#its so funny i love it so much ive spent like a week just looking at these

[umblrspectrum]

i love this brand of image so much

[cheftsunoda]

no im not in love — ln4

smau

lando norris x !best friend singer reader

yn and lando have been best friends for years— they have also spent those years doing things that ‘best friends’ don’t. morning cuddles, stealing kisses, sleeping together, getting jealous when the other is spotted with someone else. yn releases a song and fans pick it apart…noting it to be about lando. will this cause the two to finally admit that they love each other?

obviously based of the tate songgg

fc : madison beer and various pinterest girlies

⚠️not proofread! slight angst, gets a tiny bit steamy, blah blah⚠️

draft for yall while I proofread and fix part 4 of heal your heart

—

“swear im only sleeping at your house— six times in one week— cause its convenient.”

f1gossipgirls

248,275 likes.

f1gossipgirls : Singer YN LN leaving Lando Norris’ place six days in a row this week — coincidence or something more? The longtime best friends, who’ve known each other since their early teens, have fueled romance rumors for years. With this kind of consistency, fans are wondering if the ‘just friends’ label still applies…

—

username00 : lando! blink if your in love

username10 : she is always there…I don’t think this is out of the ordinary for them. she always pops up in his streams so we kind of know she is there

username5 : he was seen at a restaurant with magui last week too so idk

username7 : 6 days…in a row…this is more consistency than I have with my own employer

username17 : me pretending to be shocked while I’ve had a wedding pinterest board for them since 2019

username20 : the greatest situationship of our generation

username22 : that man is in love I will not elaborate

—

“are you coming over later?” lando asked over the phone and i chuckled to myself.

“i might as well move in at this point,” i said, and felt a smile creep onto my face.

“already made that offer and you said no,” he said, a teasing edge in his voice.

i rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, my heart doing that annoying flutter thing it always did when he got like this — casual, but with just enough meaning to keep me spiraling.

“well…”i trailed off, biting my lip. “that was before you started bribing me with morning coffee and back rubs.”

“you forgot the part where i let you pick the movies and stick your cold feet on me,” he added, smug.

i laughed. “okay, true. honestly, i am starting to think you want me to move in.”

there was a pause — not awkward, just weighted — like he was thinking about how honest he wanted to be.

“i do,” he said simply. “i like having you here.”

that shut me up real quick. for a second, all I could hear was the sound of my own pulse in my ears.

“well,” I said, voice slightly higher than I intended, “guess I’ll start bringing more than just an overnight bag.”

he laughed, soft and warm. “good. ive already got a spot cleared out in the closet.”

—

“Only kinda dressing like you now— ‘cause your clothes they fit me — and that’s good reason.”

yn_ln added a post to her story!

seen by alexandrasaintmleux, lando, maxfewtrell & 2,376,299 others.

lando : looks so much better on you anyways

liked by yn_ln

alexandrasaintmleux : hmm…still at his place…in his hoodie?

liked by yn_ln

yn_ln : yes mum 🙄

liked by alexandrasaintmleux

alexandrasaintmleux: that’s funny…same thing I do with Charles WHO IS MY BOYFRIEND

liked by yn_ln

yn_ln : speaking of charles- tell him to stop being nosey

liked by alexandrasaintmleux

alexandrasaintmleux: WHAT HE SAY FUCK ME FOR - charles

—

i wasn’t planning to steal it.

but there it was, draped over the back of his couch — navy blue, soft-looking, and very obviously worn in. his favorite one. definitely the one I always “borrowed” and conveniently forgot to give back.

i glanced over my shoulder. lando was still in the kitchen, humming to himself and completely unaware of my criminal intentions.

i grabbed the hoodie and pulled it over my head. it smelled like him — some combination of expensive cologne, laundry detergent, and whatever shampoo he used that I secretly liked more than mine.

just as i was admiring myself in the mirror by the door, arms swallowed whole and sleeves dragging over my hands, i heard him behind me.

“oh, really?” he said, amused. “that’s your hoodie now?”

i turned slowly. “possession is nine-tenths of the law.”

he narrowed his eyes. “you are unbelievable.”

“and yet,” i said, tugging the sleeves over my fingers with a grin, “you still like me.”

he rolled his eyes but crossed the room and stood in front of me, eyes flicking down to the hoodie.

“i liked that one.”

i stood on my toes and kissed his cheek. “you still do. you are just sharing it now.”

he gave me the look — the one that meant he was annoyed, but also very clearly melting.

“you know you’re not getting away with this, right?”

i shrugged. “too late. ive already imprinted on it.”

—

“every friend of mine—I told them the same— no im not in love”

“so,” alexandra said, sipping her mimosa with an innocent smile, “how’s your new apartment been?”

I blinked. “My new what?”

Kika leaned forward, chin in hand. “lando’s. six nights this week, babe. we have a group chat. we have been counting.”

i nearly choked on my drink. “okay, first of all, you have way too much time on your hands. second, we are best friends.”

lily raised an eyebrow. “friends who do what, exactly? morning cuddles? sleep together? kiss each other? share clothes? share socks?”

i gaped at her. “that was one time—he had cold feet!”

kika smirked. “he has cold feet, and you’re in love.”

“i am not in love,” i said, louder than necessary, which of course made all three of them lean in.

alexandra tilted her head. “sure. you just smile at your phone every single time he texts you and you wear his clothes like you don’t have a whole closet of your own.”

i opened my mouth. closed it. opened it again. “its a nice hoodie!”

lily grinned. “and he’s a nice man. who makes you pancakes and lets you sleep in his bed.”

kika raised her glass. “to yn and lando— her completely platonic live in boyfriend.”

alexandra clinked hers with a laugh. “who she’s not in love with, of course.”

i groaned and dropped my face into my hands. “i hate all of you.”

“lies,” lily sang. “you love us. just like you love—”

“don’t say it.”

“—landoooo,” all three of them said in unison, full chaos energy.

i sighed. “you are impossible.”

kika winked. “so is pretending you’re not head over heels. just admit it, and we’ll buy you matching mugs.”

—

“And I don’t hate every girl your eyes go to.”

f1gossipgirls

284,265 likes.

f1gossipgirls : After weeks of swirling rumors, YN LN and Lando Norris have finally stepped out… just not with each other. Lando was spotted getting cozy with model Magui Corceiro, while YN was seen out with none other than Magui’s ex, footballer João Félix. Coincidence? Petty? The plot thickens.

username00 : be so for real right now. there is no way this isn’t intentional. YN OUR PETTY QUEEN.

username5 : yn really said fine you want her?? ill get with her ex

username7 : I need to achieve this level of petty bitch some day

username14 : i know alex and kika are somewhere screaming rn

liked by alexandrasaintmleux and kikagomes

username00: OH they r CREEPING

username22 : call me delulu but this could just be for pr

username15 : this is so iconic im screaming

—

yn_ln

liked by kikagomes, charles_leclerc, joaofelix79 & 4,285,257 others.

yn_ln : life lately

—

kikagomes : you are so hot come kiss me

liked by yn_ln

yn_ln : on my way!

charles_leclerc : Floki and Leo play date sometime soon? 😌

liked by yn_ln & joaofelix79

yn_ln : absolutely!

joaofelix79 : a mais linda😻

liked by yn_ln

username00 : damn she really said lando won’t commit?? hard launch

username7 : her and joao lowkey look so good together

username14 : no lando like…that is how you know he is pissed

username15: I went through 5 years of her posts and this is the only one with no Lando like

pierregasly : who is that beautiful woman you are playing chess with??

liked by yn_ln and kikagomes

yn_ln : my girlfriend :)

liked by kikagomes

pierregasly: should’ve known I’d get that response

—

“you didn’t have to post that photo,” lando said, not even looking up from his phone.

i glanced at him from across the room. “what photo?”

“the one with João. the one where he’s practically breathing on your neck.”

i rolled my eyes. “it is called posing, lando.”

“oh, so now it’s posing?” he scoffed. “looked cozy to me.”

i crossed my arms. “right…because you’d know all about looking cozy. how is magui, by the way?”

his head snapped up. “don’t bring her into this.”

i laughed, bitter. “oh, I’m sorry. was that hitting a little too close to home?”

“you are being ridiculous.”

“and you’re being possessive for someone who swears we’re just friends.”

that shut him up for a second. Then he said, quieter, “m’not possessive.”

“really?” i said, stepping toward him. “because you’re acting like I cheated on a boyfriend I don’t have.”

he stood up too, jaw tight. “maybe i wouldn’t care if you weren’t acting like you’re suddenly in love with João fucking Félix.”

i stared at him. “and maybe i wouldn’t care if you didn’t light up every time she laughs at your jokes.”

“you know what?” i muttered, grabbing my jacket. “this is dumb. you do whatever you want. do whoever you want.”

“already have been,” he snapped. “and so have you.”

i was halfway out the door when he called after me, voice softer but stubborn. “you’re the one who said we were just friends.”

i paused, turned slightly. “yeah. well. maybe that was a mistake.”

neither of us said what we really meant. the tension in the air said enough. touching.

—

“I’m not bothered looking up your exes — Matter fact we could probably be friendses.”

twitter!

f1gossipgirls : Oh? YN LN hanging out with Luisa Oliveira — Lando’s ex — in Monaco today? Did not have that on my bingo card.

username2 : guys calm down— her and luisa have stayed in touch since her and lando split. they are always interacting online

username5 : no bc if my ex and best friend were having a meeting about me id cry and never been seen again.

username7 : giving “we both survived the same man”

username10 : forget the drivers. the wags have taken over the season.

username8: yn pls drop a selfie with luisa with the caption “his taste is consistent” PLEASE

—

—

“we got the same taste that ain’t my fault”

it supposed to be a solo coffee run. no drama. no tension.

i pushed open the door to the little corner café, the bell chiming like it always did, and stepped inside—only to immediately bump into someone coming from the opposite direction.

“oh—sorry, I—” my voice caught.

lando.

he froze too, holding two takeaway cups, one already half-spilled from the impact.

“hi,” he said, blinking like he wasn’t sure i was real. “i—wow. hi.”

i swallowed hard. “hey.”

we both stood there, awkwardly, in the narrow doorway, neither moving. my heart thudded. this place — this stupid café — had been ours for so long that it felt wrong seeing him here and not being with him.

“i didn’t think you still came here,” he said, voice low. “not without me.”

“yeah,” I said quickly. “i didn’t. not really. just—craved it today.”

“guess we still have the same taste?” he said and looked down.

“and I just spilled one of yours. cool.”

i couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out. “you always did have terrible coordination off-track.”

he gave me that sideways smirk i hated how much i missed. “says the girl who once tripped literally just over air…many times.”

“that was one time.”

“it was three.”

the silence after that wasn’t heavy like before. it felt like it always has.

“i miss this,” he said suddenly, glancing around the café, then at me. “i miss you.”

i looked at him then — really looked. the tired eyes. the nervous thumb tapping the side of the cup. the way he kept stealing glances like he was afraid i might disappear if he blinked.

“i miss you too,” i admitted.

he exhaled. like he’d been holding his breath for weeks.

“i was stupid,” he said. “about the fight. about João. about everything.”

i bit my lip. “i was too. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“i know,” he said. “i didn’t mean to lose you.”

A pause.

“so don’t,” i whispered.

he looked at me like the world tilted back into place. then held out one of the remaining coffees — the unspilled one. my usual.

“still how you like it?”

i nodded, smiling. “perfect.”

and for the first time in weeks, things felt right again — no explanations, no drama. just us. at our table. in our café. where it all began.

—

“if i slip and i somehow say it — you should know in advance, im wasted.”

the bass was shaking the floor. lights pulsed, the air smelled like overpriced tequila and victory, and someone — probably charles — had just climbed onto the DJ booth screaming “he finally won one!”

lando was glowing. sweaty, flushed, champagne-soaked, still in his tee with a medal crooked around his neck. everyone was celebrating like it was the first time F1 had ever seen a podium. maybe it felt like the first time. especially to me. he found me through the crowd, grinning, eyes already glassy with drunk adrenaline.

“there you are,” he said, stumbling slightly as he pulled me in with one arm. “did you see me? like actually see me?”

“hard to miss when you were standing on top of the world,” i yelled over the music.

he laughed, messy and wild, like it was pouring straight out of his chest. “could not have done it without you.”

“lando, i didn’t even—”

“you were there,” he said, serious now, crowd and noise fading behind us. “you are always there. i look for you first.”

i froze, heart stuttering. “you are drunk.”

“yup,” he said. “but not wrong.”

and before i could say anything, before i could stop him or stop myself, he leaned in and kissed me — champagne-flavored, heat-drunk and reckless.

it was a little too fast. a little too desperate. but, it felt right. like something we’d been circling for too long.

he pulled back first, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe it either. “was that—?”

“stupid,” i said quickly.

he nodded. “yeah. super stupid.”

then kissed him again.

—

lando and i barely made it into his hotel room before his hands were back on me, clinging to the zipper on the back of my dress. his lips sucking on my neck and i let out a light moan. he gently pushes me back onto the bed and crawls on top of me.

“ive wanted this for so long.” he admits before his lips brushed against mine.

“me too.” i stuttered as i felt his hands explore me.

before i knew it — we were both undressed and pressed against each other.

“you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked.

“please- lando. i want you.” i said and a smirk appeared on his face. i feel him inside of me and his lips are attached to mine again.

“i-i love you.” i muttered through my moans—not fully realizing what i said.

“i love you more. always have.” he whispered in my ear, driving me crazy.

—

my head was pounding and i could barely open my eyes but as i did i noticed lando beside me. this obviously was not rare but he was…naked. i gasped to myself and looked around the hotel room. our clothes mixed on the floor. i stared at myself in the mirror and noticed hickeys from my neck down to my mid chest. i sighed— trying to recall the events of last night.

last night.

the win. the club. the kiss. the aftermath.

his hands. my shirt on the floor. my heart in his hands.

the words — god, the words.

“i love you.”

i said it first. then he said it back. too fast, too real, too drunk.

but also… not drunk enough to lie.

i carefully untangled myself, trying not to wake him, and grabbed the nearest hoodie i could find — his, obviously — before tiptoeing into the bathroom. i was halfway through drinking water straight from the tap like a gremlin when i heard his voice, raspy and half-asleep behind me.

“you left the bed.”

i turned. “you were starfishing.”

he gave a lazy smile. “you didn’t run.”

“nope, still here. still processing.”

he nodded, rubbing his hands over his face. “same.”

“we said somethings.”

“yeah,” he said blinking at me. “we did.”

“im sorry- i don’t- know. i was drunk.”

“don’t apologize. i meant it, yn.” he said.

“so did i.” i said with a sigh of relief.

“i love you, yn.” he said and pulls me into the bed holding me.

“good because if you said you didn’t i was just gonna throw myself off the balcony from embarrassment.”

“so dramatic, even hungover.” he chuckled, kissing my head.

“consistent…and in love with my best friend apparently.”

“good to hear…I’ve been in love with you for ages.”

—

f1gossipgirls

523,377 likes.

f1gossipgirls : Lando Norris and YN LN caught getting rather steamy in the club after his most recent win.

—

username00 : the audacity to make no im not in love about him and then DO THIS

username2 : well this is one way to make up with your friend after a fight

username5 : me pretending I’m happy for them when really I’m pacing my room like a victorian widow

username7 : You KNOW Lily and Kika are already planning the wedding. Alexandra’s making the guest list. Soft launch era is over.

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, kikagomes, lilymhe

username8 : CAUGHT CREEPING AGAIN

username14 : I don’t care about the driving anymore— need a whole season of this

—

yn_ln

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lando, carlossainz55 & 7,205,210 others.

yn_ln : okay I lied im in love with my best friend but stream no im not in love about your situationships!!!

—

username7 : girlie we been knew

alexandrasaintmleux: never tell me im wrong ever again— but im so happy for you bb!

liked by author

lilymhe : good thing I started planning the wedding like 3 years ago

liked by author

kikagomes : lost my wife 😭😭

liked by author

yn_ln : you still have me mamas

lando : ive loved you since i first laid eyes on you

liked by author

charles_leclerc : I catch a stray for being nosey when you literally LIED

liked by author

yn_ln : haha sorry charlie…😀

—

lando

liked by yn_ln, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri & 2,373,289 others.

lando : she loves me so much she made a song to convince the world she didn’t 😎

—

oscarpiastri : good im tired of seeing you mope around the paddock

liked by yn_ln

lando : now you get to watch me smooch yn all the time

oscarpiastri : goodie

maxfewtrell : took you both long enough

liked by yn_ln and lando

carlossainz55 : im glad you both remembered the next morning bc I couldn’t break it to you if you didn’t

liked by yn_ln and lando

—

🐞💐🌺🦋☀️🌷🌞🌟💫🌻⚡️

[leftoverbriocheloaf]

13 for wip ask game??? pretty please with a cherry on top??

OMG IVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE ASLKDJLKAJD

Ok so first I have to come out as a huge fan of the isekai genre,, especially when a character is "reincarnated" as the villain of the story

And I've always wanted to write my own version

Ok I'm gonna put the snippet first for context and then I'll yap about it lmao

__________

It would have been funny if he weren’t so tired. And annoyed.

Perhaps it would have been funny if it happened to someone else.

Either way, there wasn’t much Edgar could do about it. If nothing had changed in the week since he’d arrived, he doubted much would change at all. 

He wasn’t usually so slow on the uptake, but he figured this once was fine. After all, not many people expect to wake up in a story after being hit by a car.

Compared to most of the stories he read, he probably got lucky. This story had a happy ending, after all. A classic royal adventure story, where the protagonist is adopted into an important family and faces trials as he attempts to become worthy of the crown. It had its flaws, but it wasn’t designed to be a particularly deep novel. More of a guilty pleasure story, where everything worked out and the villains got what they deserved, leaving the protagonist and his friends to live happily ever after.

Under different circumstances, maybe Edgar would have been alright. It wasn’t like he’d had much going for him anyway. A dead family and an office job that was just about as far from what he was passionate about as it could be, Edgar would be the first to say life just hadn’t worked out for him. It was fine, he supposed, but not what he’d wanted. 

So maybe this could have become a good thing. Another chance, or something like that. Plenty of people would do anything for another life, wouldn't they?

…Except for the fact that he was going to die. 

Rather brutally, in fact. Stabbed right through the heart– not exactly a fate he found himself looking forward to.

In the original novel, there were three major antagonists. The first, a girl by the name of Lucy Maud Montgomery. Of all three, she suffered the most misfortune, manipulated and scapegoated until she simply couldn’t take it anymore. The second, King Fitzgerald. A man who started off with a virtuous goal that later warped into a feverish desire for power. And the third, the one who stared back at him in the mirror– Allan Fitzgerald. A truly irredeemable man, who used both Lucy and the King for his own gain, and who single handedly orchestrated a war against the protagonist’s kingdom to get revenge on one man.

The story spent most of its time illustrating the path of the main character, which made sense. Unfortunately, that meant Edgar's own story wasn’t exactly clear. From what he’d been able to piece together over the past week, the story following the villains went like this:

King Fitzgerald adopted Allan Fitzgerald many years prior to the events of the novel. His wife, the queen, was incredibly sick. Bearing a child would have put her health in danger, or killed her outright, so they adopted. They chose a sickly child, one that would likely stay by himself and would avoid social events without making them seem like uncaring parents. 

In her defense, from what the novel suggested, the queen was a kind woman. She probably would have treated Allan better, if she could have. Unfortunately, she could rarely get up from her bed. The king, almost obsessively in love with her, adopted Allan to get the pressure off of their backs to produce an heir, but had no intention of raising him as a future king. Or raising him at all.

This was because of the Fukazawa family. A fairly recent neighboring family, who rose to power because of their possession of an artifact—one that granted the user eternal life and health. The family, however, refused to use the artifact, opting instead to protect it from people who would use it for evil. While eternal health seemed lovely in theory, to the family, it was unnatural and had to be avoided.

Obviously, King Fitzgerald disagreed.

He tried diplomatically asking for it, once. At King Fukazawa’s stern refusal, Fitzgerald decided the only way to get it would be through… less diplomatic means. He adopted Allan to bide time, hoping to get the artifact for his wife and be able to have a biological family to take the throne.

About a year before the events of the novel, the king adopted Lucy Montgomery. While she was given the Fitzgerald name officially, no one ever truly acknowledged her as a member of the royal family. This was because Fitzgerald adopted her with the intention of marrying her off immediately. The king hoped that with an engagement between Lucy and a member of the Fukazawa family, he would be close enough to steal the artifact from under their noses. A gross underestimation, but not exactly Edgar’s problem.

Allan Fitzgerald, however, hatched his own plots in the meantime. After overhearing Fitzgerald talk about the artifact, Allan decided he wanted it for himself, to make himself healthy again. At least, that was what the protagonist assumed he wanted. In reality, Allan wanted to get revenge on the first prince of the Fukazawa family, who insulted his intelligence six years before. Losing the artifact to an enemy kingdom would drag his reputation through the dirt, and Allan would finally have a satisfying resolution to his rivalry with the only person able to match (or exceed) his intellect.

Allan found immediate use in Lucy, slowly feeding her lies about the protagonist and causing her jealousy and anger to spike. The protagonist, who was also adopted, was showered with love that Lucy never got. Allan convinced her that if she killed him, Fitzgerald would finally see value in her, and after some time, she gave in. She was executed soon after, her attempt at an assassination gone horribly wrong, and neither the king nor Allan went to the execution.

With Lucy gone and the protagonist alive, Allan switched tactics, quickly convincing a mentally-decaying Fitzgerald to declare war on the Fukazawa kingdom. Unfortunately, the same prince that first insulted Allan all those years ago put together a plan to combine the forces of the Fukazawa kingdom and the Port alliance, despite the two’s prior disagreements, and together they defeat Fitzgerald’s forces. The former king is killed during the fight, and Allan is killed by the first prince, who revealed that he never bothered learning the man’s name.

So, all-in-all, Edgar wasn’t particularly keen to continue along that path.

__________

So eventually (after Lucy is adopted) Edgar hears a commotion outside of his window and looks down and sees a few maids harassing her and that she's standing in front of something, trying to block it from the maid's view

Edgar basically remembers that Allan becomes a villain bc he sees Lucy as a means to get at Ranpo

So obviously he's like I should NOT interact with her. Keep me as far away from canon as possible.

Unfortunately he's got morals and the fact that she's young and doesn't deserve the awful things that happen to her makes him go down and stop it

Turns out Lucy was protecting a raccoon!! A baby raccoon that immediately latches onto Poe, and Lucy freaks out bc she thought "Allan" was a myth bc she never saw him, but he actually defended her!! And Poe is like shit.. that's my little sister now

So hes forced to be a part of the novel and decides he's gonna give Lucy a better life than she would have lived lmao

Unfortunately every time I try and determine a fixed plot this fic gets longer and longer, so I have a few scenes written out but there are SO many I haven't written that this ones gonna take a while 😭😭😭Im estimating 2035

Anyway TY FOR ASKING I've been wanting to rant about this one forever askljdlkajds I'm obsessed with anything royal 🎉🎉

[bluebirdlester]

notes & thoughts from philm club 10/19/15!

THIS IS SOOO NOSTALGIC TO ME this is the era where i was catching most younows live! i am 95% sure i saw this live at 15 years old! i am 24 now! i have included a vintage phanniecore image from the time period! lets reflect!

dan ripped his jeans at tatinof leeds. so the wad time wasnt the first time

anahita mentioned omg where is she now. with her 20 trillion younow bucks or whatever that stuff was

“you know what i mean” and fluffing his hair in that one specific way is 2015 dan’s “what can i say” while checking an invisible watch

friendiversary. oh babes......

“we’re pal creators” :)

another thing dan used to say: “this guy” while staring into the camera and gesturing at phil. nowadays he just screams

“went to sheffield, that was lols” dan loves to say shit

WHAT DID DAN WHISPER. INFURIATINGLY ALMOST AUDIBLE. LIP READING EXPERTS ?

“ive had the fire on” potential gas leak stream, love you london apartment 1

WHY DID IT TAKE THEM 30 MINUTES TO MENTION THAT APPARENTLY TABINOF HAS JUST COME OUT?

‘as if you guys have coffee tables for our book’ WE DO NOW BITCH, WE'RE OLD! (i dont. actually.)

instantly calling it the bible. well that hasnt changed. the phible

OH MY GOD I HAVE SUCH VIVID MEMORIES OF TAKING AND HAVING PICTURES OF MYSELF WITH THE INSIDE COVER OVER MY FACE LIKE THAT. BUT I JUST SPENT LIKE 20 MINUTES LOOKING AND ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FIND THEM!!!!! lost media.

i did find this though: a relic of the time. 2015 snapchat face swap filter, anyone? [i do want to post this accursed artifact bc its funny but not without having directly next to it: im a grown man now, dont she/her me]

dan describing phils eye color i could never think you were straight my 2015 king

"well done phiw" words i remember deep in my soul

not directly related to anything happening, i just thought about it: i saw a post the other day about how dan and phil spent their 20s being silly for the enjoyment of 12 year old girls on the internet and have been thinking about it ever since. i just wanna hold space for a moment of appreciation for that. idk if it was yalls experience but i got a lot of misogyny based shame of my interests because of the whole societal "anything a teen "girl" likes must be inherently ridiculous and made fun of mercilessly" thing [especially related to dnp watching] but they never had any sort of resentment for that position never did anything but be patient with us and love us and give us nice things to chew on. thank you danphil <3

"get over it. get over it. get over it. get over it. you cynic. get over it. right right right right so what? he enjoys a themed drink from a coffee chain thats everywhere. get over it, get over it." dan relax. why do i remember this specific part so vividly. was this in a vyou1 compilation that i watched over and over like cocomelon

dan on evan peters in AHS: "id be his victim" i see you

47:30 PHIL IMITATING DAN'S HAND GESTURES WHILE HE TALKS ABOUT THE WALKING DEAD I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS CLIP A FEW WEEKS AGO BUT HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE TO GO LOOKING FOR IT!!!!!!!

god this was the era of free and haikyu real ones remember dans body pillow

pop culture of 2015 reviews

"phils got an agenda!" why do i rememeber posting "phil has the gay agenda" after he said that. we were so annoying in the 2015 times

chair quiz all depends on the first question. if im hungry its cheese and i get purple. if not its trees and i get green

phil "sneaking in" a "phil and dan" hes so cute

them snorting at each other "that was a deep sinister pig" they have never changed

(THIS POINT ONLY) TIT PRESHOW PLAYLIST SPOILERS IF ANYONE GIVES A FUCK the way they loved our singing to toxic so much that they make sure to give us a big singalong right before the show on every preshow playlist now.... hot to go <3. i heard a recording of an early show where it was good luck babe and thankfully i think they realized that good luck babe is really hard to sing and made it hot to go ever since then

time to get parasocial dan used all his phone data so he had to use phils hotspot. surely they just have the same phone plan now

WAD foreshadowing my boy is talking about the apocalypse

phil is going to go cook dinner??? an era before deliveroo??

dan talking about uploading on dinof it was a different time

ok those are my thoughts!!! im a newish phannie blog (not really. i had one on my old account in the 2015 era which i dont want to use anymore cause i was 15.) so welcome feel free to hang out etc

[gittetj]

hi there! i spent the last week or so binge reading the end of the world as you know it & i must say im absolutely obsessed!! i really really love the way you write characters: canon, ocs and the ones in-between canon and original. honestly your fic has exactly what i love in fanfiction, it explores the characters really well, is mostly canon compliant while also telling your own story, great length for binge reading... the ocs.... omg the ocs.. i love ur ocs so much its not even funny. original characters in fanfiction are usually a delight & im so excited to see where everyones character and story arcs lead... excited and TERRIFIED.

anyways, you know how shou is friends with a bunch of girls at school. well, im from poland and here some people call boys who only hang out with girls, especially in school (especially elementary/middle school), Raisins. its rodzynek in polish. your teacher would see a boy being friends with girls and say "haha x is a raisin how cute". so its not derogatory in any way, just sometimes used to point out how someone sticks out like a sore thumb in a group (could probably be used to describe a girl hanging out with boys, i just had a very girl-filled childhood lol). well i recently remembered this phrase as i was reading your fic & ive been calling shou a little raisin guy in my head. these girls really saw the dude and found their token guy friend. rodzynek......

well, i hope youre doing good! have a great day, loved reading your fic & cant wait for more, whenever its ready!!

Ahaha, thank you so much! This made me smile, gosh

Yeah, Himiko really saw Shou and said wow, look at this weirdo. He's our weirdo now. And then he was! Teenage girls get really intense about friendship sometimes, I felt like he could use some of that.

Also, rodzynek, ha, that's kind of adorable. I don't think we have a nickname like that in Danish, but you can be a "pigernes ven" (friend of the girls, literally) which is also not derogatory.

I'm editing the next chapter as we speak! Pray for me that it won't take too much longer. I feel like this particular chapter is cursed - even before I was physically blocked from working on it for half a year, it had given me trouble so many times.

I'm excited to get it out there, though. Stuff happens! Important stuff!

[xamaxenta]

More soft marcoace stuff bc I love themmmm

Ace notices after a while of them being together that Marco tends to spend more time than usual in his Phoenix form whenever hes stressed/anxious/overwhelmed/overworked/just having a bad day- it's easier to avoid small talk when you're a bird, and easier for marco to defend himself or those he loves if they fall under attack, or if someone is just annoying him the Phoenix has much less qualms about just squawking angrily in someone's face. Ace notices that Marco's spent the majority of the day in bird form, and when its finally time for them to turn in for the night, ace makes his way to Marco's room and softly knocks on the door. Marco's perched on the edge of the bed, still in his bird form, feathers ruffled, talons fidgeting with pent up stress. Ace brought a peace offering snack, just a bowl of seeds and nuts and berries, things he knows the Phoenix likes, and he sits patiently on the bed next to him as Marco pecks away, and when hes finished Ace motions for him to come closer so they can snuggle. Marco eyes him hesitantly, gives a questioning little shake of his wings- silently asking if it's ok for him to stay transformed like this. It's okay, ace tells him, just be yourself, whatever that feels like right now- and the next thing he knows hes got a lap full of very happy bird. Marco sprawls over him, cooing contentedly, resting his beak against aces neck to feel his pulse. Ace gently strokes his feathers, straightening them out, and marco melts under the attention. Marco drifts off, finally calm after a hectic day, and Ace can't help but conk out shortly after. When he wakes marco is curled around him, feathers nowhere to be seen, snoring softly with his head pillowed on aces chest and looking more relaxed than he has all week <3 (I'm sorry this is so long and rambly I'm just insane about them and I have no one to share with 😅😭)

THIS IS SO ADORABLE WH

Thank you for being insane about them and for sharing with ME bc i love them too much

Ace would never turn Marco away if he wants to remain in phoenix form, if that’s what makes him comfortable and keeps him sane and decompresses him then why not? The part about being a phoenix and having an excuse to be nonverbal is so cute but also has a potential to be super funny considering Marco can project his voice normally when fully transformed

But i like to think it takes conscious effort to do that, so its why no one has questioned it, besides its always uncanny to see a gorgeous bird hanging out and then its beak opens and this dudes voice comes out no lip sync nothing like thats probably wild af to see and experience

Also Ace LOVES how soft n light Marco is in phoenix form, NOW HE can put his arms around him all the way

Not that Marco doesnt try with his magnificent wingspan but Ace takes feathers to the facr and merges through the flames by becoming fire himself

Lidsten… lissen… listen… the way that Ace can actually merge physically with Marco is legitimately the most romantic thing ive ever encountered for a pairing ive enjoyed it consumes my thoughts constantly its so intimate yet can be platonic and purely emotional and personal to them

I loveeeee

[aryanightshade]

IV.

This Episode of Stranger Things is Called: Floor Is Lava

-

{you have four new messages}

“Hey, Eddie. It’s Wayne. Your Uncle Wayne. I was surprised to hear from you. It’s been a while. I, uh, you didn’t leave a number to call back, so I asked around town about you. Heard you’re renting a place from the old sheriff. Thought that was a little funny. You know, with how much you gave me the runaround as youngster. … I hope you’re doing okay, son. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me.”

- - - -

Eddie doesn’t puke from nerves, but it’s a near thing.

It’s Wayne.

Checking in.

It’s an immediate upset to the already delicate emotional equilibrium he’s managed to achieve after freaking out Steve’s porch, and it makes him spin in circles, frothing with panic, like an animal with its leg caught in a steel trap, drawing blood from his own panicked movements.

Wayne.

Wayne found him. After Eddie had made it so goddamned difficult, too. After he gave Wayne a virtual middle finger when he vanished into the night without a word with nothing but big dreams and his own teenage arrogance.

Damn that stubborn old man.

Eddie steps out onto the porch, hovering under palter shelter offered by the eaves from the summer rain, and sucks down cigarette after cigarette until his fingers are frozen and shaking and his pack is empty.

I hope you’re doing okay, son.

Wayne found him. He called.

Down across the yard, the Harrington house is still and lightless. They must be out and about, playing in the water. Eddie flicks his last butt away, watching it spin in lackadaisical circles in a puddle before vanishing between the boards of the porch. Why did Wayne call him back? He doesn’t owe Eddie anything. Anything at all. Eddie was only ever a nuisance, dumped on Wayne’s porch by Indiana CPS when his dad got arrested for his umpteenth DUI or whatever other shit he was involved in that week. Growing up, Eddie spent more time in Wayne’s trailer than not, and those months not being ping-ponged between shitty apartments in Indianapolis were definitely the most stable stretches of his life by a long shot.

Until now.

He sort of owes Wayne a response, doesn’t he?

That being said, Wayne and Eddie are two people astonishingly ill-equipped to have an emotionally probing conversation about anything.

Oddly, Eddie finds his conversation with Steve ratting around the inside of his brain, clattering like loose change in a dryer. About staying here. In Hawkins. About toughing it out. About this being worth it.

He makes toast for El, then a piece for himself, turning the nauseating idea over in his mind. If they stay here, in Hawkins, for longer than a few months, and that’s a big fucking if, then Eddie has to deal with this. He can’t just keep pretending Wayne doesn’t exist.

Eddie knows Wayne cares about him, deep down, under all the tough love and gruffness. He’s not stupid, but a little part of him, the part that’s a total fucking coward always looking for the easy way out, was sort of hoping that maybe Wayne had given up on him completely and they would never have to have this conversation. The whole sorry I disappeared and got a girl pregnant even though I’m a flaming queer and got then got addicted to heroin after she died because I didn’t know how else to get it to stop hurting conversation.

Yeah.

That.

Right.

Eddie shoves the rest of his toast into his mouth. It tastes like glue.

Read on Ao3

[blissfullybloomed]

Letting Go

October 2024, Ohio - The leaves are in peak season. In case you haven't been outside in a minute. 

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, whatever time you seem to find yourself reading this blog. 

I haven't written in a while here, life has been lifing. 

If you’re just tuning in…lol, I watch too many Youtube Videos with my boyfriend, you'll love to know that this blog is about my journey, your journey, our journey together but separate through this little game they call life. 

I think my last blog entry was almost a year ago, December 2023. 

2023 was wild, and the previous 5 years were wilder…(hmm, is that a word)

It's funny, I keep saying that 2023 was the year I transformed into some sort of “better” being…but man, I feel like I could say that about 2024 as well. I think that's a lesson I had to learn quite recently actually…being better has no end date. We constantly strive to be better, even on the less productive days…we're still learning(being still isn't our strong suit). Did you catch that? Being better or improving has no end date…nada. The only way it does have an end date is when we stop trying to be better. We all know what happens when we stop trying. It's not a good look. Temporary pleasure for long term pain….Ehh, I'd rather not. So…we take a real deep breathe and blow it out, maybe take another one…and take a step forward. 

Okay, enough preaching…lets chat about so many things…you know I like to talk. 

First topic, lets talk about letting go. I'm pretty sure Ive spoke about letting go before, but I know I havent talked about it in this light. So buckle up…its going to be bumpy. 

We, as humans, are social creatures. Some of us are on different levels than others, but inadvertently we are all social to some extent. Example: Gaming Online with friends(introverted activity/social concept). Another example: The obvious social butterfly who goes home alone. We all have different versions of what social looks like. 

I almost forgot where I was going with that, but here it is…our social interactions are NEEDED to let go. We have to do something different to let go. We have to put ourselves outside of ourselves to let go. 

It doesn't matter what or who it is that you are trying to let go. You can't negate your human nature. It's impossible. No one can sit in a room by themselves for an extended amount of time, and not go insane from lack of socializing. It doesn't even have to be vocal …just another person's presence brings your serotonin up. 

Being social is in our roots as a species. So with that in mind, I want you to ask yourself this question: “ How can socializing help me move past Xcompany, Xspouse, Xhouse…etc.” Well youd get a job, you might meet someone new, and your house may get an upgrade….BUT, all of those things require you to let go of what or who once was. 

You get the point. 

Here's my “bloomed” story. The short one. 

I have faced 2 big hurdles in my healing journey. 

I have reconnected with my mother, we spent a week together, and were cool. As you know, that's huge for both of us. Wild ride getting there…like years long….but we did it, and I think we're in it for the long haul. Weve both done different things that we had never done to make sure our relationship stayed in tact. Even when we both wanted to walk away. I think the biggest thing that really showed me that she wasnt full of shit was the fact that her actions were bigger and louder than her words. She helped a friend of a family member that I NEVER thought she wouldve done….thats dope. She flew back for my birthday with like 3 days notice(I have a flair for the dramatics)...that was dope. She met Zach, and slept on our couch! YEAH! That right there gave me hellllllllla anxiety…but it was dope too. 

So, in all seriousness, momma…I love ya. Life is hard, but without you it would be so much harder. I mean that. 

Second thing, It took almost three years…but I went back to Myrtle Beach. Yeah thats different. So many reasons that y'all already know of why I couldn't go there…I just needed more time or something. OR so I thought.  

Listen, the drive was about 10/11 hours, but my favorite part was the last hour. I drove through a city I hadn't seen in over 5 years, and the funniest part….when I saw it…I just started laughing. 

I couldnt tell if it was my anxiety making me laugh or the fact that I was a better human fucking being entering this city now 5 years later. I think it was a combo of both honestly. I cant begin to describe what that felt like…I'm trying... .I can't find the words. Speechless. Hmm, maybe profound is a word that could describe it. 

Anyway, I knew at that very moment that I could do this trip with no problems at all. I forgot how much I loved the south. All of it, even the heat…to a point. 

What a relief. I let go. I had let go before I even knew I had let go, because I refused to test myself . I was so scared of things I had built up in my mind that would definitely , not probably, happen. I knew I'd run into my ex husband somewhere, in a town full of tourists, and millions of people…that was an irrational thought that dictated a decision I made. I knew, without a doubt, that I would remember the pain of losing my sister as soon as I entered South Carolina. That didn't happen either. I saw shiny roads, pine trees, and the ocean….as she got to experience those things too. Mom was so good at making sure she was included. 

Irrational thoughts and manic actions had in one way form or another prevented me from letting go. Letting go of the what if’s, and just being present. Remembering that I had loved the ocean before I got married or divorced. South Carolina wasn't a failure…it made me grow. I literally wouldn't be who I am today….without South Carolina. So my mom inadvertently helped me discover one of the biggest hurdles I've dealt with since my divorce.  Kinda dope she did that too. 

HA! I said it was short, I lied. My bad. 

Alright, what else is there to update? Zach and I are doing great. I could probably write a whole page about that man…but I won't embarrass him like that. Just know, he is still IT. I knew it the moment we met. Funny…I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night, but I can remember what we both were wearing the day we met over a year ago. Damn, I love this man. 

We've taken some trips recently that were pretty dope. We do so much together…I'm truly happy about that, as we've both said work gets in the way of hanging out. Das love right there. Like actual love. The kind where you both put effort in to make it work. I feel we are extremely lucky , we understand each other in a way no one has ever understood me ... .sorry family…but not even you guys. He just gets it. All of it. I get him too. Our lives intertwined at the perfect moment for both of us. We needed each other, and still need each other. 

Okay, okay…Ill stop gushing. I tend to do that often. 

Moving forward…the thing I want you to take away from all of this- learn to let go better. Learn to let go permanently. Do it for yourself. Think of all the time you're wasting not doing something different to overcome whatever IT is. Be selfish. Choose YOU. You're the only one that can do the work …and honey, its work. Every day. Every decision. Damn near every thought has to be pushing you towards your goal of letting go. 

I want to end with this poem by Stefanie Briar, “ Surrender” 

One of the hardest lessons

Is learning the difference 

Between when to hold on

And when to let go. 

At some point, 

We have to trust

That souls know their way home. 

What is meant for you will find you ….

And stay. 

I think that sums up pretty well how to view letting go. This was good today. I appreciate you taking the time to read…and hopefully youll think of something you can just let go.

[1d1195]

sam you are the sweetest person in the world actually, thank you so much🫶

STEAL MY GIRL MUSIC VIDEO IS SUCH A NICHE THING I FEEL LIKE ITS ALMOST AN INSIDE JOKE it’s sooooo funny every time i watch it i’m just laughing SO REAL WITH LOUIS AND THE CHIMP i remember watching it for the first time and seeing harry in the fucking trench coat and genuinely getting worried like “hmmm it’s too hot for that, hope he’s okay😕” BABHSHAHAHAHAHA zayn and the sumo wrestlers ALWAYS gets me

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING SOOOO HARD AT THE "SAMANTHA -🎶" YOU GET ME😭😭 i think i read all dolcezza like the same week you posted the last part, and it’s a good thing i did cause ooooo girl….😮‍💨😮‍💨you woulda drove me crazy

I THINK I SAID THIS ONCE BUT IM NOT SURE AND IF I DID IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO BUTTTT THE SERIES THAT BROUGHT ME TO YOUR PAGE WAS ACTUALLY MADE TO BE🥹🥹🥹🥹 and i came from PART 1 !!!!! (ironic considering my aversion to waiting lol) i tuned in every week to read the new part and back then you were updating on sundays and i stg i would get soooo giddy (i was in SHAMBLESSS between chapters having to wait a week😭) and yea…after that series ive been stuck here like a leech LMAO

on the topic of waiting on chapters i started traditional like right after you’d posted the second to last chapter and O.M.G. AHAHAHAH ITS SO FUNNY LOOKING BACK BUT I WAS ACTUALLY GLUEDDD TO MY PHONE👀👀 WAITING FOR THE NEXT PART CAUSE THEY HAD GOT IN THAT FIGHT AND I WAS SOOO HOOKED and then i woke up one morning and it was out, guess how i spent my breakfast & coffee time😭

i’m just rambling at this point BUT YES !!! YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW APPRECIATED YOU ARE !!! i remember back then i wasn’t doing the best and lots of things were changing but i always looked forward to reading the newest chapter. i read in one of your recent asks about how you decide what you write based on engagement (which makes total sense) but you feel like you get a lot of non-interacting readers. this is true and it really sucks but i guess it’s the reality of posting on a website like this. however, i will gladly take the time to say what they won’t and AHHHH SAM YOURE AN AMAZING WRITER I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US YOU MATTER SOOOO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW 💕💕💕💕💘💘💘💘💘💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗💗

i cried while finished “Love & Other Words” 😪omg i didn’t see that coming but it was SOOOO. GOOD. like….i sat and stared at the book with a small smile after i finished it kind of good. i will DEF been rereading that I LOVE THEM😭😭 THAT SCENE WHERE HE SAID “I’ll take anything you give me. Is that pathetic?” I SCREAMED they’re so precious and i looooveddd the way it was written!!! i just sped through it and i love when books feel like that

it has also been storming here, like so bad the electricity went out a few weeks ago and if u go out when it’s sunny you will melt. not a fan of summer right now🙄 SO happy to hear you’re feeling more relaxed, hopefully that stays till at least the end of summer. pasta is yummy !! i like my pasta dishes w a lotttttaaaa cheese :)) ive been boring too, dw. just a lotta reading on my end cause i am notttt in the mood to talk to anyone lately, vry antisocial (i also started my period last night ??? maybe that why lmfao😭)

sorry for this behemoth of an ask, thank you for chatting HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVE YOU <33333333

~🎶

I DREAM about Harry in that trench coat. A fashion icon. I love him so much in that (and everything). I totally forgot all about the sumo wrestler piece of it I was so focused on the chimp and Louis. Louis' smile in that is my FAVORITE thing in the world. It was SO pure.

hehehehehe well, I'm happy to report that Part II of Most will be up tomorrow afternoon. She's longer than I thought I could do but here we are. After writing it, I think Part 1 and Part 2 would be a good read. I don't think it will drive you crazy the way Dolcezza would have drove you crazy.

OMG. I apologize if you DID say it, but I feel like this is new information to me. I'm so so sorry if I forgot. BUT STILL. I haven't thought about Made to Be in a REALLY long time 😭 I loved it for so long after I finished writing it. It was a huge part of my life. You've been here for a while, that's so cute and nice to hear 💕 I'm so glad you liked it

You are so so sweet. I am so grateful for you compliments.

IS THAT PATHETIC made me want to SCREAM too. I love Elliot so goddamn much I could CRY. He is my ideal man. My new story is Love & Other Words coded for sure 🙈 I didn't mean for it to happen but then I think I told you I got it back from letting my sister borrow it and I couldn't stop rereading the whole "I'm pathetic part" like OMG I'm 😭😭 so distraught about it STILL. Everything about that book is perfect.

I am summer's least favorite fan. The heat makes me so sticky and gross feeling. Also, I don't look good in summer clothes (or I feel gross about myself, whatever) ANYWAY. I love a good antisocial mood tbh. I feel so obligated to be on and around everyone all the time. And what's worse is I let myself be available. I JUST started getting better at not checking my work email outside of work hours. My sister and mom need me LITERALLY all the time. My bf and I are home at the same time so I just never get a MINUTE to myself. I have to like hide in my own apartment to get any alone time. So yeah. I can't get my brain to shut off lately to read but I've been doing some hard work on the writing here so I'm hoping that will help--also been doing a GREAT job binging TV. I think I just want to keep reading romance stuff and not all the like "interesting" books I've bought and haven't read 😭 It's the only way I'm going to get through this bookshelf of mine 😂

I love the chatting and the long asks so no need to apologize or thank me. I hope you have a fantastic Monday! LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💕

xoxo

[dustvoid]

05.07.24

thought I would not write in journal for a change. feeling so flat and defeated at the moment. so lost and frustrated and overwhelmed. underestimated how hard it would be here. still can't find a job and think I just chose a bad time with the election and it being summer and the market is slow. I just don't want to waste anymore time any money being here without a job but I don't want to go home and have it all be for nothing. I don't want to have come here for nothing. I'm really making a dent in my savings and it's starting to stress me out. I hate worrying about money but ive only been here 6 weeks and ive spent so much already. I know majority has been on rent which is astronomically expensive, but I had hope id maybe have some money coming in by now. I know I can't call it yet, but if I don't have a job by the time this sublease ends I will have to. I can't just spend all of my savings living here but sitting around and doing nothing. waiting. I hope it doesn't come to that because at this point id probably do anything. funny how a few weeks ago I was the opposite. but desperate times. its rainy and gloomy. a rainy summer. which I think is not really helping my mood, but at least I don't have to feel bad about staying in.

I thought that back home a lot of the gay community held themselves to high standards but over here it is something else. back home you can have an average to fit body but here I feel like you can't be gay if you aren't fit. I havent felt this low about myself in a long time. you never really notice it until you start looking back and reflecting. I know that bodies change and that's inevitable and the pandemic didn't help either. before it all happened I was stick. I was probably too skinny. a couple years in I was still quite slim, and then the last few years my body has changed a lot. I'm glad in some part because I do want to be stronger, and I have filled out a bit, but I only really noticed how bad body dysmorphia can be. I know I'm not big or overweight but I have too much body fat for my bmi. I know it probably happened in the pandemic because naturally we werent moving as much and lots of people were in the same boat. but I think my metabolism is shot. my diet has not helped either. I am a bored eater. I love to snack when I'm bored and it's a terrible habit. I don't really eat when I'm sad or for comfort, but I will eat anytime when I need something to do. and now I just feel like I'm paying for it and I feel even less comfortable in my skin. I have never been that confident but now it feels worse. I am trying to change it. I have signed up for personal training and I just had my first week but I have no idea how im going to afford it, especially if I don't get a job soon. realistically I shouldn't have done it because of my financial situation, but when I saw I was at risk because of my body fat I felt like it needed to be done. I want to look good and I'll admit that openly. I do want to feel good as well. I'm trying to change my diet and snack less. I think I have been walking at least 10k steps a day so it's a bit disappointing that I dont feel or look any different. which could be from my diet before I changed it. diet is so important and I wish I could have just changed that earlier. but I am starting now. its sad but I feel like ill have more of a chance meeting someone in better shape. its just how the world works. its not like I can't meet guys now, but you are treated better when you are fit and you attract more guys, its how it is. at the moment I feel like the guys that like me I'm not interested in and the guys I like are not interested in me. but who knows why really. its just that pretty much every gay guy here has a decently fit body and I feel like I need to change to at least have some chance. ive always wanted to improve my fitness anyway. if I can improve my diet and follow the training then I should be on track to lose a good percentage of body fat in 4-5 months. which at this rate is not long at all. time is moving so fast, soon it will be my birthday and June will be over. I will probably spend my birthday alone but it's only my 28th birthday. maybe I can take myself out to somewhere nice. if it was on the same day as my netball game I could've at least asked some of them out for a drink after, but sadly its the next night and I don't know if I will feel close enough to any of them by then to ask. I was hoping id at least have someone by now, a flatmate or friend to hang out with. it's just another day, kind of how ive always felt about them anyway. I think my plan is to return home before my and all my friends 30th birthdays in 2 years. which is wild to think about. of course this could change and I have no idea what will happen until then, but I think 2 years is a reasonable amount of time. a lot can happen in 2 years.

-H.

[starrystar]

Transcript:

29

Purple speckle background

Also, I could just not look at social media if I wasn’t in the mood.

SB: Not today, Satan! …unless you have cat videos.

Caption: What was actually exhausting were all the people who wanted to badly to help. But I hadn’t even started chemo yet! I didn’t need anything, but I didn’t want them to feel I was rejecting the fact they cared about me. This was a minefield for someone who always felt like emotions were messy and a lot of (frequently unnecessary) work. When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I had wanted to be a vulcan. 

Some days it felt like people were being supportive at me. 

30

Gray background with gold veins

My husband got hit with it too

MR: It’s really exhausting being constantly cheerful and upbeat and appreciative in public.

SB: Tell me about it. 

MR: Like, I really do appreciate it, but I feel like I’m always on. 

SB: Yep.

MR: …wanna watch cartoons and not talk for three hours? 

SB: I love you so much right now. 

31

Yellow and orange

But none of those people were wrong! A lot of stuff was very useful!

Caption: It was just that we couldn’t ever get away from the bit where I had cancer. Eventually I overcame my reluctance and put up an Amazon wishlist of chemo supplies so that people could help. It was gone in five minutes. I cried a little bit about that. 

Ironically Bob had stopped hurting. If I’d procrastinated a few weeks longer, I might never have caught it. 

SB: Bob, you poor dumb lump, if you’d just been patient, you coulda made stage four and had all these lymph nodes for yourself …

Ursula, stop pitying the murder ball. 

32

Pink bubbles. The pink is like Pepto Bismol pink. Or maybe pink ribbon pink, coincidentally! 

I didn’t actually pity Bob, but I also didn’t really hate him. (I still wanted him gone, obviously.)

SB: We’re comin’ for you, Bob. 

There are a bunch of mental health resources online for people with breast cancer. They all appeared to be for people who were not me. 

Note: There is certainly no reason I selected this color for this panel what are you implying how dare

33

Purple swirly

Quotation: You may feel as if your body has betrayed you.

SB: No, I feel like I’ve got a squirrel living in the attic and I’m waiting on the exterminator.

Quotation: You’re a warrior! You’ll kick its ass! 

SB: Again, squirrel.

Quotation: You may feel like cancer has taken away your dreams. 

Wiggly speech bubble: For fuck’s sake, people, it’s a fucking boob squirrel! 

34

Green with veiny lines like leaves

There was also a really complicated one about how breasts were sources of food and comfort and nurturing and the deep, fundamental betrayal of having them become a source of death instead. 

SB: Is there a way to simultaneously acknowledge that some people have this experience and it is valid, while also chopping my own nipples off in horror?

MR: Pretty sure that’s a breastfeeding thing. Don’t worry about it. Please give me back the butter knife. 

Meanwhile there were still more tests.

MD: This particular chemotherapy is very hard on your heart. Fortunately yours is in great shape!

SB: Woo!

35

Red and kind of fleshy, veiny background

I started mining the techs for novel material

SB: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen?

Tech: Oh, I couldn’t say…

SB: I’m a horror author. 

Tech: Okay, so we get IV drug users in who get infections in the heart. It looks like giant boogers. 

SB: Whoa.

Tech: And when the valves open, they whip around like snakes!

Note: The second I said “horror author” she came out with this. Techs are great. 

36

Light blue and swirly with some gold 

Every ultrasound tech I talked to hated doing fetal ultrasounds

Tech: It’s always “is it a boy or a girl? Is it a boy or a girl?” Lady, I’m trying to make sure it has a brain!

Every RN is Rutger Hauer saying “I’ve seen things you people can’t imagine.” 

RN: Ask me again after you’ve had chemo. 

SB: Aww…

But as I spent more and more time getting poked and prodded and scanned, a funny thing started to happen…

37

Yellow and shining

I started to feel healthy

Every trip to the doctor was always “lose weight, get this number down, lose more weight, exercise more, change your diet…”

Caption: But the oncologists were used to seeing very sick people, so they thought all my numbers were spectacular. 

“You’re so young and healthy!”

“Thank goodness you’ve got some padding for the port!”

“Everything’s in great shape!”

“Have you ever been sick?!” 

38

Teal and swirly

I started to forget I was flabby and middle-aged and remember that I climbed the 300 steps of Potala Palace and didn’t drop dead*

SB: It would be nice to experience this without the damn boob squirrel. 

Then the thyroid ultrasound came back and brought me back to earth. 

MD: You’ve got a 2.2 cm nodule on your thyroid. 

SB: What? That’s almost an inch! Where has my neck been keeping it?!

MD: We recommend a biopsy. 

*A fact which still amazes me

end

The Saga of Bob, Part Four: Feelings Are Weird

Part I

Part II

Part III

(I kinda suggest starting at #1 for Very Important Context, but hey, you do you.)

Transcribers, you continue to rock on toast.

There is certainly no reason I selected this color for this panel what are you implying how dare

The second I said “horror author” she came out with this. Techs are great.

Potala Palace is 12,300 feet (3750 meters) above sea level.

I realize this last feels like a cliffhanger, but it’s one for me, too. The thyroid people are short-handed and it’s still another two weeks, at the time of posting, until they take a look at it. (I have been told that thyroids sprout nodules like whoa, that thyroid cancers are super treatable, and that it probably is nothing to worry about. Me, I just wonder if my body is collecting these like Pokemon.)

Tune in next time for Part 5, same crab time, same crab channel!

[notjohnlegere]

HI!!! I loveeee your lil fics so much! I was just wondering if you could do one where the reader is in a relatively new-ish relationship with Timothee and he’s staying over and the reader puts on an old tour tshirt of like a hot male singer to go to bed and Timothee is like, “Damn do I have some competition?” And its super fluffy. THANKS XXX

Hi! Thank you so much and thanks for your request! Now, let me preface this by saying I know you said conventionally attractive male singer but when the thought of Ed Sheeran popped into my head it was too cute and funny to let go. I think this turned out adorable though! I was laughing to myself the whole time while writing it!

———————————————————————

Competition?

———————————————————————

Competition?

Timothée Chalamet x Reader

soooo fluffy my heart almost couldn’t contain itself. this is one of the cutest and funniest things ive written in my opinion.

*obligatory mobile formatting apology*

———————————————————————

You were so excited you felt like you couldn’t contain it. Finally, finally, Timothée had a day off. You were still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, getting used to one another, adoring every little quirk. You had been together for 3 months, but due to the nature of his job it felt more like 3 weeks. You had many sweet FaceTime moments with him, he made sure of it, but it just wasn’t the same as being face to face. Holding him in your arms was an entirely different experience than blowing kisses to a phone screen.

He had come home two days ago. He had an interview to do yesterday, but today he was all yours. When he had told you that he was yours tomorrow, too? Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. Two days in a row you were going to have his full attention, you couldn’t believe it. It felt like heaven.

You had spent the most wonderful day together in your apartment. Doing nothing, talking about everything. You held him, he held you, and that’s all you needed. All you could desire in the world was staring into his gorgeous eyes. So that’s what you did. You cooked dinner together that evening. It felt so domestic to cook with him. You might’ve been stepping way too far way too soon, but you couldn’t help but imagine your future. I would love to cook with you for the rest of my life.

After dinner, you felt the evening drawing to a close, but you didn’t want it to end. You fumbled with the idea while you washed dishes, before you finally gathered the courage to say it while you were putting them away.

“It’s getting late. Do you want to stay over tonight?” You felt so shy. What would he think about your idea? Was it too soon? All your thoughts, though, were shattered when he smiled at you and spoke up.

“Sure.”

Now here you were, doing some last minute preparations in the bathroom. He was in your room. He was in your bed. You felt like you could vomit at the thought. Your heart raced as you imagined him under your favorite blanket.

Brushing out your hair, putting on some extra deodorant, and brushing your teeth, you finally felt prepared. Well, as prepared as you would ever be. You tugged on your panties and your favorite oversized tee shirt. You wanted to be as comfortable as possible, but still look cute. This is really happening. I am about to spend the night with my boyfriend. Your thoughts raced. You had so many questions. Did he snore? What were his sleeping patterns like? Would you spoon? Would he mind if you lied on his chest? You brushed these thoughts aside, though. They would be answered soon enough.

Shyly, you made your way out of the bathroom and into your bedroom. You felt your heart stop. There was your boy, just in his favorite sweatpants, lying on top of your bed on his back. His phone was in his hands as he shuffled through different songs, made evident by the fact he was connected to your Bluetooth speaker. Of course his sweats were tucked into his socks.

You crawled into bed next to him and lied down, leaning your head against his shoulder. You took a peek at his phone and your face visibly flushed. He was going through a playlist that was titled with your name and a shooting star emoji. He must’ve taken notice to your gaze because he glanced at you and spoke up.

“Whenever you hear a song and say I love this song! I add it to this playlist.” He admitted. “Or if you just start randomly dancing to a song? It goes in here too.”

You only blushed harder. Fuck you, Timothée Chalamet, you perfect creature.

“I didn’t know you paid that much attention to the music I like.” You said. He smiled.

“I am well aware of your obsession with Mr. Sheeran.” He said with a snicker. His eyes glanced down at your tee, which just happened to be a divide tour tee. You gasped.

“I am not obsessed with him!” You shrieked, lying straight through your teeth. “I don’t like all that gushy romance stuff.”

“Riiiiiight.” Timothée said, playfully rolling his eyes at you. “He and I aren’t gonna have a problem, are we? Do I need to ask him myself?” In an instant, he was opening the Instagram app. He pulled up the all-too-familiar teddysphotos account and opened a chat.

“Don’t you dare, Chalamet!” You yelped, jumping onto him and reaching for his phone with embarrassment and desperation. His phone slipped out of his hand, and with a crash, the both of you were on the floor. Your face was red and he was a giggling mess.

“I gotta scope out the competition!” He shouted through a fit of giggles. You wanted to slap him. And kiss him. And love him.

“He is not, I repeat not, your competition.” You fussed.

“Okay, okay.” He said, putting his hands up in defense. He was still giggling like a child.

“Thank you.” You huffed.

A moment of silence was shared in between the two of you when his giggles calmed down.

“Harry Styles?”

Timothée let out a yelp when you slapped him on the back of the head.

———————————————————————

ao3 is johnlegere, find my fics there too. requests are open, send one in my ask box! hope you enjoyed :)!

[chryblossomjjk]

hi kiki !!! im pretty new here and this is the first ask i’ve sent but i just wanted to pop in and say how much i adore not only ur writing but just u in general !! both practice and imagine are incredible n i could go on and on about how much comfort ive found in ur writing and ur characters but we’d be here for DAYS… weeks even 🫣 idk how to explain this exactly but u do such a wonderful job at making the story and the characters so beautifully human… like ofc most stories keep it as realistic as possible but when i read urs i literally feel like im living the experience or watching the ppl i love from the sidelines yk?? its just so REAL and RAW and i cant get enough. when i tell u practice couple have me by the NECK like ive reread it so many times already and i find something new to love about it every single time !!! i hope everyone finds a love like theirs, truly.

and as for u, U ARE SOOO PRECIOUS. ive spent the last few days catching up on kiki lore just bc i wanted to get to know u better aside from ur works and u have stolen my heart actually !! ur so funny and down to earth and i can tell just how much u love writing and interacting with everyone and something about u and ur page is so warm and cozy and refreshing 🥺 i hope ur taking care and that u always find things that bring u joy in every day, even if it’s something little!! u deserve all the good things this world has to offer and as a new follower i cant wait to see what the future has in store for u and im so happy to experience this little journey!! and i hope u never forget how loved n valued u are, u have a beautiful heart and dont let anyone ever tell u otherwise!!

ill wrap this up bc ive already made this so long but thank u for all that u do 🥺🫂🫶🏻 u work so hard to create these amazing stories for us and i hope u know we will never take that for granted ! always remember to rest and put ur health first, i know life can get crazy so it’s important that u look after urself !!!

p.s. - so excited for the weekend i could pee my pants. u have no idea.

not sure what emoji i should go by in ur asks… hmm… maybe ⭐️? or is that taken already?

lots of love to u!!

ummm soooooo

idk what tf i've done to be deserving of such a sweet message but im literally tearing up while writing smut what have u do to me friend akejndajdnsajn

first of all, thank you so much for being here and sending in such a sweet fucking ask. i hope you're enjoying your time on here so far my love!!

and this is probably one of the biggest compliments ive ever recieved about my writing. its so reassuring so thank you so so so so much ugh! its so incredibly difficult to make things feel/sound realistic. i often mull over the same scene and dialogue over and over and over again, wondering if the conversations feel normal, or if the dialogue feels right for that specific character, so your comment literally means everything to me!! and it makes me so happy that you care about the characters like im literally fucking gushing!!

AND EXCUSE U NO YOU YOU'RE PRECIOUS AND YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD NO STFU YOU NOT ME YOUUUUUU!!!!

I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY!!!

i generally feel like i am a very annoying n extra human being lol so thank you for sticking through n reading my posts and yeah :'(( i do really love interacting with people on here and i try my best to make this blog feel as safe and inviting as possible so im it makes me saur soft that you feel that way and ugh i cant i dont even know what to say other than i love u sm my lil star friend :'))

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: implied smut, angst is back

--

The next 2 weeks were amazing. Bucky really turned everything around and showed you that he was committed to you. It made you feel so much better. While you felt bad that he now completely avoided Dot, because she is still out of place, you didn’t feel that bad because you knew she was bad news. Whenever she saw you and Bucky together she would scoff and glare at you. It made you uncomfortable.

One day the whole Avengers team was called into a meeting to discuss an upcoming mission. Per Steve and Tony, everyone, except you, were needed. You didn’t like the thought of staying behind with Dot in the compound, but you were a team player, and wouldn’t argue. Bucky on the other hand let Steve have it with both barrels.

“Steve you know the situation with Dot. Can’t someone else stay behind?” he said to Steve.

Steve sighed, “Yes, I know this will be difficult, but everyone else is needed for their skill. Y/N’s skills aren’t needed on this mission. She agreed, so why are you fighting me on this?” Steve argued back.

“Of course Y/N won’t fight this, but I am trying to protect her from Dot. You remember how vicious Dot can be, and I don’t want her to upset Y/N when we just started to get back on track,” Bucky said.

“Look Buck, I get it. I do. But this is how it is. The compound is big enough that Y/N won’t need to be anywhere near Dot. By the way, when are you going to tell her that she needs to start looking for employment and another living situation. She makes everyone uncomfortable. Even Tony is starting to get annoyed at all her questions about FRIDAY, and he loves showing people how smart he is,” Steve asked.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I know I have to do it, especially after what she’s pulled, but I still feel bad for her. I mean she didn’t ask for this to happen, and doesn’t deserve to be thrown out on her ass, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I’ll talk to Y/N about it and see if she has any ideas. Maybe if we help setting her up I will feel better about it,” Bucky said.

“Yea, I know. Let me know if you need help. But we gotta get packed and head to the quinjet. And please don’t worry about Y/N. Your girl is strong, and she knows how Dot is. She will be fine. Besides, we are only gone for like 24 hours, what could happen?” Steve asked.

Bucky didn’t respond and watched as Steve walked out of the meeting room. He ran his hands through his hair, what could happen? He hoped nothing, but he didn’t trust Dot. It’s funny the way she is acting now didn’t bother him when he was in the 40s, but now, because of you, he sees that she is not as great as he thought.

Bucky sighs and heads to your shared room to find you packing his bag for him. He smiles as he walks in, “Hey baby,” he says.

You look up at him and give him a bashful smile, “Figured I would help you out,” you said.

Bucky walks up to you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace. He looks into your eyes, and all you see is love and admiration in them. He leans in and connects his soft lips with yours. After a moment he deepens the kiss and you feel his tongue on your lower lip. You open you mouth in response, allowing him full access. When the need to breath becomes too great you pull away, panting.

“You’re only going to be gone a day,” you say with a chuckle.

Bucky also laughs, “Will you be ok? Here? With... her?” he asks.

You brush your hand through his soft hair, “Yea. I’ll stay clear of her as much as I can. But I’ll be ok,” you say.

Bucky pecks your lips again. “When I come home, I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he asks.

You look at him with confusion, “Like what?” you ask.

“I think it’s time for Dot to go off on her own, but I don’t want to just kick her out and make her fend for herself. I was thinking you could help me find her a job and a place to live? I would just feel better if I know I wasn’t kicking her out with nowhere to go,” he asks.

You smile and nod, “Sure. I’ll be glad to help. I’ll start while you’re gone,” you say. 

Bucky kisses you one more time, “I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you, Doll,” he says.

“I love you too, Buck.”

--

You have to say you are surprised when you find yourself not running into Dot at all. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to be near you either, which is fine. She has spent most of the last 24 hours in the lab, while you stayed in your room looking up possible jobs and apartment for her. 

You thought it was nice of Bucky to at least help set her up and not throw her to the wolves. It was something you admired about Bucky, his big heart. You both have been texting before the mission, but since then you haven’t heard from him. You hope everything is ok. 

“FRIDAY, any update on the team?” you ask the AI.

“No agent, I’m sorry,” she responds.

You decide to take a nap in hopes that when you wake up your boyfriend will be home. You want your family home safe and sound.

--

You woke up to the sounds of the team in the hallway. You walk out and see Nat and Wanda and hug them hello. You head toward the common room hoping to see the guys, but don’t. You walk back toward the elevator and heard something from Dot’s room.

“Oh Dot, I’ve missed you so much, Doll,” you hear Bucky moan.

You gasp in horror as you continue listening to Dot moan and beg for Bucky to go harder. You can’t help the tears that begin to fall as you hear your boyfriend and his ex having sex.

“So good baby, you’re so good. Taking me so well, you feel amazing. No one is like you, I love you so much,” Bucky moaned.

You’ve heard enough and turn, running back to your shared room. You can’t be near him when he comes in pretending he didn’t just fuck his ex. Your heart is in a million pieces as his voice continues to play in your head. All you hear is her and his moans and his words. He loves her. It will always be her. Maybe you just need to learn to accept that.

--

“Buck, I think you should have told Y/N you got hurt. She is going to be worried about you,” Steve scolded.

“Look, I know my girl. She will be mad at first, but then she will nurse me back to health. I will have to convince her to ride me later, but it will be so worth it,” Bucky says with a smirk as the doctor continues to pull out shards of shrapnel from his side.

“Seriously man? TMI!” Sam complained before leaving Medbay.

Bucky laughed and then hissed as the doctor pulled another shard out. “How much longer? I don’t want Y/N to think I’m dead if she knows we are back,” Bucky asked the doctor.

“One more piece... and....” she pulls the large piece out, “There! Now I will quickly clean and bandage. no stitches cause you will heal fast, but please no sex tonight. You might bleed all over her,” the doctor said with a glare.

Bucky and Steve laugh. “Oh I talked to Y/N about helping me out with Dot and she agreed. I figured it was best to have her involved with that situation from now on,” Bucky says to Steve as the doctor cleans and bandages his side.

“Good idea, less messy that way. I hope everything went well here with the 2 of them,” Steve says.

“I’ll find out,” Bucky says as he puts his shirt on. 

Both men walk to the elevator and head to their floor. They say their goodbyes in the hall as Bucky opens the door to your shared apartment. You aren’t in there, which confuses him, but he figures maybe you went to the kitchen.

When he walks into the bathroom he senses something is wrong. None of your toiletries are there. It was different from when you cleaned, plus his was still there. He walks back out to your room and sees that everything on your nightstand is gone too. Now he starts to panic as he goes to the closet and sees that all your clothes are gone. He tries to not have a panic attack because that will slow him down. He goes to head to the door and sees a piece of paper on the floor:

Bucky,

I guess I’m the stupid one. I’m stupid to think that everything you said to me was true. I was stupid to think that I could compete with your one true love. I was stupid to think that you really loved me. Well I won’t be stupid anymore. No need to lie and say what I heard isn’t true. I hope you and Dot are very happy together in your new apartment, but I’m done. Have a nice life.

Bucky dropped the letter and fell to his knees as tears pool down his cheeks. What the hell happened that you up and left him? You are angry with him, and he doesn’t understand why. He allows himself to cry for a moment before rereading it.

Dot.

--

Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

Oh Dot you dirty bitch! Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

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PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT ANYONE!

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

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[biolizardboils]

its been 10 days since the movieversary but my CU hyperfixation's still going so heres another one of those Scattered Thoughts posts (minor movie spoilers!)

So i updated the playlist at treehouseblogsinc this week! Idek if Wikplayer still works for most people, but this streak’s five years long and i aint quittin yet! (Usually i just replace song links when they break, but this time i removed a song too cus the guy it references has been Bitch lately)

Speaking of, i did my semi-annual reread of the whole blog too and... man :’’’) Its still mind-blowing how many people played along (and got pissed at Melvin when he took over lmaooo). All the silly, sweet, and angry asks i got there still warm my heart to this day

You know what else i still do to this day? Draw things Pilkey-style! Sometimes i try to follow a rigid anatomy when i draw and feel stuck when it doesnt look right. When that happens, i step back and make a quick Pilk-ish sketch as a reminder to keep things loose. Works every time :)

Something i still love about the movie and the months leading up to it is how much of it felt like a grand... I dont wanna say joke, cus that kinda implies they didnt care when its obvious they truly did. Lets go with prank — it all felt like a grand prank! Like the decisions they made worked in the end, but were also super funny to read and hear about. Like oh my god, they rented Abbey Road Studios to record a choir playing kazoos and singing the word “underpants!” They got the biggest up-and-coming horror director to voice white-ass Melvin Sneedly. (Tho i guess now it can be argued that he’s white-passing in movie!verse, so thats cool)

My fave example of this is how they got Lil Yachty for the album. On one hand, whatever chunk of the limited budget they spent to get him probably could’ve been put to better use, like actually animating the Turbo Toilet fight or something? (While moving the Flip-O-Rama to another scene of course.) On the other hand, its hilarious that they got him to rap the word “cool” 15 times to a cover of Oh Yeah, and then didnt even put it in the movie. Its like George and Harold themselves wrote the stupidest lyrics possible just to see if he’d agree to them, and he did?? Thats comedy gold???

Why didnt i bookmark all the production stuff posted to Instagram. There was so much cool stuff i wanna see again but the search function there is still garbage and uuuughh

So i dont remember if it was production art or fanart but theres this one Instagram post i saw once thats lived in my head ever since. it looked like the cover of Action Comics #1, but with Captain carrying a school bus. If by some miracle somebody has it saved, please send it to me ill be forever in your debt

Im still scared of getting what’s coming to me when the Dog Man movie drops, but now im also wondering if theyll still have George and Harold as a framing device. Ngl i havent caught up with the new books in a hot minute, but ive heard that the boys have stopped appearing in them? if that’s true, that’s Dav’s choice and i have to respect that. ....but also i really wanna see them in CG again. pretty please dreamworks, i miss my sons so much

It mustve been a while since i last watched the movie, cus when i did on the 2nd, the Origin Issue sequence like... broke me all over again. i wrote about why its so great once for a thing that never got made actually, lemme dig that up and paste it in here

The score begins with chiptune and kazoos, two common motifs for childhood whimsy, and already a great fit for this sequence’s simple, handdrawn look. 

But it doesn’t stop there! It goes from what sounds like just two or three people playing kazoos… to a whole chorus of them… which gives way to a full-fledged orchestra. It’s as dramatic a transition as… oh, say, a one-man children’s book to an animated movie by one of the top studios in the industry.

And in turn, as the comic continues, we’re brought closer and closer to the panels until the white gutter between them vanishes, and they engulf the screen. The medium through which this story’s being told has faded from awareness; all that exists now is the story itself. 

But just as suddenly, we’re brought back to our true surroundings. The orchestral music ends, the chiptune returns for one last gentle sting, and we remember this epic tale’s humble origins: a comic book, written and drawn by two 4th graders. *sniff*

Another Score thing i love: you know how Captain is one big Superman parody? I think Shapiro mightve had that in mind when he composed his theme tune, because it starts with a triumphant first three notes (the “Underpaaaaants” part) — just like some of Superman’s! I dont know the right musical terms but cmon, theres a pattern there! And its so touching that they found Captain worthy of a song of that caliber!! Like yes, he IS a true superhero!! heres the epic theme song to prove it!!

Oh wow okay. So to dig up that Writing Thing, i had to open some folders i havent touched in years. And there were outlines for 10 different fanfics in there. I remember not really meaning to finish them ever, just writing them down cus the ideas wouldnt leave me alone. Hell i still dont have time to finish them now

But. Man now i feel bad for never doing anything with them. I have half a mind to post the outlines at least?? Cus someone out there might get a kick out of them?? You know what, if this hyperfixation doesnt peter out in another few days ill probably do it

Speaking of things i havent looked at in years, i listened to this song while typing all this and im tearing up now send post