#laventabris

[icharchivist]

still, for all that is about DA that is kind of just “I play it like that because that’s how i feel”, and the fact my characters all have a rather Neutral Good moral compass, I still love that I can really feel the difference between my characters?

Long OCs ramble bc I can wouhouh!

Kurai, my very first Warden, a Dalish Elf, was probably the character I thought the least about because she was my very first character and I was suuper confused by the story. But still, she was a good person. She had a huge sense of honor, and she was respectful until people weren’t with her, in which case she would end them. She was a warrior, she was upfront. She was kind and compassionate, but she was also probably my most moral character. Since she was saved by the Wardens, she has great respect for their order, knowing she could have died. So to her, fighting for the greater good is an honor. While realizing how much work is ahead, she stood proud and wasn’t afraid. She had to do it. That’s probably why her and Alistair ended up being an item, they work out of each other there.

Laven, my second Warden, a City Elf, was much more cynical. She was bitter, she knew the world wasn’t fair. She wanted to do good, but if she had to get her hands dirty, she would. She would fight for the underdogs, and she would insult those she deemed unworthy. She was a free electron in her own way (which in a way is why it doesn’t bother me in dai that she did leave alone with Zevran to find a way against the Calling without warning anyone, seems like her). Also, ye, her romance with Zevran just fits her so much, since the ending of Awakening having her running away with Zevran in Antiva to fight the Crows by his sides is 100% her. And in the end, she mostly did everything because she was dragged into it for the worst way possible and there was no way she stood by when the world was falling apart. She would fight with her frustration and anger, but wasn’t scared. Too bitter for that.

The best parallelism between Kurai and Laven is how they both handled meeting the King and arriving to the Landsmeet. While Kurai didn’t like Shems, she knew she was out of her elements meeting the King, so she was respectful, knowing she was living by others people’s rules. In the Landsmeet, despite her dislike for Loghain, she stayed contained and calm knowing the stakes. Laven, however, insulted the King the first time she saw him because she was angry at how everything was in Denerim, and she was bitter. She’s been taken away because she brought justice, she won’t be any nice now. The fact the King showed regrets touched her in a way, but she was still angry. And in the Landsmeet, she made all the aggressive comments possible against Loghain and Howe, because her blood was boiling, and damn the consequences. She has come this far, it won’t be for Shems to take it away from her.

In a way Laven is probably my most ruthless character - and despite that she still was quite kind and nice. I still did every morally good things I could. But i also picked up all the stealing and stuff quest because that’s how much she didn’t care. She became the Dark Wolf too, which is neat.

Alma, my Hawke, was a Green/Diplomatic/Helpful Rogue, and she was just. Trying so hard. My reasoning was always that, she was always there for her family. She was overprotective, she took all the burden she could. She would get aggressive if you threatened her family. She’d get charismatic in order to distract people from her world falling apart, or to distract them from her sister. So she was cracking jokes from time to time, she was easy going, but always full of duty. She ended up being extremely involved in mage’s rights because she would have done everything for her sister. Once she was taken by the circle, this became even a stronger feeling.  So it did lead her to get close to Anders more easily because she felt strongly about his plight. And why the ending of the game hurt her this much, because it wasn’t the way. She was respectful and kind, sometimes snarky, aggressive if you hurt what she loved, she was taking the burden of the world on her shoulders, and ended up being defeated by it. In a way, Alma was positive. she knew from the begining she was in a corner, and tried to fight her way out of it with a smile on her face, and the world did everything to have her crumble until she couldn’t take it anymore. She’s by far the most tragic one.

And finally Laena, my Inquisitor - She was anxious from the start. None of it was ever meant to happen. It’s not like she liked the Circle, but she had a place and a very small world to take care of until the rebellion. Hell, the fact the Circle was such a small world isolated her, she was in no way ready to deal with the Whole World, she wasn’t meant to. Her survival at the Conclave is a miracle, and immediatly after that, she was asked to stand and fight. She realized she had no choice pretty quickly, but she was devasted from the start. A survivor’s complex in a way, she was the only one who made it out - and people would say it was because she was chosen and it freaked her out. She wasn’t worth choosing. She didn’t want to be chosen. The revelation that all was just dumb luck is even worse, because she doesn’t consider herself special, she didn’t walk this path willingly, nothing prepared her for that. And now so many people lay her hope on her, and it scares her. She has to act strong, to help everyone, people are expecting so much of her, and she knows she can’t show weakness. But she was completely unprepared for this mess, and even now that all is over - especially now that all is over - she is completely lost. Where to go now, how to make it all work? This is frightening. And she has to stay collected, to give people’s hope, but at what cost? But she will always feel like it’s not her place, like she cannot judge, that she wasn’t made for this. And, that’s why I could see her fall for Cullen too. As an advisor he was always giving her advice, always helping her doing so. She could let her guard down around him, she could tell him how she only felt terrified, and he would reassure her. He brought her reassurance and stability, and she knew he wasn’t expecting of her to do everything on her own. He brought her the comfort she needed. His own fears of not being strong enough, of fucking up again, of letting people down, resonated with her and they could help each other out. It brought comfort.

I played all of my characters to be rather nice, pick good choices, fighting for those who needed it. And tbh I was kinda scared that maybe it made them all too similar but I end up thinking about it, and no. They are all so different.

Kurai was proud and strong, and even if slightly scared at time, she stood tall and her bravery took over everything. She knew she had to do what she had to do and she did it.

Laven was bitter and furious at life. She did what she had to because there was no way she was going to show defeat. She wasn’t scared, she was angry, and if her life hadn’t defeated her until then, it’s not an archdemon who will.

Alma was optimistic, sweet and kind, funny and gentle, but the world around her did everything to break her. To make her unable to carry it on. Alma ended her journey sad, and left alone. Also in my timeline I had her kill Anders, her lover, so it’s like, kind of horrifying for her too. Everyone and Everything pushed her world to fall apart, and the whole World blamed her for it. She went from optimistic to defeated, sad, heavy, wondering if it even mattered, if how much she sacrificed was even worth it.

Laena was anxious from the start - scared. She was unsure and still is unsure. Nothing reassured her, everything just added weight on her shoulders, weight she was never meant to carry, something she knows happened just because of her compassion and dumb luck. So now she’s trying to hold it all together because that’s what people need of her - and she realizes that the world needs her, even if she doesn’t know how. More than all the others, she relies on the people around her. She tries to stand tall, but unlike Alma who did it to convince herself it’ll be okay, she does it solly for people’s around her.

And I really like that, despite their similitudes, I feel so strongly for each of them. I am proud of each of them so much.

I was also kinda scared I self projected on them in a way, since it always end up happening creating ocs, but their differences make up for what I think. It’s kinda funny dkjhdjfk I see a bit of myself in all of them. Kurai’s gentleness, Laven’s frustration, Alma’s trying to handle the world crashing down with a smile while she’s herself crumbling, and Laena’s anxiety and urge to carry on when she never asked for it, despair contained by her duty to others. I love them all.

[icharchivist]

it’s probably past midnight speaking but this is the best line i’ve ever written.

I should never have ever stopped writting.

[icharchivist]

I can't believe Alistair immediatly assumed she talked about Oghren i'm yelling