#but its a start on how i feel
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Space Marines and my Thoughts
Alright fuck it, exploration of my thoughts on space marines and what I think of their meaning. Even though I know that I'm prolly gonna get mocked for this, this is my blog and I get to become emotionally attached to the super freaks and claim there's a deeper meaning to them even though it isn't well discussed in the few books I've read.
Under a read more cuz this is going to be a long one.
Space marines are just as much victims of the system as the average citizen
Space marines are children who were taken at a young age and were repeatedly exposed to extremely traumatic events to develop the right type of PTSD for ascension to space marines. Created intentionally by the emperor to make a mass-produced super soldier, which he also likely planned to completely execute once that phase of his plan was finished, so consideration for actually making functional people wasn't really considered. Even after their ascension to space marine they still are just as much meat in the grinder as every other human, just cuz they can survive better than an average human doesn't mean there aren't bigger things that can completely mulch them.
Space marines are viewed by regular humans as either ethereal angels of destruction or as barely acceptable mutants, both leading to isolation from those around them
In the first/second chapter of Horus Rising (if I remember the title right) we see through the eyes of a rembrancer that she sees space marines as mutants that are only respectable because they are working for the emperor. While likely the view of space marines as mutants has fallen out of popular opinion, the view of them as angels of death both still end up with the dehumanization of space marines. Despite their human origin and still frankly just being extremely emotionally traumatized humans with modifications, they aren't considered human. Which can lead to frustrations in communication, this can lead to either just avoiding humans alltogether to avoid being objectified, or leaning into that stereotype either to just stop fighting it or perhaps a way to live as an individual by justifying choices under their dehumanization.
Space marines fall under just as much scrutiny from the inquisition as the average human, if not moreso depending on the inquisitor
We see in the Ahriman Omnibus that an entire chapter is wiped out on the command of one inquisitor with the backing of a Grey Knight. While most inquisitors may not have the desire to poke the bear as it were, I feel many put space marines under a microscope because they don't follow certain pieces of the Imperial Cult (e.g. don't believe the Emperor is a god). This can lead to increased suspicion and further isolate space marines from the general human population. Which can lead to lashing out and turning renegade/traitor, becoming extremely insular in hopes of avoiding judgement for chapter belief, or this scrutiny becomes reflected towards other members in hopes of placating the wolves by sacrificing their own.
The extreme trauma they faced both during ascension and their service isn't expressed in healthy ways, which further alienates them but help forge bonds between other space marines due to shared traumas.
Their trauma is something they simply have to bury, or treat as par for the course, and thus deal with the psychological repercussions on their own. This can lead to childish behavior, violent outbursts, emotional withdrawal, etc. Which is well documented in the real world when people suffer traumatic events and don't get the help they need in processing it. They form close bonds with other space marines due to a potential subconscious acknowledgement that the other understands what they've went through, and can find safety in what to them is extreme vulnerability. This bond can definitely be formed between them and a guardsmen, but what a space marine may view as vulnerability might not be seen as such by a regular human.
#probably will add more to this#but its a start on how i feel#warhammer 40k#space marines#adeptus astartes#refer to pinned post if you wanna talk about space marines being man-babies or anything similar
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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they make me feel unwell
(continued: Stan & Young Ford)
#the flip side is that Grunkle Stan and Young!Ford are really funny to draw. But these two? I think about them and start sobbing#anyway been trying to draw a little Time Travel AU stuff. specifically The grunks meeting their 30-something-year-old selves#oldies in the 80s AU#if you will#its like god imagine being completely no contact with your brother and then BAM a guy who has the EXACT relationship you want shows up#and he's being really nice to you and you're pretty sure you've passed out and this is a dream but you really dont want to wake up#and on Ford's side he is suddenly face to face with this really beat up younger version of his brother and its like uh oh! Guilt!#Best behaviour time. cannot be ribbing this one like he would've been if Grunk Stan got injured.#Which only adds to the whole 'I'm bleeding out after being beaten up and this is a fever dream' feeling on Stan's side#cw injury#cw blood#i mean drawn and cartoony but still#gahh kinda want to completely redo this from scratch but tis what it tis#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls time travel AU#time travel au#is time stuck a specific thing or general term for time travel in the fandom? I feel like its a specific thing.#like how iirc twins in time is when its the baby stans with the older ones. but idkkk idkkkkkkk!!!#GF Fan art#gravity falls fanart#fan art#fanart#Ford pines#grunkle ford#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#mullet stan#young stanley pines#my art
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cw: pro-hero bakugo, reader has boobs, kind of explicit/nsfw? idk i describe boobs, reader is smaller and shorter than bakugo, unedited sawry
bakugo's muscle tee looks as ill-fitting as it'll ever be draped over you.
there are reasons for this, perfectly founded and logical reasons for why that is—the main one being that, it's, well, his; two, maybe even three sizes larger than what it should be to fit you properly.
but, he can't stop staring, and there are reasons for that too—the main one being that, it's his, and yet, the only way he can ever imagine it now is when it's being worn by you.
your hips sway to the song you've been humming for the past five minutes. it's the same one, the chorus on a perpetual loop. he's sure it's the only part you know; you do this often enough that it's the only part he knows now, too.
the hem of his tee hits right at the top of your thighs, concealing just enough to tease, but he’s confident that if you reach up even the slightest bit for the cupboard overhead, there'll be nothing to hide.
he feels a little bit like a creep like this, watching as he stands in the middle of your shared living room, but it's impossible too look away—you've got to be doing this on purpose, right?
heat flares inside of him when you turn your body ever so slightly, the armhole of his muscle tee large enough to give him the clearest view of skin—
he gulps.
it's smooth, sloping just right; the side view of your under boob curves into its perfect shape and he can imagine it, feel—
(is this considered perving if he's been with you for years?)
the pan in front of you sizzles as you plop in god knows what. you pour in something from the side and wait, one hand propped on the hip you pop out. then, you pick up the pan, attempting to flip what's inside (probably a pancake, now that he thinks about it).
it’s hard to focus on what you’re cooking though, especially when all he sees is plump flesh jiggling, bouncing as you further agitate the pan.
he just got the pants of this suit readjusted, and now they're fucking tight.
bakugo normally runs hot; it’s kind of part of his dna. but this warmth is different, flushing him from head to toe. it creeps up the side of his neck, painting the tips of his ears a blooming red.
you turn around then, plopping the pancake on the plate atop the counter behind you.
"oh! you're done," you greet him with a smile. so. fucking. casually.
as if your tits aren't fucking peaking against the gray fabric of his tee.
as if you think he buys the fake innocence poorly concealing that sly, conniving look in your pretty eyes.
as if you aren't standing in front of him in his muscle tee, wearing nothing underneath it like you didn’t do this on purpose. like you don’t know what it fucking does to him.
his eyes squint suspiciously, deep vermillion staring straight into yours.
you tilt your head, the tips of your lashes kissing the top of your cheekbones as you blink. you reach for a bottle of honey.
“everything okay?” you ask, voice syrupy, sickeningly sweet.
your movements play in front of him languidly, the corner of your lips curling up slightly as you smirk. honey catches on your finger as you pop open the bottle cap.
he’s supposed to be out the door in five minutes if he wants to make it in time for a meeting at the agency. technically, he should already be there if he wants to keep up his track record of consistently being fifteen minutes too early.
but you start to approach him, rounding the kitchen island. there’s a narrow space between him and the slab of marble, but you slide into it like it was made for you.
he’s certain it was, from the way the tip of your nose brushes against his as you tiptoe. your tits are right fucking there, brushing against the skintight material of his suit.
there’s too much fucking fabric if you ask him, between cotton and spandex.
your grin widens, and he feels hot, the heat from his cheeks radiating.
then you whisper, still saccharine, “breakfast is ready,” before kissing him on the lips lightly. a short peck, soft in the way that promises more before you slip away, giggling in your retreat.
he huffs, watching you leave. his feet shift as he thinks.
five minutes, huh?
like hell he’s going to eat these damn pancakes for breakfast today.
#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#ALWAYS GOING TO PUSH FOR THE BKG CLOSET PERV AGENDA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#he HAAAAAAAAATES that he feels this way BUT LIKE ALL HERO STORIES START WITH: his body moves on its own 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️#he tries to restrain it sooooo hard#but i think when youve been together a while something shifts in him#he still gets flustered!! still gets so hot and embarrassed about it!!! but i think he grows comfortable#with the idea that he /can/ act on it. that it isn’t shameful if he does.#so i think the big difference between a pining bakugo and being in a relationship w him#esp a long term one#is the fact that his reactions are still very much the same#but his actions become more proactive when he feels more secure in the relationship#and i adore the idea of a reader who loves teasing him for it#who looooves pushing his buttons#who looooooves seeing how far they can take it#and it's all fun and games and he's blushing and everything when you do it#but he gets you back so good for it. SOOOOO good. oh my god.#ok bye this was my brainrot at the gym today#rated#shotorus.bubble#bnha#katsu
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and i got eyes on the back of my head, i got eyes everywhere so i know where you go
#yrdnzz art#blue lock#blue lock fanart#isagi yoichi#isagi#bllk#artists on tumblr#hey#been a minute.... sorry fazgang#I FEEL LIKE IM ALWAYS APOLOGIZING IN THE TAGS my fault#ill do better mb yall i just graduated this month and ive been just chilling doing fuck all bc ive been artblocked AYE EFF#big thank u to jamie for talking me thru this piece even tho its sooo simple#just having someone to talk to about how i feel abt my art was very helpful bc i was definitely stuck on how to start drawing again#what graduating with a bs in comp sci does to a mf i guess#anyways hope yall like this one LOVE U ALL MWAH
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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get loved idiot
#my art#saiki k#tdlosk#saiki no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki kusou#saiki kusou no psi nan#its been exactly one year since i've started saikiposting... i'm feeling sentimental lol#anyway i feel really proud of how this turned out#1k
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i love this brand of image so much
#streamers locked the hell in crafting the goofiest stuff imaginable#its so funny i love it so much ive spent like a week just looking at these#lordy i need to practice expressions more often though i spent too long figuring out how to translate the look on my face to the drawing#didnt feel like drawing the crafting ui so i took it from a screenshot#bite me bozos i do what i want#Callback. Giggle#n is the only one i feel could pull this off#uzis too good j already has the entire wiki memorized and v just wouldnt try it#cyn would be too busy killing villagers with stone blocks to even care so thats a no go too#too lazy to google what minecraft chicken looks like either deal with it#art#murder drones#murder drones n#serial designation n#i have funnier stuff hopefully lined up i just have to get over my own perfectionism long enough for me to start any of it
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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hough save me gay yaoi
#coming out to my shadowvaniller lovers rn..............i actually also like purecacao it was the first ship i liked when i started playing#and i AM biased towards it no matter how much pv sobs over lily in the game this is MY pretend land#actually i have drawn stuff in my interpretation of pv and wls friendship#its definitely an energy of... doomed lovers never meant to be SNRRKS idk i just feel theyre both very aware of the missed chance they had#so much time has passed yet none at all and theyre ... the same but also so fundamentally different#maybe in another time another life#anyways i shouldnt talk abt this in the tags lmao#cookie run kingdom#crk fanart#fanart#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#white lily cookie#dark cacao cookie#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#my drawbs
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more of the dapper lad! i Cannot get him out of my brain
#i sit down to draw dragons and/or ocs and OOPS my hand slipped its wally#hes so. bites him bites him bites him#but affectionately <3#but also with affectionate intent to maim <3#every time i feel like my feelings about him are starting to level out to a normal baseline....#....i feel a heart squeeze and im back to insanity#welcome home#scribble garnish#wally darling#welcome home wally#welcome home puppet show#also i am once again imaging that he is modeling for sally#this is alternatively titled 'consistency? dont know her'#his hair confuses me so much#no matter how many times i look at references or draw him it still baffles me#which way does it curl? how does it floof? fuck if i know!#yknow before i drew this i set out with the intent to put Other neighbors in schmancy outfits#and then i saw that colorblock shirt. and it all went downhill#its 2 am now.#i spent a solid hour making a fancy background but i scrapped it bc it was Too Much
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I haven't seen anybody post the full Riddle Chain yet (including Silas Birchtree) so here you go :)
I didn't find any of these codes myself by the way! I'm not sure who to credit for the rest of them, but I did get the Silas Birchtree code from @dismissivedestroyer (sorry for tagging you ^_^" if you don't want to be tagged let me know and i can edit the post). You can also get the answer using the code "STOD EHT TCENNOC"
(SPOILERS BELOW)
RIDDLE (would you like to play a game) > YES (what's Mcgucket's favorite soda?) > MOUNTAIN DONT (what's a medieval homonym?) > LYRE LIAR (the 20th ingredient of Anti-Cipherzing Tonic?) > HAROLDS RAMBLINGS (how is clown repellant made?) > UNION MADE (Bill's govt file number?) > 29121239168518 (who comes from Zimtrez 5?) > GREBLEY HEMBERDRECK (what's on Bill's flag?) > 3466554 (what leaves a thin line in the snow?) > TINSEL SNAKE (the 6th option on Bill's editing software?) > TORTURE MENTALLY (name an unpronouncable wizard) > XGQRTHX (where do Tri Angels come from?) > 333SUNDAPPLELANECOZYCREEKIL6071494611 (Bill Cipher's Lawyer?) > CAESARATBASHVIGNERE [or] MULTI LEVEL MARK (who defeated Silas Birchtree--?) > EMMALINE BUTTERNUBBINS (you've earned a treat! enter 'DISPENSE MY TREAT' to download) > DISPENSE MY TREAT
The 'treat' you get is under the cut
"BILL FILES DO NOT OPEN"
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#im not really sure what to tag this haha#does this mean we have all the codes now?#probably not right??#apparently theres this super rare thing you get from using “alex” or “alex hirsch” a bunch of times but i havent gotten it yet#i tried but i accidentally closed the tab and had to start over#also it was just getting really laggy#someone pleeeeaase post the pictures in high quality if you get it#ill be forever in your debt#gravity falls#book of bill#the book of bill#tbob#tbob spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#gravity falls spoilers#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com#bill cipher#i feel bad tagging so much but i want people to see this#silas birchtree#billcipher#bill cypher#no offense but how do you misspell his name its literally everywhere#ok have fun :))#turtle talks#long post#just added the silas birchtree riddle picture to catch attention better dont mind me
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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