#and also because when I teach it I sort of have to be like ‘Emma has changed! and feels bad about stuff!’ because that’s just kind of

[itspileofgoodthings]

idek why but this is Peak Romance(TM)

[reccyls]

Beyond the Merging of Then and Now (Sariel story)

Sariel's 4th anniversary story sale, where child Sariel is brought to the future to meet Emma and current Sariel

---

It wasn't unusual for Sariel's office to be full of tension as a result of all the political and bureaucratic affairs he had to tend to. But today, the room was filled with tension of a different sort.

Sariel: What is this charmless menace?

Young Sariel: What is this four-eyed old man?

Emma: Okay, so... You're both Sariel. Emma: An adult Sariel, and also, for some reason I don't understand, there's also a younger Sariel here.

(I was just going into town for an errand, how did this happen...)

--flashback--

Some hours ago...

(...Hm? Looks like there's some kind of ruckus up ahead. I wonder what's happening.)

Man: The hell are you doing, brat! You better watch yourself!

(A fight? And with such a young child?)

Man: You little bastard, looks like I need to teach you a lesson.

(Wait, he's not going to hit the boy is he? I have to save the--)

Child: .....you.

Man: ...!? Man: I-I'm sorry...

(He ran off... Something about this scene seems familiar... but now's not the time!) (Just who is that boy? He was able to send a grown man running just by whispering something.) (Wait, huh? That face...)

Emma: Sariel?

Child: ..?

(No, what am I saying. There's no way that's Sariel.) (But he really does resemble Sariel, and he's even also wearing gloves. The more I look at him, the more alike they seem.)

Child: You, what are you- Child: ...

(He left.) (I must have been mistaken just now. He can't be a little version of Sariel, there's just no way.)

--scene change, hallway--

(I keep thinking about that boy from earlier. What a mysterious kid.)

???: Don't turn around.

Emma: Wha?

(Who's behind me!?)

???: Head inside. Don't act suspicious.

--end flashback--

Emma: ...And so, that's what--

*whip sound*

Emma: Ack!

(What was that?)

Young Sariel: ...Tch. You're just a bureaucrat.

Sariel: And what does that make you, who can't even put a scratch on a lowly bureaucrat? Quite pathetic.

(Little Sariel tried to attack normal Sariel, but was warded off...?) (I couldn't see a thing.)

Sariel: Who ever would have thought that there would come a day when I would use this whip against "myself".

Emma: So he really is a child version of you.

Sariel: Indeed. Although I hate to admit it. Sariel: Because you knew his name, he likely tailed you in order to ascertain your true intentions. Sariel: And after finding out that you have some relation to the royal castle, he decided to infiltrate the castle. Sariel: At this point in time, I did have some interest in contacting the royal family. Sariel: At any rate, the question now is not who he is, but what to do with this vermin--

Official: Apologies for the interruption, sir, but I have something urgent I need to-- huh?

(Uh oh.)

Official: That boy is...?

Emma: Uh, no, you have it all wrong, he's--

Young Sariel: You look busy, father. You don't have to worry about me, you should just get back to work.

Emma: ......

Sariel: ......

Official: F-father...? So he's your...

Sariel: No. He is the child of a very, very, very distant relation. He is absolutely not my son.

(Oh, Sariel is not happy.)

Official: O-oh, I see. Ahaha...haha...

Sariel: If you have something urgent to discuss, let us speak in the hallway. But before that. Sariel: The next time you say something like that, brat, I will sew your mouth shut.

(And he's gone.)

Young Sariel: Hmph.

(Is he trying to get revenge on Sariel because his surprise attack failed?) (Maybe he does have a childish side after all. I didn't expect that.)

Emma: If you're hungry, would you like to have some sweets?

Young Sariel: I don't want them.

Emma: All right then, how about we read a book toge-- *sound of footsteps running* No, wait, wait!

*door opens*

(What do I do, do I chase after him... Hm?) (He's back.)

*door opens*

Young Sariel: Damn it... that damn 4 eyed bastard...

(I've seen Sariel kick people out of rooms before, but this might be the first time I've seen someone get kicked back in.)

Emma: Hey, come on, why don't we have something to eat together? What kind of sweets do you like?

Young Sariel: ...I don't like anything.

Emma: Then we'll have a bit of everything!

Sariel: ......

(That's quite the cold look from little Sariel.) (It looks like he's still wary around me, but I hope he'll slowly start to trust me more.)

--scene change, Sariel's room at night--

(...He hasn't taken a single bite.)

Young Sariel: ......

(He's been constantly looking for an opening to escape, but it looks like he's getting tired now.)

Sariel: Emma.

Emma: Y-yes?

Sariel: You should get some rest. I will keep watch over this vermin.

Emma: I can't do that. You should sleep too, Sariel. Emma: And you should too!

Young Sariel: ...

(He won't even look at me!)

Sariel: It's no use. The only thing a brat like this responds to is pain and discipline.

Young Sariel: You look like a proper pencil pusher but you still think of violence first. You think putting on a pair of glasses can change the kind of person you are deep down?

Sariel: What was that?

Young Sariel: You heard what I said.

Emma: Please don't fight with yourself, both of you!

(If I go to sleep with things the way they are, there is definitely going to be another incident...!)

*stomach growling*

(--Ah.)

Sariel: Emma?

Emma: I- I'm not... I mean, there was just so much happening today that I didn't get a chance to eat...

(Now that I've realized it, I'm just feeling hungrier and hungrier.) (It's already so late, but maybe just a little snack...)

Emma: Sorry, but can I have one of those?

Young Sariel: Do whatever you want.

Emma: Thank you. *munch*

(It's been a while since I had something sweet, it's so good... hm?) (When did little Sariel start eating too!)

Sariel: ...Strange. I didn't think you'd willingly eat something that someone else prepared.

Young Sariel: It doesn't seem poisoned. Young Sariel: ...Huh.

(Ah, looks like he likes that one.)

Emma: Is that one your favorite?

Young Sariel: Not really.

Emma: Hehe, you're free to take as much as you like if there's anything you like.

Young Sariel: ....Okay.

(He grabbed some more of the same kind. I guess that is his favorite.)

Sariel: Emma. Don't spoil him too much.

Emma: It's fine. He's you too, Sariel. Emma: Why don't you have some pastries too, big Sariel? There's some that aren't too sweet.

Sariel: I am not sure how I feel about being called 'big Sariel'... Sariel: However, I'll take you up on that offer. I'll have what you recommend.

Young Sariel: .....

Sariel: What?

Young Sariel: Nothing. Young Sariel: ...You look like you trust her a lot.

(He didn't want to eat anything because he was worried it would be poisoned...) (So that was something he had to be worried about even though he's this young.) (Maybe he only started eating because I ate one first, but maybe he can start opening up and trusting me some more now.)

Emma: Is it good?

Young Sariel: It's food. How it tastes doesn't matter.

(Ah, he looked over at me, just a little bit.) (I hope he can let himself relax, even if for just this moment.) (Both the young Sariel, and adult Sariel.) (Because both of them are my dear, precious Sariel...)

[dark-frosted-heart]

Clavis’ 4th Birthday Story (Part 2)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Clavis: —Did you hear me, miss maid?

Emma: Ack?!

A shriek escaped my lips when Clavis’ face suddenly appeared before me.

Clavis: HAha, that was quite the reaction. You remind me of my fiancee— 

Emma: How can I help you, King Clavis?

(That was close…I need to be careful)

Clavis: You looked like you froze up when you looked at Chevalier, so I thought I’d help ease your mind. 

Emma: …Thank you for your concern.

When I took a step back, Clavis got more in my face.

Clavis: By the way, I got a handsome face, you know?

Emma: Yes, yes, I understand. I will go make the tea now.

Clavis: Let me help.

Emma: No, please sit and wait, King Clavis— 

Clavis: You’re a new maid, aren’t you? I’ll teach you how to make the best tea.

Emma: No, no. I can’t trouble you like that— 

Clavis: Let’s go. Chev’s got a peculiar taste in tea.

(By the look on his face, he’s definitely up to something)

Though daily experience has me on guard when I get these kinds of hunches, I’m simply a maid at the moment.

I was in no position to stop royalty, so I followed after Clavis who happily walked ahead of me.

(How strange)

Clavis: Look, Chevalier. The new maid put her heart into brewing this tea. Make sure to drink it all.

(The tea’s color is different from the one I brewed!)

Although I prepared tea with Clavis together in the kitchen, some sort of mysterious liquid sloshed in the teacup placed before King Chevalier.

The tea that should’ve been a clear, amber color was instead dull and murky with some magnificent coloring as if several pigments had been mixed in.

(I was so on guard. When did he switch them?)

Chevalier sighed and reached for what he concluded was a “drink”—  

Emma: Um…Please wait!

I quickly withdrew the teacup before he could lift it and bowed my head.

Emma: I apologize…I must’ve made a mistake with the tea. I’ll brew a new one right away!

Clavis: Hahaha, look Chevalier. She’s so clever that you wouldn’t think she’s a new maid. I’m fascinated.

(I understand now)

(Clavis…He’s quite upset about the fact that he has to work do official business on his birthday)

The tea incident was only the beginning.

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

On the way to perform an inspection after the meeting, I felt something strange on the ground and stood in his way.

Emma: …The path over there is shorter, allow me to show you the way.

Clavis: Hmm…

–

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

As he was about to board the carriage after finishing the inspection, I felt something strange on the seats and stood in his way.

Emma: There appears to be something wrong with the carriage, so allow me to inspect it right away. If you can give me a few minutes…

Clavis: Oh?

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

As he was about to stop by the embassy, something about the statue at the entrance felt off to me, so I stood in his way.

Emma: There may be a bomb planted in there, so please allow me to deal with it…!

Clavis: You’ll deal with it?

--

Emma: Ah, there’s also a pit trap there…Please wait!

--

Emma: Aaahh, there’s bananas falling from the sky so please wait!!

--

Emma: Wait, please wai—Aaaahhhhh

--

Clavis: For a new maid, I’m impressed by how well you know me. I must commend you.

Emma: …I’m honored.

(I’m…so tired…)

The physical and mental exhaustion made me want to jump into bed immediately.

However, it seemed that the foreign affairs faction’s work wasn’t over yet and I led them to their temporary office.

(It’s a miracle that King Chevalier’s not hurt…) 

(I managed to stop all of Clavis’ pranks)

As his fiancee, I was filled with an odd sense of accomplishment.

(...Clavis was on fire today and it felt fun stopping his pranks)

(It looked like he was having fun too…so that’s fine)

Emma: This is the room.

Clavis: Ah, thank you for your hard work. You can return to your room— 

Chevalier: You will be joining us.

(Huh, me?)

Clavis: …Miss maid is exhausted because of you.

Ignoring Clavis, King Chevalier opened the door to the office—

There, we were greeted by a dizzying stack of paperwork.

(Wow…)

Clavis: Did you know, Chevalier? It’s my birthday today.

Chevalier: What about it?

Clavis: …Haha, so this is your present to me, is it?

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Alright, step outside.

Emma: I’ll do my best to be of assistance!

Clavis: The new maid shouldn’t spoil him. He’ll only take advantage of you. I should at least stab him?

Emma: No you cannot!

Continuing to ignore us, Chevalier takes the documents in hand and begins dealing with them in a flash. 

(In any case, I need to work hard to make time to celebrate his birthday!)

--

(—How did this happen…)

[eventinelysplayground]

Happy Father's Day

In honor of fathers day today here are some of my head canons about the princes and their kids. I hope everyone enjoys the day and yes I plan to do Ikevamp and Ikesen at a later time, Ikevil I have no strong opinions yet.

Jin: 4 kids, three sons, 1 daughter. They all love candy and got their Dads natural charm. The oldest son is a great swordsman, on par with his uncles.

Chevalier: 7 kids, four sons and three daughters. I had thought maybe he would have fewer but then I changed my mind. His four eldest are closer in age to each other and his younger three are closer together. The oldest son is very much like Chevalier while their middle daughter is the most like Emma. Unfortunately for Sariel their second youngest boy is a lot like Uncle Clavis.

Clavis: 4 kids, two sons and two daughters. Their youngest son and eldest daughter are very much like their father. Their youngest daughter seems tame but really she's quite bold and fierce and had her Uncle Nokto teach her archery which she excels at, she also has her father's knack for pharmacology and makes all sorts of medicines and a few poisons. Their oldest son is a good balance of his parents, very intelligent, friendly, outgoing but also very perceptive and can maneuver through may different situations with almost no effort, is best friends with his cousin continuing the tradition of the Lelouches and Michels being close.

Leon: A lot of kids all of them boys except for his eldest. That girl is scary chaos, she spends lots of time with either her Uncle Clavis or Sariel and she keeps her brothers in check any way she can. Their boys are all mostly just mini versions of Leon, friendly, outgoing, determined. They spend way too much time with Jin but not to worry Yves is usually not far behind trying to keep him from corrupting them too badly. All their kids except their youngest boy fall asleep within 5 minutes of opening a book, rip Sariles stomach with these kids.

Yves: After many years of issues they have a daughter. She is the sweetest most loving and devoted little girl ever and everyone loves her. She many not have any siblings but it's fine because all her male cousins act like they're her brothers. The older ones protect her while she mother's the little ones, her one female cousin is her best friend and she is always taking her out on adventures both on and off palace grounds, no worries though Leon is always there in the shadows keeping an eye on his niece and daughter.

Licht: Twin boys and does it ever send him for a loop. They're very happy boys but the youngest also has a huge serious streak to him. Yves is like a second mother to them and is always there for them. Like their father and Uncle Nokto they're incredibly agile and like their uncles Jin and Luke they grow freaking big! Due to some personal choices and unfortunate twists in fate when it's time for the selection of a new king they're the only ones the new Belle has to choose from.

Nokto: Karma came for him and he has 5 daughters followed by two sons. His 4 oldest daughters are all model princesses, his youngest, Maeve, is another matter. She's got a quick wit and sharp tongue and unlike her siblings holds neither of them. She's also incredible with daggers thanks to her Uncle Licht. She has quite the reputation and at some point earned the nickname of beastly princess. She ends up marrying Silvio's only child Dario who she can truly be herself with. Their oldest son is closest to Maeve with them being barely a year and a half apart. Their oldest son is very much like Nokto but with Emma's empathy. Their youngest boy is a lot more like Emma but that plays into his favor because he's able to observe situations and people better and he uses what he learns to his advantage later.

Luke: 3 kids, 2 daughters and a son. Those girls are spoiled rotten when they're little and his son his the apple of his eye. He teaches his kids everything: how to sew, how to fight, how to sniff out the best honey. Thankfully for Sariel they all got Emma's studiousness and her love for reading. Just like with Jin these kids got their father's natural charm and they have all their uncles wrapped around their fingers, even Uncle Chevalier indulges them more than anyone thought he was capable of.

Sariel: 3 kids, 2 sons and a daughter. All of their kids are sharp witted, hard working and intelligent. His daughter, Violet, is also very cunning some might even call her devious. She's close to Chevaliers son Rene as they both share a deep love of reading and she used to spend a lot of time with him much to Clavis' sons, Tristan, annoyance. For all the time she spent with Rene though she spent even more with Tristan either partaking in or putting a stop to whatever hijinx he was up to. Eventually Violet and Tristan end up married with their own kids who cause no end of delight and headaches for their grandfathers. Thankfully Sariels sons give him a break, his oldest follows his footsteps and takes over his Dad's position under Leon's only son and his youngest tutors the next generation of royal kids.

Rio: I haven't put much thought into Rio but I see him with a lot of kids, at least one of each, who all enjoy ‘bothering’ their uncle Silvio who secretly loves it but will never admit it.

Silvio: 6 kids, three of each. His oldest son looks and acts almost exactly like him. Unlike his Dad though he can manage to be polite in public and act properly when he has too, Silvio's oldest daughter though forget it. She has her father's eyes and temperament and she never hides it. She may not be as crude as her Dad but she still says things she really shouldn't. She ends up falling for Nokto's son which causes her Dad to go into a fit and when his son's make smart ass comments he passes on the jewel of the Sea to his oldest figuring he thinks it's funny he can deal with the negotiations and grabs Emma and walks out. Along with her sisters she is one of the Jewels of Benitoite, her youngest sister is very much like their mother and she ends up falling for Chevalier's son which nobody even had a clue about until the same conversation about her sister and Nokto's son when it's brought up it's a double negotiation.

Keith/alter keith: Oh lots of kids, they name the oldest son after his brother. The King loves being a grandpa to all these little wild children. They're all gentle, sweet and some incredibly patient. They have bits of alter Keith in them though as well and they are very calculating and spontaneous. With the exception of their first born it's not clear who fathered who but both Keith's love them so much and they all love both of them. They each in time figure out about their father's situation and none of them seem to care, their both Dad after all. Liam has his hands full trying to help deal with these children and their Aunt is a favorite playmate when they are younger. They also all get their parents love for reading causing the palace Library to be expanded, twice.

Gilbert: He didn't want kids and freaked out when it happened at the time but when he saw how happy Emma was he relented. They had twins, a son and daughter and he is so overprotective of them. He makes sure there will never be any more children, what with the medical advances in Obsidian. They're lovely children and watching his son grow it sometimes makes Gilbert wonder if that's how he would have been if things had been different. Their daughter is an incredible dancer and plays piano while their son is an excellent marksman with both bow and gun.

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 13

Chapter 12

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

The apostle's voice, his smile... they make my body stiffen for some reason I can't understand.

His words, his demeanor, his gentle manner... it's not like he's done anything to harm me. In fact, he's a "good person" who treats me with kindness and consideration.

Perhaps it's rude of me to even feel this sense of unease, but...

Apostle: Emma, if you'd like, why not listen to my sermon?

Even now, after our second encounter, a jarring sensation lingers in my heart.

Emma: A sermon... you say?

Apostle: Yes. My role is to spread the teachings of the Moon's incarnation and guide the people to happiness.

Apostle: To that end, I regularly open the castle and personally show the path to enlightenment.

The apostle's smile is endlessly merciful, and his desire to bring happiness to the people seems genuine.

Apostle: Tonight happens to be the day I invite people in and impart my teachings.

Apostle: As you are from a foreign land, Emma, there is much you likely don't know about our God.

Apostle: Why not take this opportunity to learn?

Apostle: If you feel uneasy attending alone, you are welcome to come with the guests from Rhodolite.

Apostle: They themselves expressed their desire to participate in this gathering.

(Clavis and Luke are attending too, which means...)

(Perhaps they suspect there's some connection between the apostle's gathering and the Three Country Alliance.)

(I can't deny I'm curious. I also want to know more about the Living God...)

(But is the apostle's invitation truly out of goodwill?)

(Am I just overthinking things by suspecting he has an ulterior motive?)

Silvio: Hey, you alright?

Silvio's voice cuts through my swirling thoughts.

Silvio: Didn't the God ask you to do some shopping?

Silvio: You better buy what you need and get back quickly, or he'll get annoyed.

(That's right, the errands!)

The list of errands Azel gave me is still in my pocket.

It's like a talisman – remembering its presence calms my heart.

(Come to think of it...)

*earlier*

Azel: If a suspicious old man approaches you, ignore him.

Azel: If you give in to his sweet talk out of the goodness of your heart, only ruin awaits you.

*back to present*

Emma: I apologize. Although I appreciate the invitation...

I place my hand over my pocket, feeling the paper within as I shake my head.

Apostle: Please don't mind. If you become interested, you can speak with me anytime.

Apostle: You are a special person to the Living God, Emma. If you have any requests, please don't hesitate to call upon me.

Apostle: All is according to the will of the Living God.

Without any coercion, the apostle departs, his smile unwavering.

The several men following him seem to be his guards, and there's something imposing about their presence.

Silvio: ...Somethin' about that guy seems fishy.

Silvio watches the apostle's retreating figure with a suspicious gaze, one that clearly indicates his dislike.

Silvio: I wouldn't wanna do business with that sort.

Kate: Why is that?

Silvio: Because I don't think we'd be able to understand each other.

Silvio: It's just a merchant's intuition, but you sensed something too, right?

Emma: ...I can't quite put it into words...

Silvio: Your gut feeling is usually right. Based on past experiences, you just sense that "something's off." Both you and I.

(If that's true...)

(What exactly is it about the apostle that's different from other people?)

-

Azel: You're late.

By the time I finished my errands in town and returned to the temple, the sun had completely set.

The God who greets me looks displeased, holding out his hand with a frown.

(It seems Azel wasn't waiting for me, but for the items from my errands.)

When I hand him the things I bought in town, Azel turns on his heel without even checking the contents.

Azel: I don't know where you were dawdling, but next time, come back before the sun sets.

(Oh no, I completely forgot about dinner!)

Emma: I'm sorry, I'll hurry and make it.

Azel: Huh?

Emma: ...Eh?

Emma: I thought you were pressuring me to hurry up and make dinner...

Azel: ...Ah, yes, that's right.

Azel: To think you would let a God go hungry, you have some nerve, you debt-ridden slave.

(What was with that strange pause just now...?)

Azel: Don't just stand there with that stupid look on your face, hurry up and make it! Make it now, I'm starving!

Emma: If you're going to talk to me like that, I'll make you a simple meal.

Azel: ..............

(This awkward silence...)

-

The moment I step into the kitchen as usual, I realize the reason for the God's awkward expression.

Emma: This is...

Azel: Oh my, when did this happen?

Azel: Perhaps someone broke into the temple. It's a suspicious object, unfit for consumption.

Azel: Let's just feed it to the camels.

Emma: No, don't!

I grab Azel from behind with all my might, stopping him from reaching for the tagine.

The kitchen is already filled with the appetizing aroma of spices, and inside the pot in question is a finished stew.

(It's a very avant-garde, or rather, unconventional presentation...)

Vegetables and meat, uncut by a knife, are crammed whole into the pot.

It seems like it would be difficult to even take the ingredients out because they're so tightly packed together, but still--

Emma: It looks delicious.

My stomach growls at the smell of spices tickling my nose.

Azel: Are you really going to eat a suspicious object made by who-knows-who?

Emma: I know who made it.

Emma: ...Because your clothes smell like spices, Prince Azel.

When I bring my nose closer, Azel's expression changes into something too scary to show a child.

Azel: Is it just your imagination?

Emma: That's a shame. I wanted to try your cooking, Prince Azel...

Azel: You don't mean that.

Emma: I'm being serious.

Emma: Food made by someone else always tastes better than what I make myself.

Emma: To a greater or lesser extent, home cooking always has care put into it.

Azel: Stop it, I'm getting goosebumps.

Emma: Besides...

Emma: If you foresaw my entire day, Prince Azel, you must have known I would come home tired, right?

Emma: That's why you cooked– Ouch!

Azel: Such unsightly conceit.

Pinching my cheeks tightly, Azel furrows his brow even more.

Azel: Listen, you were taking so long to come back that I got impatient and made it myself.

Azel: Before you proudly show off your pathetic deductions, first show me the sincerity of offering me a late fee.

(He says that, but...)

There are two plates set on the table.

Judging from the amount of stew, it's obvious that Azel made enough for me as well.

(If he was just hungry, there'd be no need to prepare a portion for me.)

(The more time I spend with him, the more his flaws as a bad-tempered God seem to show.)

(I don't know why he won't honestly admit his good intentions...)

(But in the end, there's no doubt that he's a "good-natured" God.)

Emma: ...I'm sorry.

Azel: I didn't tell you to apologize. I told you to give me money.

Emma: No, not that apology, but the one from before...

Emma: When you said "come back before the sun sets," thinking about it now, maybe you were genuinely worried about me--

Emma: Ouch ouch ouch!

Azel: Why would I worry about you?

Azel: It's just inconvenient for me not to have an errand runner.

He avoids my gaze with his mystical eyes in an unnatural way.

Emma: I'll p-pretend that's how it is.

(I was so tired before returning to the temple, but now it's all blown away.)

Azel, with his grumpy face, releases my cheeks, serves only his portion of the stew onto a plate, and takes a seat.

As he opens his book as usual, I also put my portion on a plate and sit next to him.

Emma: Thank you for the food.

Emma: ...Mmm, delicious!

(Maybe it's because it's simmered only with various spices and steam... the flavor is deep and addictive.)

The taste is so good that it overrides the difficulty of eating it, and my cheeks loosen in satisfaction.

Emma: Meat, tomatoes, onions, chickpeas, olives... I see...

Azel: I'm telling you, don't try to copy it.

Emma: Is it a secret recipe that can't be taken outside?

Azel: No, it's a common Tanzanite dish.

Azel: But if you're going to make it, make sure to cut the ingredients properly. It's annoying how difficult it is to eat.

Emma: Then you should have cut them... This kitchen has knives, right?

Azel: ...I cut my finger with one before.

Emma: Ah...

(For Azel, who hates blood, knives must have become a trauma.)

(Maybe that's why he always asks me to cook.)

Still, I catch a glimpse of his kindness in the fact that he cooked for me, and my cheeks loosen even more.

Azel: ...You irreverent girl.

Emma: I didn't say anything.

Azel: Your face is noisy.

Azel: You have no faith in God.

Emma: Maybe so.

Emma: ...That's probably why the apostle called out to me.

Azel gives a mischievous smile, as if he knew everything from the beginning.

Azel: You were invited to that phony gathering, weren't you?

Emma: Phony?

Azel: What else could it be but phony, going around preaching teachings I never gave?

(Azel seems to detest the apostle's activities.)

(...Come to think of it, it's strange, isn't it? Tanzanite has its own God.)

(And yet, it's not the God himself who's preaching his teachings.)

Emma: What exactly is this "phony gathering" like?

Azel: What else is there besides preaching the teachings of God?

Azel: Why do you doubt it?

Emma: It seems Clavis and Luke are attending too.

Azel: ...Ah.

With just those few words, Azel seemed to understand everything.

Azel: If you're curious, you can ask those two instead of me.

Azel: They'll tell you everything.

Azel: And unless you're fools, you'll realize...

Azel: That this country is all a dream, a castle built on sand, founded on illusion.

––Meanwhile, at Tanzanite Castle.

The castle, usually enveloped in sacred silence, is filled with a passionate clamor.

The assembled people proceed down a long corridor, being sucked into a spacious hall at the end.

At the edge of the crowd, neatly arranged by the castle servants, two men lean towards each other.

Clavis: It seems both the rich and the poor alike come to receive the teachings of God?

Luke: Doesn't look like there are any tourists.

Clavis: It's probably a show exclusively for their own citizens.

Luke: Nothing suspicious so far.

Clavis: Haha, as if there would be anything suspicious at a sacred gathering of God.

Clavis: But if you wish, I wouldn't mind personally turning this into an amusing theme park--

Luke: ...Stop having fun and do your job properly.

Clavis: ...Wh-what...?

Clavis: To think the day would come when I'd be told to work by that embodiment of sloth, Luke...

Luke: You're annoying...

Clavis: But you've really been full of motivation since coming to Tanzanite?

Clavis: Or rather, you seem to be "searching for something"...

Luke: ...

Clavis: Haha, come now, I'm not so uncouth as to pry into my little brother's private affairs.

Clavis: Big brother Clavis is always on your side. If there's something you want to do, go ahead and do it.

Clavis: However, monopolizing the pleasure is forbidden. Let's share the fun with your brother, shall we?

Luke: ...No thanks.

With a cough that sounds like spitting, the waves of clamor gradually recede.

Standing at the podium set up at the front of the hall is a gentle saint.

Clavis: Now then––it seems it's time to ascertain the truth of "that rumor."

The thick, luxurious doors of the hall close, trapping the air inside.

Apostle: My devout followers, thank you for gathering here tonight.

Luke: ...What is this?

Clavis: What's wrong?

Luke: ...Don't you smell something?

Clavis: Smell...?

Clavis: Ah, it seems to be that.

Clavis's golden eyes indicate censers placed as if hidden in the shadows of the pillars.

Placed at regular intervals, their fragrance gradually dominates the enclosed space.

Apostle The great Moon's incarnation of our country generously bestows its blessings upon us.

Apostle: That the people of Tanzanite can cherish life, savor joy, enjoy comfort, and revere love...

Apostle: It can be said that it's all thanks to the Living God.

Apostle: However, there is a prophecy left behind by the first Living God long ago.

Luke: Hey, Clavis... this.

Clavis: Hmm...

Apostle: We must overcome this sorrowful prophecy and show absolute loyalty and trust to the Living God.

Apostle: We must not repay the divine grace with enmity.

Apostle: Now is the time, after a thousand years, to overcome the trial left by the first Living God.

Luke: ...What do we do?

Clavis: Of course...

Amidst the fervent crowd, the pleasure-loving prince takes out an ominous vial from his pocket.

Clavis: Let's have some fun.

-

The next day––

(I'm so tired.)

I've been running around the vast temple with cleaning tools, but finally, my exhaustion reaches its limit, and I collapse onto the stairs.

(And it's all because of that demanding God...)

*earlier this morning*

Azel: I'd like you to do a thorough cleaning today. From corner to corner.

Emma: I have to go on errands for the owner...

Azel: Here, these are the cleaning tools. Allow me to bestow them upon you.

Emma: But my work--

Azel: Oh my, did the debtor say something?

Azel: If you intend to repay with your body, you shouldn't be able to refuse my request, right?

Emma: .................

Azel: Don't forget that you have no right to choose right now. Keep polishing until I say it's good enough.

*back to present*

(No matter how many times I clean, he finds fault like a malicious mother-in-law...!)

Unlike yesterday's mercifulness, today's Azel is ruthless.

(Could this be his revenge for me teasing him yesterday?)

(...I wanted to go to town.)

With a sigh, I look up at the ceiling––and in doing so, I happen to catch sight of the dimly lit corridor on the left.

*flashback*

Azel: The right side has been mostly renovated, so there's no problem, but the left side has partially collapsed.

Azel: If you're ever walking around here, never go to the left side.

Azel: If you happen to go in there––

Emma: ...If I do?

Azel: Hehe.

*back to present*

(...Just looking at the corridor, it seems to be well-maintained.)

Since I've been told it's off-limits, I don't intend to go in, but I can't deny my curiosity about what lies in the depths of that darkness.

(Is it really just unfinished renovations, or is there something else––)

Azel: Miss Emma.

Emma: ...!

Even though I haven't done anything wrong, I end up standing up.

Azel: Were you thinking about something shameful?

Emma: N-no... I was just going to start cleaning again after my break!

Azel: I don't care about that.

(Even though it was Azel who told me to polish thoroughly.)

(...Hmm?)

Emma: It's noisy outside.

(I can hear people's voices.)

(And they sound quite urgent...)

Azel: In that case, let me show you something interesting as a reward for cleaning.

.

.

.

Chapter 13 His Side Story

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to leave me a tip here or buy me a coffee through the "Leave a Tip" button on my navigation bar!

[ceruleanwhore]

People have talked about how a lot of the Ikemen games give all the suitors pets, so I thought I’d make a post of what pets I think the ikepri guys would have. 

WARNING: there’s a spoiler about Gilbert at the end, but the kind where you’d probably have to look something up to know what it is. Take that as you will.

Jin would absolutely have a small monkey that he’d wear on his shoulder into town as another way to pick up women. I could also see him training said monkey to steal little things from particular people he points out both as a way to get stuff from people for like his job but also as another, more contrived way to get women to talk to him. Think about it: Jin having his pet monkey steal a beautiful woman’s scarf so she has to chase it back to him and then he pretends to be surprised and disappointed that his pet did that and returns the object to its owner who now is falling for his charm and starting to think that maybe the monkey isn’t so bad.

Chevalier would have a cat because, as Sebastian from Black Butler once said, they do not say useless things or do them, plus they tend to be independent, clean, and kill vermin. He’d manage to find a cat that’s pretty much silent and never meows and also is fairly independent so, aside from occasionally curling up on Chev’s lap (silently) while he’s reading, it doesn’t require much from him.

Clavis would get a loud, messy dog like a rat terrier or a hound that he would deliberately not train to get rid of those typically undesirable behaviors because he likes the chaos and it annoys Chev and Sariel.

Leon would have a peregrine falcon. In older times, like the sort of time period ikepri is set in, there was a hierarchy of which birds of prey guys could have depending on what their title was as royalty or nobility, and princes got peregrines, so I think that’s appropriate.

Yves would have some kind of bird, I’m thinking a rosy-faced lovebird. I could see it being a gift one of his brothers brought back for him from another country where they’re native, since it seemed that Yves could use a friend.

Licht would have an Irish wolfhound that he’d take for very long walks every morning at some ungodly hour when normal people are asleep.

Nokto would have a ferret. Being as clever as he is, he’d do well with an equally clever pet, plus he’ll be able to properly care for it and train it. I could see him teaching his ferret a bunch of tricks, including sneaking into locked rooms and unlocking doors from the inside.

Luke would have a fucking badger. Idk it just makes sense to me.

Sariel wouldn’t have a pet of his own but, since the king’s death, he would take over the duties of caring for the late king’s gyrfalcon until a new king is chosen and that bird then goes to whoever Emma picks to be the next king. This is also coming from that bird hierarchy I mentioned with Leon.

Rio would have a bunny because it reminds him of Emma. He is a golden retriever, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to then get a dog, but something that reminds him of his beloved Emma makes sense for him. He’d ‘joke’ about how it’s to keep him company while she’s at work and how he pretends it’s her and they have long conversations or whatever.

Silvio would have something really small and cute like a stoat that’s like the dead opposite of Silvio. He would’ve rescued it somehow and from there he’s just really attached to it and protective of it.

Keith would be really fond of the fish in the pond at the Jade palace and that’s as close as he gets to having a pet because he’s a sad boi who doesn’t trust himself not to hurt the things and people he loves.

Gilbert would have a golden eagle (more of that bird stuff) and he would 1000% keep that secret from anyone outside the Obsidian royal palace, because it’s a giveaway of who he really is. Also, I feel like he would actually have a close relationship with his bird, plus I do think rather than using the bird for hunting like actual royalty did, he would use it to intimidate people and also to send messages occasionally.

[unfortunatetheorist]

*Joint Theory 5 - @unfortunatetheorist & @snicketstrange*:

The End - Book Canon vs Netflix Canon

(Does Ishmael have a greater impact on our protagonists than expected?)

As much as we would have loved, or hated, to have seen the books' material 'copied and pasted' onto our screens, there are some things in the material that are simply too difficult/horrible to film, such as Dr Orwell & Sunny's 'duel', in TMM.

In this theory, @snicketstrange and I (@unfortunatetheorist) are going to be investigating differences between Book The Thirteenth, The End and Episode the... Last (26th?), The End.

The first is that:

BOOK: There is some narration from Lemony.

NETFLIX: There is absolutely NO input from Lemony.

This addition by Netflix removes the books' doubt of Lemony being a reliable narrator, as it shows the Baudelaires' direct experience.

Book Lemony knew what had happened there and the consequences of it - Lemony knew Kit had died when he wrote TE. But Netflix Lemony only discovered this after he met with Beatrice Baudelaire II. This is an important chronological difference: when Beatrice II started looking for Lemony it was around the time he was yet to publish the TWW book, and that is evidenced by the fact that Beatrice Jr did not identify the paperweight in the shape of leeches despite her having already read some of Lemony's books according to her words.

The Netflix show's writer(s) probably chose this to deal with TSS's secret letter. The screenwriter(s) interpreted the letter to mean that Lemony did NOT know that Kit was dead.

Meaning:

BOOK: Lemony knows Kit is dead during the writing of TE.

NETFLIX: Lemony does NOT know Kit is dead until he meets Beatrice II.

Also, this notable curiosity:

BOOK: Every single islander is NAMED.

NETFLIX: Only a few of the islanders are named, such as Miranda, Friday and Alonso.

This could be due to the fact that in the books, the Baudelaires are implicitly, but still evidently, Jewish. In the Netflix series, they probably saw that as some sort of risk of anti-semitism (i.e. Jewish persecution) and so had to remove all possible traces, e.g. Rabbi Bligh, to ensure the show still aired.

Another:

BOOK: Ishmael was chemistry teacher at Prufrock.

NETFLIX: Ishmael was the principal of Prufrock.

This is quite considerable, especially linking to ATWQ and Cleo's love and talent for chemistry - he could('ve) be(en) a chemistry teacher with the name Ishmael N Knight, as a family member of Cleo and Ingrid and... Cleo's other somehow-forgotten parent. Also, the fact that in the series, Ishmael started V.F.D. - this means that Netflix's Baudelaires had it wrong the whole time, but they only learnt when he mentioned his story: in the Netflix series, the root cause of the Baudelaires' trouble was actually Ishmael.

If he didn't start V.F.D. nothing would've happened...

Now we come to what is, arguably, the most important difference of all:

BOOK: There is a mutiny/schism between the islanders, because the islanders do things in secret, such as Professor Fletcher teaching islanders how to read, and Madame Nordoff learning how to yodel.

NETFLIX: There is NO mutiny.

The mutiny was probably left out of the Netflix series due to the budget for showtime and money - it was too much to carry out.

However, within this difference, there are other differences, such as:

BOOK: The Baudelaires [temporarily] get kicked out from the island, before Finn and Erewhon bring them some mild onion soup.

NETFLIX: Nothing happens to the Baudelaires.

There's a lot to unpick in TE, even for Snicket-ologists like us; it can get really trivial, especially with lines like Olaf's "You don't know anything".

As the 'poet' Emma Montana McElroy said:

"That's the end of that".

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph & @snicketstrange,

Unfortunate Theorists/Snicketologists

[starvels]

Steve going to Emma for Dom lessons so he can top Tony like he deserves

(Tony says Steve is doing just fine, amazing even, but when poked and prodded into giving feedback Steve can read between the lines of his answers and see Steve isn’t the BEST Dom in terms of technique YET, and Steve doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know who the #1 is so he goes to learn from the best)

((And is Tony aware he didn’t disguise his answers and feedback enough that Steve knows he isn’t #1??))

have you read oluka's fabulous fic here? concerning this very topic mhmmm.

theirs is a fun dynamic and i think in a lot of AUs, emma is doing something with teaching and dominance lol.

i honestly think there's something really fun about characters exploring how to get better at kink/bdsm and understanding that they aren't the best. also there's a real sexy playful dynamic that happens when two people who have very headstrong personalities and might dominate other people, go ahead and experience really good, fulfilling submission with someone who isn't like, Their End-All-Be-All-Person whom they would choose to kill at the end of all things because nothing matters more than them <3 just_little_stevetony_things.mp3 yunno? but that casualness with a party outside of them allows for less pressure on the exploration and a different sort of intimacy and discovery, i think.

also we, as a society deserve more big men being dommed by smaller women, like. we all do.

[cottagecrowe]

Ok I finally have words for some shit that's been bothering me SO BADLY, lol

So whenever some movies snuck in modern day feminism into things like Anne with an E, or the newest Little Women, etc., It always felt badly written, out of place, awkward, and just came off as cringe-y, and I had no idea why.

For something like Tauriel being slapped into The Hobbit, it was obvious. She was there specifically and only to give more "strong female representation", and the team even fully admits that... It just makes you wanna wrinkle your nose cause for one thing we do...? Have strong women in TLOTR??

I could go on a whole separate post just rehashing the problems with the existing material with women in it that other people have already talked about for sure, but for at least one kind of portrayal of strong women, it IS there.

I also think some of the eps in TROP gives us that in a bit of a more eloquent way, too. You know, in a way that just feels natural and part of the story and was written in well? Not like a separate modern day speech just copy pasted into a fantasy movie/period drama/classical book made into show/movie?

But it being inserted like that into recently made period dramas and/or classical books like Jane Austen and Little Women is REALLY rubbing me the wrong way.

1. I feel like even if they didn't write it that way and you go back and realize as much, you remember the lil speech they gave in your head using modern day language/terms when they like...are in fucking 1870 or something and would absolutely not be talking like that, lol.

2. Again, it just feels like it's copy-paste inserted into the moment they felt would work most to put it. If it's an original show, this just feels...forced? And if it's off of a book, it feels forced and inserted because that's exactly what it is, lol.

3. It's...always MODERN DAY feminism. Believe me I have absolutely no issue with feminism being in a movie/show, even if it's integrated to be more highlighted in a newer version of a book or something, like Emma, or Little Women~.

I will always and forever die on this hill, but I think one of the movies that has always done it the best in both a historical, AND fairytale/fantasy manner, was Ever After A Cinderella Story. Seriously, everyone go give that movie some more love. Jane Eyre, in general, also does.

BUT. Modern day feminism slapped into...historical fantasy/period drama...? What?? Lol, it feels so much more natural if you ya know...have it be verbage of the state of growth that feminism was...at the time in history your media is centered around..? From the way they talk, to the way they expressed their frustrations, to their mannerisms big and small, to HOW you insert it as naturally as possible and not just to have a big obvious speech moment like you think your audience is fucking stupid and not going to understand unless you have that kind of moment in it.

Personally, I always loved watching Jane Austen movies made in the 90's, and then going off with my immense love for them, and taking my own initiative to learn and do research behind the feminism of the times more.

Fuck, that's how I also ended up learning so much LGBT+ history, too, tbh, which helped to lead me to question the teachings I was raised on, and follow down a better path. And I still have so much more to learn of both.

I also love to SHARE that knowledge with other people, and part of me just feels like when it's more lazy like this, just any chance for more people to learn cool facts about our history, is sort of taking away a potential opportunity to look back on people of the past and understand the struggles of their time. To stop looking at them as inferior just because they lived a long time ago, and instead hear their voices and stories, and let them continue to be remembered.

Idk, I want more feminism in more media, but whenever I think about that fucking speech Joe gave to Laurie about marriage, or Anne gave her class about periods, while I have no doubt/am gladdened by the fact I'm sure it will help a lot more girls speak up and continue to do so...it just feels so ick, lol.

It's like I can feel the "ugh we just wanna capitalize off this, so get it out of the way and move on, whatever" energy that's with it. Sort of like how they kept building up the power rangers movie for having a lesbian, and we got the saddest and smallest little thing out of that ever, while everyone was making a huge deal about it, lol. Yes, baby steps are progress too, but idk. I feel there is still good cause in annoyance and anger over the stupid parts surrounding it, too, lol.

Honestly, we shouldn't HAVE to have baby steps towards any kind of progress like this. We shouldn't HAVE to fight tooth and nail for our voices to be heard and our trauma and bodies to be valued and shown respect.

Capitalism is the biggest con and conspiracy we could've ever done to ourselves, tbh.

Anyway, this went in many directions but if anyone related or understood what I was trying to put down and stuck out reading this, ily and thank you~

I do also understand this type of media may just Not Be Made For Me, and that's cool too~! But something about it just leaves an icky taste in my mouth, lol.

If nothing else, even if you enjoy these movies and shows, I beg of you to search for some way to watch the 90's/80's ones (yes, even the Pride and Prejudice bc you can dislike it all you want, if nothing else they filmed that thing beautifully and I'll die on that hill lol), and the og Anne of Green Gables, and take any love you grow for any of them as an excuse to learn more about women in all sorts of times and cultures, to better listen to their voices and merge them with your own. At the end of the day, that's all that's the most important, and even if the newer versions of these accomplish that for some people, I'll be a little happier, lol~

[d011zk1ll]

Collection of headcanons I have for Emma

Prefers salty over sweet (like her mother)

Plays with their hair when nervous (consequently incredible at braiding hair and stuff)

Dyes their dad's hair and her tips a lot (although her hair doesn't cling to the dye well and washes out after a couple washes)

Prefers showers over baths

Favourite scent is strawberry tart, it reminds her of the strawberry perfume her mother uses and the pastry smell that hangs around her father (since he's a baker)

Brings in treats that she cooked herself every Friday and hands them out to her classmates

Likes summer fruit squash

Her handwriting is impeccable but their note taking skills are horrendous

Ballet dancer (since she was a child but it turns out being experienced at quick, swift and elegant movements not only helps during akuma fights, but also assists them when Plaggs bad luck causes her to be incredibly clumsy.)

The ring does grant her bad luck (like in the anime PV) so she takes it off and puts it on a chain around her neck whilst dancing in case she needs it (much to her father's disdain and worry) , they keep it on her middle finger every other time.

Marinette teaches them self defense and she has broken someone's arm before (albeit they were probably some sort of creep so it's okay)

Like her mother in the sense they stands up for those who can't, isn't afraid to make a ruckus when something is unfair and fights for justice because it's the right thing to do

Has absolutely berated many of Louise's classmates for deadnaming him (because he's a trans man in this au cause I SAID SO)

I'll probably reblog with more as I think of some

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 59

Chapter 59: “Choose Your Weapon”

I really wanna know what what going on in WM’s head when he decided it was okay to hoard all sorts of weapons for children to use. Yeah it might not seem too bad for kids from Glory Bell & Grand Valley who could have older shipment ages than those from Grace Field, but still so dangerous. And I love it. But clearly the anime didn’t.

Do you wish to know what truly is heavy? All the sadness in my heart from never being able to see our best girl armed in season two. Bows & arrows are decent, but you can’t expect me to believe they fought through all those later arcs in that final ep slideshow with absolutely no fire power.

Naturally RE follow Sonju’s teachings in the upcoming chapters, but I also remembered Don follows this advice in ch138 as well.

Bunker dad may not give them any pointers for choosing what weapons will suit them best, but they do pretty darn fine in figuring out what they’ll need and what will be helpful for them all on their own. Ray’s little thumbs up is precious.

Please speak up Ray, I don’t think the anime heard you about only using bows & arrows. I was surprised up rereading this chapter just now that they also have a supply of shields, bombs and barbed wire, but even a medieval flail? This armory truly has everything imaginable. Again, nothing children should be using but eh, that’s where the fun comes in.

“Quite useful” is such an understatement! Take this! Hold onto it dearly! Never let it go! For it is a literal lifesaver!

The only mildly amusing part of this scene being cut from season two was seeing how confused anime-onlys reacted to see Ray’s ear in later episodes. Thinking he also cut his off like Emma did was a fair assumption I’ll admit, but she did clearly state in ep11 (with scalpel in hand) that she was just gonna remove his tracker. They actually had time to do so while Emma had to rush to remove hers between her fabulous performance and running away from Isabella and the burning house. Still sucks because we missed out on more medic Anna though. But aah, my boy, you need to stop giving such adorable smiles. I wanna pinch your cheeks.

Sigh, I seriously thought it was this panel the “Identity” OP was referencing the first time I saw it, even though it clearly shows Emma after the time skip (thanks to the hair clips). Still had a small hope they would’ve filled that empty space with Yuugo and not... Norman. (listening to the song again just now and can confirm that it still hits me with many emotions.. season two may have been a train wreck but the OP remains an absolute banger of a track).

They care for her (and Ray) so damn much it makes me soft! AAHH! Especially the part about her not hiding any injuries to the point she collapses like she did in the demon’s forest. Poor Yuugo is so sick of all these mushy feelings. At least he’ll be away from it all for a couple days.

YESSS GILDA! Gotta say it’s one of my favorite moments of hers.. it’s just badass and the threat actually works! He’s absolutely terrified upon his return in ch96 because of how totally serious she was.

Favorite panel/moment:

BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA BAZOOKA EMMA

[moviemunchies]

I admit that I have a lot of nostalgic attachment to this movie. Going to see it is one of my fond memories from my senior year of high school, and one of the few of those that I feel hasn’t been poisoned by later events in life.

Anyway, here’s Zombieland.

Meet Columbus! (The characters go by the name of their home city or where they’re trying to get back to, as they avoid using real names to avoid getting attached.) He’s a timid shut-in college student who somehow survived the zombie apocalypse thus far, in part because he’s created a strict list of survival rules that he follows religiously. He meets up with Tallahassee, a violent survivalist who loves killing zombies, and they decide to ride together. They are shortly after joined by Wichita and Little Rock, a duo of two sisters who have made it by betraying others. This unlikely group travels west to find the fabled Pacific Playland, a park supposedly without zombies, while trying to not die or not kill each other.

I think that this movie succeeds for three main reasons:

ONE: This movie hit during the zombie craze. Really, there was this time in pop culture when everyone would not shut up about zombies. They were everywhere, and this movie was able to capitalize on that pop culture obsession.

[I want to be clear that this movie doesn’t pull too many punches with the way zombies look. These are not clean zombies! They are scarred, wounded, bloody, and very often vomiting goop. It’s downright gross. So even though it’s mostly lighthearted, it’s not as if you think that the apocalypse depicted is pleasant in the slightest.]

TWO: This movie released during a time when R-rated comedies were still big. They still exist now, yeah, but mostly stick to streaming releases. Joy Ride came out in theaters this year, and look how it did. But over a decade ago, it seemed like these movies were always coming out.

THREE: It’s a darn good movie!

This movie is everything it sets out to be, I think. It’s a hilarious action comedy, while also being a post-apocalyptic drama with good action sequences, and also has great performances, AND well-written character development. That’s a tall order for a movie, and a lot wouldn’t be able to pull it off. But Zombieland did it! By gosh, they did it! 

I mean no, not everything hits perfectly. There’s a montage of the group driving which pretty much is the movie’s way of saying “They are bonding now!” which seems an awkward way to skip over development. But there are also scenes of them bonding, in ways that actually make a difference to the characters (Tallahassee teaching Little Rock to shoot comes to mind). So yes, it DID do the work to develop these characters, and I’m glad to see that it pays off in a satisfying way.

Amber Heard is in this movie. This isn’t really part of my review, but I didn’t realize this until fairly recently and thought it was an interesting tidbit.

Columbus is sort of the “Nerd Hero” that we saw a lot for a while in pop culture fiction, especially back when it was still assumed (by Hollywood, anyway) that nerds were all losers who had trouble talking to other people and played World of Warcraft all day. But I don’t know, this never really bothered me much with Columbus in this movie, because, well, he did survive the zombie apocalypse, didn’t he? He may be a shut-in, but his methods work because he’s approaching things logically. He’s not brave, he’s careful, and it works. It’s when he’s with other people that he has to push past those boundaries, but in a way that doesn’t require him to be completely stupid, just rethink his approach to things.

Worth noting: there’s a joke where Columbus says the best thing about the apocalypse is no Facebook? A couple of years later, the actor played Zuckerberg in The Social Network. Thought it was a bit amusing.

Do you remember back when Emma Stone was in everything? It was a bit weird; not bad, because she’s a good actress, but weird. Her role in this movie in particular is tricky, because it’s a character who keeps double-crossing our hero, and yet we’re still meant to like her in the end. That’s a hard balance to pull off! And yet she does it.

And of course, Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee. He’s kind of what makes this movie. He’s the character everyone I knew got attached to as they watched the film. He’s the most quotable, the most capable, and in a weird way the most sympathetic. Harrelson does a fantastic job with this role, and to me it’s one of the most memorable.

[Side note: there’s a line where Columbus says that Tallahassee looks like Yosemite Sam, and, uh… not really? Was this line written when the character was expected to be played by someone else?]

So see this movie! If you’re okay with watching our characters whaling on undead abominations, you’ll have great fun seeing Zombieland. I think it’s mostly aged well, and it’s great to see a movie that’s just allowed to be fun, not part of some larger universe or series. It’s just Zombieland, and that’s fine, and that’s great.

Though there was an attempt to make a TV series out of it, that never got past the pilot…

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

Sweet. Just read the latest chapter. We are getting closer and closer. Now, who is the last character to get a POV chapter?

Also, which of the four houses of Hogarts would you sort each of the 40 in?

The next POV is Heine Wittgenstein from The Royal Tutor!

As for the houses, it took a while, but I think I got it!

(Houses are subject to change.)

MCS (WE): Hogwarts Houses

Gryffindor:

Spike Spiegel

Very reckless, both to his surroundings and to himself, but doesn’t back down when faced with the impossible. And his anti-hero fits since he has a certain disregard for the rules.

U-1146

A soldier through and through as he is willing everyday to put his life on the line for the sake of the cells and the body. He goes to great lengths to ensure everyone is safe.

Haruka Nanase

He is quite stubborn, as exemplified by his love of swimming freestyle and how firmly he stands for what he believes in, and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind.

Korra

Definitely hot headed, but will immediately fight those who dare to threaten the peace and even when she is at an all time low, she is determined to get better, even if she has to go it alone.

Mako Mankanshoku

She could be considered a Hufflepuff, but I believe Gryffindor is the best for her because in a world where people gain powers through clothes, she had rarely ever used a goku uniform and only used one where it really counted. She is willing to dive head first into a battle to help her friends.

Rin Okumura

Aside from having a hot temper, he stands up for what is right, despite being shunned from society and is willing to put his life on the line to save others.

Zuko

He would be a confused Gryffindor, but he is stubborn to a fault, still has a moral code, even when everything he was taught was proven wrong, and doesn’t back down from a fight.

Edward Elric

Is willing to go great lengths for his brothers and others, even giving up the one thing that was a part of him for them. He charges straight forward into danger and sticks to his ideals.

Emma

Was willing to face off into a world full of demons to ensure the rest of the children make it out safely. Even if it cost her something beyond repair.

Hufflepuff:

Italy

As a character, he is a peacekeeper. He runs from the very idea of fighting, especially from Britain. But he is genuine and dependable, even if he gets the directions mixed up, he does his hardest to please others.

Saitama

Now, Gryffindor seems to be a perfect fit, seeing that he is a superhero. But he is hardworking, as seen with his 3 year training regimine, and he is humble, to the point of where he would turn the mass against him just for the sake of the other heroes.

Yuuri Katsuki

Definitely a hard worker, exemplified by his dedication to skating. Not to mention he has a good heart, which serves him well as he continues through his journey of skating.

Naegi Makoto

Definitely kind to the point where he is a push over, but he is dedicated to his classmates and he works hard to ensure that everyone is safe and comes out unharmed. 

Kae Serinuma

Even though she can be an airhead at times, she likes to go with the flow and still has a caring heart to others. She also takes on chores and work in stride with no complaints.

Legoshi

Introverted and quiet, he tries to stay in the shadows, but he is dedicated to the tasks given to him and is fiercely loyal to those he cares for.

Chika Fujiwara

Yes, she does have a manipulation streak about her, but she doesn’t go out of the way to intentionally hurt anyone with it. She is also dedicated and patience, as seen when she is teaching Shirogane in everything

Ryota Suzui

Just like Makoto, he is a pushover. He also doesn’t like to take chances unlike his fellow classmates, but he has a good heart and is loyal to the point where he is willing to take risks.

Tohru Honda

Kind, thoughtful, loving, she is one of the best representations of a Hufflepuff, because even if the world tells her no, or even when she’s scared, she strives to help others around and show them unconditional compassion, even to the enemies.

Izuku Midoriya

While many people would put him as a Gryffindor, I see him as a Hufflepuff because his big heart is the core of his character. He cares deeply for others and has no problems when working with others, even if the other person is unwilling.

Shoyo Hinata

Just like with Midoriya, I see Hinata more as a Hufflepuff because he is kind and incredibly hard working to the point of where you need to tell him to stop. And come, you’ve seen Hinata’s feral stare. Not all Hufflepuffs are angels.

Tanjiro Kamado

I was so torn between this and Gryffindor, but after looking at his backstory, he’s more of a Hufflepuff. Yes, he is brave and isn’t afraid to go toe to toe with demons, but his end goal is to find a cure for Nezuko, which in turn created his new goal of protecting others. He is dedicated to his training, even if it hurts him and is fiercely loyal to his friends

Iruma Suzuki

Aside from his horrible life still, he likes to help other people and is willing to do anything for his friends and new family. He is hard working, kind, and can be depended upon.

Shigeo Kageyama

He has shown his willingness in fighting against the greater evil, but what really stands out is his heart and his dedication to others. He also works very hard, even when it’s tough on him, such as with the Body Improvement Club. 

Ravenclaw:

Heine Wittgenstein

He devoted his life to giving kids and others the education they need, both in academics and in life. He holds education to the utmost degree.

Satoru Fujinuma

Level headed and quick thinking, Satoru is constantly thinking the best and logical ways of preventing the murders in the past while trying to find the serial killer in the future.

Kobayashi

While Hufflepuff may seem like a good option, I believe she fits in Ravenclaw. She observes and takes mental notes about Tohru and the others, of both their relationships and their pasts. And she listens and imparts her own wisdom onto them when they need it most. And she is incredibly patient when teaching them about the human world.

Langa Hasegawa

He is both a natural and a faster learner when it comes to the world of skating, which becomes his main interest as he befriends Reki.

Mafuyu Sato

While others mistake his quietness for being shy, he can be quite blunt and is highly perceptive of those around him.

Tetsuya Kuroko

While considered average academically, he is insightful and is always carefully observing his opponents to come up with strategies.

Haruhi Fujioka

A little bit obvious for a scholarship student, but she would thrive with the Ravenclaws as she is both intelligent and observational.

Senku Ishigami

He takes pride in science, but not only that, he takes pride in teaching others about sciences, even though he might go a little overboard, that’s just him being passionate about the subject he loves.

Soma Yukihira

He is constantly learning new cooking techniques. And when one way fails, he looks for a better solution to it. Working in the restaurant business has made him innovative and adaptable.

Slytherin:

Levi Ackerman

Given his background, he had to learn to be resourceful and ruthless to survive. He is also quite adaptable and analytical, which aside from his strength, makes him one of the top scouts in the Survey Corps.

Satoru Gojo

Aside from his “pureblood” vibes, he is quite driven and ambitious. Plus if we want to go darker, he has kind of a sadistic personality when dealing with curses, especially the higher tier evil ones.

L Lawliet

He would fit into Ravenclaw, if not for the tactics he used during the investigation. He removes emotions out the equations, unless it is to give psychological report, and isn’t above tricking others to get the results he wants 

Kusuo Saiki

When his true personality shows through, he is a Slytherin. He always weighs the pros and cons while focusing on getting to his goal and is adaptable when things go awry. 

Nagisa Shiota

He had to learn to play the docile character in order to get by, especially as an assassin so his opponents would underestimate him.

Hanako-kun

Definitely represents the better qualities of Slytherin, but he is willing to use manipulative and underhand techniques, even if it's to protect others.

Ciel Phantomhive

Like L, he is not above trickery and deceit to get what he wants. Not to mention his main goal is to exact revenge on those who harmed him and his family, so he can be quite ruthless.

Killua Zoldyck

Gryffindor was the second choice, but given his profession, both as an assassin and a hunter, and given his lifestyle growing up, he would make an excellent Slytherin.

[naivesilver]

Your icon doesn't make this sound threatening at all @melon14 I swear asjkdhakjshjfhjfhajkh

Jokes aside, I've already given this AU some basic groundwork in this post, but:

the kids' ages will necessarily vary a lot more than they do in EAH canon to better fit show events - Ramona, Ash and Maddie are among the oldest, and Apple is slightly older than the twins, a fact which she will occasionally lord over Raven;

Apple and Raven having genuine schoolyard drama going on is so funny to me. Like, what are they feuding over? Who Henry loves more as a little sister figure? Their mothers' war? If One Direction was better than Nirvana? Nobody fucking knows, especially not their dads;

(on a more serious note though, Apple has an inner conflict nearly as complicated as her canon self - sure, no one is telling her to follow some fixed destiny guidelines here, but the pressure of having a family filled with heroes and Certified Good PeopleTM might still get to her. Moreover, Emma's jealousy was off the charts when she was born, even though Snow tries to pretend it never happened;)

I'D FORGOTTEN OUAT HAD FRANKENSTEIN WALKING AROUND CAN WE BRANCH OUT INTO MONSTER HIGH TOO????? Because I'd be STOKED to have Francesca "Frankie" Whale show up as a consequence of her dad's actions (also Jekyll and Hyde are there so like...Hyde Serum!Jackson and Holt when);

Sparrow is a mama's boy while Raven is a daddy's girl and it SHOWS;

you know that meme with the lizard and its offspring that goes "children this is dirt" "dirt?" "dirt?" "dirt?"? That's Ruby with her babies on Wolfstime. Mama wolf running through the woods and teaching her pups things while Dorothy has some time to herself;

they're all very protective of Cedar, regardless of any squabble or picked side. Raven, Maddie and Cerise are protective of Cedar, Apple is protective of Cedar, Sparrow is protective of Cedar, even though he usually doesn't give his sister's friends the time of the day. Basically everyone took one (1) glance at this tiny, shy puppet girl and was immediately flooded with love;

that definitely includes the adults in her life, BTW. Of course daddy adores her and grandpa is beyond thrilled, but the moment Dr Archie Jiminy Hopper realizes that this kid is nothing like young Geppetto and Pinocchio and is instead sweet, quiet and capable of staying put when she's asked to? He's sold. He'd have loved her no matter what, but at least Cedar's behavior won't give him a heart attack before he's 50;

I still think that Cedar should have that wood gene show up in the worst possible moment, but it'd probably be an innate trait of hers rather than the result of Blue's active intervention. HOWEVER, what Blue would most definitely do is try to imply that Cedar did something to deserve what's happening to her, which is nearly as bad imho;

not that that would fly with August, honestly. He's barely convinced by the fact that he deserved his various punishments - you mean to tell him that his little girl, who's been deemed extremely pleasant to have around by just about everyone she meets, has somehow committed some sort of sin and is being puppet-ified as a result? Are you shitting him? This is gonna give him the catharsis arc OUAT never bothered to send his way, alright;

finally, there's a ton of characters I still haven't managed to work in, like Farrah, Faybelle or just any other male character, so if anyone has better ideas, let me know please I'm begging you these kids are so complicated adjshjkfhk

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

greetings! here i am starting off my morning with the emma roberts defense squad in my asks. not replying individually since it’s likely the same person anyway.

let me start with the obvious: shame on you for defending an abuser. i hope you grow to realize how despicable an act it is. emma roberts will never see you defending her on social media; however, a friend, family member or acquaintance may, and could have already been afraid they wouldn’t be believed as a victim. i also want to make it clear that is is neither here nor there to me whether evan ever defended emma - of course he would. people who tolerate abuse find all sorts of ways to justify staying and loving their abuser. my mom also defended my abusive father. but i’m not here to teach a psych class, so let’s proceed to my response regarding emvan. i will respond to the portions i think need to be explained or debunked.

“when the police arrived, they were found hitting each other and she was arrested because his injuries injuries were already visible, but days later emma was seen with bruises, scratches and scrapes all over body confirmed to be from him.” i don’t think anyone here will argue they were physically fighting. i don’t think anyone would be having their nose busted up and bitten and not fight back in some form or fashion, in defense of themselves. if evan wanted to over power her, he absolutely could have - he didn’t physically harm her because he had the restraint to not do so. the bruises and scratches emma showed off during her scheduled pap walk after evan refused to press charges are not indications of abuse from evan. they are indications that she was throwing herself around and assaulting her boyfriend the day before.

“we know they abused each other” no, we don’t. stop spreading misinformation. we know emma abused evan. we have zero substantiated proof that evan ever did anything to emma.

“Its in the past why cant you guys piss off!” i absolutely will not piss off. i detest abusers and wish them the very worst.

to people who support abusers, i hope you have the worst day possible. to everyone else, i hope you have a lovely one 🥰

[thelesbiansuperjesus]

Can you please talk more about your strugglewoman Emma

ofc dear anon,

first i am going to have to explain the lore of superpowers in my universe.

before there were humans on earth there was a race of all powerful aliens. they were basically gods, and they loved doing silly little science experiments. for their next experiment they wanted to create a new species on some random little planet. they chose earth because it was good enough. they genetically engineered some of their own people to not have superpowers like the aliens did but to still carry the gene that gives them powers. it was just inactive. they were sent to earth and over time their population grew. the gene that would potentially give them powers became rare and almost completely evolved out because it basically served no purpose. yet. you see, the aliens didn't just leave after they put the humans there. they stuck around in our solar system and would check in every 76 years. their spaceship was known to humans as Halley's comet. in 1986, the last time "Halley's comet" visited earth, the aliens sent out some sort of signal that activated the gene in the people who still had it. ever since then, people with that gene had activated superpowers. think x-men. this is basically x-men.

my main character is Emma Murphy. in the beginning of the story she is 14 years old and a freshman. she first got her powers in 7th grade while sitting in class. she noticed that the lights started getting brighter, and she started seeing colors she had never seen before. these were the different waves on the em spectrum that are invisible to the average human. she got some really bad migraines from the sensory overload and she still has them to this day. bummer. one day she was in the car with her parents and the radio was on and the radio waves were hurting her a lot. she got so stressed that she accidentally made the radio go bezerk. this is when she realized that she could actually control the different wavelengths of light. awsome.

ok lets get to the actual story

so we first meet emma as she is giving a presentation about superheros to her class. she does well and goes to the bathroom to celebrate. in the bathroom she is using her powers ( a little lightshow) when a fellow classmate ( darcy) walks in on her. this ofc would be really bad but it turned out that darcy also had powers. darcy invites her to hang out after school because she had her own little super hero team.

introduction to the other characters:

Darcy: she has water powers. at first she didnt think she had powers and she was jealous of her father and brother for having them. apparently her lack of powers were caused by the puberty blockers she was on but once she went on estrogen her powers came. she has trans swag

William: darcy's brother. he has fire powers. he wears gloves that have flint and steel on them so he can make a spark, and from there he can control the fire he just made. he wears a gas mask because although he is fire proof he is not smoke proof.

Adam: he has super strength. his skin cannot be pierced by most metals which sounds cool but means he cant really get top surgery so he just had to bind. he later ends up dating Darcy.

Salem: they are a witch. they have a walking cane that can turn into a magical staff when they need it to. their father is also a witch and he teaches them witchcraft. they have a bad leg and cant really move that fast but they can just club people in the head with the staff or turn them into frogs. they have a familiar named chunko who is a opossum and he is an asshole.

Mary: mary actually does not join the group for a while and starts out as a bad guy. when she was 12 she noticed that her skin was starting to turn red. her parents took her to the doctors and they suspected it was a rash, but it didn't ich. in the following weeks horns started to sprout from her head and she grew a tail. her nails and teeth got sharper and her pupils became slits. her parents were very religious and thought she was becoming a demon so they took her out of school and isolated her in the house. pretty shitty parents right? well they die in a car crash. bummer. Mary is all by herself and roams the streets for a while. she eventually joins a supervillain team and learns to fight. she fights my hero team a few times, but one time the hero's defeat the villain team and the rest of the villains escape without mary. the police were on their way and emma tells Mary her options. either come with her or go with the cops. ofc she went with the gang because being arrested isn't great. they pull a stranger things and she lives in emma's basement. bla bla bla character development bla bla bla tension and boom. emma and Mary are dating.

that is about as much as i will say for now but i remember any more lore i will add it in the reblogs.

i am not going to proofread this so sorry for the spelling.

also fuck i wrote a lot