#she considers him family after a while. similar to how she does anders

[crows-of-buckets]

Zevwarden friendship is so important to me... I love them so much

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

1: Besides the duo, who else is in relationships?

2: Besides Chris, who is honorable family for the Grayson-Anders?

3: Besides the obvious older Jon Kent, what's one story you could rewrite, reboot, or get rid of?

4: How did Jon get his powers? Same as the comics or is it different? (Forget if I asked this question already)

5: What's the worst nightmare the duo had? Like waking up frightened can't breathe nightmare?

6: Was there a time the duo killed someone?

Sorry it took long to get to this @pin-crusher2000 but Ill try answering it as thoroughly as I could ;-)

1) If we talk about the StarKnights, as of this writing, Jasper Logan has a small budding crush in Mar’i that’s been there ever since the two were little though she doesn’t notice it even after all this time. Jai (like he does canonically at this moment) has a small innocent crush on Maxine Baker, the daughter of Animal Man and the Avatar of the Red. Cerdian might not have a full blown crush on anyone just yet but there’s a tight platonic bond he has with Robert Long. If it does develop in romantic feelings, they’ll kick in sometime when the two are starting high school.

2) As per usual since he’s often close to Chris, Jon Kent is also considered akin to an honorary Grayson of sorts. While not formally taking complete training from Dick, Jon often accompanies Chris when the latter attends another superheroics lesson. In addition, he has a good friendship with Mar’i and is considered an honorary Tomorrow Titan with all his interactions with them and the amount of times he’s step in to help out.

3) Maybe the whole Agent 37 stuff for Dick….yeah for one thing even if he did get captured by an alternate evil version of the Justice League (in this case the Earth 3 Crime Syndicate), for one thing he’s not getting his secret identity revealed to the world and even if he’s force fed a heart paralyzer pill by Lex Luthor to get him off a universe destroying device, he’ll let everyone in the hero community know he’s perfectly a okay and he can resume his Nightwing duties without any issues.

Basically undo that whole silly nonsense of needing to go into hiding as a super duper secret agent and leaving everyone else in the dark about where’s he at until they have to find out themselves cause seriously he didn’t need any of that.

4) Very similar to the comics basically of his powers starting to kick in when he’s around 9-10, starting with enhanced hearing and durability followed up with his heat vision (though he would not accidentally fry the family pet Cat, Goldie cause I admit the way they handled that little plot element in the course of the Rebirth was a bit tacky) then comes in super strength and ability to leap great distances. Afterwards he’d sneeze out his freeze breath before being able to control it. Finally he’ll gain the ability of full flight. Of course these are developments that even in a scenario with Chris Kent present, Lois and Clark were still not entirely prepared for since while Clark and Chris had their powers from basically the onset or at least at a very early age, Jon was a relatively late bloomer. Nonetheless they were able to adjust and help him control said powers.

5) Chris: Easily returning to his life under his broth Father and helping him ruthlessly conquer the Earth, betraying everyone he lives and cares about, culminating with seeing himself as Lor Zod incinerate Dad Clark, his brothers, Jake and finally impaling Thara which gets him snapping awake and screaming in utter terror and tears.

Jake: Similarly simple yet still as haunting, rather than possible scenarios, it’s a full blown flashback to his fateful duel with Victor Zsasz and reliving all those pounding brutal hits with that crowbar and all those painful slashes and stabs with that rusty butcher knife, all over his pinned down self as his family and the kids still alive in their cages all watch. He snaps awake at the vital moment Zsasz lunges his blade right into the appendix region, causing to Jake gasp fully awake while instinctively clutching onto his side where his appendix used to be. Even if it doesn’t actually hurt…he can vividly remember when it did.

6) Despite the numerous close calls and even Jake confronting Zsasz after that particular incident with his emotions rising an all time high, nope the Duo haven’t taken another’s life and they have strong desires to not do so.

[princehendir]

I'm Adrianmode, and I don't think you've talked abt her much on the new blog: PLEASE talk about his demon girlbestie. I love her.

YAYYYYYY Self-interest :) you're right I haven't talked about her yet, that's crazy. Bullet points because I like those. Some fun facts below, organized into a rough timeline:

if you asked her, she would tell you that she's Adrian's childhood best friend. Adrian does not know what the hell she's talking about. She is extremely offended that he doesn't remember his dreams from when he was 10, which is when & where they actually first met.

as far as Adrian's concerned, they've only functionally "known each other" since the family left Lothering, which is when he started acknowledging her as being a discreet Being as opposed to just some vague dream-figure that his brain cooked up. He then also proceeded to ignore her for a whole year after that while he was trying to be a Good Mage who is Not A Maleficar and Doesn't Consort With Demons. That ends when he finally decides that he's more interested in finding out what she can teach him about magic than he is in respectability and making his dad proud of him.

Anyways

Her appearance changes as the game goes on, depending on what it is she wants and what in general is going on, which I know I've mentioned but it's my favorite part of writing her lol. The simplified appearance timeline is that pre-game, she mostly just chooses to present herself like a slightly less sexy default desire demon, and then during that first year in Kirkwall when she's trying to get Adrian to acknowledge her she's mostly trying to mimic the type of girls that he likes to date, because she's used to that getting results, and then after that it gets... Complicated. A couple of times it's commented that she's starting to look a bit like Bethany, but whether that's because she's actually trying to mimic Bethany or if she's trying to look like Adrian-but-a-girl and as a result ends up looking like Bethany is unclear. Definitely, she is trying to look like a Hawke. But in an elf kind of way? It's weird.

Which leads me to something that I haven't talked about much yet:

After she meets Justice for the first time in Night Terrors she gets really obsessed with what him & Anders have going on, and starts trying to talk Adrian into letting her possess him. He turns her down or changes the subject every time she brings it up, like never even considers it, and this becomes a major source of contention in their relationship and also the main aspect of her character arc for the last half of da2. Elaboration in next point.

Basically the thing about her is that it is inherently in her nature to Want Things. That's what she is, a creature that Wants and wants without regard for what is outside of her. And the thing that she wants right now is to crawl inside Adrian's brain and wear his body like a cheap suit, but unfortunately, more specifically, she also wants him to want that too. So she can't directly manipulate him into it, and she can't force the issue either. And it's SO frustrating for her. Because she's never wanted something that she didn't know how to get before, or something that requires inherently the consent and participation of someone else. It's kind of... Destabilizing, for her. It is implied that this internal conflict is altering her nature in some way, similar to how the mage/templar conflict in Kirkwall is altering Justice's.

Also she kind of exclusively refers to Justice as "Vengeance" lol. Unless she thinks he can hear her. She's not suicidal.

Merrill thinks she's really creepy btw. She generally stays out of it, because it's Adrian's business, and he generally stays out of her stuff with Audacity/the Eluvian/etc, but she does make it clear that she doesn't trust this particular spirit, and thinks that Adrian is wayyyyy too intimate with her. Not in a jealousy way, just in a "I'm worried you're in over your head and not taking proper precautions" way.

Self-interest LOVES Merrill though. It thinks she's so neat, and goes out of it's way to encourage Adrian to spend more time with her before they start dating.

(I'm not saying that the possibility of being closer to Merrill is part of what Self-interest finds so appealing about the possibility of possessing Adrian, but I'm not not saying that either)

Primarily though, Self-interest's role in Adrian's life is as a teacher. She teaches him blood magic, she teaches him spirit healing. Things that Adrian's father couldn't or wouldn't teach him. And in the case of healing, tried but gave up on teaching him while he was growing up. It was a big source of conflict in Adrian's relationship with his father that Malcolm felt he was hard/frustrating to teach, that he didn't learn well, that he wasn't a particularly talented mage in general, etc. So the fact that Self-interest is enthusiastic about teaching him, praises him when he does well, and tells him that he has a lot of potential, is a huge part of what is appealing about her to him. Soothes his daddy issues. He's normal.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Life 1 and Party 2 & 4 for any blorbos you feel like

and Party 7 for Liam (i know there’s two different timelines, so both if you want to)

[ask game]

Hi! thank you for the ask <33 Imma go with my Hawkes for this one :]

Life

1.What region in Thedas were they born in? What was their hometown (and their home itself) like?

I'll admit i have not thought about the details of that much because it's just. Not That Important for them all things considered, and i wanna say it was p similar for both of them. Born Maybe near Amaranthine, maybe somewhere else and then moved there early? Then moved to Lothering in their early/mid teens when Bethany's magic manifested. Liam cared more about the move -- he gets attached to places, and change is harder for him to deal with.

Both villages were fairly small with tight-knit communities, and both of them socialised more than they probably should considering their family situation. I always imagine Hawke as a full on farmer country kid, but neither Leandra nor Malcom had any experience with that so i hc they only got one in Lothering, after they'd learned how farms Work lolol. The kids def still grew up around farmers and helping out in the neighbourhood as odd jobs before that though

Party

2. Which companions (or advisors) are they closest friends with? Who do they respect?

Liam - Varric and Fenris are his closest friends, and he and Bethany were very tight as well. Aveline is considered family in his books and she has an almost older sister type of status to him. He got along very well with Isabela too - until she left.

He cares for Merrill a great deal, but it was a bit rocky for a long time bc he'd project onto her after Bethany's death, and while he meant well, he did not notice when he was getting patronising. He eventually realises though, and they grow closer after that.

Lilian - She and Isabela hit it off instantly, and grow close very fast. Same can be said for Merrill, and they're a very tight trio. She gets on very well with Sebastian as well, and is on good terms with Fenris, whom she shares a mutual respect with. Anders she used to have a good deal of respect for, and, in some ways, still has, but it's. Complicated.

4. Are there any companions (or advisors) they don’t get along with? Have any of them ever left the party?

Liam - Sebastian is somebody he Does Not vibe with. They get on okay enough; they hang out with the same gang obviously, so they spend a lot of time together, and they know they have each others backs. But they never did grow super close, because Seb really grates on Liam's nerves, and vice versa. Needless to say, his reaction to sparing Anders did Not help better their relationship.

And speaking of Anders, that relationship was more strained than most of the others. Liam does consider him a friend, and he worried for and cared about Anders as much as the others, but they simply do not mesh well on a personal level. Liam got frustrated with how Anders talked to and about some of their friends, and was uncomfortable with his.. not advances, but the way he'd get so weirdly pissy and jealous about his love life? For a long time that was the main cause of friction between them. Then when Anders does his Secret Plans TM and lies to his face about it, that's what really drives a wedge between them, because it cuts Liam pretty deep to be used like that by someone who he considers a friend.

Lilian - she has a. Very Antagonistic relationship with Aveline. It started out as mutual respect, but once Lilian stopped being passive, they quickly butted heads.

Varric is a friend, but she has a hard time respecting him, and gets frustrated especially towards the later years in Kirkwall due to his refusal to pick a side, or have any proper Opinions or Principles. She gets why he is Like That, but that doesn't change that he needs to stop staying in limbo.

Anders also has a big It's Complicated label again oops. She respects him and his abilities, and they have very similar goals, but as it tends to be among people with visions, the details on that vary greatly, and therefore made them clash quite a bit. She also could not stand his attitude, as much as she sympathised with him, and was very vocal about that. which did Not help ease the tension. For her too his stunt towards the end was what did it, because trust is a Big Thing for her, so him breaking it, especially after uh. the Isabela Incident, was the last straw (heh). There are. Various reasons why she ended up executing him, ranging from anger to understanding to perceived duty.

7. How did their relationship progress? If they’re a canon romance option, is their story different from the way the game presents it?

Liam - The relationship actually progresses the same in both timelines! At least until the breakup lol.

They both make a strong first impression on each other, and while they are initially cautious about the other (mainly bc of the mage thing), they are never outright hostile and actually get on pretty well very early.

I always take Fenris's "you're handsome" comment as the romance initiation lol, in the sense that Liam's reaction was basically "wait, you think so?? 😳" and that's when they established that mutual interest Is There, but they wanted to wait and see how things worked out between them first. So it was a very, Very slow burn, but it was a deliberate slow burn xd

I do shift things around on the timeline a bit bc imo the story beats in the romance don't make sense as they are in canon lol, so the point when they Actually get together is not the same as the breakup, there is some time between that, and then the time between that and them making up is a lot shorter as well. Because there is no way that after years of establishing a close friendship they will just let that go unresolved for years. They also do not immediately get back together as a couple after making up, nor do they plan to. They're really mostly trying to sort things out together, and that is a process. And in general they just. Communicate a lot more than they do in the game hjfsksdf.

The getting back together part is the first time where it splits, cos it hinges on whether Liam stays closed of and Gets Worse or lets himself open up again to Actually Heal after uh. Everything. And that impacts all his relationships, but becomes the most apparent through Fenris imo (and no this is not bc of "he can't be happy without a romantic partner" or bs like that, the romance (or lack thereof) is an effect here, and not a cause). It's important in the way that Liam gives the position of a romantic partner a lot of weight, and without it is missing an anchor and a support, on top of Everything Else. But i am getting sidetracked now jflskds.

N e way, they do stay very close friends regardless, and are important to each other regardless, and they love each other either way.

Obviously it starts diverting more in the postgame era but this is already way longer than planned so imma leave it here x'D

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Fish

For @whump-advent-calendar‘s day 4-6, Burn/Candles

CW: Referenced medical whump and dehumanization, light burn (accidental), captivity, muzzling, drugging reference, reluctant whumper turned caretaker

Introduction | Siren Song | Cries | Here | Not Sure | Draw Blood | Fish | Signs

---

BAHRAM’S NOTES NOTE TO SELF - SAVE IN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. DO NOT LET DR. L SEE.

October 22nd, 20XX 3:45 am Mer in Residence: 19 Days

It’s time to admit I’m more or less keeping a diary at this point as I get to understanding him. So far I’ve written separate notes to myself… for ten or so straight days of the nineteen we’ve had him here, and it’s getting harder to write the official transcriptions the way Dr. L wants me to.

Dr. Lachlan insists I call the mer ‘it’, that it’s to help me distance myself emotionally since it’s such a good mimic of humanity, but I don’t think it’s a damn mimic, I think it’s just… human.

I mean, obviously it’s not HUMAN, but… Miah spelled it out for me, we had an argument about this when he first got here. She gets so angry that he’s getting hurt and you know, I guess I believed Dr. L - mer aren’t my specialty field, I’m a snake man really, I don’t know the first bloody thing about fucking cetaceans. 

Anyway, I said to her at the time, “It’s not human.”

She told me, “Maybe not H-U-M-A-N, but P-E-R-S-O-N,” just like jabbing me in the chest afterward. Also, Miah can fingerspell in a way that really makes you feel like a six year old getting yelled at by your mother, for the record. I can’t describe it any other way. I was ready to just melt away from personal embarrassment before she even finished signing “person.”

That’s not the point of this. 

I didn’t start a diary just to tell myself how right Miah is about all of this, but hey, here we are.

I need some days off so badly.

Miah wasn’t around today, it’s really just been me and the mer - I’m off for four days coming up here, after 20 days of work, and she’s going to come in and do 24-hour watch until I’m back. It’s not so bad - I don’t really know anyone here, and the bed’s comfortable enough. Dr. L’s paying rent on my apartment so I won’t lose it while I’m working, anyway.

I still feel like some low-level henchman, though. Like any moment some asshole in a tank top is going to show up with guns and I’ll just be a faceless evil stepping stone before the boss fight with Dr. L. 

I mean, we all know that Dr. L’s going to be the boss fight, right? Anders would just like lay down or throw Miah in front of himself or something.

No, that’s not fair, he really does love her.

Bahram this is all hypotheticals about a video game. Get back on track, man.

So Miah must have gone shopping or something. She came back with a bag full of these candles from this bookstore she really likes. I mean she came back with an insane amount of books, too, but she had this candle she pulled out and put down on my desk.

She set down the candle - it’s this really nice deep blue and has some kind of like ocean scene painted on the label, like, isn’t that thematic - and smiled at me. “This one reminded me of what we’re doing,” She told me, and her signs were… softer. Her expressions were softer alongside them.

Does that mean… anything? I don’t know. She just put it on my desk and then wandered off. I thanked her but I had to take her shoulder and get her to look at me, first. Maybe her face was a little red.

Maybe not. 

We keep the tank room pretty warm, I’m sort of cold-natured and the mer seems more active when we keep the lights really warm, so… 

I don’t get why she bought me a candle and why she looked away before I could thank her for it. I don’t get it, and I feel like I should, but I don’t. Is she not looking because it wasn’t a big deal, or because it was a big deal, or… what?

I really WOULD sink into the floor if Dr. L or Miah ever saw that I wrote this. Get it together, Bahram. You are not writing a diary about Miah fucking Kirsse. 

It’s been just me and the mer, all day. Dr. L was gone, too, meeting with whoever’s funding this whole thing. She’ll be gone until next week, so there’s no real work getting done, for now. Just blood draws.

She’s showing them its claws she took off. I don’t know why. Honestly, I have such a bad feeling about this, but I needed the cash and nowhere else was hiring for a job that would give me room and board and still time to work on my own research. Not that I’ve done a bit of THAT in a week.

I get too distracted by the mer.

He swims in circles. He stares at nothing, or pokes the plastic coral and ferns we got him, or hides in his cave. I can switch the screens over to watch the camera feed from inside the cave, but he doesn’t do much in there, either. I caught him picking at his scales, and I need to ask Dr. L about that. She took three scales off his tail, which for the record I had nothing to do with (whose record? I’m writing this to myself, and what the fuck does it matter about scales when I’m the one sticking the damn needle in his elbow twice a week), and I caught him sort of whistling sadly and picking at the empty spaces. 

They’ll grow back, Dr. L says. She’s not worried.

I am.

A little.

I’m starting to think Dr. L is lying about a lot of things, and I’m not sure what to do about that. If anything. This is a job, and I get paid better than I’ve ever been paid in my life. So… what do I do?

I could call the hotline and report him. It’s anonymous. 

She’d know I did it.

I don’t know why, but… I don’t want her to know it was me. Cowardice, I guess. Pure bloody cowardice.

But Miah hasn’t emailed the hotline, either. We can’t both be cowards, right?

Anyway.

Tonight was tank cleaning, which is a bloody fucking chore. Anders was around long enough to help me get the mer tranq’d and into the lift and then the rolling tank where he can just sit until I get my work done. Poor thing just lolls around when he’s tranq’d up. Barely blinks. 

Doesn’t stop its fucking crying, though.

We took a lot of blood from him today, too, so he was very weak. Barely moved, just curled himself up small so he was totally in the water and watched me work after Anders left. We’ve got a scrubber machine that does the hard work, I just have to hose some things down and then make sure its filter is still operating correctly. Watch the scrubber. Whole process takes about three hours from start to tank totally refilled, as long as I do it weekly. It’ll take much longer if I let it slide.

Double-checked the camera in the cave, and when I walked out of it I saw the mer’s head was up, watching everything I was doing. He dropped right back down under the water when he saw me looking at him. The muzzle looks so monstrous on him, but more than that, it makes him look like a monster.

Maybe Dr. L doesn’t muzzle him to keep us safe, but to keep me from seeing his expressions while I’m here with him all day.

No, that’s stupid. She doesn’t even think he’s sentient, right?

I finished up, and when I came to roll him back to the lift, I saw he’d popped his head up out of the rolling tank and was looking around the room itself. He hasn’t really looked around at all before this, and he was still tranq’d but maybe I fucked up the dosage? Because he was pretty alert, kind of whistling to himself and giving little chirps and clicks. He sounds like some weird mix of killer whale and fucking otters or something. When he saw me, he flinched back down under the water, but I had this idea.

Dr. L took his claws, and he’s still muzzled except when he’s on the table or when he eats, so like, it’s not like he can hurt me, right?

His eyes had gone to my desk, looking at… I guess all my books and papers and my laptop and everything. Maybe the candle. I waved my hand around until I saw that he was watching me again. With those big eyes it’s hard to tell exactly what he’s looking at, but when I clapped my hands he blinked at me, so I know he can hear it, can see me.

Then - and I swear I’m not lying - he moved himself up out of the water, and put his palms together. His earfins twitched out and back against his scalp, and his white hair dripped water all down his shoulders. 

He cocked his head at me. Then he put his hands together, harder this time. He clapped, and then… he clicked.

I KNEW it. I KNEW clicks were questions. Dr. L said their brains don’t work that way, but I bet they do. Who’s even considered how their brains work? Maybe they’re just like us. All the studying I’ve been doing shows that the scans we’ve done of dead ones are pretty similar in overall size and placement of their center of language. They’ve shown that mer populations have their own dialects if they don’t interact with each other, like the Atlantic transients sound totally different than the Pacific transients, which sound different than the residents that stick close to the coastlines up by Alaska...

Making my own head hurt. I don’t even care about fucking mammals, but I guess I do now. 

“That’s right,” I said when he clapped, not like he can understand but still. I said it, and I clapped again, and he clapped back. “Can you give me your head? I’ll take your muzzle off, yeah? If you don’t bite.”

Dumbest fucking idea ever, but hey. 

I think maybe he knows the word muzzle, because he whistled and shrunk down again, lowering his hands. His ear flaps flattened again. I saw the deep red marks around his neck, from how we have to use the catch-pole to get him out, and I just. I just felt like shit, you know?

I’m shit, that’s what I am, we’re torturing a child, more or less, who hasn’t done a thing to anyone but be by himself because he lost his bloody fucking family. I can’t keep telling myself I’m not the bad guy, you know? 

I’m going to jail if I report him, aren’t I? I helped bring him in, after all. There’s my whole career down the drain.

Is this how it felt when everyone was being shit to monkeys in the 70′s and calling it psychology? Did some of them just go along with it because they thought they had to?

This is not helpful, Bahram.

I sat down at my desk and tried to figure it out. His eyes were on me the whole time. I looked over at Miah’s candle, and looked at the label. Like I said, ocean scene. Fronds and ferns and…

I turned the label to face the mer, and tapped on the image with my finger. “Fish,” I said, feeling dumb as hell. I told myself, it’s a bloody animal, Dr. L would roll around laughing at you for this.

But he came back up out of the water. There was a long moment, and I heard him click, and then a soft, “Sssshhhhhh,” sound came from behind his muzzle. They have lips like ours, although their way of communicating is basically whalesong and relies heavily on underwater acoustics. He’s louder in the tank than out of it, although I guess fear might make him quiet, too.

The recordings I found on youtube they get in the ocean are deafening loud. Their voices travel so well underwater, it’s amazing. People sell fucking CDs with mersong over piano to fall asleep to. 

I poked at the ocean scene on the label again. “Fish,” I said firmly. “Do you want fish?”

He knows fish. 

I KNOW he knows fish because he sat up, held out his right arm, and tapped his elbow with a blunt-edged, broken-off claw before he looked back at me, trembling with fear. He clicked again, twice.

I can’t even tell you how shit I feel, realizing he was asking if I was going to take his blood first. That’s what he meant, it has to be. He poked at the exact spot where he’s bruised up from the needle. 

But it makes sense, right? 

He’s been here twenty days, more or less. Every couple of days, when he’s hungry enough, we bribe him with fish to get the pole on him, take blood or whatever else, and then he eats. 

No, WE don’t take his blood. I take his blood.

He thinks - and he’s fucking thinking, I know he is - that he only eats if we stick a needle in him.

I’m hurting a child.

I’m teaching a child to be hurt.

I’m not religious but this feels like the sort of thing you ask for forgiveness for, doesn’t it? I should call Maman and ask her who I could talk to. I’m going to call Maman or Baba tomorrow.

No I’m not.

What would I tell them I need to speak to someone about?

What if whoever I speak to calls and reports him, and Dr. L knows it was because of me?

I need to stop thinking about this. 

“No, NOT draw blood,” I said, and he whimpered again, held out his arm further, closer to me, tapped his elbow again. I knew he could still hurt me - their strength is prodigious, the first time we got him out of the tank he nearly pulled Dr. L down into the water with him - but I decided it was worth the risk. 

I kept thinking, he’s more scared of me than I am of him, but you know, of course he is. He’s the one with bruises.

I stretched my own arm out and showed it to him. He flinched back a little, and then leaned forward again, sitting in the little rolling tank that’s barely big enough to hold him. His blunt claws touched my arm, delicate as a feather, clicking as he poked at the sleeve of my sweater. 

“No draw blood,” I said. “Just fish. Eat.” I mimed chewing.

He looked at me and clicked twice, cocking his head, then looked at my candle from Miah, pointing at the ocean scene. “Ffff-sshhhh,” he said, muffled. 

“No, that’s a candle, it just has fish painted on it. Candle. Fire. Yes?”

Blank stare. 

Then, repeated, “Ffff-sssshhh.”

I sighed and pulled out my little lighter. I don’t smoke or anything, but I hate the way matches smell, so I have a lighter on me basically all the time. Plus, having lighters was a pretty good way to make friends back in undergrad when I gave a fuck about that. 

I flicked on the lighter, and the mer chirped, curiously. 

Has it never seen fire before?

Why would it, it lives in the ocean. Don’t be a dumbshit, Bahram.

“Fire,” I said, and held it out a little for a closer look. “Fire.” I tilted it and lit the candle, and the mer leaned forward, rapt, as the wick sparked up to flame and I blew the smaller flame on the lighter out. 

“FFfffff,” The mer said, barely audible. It clicked and held out its hand, and I wasn’t fast enough.

“No, wait stop-”

The mer’s fingertips touched the flame and it let out a deafening loud cry of pain and jerked its hand back down into the water, whimpering at the new kind of hurt, looking at me like it was MY fault, and maybe it was. Eyebrows furrowed, little crease in its forehead, big sad eyes. 

The big sad eyes are wrecking me.

“Well, don’t touch fire and you won’t burn,” I said, shaking my head. “No touch fire. Fire bad. Fire burn.”

He held out his hand to show me. “Ffff-rrrrr.” It was a plaintive little breath of air, not quite a real sound. 

The ends of two fingers were a little dark, that’s all. I could explain that by saying he’d hurt himself in the tank, maybe. I shook my head and pointed at the water, and it put its hand back in there, huffing a little breath of relief, I think. The water probably helped with the sting. 

“Right. Fire bad. No fire.”

“Ffff-rrr... buh-ddd.” 

“Right. Fire bad.” I stood up and walked over behind him, and he tried to turn and watch me but I shook my head and pointed back at the candle and he sort of huffed again and looked away. I felt him tense when my fingers touched the back of his head, but he sat still.

Probably because if he struggles when she goes to take the muzzle off or gets her fingers near his mouth, Dr. L has this electricity stick thing… 

I’m not supposed to mention that in the transcripts.

I’m not supposed to mention how he screams, and he doesn’t sound like a whale or an otter, then. He doesn’t sound like an animal.

He sounds like a child.

He IS a child

He’s just

I’m a fucking

No. I need to focus. This is stuff I can’t tell Dr. L, I need to write it down here where it’s safe.

The muzzle is easy to get off, you just need to be looking right at it, and I unbuckled and pulled it free, feeling a little resistance from how well it stuck to his face. Without it on, there are deep red lines along his cheeks and jaw, not open or bleeding, just irritated. 

He didn't grab at me, or bite. Just watched me with his big eyes as I laid it down on my desk. For a second we were both just quiet, looking at each other. 

Then he pointed at the candle again. “Ffff-sssshh.”

“No,” I said. “Candle. Fire.”

The mer’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, echoing what I did earlier. His hair slapped around. His teeth look like shark’s teeth up close, only there’s a lot less of them. “Nnnn-nnnuh,” He tried, shaking his head again.” Nnn-uh. Ffff-sssshhh.” Then he pointed at his mouth, opening wide, showing me the tongue behind his teeth. “Fffff-sssshhh. Ffff-ssshhh.”

I laughed, covering my mouth - he seems to be scared when we show too much teeth, probably in the ocean it’s a threat and they don’t smile like we do. Which, why would they? 

But, see, I realized that he wasn’t pointing at the candle at all, but at the fish painted on it. Then he moved to look at the bucket of fish he gets as a reward for obedience, and pointed at that, then looked back at me to see if I was paying attention.

Of course I was. I was barely fucking breathing. This is signs of abstract thought process, recognizing that the image of a thing isn’t the thing itself. That he can point at it to represent what he wants. “You want fish? Is that it? You’re hungry? Want to eat some fish?”

The mer blinked and made a sound like a chirp, clapped his hands together. “Rrrrr. Fff-sssshhh.” He pointed at his mouth again. “Ffff-ssshhh. Buh-rrrrmm. Ffffsshh.”

“What did you say?” I whispered. My heart went cold. I can’t describe it any other way.

“Buh-rrrrmmmm. Ffff-sssshh, Buh-rrrmm.”

The bloody thing knows my fucking name. 

He knows we have names and he knows mine and that means-... that means he has one, doesn’t it? If he has a name, if he has

I’m his fucking nightmare aren’t I 

I’m the worst fucking thing that could happen to him, me and Miah and Dr. L and Anders and this is a job but it’s the worst thing that’s happened to him and it’s only

It’s going to get worse for him.

He’s going to die here and he’ll know all our names when he does.

Anyway, so... you know... I brought him a bucket of fish.

What else was I supposed to do? 

He knows my name!

He let me put the muzzle on him again without fighting after he finished, and I got him back in the tank once the water was refreshed, and he’s sleeping off his meal now. I can see him on the feed, curled up inside the cave.

But I’m wide awake, so I thought I’d write this, because…

Because what the hell do I do now?

I can’t tell Miah.

Can I?

 ---

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @slaintetowhump @moose-teeth @misspelledwitch @whumpfigure @whumptywhumpdump @boxboysandotherwhump @whumpywhumper

[abandonedcyberpunkspidermech]

Character Bio: Otto Octavius (Doctor Octopus)

Name: Otto Octavius

Villain Alias: Doctor Octopus

Bio:

Every superhero has a nemesis, and for SP//dr, that’s Dr. Otto Octavius, otherwise known as Doctor Octopus, but the man wasn’t always the monstrous villain New York City knows and fears.

Otto Octavius was born on July 10th, 3103, in Schenectady, New York, to factory worker Torbert Octavius and doting (s)mother Mary Lavinia Octavius. Young Otto was not the most liked child in school, facing bullying for his portliness, bashfulness, and intelligence. On this, his parents quarreled. Torbert, the abusive brawler, believed he should fight back, while Mary shielded him from the drunken tirades and wanted him to use his mind to solve problems. Due to Torbert’s abuse, Otto swore never to end up like his father. This came in the form of burying himself in his schoolwork with his mother’s emotional support, which paid off with his admittance to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where he graduated with a Ph. D in Robotics, but not before his father’s death. After graduation, Dr. Octavius began work on what would be his magnum opus: A set of four robotic tentacles, controlled by the human brain through a specialized neural interface. However, this wouldn’t be easy. Robotics, or, more accurately, prosthetics, faced the issue of the human brain’s not being capable of handling more than four limbs. This normally results in brain damage at best and death at worst. If Dr. Octavius could succeed in overcoming this, he would revolutionize the field of robotics. And, for a time, it looked like he would. Even with a nonexistent social life he insists is unneeded, the loss of fiancee Mary Anders to his mother’s rejection, and his mother’s death from a heart attack due to his arguing with her over her dating another man while rejecting his fiancee, he pushed onwards, working to complete his work. Except for one crippling factor.

Enter the Parker family. With Drs. Ben and May Parker as heads and Richard Parker as pilot, the SP//dr project waltzed into the government’s eye. Quickly, the government began funding the project, but such funding came at a cost. Another program would need to be shut down. Just like that, Otto’s robotic arms lost their funding. Try as he did, he failed to find any other source of the funding he needed. And so, with emotions heavy from this and other incidents, he roared at the Parkers for ruining his life’s work and swore vengeance. And then, his arms spoke to him. Filled his mind with ideas. Wonderful, awful ideas. If this project was a threat to him, to them, it needed to go, and what better way to make it go than by eliminating the one and only pilot. And so, Otto struck the SP//dr lab in his first act of villainy. Serendipitously, this proved an excellent opportunity to demonstrate SP//dr’s capabilities. That fateful battle, ending atop Oscorp Tower with a Pulitzer Prize-winning shot, marked the beginning of a long and fateful rivalry between them, with Richard taking on the hero moniker of “SP//dr” and Otto having his old nickname, “Doctor Octopus”, in the Daily Bugle’s headlines. For ten-odd years, Otto and Richard sparred across New York City, and time after time, Richard won. Until he didn’t. In early 3142, Otto won. With a well-placed explosive, he blew up SP//dr with Richard inside. Their rivalry was over at last. Except for one small problem. He had a daughter he could never reach, one who would take his place as SP//dr. But for someone like Doctor Octopus, even with nearly a decade of injuries, making a little girl run away from him screaming and crying couldn’t be easier.

Abilities:

Robotic Tentacles: Doctor Octopus fights using four robotic, neurally controlled tentacles. A specialized neural implant allows Otto to control and feel through them as though they were his own limbs, but this comes with the consequence of neural degradation. Each limb has multiple degrees of freedom, allowing them enormous dexterity. They also have artificial intelligence and a limited degree of autonomy.

Length: These tentacles can be as short as 2 meters or as long as 8 meters each.

Striking Power: Each tentacle can move at a maximum speed of 60 meters per second and strike with ten kilonewtons of force without breaking.

Strength: Even with a need to brace himself using two of his arms, Otto’s tentacles provide him a great deal of strength, with each arm being capable of lifting 15000 kilograms.

Grip Strength: The pincers on the ends of the tentacles have a gripping strength of 3 megapascals.

Intelligence: Otto Octavius is an MIT graduate who majored in robotics. Thus, the man is immensely skilled with robotics, technology, science, and engineering.

Enhancements: Over the years, to counteract his injuries from years of combat, Doctor Octopus enhanced his body to keep pace with the mech (and pilot) he considers an enemy. These include accelerated healing (although nothing like Wolverine or Deadpool), enhanced strength (nowhere near Jessica Jones, never mind Captain America), heightened durability (but nothing close to Luke Cage’s), and limited cybernetics.

Weaknesses:

Previous Injuries: Doctor Octopus’s career as a villain has meant ten years of fighting a lineup of heroes ranging from street level heroes like Jessica Jones, Daredevil, and the Punisher to Avengers such as Captain America and Iron Man, and featuring SP//dr, a cutting-edge combat mech. This translates to years of beatdowns and injuries the old doctor still feels.

Brain Damage: While Doc Ock believes his arms work perfectly, eliminating the issues associated with adding extra limbs, they do not. The arms overwork his brain with every use, warping him into the villain he is today, and will eventually kill him.

Reliance on Arms: The only reason Otto can be a villain is through his arms, as he otherwise lacks the physical ability and fighting skill to fight heroes.

Power Grid:

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 2 (5 with limbs)

Speed: 2 (3 with limbs)

Durability: 1

Energy Projection: 1

Fighting Skills: 4

Appearance/Intro Snippet:

Peni’s spider-sense was pounding at her skull, harder than it ever has.

“So, this is the new SP//dr”, came a voice, male and thick with a German accent.

The voice brought up memories from within them, but Peni couldn’t place them. And then, she could. From the spider and the mech she remembered arguing with him over projects, she remembered fighting with him for nearly a decade, she remembered how he killed…

She turned to face him, stepping back for a better look.

He was easy to see on the roof he was standing on. His eyes were obscured by a set of goggles, and his head was clean-shaven outside a shaggy mop of brown. Everything from the neck down was covered in a dandelion yellow bodysuit with neon blue accents, thick with metal armor over most of the body, but in a few spots thin enough to show the faint lines of his muscles. But more prominent were the arms. Four of them, black as night with neon blue lines like glowing veins, extended from his back like snakes, ending in four-fingered claws.

Oh God… it’s HIM

Her breath hung in her throat, the mech staggering back with uneasy steps. This was Dr. Otto Octavius, the man who killed her father, and here he was, ready to do the same to her.

“Getting rid of you will be quite easy”

The corners of his mouth perked upwards in a smirk. Two of his tentacles struck the roof, and he vaulted off it. As he fell, two claws charged forward, right at her.

Personality:

Otto Octavius is at once a monster and a tragedy. He’s arrogant, prideful to a fault, obsessive, and doesn’t care who or what he has to hurt to achieve his goals, be they scientific or villainous. But, at the same time, he’s alone. His social life is nonexistent, and the only “minds” he has in his life are other villains, who he rarely interacts with, and the arms that drove him to villainy. One might wonder if his life would turn out differently if he had just one lasting, stable relationship; maybe one good shoulder to cry on could change his fate.

Additional Trivia:

Ideal English VA: Steve Blum

Ideal Japanese Seiyuu: Takehito Koyasu

This Doc Ock is meant to be Peni’s big personal arch nemesis. This is because her father’s dead, SOMEONE had to kill him, and the comics simply IGNORE the pile of plotlines that come from this. WHO killed him, do THEY ever fight Peni, does Peni ever break the no-kill rule against him? I mean, the death of a loved one is a fairly integral part of most Spider-Man origin stories, and with how directly correlated it is to being a hero in Peni’s case, her comics just… ignore it. Nay, nay I say.

I know her last comic set up her world’s Nathaniel Essex as setting up her Sinister Six, but I have issues with how that’s presented, and I like my Doc Ock more as the main antagonist.

My design for Doc Ock is based on a blue-ringed octopus’s coloration.

I hadn’t originally planned to make him so similar to Dio Brando (From JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure), but a few leanings might be intentional.

[mageglory]

I have no idea if I have ever summed all my Dragon Age Canon Characters but in short. Oh and I treat Bioware Canon like my playground so be warned.

Galria Theirin nee Brosca: Brosca origins (obviously), two handed reaver berserker. She is the Warden and becomes Queen of Ferelden with Alistair, her romance. She is the first non human queen of an human kingdom in history and tecnically she converted to andrastianism for politics (and because she doesn't care anyway about religion) but the Chantry keeps annoying her until Leli becomes Divine Victoria.

Ignis Hawke: Fire magic, Force magic and Blood Magic. He follows Anders romance and is a ruthless supporter of Mage RightsTM. He keeps switching between Red Hawke or Blue Hawke answers depending on who he is talking to (Red Hawke with Meredith, Elthina, Orlesians. Blue Hawke with fereldeans refugees, mages, elves and similar). He is one of the leaders of the Mage Underground with Anders if not the leader (mainly because Anders keeps telling him he's the boss even if Ignis considers himself equal to him) and he helped enlarge the underground across all the Free Marches, a lot of the random apostate npc we fight on the wounded coast are gonna live as members of the underground. To protect his identity/keep his family safe from Templars and because Hawke is not Hawke without drama he wears a mask in his rebel persona and Meredith has been yelling to Cullen to bring her the apostates leader in chains for years. He doesn't want to hurt civilians, but he is ready to accept civilians casualties as necessary if it's to free his people. His mabari is called Templar and Varric keeps saying Ignis exausted all his life capacity for jokes in that one idea. He's the gayest revolutionary/terrorist (depends who you ask) in town.

Raphaël De Bougainville: The Marquis of Serault. He has an obviously smaller role and is kinda irrelevant to The Fate of ThedasTM but he is a good guy despite having a very orlesian centric view of the world out of ignorance/cultural upbringing. His main worries are to restore Serault glory, which he succeeded in (and he also annexxes Aloyns along the road since the neighboor Marquis tried to sabotage his relationship with Justinia and failed) and romance Krem while visiting Skyhold. He had the idea to pay some mages after the rebellion won to come work for him with the glassworkers and now there are a lot of Serault glassworks for nobles with sparkly enchantments, but nothing plot relevant, he's just rich because now every noble in Orlais wants Serault magical glass. His main quirk is that he's an enthusiast of scientific research (think the king guy in Eragon) and his dream is to teach at the University of Orlais.

Melkior Lavellan: This damn boi is a pacifist. IN THEDAS. He is not the First of his clan, but only because he left the position to travel around the clans and bring messages/organize things. I'm not sure if canon mentions something similar but he's basically a travelling Keeper, so he has a bit more knowledge of the world, especially thanks to his high emotional intelligence. Kind of guy who smiles even when he doesn't like you and the "if he yells shit is going down" character archetype. Clan Lavellan Keeper is his grandma because his parents were murdered by Gaspard De Chalons during a dalish hunt, in front of him. Gaspard would have killed him too but decided that a knife eared kid wasn't worthy of a chevalier steel. Years later, Gaspard will fail to recognize Melkior at the Winter Palace (because elves are all the same amiright? I doubt Gaspard remembers his victims faces) and that's how the Granduke died and also one of the two occasions in which Melkior got really angry. Also, Melkior is the host to a spirit of Hope, which made the entire Inquisition scream in fear of abominations when they heard about that. Melkior romances Cassandra (altought I made her supposed character arc/change matter uh Bioware?) and tries to spare/redeem/imprison if necessary as much people as possible when sitting in Judgment because he doesn't like to kill and he does that enough on the field. At the end of Trespasser he disbands the Inquisition but he also creates a constitution that blocks the power of the Chantry so that in 100 years no Divine will be able to recreate Circles or Templars and a council to oversee the constitution with elected officials with a mandate of 5 years max.

Alidda Tabris: Someone could ask why I put the Tabris after the Lavellan, well that's because Alidda Tabris, my non warden dual wielder rougue, is more linked to Briala than Origins. She was prisoner of Arle Howe dungeons with others during Origins, forgotten there after having murdered the Arle son. She was freed by the Warden before the Landsmeet and despite the long imprisonment she suffered she fought in the Battle of Denerim, defending the alienage. After the death of the Archdemon, she helped King Alistair and Queen Galria in dealing with the many issues the elves had and was later sended to Orlais to investigate the risk of a new invasion of Ferelden. She joined Briala during the events of The Masked Empire, helping Celene in beating Gaspard but hating the Empress for her genocide of elves, she was helping only because forced to choose between her and Gaspard. She joined Briala at the end of the book and the two got together shortly after. In Inquisition, Alidda breaks in Celene vault during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearths to get her beloved medallion back and the two keep plotting the liberation of the Dales after the ball.

Livia Amladaris: Magister of Tevinter, new leader of House Amladaris, descendeant of Corypheus and the worst person ever and I love her for that. Livia is literally my favourite classic villain tropes throwed together, because if you don't do that in Tevinter what's the point. While Livia wasn't a Venatori during Inquisition, she took control of the movement later. She is considered the most beautiful woman in the Imperium by many (the Amladaris pratic eugenics unironically) and she is a political genious and probably the greatest demonologist and necromancer (the Quentin kind, not the Dorian kind) Tevinter will ever see. Sadly, all this perfection on paper was given to a woman who respects only one thing: power and hates the other Magisters because they are limited in their ambitions. Livia intends to not simply enter in the Fade like her ancestor, but to open thousands of minor rifts controlled only by her, causing an army of binded demons to invade every nation of Thedas at once. The Imperium will rise again with her as the first Imperatrix of all Thedas. Someone could call her mad, but if she is mad then she is of the lucid and most dangerous kind. She has invented numerous evil spells (the "blood sacrifices and demons" kind) and has the power to turn others in abominations against their will. She is at last defeated at the end of DA4, but not before she blood sacrificed all of her supporters inside the Imperial Senate to start her ritual and shapeshifted into a giant monster before being slain. She is the Maleficent of Thedas and I love a good old fashioned evil witch ok?

[malcyon]

That March Night

Summary: “You gonna call me that the whole time?”

Roy laughs lightly, “What? Jaybird? Don’t like it?”

Jason quickly shakes his head. “No, no, I . . . It’s fine. I like it.”

*****

Roy goes to the Wayne Manor to talk (yell) about Oliver to Dick. He doesn't expect to end up talking to Jason instead.

Read on AO3

___________________________________________

Roy ignores the sting of Gotham’s winter biting his nose as he walks up the front steps of the Wayne Manor, the snow crunching behind him as his cab drives away. He shivers and looks up.

Wayne Manor is nothing like home. It sits elegantly on top of a low hill, almost like a palace, unafraid of what the city only a couple of miles away could do to it. The Queen Mansion isn’t like that at all. Vast gardens and tall trees practically hide it from view, allowing a sense of secrecy. Roy used to spend hours following Oliver around in those trees, trying to line up the perfect shot with a toy bow and arrow as his mentor pretended not to notice him on the ground below and—

No, he’s not going to think about Ollie. Roy whips his gaze forward, jaw tightening.

The Manor is nothing like home, and he’s never been so thankful for that as he is now.

He climbs the steps and punches the ridiculously ornate doorbell with a freezing finger. Then he waits, breath frosting in the air, wishing he’d grabbed an actual jacket when he’d stormed out and zeta-beamed over.

How the hell could a city be so cold in fucking March?

One of the doors opens, and Alfred raises an eyebrow as Roy rushes in, leaving trails of mush behind him. “Sorry,” he manages, trying to rub some feeling back into his hands. The butler looks him over, taking in the rumpled sweatshirt, jeans, and snowy boots before shaking his head with something that isn’t quite exasperation but isn’t quite amusement either.

“Master Richard isn’t at the house at this time, Mr. Harper.”

Shit. Of course, the asshole isn’t here yet; it’s not like Dick promised he would be or anything when Roy had called only ten fucking minutes ago.

He’s about to mutter out some excuse to leave; maybe apologize for the slush on the carpet too, since Alfred lays a firm hand on his shoulder in the way that usually precedes a scolding. He tenses with the contact, but then the old man says, “However, perhaps you would like something to drink?”

Oh.

Roy doesn't know how to respond to that, can only nod as Alfred smiles at him with a fondness that he hasn’t seen from anyone in a while. The butler drops his hand and begins to lead the way to the kitchen, even though Roy’s been in the house plenty of times before to know exactly where it is. Roy follows cautiously, praying that he isn’t leaving a trail of snowy footprints in his wake.

After several seconds of silence, Alfred gives him a knowing side-eye, finally asking, “May I ask what brought you here tonight?”

Roy looks down at his muddy boots. “Just another stupid fight. Nothing new.”

Because there isn’t any point lying to Alfred; the man knows him too well by now. And it was a stupid fight: Oliver going on about recklessness when he’s hardly even there to see if Roy’s being an idiot. A fact that Roy was all too glad making known. And, like usual, it escalated, voices rising until he stomped out as Oliver yelled after him.

Calling Dick had been an impulse decision. Because usually he’d go to Donna, whine as she kissed his wounds before telling him that he was an idiot and to go fix his damn problems like an adult. Like any of their eighteen-year-old asses can be considered adults. Like any of them actually know what they're doing.

But he doesn’t want his girlfriend’s logic and sensibility. He wants to rant to somebody who can understand, and who else is better for that than Dick “Daddy Issues” Grayson. Dick, who’s been visiting the Manor daily while the Big Bad Bat is off-world on some mission.

Except Dick isn’t here.

Fantastic.

Alfred gives him a forlorn look, dragging Roy back into the present.

“Arguments can tear families apart, Mr. Harper. I’ve seen it happen here. I’d rather not see it happen to you.”

The way he says that makes something ache in Roy’s chest, so he glances away and mutters, “Do you know when Dick is gonna be back?”

The butler doesn’t seem ruffled by Roy’s callous change in topic, not that he's ruffled by much, and continues walking calmly. “He was out visiting Ms. Anders in New York, I believe.” Fuck, he’s going to be waiting forever if Dick is with Kory. “However, he said that he would be back tonight to spar with Master Jason.”

Roy nearly skips a step.

He hadn’t even thought about Jason being here. Not that it’s a bad thing it’s just . . . He hadn’t even thought about it.

They aren’t too close, had held mindless conversations whenever Dick had brought the Boy Wonder up to the Titans’ Tower, sparred together a few times. The kid’s talented definitely, but from what Roy’s seen, there’s a heaviness on Jason’s shoulders that the former Robin had never had. Something rough around the edges. Eyes little too sharp and hits that can land a little too hard. Hell, Dick had mentioned before that Jason tends to “use excessive force” on criminals and is less forgiving than any of Batman’s other partners.

But Roy likes him. Jason is smart, quick with puzzles and even quicker with words. And, despite the cocky attitude he puts on, there’s a shyness that appears whenever any of the Titans talks to him.

It’s kinda cute, really.

Alfred turns into the kitchen, and Roy lets himself stop in the doorway to soak up the warmth of the room. He closes his eyes and rests his head on the doorframe, hears Alfred shuffle through the cabinets. He takes in a shaky breath and the world fades away.

God, he’s tired.

He must have dozed off against the doorframe because it’s the sound of chopping that makes him blink back to life. Alfred is standing by the counter, a small pile of chocolate pieces collecting on his cutting board as he goes through a massive slab of the stuff. Roy starts, “Oh, you don’t have to—”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Harper. Hot chocolate is the best remedy for a cold night, and, besides, I was feeling rather chilly myself earlier.”

Roy’s throat tightens. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Please have a seat.”

He hesitates, then moves to the kitchen island and pulls out one of the stools from beneath it, sitting quietly. Alfred finishes cutting, puts the pieces into a double boiler on the stove, and cranks up the heat. Roy watches and tries not to fall asleep again as the scent of melting chocolate fills the air. Alfred hums from around the sink, and, screw it, Roy lets himself bury his head in his arms and shut his eyes.

The butler can shake him awake later.

Then he hears the sound of padded footsteps, followed by, “Hey, Alf, Bruce just called; he has some new information for you to put into—oh.” Roy turns around in his seat to see Jason, clad in flannel pajama pants and a Wonder Woman sweatshirt.

Roy’s mouth quirks with a smile.

Jason stares at him with big eyes, suddenly seeming very unsure and out of his depth. “Am I—uh, interrupting anything, or . . . ?”

Alfred shakes his head as he dries his hands with a dishtowel. “Not at all, Master Jason. What is it?”

Jason looks away from him, putting his hands in his pockets. Roy watches the kid bite his lip and shift his weight from foot to foot as if neither are comfortable to settle on. “Bruce has a couple of files on the Falcone case he wants you to sort through. But since you’re busy, I can take care of it.”

“There’s no need, I’ll do that if you finish with the hot chocolate here.” Roy isn't sure, but there’s almost a smugness to Alfred’s words.

Jason freezes, and his eyes flick to him—almost too quick for Roy to catch it—before going back to the old man. “I . . . Yeah, okay. The files are by the Computer, next to that stuff about Scarecrow’s new toxin.” Alfred dips his head and walks out, steps crisp on the hardwood, and Roy swears that he sees the tiniest curl of a smile on the butler’s lips.

Roy stares after him because he must have missed an inside joke or something—

Jason clears his throat, once again shifting on his feet as Roy’s eyes snap back to him. He tilts his head, brow furrowing. Was Jason that tall the last time Roy saw him? Jesus, the kid is already nearly Dick’s height, at this rate, he’ll probably be taller than Roy.

And bigger too. Jason is solid, certainly not as flexible or as fast as his adopted brother, but will make up for it in brute strength. It’s a little strange how similar the two look, but up close, the differences are obvious. Besides build, Jason is paler than Dick’s racially toned skin, making the blush on his cheeks stand out a hell of a lot more now that Roy’s noticing it. He frowns.

“You okay, kid? You seem a little flushed, don’t have a fever, do you?” He stands, walking over to Jason and pressing a hand to the boy’s forehead in concern, something Donna always does whenever somebody is feeling sick.

God, next he’ll be mother-henning over the kid.

But before he can move his hand away, Jason takes a quick step back, looking even pinker. “I’m fine, thanks. Just gonna grab the milk.” He darts past Roy, shoulders stiff. Roy blinks, but only shrugs and sits back down at the counter because okay then. Jason keeps his back to him as he pours the milk into the chocolate mixture, the tension in his body making Roy’s muscles ache.

The silence begins to tick by. Roy's fingers start to tap on the counter.

Should he talk? He feels like he should talk. Roy racks his brain, trying to remember anything Dick had said about the kid.

He mentioned getting books for Jason around Christmas, classic novels. Roy has never been a big fan of those, he prefers non-fiction and instruction manuals, facts. Like that stuff on engineering Ollie had given him for his birthday last year—

No, he can’t think about Oliver right now. He won’t. And he shoves those memories down, down, down, until he can pretend they never happened.

It takes a few seconds before Roy realizes that he’s been clenching his fist so hard his fingernails have left sharp, angry indents in his palm. He forces himself to lay his hands flat on the counter. Takes a breath.

Fuck, he needs a vacation from this shit.

He looks up, just as Jason turns around. The red is gone from his face, replaced with a relaxed focus as he walks from cabinet to cabinet, finding and throwing different spices into the pot. He doesn’t even need to stop and read the labels; just knows exactly what he’s doing. Roy watches, a little mesmerized by the surety of Jason’s movements. By the kid’s soft expression and the slight furrow of his brows as he concentrates.

Roy almost regrets it when he interrupts the other boy’s tranquility by asking, “Do you like to cook?”

Jason freezes, hand hovering over the hot chocolate, and, yeah, Roy should have kept his mouth closed going by the sudden nervousness on Jason’s face. Like Roy is going to make fun of him. Finally, the kid says, “Uh . . . Yeah, when I get the chance.”

Jason doesn’t continue, which should probably be Roy’s cue to just shut up, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to sit in awkward silence until Dick gets here.

“Why?” He’s honestly a bit curious. Jason doesn’t seem the type to spend time in the kitchen, and Dick sure as hell barely steps into one.

The kid stares at him cautiously, as if he’s waiting for Roy to insult him. Roy leans forward, propping his head up with a fist and putting an interested smile on his face. Jason looks away, tips of his ears pink. Slowly, he says, “We never had a lot of food when I was a kid, so . . . I don’t know, It’s nice getting to create something and then give it to other people to make them happy. Feels good.” Jason wrinkles his nose. “That sounds dumb.”

Roy chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s not dumb, it’s. . . It’s kinda cool, actually.”

Jason blinks, and then his face breaks into a smile. It’s a nice smile, one that Roy hasn’t seen before. “Plus, it’s funny to watch Dick try and help when all he can do is set water on fire.” He snickers and Jason cocks his head, brows coming together. “I have no idea when he’s gonna be back if you need to talk to him.”

Roy shrugs, suddenly not minding his friend’s absence as much. “He was with Kory last I heard,” he says, and Jason makes a face.

“You might be here for a while then.”

He snorts, and that nice smile appears on Jason’s lips again. “Yeah, they’re disgusting.”

Jason nods in agreement, then frowns. “What did you need to talk about anyway?” Roy freezes, reality dousing him like ice water. The kid stills, eyes darting down as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“No, no, it’s okay. Not like it’s a big secret or anything,” Roy mutters, running a hand through his hair. Maybe he should grow it out; perhaps that would get Oliver’s attention. “Ollie and I had a fight, needed to rant about it to somebody.”

He looks up at the ceiling, feeling the familiar bitterness rise in his chest. God, maybe he should leave, go to Dinah’s place, fuck waiting for Dick—

“You can rant to me if you want.” Roy blinks, and Jason looks away, almost managing to shrug like he couldn’t care less. But there’s an honest sincerity when the kid murmurs, “I—uh—I know I’m not Dick or any of your other teammates, but I’ll listen. If you ever want to talk or anything . . .”

Roy goes still, gazing at the other boy silently.

He isn't the type to 'talk' about his feelings, and if he ever does, it's after downing copious amounts of alcohol.

The team knows that, knows not to bring up Oliver when Roy stomps into the tower eyes blazing. Knows to just let Donna speak to him before approaching. Knows, if Donna's not there, to let Dick or Wally or even Garth follow him into the gym and spar with him for hours just so he doesn't have to talk about it.

Even then, it took years for him to fully open up to the original team. And as of now, Roy would rather stew in anger than share his emotions with Kory or Raven or Vic or, God forbid, Gar. He knows it's not fair to keep himself so locked up when they've practically laid out their darkest secrets to the whole team, but he just can't do it. But now there's Jason.

Jason, who he hardly knows, with his too-big sweatshirt and clever mouth and, before he can think about it, Roy's talking.

“Well, then. Buckle up, Jaybird. You ready to talk shit about father figures?”

Jason stares at him for a second, long enough for Roy to start believing that he’ll back out, but then a smile creeps across his face. “You gonna call me that the whole time?”

Roy laughs lightly, “What? Jaybird? Don’t like it?”

Jason quickly shakes his head. “No, no, I . . . It’s fine. I like it.”

The kid takes two mugs from a cabinet and pours them both some hot chocolate. Roy watches curiously as he then grabs some whipped cream from the fridge, topping off the drinks along with a bit of cinnamon.

“So, Harper—“ Jason slides Roy a cup and rests his elbows on the kitchen island, leaning towards him. His eyes are either green or blue, Roy can’t figure out which—“let’s talk shit.”

Roy smiles and takes a sip from his mug. The chocolate and spices dance through his mouth, and he can feel himself relax for the first time in God knows how long. The glow of the kitchen seeps through his skin, and his throat tightens. This is what a home should be like.

Jason watches him, waiting patiently. Roy takes a breath and begins.

It starts with Oliver, his needling over Roy’s every mistake before taking off again for a meeting or a mission or anywhere where Roy can’t go. They don’t even talk that much anymore, not that they did before, but still. Roy must have messed up, did something wrong that made Oliver disappointed enough that he doesn’t want to be around him.

Saying that out loud stings, or maybe it burns, deep in his chest.

Because what did he do wrong? Dinah hasn’t said anything, but she’s been busy lately with the League, and he hasn’t gotten to actually see her in weeks. And Hal had popped in not too long ago, but the Green Lantern couldn't exactly hang around to go on patrol and listen to Roy's concerns. Still, Roy's sure that somebody would call him out if he had really fucked up. Not Oliver, but somebody.

Somebody has to care, right?

Jason is a good listener, doesn’t interrupt once, only watches him with eyes that get it. He lets Roy curse and ramble, and by the end, Roy’s shoulders feel lighter than air. He’s even grinning as Jason snorts at his impression of Oliver’s ‘You should so definitely be disappointed in yourself even though I did that exact same dumbass thing less than a minute ago’ speech.

He finishes with several obscene hand gestures that make Jason snicker and then slumps back into his seat, taking a deep sip from his mug. Jason hums from across the counter, rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes, and Roy frowns.

Being Oliver’s partner can suck sometimes, but at least he’s not Batman. Gotham is one fucked up piece of work, and it takes a certain kind of crazy to be able to live there and not go insane. Bruce has seen a lot of shit, everyone who picks up the mask has, but sometimes Roy can’t help but wonder what it was that made the man so hard on his sons.

The logical part of Roy’s brain reminds him that it's because he cares.

Dick would probably punch that part of him in the face.

And Bruce’s standards were high even when Dick was Robin. But Jason isn’t Dick, hell, Roy can see that, and he hardly knows the kid. And even he’s noticing how Jason is fraying at the edges; how sometimes his smiles don’t seem to reach his eyes.

Maybe Roy isn’t the only one who needs to be asked if he’s okay.

He opens his mouth to do just that, but Jason interrupts him with an easy grin and says, “So, besides yelling at Oliver, what else do you like to do?”

The question Roy’s about to ask is pushed aside, and he blinks in surprise, trying to come up with an answer. “Uh. I’ve been working on these designs for some new trick arrows, they—”

Jason glances up from where he’d been tracing mindless patterns on the counter. There’s a spark of curiosity in his teal eyes, and whatever Roy was saying turns to puffs of smoke in his brain. “You create that stuff? Like, you build weapons and shit?” He nods, a little taken aback because nobody’s really asked him about this before. Jason grins at him, wide and beaming. “That is so cool.”

Roy shrugs, attempting to ignore the heat spreading across the back of his neck. He rubs at it, trying and failing to look away from the genuine interest on Jason’s face. “Yeah, uh, I like making stuff. I’m working on this sonic arrow right now, trying to mimic Dinah’s scream. But I can’t quite get the sound waves to resonate from the shaft the right way and—“

It’s obvious that the kid doesn’t wholly understand what Roy is talking about. Still, he interrupts to ask questions and actually seems interested in what Roy’s saying. Not just nodding and zoning out like most people do, and seriously why Dick doesn’t hang out with Jason more instead of sulking around the Tower.

Sulking might be a bit too harsh, but still.

Jason has just finished muttering about Bruce’s stupid double standards on saying names in the field when Roy’s phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out and flashes the screen to Jason, who only rolls his eyes when he sees the caller. Roy hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Okay, I know I’ve left you hanging at the Manor for over ten minutes, but—”

“Twenty-five, actually.”

“But I’m going to be there in twenty so—”

“So, you’ve actually left me here for forty-five minutes.”

There are several seconds of silence as Dick goes quiet. Jason raises his brows, and Roy shrugs in response, an amused grin spreading across his face. Dick sighs, low and nearly annoyed. “Kory and I had a fight.”

The grin slides away, and Roy straightens up. “Again? Shit, man.”

“Yeah. ” he trails off then continues, “You tell me about Oliver and I tell you about this? I know where the key to Bruce’s liquor cabinet is; we can get drunk.”

Roy hesitates. He isn’t angry anymore, just . . . Happy might not be the right word, but with the taste of chocolate on his tongue and the sight of Jason playing with the strings of his Wonder Woman sweatshirt in front of him . . . It’s the only thing that explains the weird warmth in his chest. Plus, getting wasted to deal with Oliver's shitty parenting skills won't be worth the hangover in the morning. He shrugs even though Dick can't see him.

“Actually, I’ve been talking to Jason about it.”

The other boy’s head shoots up, eyes wide, and Roy hears Dick from the other end go, “Jason?”

He smiles and flicks a piece of leftover chocolate at the kid, who scrunches up his nose in response. “Yeah, he and Alfred made some hot chocolate too, if you want. Probably the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” Jason rubs the back of his head at that, cheeks turning pink.

There’s a small laugh from over the phone. “They . . . Yeah, that sounds really nice, actually.”

“Alright, see you in twenty.”

“See you.” Roy hangs up, tucks his phone in his back pocket as Jason rubs his thumb self-consciously on the counter. Neither of them say anything for a moment, an almost comfortable silence settling between them.

Jason looks down at his socks.

“Do you think . . .” His voice grows quiet, and Roy sets his hot chocolate on the island, a bad feeling growing in his stomach at the kid’s tone. Jason doesn’t continue; only keeps staring at his feet.

Roy’s fingers begin to tap against the counter anxiously.

"Yeah, Jaybird?”

Jason looks up at the nickname, that ever-present blush appearing on his cheeks again. It takes more willpower than Roy wants to admit to focus on what the boy says next instead of staring at his eyes.

“Do you think that Bruce will . . . make me quit being Robin?”

Roy blinks.

The fuck?

“I’m sorry, what? Why the hell would he do that?” Jason winces, and Roy immediately quiets and clenches his fists instead. He tries his best to push the initial what the fuck tone out of his voice as he continues lowly, “Jay, where did that thought come from?”

Jason swallows, shoulders hunching like he wants to disappear into the floorboards. “Forget it. It’s nothing.”

“Fuck that.” Roy walks around the island and leans against the wall opposite of Jason, eyes beginning to flash. “What made you think he’d do that?” The kid doesn’t answer, and Roy’s gaze narrows. “Did Bruce say something? I swear to God, he was such an asshole with the whole falling out thing with Dick I wouldn’t be surprised if he—”

“He doesn’t trust me! The guy fell, I didn't—”

Jason stops, his outburst echoing on the kitchen walls.

Roy stills and his brow furrows in confusion. Jason is looking down again, his face is pale like he’s about to collapse. Roy takes a step forward. “Jay?”

The other boy doesn’t move; only takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I know that I fuck up sometimes, alright. I know that. I know that Bruce doesn’t trust me like he trusted Dick, and that’s okay, I get it.”  

No, it is most certainly not okay.

“And he was already always fuckin' telling me, ‘I expect more from you,' and ‘Don’t hit that hard, Robin,’ and I’m trying and he doesn’t care, because I won’t ever be good enough for him. And I know that. But I never thought—” Roy’s mouth goes very dry as he notices that Jason is actually shaking, trying to keep it together. He's about to reach out when Jason takes a quick breath and continues, “Never thought that he’d think I would—”

The kid cuts himself off again, turning away and biting his thumb. Roy moves on instinct to put a hand on his shoulder, make Jason face him. It takes everything to not punch the wall behind him when he finally fully sees Jason's expression.

He looks broken. Gaze darting over Roy's face and muscles rigid as stone, palm pressed against his mouth like he's trying to hold in the words.

Roy rests both of his hands on Jason’s shoulders and squeezes him gently. “What happened, Jay?”

Jason stares up at him, eyes desperate. “You have to believe me, Roy. You have to. I—There was this dealer the other night, okay? B and I had been tracking him for a while and, shit, we even walked in on him hurting this girl. Kept bringing him to the cops, but they didn’t do anything. Said there wasn’t enough evidence or some kind of bullshit like that.

“So I—I went to his apartment,” Jason whispers, teeth grinding together. “Was hopin’ to find something on him while Bruce was busy with the police. And I saw him, just—drinking liquor on his damn balcony like he hadn’t done anything wrong. And I was so angry, but, Roy, I wouldn’t—The guy fell, I . . .” Jason stops, breaks out of Roy’s gentle grip and presses his lips firmly together.

“Jaybird, Jason, I believe you,” Roy tells him softly. “I believe you, I swear.”

Jason shakes his head sourly. “Bruce doesn’t. He thinks I pushed—” He shuts his eyes tightly—“I wouldn’t. I told him that. I told him, but he benched me. He actually thinks that I—”

Roy is moving before he can even think about it, pulling Jason against his chest and letting the boy rest his forehead against the crook of Roy’s shoulder. Jason isn’t even crying, just shaking, still holding his hand up to his mouth as Roy murmurs into his hair, “Hey, hey. I got you, okay? I got you.”

Jason grips his sweatshirt, breathes against Roy’s neck. “I haven’t told Dick. I don’t want him to look at me like . . . Like Bruce did. Don’t want to disappoint him too.”

Something inside Roy breaks, and he pulls away, makes sure that Jason is looking him in the eyes. “Hey, you are not a disappointment.”

Jason laughs, weak and bitter, “That’s bullshit, and you know it, Harper.” His eyes suddenly spark, and Roy almost takes a step back. “Besides, what the fuck do you know? You’re a damn Titan, you’re not . . .”

A suffocating silence fills the room, heavy and rotten.

The back of Roy's throat burns when he manages, “What do I know? You’ve been listening to me for the past half hour, right?”

Jason freezes, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I—Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Jason.” The kid looks up at him, face flushed and eyes red. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I . . .”

“Hey.” Roy places his hands back on the kid’s shoulders. “I said it’s okay, didn’t I?” Jason stares at him for a moment before hesitantly nodding.  

Roy drops his hands and hops up on to one of the bar stools, leaning over to grab his mug across the island. He takes a deep swig like he’s drinking vodka instead of hot cocoa, and runs through the words in his head.

Jason watches him incredulously. Roy sighs.

“Alright, I’m only saying this once, so pay attention.” He holds up a finger. “Bruce is an asshole. He’s an asshole who thinks he’s always right and who would probably rather dive off of the Wayne Tower instead of talk about his feelings. He’s also an asshole who loves you.” Jason snorts, and Roy shakes his head. “No, I'm serious. You’re his son; even if you think you’re just a replacement for Dick, you’re his son, Jay.”

“But Dick is—”

“You’re not Dick.”

That shuts the kid up, makes him blink up at Roy like he isn’t seeing him quite right. Roy shrugs, feeling a little self-conscious under Jason’s stare. “Well, you’re not. You’re nothing like him, and that’s completely fine. Great even.” Roy thinks of Dick’s ever-charming smile and his ability to sweep anyone off their feet in a matter of seconds. He shakes his head. “Honestly, the world only needs one Dick Grayson anyway.”

He grins, sliding off the stool to ruffle Jason’s hair. “Besides, I think you’re pretty awesome. And the rest of the team does, too. You’re smart and good in a fight. You even helped us solve that Zandia case the other day; we would have been stuck for hours if you hadn’t worked on that. Those people would be dead right now if you weren’t there, Jaybird."

He nudges Jason with his arm, eyes crinkling with a smile. “So what if you disappoint Bruce? You’ve got us now. And if the others don't want you, then, hell, I do. So there,” Roy finishes, beaming broadly while Jason stares at him, mouth parted and eyes round. That blush is back, going all the way up to the kid’s ears and making the blue-green of his irises stand out even more.

After several seconds of silence, Roy cocks his head uncertainly. “You . . . uh, good there, Jay?”

Jason starts, shaking his head like he’s clearing out cobwebs. “Um . . . Yeah, yeah, sorry. I just wasn’t expecting . . . that.”

Roy laughs, rubbing the back of his neck while shrugging awkwardly. God, he’s not good with emotions. “Hey, any of the others would have said the same.”

"No, they wouldn’t, but . . . Thank you, for that, it . . .” Jason's voice tapers off and he's still staring at Roy as if he'd just found the answer to an extremely complicated case.

Roy shrugs again. “Hey, you just listened to me rant about Oliver for the last half hour, the least I can do is—”

He isn’t expecting it.

Isn’t expecting Jason to step forward, one of his hands curling into the fabric of Roy’s sweatshirt while the other cups his cheek. Isn’t expecting him to hesitate just for a second, eyes darting from Roy’s wide stare to his lips before leaning in. Isn’t expecting Jason to press his mouth against his, kissing him in a way that’s gentle and warm and surprisingly soft.

He certainly isn’t expecting himself to kiss back.

His hands bunch into Jason’s dumb Wonder Woman shirt, drawing him closer. The other boy’s mouth parts with a gasp and a shiver and Roy can taste the cinnamon at the corners of Jason’s lips. He instinctively reaches up to grip black curls and Jason isn't that bad of a kisser, uncertain, maybe, but he's getting the hang of it; letting Roy take control and tilting his head just the right way so that Roy can—

Jason moves forwards, making Roy stumble back into the kitchen island, Jason falling against his chest. And Jason laughs into him, quiet and breathless, before crushing their mouths together. The boy rests his arms over Roy's shoulders, fingers tangling in his hair as Roy smooths his palms along Jason’s waist, feeling him shudder again under his touch.

He brushes his tongue against Jason’s mouth, and Jason opens for him immediately; the taste of hot chocolate becoming strong enough that Roy is sure he could get drunk off of it alone. Jason makes another noise, something between a sigh and a moan and—

—And he’s kissing Dick’s little brother. Dick’s fifteen-year-old brother. Dick, who is going to be here any second and will actually kill him if he sees this. Unless Bruce beats him to it. And Donna, fuck, how could he forget about Donna.

Roy isn’t sure if reality hits him or Jason first.

He lets go of the kid and stumbles a half-step away, heart stopping in horror as his actions catch up to him. As Jason jumps back into the wall behind him like Roy is on fire. As a sudden silence fills the air, settling heavily onto his shoulders until it feels like it's crushing him. They stare at each other, panting, and Roy hates the part of him that notices that Jason’s mouth is red and wet and that he’s flushed head to toe.

Jason brings his fingers to his lips, touching them like what had just happened had been in a dream, and he has to make sure it was real. “I . . . We . . . Shit, I didn’t think . . .”

His voice trails off, and Roy swallows numbly. He feels like the ground is shifting under his feet as he prepares for the most awkward talk in his life about why they can’t ever do or mention this again. “Jason—”

“Hey, Roy, you here?”

Dick’s voice explodes through the tense quiet like a bomb, and Roy whips around, brain trying to come up with anything to say. Desperately he looks behind him, to beg through eye contact to not say something that could give them away, but . . . Jason is gone.

Like he had never even been there in the first place.

Fuck.

Roy is still staring blankly when Dick enters the room, shrugging off his winter coat. “Hey, I know you said that Alfred and Jay made some hot chocolate, but I grabbed the key for Bruce’s cabinet anyway because I can’t be completely sober when I tell you what—” Dick stops, voice turning concerned when he sees the look on Roy’s face. “You okay, man?”

Roy opens his mouth. Closes it. The taste of hot chocolate and cinnamon turns to ash in his mouth. Alcohol sounds really, really good all of a sudden.

He smiles, his chest feeling like someone had scraped out an important part of him with a knife. “I’m fine, just really need to be drunk when I tell you about this bullshit Ollie said to me.”

Dick makes an understanding noise, wrapping an arm around Roy’s shoulders as he leads them out of the kitchen. Away from the gentle lights and the smell of chocolate and the way Jason’s lips had felt against his, soft and warm.

He touches his fingertips to his mouth. Dick looks at him. “Roy, really, you seem kind of out of it, are you sure—”

“I’m fine, honest.” He risks a glance back, wondering if he could maybe catch a glimpse of Jason in his Wonder Woman sweatshirt, eyes tired and broken and hopeful. “Just thinking.”

Dick laughs, “Well, don’t do too much of that tonight.”

Roy forces another grin, still feeling the ghost of Jason’s lips tracing his mouth.

“When do I ever?”

[travllingbunny]

The 100 7x12 The Stranger

This is an episode I’ve enjoyed a lot more on rewatch than the first time. Which I kind of expected. The first time, I really didn’t like it, but this was mostly because I was too impatient to see Bardo and Bellamy, and really didn’t have patience for the Sanctum scenes, which again took up so much of the episode, or focus while watching them - that is, I did at the beginning, but not in the second half o the episode. 

In fact, there was nothing that bad about the Sanctum scenes, and I enjoyed many of them on rewatch, but this storyline is simply not as interesting as the one about the Anomaly, Bardo and the Disciples, especially now when Bellamy has returned and just had a most dramatic character transformation, 5 episodes before the end of the show. And that’s been the main problem of the season so far: pacing. Jumping from one plot to another works when you have two equally interesting and exciting stories, and that really isn’t the case here.

It also didn’t help that this episode - by a first time writer - had too much clunky dialogue, such as so many times when characters were recapping events to each other:

Indra recaps to Memori what happened in a scene we saw 5 minutes earlier (at least this was brief)

Hope recaps her life story to Jordan, which we already saw in 7x02 and 7x04 and heard retold 7x07

Madi recaps what happened to her on Earth (to be fair, we did not actually see that on screen)

Bellamy recaps not just 7x11, but also season 3 and season 6

Murphy recaps 7x03 to Nikki

Now, some of this was probably necessary, but some of it wasn’t exactly - for instance, did we really need to hear Hope’s life story again? The scene was very nice, but we could’ve just have Hope tell Jordan “Dev was my friend” and assume she already told him who he was. This wouldn’t bug me if it was just one scene, but it was so many of them in the same episode. It’s OK to have characters sometimes learn info off-screen, especially when there’s just a few episodes remaining. It’s not that there isn’t enough time left to resolve all the storylines - there are 4 episodes left, about the same net amount of screentime as the entirety of Avengers: Endgame - but the show needs to pick up the pace.

It could’ve been a better episode, especially considering the fact that some big things happened, and the storylines finally converged by the end of the episode, setting up potentially exciting final 4 episodes. 

On the more positive note - it was very interesting to see Bellamy’s conversation with Cadogan and his repressed but clearly conflicted emotions in his scenes - first with Echo and Raven, and later with Clarke and Octavia, and his attempts to find reconcile his new faith with his desire to save the people he loves. And on rewatch, I enjoyed a lot of the other scenes -nice character moments with Madi and her friends, and with Jordan and Hope, cute moments with Memori, or even Murphy’s confrontation with Nikki, though I would’ve enjoyed some of them better if they had happened in some other episode earlier in the season.

Bardo

Bellamy is now in full-blown Disciple mode, wearing one of those ridiculous white robes, similar to what Doucette wears, even though Bellamy is not a Conductor or a science-oriented person like Gabriel, hasn’t gone through any Disciple training and isn’t even Level 1 (as seen by the lack of the marks on his face). He is clearly being treated as one of the top Disciples anyway, one of Cadogan’s inner circle, which may be justified by the fact that he has gone through the Etherea pilgrimage. We know that Cadogan’s pilgrimage is a big deal in Disciple religion, which would raise both his and Doucette’s status, but he is also, of course, important to Cadogan because of his connection to Clarke and the “Key”.(Sidenote: I don’t think anyone has been appointed the new First Disciple after Anders’ death. The job of the FD was to act on behalf of the Shepherd and lead in his absence, and wake him up every 20 years to update him on the progress of the search for the Key and the Final Code. Now that Cadogan is there to lead himself, he has no need for a deputy anymore.) 

He is also getting to have one-on-one talks with Cadogan. This scene is one of the most interesting in this episode. Bellamy is incredibly repressed, with subdued feelings, but those emotions are still simmering and coming through on his face and in his voice, thanks to Bob’s great acting. Bellamy gives Cadogan condolences for Anders’ death, and Cadogan replies that he really barely knew and didn’t care about Anders, which we knew already. Cadogan interprets this as Bellamy testing him if he has any attachments. I don’t know if that is true or just how Cadogan read it, or if Bellamy assumed Cadogan and his FD must have been close, and/or if he was doing it so he could bring up the issue of his friends, who are supposed to be executed for “their” crimes. (Which are really just Echo’s and Hope’s crimes, but the Disciples seem to have decided they bear collective responsibility, even though many of them tried to stop it - and no one is disputing it.) Cadogan goes on about how trying to suppress attachments and emotions is a long way and says he is still struggling with it after doing it for hundreds of years. (No, Bill, you haven’t been even conscious for hundreds of years. You were in cryo. Shut up.) He says Bellamy reminds him of his son Reese/ Since Bellamy and Reese are nothing alike, I can only interpret this as Cadogan trying to manipulate Bellamy by presenting himself as a father figure. I thought at first that he may really have meant it because he assumed Bellamy would be as loyal to him as Reese was - but that’s clearly not true, since the end of this episode shows that Bill does not fully trust Bellamy.

Bill thinks that Callie must have killed Reese, since he apparently can’t see any other reason why Reese never got to bring him the Flame. It says a lot that 1) he assumes that 1) Reese always remained loyal to him and that 2) Callie would be willing to kill her brother. He always put them against each other and made them fight as children. And he doesn’t even entertain the thought that Reese may have had any character growth and changed his mind. I have a feeling he may be wrong on both accounts.

But Bellamy is good at manipulating Cadogan, too, in order to save his friends - he realizes that Bill’s family is his weak spot. Cadogan was not entirely convinced by Bellamy’s suggestion that the Flame can be repaired, but he was affected - even if he didn’t admit that - when Bellamy told him he may find out what happened to his children through the Flame.  I’m not entirely sure if Bellamy believes that 1) the Flame can be repaired (which may or may not happen) and 2) the Commanders' memories would still be there (which doesn’t make a lot of sense and seems unlikely). He is very sincere about his faith, and he says later he can’t lie to the Shepherd, so he wouldn’t be lying... But he is clutching at straws to save his loved ones, maybe even trying to convince himself. And there’s also the fact that he does lie to Cadogan later, during Clarke’s MCap.

We then see two conversations Bellamy has with the people close to him - the first one is with his Spacekru family: his girlfriend Echo and his long-time friend Raven. The second one is with Clarke and his actual family, Octavia. The Disciples again made sure to put characters in cells for two people, but we don’t get to see Bellamy talk to Miller and Niylah (even though the scene was filmed, as we saw in the promo pictures). I hope that scene was not cut due to time - considering how much screentime was used up by the Sanctum storyline, again, and these characters are constantly getting short-changed. But I think it may have instead been cut because of the story structure - to focus on just these two scenes. What’s more, Raven’s role is much smaller than Echo’s in the former scene as she leaves early, and, surprisingly, Octavia plays a secondary role in the latter, which is mostly focused on Bellamy and Clarke’s interaction. And considering how the former scene was changed from the script, - Bellamy’s emotions toned down, Bellamy not explaining his experiences to Echo and Raven as he does later to Clarke and Octavia - which made the contrast between the two scenes stronger, I think the intention was to focus mostly on Bellamy’s relationships with Echo and Clarke, and that the compare and contrast was deliberate.

Throughout both of these scenes, Bellamy insists that he is trying to save everyone from death, while also being true to his faith, but his loved ones, understandably, are shocked by this new Disciple Bellamy, who feels like a stranger, and who is acting as one of their captors and is even willing to let them be put in MCap against their will. He notably does not answer the question Echo asks - if he is ready to watch them die, which is a strong possibility if his attempts to placate Cadogan don’t work. Instead he just says “You know that’s not what I want”, which doesn’t answer the question. Maybe because he is not sure yet what the answer is. But he does answer one other question...

In his talk with Raven and Echo, Bellamy shows emotions (including concern when noticing Echo’s scars), but they are very subdued, and he eventually makes it clear that, if push comes to shove, he is prioritizing his new faith over his people. Raven reacts with typical Raven anger, and throws the words "So much for family" in Bellamy’s face (echoing what Bellamy himself said to Miller in season 5 - "So much for the 100"). Echo is also indignant but tries to plead with him, hoping to bring back old Bellamy in him - without any success. Which may be seen as a sign of how strong Bellamy’s indoctrination is... but looking a little beneath the surface, a lot of what she says makes me wonder how well she knew the old Bellamy in the first place. Bellamy, on his part, asks Echo to believe in him and be on his side, but his argument is to appeal to her feelings for him (”I am the man you love”), expecting her trust and loyalty without really offering anything in return, such as, say, some promise, some mention of his feelings for her. Echo tells him about how obsessed she was with saving him... and then avenging him - she is really channeling S2 Finn with how she refers to her genocide attempt as a grand romantic gesture and sign of love that he should appreciate. Even if Bellamy was his old self, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be happy to hear that. Disciple Bellamy remains stone-faced and gives her only a flat “I’m sorry you had to go through that”. 

(And this is what annoys me about this scene and this storyine in general: somehow, Echo is made to look morally superior, after having murdered and betrayed multiple people this season an some two days after she murdered people as a way to torture Levitt and almost committed genocide, and no one has any time to even mention that or blame her for anything. If Bellamy had done a fraction of her actions, it would’ve turned into a huge story of guilt and Bellamy being blamed and needing to redeem himself forever.)

But regardless of how you see these characters’ respective arcs, one thing is clear: they are on completely different wavelengths. Echo mentions how she tried to keep her identity by scarring her face - but that scarring was an Azgeda custom; the core identity she was trying to preserve was that of an Azgeda warrior/spy, which is hardly something to mention as a positive thing to Bellamy. Not only does it have nothing to do with them as a couple or as a team/”family”- her Azgeda spy/warrior identity made her Bellamy’s enemy and caused him a lot of trauma. This is either some weird and bad writing, or an intentional attempt to show the cracks in this relationship that have been there all along. Bellamy, on his part, seems to think Echo will understand the appeal that this faith has for him - a promise of “no more war, no more killing”. Why does he think this is something that would appeal to her? Fighting and killing for her “people” and her “King” and fulfilling her mission is what she lives for, even after having spent 11 years in peace.

Throughout this scene, Echo looks very emotional, especially by her standards, while Bellamy is incredibly restrained. She finally asks him point blank “Is this (his faith) more important than us?” This is a very ambiguous line, because the pronoun “us” can be understood as “all of us, your family/friends” or “you and me/our relationship”. There’s been a debate on which one she meant - I even created a Twitter poll about it (where about 2/3 of voters said they thought she meant their relationship). I can see both of these interpretations, but the intimate way she said that line and the way she was looking at him make me think that she meant “us” as in their relationship. Either way, the fact that Bellamy - after a pause - unambiguously answered “Yes”, makes it pretty clear that this relationship is over. I find it hard to see any future in this relationship even if/when Bellamy stops drinking the Kool-Aid. I do think someone will be able to get to him, but it won’t be Echo.

Echo cries after he has left (which I feel was much more in character than if she had been crying during their talk, as in the script.). Back in 7x04, Echo asked Orlando: “ It must be hard to dedicate your whole life to something that may never come.” I’ve always felt that was foreshadowing for Echo’s own arc - with the way she was saying she wouldn’t know what to do without Bellamy. I didn’t expect their relationship to end for this reason - but this is a much stronger blow for Echo than if they had just broken up for more mundane reasons. She didn’t just lose her boyfriend, she lost her king.  If her arc is to make any sense, the show will have reflect on her life, identity and priorities and her find some purpose in life that’s not about Bellamy or serving another leader.

Octavia and Clarke are together in another cell - and we get a brief interaction, where Octavia tells Clarke she “finally understands” her, because she knows what it’s like to have a child you’re desperate to protect. I’m not too fond of this line, because it feels kind of obvious but also reductive - “I finally understand you” makes it sound like she finally understands who Clarke always has been, since she met her in season 1, which doesn’t make sense. It’s reducing Clarke to the role of the mother, and it would make a lot more sense if Octavia said she now understood the post-Praimfaya Clarke. But understanding was never an issue between them in season 5 - Clarke was simply standing in Blodreina's way. It was back in seasons 1-4 that Octavia had trouble understanding Clarke and her decision as a leader - something that she probably understood when she became a leader herself, responsible for a bunch of people.

Bellamy’s second big confrontation is with Clarke and Octavia. And in this one, Bellamy was much, much more openly emotional, much more vulnerable. This time, he not only told his experience to his sister and Clarke - he is now desperately  pleading with Clarke to believe in him. He doesn’t bring up her feelings for him, but their connection and - in a way - his feelings for her, what he did for her, the fact he did not give up and brought her back to life in S6. They are both yelling and looking in pain and with tears in their eyes. He isn’t shouts “I am trying to save you, all of you!” But this is not about Clarke believing in him or dismissing his experiences. She accepts that what he says may be true, but refuses to give in to a man like Cadogan and let him start a war, and she stands her ground, while Octavia turns away from her brother to comfort her, looking at him disapprovingly. If someone can get to Bellamy, if his feelings could outweigh his faith and loyalty to Cadogan, it is most likely to be Clarke (It could be Octavia, of course, but the show is not choosing to focus on their relationship at the moment.)

I’d like to point out that we have seen this kind of angsty conflict between Clarke and Bellamy almost every season, and often around this part of the season, and that it always ended in an equally huge reconciliation. In season 3, it was earlier (3x05 to 3x11). In season 4 it was in 4x10/4x11 with a reconciliation in 4x12. In season 5, it lasted from 5x09 to their big reconciliation in the season 5 finale. They always end up forgiving each other because they can understand each other - and are a united team in every season finale.

I want to address something else I’ve seen people say: that it is “worrying” that Clarke has called Bellamy her best friend twice this season, after never having defined their relationship that specifically before. Which is seen by some as a sign of the show trying to “clear” that they are “platonic” - even though this really doesn’t do that. (Anyone remember a certain real life tweet going: “Recently, I married my best friend and soulmate...”?) If anything, it is a step forward, since she has previously only referred to Bellamy as one of her friends/family. What else would she call him that would give him a special place, unless you expect a love confession from her at a moment like this (or talking to Cadogan in front of everyone), which wouldn't make sense. Specifying their current relationship status  of two characters feels like something you would do if that status is to change - one way or other. (I think that Bellamy has also been called Echo's boyfriend for the first time in S7.) 

The struggle inside Bellamy continues as he sends Clarke to MCap - which rightfully shocks and hurts both Clarke and Octavia, But he clearly has a hard time seeing Clarke in pain. and, in spite of what he said earlier (that he can’t lie to the Shepherd), lies to Cadogan, claiming Clarke doesn’t know where the Flame is. There is no way he actually believes that - Clarke didn’t even try to pretend that she didn’t know it, and she’s struggling to hide that knowledge. Unfortunately it’s an obvious lie Cadogan sees through, but the cracks in Bellamy’s loyalty to him are starting to show.

(Many people were hoping that the MCap session would allow Bellamy to see Clarke’s memories and that this would be some kind of breakthrough that would let him realize her feelings for him and get him emotional - but I’m glad nothing like that happened, Mind violation is not a good way to bring two people together..)

Clarke, being Clarke, hurts herself rather than giving Cadogan what he wants and letting him start a war, until he promises he release her friends.

The show is really not subtle with its imagery - first we had Kane crucified in season 3, and now Clarke looks like Jesus with a crown of thorns. 

So, Cadogan sends the rest of the group (Octavia, Echo, Hope, Miller, Niylah, Jordan) to an unknown location, as a collateral, so Clarke would keep her end of the deal and find the Flame for them. But he doesn’t reveal the location to Clarke - or to Bellamy, because, in his words, he doesn’t trust Clarke. But this means that he doesn’t really trust Bellamy, either - at least not when Clarke is around.

Doucette seems to be constantly hanging around Bellamy - he was there when Bellamy was reunited with his people, he appears after Bellamy’s talk with Clarke and Octavia, and he’s with Cadogan, Bellamy, Clarke and others in the team that goes to Sanctum. I don’t think it’s just because they are the Disciple version of friends - I think Cadogan has made Doucette Bellamy’s unofficial Handler, and that he’s supposed to keep an eye on him and make sure he stays loyal and doesn’t give in to the temptation of emotional attachments to his friends and family. He also has a brief interaction with Echo, where he seems amused and mildly contemptuous. Which makes me think he’ll have some interesting interactions with Clarke and possibly others in 7x13 (but mostly Clarke, especially going by the promo photos) while he is  around Bellamy to remind him of his Disciple side.

There’s been a lot of speculation where the group has been sent. It’s certainly not Skyring, Etherea or Nakara or Sanctum, which means that the options are either Earth, or some new place we haven’t seen yet. It would make sense if it was the same place where Gaia was. It certainly seems that we won’t see this group before 7x14, as the upcoming episode will probably be full focused on Sanctum. The Stone on Earth has been shown to be offline - but so was the Stone on Sanctum, and that didn’t end up mattering at all.

What I don’t understand is why Cadogan thinks they won’t be able to find their way to Sanctum - which is why he didn’t let Gabriel and Raven go with them. But they do have Disciple helmets (unless all info in them has been disabled), and Jordan was around when Raven talked about the Anomaly and has spent a bit of time researching the Bardoan text on the Anomaly Stone on Bardo - so I expect him to be able to figure things out.

So many of the characters need to resolve their storylines - Echo, Hope, Jordan? The former two have character arcs that badly need resolution and character development, after they have lost everything. Hope has been driven by anger, pain and revenge all season - and it all came crashing down when she attempted to commit genocide, and unintentionally caused her mother’s death as a result. Diyoza’s last words were to be better than she was. Hope still has Octavia, who has struggled with and resolved the darkness and violence in her soul, and now she also has Jordan to bond with, as they did in their scene in the cell in this episode. They are two of the kids who grew up in isolation and raised on stories of Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Murphy and others as legends, but with drastically different worldviews and experiences. I expect both of them to survive to the end, together with Madi, as the new generation/hopes for the future of humanity.

As for Jordan, I would say that his arc needs a resolution, but his brainwashing by Trey at the end of last season seems to have been completely forgotten and ignored. Maybe it became a casualty of the rewrites, when the show opted to go with another brainwashing/indoctrination storyline with another one of its men of color. I certainly prefer this Jordan we saw talking to Hope and comforting her, but why didn’t the show keep him that way all the time, without that really annoying Prime-apologism phase?  

I feel that Octavia, on the other hand, has completed her character development, but she needs to deal with the loss of Diyoza, have some meaningful interactions with Hope, and of course, a resolution to her relationship with Bellamy. 

It really struck me how little Bellamy/Octavia interactions got focus in this episode - their one scene was more focused on Bellamy's interaction with Clarke, and Octavia didn't even get a line or closeup in the scene where they were being sent off (unlike Clarke, Echo, Raven, Gabriel and Miller) nor even a moment of eye contact with Bellamy (unlike Echo and Clarke). That must mean there are going to be big Blake sibling scenes later, probably in the finale.

Sanctum

When you think Sheidheda can’t get more over the top, he does it again. I don’t know if this is a bad or good thing. If you’re doing a cartoonish villain, go all in, right? It’s kind of entertaining, though it doesn’t fit with the usual way this show does villains. This time, he actually has a throne made of skeletons! (That’s one way to use those skeletons of the Primes’ former hosts.)

He’s also borderline  Villain Sue, with a bunch of incredible fighting skills that now go beyond Grounder style fight. Now he’s also really good with automatic guns. When did that happen? I mean, Madi does know how to shoot a gun, but still? The scene where he shoots all of the Children of Gabriel would’ve been much more convincing if he had given a sign to Wonkru to start shooting them, instead of doing it all by himself.

Nelson’s (Sachin)’s death was fitting for his character, and many would say it was heroic and impressive, refusing to kneel to another false god. Or one could say it was stupid and pointless - as it did not result in just his death, but also the deaths of all the people he was leading, and that he should have instead taken Emori’s advice and knelt today so he could find a way to beat Shady some other day, while saving his people. I’ll let you guess which one of these is closer to how I feel. In any case, on the Doylist level, I’m not fond of how fast the show is to kill off another bunch of people, but it is what it is, the show has always been fond of mass murder. And this is Shady’s second one this season. First he killed the majority of the Faithful, and now almost all of the Children of Gabriel - so we wouldn’t have to deal with more factions of people in the show’s endgame. And conveniently, CoG got removed from the board just before Gabriel comes back to Sanctum, Now we won’t have to have that arc followed up on. How many people are left in Sanctum now that aren’t Earthkru? There must still be quite a few of the ordinary Sanctumites there, such as Delilah’s parents, but we rarely get to see them. I would hate it if the show killed off the majority of the Sanctum residents just because they’re not major characters.

The only CoG who gets to survive is Madi’s friend Luca, the one other CoG we know. Indra, who witnesses the massacre and saves Luca, must be thinking back to how her mother knelt to save her (just like she knelt to save Madi) and hopefully realizing that her mother wasn’t a coward and did the right thing. 

Meanwhile, Murphy and Emori are hiding Madi, the remaining Faithful, and now Luca, too, in the nuclear reactor. Trey, the big believer, has no problem suggesting they kneel to the guy who killed his god Russell, before Murphy points out that Shady would kill them anyway for fear they would want revenge. Oh, Shady - you killed so many people and didn't even have the decency to kill that annoying asshole Trey?  

One of the best parts of the Sanctum plot in this episode is Madi comforting a really traumatized Luca - who has lost first his biological family when Shady killed the Faithful, and now his people/his real family - and telling a group of orphaned children a story of her own survival in the Shallow Valley. Whether or not this is foreshadowing for a possible return to Earth (I am in two minds if this is going to happen or not), it is a sweet moment of hope for rebuilding life and society, similar to the scene between Jordan and Hope.

Murphy confronting Nikki and telling her how and why her husband died and that his sacrifice should not be in vain, is a good scene - and won’t be pointless if it finally results in some sort of character development for Nikki, who has been so one-note throughout this season. But she is simply not that interesting. The one interesting thing about her plot is that she could remind Murphy of who was back in season 1, but the show, usually not subtle with parallels, hasn’t done anything with that so far.  

There also some lovely Memori moments - they are the one couple in the show who are getting to be happy and have these ordinary coupley scenes. And you know that I have always shipped Memori. But the problem here is - there have been many cute Memori scenes this season; they have both proved to be good leaders, who take care of people, playing the role Clarke and Bellamy did once; Murphy has been proving every episode that he’s a real hero now, coming a long way not just since season 1 but from his questionable and selfish choices in season 6, too. He gets told “I’m proud of you, Murphy” again by someone, this time Indra. All of this is very nice, but repetitive. After so many episodes this season have shown us these things - we get it. We don’t doubt anymore that Murphy and Emori are heroes. Sheidheda is 100% a villain. There is no moral ambiguity - except with minor characters: the only unpredictable thing about the storyline is what Nikki will do and whether Knight will stop obeying Shady. It’s not that this is a terrible storyline, and on rewatch, it was fine in this episode - but the other storyline is way more interesting, and there are so many other characters that are in pressing need of character resolutions, with 4 episodes to go.

At the end, we’re left with a stalemate, as Murphy is captured by Shady, but Shady can’t move to capture or kill Emori and the people they are protecting in the reactor, because she could blow it up, so he leaves Knight to wait for them to come out. 

And then, finally, Cadogan and the group come from the Anomaly. Why did we have that Disciple so dramatically disconnect the Sanctum Stone in 7x04? Another abandoned subplot? Wonkru simply moved the Stone and brought it tot Shady, and it worked just fine. 

(I suspect the Flame may turn out to be impossible to repair or useless, because the show has been emphasizing Madi’s remaining memories so much this season - and that wasn’t needed for this plot, since Shady also remembers the Anomaly Stone and could have been the one to tell Wonkru about it. The Disciples may end up trying to get her into MCap to see if she remembers the Final Code that Bedca used.)

I’m ecstatic that the Bardo storyline is finally converging with the Sanctum one. But that somewhat initially ruined by the bad direction in the last scene, which made it less clear which of the characters were back on Sanctum, until you went back and paused the scene. Clarke asking “What the hell happened here?” and Murphy’s reply “Gee, where to start” was great, but the fact that so many people  were asking “Did Bellamy come to Sanctum with them?” and weren’t sure of it before the Inside the episode and sneak peeks came out, shows how poorly this scene was done. It should’ve made it crystal clear that Bellamy, Raven and Gabriel were coming back to Sanctum together with Clarke and Cadogan - getting people excited for the next episode.

Rating: 6.5/10 

[felassan]

Faces of Thedas Part 1

(Part 2 is here)

Soooo I came across what seems to be the whole of Faces of Thedas free online. 0: 

I’m picking through it and there’s some cool/interesting stuff in there. these parts were the highlights and most notable bits for me so far. not suggesting this is all new or that these things are all good, just that they were what stood out most to me.

- it specifically notes that it’s a useful guide to their characters, with their histories and personalities carefully researched and detailed. i.e. it’s official information. I do have to say there are quite a few typos (Par Vallon? Kal-shirok? Teveinter? Bartran? Sa arebas? bit sloppy) and even several lore-errors in it. not a big deal, just you’d think it’s the kind of thing they would have caught during editing and proof-reads

- blond hair and blue eyes are distinctive features of Anderfels mountain men

- Leliana’s features are very Fereldan

- it describes Cass as a “cactus patch” LOL, dragon-hunting as a limited field with just two classes of practitioners - “skilled” and “deceased” - and lists Anders’ Awakening-era equipment as including Ser Pounce-a-lot (yey!) and dried mackerel (yuk). includes notable quotes from some of the characters; Dog’s is “Woof!” (of course). Varric is totally making Cass a character in his next bestseller. Cole’s equipment list ends “and an unusual hat”. Stitches is one of the best healers in Ferelden. Dalish the Charger is a flirt. Varric’s allegiances include “the Champion of Kirkwall”. ;__; Harding’s role is “Adorably Sarcastic Lead Scout”, and her family mabari Contessa weighs 170 pounds. an aside, but descriptions of Origins-era Anders cause him to strike me as an Enneagram 7

- if Hawke killed Anders for his actions at the end of DAII, disciples (like-minded mages) elevated him to martyrdom for his valiant blow against their oppressors. if Anders lived, after the Kirkwall Rebellion he’s not only a pariah but arguably the most universally despised person alive in all of Thedas. even among the Rebel Mages he’s considered an extremist, and there’s apparently hardly a mage alive who’s in any way pleased with his actions 8| according to this book, hundreds died when Kirkwall Chantry blew up

- one of Alistair’s few indulgences as King was commissioning a custom pike designed specially for him. it’s a masterwork ironbark twohanded spear, and was inspired by Oghren’s old off-color jokes about pike-twirling.

- “Alistair is one of the few truly good people in Thedas”

- he sees siring Morrigan’s child as a fate worse than death

- whatever her outcome, Anora remains a Queen of Ferelden in her heart

- Leliana is still the girl that had a pet nug she named Schmooples, despite it all

- after the Fifth Blight, Dog was allowed to rest/retire, settle down, find a mate, and produce many Mabari pups. these pups share the ferocity of their father, and could prove equally valuable companions to those worthy of their loyalty. after his passing, there’s a good chance that interested parties would be after his bones to display them as a prize or curio.

- far from just using the network of mirrors to hamper both sides in the Orlesian Civil War, back when Briala had control of the eluvians she also used them to bring food to alienages, gaining the support of City Elves in the process, and to aid elves in other ways too. she’s also noted to have been doing what she could to gain the support of the Dalish, and that her logic was that the longer she could drag out and harry the Orlesian war effort, the more time she would have to free her People from their bonds. her goals are for all of the elves of Orlais, City and Dalish both, and she’s making efforts to bring unity between the two. in the Orlesian court she spends time, through intrigue, supporting nobles who support elves and tearing down those who do not. Briala is bae ok I added that last bit myself

- “Many Dalish don’t see city elves as being truly elves and so don’t see any particular reason to help them, and for that matter why would anyone want to have equality with a shem?”

- in need of an Inquisitor to head up their soon-to-be-hatched recreation of the Inquisition of old, and potential allies of the Chantry and the Divine, Leliana had set out in search of the Hero of Ferelden while Cassandra sought Hawke.

- rogue Seekers as well as the templars and rebel mages were in attendance at the Conclave. before the sky opened, Cassandra and Varric were supposed to address the Conclave, so that Varric could recount his tale of the Champion

- I like this snippet on Cass’s development: “introspection is a difficult skill to learn, however, and her brash impulsiveness often leaves her deeply chagrined or ashamed of mistakes that could have been avoided had she taken time to consider before rushing to judgement. Or to paraphrase her own recriminations, recent events taught her anything, it’s the extent of her own ignorance and short-sightedness.” I like to think this sort of reflection and development applies to her looking back on some of the ill-thought comments she made early in the course of DA:I, like asking Lavellan “Isn’t there room for another god?” and similar.

- Cass and Galyan could never make a stable, serious relationship, but they did get together when they could and harbored feelings for each other right up until he died at the Conclave Q.Q

- “Celene does, in fact, have sympathy for the elves,”    ಠ_ಠ

- Cole perceives pain as very nearly a physical thing with which he can interact. his unhesitating stream-of-consciousness recounting of peoples’ most painful memories occurs because he wants to excise the pain by exposing it and helping his subject through it

- This part on how Dorian can potentially be used by GMs in campaigns: “Dorian provides a strong candidate for a high-society Tevinter who would employ the heroes. Due to his position in Tevinter nobility as well as his experience in researching arcane lore, he would be able to provide access to Tevinter archives or artifacts in return for tasks the party performs for him.” Echoes of Dorian’s role in Dragon Age 4, perhaps?

- idk i just really like the parallels in the Grey Warden order recalling Fiona to Weisshaupt and making the shocking discovery that she was cured of the Taint, and the order recalling the Hero of Ferelden upon learning that no Warden died to deal the killing blow on the Archdemon, if Morrigan’s ritual was completed

- literally everything about Fiona

- Fiona’s silverite battlemage staff is emblazoned with the Theirin coat of arms.. my heart...

- the lil section on romancing Harding

- bit more insight into Qunari views on gender and trans people

- an alternate version of the story of Flemeth and Conabar; Flemeth was betrothed to the poet Osen, but they were very poor. The nobleman Conabar struck a deal with Osen to buy her. she agreed but Conabar recanted, claiming he had no money to pay. he killed Osen and imprisoned her. she called upon the demon to aid her, but it only became her guide and never possessed her. she killed Conabar and fled.

- Harding’s calling cards in guerrilla warfare are latrines booby-trapped with Antivan Fire or hornet nests. a former bard and fellow scout even immortalized one such escapade in a spectacularly graphic limerick

- Josie’s dangerousness, hardworkingness, talent, formidableness and high sense of personal responsibility/ethics is emphasized 👏 “she is one of the most gifted communicators and stateswomen alive”!!

- the Charger Dalish “hails from a secret group of elves. It has long been thought that the elves had regained the secrets to lost magic, and Dalish is living proof”.

[cruelangelstheses]

something lonesome

fandom: dragon age rating: G characters: fenris/m!hawke, original child character, anders words: 3k additional tags: canon compliant, kid fic, some implied past violence description: when fenris finds an orphaned elven child in the kirkwall alienage, all he knows is that he has to help her somehow. a/n: hello everyone!! i wrote this fic for the @fenriszine and now that the orders have been shipped out i can finally post it!! :D i’m thinking about writing more fics in this ‘verse as well :0 title is from “from eden” by hozier

read it on ao3

—

The alienage is so busy, Fenris almost doesn’t hear the cries—almost.

It’s not rare to hear an infant wailing, but this is different. It’s plaintive, almost mournful, the howl of someone crushed under the weight of a terrible loss. Intrigued, Fenris stops in his tracks and listens closely, furrowing his brow. Some elves bump into him or brush past him, shaking their heads or muttering something under their breath. After a few seconds of standing in the middle of the street like a fool, he hears it again: tiny, high-pitched sobs.

Fenris had planned on just dropping off the food for Merrill and then leaving the alienage before he could get roped into anything. Too late for that now, it seems.

Turning his head to the side, he quickly pinpoints the probable source of the sound: an alleyway partially hidden by barrels and the shadows of buildings. When he takes a few steps forward, his suspicions are confirmed—the cries get louder the closer he gets.

At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be anything in the alley. Fenris peers behind one of the barrels, and there he spots the perpetrator, huddled in the dirt and the darkness: an elven child, probably no older than four, curled up in the fetal position.

The child must have heard his footsteps, or otherwise sensed his presence, because she lifts her head up abruptly, revealing a reddened and tear-streaked face. Her skin is only a shade or two lighter than his, and her pointed ears protrude from underneath a mess of long, tangled black hair. Upon seeing Fenris towering over her, the girl gasps, her bright green eyes widening in fear.

Fenris isn’t quite sure what to do, so he holds his hands up in a universal gesture of surrender. “Hold on,” he says, his voice steady. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

The girl sniffles and wipes at her eyes, her lip trembling. She doesn’t seem all that convinced.

Fenris kneels down in front of her. “What happened?” he asks softly, trying his best to adopt a less threatening demeanor, a difficult task when he looks quite...well, threatening.

Unexpectedly, the girl stands up and points toward the alienage, her expression suddenly solemn. Without a word, she steps out into the street, gesturing for him to follow her. Fenris raises a confused eyebrow and rises to his feet.

The girl scurries halfway across the alienage, darting in between groups of elves and ducking underneath their hands. Fenris, being much larger than her, almost crashes into a few of them in his effort to keep track of her. Finally he finds her standing in front of a little home similar to Merrill’s, only Merrill’s front door has never been knocked off its hinges (as far as he knows). It lies broken against the wall, a signifier to all who enter that the rest of the place will probably be in a similar state.

“Is this your house?” Fenris asks the girl. She nods.

When he steps into the main room, he catches the distinct scent of corpses and burnt flesh. He doesn’t even need to see the bodies to get an idea of what may have happened—one glance at the broken furniture, bloodstains, charred wood, and half-frozen weapons is enough.

The first body he finds is that of a templar, badly burned, lying near the entrance to the back room. Fenris already knows what he’ll find on the other side, but he forces himself to take a look.

The smell of death is worse in this room, where pools of blood surround two dead elves on the floor. Though neither wear mage robes, the woman holds a staff in her hand; the man seems to have fought with daggers.

“They came for Mama.”

Fenris jumps at the sound of the voice and spins around to see the young girl standing in front of him, speaking to him for the first time. “They wanted to...to take her away,” she continues. “She didn’t want to. And Papa didn’t want her to. And things got scary. So I ran.”

“I...I see,” Fenris says slowly. Templars sometimes take children of mages away, to be raised by the Chantry—perhaps they never found her after she fled the house. “And you have no other family that could take you in?”

The girl shakes her head.

It doesn’t take long for Fenris to come to a decision. He can’t just leave her here. With an awkward half-smile, an attempt at comfort, he says, “Well, I suppose you will just have to come with me for the moment.”

The girl narrows her eyes in confusion. “Huh?”

“I can help you find somewhere to stay,” he explains. “Will that be alright?”

Some part of his mind wonders if it’s silly to negotiate with a child. He hasn’t had much experience with them; he wouldn’t know. But the way the girl looks at him—with trust and possibly even respect—makes him think that it isn’t, or it shouldn’t be.

“Yes,” the girl says finally. “Thank you, messere.”

For a moment, Fenris wonders if he heard her correctly. Messere—the title one uses when speaking to someone of greater social status in the Free Marches. It’s a title he never expected anyone to be able to use for him, not even a four-year-old. Clearly her parents taught her to be polite. Caught off guard, he says, clearing his throat awkwardly, “I—yes, well—you’re welcome. But, ah, feel free to call me Fenris instead.”

“Okay,” the girl says. “Um...I’m Lyra.”

“Lyra,” Fenris repeats. He likes the way it feels on his tongue. “Well, then, Lyra. Let’s find a place for you, shall we?”

—

“Finding a place” for Lyra turns out to be a much more difficult task than Fenris expected. The Kirkwall Chantry isn’t willing to take in the elven daughter of a mage, so he couldn’t give her to them even if he wanted to. The elves in the alienage are already struggling under the weight of poverty, so none of them can afford another mouth to feed, and none of the other humans want an elven child.

Lyra, for her part, doesn’t seem to want human parents, either. Already naturally shy and skittish, she shrinks in fear whenever Fenris tries to introduce her to a human acquaintance, even Hawke, who has always been popular with children. Hawke offers to take her in—says the estate feels too big and empty without his mother in it—but when Fenris mentions this to Lyra, she simply shakes her head furiously. It doesn’t matter that two dwarves and an elven servant also live there; all that matters is that there is a human.

That just leaves Varric and Merrill, and Varric respectfully declines. “The Hanged Man is no place for a child,” he says, and Fenris is inclined to agree. Merrill offers, but she can barely take care of herself at the moment, so focused on her mirror that she forgets to eat—that’s the whole reason Fenris was even in the alienage that day. It very rapidly becomes clear that Lyra will probably have to stay at his place for a little while, a prospect that alarms him far more than it should for reasons he can’t quite describe.

It’s not that he’s embarrassed about the mansion; it’s as good as anywhere else, and he likes the idea of destroying things that Danarius considers “his,” of letting a symbol of depravity crumble around him. Still, he feels the need to warn Lyra about its deterioration so that she isn’t surprised by the stark contrast between it and the surrounding mansions.

Lyra, however, is in awe of the place, her eyes wide with wonder as she takes in the double staircases, the statues, the high ceiling. As he leads her up the stairs, she asks timidly, “How come you don’t live in the alienage?”

“It’s a long story,” Fenris replies. “Let’s just say I got lucky.”

The irony of that phrase isn’t lost on him. Having been a slave isn’t exactly something to be envious of.

—

Days turn into weeks with Lyra living in Fenris’s mansion. He doesn’t mind, necessarily, and he has enough coin to feed them both, but Aveline is getting antsy. It’s been hard enough for her to hide an elven adult squatting in a deteriorating Hightown manor; adding a child to the mix has only made the neighbors more suspicious. No one has contacted her about actually taking Lyra, though, even temporarily, so there’s nowhere else for the poor kid to go.

Besides, Fenris realizes that he actually rather likes her. She’s quick and clever, but he soon discovers that she can also be playful once she gets comfortable. Sometimes she asks him to tell her a story, only for her to argue with him the whole way through. Occasionally, he’ll find her trying to lift one of his weapons or playing with kitchen knives. She’ll sneak up on him to startle him or climb onto his back while he’s sitting and demand a piggyback ride—but she also listens when he speaks seriously and comes to him when she gets upset.

Fenris can’t watch her all the time, obviously, since Hawke is always bringing him on some sketchy mission or another, but that’s where Bodahn comes in. Lyra takes to him and Sandal immediately, and she seems to see Orana as almost an older sister figure. When he and Hawke return, though, she shrinks behind one of them at the sight of a human, a pitiful transformation from vibrant and animated to the terrified girl she was when Fenris found her.

Eventually she does warm up to Hawke, who still insists on visiting the mansion for reading lessons, but it takes some time. At first, she just sits on the other side of the room, watching them carefully without a word. It isn’t until Hawke’s third visit that she actually speaks to him, asking questions and making comments. Hawke, of course, takes it all in stride, and slowly but surely, Lyra starts to look at him not with fear but with awe.

After close to three years, the sessions aren’t so much “lessons” as “Fenris reading books to Hawke and occasionally stumbling over a word or two.” Fenris constantly reminds him that he doesn’t have to do this anymore, but still Hawke visits once a week, a grin on his face and a book in hand. “He’s just using it as an excuse to visit you,” Isabela said about it once, smirking, but Fenris didn’t quite believe it. He still doesn’t.

It’s during one of these sessions that Fenris notices something different about Lyra. She seems more subdued than usual—at this point, she’s gotten comfortable enough to make comments about the story they’re reading from underneath the desk, where she likes to sit and listen (while playing with Fenris’s toes). Today, though, she doesn’t say much of anything, not even at a major plot twist that nearly makes Fenris toss the novel across the room. He tries to engage her by asking what she thinks, but the most he gets out of her is a noncommittal grunt or a one-word answer.

At first, he figures she’s probably just grumpy. After Hawke leaves, though, Fenris hears her coughing.

“Lyra?” he says, peering underneath the desk. He finds her lying on the ground, cheeks flushed, breathing labored, forehead beading with sweat. At the sound of his voice, she gazes up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

Fenris tries not to immediately launch into a panic. “Lyra, how long have you been feeling like this?”

“Since...yesterday,” she says weakly. “Got worse...today.”

Fenris groans and runs a hand through his hair, mentally kicking himself. He noticed that she seemed drowsier than usual this morning, but other than that, she showed no outward signs of sickness. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want...to worry you,” Lyra says, closing her eyes and coughing again.

Fenris’s mind races, and the solution comes to him almost instantly. Breathing deeply and trying to sound calm, he says, “Listen. I’m going to take you to a human in Darktown. He is good at what he does. Nothing bad will happen to you.”

Lyra doesn’t protest. When he picks her up, her head lies limp on his shoulder.

—

The sun is almost below the horizon by the time Fenris reaches the clinic and shoves the door open.

Anders is the only one there, in the process of cleaning a bloody cot when he looks up and registers Fenris’s presence. “What—?” he starts, narrowing his eyes in confusion, before his gaze drops to the now-unconscious child in Fenris’s arms. “Oh, no.”

“Do something,” Fenris says, almost pleading.

Anders doesn’t hesitate. Gesturing to a clean cot nearby, he says, “Lay her down over there.”

Fenris spends most of his time in the clinic pacing back and forth, agitated, his focus always on Anders and Lyra. He should have noticed sooner. He should have paid closer attention to her. He should have made sure she knew to come to him. He should have—

“Fenris.” Anders’s voice breaks through his panicked thoughts. Fenris glances over at him, at the way his hands glow with bright blue light as they hover over Lyra. Without looking up from her, Anders says, “She’ll be alright.”

Automatically, Fenris breathes a sigh of relief and sits down on the next cot over, watching them. “It’s a pretty common illness,” Anders continues. “Children just aren’t as resistant to it because their bodies haven’t built up immunity yet. She’ll have to stay here overnight so I can keep an eye on her, but after that she should be fine.”

Fenris nods slowly. He’ll admit, Lyra already looks a bit better. “I...thank you,” he says, somewhat awkwardly.

“It’s nothing.”

For a moment, neither of them say anything. Then Anders finally looks up at him with the faintest smile and says, not unkindly, “You’ve gotten quite attached to her, haven’t you?”

That catches Fenris off-guard. He opens his mouth to deny it, but he can’t come up with any plausible excuse. It’s only been about a month and a half, but in that time he’s come to enjoy Lyra’s presence in his life. He hates to think of anything bad happening to her, and he’ll be sad to see her go with another family.

“I...suppose,” he mutters, but now that someone has actually said it, it can’t be ignored. He has gotten attached. It’s almost pathetic.

—

About two weeks later, Fenris learns that Varania is in Kirkwall.

When he returns from the Hanged Man that fateful day, Lyra bombards him with questions. “How did it go? What did she look like? Was she nice? What did you talk about? Am I gonna get to meet her?”

Fenris only answers the last one. “No,” he says brusquely as he opens the door to the mansion. “You will not get to meet her.”

Lyra frowns. “Why not?”

Fenris sighs. “Because sometimes there is a difference between being linked by blood and being family.”

He says it offhandedly, a statement filled with bitterness and loneliness, but as the words leave his mouth, he glances down at the child he’s been caring for and realizes that perhaps it’s true in more ways than one.

—

The next day, things start to fall into place.

Danarius is dead. He is free to do whatever he wishes. More importantly, though, Hawke is still there. Hawke wants to be there. As they talk, Fenris wonders if perhaps Isabela was on to something. He’s never felt such longing in his life, never allowed himself to—but Hawke has proven to be an exception more times than Fenris can count.

When they finally, finally kiss, Fenris feels his chest brim with something akin to hope. He can still have a future. He can still have a family.

As if on cue, Lyra waltzes into the room about four seconds later. “Ewww!” she groans, sticking her tongue out and immediately walking away. “I knew it! I knew you were like Mama and Papa! I knew it!”

Hawke and Fenris separate almost instantly. Fenris can feel his cheeks heating up. Hawke mutters, “How much tension must we have had, for even a four-year-old to figure it out?”

“Don’t underestimate her,” Fenris replies. “She is quite clever.”

Hawke nods and scratches his beard in thought. “You know, speaking of the future,” he says slowly, “what are you planning to do about her?”

Fenris pauses before finally speaking the ludicrous idea that’s been bouncing around in his head. “I’ve...been considering...keeping her. Raising her.”

He waits for Hawke to call him crazy, but it never happens. Instead, Hawke grins and says, “Two can play at that game.”

Fenris just smiles and kisses him again.

—

It happens a week later, at the estate.

One minute, Lyra is running around the house with Sandal. The next, she’s sobbing on the floor, despite not being visibly injured. Fenris and Hawke both rush over to her and kneel down to see her better. Sniffling, she says, “I can tell you anything, right?”

“Of course,” Fenris replies immediately.

“Okay,” Lyra says, wiping at her eyes. “I was...just playing with Sandal, but then…”

She holds her palms out. Almost immediately, a tiny flame starts to form at her fingertips. Fenris thinks back to Lyra’s mother, dead on the floor with a staff in hand.

Lyra buries her head into Fenris’s shoulder. “Don’t let them take me,” she pleads.

Hawke and Fenris exchange glances, but if he’s being completely honest with himself, there was never any doubt. Hawke is a strong mage, a skilled mage, raised by an apostate. If anyone can teach Lyra to control her powers, it’s him.

“We won’t,” Fenris says softly, pulling her into an embrace. “They will not take you from us. Nothing bad will happen to you.”

[deerlyloved]

Eliss Cousland, Queen of Fereldan, thieving rogue, and the love of Alistair’s life. Here’s some rambling about her under cut!

Commissions

Eliss Cousland was the second child of Eleanor and Bryce Cousland, and a tricky little kid since the day she learned the toddle around the floors. By three, Eliss had picked up hiding to give her nanny a scare, and by six she had learned to set up complicated traps to prank everyone from servants to guards to her own parents and brother. At 10, Eliss had taken up practicing with her bow and arrow to fill her free time and, in her mothers words, 'get her extra energy out', and she took to it like a fish to water. Though she was very much nobility, she's also very much Ferelden. Nobility in Ferelden are much different than the stuck up, posh nobility in Orlais (and other countries, actually), as Eliss got her first Mabari when she was 12 and hasn't lived a day without him since. Named Ven, the mabari hound was trained to be her ultimate companion and best friend, which meant he was just as trouble-making and mischievous as his owner. Tragically, her story follows that of the human noble origin, and the Cousland family was destroyed with the exception of her and her brother, Fergus, who had already gone to fight the Blight. Eliss spent months wondering if Fergus was alive before she submitted herself to her fears that he was not, and tried to fill the hole losing all her family left with her friends. All of her companions became her new family, and she refers to them as such, Morrigan often getting called 'sister', Sten being her 'big brother', so on and so forth. As she gained companions, she gained family, and to this day she considers all of her companions to be her friends... Even when Fergus turned out to be alive after the Blight. The Blight ended the best way Eliss could find, though it wasn't as perfect as she would wish. She became the Queen of Ferelden, ruling with her beloved Alistair, and none of her family died again. But things weren't perfect. Morrigan, with the godly baby now growing inside her, left the company of Eliss. She was tracked through tombs and caves, and found by the Queen eventually, and after a tearful goodbye and a promise to meet again, Morrigan left for good. Zevran decided to handle things with the Crows, and writes regularly. Eliss worries for her 'brother' deeply, and reminds him regularly that if he ever dares to miss a letter, she will personally go to Antiva and find him herself, probably leaving a trail of death and misery in her wake. He hasn't skipped sending a letter, and when he comes back years later he still passes small notes to her 'just in case'. When Eliss leaves, he stays near his friends, offering his services to the Inquisition later on. Leliana is appointed the Left Hand of the Divine, and soon leaves the company of her 'sister', and a similar situation with letters is taken with her, though with less threats of 'murdering everyone in my wake' considering it's the Divine. Wynne passes away, and while the details are... murky to Eliss, Leliana tells her she died well, doing exactly what Eliss would expect of her after all this time. Eliss visits her grave as often as she can, even when she disappears. Sten leaves and goes back to his people, and while he stops writing with Eliss after some time, she hears from her companions that he's become Arishok. She's proud of him, she thinks, she can't really tell even now. She just knows that she misses him more than she can express. The list goes on, but a few of her companions managed to stick close to Eliss, such as Shale, Zevran in later years, and, obviously, Ven. Shale has taken up residence with Alistair, acting as a sort of body guard for the King of Ferelden, while Ven typically stays close to Eliss and does the same. However, when Eliss leaves, all of the companions she's spent years with are shocked. Most try to find her, but all come up short. Ven seems the least worried of them all, probably because Eliss visits him regularly. For all of Leliana and Zevrans resources, they come up empty handed every time... When the Warden-Commander doesn't want to be found, she won't be. Before she left, Eliss did travel to Amaranthine, and she pooled every second she had into the land for a long time, eventually saving both the keep and the city, as well as all of her companions. During this, she recruited many companions into the Grey Wardens, though some just stayed with her for the friendship. Eliss was fond of Anders until the day she disappeared, and even tried to spar the warden that made him get rid of his cat when she found out about it. Even though she was long gone when the events of DA2 occurred, Eliss heard who was behind it all... And was proud. She was never sure about how she felt about it all, the Chantry, the Maker, but she was sure that she hated the way mages were treated, how Anders was treated, and she could follow the thought process herself if she was just drunk enough. Upon investigating in a most covert fashion, Eliss is horrified to learn that her old friend, Justice, had taken residence in Anders body, and she has a sneaking suspicion that maybe Anders never was behind it all in the first place. Since Eliss left, she's been all over the place, trying to find a cure to the Calling so that her and her love wouldn't perish as terribly as they were guaranteed to without one. She still pops in to see Shale and Alistair, although in a "covert" way, often scaring Alistair out of his skin when she appears from the shadows and falls from the rafters to ask him if he can fix her gauntlets cuff, pleaseee, she can't figure it out like he can. But, until the cure is found, the Queen of Ferelden is going to remain lost to the public eye.

[wyrdsistersofthedas]

Finding Flemythal

Flemythal!  Our icon!  The dea ex dracone.  Our Dragon Goddess Grandma!  So........what is her deal?

Honestly, we don’t think she is much of a ‘deep connection’ kind of person.  At least, not anymore.  

Consider her personal story: In the time of Elvhenan, Mythal seems to have been a fairly active goddess/leader, taking steps to prevent the other evanuris from doing massive damage to the elven people (looking at you, Elgar’nan and Falon’Din, in particular).  She, and apparently her priests, knew the secret greeting to gain access to Fen’Harel’s rebel bases, thus implying that she supported their efforts to some degree (along with her being bff-ish with Solas).  Mythal may have been working towards some kind of slow revolution while not totally undermining the old order (for good or ill).  

Then she is betrayed and murdered, inspiring a quest for vengeance that has spanned millennia.  What kind of treachery could create that level of anger and agony?  People Mythal truly loved and thought she could trust absolutely?  Comrades and companions, most likely.  Friends and family.  What would would that kind of betrayal do to your psyche?  

Combine that with the fact that afterwards Mythal manifests like a spirit wisp (probably similar to what she pulled out of Kieran) and is likely reduced to her most basic spirit-like behaviors, obsessive and eternal in nature.  Eventually she finds her way to Flemeth, whose grief and fury at her own betrayal echoes and calls to Mythal, creating a bond that shapes both into the being we know from Dragon Age.  Much of her existence is defined by the will to survive until she has her revenge.

After all of that she’s lived through, it’s unlikely that Flemythal is able or willing to create strong bonds with the people who come into her life, whether they are strangers who need her help, the Dalish who still worship her, or even her own blood.  Flemythal holds her own daughters at arms length, needing them to carry out her plans, caring about them in her way, but hesitant to trust them too much.  At least, if Morrigan’s experiences are anything to go by.

With Morrigan, it obviously didn’t turn out so well.  Yavana, however, embraced this approach, eventually fulfilling one of Flemythal’s goals of bringing dragons back into Thedas and adopting her mother’s more...mysterious mannerisms.

Flemythal’s suspicious nature (likely aided by her ability to read people’s history in the Fade, as she does with Anders and Fenris at Sundermount) allows her to foresee Morrigan’s murderous intentions via the Warden.  She also anticipates Solas’ actions at the end of Inquisition, sending some of her essence (the most Mythal flavored part, no doubt) through the eluvian in the postscript.  

All of this added up makes it unlikely that Flemythal is drawn to people through any deep connection.  Instead, she seems to be a master opportunist, making the most of each moment presented to her.  It doesn’t matter what the origin of the Warden is, Flemythal can steer them in right direction.  Whatever the background of the Inquisitor or the manner of meeting, she will make the most of that moment.  That is just who she is and how her circumstances have shaped her to be.  

Probably the best example of how Flemythal operates is when she meets Hawke.  A moment of curiosity brings an opportunity to perfect to pass up:

Even Flemythal is uncertain whether their meeting is fate or chance, but this unplanned moment is just the opportunity she needs in order to survive the Warden’s visit, in spite however the warden chooses to deal with Flemeth.  Did it have to be Hawke who took her “horcrux" to Kirkwall?  No.  Hawke is just some random person who was tough enough to take down an ogre.  That alone, however, was not enough to convince Flemythal that Hawke was worth helping beyond that moment.  It is only when Bethany/Carver says they are all going to Kirkwall that the pieces start to fall into place and Hawke becomes more than a passing fancy.

This is the true brilliance of the Flemythal.  This seeming stroke of luck obscures her contingency planning, which has layers and facets on a level only achievable by an immortal who has been burned too many times by other immortals.  Plans set in motion decades before pay off for Flemythal at just the right time to ensure she escapes Morrigan’s machinations.  

Flemythal is constantly looking over her shoulder and considering what could go wrong in the foreseeable future.  [And, btw, what is the appointment she needs to keep?  Most likely it is the Warden, but Morrigan may not be the only one gunning for this lady dragon.]  She believes that betrayals and setbacks are always a possibility, so she weaves a tapestry of favors and debts, compatriots and cronies, to ensure that her plans don’t fall completely apart.  [It may also be her nature.  She always offers them a “choice’, after all.]

Consider the case of the Sabrae Clan.  Flemythal knows where they are going in Origins/DA2 in spite of the fact that it has only been a couple of weeks at most since Ostagar when she runs into Hawke.  The clan is bound for Kirkwall, and more specifically, Sundermount.  But why the Free Marches?  The Sabrae clan has lived in or near Ferelden for at least half a century, and perhaps for many generations.  So why did Marethari take her clan to Sundermount?  World of Thedas 2 revealed that Marethari owed Flemeth a favor for helping the Keeper avenge her people against Avvar warriors who attacked them 50 years before. Hence, the Sabrae Clan’s journey to Kirkwall.  It was payback time for Marethari.

Marethari, however, was not entrusted with Flemythal’s “horcrux”.  [And it is worth asking why.  Would that have been too many eggs in one basket?  Morrigan is a little busy at that point so why so many precautions to keep the amulet safe?  Again, it may imply that Flemythal fears other pursuers besides her doubting daughter, ones who would recognize the soul amulet for what it is.  Flemeth does mention evading pursuit when Merrill calls her forth at Sundermount.  Again, Morrigan is in no position to keep tabs on her mother, so who is?  Solas?  Someone else?!  Fun speculation material for another time.]  Flemythal has no reason to believe that Hawke will fulfill their end of the bargain, and yet the fact that Hawke is traveling to Kirkwall and had no previous connection to Flemeth makes them the perfect courier.  Also...did y’all notice that Hawke didn’t have to wait for Flemythal to make her amulet?  She had it ready and waiting.  This is a lady who believes in being prepared.

There are reasons, however, why you feel like there is a link or connection between Flemythal and the people she comes in contact with, Nony.  Whether by chance or fantastic planning, she comes in contact with people on their way to becoming someone who will have a profound effect on Thedas, for good or ill. The Warden.  Hawke.  The Inquisitor.

This pattern continues into Thedas’ past, with Flemeth’s assistance to Calenhad, Dane, and Maric being prime examples.  With Calenhad we can see one of her centuries long plots unfolding: the Dragon Age.  Flemeth was born in 3:00 Towers, just 10 years before the Third Blight begins and about fifty years into the rule of the Pentaghast in Nevarra.  Both events likely shaped her life as a mortal woman and as an immortal being, but let’s spend a moment on the more opaque connection: the Pentaghasts.  

It’s likely that Cassandra’s family were already famed dragon hunters before ascending to Nevarra’s throne in 2:46 Glory.  From there, the practice would have grown with the substantial sized Pentaghast family.  By the time Flemythal sought out or was tracked down by Calenhad Theirin, it wouldn���t take a soothsayer to predict that dragons were in trouble.  It is very likely that Flemeth guided Calenhad to one of the last great dragons sometime before 5:33 Exalted, thereby entwining his fate and that of his descendants with her dragon plans.

The dragons were so important to Flemythal that she sent her daughter Yavana to watch over them.  Although there is no way to say for certain when Yavana began her watch over the Silent Grove, it would have to have been before the start of the Steel Age because she is associated with Queen Madrigal, whose murder inspired the name of the age.

The ruins in the Tellari Swamps were built after the fall of Tevinter (if we are going to put a date on Tevinter’s “fall”, it would probably be between Andraste’s Exalted March and the foundation of the Orlesian Chantry), specifically because there were already signs that dragons, especially Great Dragons, would be driven to extinction.  (Did early Andrastians hunt dragons?  That is very possible since dragons would have been associated with and revered by the Cult of the Old Gods.  Iconoclasm in the flesh.)  

It is very telling that Flemythal would involve herself with a group seeking to save dragons, “the blood of the world” (The Silent Grove 4, pg 10).  It is also entirely possible that Flemythal chose to make a bargain with Calenhad because he had proven to be wily, tough, honorable, but ambitious enough to make his goal of uniting Ferelden foreseeable to the Witch of the Wilds.  Tying his fate to the dragons seems like a gamble she would take and win in the end.

So how does this tie back to the original point?  

Well, you would think that if there were strong connections between Flemythal and those she touches on their way to infamy, she would take better care of the Theirins.  

Flemythal invested 500+ years into ensuring dragons’ survival.  She planted the seeds of the dragons’ return in the up and coming Theirin dynasty, but doesn’t seem particularly invested in how long they reign.  They were practically wiped out during the Orlesian Occupation and the line’s continued survival is shaky at best.  Flemythal even told Maric in The Stolen Throne (pgs. 81-82) that she didn’t care who stumbled into her swamp, be it him or Meghren.  If she was being honest and not merely ‘motivating’ Maric, Flemythal believed she could make due without Calenhad’s bloodline.  

On the other hand, she did check out the battle at Ostagar and pulled Alistair and the Warden out just in time to save their lives.  Was she watching the Warden?  Or was it the last Theirin she planned to save?  Alistair’s death would put a real damper on the recovery of the great dragons.  And yet neither Flemeth nor Morrigan makes any moves to save him if a steely-eyed Warden signs off on his execution.  Maric would have been with Yavana during the Battle of Denerim, but still, having a back up plan seems like a very Flemythal thing to do.  The fact that she does not ensure Alistair’s survival suggests that either she didn’t need him or didn’t anticipate the possibility of his death.  Which of those is the more likely scenario?  My gut says the former rather than the latter.

Perhaps Alistair was just the most convenient option for awakening the dragons.  Given how often the best laid plans go awry, it’s likely that Flemythal had several other contingency plans.  What, or who, those may be remains to be seen.  

Flemythal’s Future?

So what does all of this mean for future games, especially considering what transpired between Flemythal and Solas?  Well, that depends....  Is Flemeth dead?  Will Mythal pass to Morrigan, and would Morrigan accept the elven goddess?  Could Mythal seek out a new host?  We definitely have more questions than answers, at the moment, but we feel certain that she will be back in some form.  Her fate is deliberately ambiguous.  The scene notes from Inquisition’s post game scene suggest that Mythal’s god-hood will pass to Morrigan, but there is no guarantee that will actually happen.  The game writers and designers know we fans data-mine the games so it could be a red herring or it may turn out to be the real deal.  It could go either way depending on the needs of the story.

One thing the Wyrd Sisters agree on is that Flemythal is a great plot device; a deus ex machina character.  She ties themes from all three games together and has knowledge that is essential to future story revelations.  So whether we see Flemeth herself in future games or not, we can expect to learn more about her plans and to see Mythal again in some form.  

We also expect to continue meeting and reading about individuals whose destinies were influenced by the Witch of the Wild.  After all, extraordinary people cross her path with startling frequency.  But are these meetings Fate or Chance?  Even Flemythal can’t say which it is for certain.    

[askweisswolf]

tell me about your ocs! what is their favorite time of day, their hobbies, and most embarrassing fuck-up

I apologize inadvance that I only have three to gush about right now: a Warden Ifinished Origins, Awakening, and Witch Hunt with, a Hawke stalled outin Act 3, and a Shepard I just started over the weekend due to poorimpulse control. Let’s do this!

What is theirfavorite time of day?

Solom Tabris has been and always will be a morning person,much to the dismay of his cousins and the delight of his father. It’san old habit from his training days with Adaia that didn’t die withher, and it’s always been something of a mixed blessing; on onehand he’s usually up before anyone else so hey! Fire’s all set,breakfast is made, everyone gets to relax and talk while he’s onthe road. On the other hand oh Maker, he makes everyone feel so lazy.Even Wynne.

Also Morrigan has many, manycomplaints about this habit because she wants morning cuddles dammitSolom but she’ll never admit it out loud, so instead she justgrumpily follows him around when he gets up during the Blight andcomplains about him keeping her awake at an unreasonable hour.

(The only exception to this is onhis wedding day; a combination of nerves and anger keep Solom uplate, unable to sleep, and he ends up sleeping in quite a bit as aresult. This disorients him for most of the day, and delays hisnormal reactions when Vaughan and friends show up in the alienage.)

OlgierdHawke lovesnight, and not for the reasons most people expect. In truth, yes, hedoes like to go to the Hanged Man for an occasional drink and a gameof cards with his friends (even though he usually loses terribly atcards; he has an awful poker face and always cracks up when he gets agood hand), but that part of the night gets done fairly early. He’snot really a drinker and he can’t tell stories as well as Varric,so it isn’t long before a few hours pass and he heads home.

No,what Olgierd loves about the night is when it gets dark and quiet,and everyone else is asleep. It’s the only time everything in hisbody just seems to settle,and he can process everything that’s happened during the day. InLowtown, this time was spent formulating ways they could earn moneyfor the expedition and how he could stay one step ahead of thetemplars without endangering his family or Aveline; in Hightown heuses this time to answer letters, particularly after he becomesChampion. There’s something about the low light, the smell of ink,and the scratch of writing that helps him relax.

MackenzieShepard had a favorite time ofthe day once, maybe. He thinks. The truth is, ever since Akuze hisability to tell the passage of time has been shot to hell and back;he can recognize that it’s night or day, but it’s not reallysomething that clicks with him. Left to his own devices he won’teven be aware of the time passing, and as a result he’s programmedhis omni-tool to remind him of specific times or hours passed so heremembers to do things like eat and rest.

Ifhe was pressed, he would say his favorite time of day is when heknows the thresher maws aren’t active—but that’s specific toAkuze, and it’s difficult for anyone to track the times of day whenthresher maws will or won’t be active.

Peoplehave stopped asking him about his favorite time of day.

Whatare their hobbies?

SolomTabris grew up in the Denerimalienage, and while he can’t speak for every alienage in Thedas, hecan say that in Denerim song and dance were a huge part of theculture there. He’s never been able to sing, even though Sorisoffered to teach him and Shianni has a voice beautiful enough to beheard in the Chantry, and dancing has never terribly interested him.It’s too similar to fighting, and he finds it hard to focus enoughto differentiate the two in his mind.

Whathe can do,and he enjoys doing it greatly, is play music for Shianni to sing toand Soris to dance to. He has a lute back in Denerim that he leftbehind when Duncan recruited him, something he bought with his ownmoney, and while he understands the need for haste it always breakshis heart that he can’t take it with him when he leaves. He’sabsolutely delighted when Leliana purchases a lute during theirtravels to lighten up the evenings, and he often plays while shesings songs or tells tales.

Lelianalets him keep the lute, at the end of the Blight.

OlgierdHawke has always known he willdepend on his hands, as a mage. His hands are how he casts magic, hishands are where he draws his blood from, and without his hands hedoesn’t know what he would be. It’s no surprise, then, that hisfavorite hobby involves his hands like everything else does. He has ahunting knife from Malcolm, a gift from his younger days when heyearned to be a warrior, and when he isn’t using that knife for hisblood magic, he uses it to carve wood.

Nothingbig or magnificent, of course, oh no. Nothing like that. He only hashis knife and his hands, and asking for anything more would bedrawing eyes to him that he doesn’t want. Instead he picks up smallblocks of wood throughout Kirkwall, and in the quiet times betweeneverything else, he carves. He never has anything specific in mindwhen he starts, but he always ends up with something when he’sdone; he’s carved a mabari for Carver, a recreation of Wesley’sshield for Aveline, and everything in between. All of his friendshave wooden trinkets: a wolf for Fenris, tattoos painstakingly driveninto the wood to match what’s on his skin. A tabby cat for Anders,the eyes painted blue. What he imagines a spirit of wisdom to looklike, for Merrill. An arrow for Varric, though it’s too small forBianca. A slightly roughrecreation of the Prophet Andraste, for Sebastian.

WhenIsabela flees Kirkwall, the only thing she takes with her is the woodcarving of the Rivain country symbol he made for her.

MackenzieShepard likes to fix things.That feels a little expected of him to admit as a hobby, consideringhis profile in the Alliance as an engineer, but it’s true. Eversince he was a child, all he’s wanted to do is fix things;something he picked up from his father, encouraged and solidified byhis mother. He spends his childhood tinkering with toys andappliances Hannah can convince people to part with on space ships,and he never fully drops the habit as an adult.

Asa result, the crew of the Normandy take to carrying old fashionedthings that occasionally require fixing—old watches and otherthings that require being taken apart and put together. Nobody askswhy soldiers are purchasing slightly out of date toy sets, but it’sworth it to see how calm the Commander gets when he’s putting itall back together for someone; and nothing can describe the smile onhis face when a person sits down and asks him if they can help.

Whatis their most embarrassing fuck-up?

SolomTabris once managed to slip outof the alienage completely alone as a child, without his mother orfather. It wasn’t an accident; he wanted to get out, to see whatthings looked like beyond the small walls he’d known all his life,and it was easy enough to be quick and quiet when no one was lookingat him in the first place. All he had to do was stick close to amerchant passing through the area, keep his head down, and boom—hewas out of the alienage.

Hethen proceeded to get horribly lost in the Denerim market for therest of the day.

He’shungry, thirsty, and his feet hurt by the time he manages to get backhome. And of course, getting back into the alienage provesharder than getting outof the alienage. He hasto scale a wall somewhere to get in, and ends up falling head firstinto a bush. He’s quitecontent to stay in thealienage after that until his wedding day.

OlgierdHawke is young and horny whenhe decides it’ll be a good idea to use his magic to show off toconvince a local girl to sleep with him. It is nota good idea; they’reboth drunk when it happens to boot, so all his magic show manages todo is scare her so badly that she runs off in a drunken panic andfalls into a ditch somewhere. It’sa blessing in disguise, since once he pulls her from the ditch she’spassed out from the combination of fear and alcohol. Olgierd haulsthem both to a nearby barn, and tucks them into the hay for thenight.

Muchto his everlasting relief, she remembers nothing in the morning. He,on the other hand, becomes violently ill and terribly hungover. Andhe’s still avirgin.

Thewhole experience puts him off of trying to have sex for quite awhile,at least until he meets Isabela in Kirkwall.

MackenzieShepard is military born andbred, so for the most part he’s composed enough to avoid anyterribly embarrassing situations. That said, there is one moment thatties into his rescue from Akuze. He’s tired, hungry, thirsty, andhasn’t slept for days when the rescue team manages to find him;he’s quite convinced that they’re a hallucination, and a signthat he’s going to die.

Onthe plus side, he doesn’t panic and try to kill them.

Hedoes spendan annoyingly long amount of time arguing with them about whether ornot they’re actually real, an argument that lasts until one of themgets close enough to tranquilize him. It’s not something that isterribly funny at the time, but once he’s made some measure ofpeace with Akuze he can look back on it and laugh, at least.

[icharchivist]

still, for all that is about DA that is kind of just “I play it like that because that’s how i feel”, and the fact my characters all have a rather Neutral Good moral compass, I still love that I can really feel the difference between my characters?

Long OCs ramble bc I can wouhouh!

Kurai, my very first Warden, a Dalish Elf, was probably the character I thought the least about because she was my very first character and I was suuper confused by the story. But still, she was a good person. She had a huge sense of honor, and she was respectful until people weren’t with her, in which case she would end them. She was a warrior, she was upfront. She was kind and compassionate, but she was also probably my most moral character. Since she was saved by the Wardens, she has great respect for their order, knowing she could have died. So to her, fighting for the greater good is an honor. While realizing how much work is ahead, she stood proud and wasn’t afraid. She had to do it. That’s probably why her and Alistair ended up being an item, they work out of each other there.

Laven, my second Warden, a City Elf, was much more cynical. She was bitter, she knew the world wasn’t fair. She wanted to do good, but if she had to get her hands dirty, she would. She would fight for the underdogs, and she would insult those she deemed unworthy. She was a free electron in her own way (which in a way is why it doesn’t bother me in dai that she did leave alone with Zevran to find a way against the Calling without warning anyone, seems like her). Also, ye, her romance with Zevran just fits her so much, since the ending of Awakening having her running away with Zevran in Antiva to fight the Crows by his sides is 100% her. And in the end, she mostly did everything because she was dragged into it for the worst way possible and there was no way she stood by when the world was falling apart. She would fight with her frustration and anger, but wasn’t scared. Too bitter for that.

The best parallelism between Kurai and Laven is how they both handled meeting the King and arriving to the Landsmeet. While Kurai didn’t like Shems, she knew she was out of her elements meeting the King, so she was respectful, knowing she was living by others people’s rules. In the Landsmeet, despite her dislike for Loghain, she stayed contained and calm knowing the stakes. Laven, however, insulted the King the first time she saw him because she was angry at how everything was in Denerim, and she was bitter. She’s been taken away because she brought justice, she won’t be any nice now. The fact the King showed regrets touched her in a way, but she was still angry. And in the Landsmeet, she made all the aggressive comments possible against Loghain and Howe, because her blood was boiling, and damn the consequences. She has come this far, it won’t be for Shems to take it away from her.

In a way Laven is probably my most ruthless character - and despite that she still was quite kind and nice. I still did every morally good things I could. But i also picked up all the stealing and stuff quest because that’s how much she didn’t care. She became the Dark Wolf too, which is neat.

Alma, my Hawke, was a Green/Diplomatic/Helpful Rogue, and she was just. Trying so hard. My reasoning was always that, she was always there for her family. She was overprotective, she took all the burden she could. She would get aggressive if you threatened her family. She’d get charismatic in order to distract people from her world falling apart, or to distract them from her sister. So she was cracking jokes from time to time, she was easy going, but always full of duty. She ended up being extremely involved in mage’s rights because she would have done everything for her sister. Once she was taken by the circle, this became even a stronger feeling.  So it did lead her to get close to Anders more easily because she felt strongly about his plight. And why the ending of the game hurt her this much, because it wasn’t the way. She was respectful and kind, sometimes snarky, aggressive if you hurt what she loved, she was taking the burden of the world on her shoulders, and ended up being defeated by it. In a way, Alma was positive. she knew from the begining she was in a corner, and tried to fight her way out of it with a smile on her face, and the world did everything to have her crumble until she couldn’t take it anymore. She’s by far the most tragic one.

And finally Laena, my Inquisitor - She was anxious from the start. None of it was ever meant to happen. It’s not like she liked the Circle, but she had a place and a very small world to take care of until the rebellion. Hell, the fact the Circle was such a small world isolated her, she was in no way ready to deal with the Whole World, she wasn’t meant to. Her survival at the Conclave is a miracle, and immediatly after that, she was asked to stand and fight. She realized she had no choice pretty quickly, but she was devasted from the start. A survivor’s complex in a way, she was the only one who made it out - and people would say it was because she was chosen and it freaked her out. She wasn’t worth choosing. She didn’t want to be chosen. The revelation that all was just dumb luck is even worse, because she doesn’t consider herself special, she didn’t walk this path willingly, nothing prepared her for that. And now so many people lay her hope on her, and it scares her. She has to act strong, to help everyone, people are expecting so much of her, and she knows she can’t show weakness. But she was completely unprepared for this mess, and even now that all is over - especially now that all is over - she is completely lost. Where to go now, how to make it all work? This is frightening. And she has to stay collected, to give people’s hope, but at what cost? But she will always feel like it’s not her place, like she cannot judge, that she wasn’t made for this. And, that’s why I could see her fall for Cullen too. As an advisor he was always giving her advice, always helping her doing so. She could let her guard down around him, she could tell him how she only felt terrified, and he would reassure her. He brought her reassurance and stability, and she knew he wasn’t expecting of her to do everything on her own. He brought her the comfort she needed. His own fears of not being strong enough, of fucking up again, of letting people down, resonated with her and they could help each other out. It brought comfort.

I played all of my characters to be rather nice, pick good choices, fighting for those who needed it. And tbh I was kinda scared that maybe it made them all too similar but I end up thinking about it, and no. They are all so different.

Kurai was proud and strong, and even if slightly scared at time, she stood tall and her bravery took over everything. She knew she had to do what she had to do and she did it.

Laven was bitter and furious at life. She did what she had to because there was no way she was going to show defeat. She wasn’t scared, she was angry, and if her life hadn’t defeated her until then, it’s not an archdemon who will.

Alma was optimistic, sweet and kind, funny and gentle, but the world around her did everything to break her. To make her unable to carry it on. Alma ended her journey sad, and left alone. Also in my timeline I had her kill Anders, her lover, so it’s like, kind of horrifying for her too. Everyone and Everything pushed her world to fall apart, and the whole World blamed her for it. She went from optimistic to defeated, sad, heavy, wondering if it even mattered, if how much she sacrificed was even worth it.

Laena was anxious from the start - scared. She was unsure and still is unsure. Nothing reassured her, everything just added weight on her shoulders, weight she was never meant to carry, something she knows happened just because of her compassion and dumb luck. So now she’s trying to hold it all together because that’s what people need of her - and she realizes that the world needs her, even if she doesn’t know how. More than all the others, she relies on the people around her. She tries to stand tall, but unlike Alma who did it to convince herself it’ll be okay, she does it solly for people’s around her.

And I really like that, despite their similitudes, I feel so strongly for each of them. I am proud of each of them so much.

I was also kinda scared I self projected on them in a way, since it always end up happening creating ocs, but their differences make up for what I think. It’s kinda funny dkjhdjfk I see a bit of myself in all of them. Kurai’s gentleness, Laven’s frustration, Alma’s trying to handle the world crashing down with a smile while she’s herself crumbling, and Laena’s anxiety and urge to carry on when she never asked for it, despair contained by her duty to others. I love them all.