#but kinds will understand that the more experience and knowledge they gain of the world around them

[dimonds456]

hey tumblr, thanks for recommending me a TERF post "based on my likes." I hope the hour I spent blocking as many people as I could bear in the notes is enough of a hint for you.

[botanicalsword]

House Stellium • Harmonising your energy

Advices for those with prominent House Stellium

This is relevant for Natal Chart, Progression Chart, Solar Return Chart, and Lunar Return Chart.

✧

1st House Stellium - maintain humility & an open mindset

be open to others' opinions and not be too arrogant

listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition and inner feelings - learn to listen to others' perspectives

gain different angles of thinking and experiences

✧

2nd House Stellium - hard work and savings

avoiding get-rich-quick schemes, seeking luck, or engaging in illegal ways

through diligence and frugality, steadily accumulate wealth and achieve your goals

✧ 3rd House Stellium - talents and interests

leverage your expressive and communication abilities to excel in the field of culture and the arts

showcase your uniqueness in the arts and cultural domains

enhance your expressive and communication skills to engage with others and share your thoughts and creativity

✧ 4th House Stellium - explore unknown territories

explore the world outside and not stay too isolated at home.

actively participate in social activities - step out of your comfort zone

broaden your horizons, enrich your life experiences - interact with different groups of people

✧ 5th House Stellium - the importance of financial knowledge

study investment theories - can better manage and grow our financial assets

engage in moderate entertainment and relaxation outside of work - maintaining a balance

✧ 6th House Stellium - physical health

be attentive, and diligent but overworking

maintain a balance between work and life

Sustaining good physical health - enhance work efficiency and life quality

schedule work and rest time properly

✧ 7th House Stellium - choice of partner

be cautious in choosing partners, whether in relationships or business ventures

Good partnerships - shared success

unsuitable partners - unnecessary troubles and difficulties

✧ 8th House Stellium - unexpected circumstances

leave room for alternatives when dealing with matters - reduce anxiety and stress

have backup plans and maintain being calm / let go

✧

9th House Stellium - knowledge and wisdom

read more books, explore the world

understand different cultures and perspectives, and expand our thinking and cognitive range

Reading - transport us into a colorful world, stimulating our imagination and creativity.

✧ 10th House Stellium - quality of life

excel in work or entrepreneurship while also giving yourselves some space for personal life

pursue professional success while paying attention to our quality of life

need time to rest, engage in leisure activities

spend time with family and friends

✧ 11th House Stellium - self-acceptance

strong interpersonal skills

avoid relying too much on others' approval

maintain authenticity and independence

not excessively conforming to others' expectations or seeking validation for satisfaction

believe in our value and capabilities

maintain confidence and self-esteem

✧ 12th House Stellium - kindness and empathy 

qualities of tolerance and inclusiveness

sympathize with others' experiences

avoid procrastination

take proactive actions and avoid delaying problem-solving or pursuing our goals

forgiveness towards others and yourselves - release inner tolerance and goodwill

✧

Dear 12th House Stellium

12th House Stellium Part I (Extended)

12th House Dominance Part II (Extended)

Hidden strength of 12th House (Extended)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

✧

[cosmicpuzzle]

Jupiter 🪐 Conjunct Planets

Jupiter Conjunct Ascendant

This is one of the most desirable astrological aspects anyone can have. You have a larger-than-life personality that others find extremely attractive. You easily make a good first impression on people because you are friendly and outgoing. Broadminded and enthusiastic, you have an eagerness for knowledge and travel. You come into contact with people who can help you socially, financially and professionally. About the only negative thing that can be said about this aspect is that there can be a tendency to self-indulgence and weight gain.

Jupiter Conjunct Sun

You have an essentially positive and optimistic outlook on life, coupled with a strong desire to improve your position in the world. You are motivated to expand your awareness and broaden your horizons, which you can do through travel and higher education. You are naturally enthusiastic, gregarious and generous towards others but can also be immoderate and wasteful or extravagant. You are inclined to overdo things, especially the good life, which can lead to weight gain and its associated problems.

Jupiter Conjunct Moon

You are naturally generous, open-minded and kind-hearted and often experience benefits in life with or through others. Your emotional honesty and good humor make you popular and appreciated by others. You are socially aware and always ready to help other people. You know how to enjoy yourself and are fond of sociable and pleasurable activities. Relations with women are usually positive and often personally advantageous. Your outlooks on life can fluctuate with your moods and you may experience religious and philosophical conflicts. You will probably travel and possibly live overseas.

Jupiter Conjunct Mercury

You are basically an optimist at heart and usually express a positive and confident outlook on life. You are able to exercise intelligent reasoning and are generally tolerant of other people's ideas and perspectives. In general, you are a good communicator and can express your ideas easily and lucidly. You are quite wise and understanding of things and others will frequently seek your counsel and advice. In your desire to broaden your knowledge, you will most likely travel, correspond with people in other countries and possibly study or have business arrangements overseas. You may be well read and erudite. Certainly, you appreciate the value and benefits of a sound education. You will most likely have success as a speaker or writer. A sense of humor, wit and a generous nature will gain you popularity with others. Negatively, you can be intellectually arrogant, preachy or inclined to magnify things to stress a point.

Jupiter Conjunct Mars

Live life to the max is your motto. You are ambitious for personal success and never back down from a challenge. In fact, the tougher something is the more determined you become. You usually manage to achieve whatever you set out to accomplish because quitting never enters your mind. You are a productive, energetic and resourceful person. If other factors in your chart support it, you have managerial and business abilities. At the very least, you are decisive and able to make decisions quickly. Also, you have a good sense of timing, especially when it comes to maximizing opportunities. Naturally competitive, you enjoy sports, adventurous games and physical exercise.

Jupiter Conjunct Venus

This is a very desirable aspect to have in a chart because it brings social and worldly benefits and facilitates successful relationships with others. Warm-hearted and sociable, you are popular with other people because of your readiness to give generously. You have a pleasant and affectionate nature, which people find attractive and appealing. Romantic encounters are generally positive and happy and artistic ability is evident. You know how to enjoy yourself; however, you can be prone to self-indulgence, sensuality or wastefulness. There can also be an inclination toward laziness.

Jupiter Conjunct Saturn

In general, your life alternates between periods of optimism and pessimism and periods of financial abundance and financial hardship. It can sometimes seem that everything good that happens to you comes at a cost. Your challenge is to find the middle path between enjoying life and keeping it real. Occasionally, you experience feelings of dissatisfaction with your lot in life; however this can serve as a motivation to improve your situation. All of your personal successes - academic, financial or emotional - are hard won and gained through industry, perseverance and self-discipline. You have a good head for business because you understand the cycles of expansion and consolidation. Your philosophical outlooks tend to be orthodox and conservative.

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus

You are highly independent and delight in your own originality and uniqueness. You are quite happy doing your own thing and don't concern yourself with other people's opinions. Your faith in your own abilities is usually strong and, regardless of what may be happening in your life, your trust in the future rarely flags. You have an eye for good opportunities, coupled with a keen intuition and an exceptional sense of timing. This can be a good luck aspect for receiving sudden windfalls; however try not to depend on this as a reliable source of income! You will almost certainly travel and have out-of-the-ordinary experiences when abroad.

Jupiter Conjunct Neptune

You are essentially an idealist who sometimes sees the world through rose-tinted glasses. As a result, you can perceive situations to be quite different from what they are in reality. You are selfless, compassionate and emotionally sensitive to the needs of others. Spiritual subjects may interest you and it is possible that you possess psychic ability. A talent for music and art is also likely. On a more mundane level, you may have an enthusiasm for taking risks, however, it is impossible to tell if your speculations will succeed or fail - so you need to take care.

Jupiter Conjunct Pluto

You have a strong desire to make your mark on the world and to accomplish something of significance. Your ambition and self-motivation are pronounced, and you will pursue your goals in life with passion and intensity. If other factors in your chart support it, this aspect can bring you power and leadership over others. At the very least, you will be known in your own group or community for organizing others and taking charge of situations. However, watch that you don't let power go to your head, because you will turn people against you, especially if they think they're being manipulated. Similarly, you can risk placing yourself in serious loss situations if you provoke those with greater authority than yourself.

For Readings DM

[keehomania]

professor (교수님) — kim namjoon (김남준)

✧.* 18+

the classroom was a haven of knowledge, a place where the boundaries of your mind were pushed and expanded. every time you walked through those doors, you were met with an air of possibility, the faint scent of old books mingling with the fresh anticipation of discovery. all of the professors had ways of making the most complex concepts feel within reach, of turning abstract theories into tangible truths that you could almost hold in your hands.

they spoke with a quiet confidence, their words weaving intricate patterns that painted the vastness of the world before you. each lecture was a journey, guiding you through the twisting paths of philosophy, literature, and history. they had a gift for connecting seemingly unrelated ideas, showing you how the art of renaissance painters could influence modern technology, or how ancient philosophies could still hold relevance in the digital age. under their guidance, you realized that learning wasn’t just about absorbing information; it was about seeing the world through different lenses, understanding the interconnectivity of all things.

you delved into texts that explored the human condition, the nature of existence, and the purpose of life. you wrestled with questions that had no easy answers, questions that required you to look within yourself for understanding. it wasn’t just about gaining knowledge for the sake of it—it was about applying what you learned to your own life, using it as a tool to navigate the complexities of existence.

but among all the things you studied—science, art, history, language—there was one thing that stood out as the most important: the lessons you learned. these weren’t found in any textbook or taught in any lecture. they were the lessons life had already carved into your soul, shaped by your experiences, your failures, your triumphs. under your own guidance, you came to understand that the most valuable knowledge you could acquire wasn’t about facts or theories. it was about the wisdom you gained from living, from making mistakes, and most importantly, from learning from those mistakes. in the end, it wasn’t just the information you gathered that mattered, but how you used it to grow, to become better, and to understand the world and yourself more deeply. if only you had put those lessons learned to better use.

you hadn't been taught the lesson of love, not in the way you had learned about history or philosophy. love was never something you could study in a textbook or learn through the wisdom of others. it was a lesson you learned by living it, feeling it, enduring it. but you had always trusted too easily, believing that everyone who offered you a kind word or a gentle touch had your best interests at heart. it was a trait that made those around you frustrated, watching as you opened yourself up to hurt time and again. even you, in quieter moments of reflection, found yourself exasperated by your own naivety. but you couldn't help it; trusting others came as naturally to you as breathing.

so, it was no shock—no surprise, really—when you got your heart broken for the first time. you were in your early twenties, a time when many had already experienced their share of heartbreaks and fleeting romances. you, on the other hand, had waited. you had held out for something real, something lasting, thinking that by doing so, you could avoid the pain that others had endured. but love, as you learned, didn't work that way.

for two years, you were caught up in what you thought was a love that would last forever. you built your life around it, around him. you imagined a future where the two of you would wake up side by side, where you would make breakfast together in a sunlit kitchen, sharing quiet moments over coffee. you dreamed of nights spent stargazing, your fingers intertwined as you pointed out constellations, finding comfort in the steady light of the north star. your idea of forever was simple, yet profound: it was the promise of a shared life, of growing old together, of finding peace in each other's presence.

his idea of forever was something else entirely. it was a fleeting thing, something that could be found at the bottom of a bottle of vodka or in the anonymity of a cheap motel room. it was in the arms of whoever he could get his hands on first, someone who wasn’t you. the realization that he had been unfaithful—repeatedly, with over fourteen different girls—shattered the image of the life you had built in your mind. every girl was another crack in the foundation of your trust, another tear in the fabric of your heart. it wasn’t just the betrayal that hurt, but the way you had been so blind to it, so willing to believe that what you had was real.

you were devastated, to say the least. the pain wasn’t just emotional; it was physical, a deep ache that settled in your chest, radiating through your entire body. the nights were the hardest. you would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying every moment of your relationship, trying to pinpoint where it had all gone wrong. you wanted to understand how the love you had given so freely could have been so thoroughly disregarded. but no matter how many times you turned it over in your mind, you couldn’t make sense of it.

the worst part was that you couldn’t even be angry with him. you wanted to be—to scream, to curse him for the way he had treated you—but all you felt was a hollow sadness. you were disappointed in him, but more so, you were disappointed in yourself. how could you have let this happen? how could you have been so foolish, so trusting? you had always prided yourself on being smart, on being able to see through people’s intentions, but when it came to him, you had been blind.

the nights following your heartbreak were long, seemingly endless. sleep was a distant stranger, slipping through your fingers every time you tried to grasp it. Instead, you spent those hours in late-night conversations with your friends, searching for solace in their words. their voices were a lifeline, pulling you from the depths of your despair, even if just for a little while. you talked about everything and nothing, dissecting the intricacies of your failed relationship, trying to find some sense of closure that always seemed just out of reach.

those talks were punctuated by silences filled with the quiet clicking of a lighter, the soft exhale of smoke as you shared a joint or two. the haze it brought was a welcome escape, a way to dull the sharp edges of your thoughts, to ease the relentless ache in your chest. it wasn’t a solution, but it was enough to get you through the night, to carry you to the next day. and on those days when the darkness seemed to press in too close, you relied on the small comforts you could control—a coin flipped to decide whether you would indulge in a few too many sweets or abstain from food altogether. it was a way of exerting some semblance of control over a life that felt like it was spiraling out of your grasp.

but after weeks of the same routine, you began to realize that you were merely existing, floating in a limbo of your own making. the conversations, the indulgences, the vices—they were all temporary fixes, distractions that couldn’t mask the hollow feeling that had settled in your chest. you were tired of it, tired of feeling like a shadow of yourself, tired of being weighed down by the remnants of a love that was never truly yours.

and so, one night, as you stared into the mirror, you made up your mind. you were going to step out of the bubble you had been living in, to let loose, if only for a single night. you reasoned that if he could spend two years indulging in every whim and desire, seemingly without consequence, then why couldn’t you do the same for just one night? why couldn’t you, for once, allow yourself the freedom to be someone else, to cast aside the constraints of who you were and embrace something—someone—new?

as you stood there, gazing at your reflection, you barely recognized the person staring back at you. your makeup was bold, the colors striking and uncharacteristic of your usual understated look. the dress you wore was scandalous, clinging to your curves in a way that made you feel both powerful and exposed. it was a look that screamed confidence, even if you didn’t fully feel it yet. but that was the point, wasn’t it? you were going to stop being you for just one night, just enough time to forget, to drown out the memories of a love that had never truly been yours.

you inhaled deeply, letting the air fill your lungs, steadying yourself for what was to come. Yyu weren’t sure what you were seeking—perhaps a fleeting connection, a momentary escape, someone who could make you forget all about him for a few hours. maybe you didn’t need to know. maybe it was enough to simply let nature take its course, to surrender to the night and whatever it might bring.

the club pulsed with a life of its own, the heavy bass thumping through the floor, reverberating in your chest as the neon lights cast erratic shadows across the crowd. bodies moved in sync with the music, a sea of motion and sound that made it easy to lose yourself if you let it. but your mind, despite the alcohol and the haze of smoke in the air, remained annoyingly sharp, focused on anything but the moment at hand.

you leaned closer to your friend, your voice slightly raised to be heard over the music. “did you hear about the new english and philosophy teacher? they’re replacing—”

ahe groaned, cutting you off with an exasperated look. “please,” she begged, placing a hand on your arm, “not tonight. can we just, for once, not talk about teachers or school or anything remotely responsible? we’re here to let loose, remember?”

you hesitated, the words dying on your lips. she wasn’t wrong. you were supposed to be here to escape, to forget, not to get caught up in the mundane details of your everyday life. but old habits died hard, and it was difficult to switch off the part of you that found comfort in routine and order, even when surrounded by chaos. still, you nodded, forcing a smile, and took a deep breath, letting the noise and the lights and the sheer energy of the place wash over you. “okay,” you said, more to yourself than to her. “okay, let’s do this.”

your friend grinned, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she reached for the bottle on the table. the label was foreign, the name of the alcohol something you couldn’t even begin to pronounce. that should have been your first warning, but tonight was all about ignoring those little voices of caution in your head. she poured a shot for you, and then one for herself, the clear liquid shimmering under the lights. “bottoms up,” she said, lifting her glass.

you mirrored her action, the cool glass pressed against your lips as you downed the shot in one swift motion. the burn was immediate, searing down your throat and settling heavily in your stomach. it was unpleasant, but it was also a distraction, a welcome one at that. you had no intention of focusing on the men who watched you from across the room, their eyes lingering on your exposed skin as if you were some kind of display piece. it made your skin crawl, but you forced yourself to ignore it, to focus on the drinking instead. the coin had been flipped, and tonight, apparently, drinking it all away was your new diet. so you did just that. another shot, then another, until the sharp edges of your thoughts began to blur and the leering gazes of strangers became easier to dismiss.

but then, in the midst of it all, you saw him. he was standing at the edge of the crowd, partially obscured by the throng of people. you didn’t see much at first, just a tall figure with a presence that drew your eye. He was turned slightly away, talking to someone, but something about him caught your attention, held it. you found yourself staring, your curiosity piqued in a way that the alcohol couldn’t dull. and then he turned around.

your eyes met, and the world seemed to slow for a moment, the noise around you fading into the background. he was gorgeous, that was your first thought. his features were sharp, striking—high cheekbones, a jawline that could cut glass, and eyes that were dark and intense, holding a depth that made you feel as though he could see right through you. there was a sweet smile on his lips, but it was his eyes that captivated you. there was something almost menacing in them, a contrast that sent a shiver down your spine.

he didn’t look away, and neither did you. for a moment, it was as if the two of you were the only ones in the room, a silent understanding passing between you despite the fact that you didn’t know him, and he didn’t know you. but that didn’t matter. not tonight. before you could second-guess yourself, you did something you wouldn’t normally do. you flashed him a smile, one that you hoped was confident, maybe even a little alluring, and silently prayed that the universe would take your side for once. that, just this once, everything would fall into place.

you turned back around, the music vibrating through your body as you reached for another drink, your hand shaking slightly as you grasped the cool glass. you brought it to your lips and downed it in one go, the burn familiar by now, comforting in its own way. the alcohol was your crutch tonight, something to hold onto as you navigated this unfamiliar terrain of letting go, of not being yourself for just one night. you prayed silently, to whatever or whoever might be listening, that he would come over. that the universe, for once, would be kind. and as if in answer to your unspoken wish, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

you turned, heart racing, and there he was. the man from across the room, the one whose gaze had pulled you in and held you captive. his smile was easy, confident, the kind that could make anyone believe that the night might hold something special, something just for you. “mind if i buy you a drink?” he asked, his voice low and smooth, carrying easily over the noise. “or have you had enough already?”

you smiled, fighting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all. fuck, not another drink or you might just convulse, you thought silently. but what you really said was, “you could keep me company, and i might make it worth your while.” he laughed, a sound that seemed to roll through you like the bass in the music, deep and warm. “i like that offer,” he said, as he took a seat next to you, his presence somehow making the world around you feel smaller, more intimate.

there was something about him, something that made you feel like the night was just beginning, like everything before this moment had been leading up to something. you looked at him, really looked at him, trying to decipher what it was that drew you to him, but all you could see were those eyes, that sharp jaw, the way he seemed to belong in a place like this, even if you didn’t. “what’s a guy like you doing alone in a place like this?” you asked, leaning in slightly, letting the alcohol loosen your tongue.

he shrugged, his expression casual, as if the answer didn’t matter much. “felt like it’d be nice for a change,” he replied, before his gaze slid back to you. “what about you?”

you sighed, the weight of the night settling on your shoulders. “i felt it’d be nice too,” you admitted, “but that feeling was dead wrong.” he laughed again, and the sound was a little sharper this time, a little more knowing. it made you pause, a sudden, unwelcome memory resurfacing—a project due tomorrow, something about socrates. you groaned inwardly, realizing how far you had strayed from your usual path, how this was so unlike you.

“a project,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him, the thought slipping out before you could stop it. he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “what about?”

“socrates,” you said with a hint of frustration. “i decided to do one on him, but it completely slipped my mind.” he scoffed lightly, a smirk playing on his lips. “poor choice, aristotle is much more influential.”

“okay, and?” you countered, a spark of your usual self peeking through. “socrates is the more seminal one.” his amusement deepened, his eyes studying you with renewed interest. “i can’t believe a smart thing like you is in a place like this.”

you frowned, the words not sitting well with you. they reminded you of everything you were trying to forget tonight, everything you didn’t want to be for just a few hours. “i don’t want to be a smart thing,” you said softly, almost to yourself. “not tonight.”

something in his expression shifted, softened, as he looked at you. he placed a hand on your thigh, the touch warm and steady, grounding you in a way that nothing else had that night. “are you sure you feel that way?” he asked gently, his voice low, the words carrying a weight you weren’t sure you could handle. you didn’t feel that way, not really. but tonight wasn’t about what you usually felt, or who you usually were. It was about letting go, about being someone else, if only for a little while. so you forced yourself to nod, even though a small voice in the back of your mind screamed that this wasn’t you, that this wasn’t right.

he seemed to sense your hesitation, but he didn’t push. instead, he simply said, “let me help you.” you opened your mouth to ask what he meant, but before you could, he was gently tugging your wrist, gesturing for you to follow him. your vision, blurred by the alcohol and the dim lighting, focused enough for you to see where he was leading you—to the back, to the private rooms. a sense of unease settled in your stomach, but you pushed it aside, telling yourself that this was what you wanted, what you needed.

you followed him, your heart pounding louder with each step. the corridor to the private rooms was dimly lit, the music a dull thrum in the background. as you walked, he glanced back at you, that same smile playing on his lips, the one that had stopped you in your tracks just minutes earlier. “i never got your name, sweetheart,” he said, his voice teasing, yet somehow sincere.

you gave him your name, “(y/n) (l/n),” the sound of it foreign in your own ears, as if it belonged to someone else. “and yours?” you asked, trying to hold onto the last vestiges of caution.

he turned to you fully then, his eyes meeting yours with a mixture of mischief and something else, something darker. “namjoon,” he said, the name rolling off his tongue with a confidence that matched everything else about him. “kim namjoon.” and as he said it, you felt the world shift slightly, as if that name carried more weight than you could understand. but you were too far gone to care, too far gone to do anything but follow him, to see where this night might lead, to forget about everything else—your project, your heartbreak, your old self—and lose yourself in the unknown, if only for a few hours.

the private room was dimly lit, the shadows playing across the walls as you and namjoon stepped inside. the door clicked shut behind you, a sound that seemed to echo in the small space, followed by the unmistakable turn of a lock. it felt final, as if you were sealing yourself off from the rest of the world, from everything you knew, leaving only this moment, this man, and the uncertain promise of the night ahead.

you couldn’t help but watch him as he moved, your eyes tracing the strong lines of his body. the way his broad shoulders filled the space, how his black shirt clung to the muscles beneath, made your heart race. his hands, veiny and strong, were relaxed by his sides, but you couldn’t stop imagining them wrapped around you, feeling their strength and gentleness at once. and his eyes—god, his eyes—were the most mesmerizing of all. they were dark, intense, and held a dangerous kind of allure, like something that could either save you or ruin you, depending on how close you got.

a flicker of doubt wormed its way into your mind. you worried you might not be enough, not for someone like him. he was so composed, so sure of himself, and you—well, you were there trying to forget who you were, trying to become someone else for just a night. what if that wasn’t enough? what if you weren’t enough? namjoon must have sensed your unease because his gaze softened, the same easy smile spreading across his lips as he approached you. his steps were unhurried, confident, and with each one, the air between you seemed to thicken, heavy with anticipation.

when he reached you, he didn’t say anything at first. he simply cupped your cheek in his hand, his touch warm, and surprisingly gentle. his thumb stroked your skin, the soft caress sending a shiver down your spine, and for a moment, all you could do was stare up at him, lost in the darkness of his eyes. “you’re not afraid, sweetheart, are you?” he asked, his voice a low purr that sent another shiver through you. it was a voice that could coax secrets from you, a voice that promised things you weren’t sure you were ready for but found yourself wanting anyway.

was it fear that you were feeling? the heat coursing through your veins, the quickened beat of your heart, the way your skin seemed to burn where he touched you—was that fear? you didn’t know, and the uncertainty of it all made you nervous. but you shook your head, trying to convince yourself as much as him that you weren’t afraid.

he didn’t seem entirely convinced. he let out a soft, almost playful, tsk, his thumb still brushing against your cheek. “you should use your words, yeah?” he coaxed, his tone teasing, but there was an edge of seriousness beneath it, something that told you he wanted you to be sure, that he wanted you to choose this, to choose him. “i promise i’m not,” you managed to say, your voice softer than you intended, but steady enough. it felt like a small victory, a way to prove to yourself that you could do this, that you could be this version of yourself, if only for a night.

it seemed to be enough for him. namjoon’s smile widened, and the warmth in his eyes deepened, drawing you in even further. he leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull away, to change your mind, but you didn’t. you couldn’t. you were caught, helpless under the spell he was weaving with every look, every touch. when his lips finally met yours, it was like the world stopped. the kiss was slow, deliberate, as if he was savoring the moment, tasting it, tasting you. his lips were soft but insistent, moving against yours with a controlled kind of passion that left you breathless. he wasn’t rushing, wasn’t pushing for more, just kissing you like he had all the time in the world and was determined to spend it unraveling you, piece by piece.

you responded tentatively at first, unsure of how to match the intensity of his kiss. but he guided you, his free hand sliding around your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were flush against each other. the heat between you flared, igniting something deep within you, something that made you press back against him, your lips parting slightly as you began to lose yourself in the feel of him. namjoon took the invitation, deepening the kiss as his tongue brushed against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through you. it wasn’t just a kiss—it was a claiming, a way of marking this moment as something significant, something more than just a fleeting encounter in a club. you could feel the way he held you, firm yet gentle, as if he was trying to tell you something without words, trying to show you how he could make you forget everything, even if just for tonight.

your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping them as if they were the only thing keeping you grounded. his body was solid, reassuring, and the way he held you made you feel small, but in a good way, like you were being enveloped by something safe, something you could trust, even if only for these few stolen hours. he pulled back slightly, just enough to break the kiss, and rested his forehead against yours. his breath was warm against your lips, mingling with your own, and for a moment, the two of you just stood there, breathing together, the air thick with the tension and the promise of what was to come.

“you sure about this?” he asked again, his voice a whisper in the small space between you. his eyes searched yours, looking for any hint of doubt, any sign that you weren’t ready. but you were ready. or at least, you wanted to be. you nodded, your hand coming up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. it was calming in a way, a reminder that despite everything, despite the chaos in your own heart, there was something steady, something real, right in front of you. and so, with the taste of him still lingering on your lips, you whispered back, “i’m sure.”

his smile grew, and his hand slid down to the hem of your dress. with one swift tug, he pulled it over your head, revealing your bare skin to the cool air of the room. you felt exposed, vulnerable, but his gaze was like a warm blanket, wrapping around you, making you feel seen and desired. his eyes raked over you, pausing at your tits, your stomach, your hips, and you felt your cheeks flush with heat. he stepped back just enough to take you in, his gaze lingering on your lacy black bra, the one you’d picked out specifically for tonight, hoping it would be enough to catch his eye.

his hands went to his own shirt, and he began to unbutton it, one button at a time, his eyes never leaving yours. the anticipation was almost unbearable, the slow reveal of his chest, his abs, the v of his hips disappearing into his pants. when he was finally bare-chested, you couldn’t help but stare. he was beautiful, sculpted in a way that made your mouth water, and you felt a sudden urge to reach out, to trace every line and curve with your fingertips.

before you could act on the impulse, namjoon stepped closer again, his hand sliding up your back to unclasp your bra. it fell away, and your tits spilled into his waiting hands. his thumbs brushed over your nipples, and you gasped at the sensation, the pleasure shooting straight to your core. his eyes never left yours as he played with you, teasing you, watching as your breath grew shallower, as your eyes glazed over with lust. “you like that, don’t you?” he murmured, his voice a dark promise. and you nodded, unable to form coherent words as he continued to toy with your sensitive flesh, rolling your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, tugging gently until you were squirming against him.

his other hand slid down to your ass, squeezing it firmly, and he stepped closer, pressing his growing erection against your stomach. it was a clear message, one that sent a bolt of excitement through you, making you even wetter than you already were. without breaking eye contact, he leaned down to whisper in your ear, his breath hot against your skin, “you’re so fucking pretty. can’t wait to ruin you.” the words sent a shiver down your spine, and you nodded, your voice a breathless agreement.

his hand moved from your ass to the hem of your panties, and with a quick pull, they were pooled around your ankles, leaving you in absolutely nothing. he knelt down, kissing a trail from your belly button to one your hips, and you could feel the dampness seeping onto his fingers. his fingers slid down your legs, relishing in the fact that you were completely bare before him. his eyes took in the sight of you, and you could see the hunger in them, the desire that mirrored your own.

his hand slid up your thigh, his thumb brushing against your clit, making you jump. he chuckled, a low, dark sound that sent shivers through your body. “you’re sensitive, aren’t you?” he asked, his voice a purr that made you want to melt into him. “yes,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “good, i like that in a woman.”

his hand slid away, and you felt a pang of loss, but it was quickly replaced by the pressure of his mouth on your pussy, his tongue sliding through your folds, tasting you. your legs trembled, and you had to hold onto his shoulders to keep from collapsing. his tongue was skilled, teasing and probing, making you gasp and moan with every stroke. you’d never felt anything like this before, never been this exposed, this wanton. and as he worked you over, you realized you didn’t care. all you cared about was the feel of his mouth on you, the way he was making you feel.

his tongue circled your clit, and you felt your orgasm building, a pressure that grew and grew until you couldn’t hold it back any longer. you cried out, your body shaking as you came, the sensation overwhelming you. namjoon didn’t stop, didn’t ease up, just kept licking and sucking until you were a trembling mess, your legs barely able to hold you up.

he stood, a smug smile on his face, and you couldn’t help but stare at his erection, straining against his pants. he noticed your gaze and chuckled, reaching down to free himself. “you want it?” he asked, stroking himself, and you nodded, your mouth dry with need. he led you to the bed, pushing you down gently. “spread your legs for me,” he said, his voice a command that sent a thrill through you. you did as he asked, your heart racing as he climbed on top of you. he positioned himself at your entrance, and without any preamble, pushed inside you. you gasped, the sensation of his size filling you up, stretching you in the most delicious way.

his thrusts were deep and deliberate, hitting that perfect spot inside you that made you see stars. you wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him deeper, your nails digging into his back. he groaned, the sound sending waves of pleasure through you. “you’re so tight, so wet,” he murmured, his breath hot in your ear. “feel so good around me, baby.”

his hand found your ass, and he began to spank you lightly, the sting melding with the pleasure, pushing you closer to the edge again. you moaned, your hips moving in sync with his, your body begging for more. “yes, like that,” you panted, and he complied, his hand coming down harder, the smack echoing in the room.

his movements grew more urgent, his breath coming in harsh pants against your neck. “you’re gonna cum for me again, aren’t you?” he growled, his teeth grazing your skin. “yes, yes, please, namjoon,” you whimpered, unable to hold back the words that spilled from your lips.

his hand moved to your clit, his thumb pressing down as he thrust into you. the pressure was too much, and you shattered, your body clenching around him as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. he followed closely behind, his own orgasm ripping through him, his body taut with the effort to hold off until you reached yours.

as you both came down from the high, he collapsed on top of you, his weight feeling surprisingly comforting. you could feel his heart hammering against your chest, matching the beat of your own. he kissed your neck, his breathing still ragged, and whispered, “you’re mine for the night, remember that.” and as you lay there, his cock still inside you, you realized you didn’t want it any other way.

his kisses grew softer, more tender, as his hand slid up to cup your cheek. he pulled out slowly, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness, but before you could miss it too much, he rolled onto his back, pulling you with him so that you were straddling him. he was still hard, and the feeling of him between your thighs was enough to make you want more. “ride me, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire.

you didn’t need any more encouragement than that. you positioned yourself over him, your hands on his chest for balance as you began to slide up and down, his cock filling you with every movement. the sensation was different like this, the angle hitting you in new, delicious ways. you moaned, throwing your head back as you found a rhythm that made your toes curl. namjoon’s hands roamed your body, caressing your tits, your waist, your hips, guiding you, pushing you to go faster, to take him deeper.

his eyes never left yours, watching you with a hunger that made you feel powerful, like you could do anything. and as you moved above him, grinding down on his length, you realized that maybe you could. you felt alive in a way you hadn’t in a long time, free from the constraints of who you were outside of this room.

his thumb found your clit again, and he began to rub it in slow, deliberate circles. your eyes rolled back in your head, and you leaned down to kiss him, your movements growing erratic as you approached the edge once more. he swallowed your moans, his own hips bucking up to meet yours, pushing you closer and closer. you felt it building, the tension coiling in your belly, tightening around his cock. your muscles clenched, and you gripped his shoulders, your nails digging in as you came, your body shaking with the force of it. namjoon’s grip on your hips tightened, his own orgasm following quickly after, his cock pulsing inside you.

you collapsed against him, your breaths mingling, your bodies slick with sweat. his arms wrapped around you, holding you close, and for a moment, you just enjoyed the feeling of him, the way he filled you up in more ways than one. as you caught your breath, you couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of the night would bring. would it be more of this? or would it end with the club, a memory that you’d cherish forever? either way, you knew you’d never forget the way he’d made you feel—like you were the only thing that mattered, like you were the most important person in the world. and as you felt his heart beating in time with yours, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t need to be anyone else but yourself to be enough.

the pale light of dawn was beginning to filter through the cracks in the curtains when you stirred, the dim glow pulling you out of a deep, dreamless sleep. it took you a moment to remember where you were. the unfamiliar surroundings, the dimly lit room, and the soft, warm body lying next to you—everything came rushing back in a disorienting wave. the events of the night before flashed in your mind, and with them, the realization of what time it must be.

your heart began to race as the panic set in. morning classes. you had morning classes, and you weren’t in your bed, you weren’t even in your apartment—you were still here, in a private room that now felt too intimate, too close. you sat up carefully, trying not to disturb namjoon, who was still sleeping peacefully beside you. the sheets were tangled around you both, his hand resting on your thigh, his chest rising and falling with each slow, steady breath.

your gaze dropped to him, taking in the sight of his relaxed features, his slightly tousled hair, the way the early morning light played across his face. he looked almost boyish in his sleep, the sharpness in his eyes softened, his usually confident demeanor replaced by something more vulnerable. it was a sight that made your heart warm, despite the chaos swirling in your mind. for a moment, you hesitated. there was a strange comfort in being there with him, in the warmth of his presence and the softness of the bed beneath you. part of you wanted to stay, to curl back up against him, to let the world outside wait a little longer. but reality was a harsh companion, and the ticking clock in your mind reminded you that you had responsibilities, a life that didn’t include waking up in a stranger’s bed after a night of reckless abandon.

you gently lifted his hand off your thigh, sliding out of bed as quietly as you could. your feet touched the cool floor, sending a shiver up your spine as you quickly scanned the room for your clothes. they were scattered across the floor—your dress draped over a chair, your shoes lying haphazardly near the door, your bag tucked under the bed. as you gathered your things, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at namjoon. he was still asleep, his breathing deep and even, one arm stretched out across the bed where you had just been. you paused, taking in the way he looked so at peace, a contrast to the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling.

you dressed quickly, your movements hurried but careful not to make too much noise. the dress, once sleek and form-fitting, now felt slightly wrinkled and askew as you slipped it back on. your fingers fumbled with the zipper, your mind too distracted by the thought of the morning ahead and the fact that you were nowhere near ready for it. just as you reached for your bag, you heard a rustling behind you. you froze, praying he wouldn’t wake up, but when you turned around, there he was—propped up on one elbow, his eyes half-open, still heavy with sleep, but focused on you.

“where are you going?” he asked, his voice rough and low, still laced with the remnants of sleep. the sound of it sent a small thrill through you, even as you tried to calm your racing heart. “i have morning classes,” you replied, your voice quiet, almost apologetic. you weren’t sure why you felt the need to apologize, but something about the situation—the intimacy of the moment, the fact that you were leaving so abruptly—made you feel like you owed him an explanation.

namjoon blinked, his gaze sharpening slightly as he processed your words. he sat up fully, the sheets pooling around his waist as he ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier. “you won’t even let me treat you to breakfast?” he asked, a small, playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. you couldn’t help but smile back, though it was tinged with regret. “maybe another time,” you said, already moving toward the door. “but i really can’t be late for my classes.”

he watched you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before he nodded. “i’ll see you around, then,” he said, his tone easy, but there was a note of something else in it, something that made your chest tighten slightly. you paused at the door, your hand on the handle, and turned back to him. “i had a good time,” you said, the words coming out softer than you intended, but they were true. despite everything, despite the way the morning had come too soon, you didn’t regret the night before.

he smiled again, that warm, disarming smile that had drawn you in from the start. “so did i.” with that, you slipped out of the room, the door closing softly behind you. the corridor outside was empty, the muffled thump of music from the club below barely audible through the thick walls. you hurried down the hallway, your mind racing with a million thoughts—what you were going to say if anyone saw you, how you were going to explain the state you were in, and most importantly, how you were going to make it to class on time.

the drive back to your apartment was a blur, your hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly as you sped through the early morning streets. the city was still waking up, the sun just beginning to rise, casting a pale, golden light over everything. you barely noticed, too focused on the task at hand—getting home, getting dressed, and somehow making it to class without looking like you had just rolled out of someone else’s bed. when you finally pulled up to your apartment, you nearly tripped over your own feet in your haste to get inside. the keys fumbled in your hand, slipping once, twice, before you managed to unlock the door and rush inside. your apartment was quiet, the kind of stillness that comes with the early morning hours, and for a brief moment, you let yourself pause, leaning against the door as you caught your breath.

there was no time to waste. you darted into your bedroom, shedding your dress and tossing it onto the bed as you rifled through your closet for your uniform. the blouse was slightly wrinkled, the skirt a little too short for your liking, but there was no time to worry about that now. you yanked the blouse on, your fingers clumsy as they buttoned it up, tucking it into the skirt with a haste that left it slightly uneven, but you didn’t care. you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you hurried to the bathroom, and winced. your makeup was a mess, the once-perfect red lipstick now faded to a nude smudge, your eyeliner smeared, leaving dark circles beneath your eyes that made you look more like a raccoon than the confident, put-together student you were supposed to be.

there was no time for a full fix, but you did what you could—wiping away the worst of the smudges with a makeup wipe, reapplying a thin layer of a lighter lpstick, and hoping that no one would look too closely. your hair was another matter entirely, tangled and wild from the night before, but a quick brush through had to suffice. with one last look in the mirror—satisfied that you were at least presentable—you grabbed your bag and bolted out the door, your heart pounding in your chest as you rushed to make it to class on time. you didn’t allow yourself to think about namjoon, about the way he had looked at you as you left, or the way his voice had lingered in your mind, soft and warm. there would be time for that later—maybe.

you made it to class just before the bell rang, your breath still a little uneven from the mad dash across campus. the relief that washed over you was short-lived, though, as you barely had time to compose yourself before you felt eyes on you. you caught soobin’s glance from the corner of your eye—he was the kind of friend who could read you like a book, even on your best days, and today was far from your best.

feigning being startled at your sudden appearance, soobin exaggeratedly flinched, his eyes widening in mock surprise before breaking into a smile. “well, well,” he drawled, his tone teasing, “i didn’t think you were gonna make it. i was about to call search and rescue.” you scowled at him, trying to ignore the way his smirk widened. but before you could retort, he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “so, how much is a night?”

his words were laced with humor, but they hit too close to home. you glared at him, a retort already on your lips. “you couldn’t afford it,” you shot back, your tone sharp, but there was no real heat behind it. the truth was too raw, too close to the surface, and you weren’t in the mood to joke about it. as you settled into your seat between soobin and heewon, you could feel the tension beginning to ease—only slightly, though. the classroom was slowly filling up, students chatting idly as they waited for class to begin, but you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach.

heewon, who had been flipping through her notes, glanced up at you and immediately burst into laughter at the sight of your disheveled appearance. “god, you pull off the messy whore look really well,” she teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “almost like hyuna.” you rolled your eyes, not in the mood for jokes. “not today, hee,” you muttered, reaching into your bag to pull out a small mirror. you avoided looking at her directly as you adjusted your hair, trying to tame the unruly strands that refused to cooperate.

your reflection was unkind, showing the toll the morning’s rush had taken on you—your blouse was still slightly untucked, your skirt wrinkled from where you’d hastily shoved it on, and your lipstick was more of a faint suggestion than an actual color. heewon didn’t miss a beat, though. “if i didn’t know you,” she continued, her voice light and teasing, “i’d say you actually had that one-night stand you were talking about.”

the words hung in the air, and you froze, your hand stilling mid-motion as you applied another layer of nude lipstick. your blood ran cold as you slowly turned to look at her, your expression a mask of forced nonchalance. but she wasn’t fooled—her eyes widened in realization, shock flooding her features as she stared at you. “no way,” she breathed, a little too loud for comfort. her eyes darted around the room, but most of the other students were too engrossed in their own conversations to notice. she leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “with who?”

you slapped her arm lightly, more out of habit than actual reprimand, and opened your mouth to answer. but before you could get a word out, the door to the classroom creaked open. the sudden silence that fell over the room was deafening, everyone’s attention snapping to the front as the principal stepped inside. he was a tall, stern-looking man with graying hair and sharp eyes, the kind of person who commanded respect without having to say much. he cleared his throat, and the last of the murmurs died away as he addressed the class.

“i’m sure most of you are aware by now that mister im has decided to leave us,” the principal began, his voice measured and calm. “but i wanted to personally introduce you all to your new english and philosophy professor.” there was a pause as he turned to the door, gesturing for the man outside to step in. the classroom was so quiet that you could hear the faint rustle of papers, the shifting of feet—everyone waiting with bated breath for the new teacher to make his entrance. and then he stepped in.

the world seemed to slow down as your eyes locked onto the man walking through the door. everything else fell away—the murmurs of the students, the sound of the clock ticking on the wall, even the very breath in your lungs—all of it disappeared as your gaze fixed on him. it was him. the man you had spent the night with, the one whose name you had whispered in the dim light of the private room just hours before. and now, here he was, standing in front of you as your new professor.

namjoon—no, professor kim namjoon—mister kim? whatever he was going to be called from that point on, froze in his tracks, his eyes scanning the room before they landed on you. for a moment, he looked just as shocked as you felt, his gaze narrowing slightly as if trying to make sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. but there was no mistaking it—you were as real as they came, sitting there with wide eyes and a racing heart, just as he was standing there, trying to process the impossibility of the situation.

the principal, oblivious to the tension crackling in the air, turned to namjoon, his voice breaking the silence. “is everything okay?” namjoon blinked, snapping out of whatever thoughts had been running through his mind. he cleared his throat, his expression smoothing into something more composed, though you could see the faint tension in his jaw. “yes, everything’s fine,” he replied, his voice steady, but you could hear the slight edge to it, the barely perceptible waver that only someone who knew him—or had spent the night with him—might notice.

he turned back to the class, his gaze sweeping over the rows of students, but his eyes remained firmly on you as he introduced himself. “i’m professor kim namjoon,” he said, his voice carrying through the room with a quiet authority. “i’ll be your new english and philosophy instructor.” you were stunned into silence, your mind reeling as you tried to process what was happening. the man who had been a nameless stranger just hours before was now your professor, standing there in front of the entire class, his attention seemingly focused on you alone.

there was a brief moment where you thought you might faint, the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a lead blanket. but then namjoon’s gaze softened, just slightly, and you saw something there—recognition, yes, but also something else. a flicker of concern, perhaps, or maybe just a shared understanding of the gravity of the situation. and then, just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by the calm, composed demeanor of a professor addressing his class. he began speaking again, introducing the syllabus and his expectations for the course, but you barely heard a word of it. all you could focus on was the fact that your night of recklessness had followed you here, into the one place you had thought was safe, and there was no escaping it now.

as he continued to speak, you forced yourself to sit up straighter, to adopt the same mask of composure he had. but inside, you were anything but calm. your mind was racing, your thoughts tangled in a web of confusion and disbelief. heewon nudged you, her eyes wide as she glanced between you and namjoon, clearly sensing something was off but not daring to ask. soobin, for once, was silent, his usual teasing smirk replaced by a look of genuine concern.

but none of it mattered. not really. because as namjoon’s gaze flickered back to you, just for a moment, you knew that it was far from over. the connection you had felt the night before was still there, humming beneath the surface, and there was no telling where it might lead—or what it might cost you. the bell rang, signaling the start of class, but for you, it felt like the beginning of something else entirely.

namjoon had composed himself almost too well for someone who had just discovered an unexpected connection in his classroom. his voice was steady, professional, as he launched into the introduction of the day's topic—a deep dive into existential philosophy, a subject that would set the tone for the entire semester. his words flowed with an easy confidence, drawing the attention of the entire class, but your mind was a whirlwind, struggling to keep up with the reality of the situation. as he spoke, you found yourself stealing glances at him, trying to reconcile the man who stood before you now with the one you had been so intimately close to just hours ago. every time his eyes drifted toward you, your gaze would dart away, your heart beating too fast, too loud.

just as you were beginning to gather your thoughts, namjoon posed a question to the class, inviting anyone to share what they knew about existentialism. before you could react, heewon’s hand shot up beside you. “oh, (y/n) knows all about that,” she announced, her voice light with an undercurrent of mischief. she shot you a sideways glance, one eyebrow raised as if daring you to deny it.

you turned to face her, your eyes pleading, practically begging her to drop it. but she was never one to back down from a moment like this, especially when she sensed there was more to the story. your warning gaze seemed to only fuel her amusement. namjoon’s eyes flicked from heewon to you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “is that so?” he asked, his tone carrying a playful edge that only you seemed to notice. “i figured you’d know it. you probably know most of the plan and program.”

his words hung in the air, the double meaning not lost on you. there was an almost imperceptible pause before he continued, his gaze locked onto yours. “why don’t you tell us what you know?” you swallowed hard, your mind racing to find an answer, any answer. but all you could think about was the night before—the way his voice had sounded in your ear, the warmth of his skin against yours. the memories clouded your thoughts, making it impossible to focus on the question he’d asked.

you opened your mouth, but no words came out. the silence stretched on, heavy and awkward, until soobin nudged you gently from the other side. his elbow digging into your ribs jolted you back to reality, and you forced yourself to speak. “sartre believed that existence precedes essence,” you began, your voice quieter than usual, barely above a whisper. “it means that we're born without purpose, and it’s our responsibility to give our lives meaning through our actions.”

namjoon’s smile widened, a look of approval crossing his face. “outstanding,” he said, his tone genuine, almost too warm. he paused for a moment, his gaze softening as he asked, “what’s your name?” the question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you were silent again, unable to form a response. it was as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you, the classroom and the other students fading into the background. your mouth opened, but no sound came out, the weight of his gaze rendering you speechless.

another nudge from soobin brought you back to the present. you blinked, realizing that you had to respond. “it’s (y/n) (l/n),” you finally managed, your voice barely above a whisper. namjoon nodded, a hint of something unreadable in his expression as he repeated your name, letting it linger in the air. “(y/n),” he said softly, almost like he was testing how it felt on his tongue. “thank you for sharing.”

you could feel heewon’s eyes on you, a mixture of curiosity and realization dawning on her face. she wasn’t a fool—she had seen the way you had reacted, the way namjoon had looked at you, and it didn’t take long for her to start putting the pieces together. but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about what she thought, not when all you could focus on was him. he continued with the lecture, but you hardly heard a word of it. every time he turned back to the class, your gaze would drop to your desk, your heart thudding in your chest. the tension in the room was palpable, and you could tell that soobin and heewon were both aware of it, even if they didn’t fully understand why.

after what felt like an eternity, namjoon began handing out sheets of paper, instructing the class to spend the next fifteen minutes writing an essay on the topic he had introduced. you barely registered the words, your mind still caught up in the swirl of emotions from earlier. when he reached your desk, he paused, his movements slower, more deliberate. as he set the paper down in front of you, his hand brushed against your fingers, the contact brief but electric. you looked up at him, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. his eyes locked onto yours, and you saw something in them—a flicker of desire, maybe, or perhaps just a shared acknowledgment of the impossible situation you both found yourselves in.

he took his bottom lip between his teeth, a small, almost imperceptible gesture that sent a shiver down your spine. the air between you crackled with tension, so thick that you could almost taste it. namjoon didn’t miss the look in your eyes, nor did he miss the way your thighs clenched together involuntarily at the sight of him. his gaze dropped for just a second before he looked back at you, his expression unreadable but intense.

heewon and soobin exchanged a worried look, sensing that something was off but unsure of what to make of it. but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. all that mattered was the man standing in front of you, the man who had somehow become both a stranger and something more in the span of just one night. namjoon lingered for a moment longer before moving on to the next student, but the heat of his touch stayed with you, lingering on your skin long after he had stepped away. you stared down at the blank sheet of paper in front of you, your mind a chaotic mess of thoughts and emotions, wondering how you were supposed to focus on anything else when the only thing you could think about was him.

you stared at the blank sheet of paper for what felt like forever, your thoughts swirling in a chaotic mess. the memory of Namjoon’s touch lingered on your skin, his presence looming over you despite him moving on to the next student. every word you tried to write felt forced, disjointed, as if your mind was too occupied with the events of the night before to form a coherent sentence. but you pushed through, forcing yourself to focus, to string together an essay that would meet namjoon’s expectations—or at least not embarrass yourself in front of him. you could feel his eyes on you occasionally as he walked around the room, checking on the other students, and every time, it made your heart race and your fingers tremble.

finally, you managed to write something—an essay that was far from your best work, but at least it was done. the bell rang, its sharp sound jolting you out of your thoughts. you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, relief washing over you as namjoon dismissed the class with a curt nod. the scraping of chairs and the shuffling of feet filled the room as everyone stood up and turned in their papers. you gathered your things slowly, hoping to blend in with the crowd, to escape without another encounter with him. as you moved toward the front to turn in your essay, soobin and heewon caught your attention.

“we’ll wait outside for you,” soobin said, a smirk playing on his lips as if he knew something you didn’t. your eyes pleaded with him, silently begging him not to leave you alone in this classroom. but it was too late; they were already heading out the door, leaving you and namjoon as the last ones in the room. you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, but you kept your eyes down, refusing to meet it. you set your paper on his desk, trying to make a quick exit.

but just as you reached the door, his voice stopped you. “i didn’t know you went to college here.” you froze, every muscle in your body tensing at his words. you slowly turned around, forcing yourself to face him, your heart pounding in your chest. “i didn’t know you worked here,” you replied, your voice barely steady.

the silence that followed was thick with tension, the air heavy with everything that was left unsaid. you could see the conflict in his eyes, the same uncertainty that mirrored your own. for a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the situation pressing down on you both. then he cleared his throat, the sound cutting through the silence like a knife. his gaze hardened, the warmth from earlier replaced with something colder, more distant. “please only refer to me as your professor from now on,” he said, his voice firm, leaving no room for argument.

the words hit you like a punch to the gut, the finality of them sinking in. it felt like your heart was physically breaking, the pain sharp and immediate. you opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out, the lump in your throat making it impossible to speak. he paused, his eyes flickering with something unreadable before he continued. “pretend like anything we had didn’t happen, for our sake.”

you nodded, the motion stiff and mechanical, even as the nausea churned in your stomach. it felt like the ground was slipping out from under you, like you were free-falling and there was nothing to catch you. but you forced a small, tight-lipped smile, doing your best to hide the turmoil inside. “see you next period, professor kim,” you managed to say, your voice trembling slightly. without waiting for a response, you turned and walked out of the room, your legs feeling like they were made of lead. every step felt heavier than the last, the weight of his words pressing down on you. as you pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway, the noise and bustle of the other students barely registered.

all you could think about was the way he had looked at you, the coldness in his eyes, and the realization that whatever connection you had felt the night before was now nothing but a distant memory. you could still feel the ghost of his touch on your skin, the memory of his voice in your ear, but it all felt so far away now, like a dream that had ended too soon. heewon and soobin were waiting for you just outside the classroom, their expressions shifting from playful to concerned the moment they saw you. heewon opened her mouth to say something, but you shook your head, silently begging her not to ask. you couldn’t talk about it, not now—not when everything felt so raw, so real.

the day felt like a blur as you made your way through the bustling hallways, trying to shake off the weight of the morning’s events. you met up with soobin and heewon during your free period, desperate for some semblance of normalcy. the café in the student center was a welcome escape, its warm lighting and soft chatter offering a brief respite from the chaos in your mind. you slid into a booth with them, the leather seats creaking under the weight of your exhaustion. you barely registered the vibrant colors and bustling activity around you, too preoccupied with the events of the morning.

“so,” soobin said, leaning in with an inquisitive look. “what the hell happened between you and professor kim?” you took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. with a heavy sigh, you began recounting the events of the previous night—everything from the club, the fleeting connection with namjoon, to the morning’s abrupt encounter in class. your friends listened in stunned silence, their eyes widening with each detail.

when you finished, soobin’s jaw dropped, his eyes darting between you and heewon. “i didn’t expect that,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. heewon, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with excitement. “you’re kidding me,” she said, her eyes shining with admiration. “he’s like, the hottest professor ever. you did good, really good.”

you managed a weak smile at her enthusiasm, feeling a twinge of warmth despite the tumult inside. as you looked around, your gaze fell upon namjoon again, this time surrounded by a swarm of female students. they clustered around him, offering water and engaging in casual conversation. his earlier gaze had been replaced by a smile that was charming but distant, his attention firmly on his admirers. “guess you aren’t his only fan,” soobin remarked dryly, his tone carrying a hint of amusement.

you turned back to your friends, trying to mask the tightness in your chest. “i don’t care,” you said, your voice carrying a trace of frustration. “i’m not allowed to care.” heewon placed a reassuring hand on your arm, her eyes softening with sympathy. “look on the bright side,” she said gently. “you got over your ex, if anything. and maybe, in some weird way, this is a chance to start fresh.”

her words were meant to be comforting, but they only served to remind you of the painful truth. the breakup with your ex had left you vulnerable and searching for validation, and namjoon’s presence had complicated everything in ways you hadn’t anticipated. but you nodded, appreciating her attempt to offer perspective. you managed a grateful smile, the gesture feeling heavy but sincere. as you sipped your coffee, the bitter taste seemed to mirror the complexity of your emotions. the conversation drifted, and you tried to focus on the mundane topics your friends brought up, but your thoughts kept returning to namjoon.

the next day unfolded with a disorienting sense of déjà vu, as if you were trapped in a cycle you couldn’t escape. the english period began with a heaviness in your chest, a reminder of the previous day’s awkward encounter with namjoon. his presence was now a constant, uncomfortable weight, and you braced yourself for another session of tense interactions. he entered the classroom, his authoritative stride commanding immediate attention. he took his place at the front, his gaze scanning the room with a sharpness that made your skin prickle. the air seemed charged with unspoken tension as he began his lesson, his voice smooth but carrying an edge.

throughout the class, it became increasingly clear that namjoon was deliberately targeting you. his questions were relentless, designed to probe and unsettle. his piercing eyes would lock onto you as he asked complex questions about the texts you’d studied. “so,” he said, his tone casual but with an undercurrent of challenge, “can you tell me how socrates’ concept of virtue contrasts with plato’s theory of forms?” you stumbled over your answer, your mind racing to piece together a coherent response. “um, socrates—he believed that virtue was a form of knowledge, right? and plato, well, he thought virtue was tied to the ideal forms?”

namjoon clicked his tongue disapprovingly, the sound echoing through the classroom. “not quite. socrates did indeed view virtue as a form of knowledge, but plato’s theory of forms goes beyond that, focusing on the ideal forms as the true reality of virtue.” the click of his tongue felt like a stinging reprimand, and you could feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment. from behind, soobin offered a comforting wink, his eyes twinkling with mischief. you smiled back, grateful for his support, even if you didn’t fully understand his intentions.

as namjoon moved through the rows, he handed back the essays with a stoic expression. when he reached your table, he paused, his eyes scanning your paper. “you can do better,” he said, despite the high mark you’d received. his voice was flat, dismissive, and it stung more than the failing grade could have.

soobin leaned over as his eyes raked over the positive mark on your paper, a smirk playing on his lips. he whispered, “congratulations,” before wrapping his arms around your neck in a gesture that surprised you. he pressed a light kiss to your cheek, the touch warm and reassuring. “well done,” he added, his voice low and almost conspiratorial. you leaned into his embrace, finding solace in the brief moment of affection. it was partly for show, a subtle defiance in the face of namjoon’s scrutiny, but it felt genuine enough to offer a small comfort. as he pulled away, you couldn’t help but notice namjoon’s eyes flicking toward you, his expression unreadable but his demeanor tense.

the moment was shattered when soobin dropped his pencil, its clatter startlingly loud in the quiet classroom. he turned to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and said, “could you get that for me?” you nodded, bending over to retrieve the pencil. the motion was unavoidably revealing, your short skirt riding up just enough to provide a provocative view. you could feel namjoon’s gaze on you, intense and almost overwhelming. as you picked up the pencil, you glanced up to see soobin’s eyes fixed on you, his gaze deliberate and knowing.

you handed the pencil back to him, who responded with a smirk, “thank you, sweetheart.” namjoon’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening as he watched the interaction. his knuckles whitened around the stack of papers in his hand, the sheets crumpling under the pressure of his grip. the sight of soobin’s gaze on you seemed to inflame his irritation, and he struggled to maintain his composure. the tension broke when he suddenly snapped, “pop quiz.”

the sharpness of his command cut through the room, drawing startled gasps from the students. you looked back to see soobin’s smirk widening, a silent acknowledgment of the provocation. you couldn’t help but return his smirk, feeling a mix of amusement and defiance. as he began distributing the quiz papers, the atmosphere in the room shifted. the playful energy between you and soobin contrasted sharply with namjoon’s stern demeanor.

the bell's chime reverberated through the classroom, signaling the end of the period. as students shuffled to their feet, handing in their quizzes with murmurs of relief, you lingered behind, finalizing your answers and tapping the pencil against the paper. you were the last to submit your quiz once again, and as you made your way to the front, you glanced at the clock, calculating how much time you had before your next class.

with your quiz in hand, you approached namjoon's desk, determined to leave the room as quickly as possible. however, as you turned to head for the door, namjoon's voice stopped you in your tracks. “come here,” he commanded, his tone firm yet laden with an undercurrent of something else. your stomach tightened at the sound of his voice. “is everything okay, professor kim?” you asked, your voice steady despite the flutter of anxiety in your chest.

namjoon's posture stiffened, a subtle shift in his demeanor that you noticed immediately. he adjusted himself in his chair, spreading his legs slightly. as you met his gaze, your eyes flickered momentarily to the front of his pants. specifically, the painfully visible tent in his pants that had been rightfully covered by his desk. now, you were able to get a clear view of it and, fuck, was it obvious. the sight was unsettling, a realization that you forced yourself to ignore.

he leaned forward slightly, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart race. “did you enjoy the show you put on today?” he asked, his voice low and carrying an edge of challenge. you struggled to maintain composure. “i have no idea what you're talking about,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady and focused. your gaze danced around the room, avoiding the direction of his gaze.

his expression hardened slightly. without breaking eye contact, he reached for a stapler on his desk and tossed it lightly in front of you. “pick it up for me,” he instructed, his tone carrying a hushed command. you swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his command. his voice seemed to reverberate through you, causing an involuntary clenching in your thighs. you turned around and bent over to retrieve the stapler, your skirt rising above your hips with the motion. the fabric brushed against your legs as you reached for the stapler, the movement eliciting a sharp intake of breath from namjoon.

as you stood up and placed the stapler back on his desk, you tried to keep your gaze forward. namjoon’s eyes followed you, and you could sense the tension in the air thickening. “come here,” he murmured again, his voice softer but still carrying the same underlying authority. you hesitated, fighting the urge to defy him. but the knowledge that resistance was futile made you comply. you approached him, feeling his gaze on you as you moved closer. when you were within arm’s reach, he reached out and drew you gently into his lap, his grip firm yet careful.

you could feel it, the clothed tent in his pants pressing into the bare flesh of your thigh, it sent goosebumps all arouns your skin. his lips brushed against the side of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “are you happy knowing that the boys are getting off to this ass of yours?” he asked, his voice a dark purr against your skin. you tried to muster a response, a smirk curling on your lips as you said, “yeah, the boys are real nice to me.” the words felt hollow, a weak attempt to mask your discomfort.

namjoon chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your neck. his hand pressed against you, and you could feel the firmness of his body beneath you. “you don’t need them,” he said, his voice dropping to a deeper, more possessive tone. “you need a man.” your breath caught in your throat, the situation spiraling beyond your control.

his hand slid up to cup your breast, squeezing it gently through your shirt. the fabric was thin, offering no real barrier to his touch. your nipples tightened, and you gasped. “is this what you want?” he murmured, his thumb brushing over the peak. “to be manhandled by some immature college boys?” his other hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling your face towards his. his lips captured yours in a bruising kiss, one that was as much about power as it was passion. your body responded instinctively, arching into him. his tongue pushed into your mouth, and you could taste the mint from his gum, a stark contrast to the earthy scent of his cologne.

his hand moved from your neck to the hem of your shirt, sliding it up to expose your bare skin. his teeth grazed your bottom lip before he pulled away, leaving you panting. “now, let’s see how wet you get when you’re being punished by your professor,” he said, his eyes gleaming with a dark amusement. before you could protest, his hand slid down to cup your sex through your panties, his fingers moving in slow circles. his touch was deliberate, almost cruel in its precision. the fabric of your panties was drenched, and you could feel the heat of your arousal spreading. “you’re so fucking dirty,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. “gonna pay for teasing me like that.”

his hand withdrew, and before you could react, his palm connected with your ass in a sharp spank. the sting of pain shot through you, but instead of anger, you felt a pulse of desire. the room around you spun, and you bit your lip to stifle a moan. “is that what you wanted?” he asked, his voice mocking. “to be used like this?”

you didn’t answer, but your silence was answer enough. namjoon chuckled again, his hand moving to your other cheek. this time, the spank was harder, and the sound echoed through the empty classroom. you gasped, your legs trembling, but your pussy clenched around his fingers. “yes, professor,” you murmured, the words slipping out despite your attempt to remain defiant.

his hand slid into your panties, his fingers pushing inside you without preamble. you were so wet, so ready, and his touch sent waves of pleasure through your body. his thumb circled your clit, and you moaned, unable to hold back. “that’s it,” he whispered, his voice low and encouraging. “tell me how much you like it when i spank you, and maybe i’ll let you cum on my dick.”

his other hand moved to the zipper of his pants, freeing his thick, hard cock. it sprang out, and you couldn’t help but stare at it, the size of it both terrifying and exhilarating. “you want this, don’t you?” he asked, his voice a gruff challenge. “you wanna be fucked by your professor, right here, where everyone can see?”

you nodded, unable to speak, your body betraying your every thought. namjoon leaned back in his chair, pulling you onto his desk. the cold wood was a shock against your skin, but the heat of his body washed over you as he stepped closer. his pants fell to the floor, and he positioned himself between your legs. “beg for it,” he demanded, his eyes boring into yours. your voice was shaky as you whispered, “please, professor kim, fuck me.” the words were barely out of your mouth when he pushed into you, filling you completely. the sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pain and pleasure that made your vision swim. his hips began to move, a steady, punishing rhythm that had you gripping the edge of the desk for dear life.

each thrust was accompanied by a smack on your ass, the sting mixing with the ache in your pussy. “you’re mine,” he growled, his voice harsh with need. “no one else gets to see you like this, no one else gets to touch you like this.” his words were a blend of assertion and question, and you nodded, your eyes glazed with lust. your silence happened to be a grave mistake, and you realized it the minute he delivered another harsh slap to your ass.

“use your fucking words,” he snarled in your ear, hips pressed against your flesh. you could only whimper, his balls pressed against your soaking slit. but he didn't move, he was gonna make you work for it. “what happens to bad girls?” you gritted your teeth and forced out a whisper, “they get punished, professor kim.”

his hand squeezed your ass hard before delivering another spank, the sting turning into a warm buzz that spread through your body. he chuckled darkly, pleased with your response. “that’s right,” he said, his voice gruff and animalistic. “and what happens when bad girls get punished?” you took a deep breath, trying to keep the tremble from your voice. “they get fucked, professor kim.”

that was all the encouragement he needed. namjoon’s cock slammed into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin punctuating the silence of the classroom. he fucked you hard and fast, his hips pistoning against you with a ferocity that was both terrifying and exhilarating. your legs were shaking, and your knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the desk, but you didn’t care. you were lost in the feeling of him inside you, claiming you in a way that no one else ever had.

his hand moved from your ass to your neck, his fingers wrapping around it in a grip that was tight but not painful. he squeezed slightly, the pressure sending a jolt of arousal through you. his eyes bore into yours, and you could see the hunger in them, the need to dominate and control. “you’re mine, aren’t you?” he said, his voice a low growl.

you nodded, unable to form words. your breath was coming in ragged gasps, and your pussy was clenching around his cock, begging for release. another spank, another squeeze of your neck, and you felt yourself teetering on the edge of climax. “say it,” he demanded, his voice harsh. “say you’re mine, and i’ll let you cum.”

“i’m yours, professor kim,” you choked out, the words a desperate plea.

his grip tightened, and he slammed into you one last time, his cock hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. you screamed as you came, your body shaking with the intensity of your orgasm. namjoon’s eyes never left yours, his expression a mix of triumph and possessiveness. he waited, letting you ride out the waves of pleasure before he began to move again, his thrusts growing faster and more erratic. you could feel his release building, his cock swelling inside you. he was close, and the thought of him filling you up with his cum made your pussy clench even tighter. “fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunted, his voice strained. “i’m gonna fill you up, fuck. i’m gonna mark you as mine.”

you could feel your own orgasm building again, a second wave crashing into you as his words sent a fresh surge of arousal through your body. he leaned over, his teeth scraping along your neck as he reached down to pinch your clit. the combination of pain and pleasure was too much, and you came again, your body shaking violently. he grunted, his hips jerking as he released deep inside you. he held you there, his cock buried to the hilt, his grip on your neck unyielding. “you’re mine now,” he murmured, his voice a mix of satisfaction and possession. “no one else will ever make you feel like this again.”

you couldn’t argue with him, not when his cum was still pulsing inside you, not when his scent was all over your body. you were his, and as much as you hated to admit it, the thought thrilled you. his hand moved from your neck to your hair, his grip gentle as he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply. his tongue invaded your mouth, tasting the remnants of your orgasm, and you kissed him back with a passion that matched his own.

the room was spinning, and your heart was racing, but all you could think about was how much you wanted this to never end. how much you wanted to be claimed by him, over and over again. finally, he pulled away, his cock slipping out of you with a wet sound that seemed to echo through the room. he tucked himself back into his pants, his expression unreadable. “now, get out of here before someone sees you like this,” he said, his voice a harsh whisper.

you nodded, your legs unsteady as you slid off the desk. your panties were a ruined mess, so you left them where they lay. your skirt was hiked up around your waist, and your shirt was askew, but you didn’t bother to fix it. you could feel his cum dripping down your thighs, a sticky reminder of what had just happened. you stumbled out of the classroom, the door clicking shut behind you. the hallway was empty, the only sound the echo of your heels against the tiles. your mind was racing, trying to process the intensity of what had just occurred. you hadn’t meant for it to go that far, but the power dynamics had overtaken you both.

as you made your way to the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes on you, his hand on your neck, his cock inside you. your body was still singing with the aftershocks of pleasure, and the sting of his spanks lingered, a sweet reminder of his dominance. once inside the stall, you leaned against the cool metal, trying to catch your breath. your pussy was sore, but the ache was a delicious one, a reminder of his brutal possession. you cleaned up as best as you could, trying to erase the evidence of your transgression. when you stepped out, you took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself.

you checked the mirror, fixing your makeup and smoothing your hair. your eyes were wild, your cheeks flushed. you really looked like you’d just been fucked by your professor, and that thought alone sent a shiver of excitement down your spine. you left the bathroom, heading to your next class, your mind racing with thoughts of namjoon. what had just happened between you? was it a one-time thing, or was this the start of something darker, something more intense? you couldn’t stop thinking about him, his voice, his touch, his cock. the way he’d claimed you, the way you’d begged for it. it was wrong, so wrong, but you craved it.

the rest of the day was a blur, your thoughts consumed by the illicit encounter. when you saw him in the hallways, his eyes would briefly meet yours, a smoldering heat passing between you that no one else could see. the tension was palpable, a silent promise of more to come. by the time you reached the evening, you were on edge, desperate for a release that only he could provide. you knew you had to see him again, to find out where this was going, to let him take you apart and put you back together in whatever twisted way he saw fit.

the next day, namjoon was crueler than ever. the moment you walked into the classroom, you felt the shift in his demeanor, an icy coldness that sent a shiver down your spine. his eyes seemed to follow your every move, sharp and unforgiving, as if waiting for you to slip up.

“miss (l/n),” he drawled, barely five minutes into the lecture, “do you even know what the word ‘competence’ means? because, frankly, i’m starting to doubt it.” his words were laced with venom, each syllable landing like a physical blow. you felt your heart sink, the heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck as all eyes turned to you. your mouth opened to respond, but the words caught in your throat, your voice betraying you in the moment you needed it most.

“answer me,” he demanded, his tone brooking no argument. “i do,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper, but it was clear that your confidence had shattered.

he scoffed, a cold, mocking sound that made you flinch. “then perhaps you should start showing it. this is a university, not a daycare. i expect more from my students.” the classroom was silent, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. you could feel the stares of your classmates, could hear the unspoken judgment in the air, and it made your stomach churn. namjoon’s relentless criticism continued throughout the class, his every word designed to tear you down, to make you feel small and insignificant.

“is that really the best you can do?” he sneered at one point, after you had answered another one of his questions with trembling uncertainty. his eyes narrowed, and you could see the disdain written all over his face. “how disappointing.” your patience was wearing thin, the fragile hold you had on your emotions slipping with each cruel remark. you wanted to scream, to tell him to stop, to ask him why he was being so unbearably harsh. but you couldn’t. the words refused to come, lodged in your throat like a stone.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, the class drew to a close. as soon as namjoon dismissed everyone, you gathered your things and bolted from the room, your vision blurred with unshed tears. you could hear the murmur of voices behind you, the curious whispers of your classmates, but you didn’t care. all you wanted was to get away. you didn’t stop until you reached the empty locker room, the door slamming shut behind you with a deafening echo. the second you were alone, the tears you had been holding back spilled over, your body shaking with the force of your sobs.

“how could he be so bipolar?” you choked out between gasping breaths, your voice thick with hurt and confusion. it was as if he had two completely different personalities, one moment kind and almost gentle, the next vicious and unrelenting. it was too much. the sound of approaching footsteps cut through your thoughts, startling you. you quickly wiped at your eyes, trying in vain to compose yourself, but it was too late. the door creaked open, and soobin stepped inside, his expression filled with concern as he saw you huddled on the floor.

“(y/n)?” he called softly, his voice laced with worry. without waiting for an answer, he hurried over to you, crouching down by your side. “what happened? why are you crying?” you tried to speak, but all that came out was a broken sob. soobin’s face softened, and he reached out to pull you into his arms, his embrace warm and comforting.

“it’s okay,” he murmured, his hand gently rubbing your back in soothing circles. “it’s gonna be okay. just breathe.” for a moment, you let yourself melt into his embrace, the warmth of his arms and the softness of his voice soothing your frazzled nerves. but eventually, you pulled back enough to look up at him, your eyes red and puffy from crying.

“it’s namjoon, you saw it,” you finally managed to say, your voice trembling. “he’s just, he’s being so awful, and i don’t understand why.” soobin’s expression darkened at the mention of namjoon, his jaw clenching slightly, but he quickly masked it with a soft, reassuring smile. “he’s being an ass,” he agreed, his voice firm with conviction. “you don’t deserve that, you need to stop running to him.”

his words struck a chord deep within you, and you nodded, a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over. “you’re right,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “but i don’t know how to stop.” his gaze softened, and he reached up to gently brush a strand of hair out of your face, his touch tender. “you’ll figure it out,” he said quietly, his tone full of quiet confidence. “and until you do, i’ll be here for you.”

a small, shaky smile tugged at the corners of your lips, the warmth of his words seeping into the cracks that namjoon’s cruelty had left behind. “thank you, soo,” you whispered, your voice thick with gratitude. for a moment, the two of you just sat there, lost in each other’s eyes. then, before you could fully process what was happening, he leaned in and pressed a soft, tentative kiss to your lips.

it was so quick, so unexpected, that you barely had time to react before he was pulling back, his eyes wide with panic. “i’m so sorry,” he stammered, his voice filled with regret. “i didn’t mean to—” but you didn’t let him finish. you reached up, cupping his face in your hands, and kissed him back. this time, it was slower, deeper, a silent reassurance that he hadn’t made a mistake. when you finally pulled away, you could see the relief in soobin’s eyes, and it made your heart swell with affection. “you didn’t make a mistake,” you whispered, your voice still shaky but filled with sincerity.

soobin searched your eyes for a moment, looking for confirmation, before his arms tightened around you. the kiss grew more urgent, his tongue slipping into your mouth, tasting of mint and something uniquely him. your hands roamed over his back, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt, and you moaned softly, the heat between you growing with every passing second. the locker room was suddenly too small, too confining, and you needed more.

without breaking the kiss, you reached down and began to unbutton his shirt, feeling the smooth fabric give way beneath your trembling fingers. his hands mirrored yours, his fingertips brushing against the bare skin of your stomach, sending shivers down your spine. as his shirt fell open, you gasped, taking in the sight of his broad chest, the tattoos that danced across his skin like secrets waiting to be uncovered. you ran your fingers over the ink, tracing the lines as you explored him, and he groaned, his hands finding their way to the hem of your shirt.

you pulled back just long enough to let him lift it over your head, tossing it aside without a second thought. your bra followed shortly after, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight of your exposed breasts. without a word, he leaned down and captured one in his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak as you arched your back, a gasp escaping your lips. the pleasure was intense, a stark contrast to the pain namjoon’s words had brought you just moments ago. soobin’s touch was gentle, reverent, a stark reminder of the way you deserved to be treated.

his hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs flicking over your nipples as he sucked and bit at them, making you whimper. you could feel yourself growing wetter, the ache between your legs becoming almost unbearable. he must have noticed too, because his hand began to drift lower, slipping under your little skirt and finding your panties already drenched for him. you moaned into his mouth, your legs parting slightly to give him better access.

his fingers slid over the fabric, teasing you, making you squirm with need. then, with a wicked grin, he pulled them aside and plunged two fingers into you, making you gasp. his strokes were slow and deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched your reactions, learning what made you moan, what made your eyes roll back in pleasure. you clung to him, your nails digging into his back as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

his other hand reached up to cradle your face, his thumb wiping away the tears that had dried on your cheeks. “you’re so beautiful, (y/n),” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent waves of pleasure through your body. “so perfect, so responsive. i want to make you feel good, really good.” and with that, he kissed you again, his tongue delving deep as his fingers picked up the pace, filling you up and stroking that spot inside you that no one else seemed to know existed.

you could feel yourself getting closer, your breath hitching in your chest, your body tightening around his fingers. “soobin,” you moaned, his name a desperate plea on your lips. “yes, baby, come for me,” he whispered, his voice full of desire, and with that, you shattered. your orgasm hit you like a wave, leaving you trembling and gasping for air, your legs giving out beneath you. he caught you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he held you up, his kisses turning gentle and soothing.

as you came down from the high, you became aware of the sound of the locker room door opening and closing, the muffled sounds of someone walking down the hall. soobin’s eyes widened in panic, his hand still buried in your panties, his fingers coated in your arousal. “shit, we can’t get caught,” he hissed, pulling away and hastily buttoning his shirt. you nodded, fumbling to put yourself back together, your heart racing.

you looked around, your eyes landing on a shower stall in the corner, and an idea formed in your mind. “quick, in there,” you urged, pushing him towards it. he looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned, and he grinned, pulling you in after him. the sound of the shower turning on masked the sound of your breathing as you kissed him again, more urgently this time. his hand found its way back to your panties, his touch no longer gentle but demanding, and you could feel his cock, hard and insistent, pressing against your thigh. you reached down to stroke him through his pants, feeling the length and thickness of him, making you even more eager. he groaned into your mouth, his hips bucking against your hand.

his own need was clear, and you knew what you had to do. you sank to your knees, pulling his pants down to reveal his erection, standing proud and thick. without hesitation, you took him into your mouth, your eyes never leaving his as you began to suck. his moans grew louder, his hands tangling in your hair as you worked him with your mouth, eager to bring him the same pleasure he had given you. his taste was new, but familiar in a way that made your stomach flip. you could feel his cock swell even more, and you knew he was close. his grip on your hair tightened, his hips thrusting gently, and you took it as a sign to speed up, to swallow him down deeper. and just as the footsteps grew closer, he came, his release hot and salty on your tongue.

you swallowed, licking him clean as you stood up, your own arousal pulsing between your legs. he pulled you close again, kissing you deeply, his hands roaming over your body. “i want you, (y/n),” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “i want all of you, right here, right now.” and before you could respond, he was lifting you up, setting you on the bench and peeling your panties off, leaving you bare and exposed.

his cock was still hard, and he positioned himself at your entrance, his tip nudging against your wetness. you could feel the size of him, the way he stretched you open even though he hadn't even slid in yet. you desperately tried not to think about namjoon, to focus on the comfort soobin was offering as a friend. his eyes searched yours for consent, and with a nod, you gave it. he pushed in, slow and gentle, filling you completely. you moaned out his name, the sound echoing off the tiles. it was unlike anything you had ever felt before, his girth stretching you in a way that was both painful and exquisite. he didn't stop, though, continuing to move at a pace that was just right, building the tension until you felt like you might come apart at the seams.

his hands cupped your breasts, squeezing and kneading as he thrust into you, his eyes never leaving yours. you could see the passion in them, the way he was losing himself in the moment, and it made you feel alive, wanted. “you're so wet,” he grunted, his voice strained with effort. “so perfect.”

his words were like a balm to your soul, the praise you had been craving, the gentle touch you hadn't realized you needed. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him to go deeper. “yes,” you murmured, your voice a whisper. “yes, fuck, soo.” his rhythm grew more erratic, his breathing ragged, and you knew he was close. your own orgasm was building, the pressure inside you threatening to burst. “you're gonna cum for me,” he panted, his voice low and commanding. “gonna cum so hard.”

his words sent you over the edge, your body convulsing around him as you screamed out his name. he followed shortly after, his release hot and powerful, filling you up without any barrier. the feeling was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and fear that only added to the intensity of the moment.

as you both came down from the high, panting and trying to catch your breath, you realized what you had done. the comfort sex had turned into something much more intimate, something that would change everything between you. but for now, you pushed those thoughts aside, basking in the warmth of his embrace as the water from the shower washed away the evidence of your shared secret.

his forehead rested against yours, his eyes filled with a tenderness that was new to you. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle. you nodded, your chest heaving with each breath. “yes,” you whispered, feeling a strange mix of emotions. “i'm okay.”

you didn't know how to explain that it was more than just the physical release that had made you feel better. it was the connection, the understanding, the gentle way he had taken care of you when you felt so broken. you knew that this moment would be something you would cherish, something that would sustain you through the storm that was namjoon's cruelty.

but you also knew that you couldn't keep running to soobin every time namjoon hurt you. you had to find a way to stand on your own two feet, to face the demons that were holding you hostage. but for now, in the warmth of the shower, with soobin's arms around you, you allowed yourself to just be. to feel alive and desired, if only for a little while longer.

you could feel the pulse of his cock still inside you, a strangled moan passing your lips as you felt him grow hard inside your pussy, your eyes rolling back at the feeling of him, so lewd and filthy for your cunt, a smirk playing on his face as he began to tilt his hips upward, the overwhelming sensation bringing tears to his eyes. “you really gonna fuck me again?” you practically purred, nails scratching at his chest as his pace began to quicken.

“i have to, you're still dripping for me,” he almost whined, the feeling of your juices drenching his dick just too intense. you pulled him in closer, saving the second blissful sensation of him pulling your cunt apart as he continued to pump his dick into you. you were both unaware of just how loud you were being, as much as you were of the nearby presence, who had been listening to every word with a look of utter anger on his face.

namjoon had been on his way to grab something from his office when he heard the locker room door slam, and the sound of your sobs had drawn him in. he had been torn between leaving and walking in, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. and now, as he heard the sound of soobin's body slapping against yours, as he heard the two of you gasp and moan, his anger grew. he felt like he had been stabbed in the back, the betrayal a cold, sharp pain in his chest.

his hand was clenched into a fist, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from storming in and tearing the two of you apart. instead, he leaned against the wall, listening as soobin whispered sweet nothings into your ear, as he praised your body and made you feel good about yourself. the irony of the situation was not lost on him; the one person who had been so cruel to you was now being the one to console you in the most intimate way possible.

his mind raced with thoughts of what he should do, but in the end, he decided to stay put. he would let this play out, let soobin have his moment of victory, and then he would deal with it. but for now, he had to listen to the sound of your pleasure, the sound of what he had wanted to be his, being given to someone else. and it made his blood boil.

the following day, tension hung heavy in the air, a storm brewing in namjoon's chest as he awaited your arrival. the echoes of what he overheard between you and soobin replayed in his mind, each word twisting the knife of jealousy deeper into his heart. the anger was sharp, intense, and the moment you stepped into the classroom, he felt his blood begin to boil.

you entered the room with a sense of calm, your steps measured and your expression serene. it was a visible contrast to the way namjoon’s heart raced and his jaw clenched in a desperate attempt to maintain his composure. as the lesson began, he made it his personal mission to nail you into the ground with questions, to strip away that calm exterior and expose whatever emotions lay beneath. “miss (y/n),” he began, his voice cutting through the classroom like a blade, “perhaps you can explain the concept of friedrich nietzsche's ‘übermensch’ to the class?”

the question was pointed, meant to trip you up, to make you falter. but to his astonishment, you didn’t miss a beat.

“the ‘übermensch’ is a concept in nietzsche’s philosophy that refers to someone who has transcended the limitations of conventional morality and societal norms to create and live by their own values,” you replied, your voice steady, almost indifferent. “it’s a cornerstone of his idea of life-affirmation, where one embraces their existence fully and creates meaning in a world that might otherwise seem meaningless.”

namjoon’s eyes narrowed, but he wasn’t done yet. “and what about the eternal recurrence? how does that concept tie into the idea of the ‘übermensch’?”

“the eternal recurrence is the idea that life, in all its events, could potentially repeat itself infinitely,” you answered, still without hesitation. “for nietzsche, the ‘übermensch’ is someone who could embrace this concept, who would live their life in such a way that they’d be willing to relive it over and over again. it’s about living with such purpose and strength that one would welcome even the most painful experiences.” namjoon’s jaw tightened, a muscle in his cheek ticking as he fired question after question at you, trying to find a chink in your armor. but you got all of them right, each answer delivered with precision and clarity. and what made his blood boil even more was that you never once glanced at him. not even for a second.

it was as if he didn’t exist to you, and that realization twisted his gut into knots. the way you didn’t acknowledge his presence felt like a slap in the face. he could feel his anger simmering just beneath the surface, threatening to spill over. but what pushed him closer to the edge was the way you looked at soobin. he noticed it—the way your eyes softened when you glanced at him, the way your lips curved into a genuine smile when you laughed at something he said. the sight made something inside namjoon snap. he could feel the pencil in his hand crack under the pressure of his grip, the wood splintering, but you didn’t even notice.

as the bell rang, signaling the end of class, namjoon watched you closely. everyone else filtered out of the room, but you lingered, packing your things with that same maddening calm. when the last student left, his resolve crumbled. “(y/n),” he called out softly, his voice a mere whisper of the authority it usually held. you paused, glancing up from your bag. “yes, professor kim?”

there was a sting in the formality of your response, a distance that hadn’t been there before. it made his heart constrict painfully. he swallowed hard, trying to steady himself. “please, stop calling me that,” he said, his voice betraying a hint of desperation. you tilted your head slightly, the smallest hint of confusion crossing your features. “but that’s what you asked me to call you,” you replied, your tone even, devoid of the warmth he had once taken for granted.

he felt the sting of his own words being thrown back at him. it was true; he had been the one to demand that distance, to keep you at arm’s length. and now he was paying the price. as you turned to leave, something in him snapped. “i’m sorry,” he blurted out, the words spilling from his lips before he could stop them. you froze, your hand stilling on the strap of your bag. slowly, you turned back to face him. “sorry for what?”

“for everything,” he said, his voice thick with regret. he hesitated, the weight of his confession pressing down on him, but he knew he had to say it. “i fell for you the minute i saw you, you know? you looked so out of place in the club, and it drew me to you. but when i realized you were my student, it pissed me off. it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” your gaze softened, the hard edges of your expression melting away as you looked at him. “how do you think i felt?” you asked, your voice gentle, understanding.

namjoon sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “i know i’ve been an asshole, (y/n),” he admitted, his voice rough with self-loathing. “but i can’t keep playing this game. it’s tearing me apart.”

you didn’t respond immediately, the silence between you stretching out, heavy with unspoken words. you turned to leave once more, but before you could take another step, namjoon moved. he closed the distance between you in an instant, his arms wrapping around you from behind, pulling you against his chest. “please, don’t go,” he whispered, his voice trembling with the intensity of his emotions.

“namjoon,” you whispered, your voice catching in your throat as you felt the warmth of his body against yours. “you have to stop. you’ll get fired if anyone finds out.”

“i don’t care,” he murmured, his grip tightening as if he was afraid you’d slip away. “i don’t care if it means i get to be with you.”

you stood there, wrapped in his arms, the weight of his words sinking in. It was a dangerous game the two of you were playing, one that could cost him everything. but in that moment, all you could think about was the way his heart beat against your back, strong and steady, grounding you in a world that suddenly felt like it was spinning out of control. as much as you wanted to fight it, as much as you knew the risks, there was a part of you that didn’t want to let go either. the part that had fallen for him too, despite everything, despite the pain and the confusion and the impossibility of it all.

“namjoon,” you whispered again, your voice barely audible, “what are we gonna do?”

he didn’t have an answer, not yet. all he knew was that he couldn’t let you go. not now. not when he had finally admitted the truth to himself. and as you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world outside the classroom seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in a stolen moment that neither of you was ready to end.

✧.*

a/n: this was soo ass but some sweet soul wanted more joon content so i hope they see this and if they don't like it i will def do another one

[balkanradfem]

So I've had some thoughts and I don't actually believe that males aren't attracted to women over 25, they absolutely can't even tell a 40yo from a 25yo woman, they made it clear they're only attracted to visual features and they don't even know what age they're looking at. But they are still absolutely obsessed with youth and repeatedly attempt to mingle with female teenagers and try to find a partner who is in the age brackets from 14-21. I do believe a lot of these males are pedophiles, or have converted themselves into pedophiles, but also the end goal of pedophiles and other males is the same: to find a girl/woman with no background knowledge or previous experience.

Even if a 18 year old woman looks exactly like a 25 year old woman, they'll go for the 18 year old, not because she's more attractive or 'fertile', it's simply because they can have that much more power and influence over her. They can tell her anything about life and she wouldn't know the difference, wouldn't know she's being lied to. She hasn't yet had the experience of tolerating male nonsense to the point of breaking, hasn't seen trough their schemes and grooming process, she doesn't know their true intentions, she doesn't have her finances/career/living situation in order, she is more vulnerable, more naive, more easy to exploit. She's still filled with hope and optimism, inclined to believe the best of them, to give them benefit of the doubt, to forgive and tolerate and do whatever she's told to, in order to gain their approval.

25 year old woman will not do this so easily, she's probably had enough experience with the world and the m*n to see the red flags instantly. The 40 year old woman, who looks exactly as attractive, will not even spare him the second glance, he's nothing to her, she knows his value is null.

I don't think it's youth, appearance, or any other kind of 'biological impulse' that makes m*n go after younger women, it's just the amount of power they're able to have over younger women. The idea of a woman who knows who they are and what they stand for is intensely non-attractive to them, a woman who understands their core and knows their intentions, that is a complete no-go, they'd rather throw insults at her and make sure she can't communicate her knowledge to the younger generations.

But a younger woman who is still under the effects of patriarchal grooming, who is easy to convince, manipulate, trick, cheat, who is without any defenses, naive, gullible, that's where their attraction is amplified. If the situation suddenly switched and all of the younger women had the exact experience and power of mature women, while mature women were under some kind of amnesia and thought m*n were cool, and were willing to do whatever for them, the attraction would flip just like that. M*n really can't do well anywhere except among children who are fawning over them, not knowing what they're looking at.

Being young and without experience makes a woman so much less likely to be able to defend herself against abuse, so much more easily pulled into doing things against her own benefit, much more easily obliged with a promise of a fake future that will never happen. And they all know they're pulling those young women into relationships/partnerships under fake pretenses, that they're just going to use these young women, until they age up to the point where they're sick of his bullshit, and then find new, younger, more inexperienced, more easy to manipulate girls.

What I'm saying is that their attraction grows only with girls and women's inability to truly consent to what they're going to do to her. If those young women knew where the situation was going, they would never say yes to it, and m*n all know it.

[nathallly]

Spoilers For HSR and TWST!!

Sunday! Yuu. People have made the connection between him and Malleus sending everyone to a dream so not to experience the injustices and harsh realities of the real world.

And I havent seen the 2.7 story yet but I know that Sunday is now a fugitive and is going to join the astral express but what if he somehow gets isekaied into twisted wonderland.

And so I have some headcanons ( Sorry if somethings are inaccurate this is my first post like this )

Housewardans with Sunday! Yuu :

Riddle

He appreciates Sunday! Yuu’s Leadership and Knowledge and respects Sunday Yuu for mostly following the rules

Sunday! Yuu disargees with a decent amount of the rules due to how strict the punishment is for the most mundane things and dislikes the lack of freedom and authority that comes along but still follows the rules nonetheless

They understand it’s hypocritical of them to say the part about freedom and authority

Sunday! Yuu also respects Riddle for his leadership and dedication but disargees with the strictness of it all.

During book one, Sunday! Yuu has to confront their own childhood along with Riddle’s.

They both were manipulated and raised by parental figures in thier lives that forced down a harmful philosophy into them for their own gain

Like when Trey tells them about riddles mom Sunday! Yuu can picture Mr Gopher Wood.

And during the overbolt section with the flashbacks,Sunday! Yuu is fighting every urge for tears not to fall out of their eyes when seeing riddle’s childhood and seeing their’s and robin’s childhood along with it

Sunday! Yuu ends up sobbing with riddle while hugging him. They miss robin so much

After all that,Sunday! Yuu would try to help riddle be less strict on his dormmates and help him lead heartslabyul

Leona

Leona thought Sunday! Yuu was a stuck up before book 2

Leona also could tell something was off with Sunday ! Yuu so he was a bit wary of them

Sunday! Yuu saw him as a lazy and unfit leader before book 2 as well

With Sunday! Yuu kinda reminding him of Malleus yea they did not like each other

During book 2,Leona kinda respected Sunday! Yuu’s intelligence to come up with that plan but that also came with a scoopful of jealousy

When Sunday! Yuu saw the flashback sequence,They did sympathize leona but also saw it as leona giving up an already high position because he couldn’t get a higher one.

So in comparison to riddles heartfelt comfort,Sunday! Yuu actually had a debate (more like lecture) with leona about how being in second place is still in the leaderboard and how leona could actually make a difference if he tried

After all that,Leona respects Sunday! Yuu more but they still don’t really like each other.

Azul

Nuh uh, Sunday! Yuu doesnt like him from the start. Being the head of the oak family in penacony,they have met plenty of shady business people most from the ipc

On that note, Azul reminds Sunday! Yuu wayyyy too much of ipc Stoneheart Jade.Granting wishes for a price of equal value that ends up the price being way worse than the wish? Sunday! Yuu knows what azul wants and will refuse to give it under all circumstances.

Doesnt help that one of the tweels is named Jade too Sunday! Yuu almost had a heart attack after hearing his name lol

Azul is immensely curious about Sunday! Yuu and their halovain nature and their power of the harmony.Always sending the tweels to spy on Sunday! Yuu,but due to Sunday! Yuu’s experience with this kind of stuff they will always find their way out.

During book 3,Sunday! Yuu was scolding the firstyears nonstop about signing a contract with him. And was also pretty shocked about the merpeople and their forms.

During the flashback sequence, Sunday! Yuu would sympathize with azul but still would not forgive him for his actions and same with leona would have a lecture with him about how if others hurt you that doesnt justify you hurting others for your gain.

After all that, Sunday! Yuu still doesnt like azul but azul still respects and admires Sunday! Yuu’s power and ability.

Kalim

Kalim really likes Sunday! Yuu.Coming from the land of festivities, Sunday! Yuu’s sure knows how to organize a spectacular party.

Sunday! Yuu helps organize Kalims many partys and keeps him in check to the relief of Jamil

Sunday! Yuu finds Kalim quite enjoyable and sweet though pretty careless.

They also regularly checks out the Light Music Club and helps them with songs as they have experience with music due to working with robin

They sometimes sing there with the power of harmony but it took a long time to convince them to even try singing It brought back too many memories

I dont really have a lot for kalim Sorry! Because the overbolt was mainly for Jamil

Overall, Kailm and Sunday! Yuu like eachother pleasantly.

Vil

Vil likes Sunday! Yuu a fair bit. Sunday! Yuu has experience in the showbiz world from robin and understands alot of celebrity culture, beauty, social media etc so Vil sees Sunday! Yuu as a knowledgeable individual and respects them for that.

Sunday! Yuu respects Vil for his effort,determination and drive and often help him with management issues and other stuff of the like

During book 5,The first years begged for Sunday! Yuu to join VDC and eventually they caved.They actually got in as a performer due to their voice and experience with the field but they also became the producer of the competition on their own request.

Vil commitment to routine with his skincare, food, makeup reminded him much of himself and robin’s routine. Almost everything reminded them of robin, they miss her more than anything else

And when Sunday! Yuu saw Neige Le Blanc,they felt the urge to protect and hug him.The soft angelic glow and the sweet melodic voice was too much for Sunday! Yuu to handle.They were already having mental issues with everything reminding them of robin and with neige being very similar to robin Sunday! Yuu was having a mental breakdown ngl

And instead of Rook saving neige, Sunday! Yuu was the one to smack the apple juice out of neiges hand.The brotherly urge to protect was too strong even though it didnt really matter to Sunday! Yuu if Neige died or not.

During the flashback sequence ,Sunday! Yuu was dead slient,they were emotional but not as emotional with riddle’s.It still hit too close to home with all the acting and celebrity world.

This time Sunday! Yuu just had a mature conversation with vil about his jealousy and pride.

Idia

Idia thought Sunday! Yuu was an SSR morally grey villain ikemen in a video game.

Sunday! Yuu didnt even know who he was other than housewarden of Ignihyde and a social recluse.Though they’d often use Ignihyde technology due to that being the closest to the technology back in their world

But during Book 6, ooooh boy was it depressing,horrifying and dangerous all in a mechanical package.

The overbolt was insanly tough They almost exhausted all their energy to support the other housewardens.

And the flashback was chilling, The incident of ortho’s death, young idia’s wails and crys left Sunday! Yuu feeling horribly terrified,sortowful and empty.

They has experienced the loss of a family member since a young age too, and almost lost robin in penacony. What if like ortho, Robin had died when they were young? Would they be like idia today the thought was too horrible.

Sunday! Yuu didnt even say anything to idia afterwards but tears did fall from their face.

Malleus

Malleus is horribly down bad for Sunday! Yuu (platonic or romantic you decide).He is utterly curious about their halovain background, Malleus had actually thought Sunday! Yuu was a fae or an angel when he first met them.

Sunday! Yuu is also pretty interested in malleus and the mystery of who he is.As I said in the beginning they have some large similarities and they’d definitely get along.

They’d both rant to eachother about alot and theyd both listen to eachother and argee with eachother.

Malleus felt a real friend to Sunday! Yuu someone who understood them and their similarities often made them both seem seen by the other

Sunday! Yuu probably wouldn’t call Malleus tsunotarou, I’d imagine it’d be something like Mr draco/drago or something of the like

Book 7, Idk much about but Sunday! Yuu would essentially fight against a slightly different penacony and I’d think they’d have a different outlook on life to say the least.

[merilaurecus]

Companions reactions to finding out Modern!Tav can't return to Earth and is stuck in Faerûn for good

This was on my mind for a while. It's post-game, a while after the defeat of the Netherbrain but before the reunion party. The group is still together.

Gale (Professor Dekarios ending)

Already thinking about a spell that actually can do it.

Can't help but feel a little hopeless when even Elminster said it's not possible.

But this man won't give up until he really runs out of options (ambition™️).

One of the few companions that can offer you a place to stay.

Also will offer a hug or an evening together (certified Gale girlie here, if that was me I'd probably confess to him; not that night because I'd be too overwhelmed with leaving what I knew behind, but the next night I'd be like "fuck it, I had a feelings for him before anyway, might as well").

Compassionate and understanding, though he'd try to be around to make sure you are doing well enough not to do anything stupid (yes, I mean the worst option here beginning with the letter S).

Meal cooked with love is on his to-do list (homemade hundur sauce I'm looking at you).

Even when he's down in his research he'll look out for you from time to time.

Also doing the sad eyes when he thinks about the situation. When he was told it wasn't an option he was rather terrified.

Still he prepares a worst case scenario books to teach you stuff about Faerûn. Prays he doesn't have to ever use them.

Karlach (yeet into Avernus with Wyll)

Yo this girl will be your shoulder to cry on.

But she'll probably cry with you together.

She knows how it feels more than she'd like.

But she can leave Avernus from time to time, can't imagine being stuck there forever.

After crying together she'll remain strong for you, probably won't leave your side in fear of you doing something stupid too.

Can't help much with magic but cheering you up? You've got this. Long chats to drive your mind away from the situation about any topic other than that, cuddles, that sort of things.

Also helping you gain some physical strength so you can survive here.

Hugs. Hugs. And once again - hugs.

Will look out for you most of the time if she can't be near.

Astarion (vampire spawn in Baldur's Gate)

He won't even dare to make a joke about it.

I mean it.

He may not know being stuck in other world, but being a slave with no way out of it gives him an idea of what kind of situation you're in.

Won't be the cuddliest or shit, but will keep your Earth clothes in a good shape (tailor time). Just so you have something from there to last longer.

Much like the others, he'll look out for you in the night, but will do it his sneaky way. Just enough for him to know you're alright without you noticing.

He'll say how he feels about your situation in time though. May even offer a hug. He's not Karlach but after all the events he's more open to physical contact with his friends.

Ready to teach you more stuff about Faerûn if nothing works to get you back to Earth. Especially archery. And sneaking. And stealing.

Shadowheart (Selûnite edition)

Let's be honest, all of these people were torn apart from their homes in one way or another.

Shadowheart can relate to you, though her experience is different too.

She doesn't remember much, but you do.

Approaches you with good (but weak) wine and allows you to pour your misery out.

Tells you you have a place to stay with her parents (let's go the happy endings route).

She's not a wizard, but will keep an eye out for every piece of knowledge about travelling through different worlds.

You've been to Shadowfell and Avernus after all.

Will talk you out of sacrificing your memories to Shar. She knows all to well she'd take everything from your little desperate soul.

Flowers are her language of love.

Will also animal speech Scratch and the owlbear to play with you instead of her, telling them how bad you feel.

Soon you can't get them off you, but it does put a smile on your face.

When no one is looking she'll pray to Selûne to guide you your way back home.

Much like everyone she looks out for you, ready to teach you about Faerûn as well (if she hasn't already she'll teach you how to heal yourself when you're alone).

Lae'zel (Freeing Githyanki/Orpheus sacrificed)

At first she found your tears weak.

Then she realized what it would feel like not being able to return to her people.

She felt that to the gut.

She'll show you more tricks to make your enemies fall quick (lmao I rhymed this one).

Also will keep an eye out for a knowledge that could bring you back to Earth (you know, Githyanki and their tons of knowledge).

Not much talkative but you'll see understanding in her eyes soon enough.

If you're a sword fighter she'll give you one of her sharpest ones. Githyanki language of caring is either combat or weapons you know.

(Daddy) Halsin

He also remembers being somewhere else against his wishes, though as a slave.

A single thought of not seeing sun again if he was to stay in the Underdark forever gives him creeps.

You need a hug? A cuddle? He'll be there for you in either form you choose.

You're not escaping whittling and druidic magic lessons. Just so you can get your mind off things and also heal/defend yourself should the situation call for it.

Offers you a place to stay, you're welcome anytime.

Not much of a cook but will pick the finest berries and find the biggest honey comb in the forest.

Looks out for you in some small wildshape (raven or a squirrel probably) when you sneak in the night to cry alone. Should he see situation is bad will approach you in his usual bear form.

Strongly believes there's a way - you've done much that was thought to be impossible. Especially you, someone who had almost no previous experience with weapons or magic.

He's old and wise - will keep thinking about it in hopes some solution will remind itself.

Wyll (yeet into Avernus with Karlach)

Banished from his home he understands a bit of your situation.

Haven't been to other world with no way back, it was his decision to go to Avernus with Mommy K, but he knows Karlach and it helps him understand it.

Another shoulder you can cry one, the Blade does not judge.

Still you're fresh to Faerûn and he'll hate to see you dead before your time, so he'll offer you fencing lessons (I can hear that eyeroll, Lae'zel).

Asks about the dances back in your world and gladly learns them (belgijka jumpscare).

Looking out for you when you go somewhere alone (especially at night).

In Avernus he'll look for some knowledge about travels to different worlds. It's another plane of existence after all.

Jaheira, Minsc & Boo

Minsc is happy to have his friend here forever only to understand the situation after either Jaheira or Boo explains it to him.

Jaheira feels for you more than she'd like to show, but you'll see care in her eyes.

Just like Halsin she'll research her memory for anything that may allow you to return.

Minsc apologises to you after the scolding.

Won't help much tho, he'll be just an emotional support (together with Boo, of course).

Jaheira asks all the Harpers to keep an eye out for any book or a scroll related to your problem. Also will ask any of her old friends to do the same, even if it means her repaying that favour. She can still go fast when she wants to!

[strawberrygummiess]

forwards, beckon rebound

leona kingscholar x gender neutral! reader 2.1k words cross posted on ao3

As a college student, you always wished you could return to high school.

You’d go back in time with all the wisdom you could possibly have in your early twenties and do it all differently. Try a little harder, be a little wittier, and be a little nicer to your parents… if you could, you would make every right decision. If you laid a solid foundation, maybe you’d be employed with a real job, in a nice apartment. Maybe your post-grad life wouldn’t look so bleak.

And yet, now that you’re presented with the opportunity, this hypothetical has never felt so incredibly stupid.

Since you were transported to Twisted Wonderland, you’ve floated through limbo. Too old to relate to the students you hung around, too young to understand your professors. Not only were you aged out of your peers, but you had no grasp on how this world worked. Everything was foreign, and no one cared to help you. Even your college-grade research skills did nothing to help you understand the rules of this world. It was an isolating experience that no one could have ever foreseen in their stupid “if you could go back to high school with all the knowledge you have now” hypothetical.

Maybe that was why you were glued to Leona as much as he would let you be.

Since helping him through his overblot (in what world would your college experience help you with that scenario?) you couldn’t help but latch on to him. It’s not that you enjoyed the danger of near death, it was that you could finally speak to someone relatively your age. The long conversations you had in the infirmary and in the darkness of his room were quiet and familiar. It felt like you were back in your dorm room, recapping your day to your roommates in hushed whispers. It was a little thing, but it grounded you down more than you cared to admit. And when your life had turned into reliving the worst parts of high school, fighting poverty, and just trying to survive potentially deadly magical scenarios, you could live with the little things. And you didn’t really care if Leona wanted you there or not.

“Back again? Is there no one else for you to bother?”

Leona’s grumble shook you from your thoughts. It was a routine at this point. Once again, you stood over him in the gardens, silently asking for permission to sit next to him while you skipped your potions class (because you just didn’t have it in you to do high school over again, really). He would pretend to be annoyed, tease you for your lack of friends, and settle into a comfortable silence while you sat with him. Sometimes you would attempt a conversation, but most of the time you just sat quietly until the class period ended. Today would be the same as it always was; you, gaining a bit of sanity back before rejoining the freshmen in their classes and feeling lost all over again.

“You already know the answer,” you reply, sitting in the grass next to him. “Besides, I can’t stand potions. Or Grim. Not today.” You lie back in the grass and sigh as the tension in your back dissipates and wait out how today’s hour will go.

Leona hums in response and closes his eyes again. You expect this to be the end of your conversation and get ready to zone out for an hour before he continues.

“Can you stand it any day?”

It’s vague. Purposefully so. Leona tests you. Your intelligence, your boundaries, your limits. In this moment he could be referring to anything. Your class, Grim, your peers, your new life- you could choose to answer to any of these topics, and he would respond accordingly. He was quicker than you, smarter than you could’ve ever hoped to be, all naturally. If you were still in school, you’d be jealous of this kind of wit. Now, you’re just happy to be challenged. Except now, of course, when you didn’t know how to answer his question.

Truthfully, the conversations you had with Leona were rare. You could count them on one hand. Asking for too much will scare him out of talking. You’ve learned the hard way what makes Leona shut down. And usually, it’s you digging too deep too fast. You know gradually chipping away at his shell is the only way to make him vulnerable, but you can’t help but be impatient, and greedy. You want more than he’s willing to give because you’re desperate for something to latch on to. So, of course, when you’re finally presented with the opportunity to learn more, you’re floundering.

“No, not really.”

You match his ambiguity. Admittedly, you can’t decide what deserves a rant from you first. The ridiculous expectations that Crowley has imposed on you, the exhaustion that comes from dealing with Grim, the frustration with your lack of funds (that admittedly, you’re used to after only landing a retail position post-graduation).

“I’m just tired of being older than everyone else.”

It comes out before you realize it. You and Leona are around the same age. You can only imagine the agony of being an adult student around the rest of Night Raven College. To the rest of the students, being a few years their senior feels like nothing. To you, it feels like you’ve stepped out of a nursing home. You’ve never asked Leona his feelings about it. You just hoped it was an unspoken understanding that you two needed each other, if just for this. You knew you needed him, at least.

“Yeah? Join the club.”

He answers, before opening his eyes and looking at you. His face was relaxed but his gaze was focused and sharp. He was the hunter, and you were the prey. He was studying you, preparing for your next step. It was frustrating just how easily he read you. It was like he already knew everything you felt. And yet, you knew nothing about him. Nothing important, anyway. He always knew how to avoid your pressing. Every step forward came at the cost of three steps back. You weren’t privy to much of anything, just bits and pieces of surface-level information that never helped you understand him. That’s how he wanted it. But you couldn’t stand it anymore.

“How do you live like this? This… limbo? I feel like I’m not in my body.” You decided to test the waters. Push him a little further. Beg for more information. Desperately trying to get inside. You sit up and try to gather your thoughts and strategize, but you keep talking before your brain can catch up.

“Everything is monotonous, and yet not at the same time… and I feel like I can’t keep up with anything! Socially, and academically, I’ve never felt so out of place… I feel so old and young in all the wrong ways. And I get this is what your twenties feel like. It’s just never felt so obvious before.”

“Hmm… speak for yourself. I’ve never felt so in with the times” Leona jokes, before sitting up alongside you. Giddiness fills you before you can stop it. Engaging him in a conversation is so rare, you love it when you get it right. You love feeling a bit of normalcy.

“C’mon, you know that’s not what I meant. It’s developmentally y’know? Because… I’ve already been to high school- sorry, college, - graduated, went to university, and then graduated from that too! And now I’m back? It feels weird… I feel weird.”

You wait for him to respond after your outburst, but he doesn’t say anything. In the back of your head, you remind yourself that he doesn’t know your plight. Leona hasn’t graduated from Night Raven yet. This is his first time through high school. And he has the bonus of being from this world. You’re in a unique situation that no one else could ever possibly relate to. But his silence makes you feel uneasy. You feel the need to keep explaining, to word vomit your feelings out until they go away. You hope that eventually, all the circles you’re going in will lead you in a different direction. Or at least lead to Leona saying he understands you. Maybe by the end of it, you can even understand yourself.

“People from my world always ask, ‘What would you do if you could go back to high school with the knowledge you have now?’ and I always had a solid plan. I’d be a better student and a better person, and I wouldn’t work in a grocery store by the end of it. But no one ever thinks about how weird it is to have an adult brain stuck in a system designed for kids. No one talks about how that messes up your plans before they even start.”

Leona huffs again.

“You were after me. You’re the one who had to realize it.”

It was true. You were the traditional, model student. You did everything you were supposed to, on schedule, with perfect timing. Yet you couldn’t help the frustration rise within you. That wasn’t what you meant. He knew that. He was too smart not to know what you meant.

“I never said you didn’t understand. I just want to know how you handle it. It’s eating me alive. I don’t know if I can handle high schoolers anymore.”

You let out a strained chuckle. You hope he won’t notice your annoyance at his flippancy. You needed to remain calm. Otherwise, he’d pull away and you’d have to navigate your feelings alone again.

“I handle it like this, Herbivore. Take it or leave it.”

He moves to lie down again, and you can’t help the desperation that seeps through you. You move to grab his shoulder, to steady him before he’s unavailable again. He looks at you, intrigued by spontaneity, but says nothing else. The ball is in your court. And yet, you can’t find the words to continue.

This is how he handles it. He sleeps away his problems and runs from them until it culminates into a fury of anger that pushes people away. No one knows Leona Kingscholar, they only know the twenty-year-old junior who hides his intelligence in his dreams. You can't help but tighten your grip on his shoulder. You hope if you hold him there, he won’t hide from you.

“Does it help to have someone else?”

You ask sheepishly. You think you know the answer. He doesn’t say anything. His ears twitch as he stares at you, waiting for you to continue. You were hoping for him to say something else, but he waited.

“It helps me at least. Even if you don’t talk much. It’s nice to float through limbo with someone else if we can’t help each other.”

You settle on boosting his ego. Telling him you need him. You’re sure he knows this already. You seek him out every day. Even if he won’t tell you, he needs you too. He would’ve already pushed you away if he didn’t. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

Leona, horrifically, says nothing. He just stares at you with his piercing gaze, filling you with unease. He always knows how to make you regret digging too deep. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to get you to stay away permanently. Maybe his silent stare will finally scare you away. Maybe, silence was the only appropriate way to respond to your outburst. You decide you sounded crazy, and you overstepped. You open your mouth to do some semblance of damage control before he beats you to it.

“Of course, you need me, who doesn’t?”

He breaks out into a comfortable smirk. His arrogance usually annoyed you, but this time, you were relieved. You haven’t messed up yet. You didn’t move forward, but you were okay with staying where you were if it meant he’d keep you around. He gently removed your hand from his shoulder and began to lean back. You knew your hour was up. You had to find Grim and join the freshmen for their next class. Leona had to sleep his emotions away.

As you left the gardens, you felt yourself entering autopilot. Your brain was away from your body as you joined Ace, Deuce, and Grim. They chattered about their last class, excitedly discussing their plans with one another while you thought about your routine. You will be in the gardens tomorrow, avoiding your classes, and desperately trying to befriend someone who can understand you but doesn’t want to. At least for one hour, you would be grounded again.

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

I wanted Solas to be able to steal your companions (or at least some of them) away from you

On my first playthrough I genuinely thought that the test of your leadership abilities was going to be if you could keep your team together despite the machinations of the Dread Wolf himself. Obviously that was not the case, but I like the idea enough still that I want to share it now!

(Idk if I should tag this as a critique or not because while it IS me saying I wish the game had done this, that sentiment is also like. The extent of the displeasure you will hear from me in this particular post. So instead, I'll just put the divider in and give everyone a heads up now that while I am about to descend into a spiral about something I think would have been cool, me describing the cool thing I would have liked is not peppered with hate and might therefore still be fun for you to read. )

My brain went off the rails the first time I heard Harding tell Rook and Neve that Solas can go into people's dreams and kill them. (Which, was this something we learned in Inquisition/Trespasser and I missed it? I totally probably did if that's the case because I did not do a replay before jumping into Veilguard, but that line freaked me out when I first heard it lol I was like "since when?!").

While Rook assures both that they're a-okay, all good, it's just a little bid of blood magic, I thought we had just been blessed with some hella foreshadowing. Based on:

-My belief that Solas was going to have followers at his disposal

-The knowledge that he likes to mirror people and give them what they're dishing out

-Him telling Rook that once he found out they were pursuing him, he did his research

-My belief that reminiscent of other games, low approval could result in companions turning on you/leaving the party/speaking against you

I thought that Rook was going to learn that at some point in the game, Solas approached the Veilguard companions in their dreams and tried to sway them either to join him or abandon their leader. And I think there was a lot of opportunity for this to work really well.

Lucanis is perhaps the easiest example to work with here, but there's potential with all the companions because all of them can relate to Solas' experiences.

Solas, through communications in the dreams of his followers or through snooping through Lucanis' himself, would have been interested in the parallel the two share of "extreme loyalty to an important woman in their life that they look up to and take orders from" when it comes to Mythal and Caterina. Solas also knows what it's like to be gone from the world as you understand it to be for a long time and struggle with the adjustment to come back. It would have been wild to find out that he inserted himself as an interested party who sympathizes with Lucanis' struggle and had slowly been showing him all the reasons he shouldn't put all his faith in Rook while playing as a supportive mentor to Rook at the exact same time.

I think depending on how Rook handled Spite, it would have been interesting at either high approval to have Lucanis be like "hey I just want you to know that Spite caught Solas snooping around in my head last night and we shut him tf out" or a low approval Lucanis being convinced that there's no place for him at the Lighthouse/he isn't understood/is too feared and that he needs to try and help through other means. That, consequently, would create some additional difficulty when it comes to trying to kill Ghilan'nain or gain loyalty with the Crows.

And obviously him going for every single companion would have been hard to do or made the game repetitive, so maybe if at a certain point in the game it just took your companions with the lowest approval and triggered Solas attempting to sway them, that would be fun and add an element of replayability. And if you manage to raise their approval enough after getting kind of a warning-sign cutscene where they're more frustrated with Rook than usual, they then tell you "hey yeah I heard from him but I shut him out."

For brevity so that this doesn't go on forever:

-He could have very easily nerded out with Emmrich and convinced him that the world he wants is what's best for the spirits (especially since he does genuinely believe this)

-He could have come to Neve and been like "you don't have to like me because I did kill Varric, but you do love your city, don't you? As I loved mine? And wouldn't you do anything for it?" (especially if Rook saves Treviso over Minrathous)

-He could have promised Taash a place amongst his followers where they don't have to hide their fire/potentially shared some compelling truth he learned in his nerd travels about fire-breathers that they, craving more about their identity, would be tempted by

-He could have tried to play on Davrin's sympathies for the griffons and shared that all he wants is to create a world in which those he harmed have a chance to be at their fullest capacity once more, especially after its revealed that the wardens abused the griffons and then hid from their history. (Now, Davrin is a king and I see him being very hard to persuade even at low approval, but I didn't want to exlude him)

-With Bellara, I mean come on. He is the least sinister of the old elves running around, and she has always craved questions. Knowledge about Arlathan is one of the strongest connections she has with Cyrian. I also think he might try and argue that Rook could have spent more time/energy towards rescuing Cyrian, OR offered her information on the Forgotten Ones that would save him in exchange for her assistance

-Finally, I think it would have been cool if Harding is the only companion Solas actually refuses to try and sway regardless of their approval with Rook. Much in the same way Varric didn't nickname her because he feared her, I'd like to think Solas would know that having fucked with the dwarves enough, she's off-limits to manipulate because he regrets his actions so much. It would have been a cool way to actually explore that part of the narrative a little more, especially because I personally think (especially if you don't have Cadash in the game or a dwarven Rook) someone deserved to have a tough discussion with him, and given Harding's quest line, it would make sense to be her. Assuming she survives past Ghilan'nain's death, I think a cutscene while Rook is in the fade of him coming to her when we know she wants to believe that he can be saved or else it's all for nothing (I can't remember the exact quote right now, so apologies if I'm way off) and them having a really meaningful conversation about the Titans and the rage she holds would have been cool, especially since they did know each other and fight for the Inquisition together.

So yeah, just some thoughts I've had brewing, that's all.

[thefadecodex]

This is based on my theories and insights about spirits in DA, some inferred rather than stated. This was originally started on my main blog, when I was talking about the Evanuris and the spirits they originally embodied.

Introduction to Emotional Layers

Spirits Reflect Emotions:

Spirits are reflections of emotions and ideas, much like mirrors to human emotional experiences. They manifest the essence of specific feelings and concepts, embodying them as tangible entities in the Fade.

Human emotions vary in complexity, and this complexity is mirrored in the potential for spirits to exist across a spectrum from simple to nuanced.

Three Levels of Emotional Complexity:

Reflective Emotions – Deep, contemplative emotions requiring introspection (e.g., awe, grief, reverence). These are emotions tied to long-term meaning or purpose.

Routine Emotions – Emotions experienced in everyday life, forming the backdrop of most human experiences (e.g., contentment, annoyance, satisfaction).

Reactive Emotions – Immediate, instinctive responses rooted in survival and primal instincts (e.g., fear, anger, panic).

Parallels Between Spirits and Emotions

Layered Emotions and Spirits:

Just as emotions like happiness and excitement share a core connection but differ in energy and intensity, spirits may represent layered or evolving versions of similar concepts.

For example:

A Spirit of Curiosity might reflect the initial spark of interest, an exploratory and open-ended desire to learn.

A Spirit of Knowledge, on the other hand, could embody the culmination of curiosity—a deeper, more structured understanding gained through experience and study.

This layered representation shows how spirits might evolve or differentiate based on the complexity of the emotions or ideas they reflect.

Nuanced Spirits in Dragon Age:

The Fade hints at this emotional complexity through demons and spirits that reflect more sophisticated or layered versions of their core themes.

For example:

A demon of despair might differ in tone and behavior depending on the depth and source of the emotion it embodies, suggesting layers even among demons.

More specifically, we see a variant of Despair called 'Despair Undying,' in the Hossberg Wetlands in DATV.

Formation of Complex Spirits

Pathways to Complexity:

Spirits are not static entities; they may evolve or combine traits to reflect complex emotions, values, or concepts.

Possible evolution pathways:

Learning + Curiosity = [Knowledge]: A spirit that seeks to acquire understanding may evolve into a Spirit of Knowledge.

Understanding + Courage = [Insight]: A spirit that reflects empathy and bravery may grow into a Spirit of Insight.

[Knowledge] + [Insight] = Wisdom: Combining deep understanding and experience could result in the formation of a Spirit of Wisdom.

Example – Spirit of Wisdom Formation:

A Spirit of Wisdom may be the culmination of various interactions in the Fade or with the mortal world, learning from observing mortals or other spirits over time.

Multiple pathways could lead to the same concept, enriching the Fade’s diversity and its connection to mortal emotions.

Case Study: Mythal as Benevolence

Benevolence as a Complex Virtue:

Morrigan describes Mythal as a Spirit of Benevolence, a dynamic virtue rooted in intentional kindness and goodwill. Fandom theories suggest she may have once been a Spirit of Justice, which may provide support to the idea that spirits can evolve from simpler forms into more complex expressions of their nature.

[Justice] + [Compassion] = [Benevolence]

[Justice]: Fairness + Integrity

[Compassion]: Love + Empathy

Implications for Spirit Lore

Beyond Corruption Narratives:

The lore often simplifies spirit evolution as a binary process: uncorrupted spirits may turn into demons if influenced by negative emotions. However, this overlooks the potential for spirits to evolve in non-linear, non-corruptive ways.

Expanding Spirit Complexity:

A broader understanding of spirits provides a richer, less fear-driven perspective on their role in the Fade and Thedas.

It suggests untapped potential for spirits to form symbiotic relationships with mortals or even evolve through these connections (as we have seen with Wynne, for example).

Lore Retcons vs. Expansions:

This nuanced view of spirits doesn’t contradict existing lore but builds on it, exploring gaps in knowledge that arise from Thedas’s fear and distrust of the Fade.

The Fade is a realm of possibility and creativity; it is logical to assume that what we know is but a fraction of its true nature.

Concluding Thoughts

The Complexity of Spirits Reflects Human Experience:

Just as emotions are layered and multifaceted, spirits represent more than static concepts. They are dynamic, shaped by interactions, experiences, and the ever-changing tides of the Fade.

Reframing Fear of the Fade:

By moving away from fear-based narratives, the lore can open up new storytelling opportunities, highlighting spirits as reflections of humanity’s greatest strengths and vulnerabilities.

[theknightmarket]

Knight, knight, knight- a somewhat wholesome idea popped into my mind. The da is stuck inside the mirror right? What if they gained powers that allows them to travel through dreams? In a sense they have their adventures depends on the host person/enity and they just go along with.

and okay what if dark knew what the upsidedown world is capable? And its what drives dark to never fall asleep (aside not needing one) and also why is he so hellbent chasing and taking revenge on mark so when its all over, he'll take his rest, be with the da for eternity

"Good morning, sunshine."

In which Dark and the DA interact through unconventional means. Tw: death mention Pages: 17 - Words: 6,500

[Requests: OPEN]

The first time, you weren’t sure what had happened. You weren’t sure if it was good or bad. You weren’t sure whether it was because of something you had done, or it was just a random event, some miracle that had gotten you out of that mirror. Hell, you weren’t sure what was actually happening. How you got to some kind of bank or museum was pushed to the back of your mind, but so too were the events occurring right in front of you. It was embarrassing that this was the happiest you had been in decades, even if it was understandable.

To hear the distant whirring of inefficient streetlights, to see something other than a boundless sky of complete blackness that wrapped around you, under, above, disappearing into the floor and reappearing from the ceiling – it was enough to push you close to tears.

But confusion overruled that, instead, making you wonder why that was all you were given, why you couldn’t smell, or feel, or even taste.

And then horror rattled your senses as you watched a body step out from where you were standing.

Your initial idea was inaccurate.

Because you did not exist here.

Because you were not standing at the edge of a row of bushes, shaded by the night and staring into the doors of a building.

Because you were not out of the mirror.

Never mind being close to tears, you felt a few stray drops link up at the base of your jawline. You were scared to wipe them away for fear of finding yourself without hands.

So, what was this? If you hadn’t suddenly escaped from the mirror without your knowledge, why could you see a pair of criminals decked out in all black somewhere that was distinctly not a similar shade of void?

You asked yourself this, knowing fully well that you couldn’t give yourself an answer, and you wouldn’t get an answer for the foreseeable future. There were, however, some things that you managed to deduce over the course of the next hour or so – an indistinguishable period only because time seemed to be ever-so-slightly off.

That was the first of your clues; over the course of the adventure that you watched play out in front of you, each move from room to room took only the flick of a wrist, while the people you were following stared at each other for minutes at a time in complete silence. It was anyone’s guess as to when the clock would leap forward or jam its own mechanisms.

The second clue required no experimentation. It was simply that they didn’t acknowledge you at all. They didn’t make any indication that they could see or hear you. You were lost to them, worse than lost, they didn’t know you were there in the first place. They just sneaked around the museum, completely unaware of the person staring them dead in the eyes.

Had this experience happened any earlier, you might have felt more than a distant sting, but, as it was, it didn’t bother you too much. You were used to being ignored, cast away, forgotten. At least this was by people that you didn’t already know, people that you hadn’t survived the worst with, people that you didn’t trust with your very life, people that you once cared about and who you once thought cared about you.

Maybe it did bother you, just a little.

The third clue came a lot later than the others, but it spearheaded the theory that you were constructing in the back of your mind. Or, rather, the theory that you had constructed because the thing that gave it away?

It was when it all ended, and you were dumped unceremoniously back in the darkness, alone and uncertain of everything. That was one of the worst parts. Having occupied that space for nearly a century, you had been so sure in your knowledge of the place. You were in a mirror – there was nothing else there but you – you were stuck there. The most comfort you could find in the situation was that it wasn’t going to change.

But then it did, and you were pushed back to square one, taking tiny steps around the void, constantly worrying that a single foot in the wrong position would send you crashing through the ground. It was torturous to have your safety ripped away from you again, but what were you supposed to expect? Fate wasn’t kind, and it treated you like its personal plaything, only the game had morphed into something a little crueler.

Your theory, as unstable and undeveloped as it was, was that it was just a dream. In your state between life and death, your oh-so-generous master Fate had designed little shows for you. Entertainment was rare in the void, so what was kinder than giving you some? Never mind the fact that it drove you insane, you should have been grateful to get a glimpse of a life you could have lived had you not gone to that forsaken party. No need for you to lament your cruel undeath. The dreams were a kindness.

You didn’t know how it happened, how you had magically appeared somewhere else, so you didn’t know how to get there again. The outside, if that was what it was, quickly became a distant memory. It was fleeting, a whisp of smoke that intertwined itself between your fingers and then disappeared. It faded, just as the adrenaline and hope did as the seconds ticked by on a clock you couldn’t see.

And then it happened again.

By the end, you were on the edge of a breakdown. The shambles of your mind repulsed each shard of itself, trying to escape from the impossibility you were trapped in. You felt each crack that spiderwebbed across the surface. You felt each tap-tap-tap of tiny splinters falling. You felt it fighting the scenarios you were forced into.

This dream had the same people, but they acted completely different. They traded out their heist gear for formalwear, but their date didn’t last long. It devolved, like the other situation had, into weirder and weirder ends. Body doubles, a proposal, a prison much like you had seen before. Neither of them seemed to notice the similarity, though, and they went along through their routes without a care in the world. It might have been cute had it not made you sick to your stomach.

Regardless, though, you were distracted in the very final moments.

You had to admit, you were interested in how this one would end. It was a 50/50 with one of the original pair holding the gun, between two men who looked the same, both promising they were the one to be trusted. You weren’t paying attention, not initially. You had been tagging along behind the two for the better part of the entire day, and, at some point, you got bored enough to find more entertainment in the scenery than in the dilemma they were facing.

You missed nature more than you missed manslaughter cases.

You didn’t know who they shot in the end, but one of the men was laying on the ground when you snapped back to the ‘present’. You supposed you were meant to feel some kind of sympathy for him, the way that he crumpled to the ground, but it was difficult to find any emotion here. Instead, you leaned against the building that the two who were left ended up at. It was another of those jumps in time, not that any time could be wasted in a dream.

Was it bad that you were apathetic to all this? You knew it wouldn’t have consequences; you would return to the void again when this was all over, alone, and easily forgetting the events of the dream – but it still felt wrong to be so nonchalant about it. If you were any other sort of person, the kind who hadn’t been left alone for a century, being dragged into another scenario might have borne excitement. Seeing people, whether or not they saw you, might have given you hope.

But you weren’t that kind of person, and you weren’t excited or hopeful. You were a ghost, sent adrift in a house too new for you, ignored by the living who now inhabited it, and why shouldn’t you have been? They had no reason to care about you, they didn’t have to acknowledge you, they weren’t—

A spark of electricity like a bullet shot through you when you noticed the man sitting at the table. Not only had he not left yet, like the person you had been following, but he was staring straight at you.

The rising of your stomach made you think you were going to throw up. The quickening of your breath made you think you were going to pass out. The widening of his eyes made you think he felt the same. Neither of you acted, not for the first moments that it took for you to assess the situation, assess him.

Dark suit, dark hair, dark eyes. The only color about him were the rings of red and blue that waved off him like watercolor paints added to a canvas. They resisted one another but equally drew closer to the man’s edges. Regardless of the fight between them, he sat perfectly still. If there hadn’t been a certain look in his eyes – the glaze of someone who was both relieved and terrified – you might have mistaken him for being calm, however, there was that glaze, and it was a combination you were knocked breathless by because it was him. You recognized him.

And a similar sense of fear and comfort fired off in the chambers of your heart, hitting the walls as though they were a batting cage.

You took the first step, physically, and metaphorically. You didn’t think you would remain upright if you didn’t latch onto the empty chair for support as you muttered, “Dark?”

Your voice was rough in your throat. It felt more like you’d spat up a coat of oil than a real word. Years of disuse, the silence of the void that bid you follow suit, years of misuse, screaming into the pitch blackness for just a chance of an echo.

Hearing your own name sent back at you had you stumbling. Suddenly encased by your lost reality, you didn’t notice Dark jolt forward in his seat, hand barely outstretched and mouth semi-parted. Neither of you knew what he intended to do, but you acted first, dropping into the chair.

“How,” came his next words, slow, quiet, gentle like he was soothing an animal or someone he found dying on the road, “how are you here?”

Only his first question, and you couldn’t answer it. Not perfectly accurately, anyway, so your rough estimates would have to do. “I don’t know, I-I followed… I followed someone here.”

His fist clenching on the table caught your eye, but you were stopped from asking about it when he tried to clarify for you, “Mark.”

A myriad of other curiosities appeared – a frigid tone, bitter but unsurprised, and the warbling of the blue and red lines around him, among others – and yet they dissipated just as fast when he met your eyes. The search for something apparently proved fruitless; he leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs, and cocked his head to one side. A silent question. 

Why weren’t you angry?

Because you were completely fine upon hearing that name. In Dark’s mind, he considered it impossible that you should stay draped in the chair after the man that caused your demise was mentioned. No malice surfaced, no anger, no sadness, just a blink that was nothing more than an instinct. 

Maybe it had something to do with the years you had spent alone, or maybe you never held it against him in the first place. The actor had been unstable for months leading up to your reunion. The events weren’t expected, of course, and in no way would you have chosen to go through that if you had the ability to go back – but they were what happened. Resignation softened your body language and your mind, prompting you to pay more attention to the present than the past.

Right now, Dark’s comment only served to add to your theory.

“Why does it have to be Mark?” you asked, knocking the man across from you out of his stupor. “Why can’t I have followed the other person?”

His brow furrowed, and it made you wonder how much he knew about the situation, the thought that followed being how much he would tell you.

“Because they—” Dark drew into himself as soon as the words escaped his mouth, “—are not the one dreaming.”

It was your turn to look curious. You were a person of fact by nature. Magic and demons and expansive, blank voids, they were fairytales used to scare children back into their beds at night. Simply put, they weren’t real. And the power of dreams? What stock were you supposed to put in that?

So, without another option, you said, simply, “Explain.”

And explain Dark did.

Having one third of your form come from the void had its perks, especially in describing its powers, the influence it had, what it could do. And, as you proceeded to hear, it could do a lot – more than you had ever imagined it capable of, given the absolute nothingness of it – but the thing that interested you the most was the accessibility of it.

Things like the entities, the ones that made up Dark and took over Celine’s body, were able to use the void like a hub. It allowed them to jump from place to place within seconds. Without a physical form, it would have otherwise been difficult to move around. Hell, it was difficult to move around, because getting out of the void was much harder than getting in. It required one very specific ability.

One that you did not possess.

“And you put me in there.”

“I did.” 

He said this with no emotion. It wasn’t an apology, nor was it a threat; it was a simple statement of fact, an admission without the guilt. You didn’t know if he had the ability to feel it. As far as your knowledge went, the inhumane entity within Dark took away the chance of it, leaving only the reality behind, as unbelievable as it sounded.

“Did you know I wouldn’t be able to get out?” was the only thing you asked.

This time, there was a short pause before he answered. The memory unwound in his mind while he processed the question. You had asked if he knew, and he asked himself the same thing. Objectively, yes. There was no way that a human – flesh, bones, blood – would be able to leave the void, and Dark understood that. He had never believed otherwise.

And yet, there had been something else behind his actions, because it wasn’t his intention to keep you locked up inside the mirror.

Slowly, tasting the words in his mouth, he repeated, “I did.” The response felt right, he wasn’t lying, but…

You watched as Dark leaned forward in his chair, elbows on the table and head resting on his clasped hands. Everything was deliberate. His suit jacket didn’t crease if he didn’t want it to, and his tie stayed flush against his shirt where it was meant to be, but the look in his eye made you think he was anything but conscious of the present. This seemed to be affecting him more than you, and you were the one with the vitamin D deficiency. 

The confirmation that yes, he knew kept repeating like a broken record in Dark’s mind. However, it wasn’t because that puzzled him. Really, it was the only thing that made sense. What actually threw him through a loop was the simple fact that it hadn’t mattered. Trapping you in the void, keeping you away from the real world, was not the logical option. If he had been looking for the best way to carry out his pledge of revenge on Mark, getting rid of Damien would have been the best option. He had the obligations of the mayor of a city, he had an awkward relationship with the actor – both too distant and not far enough – and he was so, so painfully emotional. Painfully human.

Celine hated Mark so much that she thrived on the plan’s progress. The thought of revenge nourished her and made Dark stronger. She had the determination he needed to go through with it all. She was the obvious choice to keep in that amalgamation of souls. The entity was staying, and that was that, no deliberation required. 

That left just you and Damien. 

Dark had seen you work, or, rather, Damien had the memories of you in the court room. To surmise, you were good, very good, and you were able to separate your emotions from the case. While the witness on the stand was hurling profanities, you made eye contact and stood your ground. If the prosecutor started floundering, you pounced on the opportunity to tear about their words. You were exact, efficient, and a force to be reckoned with. 

But poor, sweet Damien? He was always at the back of Dark’s mind, his best excuse for a conscience that constantly reminded him what the moral choice was, regardless of whether he had taken the last one, or the one before that, or the one before that. He was persistent. He was a liability. It wasn’t a shock that he turned out to be the only thing stopping him from latching on to Mark in one of his dreams and killing him when he woke up.

So, the question was: why did Dark push you out and keep Damien?

As if sensing the answer was in arm’s reach, something – and he said something, but he knew what, who, it was – forced him to look up and at you.

Well, that explained it.

Dark’s inner monologue took no more than thirty seconds, even with the strange tick-tock of the clock in a dream, and you watched him and nothing but him in that time. You were still looking at him when he snapped back to the present. As though someone had snapped their fingers, you saw the calculating cold, the pressing tension, the rampant search for an answer melt away in layers to reveal the truth behind it all. As he leaned back into his seat and laid his arms out on the sides, the creases at his eyes softened and a faint smile pulled at his lips.

“The mirror was not meant to be a prison,” Dark started to explain before he was overcome with the pointless need to take a deep breath. Your expression of pure curiosity pulled at his unmoving heart, squeezing it in a grip that he didn’t describe as uncomfortable. Gently and unable to look away, he continued, “And I’m sorry that it was one. I intended it to be a sanctuary, of sorts.”

A flash of confusion darted through your eyes, and Dark rushed to continue before it could turn into suspicion. “I wanted to keep you away from Mark, away from the consequences of everything.”

It was at the end of that sentence, with perfect timing, that his neck was snapped to the side. The bones popped and the nerves twisted. He tried to play it off, but you clearly noticed. Your concern made his heart clench just as painfully as his neck, so he brought a hand up to show that he was fine.

You didn’t believe him, and he didn’t make it any more convincing when he said, “You would have died.”

You knew that; your body was dead on impact, but that wasn’t what he was talking about. Instead, because of him, your soul was alive, even if it only existed in the confines of a metaphysical world. 

A question about the integrity of your survival died on your tongue as you registered the strange frown on Dark’s face. It twitched at the sides, threatening to pull further down, but he kept it as straight as he could. The same couldn’t be said about the few tears brimming in the corners of his eyes. He almost succeeded at containing his emotion until one betrayed him and slid to his jawline with a mutter of, “I had to save you.”

“Thank you.”

His breath caught in his throat at your response. For all his monologues and explanations, he hadn’t expected you to be grateful. You, of all people, thanked him, and it wasn’t a joke. He had never seen as genuine a smile on anyone’s face, him not having met more than four people notwithstanding, to the point that it almost lit up the gray of his skin to a normal tone.

And you did mean it. The man in front of you – the one currently tearing up at the mere possibility of losing you – wasn’t malicious. Being the district attorney had given you the almost magical ability to tell when someone was lying. It had served you well in court, and it served you well here. The conclusion you came to took no longer than a few seconds. Personal history did have its benefits, after all, and you had learned long ago how to not be impeded by a pretty face. From all the evidence in front of you, Dark was trustworthy.

You trusted him.

“Of course,” he replied as his hand darted to the lapel of his jacket to sturdy himself. The attention was almost too much, and he found his mouth moving before he understood what he wanted to say. “You said you followed Mark here?”

You nodded, disregarding the fact that Dark had told you that you had followed Mark, for his sake. You also didn’t mention his shaky attempt to compose himself and waited for his next words. You weren’t in any rush to speed things along; for all you knew, talking to Dark was the only thing keeping you in this dream. It surprised you that you hadn’t been dropped back into the void yet, but you didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, it had its other advantages.

You hadn’t seen Dark since the first time on that fateful night, and it took everything out of you to not see him, or anyone else, again. When you were in the pitch black, you imagined that you would get attached to the first person you saw, and it was a shock to you when that wasn’t the case. The nature drew you in before Mark or his partner in crime could, but you had still tried to talk to them. During your experimentation, you had whispered in their ears, yelled at them, said all manner of things to get their attention, but none had worked, so you quickly moved on. Nothing kept you around them.

But there was something with Dark. The space around you shifted, as if the dream itself recognized the moment and gave it a wide berth. Out of respect or fear or nothing, you didn’t know, yet it was undeniable that it happened, and you were glad it did. You wanted to preserve the bubble of safety that had molded around you. There was a part of you that bargained with the dream, as inane as that sounded, to get more time with Dark. The clock worked differently here, so why couldn’t it grant you a slower pace?

Unaware of your mental bartering, Dark pushed on with his questioning. It came as a surprise to you, having not been focusing at all on the present. 

“How?”

You had to take a second to remember what you were talking about, but, when it came to you, you realized you weren’t able to give him much.

“I don’t know. I’m normally stuck in the void, but lately it’s been tossing me around. I went somewhere else before, a heist of some kind. It was much more complicated than this, though.”

You hadn’t paid much attention to the paths this time. There was much less to explore, and the hope of having escaped had worn off. You were fairly certain they were the same people, too, so any contact was old news. You weren’t interested in the heist dream either, not after the sixth time you ended up outside that museum with the pair of thieves.

Despite that, Dark appeared to make up for your lack of enthusiasm; he practically lunged, one hand steadying his body on the back of the chair as he leaned forward, so much so that he was half bent over the table between you.

In a breathless voice, he asked, “Where?” It was more of a demand, really, colored so from the unfamiliar want. It took a moment for him to realize himself, and he then sat back down in the seat. One hand went to card through his hair, throwing it about haphazardly as he amended, “Where were you? I… I was there, but, evidently, we didn’t see each other.”

As you thought through your response, Dark took the time to reprimand part of his mind for his outbursts. He couldn’t afford to break down right now, there were far more important things at stake that made getting distracted too risky, no matter how much the voice in the back of his mind begged to be let loose.

Before you opened your mouth, he managed to similarly berate his general self for thinking it a semi-appealing idea.

“I was distracted,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “It all felt so real.”

When you stared down at your hands, the outlines of your fingers shimmered, and the veins on the undersides of your wrists pulsed with white light. How were you to know you weren’t alive? Were you a fool for thinking you had escaped, for being tricked, like an owner who had thrown a ball for a dog but just held it behind their back? You went off chasing it, of course, not noticing the stranger things around you. You were too obsessed with the mundane and the possibility that you had a body when you should have known that you didn’t.

Hearing that Dark had been in the same place, maybe, at one point, right under your nose, a deep sense of regret unfurled in your stomach. You had lamented not being able to talk to anyone, but you had ignored the one chance you had at it. If you had just paid more attention, your heart wouldn’t be trying to destroy itself.

As if sensing your spiraling discomfort, the red and blue lines around Dark flared and spasmed. They whipped out at places and curled in at others, mimicking radio waves with their peaks and troughs. It brought your attention to the current moment, and you were glad it did because you became acutely aware of the expression on the face of the man opposite you.

In the midst of the cold, calculating cover he tried to pull, there was a hint of desperation peeking through the weak spots. His eyes, ever the window to the soul, were still glossy with unshed tears, and his mouth, no matter how much focus he put towards smirking, dipped for seconds at a time. You wanted nothing more than to lean forward and comfort him, but the dream was an unkind thing; your legs didn’t cooperate, you were unable to move an inch to brush the drops away.

You offered him the most you could, saying gently, “This feels different.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I think so.”

Any reason you had in mind was wiped away when a tingling sensation danced at the tips of your fingers. It was something like a limb falling asleep, but it was spreading fast. Your heart rate sped up to a dangerous speed as it got faster and faster, turning into a wildfire that stopped you feeling anything, and it only got worse when you looked down.

Your hands had completely disappeared, the space empty where they had been before. Looking to the ground, you saw nothing but a neon white, which likewise surrounded you when you glanced around you. This hadn’t happened before, and it was terrifying you.

“It’s okay,” Dark said. Thankfully, he didn’t sound panicked – you didn’t think you could handle it if he wasn’t as calm as he was – and he even went so far as to start explaining. You had always liked knowing things. A smile snuck onto Dark’s face as he remembered the singular time that you had been forced to explore negative capability in university, which ended with you throwing the textbook out of the window. In any other situation, he might have teased you for it, but you didn’t have the time.

“The dream is ending,” he started, trying to sound confident despite the fear of not seeing you again nestling itself in his heart. “I suppose you’ve never strayed this far from the start before.”

You shook you head; at the end of the heist, before you were dumped back into the void, you had been standing just where you began, in front of the museum. Now, you didn’t know where you were, but you calmed yourself with Dark’s clarification. Well, his clarification and the pressure of his hand against your upper arm. The contact was inches away from empty air, and you feared for a moment of irrational indulgence that it would speed up and you would lose the feeling. 

Your attention snapped back to Dark as he continued talking, “It works outwards. Everything will disappear eventually, but we’re on the edge. We have time.”

He refrained from telling you exactly how much time you had left here, all too aware that it would make you flounder. He had watched the environment disappear before. It wasn’t comforting and it wasn’t pretty, so he preferred staying in the darkness, where it wasn’t as obvious that everything was gradually fading away. Finding you in the daylight was a stoke of luck, a miracle. The only reason why he was out there in the first place was because…

“Mark is around here, too.”

You nodded, a simple confirmation or more complicated agreement, he wasn’t sure, but he stood from his seat, nevertheless. Your torso was gone, now, nothing but a shimmering outline that was gradually disappearing itself. You were close to completely returning to the void, and there was a part of Dark that was unimaginably frightened it would be for the last time.

Another part reminded him of what he was supposed to do, told him it would help you if he adapted to this, convinced him that it was the right thing to do. It surprised him when the resistance that normally came with that simply didn’t.

His legs moved on their own towards the parking lot, where he knew Mark still was, but your voice stopped him before he passed you.

“Come back safe, alright?”

How was he supposed to say no to you? When you were looking at him with such trust and belief, it was impossible.

He leaned down to press his lips against your forehead. Your skin was surprisingly warm, considering your situation, but that might have come from his natural coolness. Still, it was nice. A good contrast that had the back of his mind focused entirely on the feeling. 

“Of course.”

The shimmering was gone, and you along with it. 

Dark stepped back, registered a strange satisfaction in his heart, and took a deep breath.

The actor was dead within the hour.

It didn’t take much, surprisingly. In fact, it was quite easy. As Dark stood above Mark’s finally vacant body – returned once and for all to the state it should have been in – he found no burst of adrenaline. No anger, no sadness, no passion. Nothing but the dull hum of satisfaction, just the same as the one from when you had disappeared. It was done, and that was that.

Mark was dead. Damien and Celine were appeased. 

His job was complete.

He dropped the bloody axe to the floor, the clatter and thud not reaching his ears. Someone else would bury the body. Another would open an investigation into his death. A deep cut, like one from felling a tree, wasn’t going to be described as natural. It didn’t matter, though; arresting someone who should have already been dead was as difficult as murdering one. Dark had nothing to fear.

He also had nothing to do. There were no more plans to be made, no more vengeance to be enacted, and you had told him to come back safe, right? Maybe taking a rest wasn’t such a bad idea.

The manor, Dark’s base of operations that he loathed to call his base of operations, was quiet when he arrived back. It didn’t bother him, he had never appreciated the bustle and boom of all the parties once hosted there. It had prompted one part of him to find a safe space in a spare bedroom at one end of the house, and that was exactly what he needed – somewhere to be that didn’t come with the strings of tracking down Mark.

The door creaked as he pushed it open and groaned as he closed it again. Despite the confines of a tailored suit, he didn’t stop himself from falling onto the untouched sheets of the bed. It had been so long since he had laid down; for the past century, he had either been ramrod straight or sitting in his chair, and laying sideways across a desk hadn’t done him any good.

This position was much better. Was this the kind of ‘different’ you had spoken about? He hoped so, with the relaxation that ran through him. It was enough to coax him to close his eyes and let it all go, like a siren at the edge of a boat on stormy seas.

And then came the voice of one, too.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Slowly, Dark opened his eyes again, with the distinct feeling of trust firm in his heart. A new voice in the manor would normally be cause for concern, but he knew the voice. He knew you.

The only thing he didn’t know was what was happening.

When he knocked himself out of his sentimentality, Dark was greeted by the sight of you against the backdrop of the moonlight. He was still in that room, resting on the bed, but everything seemed altered in some way. You were the most obvious difference, and he was half sure that you were behind the softness of the scene, as if, in the time he was out, you had painted over the furniture, the walls, the light itself.

You dropped down on the edge of the bed as Dark pulled himself into a sitting position.

“I’m not,” he started, but he was forced to trail off. He didn’t know how to verbalize a single thought, and yet that wasn’t as frightening as he thought it would be. With you, he didn’t think it possible to be scared. Still, he tried again, “You’re…”

You shook your head and reached to place your hand over his. This was the first time you had made contact with him, and he quickly found he never wanted it to end.

“No, I’m not alive,” you answered his silent question, “and neither are you, by the looks of things.”

“I don’t understand.”

You didn’t expect him to. When he had sat across from you, he radiated a certain poise and manner that only came with certainty. You had seen it in witnesses, prosecutors, clients. They all acted the exact same when they were on their home turf, and when they were moved away from it.

Luckily, Dark was taking it better than they did – there was less yelling and cursing and threatening – but there was still the undercurrent of concern.

It was your turn to explain as you said, “You killed Mark. You did what you needed to do.”

“Exactly, he’s gone.”

He said it with a small smile, but his downturned eyebrows and deeper breaths betrayed the confusion.

You brought your other hand over his unattended one and collected the two into a grip. “Oh, my dear, he’s not the only one who can dream.”

Taking advantage of his lapse in troubled thoughts, you dipped your head to lightly kiss the exposed skin of his knuckles. They were weathered by time, a statue left outside too long, and you hoped to sooth some of the damage the elements had done.

“You look tired,” you muttered.

“I am.”

“Go on, then.” 

You tried not to return your hands to his when you saw the flash of fear on his face as you took them away to gesture vaguely at the headrest. A trio of fresh, fluffed pillows lay there, and, although you wondered just how comfortable his suit could be, you wanted him to relax some. This wasn’t the waking world, after all.

While Dark shifted to remove his jacket, you drifted towards the fireplace along the wall opposite. The burst of flame calmed down quickly, blending into small embers behind the grate. 

“From what I’ve been able to figure out, it’s a replica of the manor from its better days. I think it’s empty but sometimes I hear…”

In a case of excellent timing, the distant squeal of childish laughter came from down the hallway. It was followed by footsteps, quickening, and then sliding into another room. You never saw who exactly was out there, but based on the man staring at the door, you were safe to assume the possibilities.

“Better days,” he repeated, nodding to himself, and then looked back at you. You always were so smart.

You returned to Dark’s side after securing more logs in the hearth, though you hesitated, standing awkwardly with a hand to your chest.

No words were needed for him to realize your thought process, so he offered a hand of his own, which you took without further deliberation. It took another soft tug for you to relax against him, at which point he curled an arm around your shoulders and brought you as close as possible, but it was solely your decision to reach up and undo his tie, draping it over a post once it was fully removed.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

You were content to leave it at that. Hell, you had been content to stay standing beside him while he slept, but this was much better.

Dark, however, pressed a kiss to the back of your head, sighed, and mumbled, “How do I know I won’t wake up?”

You twisted in his hold to look at him. For all the love and trust his eyes held, it wasn’t enough to completely mask a genuine desperation.

“Do you want to wake up?” you asked, simply and plainly.

He responded in the same fashion. “No.”

“Then you won’t. It’s your dream, after all, and I think you deserve to rest.”

That was all it took for the fear to melt away. Dark’s eyes fell shut, and he knocked his head against yours for a moment, just to savor the feeling, before he fully leaned forward and connected your lips.

It was a tired, late-night kiss that you shared. You wouldn’t lie, you had imagined you would have one after a rough day at the office, pressing cases and pressing clients that got on your nerves, instead of finally relaxing with a man you had never thought you’d see again – but it still served the same purpose. It made your heartbeat slow and your shoulders drop. The slow dance between the two of you brought smiles to your faces, tender and loving. It was a silent agreement that this was the ending you had hoped for.

What a dream this was. 

[Thank you so much for requesting, and I'm sorry for the delay! I thought that I’d be able to get more done over these past weeks, but college projects have taken up a lot of my time, unfortunately. On the other hand, if anyone wants to take about British witchcraft in the 1600s or mental health post-World War 2, hit me up, because I’m about to knock my teeth out over this :D! On a lighter note, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed <3]

[talonabraxas]

Seven Dimensions of the Mind

Awareness and the Seven Dimensions

Awareness itself functions differently from one dimension to another. When we look at life from the fourth dimension, we see more in depth than we can from the third or the second. Remember when we studied the second dimension, we found no depth at all? Then we created the third. We put depth and life, vigor and vitality to the second dimension of things that was just sitting there. Next we became tangled in this vigor and vitality, in the relationships between people and people and people and things, and the subconscious was created. The sense of ego, of personality, evolved out of the third dimension, for it is composed strictly of odic, magnetic force. The intellect and emotions dominated us.

When we released awareness to travel freely in the mind by managing positively the second and third dimensions, we entered another perspective. We gained the overview, a mountaintop consciousness from which we could see a nine-day scope of time and look into and through all of the intricacies of the third dimension and how it is created. In a sense, we put more light into the third dimension, the dark area of the mind. [Here, the term awareness refers to: Individual consciousness; perception; knowing; the witness of perception, “the inner eye of the soul.”]

When we are in inner darkness and confusion, that is the third dimension totally. But as we brought more light into the third dimension and saw how it was constructed, we were in the fourth dimension and could also look into the deeper dimensions. From the fifth dimension, we became aware of the intricacies and the inner workings of the fourth dimension, seeing what psychic nerves look like, seeing how psychic nerve currents draw their energy from the central source of energy. In the fifth dimension, we became aware of a bright light that filled the cranium. In a flash we intuited vast knowledge and saw the creation, preservation and destruction of objects over seemingly great spans of time simultaneously in the now. A deep love, a universal and all-embracing love, unfolded. Compassion burst forth as we came to understand the predicament of our fellow man.

Awareness, too, changed. Instead of traveling or flowing through the mind, now it could focus and look into any area without seeming to move. Experiences came before our inner vision, and we could even bring past and future into the now. Later we evolved into the sixth dimension, where all form is reduced to sound and color. The devonic or heavenly realm of forces as represented by Gods, Deities and devas became manifest. From the sixth dimension, which corresponds to the ajna chakra or third eye, inner worlds opened and light flooded through the entire body.

The seventh dimension, or sahasrara chakra, brought us into pure consciousness or pure space void of form—awareness aware only of itself. Here awareness finally withdraws even from the magnificent visions of superconsciousness, and with no objects is able to contemplate itself as kaif». Finally, the snake swallows its own tail, awareness dissolves and only That remains, the Self God beyond all dimensions of the mind.

Of course, it is one thing to hear about the dimensions, to be intellectually fascinated by the vastness of this perspective, and quite another to make them an experiential part of our lives. That is what must be done next. Identify the dimensions within the context of your own personal experience. Ask yourself, “Which dimension does this kind of happening belong to? How does one dimension relate to and exist within another inside of me?” Mark off the various areas of the mind. Map them out carefully and you will identify and enjoy aspects of yourself you never knew existed before.

You will observe that man is a whole, the totality of all existence residing within him in various layers of subtle and gross vibration, evolving ever more subtle as the continuum penetrates deeper into his being, reaching ultimately the timeless, spaceless Reality of himself which he then identifies as the one Reality in all of existence.

[igglemouse]

Unfortunately, my idiot 'sister' Dre has decided that she will be visiting me more often to help me adjust to life on this silly planet of yours. She thinks it's her duty to be as annoying as possible and wants to apparently teach me how to ear. Yes, eating. You beings still do this. On Sixam, we absorb the nutrients we need or just take capsules but as I understand it is an entire thing for your kind. Seems like a waste of time and resources to me but according to Dre I must do it to help blend in with silly little creatures.

So over a bowl of what you call apple salad, messy, sticky, slimy, apple salad, we talk. I tell her about my first day and about the human I've met, the one with the light hair? "She was cautious," I say, staring at this bowl of junk before me. "She didn't appreciate the whole tongue flicking thing," I point out, remembering the moment of uncomfort between us.

"Zer, did you go through any of the body language experience I sent you?" She asks, her wrigglers wriggling a little violently. Annoyance. She's looking at me as if I'm the stupid one. Do you see what I mean with her? Why I loathe her so?

"N-no..." I admit, feeling some of the heat from her eyes. "That first one you sent me was like five hours long. I didn't have time for that!" I say jabbing at a slice of apple and refusing to bring it closer to my mouth.

She groans as if she is dealing with a child. "That was the shortest one, Zer. These creatures speak through body language, small things, things you must learn if you expect to blend in. You can't just go flicking your tongue out, it reminds them of one of their creatures here, snakes, I believe they call them, and other various reptiles...reptiles? Scaly, egg laying-"

"Ugh!" she's explaining them to me because I also did not study about the other animals on this planet. "Maybe it is the snakes who should be in charge!"

"So, what did you do for your entire trip here?" Dre looks at me and she's clearly judging me. "Did you study anything?"

"I played the video games you sent me," I reply proudly. "As I understand it, they are the main delivery of knowledge for this species." I fold my arms, pride steaming through me, because it was clear to me that these 'games' are a vital part of your education system.

Dre's chuckling tells me I am wrong and that I perhaps have made another mistake. "I sent you those for your own amusement, Zer. There is nothing to be learned from those things. They're just there to waste time."

"Ugh! You are trying to sabotage me, aren't you Dre?" DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN WITH THIS ONE?! "You've always been jealous of my status in our birth group! Always been envious of my-"

"We have the same status-"

"And yet you are beneath me," I remind her, gaining the upper hand. She needs this, she needs constant reminders of her place among her siblings. I am the one destined for greatness, I am the one who has been gifted this world to mold and do with on my own.

"Any ways," she sighs as dramatically as possible. Do you understand now why I loathe this woman? She does this a lot, by the way, and it's always unwarranted. "This woman, Tammy? I doubt she is S.I.B."

"Oh, and please tell me why you think this, oh great Dre."

"Ah, you'd know...something is off about those types. They are human and yet..." her wrigglers twitch, fear? "It's hard to explain. There's a lot going on here on this planet and half of it I can't explain."

Dre's certainty that Tammy isn't S.I.B does little to make my day better because she seems pretty creeped out about the whole thing. As for Tammy, I was very nice to her, right? I decide not to dwell on it, I'm sure I'll meet her again and will win her over.

I spend the rest of my morning recycling because, frankly, someone on this planet has to. I think I've mentioned that there is plastic everywhere on this planet, everywhere. I get it, it's a versatile little resource and you can use it to make almost anything and everything but that doesn't mean you should. The sheer carelessness of your species confounds me but at least you'll have me to clean up your messes.

I remind myself that I'll need to keep up with your news if I'm going to take over this planet but I admit, your so called 'leaders' are absolutely insane. Democracy, a scam system ran by inferior beings such as yourselves, is a failure. How does anything et done with everyone going in ten different directions? Inefficient, chaotic, and just simply stupid. We Sixams have it right, one world, one leader. Simple, effective, orderly.

The rest of my day goes as you might expect, nothing remarkable, just a steady routine of doing, well, nothing. That is until my idiot assistant shows up. Again. She seems determined to haunt me and the mere sight of her around my garbage little home would get my wrigglers wriggling if only they were out to wriggle.

She thinks she's here to help, I'm sure, but all she does is point out the mistakes she thinks I'm making or smirking in my face as if she knows all the answers. One day, when this planet is mines, she'll understand her place. For now, I'll do my best to deal with her.

This time she's here to educate me on how you beings court one another. Apparently, she thinks this is information I need to know, I disagree. "So, you're telling me they do this physically?" This sounds messy.

"Yes, Zer," she looks exasperated again as if she's losing patience with me. "So you really have learned nothing on your way here?"

"Why should I?" I shoot back. "They are clearly a primitive life form."

"That may be but you have to know that things are different here. Like I've mentioned, they procreate physically still and quite enjoy it, it is pleasurable for them, it drives a lot of their social interaction-"

"Uh huh," I wave my hand dismissively, the less I know about this the better I think.

"You, Zer are quite attractive. So the men here might hit on you-"

"Hmmm, to what purpose?" I ask the question I should not have asked.

She sighs and then transmits me a message of what you beings do when you want to procreate. I am quite frankly disgusted. The male puts his what in your what and then?!?! No thanks! On Sixam, the male covers your eggs in his sperm, completely in private, and then you swallow them, like pills, although this is only the terrestrial option. Either way my head is shaking at the thought of what you humans do.

"That will absolutely not be happening when it comes to me and I am insulted that you'd show me such a thing! ESPECIALLY mentally!"

I do not waste much time kicking her out of the house, my house, shoving her through the door as if doing so would banish the mental images she's cursed me with. On Sixam, we are past such things!

"I am sorry Zer but I figure you need to know!" She insists, stumbling out of the house, trying to get back in my good graces of course. "The males here on this planet can be quite aggressive when wanting to-"

"Yes yes Dre, please do not bring this up again," I cut her off, the images of your kind pressed up together doing who knows what stuck in my mind. "Put on your disguise too you silly little thing!"

I spend the rest of the day doing nothing but taking in the world around me, my world. It is a strange and chaotic planet but I must admit, there is beauty here. It is hidden beneath layers of smog, but beauty nonetheless. The colors, the landscapes, the resilient of life on this planet is inspiring in a primitive way. I'll do what I can to save this dying world but I am no hero, of course, because I intend to polish it and present it as a rare gem before the great Sixam empire. After all, what's the point of conquering a planet if its not worth ruling?

Zer Avoi ~ Episode 1.3

[spot-the-antisemitism]

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/cookiemmilk/769602273303265280/im-black-and-i-think-zionism-is-just-neo-nazism

I didn’t go looking for this, I wasn’t purveying tags or anything. Just scrolling through my dashboard on Tumblr, and bam! Here’s a zero note post comparing Zionism to Neo-Nazism. Which, even if someone full heartedly believed Zionism is racism and all that…that still wouldn’t make it neo-Nazism. Sorry, actually they said “Zionism is Neo-Nazism but for Jewish people” (the sentence is so stupid). The bullshit never makes sense even if you apply their own logic (which, I suppose is a feature not a bug). This incessant need to compare Israel to Nazi Germany is straight up antisemitic, it’s “the Jews are just as bad as the Nazis now” which proves they have a concerning lack of knowledge regarding the Holocaust because no, there’s no similarities between the Third Reich and Modern-day Israel. The situations are entirely different, but of course they (idiots, antisemitic idiots, and those using the Holocaust as some kind of gotcha against Israelis and Jewish people) don’t really care about that do they?

Disclaimer: Islamophobia is bad, undeniable so and if/when it shows up in UK media it ought to be denounced (I don’t really read UK news so not entirely familiar with the typical racist rhetoric that is used over there). But to say, “why doesn’t the world care about Palestine?” Is just a baffling question. The world does care (arguably), I mean why else are charities giving out aid and distributing food over there? Why is Anera and the WCF over there if the world doesn’t care? I mean, didn’t countries start declaring Palestine a state recently as well? I mean, the countless protests in Israel against their own government, grassroots organizations and interfaith organizations all trying for peace in the region, etc etc. the protests here as well (even though I feel the U.S. protests tend to be mostly for-show, not actually effective, and concerningly antisemitic).

You could say “I feel like people don’t care enough” or “people might care but there’s no action being done to help Palestine” or “there isn’t enough being done to help Palestine / Palestinians”. One could argue that various governments could be doing more, that Israel could be doing more, and so on! Whether their arguments stand up or not is another matter, but that would be an understandable statement to make! Why the fuck is so hard for people to make valid criticisms of a country and its military operations without veering straight into conspiracy theories and antisemitism and Nazi comparisons?

Just realized, I think OP is using the revised Wikipedia version of the definition of Zionism, which you covered sometime ago. The section of “Hitler’s goals” explicitly says European Jews, which I don’t disagree with necessarily BUT that feels like it misses the whole fact that there were also camps in North African countries like Tunisia, Algeria, Morocco and so on?

Like just a quick search gives multiple sources on North Africa during WW2. Those are the quick sources I used for reference (I know you know all that, I’m just saying where I got my stuff from).

https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/gallery/camps-in-north-africa

https://theconversation.com/north-africans-experiences-of-world-war-ii-often-go-unheard-194326

https://www.yadvashem.org/holocaust/about/outbreak-of-ww2-anti-jewish-policy/north-africa-and-middle-east.html#narrative_info

I have no fucking clue what “too many black people go all Zionism” means. Can’t tell if they’re complaining about people voting blue but supporting Israel? Is that a weird pro-Trump dig or “both sides are bad”? It doesn’t really matter I suppose, nitpicking one tiny detail of a shitty post.

What the actual fuck does “at least they know not to use their families death for their own gain like Zionists do” mean? How fucking…I don’t even…is this meant to be a “look Zionists (bad Jews) are using the Holocaust as an excuse to oppress Palestinians”? What a vile thing to say.

A cursory glance at their blog reveals the usual “Jews are Nazis, Zionists are Nazis” shit and “The Oscars / Academy Awards show is a conspiracy, Israel is using it as cover” shit.

if I’ve misspoken or said anything out of turn, please let me know (I mean this all in good faith). I don’t want to seem too charitable towards someone being antisemitic, I’m just trying to understand their (irrational) logic, nor do I want to dismiss Palestinian suffering either while mentioning I/P.

Oh man either Nation of Islam takes another black person into hating Jews instead of white supremacy

or they're a russian bot who all claim to be black women (and the OTHER reason tumblr bans black women so much) but their unnatural speech pattern and their innefective tagging screams bot

thanks for the investigation!

[leezlelatch]

There seems to be some discourse lately about content, the kind of content, and the community as a whole. Now, the last thing I want to do is stir up anything, but I had some thoughts that I'd like to type out, and I appreciate whomever decides to read it.

The purpose of this band is to make us happy. You've heard it time and time again, as long as we go home at the end of that show feeling just a little better, then TF is satisfied. And it seems like lately that happiness is hard to achieve here, on twitter, or wherever else one is active.

On Headcanon

Were you sitting at work today? Home? And suddenly that thought popped into your head, a little scene playing out about Copia, or Terzo, or Secondo, or Primo. A thought that filled you with excitement, butterflies dancing in your belly, which had you smiling because yes, in the world that makes you happy, that is what they are like. That is what they do. That is what they say. It's an amazing thing and it's good and okay, and you should be excited about it. Because you just added another chapter to the amazing story in your head. And you decide to post about it, but...someone left you an anon. Someone left you a comment. Someone vague posted. And it hurt.

This is happening far too often across tumblr, and it needs to come to a close. I understand that we all have vastly different ideas of who the Papas are and how the Ministry works, but that does not give a single one of you an excuse to say anything untoward or foul to anyone else on this platform. And this isn't talking about any particular group because more often than not, posts like this are used to justify the actions of others. You do not have permission to use this to further your agenda. Be kind. Choose to ignore that fic. Choose to stay off that person's blog. Stop making posts at the expense of others just because you don't like a particular aspect of their world.

I promise you'll still be able to sleep at night.

On F! Reader and x Reader Fic

I have seen many posts since I joined tumblr to write for the Ghost fandom that express a dislike toward reader fics, and in particular f! reader fics. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd like to just reflect on my own thoughts on the matter, and once again, I appreciate the time taken to read and perhaps understand where I'm coming from, and know that it is a place of care.

I am a woman. When I write fic, I am writing it to satisfy my own little world in my head. So naturally, I am going to make the reader female, because the universal you is not only the friends I share it with or those kind enough to read, but the you is me. Every sweet word whispered, or gentle touch from a Papa is something I wish would happen to me.

I do not have the right to invade someone else's perspective. I do not understand what it is to be a gay man. I do not understand what a trans person experiences every day, and therefore, I do not feel like it is my place to write these perspectives in an x reader fic, or more so than that, in smut. And otherwise, I'm just not comfortable in doing so. I know my experience, and isn't the first step of writing, writing what you know?

I want there to be inclusivity in writing, but that doesn't start with attacking other authors for writing from their own perspective. It doesn't start with making hostile posts about reader fics, because what's the outcome? You just end up with some people very hurt and unwilling to post their stories because they think it's unwanted.

If you feel comfortable exploring these topics, talk to your mutuals. Say hey, what can I do to gain a better understanding of the content that I'm writing? What can I do to ensure that I'm not fetishizing due to my lack of knowledge? Be a community, and help each other out.

On Notes and Reblogs

A note is not the value of your writing. Whether you receive just a few or hundreds, you have impacted someone. Someone loved your story. Someone is thinking about your story all day. Someone was able to make it through because that one thing line you wrote spoke volumes to them.

We put so much of our energy into worrying about notes that the reason we started writing in the first place is lost. It becomes a chore. There are a hundred WIPs sitting in our folders because it becomes so goddamn painful just to work on one.

No one owes you a reblog. No one owes you a like. And even though it's nice, and it's gratifying to see nice comments on something you worked hard on, notes cannot be used as a currency between followers or mutuals. It just becomes a poison. Your entire tumblr experience is going to be marred by the constant worry that you aren't good enough just based on a number.

Learn to appreciate the ones who do read. Allow your story to make you feel good because there it is! That thing you've been thinking about. It's written down. You brought it to life. That is far more valuable than a tumblr note.

If you've reached this point, thank you. Everything you're feeling is good, and okay, and we're gonna get through. Because even now? When it feels like things are more hostile than happy? You still have Ghost. And you still have everything.

[hyakinthou-naos]

The 7 Pillars of Hyakinthou Naos

These seven pillars* act as the core beliefs and values of The Temple of Hyacinthus. These pillars were created in the modern age, not antiquity, and therefore do not reflect upon the beliefs of all Hellenic Polytheists.

*disclaimer at the bottom of the post

Pillar 1: Xenia [ ΞENIA ] - Hospitality

Often translated as 'guest-friendship' or 'ritualized friendship' - Xenia was a core tenant of Hellenic Greek life and Hellenic Greek society.

"Historically, hospitality towards foreigners and guests (Hellenes not of your polis) was understood as a moral obligation, as well as a political imperative." - Wikipedia

As a Pillar of our temple, Xenia means being hospital and inclusive to individuals from all walks of life and lived experiences. Kindness and respect should be shown to all strangers you encounter - and hospitality should be extended towards them (when it is safe to do so).

Pillar 2: Eusebia [EYΣEBIA] - Piety & Worship

Eusebia is a term used to encapsulate our attitudes towards not only our beliefs and worship practices, but also our attitudes when referencing, honoring, or petitioning The Gods.​

"One demonstrates Eusebeia to the gods by performing the customary acts of respect (festivals, prayers, sacrifices, public devotions)" - Wikipedia

As a Pillar of our temple, Eusebia means showing respect towards Hellenic Polytheism, Hellenic worship practices, and The Gods. This respect also entails honoring The Gods with worship through prayer and ritual.

Pillar 3: Sophrosyne [ ΣΩΦΡΟΣYΝΗ ] - Moderation

Sophrosyne was a highly valued and praised virtue in the Hellenic Greek world, and was often used as the opposite of hubris. Which was, as it is today, regarded as an undesirable character trait.

"Sophrosyne is […] excellence of character and soundness of mind, which when combined in one well-balanced individual leads to other qualities, such as temperance, moderation, prudence, purity, decorum, and self-control." - Wikipedia

As a Pillar of our temple, Sophrosyne means to not take more than you need. It is a Pillar that reminds us to avoid greed and selfishness, as well as to not allow ourselves to over-indulge to the point of harming ourselves or others.

Pillar 4: Dikaiosyne [ ΔIKAIOΣYNH ] - Justice

Diakaiosyne is a noun which roughly translates to "righteousness, justice" (Wikipedia). Dikaiosyne is also a Daemone (spirit) who was the personification of righteousness and justice, and was closely related to the Horae Dike.

​"O blessed Dikaiosyne, mankind's delight, the eternal friend of conduct just and right: abundant, venerable, honoured maid, to judgements pure dispensing constant aid" - Theoi.com

​​As a Pillar of our temple, Dikaiosyne is closely tied to Social Justice and Progressive ideals. In this Temple, we believe that being an active ally towards disenfranchised and minoritized groups should not only happen beside our religious practices, but is essential to them.

Pillar 5: Sophia [ ΣOΦIA ] - Wisdom

Originally meaning "cleverness" or "skillfulness", in Ancient Greece Sophia would come to be a word that referenced wisdom and intelligence. It also became closely associated with "philosophía" (love of wisdom) which was a term often used by Plato.

"By the Roman Empire, it became common to depict the cardinal virtues [...] as female allegories. Thus, in the Library of Celsus in Ephesus [...] there are four statues of female allegories, depicting wisdom (Sophia) [...]" - Wikipedia

As a Pillar of our temple, Sophia embodies the value of truth, exploration, research, and wisdom. This is not about intelligence, or being able-minded, but instead is about the virtue and value of gaining understanding and knowledge.

Pillar 6: Hekousion [ ΕΚΟΥΣΙΟΝ ] - Free Will

A term that may be less familiar to the wider Hellenic Polytheistic community, Hekousion is a word meaning "voluntary" or "acting of on'es own free will". For it's use in our Temple, Hekousion is meant to be similar to/synonymous with "to eph' hemin" [ EΦ HMIN ]

"Greek philosophy had no precise term for 'free will' as did Latin […]. The discussion was in terms of responsibility, what 'depends on us' (in Greek EΦ HMIN)." - Wikipedia

As a Pillar in our Temple, Hekousion is meant to embody the non-compulsory and non-dogmatic nature of our worship. Worship should always be an act of consent, where one chooses to welcome The Gods into their life.​

Pillar 7: Kharis [ XAPIΣ ] - Divine Grace

Kharis translates to English in a variety of ways including "beauty, elegance, charm, grace", "grace, favor, goodwill", and "the grace or favor of the Gods" a voluntary act of goodwill" (Wikipedia).

"Kharis is the reciprocal relationship which sustains divine and human interactions, characterized by a flowing exchange of favor between the Theoi and worshipper." - @errostheandeirene

As a Pillar in our Temple, Kharis is the basis of our relationship with The Gods. This ancient practice of reciprocity is to be upheld by all who honor The Gods, as it is the foundation of our faith.

*Our Temple and our Pillars have no association with with Timothy Jay Alexander (the creator of The Seven Pillars of Hellenismos, who is homophobic and has other allegations of problematic behavior surrounding him). While some inspiration was taken from Alexander's work, we also took inspiration from other sources (as the concept of moral pillars is not unique to Timothy Jay Alexander). Our Temple proudly supports, and has signed, the Xenia Declaration; we hold diversity and inclusivity at paramount importance in our temple. Additionally, the number 7 was chosen to honor our Temple's Patron, Lord Apollo, and is not meant as a recreation of Alexander's work.