#but its just one guy trying to add easter eggs only this guy will enjoy

[i-spilled-my-soup]

asklepios au setting is so historically inaccurate its like "imagine ancient greece but every single recorded poem and hymn is alive and known at the same time by everyone and also joseph lister is there"

[ntls-24722]

half a sketch dump bc I've had these on the backburner for like... a week at this point 💀

The holy trinity. What I was trying to play with was Rinkalla having a weirder beard - the original concept for her hairstyle was that she's always wanting to do stuff with it. What I thought would be fun is if she had one of those giant, detailed, decorated beards you see in a lot of mesopotamian art. That and it'd make sense for the time period that homo mousike's in.

Solidifying Bugs + the lionflea redesign where I bit the bullet and went straight up dromaeosaur.

Bugs are 8 legged "mollusks" rather than being fully hardshelled, and due to not having a full carapace weighing them down, bugs got huuuuuuge, from being as small as our insects to being as big as elephants. They're pretty much nautiluses that got up on land and evolved to walk on their tentacles with concentric muscles rimming their muscle groups to add support, and they retained their shells as a beetle-like carapace on their backs. Wings are extremely common just like they are in our insects, coming from a derived antennae - The edges of wings are covered in the chemosensory hairs that allow them to smell and taste, and bug ear canals are at the wing-armpits, allowing them to create an external ear when their wings fold up around them.

The ancestors of lionfleas are these occasionally bipedal, beetle-mantis-ospreys that evolved their back limbs to become tails. Lionfleas began to lose more of their limbs as they became more and more bipedal, and during their "ground owl" period they doubled up on the chemosensing hairs both to smell better, but to muffle their flight, just like how owl feathers are fuzzy at the edges, too! Lionfleas can fly, but not for very long, but wings make them stupid scary jumpers.

Speaking of these osprey-beetle things, here's the development of another member of their clade...

Here's this post. I included this whole page because I find it so funny that you can literally SEE the progression happen. I even wrote out "holy shit" when it clicked bc i was losing my mind.

Anyways, the first half is the hypothetical birdguy-DJMM fanchild and the bottom of this page, along with this next picture, is the djmm alien I've been looking for.

Finally, I figured out a design that made a chin and nose necessary, and made the teeth-plates possible. It's only a bonus this guy turned out to be a cutie patootie.

It's a parrot! It's a squid parrot! It came from the same ancestral beetle that the beetle-osprey did, and it evolved wiggly teeth for dexterity and facial expressions. There's a GIANT socket where its teeth sit in, where it can be pulled up into the DJMM "teeth-plate" position, and down into an awful hooked beak position for tearing into prey. Originally it was a modest joint like it is in parrots to better hold things and pull in prey, but it got exaggerated to the point the two hooks can sit vertically just for the sake of seeming demure to other squid-parrots (and to exaggerate when they push their teeth out when they want to look scary).

Their skulls are actually super narrow and only comprise of their jaw, and can actually be pushed out of their face like a goblin shark! Deeply awful! Demonic little thing! however they're very cute. I dont think I'll make these ones sapient, I like them more as fun little animals (and an easter egg DJMM in the, yknow, DJMM alien setting)

Dirt skeleton!!! dirt skeleton yayyy dirt skeleton!!!!! I put these two seperately because I didn't want these two to be cropped. these are so nice doodles.

The dirt skeleton is completely devoid of romantic or sexual desire but he still enjoys being kissed by Comet because he sees it as her bonding with him and he is quite attached to her as well. He fundamentally doesn't understand romantic attraction and doesn't get it, but he does get that there's a bit of social weight to being kissed that he's fine with recieving.

Second doodle is him being stuck in the same position for 5 years to allow his bone to heal. The times the dirt skeleton has fractured bone above ground, his crying eventually becomes this constant, irritable frequency that pretty much gets everything to evacuate within its mile-wide earshot, which is quite convenient. People who get near his site of healing literally get annoyed by this unhearable, yet deeply uncomfortable frequency playing and leave. During this, he also stops percieving the world, blinding and deafening himself, as percieving the world as he experiences the worst pain he can feel becomes overstimulating.

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[quiet-tech]

I saw the FNAF movie and didn't like it very much

I'm trying to put this old blog to use by putting down my thoughts on various media. Usually I would just send this to discord servers of my friends but now it's the universe's problem.

Of course, since now is the time that I've finally built the resolve to do this, the first thing I have to talk about is the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. Let me tell you, this was not what I expected to be talking about in 2023, but here we are.

To establish my credentials a little, I've been following the series basically since its inception, through lore/easter-egg hunting videos, as many youtube playthroughs as I could get my hands on, and of course, Matthew Patrick. By the time Pizzeria Simulator (that's FNAF 6 for those uninitiated) rolled around, I was thoroughly impressed by the overall quality of storytelling of the series, and was glad to see it reach a natural conclusion. I chose to ignore the existence of the books, spin-offs, remakes, and further sequels from Steel Wool; I had taken all I wanted from the series, and was ready to move on.

Imagine my surprise when the long-rumored movie, which I was almost sure had been canned in around 2018, was finally given a release date for 2023, 9 years after the series' debut and 6 years after I had moved on from my engagement with it. Given its rough production history (and "rough" feels like an understatement), I was only cautiously optimistic. Sure, this was a series I had at one point enjoyed, and which I thought had a genuinely compelling story to tell, but a movie this far past the expiration date for its hype seemed strange, especially as the franchise moved into new territory with Steel Wool's Security Breach.

Then, of course, the trailers. Listen, I love practical effects any day of the week, and the team's commitment to bringing the iconic animatronics to life was admirable. But, let's just say that the games spent so much effort hiding these things from you for a reason.

And, I think that's where we should start discussion of the film itself, so spoilers ahead: what does it bring to the table? After 9 years of sitting with the imagery and storytelling of FNAF, what has this movie decided to add, to embellish, to show in new lights, or to show in more gruesome, vivid detail than ever before? What does its expensive, high quality production bring to the table that the shoestring-budget games were never able to?

The answer is: basically nothing. The animatronics are just as stiff and lifeless as their jpegs in the games, the location is rendered beautifully but provides only what we already knew was there, and the acting is about on par with Scott Cawthon's own performances as the phone guy.

So, its essentially like playing that classic game all over again. What's the problem, then? The problem is that the games had their excuses: their budget, the one-man development team, and the limitations of their engine, things which the movie should've been able to avoid. But even more so than that, the games had other things to fall back on: atmosphere, effective tension-building, deep and engaging mysteries, and the innate heightening of fear that comes from being put into the situation yourself as a player. In each of these departments, the things which truly put FNAF on the map, the movie fails completely.

Now, some may complain about my wording here. "The animatronics are supposed to be a little goofy! They're not always supposed to be scary, otherwise they wouldn't really be good children's mascots!" And to that, fair point. There are moments in this film which truly highlight this aspect of the animatronic characters, where I actually bought into the idea that these were fun, engaging children's entertainers, and this is something the games never truly established. However, its when the movie flips that switch, when it tries to move into the actual horror, that it falls apart.

Like I mentioned, the practical props, as beautifully crafted as they are, simply are not filmed properly. Nothing in this movie even tries to turn the goofy cartoon character robots into something more sinister visually; no tricks of lighting or camera placement ever effectively communicate the horror of these massive death machines, and the cardboard acting of our main protagonist certainly doesn't help. When moving onscreen, they operate exclusively at a snail's pace; it's difficult to imagine them chasing a security guard down, let alone killing them once they caught up. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to imagine it; the movie shows a character moving at speed exactly once, and through so many flickering lights it's impossible to tell what exactly is happening. This is a pretty consistent aspect of the film: deaths happen, but never onscreen, and the more gruesome and spine-tingling elements of the narrative like unsolved murders, a serial killer on the loose, mutilated corpses, the actual crushing power of these giant animatronics, and even what they do with their victims, are merely alluded to. The phone call audio and "game over" screen from the first game does more to establish the actual threat of Freddy and the gang than any moment of this entire film, and these characters take up a substantial portion of the screen time. There were moments watching the characters "walk" menacingly across the screen where I swear it looked like oversized toys being moved up and down by a toddler's hand offscreen. And, the only attempt to make the robots appear more "evil" by *checks notes* giving them "angry eyebrows" falls completely flat.

The one success this movie manages (again, spoilers,) is Matthew Lillard as the main antagonist. By far the most competent performance, and the actual scariest costuming and character acting in the film (which unfortunately isn't saying much), the movie of course relegates him to about 4 minutes of total screen time, and only at the very beginning and very end of the film. For a shockingly long portion of the runtime, the writing fails to clearly establish the existence of a serial murderer to be afraid of, only for one character to exposit his misdeeds and terrible power to our hero about 10 minutes before he gets his comeuppance. And that moment is well executed; that is, if you already know the story of Five Nights at Freddy's, because the movie certainly doesn't have time to build him up for his knock-down. While it makes sense to focus more on the threat posed by the animatronics in your movie about murderous animatronics, it feels almost like a waste to include Lillard's character at all, only for him to reveal his evil plans (which appear to boil down to "I like killing people" unless again, you already have the context of the game series) before dying in the same scene.

To put it all as simply as I can: this movie is exactly what you are afraid it is: a mess created by talented people with good intentions, but a mess nonetheless, hung by its own overambition and commitment to an aesthetic that just isn't scary. To be honest, it isn't even the kind of mess worth studying; it's failures are obvious and the lessons it teaches are trivial. I walked away from the theater feeling disappointment, and not much else, which is the worst kind of condemnation I can provide.

If you are a fan of this franchise, or you yourself enjoy this film, all the more power to you. I only ask that you remember that things can be better. And if you are planning to see this film; don't. Just redownload the game, it's less than half a gigabyte.

Thanks for reading this far; feel free to let me know your own thoughts if you've got any. I'll try to explain anything I haven't already.

[agentnico]

Evil Dead Rise (2023) Review

This film may just feature one of the greatest movie title cards in modern day horror. That shot on the lake with the title in the background.... *chef’s kiss*

Plot: A reunion between two estranged sisters gets cut short by the rise of flesh-possessing demons, thrusting them into a primal battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.

This movie is insane!! This is very much not the cheese-fest of Sam Raimi’s original trilogy, for as much as I enjoy seeing Bruce Campbell tear down demons using a shotgun he calls “The Boomstick”, those movies haven’t aged too well and now come off more so as campy horror parodies. Even the producers of those films having realised this made the show Ash vs Evil Dead in 2015 that fully leaned into the silliness and humour. However with the 2013 reboot and now Evil Dead Rise, this franchise is constantly trying to reinvent itself by appealing more to younger audiences, in this case side-lining the comedy in favour of a full blown shocking gore-fest. There’s so much blood in this movie - gosh golly! An abundance of gruesome imagery and horrifying kills - this is an Evil Dead that truly embraces its title.

Look, I don’t really get scared by horror movies. Whether featuring elements of the supernatural or based on real life, for some reason knowing that its all on a screen makes me completely unphased by it all. Bet I’d do terrible if The Ring was a reality. I’d just keep staring at that creepy lady with the long hair as it crawls out of the screen and kills me, and I’d just let it happen. But in the cinema screening I was at I could tell the audience was absolutely terrified of Evil Dead Rise. I could hear audible gasps throughout, and my dear fiancée next to me was hiding her face behind her hands for most of the movie in fear. So yes, pretty sure most people would find this to be a scary film. I did not, however the levels of gory massacre were truly shocking and in your face, and certain sequences were really uncomfortable. For example a certain moment involving a character swallowing glass and then seeing the glass press against their neck skin from the inside - eww! Yep, definitely a horror film.

There’s plenty of Easter Eggs and references for diehard fans of the franchise, such as the use of the Book of the Dead, or the chainsaw coming into the action, or the classic Sam Raimi shaky cam technique representing the evil spirit flying in for its attack. But director Lee Cronin uses these call-backs to only add to his very distinct horror directing style. I mean, this guy knows how to effectively build tension and suspense from the camerawork to the shot angles and special effects. This movie is so good at building up that feeling of anxiety and uncertainty, and then allowing it all to climax with blood, blood and even more blood. 6,500 litres of fake blood was apparently used during the making of this film. That a heck of a lot of blood.

Character wise is where the movie may falter a bit. In the beginning we are introduced to this family, and they’re all just sitting about and socialising and we basically learn one fun fact about each of them. One of them is very into music, the other goes on protests a lot. And these fun facts become their one each main characteristic. As such I didn’t really care for any of them, which I guess is okay as I did come to this movie after all for some frights and gore, not for a serious deep character study. The one stand out though is Alyssa Sutherland as the possessed mum. She was superb as this vile horrible ungodly being who would throw about insults knowing exactly how to hurt each of her family members, as well as providing a very physical performance, and one that was beyond effective. Sutherland - you’re one creepy looking lady!

I really enjoyed Evil Dead Rise. It does exactly what a horror movie should do - keep you on the edge of your seat, and shock you with its sheer rated R insanity. I also appreciate this franchise fully embracing its more darker sensitivities instead of the comedic, as it provided a very thrilling cinematic experience. That is if it weren’t for half of the theatre audience in my screening forgetting how to mute a smartphone!! Now that was the real madness!

Overall score: 7/10

[allywritesforfun]

How you and MCYT would survive a zombie apocalypse

before we get started this is more of a headcanon for myself. I am planning on using this to write an interconnected oneshot story...if that makes sense? basically its an irl zombie apocalypse au with each character and their reader having their own story but all of the stories connect in some way. it won't be out for a while considering I have to write at least 2 one shots for each character and then once all of those are connected, add Easter eggs of who they connect with and that might lead to more parts. so its gonna be a while but its way easier to write with a headcanon and it is headcanon day so... enjoy!

regular masterlist

headcanon masterlist

dream: 

dream is definitely the fighter

anyone he sees, he has to kill

but you are not a fighter 

you try to think about your situation and come up with a plan before resorting to violence

dream knows he can handle the zombies well, but the people are a different story

he is more scared of the people than is the zombies

you two survive by having one or two close allies and killing everyone else 

sapnap:

sapnap doesn't go to the extreme to survive

he cares more about protecting you

is 100% willing to throw himself in a heard of zombies to protect you

sapnap has seen the movies- he knew this wasn't going to be a week thing, it was way longer

you two spent most of your time getting resources that people wouldnt have thought that needed to survive

you are pretty crafty yourself and managed to kill some animals to make some protection from their skin and blanket from their fur

you two hate seeing people die so you only kill if there is something that they have that you need

george:

george and you are very reliant on each other to survive

“two minds are better than one”

neither of you can handle fighting so you already know you have to team up with someone 

you stick with that person til the end, willing to sabotage anyone that comes in your way

basically become the bitches of your allies, you do anything that they say because you feel that you have a better chance of surviving with the,

it works

wilbur:

wilbur has openly said that he doesn't take himself very seriously...

...in this case he doesn't take his life seriously either

both of you have come to the conclusion that you are most likely to die no matter what

why waste all that energy on trying to survive?

you two brought all that you could into the basement of your house

you were worried that the one way exit trapped you in but wilbur was more worried about bombings and being seen

wilbur was actually kinda having fun

I mean, it was an interesting way to die and you two played a bunch of games

honestly the cutest lovers, you two tried to do everything that you ever wanted to do as fast as possible

technoblade:

techno has been preparing for something like this for a while

you did not know about this

techno was one of the first to hear about the outbreak

before people started turning into zombies, he has already taken you to his hideout in mountains

you two were the loners

trust no one, absolutely no one

snipped off every person that you saw

better they die from a bullet than getting turned into one

you on the other hand carried on with life pretty normally

techno had built this shelter to last a life time

you basically became an old time housewife

tommy:

you and tommy were one of the youngest survivors 

you two honestly had no clue how to survive

you guys decided on the trickster role

getting absolutely everyone that you saw fucked over

wether that be setting a trap to gain their resources or cutting down a tree they were hiding in

your ultimate goal was to mess with everyone and mentally torture them

you were skeptical in the beginning, but it proved to be a good strategy

quackity:

you two were the pitiest survivors 

used multiple allusions and tricks into getting people to trust you

backstabbed everyone that you saw

you did not struggle for a single resource

just using the soft side of people was enough to get you to survive 

eret:

you two were the helpers

helped everyone and anyone that you saw

you two proved to trust worthy to tons of people and that's how you ended up with the resources that you did

you two became pretty popular and ended up becoming some sort of business

had a bunch of medicine to give people

you were in training to become an ER nurse before the outbreak

you taught eret everything that you knew for that you could save everyone

it became the worlds best interests to keep you alive

karl:

you two planned on not killing a single soul

you two strongly believed that if everyone kept their composer and didn't turn against each other, than the world could band together and stop the outbreak without anyone dying

you two didn't want to steal from anyone, so you looked for abandon houses to take from

you knew that you could outrun a zombie but were scared of people

did your best to not meet a single person

that all changed when karl started making posts about how the world needs to come together and help

became some sort of organization and created a great community where everyone trusted people 

kinda reflected a form of socialism

badboyhalo:

this man has the weapons

he started collecting when we was younger but never planned on hurting anyone

guess those came in handy

bad and you promised to keep the weapons and not give them to a single soul

you two already held so much power but what you had

made it your mission to protect people from afar by using your weapons to kill zombies that were protecting others

[therachelperspective]

FILM | Black Widow [2021, dir. Cate Shortland]

I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the character of Black Widow. She was the only female hero – at least in the early days of the MCU’s Avengers films – amongst a sea of men. She kicked ass without super or godly powers, she had a mysterious past before her days with S.H.I.E.L.D. There were a plethora of details that made her interesting. So the fact that it took so long for her receive her own film is blasphemous to begin with. Through the media’s hype before the film’s official release, and the claims made about Black Widow’s place in the MCU, I believe my expectations going into viewing the film were more than they should have been, and that plays a big part in why I am less than pleased with the final result.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still incredibly glad that Black Widow received her own film because you’re damn straight she deserves it, but if you’re going to declare that it will be explaining Budapest, explaining the Red Room and the creation of the Widows, explaining more of Natasha’s past (and if it was not declared as such, it’s still what we as viewers would have wanted after all this time)... Needless to say, I would have preferred an actual origins film instead of whatever this was. It’s placement as a little blip between Civil War and Infinity War, as a “What was Nat up to?” sort of thing, felt ill-placed in the MCU timeline, especially since an epilogue scene puts her amidst the period of Infinity War (as shown with her short blonde hair), and the after-credits scene jumps even further forward in time to post-Endgame. Sure, there were scenes that took place in Budapest during Black Widow, but what happened there previously and any interaction with Clint before she became part of S.H.I.E.L.D. was only briefly (and I mean VERY BRIEFLY) mentioned in a short passing scene. The Red Room and how Natasha became a Widow, still only touched on in mere moments during an opening sequence, nothing more than what we’ve seen in previous Avengers films (i.e. Age of Ultron’s flashback scenes). But her time as part of the KGB? Any interaction with the Winter Soldier? Completely absent. Black Widow, unfortunately, failed in my perspective to do anything other than bring her back together with her old “family” and then, with them, merely going through a bunch of a big budget fight/escape scenes with the bad guys. When I then also read that director Cate Shortland had no experience directing budget action films, I came to the realization that Black Widow did rely a great deal on fantastical visuals to distract from the limited story, and it didn’t even do it that well. Instead of a true glimpse into the past of a most tight-lipped Avenger, we get another bang-bang-shoot-’em-up action movie to add more red to her ledger. Every male Avenger got better story treatment, over a series of films no less, than Natasha in her one and probably only standalone tale. Long story short: sure, they gave Black Widow a film, but they still did her reaaaal dirty.

Despite its incredible shortcomings, I’m still trying hard to like it. I want to like it, and enjoy what I was given. The humor throughout the film, especially from David Harbor’s Alexei Shostakov (a.k.a. the very obvious comedic relief character), was entertaining; Rachel Weisz has not seemed to age at all and it was great to see her amongst the action as mother figure and badass scientist Melina Vostokoff. But we all know the true shining star of Black Widow other than Scarlett Johansson in her final role as Natasha... was that of Florence Pugh as “baby sister” Yelena Belova. Although I was admittedly fond of Florence before seeing Black Widow, she was quite outstanding as Yelena and her chemistry with Scarlett undeniable; I really did like her in this role. It’s really no surprise that they will be/are making way for her and her character to become a bigger part of future MCU entertainment. I’m not complaining there. AND... although I was hoping for more, I also cannot complain about any “easter eggs” or commentary from Black Widow that connect it to the other films, because that’s truthfully my favorite part of the MCU as a whole – the way that everything is so intricately connected. I can’t help but smile when they make references spanning 13+ years; their dedication to that is really what makes them successful.

Was I disappointed? Yes. I won’t lie. Almost every good scene was shown in the trailers (the film itself just providing more context), and I think there was only one twist I didn’t see coming. But so much, even the details from the film itself, were poorly explained, if explained at all. I shouldn’t have had to research or come across information when reading various items on the internet to clarify as many details that I did. I shouldn’t have had to know information from the comics (which I have not read) to fill in some of the blanks. The MCU even claimed that you would not have to watch their shows in order to understand the films, when in actuality the final end-credit scene makes a helluva lot more sense if you had. Granted, I would watch the shows regardless, I just would have liked to know that I should have watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and/or Loki first instead of, say, Googling who the heck Valentina Allegra de Fontaine is.

Black Widow, on IMDb alone – I don’t dare venture further out into the Internet for this one – is flooded with poor reviews, and it really does pain me the amount of truth contained in the few I skimmed. Florence Pugh carried the film; Natasha was a sidekick in her own movie; Taskmaster (who I don’t know enough to say anything about here) was ruined... but the thing that bothers me most, as one reviewer stated perfectly, is that this is “the first MCU film I’ve hated, and I’m shook.”

I wouldn’t go all the way to “hate” per se, as I'll always love Marvel and the cinematic universe it has built, but... Me too, buddy. Me too.

[kathyrealmstales]

NEW SMP THEORY! (I cracked the plot!)

Hello! I came up with a new theory, but this time I did some real work and I didn't just throw out random ideas. Crazy, right?

But seriously, I think I have a good theory for today.

Disclaimers: to begin with, spoilers for Dream SMP and Kingdom Heart. (Strange to see that game in a warning for the SMP, huh? Well, we will get to that soon.)

Also, just remember this is roleplay, all the actors are friends. If I see you trash-talking the actors you're being blocked. I don’t like hate.

I also wish to thank my sister for her assistance. I don't know much about the Kingdom Heart fandom except with what the Wiki tells me by watching my sister play it, so my sister had to suffer while I tried to find connections in a block game roleplay. Thank you so much, my loving sister.

Under this line is the theory! Hope you enjoy it!

------------------------------------THE START--------------------------

If you are familiar with the tales of the SMP, then you might already know a common theory.

The theory is that the TOTSMP area, "The In-between," is based on Castle Oblivion from Kingdom Heart. It looks exactly like the interior of the castle in the game, as well as the idea of losing memories. It's a cool easter egg.

However, my theory doesn't stop there, because I began to see more connections, making me believe that maybe the latest plot of the SMP is following a bit of Kingdom Heart plot.

Let me try to break it down into evidence and explanations.

In the latest episode of TOTSMP, Karl travels to this new world, escaping the "In-between" and going to this place called “The Other Side.” A strange name, but what is even stranger is that I felt I had already seen the castle before, so of course I did some research.

For starters, I noticed the In-between warned Karl that if he left, he would lose all of his memories, kind of like in Kingdom Heart when Sora went to that sleep state, he lost his memories. I thought there had to be a connection to the Kingdom Heart and this new world Karl was in now since it seemed to be following a pattern.

I tried to do more research by using Wiki and looking up other castles in the game that it could be. I came up with a few ideas, but none of them stuck. It just made no sense, so I went to the only person I know who knows Kingdom Heart more than me, my sister.

My sister and I love playing these games together, but while I'm just trying to figure how the game works (because of my love for coding), my sister listens to the plot and knows way more than I. Sure, we haven't finished all the games, but she knows enough to help me. So we got on the phone to figure out how this new world was connected, and when I left that call, I saw the Dream SMP in a whole new light.

- The Other Side evidence

We have an idea of what the Other Side looks like but that’s it. My sister believes it resembles the Hollow Bastion, which is intriguing. She claims it is linked to Castle Oblivion, but what makes it more interesting is that she said this place is also usually where the Kingdom Heart stories end. This got my attention since Dream hinted that the story’s end might be approaching soon. (I hope it's not-)

I then thought we had a good idea for the theory, a rather small one about the TOTSMP but a good one. So still wanting to talk to her, I told her why I was asking for her ideas, and then I explained the Dream SMP plot to her. The more we talked about the plot, though, the more my sister and I noticed parallels between the stories.

-

Eggpire evidence

To begin, we discussed the Egg People. I jokingly said, "Oh, does Kingdom Heart have mind-controlled people?" She replied, "if you count the heartless." Which shocked me because it makes the Egg People’s ability to pick who is controlled or not make so much sense!

You see, the Heartless are people without a heart (Hearts are similar to people's souls in the game, which is strange. But oh well). The heartless follow the rules of the Darkness. I'm not sure whom or what controls the Darkness, but I do know they are subjected to some sort of mind control or animal instinct. The most important aspect to consider is how they multiply. They seek out characters from whom they can steal hearts of so they can turn back into normal people. However, they need their own heart, not just a random one, so this method is ineffective and just makes more heartless.

Because of this information, I came up with a theory that may be the reason why the egg only works on certain people. I think it is the same reason why only some turn heartless. People with weak souls are usually turned, while people with more light in their souls are typically more difficult to turn to a heartless, implying that while Puffy and Sam had weak souls at the time, they are becoming stronger, making it more difficult for "darkness" or the egg to mind control them.

Also, this would explain why Tommy can't be mind-controlled at all; he is mostly made of light, and everyone sees him as the hero. It would just make sense; it’s really hard to control him.

-

Pandora’s box evidence

There seems to be a correlation with the prison. This one is probably my favorite because it makes the most sense to me.

Most theories believe the prison is similar to Pandora's Box, owing to the prison's name. However, Kingdom Heart had its own Pandora's Box, and no, I'm not referring to the one in Hercules' world. I'm talking about the box that was told to never be opened.

I don't know everything about Kingdom Heart, therefore, I can't go into great detail about this box like I did with the Heartless theory, but basically, the main dude who started the plot of Kingdom Heart had a bunch of apprentices, and he left them with a box that they were never supposed to open. Of course, the bad guys got the box and opened it, only to discover that it contained some time-traveling stuff, which caused some of the apprentices and The Keyblade of all Keybladeds to appear.

If we take that information and put it in place with Dream SMP characters, it looks like where the plot might be going. Dream is the main bad guy who opens the box with whatever he has. What emerges is Wilbur Soot, a man from the past, he takes the place of the apprentices and Tommy is the Keyblade of Keyblades.

What makes me believe Tommy is the Keyblade? I mean, It could be someone else, but the thing is, Dream keeps referring to Tommy as "the Key," and in Kingdom Heart, Sora is also referred to as "the Key." It's also possible that it could be Ranboo, since the key is made of both darkness and light, and Ranboo appears to look as if he is both, but this is all just speculation at this point.

Either way, I think we as a fandom were on the right track, thinking evil black boxes, just not Pandora’s box.

-

Organizations evidence

This is only tangentially related, but Kingdom Heart did have their group of evil bad guys whom, based on what I saw in the cut scenes, didn’t care if you show up to meetings or not. (basing this off of all those empty chairs. Then again, those chairs were really high up, I would miss meetings too if I had to sit in those things.)

Another thing to note about this organization is that they disliked higher authority, but this one opposed them because they were all about good and needed the princess's light, whereas the anarchist syndicate in the SMP were more anti-government. Nonetheless, both are going after government officials.

(The organization also had code names that were their real names, but with an X in them and scrambled around. They weren't as cool as the Anarchists Syndicate’s nicknames, but there was a connection.)

-

Now we'll look at the improbable evidence, as well as thoughts that might not make much sense.

-

Bad guys with correlations

The antagonist in Kingdom Heart had a bunch of copies of himself, procured with the help of time travel. I find this amusing, especially given that we know there are multiple Dreams in canon, including Dream, DreamXD, Mexican Dream, Girl Dream, and (possibly) Drista. It's almost as if he's the main antagonist, especially when considering the-- Norted thing, (that's what my sister called it. I'm not sure about the name, so we'll go with Norted Thing for now) The point is, he can control some people if they are willing, but they can rebel if they have strong hearts (again, I believe this is the case). This reminds me of Ranboo and his enderwalking state in which he hears Dream’s voice in his head. Again, just a hunch.

-

The plot is the same

This is the last piece of evidence I have, and it is the main fact from which I derived all of the connections. After my sister and I discussed the possibility of it being linked, I jokingly said during our call, "There are so many connections between the latest plot of the SMP and Kingdom Heart, The only difference I feel like they have is that the Dream SMP is all about how there is no bad or good, just greyscale, while Kingdom Heart is about dark vs light."

My sister responded, "It's the same thing. Most people believe it is dark vs. light, but the more you play the games, the more you realize it isn't. The majority of the characters begin as good or bad and gradually reveal their true selves. Nobody in the story is completely light or dark."

This shocked me because I always thought Kingdom Heart was about bad versus good. So now we've matched the main ideas as well!

Ohhh boy!

-

This is all I have for now. If you have anything to add, please send it to me as a comment or a submission, or simply make your own post and let me know so I can see it! (I know as I wrote this I found more connections, but I’m saving them for later.)

But, in any case, I believe you can see the idea--Dream SMP has some connections to the Kingdom Heart plot, assuming my theory is correct. It wouldn't be the first time. Dream SMP has loosely copied the Broadway show, Hamilton during the L'manburg war, and I know the writers like Disney at least for right now, so it makes sense.

I'm also going to leave you with this: Our Fandoms are the same, We get information that makes no sense and we have no idea where it fits in the puzzles, and we know (sometimes) the writers don't know either, so we just have to accept and enjoy it.

THAT IS ALL! GOOD DAY!

[jlf23tumble]

Agree so much with your post about the teams and fan engagement ! And love the way you articulated all of that. Although now I definitely am interested in knowing what your notes about the specificity of each team/artist cause I feel like they'd be fascinating to read. Hope you'll post them some day, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ! 😊

Awwww, that’s very kind! It’s definitely head canon city, I litcherally have ZERO clue what goes on behind the scenes (and I can’t stress this enough, none of us do), so this’ll look hilariously dated when we find out that blah woof was true all along, lmao (me @ myself, thinking of some random Grimshaw interviews from last fall, oh, bless). Let’s dig in!!

For those of you who just stumbled upon this post, it’s related to the one I made last night about how I think the management teams of all these men (mid-20s means = you’re a man, not a boy) are not, in fact, sabotaging them. They negotiate a lot of tricky interconnected arrangements that none of us are privy, to, plus they’re at least trying to achieve the goals their clients are going for. And they’re doing it—the trick is these goals are highly individual and not 100% sensical (at least given our own view from the afternoon, Arctic Monkeys ref, holllllllah!!!).

In addition, these goals constantly shift, as does the music industry itself—I drive my own self loony when I lurk on blogs that are seemingly broadcasting from 2012, confused by why xx’s team is so “terrible” because they aren’t throwing good money after bad to get on a radio playlist, or why they haven’t announced yy “properly,” as if they’re being paid to worry about this level of shit (which fires me up on about five levels, deep breaths in, deep breaths out). I’m much nosier about the signals we’re getting when we hear them talk in their beautifully media-trained way about their musical interests, when we get some of that sweet, sweet fan service with a Gallagher or a Capaldi, when we get that heads up about who’s attending what concert, stuff like that. These signals don’t necessarily indicate future collaborations, but they DO indicate what kind of image these guys want to have, the kind of music they want the public to associate them with.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself…their personalities and goals at the moment are all so vastly different, and I truly do love seeing how their teams are workin’ it accordingly. Again, please @ god, don’t @ me…opinions, massively unpopular opinions, dead ahead!

* Zayn. My read on Zayn is that he enjoys the creative process, loves writing and singing, digs collabing with people, but he doesn’t seem to give two shits about the biz side (and why should he? that’s called living the dream at this particular point in his career). His website recently added “tour,” which EYEBALL EYEBALL, but he doesn’t seem to be all that interested in putting himself back out on stage or into radio/print/etc. anytime soon, and again, why should he? His numbers are HUGE without pushing himself through the anxiety-provoking churn he endured for four years, so there’s no real drive for him to do any promo if he doesn’t want to (see: the netflix-like binge dump of Icarus Falls, which could be “sabotage,” or it could just be, “fineeeeeeee, here’s some stuff for you, enjoy”). What other artist gifts his fans with gorgeous covers of such a wide variety of songs that indicate he’s more interested in sharing them than selling them. Accordingly, his fan interactions seem fairly pure and not all that promo-y: he has a keen interest in fanart, he’s done some fan pop-ups/listening parties that are pretty low-key and *seemingly* fan-focused, and recently (with zero anything to really promote), he’s been posing for cute pics and chatting with randos on the streets of NYC. I recently read that his mgmt team is no longer with him, but that sort of folds into my feeling that he’s not pursuing anything biz-wise, hence no need to jump through those particular hoops (I think he’s also struggled with a lot of demons, so yeah, why add one more). Could he be adrift? Maybe, but the next guy is the posterman for lack of focus….

* Liam. Honestly, I worry about Liam most of all. His post-1D career seems very much adrift, and I like to joke that he’s giving me that tell-all about the D one sentence at a time, but goddamn, are people listening? The struggles with alcohol, the lack of focus on every level, the reliance on his dad’s career advice (which more clearly reflects his dad’s financial class, background, and history than it does Liam’s), and the overall confusion about look, sound, and direction also flow back directly into his team. I get the feeling that they aren’t sure what to do because LIAM isn’t sure what to do or what he wants, so they follow in his wake. He’s agreeable to a fault, so seeing him at a meet-and-greet at an HMV in Birmingham last week felt like a step back into 2010 for no real reason, just like hearing that he was more or less coerced into full nude photoshoots for an underwear ad (the decisions to say yes to both of those—who’s steering this ship? If it’s Liam, he needs to tell the team his overall goal, so they can plot a course he and his fans can follow; if it’s the team, ditto). Like Niall, Liam’s actually pretty good at the SM game: lots of selfies, snapchat filters, outfits, gym service, twitter interactions. But generally speaking, his promo is confusing, and that’s probably because there isn’t much *to* promote at this point, other than a mix of collabs, clothing endorsements, spon con, horse farms, and an album that’s always on the horizon. This might be tied to the general post-1D jolt they all went through, like a plane coming off autopilot and into the hands of someone who’s just learning how to fly it. Zayn debuted at number one, so his bump wasn’t as harsh, but the others are slowly, steadily finding their footing after taking some time to find themselves and their sound, releasing songs/albums, performing (or in Louis’s case, going through unspeakable tragedy). Liam’s still adrift…and somewhat admittedly, which is kind of telling in its own way. Just know that my nervousness on his behalf ratchets up every time he feels the urge to assure us all that he’s happy.

* Niall. Truly the one following the original 1D template, right down to working with most of the same people but with more of the overall control in his hands instead of a faceless management squad. Of any of them, he seems the most ambitious, the most scientific about the sound he’s after and how he’s gonna get there. His promo is a mix of new and traditional—radio shows, talk shows, podcasts, special events, twitter interactions with fans, twitter interactions with entertaining celebrities—and it’s all hustle hustle hustle, build build build, as if he were a new ingenue instead of coming up hard on solo album number two. He’s explicit in his goals, which is refreshing, but it means he walks a weird line with fans: on one hand, he’s done with their bullshit, get ready to get rekt if you start commenting on his boring food seasoning or home décor. But on the other hand, he fully recognizes how much he needs them, which is why we get so many peeks into his “normal” life (yet zero percent of his actual personal life). It’s also probably why the blatant tweets of the last two days seem so jarring to me (I might be alone on this one, but I’m not a fan of directives in general, and asking me to call radio stations on behalf of a rich white man to become even richer just rubs me the wrong way, same with asking me to stream stuff to get you to number one…you’ve been there, buddy, how about you calm down and build some character at number 51). And speaking of calming down, it does fascinate me that both Niall and Louis namecheck Taylor Swift as someone who gets the whole fandom push/pull thing right, so watching them try to reverse-engineer her secrets is fun. Louis nails it (that hotspot treasure hunt: chef’s kiss), but Niall’s heavy-handed easter egg dump in NTMY, she would never!! I think Niall’s team needs to watch “Calm Down” about five more times before they try that again.

* Louis. I think Louis honestly has an AMAZING team in place, and they’re all clearly on his side, which makes for a refreshing change. Like Niall, he has publicly praised Taylor Swift for how she engages with her fans, but I think he’s missing a key point: she doesn’t let her fans dictate strategy, and I HOPE that’s the case for Louis, too. His old team *was* shit, so yeah, encouraging people to do fan projects to get the word out was a good idea, but turning that spigot off to let a good (paid) team step in and take over has been, uh, challenging. He’s dealt with more than his fair share of personal tragedy, but every time he gets some momentum going, it feels like something bts pushes him back off track, and he tends to keep it private, which only makes his hardest-core fans scream “sabotage.” Rightly so, he’s focusing on his personal life, and rightly so, his team is giving him the space to do that, even when it costs cash money and throws a lot of shit seriously for a loop. It makes my heart soar to see the potential of what his team can do/is doing, how much space he’s being allowed to process what he needs to process. Weirdly, that’s an unpopular opinion, and a lot of people want to indulge in an angst wank fest where Louis’s the victim of a terrible team that won’t DO anything (nevermind the fact that he’s probably ASKED them not to do anything), so they undertake a tremendous amount of performative unpaid labor that ends up being counterproductive on just about every front. Even worse, most of them can’t seem to process the fact that losing your mum is a blow, losing your SISTER is a blow, juggling other siblings or close friends handling some serious demons of their own in the aftermath of all of *that* is a blow, let alone handling your own personal coping mechanisms, nope, they want Louis to release release release, perform perform perform, c’mon, what’s holding him back, he *said* he wanted to release an album this year, there’s “no reason” for a delay, gotta be his shitty team, free him. It drives me ‘round the bend because it’s the same talk from late last year, you know, when we later found out that at least one family member was losing a fight with drug addiction. Louis’s fan engagement/promo is therefore hella fraught: he has to balance LouisTM on twitter (Mr. Donny, he’s hard, mate), his werk IG posts, and his constant edging because nobody can remember or trust that he’s got this, that multiple things are in play. But he also knows his fanbase, knows that it’s resistant to any kind of change, so I hope he pushes through and stays true to what he wants to do. I was really encouraged with his last promo round because he seems to have narrowed in on a something solid, he’s got a plan, and it’s not, “hey mr dj, put my record on,” it’s getting his fans to trust that he and his team know what the fuck they’re doing, and spoiler alert, it ain’t radio, but go ahead and keep pissing off djs by sending angry tweets their way. (Related: why is it so bad to avoid the radio when all of us admit that radio music is garbage? Is it because it’s more about you than him? Much to think about.)

* Harry. My very favorite head canon is that Harry is Jeff’s nightmare client: what was perfection at first because the Azoffs are old-school promo all the way (no SM, baby, gimme that sweet, sweet paper), and that dovetailed nicely with post-1D Harry, but it quickly veered into mulish teeth pulling. Low profile can quickly spin into no profile, and that really doesn’t work too well when you’re trying to sell sell sell, even if your brand is Harry StylesTM. HS1 and Dunkirk in their own separate ways worked VERY hard to push past the still-persistent way the general public views Harry as boybander Harry Styles, or more accurately, former boybander Harry Styles who dated Taylor Swift (if you venture out and ask someone who’s not a fan), but what I love about Harry is that much like Zayn, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered by all that. Sure, he’s ambitious, he wants to challenge himself and do things, but he’s no Niall Horan. He’s put in his time! If he gets a number one, then cool, but he’s not gonna chase it. And this is where Harry’s team really reflects his goals and energy: sure, they want him to do some promo (that “Do” tweet, the entire bit about the fan in Australia and Harry Lambert’s follow, goddddd, I loved it, petty Harry, resigned Jeff), but they clearly aren’t forcing him. He drops a song that makes a HUGE splash, and the follow-up is…liking some tweets and going to a John Mayer concert (not a John Mayer fan, so that wouldn’t be my first choice, but I respond to the zero fucks given about the whole thing). The music industry has changed a LOT in just two years, so it’s kind of cool to see team Harry pivoting a bit, seeing more SM interaction, the kindness generator, etc., but that said, the team takes their cues from him, and he clearly doesn’t want to do a whole promo circuit beyond persons a, b, and c, and magazine R, F, and A. Does it make sense to have Rob Sheffield write a profile about Stevie Nicks-blessed shroom-eater Harry Styles when his new song sounds like the Zarry combo of my dreams? NOPE, but that’s okay, Harry wanted to talk to Rob, so that’s what happened. The new song is more streaming friendly, and thank CHRIST, a lot less crusty white dude stuck in the ‘70s, so I can only hope that the rest of the album is thus, but we shall see! We’ll also see if Harry’s fan engagement shifts any further into the active zone…so far, it’s been “I’m gonna follow some larries, like these fun generator posts, check out a few dads” and staged photo ops with the same familiar faces, but I think he’s dealing with his own major bts issues as well (album delayed at least twice; that entire stalking situation). I still contend the album’s coming in the next few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see if/how any additional promo rolls out in this new world order post-gryles landscape, how many interviews he’ll do, but I like that there’s a strategy that seems less stodgy…kudos to the new SM team, at least!!

Oh man, that got really long! Hope you enjoyed, and YES, opinions opinions opinions, and they’ll be stupid in about three weeks’ time, thanks for coming to my already dated buzzfeed article

[glapplebloom]

You see so much negativity about this show, let’s do something positive.

Original Art used before was by AJthePPGfan

The Catalyst

So I was watching Shadow Streak’s review on Save the Date when I notice a comment being upset that the girls are being constantly saved. I said that its only noticeable because the original focused on more action and had more episodes. If you count, you would probably see the girls being saved around the same amount of time. So I did via a speadsheet. This article was going to focus mostly on this before, but then the next review “Can’t Buy Love” happened.

One of Shadow Streak’s biggest complaint is that he doesn’t like the fact a six year old is having romantic feelings when they shouldn’t. I posted that they did show Buttercup give the Professor “something” for his date with the disguised Sedusa. For most people its likely a breath mint but I bet for others its a little more adult. And not mentioned in the comment is when the original had the confirmed 6 year old Buttercup crushing on a guy and said young adult taking advantage of her feelings. Don’t worry, its more about taking over Townsville.

There are plenty of reasons to dislike the show (Donny for example) but I would like the dislike being because of your taste and proper reasons. So while I could sit here and debunk others reasons (at least the ones that can be debunked), I think it would be better to see something more positive. So here are 10 things I like in the Reboot that would have made the original much better.

1 - Buttercup and the Derbytantes

Its no secret Buttercup is my favorite Powerpuff. And looking at the reboot it seems like Buttercup is the favorite there as well since if episodes aren’t focused on her she is doing something to advance the story. And outside some minor changes (like her wanting to make cash being an extension from her Tooth Knocking Out Business from the original), she hasn’t seen significant changes. But a positive to her and the others to a lesser extent is that they have friends beyond one episode or each other.

All thee of them got Barry, Blossom has Jared Shapiro (who is hit and miss) and Bubbles had Donny (who is a constant miss). But I’m making this about the Derbytantes for two reasons: 1- they’re less awful than the two previously. 2- they show Buttercup having interest outside her sisters. She has a group of friends who gets her. Who accepts her even if she is a Math Genius. And who share in her kind of fun her sisters wouldn’t. It makes Buttercup more than just the Tough one of the group.

2 - Blossom

In the original, Blossom was the least interesting to me. She was basically just the leader with your typical “I’m the leader so you should listen to me” attitude when Buttercup wants to go in. You know how many episodes focused on Blossom in the original? Four: ice powers, her stealing clubs, her hair getting ruined and suddenly losing and gaining confidence. Great for action scenes but as a character it makes her really one note.

In the Reboot, they gave her more to do. With Jared it shows she has a crush and how she deals with it. Her ego gets more explored as she has to handle not being in the right or being as good as she thinks she is. And even outside the 12 episodes focused on her, she has a lot more interactions with her sisters that makes them seem like sisters. One of my favorite moments is how Blossom suddenly acts like Rambo when the Daisy Robot takes over the house. To me, Blossom is a much more interesting character in the Reboot than the Original.

3 - Bubbles

While the Reboot feels like it favors Buttercup, the Queen of the Powerpuffs is Bubbles. When it comes to episodes focused on her, she’s the most in both the Reboot and the Original. Even the final episode of the original was a Bubbles focused one. While the Reboot does make her more airheady than the original at times, there’s one addition they made that not only is a great addition in my book but also perfectly extends to her character: her being a programmer.

From the original we know two important things: she’s creative and she knows other languages. Coding is basically another language and you know programmers can do amazing things. The concept of Easter Eggs was born because a programmer wanted to add something and said thing turned out to be a brilliant addition to prove their program was stolen. This is a perfect fit for Bubbles to show that you can be smart in your own way than to just give this to Blossom because she’s the generic smart one.

4 - The Professor

Him being more like the dumb fathers in animation is a justified complaint about the show. I feel its because he became a butt monkey in the end of the original series (having his voice stolen with the blessing of the Girls, acting like a child when they could fly instead of using his buggy, danced pants) and they decided to play it up more here. But there are moments I feel this Professor is a better father than the original.

There are two episodes focused on the Professor learning about the subject his girls are interested in so he can enjoy it alongside them. There’s an episode of a creation he made for the sole purpose of making sure they can’t guilt trip him into allowing them to stay up all night. And my personal favorite, being so angry he single handedly drove down to Townhall as Blossom is mind controlled because she disobeyed her. Even to the point that he won’t even let the other girls out of the car despite being thrown around. It just shows a lot more love than the original.

5 - The Fashionistas

The strongest aspect of the original are the villains. They are arguably the best part of the original. But sadly besides Morbucks they don’t have a strong female villain that can be put on the same pedestal as the likes of Mojo Jojo and HIM. Sedusa is so one note she usually loses to other people besides the Powerpuff Girls. For the reboot, their new villains don’t have the same spark as the old with one exception: the Fashionistas.

Consisting of the Bikini Sisters, Bianca and Barbarus, these two have a clear theme, unique plans and great personalities that can bounce off each other or other characters. Like feel free to hate the Bridezilla episode but I really loved that Bianca’s reason to break up the marriage was because she felt she would be left alone since Barbarus was the Popular one, the Funny one and the Attractive one. Its a nice dynamic that I think would have been great for the original.

6 - Silico

Despite having the most questionable reason since the show does a bad job telling us things like time, Silico is a good take for a villain that hasn’t been done in the original. Instead of being created alongside them, being jealous of them, or just simply being evil, Silico is a villain because of their actions. Since they destroyed his friends, even by complete accident, he’s going to destroy them.

This also was their attempt at an ongoing storyline in a similar vein as Steven Universe or Gravity Falls: have episodes be episodic and self contained but have clues or moments that would lead up to a later episode. Granted, not the best of said attempts but it is an honest effort to try.

7 - Episodes

Its easy to point out Bad episodes and say they’re not as good as the original, but I think people underestimate those moments when the Reboot not only has a good episode but knocks it out of the park. I could highlight these good episodes and compare them to the original’s bad ones but that is not a fair assessment. But what I will do is highlight three episodes that I feel not only are the Reboot’s best episodes but also up there with the best of the original.

Home, Sweet Homesick: the episode where Blossom discovers that you shouldn’t grow up too fast and enjoy your time as a kid. Bubbles the Blue: you can feel sad and that’s okay. And finally the Octi-Father: the rage you see in Bubblevicious sharpened as a knife and even more dangerous. All without actually throwing a punch. That’s how you know you’re intimidating.

8 - More of HIM

One of the biggest flaws of the remake is the lack of using the other villains. Outside HIM, Morbucks and Mojo, the most the others get is an episode of the Amoeba Boys working for Silico and the Gangreen Gang hustling. And while I do enjoy Mojo and Morbucks in the Remake, I know others don’t. But one you have to agree got a major push in a good way is HIM. This series really shows him living up to his one line: “Why destroy when you can torture with tooth decay” The Reboot also explains somethings weird from the original.

Remember the White Lie monster? How he seemingly came from nowhere and just as fast suddenly gone? The Reboot has a Secret Swapper Monster who was defeated in the same way: confessing. But the major difference is we know the Secret Swapper came from HIM, explaining why it suddenly came to be. This series shows how he can be just as devious as the devil people think he is.

9 - Concepts

Its easy to remake something: just update the graphics and fix the problems here and there. But it is hit and miss when you add something to make it a reboot. We’ve seen hits in Ducktales Reboot and we’ve seen fails in both Thundercats reboots. But while some of the ideas the Reboot of Powerpuff Girls presented are misses, there are some good ideas.

Silico I mentioned above. A 4th Powerpuff Girl as a result of a previous attempt at creating the Perfect Little Girl not working out is another interesting concept. Mojo creating a Robot that can match the girls in ways the Rowdyruff Boys couldn’t. Morbucks possibly being turned good. These are very interesting concepts. The Reboot not making it work doesn’t mean these ideas couldn’t been more successful under better hands. 

Honorable Mention - Lego

Love Lego. Love Powerpuff Girls. Match made in Heaven. Just got to get Morbucks and Mojo.

10 - Inspiration

The one thing you have to give credit to the Reboot is that it inspired people to make stuff about it. Granted, a lot of it being stuff more in favor of the original but there are some great pieces out there about the old meeting the new. Some even highlighting how the Powerpuff Girls has changed over the years. 

You got new, younger fans being introduced to these girls and soon wanting more discovering the originals. You have old fans revisiting the originals to show others how much better these were.You got a reviewer in Shadow Streak looking into each episode of the reboot to give them a fair shot. And be honest, the Powerpuff Girls wouldn’t be discussed as much as it is today if it wasn’t for the reboot.

And that’s my list. I know its easy to dislike the Reboot, but I hope this list helps you understand why it has fans. And hopefully it’ll help you appreciate this when the Live Action Movie of the PPG comes...

[aion-rsa]

Tokusatsu Streaming Guide: Where to Watch Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and More

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Ten years ago a fan of Tokusatsu (Japanese special effects shows, mostly superheroes) could have never imagined the access we’d have to these programs today. Back then official releases of anything outside of the American adaptations, particularly Power Rangers, seemed like a far off dream. However in the past few years especially there’s been a slow trickle of Toku shows becoming available to stream in North America. 

In the last few months though that trickle became a waterfall as several new services have quickly become mainstays, finally allowing Toku fandom to finally enjoy their favorite shows legally. This also allows more casual fans a chance to experience these shows for the first time and that’s who this guide is mostly for. If you’re curious about the wider world of Tokusatsu and need a place to start, this guide should cover your bases for the many kinds of Toku series out there.

Just as a note, we are only discussing shows that are legally available. This also isn’t a comprehensive list. Many of the streaming services mentioned below have multiple Toku series available, we’re just picking a small sample. With that in mind, let’s dive into this ocean of Toku, shall we?

Kamen Rider (1971) 

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

The release that shocked and delighted Toku fans, the original series in the long running Kamen Rider franchise may be old but that doesn’t detract from its enjoyment. This is Toku in its purest form. Incredible fights, trippy special effects, bizarre monsters, and a strikingly bleak backstory for the main character.

Hongo Takeshi is kidnapped by the evil Shocker and transformed against his will into a cyborg. Worrying if his humanity is intact, Hongo still fights for justice as Kamen Rider. It may seem simplistic in our modern age of superheroes but there’s something enduringly appealing about Hongo’s quest to stop evil despite the wrongs that were inflicted on him. 

Plus, come on, you can’t beat those trumpets that come in for damn near every music number. Highly recommend if you’re down for old school heroics or just want to enjoy some trippy 70’s TV.

Zyuranger (1992)

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

Many people reading this are no doubt aware of Power Rangers, especially the original Mighty Morphin series. If you want to rock your world, you gotta check out the Super Sentai series Zyuranger. It’s as far from MMPR as you can imagine, with a team of dinosaur-evolved humans from 170 million years ago brought into the present day. 

Read more

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Power Rangers and How It Adapted From Super Sentai

By Shamus Kelley

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TokuSHOUTsu: Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and Super Sentai Coming to Streaming

By Shamus Kelley

The differences between it and MMPR will be the main draw for most and as you watch the series you’ll be impressed just how much the producers of Power Rangers were able to take this footage and remold it for America.

Ultraman Mebius 

Available on TOKU

You can’t do a list about Tokusatsu without giving love to one of the big three, Ultraman. While the franchise’s original series sadly isn’t streaming (but you’ll be able to soon), you can’t go wrong with the 40th anniversary season Ultraman Mebius. Following the adventures of the rookie Mebius, the Ultra comes to Earth and joins up with the attack team (hilariously out of context) named GUYS. Mebius, GUYS, and even a few characters from past Ultraman series, fight off giant monsters attacking Earth.

Read more

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The Challenge of Bringing Ultraman to America

By Shamus Kelley

Comics

Marvel Reveals Ultraman Details

By Shamus Kelley

Both a great introduction for new fans and rewarding for long time Ultra fans, Mebius is a fantastic show to jump headfirst into the hero that’s larger than life.

Garo 

Available on HiDive

If you want something off the beaten path of the big three Tokusatsu franchises, Garo might be right up your alley. Feeling a bit darker than other Toku (and not just because much of the action taking place at night or in darker spaces), the series follows Makai Knight Kouga Saezima attempting to protect humanity against the evil “Horrors.” Along the way though he encounters Kaoru, who is set to die in 100 days, and he sets out to try and save her.

Everything from the look of the series to the designs of the Garo suit feel different from Sentai, Kamen Rider, and Ultraman and if you aren’t feeling the more traditional vibe of those series Garo might be right up your alley. It’s also the first in a very long and surprising franchise so if you like it, there’s a lot more to get into.

Space Sheriff Gavan

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World Official

The first of the not as often remembered Metal Heroes franchise (although some of the series in it were adapted into VR Troopers and Beetleborgs), Gavan stands out for just how wild it is from the jump. Sure there’s the story about Don Horror (wonder if he’s a bad guy!) trying to destroy Earth and Retsu Ichijouji (Gavan) being sent out to stop him but that’s all icing on the cake. 

Read more

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American Tokusatsu Shows: VR Troopers

By Shamus Kelley

TV

American Tokusatsu Shows: Big Bad Beetleborgs

By Shamus Kelley

Metal Heroes have a reputation for bonkers visuals along with great action and Gavan delivers in spades. From the opening seconds of the first episode we’re greeted with Gavan standing atop a robot dragon standing against a gloriously lush background of outer space. Lead actor Kenji Ohba is also stunning in his action scenes and he puts even the superheroes of today to shame with just how good he is in these hand-to-hand fights.

Love action? Love weirdness? Want to be cool and not go with the obvious choices? Gavan might be for you!

Android Kikaider

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World

An absolute smash hit in Hawaii that’s still talked about to this day, Kikaider is more classic ’70s Toku action if Kamen Rider wasn’t enough for you. Following the heroics of robot Jiro against the (obviously) evil DARK, the main draw of the series is not just the delightfully over the top action but also the compelling conflict between Kikaider and evil robot Hakaider. 

We should also mention that while the first two episodes of all series on Toei Tokusatsu World are subtitled, further episodes that will be uploaded won’t have them and it’s being left up to fans to subtitle the rest. Even without subtitles though, Kikaider’s action should more than keep your attention.

Dynaman (Night Flight Dub)

Available on Night Flight Plus

Easily the strangest entry on this list, Night Flight’s Dynaman isn’t just the seventh entry in the Super Sentai series. Oh no, it’s a little known dub of the show that aired on USA Network’s Night Flight program in the ’80s. It’s a gag dub through and through and mostly relies on pop culture jokes and (and we’re being generous here) outdated humor. 

Still, it’s a peek into one of the earliest examples of Toku being brought to America on a large scale. For that alone it’s worth checking out, especially for those interested in the history of Toku in America and exploring the “what if” of imagining this getting popular instead of Power Rangers.

Gridman The Hyper Agent

Available on TOKU

Bold proclamation to make, but Gridman has the absolute best design of any Tokusatsu hero ever. It takes what worked well enough for Ultraman but added extra detail in all the right places to create a truly iconic look for a hero. 

Gridman follows three hip computer kids (Naoto, Ippei, and Yuka) whose videogame superhero is taken over by the interdimensional Gridman who then combines with Naoto. The computer hero fights against the digital monsters of the evil Kahn Digifer in some of the best looking fights of all the series we’ve mentioned. Some shows might have better action overall but the look of the computerized world of Gridman can’t be beat.

Read more

TV

American Tokusatsu Shows: Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad

By Shamus Kelley

TV

SSSS. GRIDMAN Episode 1 Review: Awakening

By Shamus Kelley

The show may look familiar to some American fans as its footage was used in Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad. Gridaman also experienced a revival in the form of the SSSS.GRIDMAN anime, which redid some of the concepts of the original series with a few easter eggs to Syber-Squad for very hardcore fans.

Special Rescue Exceedraft

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World Official

Look, I’m going to be real with you. I’ve only seen the first two episodes of Exceedraft. I have no idea if the whole series is good. What I can tell you though is that the first episode is straight up the most batshit wild episode of any Toku I’ve ever seen. It’s like if someone took the plot of Speed and said: 

“Aha, let’s do this but condense it down to 20 minutes, add in some shiny superheroes, and make it way more intense.” Also, the title of the episode is “The Kindergarten Bus of Death.” Just watch it. If you watch nothing else on this list, watch this episode. It’s Toku on, well, speed and it’s fantastic.

Jetman

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

What if Super Sentai, but a soap opera? It’s not that Tokusatsu had never had soap opera elements before or after this series, but Jetman took that idea to a level that’s still being talked about today. When Red Ranger Ryuu’s partner is killed in an attack by the (say it with us now) evil Vyram, the powerful “Birdonic Waves” are unleashed on four unsuspecting civilians. Ryuu recruits them and they become the Jetman team.

With strong characterization from the start, Jetman stands out by jumping into the romance between team members as Ryuu struggles with his growing attraction to White Ranger Kaori. It’s standard soap opera stuff, with a love triangle thrown in for good measure (which would have been better if Kaori was given more agency), but if you love those tropes then Jetman might be the series for you.

As we said earlier, this is only a small sampling of some of the shows available on streaming sites in North America. What are some of your favorite Tokusatsu series that are available to watch and which ones do you hope are picked up in the future?

The post Tokusatsu Streaming Guide: Where to Watch Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and More appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[vmheadquarters]

VANITY FAIR: VERONICA MARS on Hulu Will Be Darker, Sexier, and Stacked with Guest Stars

Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas preview the upcoming revival, from Veronica and Logan’s evolving relationship to what happens when spring break descends on Neptune.

Marc FreemanJune 20, 2019 8:00 am

Photo by Michael Desmond/Hulu.

Anticipating a one-way trip down nostalgia lane when Veronica Mars returns to television next month, via an eight-episode revival on Hulu? Prepare to be pleasantly disappointed.

It’s not that Veronica’s forgotten her past—it’s that she’s not in high school anymore. As series creator Rob Thomas said in an interview, this new iteration offers creative fulfillment and the chance for big character development: “I’m interested in the foibles of our characters, and living in a noir world where things aren’t black and white.”

You don’t have to be a Veronica Mars superfan—or a “Marshmallow,” as members of the fan base call themselves—to enjoy this new version, either. While Easter eggs aplenty populate the Neptune city landscape as the show returns, Thomas said he’s most focused on telling a great detective story.

So, what exactly should viewers expect? While compiling my oral history of the show’s original iteration, I also asked the cast and Thomas to brief audiences on what they’ll find when the series returns July 26.

Veronica has grown up

For Veronica, being an adult and acting like one are very different concepts. “You see a lot of TV and film drama stories of when men [have] to grow up,” Thomas said. “They have to be dragged into normal adult life. And a lot of what we’re doing this season is letting Veronica have that role. Not in a dumb, I want to play video games and hang out with my bros sort of way, but in an I find the adult world dull [sort of way].” Star Kristen Bell said that Veronica’s restlessness has placed her at a crossroads: “She is a woman figuring out what she wants out of the rest of her life, which are very different decisions than the ones you make when you’re 16. She sees the world differently. She’s a little more bitter now than when she was on the series.”

The father/daughter relationship remains at the heart of the show

Enrico Colantoni’s Keith Mars often acted like Veronica’s friend on the original series—but he was parental when he needed to be. Years later, his parenting responsibilities here have changed. As Colantoni pointed out, “When she was a young girl, it was all about protecting her, and making sure she’s okay and makes choices that manifest into a good healthy life. Now that she’s an adult, there’s only so much that he can stop her from doing.”

But their private eye business, Mars Investigations, is struggling

Keith ran Mars Investigations for justice, rather than for profit; Veronica thinks the business’s survival depends on finding room for both. “Keith doesn’t care enough about making money,” says Thomas. “Veronica’s the realist going, ’Hey dad, we have to fold tent if we don’t start making money’…. In some respects, it almost comes off like Veronica’s the boss.”

The LoVe (i.e. Logan + Veronica) connection remains complex

As the revival opens, Veronica and Logan—together at last—share a cramped 600-square-foot apartment on the beach with a big dog. “I wanted there to be no space—like when you get home, you’re on top of each other,” said Thomas. “Sometimes that’s great, and sometimes it’s maddening. And for somebody as independent as Veronica…”

In many ways, in fact, Logan has grown up more than Veronica has. Bell was the first to point out that “we have a new Logan on our hands. It’s something Veronica loves, is competing with, and annoyed by.” Jason Dohring, who plays Veronica’s partner, likes the new layers his character has developed: “There’s love and professionalism and duty,” he said. Thomas added that Logan has gone “the Officer and a Gentleman route,” which has given him the discipline to set him on a better path. Five years after the events of the Veronica Mars movie, “he’s continued to try and put his demons in the past, and he’s been largely successful at it,” said Thomas. But “Veronica, I think, likes her demons—[she] thinks they drive her.”

The revival focuses on a familiar theme: haves vs. have-nots

At its core, Neptune always exemplified a world in which the wealthy lived by their own rules and paychecks. This time, however, that contrast has been amplified: “The chain stores come in and replace the mom-and-pop places, and the beach changes, and the energy changes, and it’s no longer a small town,” said Colantoni. Adding fuel to the fire is the story’s time frame. “We come back in the middle of spring break, which is a huge melting pot for Neptune—and there’s all sorts of criminals who are not there usually, and all sorts of crazy people coming of age and testing their boundaries. And kids with throwaway money,” said Francis Capra, who plays Eli “Weevil” Navarro. “It’s a hyper-realized, exaggerated version of Neptune. You see the underbelly of the city—and wherever that is, Weevil’s not too far behind.”

The tone is darker too

“When we were on CW, you have to be safe,” said Bell. “This is Hulu. It’s a whole new ball game.” Thomas sees it as a natural evolution for the series: “We do not want to just keep making the same show we made 15 years ago. It’s certainly more adult. We get to swear. The sex scenes don’t look like CW makeout scenes. It looks like adults having sex.” This fits with his vision for the series as it evolves: “I am trying to turn the show from a CW soap opera with detectives to a detective show. I think we can keep making Veronica Mars as detective shows for a long time.”

Your favorite character is probably present and accounted for

The list includes Max Greenfield’s Leo D’Amato, who’s now in the FBI and in town to work a case; Ryan Hansen’s Dick Casablancas, who is “the king of Spring Break,” according to Hanson; Percy Daggs III’s Wallace Fennel, now a physics teacher and basketball coach married to a lawyer; Julie Gonzalo’s Parker Lee; and Ken Marino’s Vinnie Van Lowe—among others.

There are new cast members as well

Izabela Vidovic joins the series as Matty Ross, a teenager who suffers a tragedy and brings out a whole new side to Veronica. “That was an incredible dynamic to add,” said Bell. “It was fun to let Veronica explore her maternal instincts, which she is barely in tune with—but Matty brings them out. It’s just a whole new dynamic for Veronica to care about a younger person, to genuinely care about another person.” Also look for recognizable faces like Academy Award winner J.K. Simmons and comedian Patton Oswalt as…a Patton Oswalt type.

“When you go in to pitch a show, you get prototypes—like ‘a pizza driver on the wrong side of 40 still delivering pizzas who witnesses this first bomb and becomes obsessed with it,’” Thomas explained. “We’re thinking like, a Patton Oswalt role. You never expect to get those people—but we did with Patton and J.K.… J.K. is a key player. He plays a guy who served time in Chino at the same time as Big Dick Casablanca. He helps him survive prison in exchange for a job on the outside.”

This may not be the last we see of Veronica Mars

Neither Bell nor Thomas wants this to be Veronica’s swan song. According to Bell, “I don’t think the show is anywhere near its end.” Thomas concurred. “I want to tell good detective stories for people, whether they watched Veronica Mars when it was on UPN/CW or not…. I felt great doing these eight episodes, and hope to continue feeling great about it for a long time.”

Link in source.

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: X2 X-Men United

For some reason, I have the full screen version of this.  Not sure what I was thinking when I made that decision.  Anyway....  

What exactly are you a professor of?   Art

There was a time when X2 was considered the best comic book movie ever.  And judging from everything I’ve watched up to this point -- I can understand why it got the reputation.  The film is much more philosophical, the story more intellectually stimulating than a bunch of good guys beat up a bunch of bad guys.  There’s humor to it, and good action, and it makes for a (mostly) good popcorn flick.  But a lot like the first film, it doesn’t hold up nearly twenty years later.  

The story mixes the famous X-Men graphic novel God Love, Man Kills with Wolverine’s backstory.  And while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, the X-Men’s subtext has always been about the ostracization, fear, and discrimination of minorities, a more intimate and philosophical story may not balance well in an action film filled with characters who mostly don’t get to do things until their one or two scenes happen.  

Watching it over again, I still think it works overall.  The story is relatively tight, weaving the two stories together pretty well -- and Wolverine continues to be the main protagonist.  I think it does a decent job telling the story it’s interested in telling.  But this is where I lament that X-Men isn’t a TV series.  Each of these characters (besides Wolverine) deserve their own stories to be told -- and a two hour film is very limiting when it comes to the character’s own arcs.  X2 is wise not to go crazy chasing every tangent, and stick close to the story, but at the same time, the potential of all these characters often seems wasted.  

The special effects are much better in this film, and the film does take the time to showcase everyone’s powers.  My one big issue with the action, however, is that it’s limited to one person at a time.  What makes X-Men so special is that they’re a team -- and we don’t get to see team dynamics at all in the film, which is a shame, since there are so many good players on the board.  On top of that -- this kind of turn based action kind of makes the film feel sluggish in parts.  (Though - I’m sure it’s just me being a modern action film watcher watching something of a different time.) 

So, let’s talk about the characters, shall we? 

Wolverine - Of course, since Wolverine is the most popular X-Men is going to be focused on.  We get development of his backstory, and I think the bits and pieces we’re given work well.  If you know his backstory, it’s a fun little tease, if you don’t, I’m sure they give enough to piece it together.  The unfortunate thing, however, is that this film is so plot driven, the only character development stuff (besides his backstory) ends up being with Jean and.... ug, I hate this love triangle stuff (but I’ll whine about this later).  

That said - I think my favorite aspect of Wolverine’s story in this film is when he gets to play babysitter.  His actions with the kids make an interesting dynamic, and I could just watch a whole move with Wolverine trying to run a school.  

Professor X and Magneto - Of course, the heart of the philosophical story comes here again, much like it will in every X-Men film.  I very much enjoy any time Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen get to be together on screen.  The unfortunate thing is that there’s so much plot to cover, and so many characters to service, they don’t get a whole lot to do in the film.  But what we do is a delight. 

Jean Grey and Cyclops - I keep laughing every time they say Dr. Grey.  What??  

Anyway, Famke Jansson continues to be a delight as Jean.  Other than Xavier and Magneto, she seems to be the closest to her comic counter part (mostly).  And she does really well with all the hints they lay about the Phoenix force.  It’s a shame the third film is going to truly do a great story a disservice.  

Meanwhile, though, we have Cyclops.  And, geez, I just feel so bad for James Marsden, because he gets such an iconic character to play, and literally has nothing to do with him.  He even overacts in his emotional scenes with Jean, and it’s almost as if he’s like he’s trying make up for not having anything to do.  It’s a real shame because Cyclops, believe it or not, is a fascinating and complex character, who really deserves so much more than the one-note character this trilogy portrays him as.  

As for the love triangle... I hate love triangles in general, but this one is just even worse than usual.  It’s barely a triangle, because the film doesn’t even bother with one third of it.  I could go on a whole diatribe, but I’ll spare you.  If you’d really like to know - send me a message! Otherwise, I’ll leave it at - I hate love triangles. 

Storm - You can tell Halle Berry asked for more to do.  And, like, most of the rest of the characters, she gets more lines, but not much more character development.  I still feel she’s incredibly miscast here.  Where’s the woman who did her voice for the cartoon? That was a Storm. But, Berry’s acting aside, Storm is another character who is complex and varied, and it’s a shame so little of her comes through in these films. 

Nightcrawler -- We get a new character! It’s kinda weird that they steal some of the unpopular traits he has in the comics (the religious leanings) and tone down some of his more notable characteristics -- like his goofing around and swordplay.  I get why they did this, somewhat for plot, somewhat to make philosophical points.  But I do miss the charming, Errol Flynn wanna be of the comics.  That said -- I think Alan Cummings did a great job with his role, and the action sequences with NIghtcrawler look great! 

Rogue and Bobby -- **sigh** I won’t bore you too long with my feelings about Rogue.  Anna Paquin is fine.  The character makes sense for what this universe has made her out to be.  I just... I miss my girl from the comics.  I hope some day we do get to see a closer to comics version of her -- sassy, brassy, and yet very vulnerable.  But -- since the plot doesn’t need her (or her powers) she’s relegated to second string.  

Bobby gets more to do, and having read a ton of comics since this first came out, I have a much bigger appreciation for Iceman.  I love the actor who plays him here - he’s great! I do enjoy the little bit that he gets to do.  And the scene where he ‘comes out’ to his parents is perfect on a lot of levels.  (Even funnier, now that comic book Iceman is gay.)  

I still don’t think, overall, Rogue and Bobby make much sense as a couple, but for the purposes of this universe, it works fine enough. 

The Brotherhood -- Okay, so this is primarily this is Mystique and Pyro.  Where are the others? Well, this film is a little stuffed already.  Mystique is fine - this film has no interest going into her psyche, and while she is a character who deserves development, the next trilogy is going to kill any interest in a film version, so I’m fine here.  I’m still confused as to why she’s naked, though.  I miss her white, flowy dress of the comics.  

Meanwhile, in the comics, Pyro is a third rate villain.  They bring him in here to offset Iceman.  I get it. He’s fine.  Whatever. 

I get why they bring the villains over to side with the X-Men, but not going to lie when they’re not fighting each other, and just humans, I don’t think it’s as exciting, but that’s just me.  

Oh, and before someone gets upset that I don’t mention her -- Lady Deathstrike.  Is in the film.  It’s an extended cameo.  It’s fine, I don’t really care all that much about Lady Deathstrike, so I’m fine with it. 

William Stryker - The main villain of the whole thing.  I think he works on paper, and he’s fine.  I’m not going to lie - I find scenes with him pretty boring, but plot revolves around him, and that’s fine.  Interestingly, I think his son, Jason, was a nod to Jason Wyngarde - Mastermind, who can project different realities around you.  I feel like that’s a nice little nugget there.  But other than that, I don’t have a whole lot to say about the main villain of the film.

Cameos and Easter Eggs -- there are a lot of little nuggets in here, and I’m not going to go through them all, but it’s nice to see a lot of other mutants scattered around, as well as nods to the comics.  It does add a fun layer onto the film.  

Final Thoughts:  I think the ending sequence works to great effect - but I still say this film’s thinner, and more philosophical plot leaves most of the characters by the wayside.  It was a great step forward for comic book films, it was lighter than the first one, had more humor, had some great talking points, and some good action sequences.  It’s still, unfortunately, wastes the potential of nearly all of its characters.  

Next Up: Oh, god, there’s a Hulk movie worse than Incredibly Hulk.... 

[maevelin]

Episode 1x05

1. Five has lived such a hard life. Truly. And in the end all that it mattered to him was to get back to save his family. He is such a cynic but he genuinely cares!

And he literally is a master assassin! That alone makes him one of my faves! 

Seriously though....An adult that is a master assassin trapped in a child’s body. Dude that’s rough LOL...Although imagine the options!

Although he does get a second chance and I feel that despite everything he may be the most emotionally balanced and driven person from their group.  Which does not say much because they are all messed up big time so even in comparison we are still talking about a mess but yeah.

Let us face it. He is the only one that actually seems to pay attention to his siblings. Klaus most of all. He actually bothers to ask and care for his well being too. Sure he is also interested in the time travel part but he actively cares for his family despite how smug he can be and how big his ego is. He is also jaded from time too but still has a heart. He is wise too.

And at least Five can see the bigger picture here. This is why I think has a plan otherwise he wouldn’t follow the handler that easily.

Although his only perspective is not the way to go. He needs more than what he can do alone. He needs his family. Not just to save them. But to let them save him too. Together to save the world.

Which reminds me.

“That’s murder.

...Jesus Luther, grow up”

Should I point out that Luther’s spiel about a code makes no sense when he does not have any? Not truly. Sure he has some morals here and there but are they his? His code was only the indoctrination he received form daddy dearest. At least everyone else took some distance and tried to form their own personalities. He remained the dutiful son. I wonder how is that working out of him lol

And he is so desperate to take upon the mantle of the leader...like dude chill. And if we go by age at this point you could try see past appearance if you are leader material and acknowledge that Five is actually much older than you and take that under consideration instead of dismissing him mentally because you only see your kid brother.

At this point I feel that the only genuine emotions he has separate from his father are the incestuous feelings he has for his sister which is twisted on its own even more than the rest. I mean...

2. The end of everything?...Not everything...the end of something.

I admit that’s interesting. Also I always find it amusing. For every dystopian futuristic apocalypse humans act as if everything in earth is their survival and theirs alone when in reality either way Earth goes on and maybe even in better conditions without the human race in it. We are never humble when we imagine such a future are we?

3. Klaus....KLAUS.

Sure...let me start a new show I say...let me enjoy a new series I say... let me let it break my heart, rip it out of my chest and stomp all over it!

The scene comes with Klaus in the bus and I am in pieces. I can’t! And then the pain keeps on coming!

I can’t believe that all his siblings ever saw him as a joke when he is obviously hurting as much as they do if not more. And now...now it is all coming to a head and they still do not see it. Klaus barely moves and he talks slowly and is silent and looks as if he has quit life and they still don’t see it Unless he breaks down in front of them in all the dramatic crying and spell it out for them they don’t realize it. 

Five saw it . Diego had time to see it but even that had to be stretched thin for him to actually see his brother suffering. 

How can Klaus’ pain be so invisible to his family? How is that even possible? 

And the show keeps breaking him more and more and I...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW THAT THEY HAVE TO KEEP HURTING KLAUS SO MUCH AND LIKE THAT? WHY???? HE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT! LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP!

My boy is so depressed. In pieces. Suffering from PTSD of all sorts. 

And...Dave. HOLY SHIT! That picture. The sounds of the bombs...The war...Klaus is a Veteran...he served in the war...and is now suffering loss and post traumatic effects. SHIT!

OMFG! I CAN’T DO THIS! IT HURTS SO MUCH! 

I would like to add that I would also pretty much appreciate it if when Klaus says someone tortured him ...for others to actually oh I don’t know...MAYBE ACKNOWLEDGE IT?

- Kudos to the actor for his acting! Either it is his dramatic acting or his comedic timing. He owns it! 

3.5. Klaus’ and Diego’s scenes WERE PRICELESS!

And that ice cream truck scene..go faster!....WEEHEEEEE!

I Couldn���t stop laughing LMAO

4. I am getting more and more attached with Diego. His stutter and his anger. I liked the potential her had with Eudora and I got sad in the last episode when she died but as I watch the episode now I feel that as a plot it is the kind of one that serves for a male character’s pain and was a bit unnecessary. I don’t like the disposable woman trope for the sake of male development and here it feels so not needed because I am relating with Diego for reasons that don’t have anything to do with Eudora’s loss. His speech issues, his anger, the way he viewed his mom, his scenes with Luther and Klaus. All these things make him interesting and show layers in him. Sure I get his pain with Eudora now but they could have gone without that and I could have kept the ship you know!

Anyhow I start to relate to Diego a lot. And the fact that he actually bothered to ask Klaus if he was okay and then followed him and helped him surely helped me liking him even more. And they connected over their loss which is probably very rare for them to do so if it has even happened before (although we still get in the way the tragic bury your gays trope and the fridging of female characters)...but all in all when Klaus opened up to Diego and Diego was there...it broke my heart but also mended it a little bit too.

BROWNIE POINTS FOR THEIR BRAWL! GO GO GO! 

I think what in the end wins me over with Diego is that he gives the most sibling vibe out of every other sibling in the sense that when you pair him with any of the brothers and the sisters you immediately get the sibling vibe either it is the funny kind or the annoying kind or the strained kind. The caring is there, the annoying each other is there, the I am the one to mess with my family but no one else is allowed is there, I will kick their asses but I will always have their backs is there, the I can’t stand them is there etc. He fights with Luther and they ignite each other and you still see the brothers. Same with Klaus now. I got glimpses with Five. Even with Vanya even when he called her a liability while still being angry with her. With Allison too to an extent. That kind of dynamics with him work perfectly. 

I have seen him so far with his family and I just feel like how is how brothers act with each other or how a brother acts with their sisters and so on and with Diego is effortless.

5. The thing with Vanya will not end well. It can’t be a coincidence that she is getting her powers only days before the apocalypse.

So if she was taking the pills from her childhood it means that her abusive dad got her hooked on them and once she cuts them she gets energetic and happy and has a sharper edge to the way she perceives the world. And as always in such shows powers are related to emotions. Now that she is off the meds she gets her make up, she gets more confident in her responses, she is succeeding. And with the creepy guy giving her calculated nudges she opens up more and more. So the drugs kept her subdued? Why? There was a ripple when she was playing the violin. So she has powers too powers that were hibernating because of the drugs. 

And the end scene with the ripple going all through town...in the creep’s attic next to the violinist he killed was the book Klaus’ threw away in the pilot right? The one Pogo was looking? Their dad’s book. So it has something to do with Vanya and her powers that are now awakening.

How did her father screw up with her too? At this point it is more or less finding the ways their dad didn’t mess them up instead of the other way around.

6. Pogo and Grace. Something is definitely up and of course it all ties together with the end of the world right? 

And Diego had to be right. Mom is feeling things for sure.

7. Luther’s attitude tires me a lot even though I get where he is coming from. He is just so...righteous? In a weird way. And has the kind of alpha male traits I find off putting.  

8. I am finding Allison boring for the most part of it. The moment she is not in a scene I seem to forget she exists if I am being honest here so I can only hope that her arc is leading into something big.

9. Hazel and that waitress are kind of cute.

P.s: 

- That bar fight! LOL...Klaus HEAD BUTTING ASSHOLES and jumping on backs to get into the brawl! 

“I would like to apologize that you are depriving some village OF THEIR IDIOT!”

YEAH BABY! And the difference between him staying out of fights and throwing fire extinguishers in the first episode and now going all in. My baby has grown! 

- Loved the Easter eggs we got with the people/historical figures Five actually killed.

[soimarriedayuki]

Who’s the Grown Up

Easter is over and so one tradition is replaced with another. Although granted this one is not so much religious as it is about cheap chocolate. Everywhere that once sold Easter eggs and candy for full price suddenly puts shelves of it at half price in order to sell up before the next holiday descends on the store. 

I give you a short tale of “tradition” from our household, and it all starts with my darling husband. 

---

It might sound crazy given the fact we have a child that neither of us as parents once considered Easter as a holiday. At least not to the extent that some other people seem to. We do buy a few small eggs and place them around the house to give the child some entertainment. To be honest it kind of makes me feel like I’m a zookeeper and I’m providing entertainment for a caged animal in my care. 

Family and friends have been dropping by on and off the week before and handing over larger more expensive looking eggs for our child. Naturally, I gratefully accept the gifts whilst masking my bewilderment that someone paid so much for it in the first place. The result of it is we have a pile of eggs to add to the small ones we already had and can make the egg hunt larger. 

Yuki seems to enjoy the hunt more than the child at times. He will happily run around with her and fake not being able to see the egg allowing her to pick it up big smile beaming on her face that she found yet another and Daddy didn’t. 

“You know its kind of cute to see you being so sweet sometimes?” I call out while I sip on my coffee waiting on the oven timer to beep at me telling me that the food is done.

“Shut up dummy...” Yuki looks away bashfully in his daughter’s direction and mumbles “I just want her to have fun that’s all.”

It is official as if I didn’t already know but our daughter has her father well and truly wrapped around her finger. I end up spending the morning watching my husband and our daughter running around the house with tiny woven baskets hunting eggs.

---

Next day **Alarm clock rings** 

Not unusual as it is a school day now and I have to get up but unlike a normal day Yuki is the one that leans over the top of me to turn it off. His elbow is jabbing me in my side as he rolls his weight to stretch for the off button on my clock. If you ever wonder what it might be light to be trapped under a steam roller like a cartoon character I suggest you try to live with my husband. 

“Urgh!” My painful groan is half muffled in the pillow as I try to push his back from me a little.

“Oh! You’re awake?” He sounds genuinely surprised which just adds to my annoyance. Do you think I could sleep through that?

“No Yuki I always manage to sleep like a log when a heavy brainless moron squishes me first thing in the morning!” I give a bigger shove and he tumbles back onto his side of the bed with a thud.

“Hey!” 

“What are you doing anyway? I thought you wanted to catch up on sleep because you were working nights this week?” Free from his weight I manage to sit up in bed and try to adjust my brain so I can get up and sort out breakfast and the child’s packed lunch. 

“Something important came up.”

“Oh?” I end up looking at him quizzically waiting for more details but get nothing. 

“Yeah so hurry up and get the kid ready so we can drop her off and go out. Mush” He gives me a nudge to get up faster and slaps me on my butt as if that is going to make me move faster. To be honest he is lucky at that point I’m still sluggish because I would have taken a playful bat with my hand at his ear for his idea of “encouragement”.

“Hey! don’t smack my ass and then say mush!” I glared at him even as I was still moving out of the bedroom wrapping my dressing gown around myself.

“Oh just get moving and get sorted if you aren’t ready when I’m going I’m leaving without you.”

---

The something important turned out to be hitting up the local store that had all of the reduced to clear Easter candy. Money is always tight so the fact that we tend to look at the cheaper stuff in the store is nothing new but it is unusual to see Yuki willingly venture into the candy aisle. 

“Come on keep up you love this stuff right?” He shouts out to me holding up a bag of gummy shapes giving the bag a shake.

“I do.” 

“What’s up?” He tosses the bag at me and I have to move fast to avoid being beaned by it and catch it in the basket instead.

“That’s what I want to ask you. I have known you for years and I never see you acting like you just got a golden ticket to Wonka's factory.” My observation makes him freeze as if he suddenly just realised what he was doing. 

“Yeah? Well, it’s not like I hate the stuff I just don’t eat a lot of it.” He scratches his head and drags his hand through his hair looking a little pink in the face before noticing another shelf of candy. “Oooh, I love this one. That’s good too. AH! and that one!”

I chuckle to myself trying to suppress the desire to laugh out loud at the sight of him clearly lost in the moment. And dutifully carry the basket around following him as he picks up items to buy.

---

Our kitchen table is coated in a layer of Easter candy when we get home and Yuki unceremoniously upended the two bags we just got from the store on it. It wasn’t all chocolate there were some gummies and hard candy mixed in with it all but it was basically a lot of hollow eggs and bunny shaped things. 

I flick the switch on the side of the kettle to boil some water for coffee and when I turn around there is Yuki sitting at the table arranging the candy with a look of concentration on his face I usually only see when we are playing strategy board games.

"what are you doing?" 

"Sorting out the eggs." He says it as if I’m somehow the idiot in the situation. 

"Ok... and why are you doing that?" I lean on the counter and just watch as he moves the things around lime a commander overseeing a battlefield.

"There are ones here I know you won't eat if you had a choice so that makes the rest mine." The tone of his voice sounded a little like a child which was equal parts adorable and funny to me. The man who constantly tells me he is not a child. The person who points out when something we are doing is childish. And here he was moving candy into his pile like a dragon sitting on a hoard of gold.

"Yuki you don't even eat that much chocolate. What about Tiny?" At the mention of his daughter his head snaps up and I can see his eye waver as he looks at what we just bought. We did say we weren’t giving our child tons of candy and prefer her to eat fruit and veg but at no point did we ever say she was getting none at all. I could make out several things that had slipped from the mass of brought candy into his pile that she loves. 

"I said they are mine she is NOT getting all this." He motions at the dentist’s nightmare of tooth decay on the table. 

"There are days I wonder if you are Yoshi..." I shake my head at him and turn around to make some tea. 

"The Mario guy?" 

"No Yuki not the Mario guy!" 

---

[winryofresembool]

Edwin/dad!Ed one-shot: Girl Issues

Summary: Ed’s son Alan has been disappearing a lot from their house, and Ed tries to figure out why.

A/N: finally! This took like a million years. I hope you guys will still enjoy it :) Please let me know what you think!! (bing @automail-freak-and-alchemy-freak)

Edit: I forgot to say there might be a small “easter egg” hidden in the fic, about a movie some Edwin people have been talking about lately :’)

Words: 2450

Warnings: swearing

”Hey, Ed?” Winry addressed her husband who was cleaning the kitchen after the dinner. “Do you think Alan has been acting weirdly lately? He’s been doing… less mechanic work and gone out to town way more often…”

“He has?” Ed stopped putting the plates into the cupboard and turned to look at his wife, raising his eyebrows. “To me he has told that he’s simply taking some extra art lessons with Mr. Dawson because drawing blueprints has never been his strength.”

Winry crossed her arms over her chest and looked just as surprised as he did. “And to me he’s told he’s helping out some friends who have trouble with school… Something doesn’t add up.”

“Hmm. It’s not like him to hide things from us. I think I will call Mr. Dawson tonight and ask him if he’s really been at his house,” Ed decided. The conversation ended at that point because a loud crash could be heard from the living room, and Winry rushed to check what the twins had broken this time.

Only half an hour later, Ed, who was observing Emma’s alkahestry studies upstairs, heard the front door opening and closing. That let him know Alan had just left the building. He waited 10 more minutes, just in case Alan indeed went to the Dawsons, before dialing their phone number.

“Mr. Dawson? Hello! I’m calling you because my son seems to have been spending a lot of time there lately. Is he there right now?”

“No. And he hasn’t been here for the past two or three weeks, so I wouldn’t call that ‘a lot’,” a grumpy voice answered.

Ed narrowed his eyes at that piece of information, but he didn’t want to make Mr. Dawson too suspicious so he didn’t reveal the real reason of his call.

“Oh, OK. Well, thank you, anyway. And if he shows up, could you tell him to come home as soon as possible? Winry has a commission to finish and the twins are currently trying to kill me, so extra hands would certainly be useful.” The part about the twins was obviously a lie, as they were sitting surprisingly quietly in the living room listening to their father’s phone call, but the dramatic wording would probably get Alan home more easily. That is, if he ever got the message.

Winry glanced at Ed curiously when he finished the call.

“So? Did you find out anything?”

Ed shrugged. “Only that Alan hasn’t visited Mr. Dawson for several weeks. I thought he was enjoying his classes!”

“I thought so too,” Winry said, getting more and more confused.

“Did you talk to any of his friends?” Ed asked then.

“I just saw Jack, that boy from his class, down the street, and he said that if Alan had been helping someone, he certainly wasn’t among them. But you know, to me it sounded like he was hiding something from me.”

“Great,” Ed sighed. “So he’s been lying to both of us. What do we do about this?”

“I guess we should get him to talk. But how do we do it? He’s got your blood in him, you know.” Winry threw Ed a sly look that Ed had seen quite many times during their years of marriage.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Ed pretended to be hurt by Winry’s implications.

“Just that you have never been very good at expressing yourself, honey.” Ed snorted, because Winry and he had never been ones for pet names. “But also, since he’s more like you than you probably realize, you should be able to figure out the best way to make him open up. Was there anything that managed to crack your shell open when you were a teenager?”

Ed leaned his jaw against his hand, seeming to consider Winry’s question. His face seemed to have gotten some extra color when he spoke.

“Well, after the Promised Day… There was this girl who had been my friend since forever… She had even built me an automail leg and arm, so I could function… I knew she was upset because I couldn’t tell her what was happening in my life, but after the Promised day, when I felt it was safe to tell her everything… it was easier than I thought. Why? Because she made me feel she cared.”

“Ed… that’s very sweet of you…,” Winry said, completely surprised by her husband’s words and blushing slightly. She let her hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before continuing: “Anyway, I guess that means you should show that you do care about his wellbeing. I mean, deep down he must know that already, but you know, sometimes it’s good to say it aloud. He’s in a difficult age, but I know he really respects you and values your opinions.”

“I hope so,” Ed grunted, not quite believing her.

Until that moment, the twins who had been listening the whole time hadn’t said anything, but suddenly the 4-year-old Henry blurted: “We heard brother talking with big sissy today! He told her to ‘dis… tract you’, whatever that means, while someone comes to get him with a motorbike!”

“Really?” Winry asked, her eyebrows raising probably higher than the twins had ever seen. “Those two are almost as bad as… oh, never mind,” she added quickly when she saw the twins staring at her intensely.

“So that’s why Emma was so eager to show me what she had learned with Mei… She’s usually not that enthusiastic about it,” Ed noted.

“Makes perfect sense. Hey, my little king and queen,*” Winry ruffled her kids’ hair, “you didn’t happen to hear where they were planning to go?”

“No, mum,” the twins said in unison. “But I bet Emma knows!”

“We’ll just have to ask her, then.”

“No, dad, I’m not gonna tell you where Alan is. One, because I don’t know it either since they change their meeting place regularly, and two, because it’s none of your business.”

Emma took a book from her bedside table and pretended to be interested in it instead of looking at her father’s stare. Even though it didn’t work quite as well against her as it once used to, she still felt slightly bad about hiding things from him. Alan was right, though, their parents were too curious for their own good.

“Fine, then. Can you at least tell me with whom he is?”

Emma was positive her father would use what he liked to call “Elric telepathy” on her if she didn’t talk, so she let a little huff from her mouth and said:

“He’s gonna murder me, but… you would find out eventually if they continue doing this. You’re not gonna like this, dad…”

“Emma, just tell me already.” Ed was starting to show signs of losing his patience. Even though he had calmed down after having his children, the old temper still raised its head when he was truly annoyed or frustrated.

“Remember how Mei’s niece from Xing came to visit her and Al a couple of months ago because she wanted to learn more about Amestris and alchemy?” Emma asked, trying to be nonchalant but failing at it.

“Yes, wasn’t she Ling’s daughter?” Ed asked, not understanding why Emma had started talking about her. “Didn’t she have all those guards behind her all the time because she’s the daughter of the Emperor?”

“You are right, she was… Well, what you probably don’t know is that she decided to stay here in Amestris. She’s been trying to keep a low profile because she doesn’t want the media to follow her.”

“OK, but what does this have to do with Alan? I don’t get… OH!” The pieces of the puzzle started finally clicking in Ed’s head, and Emma could see his face taking a more and more dark red shade as he processed the information. “Are you telling me… my son… is seeing… that bastard’s heir?!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.” Emma shrugged. “I thought you and the Emperor were friends, though? Doesn’t he always send you presents on holidays and stuff?”

“Damn right he does,” Ed suddenly stopped caring that he was talking to his daughter, “but that’s only because I once had to pay for a hell of a lot of food for him. He owes me.”

“Whatever you say…” Emma rolled her eyes. “Listen, please don’t be too hard on Alan. From what I’ve seen, they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and Zhi is a nice person.”

“Fine. But I’m still gonna talk with him.” Under his breath, he mumbled: “what if they decide to get married? What if my son becomes a prince? What if…”

“Um, dad, I don’t know what you had in your mind when you were 15 but I really don’t think they are thinking about marriage yet,” Emma said, amused by her father’s exaggerated reaction.

“When I was 15, I was trying to save our entire country from Homunculi so it was a bit different!”

“Based on your stories, you were only trying to save Uncle Al, dad, and everything else just happened by accident.”

“That… might be true, but you shouldn’t say it aloud, Emma,” Ed gave her a fake hurt look. “I still punched the god on his face!”

“Whatever, dad.” She took her book again and hid her face behind it. “Just… could you go now so I can continue reading in peace? I have a test tomorrow I need to study for.”

“Would you like me to help?”

“Just go, please!”

Ed and Winry had already put the twins into bed when Alan showed up at home again. Winry remained calm on the surface even though Ed knew she must have been sizzling underneath her cool cover. She had always hated it when he and Al had hidden something from her and now, they were talking about their 15-year-old son… Ed guessed that it was normal teenagers acted that way, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He suggested Winry go to check on the rest of the kids while he’d deal with Alan.

“Alan, can we talk?” Ed asked, barely able to contain his annoyance. Alan looked like he sensed his parents had found out something, the guilty expression Winry had seen on Ed so many times giving him away.

“Now? Dad, I’m hungry as fuck, haven’t eaten anything since lunch so can I at least grab a bite first?”

“What’s with that language, young man?” Ed asked disapprovingly.

“Please, like you weren’t the one who taught me that word…” That was the truth, but Ed wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

“I’ve always told you to not do what I do, not the other way around…”

“Right… Well, since you clearly aren’t allowing me to eat, you might as well get into the topic.” Alan crossed his arms just like his mother had a little bit earlier. That amused Ed a bit.

“We can always talk about it in the kitchen,” Ed noted, a small smile spreading on his face.

“So… what was it you wanted to talk about?” Alan asked when he had a full bowl of stew in front of him.

Ed looked serious again. “I think you know. Don’t think we haven’t noticed your disappearances lately.”

“But I’ve been…”

“We know you haven’t been where you were supposed to be. I talked to Mr. Dawson today and he told me you haven’t visited him for several weeks.”

“I’ve…”

“Listen, the sooner you admit it, the better. Do you want me to know the real story or the vague one Emma told me?”

“She told you about Zhi? Damnit, I’m never telling her anything again.”

“I think you are missing the point there, son.”

“Fine,” Alan finally admitted, as he was lapping the stew into his mouth. “Yes, I’ve been hanging out with Mei’s niece… who also happens to be the Xingese Emperor’s daughter.”

“And…?”

“And what? What are you expecting me to tell you? That she’s pregnant? That we are about to announce our engagement any day now? That I’ve decided to move to Xing and leave my family behind forever?”

“None of those things are true, right?” Ed raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“Of course they aren’t! I like her, and we have a lot of fun when we are hanging out… But I do realize that she’s a princess from another country. And she knows the realities too. She’s gonna have to go back eventually. And when she does, she is in the constant focus of her people. That is not something I’ve ever imagined going through, but why does it have to mean I’m not allowed to enjoy this moment? I knew you guys would react badly to this, that’s why I didn’t tell anything.”

“Now we finally got to the root of the problem,” Ed said. “I don’t mind you hanging out with this Zhi girl… the princess… whatever… But I am upset that you have been lying to us for a long while now.”

Alan couldn’t help but roll his eyes in annoyance. “Like you’ve never had any secrets yourself…”

“I admit that when I was your age, I hid a lot of things from your mother, because I wanted to keep her safe… But I regretted it a lot. I could see she hated it, and it made me upset too. After the Promised Day, I was so relieved because I could finally share everything. I think it made our relationship stronger too.” Ed sighed before adding: “I’m not good at these things, but what I’m trying to say is that please don’t hide things from us just because you think we might not like what you are wanting to tell us. We are here to support you.”

“Dad, thanks… And sorry… for not telling you.” “No problem, son. I’m just saying what I wish my father had once told me.”

“Oh…” Alan hadn’t heard his father talking about his father a lot. He had just always assumed they had had a bad relationship. And this proved he had been right.

“So, now that we have dealt with that…,” Ed spoke suddenly, “about this Zhi girl… how far have you gone with her? Do I need to have the talk with you?”

“Dad, stop being so embarrassing!” Alan screamed and jumped off his chair. “I’m not gonna talk about that with you! Uncle Al or even the Emperor of Xing would give better advice than you!”

“Hey, take that back!” Ed growled, but Alan had already run away from the kitchen, and he was left to fume with anger on his own.

*Names Erika and Henry both mean rulers and I have a headcanon that the twins indeed are the rulers of the Rockbell-Elric household even though they are all a pretty strong willed bunch.