#but like I said. he clearly put a lot of thought into the math for the mechanics | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kbandtrash · 11 months ago

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Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)

~Rachel~

@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help

Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.

Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with

Word Count: 11.5k

Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?

He asks himself this question every day as well

If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option

But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up

And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him

Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?

Yeah sure

But this year he had another reason to stay

See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire

He fell in love

Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you

In fact your credentials as a math teacher

The places you had taught before

Your praxis exam scores

Your recommendation letters

The professional development programs you were a part of

Test scores from your previous classes

The way you understood math

And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class

All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed

But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague

On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders

Which they would be taking next Friday

Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway

You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence

You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave

He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears

You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red

“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you

“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”

Buy lunch he thought

That sounded like an excellent idea

He should buy you lunch

He didn’t say that though

“Works for me. How was your weekend?”

And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty

At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks

“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”

His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing

How could you be so graceful and polite?

And your hands were so pretty wow

“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”

He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning

But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom

And boy he could have lived in your handwriting

The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality

And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie

He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point

Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you

There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)

Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally

This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you

“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”

“Ooh good question”

You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things

There were students present after all

“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking

He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose

“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”

“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”

Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice

It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher

“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”

And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave

Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”

There were students around there were students around

“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”

He scribbled the number down on the copy request form

“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”

He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class

Which you returned

And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year

You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with

He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short

But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier

Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:

“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”

Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student

“Yeah…why”

“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”

Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement

“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed

And then from the back corner

One of the notorious trouble makers stood up

Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again

And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”

There was no longer any hope for this class

Exponent rules? Down the drain

Hongjoong was now a laughingstock

Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds

So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank

It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other

Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer

“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker

Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly

Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird

But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff

Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing

BUT SECONDLY

What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you

While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them

If they ever brought it up again

Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?

You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you

The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer

Yep

Good explanation Mr. Kim

Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation

They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact

And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean

Except you actually

You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention

You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about

So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless

So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task

You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers

And you didn’t want to know

So you stayed blissfully ignorant

While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it

Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge

Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right

But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day

And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent

And he knew

They were talking about him

Yeah he should take a high school position next year

Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other

“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”

Hongjoong gave them a look

“Adorable?”

“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”

“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”

“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover

“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect

Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues

“And then you know what she said back?”

Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together

His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter

“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The other teachers could not hold it back anymore

The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar

(Plus the extra one he bought for you)

So he made his way swiftly back towards the door

“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him

“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply

“No come on you have to hear this”

Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers

He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time

“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out

Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral

But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway

“Great yes and after Christmas break?”

The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms

“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully

“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked

“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin

The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals

Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation

But no

“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”

Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough

Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month

But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you

So he made a detour

But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered

He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly

Maybe you went out to lunch today?

Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message

He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine

Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside

And you were in there actually

Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands

Oh no

Hongjoong had been there before

Every teacher had been there before

The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe

Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day

And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days

Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes

The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not

You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make

Did he let you have this moment to yourself?

Or did he try to help you through it?

He closed the door as softly as he could

And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself

Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through

“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers

You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously

But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss

“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied

He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on

“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer

“Oh, you know,” you sighed

He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act

“That good, huh?”

You laughed in return

“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”

Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”

“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”

“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”

Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?

Yes

He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes

But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat

He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face

But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day

Professional development day

Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day

The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention

Then it was lunch time

And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much

The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much

Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there

This year was no exception to all of this

But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it

For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups

And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time

Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck

Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it

The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies

As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?”

And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh

Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???

“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds

And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried

You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped

You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer

(It was)

“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried

He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice

She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face

“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked

He nodded awkwardly

“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked

“Yes?” you answered

She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder

“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else

You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up

Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye

But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments

The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him

And he had been spotted that easily

After that was administration-provided snack time

Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff

And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light

Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly

Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out

But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught

Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind

Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you

He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off

But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed

Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer

They were in this group with you two

The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom

And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what

Chat bots are notoriously bad at math

Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application

And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either

So he decided flirting with you was more fun

Just to make Hongjoong mad

But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:

Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table

(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)

(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)

Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well

So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then

San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number

Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind

But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop

So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad

The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off

The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment

Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups

So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out

You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you

(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)

There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share

And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time

And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them

So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder

Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching

To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers

Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought

He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then

He was going to live in the moment

And perhaps thank the principal later

After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion

It was finally ~lunch time~

The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to

And no one could agree

Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing

Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said

Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too

Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless

And then the department head said the following fateful words:

“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us

Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup

The department head probably had money on Before Christmas

But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers

“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything

Then you turned to him

“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”

“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot

You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school

He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back

He was gonna buy you lunch

And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch

It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date

Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school

It was special to him to go somewhere with just you

That wasn’t school

Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay

You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that

But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you

“But I wanted to” he replied

You accepted that

“It’s on me next time” you promised

And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete

Except if he died then there would be no next time

But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again

You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future

Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself

When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them

And that was a magical moment of peace too

Just the two of you

No one around to tease Hongjoong

He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you

Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant

So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier

It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves

And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it

Even though it was embarrassing

Well as fun as professional development day ended up being

Parent teacher conferences were not

Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans

Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other

And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents

And when the night was wrapping up

And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark

And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great

But no

None of that could happen

Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year

The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes

What a joke

They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester

But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences

Of course

Was the one time they had to switch it up

The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together

Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung

Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong

In all lowercase:

“hey loverboy u see this crap

math teacher romancephobic fr smh”

And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom

This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails

He did not reply to it

San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last

Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences

Which of course left everyone grading like crazy

And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before

And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick

So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash

Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade

And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon

What a time this was going to be

So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom

Predictably you were grading tests

He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk

“Which tests are you working on?” he asked

“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading

“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”

Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper

“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips

He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests

(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)

(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)

“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”

And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke

Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way

Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you

So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks

As well as his pile of late work

He tried to protest but no no

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”

“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead

“Then what was the point?”

I love you that’s the point

But what was the point actually

What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away

“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”

You brandished his late work stack again

“So I’m going to do something nice too”

Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again

For him at this point it was you or nothing

But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long

He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it

Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing

He wouldn’t give up the something he still had

He was like a curve approaching an asymptote

He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you

After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together

This did go faster with music by the way

And then you picked up his classroom together

And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish

The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner

Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story

He would have to suggest it himself

A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults

Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it

Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things

This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date

He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together

But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling

You got to your car and no tummy rumbling

You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling

“Wait!!!”

He could have slapped his own mouth

You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car

“Hmm?”

“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought

“Wanna what?” you asked

Big boy pants Hongjoong come on

“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out

He must not have seen your face light up in the dark

“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds

“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted

He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions

But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant

And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t

It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends

Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling

And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you

He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else

And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them

He knew he was the opposite of subtle

But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable

Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature

Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this

The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two

And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again

But you beat him to it

You were already prepared with your card and everything

“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin

He shook his head

“You don’t owe me anything”

“Well then next time it’s on you”

Hongjoong started to smile again

“Next time?”

“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”

“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”

You laughed at that

“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”

And things just kind of continued like that for a while

Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life

Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time

Or not even at school, just away from home

He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing

He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that

Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time

(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)

But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again

It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with

He had also found new friends in an unlikely place

The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly

But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast

Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings

And honestly it was such a blast

An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:

Other teachers often do not count as other adults

Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations

But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation

There were some eighth graders that all four of you had

Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class

Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?

Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do

Or what they’re like in other classes

(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)

Who they’re friends with outside of your class

Or crushes they have on each other

Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too

It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside

So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out

It was almost like a little Friendsgiving

“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda

You immediately scoffed

“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”

Hongjoong was surprised

Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior

He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much

Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised

“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”

“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”

Your eye might have twitched a little bit

You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest

Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you

“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”

Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth

“You’re joking”

“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”

Wooyoung smiled devilishly

“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”

San shook his head

“Teenagers” he sighed

Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said

“Teenagers.”

After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up

“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”

The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”

“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said

“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed

“Super athletic too” San added

“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”

Hongjoong smiled

Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved

Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening

They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff

The kids were also more riled up about it than usual

To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose

It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things

As in the easiest math ever

So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures

At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard

“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile

That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students

“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”

A chorus of protest arose

“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”

About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly

“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”

And then immediately from the back of the room

“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”

And chorus of “Ooooooh”

Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word

Just that same teacherly smile

Another round of protest came and he drew another one

After the third tally mark, they shut up

“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”

Once again I will say it was November

And the month after November is December

And December is the month of Christmas

Not just Christmas break

But Christmas itself

And that meant that Hongjoong now

After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break

Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present

Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind

It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first

Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful

He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come

And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you

Something for your classroom?

Something for your home?

A cute accessory?

A fun math shirt?

Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal

Nothing seemed good enough for you

If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient

Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December

(If not spent pestering you)

He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands

And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred

The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars

And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable

Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough

Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall

So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity

He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets

In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color

And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway

Then he brought it for you the next day

You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric

And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello

He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually

He set the present on your desk

“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin

Your curiosity was suddenly piqued

You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds

But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up

And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried

“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”

“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”

What a beautiful suggestion

The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets

But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater

“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”

“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”

Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you

But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders

He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket

You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own

And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you

Was this a dream??

He would not be happy if his alarm rang

But no it was real and he happily obliged

You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again

Just like at the professional development workshop

Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe

The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again

But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice

After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven

Your time was unfortunately cut short

Not by students arriving to school

But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom

“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”

He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly

She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter

“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”

Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say

So his last comment went ignored

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”

“No it’s okay I’ll go with you”

Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here

Hongjoong did not

Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?

While Wooyoung saw the truth

You just wanted the excuse to walk with him

Now Wooyoung had two choices

He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along

Or he could third wheel

And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?

Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another

And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes

So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor

“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”

“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer

You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about

“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave

You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up

As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please

Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle

And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning

Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go

Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time

But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime

The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense

And before everyone knew it

Christmas break was upon you

And there was no further progression of the math department couple

The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started

But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere

Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day

(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)

Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it

Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left

Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line

And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it

But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break

A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom

You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home

“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked

He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut

Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?

“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”

“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”

Hongjoong froze

The principal had visited you too?

Why?

For what purpose?

Betting purposes?

This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?

“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage

(He tried)

(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)

(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)

“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”

Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly

“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”

“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”

If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked

Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you

“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”

You smiled and his stomach did a flip

He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that

He hoped not

“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”

Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?

Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now

To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”

Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay

Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”

Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns

And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you

And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together

But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice

He had no idea

All of his pants were teacher pants

His shirts? All teacher shirts

He was way too good at dressing for his job

So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?

He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up

He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy

In the end he decided his hair was the only issue

He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion

And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option

So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher

So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay

You looked perfect of course

The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference

Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it

Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong

You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why

Like you almost seemed nervous

What for? It was just him

You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket

“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”

You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food

“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”

And you pulled a little package out of your bag

Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him

You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”

(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)

And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break

As for his silly little gifts you adored them

You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud

He could not have been happier with himself

And then you caught him staring at you

You paused in your excited little ramblings

He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next

But you smiled and looked down at your plate

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second

In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking

“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”

Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say

But you deserved to know it

Not just cute but beautiful

Heartstoppingly so

You took the compliment well anyway

“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off

You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious

“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand

“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked

“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”

“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”

You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before

“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”

Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now

But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud

“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly

You blinked like you didn’t believe him

“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”

And then he realized

You literally had no idea about him

Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger

Except you

“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”

“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”

Embarrassment began to set in for both of you

“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”

“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face

“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”

You buried your face further in your hands

“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”

“I’ll help you” he promised

You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you

But you asked them not to tell the kids

Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it

Speaking of the bets

No one won any of them technically

The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses

And since you confessed during Christmas break well

As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money

(Especially on those teacher salaries)

You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down

And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed

The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you

But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway

You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong

And it was really funny actually

Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you

Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway

Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom

This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote

And you about died from laughter and embarrassment

Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??

It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom

Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed

He still treated you almost exactly the same way

Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher

And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket

You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare

Because firstly unprofessional

A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not

And secondly what if the kids saw you???

The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults

But the kids???

There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation

The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild

“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”

“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”

“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”

You had prepared for this together

You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause

So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding

So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible

“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”

It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it

Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene

The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded

He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was

But on closer inspection it was a pickup line

“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”

So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key

Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note

“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”

Oh that one was bad

You had to give him something worse

“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”

You handed him that one in between classes

And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at

His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally

128√e980

You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway

“I love you”

So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”

You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”

Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity

But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted

Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”

Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came

Much like Hongjoong himself actually

Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)

First you distributed the 2 on the right

2x+6i<2x+18u

Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them

6i<18u

Then divide by 6

And the answer made you smile every time

i<3u

(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)

Masterlist

#ateez #hongjoong #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #atz #atz x reader #kim hongjoong

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therealcocoshady · 8 months ago

Text

"Because I fucking love you !"

Author's Note : Here is the argument OS we talked about ! I hope you liked it. I think that's the more smut I have ever written (save for one that was deleted when my phone was stolen...). It's not really filthy or hardcore but I did my best. Let me know what you think ❤️

TW : Smut

You were leaning against the wall, arms crossed, while your boyfriend of four months was standing in on your doorstep, nervously scratching his beard. You were absolutely dying to hear the excuse he would come up with, to try and explain why you waited for two fucking hours at a restaurant, for a man who never showed up. He had let you down in the past, cancelled plans at the last minute but this humiliation was new. And this time, you had enough.

Two hours, Marshall. I waited for you for two hours, you reminded him.

I know, I’m sorry, he said sheepishly.

Well, two hours is only the time I spent waiting for you in the restaurant, you corrected. Because it took you two more hours to call me after I went home. So, really, that’s four.

I can do the math, Y/N, he sighed. I don’t suck that much with numbers.

Speaking of which… You sure seemed to have lost my number, you pointed out.

I wasn’t getting any service, he replied.

Whatever, you said. That’ll teach me.

Teach you what ?

Not to waste my time on men who clearly don’t care about me.

The both of you stayed silent for a couple of seconds. It was time to address the elephant in the room : he clearly wasn’t that into you. The past four months had been great, overall, and Marshall was a great guy, but you were tired of cancelled plans, of going days on end without so much as a text… and waiting, all dolled up, in a crowded restaurant with waiters feeling sorry for you was the last straw. Plus, it was always you making efforts to accommodate his busy schedule, never the other way around. You liked him, a lot - hell, you were in love with the man - but you knew you had to do yourself a favor and put an end to it. You had been there, done that, spending time on people who wouldn’t do the same for you and you weren’t about to make the same mistakes. It was a shame, though, because if you put aside Marshall’s shitty schedule and time management, he was one of the greatest men you had ever dated. Funny, kind, compassionate, thoughtful. He even gave you his undivided attention. If only said attention wasn’t so hard to get…

You think I don’t care about you ? Marshall asked with a confused look on his face.

You clearly don’t, you scoffed.

Really ? I clearly don’t ?! he asked as he crossed his arms in a defensive stance.

In the past two weeks, you have cancelled one date, bailed on me for a second one and barely texted me, Marshall, you sighed.

Because I’m busy ! He exclaimed. I am fucking drowning in work ! Do you have an idea what my fucking schedule looks like ?! I have meetings, trips, studio sessions… I’m busy trying to finish my album !

And you don’t think I’m busy ? You asked with a raised eyebrow. I work too ! I have a busy schedule and, yet, I have never bailed on you, have I ? And I respond to your texts ! So you don’t get to play the « I’m busy » card. I don’t have time for your shitty excuses !

Look, I’m sorry I bailed on you, but-

No but ! You almost shouted. I’m sick of excuses. I don’t deserve this. I’m sick of waiting for you to call me whenever you want to hook up or whatever it is you’re even capable of !

You think that’s all I want ?! To hook up with you ?! He yelled. If I wanted a hook up, I have a thousand groupies to choose from, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to apologize at 1AM on your doorstep !

Why don’t you go and pick a groupie for the night then ?!

Because you’re the one I want ! He almost screamed.

Because I’m probably the only one who’s dumb enough to put up with you, you scoffed.

Because I fucking love you, Y/N, he shouted.

You were ready to enter a shouting match with him but this impromptu declaration stopped you in your tracks. You looked at him, flabbergasted. He was red in the face, almost panting from the yelling.

Y-you… what ? You asked.

I… fuck. I wasn’t planning on telling you like this, he groaned.

But… you do ?

Of course I do, he nearly scoffed.

Say it again, you asked.

He chuckled and took a step closer towards you. You were still mad at him but hearing those three magic words did a great job softening you, and so did standing in his presence. Whenever he was close to you, it seemed like you couldn’t think straight. You weren’t too sure if it was his stature, his piercing blue gaze or his heavenly smell, but there was something about him that drove you crazy. It had been so since you first met, the chemistry being undeniable on both parts. He cupped your face and smiled at you.

I love you, Y/N, he said softly.

I love you too… Dumbass.

You were trying really hard not to smile. After all, you were still livid that you had to wait for him. In your opinion, it was humiliating. But Marshall’s grin was almost contagious and, from the look on his face, you could tell that he knew it.

Are you going to let me in ? He asked calmly, still smiling.

Do you think you deserve it ? You asked as you failed to contain a smile.

Probably not, he admitted. But you know you want to.

I’m still mad, you warned.

I’ll make it up to you, he assured you. I told you I love you. How about I show you how much ?

His voice was seductive and there was absolutely no doubt as to how he wanted to show you the depth of his affection. And, deep down, you were all for it. You caved in and grabbed his arm, pulling him in for a deep kiss. You could feel him smile against your mouth as he kissed you back, one of his hands on your waist, the other cupping your face. With his foot, he slammed the door shut behind him and, one second later, he was carrying you to your bedroom as your legs wrapped around his waist. One he entered your room, he gently let you down on the bed before taking a good look at you. You had abandoned the pretty dress you had worn to dinner for silk pajamas : tiny shorts that hugged you ass and a camisole that did not cover much of your chest. Your boyfriend arbored a smirk and a lustful look in his eyes that left no doubt as to what his intentions were. You smiled and pulled him closer to you, kissing him fervently. He kept on kissing you as he removed his jacket and kicked his shoes before laying on top of you. His kisses were passionate and hungry but his moves were painfully slow. He was running his hands up your bare legs, feeling how silky smooth they were, his caresses almost tickling you. His hands continued their exploration of your body, that he knew like the back of his hand already. They roamed underneath your camisole, tracing circles on your back and sending shivers down your spine. His ability to electrify you with just one touch always amazed you. Whenever the two of your touched, you could swear there were sparks all over the room and fireworks in your chest. He had always told you how much he loved your soft skin and how he could spend hours just stroking it. But you were yearning for more, you were absolutely hungry for him. You wanted his touch all over your body, on every inch of your skin, and especially in some places. Places that did not include your back. You tried to grab his hands to redirect them in the right spots but he simply chuckled at how eager you were.

We have all night, baby, he whispered. And you have me for the whole weekend. Just be patient, alright ?

You let out a small displeased whine. You wanted him and you wanted him right now. And after keeping you waiting all night, the least he could do was to oblige, right ? You were about to remind him when he pressed his index to your lips and buried his face in your neck, kissing your sweet spot before sucking on it. His teeth grazed your skin and you couldn’t help but let out a small moan. He pressed his finger to your lips again and you did not resist the temptation to tease him by sucking on it. You could feel a grin form on his lips, still against your neck, as you ran your hands underneath his tee-shirt, which you desperately wanted him to remove. Under your fingers, you could feel every muscle in his back. He hummed at your touch and, as you tugged on the fabric of his shirt, he seemed to get the message. He sat up, straddling you for a second to remove it, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his perfect, muscular chest. It was no secret that you were absolutely fond of his pecs, nearly obsessed with them. So, as he undressed, you were virtually unable to resist the temptation to ran a hand over them, playfully squeezing as a grin formed on your lips. He chortled and grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing each one of your fingers and knuckles with infinite softness and tenderness, before moving on to your wrist and the rest of your arm. God, you didn’t know arm kisses could ever be so sensual but there you were, turning into a puddle under his soft lips. Your eyes were shining with adoration for this man, your brain solely focused on him, who was giving your body his undivided attention. He helped you sit up and made you remove your camisole. Now it was his turn to admire your chest and your tits, which were already perking up thanks to your state of arousal, causing him to smirk. He had you lay back down on the bed as he took one of your nipples in your mouth while he pinched the other. You let out a soft whimper, relishing in the stimulation. The sensation of him sucking on you was absolutely heavenly and sending you into overdrive. You could feel your own wetness and your clit swelling by the second. You were squirming under him, so much so that he had to press his body harder on yours in an attempt to prevent you from moving too much. You were mellow under him, at his mercy. Not that you’d have it any other way, mind you. You enjoyed the sensation way to much. Your breath was heavy and, as seconds went by, you were starting to think he would make you come this way, just by teasing your nipples. Right when you thought you were about to climax, he let go of your breasts and went back to kissing you.

Marshall, you pleaded.

Yes, love ? He asked innocently.

I want you.

You were almost begging. The self-assured woman who was yelling at him on the doorstep moments earlier was nowhere to be found. You were nothing but a puddle, a moaning mess, his to enjoy, tease and torture. He looked at you as he ran his fingers from your cheek to your shoulder to your hip. The trace of his touch was almost leaving a burning sensation. You were craving for more but, at the same time, you relished the softness of it. Your usual lovemaking sessions had always been passionate but this was something else. It was torrid but equally gentle. He was not claiming your body like he usually did. He was enjoying it like one relishes something they know for a fact is theirs. He slowly removed your silk shorts, leaving you bare while he was still wearing his half-dressed. He smiled at the view of your naked body, devouring you with his eyes. You could see the sheer adoration o his face, showing you how he really meant it when he said you were the only one he wanted. For a split second, you locked eyes, his piercing blue gaze staring into your soul. He kissed your lips, your neck, the valley between your breasts, your stomach and your soaking wet pussy. It was wet and glistening, and there was no doubt that he could see. He chuckled and his warm breath against this area sent more shivers down your spine. Unable to control yourself, you let out one more whine and he took it as his cue to start teasing you with his mouth. His expert tongue was flicking against your clit and you let out a guttural moan as you mindlessly ran your hand through his hair, maintaining him in place. He kept on sucking on your bud as he easily slid two fingers inside of you and immediately hit your g-spot, causing you to gasp at how incredible it felt. You tried sitting up but his free hand went straight to your chest to maintain you in a laying position. His movements accelerated and you were soon bucking your hips, curling your toes, your release being imminent. But, much to your dismay, he stopped just as you were about to reach your climax. You were almost on the verge of tears, the denial being too much for you to handle.

Please, you begged. I-I need…

I want to be inside of you, babe, he said softly.

He quickly removed his jeans, socks and boxers and you stared shamelessly at his naked body. He was fully erect and you were almost foaming at the mouth. His perfect chest, his abs, his dick… All of him seemed carved in marble. Seeing your expression put a smirk on his face. He knew full well the effect he had on you and he enjoyed it. He stood there for a couple of seconds while the two of you admired each other’s nakedness. The sheer admiration in his gaze made you forget about everything that ever made you feel self-conscious : the scar on your knee - inherited from a scooter fall, your stomach that wasn’t as flat as you wanted it to be, the stretch marks on the size of your breasts… In his eyes, they disappeared and you felt like a goddess. Fitting, seeing as he was your own personal deity, with a body you’d worship day and night if you had the opportunity. Still staring at you, he opened the drawer in your nightstand and grabbed a condom. You spread your legs a little more and he laid on top of you, kissing you as he positioned himself at your entrance, after putting the rubber on. The two of you had done it countless times but the sensation of him entering you never failed to make you gasp. It wasn’t pain or surprise, more so a form of relief. You let out a small moan as he moved further inside of you, the position allowing you to take a good look at him. His eyes were half-closed and you could tell he was focusing on the sensation of how you felt around him. He stood still for a second before starting to thrust in you, slowly yet precisely. You put a hand behind his neck, pulling his face closer to yours. Your mouths crashed on each other and you kissed him violently, hungrily. You couldn’t wait any longer : you needed him. All of him. You wanted him to claim you, possess you, mark you as his… As if he could read your mind, he immediately picked up the face, keeping on kissing you. He was pounding into you and you put up a fight with yourself not to scream his name. You took it out on his back instead, scratching violently - not thinking about the marks that would undoubtedly be there the next day. He loved the sensation, you knew it, and the whimper he let out was further proof. There was nothing you enjoyed more than his sounds of pleasure, he who was often so quiet compared to you. Your mouth traveled to his, to his neck, where you started sucking. His movements started to become a bit sloppy and you could tell he was close. You gently grazed his shoulder with your teeth, happy to be the one who got him lost in his own pleasure.

Y/N, he warned.

Come for me, you said softly.

You first, he said firmly.

He caught you by surprise and, in the matter of one second and two movements, you were on top, straddling him. You would almost be mad at the ease with which he managed to flip you around if it didn’t feel so good. He knew this position was, by far, your favorite, as it allowed you to feel all of him. You let your head fall back as you enjoyed the sensation of him pistoning into you. Just because you were on top didn’t mean he was intent on giving you any control. The only sounds you could hear were your moans (yours being much louder than his) and your ski slapping against his. Lost in your haze, you weren’t too sure, but it seemed like you babbled something along the lines of « If you stop, I’ll die ». And you could swear it was about to happen and your heart was going to explode when he played with your clit with his thumb, while still pounding into you.

I-Oh… My-G-god…, you whimpered.

He wrapped his remaining arm around you and brought you closer to his chest, placing a kiss on the corner of your lips. It was almost too chaste for the moment, but it felt good, soft and intimate. Your eyes caught his and a smile formed on his lips.

I love you, he said.

Three words. That’s all it took for you to come undone and reach your apex. Next thing you knew, you were collapsing on top of him as he kept on thrusting, chasing his own high. You weren’t too sure if it lasted seconds, minutes or hours. You were in your own pleasure zone, focused on Marshall’s heartbeat against your chest, the sensation of his fingers digging in your skin, the scent of his sweat mixed with yours… When you came back to your senses, you were under the sheets, wrapped in his arms, him kissing your temples, lavishing you wish praises.

Hey, you said almost sleepily.

Hi princess, he chuckled. You alright ?

Mmmmh mmmh, you nodded as you closed your eyes.

Am I forgiven, yet ?

Forgiven ? For what ? You asked, confused and all fucked-out.

Nevermind, he chuckled. Let’s sleep. I love you.

In the moment, you had no idea what you were supposed to forgive him for. In truth, you had forgotten all about the argument. The only thing that echoed in your mind were those three sacred words.

I love you too, you mumbled as you drifted off to sleep, a smile on your lips.

#marshall mathers #eminem #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #eminem imagine

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mazeofyeni · 5 months ago

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⭕. !!: ° ... YOUTUBE : SKZ-LOG !! ‧ ₊˚

↺ ▪️ ࣪ ˖ ∿ 07.31.24 , skz-log for 2024 stayweek !

OUTFIT FROM VIDEO !

Walking down the streets of Milan, Italy with the rest of the group , evie holds the tiny camera up turning it on.

" walk on this side of the street there's a car ." chan moved her to the side. "today we're in milan ." she said. "we're going ...." turned to chan. "oppa tell them where we're going." she put the camera in his face. "somewhere." she deadpanned at him , he smiled at the girl. "ah, so annoying."

"who's going in what car ?" seungmin called out. "you're in this one." chan pointed to the car he was in. "let's go stay."

she got in the back seat with felix and chan , turning her camera off now that they were in a car with a camera set up.

"evie ." chan handed her a mic to hook up to her shirt. "thank you." she took the small device , hooking it on her shirt like so.

she munched on a sandwich as they took off down the roads of milan. "it's good." she gave the camera a thumbs up. "every single time i'm forced to sit in the middle." changbin then spoke up. "shortest goes in the middle."

"you can confidently say that knowing we're the same height." felix laughed next to her. "yah , youngest , youngest sits in the middle." the elder said clearly a bit flustered from the girl.

she sat quietly , listening to them talk back and forth , changbin telling random stories and occasionally shouting to the top of his lungs , she glared at chan through the mirror as she covered her sensitive ears. "you picked me for this personally i feel." he laughed. "have i wronged you in any way oppa?" she said. "ah cute." he just smiled at the girl.

chan put down the roof before driving off , her hair going all over the place. "yah , evie." han laughed as her hair wrapped around her face , they all laughed. "evie? you okay?" chan asked , she smiled. "yeah." she gave him a thumbs up. "i'm okay." felix helped her move her hair from her face , smoothing it to the wrapping a hair that he kept in his wrist around the loose ponytail. "there you go." he swept the fly-aways from her face.

they finally arrived at the dessert place. "if someone asks what we do , just say we're a rock band." han said. "like paramore?" she said humming their song from the band. "just say we're youtubers." jisung said.

they got out of the car , walking into the loud restaurant , her stomach growling at the sight of the desserts , making changbin turn to her , she smiled her face turning red in embarrassment. "i guess that sandwich did nothing." he said she nodded.

"that one." she pointed to the chocolate mousse. "can I have that?" she spoke to the cashier. "and a chocolate creme puff?" she smiled. "thank you so much."

"evie." felix handed her a latte. "your teeth are gonna rot from all this sugar." she took the drink. "yongbok." she said. "your nagging again."

they continued on their way down the streets , the convertible back down as she sipped on her latte , sitting back watching the scenery. "you look at peace." felix said , she nodded. "it would be a perfect picture time if i wasn't scared to move to get my phone."

they finally reached their destination a pretty villa , she pulled out the small camera again. "look at this." she turned the camera. "it's like a movie oh my god." she gasped. "it's so pretty."

she filmed random places as they toured the house. "I'm gonna make a lot of money and move back here in my old age." she said. "it's gonna take a while." lino said. "I'm not worried as long as 3racha keeps making music i will always have employment." she shrugged.

"you make music too." chan said. "yeah , but you three could also buy it for me." the trio turned back to her. "you three are the richest if we do the math." she said. "if you three put your life savings together im almost certain it should be enough to buy me that house." han scoffed , the older two turning away. "you thought really deeply about that didn't you?" she nodded. "that's good , you should always have an imagination."

after finishing the tour of the villa they made their way out to find food. "there is a car coming." hyunjin pulled her out of the way. "don't walk on the side , walk in the front." he maneuvered her through the streets. "i've must've gone back to kindergarten or something." he pinched her cheek. "yah!"

they found a nice pizza spot , but half of them stayed outside , while the other went to order the pizza; she set up her camera to take a few photos. "ah , pretty." she smiled looking at the outcome. "i'll keep a few." she said to herself.

they had some time to spare before the pizzas were ready so they walked down further until they found a gelato place.

she got her gelato , sitting down on the bench eating it. "let me try." hyunjin took a bit from hers. "here." he gave her some of his. "i do not like that." she said scrunching her face up. "it's grape." he said. "i don't like it." she said taking a bite of hers.

she finished her treat on the way back to pick up the pizza , but it would take a little longer , so she just walked back to the villa. "I'm alone right now." she said. "fortunately I'm not lost." she laughed. "it would be scary if I was." she said. "they probably wouldn't even look for me— no chan would , but do I really want to hear the nagging that comes with that." she shook her head. "absolutely not!"

she walked back into the villa , sitting down at the table. "what took you so long?" lino asked. "i waited a while , but it got too hot so i came back alone." she said.

everyone came back eventually and they all sat around to eat pizza. "here." chan handed her a kebab since she really didn't eat pizza. "thank you." she smiled , unraveling the food taking a bite. "good?" she nodded giving a thumbs up. "good."

the conversation of their new dorm arrangements came up. "evie you're moving in with hyunjin and changbin?" she nodded. "not sure when i drew the short straw , but yes i am." she said, both of them turning to her. "yah what does that mean!" they laughed at the loud man. "well no i take that back , hyunjin wakes up before me so that's good and oppa can cook so." she said. "that's all it takes to raise a evie." changbin said. "I need someone to wake me up and cook me food , if I was capable of doing those I could live alone."

"well that and you're paranoid about everything else." seungmin said. "well yeah , so no actually I couldn't live alone."

"does anyone have a fan they remember." changbin said once the topic of fans was brought up. "ah!" she said. "there was a fan from debut days when I was really struggling and she gave me a heat pack and told me everything would be okay , and in that moment everything felt like it had magically switched." she explained. " like she took all the stress away." she nodded. "exactly like that."

they spent the next hour or so just talking to each other , laughing and reminiscing about the last 7 years as a group. "I'm sure it's the same for everyone, but with skz continuing as nine members I didn't hesitate at all."

they all agreed, "how else would we be able to work?" she said. "we can't function without each other." they nodded. "i don't see myself making music if it's not with stray kids , I couldn't do it." she said.

"it would be too hard."

©️MAZEOFYENI

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devastatinglygreen · 7 months ago

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Why do you think they're waiting for the Lady Whistledown reveal?

aside from drama? and i mean that seriously. i know everyone had headcanons and wants for years here but they're building tension. there was no real tension in part one outside of sexual and the stakes need to be higher for the penultimate episode.

the next bit is spoilers we know have been pretty much seen by too many people for ep 5 at least so wander under the cut at your own risk:

i think, and i know a lot of people aren't going to be thrilled about colin not knowing before some things happen, that they need to do two things: solidify their relationship a bit and basically send penelope into a spiral to take the stakes higher.

they have plot armor, they're not going to behead penelope right there in the queen's garden with the peacocks once she gets caught. the only thing truly up for grabs is polin. and not even that, not really, but it's the thing the audience is going to care about.

the spoilers have penelope trying to tell him but failing because she keeps getting interrupted. every time she fails, the clock ticks further. it's a pressure build. eloise is on her back. colin is just wandering along, deliriously happy and penelope knows she's carrying this bomb she's gonna blow up in his face.

she lost eloise to it. colin is the love of her life. i think we can all do that math. she's so stressed out by eloise's timeline she can barely breathe and then comes cressida.

you've got cressida taking credit for LW, colin's happiness sitting on her shoulders (tho i do think it's also so smart of them to have him defend penelope to portia before he finds out, it might give him some insight to how penelope is treated and feels when the right time comes), eloise is assuming things and giving her hell.

i mean, wouldn't you be a mess too? like, give the girl some grace her entire life is imploding right after getting what she's always wanted and never thought she'd get and losing the two most important people in the world to her only a few months before. would you want to blow that up again? yes, yes, i'm sure everyone who says "but she has to!" is very morally outraged and perfectly righteous in their own lives scoffs at the idea that penelope might struggle with a secret she doesn't know what to do with.

it's not like we've never seen how that eats her up before, right? oh. we totally have. nvm.

anyways. cressida. i kind of hope it's the turning point for peneloise because i think even eloise knows she's not a good person to have in a position of power like that. say what you want but penelope doesn't lie in LW.

add in they seem to be bringing in book scenes and i'm going to guess colin catches her after she takes off to print something saying cressida is a whole ass lie. fight ensues. angst! stakes are ridiculously high. the wedding is planned. the pedestals are knocked over and now colin will know everything. does he love her after that? can he? does he trust her ever again? (clearly yes or they're gonna need to change up that family tree thing they released lol).

this will give way to colin having to come to terms with penelope's legacy and how it affects his own estimation of himself and his writing. jealousy like the book. it's a colin issue and he knows it but he still has to deal with it.

colin very much thinks penelope is his purpose, right? the book says it. LN said it about show colin. he's gotta reconcile that LW and penelope are two halves of the same person. he can't put them both in boxes.

anyways what i mean is that the stakes need to be high and her blurting it out then having 2.5 episodes of them moping around about their LW fight isn't really the thing that gets your heart racing when you've got 8 episodes to tell the whole story.

(also as an aside, i think it's going to lead to us getting second "firsts" in a way. it's not going to be a first kiss or anything but i feel like the energy of it all will be different and i, personally, think that could be very fun)

#asks #anon #polin #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton speculation #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton

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deathofacupid · 8 months ago

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game (headcanon) | clay jensen

a/n: something. i had to post something. (i'm halfway through season three, any requests can only be made in the timeline of season one + two + three! please, no spoilers! (i'll cry.) i wanted to write something, literally anything, to get the creative wheels turning. this is kind of just a starting point for me. italics - clay; normal - ...anyone that isn't clay.

summary: how you and clay became you and clay.

warnings: mostly fluff, some depressive/suic!d@l thoughts (nature of clay), it's 13rw... let's face it, the show tackles some dark stuff.

pairing: fem!reader x clay jensen

word count: 0.79k+ words

-after hannah, clay wasn't great at putting himself out there, especially when it came to girls.

-the biggest thing he'd be worried about was girls. once hannah passed, the main reason he was having trouble was because he was trying to find another hannah.

-clay couldn't help but compare everyone to her.

-it was funny though, because the second he saw you, it was like; who's hannah? the world of "before hannah" and "after hannah" was gone.

-in that moment, when you'd first locked eyes, anything revolving the mere thought of hannah disappeared. he didn't have to think about her, and as selfish as it feels to him, it was refreshing. relieving.

-and you know what? he loved that feeling. he loved the feeling of cloud nine.

-sure, plently of times he'd considered asked you out. and then the thought would hit him like a brick; he's never even said a word to you. how's he going to ask you anything at all, if he can't even utter yet a simple "hi" to you?

-trust me, he tries. clay tries a whole lot. but he'll be inches away, and freeze up.

-part of him is afraid to love again, because what if everything ends up like hannah? like one big repeat? he's not sure if he can live through that again. it was hard enough the first time around.

-eventually, he gives up, choosing to admire you from afar.

-it's luck for him, however, when you're the one to break the ice.

-he remembers it clearly, how you lean over during english lit.

-"clay? do you have any idea what we're doing. because... yeah, i wasn't listening." / "huh? what? oh, uh, yeah- yeah, it's chapters 12-15, questions 1-10."

-he's panicking. you're talking to him.

the second time, you're complaining about your math grade to a friend. he's not even thinking when he blurts out:

-"i can help you. like, tutor you or whatever. i'm pretty good at it." / "wait, really? like, for real?" / "sure."

-clay's non-chalant on the outside, not so much on the inside.

-you seem happy, and instantly, he is too.

-the first thing he does is head into his room, kicking justin out.

-"yeah, okay, well, the adoption papers strongly disagree." / "please? y/n's coming over! i need this to go well." / "y/n? no shit?" / "no shit."

-justin gives in, he's clay's number hypeman anyways. justin lingers in the main house, and then finally wanders to find jessica. that's not clay's concern right now, though.

-it's his room. or more specifically, his shared room. he's freaking out, he hasn't been this nervous since the trial, as he shoves all - i mean all - of justin's crap into the closet, then cleaning up his own.

-he hesisitates over his akr comics, before shoving them in a drawer.

-clay showers, it won't hurt, and spritzes on some of justin's more... masculine colongne.

-half an hour later, there's a knock at the door. he's giddy as he answers it, yet nervous as well.

-"nice house-shed." / "thanks."

-he hopes it a compliment. you're nodding in approval, taking in his room. (shared room.) the little trinkets and trophies.

-and the one akr comic he left out.

-"oh, you read these?" / "y-yeah. i mean, yes. i do. wait- do you?" / no, but my little brother does."

-it's incredible how the conversation flows so smoothly after that.

-after a while, you and him got close. suddenly, it wasn't just study/tutoring sessions, it was hangouts at your place and his.

-everyone thought the two of you were dating, starting with justin.

-he would just be talking to his brother, and it would slip in.

-"how's it going between you and y/n?" / "what's going?" / "dude, you still haven't said anything?" / "there's nothing to say."

-or between his parents:

-"clay, honey, how's your girlfriend? you should bring her over for dinner!" / "we aren't dating, mom." / "really?"

-and more frequently, at school. everyone just assumed you and him were together, and at some point, you stopped correcting them.

-"hey, man, your girlfriend left her jacket in class." / "i'll give it to her."

-somewhere along the line, the difference between dating and not-dating blurred, to the point where you weren't even sure what was going on.

-"hi, not-boyfriend." / "hey, not-girlfriend."

-^became a regular occurence.

-"should we just date? y-you know, because everyone thinks we are... so... it's like-" / "sure." / "okay. wait, really?" / "yeah, why not? i'm suprised it took you this long. i'm literally always flirting with you." / "oh."

-like i said, clay isn't always the best with girls. it doesn't matter though, because you have enough game for the both of them.

#clay jensen x reader #13rw #13 reasons why #thirteen reasons why #clay jensen x y/n #clay jensen fanfic #clay jensen fluff #clay jensen self insert #13rw self insert

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psiroller · 4 months ago

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My Boy (We Don't See Each Other Much)

a third fic request from unkat has reached me for some gamer au shenanigans. cool, i thought, nice low stakes goofin off fun time au. lets put some military industrial complex in there

cw: institutionalized homophobia, vague references to USAmerican military operations in the 2000's, gamer lingo

The raid was a resounding success by their guild's lax standards. Chilchuck managed to pull a rare light armor piece he'd been looking for, finally catching him up to the modern game; he was surprised by how much damage the standard grinding mobs were doing to him now, even if his defense was always going to be lower than the tanks and fighters he partied with. Laios landed the biggest critical hit he'd ever seen; the broadsword Chilchuck nabbed for him off the Auction House was working well for him. He was clearly still riding the high, humming the victory fanfare under his breath as he took inventory and milled about with Senshi, comparing the ingredients they’d collected, trading amongst themselves. It was late, though, close to Senshi’s prep hours. Marcille was fighting against the cozy lethargy that followed a glass of wine and swiftly losing. Falin had already logged out to take a shower and head to bed, stopping by Laios’ door for a hug goodnight.

Laios went right back to the desktop after he shut the door. He pulled his headset back on and heard the familiar sound of Chilchuck’s raspy inhale and then a long, satisfied exhale.

“Chilchuck!” Laios said, too eagerly. “You’re still up?”

“No, I’m fast asleep,” Chilchuck drawled. Laios snorted and threw a rock at Chilchuck’s head. It passed through harmlessly; neither of them wanted the hassle of dedicated PVP. Maybe Laios wasn’t as keen on roleplaying as Marcille and Falin were, but the roleplaying server had been a lot kinder to him than the standard ones he usually played on.

“You were right about the sword,” Laios tittered. “I really have to start doing the math instead of just looking at bigger numbers—uh, focusing on how sharp the blade is, I mean.”

Chilchuck coughed through a laugh, leaning away from the mic so that it didn’t blow Laios’ eardrums out. “I think some of the guides are a little out of date,” Chilchuck said, relaxed enough to drop character. Marcille was still nearby, though the AFK symbol appeared under her name; the elf she played nodded off, ears drooping. “Critical chance used to be calculated with this really convoluted system that also included timers, so there were only so many crits you could get in the span of a few minutes,” he went on. “They updated it recently so that you roll for a critical every hit.”

“Oh, thank God,” Laios said. “On a timer? How long did raids use to take?”

“Oh, upwards of four hours.” Chilchuck said casually. Laios sputtered. “I know, I know. I guess people had more free time back then… though with how people run multiple raids a night now, I guess it’s down to how committed you are.”

“So critical hit percentage is the thing I should focus on, then.”

“For your build, yeah.”

“Why does everyone recommend focusing on damage per second?”

“It’s a recent change, I think it got pushed out just before you signed up. They’ve tweaked it a lot, so people tend to get confused on how it works now, as it gets buffed and nerfed. Attack and attack speed used to be connected to the same value, so there are other ways you can focus on dealing damage instead of just right clicking the dragon and watching one of twelve timers tick down.” Chilchuck smiled and took another drag. “I think they’re trying to freshen things up a little. I like the changes.”

“Really? Everyone in the forums talks about how much they hate it.”

“If they’re old enough to be using the forums, they’re old enough to hate their favorite thing changing,” Chilchuck laughed.

“But not you,” said Laios. There was a warmth there that Chilchuck didn’t see a reason for.

“Eh.” Chilchuck’s ears burned under his headset. “Maybe a little bit. They don’t make shooters like they used to.” There was a pause. “Oh, right, you don’t like those.”

“Just the super hoo-rah military ones,” Laios breathed. “I can do Team Fortress 2. That one’s pretty fun.”

“Oh! I play that with—a friend, sometimes,” Chilchuck stammered. “Do you… I’m still kind of wired. I got a day off tomorrow. Do you—”

“Yeah!” His mic clipped. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

“Wait, you don’t have a test tomorrow or anything, do you?”

“… No.”

“I don’t like that hesitation.”

Laios huffed and puffed and logged out of Dungeon Divers with little warning, but usernames were exchanged and soon Laios’ avatar (a dragon, what else) popped up in Chilchuck’s scant friend list, nestled between Dan and May.

“I didn’t think you’d be cool enough to play TF2,” Laios teased.

“Cool people play TF2? I thought it was all screaming toddlers.”

“There are a few of those, yeah,” Laios admitted.

“I played the original game. It was a lot different. I don’t really keep up with it these days, but…”

“No worries,” Laios chirped. “I’ll take care of you.”

Chilchuck felt something zip down his spine. “I’m not that bad.”

They played three matches with the usual late night crowd, and it was a miracle if Chilchuck could stay alive for longer than a minute or two, let alone get a kill. Laios, on the other hand, clawed up every scoreboard and sat at the top. He started with Sniper; Chilchuck followed him while waiting for his respawn timer to run out, flicking between first and third person views. He watched as opponents’ heads would pop like grapes the moment they touched Laios’ reticle, faster than Chilchuck’s eyes could tell his brain to move his fingers.

“Okay, maybe I’m pretty bad,” Chilchuck admitted. “Compared to you.”

Laios missed a shot and sputtered. “I’m concentrating…!” A Spy knifed him, and Chilchuck could hear Laios whack his mouse against the table in frustration. Chilchuck laughed.

“Relax, that’s your first one this round,” he teased. “Your reflexes are crazy. Maybe I’m getting too old for twitchy games like this.”

“The mechanics have changed a lot and all the tryhards are on,” Laios conceded, breathing out the annoyance. “I’ll switch to Heavy. Wanna be my Medic? I can keep more of an eye on you.”

Chilchuck sniffed at his demotion to pocket healer, but then at least he’d be getting assist kills. “Alright, fine.”

Many assist kills were had, and all was well. It was fun to watch Laios’ brain work, bobbing and weaving and jumping around. He played like May did, hyperfocused on the movement mechanics; Chuck’s wrists weren’t any good for that anymore, so he usually hung back to support anyway.

“So why TF2 and not Call of Duty?” Chilchuck asked between matches, lighting another cigarette in search of the now-elusive nicotine buzz. “Seems like you’re really good. You could probably go pro if you wanted.”

Chuck heard a rustling against the mic. Sounded like Laios fiddling with the thing, maybe rubbing his face. He heard a scratch of stubble.

“Eh. I just—don’t like the military aesthetic very much, or something,” Laios mumbled. “I, uh. I served, and it’s a little…”

Chilchuck coughed. “You served? As in, served in the army?”

“Yeah.” There was a chuckle from the other line. “What? Is it that surprising?”

“Well, you just never…” Chuck scratched at the nape of his neck. “You never said anything that made me think… I don’t know what I thought. You didn’t seem like the type.”

“That’s because I’m not,” Laios snorted. “I was a good shot, but not a good soldier, if that makes any sense?”

Chuck wet his dry lips and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t lock into the next game, and the queue dumped them out. Laios didn’t reset it.

“So you objected? Conscientious objection? Is that what it’s called?”

“That’s what it’s called, but uh… it takes a while to get that done if you enlisted voluntarily. You have to plead your case for it. I thought about it, but I didn’t get the chance.”

Chilchuck swallowed dryly, then tapped some ash out into the ceramic tray Patty made for him many Father’s Days ago. “So you were kicked out?”

“Discharged, yeah,” Laios sighed. His chair creaked as he leaned back, too. “Other than honorable.”

Chuck winced. “What did you do?”

There was that rustling again. “I, um. If you don’t ask, I don’t have to tell you.”

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I”—Chilchuck’s eyes went wide—"ohhh.”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously? They booted you over a thing like that?”

Laios laughed weakly. “It’s in the regulations.”

“Still? When there’s, like, five wars going on?”

“Yep. I got a little pamphlet about it and everything. It’s rarer these days, and most people now get let off with an honorable, but…” Laios sighed. “My case was a whole thing. I didn’t fit in great with the rest of my platoon to begin with, and I maybe… I maybe misread some signals. You get bored out there, you know. Lonely. Got a little too close to my bunky…” Laios cleared his throat. “He let me down easy, but I guess he said something to somebody. I don’t think he’d go straight to the brass, he told me he wouldn’t, but someone must have overheard and that counts as credible evidence, so…”

Laios popped his lips with a click of his tongue. Chilchuck was frozen, ashes falling from the end of his cigarette into the crevices of his already dirty keyboard. The cigarette had almost burned down to the filter; money burning up in unsmoked nicotine. “I was probably going to leave anyway,” Laios said, to fill the silence. “I didn’t like being out there. If anything it kept me from being stupid and going AWOL. But if you talk to the VA—or my dad, heh—I might as well have.”

Laios wheezed. Chilchuck blinked some smoke out of his eyes and stubbed out his cigarette.

“Hang on, you were on active duty and they’re hassling you at the VA over healthcare?”

“Oh yeah. Anything less than a general discharge is going to get you some hassle. I’m still on general health insurance, lowest tier. I’m not on TRICARE.”

Chilchuck pinched the pressure point between his eyebrows. “There’s gotta be a way to appeal that.”

“There might be. But I’ve spent about 40 hours of my life on the phone with them since I got back, and I’m not keen on spending anymore.” Laios made a blech sort of noise, disgusted, a little childish. “I hate phone calls. Besides, they gave me some money for college, so it wasn’t a complete wash.”

“Small miracles,” Chilchuck mumbled.

“Yup,” Laios breathed. He drummed his fingers on his desk, loud enough to reach the mic. Then there were a couple rhythmic bongo slaps against the table, nervous. “Ready for another game?”

Chuck looked at his watch. It was 4:32 AM.

“Sure. Night’s still young,” he said, for lack of anything comforting to say. “Play Heavy again.”

“Okay,” Laios said, and there was a smile in his voice. So that was something.

#dungeon meshi #ficroller #fic preview #dunmesh gamer au #chilaios #laichil

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romchat · 6 months ago

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I am loving the double but I can't help feel that the main couple's relationship is so transactional, all she does is ask him to do things for her and all he does is do them. I understand the drama is about her revenge but I thought when she said she didn't want to be a burden and that she's be his pawn too she'd actually help him with his schemes she doesn't have any power but she's very smart and could certainly contribute and help. They both have bigger fish to fry and his also involves loosing his parents but he spends so much time helping her because obviously he loves her I would've liked to see her do the same even occasionally.

Anon, have you seen Episode 28 yet? This scene made me squee:

Fangfei: I've been panicking trying to figure out how to pay you back so I tried to find an excuse. I used to think I would pay you back everything I owed you. Now that I've done the math, I don't think I can. Duke Su: Don't pay me back then. Fangfei: You'll suffer losses. Duke Su: I can afford it.

Their love language is digging up dead bodies and hosting exorcisms for each other.

The ledger might be more in her favor but they clearly match each other's freak.

Although your question makes me think what would happen if they were to get married.

A key theme of The Double has been Fangfei learning to express her desires and to step into the chessmaster role she was born to play. In her previous marriage, she shrank herself to make space for her husband's career and appease her in-laws. That self-sacrifice ultimately left her with nothing more than an open grave and a shovel to the head so with the Duke she uses transactionalism to make sure the scales of their complicated relationship never tip more in his favor than hers.

But in encouraging her autonomy and putting his trust in her, Duke Su has also given her room to bloom. It's a completely different relationship than with Shen Yurong, which opens a lot of narrative possibilities around how will Fangfei's story end, especially as she has always avenged those who have helped or sacrificed for her.

Will the big cathartic moment be from her avenging herself? Or will it be from avenging the Duke and his family because his grievances are now hers? Will she ultimately have to make a trade-off between her plans and his? Or will the tradeoff really be between revenge and her own healing?

As another man's wife or companion, will she truly feel equal and at peace?

I can't believe we only have like 10 more episodes to dive into any or all of that 😭

#the double #墨雨云间 #meta #romchat AMA #cdrama

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yes-i-am-happyaspie · 8 months ago

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OK OK BUT JOY, the prompt: “If you die, I die. Don’t you get that!” Between Irondad?! Either way! ASDGHJKL ANGST

AHHHH!!! Mini-fic time?? Yes. Yes, Mini-fic time.

Here it is, at 997 words. A lot of action, leading to a short panic-induced argument... and a hug. Because of course, there is a hug. :D Enjoy!! [click here for a reversed use of this prompt]

If You Died...

Peter hadn’t meant to get in over his head. It was just- he needed to keep his neighborhood safe, and he had powers. It wasn’t like he could see a problem and just walk away. But he had been careful. He’d used his tools and his abilities to access the situation. He’d asked his AI to run facial recognition on everyone involved and had cross-referenced their information through several databases; just to make sure he knew what he was up against.

Three regular guys, selling regular drugs inside a regular empty warehouse. That was it. Nothing about it had been alarming or ominous. So, taking them out should have been easy. And technically it was. It was the swarm of armed individuals that had flooded in after that had been the problem. He had that too for a while. Then the big guys came in. Three of them, with large shoulders and enhanced strength that matched his own. He was having a difficult time dividing his attention between the projectiles and the hands being aimed at his face.

“Karen?” He dodged, while shooting webs that never seemed to hit their mark. When they did, they never held for long. The big guys busted right out of them. “A little back up would be nice.”

“Of course, Peter. Contacting Mr. Stark.”

Peter ducked and slid beneath one of the large men’s legs. “Wait! Isn’t- Is Captain America available?” He spun around, sending his foot into the guy's knee cap. The impact made no difference; like a child kicking a fencepost. “Maybe Black Widow? Hawkeye?”

There was no debate. “Mr. Stark is already in route.” Three dots appeared on his HUD along with an ETA.

Peter wanted to fret over his mentor's imminent arrival but there wasn’t time. Whenever he thought he had one of the men restrained, they broke free and he had to start over again. One down, two to go. Two down, one- no, still two to go. It was a vicious cycle.

Ten minutes later a blast came from the right. A hole appeared in the wall and Iron Man, gauntlets ablaze, flew through it. Peter looked up. The momentary distraction allowed enough time for a football sized fists to make contact with his stomach. He flew backwards, through a spray of ammunition, and landed in the wall.

The comms crackled to life. Peter wished they hadn't. Pain was already radiating from the back of his skull down and down his spine. When Mr. Stark shouted his name, his ears began to ring. Dazedly, he looked up. Mr. Stark was swooping around the room. Metal clanked and repulsors whirred. Peter struggled to get to his feet to help. Mr. Stark’s voice was back in his ears.

“Stay down, Spider-Man! You’re done!”

Peter blinked. He took stock of his body. The blow had hurt, but he had enhanced strength and a healing factor. He shook out his limbs and demeaned himself well enough to continue. “I’m good. Just a little-”

He didn’t get to finish. Mr. Stark flew by, lifted his faceplate and scowled. “I said you’re done!”

The tone gave Peter pause. Reluctantly, he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. “I’m really okay,” he whispered, despite his throbbing head.

“And I’m really not discussing this will you,” Mr. Stark quipped. “I’m just about done here. You stay put. Capice?”

Peter nodded and looked around. Most of the little guys had fled. And only one of the larger men remained standing. Clearly his webbing needed an upgrade. Maybe taser webs with a manual detonation. A range of fifty to ninety thousand volts would probably do it. Could the suit handle that without increasing the power? He was unable to finish the math before Mr. Stark was in front of him.

“Let’s go.”

Peter allowed himself to be lifted to the top of a nearby water tower. He pulled his mask off and ran a hand over his sweaty forehead. “Mr. Stark, I-”

“Do you have any idea who those people are, what they’re capable of?” Mr. Stark gestured wildly toward the warehouse.

Peter shifted his feet. “I didn’t-”

“Didn’t what? Didn’t know? Of course you didn’t. Did you even stop to ask?” Mr. Stark wrapped his fingers tightly around his wrist. “There were two dozen lacheys and three giant bruises in there! What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t- it was three normal guys when I started!” he half-shouted. It wasn’t his fault, but Mr. Stark didn’t look keen to listen. “The others just- showed up!”

Mr. Stark took a step forward. “You could have died in there, Peter!”

“I wasn’t going to die!” he defensively shouted. “I have super-powers and I did call for back-up!”

“Your AI said you had been going at it for over an hour before you called! Peter-” Mr. Stark looked frantic with his hands running through his hair. “Peter, I don’t know how to explain this to you any more clearly. I-” His face dropped, all blood draining from his face. “What if you had died? Then what?”

Frustrated, Peter gritted his teeth. “It’s on you.”

Mr. Stark blinked. “No. No, bud. That’s not- geez.” he pinched the bridge of his nose, his breaths increasing as he spoke. “Pete. If you die, I die! Do you get that? If you die- I will never recover. I will-”

Peter’s brows furrowed with realization. Mr. Stark was having a panic attack. “Are you okay, Mr. Stark?”

Mr. Stark’s head shot up, his eyes wide and pupils dilated. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Peter stepped closer, his hand going to the back of his hair. “My head hurts but that’s it..”

Without warning, he was pulled into a tight hug.

“Just- promise me you won’t wait so long to call for help next time. Because- Peter? Peter, I can’t lose you.”

Eyes closed tight, Peter nestled his face into Mr. Stark's chest. “I promise, Mr. Stark. You won’t lose me.”

#thanks for the ask!#happyaspie mini fic #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #iron man #spider-man #marvel #mcu #light angst #peter parker gets a hug #panic attack #irondad

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bannedbxxks · 6 days ago

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@marylilymicrofic (1655 words) spin the bottle... I Want a Kiss Like My Heart is Hitting the Ground

Crickets sung their songs outside the castle windows, spring air just barely melting the snow from the rooftops. But the lake was still frozen and the wind would still bite at the tips of your ears if you went outside without a hat. So of course the best thing for a group of sixteen year olds to be doing on a saturday night was to huddle together in the girls’ dorm room passing around a bottle of liquid warmth.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter snuck in through the window, alcohol stuffed in Sirius’ coat. Marlene strong-armed each boy over the ledge and into the warm room.

“Took you lot long enough!” Lily closed the window behind them, shutting out the chill.

”Had to dodge Mrs. Noris. It’s like she can smell booze from a mile away.” Siris grinned, taking the bottle from inside his coat and relishing the awestruck looks it earned from the three girls.

Remus mumbled, “More like she could smell someone’s fish breath.”

“I do not have fish breath!” Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up defensively.

James used the opportunity to snag the bottle from his hands, “Come now, boys, we have more important matters to attend to.”

Mary got up from her bed, joining the group, “Hear, hear!”

James popped the bottle open, “Who’s first?”

Marlene stepped up, but Lily beat her to it, looking up at James sweetly. Mary could have thrown up. James folded instantly, watching like a puppy dog as she threw back a little more than a shot of straight liquor.

Mary’s eyes widened. Lily swallowed sharply and shoved the bottle back at James as she started coughing immediately. Before she knew it, Mary’s hand was patting Lily’s back.

“Woah there, Evans. Save some for the rest of us, yeah?” Sirius took the bottle and brought it to his own lips. He didn’t take nearly as much as Lily, but he had to try twice as hard to suppress his cough before he, too, was hacking up a lung.

Remus took the bottle, then, and took a long pull. He passed the bottle to Marlene without so much as a splutter and everyone gaped at him.

James just chuckled, “Bloody alcoholic.”

Once all of them had their first round with varying success, Marlene insisted they play a drinking game. “Sevens!” Lily exclaimed at the same time Sirius said, “Never have I ever!”

“Let’s put it to a vote then,” Marlene suggested.

It wasn’t much of a competition, only Mary voted for Lily’s idea. “Sorry, Lils,” James said, “No one wants to be doing math while they’re smashed.”

“Well not everyone wants to air their dirty laundry while they’re inebriated either,” Mary had quite a few things she didn’t want out in the open, and being drunk was almost a surefire way to get her to spill her guts. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for being the lightweight of the group.

“Oh, I’m sure you haven’t got anything that bad, Mary,” Remus said reassuringly. If only he knew.

The game started with Sirius, of course, who insisted. “Never have I ever… gone skinny dipping!’

That one got Marlene, who had done it on a dare, and Mary, who had done it the first time she ever got high. Surprisingly, Peter also asked for the bottle, grumbling as he did so, “My stupid brother and his stupid friends…”

Then it was Lily’s turn, “Oh, I’ve got one. Never have I ever gotten a dreadful on my O.W.Ls.”

Everyone but Lily and Remus grumbled about that one, each of them damning Slughorn before taking a drink.

Things started picking up after that, no one bothered with turn order anymore, just saying the various misdeeds as they thought of them.

“Never have I ever smoked weed,” got Remus and Mary.

“Never have I ever snogged someone in an empty classroom,” got Remus, Sirius, Mary, and Marlene, though none of them would fess up any details.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a professor,” was clearly targeted at Peter, but he was a good sport about it.

“Never have I ever… kissed a girl!”

Sirius drank, earning a small frown from Remus. Marlene drank, and varying levels of shock reverberated through the room, but Lily just said, “Called it.”

“Never have I ever had a crush on one of my best friends.” Maybe Peter didn’t take his friends’ teasing as good naturedly as they thought, eyes shooting daggers at two of his roommates.

Remus drank first, earning a few gasps. Then he passed the bottle to Sirius, pointedly, who drank. “Oh, you two have got to be shitting me,” James said, but he was smiling.

Mary’s heart was pounding against her ribs, and she was sure that it was written all over her face as she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Before anyone could say anything else, she grabbed the bottle from Sirius. She was a gryffindor goddammit.

She took a drink, tipping the bottle to get the very last drop. The room fell silent.

Lily and Marlene looked at her, and then at each other.

Sirius looked at his empty hand where the bottle was, and then at the empty bottle in Mary’s shaky fingers. “Christ, we’re out of booze. Well, ladies and gentlemen, you all know what that means!”

Mary has never been more grateful to Sirius in her life as he took the bottle out of her hands and gathered up everyone’s attention.

“Huddle up, huddle up!” Sirius nudged everyone together.

Mary looked at her hands as her friends with varying levels of coordination formed a circle on the floor. She felt a knee brush hers and she looked up to see Lily trying to meet her gaze. Mary’s head was very fuzzy, and Lily’s knee was very warm.

Sirius placed the empty bottle in the middle of the circle and Mary’s gratitude to him ended in that moment, “Alright, folks, gryffindor rules; you kiss who it lands on no matter who, and if you get yourself you have to spin again.”

Sirius went first, spinning the bottle with a certain elegance that could only come from a Black. As the bottle slowed, the friends leaned in closer to one another. Remus.

“Well isn’t it my lucky day,” Sirius basically tackled the boy beside him, kissing him hard. It almost looked like it hurt. Almost. Mary felt the pang of jealousy as she watched two of her friends show the rest of them how sure they were of each other. How sure they were of how the other felt.

They kept kissing as Marlene spun the bottle. It whizzed around and stopped shortly after it started, the label caught on the carpet, pointing dead center towards James.

It was lucky the two of them weren’t shy, and Marlene had lost a few too many never-have-i-evers, she was so drunk she probably wouldn’t remember any of this, “Pucker up, Potter.”

It was quick and sweet. If anything, it was just as platonic as a hug would’ve been.

“Next time you better pray no one says never have I ever kissed a lesbian.” Marlene winks at him and James laughs comfortably.

Mary’s stomach twists itself in knots, bile rising in her throat. It’s her turn. She knows who she wants it to land on. She knows she shouldn’t want it to land on her. She spins the bottle.

It spins and spins. Mary thinks it’s broken, no bottle has ever spun this long before. Marlene, James, Peter, Remus, Sirius, Lily, Mary, Marlene, James, Peter, Remus… Sirius…

Lily…

Mary.

She sighs in relief, it landed on her, her turn is skipped. Except…

“Gryffidor rules, Mar,” Sirius chooses that moment to come up for air, an adequately ruffled Remus sitting up beside him, straightening his sweater. “Spin again.”

Mary’s heart resumes pounding. She spins. She knows who it’s going to land on before it stops. She knows the universe is cruel and the forces of nature have always been against her.

She knows it like she knows the shade of red Lily’s hair turns when the sun hits it just right. She knows it like she knows what nail polish Lily wears in the springtime. She knows it like she knows what songs Lily hums when she gets out of the shower in the morning. She knows it like she knows how Lily takes her tea. She knows it like she knows how deeply, desperately in love she is with her best friend.

It lands on Lily. Mary turns her head, her desperation in her eyes. What she doesn’t know is that Lily is just as desperate.

Just like that, Lily’s mouth is on Mary’s, warm and soft and sweet with a hit of salt. Like caramel. Lily cups Mary’s face with her hands, cradling her cheeks and pulling her closer. Closer. Mary’s hands slide over Lily’s waist, gentle, unsure. Her head is heavy with the feeling of Lily’s mouth, Lily’s hands, Lily’s tongue. Fuck.

Mary clutches Lily’s shirt like it’s a life preserver and she’s drowning. She’s drowning. Drowning in booze and warmth and Lily Evans. She wonders if Lily is drowning, too, before she remembers.

Lily is sober. Or as close as you can get. She hadn’t had a drop since her coughing fit. Never had she ever, it seemed. Never had she ever, until that moment, kissed a girl, had a crush on one of her best friends, and felt so so high. She kept kissing Mary, drowning Mary, and she was doing it sober. It was too much to take in, too much to endure. Mary gasped for air, hands clutching Lily’s hair, lips burning. This must be what it felt like to fall.

Mary felt a tear roll down her cheek and she realized why the kisses tasted salty.

((tysm for reading <3 and thanks to @marylily-my-beloved @imheredisappointingmyparents @ang3l0fde4th4ndd0gs @seekmemystar @obsessedwith15deadwizards @ephemeralstarss @osyhnixt @star-and-moon-shipper for motivating me to write this omg <33))

#marylily #marylily oneshot #marylily microfic #dead gay witches #dead gay wizards #marauders era #marauders #the valkyries #the marauders #mary macdonald #lily evans

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honeysuckleharringtons · 1 year ago

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just steve harrington being so selfless and not taking time for himself melting into a puddle if the reader or you or y/n (idk which one to put 💀) just asked him if he was okay a lot (I do that 24/7, this is purely self indulgent) and the many times he said yeah and the one time he said no :(

i was originally gonna do a full fic style blurb on this but words have been very hard for me lately so i'm just gonna do a text post about this! hope you don't mind 🫶🏻

warnings: reader is sorta implied to be fem!reader, allusions to steve being treated not so well by his parents as a kid, part of this does mention some upside down violence, tiny mention of food, no use of Y/N, lmk if i missed anything!

send me steve thoughts | ask box

I imagine the first time it happens is probably in gym class when you're younger.

You accidentally hit him right in his pretty lil face with a dodgeball ☹️

And Steve being Steve insists he's okay because "I get hit all the time in basketball and football. I've broken bones and nearly busted my teeth out. A lil dodgeball never hurt anyone."

But you can tell he's hurt.

Whether it's him that's hurt or his bruised ego, you can't really tell.

But some part of him was clearly hurt.

more under the cut!

The second time it happens is when you get paired together for a study group during senior year.

Steve struggles with a lot of subjects, but math is probably his worst.

And it's not like he doesn't want to get better, his parents just never sat down at the table and helped him with anything growing up, and when his nannies told his dad about his report cards, it didn't end very well ☹️

But math is the one he's always had the hardest time with.

So when the two of you get paired to study for the calculus final, you can almost immediately tell he's struggling to understand the questions on the example sheet.

At one point, he just kinda places his head in his hands and groans into his palms.

And you're just kinda like, "Hey, you okay?"

And again, Steve is never one to admit defeat.

"I'll be fine. Can you just help me with question four?"

Surprisingly though, after just a few nights of studying together, you become sort of reluctant allies.

He surprisingly excelled in human biology, which you did not. So, the two of you helped each other where you could.

And then it happened a third time, during the summer after you'd graduated.

Steve had had a rather unsuccessful time trying to flirt with the ladies that often came into Scoops Ahoy.

This day had been no different.

He'd really tried his hardest to get the beautiful ginger in front of you to go with him to the movies on Friday.

But she and her friends just moved along, double-scoop ice cream cones in hand, back to their shopping.

"You good?" you asked, nearly on the verge of laughing, as you stepped up to the counter.

"Oh, yeah, sure," he answered sarcastically. "Just a little bruise to my ego. That was definitely the first time any lady has turned down this beautiful face."

Part of you, though, was hurting. Hurting that, even though you were right in front of him, he'd never bothered to look at you that way.

The fourth time it happened, you really started to question everything you thought you knew about Steve.

Somehow, despite being back in town for a total of two days, you'd gotten roped into something to do with some evil dude named Vecna.

And for once, after everything you'd learned since arriving back in Hawkins for spring break, Steve was the one asking if you were okay.

Also for once, one of you was answering the question truthfully.

However, in the week that followed after, even in the midst of alternate dimensions and weird mutations of bats, you'd learned that Steve might have been causing his previous lady problems on purpose.

And when you saw the painful expression he sported as Nancy Wheeler was reunited with her boyfriend, your own heart shattered all over again.

Still, if there was one thing you were, it was a good friend to Steve.

So, you pulled him aside and asked those three little words.

Steve simply ran a hand through his disheveled hair with a slow nod.

But you could tell he was nearly at the point of breaking.

And the time when he finally answered truthfully, he really did break.

You'd drove with him to the hospital to check up on Max Mayfield, who somehow he'd became friends with despite the age difference.

The room was dead silent, other than the annoying buzzing coming from the lights.

You finally gave him a good once-over as he sat at Max's bedside—his messy hair, his pale face with newly acquired purple spots under his eyes, a small cut under his lip.

And for the first time since you'd known Steve, you watched as tears formed in his eyes.

You were quick to rush over to the other side of the bed, your hand splaying across his back and rubbing soft, small circles against his frame.

"Steve, I know this is a silly question to ask, because we both know the real answer, but seriously, are you okay?"

He knew he couldn't hide. Not any longer. So, he simply let the walls come down, croaking out a small, "No," through his flood of tears.

After crying into your shoulder and allowing himself to finally let go of everything he'd been holding in for all those years, he just simply held you.

Finally, after explaining everything—from the reason why he never told you about the Upside Down, to why he'd used Nancy and all those girls as a distraction from the person he really wanted—he just grabbed your face and kissed you. A sweet and tender kiss, not a desperate or lustful kiss, but a longing one—one he'd waited much too long to give you.

And somehow, even in the midst of all the bad stuff, even in the midst of Steve finally breaking, the two of you could finally find a way to maybe, just maybe, be okay for once. ❤️‍🩹

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @aftermidnightwriting @manuosorioh @esoltis280

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iouinotes · 11 months ago

Text

You're my dream | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

genre: fluff word count: 3,4k

show: My life with the Walter boys

summary: Alex thinks you prefer Cole over him. You show him that he is the most important person in your life.

a/n: @bbr0wni3 and I had the same idea for a story, so I hope you like the final result :) and sorry for gatekeeping sooo long

Alex had been quiet for the entire walk home. It felt like the school day had passed painfully slow, without his sympathy, his jokes, or his comments in math class. I've tried to find out the reason for his silence, but each time I asked about it, he changed the topic and I was left clueless.

Of course, I thought about what could bother him so much, but none of my suggestions were that convincing. Maybe it was his bad history essay? Or did he have had another fight with Cole? Was it about Paige? She had become his black shadow over the last year and if I'm being honest, I never really liked her. I mean, as Alex's best friend, I have little say in his dating life, even though my opinion is important to him.

Because when Alex falls in love, no one can stop him. It happens quickly and is usually associated with a lot of pain afterwards.

But if I remember things correct, Alex has been acting a bit strange for a while now. I mean, I tried to get to the bottom of his sudden mood-changes, but understanding Alex's mind has never been an easy task.

Good thing for me, I've never liked things too easy. Then again, bad thing for me, that I'm in love with my best friend.

I didn´t notice it at first and I can't pinpoint the exact moment, when my feelings for him meant more than just friendship.

Alex has always been a special person in my life, someone I could open my heart to and who would never hurt me. Apparently, I opened the doors to my heart a little too wide for him, because on one warm spring day, when I couldn't stop looking at his smiling face, my feelings for him became very clear to me. I literally hung on every word he said and I didn't even know at that point, that you could see a light in his eyes, when he talked about something he liked, that shone as beautiful as the rays of the sun.

And then, without even paying attention to what he was saying anymore (I think it was something about a new video game, he was playing), I quickly wrote down a few phrases in my notebook. that came to my mind. Unfortunately, I probably acted a little bit too hectic, because he stopped talking mid-sentence, irritated but curious.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask, a smile on his lips. He leaned towards me and before I could hide it, he read the words out loud.

"Looking at you is like having the sun right in front of me.

I´m blinded by your beauty."

I thought my heart would give out at that moment, but he just grinned at me with twinkling eyes and asked who these two poetic sentences were addressed to. I said back then that it was about a character from a movie, because he wouldn't have bought anything else. After all, he had known me for so long that he knew about every crush I ever had, so choosing a boy from school would have been out of question.

But he never found out that my inspiration was actually him.

However, when I clear my thoughts and turn to look at him now, a visible frown is attached all over his beautiful features. I decide to put my arm around his arm, the typical pose for a married couple, so he isn´t able to get away from me and I can convince him to hang out. With the aim that I can lighten up his sadness.

Unfortunately now, much to my discomfort, he's looking at me with raised eyebrows, which is why I finally bring up the sensitive topic.

"So, something is clearly bothering you and I will take it as my duty to change your miserable mood. Don´t protest, because we are going to my place and I will take care of you with lots of ice cream. How does that sound?" I see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, he signs but then quietly nods. And when we arrive at my house, luckily my parents are still at work, I turn the key and let us in. He takes off his jacket, my eyes secretly wander to him and I notice, while my heart is pounding, that he wears my favorite sweater. A white one with a blue hood.

He fixes his hair, that always need to look perfect and I smile lightly, because I love every time that I can get on his nerves, when I ruffle through it. He throws himself on the sofa and while I turn on the heater and go into the kitchen to get the ice cream, he has already made himself comfortable with a blanket. When I see him hugging a pillow, still scowl on his face, I sit myself right next to him. But as he keeps his attention at the black TV, I notice his exhausted figure and decide to speak up.

"Alex, come on. Talk to me, something is obviously going on. I don´t like it, when you are sad. Plus, I really miss your smile." My hand rests on his shoulder, lightly stroking the hair on the back of his neck, because I know he has a weakness for physical touch. When I see him struggling to keep up his act, I approach him and whisper "you can tell me anything, you know that right? I would never judge you."

Again, he signs loudly, but finally looks at me. His eyes are searching for mine and now that his attention is focused completely on me, I suddenly feel uneasy.

"D-did I do something?" My nerves are getting thinner by the second. I hate to upset him. Probably because I love seeing him happy so much.

"No, it´s-" his hand brushes over his face. "It is complicated." I'm still trying to understand, why he can't tell me what's going on.

"You didn´t do something illegal, didn´t you? I mean, I would still be your best friend, but I would have to make up a story, why I'm visiting you in prison-" at that, he quietly laughs and shakes his head.

"It´s legal, even though I feel like it shouldnt be." Now I'm curious and scared at the same time.

"Please, tell me. I´m dying to know." I try to put on my best puppy dog look, even though it probably looks pretty stupid.

A few seconds later, he slowly raises his hand and places it on my cheek, gently stroking my skin, while still holding the eye contact. His gesture leaves me speechless. I mean we cuddled every now and then during a movie or I've fallen asleep on him. I've also kissed him on the cheek once while doing a chore, but otherwise we always kept a decent distance. The fact that he's coming so close to me now is catching me off guard.

"You...you would tell me if you like someone, right?" His question surprises me.

"Yeah, of course. You now, that I can barely keep something from you. You always know what I get you for your birthday, because I can´t resist, when you keep asking me about it." His hand slowly sneaks into mine. My eyes wander to our laps. I feel myself getting more and more confused.

"Alex, what´s going on? I don´t hide anything from? Do you think otherwise?" I feel a pang in my heart as I look into his eyes.

"I heard a rumor" he begins to say and I draw my eyebrows together at his words. He never considers any rumors, because most of the time they are false anyway.

"And?" I want him to continue.

"It was about you and-" hopefully not about the fact that I'm in love with you, just let it stay my secret.

"-Cole." What?

"What?" He signs, looking away from me.

"Someone said, he heard you talking about how in love you were with him or something. That you prefer him over me." He averts his eyes so he's no longer looking at me. I almost laugh at this ridiculous statement.

"Do you really believe that? That I would prefer Cole over you? My funny and kind, but sometimes very very stupid best friend? You really think, I hang out with you in every free second, that I have, because I like your brother? Who is by the way, not even close on my list of people I would visit in prison." I'm glad he didn't do anything illegal and it's just about a stupid rumor. But now, I still have to convince him, that it is in fact just a rumor.

He is quiet for a moment, but when he speaks up, I almost laugh at his question.

"Where am I on your list?" His eyes look into mine and now I'm the one taking his hands.

"Alex" I start to speak in a gentle voice "you will always be my number one, you hear me? I don´t think, I like another person in this world or in this universe as much as I like you. Sometimes, it feels like you are literally the reason, that the earth revolves. Because for me, my world revolves around you. I enjoy every second, I spent with you and I would never, ever trade this for even a minute with Cole. Okay? Never. I promise."

I finally see his shoulders relax and a genuine smile that spreads across his face. When I nudge him on the shoulder, he laughs.

"You, big dummy. I thought, you would tell me, you robbed a bank or something."

"Oh, I would never dare. You would kick my ass." We smile at each other in silence.

But I still want to know, how it comes, that he would believe something so ridiculous.

"So, why did you think, I would prefer Cole over you?" It hurts a little to think, that he believes he´s not that important for me.

"Because" he begins to say, gesturing with his hands "the Cole effect exits and all that. Every girl falls for his charm or whatever. I can´t compete with him." Something I will never understand. How he always makes himself look bad in comparison to his older brother.

"Well, for the matter, you affect me with your smart and kind soul. And I think my heart could bear it a lot better, if you would not look like a dream come true."

He's silent for a moment and I begin to panic, when he suddenly looks at me with a nervous expression.

"Can I- I mean, I think I´m going to say something really concerning. And it will affect our friendship, like a lot. So, just let me say it." Since that means, that he wants to talk about something important, I stay quiet. Nevertheless, still holding his hand for support.

He exhales heavily, but then looks directly at me. "I know you for as long as I can remember, you were by my site since the second I walked on this earth. You know, quite literally, because we were in the same kindergarden group. You were my first friend and I remember so many moments, that will forever exist in my memory. And...in my heart. Because you seem to have a say in what my heart wants and it feels like it wants you, for some time now. I know you are my best friend, but I cant imagine someone else being so connected in my life. In everything I do, everything I am. You support my decisions, even if you don´t like them. When you force me to watch rom-coms with you and the characters talk about finding their soulmate, doing all these cheesy things, I realize I want that too. With you. Since watching the Notebook three weeks ago, I wake up every day and wish that you would lay next to me. So, I could-"

He leans forward and with a shy smile, that makes my heart burst with happiness, he kisses me. It´s a feeling, I never want to miss again.

"-kiss you. It would be the first thing I would do in the morning."

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears.

"I would-" his hands move to my waist and pull me onto his lap. "-make you sit right here and whisper all the things I adore about you. Like-" he kisses my forehead, I feel his lips across my face. I close my eyes and enjoy being so close to him. He leans further towards me, his lips brush over my neck and leaves a kiss there.

He mutters a few words, that I -much to my dislike- can´t understand. But I´m too caught up in his embrace to ask about it.

But then, he seems to get more confident and when he speaks again, I almost tear up.

"I love you. As my best friend, my heart, my love, my person. If you let me. I'll be yours, if you want to be mine."

I kiss him again, letting the tears flow, because I don´t know what else I could do to show my happiness. When we break apart, I look at him. A lovesick feeling inside my chest.

We're holding each other in our arms, but just a few seconds pass until his curiosity wins and he turns to me.

"That quote, that you wrote a few weeks ago, about someone being like the sun for you. Who was it about? Because you did not, just for once, talked about a fictional character. I would remember." Okay, I didn't expect that.

His beautiful eyes continue to look at me, encouraging me to come out with the truth. I nervously smile, tracing the lines in his hand.

"As you said, you ever looked at someone and just thought: This is my person? Someone, you want to have in your life, no matter, if it´s just a friend, a boyfriend or maybe even a best friend." I look at him, searching in his eyes, that he knows how I feel. Then I continue.

"Someone who makes you smile just by existing. Or someone who has a shitty humor, but he delivers his jokes so perfect, it makes you laugh anyway. Someone, who holds my heart and my mind in his hands, even if he doesnt know it."

"What´s he like?" His eyes are curious, but to my surprise, he seems irritated by the thought, that I could be in love with someone. Someone, who isnt him. You big, big, idiot.

"He's kind, has a fascination for fantasy books and for riding horses, playing baseball or fighting creatures in video games. He doesn't know, why I have a soft spot for sweet, gentle and caring characters, even though he is my inspiration for writing them."

His lips part in surprise.

"He's my everything. Sometimes it makes me sad, because I can´t love someone else, the same way. But then, I look at him and I feel like, why do I even want to love someone else, when he exits." I pause for a moment.

"When you exist."

My words make him speechless, but he continues to hold me close to his heart.

"For a long time, I didnt even know I had feelings for you too, Alex. You were always like a second home for me.

You are someone I trust the most and who I rely on in any kind of situation. You make me laugh and you´re always there for me. At first, I didnt notice my change of feelings. Because you kept being my safe place, but as I grew up, I realized that nothing mattered the way, you matter to me.

Sometimes, when I look at you, it feels like I have met my other soul or that maybe, we share the same. Nothing in this world is as important to me than you or your feelings. Maybe it wasnt clear enough for you to see, but I am in love with you.

Your existence in this world is so special and like nothing else, I could ever dream of. Because you are my dream, the most-dearest one."

#alex walter #my life with the walter boys #cole walter #love confessions #love #x reader #soulmates #fanfic

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myocsfanfictions · 1 year ago

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South Side Story

Shameless Fanfiction Season 1

Desna Hills has come living in the Southside of Chicago four years before. Taken in by Kev and V, Desna is close friends with the Gallaghers. Let's see how this Southside story unfolds.

Masterlist

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Chapter 2

Fucking Lip Gallagher!

That was all Desna could think about that day. He had even promised her he would have helped her with math, that asshole.

She was trying to study, but her fight with Lip kept repeating in her mind. She was used to it. It wasn't the first time it happened. For as much chemestry there was during sex, and how close they seemed to get everytime they did it, as they spoke there was always some distance.

Lip was like that: sassy and intelligent, but he was also a smartass and closed off. For Lip everything could be risolved with quick remarcs and everytime Desna felt like they were going somewhere in their relationship he put off acts like the one of few hours prior.

"Fuck..." she muttered as she closed her book.

"You're here, babe?" Veronica's voice came from the living room.

She liked to be called V and she was beautiful. That how Desna would describe her, beautiful inside and out. She had a great heart and she was strong, Desna hoped that one day she would have become just like V.

"In the kitchen!" Desna said. V's steps could be hear clearly, since she was wearing high heels, as always.

"I saw the lights," she said putting the keys on the table before walking towards Desna, "You're not sick, right? I thought you were going to be at the Alibi this evening," Desna smiled at her worried tone, but she shook her head.

"I just..." the girl said, flipping the pages of her notebook, "I had to study, and my head hurt, so I decided to stay home."

V's eyes were on her as she set down next to Desna.

"You sure it's the only reason?" V asked waiting for her answer.

Desna shrugged her shoulders, "I may have had a fight with Lip," she admitted.

"Again?" V asked with a frown as she stood up to fill a glasses of water, before moving to the medicines drawer, "Seriously what's going on between the two of you, lately?"

Only Ian knew about Lip and Desna situasionship. They were just having fun, nothing to say to the world about, that's what they had said at first, even because it was thrilling, the thought of sneaking away to have sex together. But since they started it, they had started to fight more, and that really affected Desna. She liked Lip, a lot, and she wanted to lose him as a friend, but she didn't want to lose what they had now.

"Just stressed... I think..." Desna muttered sipping the water V had given to her, to swollow a pill.

"Babe," V said sitting again next to her, "I see how you look at Lip."

"I don't look him in anyway," she said trying to hid the blush on her cheeks.

"Oh you look at him alright," she fired back making Desna cover her face with her hand.

"V," she begged, but the woman kept talking.

"Why don't you tell him?"

Desna turned towards her with wide eyes, "Tell him what?"

"That you like him," she said nugging the girl, who shook her head.

"It wouldn't make any difference," Desna said shrugging her shoulders, "I like what... we have now, I don't want to ruin it," V took a breath but she kept listening, "That does not mean that I like fight with him, or what we said to each other."

"Why? What Gallagher said?" V asked, ready to defend Desna. And she really appreciated her reaction, but that was something between her and Lip only.

"Nothing that I didn't say to him as well," Desna said, "It's that, I don't know... today is more difficoult than other times," she finished getting a deep breath.

Lip was so involved with her during sex. He said that he wanted her, just few hours ago, that he loved fucking her, why could he not say those things even in other situations?

"Hey, babe" V said making Desna look in her direction, "Boys will be boys, too stupid for us," that made Desna laugh, a laugh followed by on of V's, that moved her hair from her shoulder, "What about going out with me and Fi, tonight?"

"What? Really?" Desna asked happily, "Can I really come?"

"Of course!" V exclaimed, "Now run up, get washed up, do make up and put on a pretty dress, and we are going to have lots of fun tonight. Only us girls, no boys."

"I like the sound of that," Desna said nodding her head. And V smiled brightly at her.

"Then go on!" She said, "Go get ready!"

Desna liked to go out with V, but she didn't do it frequently. V and Fiona were best friend and Desna was only sixteen now, so it made sense that most of the time the two of them wanted to spend time together alone. But when they asked her to join, she was truly happy. It made her feel like an adoult, and even beautiful, powerful.

She looked at her dresses, but she already knew what she wanted to put on. It was a simple black short dress, but she liked how it fit on her. It had simple strapes, and the skirt was short, but it hugged her body perfectly. She had bought it with V for her sixteenth birthday and V had told her that it seemed like it had been created for her.

Desna was quick to put it on, running to her wordrobe once again to take black high heels. Then she put on some make up and fixed her hair, deciding that she would gave left it loose. She looked at her reflection for some more, before heading out the stairs where V was waiting her, ready to go.

"Are you reade, pretty lady?" She asked opening the door. The two of them though had to go to the Gallaghers first, waiting for Fiona. Desna wasn't exactly happy to had to see Lip, but there wasn't much she could do, so she followed V into the house right next to theirs.

The two of them entered from the kitchen door, the one at the back of the house and V immediately ran up the stairs, calling for Fiona. Desna decided to stay there, everybody seemed to be upstairs, so that seemed tge safest place.

"Wow!" Carl's voice made her turn to the living room, where the boy was looking at her with wide eyes "You're hot..."

Desna chuckled, "You're drooling, buddy" then she set on one of the stools in the kitchen. The boy walked towards the fridge, glancing at where she was as he was taking something to eat, then suddenly he turned towards Desna.

"So, I really have to be eighteen before asking you out?" He said curiously.

And she nodded, "You really have to be eighteen before asking me out," she confirmed. Carl scoffed.

"It's too far away," he said before giving her a smirk, "I can make you happy."

Desna couldn't help but chuckle, he was so young and already a flirt. Carl Gallagher would have had many girls crushing on him as he got older.

"I'm sure you can," she said nodding her head, "But not now."

Carl looked at the sandwich in his hand nodding his head, then his gaze went on her.

"Just wait and see," then he want into the living room.

He was so persistent. Desna looked at him fondly as he watched the TV, such a little troublemaker. Carl was probably her favorite Gallagher.

Then suddenly she heard some steps coming from the stairs next to her, and as she turned, Desna saw Lip stopping midway, looking at her.

"Oh..." he muttered and Desna didn't miss the way his eyes observed her body, but she decided to ignore the blush coming to her cheeks because of that stare.

"Hey..." she said quietly.

"Hey..." he muttered, before taking those last few steps that kept him from the kitchen, "You are..." Desna looked at him, waiting for what he wanted to say, but he just coughed shaking his head, "You are going out."

Desna could not help but feel disappointed, why was he looking at her like that if he could not even give her a complimenti?

"What give me away?" She said standing up.

He shrugged his shoulders, "You either going out or you are here to seduce me," but she just shook her head.

"I think I'll pass, thank you," Desna answered turning her back to him. And he gave out a chuckle that only pissed her off.

"Are you still angry?" He asked.

"I don't know," she answered with fake calmness, "Are you still an asshole?"

At her words he make few step to get close to her, "Look whose talking," he said as she gripped her own arms, giving a glance in Carl's direction to make sure he wasn't looking at them.

"I'm not an asshole," she answered turning to look Lip in the eyes.

"And what makes me one?" She could feel his breath against her face beacuse of how close he had gotten.

"Let's check, did you fuck Karen?" Lip gave out a mocking chuckle.

Desna could not stand him anymore so she walked out the door. But she could hear Lip's footstep behind from behind following her outside "So, you're acting crazy because you're jealous?"

"No, because you are a jackass!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, a jackass too?" He asked the mocking tone never leaving his voice.

"And I've got many more, don't tempt me," she said trying to walk faster feeling him close behind.

"You always find a way to get pissed at me and I am the jackass?" He said before gripping Desna to make her turn stopping her from leaving, by taking her arms in his hands, "What's wrong with you?"

She was doing her best to not let anything slip from her lips; she didn't want to tell him that him going to Karen Jackson only to hurt her actually did, she didn't because they weren't a couple and they were not exclusive and she liked to have him close, she didn't want for he to not be there. She didn't want to ruin shit, but Karen's presense really pissed her off.

"Hey," he said moving a strand of black hair from before her eyes, to behind her ear, "What's wrong?"

Desna bit her lips, she really didn't want to cry in front of him, she didn't want to seem desperate for his touch, even if she was. And she didn't want to lose him.

"I..." she muttered "I might be jealous of Karen Jackson," he smiled at her words but she shook her head, "But because you always bring her up when we fight, and it feels like..."

"Like?" He asked as his hands moved to her hips.

"Like you want to hurt me," she admitted, finally looking him in the eyes. He was intensingly staring at her, as he brought her closer to him. He leaned forward his head so that his forehead touched hers.

"I don't wanna hurt you," he whispered, his arms sneaking around her waist, "Not on porpuse," then he chuckled, "I guess I am an asshole after all," he then looked at her again, she could not look away from his eyes, and before she knew it, she whispered "I want to kiss you," and in a moment his lips clashed on hers, the hold around her waist was thighter as her hands moved to his face, so to pull him more into the kiss. Desna closed her eyes as she savored every second of that moment. Soon her hands move to his hair as the kiss got more passionate.

"I have to tell you something," Lip said when they broke off to take hair, his hold still secured around her hips as he got ready to talk, "I didn't have sex with Karen," he said looking in her eyes, then he took a breath, "But she blow me."

"Fuck, Lip," she said trying to get away from him, he didn't let her move.

"Hey, hey" he kept say to get her attention.

"I really don't want to know!" She protested still trying to break free from his arms, but he didn't let her go, "Let me go, please!"

"I am sorry," he said making her stop her movements, "I am sorry, but I..." he continued before taking a deep breath, then he leaned forward to put his forehead against hers, that didn't move. Still wondering why he was apologizing, they weren't exclusive. They had decided it.

"Please, don't..." Lip took another deep breath, "I want you" he said, and she didn't know the reason why those words had such a strong impact on her, but she found herself bringing her hands in the back of his head once again.

"I want you too," she said before leaning forward to capture his lips with her gor another kiss. He immediately responded eagerly, briging her even closer, so that in between their bodies there was no space. His arms hugged her, as she deepened the kiss more. They felt so great in the arms of the other, it was so beautiful and addictive. It didn't matter what they said they would always found each other like that.

"I don't want to hurt you," Lip said, not letting her go, those words made her smile, as he put his forehead against hers, "I just got angry because I wanted your support with Ian."

She observed his blue eyes got clouded with nervousness once again, "You know what I think about it Lip."

But he shook his head, "No, he would have tell me," he said finally, "If he really was he would tell me, he would trust me," Now she understood what has gotten him so worked up.

Desna put a hand on his cheek so the he could look at her, "Maybe he is just scared, this things aren't easy to figure out."

But he shook his head, "He would have told me."

"Alright, alright," she said caressing his cheek to calm him down, he seemed to enjoy her touch, "Why don't you try to talk to him? Maybe he wanted to tell you."

Lip seemed to think about what she had said before nodding his head, "Yeah, yeah, maybe I'll talk to him," he muttered. Desna looked at him for a moment before leaning forward to give him a kiss on the forehead.

"So, we good?" He asked, rubbing his nose against hers, who smiled.

"Yeah we're good," at her answer he pecked her lips again.

"Des!" V's voice made Desna looked at the house, then she turned to Lip.

"I have to go," she said, not that she really wanted to leave his arms.

"Yeah," he answered nodding his head, "Are you planning on having sex with someone tonight?"

His question made her smile, and she shook her head, "No, no sex tonight," she said and for some reason he let out a breath, before giving her a kiss on the cheek, "Have fun."

"Thanks," she said ready to walk away, but before doing so, she leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear, "But tomorrow I could use some help finding my phone," Lip chuckled.

"Really?" He asked with a grin, before pulling her close by the back of her neck, "Tomorrow morning at 7.00 in the van?"

Desna pecked his lips "Tomorrow, at 7.00 in the van."