#but it's not personal
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Sometimes I get so stressed and agitated that I just want to rip the head off of anything and anyone who comes in contact with me. I'm feeling that anger skyrocket again (probably because of stress in my personal life), and I'm half tempted to take it out on a bunch of random targets. Mostly things that I have no actual clear understanding of, but which I have convinced myself to hate anyways. I'm an impulsive person, and I'm a person of great anger and stress. So don't be shocked if I just start making some rude posts bad-mouthing things to try and distract my brain from my real life stress. It's probably not a good coping mechanism, but it's the one i'm letting myself get away with today.
#and please don't send me hate mail#my opinions are gonna be negative#but it's not personal#i promise that much#stress#neurodivergent#stressed#angry#anger issues#if my anger stays boiling i might actually make these posts#forgive me if i do#stress problems#anger problems#autism#asd#rant#mini rant#rambles
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Somehow this hellsite has really become my haven on the Internet
#there's dumb takes yeah but they're about wrestling#not like... the state of the world and people attacking each other over of some invented controversy#which is why it's important for me to curate my space#so if I say that I'm thinking about blocking the tag for something/someone that you really enjoy and blog about a lot#please don't take it personally#did I need to say it on that post in the way I did? no#but it's not personal#that's all ❤️
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Roasted chicken, ginger, daikon, shiitake mushroom soup with lime, cilantro, broccoli sprouts, and rice noodles
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appalachia is devastated. towns i loved, towns i visited all the time, are gone. not damaged, GONE. they are leveled to the ground. there is nothing left but rubble and ruin. people are dead. appalachia is poor to begin with and relies on tourism for a lot of its income, and multiple of those tourist locations are just...gone.
my town is okay, but it's flooded and wrecked. trees are blocking all but one way out of our neighborhood. power lines are hanging limp in the roads. we've been without power for over 24 hours and will continue to be without power for likely another 24+. disabled people and poor people are GOING to die from this. gods save appalachia.
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i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.
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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour
#bpd blog#bpd fp#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd#borderline pd#borderline things#borderline problems#living with borderline#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#being borderline#borderline culture is#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd culture is
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i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring
#i also had to tell them no today because mom said no tv and they DESPERATELY wanted to watch a 4-dvd set of recorded sermons#religious children are terrifying. i do get sundays off tho so#personal
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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me @ my mutuals
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Overview of some topics when it comes to drawing characters who are burn survivors.
DISCLAIMER. Please keep in mind that this is an introductory overview for drawing some burn scars and has a lot of generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. I'm calling this introductory because I hope to get people to actually do their own research before drawing disabled & visibly different characters rather than just making stuff up. Think of it as a starting point and take it with a grain of salt (especially if you have a very different art style from mine).
Talking about research and learning... don't make your burn survivor characters evil. Burn survivors are normal people and don't deserve to be constantly portrayed in such a way.
Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.
edit: apparently tum "queerest place on the internet" blr hates disabled people so much that this post got automatically filtered. cool!
second way more important edit: How are people seeing this post where I specifically talk about burn survivors being normal, real people, and still tag this as "TW body horror"? Not a single one of these drawings or pictures is a fresh injury. All of them are healed. How the hell would you feel if someone tagged a photo of you as "trigger warning: gore"?
Disabled people are not your fucking body horror. Grow up.
#people who tag this as 'tw scary!!!' will be blocked for missing the point + being insufferable.#my art#disabled artist#artists on tumblr#digital art#id in alt text#art#personal art#digital illustration#art on tumblr#body positivity#body positive art#drawing#illustration#ccartshare#drawing tips#drawing disabled characters#disabled representation
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new favorite YouTube comment just dropped
#LMAO#wolves#yellowstone#abolish capitalism#guillotine the rich#anticapitalism#leftblr#therian#YouTube#youtube comments#socialism#anarchism#communism#ecology#antiwork#fuck capitalism#eat the rich#babe wake up#all-time hilarity#personal hall of fame
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the overwhelming feeling of sadness sometimes when someone treats me with kindness
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I can behave normally around books
#shitpost#anyway guess who brought home 24 new books today?#if you guessed me. well. you would be correct#in my defense I only bought 5#for a combined total of usd#where’d the number go. it was 17 usd#the rest were from me going through what my dad was getting rid of for space and claiming it for myself#but either way#24 in one day is a personal record I think#also I do fully intend to read all of these it’s not hoarding for hoardings sake
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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