out of your dorm. 

It’s not that he didn’t want you to play. You’ve played with the boys before. It’s just that your shirt was not ideal for playing air hockey. If you leaned on the table, everything would be exposed and he didn’t like the idea of his friends looking at your tits. 

The music was loud at the frat house, plunging everyone into the ambiance. You were sipping your second drink and dancing with your friends after watching Cregan annihilate Jace at air hockey. Jace seemed distracted, his eyes scanning the room instead of focusing on the game. Maybe he was searching for a girl?

Shaking off the thought, you headed to the kitchen and made yourself another drink. You should be happy if he found someone he liked, but the truth was, you were secretly jealous. He had been your best friend since kindergarten, you should have dibs on him.

You put the caps back on the bottles and reached for your glass, but someone snatched it away.

‘’Hey! Give it back!’’ 

‘’No more drinks for you,’’ Jace said from behind you, pouring the contents of your glass into the sink.

‘’It’s my first drink. Okay, maybe my second…or third.’’ A giggle escaped your lips. You were a lightweight when it came to drinking, a fact you always seemed to forget. ‘’I think I’m a little tipsy.’’

Jace raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. ‘’Tipsy?’’ He shook his head and suggested you head home and watch Grey’s Anatomy.  

You pouted, not wanting to leave the party just yet, but the thought of watching Grey's Anatomy with Jace sounded nice. He was always so invested in the episodes and characters, but it was a secret. If his teammates knew, they would never let him live it down.

His arm was around you, leading you out of the frat house and into the cool night air. As you walked back to your dorm, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for Jace’s presence. You didn’t know many guys who would offer to take their drunk friend home without any bad intentions.  

‘’You’re a good person, Jace,’’ you said, his jacket over your shoulders. ‘’Always looking out for me.’’

He chuckled, pulling you closer when a group of drunk guys walked by. ‘’What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?’’

You didn’t respond. 

Once you were at your dorm, you set up your laptop and settled into your small bed. It was a tight fit, but you and Jace made it work. 

The episode started where you left off. 

‘’Who do you think is better? McDreamy or McSteamy?’’ you asked as Derek appeared on the screen. 

‘’I don’t know,’’ Jace responded, lying comfortably against your pillows. ‘’Mark is eye-candy, but I think early seasons McDreamy was peak.’’ 

You nodded, laying your head against Jace’s shoulder. ‘’Same. I have a soft spot for brunets. And curly hair.’’

‘’Derek doesn’t have curly hair…’’ 

‘’But you do and it’s cute.’’ 

‘’You think my hair is cute?’’ Jace repeated, teasing you.

‘’It’s so curly and bouncy. And soft too.’’ You twirled one of Jace’s curly hair around your finger, your fingers lingering as position caused your chest to press slightly against his. ‘’And you smell very good. Except when you play hockey. You’re stinky.’’

Jace laughed, the sound vibrating through your body. ‘’Good to know. I’ll make sure I shower before seeing you.’’ 

You smiled, your fingers still playing with his hair. ‘’You’re so pretty.’’ 

Your last compliment took him by surprise, his cheeks flushing. Had you not been intoxicated on alcohol, tonight would have taken a different turn, but Jace was respectful. He would never make a move without your sober consent.

‘’Eh, thanks. Let's...let's continue watching Greys.’’

—

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[cosmic-waves7]

could u write karma with a s/o that doesn’t get into trouble? Kinda like an opposite like they’re still outgoing but the type to never skip and only wanting straight A’s and are kinda sensitive in contrast to him? (🫶🫶ur writing is so cute idk if you still write for karmaa aaa!!😭)

Note: I will NEVER stop writing for karma 😤😤😤

Honestly?

He doesn't even really notice you at first.

Another student in class-E, just like any other.

Obviously that is until you managed to score higher than him in maths during exam season.

It started off as a miniature rivalry, very one-sided might I add.

He'd come to you smirking by the end of the next exam with a mark higher than yours only to be surprised when you smile widley and congratulate him.

Every. Single. Time.

Huh?

You're not supposed to do that, your eyes are supposed to burn with determination and annoyance. You're supposed to snatch that paper from his hands and wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

Clearly not.

Its not even a fake smile, there isn't even a hint of malice in your eyes.

It's almost as if you're happy for him.

You don't even know him, not properly at least.

This really changes perspectives for the assassin so now he's shifted into doing everything in his power for your recognition.

Which doesn't seem to be very hard to gain as he notices that you're a bit popular in class.

Not entirely popular, but if students come up to you they'll only get a sweet greeting every time as if they're a long-time friend of yours.

You're basically Koro-sensei's golden child. Wide sparkling eyes every time you put your hand up in class to you answer his questions, he could weep at how adorable you are.

Everyone comes up to you for anything really.

Help with homework, a quick check in, or just to talk. You're always so easy to talk to, so gentle all the time.

Even Itona will quietly chat with you in a corner.

You're just so...approachable.

In Karma's eyes that's unfair. He needs to catch your attention and now.

Maybe to prove something to himself or just boredom, he doesn't need a reason.

So now he's the one asking for homework help. He can answer the questions in his sleep, you know it too.

He's still gonna play dumb, tap you on the shoulder and muster up his best clueless look.

Even in class, Karma has "coincidentally" managed to switch seats to be your desk partner.

You didn't hear it from me but maybe an octopus-like teacher has something to do with that.

Anyway.

Now that you're basically knee to knee with him in class, this allows karma to charm his way into your every day life.

Constantly stealing away your time with anything he can possibly think of.

He'll do this thing where he just wraps his arms around your shoulders and sultry whine into your ear.

"_____, help me please?"

He'll even throw in a pout.

Nagisa has to pry him off of you.

You don't even ask why he's suddenly around you nearly 24/7, you're just glad to be of help really and though you think he's a bit strange he's quite sweet.

A well known charismatic (possible) sadist, but sweet.

Class trip? He's sitting next to you on the bus.

Getting ice-cream? He already knows your favourite flavour.

Study session? You'll need to work together, being the two top students in class it would only be sensible to partner up for academics. This lead to him coming over a lot and vice versa, need to keep those grades up you know.

Spending the weekend at home? Don't be silly, you're flying to the country of your choice on a whim with a certain red-haired 'friend' of yours.

Having rich absent parents really does come in handy sometimes.

But this whole game is tiring him out.

You've gotten close, yes. He's flustered you plenty, yes. But you haven't confessed to him at all!

It's infuriating.

He wants you to like him at least, because he's teetering on the edge of obsession for you.

Because 'friends' don't hold hands all the time, they don't hug longingly or stay up late thinking of the other.

It'll all click in to place when he just goes red in the face, kisses your cheek once and just spews his feeling out like a flood.

"I like you."

"...Oh."

(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ )

Coughing, he'll look away and pretend like nothing happened while trying desperately to renew his previous charm.

can the ground just open up and swallow him already, oh god.

“I…like you too.” you shyly smile

karma.exe has stopped working

[lovelybucky1]

rivals/enemies to lovers Anakin fic and their tension is 10000000x high all the time like😫😫😫

thank you for the ask!!! inbox open for cillian murphy and anakin

warnings: gender neutral!reader, pushy anakin, semi-public, mentions of masturbation, inappropriate use of the force, teasing, enemies to lovers, 18+ minors dni

masterlist

Anakin Skywalker might be the most infuriating person you have ever had the misfortune of meeting. The praise he constantly received for his skills during his padawan years combined with the title of "Chosen One" that is often bestowed upon him did terrible things for his ego.

He struts around the temple with so much arrogance that you can practically smell it on him. He's rude and demanding, often making some of the younger Jedi do his bidding just because they listen to him.

If they weren't scared of Anakin, they were bowing at his feet to kiss his boots. Everybody knew what Anakin was capable of, and they treated him like a god because of it. But not you.

To you, Anakin was nothing but a spoiled brat in an adult's body. He tried to enchant you, to get you under the same spell he had everyone else under, but you refused. You could recognize talent, but you would rather die than contribute to his inflated ego.

For some reason, your refusal to kiss his ass made Anakin obsessed with you. He knows you hate him, you make it obvious. Anakin has taken this hatred as a challenge; he wants to break your resolve.

Anakin is like a fly, always buzzing around your head at the least opportune times. During training, he always volunteers to be your partner. He always sits next to you at meals and during meditation. While meditating, he invades your mind just to pester you some more. At night, he appears in your dreams and you wake up pissed off at him.

This is a game to Anakin. One you despise with your entire being, but its one he never seems to tire of. It's escalated a bit over time; at first it was just teasing jibes and general annoyance, but now his remarks have a flirtatious edge to them and that makes you even angrier.

"If you were that desperate to get into my arms, you just had to ask," Anakin smirks as he looks down at where you fell against his chest. Training with Anakin is never easy, he plays dirty just so he can get you into positions such as these.

"Get the fuck off of me," you huff, pushing him away.

"What's got you in such a bad mood?" he asks, knowing full well that it's him that has you so irritated.

"One of life's greatest mysteries," you say as you get back into a fighting stance.

Training technically ended an hour ago, but Anakin kept taking you down and you couldn't leave without a victory.

"Come on, you can tell me. I can keep a secret."

You run at him, extending your foot to kick him in the shoulder but he grabs your ankle and flips you over, sending you falling face down onto the mat. You grunt when you hit the floor and roll onto your back, only to find Anakin standing over you, looking impossibly tall.

"You're my fucking problem."

You get up, swatting Anakin's hand away when he offers it to you.

"Me? What have I done to you?" he asks.

Catching him off guard, you hook your ankle around the back of his knee and bring him to the ground. He could have fought back, but he goes down easily. You stand in front of him as he kneels in front of you, not looking any less smug despite his position.

“Why do you continue to train with me if you hate me so much?” he asks.

“You choose me, asshole.”

“I don’t force you to be my partner. You could have anyone you wanted.”

You glare down at him. “I like beating the shit out of you.”

“Have you ever beat me?” he asks with a smirk. “Y’know, sometimes I get a feeling that you like me.”

“Like you?”

“Yeah. You’re always hanging around me, you dream about me, you even think about me when you meditate. That sounds a little like obsession to me.” He walks forward a bit on his knees so he’s close enough to rest his cheek against your thigh, and for some reason you don’t stop him.

“Those are all things you do, Anakin. You put those thoughts in my head.”

Anakin chuckles. “Maybe so, but I know you also think about me at night,” he rises to his feet, once again towering over you. “in bed, under the covers when you can’t get to sleep.”

You gasp, trying to cut it off before he notices but it’s too late. Anakin is close, too close, his chest mere inches away from yours.

“I didn’t put those thoughts in that pretty head. That’s all you. Your desire,” he takes ahold of your wrists and pins them at your sides. “Your dirty secrets.” His gaze is intense and it makes you want to squirm away from it.

“You’re a fucking pig,” you spit, trying to wrestle your way out of his hold but there’s no use.

“And you can’t admit what you want,” he says. “Come on, you can tell me. I promise I won’t tell a soul.” Somehow Anakin sounds earnest and you feel compelled to confess.

“I don’t like you,” you say.

“I don’t want you to.”

“I hate you.”

“I like it that way.” He looks at you expectantly. “But…?”

“There’s no but, Anakin! I’m not attracted to you,” you huff.

He rolls his eyes and smirks. “How about I tell you some things first, and then it’s your turn?” You give him a blank stare in return; he continues anyway. “I hate you. I think you’re a stubborn little bitch who hates me just because you’re jealous. You’ll never be as powerful as I am, and I know that irks you like nothing else. I hate the way you talk shit about me every chance you get to make yourself feel better. And most of all, I hate the way you pretend you don’t want me to fuck you in all the ways you fantasize about.”

You gape at him, feeling embarrassed and angry that he just exposed you so blatantly. You wrench your arms out of his hold and this time he lets you, which makes you even angrier.

“You fucking-”

“Tell me you don’t want it,” he challenges. You stare back at him. “Tell me you don’t want me to fuck you.”

There is a moment of silence; Anakin waiting for you to deny and you waiting for him to ridicule you.

Anakin steps forward and grabs your hips, pulling you flush to him. You don’t fight back.

“Nothing to say?”

“Fuck you.”

“You gotta say please if you want it so bad,” he grins.

“I hope you choke.”

In a flash, Anakin has you down on the mat, flat on your back. Your legs are spread and he’s slotted between them, leaning up on his elbows to look at you. His nose is only inches away from yours, and it’s making your blood boil.

“Don’t I feel good on top of you?” He does, and he knows it. “Just say yes, baby. I’ll fuck you right here, just how you like it.”

You grit your teeth. “Yes.”

[jojosbingsu]

omgg i loved your jojo headcanon so much 🥹🩷! i was wondering if i could request the same thing but with maki instead! have a good one boo, love ya 🫶🏻!!!

Boyfriend Maki

Admin: Ellie

Genre: Fluff, Wholesome

Pairing: gn!reader x Maki

Word Count: 2.26K

Notes: Hello anon~! Thank you for your request! ^0^ I hope you enjoy my thoughts on boyfriend Maki. :) Please feel free to request again or leave your thoughts and opinions through the request box! Requests are always open and I’m always open to hearing feedback on my work~

You have never met someone who flirts as much as Riki does. This guy absolutely LOOOOOVES to flirt with and tease you because it makes him feel good to see you blushing over something he’s said or done. He’s subtle about it in public so you don’t get embarrassed around others but when you’re alone, he’s a flirt machine who lives his life for the sole reason of seeing you flustered. Even when you’re separated, he will text you cheesy pickup lines when he misses you or give you a quick video call to tell you he wanted to see your face for a few minutes.

Touching isn’t his primary love language but he sure does love to just hug and hold onto you. He feels the most comfortable when he’s relaxing on the sofa with his arms wrapped around you or when his head is resting against your shoulder, chest or back. Whenever you’re facing the opposite direction, he will give you a back hug and just lean into you to find comfort and feel more connected to you for a little while. 

That being said: Cuddles are almost mandatory. If you’re staying the night together, he won’t sleep comfortably unless he’s able to snuggle up close to you and wrap an arm loosely around you. If it’s cold or raining outside, you can almost guarantee he will find his way to your place. He will either want to cuddle close with you or just lay with his head in your lap while you’re busy with whatever else you’d like to do. 

Napping on your lap like a cat is another habit Riki has. When you’re busy playing a game or speaking with your friends, you’ll find your incredibly adorable boyfriend laying down with his head on your lap to catch a quick nap when he’s feeling tired. Running your fingers through his hair or caressing his face is a great way to help him fall asleep much faster. He will sometimes reach to pull one of your hands towards his chest to huge onto until he’s drifted off to sleep.

Riki’s primary love language is spending quality time with you. There’s nothing that makes him happier than just simply having his alone time with you, even if you’re not really doing anything besides lounging lazily on opposite ends of the couch together. As long as you’re with him, he’ll be the happiest guy in the world. His favorite activity to do with you would be going out on adventures or cooking with you! Riki is quite the chef these days, so he would love it if you’d be his second in command and help him whip up a yummy meal you guys could share over a nice at-home dinner date. 

Adventures with Riki would include going on road trips to places neither one of you have ever visited before or taking a simple hike through the woods to find a waterfall you could share a picnic in front of! Adventures could also be simple things like making a trip to the mall because he’s on the hunt for a specific teddy bear he saw a commercial for or going on a hunt for your favorite candy and making multiple stops along the way to find it. - There are no real rules or guidelines for what an “adventure” would be with Riki. Perhaps he would want to take you to an amusement park and label it as an adventurous date for you two! Whatever the case may be, make sure you’re prepared to be out all day!

PDA with Riki is almost non-existent. He loves you dearly and isn’t afraid to make it known that you’re HIS partner, but he doesn’t believe in showcasing “special” relationship moments to the public. Holding your hand or hugging onto you like a clingy monster while you’re out together is fine but you’ll never catch him smooching you in front of anyone else. To him, that kind of thing is special and private and he wants to keep those moments all to himself. He will call you by pet names in public to display affection, but physicality is saved for more private, intimate times where you’re away from the rest of the world. 

Very openly possessive over you. He tries not to sound like he views you as property by any means but he does absolutely try to make it abundantly clear that you are HIS partner and you’re not looking for another one when he feels that someone is being touchy or clingy with you. “It’s my job to fawn over you like that” is something you’ve heard many times before with a sulk coming to rest on his face when someone has struck his nerves the wrong way. He will sometimes clear his throat and glare at people when they’re making him uncomfortable with the way they look at or speak to you. 

He is forever talking about you when you’re not together. If he’s with his friends, he finds a way to mention you about 60 times in conversation just simply because he loves you and he adores sharing information about you with those he’s close with. Though he loves to mention you to his friends, it’s his family that never hears the end of stories about you. He really wants you to have a good relationship with his parents, so he’s forever running to them to gush about how much he loves you! He never forgets to make sure they know just how much you love him too, though! He always mentions how you’ve done something for him lately that made him feel special, such as baking him cookies or helping him sort through old clothes to get rid of when you had a free weekend to spend with him. 

Giving you gifts is something he does on a regular basis. Almost every time you see him, he’s got something new for you! Whenever he sees something that reminds him of you, it’s coming home with him immediately and you just have to have it. He loves to get you nice smelling candles he thinks would set a relaxing mood for you or soft plush blankets that are decorated with your favorite cartoon characters.

Impromptu nerf battles + water gun fights. Let’s just be honest - Riki is a little kid trapped inside of his teenage body. He still has a heart full of childish wonder and joy, so you had better be prepared to get shot with nerf darts or water droplets at the most random moments in time. Whenever you show up to his house, already be prepared with your own nerf gun because he’s planning to get you from a window as you approach the front door. You have to beat him to the punch or else you’re losing the battle almost instantly. If you’re relaxing on the couch, keep an eye out because he’s absolutely planning something nefarious and you’ll want to catch him before he’s able to ensnare you in his nonsense. 

A complete wuss. He is the embodiment of "weenie hut junior" clientele. This guy is terrified of bugs and rodents of all kinds, so you had better hope none ever find their way into your living space. Riki for sure will NOT help you get rid of it. He will be the main one standing on a countertop screaming his lungs out. Your neighbors would think someone is getting killed because of how loud and hard he would scream if a bug or some kind of outside rodent suddenly approached him while hanging out at your place. Count him OUT, he's not dealing with it. You would have to call another friend or some sort of professional to deal with the issue because Riki would stand there screaming that it's trying to kill you. "GET AWAY FROM IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO BITE YOUR FINGER OFF GET OVER HERE!" - He would trip major balls over it and end up embarrassing himself.

Always tries to play it off like he wasn't scared. "I was just messing with you! What do I look like being afraid of a bug smaller than my thumb nail?" -> Would become so embarrassed and flustered when you laughed at him and teased him for his behavior. Always has to find an excuse that makes him seem like less of a wuss. "No, I cried because my tummy hurt, I didn't even notice the grasshopper in here..." (sweating nervously because he doesn't know if it's gone yet)

When you guys don’t spend the night together, Riki has made it a habit to send you really sweet morning messages so you have something nice to wake up to in his absence. He’s always wishing that you have a great day and makes sure he reminds you of how much he loves you and how excited he is to see you again. He sometimes sends you photos of his outfit of the day before he heads out as well because he knows how much you love receiving photos of him. 

He likes to take you out for breakfast dates! He thinks going out for breakfast before splitting up for the day is a great way to make sure you both start off the morning on a positive note. He loves quiet mornings in the cafe with you before his day gets busy. He feels like you’re always giving him the strength he needs to keep a positive attitude about his busy schedule, often feeling as though you’re the reason he ends up having a good day. Your morning pep talks really seem to do wonders for the cutie pie and he will forever express his gratitude for your kindness. 

He sends voice notes of him crybabying from time to time if he thinks you’ve taken too long to respond to his messages when you’re separated. Of course he’s never actually mad or accusing you of anything, he just likes to complain and catch your attention. Sometimes you’ll tease him over the voice notes and it opens the door for him to tease you back, which we’ve already established is like his NUMBER ONE favorite thing to do to you. 

When you DOOO spend the night with Riki? Expect to be pampered. This guy makes it his mission to make sure you’re extra comfortable before going to bed when you’re with him. He will run a nice bath for you to relax in (he will sometimes join you in the tub so you can both enjoy the time of unwinding together), he will do skincare routines with you, stock up on your favorite snacks, and make sure he already has the comfiest and softest pajamas picked out for you to wear. 

Breakfast in bed when you stay the night with him! He wakes up extra early in the mornings after you’ve stayed the night at his place so he can prepare a nice breakfast for you to enjoy in bed. Sharing a lazy breakfast with you brings him a lot of comfort and peace. He feels like moments like those spent in bed sharing a meal are special and irreplaceable. He looks forward to surprising you with something different each morning and he finds it to be a very romantic bonding activity just for the two of you. 

Riki is the best when it comes to reassuring you and providing you with comfort when you need it the most. I feel like he’s probably one of the most open minded people you could ever meet, so he would always be understanding when you want or need more from him. He’s always ready to reassert his love and admiration for you. Most of the time, you don’t really have to ask for him to reassure you that he loves you and isn’t upset with you for any reason but if the time comes, all you have to do is say that maybe you feel a little emotionally distant from him and he’s quick to fix it. 

Aside from being the best at reassuring you, Riki also has stellar communication skills and habits. He never hides what he’s feeling from you and he makes it comfortable enough that you never have to hide your feelings either. If something is wrong, he will immediately speak up about it so you can clear the air as soon as the bad feelings hit so there is no animosity between you two. He allows space for you to do the same thing and is always ready to apologize when he knows he’s overstepped a boundary. 

Overall; Riki is a very sweet, tenderhearted and sometimes childish boyfriend. He likes to spoil you with candles and blankets, he pampers you with breakfast dates and warm baths, and he is very emotionally attached to you! He prefers to keep your relationship private (not hidden by any means) from the general public but he boasts about you nonstop to friends and family. He is a very loving guy who just wants you by his side all the time. He tries to make you as comfortable as possible and he’s always ready to make changes so you can both grow positively as a couple and as individuals. He's still learning how to be a good boyfriend, so he does sometimes slip up and make mistakes but it's no big deal. He's always taking accountability for his mess-ups and he's willing to learn from his mistakes so he doesn't make the same ones over again.

[arabellasleopardcoat]

Masterlist

Hi! This is so I don't lose track of my fics so far. I thank you all for your kind reviews and reblogs, they make my day. Main is blueredwrites. Feel free to drop your thoughts be it in the form of asks, replies or reblogs. 😉

REQUESTS NOW OPEN! SEE THE RULES HERE

What am I working on?

✨️ Indicates smut.

🪆 Indicates possibly triggering.

🍂 Indicates angst.

🧸 Fluff.

House of the Dragon

Alicent Hightower

Oneshots

Crime and Punishment ✨️🪆

The Queen and you get along wonderfully. After all, the strongest friendships are based on shared interests.

Speak now

Alicent is not too sure of how she feels about you. Or about the fact you just proposed to run away. But she is sure about how she feels about the wedding. 

Harwin Strong

Oneshots

Win some, lose some✨️

Harwin and his wife have a disagreement over communication skills. The end result is exactly as the title says.

Lemon cake ✨️

Harwin’s wife is a tough crowd.

Aegon Targaryen

Oneshots

Daedalus

On the eve of Aegon’s coronation, both of you disappear. Your mother imagines a thousand scenarios. But were you really abducted by him or is it a simple coincidence?

Aemond Targaryen

Mini series

Death in four moves 🪆

Aemond and his new partner explore trusting again after SA.

Death in four moves 🧸

Whatever souls are made of 🍂🧸

MAD

Caught in the crossfire of your familiy's ploys, you never expected to catch the eye of the enemy.

Threads of fate

Muña✨️

In which you find yourself caught in a deadly game of tug of war between two dragons. Daemon, your husband, and Aemond, the man who promises to make you a widow.

Oneshots

Last man on earth ✨️

No one told King Aemond about the Song of Ice and Fire. As the daughter of Rhaenyra, you have one last mission left.

Categorical✨️

Aemond needs to blow off some steam, so you offer to verbally spar with him. 

Last word ✨️

Aemond instructs you on the importance of protecting your virtue.

Push and pull ✨️

You just love riling him up. Especially on his name day.

Bouquet of Violets 🧸🍂

You are happy in your marriage, even if your husband can be quite hellish. It all starts to go wrong when a secret admirer shows up.

The Seamstress ✨️

Prince Aemond is your favorite client.

We light the way

House Hightower does not have dragons, but they have a magic of their own.

No masters or kings🪆

Aemond has issues around sex. The thought of being married to you, an angel, it's not helping.

Unforgivable

Aemond and you are tired of being pawns. Instead of chess, you decide to play draughts.

Young Gods 🪆

History has a way of repeating itself. Ft. Hades! Aemond.

A Challenge

In which you are in a search for identity, and Aemond is in search for a way to prove his superiority to your father. Somehow, both of you find each other.

Daemon Targaryen

Oneshots

Honesty✨️

Daemon seduces his unwilling Lady Wife.

Mirror

Courting. Daemon's version.

Capital

You think you married the plainest woman on earth, and you look away for one second and suddenly she is not. Typical. At least, for Daemon.

A Thousand Words ✨️

You want to marry him. He wants to fuck you. The two things are not as incompatible as they sound. 

Violent delights 🪆

As a dornish princess, you live by one saying. All is fair in love and war. When Prince Daemon stumbles into your life, you start to reconsider your stance.

Lookalike

Inside the highest tower of the Red Keep, lives a girl with long silver hair...

Bestiary ✨️

Your husband and you do not speak the same language. During your wedding night, you find out that High Valyrian and the Common Tongue pale when compared to the way your bodies allow you to communicate.

Vūjigon ✨️

Companion piece to Bestiary. Daemon has been having sex without love his whole life. It's easy. Marriage should be more of the same, right?

The dragon has three heads ✨️

It's Viserys first day as a King. You and your twin see him off.

You wouldn't believe the things I have done for her ✨️

Daemon lives a dangerous life. You wish you could find a way to protect him, but you are too afraid of guns. Lucky you, Daemon has a plan.

Gold rush ✨️

Your whole life you have been Daemon’s voice of reason. Tonight, you choose to be the impulsive one. 

To conquer

Incest is common amongst Targaryens, Daemon assures you. Unfortunately, Alicent got to you first.

The girl with the pearl necklace ✨️

You marry Daemon to secure an alliance. But surprisingly, you find a haven in him.

Two ships

Two people who do not understand each other, but keep coming back together. Familiar much? It’s the tale you share with your brother, Daemon.

Clad in sea

It is not Harrenhal, what drives Daemon to the Gods Eye. It’s the memories of you and your daughter.

Miniseries

Little lamb✨️

After the death of Viserys Targaryen, CEO of Targaryen industries, his heirs get into a legal battle over the validity of the will. It's a terrible time to start fucking your sister's brother in law. So of course, you do just that.

Divine intuition ✨️🪆

My take on modern reader meets Daemon

Threads of Fate

Pyrite✨️

A nefarious plot to place Princess Rhaenys on the Iron Throne leaves you, a handmaid, as the sole witnesses. Deciding to save an innocent life, you find yourself an unlikely protector. But Prince Daemon does not make favors lightly.

Helaena Targaryen

Golden Chains✨️

Helaena isn't yours, but you are always hers

Rhaenyra Targaryen

Oneshots

Baby teeth

Cousins. You love them or you hate them. And Rhaenyra knows exactly how she feels about you.

Three-headed dragon ✨️

Three times Rhaenyra marked you, and one time you did too. Or snippets of the love story I so wanted to tell but didn’t feel confident enough to write.

Doom of Ghis✨️

You decide to trick a Queen. It doesn't go quite according to plan.

Threads of Fate

Viserys Targaryen (Yuck)

The dragon has three heads ✨️

Useful writing things - Episodes.

It's Viserys first day as a King. You and your twin see him off.

Events

Halloween

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Princess & The Playboy (Part 6)

Summary: Sam and Max's plan to get their siblings invited to a party may have worked but Sebastian Monroe is a dangerous man and they may have just put not only their lives but their families at risk too...

Masterlist

Pairing: NFL Quarterback!Dean x Pop Star!reader

Word Count: 5,400ish

Warnings: language, family trauma/angst, kidnapping

A/N: Uh oh...

_________

Two Weeks Later

Reader POV

“Damn,” said Dean, shaking out his arm after you’d tossed him a football in the backyard. “I’m going to need your arm workout and no, I am not joking.”

“Oh my god, did I tell you the dance choreographer wanted me to learn to do a handstand so I could sing, upside down? I shut that shit down so fast,” you said, Dean gently tossing the ball back to you. 

“I’m sure you could do it. But I don’t blame you for not wanting to,” he said, catching the ball one handed. “Do you get a lot of say in that stuff? Dance moves?”

“That would require me to be able to dance,” you laughed, clasping both arms around the ball when he threw it back.

“She’s right. God awful dancer when it’s not choreographed. Miracle she can fake it as well as she does,” said Eric from the patio table, glancing up from his phone. “It’s four by the way.”

“Ugh. Why’d we say yes to this stupid party?” you asked. Dean shrugged.

“This guy donates a bunch of money to the Wolves charity every year. Plus Emma said it’s not a bad idea to go to a charity event together. Apparently it helps the public not think of me as such a scoundrel.” You tossed him the ball one last time, clasping your hands behind your back.

“I mean you are the big bad playboy corrupting the virtue of the sweet princess of pop,” you said, batting your eyes, twirling your hips. You grinned when he frowned, his eyes like a predator sizing up his prey. “I think the media is right about you. Such a bad influence.”

“Oh keep it up, princess, and I’ll tell them you ain’t innocent in the slightest.”

“Someone put me out of my misery,” groaned Eric, rising to his feet. “I’m getting dressed and going over protocols with the team. We’ll head out at seven.”

“Ain’t it kind of early to get ready?” asked Dean as you tossed him the ball one last time. Eric only laughed and headed inside, Dean cocking his head at you. “I know girls take a long time to get ready but three hours?”

“Shower. Shave. Makeup. Hair. Plus I told Sloane I’d help do her hair and pick out a dress,” you said, Dean humming. “I’m sure there’s a college game on you could watch for awhile.”

“I got some game film I can review,” he said, a heavy sigh in his shoulders. You wrapped your arms around him, Dean ditching the ball to return it. “It just never ends.”

“You love football, though,” you said, Dean nodding. 

“I do. But every year it’s getting to be more and more. I know you understand the pressure of it all. I just…I’m tired. I want to have more of a life outside my job,” he said, sliding his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” you said softly, Dean sharing the same sad smile you wore. “Me, I can have less tour dates and not put out an album every single year. I can make more wiggle room for myself. But I know you can’t. And sometimes I worry when I watch you play, pushing your body so hard.”

“I’m incredibly lucky I’m the least sacked QB in the league. I’ve had only one surgery and that was cause I broke my toe like an idiot on a coffee table. I don’t want to be like these guys that stay in too long and wind up with so much pain at forty. Or worse.” 

“I guess the thing to ask yourself is, do you want to keep going? Or could you walk away and be satisfied?” you asked. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. 

“All I know is I used to put my head down, bury myself in the game. All I looked forward to was getting to the season, the start of a game, feeling that rush. This year…I’m looking forward to being done with work and games way too much. It’s like I’d rather be somewhere else…with someone else,” he murmured.

You nodded, squeezing his hands. “Nothing to decide today.”

“I know. Go get ready. I can occupy myself for a few hours.”

“Damn,” you said when it was nearly seven. Sloane looked down at herself alarmed, glancing back worried. “Sloane, you’re fucking hot.”

“I’m forty two,” she scoffed, smoothing out the floor length gown. “I’m not hot.”

“Hell yeah you are,” you said, Sloane tucking a strand of freshly curled hair behind her ear. “Eric’s going to fucking drool.”

“He better not,” she mumbled, taking a breath as she put her leg up on a chair and hiked the skirt portion up. She opened up her clutch sat on the end of the bed and slapped a very small thigh holster on her right leg, a smaller than usual gun inside. 

“Right. Cause really hot women packing heat are total turn offs for him,” you said, adjusting the strap that ran across your shoulder. She pouted and you handed her the clutch. “You said you could work with him tonight. We’re only bringing two of you inside and we wanted our best.”

“I can. He’s good about not speaking about anything but strictly work lately,” she said, sitting on the bed. “Does he seem…different to you?”

You knew why she was asking. Eric had told you he needed a few hours a week off for therapy a few weeks back. You practically jumped for joy that he was going to get some help to work through some things. Then it all shattered when he said it was related to his dad and needing to address some stuff he did to him as a kid. He didn’t share more but you had a feeling that had as much impact on him as his days in the military, probably more.

“It’s hard to tell with him,” you said, trying to respect his privacy. Plus, it actually was difficult to see a difference. Eric held everything close to the chest. Sometimes too much.

“Yeah. There’ll be no issues working together this evening,” she said, forcing a smile. You wanted to offer some reassurance that he was trying and maybe someday things between them could change. But honestly, you had no clue if they would work things out.

“Good. Well, let’s go see the boys.” A moment later you were coming down the stairs, Dean and Eric wandering out from the front hall in their tuxedos. Eric had always looked handsome when he dressed up but Dean?

He was walking sin in the tailored outfit, showing off his large shoulders and trim waist. You could feel the heat in your cheeks when he stared like he wanted to devour you then and there.

“Wow,” said Dean, a growing smile on his face, eyeing you up and down. It was a fairly simple dress. Black. One shoulder and a thin strap on the other. Form fitting up top before it became loose at the hips. It probably didn’t match black tie standard one hundred percent but it’d been sitting in your closet for two years and you finally had an excuse to wear it.

“Wow yourself,” you said, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. “Put you in one of these and you’d never imagine you spend literally every single day in flannels, henleys, and black tees.”

“Strange considering I’ve seen you wearing those clothing items a lot more yourself lately,” he teased, grinning down like a cat staring at the mouse it’d cornered.

“Oh, just a coincidence,” you said, Eric clearing his throat. You rolled your eyes, getting a roll in return. “You look nice too, Eric. I know you need the compliment on your appearance or your ego will bust.”

“Why did I take this job,” he mumbled to himself, staring at Sloane as she walked ahead for the front door. “You look beautiful.”

Sloane stopped dead in her tracks, looking over her shoulder at him, his gaze shooting to you. 

“I know you’ve wanted to wear that dress for awhile,” he said to you, Sloane rolling her eyes and walking outside. Eric closed his eyes when she was gone, Dean slapping his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I’m sure my hyper observant protection agent didn’t catch the way you said that straight to her face and then pretended to say it to your boss.” Eric shrugged him off and grumbled on his way outside, harshly pulling the door behind him. “Damn. I was hoping they’d have some kind of fairytale moment or shit. He looked like he wanted to fuck her over the kitchen table.”

“I don’t know. We’ll just…wait and see what happens,” you said, holding out your hand. “Ready to go?”

“One sec,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out. He slipped something elastic over your wrist, beaming when you stared down at it to find it was a friendship bracelet, like the kind from when you were kids. This one was black, gray and white, the LA Wolves colors. You turned it over when you felt a few square beads, expecting to see DEAN.

Your heart skipped when you saw MAX with a few beads separating it from SAM. You glanced up Dean, his green eyes flittering down to where he’d removed his jacket, right sleeve pushed up. 

Dean had always had Sam’s initials tattooed on his forearm. You remember that happened at some point in college, not too long after Sam went missing. The initials right below it were new though, his skin tinged a light pink from where the tattoo was still fresh.

“Is that-”

“Max’s initials? Yeah, looks like it,” he said, a coy smile crossing his face. You held out a finger, Dean humming it was alright to touch. A thick swallow was audible as you traced over the delicate skin, black ink soaked into the creamy canvas of his body.

“Fuck you,” you whispered, Dean’s face falling.

“Sweetheart, I’m-” he said as he wiped at your eyes, mascara coming away on the back of your hand. You laughed, shaking your head at him.

“Look what you did you sweet man,” you laughed, a few tears falling free. “Dean, you didn’t have to put his name on your body.”

“Brothers go on the arm. It’s kind of my thing,” he said, your bottom lip wobbling as a swell of emotion hit you. “Are you mad?”

“No,” you croaked out, squeezing your bracelet. “I wish they were with us.”

“Me too,” he said softly, wiping his thumb under your eye, stopping a tear from falling. “Y/N.”

You met his green eyes, thumb stroking your cheek with a barely there touch.

“You understand you’re my girl, right?” You nodded, Dean’s head tilting slightly, eyes scanning down to your lips slowly and back up just as lazily. “So. Am I yours?”

You held a finger to his lips and turned towards the front door, pulling it open, Eric and Sloane both leaned against an SUV.

“We’ll leave in thirty,” you said, pulling the door shut again, finding Dean with a raised eyebrow. “I need ten to fix my makeup. The other twenty is to show you exactly how much you’re mine.”

Dean POV

I stepped outside while Y/N used the bathroom, the brisk air doing wonders for cooling me down after what I could only describe as the most intimate handjob I’d ever received. It was the one thing that stuck out to me about sex with Y/N. Every other partner I’d had, it was about release, pleasure. With Y/N though, it felt different. A good different. Yeah, it was about the pleasure there too but it was…comforting in a way, joined together. 

Once Y/N had let go of her fear of it, intimacy turned out to be one of her favorite things in the world. And it was becoming one of mine too. She just made me feel safe. Whole again.

“Told you she’d cry about the tattoo,” mumbled Eric in my ear, hands clasped behind his back. “Surprised you didn’t get down on one knee yet.”

“We understand what we are to each other,” I said, adjusting the sleeve of my jacket. “The time for that’ll come eventually but I don’t think either one of us is in a rush to get there.”

“Ready!” exclaimed Y/N, rushing outside barefoot, the skirt of her dress bunched up in one hand, heels in the other. “How late are we?”

“Oh, only forty five minutes,” said Eric, Y/N jumping in the backseat when he opened the door. “Clutch?”

“I’m the purse tonight,” I chuckled, patting my pocket where her phone, a lipstick and extra hair tie resided. 

“Good. I usually get stuck with it,” said Eric, patting my bottom. “Let’s move it kiddos.”

“Hopefully this party doesn’t suck,” said Y/N beside me as we drove up a long driveway thirty minutes later, lips pursed.

“You hate parties,” Eric chuckled from the passenger seat.

“I hate parties where people ask me to sing at their kid’s sweet sixteen which is like, almost all the time,” she said, my hand reaching over and interlacing our hands together. “Sorry. That sounded bitchy.”

“It sounded like that’s really annoying to have happen all the time,” I said, the car slowing down behind another luxury SUV. “We won’t stay long, just a few hours. I know we have to do this for me.”

“Hey,” she said, voice firm. My eyes flickered to hers in the dark space. “We both have more money than we know what to do with. I’m perfectly happy to waste an evening if it means sending some of that money to a good cause. You getting some good press out of it is a bonus.”

“I ever tell you how wonderful you are?” I asked, heart swelling up as she blushed. “Want to go show off your reformed bad boy, sweetheart?”

“You were never bad,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. She grinned goofily and wiped them off with her thumb. “Lipstick.”

“You can take it off if you promise to put it back later,” I said, Y/N’s eyes flirting down to my groin, a wicked smirk on her face. “Down girl.”

“I’ll play with you later,” I said as we stopped. Eric slid out of the passenger seat as I opened the back door. I exited and held out a hand, helping Y/N down in her obnoxious skinny little heels. They looked like a death trap to me but she danced around on stage for three hours in them so if anyone knew how to work them, it was her.

Damn she was sexy in that dress. Almost as sexy as those red flannel pajama pants she wore last night. And that cozy blue sweater on Thursday. Or that-

“Stop staring at her,” said Sloane, pushing on my back so I’d move and she could slip out of the backseat. “You’re like a puppy obsessed with her.”

“Be nice,” Y/N chided, taking a step forward, letting me follow her lead. Eric and Sloane fell in place behind us, the driver staying with the car and driving off towards where the cars were being parked. 

A man in a nice suit opened the front door for us, revealing a grand hall that made Y/N’s house look like a starter home. 

“This guy is loaded,” I whispered in Y/N’s ear as we found ourselves quickly surrounded by people when they caught sight of her. There must have been three hundred people at this thing.

“Here we go,” she mumbled before putting on a big smile, immediately getting asked to be in a selfie with a woman in her twenties.

For the next thirty minutes it felt like we were bombarded, stuck not ten feet past the door in a never ending line of people wanting to talk to Y/N. Yes, some people were football fans but a vast majority were there for Y/N, some nervous, some practically jumping out of their skins.

“Damn dude, you’re beyond lucky,” said some guy to me as his wife took a picture with Y/N. 

“I know I am,” I responded, Y/N giving me a flash of a smile.

“She needs a break,” whispered Eric in my ear. I stepped forward and cut off the next gaggle of women that wanted to approach. 

“Excuse me, I need to steal Y/N for a minute,” I said, taking her arm and leading her down the large open hall.

“Thanks,” she said, grabbing a glass of champagne off a servers tray. She knocked it back and I started to scan the room in search of water for her.

“Hi,” said a teenage girl in a light blue dress, approaching slowly. She seemed out of place at the event filled with adults in designer clothes. “I’m Cecilia Monroe, Sebastian Monroe’s daughter.”

Ah she was this guys kid. That made sense. “Nice to meet you. We haven’t met your father yet. We’d like to thank him for his numerous donations to the Wolves charity over the years.”

“You have a lovely home,” said Y/N, the girl blushing, clasping her hand over her wrist in a failed attempt to hide her friendship bracelet. Y/N caught it and smiled. “Did you go to the tour this year?”

“Uh yeah. My dad got VIP tickets,” she said shyly, suddenly straightening her back. “I’ll be on the veranda. Please come find me when you’re through with my dad. It’s very important.”

She scuttled away, Y/N raising an eyebrow.

“I think you have a superfan,” I chuckled, Y/N biting her lip. “You think she’s a problem?”

“No. She’s a fan clearly but I don’t know,” she said, waving for Eric and Sloane to join us from where they stood together by a table of appetizers. 

“You two good?” asked Sloane, their eyes finding the young girl and watching her leave.

“Keep an eye on that girl,” Y/N said, nodding as Cecilia went through open back doors outside. They both readied themselves but Y/N shook her head. “Just watch her. This might be a Denver situation.”

“Denver?” I asked, Eric frowning. 

“Fan in Denver was being abused by her parents. Subtly asked Y/N for help at an event. Smart kid actually,” said Eric. “Sloane and I can try a soft approach with the girl, get a feel for if something is up, relay we can keep her safe .”

“This guy does have a lot of private security,” said Sloane. “If something’s happening, she may feel safer knowing we can protect her in the interim.”

“Let’s go talk to the girl,” said Y/N just as a man in a very nice suit came striding down the hall towards us. “I think that’s our host.”

“Eric, Sloane, go see what’s up. We can fend for ourselves for awhile,” I said. They scuttled away as the man greeted us, holding out a hand and shaking mine firmly.

“Sebastian Monroe,” he said with a pleasant enough smile. “And you two are the power couple my teenage daughter will not stop talking about.”

“Yeah, we get that a lot. We said hello to her earlier,” said Y//N with a fake smile, staying close to my side when the men looked like he was going to reach for her hand. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Dean Winchester,” I said, taking my hand back, the other wrapped around Y/N’s waist. The man only smiled though, like we didn’t need to introduce ourselves. “I’ve heard you’re a Wolves fan.”

“Oh not anymore than anyone else,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Although a signed jersey by you would certainly go for big bucks at our next charity auction.”

“We’ll have to make that happen for sure,” I said, not enjoying the way his gaze traveled down Y/N’s body. I’d seen it plenty of times tonight but his seemed the most sleazy of all. 

“Speaking of the auction, where are the tables? I’d love to donate,” said Y/N.

“Right side of the veranda, sweetie.” Y/N hummed, giving me a look to join her as soon as I could. “Boy, if I was ten years younger.”

I couldn’t hide my annoyance, Sebastian flashing me a smile. “Oh no. Please go ahead and tell me what you’d do if you were ten years younger.”

“Easy kid. Half the population would bone her if they could,” he said, sipping from the glass in his hand. He took his turn to eye me, a curious look on his face. “You know, I could be inclined to offer another sizeable donation to the Wolves charity for those kids if I could get one of those signed jerseys myself.”

I bit my tongue, both of us aware of the clear message. Refuse and good ol’ Sebastian stops donating a million dollars each year to kids in poverty.

“I’m sure you got one around here somewhere we could fix up,” I said. Sebastian threw an arm over my shoulder and I hide my cringe. 

“Good man. Come on. I got one right in my game room.”

Reader POV

There wasn’t really anything you wanted from the silent auction but you had found a general donation slip at the end of the table and jotted down your agent’s information. You’d looked around for Eric and Sloane or the girl when you finished but hadn’t found any of them which probably wasn’t a good sign. You frowned and walked over the railings edge, looking around the dim yard for any sign of them.

“Bruschetta?” asked one of the servers. 

“No thank you,” you said without looking.

“I must insist,” he said. You rolled your eyes, ready to give it to this guy but something seemed familiar about him. He handed you one on a small napkin as you kept staring. “Take a bite and smile, pretend it’s really good.”

You’d had more than a handful of dangerous fan interactions over the years but this felt…different.

You did as he asked, faking wide eyes at the average at best food. “Who are you?”

“Do not make a scene,” he said as you finished off the food. “I need to get to your bodyguards.”

“Are you trying to protect that girl? Cecilia?” you asked as you played along and took another piece off the tray.

“What? No. I don’t have time for this,” he said, stepping in front of you, your gaze narrowing. “Do not ask questions. Just get me and Max the fuck out of here.”

“Max?” Your heart skipped a beat, the food falling from your hand as you understand where you’d seen him before. “Y-You’re Sam.”

“We’re watched. Get your guards to get us out. Don’t get caught or we’re dead,” he said, turning away and offering a couple nearby food from his tray. You swallowed, instantly putting on your performer’s smile. The one you wore that time you had food poisoning during a concert and were throwing up between songs back in the summer. The crowd had no fucking clue you felt like shit while you gave them the show of their lives.

Time to act your fucking ass off. 

You walked past Sam without a second glance, wishing you could ask him all the questions swirling around in your head. Tell him he was going to be okay. Give him a damn hug and tell him he was safe now.

But you wore that damn smile, all while your blood was boiling. You’d had a lot of dark fantasies about what you’d do to the person that took Max. In recent weeks that’d turned to include Sam too. 

It turned out the monster was a hundred feet away from you inside some fucking mansion.

“Y/N,” said Sloane, appearing through a set of open doors in the house, catching your arm a little roughly. “Stay in public.”

“I need to talk-” She shot daggers at you, shutting you up. 

“Stay in public for the love of god or Eric will kill me,” she said, loosening her grip. “In forty five seconds I need you to be the biggest distraction in the world. Do not go in any rooms with anyone. Your fame will keep you safe but only if there are people around to witness it. Eric has eyes on him. Do not ask questions. Understand?”

“Sam’s on the veranda,” you whispered, Sloane nodding. Cecilia must have told her and Eric about your brothers.

“Go give us a shot to get them out of here.” You nodded and slipped inside, heart thumping away in your throat. Max was with with Eric. Wherever he was, he was with Eric. He was safe. And Sam should have been with Sloane by then. They were both safe.

As long as they got them out of this house and into the damn car before anyone could notice. Before all those private security guards seemingly on the edge of every room could stop them. Your driver was fast though. They just had to get the boys in the car and they’d be alright.

So you needed to be a distraction. A big fucking distraction and buy them time. You froze in the middle of the hallway, watching Sebastian leave a room with Dean by his side, horribly annoyed from the looks of it. An idea sparked in your mind, one you hoped Dean forgave you for someday. 

Yeah, you knew how to cause a big fucking distraction alright.

Dean POV

“You son of a bitch!” screamed Y/N. Normal people could scream loud. A goddamn professional singer that could belt out ballads while running? The whole house went silent at her ear piercing shriek. Even the string orchestra stopped playing. I stared at her as she climbed on top of a table in the center hall, my eyes going wide. “You fucking cheater! You’re a fucking cheater Dean Winchester!”

“Excuse me?” I said, a hundred already with their phones out with even more people piling into the house from the veranda. “Sweetheart-”

“Don’t sweetheart me!” she screamed again. What the fuck was happening? “You’re a cheating bastard! You swore you were different!”

“Y/N, get off the table,” I said gently, very aware of the many phones that were facing us, even some from the freaking staff and private event security. Y/N only backed away when I reached for her, fury in her eyes so visceral it felt like it burned. “Y/N what-”

“I know what you did with her! By the fucking cherry blossoms? Our cherry blossoms? You think you can sleep around on me? I’m the motherfucking Princess of Pop! The world fucking loves me!” 

Something was wrong. Besides the fact I hadn’t cheated, Y/N wasn’t one to scream at people from tabletops. She wasn’t drunk and she wasn’t on drugs. And we had no fucking cherry blossoms. Except for the fact it was the code to get in her house. 

Trust. She was asking me to fucking trust her right now in front of three hundred people while she tore down my reputation.

If my girl was losing her shit, well damn I was going to play right along.

“Oh get off your high fucking horse!” I shouted, Y/N flinching for a brief moment like it’d stung. “I never made you promises. We aren’t even fucking exclusive!”

“What?!” she shouted back as Sebastian came over, clearing his throat.

“Perhaps if you two could-”

“This bitch is a moron for thinking I’d ever want someone like her. Of course I’m dicking around with you! You really think I want some goodie two shoes like you?”

“Man whore!” she shouted.

“Fucking prude!” I screamed back, praying to god Y/N knew that every word out of my mouth was a lie. “No wonder no one wants to date you. Getting in your pants wasn’t even worth it!”

“Funny since getting in yours just takes a smile. I’m surprised you haven’t contracted every disease known to man you pig!”

“At least I get some! You’re wound up so tight surprised anything can fucking fit up there!” Fuck, I was really going to hate myself in the morning.

Y/N was halfway through screaming back at me when I felt both my phone and Y/N’s go off in my pocket.

YOUR BROTHERS ARE SAFE. HOST SECURITY KNOWS WE GOT THEM OUT. OUR SECURITY & FEDS ON THE WAY. ETA TEN MINUTES. DON’T TRUST LOCAL COPS. CORRUPTED. HOST IS BAD GUY. STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND GUARDS. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO TO STAY IN PUBLIC. 

“What the fuck does brothers safe mean?” I asked, tossing my phone to her. Y/N caught it one handed, her whole body relaxing momentarily before tensing again, her rage suddenly on it’s true target.

Sebastian Monroe.

“Our brothers were here,” she grit out. She ripped off her heels and hopped down onto the floor, stalking over to Sebastian slowly like he was her prey. Her face darkened and I swore she looked ready to tear someone’s throat out. “Our baby brothers were in this fucking house! As your servers! Not of their free will! No. No, they were being watched. Forced. Last I checked, our baby brothers were kidnapped and they didn’t get un-fucking kidnapped.”

She gripped her heel tight in her left hand, right clenched so hard I saw the bone against the skin of her knuckles.

“I don’t care if you weren’t the one that took them. But you kept them and I’m going to fucking destroy you for it,” she growled, approaching him as my brain tried to catch up. 

“Y/N what are-”

“I saw Sam! And he was scared and said they’d kill him if he got caught talking to me. They’re safe now but Sam and Max were forced to live here. By him.” Her head turned towards Sebastian, his own head glancing at his security team. “What the fuck did you do to our brothers?”

It clicked for me what she’d been saying, what the text meant, why Y/N had acted so out of character. So full of hatred. But I barely had a chance to feel that same hatred. 

Because in the blink of an eye, one of Sebastian’s guards grabbed at Y/N and her fist shot out, connecting with the man’s jaw. He seemed alarmed at her strength and fell back, another guard trying to get their hands on her.

“Get off!” she shouted, kneeing another guy before flipping him on his back. But there were too many of them and I rushed forward, yanking her behind me just as Sebastian got in my face.

He eyed me up and down, smirking at me. “Oh you two just made a big mistake.”

He clasped his hands together loudly as his guards surrounded us, turning his attention to the rest of the party.

“Let’s give the love birds some privacy to sort out their issues,” he chuckled. “And maybe keep an eye on the open bar, hm?”

He spun back around and leaned in close, the stench of cigars and alcohol on his breath. 

“Get your brothers back here or I’ll fuck her up so badly there won’t be anything left to bury.” He gripped my shoulder, too forcefully. “And then I’ll bury you alive in the woods all the while the world will think you got in a drunken accident on the way home. After all you had a very loud and public argument tonight. With the friends I have in certain positions of authority…I can make even you two disappear like nothing.”

Y/N gripped the back of my suit jacket tight, a slight tremble in her hand as she listened to him speak.

“Get those boys back and get those guards back in the next ten minutes or I start cutting off pieces of the damn princess of pop.”

________

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

[porcelainseashore]

Coffee & Secrets (5)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rookie Cop! Leon x Barista! Fem! Reader

Summary: As a cozy coffee shop owner in Raccoon City, you’re no stranger to visitors seeking comfort, quiet, and warmth. When a rookie officer named Leon finds a kindred spirit in you, it sets in motion a chain of events that forever changes the course of your lives. An alternate universe set in Resident Evil 2 Remake and inspired by the game Coffee Talk.

Content & Warnings: Canon divergence, coffee shops, romance, slow burn, strangers to lovers, idiots in love, fluff, slice of life, swearing

Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to @pickonerain! You've been an absolute star to me and seeing as you love Sherry, here's her little addition to the story 😇

AO3 Link

Chapter 5: Divergence

It was not like Claire and Leon to hide from you, but somehow they had ended up right at the other end of the room, far away from the counter, out of sight. They seemed deep in conversation, their expressions grim, and Leon was gripping his porcelain cup so tight you were afraid it would shatter to bits in his hand.

Curiosity—or rather, nosiness—got the better of you, and you scooted closer to the couple, pretending to sweep the area so you could listen in more easily.

“This was why you wanted to meet me, Claire?”

“Isn’t it important enough? I don’t get why you’re being so defensive!”

“I thought you wanted to catch up over coffee, not use me for one of your schemes!”

“Use you? Are you even listening to yourself? How does bringing down that son of a bitch count as ‘using you’?

“Chief Irons probably had a good reason, and all these rumors—”

“Rumors? There’s cold, hard evidence! We just need that one missing piece—”

“No! Forget it.”

“What?”

“I’m not getting involved.”

“So, this is it, huh? You go your way, and I go mine?”

“I…”

“I’m embarrassed I even called you a friend.”

Kicking out her chair, Claire threw down a couple of bills on the table before storming out in a fit of rage, slamming the front door behind her. 

Before you could even react, Leon had beaten you to it. “Don’t look at me like that,” he chided, though he had ducked his face away, red with shame. “I know you heard everything. You weren’t exactly being very stealthy.”

“That was never really my strong suit,” you admitted. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be my guest,” he said, motioning to the seat beside him, still unable to look you in the eye.

Spying his half-finished drink on the table, now cold, you resisted the urge to get up and fix it, knowing there were other things he needed more in that moment. So, you continued to sit with him, and even though you did not exchange any words, you breathed together, content with sharing in each other’s company until he was ready to speak.

“Do you think I’m naive?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“Maybe I’m scared that I am,” he confessed, his voice small and tired. “What if I’m wrong? What if Claire’s wrong?”

Cradling his cheek in your hand, you caressed it softly. He didn’t protest, but leaned in indulgently, nuzzling his nose against your palm like a deer. Then, something clicked internally and he broke away, straightening up in his seat as though he had not just given in to his desires a moment ago. However, this time, his face was angled towards you, waiting.

“What does your gut feeling say?” you put forward. “I’d trust that.”

He hesitated, taking a deep breath as he stared off into the distance, gathering his thoughts. “A snake oil salesman—that’s one way of putting it.”

“Chief Irons,” he clarified. “Whenever I get close to something nasty, he throws me off scent.”

Another hunter—a more seasoned one, you observed.

“I guess you have your answer.”

He collapsed into the backrest of the armchair and exhaled, as though a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “I’ll figure it out,” he stated, mostly to himself.

“I know you will,” you said encouragingly.

He had chosen the more difficult path, but at least he had made peace with it and was no longer in denial about Chief Irons’ deception. That was definitely a step in the right direction.

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

Once again, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you. It felt nice like this, as though your very thoughts and beings were connected.

“I want to know more about you,” he professed out of the blue. “But somehow, you always manage to steer the conversation back to me.”

You gulped, fiddling with your hands. “What do you wanna know?”

“Everything,” he murmured. “Your backstory, your favorite color, what do you do outside of work…” he trailed off.

“I’m not used to talking about myself,” you spelled out.

He grinned cheekily, as if the battle had already been won. “Don’t worry, I’m a good listener.”

And so, you yielded to him, letting things unfold as they should. Hours passed while you shared tales and secrets over cups of spiced tea with sweet milk. The flavors of cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg swirled around your tongue, bringing to mind the warm, inviting breeze of a coastal town near the Red Sea.

“There’s many names for it,” you explained, circling the rim of the cup with your finger lazily. “But I know it as Shai Adeni.”

Leon nestled his chin in his hand, propping his elbow on the table as he gazed at you, captivated. “Incredible.”

“Hmm?” You were not sure if he had registered what you had just said.

Reaching out, he cupped the back of your neck, pulling you close. His heated breath moist against your flushed skin, and the scent of his cologne was dizzying. “You’re—”

The door chime jingled.

Both of you jolted, separating yourselves away from each other in a flash, as your eyes fell upon a little girl standing shyly by the entrance. She was dressed in a school uniform, her hair neatly swept back with a headband into a braided bun.

“Hey there,” you greeted, brushing your hands against your apron as you stood up, shuffling past Leon towards her. “Would you like something to drink?”

At this, she nodded enthusiastically, following you to the counter to grab a seat. As you infused white chocolate into milk with a good dollop of citrus, you exchanged looks with Leon, who held the same concerns as you.

Sliding over another high chair adjacent to hers, he gently opened with, “Hey, I’m Leon. You got a name, pumpkin?”

She wrinkled her nose and grimaced at the nickname. “Sherry,” she replied timidly.

“Nice to meet you, Sherry,” Leon said, shaking hands before he continued, “So, it’s really late, huh? Do your parents know where you are?”

She twiddled her thumbs, swinging her dangling legs back and forth on the chair. “They don’t care,” she said finally. “They’re busy.”

“What do your parents do?”

“They work at Umbrella. They’re making important new medicine,” she revealed proudly.

“Sounds like a tough job,” Leon empathized.

After sprinkling the glittery icing sugar on her drink, you set it before her with a flourish. “Voilà, your Yuzu Meringue, Miss Sherry.”

She giggled at your performance and slurped down the foamy surface. “Mmm!”

“Good, huh?” Leon gave her a side smile.

“Tell you what, Sherry,” you began, “when you finish your drink, my friend Leon here will take you home, okay?”

Her nose was dusted with powder and the cup was still covering half of her face as her eyes darted towards the man.

“He’s a good cop, you’ll be safe with him,” you reassured her. 

Scribbling down your shop’s telephone number on a piece of scrap paper, you handed it to her. “Keep this, you can call me anytime you need to.”

Taking it, she pursed her lips and nodded reluctantly as she stuffed it away into her pocket. “Can I—” she paused, “can I come here whenever I want? You and Leon are nice.”

A pang of loneliness hit you. You sensed it from the tone of her voice and what was left unsaid. It didn’t seem like she had many friends and you wondered about it.

“Please?” she begged, interrupting your thoughts.

“Of course, sweetheart,” you said warmly. “You’re welcome here anytime.”

“Thank you!” she squealed, running over to give you a quick hug before taking Leon by the hand.

Turning to you, a rosy hue spread across his face as he smiled meekly. “So… uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“See you tomorrow, as usual, Leon.”

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[reminiscingtonight]

Half A World Away

Lucy Bronze x Reader

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Don’t say y’all didn’t ask for it. Based on “Half A World Away” by Remme and Clara Mae.

[Part Two]

[WOSO Masterlist]

You’ve forgotten how loud the rain can get in Seattle. 

It’s midnight where you’re at, the loud splatter of drops doing nothing to help soothe the storm raging in your head. Though you’ve long gone to bed, the empty apartment and emptier heart making you far more tired than it should, you haven’t been able to fall asleep.

After spending the past couple years in England, you’ve finally decided to come back home to play. Your national team teammates were more than stoked when they found out about the transfer, welcoming you with open arms and tight hugs. 

To be fair, this had been a long time coming. Although you hadn’t planned to return so soon, returning had been in your plans. You just thought that you’d be coming to play out the last year or so of your career with the love of your life by your side.

But sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you want it to. You still had many years left to go, retirement still eons away. And then there’s the issue of the person you’ve spent the last couple years loving. She’s not here next to you, and if you’re being honest, you don’t think she’ll ever be. 

As much as you want Seattle to be home, you know the truth. 

Home will always be back on the other side of the world. 

---

Waking up to Lucy will always be your favorite thing to do. She’s got her arms wrapped tight around you, as if you’d run away sometime in the middle of the night. 

You press a light kiss against her forehead before extricating yourself from her arms. Lucy’s a deep sleeper, so climbing out of bed isn’t hard to do. What’s harder is trying to cook breakfast without setting fire to the kitchen. There’s a reason Lucy’s always the one cooking whenever you guys find yourselves in need of food. 

Somehow you make it through unscathed, making your way back to your shared room with a tray loaded with homemade waffles and a small fruit salad, some coffee balanced precariously on the edge. To your delight, Lucy’s still fast asleep when you toe open the door.

Setting the tray off to the side, you climb back into bed. Lucy only starts stirring when you start pressing some light kisses against her face. 

Her nose scrunches up first, but it isn’t until she lazily blinks her eyes open that you’re sure she’s awake. Lucy gives you a tired smile. 

“Hi.”

“Morning,” you chirp back, leaning back in again, but this time for an actual kiss. 

Lucy rests her hands along the back of your neck, letting you put your full weight on her. You’re smiling when you break apart.

“When do you leave?”

The reminder that your time together is limited makes you frown. City and Arsenal played a game yesterday, hence your ability to spend last night with Lucy. Although you finessed this little getaway, Jordan and Leah were currently enjoying a late brunch with Keira, the two gunners ready to pick you up in a couple hours to head back to London. Though you appreciated the leeway they were giving you, you know you can’t leave them hanging for too long.

“I’ve got a couple hours.”

Whatever Lucy’s about to respond stops when she turns to grab her glasses off the bedside table. She squints when she catches sight of the tray. 

“You made me breakfast in bed?”

“You sound surprised,” you tease.

She looks a little bashful. “I mean… you’re never one to be eager to cook.”

“Keep up this attitude and I might never again.”

Both of you are laughing when Lucy lunges up at you, blowing a raspberry against your cheek before she’s suddenly flipping the two of you over. You gasp, not expecting the action, but Lucy keeps you pinned to the bed.

You’re holding your breath when she ducks down, sucking a mark into the side of your neck. 

“A couple hours you said?”

The words are mumbled out, but you can still feel her smirk. 

When you end up being late to the pick up site, Jordan teases you until you’re bright red in the face.  

---

Lucy tells you about Barcelona while the two of you are in California. You’re seeing the sights, visiting some of your friends with some of her English teammates when she tells you about her new contract.

“It’s a great opportunity.” 

You don’t say anything else. You wonder if she thinks you’ll stop her from going.

“Let’s just enjoy the rest of our vacation, okay?”

The answer is no, you would never stop her from following her dreams.

What you don’t realize is that Lucy never had you in her plans for Barcelona.

Lucy’s packing, about to leave for camp when she breaks up with you. You have to leave for your own camp soon, but you haven’t left yet, still dressed in one of her sweaters when she utters the words.

Long distance isn’t something she wants to do, she tells you. You know how her relationship with Keira ended, how much the distance killed them before they could really start.

But you thought you guys were different. After all, you made the brief distance between your respective clubs work. 

Lucy’s not meeting your eyes when you try to convince her otherwise. 

In the end it doesn’t matter. 

“Please don’t go,” you whisper, trying to ignore the fact that Jordan told you about a ring months ago. 

“I… I’m sorry. I really am.” Lucy really does look heartbroken when she leaves you sitting alone in her apartment. 

You have to fake being okay when your friends win the Euros. You cheer with Jordan, let the smaller girl drag you to the last couple games. You do everything you can, but you still miss her even though she hasn’t left yet. 

And when the airplane finally takes Lucy away to Barcelona, you feel your heart leave with her. 

---

Sonnett tries to get you to go biking with her. 

Something she took away from her time in DC was her love for biking. She’s somehow roped Rose into doing it, Rose got Sofia to do it, and now they all have their sights set on you. 

You don’t have the heart to tell them biking only takes you back to England, that it makes you think of the girl who you loved so fully but broke your heart. 

The first time Lucy takes you on a bike ride, it’s 12am and the two of you have just returned from a date night at a bowling alley. You give the defender an affronted look when she drags you towards the bike shop. 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” 

“I think we have different definitions of the word ‘fun’,” you tsk. 

You still let her drag you into the store. You’re not really listening when she talks with the clerk, pointing out the bikes she wanted to purchase. 

When she plops a helmet on your head, you give her your best glare. Both of you know there’s no real heat behind it. Lucy tilts your head back and you accept her kiss without a fuss. 

“Love you,” she murmurs.

Your eyes are sparkling with mirth when you pull away. “You already got me to agree to go midnight biking with you. There’s no need to sweet talk me.”

Lucy rolls her eyes, but there’s no hiding her grin. “Alright sweet cheeks, path’s this way.”

Everything’s normal the first couple minutes. You pedal quietly side by side, the path being big enough for the two of you. When Lucy slyly glances at you before winking, you know she’s about to do something stupid. 

You’re proven correct not long after. Lucy throws both of her hands up into the air, letting out a whoop as she somehow keeps her balance.

“You’re literally going to get us into trouble,” you laugh, making sure to keep your own hands on your handle bars.

“With who?” Lucy snorts. She does put her hands back on her bars though. “We’re not in season right now, so it’s just you and me. I won’t tell if you don’t.”

You chuckle. “Babe, I’m not going to lie about how you got hurt when we go to the ER later because you fell off your bike.”

“Oh ye of little faith.”

It’s beautiful, the path she takes you on.

The two of you bike past rivers, through parks, nothing but the sparkling stars and moon lighting your paths. Though the sights you see are beautiful, you know none of it compares to the beauty of your girlfriend. Every time you catch sight of her that night, the flutter in your heart only magnifies.

From there on out, biking becomes sort of a ritual for the two of you. After a particularly hard game or a fight of some sort, the two of you always recouped the same way --- midnight bike rides. The distance of course made biking together a difficult thing, but you always made the most of it when you guys were finally reunited.

But you don’t know how to tell your friends any of that. 

So you don’t.

Still, you can’t help but compare the feel of Sonny’s hands on your waist, her voice echoing loud next to your ears when she hops onto the back of your bike to Lucy’s. You have to scoot a little forward so the blonde doesn’t fall back, but you get flashbacks to when Lucy used to do the same. Sonnett’s yelling something about how you pedal slower than her grandma, Rose giggling somewhere close behind, but everything about this just feels wrong. 

Sonny isn’t Lucy. Seattle isn’t London or Manchester. 

You’re surrounded by some of your best friends, but still you feel alone. 

Something tells you it’s time you get used to this feeling, because the truth is, Lucy’s not coming back. Lucy’s not coming back and you’re not going home. 

England and Lucy will always hold a special part in your heart, but this is your new normal and there’s nothing you can do but get used to it. 

---

You tried, you really did. 

You play the new season for a couple months, trying to ignore the empty feeling left behind by Lucy’s absence. But it’s hard to find joy in the sport and the city you’re not used to being alone in. 

Whenever the WSL season started, you and Lucy would take turns making the trip out to the other’s city. Even when you weren’t physically next to the other, you’d stay connected through the phone, text messages and facetimes keeping your relationship alive. 

The rational part of you knows it’s stupid. Leaving in the middle of the season? Leaving the place you’ve called home for the past couple years?

There’s also the little voice in your head that won’t stop yelling about the fact that Seattle is further away than London. If Lucy didn’t want a long distance relationship between Barcelona and London, she definitely wouldn’t want one with you in Seattle.

It’s easier to ignore that voice. It’s not like Lucy left the door open for the two of you when she left. Your relationship was over, and you just had to deal with it. 

Apparently your way of “dealing with it” involves hopping on a plane to the other side of the world.

Leah’s the one you tell first. She’s become one of the people you’ve gotten closest to ever since you arrived in England all those years ago. The blonde thinks you’re joking until you ask her if she wants your plant collection.

“Look, I don’t want to be cruel, but don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? Lucy broke up with you, and I get it, that sucks, but you shouldn’t run away.”

“I’m not running away,” you huff, knowing exactly what Leah’s trying to get at.

“Leaving for a team that hasn’t even started their season yet seems like running away.”

“Lucy left first, so why can’t I?” Though snapped out, your words still come out a little broken.

You look away then, trying to hide your tears before Leah can spot them. 

Leah simply sighs, ignoring the hurt in your voice. Her voice is a little gentler this time around. “I want you to be doing this for yourself, not because of Lucy.”

You’re quiet for a moment, really thinking it through. If you’re being honest, the thought of playing back home has always been a nagging thought. With no one to come home to anymore, it just made the decision all the more easier. “I... I think I’ve been wanting to go home for a while. Lucy ending things just-- it just made it more clear for me.”

Every time you go to camp, you can’t help but feel a little bit left out whenever your friends tell you about all they get up to in the states. They’re always suspended in awe whenever you tell them about your life in England, but leaving your friends is never easy when camp comes to an end. 

It’s always been easier leaving your friends and family behind when you had Lucy waiting to come home to. You’ve had a hard time leaving them these past couple times though. It’s no surprise it’s coincided with your break up. 

“I’m sorry I’m not finishing out the season. I never wanted to leave you guys hanging.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Leah sighs, giving you her best smile. It still looks a little sad, but at least she’s trying. “We’ll definitely miss playing with you over here, but you’re going to kill it in Seattle.”

“I’ll miss you guys too. Don’t think the distance will stop me from being a gooner though.”

“Once a gooner,” she starts, smile growing just a bit sadder. 

You pull the younger girl in for a hug before either of you can start crying. If this is how your talk with Leah is going, you can’t imagine how many tears will be shed when you break the news to the rest of the team tomorrow.

Your time in England will have always given you the love of your life. All the happy moments and the sad, it all began and ended here. It all began and ended with Lucy. What happens from here on out, well that you’ll have to figure out for yourself.

---

Lucy’s always hated the early morning practices. 

She much rather wake up to your soft breaths puffing against her cheek, arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Her lips slightly curl up at the memory. She never told you, but she’s always loved the feeling of you sprawled on top of her, no matter what time of day it happens.

It feels like a dagger to the heart when she remembers why it’ll no longer be a thing. Why even when the season ends she won’t be able to go home to you.

Lucy heard about your move back to the states through the grapevines. 

When Jordan first told her that you were leaving Arsenal, Lucy couldn’t believe her ears. You were a diehard gooner, elated beyond words when you signed your contract with them. You had stuck by through the ups and downs of your career, even when your national team position was threatened by the mere fact that you weren’t playing in the states. Your love for the game, more specifically the soccer culture in England, made you stay strong in your refusal to leave. It all worked out in the end, but she remembers those nights you stayed awake, training harder to prove yourself from other contenders all those miles away.

Lucy always remembers you mentioning moving back to the states to end out your career, but you didn’t seem anywhere close to hanging up your boots. 

Jordan said something about you leaving before the season ended so you could catch the start of the NWSL, but by then, Lucy wasn’t listening. 

Like always, she finds herself staring down at your contact before practice starts. She always happens to find the abandoned message thread right after lacing up her boots. Just like the first time she pulled it up, there’s nothing typed out. There’s so much she wants to say, but she doesn’t know where to start.

Lucy knows that it’s nighttime in Seattle right now. She wonders if you’re sleeping alone, trying to forget the memory of her as she tries of you every night. The selfish part of her hopes that it also doesn’t work for you. 

She knows she has no right to wonder how you’re doing. She’s the one who broke things off. But late at night, when Lucy’s got nothing but the memories of the two of you to keep her company, she can’t help but imagine what it would be like for you to take her back. If you were to allow her to love you again. 

“Lucy!” Mapi’s voice, somewhere close in the locker room, jolts Lucy out of her thoughts. 

The corner of her lips drop when she notices the time. Quickly closing the messages app, Lucy tosses her phone into her bag. She rubs a tired hand up and down her face before shouting a quick “Coming!”

As she makes her way out of the locker room, there’s only one thing on her mind.

Maybe tomorrow will be different. 

Maybe tomorrow Lucy will finally come up with the nerves to tell you how much she misses you. To tell you how much she wished she didn’t let you go. 

She’s got nothing but her maybes, so until then, she’ll have to deal with her heart being half a world away.

[doyozen]

hola <3. can i request idolbf!haech feeling insecure, jealous and getting sulky bc he thinks, gn!reader is spending too much time w their male friend? and gn!reader makes it up to him w cuddles and assures him that he's the only one. love ur work <3

Hi lovely thank you for your request❤️ i hope you enjoye and thank YOU for loving my work ILY!!

idol!haechan x gn!reader

genre fluff

warnings haechan is a jealous boy </33

you were incredibly proud to say that lee donghyuck is the love of your life, although your relationship wasn’t perfect just like every other relationship in the world, the two of you hardly got into serious arguments and always found ways to talk clearly about your feelings.

haechan warned you that when you started dating, there was going to be times he was much too busy to spend time with you, and you understood that. you were fully aware that he’s an idol and is going to be busier than you liked, but you loved him enough to push through it and cheer him on.

it had started up again, nct 127 was preparing for a tour and your already very hard working boyfriend was pushing himself to his limit. you were worried, of course, but he insisted that he was strong enough and there was nothing to be concerned about.

“do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked, turning away from his gaming setup to plop next to you onto his bed. you instantly dropped your phone next to you to give him your full, undivided attention.

the bed dipped a bit when he got comfortable next to you, and you felt all of your stress and worries disappear with him being next to you and pulling you into him. “um, i think somin and myungsoo wanted to get lunch?”

his head perks up a bit, “myungsoo?”

“yeah, you met him, remember? at my birthday party a couple months ago?”

the boy thinks for a bit and then hums. “right, yeah, i remember.”

“we haven’t seen each other since the party, so it’ll be nice to catch up!” you continue, not thinking a single thing of it.

you hadn’t thought anything of it because the entirety you’ve been dating haechan, he had you believing he was not the jealous type, which was a big fat lie. of course you never really did much to make him jealous, not because you felt like you couldn’t have guy friends, you just didn’t have many friends in general. haechan tries to swallow the jealousy bubbling inside him because he didn’t want to seem like a crazy, overprotective boyfriend.

to his own surprise, he doesn’t think much of it the next day, he found himself getting over it over-night because at the end of the day, you chose him, and he chose you. he had no reason to be jealous.

“who’s this on y/n’s story?” mark asks him, pointing his phone in his groupmates direction to reveal a picture of the two friends and your lunch posted on your instagram story.

haechan sighs and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat dripping down his forehead, leaning in to get a good look at what mark was showing him.

fuck, he thinks, he’s attractive. why does mark know me so well? or… he thinks he does. i am NOT jealous. i’m their boyfriend. not him.

“what do you mean? that’s their friends, duh,” he says in a tone that made it seem like it was obvious, and it was. mark was just very used to seeing his best friend get jealous even over him having other friends. although it was secretly adorable, it was unlike him.

“right…” the older sings, not saying another word as the two of them got up to finish practice.

haechan calls you that night and even though it was quite late and you both were exhausted, you never went a day without talking on the phone. “hi, baby.” he greets, and your heart skips a beat at the pet name.

“hi,” you grin, “how was your day?”

“tiring,” he groans without hesitation, “taeyong hyung was being a little bitch—sorry, he’s a great leader but i absolutely hate when he puts on the strict leader act. it drives me crazy.”

you laugh at your boyfriends rants. “poor baby.”

“yes, feel bad for me. i have it so hard,” he sarcastically pours and you glare at him, making him raise his hands in defense. “sorryyyy. how was your day?”

“it was fine, i had fun with somin and myungsoo, and i had yummy food, but… i was thinking about you all day.”

haechan gasps and puts his hand to his heart, squeezing his eyes shut playfully. “y/n… cuteness overload. don’t do this to me.” he was so cheesy but it was so cute that you couldn’t help but laugh every single time.

the conversation goes on and he’s relieved that the day is over, because that means you’d never hang out with myungsoo ever again. or he was just telling himself that to feel better, because he would never ask you to stop hanging out with your friend when you didn’t even do anything wrong.

but then you do hang out with myungsoo… again. and again.

haechans becoming busier by the day and you miss him like crazy, you felt alone and isolated and so you try to out get of the house more to make yourself feel better, and convince yourself that you don’t have to depend on your boyfriend to have fun but it was just too damn hard. however, it doesn’t even cross his mind that you wanted to distract yourself from how much you miss him. he can’t stop thinking about how much time you’re spending with myungsoo.

his main concern was that you would tell him when you were hanging out with myungsoo, just not what you were doing together. he couldn’t help his clouded thoughts and started to get insecure over you and your attractive friend becoming closer. he wouldn’t have known that you never hung out with other guys alone unless it was in public, because he never bothered to ask.

“hiii,” you sing, “i miss you so much.”

“i miss you too,” he deadpans from the other side of the phone, and you feel your face drop.

“you okay?” you knew he wasn’t, you knew you had every right to be worried for his well-being, he should’ve listened to you when you told him to take care of his health first, you thought.

“i’m alright, just tired,” he says.

you nod to yourself, feeling bad that you can’t help him, but more feeling guilty for being upset that he wants to sleep more than he wants to talk to you. “oh, okay. go to sleep, babe. we’ll talk tomorrow.”

you wait for him to sleepily insist that he’s perfectly fine and he’d rather stay up all night talking to you, but he doesn’t this time. “okay, i love you. i’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

you stay silent for a second but respond. “goodnight.”

the phone hangs up and you immediately regret not telling him you love him back, you don’t even why you wouldn’t say it back, and now he’s going to sleep thinking you don’t love him. you panicked and couldn’t help but feel like it was something more than him being tired, but you couldn’t push or force it out of him.

the thought keeps you up at night and so the morning after, you text haechan good morning and tell him you were sorry for not saying i love you. you thought he probably hadn’t thought much of it and you were being dramatic, but he tells you it’s okay and that he understands if you were upset.

that’s when you take matters into your own hands and message one of the members.

you: mark

is haechan okay

mark: he seems fine to me

why?

you: hes been kind of distant lately

and not in the way that he’s busy with schedules and things like that, but it feels like there’s something he’s not telling me

i’m sorry i dont want to be that type of partner but im seriously worried for him

mark: oh y/n :( he hasnt said anything to me im really sorry

he hasnt even seemed off to me at all, like hes pretty normal at practice and rehearsal

well as normal as haechan gets

and don’t apologize thats really sweet of you hes lucky to have you seriously

you: oh okay

why is he distant to meeee im sad

but thank you anyways

mark: ofc!

you realize quickly after that you probably shouldn’t have done that, because mark telling you that he seemed completely normal in his presence made you feel even worse.

you hadn’t seen each other in a little over two weeks and you figured it may have just been getting really hard on him not seeing you, the same as it was for you not seeing him. you didn’t want to assume anything but you also didn’t want to believe that he could’ve been mad at you for something.

for the first time in a good week, you cancel your plans with myungsoo and take the day to prepare to surprise your boyfriend.

you didn’t tell him that you’d be at the dorms when he got home that night, and so you picked up a few of his favorite snacks and drinks and made yourself comfortable in his bed while you waited for his arrival. after about an hour of being alone in the dorm, you hear the front door open and your heart starts pounding.

you had no idea why you were nervous to see yor boyfriend at all, maybe because you were worried he really was mad at you and the plan would backfire.

still, you pretend to not be phased and look relaxed as his footsteps get closer, and soon enough his door swung open and there he stood. his eyes immediately lock with yours and you watch his blank expression change to surprise. every single negative thought leaves his mind at the sight of you, and you can visibly see the tension leave body as his shoulders drop in relief.

“hi,” you greet sweetly, standing from his bed and be drops his bag without a word and walks over to you.

haechan still says nothing when he wraps his arms around you, damp with sweat but you honestly couldn’t care less. you return the gesture and you comfortably hold each other in silence for a little while.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry,” you apologize once you pulled away.

“what’re you doing here?” he asks, disregarding your statement. not that he wasn’t happy to see you, just wasn’t prepared to face you after getting in his head about you and your hot friend.

“i was worried about you, and i miss you.”

his eyes become even softer, suddenly feel guilty and he drops his head. “i’m sorry.”

your furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “what for?”

“preparing for tour has been more difficult than i thought, and i’m exhausted, and you’re the only person who makes me feel sane and it’s so fucking hard when i can’t see you. i just miss you and… and, i don’t know. you have a really hot friend and it makes me sad because he’s hot. i wish he was ugly.” he rants.

you listen to him in full understanding at all his words, until he got to the last statement. “i get you, and i miss you too… but, are you—are you talking about myungsoo?”

“i know it’s stupid and trust me, i feel stupid but i don’t know…” he pouts, “you’ve been spending a lot of time with him…”

you know the situation was a very un-laughable situation, but you truly can’t help but chuckle at his mumbled words when talking about myungsoo. “haechan… myungsoo and i are just friends, i promise. i’ll stop hanging out with him if you want—“

“no, i know you’re just friends and i am not accusing you of anything,” he replies quickly, “i don’t want you to stop hanging out with him because of me. i just hate how attractive he is. i’m sorry. it’s stupid but i feel insecure for some reason.”

you nod, “i hear you, and it’s not stupid. i could’ve been better at reassuring you, but you’re my boyfriend… not him. i love you, not him. i don’t think i need to tell you that you’re hotter than him, your head is big enough.”

you smile when you manage to break a laugh out of him. “no, actually, it’s not. i need you to tell me how hot and sexy and awesome i am or i’ll cry.”

you playfully sigh and after he sits down on his bed, you crawl into his lap with your legs hanging over his and your arms wrapped around his neck. “lee haechan, you are the most attractive person i have and will ever lay my eyes on. you are so perfect inside and out, and i love you.”

he didn’t expect you to take it seriously as the two of you joked around way too much but he was pleasantly surprised with your response. he gives you a cocky smirk, but you can tell his heart was beating fast in his chest and his stomach was exploding in butterflies. “you promise?”

you nod as he hugs your waist tighter, “i promise.”

then he sighs loudly and falls back into his bed, taking you with him. “i’m so in love with you, it’s sick.”

“don’t ever get jealous again, i’m yours, and you’re mine,” you say, “and it’s only and always you—”

“y/n, please,” your boyfriend stops you, “my heart can’t take this.”

“and, there will never be a reason for you to be jealous or insecure.” you fight a laugh, watching him bury his face into your neck shyly. he wasn’t shy whatsoever, you just managed to make him flustered. it was basically a super power.

“now that i know this is what it takes to get you to compliment me, i’m gonna get jealous much more often,” he nods.

you gasp, slapping a hand on his chest which only earns you a laugh from him. “shut up! i compliment you all the time! don’t like you don’t watch your own fancams, either.”

“i knowwww, i’m kidding, i love you. thank you for giving me all the compliments in the world.”

you hum in satisfaction, “yes, of course. i love you so much.”

the boy leans over and equips you with a very sloppy kiss right on your cheek, to which you groan in disgust at the feeling of his saliva but smile lovingly. “i love you more.”

[lilyrizzy]

dystopia au? 👀

Here you go mate, sorry it's not very fleshed out oops

cw: dystopia au so general misery and pain that comes with that, and use of irl an girlfriend as a character that does not reflect my irl opinions of them!

It’s been eight months since Max last saw Daniel.

When it’s been this long, nights on end of going to sleep thinking about him and waking up from dreaming about him, but never seeing him, he worries how much of Daniel is in his head and how much can possibly be true.

On his worst days, he’ll wonder if he’s real at all, if he’s not some figment of Max’s overactive imagination, something created in desperation of a life barely worth living.

It’s happened before; drivers going mad.

It helps when he wedges his fingers down the side of his mattress and gets to run his fingertips across the worn and yellowed edge of the only picture he has of Daniel. To just feel it there. Taking it out is something that he does less, it hurts to see the blinding white of his teeth, shark-like and bared at the camera in a grin. Torn from an old Red Bull Racing programme, it’s not a real photograph. Not like one Max would take himself on a camera that nobody else would get to see.

Then always, the doubt will linger, because in the crowded rooms full of watchful eyes, it goes like-

“Hey good lookin’,” Daniel drawls with a smirk and something in his eye that Max knows better than to believe, but is exactly what Daniel is kept around for.

Max nods, and Daniel’s eyes bounce away from him, to Kelly, and then to the rest of the party. Kelly tugs him away before Max has a chance to say anything back. Not that he could, mouth bound shut. Not that he would know how to open it even without the muzzle, and not let something of the truth slip out. All the things he’d spent the last two hundred or more endless days imagining saying to Daniel.

Like, I missed you.

Max knows he doesn’t look good because that’s what Kelly's father wanted this time. For him to look skinnier at the start of the season, for his eyes to look sunken in. For it to look as though she has complete control over him, has ‘tamed,’ him, because the leash around his fucking neck is not enough. He’d heard the gasp when they first entered the room, when she paraded him right through the center of it.

They circle the party so that enough people see them together, another part of the show. The car Max will drive this season, which Daniel might get to drive a handful of times if he’s lucky, is spinning on a podium, lights beaming down so harshly that they make the paintwork glitter. It used to excite Max, when he had nothing else he cared about. Fingers itching to touch the body of it, one front wing enough to feed his family for a year if sold in the right place, not that it mattered once he’d made it. It was part of the deal of being a driver, that your family ate well.

Now, looking at it makes him tired.

He tries to both catch Daniel’s eye desperately, and to not look at him at all in varying intervals. Every time their eyes do meet, Daniel’s slide away as though there is nothing to see where Max stands, and Max tries to tell himself that it’s okay. That it is just because Daniel is just as good as playing the game as the FIA is. It’s always been Max who never got the rules.

You’re too fucking sweet, Daniel had panted over him once, holding Max’s hands down against the bed, above his head. Like it was a bad thing, dangerous. Something that might mean Max could hurt Daniel where not many people can anymore.

They make Max go on stage, and Kelly makes them let her lead him up there, too. He says some words about how grateful he is for the opportunity to drive for the FIA, that he hopes they can win another year to bring honour to Red Bull Racing, and when he looks for Daniel in the crowd, he can’t see him anywhere.

-

Alone, it goes like-

“Hey Maxy,” Daniel says, voice hardly above a whisper but so gentle that all of Max’s doubts gush from him, water rushing back from the shore into the sea.

He opens his arms as soon as the door to his compartment is shut behind Max, and stepping into them is like a blissful lobotomy, everything outside of the room wiped from memory.

For these stolen moments there is just the two of them, their touch moulding each other new again.

“Checo, I do not think he will be driving so well,” Max says later, sweat cooling on his back where he lies against Daniel’s chest. Ear pressed against it so he can hear the thump of his heart, slowing now they’re no longer desperately moving against one another.

It feels a little cruel to wish for that, Checo out, when they all know what happens when you leave the FIA for good. He isn’t Daniel, nobody will paying him for his time and keeping him around.

But Daniel only hums, fingertips tracing over Max’s back. Years ago, when they first started this, Max would concentrate in silence and try to work out if they were letters, a secret message. Now they just feel like random patterns.

“If he did, you could be back in the car all the time,” Max tries again, but still nothing. “This would be better, do you not think, if you could-“

“Maxy, baby, let’s- Let’s not, okay?” Daniel interrupts, sounding drained.

“But- But Daniel, then they wouldn’t-“

The FIA would still let people hire Daniel, if they wanted, but there’d be less hurt. It’s too hard to drive a car and perform well with broken ribs, with bruises on your tailbone. With- With worse.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want to think about racing,” Daniel sighs, and then he’s untangling himself from Max to sit upright, legs kicking round to dangle off the bed. For a moment, Max’s heart stops and he thinks desperately, please don’t go, we still have until morning, but then he sees that Daniel is just lighting a cigarette.

Then he’s getting back in beside Max, pulling him back close.

“I don’t want to think about racing,” he repeats, like he thinks Max will risk their time together fighting him on this.

“Well what do you want to talk about?” Max asks instead, looking up and watching Daniel inhale smoke through his lungs, then exhale it from his nostrils, plumes of it billowing from them like he is a dragon who could breathe fire.

Closing his eyes, Daniel sinks further into the pillows.

“Australia,” he says, and Max smiles.

This is a game Max knows how to play.

“I am almost done fixing the fence in the sheep’s pen,” he begins, tracing his own patterns on the skin of Daniel’s chest, connecting the bruises to mak constellations of pain. “I think I will just need your help to lift the gate back onto it’s hinges tomorrow morning.”

Daniel hums again, then says, “okay Maxy, but after I want to go to the beach. Think you’ll have time to make us some food to take down there, if we pack the blanket?”

Max nods, face pressed so close to Daniel’s chest his lips catch on his skin as he speaks.

“For you, I can make the time,” he promises, like it’s not one thing on a list of many that they never have enough of.

[daemour]

Pairing: Choi San x f!Reader

Genre: light angst, fluff, non-idol au, roommate!san, f2l

Word Count: 1818

Warnings: Cursing, an aggressive ex but it ends quickly

Summary: You’ve known San since the beginning of college and you’ve had a crush on him since your second year. But you’ve been obvious and he’s done nothing about it so all your hope is lost.

Happy Valentines Day! Thanks to @defwoodz​ for reading this through lol go check out Long Kiss Goodnight!

-

When you wake up, your back hurts. Of course it would, having fallen asleep at the coffee table while trying to finish an essay. The end of the semester is near so you’ve been working extra hard to complete everything you need to, but you’ve been wearing yourself thin. It doesn’t surprise you that you’ve fallen asleep at your laptop, but the blanket around your shoulders does surprise you.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Your roommate’s voice makes you spin around in your chair, definitely 100% awake now.

“Were you just sitting on the couch and watching me?” you ask, affronted, but all Choi San does is laugh and point at the muted TV playing an anime. “Oh. Sorry, I’ll go in my room so that you can put the volume up.” You shoot him a quick, apologetic smile, and escape to your room.

When the door is shut and locked and you’re sure he won’t come to ask you something, you immediately bury your face in your pillow and scream. You’ve had a crush on San since you shared a class with him in your sophomore year and because of your mutual friends. When he and you became flatmates your senior year your feelings only amplified.

You’re sure you’ve been so obvious that San must know and just chooses to ignore it because he doesn’t want to make things awkward.

But alas, being roommates and one of his best friends, avoiding him is not an option. The only peace you have from your blooming feelings is during exam season when both of you are far too tired and brain-dead to even say hi to each other most mornings.

Unfortunately, life is not in your favour and exam season has passed and all you have left to do is sulk about your unrequited crush on a boy who thinks of you as just someone who is his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend.

A knock on your room door startles you out of your funk and you sit up quickly. “Come in!”

San pokes his head around the door. “Hey, I’m going to run to the store down the street and grab some ramen. Do you want anything?”

“Mmh, can you get me some iced tea? I don’t care what flavour.” San nods and you roll off your bed. “Lemme give you some money for it, hang on.”

San shakes his head. “No need, it’s literally only 1000 won. Save that money for your next pack of gum that you chew on unhealthily much.” You throw one of your hats at him and he annoyingly catches it and puts it on, winks, and ducks away before you can throw another thing at him.

As soon as you hear the apartment door click you groan loudly and slam your head on the floor. You have absolutely no game so no matter how hard you try and flirt, it just doesn’t work. What the hell are you supposed to do now? Your best friend, Karina, has tried to get you to meet other people, but none of them were a good match. Her boyfriend Wooyoung (San’s best friend), has tried to hint to San himself, but to no avail.

In the end, all you do is get up off your floor and move back into the shared living space. As you’re getting a glass of water, you can hear a knock on the door and you laugh at the sound. San forgot his keys once again. It’s almost a weekly occurrence by now, and he’s lucky all your classes are in the morning.

“Man, you’re almost as forgetful as me,” you joke as you swing the door open but your words die in your throat. Standing in front of you is your ex, Jaebyeong, with a smile you never thought you had to see again on his face.

“Hey, (Y/N),” there’s a drawl to his words and you can smell a hint of alcohol on his breath. “It’s been a while.”

You grimace. “And there’s a reason for that. Why are you here?” You lean away from him but as drunk as he is, Jaebyeong doesn’t seem to notice and instead takes a shaky step forward.

“I missed you,” he says, his smile widening. “Why did you even leave me in the first place?”

You take another step back into your room, but that proves to be a mistake as he follows you forward. “You left me, remember Jaebyeong?” you ask under your breath. “You left me for Saeyeon.”

Jaebyeong waves his hand. “Ah, that was so long ago. Aren’t you over it? Don’t you like me anymore?”

He leans in as if to kiss you but in the corner of your vision, you see a hand land on his shoulder and pull Jaebyeong away so harshly that he almost slams into the doorframe. “Get away from her, asshole.”

San is standing there, plastic bags at his feet, and you’ve never been so excited to see him in your life, and that’s saying something. Jaebyeong looks your roommate up and down, and although your ex is almost a head taller, he notices the strength in San’s arms and the unbridled anger in his gaze and he turns and leaves without another word.

As he moves out of sight, San sighs and moves forward, grabbing your shoulders. “Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

You shake your head. “Yeah, he just…rattled me. I haven’t seen him in two years and now he decides to come crawling back?” You force out a laugh but it sounds fake even to San’s ears judging by the look he gives you. “Did you get my tea?”

It’s the saddest effort you’ve ever had to change the topic but San takes pity on you and drops it. “Yeah, is peach all right?” You nod and he goes back into the hallway to retrieve his groceries. “Go sit on the couch and relax. I’ll pop on a movie and we can have a roommates only movie night. No arguments.”

He fixes you with a look but to be honest, he didn’t really need to because you want to forget about that encounter, and you’d also love to spend more time with him anyways.

—

“(Y/N) I’m so happy for you!” Karina runs up to you, big eyes shining excitedly. “You and San are finally going out!”

“What?” You’re confused. At least three other people have congratulated you and Wooyoung winked at you just this morning so when Karina drops this huge bomb on you, you’re understandably a bit stressed out. “We’re not?”

“But Mina heard it from Jisoo, and Jisoo heard it from Irene, who heard it from Baekhyun who heard it from Mark who heard it from Jaebyeong. You’re with San!”

Your mouth drops open as it all comes together. “Oh, no, no, no,” you say quickly, shaking your head. “San and I are not together.” You explain the situation to her and Karina’s face falls.

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” she says, more miserable than you are right now. “You were so in love with him.”

“I am not!” you exclaim a little too loudly.

“You’re not? That’s too bad cus I was going to ask you out.” A familiar voice makes you freeze in your tracks and you slowly turn around to face Choi San himself, a smirk on his face.

“San! Heyyy,” you say slowly, drawing out the vowel, and Karina makes her quiet escape. “So about that…”

San steps closer and you take one, tiny, tiny step back. “So. About that,” he mimics and you groan and roll your eyes, unable to stop yourself from your usual banter. He giggles along but then becomes serious. “So you love me?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” you mumble out, twisting your fingers together, but one look from him and you crumble. “Okay, maybe I am in love but I think I did a good job of being subtle.”

From the laugh that comes out of San’s mouth, you realise that he, in fact, is not as oblivious as you thought but just didn’t do anything about it. “Subtle to who?” Your frown deepens.

“Okay, well, if you’re going to be a dick about it, I’d rather you just reject me so I can get on with life and find a new roommate,” you grump. “I’m not in the mood to get my heart broken so do it as gently as possible.”

San’s expression immediately becomes serious. “Wait, I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I don’t mean to make fun of you and I definitely don’t want your heart to break.”

Your face scrunches you and you have to will yourself not to cry. “Well then. I don’t know if I want to pretend this never happened cus I will inevitably get hurt.”

You’re just about to start sobbing and you really don’t want that to happen. You turn away and start to walk, but strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and San’s face appears in your peripheral vision. “No, I don’t want that either. What I’m trying to say…is that I love you too.”

You bite your lip. “If you’re joking I might have to kill you, San, and I don’t want that to happen.”

San can’t help but chuckle but soon buries his face in the crook of your neck. “I don’t want that to happen either. How else will I get to hold my favourite girl?”

You let a sigh escape and you slowly relax in his hold. “I’m your favourite?”

San laughs at how cute you look right now. “Mmh, who else would it be? I’ve loved you since you bumped into me four years ago.”

You slap his arm but butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words. “Why didn’t you do anything about it then?”

“Mmh, I kinda thought you were cute trying to be obvious but I was going to tell you before finals ended,” San teases and you can feel your face grow hot but the feelings you have for him only intensify after his confession.

“I love you” you can’t help but murmur to yourself.

“I love you too,” San hums back, turning you around so that he can look into your eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

You don’t speak in fear of not being intelligible and instead just nod. San smiles the biggest you’ve ever seen and his hands move from his shoulders to your face and you close your eyes in anticipation. And when his lips touch yours you swear you would’ve melted on the spot if his touch wasn’t grounding you.

“You loved me first,” you murmur against his lips, and you can’t help the smile from spreading across your face as you lean back for some air.

“And you loved me next,” San responds, pulling you back in with another kiss.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Sskk headcanons for you, my liege:

- Akutagawa visits Atsushi's ADA apartment, and is horrified that his jinko sleeps in a closet. He takes Atsushi mattress shopping, but blindfolds him first. That way, Atsushi can't see the price tags, and will be honest about his preferences.

- Atsushi makes homemade sweets for Akutagawa, because he knows Aku has a sweet tooth.

- They go on lots of festival dates, especially during the summer. Neither of them got to experience a normal teenage life, and it's a nice break from their insane jobs. Kouyou handmakes yukata for them, and Yosano does Atsushi's hair. Akutagawa is always awestruck at how pretty Atsushi is. They walk around for hours, playing games and eating festival food, holding hands. During the fireworks show, Atsushi sometimes falls asleep with his head on Akutagawa's shoulder.

- Being around Atsushi physically relaxes Akutagawa, because he knows (even subconsciously) that Atsushi will keep him safe. He sleeps best when he's laying next to his jinko (especially when Atsushi plays with his hair.) Bonus points if Atsushi is purring-- it'll put Akutagawa straight to sleep.

THANK YOU THESE WERE ALL AMAZING all your ideas are absolutely blessed and get instantly integrated in my canon belief system, I don't even know how you do it.

Atsushi sleeping in a closet as a concept only keeps delivering, and it's only made better when you add Akutagawa to the scene? Did he comment on how cats like to be in boxes. Did he make a “talk about being in the closet......... ” joke. But most importantly how did he find out? Was he visiting Atsushi's place for the first time and he sat down on the only bed there and the exchange happened “get off, that's Kyouka's bed” “What do you mean Kyouka's bed? Where the hell do you sleep?” “I sleep in the closet” “... You sleep in the closet.”. Never getting tired of the potential this has, and the concept of Akutagawa blindfolding him, I can't, that's too cute 😭😭😭 Like yeah that would definitely happen!!! Because Akutagawa is all about this kind of silent acts of care, and Atsushi would probably never allow him to buy something expensive for him knowing the price tag. This is all so cute.

And I'm ALL IN for Atsushi baking for Akutagawa that sounds like something he would definitely do!!!! The kind of domestic activity he never got the chance to do but that he really wants to catch up on now. Also Atsushi basically forcing Akutagawa to eat because Akutagawa can't say no to Atsushi. They're so cute they make me sick.

But yeah ultimately it's all about sskk exploring what it feels like to have a normal life and catching up on everything they've missed together, and it's so cute, it's one of my favorite things. They probably have a never-ending bucket list of all things they consider “normal” and slowly fill it together. They watch a lot of movies (especially for kids) and go to amusement parks together a lot and of course festival dates!!! Akutagawa always has his breath taken away by seeing Atsushi, but like, that's just Ryuunosuke Akutagawa for you. And the concept of Atsushi falling asleep on Akutagawa's shoulder 😭😭😭 Akutagawa probably going into internal combustion even though it's like the twelfth time that happened.

And I AM a firm believer Akutagawa can only really fall asleep with Atsushi like. That's the only thing that still keeps my sleepyhead-Akutagawa belief standing although he canonly only sleeps like four hours. He can only sleep with Atsushi because Atsushi is the only person who can make him feel safe! Also this

Thank you again for your blessed mind long live sskk

[lonelyskeletonflower]

Scar-crossed Lovers

my very first serious fanfiction, in English nonetheless lol. I wrote this last night after uni fueled by the power of hyperfixations (FOB's music) and the fact that I miss playing BG3 (I'm stuck + no time to play because of uni)

1,5k; spoilers for the end of the game. transmasc tav (they/them). based on FOB lyrics. hurt no comfort (okay a bit of comfort)

It was a rare, calm night, after a long, tiring day. The sky was clear, and the moon was big and comforting. The stars seem to shine brighter, lately, Astarion thought, as he lowered his gaze to look at the big wolf getting chased by Scratch around the camp. The big wolf, his druid boyfriend. He allowed a soft smile to form on his lips, knowing that the other companions were busy, except for Karlach, who was watching the wolf and the dog play with a delighted expression. Her presence next to him definitely wasn’t the reason why he felt so warm inside, despite his condition. No, that warmth in his chest and the exceptional brightness of the stars those nights were caused by his blooming feelings for Kieran, who had just sat next to him, panting, still in wolf form.

“Are you done playing for tonight, darling?” he asked, stretching his hand out to pet the wolf’s fluffy head. Kieran replied with a sweet canine smile, wagging their tail.

Sweet. Yes. Kieran was, indeed, quite sweet. And not just that; they were many things. Brave, for instance, always ready to face any danger on their path, and fierce in battle, and strong, and attractive, and compassionate, smart, sensitive, loyal, caring, good. Astarion hated how much of a good person they were, it was almost nauseating, at least when they first met. He knew people had taken advantage of their goodness their entire life, Kieran had told him about it with a pained smile on their pretty face, and yet the druid never really strayed from being good, from the desire to do good, to help people, even when they didn’t deserve it. That didn’t mean, though, that being used like that didn’t leave any emotional scars on their soft soul, and that was what made them strong. He hated and loved that at the same time. He loved Kieran, as reluctant as he was to admit it, even to himself. He’d never expected that, in the process of getting the druid to fall for him and win their protection, he would catch feelings for them, but there he was, in love with someone so infuriatingly good at heart.

He wasn’t the only one, of course, who felt something for the redhead. Kieran was so lovable and loving, they’d been with Karlach, and Wyll, and even Lae’zel couldn’t resist them, and he saw the way Shadowheart looked at them; Halsin, too, had let them know that they could drop by his tent anytime, and not just to talk about the Oak Father and other druid things. Nevertheless, Kieran longed for him. Astarion. The kind-hearted hero wanted to give their love to him, who was no hero and definitely not much of a good person. The fact that he refused to share them with anybody else, someone good like them, was certainly proof of his selfishness.

He petted the wolf some more, then wished Karlach good night and got up to go to his tent, followed by the wolf. They snuggled up together in Astarion’s bedroll.

“Could you stay like this, tonight?” asked Astarion. Kieran answered by wagging their tail.

It was much easier to be alone with his thoughts at night without seeing that sweet face in the dark. Even in the dark their goodness made them glow, a light as painful as the sun before the tadpole. But could he really live without light again?

“Dream sweet of me” he whispered, gently scratching the wolf between the ears. Kieran licked his cheek. Soon enough, they were softly snoring.

Astarion sighed. At first, he had thought they only desired his body, they were infatuated with that handsome face (he didn’t need to see his reflection to know that, because nothing could change his beauty… right?), just like his victims; but Kieran had shown him that they genuinely loved him for him, handsome face and nice body and perfect hair and scars and selfishness and dark past and being a vampire and- they loved everything about him, good and bad. They believed in his goodness, although he doubted there was any left in him, after everything Cazador had put him through.

He kept going back to that first night with the druid, after the party, how they went straight to his tent instead of spending the night with Karlach, or Lae’zel, or Halsin, and how they kept coming back, how they kept choosing him over everybody else. Kieran was pretty messed up, too, to love someone like him, even after knowing Astarion’s plan to seduce them so they would protect him. How did they manage to remain a sunbeam, since they were so messed up? That was a mystery. But it was only fair that two messed up people had ended up together. Maybe they deserved each other.

Maybe, he thought, cautiously, I could get used to this. To their love.

He pressed a kiss against his boyfriend’s head and buried his hands in their fur. Having Kieran sleep in his tent, whether in an animal form or in human form, made him feel safe. An unfamiliar feeling, but not an unpleasant one.

Yeah, I could really get used to this.

It was over. Cazador was dead. He had ascended. He was free. Free! He didn’t have to hide any longer. He didn’t have to live in fear anymore. He had power and everything he wanted – everything but one thing. The only thing that motivated him to find Cazador again and kill him: Kieran.

After Astarion had completed the ritual, he thought everything would be perfect: control, power, love, and no more fear. But Kieran had left him, saying that they thought they were more than a pet to Astarion. And they were so much more than a pet to him, they were the reason he finally felt alive after two hundred years. Weren’t they supposed to be aeterna amantes? And yet he couldn’t stop them from leaving.

He could live in the light again, forever, yet he preferred the darkness. There was no point in being in the light without his light. His sunbeam.

And suddenly, there they were. Kieran was there, right in front of him, in their human form. Astarion wanted to run to them, hug them, kiss every single one of their freckles, greet them with “hello, my sweet”. Instead, he waited for them to say something.

“Astarion” they said. Their eyes were filled with sadness. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah” he agreed. I miss you, he wanted to say. “What brings you here?”

Kieran opened their mouth to say something, then changed their mind and closed it again, only to clear their throat and finally speak.

“I wanted to talk.”

“Talk” Astarion smirked. “What about? Regretting your decision?”

The druid tortured their bottom lip with their teeth for a moment.

“I don’t regret it, seeing how you are now. Who you are” they replied, locking eyes with their former lover.

“I’ve always been like this. This is who I’ve always been. And you knew it.”

Kieran shook their head, red hair gently falling on their face.

“You’re not the person I knew. You’re not the man I fell in love with anymore” they said, calmly wiping away a solitary tear that rolled down their cheek. Astarion felt incredibly angry and incredibly sad at the same time.

“I don’t think he ever existed” he retorted, flatly. “You just wanted to see something that wasn’t there.”

The hero of Baldur’s Gate looked extremely dejected.

“I guess you’re right. I never learn my lesson, uh? I’m sorry.”

Astarion looked away, uncomfortable.

“I still think that hiding somewhere behind this image you’ve created for yourself there’s the Astarion I love” Kieran added, slowly. “I love you. I cannot be with you, but I do love you. And I’m yours ‘til the earth starts to crumble.”

The vampire laughed bitterly, choking on tears that he refused to cry.

“We’re scar-crossed lovers, forever” he said. “These scars we bear will always keep us apart, no matter how used to them we get.”

Kieran took one step closer. Astarion did too. Their lips met one last time. Their faces were wet.

“I thought you believed in having control over your life” whispered the druid, but they didn’t mean it. They knew their relationship was doomed.

“I thought you believed anything can be healed or fixed” whispered back Astarion, and he found himself meaning it.

“What happened to ‘scar-crossed lovers, forever’?”

“What happened to aeterna amantes?” Astarion smiled weakly, gently wiping away Kieran’s tears. “I’m struggling to exist with you… and without you, darling.”

It was the redhead’s time to laugh with desperation and a tiny bit of hope.

“Is this our fate? A relationship that will never work, but a love that will always bring us back to one another?” they asked, looking for Astarion’s eyes. In the darkness of the place, they glowed with love… and a tiny bit of hope.

“Oh, my sweet.”

They embraced each other, feeling finally safe and at home again, as the dawn of a new day brought a few soft rays of sun onto them.

[straightupsickfics]

best friends, ex-friends til the end | royjamie

(better off as lovers)

this is definitely something that i wrote to get out of my own head after thinking about it literally since the show ended.. but maybe someone else will enjoy a little (~2.1k words) sick jamie + reluctantly caring roy kent <3

Sicktember Prompt #2: “What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?”

Jamie really doesn’t think anything of it when most of the lads (...and Ted, Trent, Rebecca, and Higgins) are all out with some kind of mysterious cold throughout the early fall. He felt bad for them, yeah, course, offered to bring Colin and Isaac and Dani soup, even. But it didn’t occur to him that he should be, like, “worried about germs,” or whatever. 

Jamie Tartt never gets sick. 

Like, ever. 

He has an unbeatable immune system, and, according to his mum, he always has. Not that any of his ill teammates seem particularly interested in hearing about that particular fact when he shares it on one of his soup drop offs. Isaac had actually told him to “fuck off outta here with that gloating,” while Colin cough-laughed beside him. 

Well, fine. Jamie knows when he isn’t wanted. He leaves, confident they’d be fine in a few days, no doubt thanks to the soup he’d left them. Then, they can all make their way back to normal on the pitch. The whole dynamic’s been off for weeks with everyone being taken out one by one by this thing, and Jamie’s getting sick of it. He needs everyone there to really dominate the way he’s used to, even if it means he has be “a bit of a fucking prick about it.” (Roy’s words). 

It turns out, all of that ass crack of dawn training is paying off after all. Like, really paying off — Jamie is better and faster than ever now, all thanks to his supreme commitment to the game, and his unmatched talent. 

And Roy’s training. 

Okay, mostly Roy’s training, but he wouldn’t be admitting that much out loud without more than a few pints in him. And since Roy isn’t letting him drink at the moment, Jamie figures he’s in the clear. 

So, yeah, Jamie Tartt’s life is fucking mint as of late. 

Now, leaving Isaac and Colin’s, he looks down at his phone and finds a message from Roy himself, think of the devil. 

Granddad: McAdoo just said you’d been by… WTF are you thinking?? You want to lose a week with whatever fucking bubonic plague’s going around the club???

Jamie: Christ, do you get tired of yelling at me, old man? It’s FINE. Jamie Tartt don’t CATCH the plague 

Granddad: 🙄 If you say so, but don’t come crying to me when you’re laid up in bed you absolute muppet. Get some sleep, I’ll see you at 4:00 AM. 

Jamie: Be there with bells on ♥️

*

The next few days go by in a blur of training, post-training FIFA with Roy, and sleep. He’s been feeling knocked on his ass every night this week, overtired and exhausted in a way he usually isn’t, thanks to Roy’s brutal workout regime, but he can hardly complain with the way he’s been playing. He’s been getting home late most nights, too, always a little reluctant to leave Roy’s and go home to his own empty flat. 

It’s not like Roy seems to mind either, though. He’s been making them dinners almost every night, after all. Or, well, he makes dinner and sets out two plates and doesn’t tell Jamie to get lost, which is basically the same thing, right? It’s nice, having some company. Having Roy for company, has become something he never knew he needed. 

Or maybe he just never let himself even think about asking for it. 

After one such night, Jamie showers and climbs into his bed (empty, always empty, these days, something a former version of himself would never believe let alone enjoy). He thinks about Roy. Thinks, tiredly, how nice it might be if Roy were here now, and then shakes the thought away. Since when does he think about Roy Kent in bed? 

(Since always, he’s had a poster of him over his bed since he was thirteen.) 

Thoughts of Roy are replaced with thoughts about water. His throat’s been dry all day, and a glass of water sounds killer right now, but Jamie’s asleep before he can do anything about it. 

*

Jamie wakes up to something jackhammering. 

No, not jackhammering. It’s his phone, vibrating on his nightstand. 

Fuck, why is it so loud? He pulls himself up to look at it, but he feels like he’s been him by a ton of bricks. Bad idea. He feels like utter shite if he’s honest, like he got hit by a truck in his sleep. His head’s pounding, for one thing, he can’t even think straight, and the dry, scratchy throat from last night has grown into a monster of a sore throat. Plus, he feels sweaty all over. 

Shit.

Roy was going to kill him. 

Shit. Roy. Their training. It’s that thought that gets Jamie into an upright position, at least enough so that he can grab his phone before laying back down with it. There are five missed calls from Granddad, and a handful of texts and other notifications that Jamie ignores for now. 

Somewhere in his scrolling, it hits Jamie that the sun is coming in through his window. It’s almost 8:00 in the morning, and he’s completely missed their training. He’d slept through his alarm, missing the training with Roy, and, judging by how entirely fucked he feels, would likely miss the team training today, too. 

Jamie swallows and winces. His throat feels like he’s swallowing burning knives, but he calls Roy back anyway. 

Roy answers on the first ring, and by some act of Jesus Christ himself, doesn’t sound pissed off. 

“What the fuck, Tartt, are you alright” 

No, he definitely doesn’t sound mad, he sounds… concerned. 

“Mm? Yeah, grand.” Jamie tries to sound relaxed, but his voice sounds awful, hoarse and gravelly and blurred with congestion. 

“Fuuuuck,” is all Roy says for a minute. Then: “Let me in, I’m outside.” 

*

“So, what happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?” Roy says when Jamie finally makes his way to the front door and lets him in. 

Jamie tries to roll his eyes, but even that hurts his head. “First time for everything, yeah? What’re you doin’ here?” 

“You didn’t show up for almost four hours!” Roy explodes. “You weren’t answering your phone, no one had heard from you, I was—” Roy stops himself, looking at Jamie and then away, suddenly finding the cars in the driveway extremely interesting. 

“Aw, you were worried about me,” Jamie supplies. It would be much better if he could actually enjoy this moment, but as it is he feels like he could collapse at any moment, so he holds onto the cool granite of his kitchen island. 

“Fuck off,” Roy growls. 

“You came to me in me hour of need,” Jamie says, then turns to the side and coughs, ruining the moment. 

“To be fair I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere, had to make sure I didn’t need to see about finding a replacement.” 

“I’m irreplaceable, hello? There’s no replacing an icon.” Not that he feels like much of an icon now, with his nose starting to run and an annoying itch starting to form somewhere behind his sinuses. He scrubs a hand over his face, wishing Roy was here in his flat on literally any other morning. 

“Muppet,” Roy says, shaking his head and studying him in a way that always makes Jamie feel all squirmy inside. 

“S-shit, gimme me a second,” Jamie says, breath catching as he turns away and sneezes four times in quick succession. “Hh’itsh! Hpt-ISH! Uh-hu’ishhiew! IshhIEW!” 

“Were those sneezes? Y’sound like Phoebe’s cat when she sneezes.” 

Jamie just groans, turns around, and flops onto the couch. He doesn’t even have the energy to argue with Roy, and he loves arguing with Roy. 

“Bless you, by the way,” Roy says, voice just marginally softer as he follows Jamie to the living room. 

“Sorry I missed training,” Jamie says, voice half lost to the pillow he’s currently trying to disappear into. “Y’can find a new way to punish me for it next week, m’sure.” 

Roy’s quiet for a minute. “Think you get a pass. Team spirit, lookin’ out for the lads when they needed it and all.” 

Jamie lifts his head up, arches an eyebrow. “Thought you said don’t come cryin’ to ya?”

“I came to you, didn’t I?” 

“‘Cause you were worried about me,” Jamie says, smiling despite how bad, well, everything feels just now. 

Roy’s here. Jamie’s flat feels warmer with another person here, which helps, since he’s freezing on top of everything else. 

“Do you have any tea in this place?” Is all Roy says in reply. He’s already back in the kitchen, navigating around Jamie’s cupboards like he lives there, and Jamie’s thinking how nice it all is when he falls asleep again, right there on the couch. 

*

When he wakes up again, Roy is still there, Jamie’s feet in his lap, and it’s much later in the day, he can tell immediately. He must be so sick he’s hallucinating, because there’s no way Roy Kent came over to watch him sleep, covered him with a blanket, and is watching You’ve Got Mail on his TV. 

“Ah, you’re alive. I was starting to think I should call someone,” Roy says when Jamie stirs. “You look like shit. Take that,” Roy continues, pointing to a bottle of something and a glass of water on the coffee table. 

Jamie feels, impossibly, worse than he had this morning, his head feels like it weighs about a million pounds. He doesn’t argue, just swallows the medicine and water and grimaces at Roy.

“Didn’t have to stay here,” Jamie says. His voice is wrecked. 

“Fuck, you sound fucking awful,” Roy says, his hand on Jamie’s ankle — how long had that been there? He moves his thumb up and back absentmindedly, and suddenly it’s all Jamie can focus on. 

What is happening?

“Well, never drank that tea you were on about earlier,” Jamie says.

Roy nods. “Never do want to listen to me,” he says, but his voice is different now, softer. Kinder. Fonder.

“Took the liberty of ordering a takeaway, should be here soon. Soup for you,” Roy says. His hand is still there, warm on Jamie’s ankle. 

“huh-IItshh! IishhIEW!” The sneezes catch Jamie completely off guard, shivering out of him before he can do anything but lean into it. “Sorry,” he mutters, sniffling. He looks pathetic, he knows that, and he’s torn between elation that Roy’s here and complete humiliation. “You’ll be down with this next,” he warns.

“Bless you. Y’really do sneeze like a cat, Tartt.” 

Jamie’s laugh turns into another coughing fit, and when Roy leans up to rub his back, he decides that happiness wins out over embarrassment. 

They’re side by side now, closer than they’d usually sit for FIFA, though not by much. They’d been getting closer in just about every way these last few months, and Jamie realizes he’d like nothing more than to lean into it. Let Roy deal with all of it in that growly, take-charge way he has about everything else. He’d feel better soon if Roy said so, right? 

“Food should be here soon, if you want to close your eyes for a few more minutes. This prick hasn’t put Meg Ryan out of business yet, so…” Roy trails off, eyes trained on the screen rather than Jamie, who nods. His eyes and head are still so heavy. 

Daring a look at Roy out of the corner of his eye, Jamie lets his head rest on his shoulder, sniffling into the soft fabric of Roy’s ubiquitous black t-shirt and yawning. He could get used to this, if he let himself. Whatever this is…

“You’re thinking really fucking loudly,” Roy says, voice impossibly close to his ear. He doesn’t sound mad about it, though, more like amused. Jamie’s still half convinced he’s dreaming this entire day. Jamie Tartt doesn’t get sick, for one thing, and Roy Kent doesn’t play nurse with his players. “Close your eyes.”

“Fine, but only to stop your yelling, Granddad,” Jamie says with another yawn. He doesn’t lift his head from Roy’s shoulder, and Roy doesn’t say anything else, just turns his attention back to the movie.

Jamie’s ninety-nine percent asleep when he feels it, the faintest, softest brush of lips against his sweaty forehead. 

Maybe this is something after all. 

Maybe Roy Kent does play nurse when it matters. 

And maybe Jamie Tartt does get sick, though he decides then and there that it’s not too bad if this is what he gets in return. Pretty fucking mint, in fact. 

[myfairkatiecat]

Every line of “anti-hero” Taylor Swift applies to at least one Hawthorne.

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

Jameson, in every sense of these lyrics. He’s always up at night doing whatever he needs to do to not think about whatever it is he needs to avoid. He chases as much adrenaline as he needs to not feel terrible.

When my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people

I’ve ghosted stand there in the room

Grayson and Nash (Grayson bc he’s distant and Nash bc he’s avoidant)

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

Jameson, all the way. Also it’s possible that Xander feels this way, even though we all find his scheming quite endearing as he doesn’t seem as bent on self-destruction as Jameson

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving

Cause you got tired of my scheming (for the last time)

Grayson and Jameson bc Emily gave them issues

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me

At tea time everybody agrees

For Jameson this could be interpreted as him feeling like he’s seen as too “ordinary” by his grandfather compared to his brothers but also knowing full well the disapproval he gets for the things he does to NOT be ordinary.

For Grayson, it could mean that he knows he has to be better than all of his siblings bc everyone knows he’s inheriting it all one day (ha.) and feels like he never lives up to it.

For Nash this looks like being the one brother who was never as involved in their grandfathers games as his brothers and always was a little more distant for the family. While he WANTS to be distant, he probably feels very confronted every time he catches sight of his relatives, even if they aren’t thinking about it that way.

For Xander, this probably refers to how he’s the youngest and least serious of his brothers and probably felt inferior as a child despite the fact that he’s the smartest of all the Hawthorne brothers

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Hm which Hawthorne brother will do literally anything except confront themselves and their own actions? Which Hawthorne would stare directly at the sun, but never really look at themselves? EVERY SINGLE ONE. It looks different for all of them—for Nash, it’s pretending his last name isn’t Hawthorne; for Grayson, it’s burying himself in pressure and stress and work; for Jameson, it’s living 2000 miles an hour; for Xander, who actually probably has less issues with this (he seems introspective to me), it’s always creating other things that do things and never really noticing himself doing things. I could even get into talking about Skye and Zara here if I wanted.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I’m a monster on the hill

To big to hang out slowly lurching towards your favorite city

Pierced through the heart but never killed

So, all four of them being extremely attractive means this can’t be taken the way it’s meant, but I imagine Nash probably has weird feelings about all his little siblings being around the same age and having all these shared experiences he is less familiar with.

Do you hear the covert narcissism disguised as altruism

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

Grayson, all the way. Especially after reading The Brothers Hawthorne. It’s part of what I love about his character. His internal monologue is “look at me being manipulative and asserting my power over everyone else” even when what he’s doing is perfectly fair (and sometimes when it absolutely isn’t). It’s almost like at some point, he was raised to take over his father’s business of being a billionaire who plays dirty and never learned any other way to be, and kind of hates that about himself.

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving

And life will lose all it’s meaning (for the last time)

Still Grayson and Jameson and still bc they have Emily Issues, but this version of the lyrics is how they would feel about losing Avery. Not, “she left bc she got tired of me” but “she’s gone and now everything is back to how it was when nothing meant anything”

(Chorus is the same)

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers round and reads it and then someone screams out

“She’s laughing up at us from hell”

I actually forgot this verse existed when I started making this post. But. This verse belongs to Tobias Hawthorne I. Duh. I guess this fits even better than I thought it did 😂 this is LITERALLY the plot of The Inheritance Games

I rest my case, “Anti-Hero” is the Hawthorne family anthem. Someone get all these boys therapy and happy endings 😭