#but it's because of the stuff that i struggle to talk about it lol

[klqrambles]

Man,, when I get a therapist we're gonna have So Much to talk about 😩👍

[bmpmp3]

i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i can't believe they made me speak french in the oral exam

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

do you ever just look back at something an ex said to you and regret that it did not turn into a full blown fight

[theghostofashton]

.

[alchemiclee]

I have so many photos I need to post. 15 years worth!!! I started posting them on my old tumblr's side blog but never finished and then I abandoned tumblr for years. but tbh I feel like posting my work doesn't benefit me and it's just more pointless work for me 😭 especially instagram and twitter where my posts get maybe 1 like from a follower if i'm lucky and that's it. why do I even bother 😭 no one is excited to see my work so it'd hard to motivate myself to actually share anything when it doesn't benefit me and when no one else is excited for or looking forward to it. sometimes I lose that "I made a thing I want to share it like a kid hanging their finger painting on the fridge" mentality 😅 even kids can get discouraged and give up sharing if you don't ooo and ahhh over their work. does that make sense?

[sketchdeath]

thinking about how i legitimately have a learning disability that was never ever caught despite [insert all the horrors] and now im an adult who has barely an elementary school childs basic grasp of math 😐🤨‼️👍

[icewindandboringhorror]

I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol

[vollzz]

more untitled vampire wip content! Wanted to share a longer scene (~850 words) with the caveat that a lot of details and prose are subject to change while I still come up with a real plot and revise, lol. thanks so much for all the love on the last snippet I shared.

CW for drug use and swearing~

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Cas groaned, straining with the effort of pulling someone inside from the alleyway while keeping the door propped open with an outstretched foot. Their shoes and pants dragged against the carpeted floor. “Did Reece give you something laced again?”

Cas half-tossed Silead’s mostly limp figure onto the ground next to an upholstered chair. She slumped against it, struggling to stay in a somewhat seated position. Her head drooped forward, causing the piecey blonde hair to obscure the front of her face. Every few seconds her head bobbed upwards just enough to lift some fringe and expose the pale rose of her mouth, only to sink immediately back down.

Cas kneeled in front of her, trying to prop up her head with a hand. He snapped in front of Silead’s face repeatedly, hoping for any kind of reaction or recognition that she could see him.

An annoyed voice rang in from the other room. 

“The junkie’s strung out again, Cas. Let her sleep it off on the floor and you can lecture her in the morning.”

A look of concern rose to Cas’ face as he failed to get much of a response. Silead’s eyes blinked slowly, both of them unfocused and glazed over. Her breath came out in shallow pants.

“I think something’s wrong, Boz,” Cas said. He used his fingers to stretch open Silead’s eyelids, getting a closer look at her blown pupils. “Hey, Sils. What the fuck did you take?”

Silead groaned before her head slumped back against the arm of the chair.

“Sils.” Cas slapped the side of her face, earning a sputtering cough. His hands flew into every one of her pockets until they found a tiny plastic bag with lingering traces of a pink powder. He held it up to his face, squinting. “Fuck, Silead. Where the hell did you get this? Did Reece give this to you?”

Another slap to the face seemed to make Silead a bit more lucid. She groaned again, her hands digging into the carpet. Cas could barely make out a response.

“‘S from… downtown.”

“What the fuck is this?”

“...Dunno.” Beads of sweat shone on her forehead.

Boz’s head now emerged from the doorway. “What is it this time?”

“Hell if I know,” Cas said, dangling the bag up high to put it into his line of sight. “You ever see this before?”

Boz cautiously emerged, striding over to take a look.

“What the…? Junkie shit, I guess.” He glanced at Silead. “God, you fucking jerk,” he said with an anger hidden amongst his concerned expression, “You can’t just take whatever freak drugs someone offers you! How are we supposed to know if you’re dying?”

“‘M fine,” slurred Silead, her breathing now a bit steadier.

“I can’t take this anymore. Let her fucking die, I don’t care.” Boz turned heel and walked back to his room, his hands balled into tight fists. “Serves her right for doing that shit.”

Cas sighed and brushed the fallen hair from Silead’s face.

“He doesn’t mean it,” he murmured, “You know this is hard on all of us.”

“Just wanna…,” Silead let loose a deep breath, “Sleep.”

Cas rested a hand under Silead’s chin, propping it up. His eyes felt hollow, as if they’d accepted tonight might finally mark the end of a long, tiresome journey.

“Alright. I’ll take you to bed. Don’t you die, you goddamn asshole.” Silead seemed to protest, but Cas rose and easily picked her up, walking them to her room. Gently, he lowered her body on top of the covers. Two fingers hovered underneath her nose to check for the warmth of her steady breaths.

“Oh, fuck, Sils.” He stood by the bed, one hand brushing her hair back, unsure of what else to do.

Silead began to shiver, the movements jittery yet still constrained within the fog of drugs.

“You cold? Here,” Cas gently drew back the covers and placed them on top of her small frame. He grimaced at the thin sheets that seemed to do little to alleviate the shivering,  debating for a moment before kicking off his shoes and climbing in next to her. Even in her addled haze Silead melted into his touch.

For a brief moment Cas thought he heard Silead trying to speak before he realized she’d started crying. She trembled with cold and sorrow, the broken sobs rippling through her lethargic body.

Cas wiped an errant tear away, placing a kiss just behind her ear.

“I know, I know,” he whispered, his arms wrapping around her, “Go to sleep, babe.”

A sorrowful wail escaped Silead’s mouth, and she curled inwards on herself.

“‘M sorry…” She sounded so small, so defenseless, so utterly wounded and used up - Cas barely even heard the meek, slurred voice.

Cas sighed, the breath shaky. He swallowed down the growing lump in his throat.

“I know. We’ll talk in the morning. Get some rest.”

Only when her breathing slowed to a smooth rhythm and her tears ran dry did Cas allow his quiet sobs to break free.

—

There’s a tag list for this now heck yeah! If you’d like to be a part/no longer on, let me know :)

@macabremoons @anonymousfoz

I have a LOT of thoughts and ideas on this world and these characters that I’m excited to share. If you got this far you’re the best and I hope you’re excited too~

[kii2me2ii2]

omori's inclinations towards self isolation is so realistic and similar to my own it's almost disturbing and very nearly triggering... very. nearly.

[nagichi-boop]

Throwback to being kicked out suddenly from an autism Discord server because I was apparently too mentally ill in the vent channels. And then I joined a BPD server and was kicked out without warning because I didn’t read the room properly and no one told me what I did was wrong.

[bfpierce]

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[125storejuice]

[classiclitqueer]

i know i’m late to say this but in light of the tortured poets department i would just like to thank jack edwards for taking the first bullet by explicitly stating that taylor swift’s lyric writing is thematically and formulaicly similar to tumblr/notes app poetry