#but it’s probably for the better safety of other people
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Life w/ Mr Crawling!
A QUICK WARNING BEFORE YOU READ: This is following after the Blissful Love Life ending, if you don’t want spoilers I suggest scrolling! — Anyways moving on from that, I FINALLY got the fucking motivation to put something out after how many months, (yay!) Starting off with my new horror game fixation :)))) Finally got my brain juices going, and I thank Homicipher for this. This is probably going to be me posting abt it for a while. BUT it gave me the motivation to write stuff at least. If you also noticed I changed the formatting a little with my hcs and I think I like it better this way w/o the bulleted list, so Imma def keep this.
⭑.ᐟ — Ever since you’ve escaped the other world with Mr. Crawling, you had some small difficulties in getting back in the swing of things. You no longer had to worry about your safety, check over the shoulders for any monsters, you had your normal life back now.
⭑.ᐟ — And this time you had Mr Crawling to share it with! :D
⭑.ᐟ — When you first brought Mr Crawling home with you, man was absolutely ecstatic and he immediately went exploring around the house while you fixed him some food to eat.
⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling really liked your place, it felt cozy and warm, it had you too of course, and it was so much more welcoming and nicer in appearance compared to his world. Plus there was a lot of new stuff he hasn’t seen before.
⭑.ᐟ — It was a nice change not having the house to yourself anymore, Mr Crawling made the place a little more lively with his presence, following you around the house like a lost puppy, occasionally asking a few questions.
⭑.ᐟ — You showed him many things, movies, books, and lots of other things. He even had his first shower too!
⭑.ᐟ — You even tried teaching him basic words in your language such as “hello”, “goodbye”, “thank you”, or “please”. While Mr Crawling was having a hard time getting a gist of them, he still tried his best. <3
⭑.ᐟ — With your old life back it also meant you had to pick up your job/college again too.
⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling was never fond when you left the house for this long, so he mostly sat around at the front door waiting for your return.
⭑.ᐟ — Then upon your arrival it’s extra cuddles tonight to make up for loss time. He’s sad that you left him alone for this long :((
⭑.ᐟ — On the bright side however he likes going on grocery runs with you! Since nobody else could see him, it wouldn’t bring any unwanted attention. Of course with Mr Crawling’s babbling as he followed you into the aisles, you brought headphones/airpods with you so people didn’t think you were insane for talking to yourself.
⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling in general is very happy you let him tag along with you leaving his world, he couldn’t be any happier getting to stay by your side. And his love for you grew as well! :)
⭑.ᐟ — The first time he tried saying something in your language was “I love you” to show his gratitude. Though it sounded a bit butchered for a first attempt, the sentiment still meant a lot to you and it was a step towards somewhere to say the least.
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Lucien was ALSO a Victim in MaF
I was reminiscing about why I hate Mist and Fury the most out of the 5 ACOTAR books and I remembered chapter 47.
Lucien finds Feyre in the night court mountains. After tracking her for months. Lucien is desperately trying to talk to his “kidnapped” friend who he thinks is possibly brainwashed or being mentally controlled by Rhys a known Daemati.
When Feyre left spring court she left Lucien alone to deal with a paranoid Tamlin who is now an angry paranoid Tamlin, and the emotionally manipulative Ianthe who is whispering in Tamlin’s ear while also trying to molest Lucien any chance she can. In ACOTAR Lucien got to know how capable Feyre is, not only in battle but in holding her ground against people she doesn’t agree with. He would watched her stare down Tamlin and get him to bend to her whims. Was she badly affected by her trauma from UTM yes, did Lucien try his best to advocate for her needs to Tamlin he did. But when Feyre left he was left alone to carry the burden of Tamlin and Ianthe. Was Feyre at all mentally stable at the time she left spring, no, but she was there. She would get bursts of anger and stubbornness at times with Tamlin and confront him. And that was reassuring to Lucien. That probably had him know the spitfire is not gone. If she stayed I would not be surprised if Lucien was the one to help her heal mentally and would help Feyre out of the dark abyss that her trauma put her in.
But she didn’t stay and that ok, because she did get better in a way that worked for her, that’s not my problem. My problem is how she treated Lucien that entire chapter. How the narrative was changed to make his actions look like he was an enabler of an abuser. Which is 100% not true and the words of the book prove it. And well when she left no one was helping Lucien either. Because he now had to navigate both Tamlin’s rage and anger and Ianthes manipulations and hands. He worked his ass off on looking for a way to break a bargain. He did everything he could to stop Tamlin from talking to Hybern. Which Tamlin only looked to Hybern because Ianthe was whispering in his ear.
Can you imagine Lucien being in a day court library and hasn’t slept in 24hours and then he suddenly gets an urgent letter from Bron telling him he needs to get back to spring, so he gets back to spring using all his winnowing magic he has to see Tamlin looking over his coastline maps to see the best meeting point with Hybern. His hair all disarrayed from zero sleep and his shirts untucked and he has to lean into Tamlin’s eye sight to get him to listen to his frantic pleas not to work with Hybern. All while Ianthe is on Tamlin’s other side defending Tamlin’s decision. Ugh it’s like being a nail in a hard place.
He needs his friend back. He needs Feyre back. Not to distract Tamlin or to seduce him back to happiness. But because she is the only one who can stand toe to toe with Tamlin and get him to back away. Lucien can’t. Not because he doesn’t try but because there is some submission Lucien naturally has to Tamlin. And Lucien has argued even at risk to his safety with Tamlin and Tamlin unleashed a power that shook the house with Lucien in that powers pathway. It’s 2 against 1 in the house right now and Lucien can only stave off bad decisions for so long.
He was pleading with Feyre on the mountain. His exact words were “you don’t understand the mess we are in. We…I need you home. Now.” So he knows working with Hybern is on the table. He watched his best friend murder spring court soldiers in a rage because of Feyre being “kidnapped”. And he knows Calanmai is coming up in 2-3 days (I think is the timeline) which Tamlin is refusing to perform his duty (understandably). But that means it falls on Lucien and Lucien knows Ianthe is going to manipulate the maiden part of the ceremony to ensure he picks her. He knows he is going home to be sexual assaulted. He wants his friend to come home and help him put things back in order.
Granted is that Feyre’s duty no, but he is desperate to have help in spring. And at this time he thinks she is a victim of a kidnapping and of Rhys’ Daemati powers.
Shortly after he leaves is when he agrees with Tamlin in talking with Hybern and personally I think he was so down trotted and worn down that he just stop fighting Tamlin on it. Plus he performed Calanmai, the Magic chose Ianthe, he had to sleep with a woman who refuses to accept boundaries. He was sexually assaulted and feeling sick and upset and depressed and Ianthe probably had Tamlin go and ask Lucien if they can look towards Hybern now because Lucien is not in any good mental space to put up an objection. Ianthe wore Lucien down till he just had no more energy to stop Tamlin. He was exhausted mentally, and physically, and emotionally and that all worked in Ianthe’s favor and Lucien is still paying the guilty price for it. And sadly when you think about it, all he wanted was his friend back. And if Feyre or Rhys were just a tad bit smarter maybe they would have looked into his mind to see exactly why he needed Feyre home. But of course Rhys made it out like being in Lucien’s mind is a torture no one should ever be subjected to. Because god help us if you actually used your powers in a useful manner.
#lucien vanserra#pro lucien vanserra#feyre archeron#rhysand#rhys acotar#acotar#acomaf#ianthe acotar#Lucien was a victim too
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please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.
>everyone lived happily ever after
>a few weeks pass
>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer
>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment
>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me
>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.
>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her
>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her
>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something
>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"
>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned
how did she find my blog?
I assume it went like this:
>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos
>"Zander" Spotted
>runs to LC
>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"
>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"
>no here's proof!
>autism ensues
>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog
>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore
>"she's a tif"
>"no"
> yes"
>"no"
>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]
>"tell us more!"
>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."
meanwhile:
>assume she's probably back on her LC shit
>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life
>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"
>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."
>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women
to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)
meanwhile, on LC:
>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."
>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."
[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]
>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."
>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."
>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."
>"what does she have to gain from lying?"
>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."
meanwhile:
>call gf
>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."
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Emptiness of Dreams
Dear god okay there's like a billion bitches in here. No one talks and it's YS POV but there's. A billion
I don't know how to explain this any clearer. Read between the lines. This will make sense for the people that need to I promise. Just things I want to say but can't say directly.
BFs in this one-shot: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine), cs!BF (Beefer, mine), wyd!BF (Beef, Karl's), fc!BF (Boyf, Gold's), Cyborg!BF (Cyber, Gold's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), S2!BF (Bee, Isaac's), ourple!BF (Brooke, Isaac/VS Ourple Guy), idu!BF (BJ, Storm's), mixtape!BF (Bash, Kry's), fightin!BF (Mic, Lunar's), lca!BF (Bunny, Damien's), Yourself (YS)
Blue, Bastion, Baker, and Blake are mentioned but not physically present
He knew he had a problem. Well, that was quite the understatement really. He had a lot of problems. So many to the point where YS really couldn’t understand why any of them were still here. Broken people attracted more broken people, sure. Fine. But even other broken people still had enough logic to understand when someone was too broken, right? When there were things beyond anyone’s help. Tiring aspects that were just too much to keep thinking about. It was easy for others to stop thinking about it when it wasn’t them experiencing it. YS couldn’t stop thinking. Probably never would. Every time something slipped a little bit under the surface of the water he drowned so fast. And it was so shameful that everyone got to witness it. Felt inclined to help when really, at this point, maybe it was just better to let him drown proper.
The space in between dreams was usually empty. The more people tumbling into the space meant more things would pop up, stemming from the day’s thoughts and wishes. It was always nothing but empty whenever YS was here on his own. Nothing but cold fog. Nothing friendly, nothing warm, nothing all that safe. What did that say about his thoughts and wishes, huh?
But the usual emptiness of dreams wasn’t here this time. Not that this wasn’t meant to happen, it just hadn’t happened when YS was around. Mainly because he never really slept at the same time as anyone else aside from… an exception. He’d been going on for a few days without any real, proper sleep, and while he was an Angel, a supernatural being, there was still only so much he could take before his body completely crashed on him. Which was what happened here and now, a lucky outcome that it happened to be at a time where he should’ve been asleep anyway.
So many of his brothers were here. Half of them he suspected didn’t even realize where they were. And with so many selves came a blooming of the space in between dreams. Things, thoughts, safeties and wishes. Taking form as soft wisps of smoke, alien-like grass and flowers, lavender light coming from no visible source at all. The space here never had to make any sense to begin with. It was all just dreams, mashed together in a magic link across realities that wasn’t really supposed to exist. But it did. Might as well make something out of it.
Biff, of course. Biff was almost always here when YS was, and probably the most aware of what this place even was. Not like anyone truly knew its rules. But the longer you visit, the more you get in-tune with how some things work. YS knew some of his brothers had felt him arrive here and changed their paths entirely to cross with his. The others most likely didn’t know what was really happening and were just automatically drawn to a sense of familiarity. All leading back to him. What a nice thought.
Beef and Biff were wordlessly fighting with each other for who got the space in his arms. Idiots. No damn concept of sharing. If they wanted hugs all they ever had to do was ask. They would wake themselves up with this ridiculous tussle if they weren’t careful, but YS could see the playfulness of it in each of their faces. Silent brotherly fighting. Little bastards who cared a lot about each other but refused to admit it.
Boyf and Cyber were here too. Boyf had a secured spot on his left while Cyber lay sprawled rather unceremoniously across his legs. Something akin to the indignancy pile that YS had endured back when his reach only yielded him five brothers. Now, it was so much more. He wasn’t sure if Cyber really knew where he was, but it didn’t seem to matter. There were quiet purrs coming from him anyway. If YS was there, then nothing else mattered. A bit of a terrifying thought for YS- god, when would his brain just pick one? A constant tug-of-war between reveling in the fact he was that much of a safety to someone, and fearing being so damn important.
YS wasn’t really sure where he stood with a lot of his brothers. Which was so… stupid, wasn’t it? Why didn’t he know? They all had expressed some form of deep care for him thus far, from directly saying it to just small but meaningful actions. Choosing to let him stick around in their lives. A stray passing thought. Not looking at him like he was some sort of disgusting freak. Maybe that last one was the bare minimum but it didn’t matter to him. That was still the world in his eyes after everything.
Bash was behind him, asleep. Balancing him while they leaned back to back against each other. Now, YS loved all his brothers. That was true and it would stay true. And it was painfully obvious that he trusted some of them with different things. Was that shitty of him? Maybe. Certainly felt that way to him when he wanted everyone to feel equally important. But there were so many of them now. That wish might be an impossible task now. But maybe YS would burn himself out still trying to reach it. He never wanted to leave anyone on a metaphorical level of less importance somehow.
To his brothers, he felt love and that was clear. And he should stop worrying so much about the differences in each relationship. They were all the same person but they weren’t carbon copies of each other. It would be stupid to try to condense them all down to that. And where other brothers filled holes he desperately needed fixed, Bash sort of… balanced him. He shared similarities with many of them. There was something about his one older brother that was special. YS just wasn’t sure how to convey that. Or really… fairly approach Bash like he deserved for that matter. But for now in between dreams the connection helped dampen his worries. He hoped he could believe he mattered the way he was told he does soon with him.
Peacock was on YS’s right. He was dozing too, but even in that state YS could feel an insistence to stay as close as possible. Two angels taking comfort in each other. It was funny, being a Guardian Angel and having another angel seemingly be guarding him. Beefer was somewhere nearby too. In his dinosaur form, for some reason, but maybe it was because he had no idea what this place was. Walking around. Guarding. Not just him, but everyone here. Even Boyf, despite them never getting along. Truce in the dream space. BJ kept an eye on the dinosaur lumbering around in circles. He seemed very curious about the other versions that obviously weren’t human. That, and well, it didn’t seem like any of them had seen a living dinosaur before who’s also an alien at the same time. Despite the curiosity BJ kept close to YS as much as he could, when everyone else was already crowding him.
Bee and Brooke were here as well. Lying content in the alien-like grass of the dream plains they were all sitting in together. Brooke didn’t seem very content though. Worried, hesitant. YS hadn’t gotten to talk to him a lot, and the first encounter had gone just about as wrong as it possibly could. YS didn’t think Brooke liked him at all. He’d probably prefer to be somewhere else, and that was fair. He was going through a lot as far as the angel could tell. But despite the dislike he was sticking around. Not for his peace of mind, obviously. Probably just because Bash, Bee, and Beef were clearly happy to stay here. It was enough to let Brooke take a hesitant chance.
Mic and Bunny were very new to YS, but they had made it here too. Playing chase for the sake of playing. Joy in a space they didn’t know, but it was okay, nothing could really hurt them here except their own fears. But it was clear no one truly feared where they were. It was funny, Mic was very much a little brother to YS despite him being five years older than him. Somehow.
Yeah, no. Bash was the only one who was getting away with any semblance of taking care of YS in an older-brother kind of way. And even then YS felt some sort of guilt he was letting anyone be responsible for him.
It was weird. All of them kind of took care of him in their own ways. Just something unique and different about each one. Balance with Bash. Loyalty with Beef. Understanding with Biff. Warmth with Peacock. The list could go on, really. Though in the end they all seemingly wanted him here. Here, amongst people. Wasn’t that weird? Why did they want him here, anyway? YS still couldn’t find an understanding of that. ‘Because they wanted to’? Why? Why choose that with no real benefit?
People were so confusing.
Most of them managed to end up here tonight. That’s never really happened before. YS wondered what was different about this night. Wondered if the ones missing were awake, or just in their own dreams instead of the space in between. Blake, Blue, Baker. Good lord, if Baker was awake he swore to god he better not be creating a kitchen disaster right now. YS wondered how long it would take to get properly through to Bastion as well. Everyone, always on his mind. So many to keep track of, sometimes it made his head spin. But he’d still find room to fit in more. He had a feeling he was going to meet more brothers in the near future anyway.
People, here. With him. For him, some of them might try to say. That couldn’t be true. People shouldn’t be here for him, not when everyone else was around. Felt weird to think he was some sort of priority. But he supposed he was a massive hypocrite too. Prioritizing everyone else as much as he could, trying his hardest to treat everyone equally, make them feel special because they were. But then flinched away if anyone tried to mirror his actions.
How dumb. YS wanted someone to do for him everything he did for others, but couldn’t even be thankful to accept that if someone tried. Nothing was ever good enough, huh? Ridiculous…
Beefer turned suddenly, red eyes boring directly into the angel. Knowing. Right… emotional walls didn’t work on that one. He could tell right away. He’d made a promise to try and think like that less. He was trying. It was just harder on some days than others.
People… here. Could he indulge in saying for him? Did he deserve that, though? Unsure on that part. Whether he said it or not wouldn’t change if it was true or not. A concept there, to sit in the back of his mind, surrounded by all these people. Did he have to keep himself so lonely? YS was so afraid to somehow hurt anyone here, everyone. But would keeping himself lonely make them happy? That might just hurt them too.
He knew one of them was terrified of him leaving. Just from one old conversation. That never really left his head. But there was still a little guilt there, making him even worry so clearly about that. YS was doing his best to keep to his word- that he wouldn’t leave. Even though things kept sliding downhill so fast some days.
Maybe none of them wanted him to leave. It’s not like he wanted to leave either. Sometimes his mind was cruel, though. It was hard to tell properly if anyone cared enough for him to stay some days. Like all the progress went back to zero. Wasn’t that so exhausting? To deal with someone who needed reassurance so often?
YS wouldn’t leave. For as long as they wanted him at all, he would stay.
He had a lot of problems. Maybe he himself was a problem and it might be time to admit that. Needing so much direct reassurance almost every day. That was a problem. And he should try harder to stop doing that because he clearly wasn’t trying hard enough. He would change completely for them, because he loved them.
Maybe that was another problem.
He was just a problem, wasn’t he?
But all of these brothers were here. Loving him. Him and his problems. And YS swore to spend the rest of his time here making up for it all. However short or long that time was allowed to be.
He loved his brothers. Maybe he shouldn’t love them this much when not much time has really passed. But he did anyway. YS loved his brothers. Maybe in another reality entirely, they were all friends. A reality YS could never find, but existed anyway. He hoped so.
Friends… he hoped so.
#RGBFverse#Uhhhh working to make up for a lot of things I've been doing lately#I can't offer much lmaooooo writing it is. I guess#I think there was more I wanted to write diving more in depth about the individuals but#It got lost in my head spinning over keeping track of so many characters my bad
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HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY
Reminder to some people who may need to be reminded to keep their guard up today! DONT TAKE EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY TODAY. PEOPLE ARE JOKING.
If you’re concerned that falling for one of these joke might affect your mental health, it’s completely fine to just lay off the internet for a day. Have some alone time away from any pranksters you know even. It’s okay.
Also, I’m not saying that the people making these jokes are bad for doing so. It’s fine to joke around once in a while, just make sure people don’t get hurt from it.
Take care out there! <3
#seriously#be careful out there!#from now on if I ever make jokes on April fools I’m going to post some reminders during the day leading up to it#you can say it spoils the fun of thinking it’s real#but it’s probably for the better safety of other people
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A sentence I never imagined I’d write: I now think Jeremy Corbyn did Jews in Britain a favour. His time as Labour leader, between 2015 and 2020, was an extremely weird one for British Jews, but eye-opening all the same: I now think it prepared many of us for the Left’s reaction to October 7, whereas American Jews seemed far more surprised. The gaslighting (the attack didn’t happen), the defences (if it did, Jews deserved it), the hectoring moral superiority (how can you care about that when this is so much more important?): all that we saw after October 7, we had seen under Corbyn.
Now is not the place to rehash the many examples of Corbyn’s jaw-dropping attitudes towards Jews, never mind Israel, ideas some of us naively thought had died out with Stalin. Those are specific to Corbyn, whose political relevance is now, thankfully, in the past. But two general truths emerged from that era that would prove extremely relevant after October 7.
The first was how little people across the Left cared when Jews pointed out the obvious antisemitism they saw in the Labour Party. In 2018, 86% of British Jews said they believed Corbyn was antisemitic; and still the Left supported him, and still The Guardian backed him in the 2019 general election. Would they — good Lefties one and all — have done this if the vast majority of another minority said they believed Corbyn was bigoted against them? Would the Left have supported an Islamophobic leader in 2018? A homophobic one? A racist one? It’s hard to imagine. “What are Jews so scared of? It’s not like Corbyn’s going to bring back pogroms,” a prominent figure on the Left asked me. I briefly amused myself by imagining a response: “Why are black people so against the Tories? It’s not like they’ll bring back lynching.” But I stayed schtum. The Left doesn’t care about antisemitism if they deem it inconvenient to their cause. They just call it “anti-Zionism” and carry on, and that was — it turned out — a good lesson to learn.
Hadley Freeman, an excerpt from her essay Blindness: October 7 and the Left, published by Jewish Quarterly
#I've felt this way frequently since 7/10: the 2015-20 period prepared me for it#and by last year I'd long cut off all my no-longer-trusted friends#7/10 was worse but - on a purely personal level - it would have been more painful to go through the shock of betrayal then#rather than earlier#in a way it's been vindicating to see so many other people (jews and non jews) become aware of leftist antisemitism#I feel less alone in that respect#but I'd rather we could all take safety and dignity for granted#I still think britain is a relatively good place to be jewish but - compared to what? who can I rely on? how do I protect jewish pensioners#the govt isn't going to incite antisemitism but what will/can it do to combat it#(the constant tension between 'I don't want to be alarmist' vs 'I don't want to be complacent')#also. I think there is a very good chance the left doesn't care about *anything* that's inconvenient to their cause#if they'll throw me under the bus they'd probably throw you under it as well#and I continue to care about that because I am in fact better than them
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omg guys proshipper isn't "basic dni criteria", like that list is supposed to represent actual irl issues(*), not some 2020 internet discourse. you guys are so annoying like if you're uncomfortable interacting with proshippers i understand and respect it, although you probably have a very twisted idea of what the word means (would make a separate post abt it but there are hundreds already). but please don't equate it to actual crimes. (*)also do you seriously think that a bigot troll is going to read your dni and be magically expelled from your strong aura. if anything it's going to make them want to harass you more. it's obvious that those lists are just a pose like "if i don't put racists dni they're gonna think i'm racist" NO aaagh you don't have to over-specify(?) everything about you when interacting online can we please go back to being normal istg. reject modernity embrace not writing a dni list and just blocking people like a normal person <3
#tsun.txt#also ppl who write all their triggers and traumas are you fr that too is going to make it easier for trolls to harass you#children need to learn basic internet safety etc etc#i needed to vent bc i've been on toyhouse and i'm SO tired of everyone using the “warning” tab for fucking dni's#come and block me yourself bitch. the warning is supposed to be info about what could trigger ME.#BRO i just remembered once i was looking at the artists that were going to attend a con and one of them had fucking proship dni in their bi#like IMAGINE limiting your sales bc you care about what other people like to read?? i'm going to put fucking. idk. team kira dni.#also i sometimes go to cons as an artist too. imagine if i got placed next to that person#what do they want me to do? them: “hey can you move your chair a little” me: ignoring them bc i read their dni#it's INSANE#not @ me being paranoid abt ppl cancelling me for this post despite having like +300 blocked accounts#but i'm coming out (?) as a non-harasser. like i don't even use the word profiction. i'd rather call myself normal.#i sound like those people who're like my pronouns are nor/mal but FR this used to be the norm in fandoms *sob*#also ppl online are limiting their interactions for not wanting me to reblog their art but okay#in MY case i'm hella limiting my interactions for not wanting to be harassed. we're not the same.#i be like why does this have so few notes *has half the fandom blocked*#and ppl probably wouldn't even notice bc most of what i post is wholesome but then i write textposts like this. better safe than sorry#discourse
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hello beautifuls, i got a job offer last week in [redacted] and i’m so grateful and excited to be… making money again! and to finally have my own place and fix it up to my taste and get 2 cats 🥹 there’s a job in [redacted] w the same exact salary range and i’m really hoping i get it bc it’s a much more desirable hot girl walkable city. my final interview for that job is next wednesday send hot girl city job offer vibes my way pls
#either way i’m so excited to be getting out of texas. i have a love hate relationship w my city bc it’s 90% mexican and frankly moving#either cities means i will mostly be surrounded by white people and i’m not even trying to be funny when i say that scares me a lil#i remember the first time my big sis and i visited new jersey and when we were walking around the town i looked at her and went ‘i’ve never#seen this many white people in my life’ and her eyes got big and she said ‘i was thinking the exact same thing’. like there’s safety and#security in being constantly surrounded by other mexicans/latinos but alas. it’s time to get out of the comfort zone and make some schmonie#the salary is very good i think but then again i probably don’t feel as impressed or wowed as i should bc i think i deserve 1 million#dollars an hour. and i don’t have imposter syndrome in fact i have i deserve it syndrome. i worked hard for everything i’ve earned so far#and im an amazing operations manager so yeah pay up bozo better yet? offer me more money :~] i actually did try negotiating the salary and#they were like well no. but we still want to extend the original offer LMAO i was like ok. i deserve it but ok#then i got a second job offer like the day after but they were offering $15k less and i was like hmm maybe this current job offer is pretty#good overall. so i denied it obviously and accepted the other one but i’m still holding out on the hot girl city job offer.#ill tell yall the cities once everything i said and done. send hot girl city vibes my way pls xoxooxo#thank you loves you all. walkable city here i come (i hope)!#mine
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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public transit... *collapses to the floor*
#rich ppl have a disdain for it and it's so nonexistent in white suburbia but then you go to where rich people vacation.#public transit is so good at where they have vacation. free shuttles every 10 20 minutes. free! free!!!#I'm struggling to put the words together to make myself sound coherent but ultimately it's hypocrisy of the upper class#it's probably a bigger issue than just that really. obviously policy is not entirely dictated by individual and idk#it's just rahhh i wish public transit was like that everywhere! buses to go around towns! subways connecting towns! and cheap!! free even!!#there's also the issue of the loss of public spaces and loss of the concept of public in general#the other day there were kids screaming obscene stuff on the train for a whole 30 minutes. ppl were annoyed and everything#but one person's defense of their behavior on the train was dude you're taking public transit. and idk why that's. idk.#is a respectful peaceful transit also now a privilege only the rich can enjoy? only if you can afford a car and parking in the city?#the argument is that precisely because it's a public space that we all benefit from we have the duty to respect and protect it#because if the public space is uninhabitable then that's when inequality grows very apparent#you have to maintain it for the sake of everyone but especially those who might not want to or can't access the private#these kids themselves can't drive a car. if the public transit was hostile to them what other choice do they have for commute?#it's a failure of our society and education that we don't understand how important it is to protect the public spaces#by ridding of the public it's a fuck you to the children the elderly the poor the disabled or anyone caught in an unfortunate circumstance#twist your ankle accidentally? sucks for you. there are no benches here. to sit you must go buy a drink at a cafe.#car broke down? too bad. take an expensive uber to work because the public transit is broken down#having good public facilities is a safety net against drastic inequality and even then we don't have it done well enough#but societal issues take time to fix and I'd like to hope it's going in a better direction
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hey can you post this for the "WhatsApp group asking" anon? The one asking for a gf to cook cuddle n do cute stuff with...
Hi
I'm more that a non-binary tho... might give me a chance? I'm single n want those stuff too so if you want to... y'know... being spoiled with love n treated like you're a princess... cuddle n do cute stuff all day... then please consider giving me a chance
Actually, it's up to all the single sapphlings around
Please someone date me (yearning hard today, I know)
-💫
You’re very sweet and as always I’m rooting for you and hope you get to meet someone soon :)
However, I’m really really sorry but as a general PSA for everyone I would really prefer if people didn’t do this here. I probably sound like your like 90 year old aunt or something but I get really extra paranoid about internet safety and the idea of sending a bunch of completely anonymous people someone else’s way in that capacity kind of freaks me out. The only reason I was willing to post this ask at all was because it was still on anon honestly. There’s nothing wrong with meeting people online but I do think a certain level of caution should be used and idk sending a bunch of random people to another random person’s blog to all ask to date them feels Not Great to me.
Again I’m really really sorry and yall are all very sweet and I’m obviously not like upset or anything and maybe it’s a weird boundary for me to have but I am going to stick to it, I’m still fine with 90% of asks just not ones where I would potentially be sending a bunch of strangers someone else’s way in that sort of capacity😓
#asks#im sorry#i really don’t want you to feel bad about this or anything#my blog is like the opposite of a dating service#it’s like the singles rest area where we all go to complain and take a nap#no action here❌#just the internet can be really dangerous!#and i think meeting and talking to people through the internet is fun but again i prefer to use a lot of caution#like i get nervous being responsible for my own internet safety at times#being responsible for multiple other peoples too?? i think id go crazy with anxiety#again im really so sorry and i promise im not mad or upset#this ask just made me really nervous and im really freaked out by the idea of more people doing this sort of thing here#like i said it mostly as a joke earlier but seriously im not a dating service#and while i hear their security sucks a lot of the time#it’s still probably better than some random 23 year old on the internet that you know next to nothing about#💫
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Something I want to build on with vincent at some point is how much the years of being an adventurer has taken a toll on him. he spent so long just being angry at the world but as he gets closer and closer to carteneau he does start recognizing how reckless he's been and the mistakes he's made over the years. friendships (especially with layla and nhea) helping him get a little closer to how he used to be before finally stopping and trying to do better for himself when he loses his leg. and the fact that guilt has really solidified in him to still make him push himself in his healing rather than combat (though sometimes still pushing himself too far) and how the years of treating himself like a weapon have taken a toll on his mind (he has terrible nightmares that only a select few have been able to help him through it)
#look at me building on vincent more#though this stuff isn't actually new and i'm pretty sure i've mentioned some of it before#but i'd like to round it out more#like nhea being his first friend after leaving gridania that wasn't just a one off working together#or how his and gaius's relationship started because of that mutual understanding of wanting to be better even if their reasons differed#little things like that mainly because i honestly really like how. varied his personality can be#he's usually really calm and collected but now and then he makes some really reckless moves that's more akin to his WoL days#finding ways to make the nightmares easier to more avoidable ranging from meditation to a good solid support at his back#the support being a literal wall sometimes when he was still traveling alone or sharing a cot with gaius when he joins up with them#that bit of safety making a bigger difference than he would've expected though it's not always perfect#i have had thoughts on the zodiark fight because he gets stuck as a tank with a weapon he's not overly familiar with#and that ends up with his leg getting busted up and cid and nero being a little too busy to fix it so he's relegated to helping other ways#which would tie in my idea of his crutches being able to act as a conjurer's staff >:3#my little moon expedition team ends up being the main squad of raya nhea layla and vincent#not sure where einar is at the time since he was in garlemald maybe staying back to help people? probably?#but yea it's 2 monks a white mage and a lancer with a gunblade so goes about as well as you'd expect lol#raya and nhea are both paladins as well so i guess technically one of them could tank instead but hey#this wasn't supposed to be a ramble in the tags kinda post but here we are
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#alison speaks?#to be deleted probably#not to like be weird about things people are already pretty weird about#but like beyond the absolute turn of ‘aCTUALLY this dude we liked for the past six years was a VILLIAN in her story’#it’s the fact that some people have an audacity to look at the relationship they were in for six years#and go ‘yknow what? it was all just so she could get here. it was all about the healing’ and granted yeah#good people can help you be better. a safe person and a safe place can allow yourself the time and safety it takes to grow and heal#but honest to goodness they did NOT commit to their six year long relationships and endure all their hardships#he did NOT support her during some of the worst moments in her career#just for y’all to reduce him to some stepping stone in her story#to view him as if the whole universe revolves around her like#like imo he deserved way fucking better#and honestly unless the relationship ended in a way that i really really really could not believe it did#it’s pretty fucking shitty that he had to put up with all the shit he got from the internet after the split went public#it’s pretty fucking shitty that y’all act like she can’t really do wrong in a relationship#that y’all STILL are unable to see it as anything other than sure humans make mistakes but men are absolutely terrible#like the need to analyze the fuck out of a song yall call deep and sad and so telling#that really just sounds like ‘why couldn’t you read my mind?’ makes me want to YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#anyways that’s enough and maybe the last thing i’ll say#bc honestly if the current relationship ends up not lasting (not that i wish that on them#don’t get me wrong) but like if it doesn’t? just wait for everyone to come up with all the reasons why#this guy who brought her back and made her so happy and blah blah blah was ACTUALLY? a shitty guy the whole time#okay yeah that’s all that’s it#i think the reason this makes me so angry is bc y’all would not tolerate this if the situations/reactions were reversed#and honestly the amount of disrespect for a relationship that did not go burning down in flames between two people together for six years#that shared a life and a home … to get this disrespect i just….#i wish healing and happiness and growth for both of them#but damn
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Feels like theres an insane missed opportunity about irida character in the game cuz shes picked as leader after the war, FOR A REASON
#z rambles#< clearly do not fucking like everyones interpretation of her character#Okay silly little inexperienced young girl irida is fine but idc for it its not a trope im like excited for but its there#Still I just don't like how they made her to be this. I wouldn't say naive but clearly incompetent leader with the tropey protecting bs#but like. It don't make sense then why the fuck is she leader when theres other a LOT more competent people#There must be sth they saw in her that was like oh yeah shell guide us to a better future. We will have a life better than the current one#I'm just annoyed about it idk why I choose to be annoyed about it now#I do feel like no matter what everything. Protecting her people wouldve already been her intention to begin with#So making that the resolution for her at the end was kinda redundant#I feel like there's a lot more to her than whatever tf they gave her#Or that's cuz I'm crazy and whatever WHATEVER#from here on out I'm talking about Irida separated from the game >#Like. Shes picked as leader and sinner went with her probably cuz for what? Sinner doesn't stick to people they don't find worthwhile#Maybe theres this interest of like huh so the pearls have u as the leader now they must have a reason and I wanna see how it plays out#And I think during their first conversation sinner might've caught themself thinking oh this is just like great grand leader#Mostly cuz from their idea of uniting people and building a safety community and lack of trust in their power and knowledge#But idk there's sth there that made sinner caught themself reminiscing about the past#Anyways back to normal stuff >#Its just annoying cuz now even the whole palina is kinda petty about not being picked as leader shit even worse??#Like obv palina can be petty about it that's valid of her but writing irida off as this inexperienced clueless kid zero goal is just....#There's sth about it that set irida up for failure from the start and I don't like it#Also with this writing. It must makes palina case so much worse? Like she's not just petty here. Shes just. Kinda a bad friend#Also cuz palina character works on the tough love bs and I DO NOT like it one bit so#Its weeeeirddd#But pla is a really short game and it didn't establish much for our imagination and their time so#Its awful but it gives me room to imagine and. Complain.
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this election discourse reminds me so much of finals discourse…. (Obviously much higher stakes but)
#It’s like oh well game 5 was rigged#well then you should have done a better job so it wasn’t as close#“oh these stupid people are splitting the ticket aoc and trump”#well you should have SAID SOMETHING in the campaign to let them know it wasn’t going to be the same#Maybe not “I can’t think of anything that would change from Biden to Harris”#obviously these results are very serious and very bad things are going to happen#but blaming voters for being “stupid” or not thinking about the bigger picture is how we got here#you cannot just say well it would be worse with the other guy#you have to give people something to vote FOR#like I was also of the mindset well enthusiasm looks good for Harris#and I don’t particularly think Biden was great candidate in 2020 but I voted for him anyways#so it’s really not all that different this year#but it was and either the democrats are actually going to have a reckoning or this country won’t exist#there are a few other options but like …#and as someone who does still mask everywhere I kind of thought well I know the pandemic is still happening#and that this admin is letting it run wild not to mention h5n1#but other people ie everyone who doesn’t mask doesn’t know or doesn’t care so that probably won’t be the tipping point#and it turns out that calling the pandemic over and dropping the safety net the Dems put in place#actually did affect people and furthermore people seeing foreign aid but not domestic aid was also a big issue#I did see the bloodbath electoral map if pelosi hadn’t forced Biden out and that was wild
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Like obviously there are no hard and fast rules about this sort of thing. But I feel like cosplay costumes, especially ones intended to be worn to conventions, should have visibility as an especially high priority. Like contrive of some detail that will allow you to see where your feet are, for example.
#this applies more to like. big enconced in armor or creature puppet type costumes.#the only other option is to have one or several spotters keeping a close eye on you#but like yeah from a safety perspective if you cant see the performer's eyes just assume they can't see you very well#i don't know if the average person thinks about that#source: firsthand accounts from disneyland fuzzies#and general pointing my autism at how costuming and performance stuff works for lord knows how long#movie costumes and theme park suits to some extent can deal with blind performers by controlling the environment and length of performing#if you're going to just be surrounded by people in an uncontrolled way you probably are going to want to be able to see better than that#like you'd need to be able to see better
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