#but it’s way easier than 2 for me
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I DID IT GUYS I FUCKING DID IT
#WOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THANK YOU SO MUCH LANAYRU!!!!!!!#i also did imprisoned 2 first bevause before this try i died on the 8th boss AGAIN with you guessed it:#fucking IMPRISONED 2#i didnt even get imprisoned 3 here#but it’s way easier than 2 for me#lanayru is not a dorito#no he is not in this post but he gave me the shield so i have to do his tag#bailey plays skyward sword
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heartbeat
#project sekai#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#prsk#proseka#prosekai#idfk.#colorful stage#yeah sure man#feel free to squint for ruikasa theres yaoi everywhere with those for the eyes to see i guess#thought it was funny w the howl tsukasa art when ppl jsut tagged assuming it was ruikasa. do howl and calcifer have yaoi ?#i read the book and i think calcifer can do better. idk.#Not doing so great but its way easier for me to post here than twt or insta or whatever so.#you get a month old wip i wont have the will nor time nor happiness to finish#i wanted to say I might not draw or post for a while but well 1 every time i say that i feel like drawing right after.#and it helps me cope or whatever. who cares. but 2. i post once a month anyways. so adios
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so i finally cleared prometheus on 32!
(and now i can get round to testing out the other weapons bc i unlocked eos' torches and then never looked back)
#chronos was fucking easy to clear did that months ago#but god did it take me forever to work my way through the surface#kept at it though bc back in the original hades early access i cleared on 8 and 16 (or what became 8 and 16 anyway)#(the heat totals used to be higher bc it used to max out at 140 - i wanna say it was like 20/60/120 or something like that?)#but regardless i managed the first two tiers when lernie was the final boss#but never managed much higher before the full game came out#and even once that happened i think my record is 27#and im continually mildly irritated i didn't get that last statue when getting that last statue was objectively easier#so this time i was not waiting around! i dunno when the next major update is coming out but i know it's soon#and fuck doing that boss (probably atlas) on 32 goddamn fear#(god bless the chronic illness kicking my ass this year? have an art piece i've been working on literally since the game came out)#(really excited to finish it)#(but it has been much easier lately to play hades in bed than to draw hades stuff which requires my desk)#hades 2#hades sgg#supergiant games#melinoe
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not only am i late to upload this i’m also exactly as late as i was last time a full year ago. anyways happy late gamer girl birthday
also a little doodle. for no particular reason or anything.
#martyn art#i should do more stuff with these monochrome palettes its a lot of fun#way easier & better-looking than me trying to manually replicate the og colors#yes i know i can colorpick the sprites. but the dangan colors suck ass#chihiro fujisaki#chiaki nanami#danganronpa#trigger happy havoc#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa goodbye despair
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ashe to test my new teal marker!! honestly i like it but i'm used to coloring his hair with pencils only so idk if i'm sticking with this or not
#witch's heart#witchs heart#whnoc#ashe bradley#i use the color orange?!#ok actually i still used 2 pencils in his hair here#but its way less than usual yk so its faster n easier... and looks good... me happy#ashe mellow art
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Anyone still calling late game Katsuki an abuser in 2024 is just not paying attention. Full stop.
#bkdk#bakudeku#every time I see an anti post they try to define bkdk shippers as just masking their hate of Izuku#or as inappropriately labeling them as childhood friends and that being the basis of the whole ship#or as of acting on the hand hold scene LIKE KATSUKI DID FOR ELEVEN PLUS YEARS IN CANON without realizing that it went sour that first time#or as abuse apologists#they like to whittle katsuki down to the black and white bully even now#in 2024#after everything he’s done#all the growing#they like to whittle Izuku down to a helpless child who can’t find it in himself to stand up for himself#even though canon Izuku not only tolerates Katsuki’s moods#he appreciates him and understands him#and finds joy in being around him#literally I get it if you see them as platonic only#that’s so super chill and an excellent dynamic#but people throwing hate at bkdk shippers only ever out themselves as not understanding or comprehending or even knowing the source material#at all#on the surface Katsuki yells at izuku for literally nothing and it definitely rubs you the wrong way if you are only paying surface level#attention#but after dvk pt 2 he literally only yells because it’s familiar#it’s easier to respond that way than to cope with the guilt that’s eating him alive whenever he sees how happy Izuku is just to be around h#he’s flustered#he’s got a crush#but doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to understand what it is or how to deal yet#Katsuki Bakugo is a flawed character who puts in the work to change and if you’re not acknowledging that you are not paying attention#anyway#lol the post a while ago that said ‘if you ship bkdk just admit you hate Izuku and move on’??????#lol I love him so much AND I ship bkdk because canon tells me that’s what he wants#at least I’m paying attention enough not to think he has to be babified
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Hey! It has been on my mind lately and i just wanna ask..idk if it would make sense but i just noticed that nowadays ppl cant separate the authors and their books (ex. when author wrote a story about cheating and ppl starts bashing the author for romanticizing cheating and even to a point of cancelling the author for not setting a good/healthy example of a relationship) any thoughts about it?
I have many, many thoughts on this, so this may get a little unwieldy but I'll try to corall it together as best I can.
But honestly, I think sometimes being unable to separate the author from the work (which is interesting to me to see because some people are definitely not "separating" anything even though they think they are; they just erase the author entirely as an active agent, isolate the work, and call it "objectivity") has a lot to do with some people being unable to separate the things they read from themselves.
I'm absolutely not saying it's right, but it's an impulse I do understand. If you read a book and love it, if it transforms your life, or defines a particular period of your life, and then you find out that the author has said or done something awful--where does that leave you? Someone awful made something beautiful, something you loved: and now that this point of communion exists between you and someone whose views you'd never agree with, what does that mean for who you are? That this came from the mind of a person capable of something awful and spoke to your mind--does that mean you're like them? Could be like them?
Those are very uncomfortable questions and I think if you have a tendency to look at art or literature this way, you will inevitable fall into the mindset where only "Good" stories can be accepted because there's no distinction between where the story ends and you begin. As I said, I can see where it comes from but I also find it profoundly troubling because i think one of the worst things you can do to literature is approach it with the expectation of moral validation--this idea that everything you consume, everything you like and engage with is some fundamental insight into your very character as opposed to just a means of looking at or questioning something for its own sake is not just narrow-minded but dangerous.
Art isn't obliged to be anything--not moral, not even beautiful. And while I expend very little (and I mean very little) energy engaging with or even looking at internet / twitter discourse for obvious reasons, I do find it interesting that people (online anyway) will make the entire axis of their critique on something hinge on the fact that its bad representation or justifying / romanticizing something less than ideal, proceeding to treat art as some sort of conduit for moral guidance when it absolutely isn't. And they will also hold that this critique comes from a necessarily good and just place (positive representation, and I don't know, maybe in their minds it does) while at the same time setting themselves apart from radical conservatives who do the exact same thing, only they're doing it from the other side.
To make it abundantly clear, I'm absolutely not saying you should tolerate bigots decrying that books about the Holocaust, race, homophobia, or lgbt experiences should be banned--what I am saying, is that people who protest that a book like Maus or Persepolis is going to "corrupt children", and people who think a book exploring the emotional landscape of a deeply flawed character, who just happens to be from a traditionally marginalised group or is written by someone who is, is bad representation and therefore damaging to that community as a whole are arguments that stem from the exact same place: it's a fundamental inability, or outright refusal, to accept the interiority and alterity of other people, and the inherent validity of the experiences that follow. It's the same maniacal, consumptive, belief that there can be one view and one view only: the correct view, which is your view--your thoughts, your feelings.
There is also dangerous element of control in this. Someone with racist views does not want their child to hear anti-racist views because as far as they are concerned, this child is not a being with agency, but a direct extension of them and their legacy. That this child may disagree is a profound rupture and a threat to the cohesion of this person's entire worldview. Nothing exists in and of and for itself here: rather the multiplicity of the world and people's experiences within it are reduced to shadowy agents that are either for us or against us. It's not about protecting children's "innocence" ("think of the children", in these contexts, often just means "think of the status quo"), as much as it is about protecting yourself and the threat to your perceived place in the world.
And in all honestt I think the same holds true for the other side--if you cannot trust yourself to engage with works of art that come from a different standpoint to yours, or whose subject matter you dislike, without believing the mere fact of these works' existence will threaten something within you or society in general (which is hysterical because believe me, society is NOT that flimsy), then that is not an issue with the work itself--it's a personal issue and you need to ask yourself if it would actually be so unthinkable if your belief about something isn't as solid as you think it is, and, crucially, why you have such little faith in your own critical capacity that the only response these works ilicit from you is that no one should be able to engage with them. That's not awareness to me--it's veering very close to sticking your head in the sand, while insisting you actually aren't.
Arbitrarily adding a moral element to something that does not exist as an agent of moral rectitude but rather as an exploration of deeply human impulses, and doing so simply to justify your stance or your discomfort is not only a profoundly inadequate, but also a deeply insidious, way of papering over your insecurities and your own ignorance (i mean this in the literal sense of the word), of creating a false and dishonest certainty where certainty does not exist and then presenting this as a fact that cannot and should not be challenged and those who do are somehow perverse or should have their characters called into question for it. It's reductive and infantilising in so many ways and it also actively absolves you of any responsibility as a reader--it absolves you of taking responsibility for your own interpretation of the work in question, it absolves you of responsibility for your own feelings (and, potentially, your own biases or preconceptions), it absolves you of actual, proper, thought and engagement by laying the blame entirely on a rogue piece of literature (as if prose is something sentient) instead of acknowledging that any instance of reading is a two-way street: instead of asking why do I feel this way? what has this text rubbed up against? the assumption is that the book has imposed these feelings on you, rather than potentially illuminated what was already there.
Which brings me to something else which is that it is also, and I think this is equally dangerous, lending books and stories a mythical, almost supernatural, power that they absolutely do not have. Is story-telling one of the most human, most enduring, most important and life-altering traditions we have? Yes. But a story is also just a story. And to convince yourself that books have a dangerous transformative power above and beyond what they are actually capable of is, again, to completely erase people's agency as readers, writers' agency as writers and makers (the same as any other craft), and subsequently your own. And erasing agency is the very point of censors banning books en masse. It's not an act of stupidity or blind ignorance, but a conscious awareness of the fact that people will disagree with you, and for whatever reason you've decided that you are not going to let them.
Writers and poets are not separate entities to the rest of us: they aren't shamans or prophets, gifted and chosen beings who have some inner, profound, knowledge the rest of us aren't privy to (and should therefore know better or be better in some regard) because moral absolutism just does not exist. Every writer, no matter how affecting their work may be, is still Just Some Guy Who Made a Thing. Writing can be an incredibly intimate act, but it can also just be writing, in the same way that plumbing is plumbing and weeding is just weeding and not necessarily some transcendant cosmic endeavour in and of itself. Authors are no different, when you get down to it, from bakers or electricians; Nobel laureates are just as capable of coming out with distasteful comments about women as your annoying cousin is and the fact that they wrote a genre-defying work does not change that, or vice-versa. We imbue books with so much power and as conduits of the very best and most human traits we can imagine and hope for, but they aren't representations of the best of humanity--they're simply expressions of humanity, which includes the things we don't like.
There are some authors I love who have said and done things I completely disagree with or whose views I find abhorrent--but I'm not expecting that, just because they created something that changed my world, they are above and beyond the ordinarly, the petty, the spiteful, or cruel. That's not condoning what they have said and done in the least: but I trust myself to be able to read these works with awareness and attention, to pick out and examine and attempt to understand the things that I find questionable, to hold on to what has moved me, and to disregard what I just don't vibe with or disagree with. There are writers I've chosen not to engage with, for my own personal reasons: but I'm not going to enforce this onto someone else because I can see what others would love in them, even if what I love is not strong enough to make up for what I can't. Terrance Hayes put perfectly in my view, when he talks about this and being capable of "love without forgiveness". Writing is a profoundly human heritage and those who engage with it aren't separate from that heritage as human because they live in, and are made by, the exact same world as anyone else.
The measure of good writing for me has hardly anything to do with whatever "virtue" it's perceived to have and everything to do with sincerity. As far as I'm concerned, "positive representation" is not about 100% likeable characters who never do anything problematic or who are easily understood. Positive representation is about being afforded the full scope of human feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and not having your humanity, your dignity, your right to exist in the world questioned because all of these can only be seen through the filter of race, or gender, religion, or ethicity and interpreted according to our (profoundly warped) perceptions of those categories and what they should or shouldn't represent. True recognition of someone's humanity does not lie in finding only what is held in common between you (and is therefore "acceptable", with whatever you put into that category), but in accepting everything that is radically different about them and not letting this colour the consideration you give.
Also, and it may sound harsh, but I think people forget that fictional characters are fictional. If I find a particularly fucked up relationship dynamic compelling (as I often do), or if I decide to write and explore that dynamic, that's not me saying two people who threaten to kill each other and constantly hurt each other is my ideal of romance and that this is exactly how I want to be treated: it's me trying to find out what is really happening below the surface when two people behave like this. It's me exploring something that would be traumatizing and deeply damaging in real life, in a safe and fictional setting so I can gain some kind of understanding about our darker and more destructive impulses without being literally destroyed by them, as would happen if all of this were real. But it isn't real. And this isn't a radical or complex thing to comprehend, but it becomes incomprehensible if your sole understanding of literature is that it exists to validate you or entertain you or cater to you, and if all of your interpretations of other people's intentions are laced with a persistent sense of bad faith. Just because you have not forged any identity outside of this fictional narrative doesn't mean it's the same for others.
Ursula K. le Guin made an extremely salient point about children and stories in that children know the stories you tell them--dragons, witches, ghouls, whatever--are not real, but they are true. And that sums it all up. There's a reason children learning to lie is an incredibly important developmental milestone, because it shows that they have achieved an incredibly complex, but vitally important, ability to hold two contradictory statements in their minds and still know which is true and which isn't. If you cannot delve into a work, on the terms it sets, as a fictional piece of literature, recognize its good points and note its bad points, assess what can have a real world impact or reflects a real world impact and what is just creative license, how do you possible expect to recognize when authority and propaganda lies to you? Because one thing propaganda has always utilised is a simplistic, black and white depiction of The Good (Us) and The Bad (Them). This moralistic stance regarding fiction does not make you more progressive or considerate; it simply makes it easier to manipulate your ideas and your feelings about those ideas because your assessments are entirely emotional and surface level and are fuelled by a refusal to engage with something beyond the knee-jerk reaction it causes you to have.
Books are profoundly, and I do mean profoundly, important to me-- and so much of who I am and the way I see things is probably down to the fact that stories have preoccupied me wherever I go. But I also don't see them as vital building blocks for some core facet or a pronouncement of Who I Am. They're not badges of honour or a cover letter I put out into the world for other people to judge and assess me by, and approve of me (and by extension, the things I say or feel). They're vehicles through which I explore and experience whatever it is that I'm most caught by: not a prophylactic, not a mode of virtue signalling, and certainly not a means of signalling a moral stance.
I think at the end of the day so much of this tendency to view books as an extension of yourself (and therefore of an author) is down to the whole notion of "art as a mirror", and I always come back to Fran Lebowitz saying that it "isn't a mirror, it's a door". And while I do think it's important to have that mirror (especially if you're part of a community that never sees itself represented, or represented poorly and offensively) I think some people have moved into the mindset of thinking that, in order for art to be good, it needs to be a mirror, it needs to cater to them and their experiences precisely--either that or that it can only exist as a mirror full stop, a reflection of and for the reader and the writer (which is just incredibly reductive and dismissive of both)--and if art can only exist as a mirror then anything negative that is reflected back at you must be a condemnation, not a call for exploration or an attempt at understanding.
As I said, a mirror is important but to insist on it above all else isn't always a positive thing: there are books I related to deeply because they allowed me to feel so seen (some by authors who looked nothing like me), but I have no interest in surrounding myself with those books all the time either--I know what goes on in my head which is precisely why I don't always want to live there. Being validated by a character who's "just like me" is amazing but I also want--I also need-- to know that lives and minds and events exist outside of the echo-chamber of my own mind. The mirror is comforting, yes, but if you spend too long with it, it also becomes isolating: you need doors because they lead you to ideas and views and characters you could never come up with on your own. A world made up of various Mes reflected back to me is not a world I want to be immersed in because it's a world with very little texture or discovery or room for growth and change. Your sense of self and your sense of other people cannot grow here; it just becomes mangled.
Art has always been about dialogue, always about a me and a you, a speaker and a listener, even when it is happening in the most internal of spaces: to insist that art only ever tells you what you want to hear, that it should only reflect what you know and accept is to undermine the very core of what it seeks to do in the first place, which is establish connection. Art is a lifeline, I'm not saying it isn't. But it's also not an instruction manual for how to behave in the world--it's an exploration of what being in the world looks like at all, and this is different for everyone. And you are treading into some very, very dangerous waters the moment you insist it must be otherwise.
Whatever it means to be in the world, it is anything but straightforward. In this world people cheat, people kill, they manipulate, they lie, they torture and steal--why? Sometimes we know why, but more often we don't--but we take all these questions and write (or read) our way through them hoping that, if we don't find an answer, we can at least find our way to a place where not knowing isn't as unbearable anymore (and sometimes it's not even about that; it's just about telling a story and wanting to make people laugh). It's an endless heritage of seeking with countless variations on the same statements which say over and over again I don't know what to make of this story, even as I tell it to you. So why am I telling it? Do I want to change it? Can I change it? Yes. No. Maybe. I have no certainty in any of this except that I can say it. All I can do is say it.
Writing, and art in general, are one of the very, very, few ways we can try and make sense of the apparently arbitrary chaos and absurdity of our lives--it's one of the only ways left to us by which we can impose some sense of structure or meaning, even if those things exists in the midst of forces that will constantly overwhelm those structures, and us. I write a poem to try and make sense of something (grief, love, a question about octopuses) or to just set down that I've experienced something (grief, love, an answer about octpuses). You write a poem to make sense of, resolve, register, or celebrate something else. They don't have to align. They don't have to agree. We don't even need to like each other much. But in both of these instances something is being said, some fragment of the world as its been perceived or experienced is being shared. They're separate truths that can exist at the same time. Acknowledging this is the only means we have of momentarily bridging the gaps that will always exist between ourselves and others, and it requires a profound amount of grace, consideration and forbearance. Otherwise, why are we bothering at all?
#this is so much longer than i intended but yeah. those are my very long 2 cents#tbh i also think social media makes it worse in a way especially bc “transparency” has become a form of public vetting which is insane to m#me* transparency and honesty are not the same thing ans its ludicrous that this is where we're at and while we all have to live with this#demand for transparency i do think it affects writers differently bc the whole art as mirror thing comes to the fore in this argument#why would you sit with your feelings about a book when its easier and more accessible for you to @ the authors twitter handle#but anyway#ask#anonymous#book talks
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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Temenos: Throné, would you be a dear and make sure I'm not horribly murdered while I think for a moment?
#octopath traveler 2#temenos mistral#octopath temenos#octopath throne#throne anguis#their friendship is everything to me#loresrush#yes i know rise again is for incapacitaion but come on with a name like “rise again”?#also speaking as someone with a memory palace temenos does not have a memory palace#theres gotta be an easier way to do this than cutting out pieces of the art book#cw sui mention
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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i kind of more and more am tempted to make a dragon age server with a focus on ocs because i really want a space to like. worlbuild and chat with people about ocs and consider their interactions but bc i dont know a Whole lot of da people anymore i am wary considering the drama and discourse that can occur here is. its a lot. and i am not in the mental place to mod a server where a bunch of active insane discourse shit is occurring.
but idk if any followers/mutuals would be game for a server like that lmk i could be convinced. maybe itll only be like 5 people and it wont matter. maybe it gets slightly bigger and i just have someone else help me mod
#daze.txt#dazen talks dragon age#i like my rooks and inkys and wardens n stuff but i rly like#1. i often rly like to make ocs that exist in the wider world rather than latch onto a pc.#bc then 2. i can mix and match and have ocs hang out in ways that could be canon to whoevers worldstate and i think thats fun!!#3. i really like to hear about other people ocs and its easier for me to absorb that info if ppl r all like#talking abt them in one place#i love to influence the trajectory of other peoples characters narratives and i love when they alter mine#aghhh. ocs
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working on something
#“what should I do next” and it's like three months before I even touch the idea again#anyway nervous's basement#i might move some stuff around because for some reason#11pm me thought it would be a good idea to have the most furniture heavy wall closest to the camera#the brick pattern was way easier than usual#I definitely wanna make his room more cluttered but I might have to switch the angle#so you actually see everything 💀#sims 2#sims 2 premades#nervous subject#wip
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#what really pisses me off though about gallery not paying for months on end though isn't even the not having money in the moment#but the fact that since they're legally required to twice a month they just date the stubs forward to still be in accordance#but that means that even though by annual average i am far within income range to apply for SNAP benefits etc#i can't show them most recent paystubs bc it ends up looking like I'm making way more since months of hrs get put in 2 week periods instead#so now I'm not getting paid promptly AND can't get the assistance i need to deal with it#so fucking tired of it honestly i think once i settle into new job im just going back to volunteer basis with them#it's easier than dealing with this contrived mess
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i finished veilguard, my life has no meaning, also what yhe FUCK was that post credit scene, im afraid. and i cant wait for the next one tbh. i hope my rook gets to be a lil well remembered hero who stays ready as the veilguard but has decided to protect thedas from demons and twisted spirits using their expertise as a mourn watcher and my likely connection to the fade, ya boy would spend time learning ancient elvhen funeral practices from bellara and how they effect the fade too.
i just want my boy to have some peace with his husband, go on ...safer adventures...cause his heart nearly gave out a few times and itll take a while to put it back together again. hes always going to be looking for harding and honouring her too, i want to think she was the one he went to when he had panic attacks. i think hed be searching spirits and the fade, and hed go visit hardings mom (would probably cry more than she does too especially if she looks like lace). hed have tea with mahanon and visit the griffins, and the caretaker a lot, but when its all over and everything is mosty recovered and he visits vorgoth and myrna he gets a lecture from myrna and a begrudgingly relieved hug, and vorgoth doesnt really say much but takes him aside and pats his head like when he was child and would hide from his lessons because they made him feel dumb.
i love dragon age, i never want the series to end, i need to revisit inquisition again
#ive seen people speculate about what vorgoth is and those things kinda looked like them??#BUT UH.#PLS DONT INTRODUCE MORE GODS OR GODLIKE BEINGS#the next game is going to be so interesting if they take into account the choices made in this game with the archive#and how solas's story ended#and also the fucking CALLING.#im sorry but plot wise thats ones of the few complaints i have#they said it changed but that didnt seem to impact anything#and it wouldnt! but if it changed bevause of the gods....but might recede with solas paying penance?#what does that mean for thedas and the way the blight ebolved#and the calling#was that a ghilan'nain thing or was it soemthing else....since clearly we know now its not necessarily a death sentence#did the gods design the concept of the calling to fuel more darkspawn creation or was it soemthing that just...happened?#i did love this game a lot but i think it would have been better if it had been a tiny but more like inquisition#for the hideout at least and getting to talk to companions and learn more about them a bit#some of the game felt a little incomplete and not quite as..filled out as it could have been maybe#i think the final act should have been a bit different with the gods or at least elgar'nan#but idk it felt.....so much more depressing than da usually is in a lot of ways and id have prefered to have to make other choices#and not like...choosing what my companions lived turn out to me???#i love emmerich but i shouldnt have had to choose between lich and manfred that wasnt fair#i prefer the politics of dai and the justice of da2#i still think origins was ass but it was fine for setting up such a good series#i just wish veilgaurd hadnt been so depressing at times and maybe it hits me harder because im an elf in every game but#if it had been less depressing i think my nick picky feelings about it would be easier to tolerate#2 was still the best but dai was my favourite too#i did really love how much being trans could be talked about for my rook tho!!! and taashs story was amazing!!!!!#and i want to see more of that!!!#but i wish the background non plot stuff had been as rounded out as dai#but this was the perfect amount of sidequests imo#dai had too many and the story was too short
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me vs over sharing
#my partner n i had a fight like 3 days ago bc they want to move out at the end of this month and i said it wouldn’t be the best time#bc my mum is having back surgery and my sister is taking the 6 & 7 year old to make it a bit easier for her#and i said i’d want to be here to help her with six damn fucking kids and they got mad at me for letting them hold us back#GIRL I HATE THIS FUCKING HOUSE I DONT WANNA BE HERE EITHER i hate the mess i’m so fucking tired of it like every space feels so overwhelming#and j can’t do anything ab it bc i fucking clean and it’s there again in a day#and my mum has the surgery the same day we have our house inspection here and it’s just A LOT AT OBCE AND THE MF WANTED TO ADD FUCKING GETTI#A HOME OOAN ON TOP OF THAY????????? be so fucking real bro anyway we argued for literally like 2 hours ab this and i’m still kinda mad ab it#but i’m gonna be Relaxed#bc like pisses me off that they think i want to be here#i’m treated like a second mother to these kids which is like fine whayever bc we live here rent free and i want to pay back in some way#but like k don’t fucking want kids i don’t want to parent i don’t want to fucking wake up in the middle of the night for milk i don’t want#to deal with tantrums like u rlly think I WANT TO BE HERE LONGER THAN ENCESSARU BRO#anyway sorry#tw: vent#「mercury speaks」
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I tried to play Drakengard 3 again but man this game just kinda pisses me off. The humour is SO not my thing. I'll give it more of a shot before I resign myself to youtube. I can easily overlook bland gameplay, I love D1 to death. I just really don't like the direction the series went in and it makes me sad.
#the gag censoring in the Five death scene?#god I could NOT roll my eyes more#you can really see the progression into automata and while i appreciate a lot about automata#cute anime girls is a really hard wall for me#i guess this is an exercise in open mindedness for me#finishing Drakengard 2 was way easier than finishing D3 chapter 1
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