#that really just sounds like ‘why couldn’t you read my mind?’ makes me want to YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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bandsanitizer · 1 year ago
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#alison speaks?#to be deleted probably#not to like be weird about things people are already pretty weird about#but like beyond the absolute turn of ‘aCTUALLY this dude we liked for the past six years was a VILLIAN in her story’#it’s the fact that some people have an audacity to look at the relationship they were in for six years#and go ‘yknow what? it was all just so she could get here. it was all about the healing’ and granted yeah#good people can help you be better. a safe person and a safe place can allow yourself the time and safety it takes to grow and heal#but honest to goodness they did NOT commit to their six year long relationships and endure all their hardships#he did NOT support her during some of the worst moments in her career#just for y’all to reduce him to some stepping stone in her story#to view him as if the whole universe revolves around her like#like imo he deserved way fucking better#and honestly unless the relationship ended in a way that i really really really could not believe it did#it’s pretty fucking shitty that he had to put up with all the shit he got from the internet after the split went public#it’s pretty fucking shitty that y’all act like she can’t really do wrong in a relationship#that y’all STILL are unable to see it as anything other than sure humans make mistakes but men are absolutely terrible#like the need to analyze the fuck out of a song yall call deep and sad and so telling#that really just sounds like ‘why couldn’t you read my mind?’ makes me want to YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#anyways that’s enough and maybe the last thing i’ll say#bc honestly if the current relationship ends up not lasting (not that i wish that on them#don’t get me wrong) but like if it doesn’t? just wait for everyone to come up with all the reasons why#this guy who brought her back and made her so happy and blah blah blah was ACTUALLY? a shitty guy the whole time#okay yeah that’s all that’s it#i think the reason this makes me so angry is bc y’all would not tolerate this if the situations/reactions were reversed#and honestly the amount of disrespect for a relationship that did not go burning down in flames between two people together for six years#that shared a life and a home … to get this disrespect i just….#i wish healing and happiness and growth for both of them#but damn
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starkeysprincess · 6 months ago
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Late Night Needs
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pairing: perv!bsf!rafe cameron x oblivious!reader
summary: your best friend, rafe, calls you one night to talk, or so you think.
warnings: male masturbation, smut 18+ only, perv bsf rafe, oblivious/unaware reader, sexual themes
a/n: ty to my faves @oceandriveab for proof reading hehe and @babygorewhore for helping me w the title MWAH
gif creds: @tetragonia
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It was currently two in the morning when you woke up to the sound of your phone going off. You grabbed your phone, squinting as you looked to see several missed calls from your best friend, Rafe.
Just as you were about to call him back, your phone rang again. "Rafe?" you mutter as you answer the call but all you can hear is heavy breathing. "Hello?" you call out again and there's a small pause, "Yeah, 's me" his voice is low, "I've been trying to reach you all damn night".
"It's two in the morning" you groan, your eyes can barely stay open. "Just wanted to talk to my best friend, 's all" he breathes heavily, "Hold on, let me facetime you".
Before you can say anything, he switches the call to a facetime call, which of course, you accept it. As soon as he appears on the screen of your phone, you take notice that he was in his bed, sitting up against his headboard. He held his phone at an angle that showed his face and down to gist shirtless chest. “Why are you up?” was the first thing you asked, which made him chuckle, “Can’t talk to my best friend?”.
You give him a look, “At two in the morning?”. He shrugs, “Couldn’t sleep”. There was a pause and you could’ve sworn you heard the faint sound of heavy breathing but brushed it off, “Just got somethin’ on my mind” he added.
His comment makes you sit up in your bed and reach over to turn your bedside lamp on. As soon as you turned on the lamp, the light illuminated your features, causing Rafe to let out a small groan, one that you didn’t hear.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the FaceTime call, Rafe’s room was filled with the wet sounds of his hand stroking himself as he talked to you. His breathing was heavy and he was more than thankful at how oblivious you are.
For as long as Rafe has known you, he always knew you were an oblivious little thing. You never knew what was going on around you. It honestly turned him on even more knowing that you had no clue what he was doing on the other side of the FaceTime call.
"Wanna talk about what's on your mind?" you question, "No, ‘m fine. Just talk, wanna hear you talk" Rafe grunts, "You always make me feel better". You eagerly nodded because you would do anything to make him feel better. He was your best friend, after all.
He wasn’t really paying attention to exactly what you were saying, his mind is too focused on imagining how you’d sound under him as he moves his hand faster on his length and god, he just knew you’d make the prettiest fucking sounds for him.
As much as he loved listening to your voice and seeing your pretty little face on his screen, he desperately needed more. He needed to feel closer to you, almost as if you were with him in his bed.
Luckily, for Rafe, he knew just exactly how he can somewhat get the feeling of you wrapped around him.
He stopped for a second, unwrapping his hand from around himself before reaching into his pillowcase, pulling out a pair of your panties that he had stolen from the last time he was in your room. Sure, it wasn't anywhere near being what your cunt would feel like but it was the closest he could get to.
He wraps your panties around the base of his cock and starts stroking himself again. "Fuck" he groans, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. "Everything okay?" your voice rings through his ears, "Mhm, everything's good" he mutters, "So fuckin' good".
"What are you doing?" you ask curiously, still unaware of what he's really doing. "Just takin' care of something, nothing your pretty little head should worry about" he grunts, his hand moving faster as he opens his eyes to look at you while you were too busy paying attention to god knows what.
He bites his lip as he roughly fists his length up and down. The feeling of your panties wrapped around his cock, your voice, and the sight of you was all starting to get to him and he can feel himself getting close.
"Look at me" Rafe commanded with heavy-lidded eyes, his hand never slowing down. You stopped what you were doing and looked into the camera. "Oh fuck" he grunted as he reaches his orgasm, spurts of his cum covering your panties that he had wrapped around him.
"Are you sure you're okay, Rafe?" you question with concern, only to receive a smirk from him, "Never felt better" he mutters as he stares at your panties covered in his cum.
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milfsdoll · 2 months ago
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Everybody knows that I’m a good girl, officer.
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Officer!Agnes x reader
Summary: After almost burning your house down because of your boyfriend you end up at the police office, being interrogated by your ex girlfriend.
Warnings: +18, smut, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Agatha, bratty sub!reader, handcuffs, chocking, hair pulling, degrading kink, praise kink, strap on, slight spanking kink, daddy kink, fluff.
Word count: 4k
A/N: this is my first fic so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing! Also english is not my first language <3
Masterlist
——— • ☾ • ————— • ☾ • ————— • ☾ • ———
You honestly didn’t know how it happened, one minute you were screaming at your cheater of a boyfriend and his fucking side chick and the next thing you remember was running out of the house, trying to get away from the flames.
You sighed in relief, finally at home after a long and stressful day at work, your boss was being a bitch again and making you do extra hours just because she feels like it. God how you hated her, you just wanted to go home, have a nice dinner and watch some bad movie with your boyfriend. 
As you reached your door, searching for your keys inside of your needlessly big purse you heard a sound coming from inside of the house, making you stop immediately, what was that? Again, another noise, was it… a moan? Pressing your ear to the door you heard it once again… and again… those were definitely moans “what the fuck?” Was he watching porn or something? I mean you couldn’t blame him if he did, you were barely home, but then you heard it, someone moaning his name. 
Your heart stopped for a moment, he could not… could he? 
With shaky hands and ringing ears you carefully opened the door, the sight of candles all around the hall and into the living room making you shake your head, no, no no no no no, three years, three years of relationship, this couldn’t be happening, right? He wouldn’t throw it all away, not like that, right? Your mind was playing with you, it had to be that.
Slowly, you made your way to said living room, the moans and grunts getting louder, and your heart pace getting quicker, and then you saw it, you were’t crazy, it was really happening “You motherfucker” your hoarse voice causing the room fall silent, your now, ex boyfriend, throwing the blonde girl off his lap, watching as she immediately put her clothes on and ran through the door, you didn’t care a bit about her.
You only focused how he made his way to you, the noises of him trying to talk to you into a pit of lies sounded blurry.
“Honey, it’s not what it looks like I swear” mhm… what a cliche lie,
“It’s her fault! She seduced me” great try, another one, 
“I’m so sorry, my love” huh, that was a good one… no,
“It’s not my fault you’re never home to get me off, I had to find someone else!” oh there was it, that son of a bitch.
Everything went red, you weren’t conscious of what you were doing, throwing everything your hands reached at him, screaming how much of a stupid fucker he was, not even trying to hide it, doing it in your own fucking home! And you didn’t realize one of the many things you threw at him was one of the big candles he set, hitting against the curtains.
It happened too fast, there was fire everywhere, and you stood there, frozen in the middle of the living room, staring at the burnt out wall, realizing what a stupid thing you did, I mean you didn’t even love him, you never did, but you trusted him, and you felt fucking betrayed. 
It wasn’t until a big flame got into your view you got out of your shock and ran out of the house, a police car already waiting for you.
And now here you were, sat in the interrogation room, leg shaking with anxiety and your heel kicking the floor repeatedly, staring at the door as if someone would appear faster. You’ve been waiting like 20 minutes already, and you knew there was only one person in the police office at this hour so you didn’t understand why she was making you suffer like this.
It’s something she have always loved to do.
As those thoughts ran through your head the door opened, revealing the brunette woman, she leaned against the door after closing it, studying you for a moment, she tried to grasp everything around her head, trying to understand the reason behind all of this “I’m very curious… what made you burn your house down and nearly killing you and your boyfriend?”
You scoffed and the last word “not my boyfriend, not after tonight” your words sounded furious and… painful, you squirmed in the chair, feeling quite uncomfortable “I didn’t mean to ok? You know I’m not that crazy” 
Agnes and you had a… situationship in the past, you both wanted more, wanted a serious relationship but her work and schedule were a problem, you barely saw her once a week or two causing you to argue a lot, so you both decided to part ways and stay friends, it was the best for both of you.
Or that’s what you wanted to believe anyway.
The older woman hummed, detaching herself from the door and sitting on the chair in front of you “I know” of course she knew, she knew you weren’t capable of hurting a flower “that’s why I’m asking you” 
You looked up at her from your fidgeting hands “I caught that fucker cheating, alright? I-I got furious and started throwing things at him and maybe… accidentally, I threw him a lit candle” replaying the scene in your head you let out a giggle, seeing his stupid face was worth it after all “but honestly Agnes? I don’t regret a thing”
Well… maybe you were a little crazy.
She fought back a smirk, she couldn’t blame you, he deserved it, she always knew that bastard wasn’t good for you, and if she had found out about it before she would have done the same thing, or worse, no one but she can mess with her girl “well, I’m sorry” she wasn’t, at all “but I’m afraid you have to spend the night in the tank”
What? No
No way you were gonna spend a second in that hell hole.
And just like that, an idea crossed your mind, it was risky but you knew very well it would work, for both of you.
“But… Aggie” you whined, looking at her with doe eyes, yes… you were playing that card “you know I’m a good girl” she flinched in surprise, feeling your foot caress her leg under the table. 
Those eyes, those fucking eyes.
You were playing a dangerous game, but oh… two can play this game and she hates to lose.
Without saying a word she got up, slowly making her way around the table, you watched her intently, like a prey watching her hunter’s next move, and then suddenly you let out a gasp, she threw your chair back with a kick, caging you between her arms, resting them on each side of the chair.
“Are you? Because I only remember you being a fucking brat” she was so close, so close you could smell her woody perfume, her breath against your face, fuck how you’ve missed her, every smell, every touch, every word of hers.
No one could ever compare to Agnes.
“And I remember you loving it… you loved to fuck the brattiness out of me, you loved to shut me up shoving your dick in my mouth” your hand carefully ran up her leg, watching her breath hitch you never took your eyes off hers, and just as you reached her crotch you felt something hard, making you bite you lip “you haven’t changed a bit Agnes, always packing around with that purple d-” 
She didn’t let you finish, grabbing you by the throat, shoving you up and against the wall, earning a huffed grunt from you and grabbing her wrist for support.
There she was, the rough Agnes you always loved, how she lost control of herself because of you, it made you weak on the knees, your mind already fogging into submission, but you had to fight it back, you wanted to test her limits, to totally break her, and let her break you from the inside in return.
On her end she knew she should tease you further, see how far you were capable of going but she was so weak for you, all this time apart from you, trying to find you in other girls but there wasn’t anyone like you, she only wanted you, she needed you, like she knew you needed her.
“You’re playing a dangerous game you know you’ll lose to here, pet”
God, you loved when she called you that, her pet, her plaything, her doll to play around anytime and anywhere she wanted. 
No.
Focus.
Break her.
“Is that the best you can do Aggie? Aww, maybe I was wrong, maybe you’ve lost your spark” 
Yes, yes, yes, that was the look you were searching for, that rough, primal look that sent you into a subspace without hesitation, you were ready to take whatever she wanted to give you.
Agnes pushed her leg between yours, pressing against your center, watching as your face squirmed in pleasure, she always found it fascinating how she could pull these kind of reactions out of you with such little actions “you really think you’re in control here, hm?”
You both knew the answer, you both knew there was no way you could take control.
“A-Agnes, is this really the place to do this?” Your voice came out hushed and shaky, your mind fighting to get a hold of itself.
The older woman chuckled darkly at your state “oh please, don’t tell me you’re chickening out now doll” and she knew you were right, the interrogation room was no place for this but she knew too neither of you were gonna be capable of waiting another second. 
She would deal with the consequences later.
Her hand on your throat loosened, letting you breathe for a bit, they travelled down your figure, stopping on your waist, her eyes burning into yours, you saw her expression change for a moment “you have no idea how much I missed you”
Shit, this wasn’t in your plan.
You gulped, trying to loose the nervous knot in your throat “I missed you too, every fucking day” your voice came out in a whisper, as if you were telling her your deepest secret, and maybe it was. 
Agnes pulled you close, her hands tightening around your waist as if you were going to disappear from her grasp, she had to make sure this was real and not just a dream.
Your lips ghosted against hers, your hands caressing her face, eyes still locked on each other, both of you trying to search for any sign of regret “are you sure you want this?” that made you nod eagerly “I need words baby”
“Yes, yes Aggie, I want you… I need you”
And then her lips were on yours, it was slow and sweet at first, both of you trying to savour the moment after all these years apart, but just as a moan escaped your lips Agnes lost it, her tongue asking for entrance licking your lip, you immediately let her, submitting to her, letting her take control of the kiss. 
You were always so good to her, always her good girl.
She walked backwards until her legs hit the table turning you both around “up” she simply said patting your hip softly, causing your puffy lips break into a smile, and of course you obeyed her, hopping on the table before grabbing her by the collar and smashing your lips against hers again.
Your impatient hands deciding to rip her flannel shirt after various failing attempts unbuttoning it, the action making the older woman to laugh against your lips “you’re buying me a new one” 
You huffed “you have plenty of those, officer” she smirked at the new title.
“Cute, but I like the old title better” her hands making their way into your pencil skirt, stroking your inner thighs, realizing how much she missed your soft and warm skin, how she missed having those thighs around her head, clenching and unclenching with every one of her touch.
“Okay… daddy” 
And just with that her whole mind went feral, grabbing the slit of your skirt she ripped it in two, making you gasp and looking at her in disbelief “well, now we’re even” before you could spit back at her she cupped your cunt, your head falling back with a moan “fuck, did I make you this wet, pet?” She bit her lip, rubbing the wet spot on your thong with her fingers. 
“You know you always do, even only the thought of you does” That stroked her ego, thinking how you got this messy only thinking of her, after all this time, it made her even more eager to ruin you.
You watched her as she got on her knees, your breath hitching as she travelled your thighs with kisses, pushing your legs apart so she could tease you further but never where you really wanted her. 
You knew what she wanted, teasing you like that, playing with the stripes of your thong with her fingers, but you just whined, grabbing her head attempting to push her to your center but she just sat back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow “come on… it’s not that hard to ask me nicely if you want it that bad, doll”
Groaning desperately, your mind trying to fight back the words you just stared at her with heavy breath, her eyes watching your every desperate move, knowing very well the fight that was going on in that pretty head of yours.
And she knew exactly how to get it out of you.
“Do it for me, pet, come on beg for daddy” she then continued with her kisses, now starting from your ankle, watching as you gripped the ends of the table tightly “be a good girl and beg for me to fuck you, sweet thing”
Your jaw hanged low, your eyebrows furrowing in total desperation.
Come on, you just have to say the word.
Be a good girl.
Her good girl.
“Please” 
It came out shaky, her kisses stopping to look at you “please, please fuck me Aggie”
Yes, much better. 
She had you just where she wanted you “there you are, my good girl”
Then you both rushed to discard your thong and the ripped skirt before she locked your legs around her shoulders, finally burring her head in your center, giving your clit a long lick that had both of you moaning, your hand flying to her hair, pushing her further into you, wanting to feel her even closer.
And she gladly did, wanting to get drunk of your taste, her skilled mouth nipping and sucking on your clit, loving every sound she pulled from you, holding your hips down as they desperately rolled towards her face. 
Your back arched into nothing as you felt her two fingers tease your entrance “fuck, daddy please” your submission making the older woman chuckle only of the vibrations to go right to your core, causing you to let out a strangled moan.
And deciding to put your suffering to an end Agnes slowly pushed her large digits inside you, feeling your legs tense around her head, her pace painfully slow, to focused on your face and reactions, your head almost snapping back as she curled her fingers inside of you, making you struggle to breathe at the amount of pleasure she was giving you.
She could never get enough of you, your intoxicating taste and addicting sounds, she could spend the rest of her life between your legs, driving you absolutely mad with just her mouth and fingers, feeling your warm hole, how you clenched and unclenched around her fingers trying to last a little more only to have her like this.
Quickening her pace, her got up, pulling you into a deep kiss as her thumb continued the abuse on your clit, swallowing your whines and moans and letting you taste yourself, her free hand making it’s way inside of your top, finding your nipple and pinching it between her finger, she always loved how you went braless everywhere, making it easier for her to access.
And when she felt your core clench harder, knowing you were already close to your orgasm, all her movements stopped “w-what are you doing?” you whined out, tears threatening to spill from your eyes from the overstimulation.
“Shh, it’s ok” she kissed your temple “open your mouth”
Without hesitating for a second you obeyed, her fingers slipping in, making you instantly close your mouth and suck, watching as her lips parted and pupils darkening in pleasure, your tongue playing with her fingers, cleaning them before she got them out, your mouth letting out a ‘pop’ sound. 
She then suddenly pushed you off the table and turned you around, pressing your front against the cold surface, manhandling you in the position she wanted “you better keep your hands there” she said locking your hands on your back.
“I will, daddy” you bit your lip from giggling shaking your ass against the hard bulge in her pants, knowing the effect that action had on the woman. 
There was silence for a moment, you could feel her eyes on you, and then- 
slap!
You gasped in surprise, your body jumping forward “keep that up and it won’t be the only one” you felt her deep voice right in your ear, her hand caressing you red and itchy bottom cheek.
You couldn’t deny and say you didn’t like it, on the contrary, it felt fucking good, but right now you just wanted her to fuck you raw, so just nodded keeping in mind to bring that side of her another time. 
The sound of a belt unbuckling reached your ears, your heartbeat fastening in excitement and your legs rubbing against each other for some friction yes please, please, please, your hands twitched, needing to grab onto something, or to feel her under your touch “keep. them. there.” 
It was easy, right?
Wrong.
You swallowed a whine in anticipation, feeling her hand running down your back, stopping on your waist, and just as you felt her rub against your entrance your hands flew to grab the table for support “oh… my poor pet…” she roughly grabbed your wrists, and after a second you felt something cold around them, and then a click “you asked for it” 
Did she just put her handcuffs on you? Fuck, you shouldn’t find it as hot as you found it.
She took advantage of that distraction to push herself inside of you, watching your whole body squirm in pain and pleasure while a loud moan escaped your lips, stilling for a moment, letting you adjust to her size, and it only took her seeing your hips start to push back into her to slide out almost entirely before roughly pushing into you again, the table cracking at the action “fuck!” 
She kept her rough but slow pace, the sounds of your moans and whines getting louder, oh how she missed having you like this, all fucked out because of her, your little brain only filled with her and the pleasure she was giving you. 
You felt her hand interlock into your hair, and in a sudden move your back was flushed against her front, both of you seeing your reflexion in the mirror on the wall “look at you… already so ruined and I just started fucking you” you clenched around the strap, wishing she could feel how your body reacted to her words, but she could see it, she saw how your breath stopped for a second, how your eyes closed with a cute little frown on your eyebrows.
Her free hand made it’s way around your throat, squeezing it just the right amount to make your mind fog, your moans fighting to get out as her pace quickened, but it wasn’t enough, you needed more “p-please” you managed to let out, looking at her through the reflexion.
Just like she could read your mind she removed her hand from your hair and painfully slow travelled down your body, rubbing and pinching your nipple, scratching your lower stomach, before finally making you roll your eyes back, pressing your clit between her fingers, while her dick hit that right spot it had you seeing stars. 
The obscene sounds of your skin against hers and your strangled breath turning the older woman on more than she would admit, her praises in your ear as she abused your clit faster “Good girl… you’re doing so good for daddy”
Your legs already shaking, the knot on your lower stomach getting harder to hold “d-daddy please, please let me cum” your almost pornographic moans getting more desperate by the second “fuck- please I’m so close!”
“Cum for me” it only took those words from her to reach your orgasm, your lips parting in an ‘o’ shape, summing all over her strap.
She slowed her pace, helping you through your orgasm, only stopping when your limb body fell on the cold table, making you shudder.
She let you catch your breath for a second, stroking your back up and down before she stood you up again, turning you around to see your fucked out face.
You opened your eyes to look at her smirking face, causing you to chuckle “hi” you whispered, closing the gap between your lips, both of you humming “are you gonna uncuff me now, officer?” 
“Not yet” she pecked your lips lovingly again before looking at you, with those demanding eyes “on your knees” 
You stared at her for a second, your breath hitching once again in anticipation, and slowly you got on your knees before her, watching her with doe eyes “you know what to do, clean your mess doll” and that you did, your tongue darting out to lick her shaft from the base, never taking your eyes off hers, slowly taking the large, purple dick into your mouth.
Her hand rested on your cheek, her thumb softly wiping away a tear that fell from your eye, her shaft hitting the back of your throat “breathe beautiful, through your nose” she hummed as she held your face down, enjoying having you like this again, your mouth full of her, struggling to breathe and those beautiful tears on your face. 
So fucking obedient for her.
When you started to cough around her she finally pulled out, helping you get up, and sitting you on the table while uncuffing you, her lips kissing all over your face as you recovered, your hands fisting on her navy blue tank top as soon as they were free “you did so good for me, sweetheart” she whispered against your lips, making you smile. 
“Thank you Aggie” 
You rested your forehead against hers, both of you savoring the sweet moment, her hands tightly around your waist in a possessive and protective way.
These were the moments you missed the most, her sweet self taking care of you, making sure you were ok like she didn’t just fuck your brains out a minute ago.
It was almost comical.
“So… officer, am I still spending the night in the tank?” She laughed at that, kissing your forehead softly, you were insufferable.
“Thinking about it… it will be the best if you spend the night at my place” you bit your lip suppressing a smile, you were too excited to wake up in the morning next to the older brunette woman “what do you think?”
“I’d love to” you whispered before pulling her into a loving kiss.
She helped dressing up again, giving you a pair of sweats she had in her office, and when you were gonna leave her office she grabbed you hand, pulling you flush against her.
She stared at you trying to get the words out, you could see the fight she was having in her mind projected in those blue eyes, so you planted a soft kiss on her nose, your hands caressing her cheeks trying to calm her thoughts, and then she said it.
“Be mine”
Your eyes locked, her eyebrows furrowing in worry as you took a second to reply, but when your lips broke into a smile she knew the answer.
“I have always been yours Agnes”
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girlwtdragontattoo · 2 months ago
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Yandere elf x reader - Love Making
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Character and Art belongs to @meo-eiru! Go follow her and love her 🫶(pushes all of you to her blog)
I am out of ideas, y‘all. I am so happy you guys love my dumb smut lol 🩷 really thank you! Idk if I‘ll do any more, unless specifically asked. Also, if meru is ok with it ✨
Warning: 18+ content, drugging, general nsfw, oral !
—————
He smothered you with his length.
You got brief respite when he exited, gasping in short bursts.
Silas was caressing your face with both of his hands, holding you in place. His soft thumb pressed lightly into your cheek.
„Good, good~“, he cooed breathily.
In his mind, he was just giving you your nourishment. He didn‘t fully understand why the milking made him feel so lightheaded, why he longed to do it over and over again. But mothers wrote in the baby books that it is a precious bonding ritual, one they never experienced before.
And surely, this was a feeling he hadn‘t experienced before.
Silas let his darling suck his teats every day, but because he was an elf, his milk was stored elsewhere. Of course!
He had a collection of instructional manuals he had consulted (Romance Novels) and they referred to this act as „love making“. What a beautiful term! Silas felt giddy whenever he thought about it. That‘s definitely what the situation in the spring was, too - it all makes sense now!
Letting out a few breathy moans, he felt you lick his tip, as he thrust gently forward. He had prepared you again, giving you long and deep kisses to fully drench you with his aphrodisiac tongue. It was impossible to stop yourself. The way his kisses made you forget yourself, wanting him. You knew now how hard you could come with him just in you. It was annoying to admit, but you wanted more.
You looked up at him and a flush of purple filled his ethereal face.
„K-keep drinking, my precious…“, he huffed. He was holding himself, pointing it at your open lips.
You let your tongue fall out. You could see him gasp inaudibly from arousal at the sight of you. It was kind of fun to tease him. He looked beside himself, whenever he was close.
Your tongue brushed his tip again and he shivered. He was gently holding the back of your head, his fingers laced within your messed up hair. You could feel him push you forward softly.
Without warning you swallowed him as much as you could. Silas yelped at the feeling of you jerking your head forward vigorously. The sounds he made were so pitiful. You couldn’t get that much of him in your throat, but the mere velocity and sudden depth made the elf convulse and shake uncontrollably. He was trying to hold back, but it was futile.
He exploded with a guttural squeal. You felt his seed plummet into your throat and you quickly released your mouth to avoid choking. More overflowed onto your face, the most of it was dripping out of the sides of your mouth though. You swallowed harshly at the load.
Silas was immobile, his arms twitching by his massive side. He didn‘t speak for a while either, so you just sat there in silence with faint sounds of dripping.
Finally, Silas sat up with a flushed face. Dried tears stained his cheeks as his lip quivered.
„Darling… y-you were hungry, weren‘t you?“ he was trying to talk in his melodic voice, but you had taken his ability to be graceful.
You brushed some semen off your chin and stared at him.
„Oh, let me!“, he grabbed a beautiful doily he had been embroidering with donkeys and cows on it. He read babies like barn animals.
He wiped your face clean.
„There! All clean,“ he beamed down at you. Still feeling a bit sticky, you asked if you could go wash your face. He clapped his hands frantically, proud of you, for whatever reason.
Silas‘s semen didn‘t smell like normal cum. It had a strange, soothing scent to it. You stood over the basin and sniffed your hand a few times. What was in his damn bloodstream that made everything about him smell so fucking divine?
In the background, you heard Silas practice some lullaby, poorly.
Evidently, it was time for bed.
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azrielsrealmate · 3 months ago
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alcohol and pancakes
azriel x reader
summary: azriel was always devoted to you, but when drunk? He was clingy, touchy and devoted. And he wanted to take care of you even if his mind was spinning.
warnings: mentions of alcohol?
word count: 1.3k
this is a silly little thing because I’ve just read somewhere that Azriel gets clingy when drunk and oh my god that’s sooo cute 😭
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Your touch on his cheek was like a soothing balm for a wound that throbbed and stung, with each languid and incredibly soft stroke easing the pain more and more. He let go, leaning into your touch.
Why did he always have to be the tough and unbreakable guy? He wasn’t that tough, nor unbreakable, he was just... himself. And your gentle caresses made him want to whimper. His honeyed eyes closed with a hum of satisfaction, and you laughed softly. Why was even your laugh soft? Azriel didn’t understand. Azriel didn’t want to understand.
“How much have you had to drink?” you asked, arching both eyebrows in pure tenderness.
It took Azriel several seconds to process the question, in reality, he had drunk quite a bit. But that didn’t diminish any of the things he wanted to do with you, which at the moment was nothing more than resting his face between your generous breasts. He nuzzled your palm, breathing in and pressing a soft kiss.
“Not too much.”
Liar. Lies. A shadow whispered in his ear, and Azriel nearly growled, brushing it aside and nuzzling your hand further.
“Ah, I see,” you murmured, entertained by the sight—a warrior nearly two meters tall, and a spy no less, clinging to you like a needy child craving affection. Your voice was drenched in amusement, dripping over him just enough to make him open his eyes slightly.
“I’m not that drunk.” He almost whined, his eyebrows furrowing, and you had to stifle another giggle. Not wanting to offend the oh-so-scary shadowsinger that was hovering over your body, laid across your marriage bed.
“I’m not that drunk,” Azriel repeated, this time with a firmer, almost defiant tone, though it wasn’t as firm or defiant as he intended, because you could see the tremor at the corner of his lip, trying not to smile like a fool upon seeing your own smile. He reminded you more of Nyx trying to convince you that he wasn’t sleepy at bedtime just to spend more time with you, than of the five-hundred-year-old spy that he was.
His eyes, usually as inscrutable as the night sky, were now clouded by a mixture of alcohol and a tenderness he rarely allowed himself to show—a vulnerability that made you stroke his cheek once more.
“Azriel…” you whispered with a gentleness that only softened the normally sharp edges of his face further. You could see the freckles scattered across his nose, small and nearly invisible, like tiny constellations marking his skin. And the slight green ring in the center of his eyes, and a few strands of hair longer than the others.
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of you,” he said, burying his face in the crook of your neck, this time sounding more resolute, acceptably more resolute, as he breathed in your scent like it was a balm he desperately needed. The way his body, so big and strong, curled up against yours was a delightful paradox you couldn’t help but enjoy. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders to pull him closer. You felt the weight of his head on your shoulder, the brush of his dark hair against your cheek. “I can take care of you... always.”
A soft laugh, impossible to contain, escaped your lips. The irony of his words filled your chest with a playful warmth. “Really?” you teased, your hands caressing his back with the same slow indulgence of someone petting a spoiled kitten. Carefully avoiding his wings, so as not to turn clingy-drunk Azriel into horny-clingy-drunk Azriel. “Then, if you’re so capable, why don’t you go down to the kitchen and make me some dinner?” You were pretty sure he would wobble if he got up.
Azriel lifted his head, his eyes gleaming with a determined light that almost made you regret your words. He could make you dinner—no, he should make it for you. You were his mate, and he had lost count of how many nights he had come home dazed with exhaustion only to find a warm dinner and loving arms.
Before you could react, he got up from the bed with the agility of a feline, the weight of his determination palpable in the air, your thoughts incredibly wrong; he didn’t wobble even once.
“Azriel, no—” you began, reaching for his arm as he headed toward the door. “It was a joke, I’ve already eaten, please don’t try to make me dinner when you’re in this state…”
He didn’t listen, or decided not to, moving through the room with that lethal grace so natural to him. You were forced to follow him as he made his way down the hallway and then down the stairs to the kitchen.
When you reached the kitchen, you made sure to turn on the lights because Azriel hadn’t bothered, given that he was already opening the cabinets, inspecting their contents with an intensity that almost made you worry.
“I’ll make you pancakes,” he announced, and you laughed, so much that your cheeks turned red.
“Pancakes?” you approached him, placing a hand on his arm in an attempt to stop him. “Az, that’s not dinner.”
“It will be,” he said, determined, and his stubbornness brought another smile to your face. There was no stopping him now, so you resigned yourself to helping him.
He continued to inspect the cabinet contents, searching for something that he didn’t even have in mind. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle—he was so determined that he didn’t even seem lost.
“How about you start by getting the flour?” Azriel’s eyes lit up as if he finally remembered something. He grabbed the bag of flour. Then he looked back at the other contents in the cabinet, and you wanted to laugh again.
“The eggs and then the milk.” As he pulled out the ingredients with hands that were skilled but slightly shaky, you stayed close. He observed everything he had taken out, all placed on the counter, and then directed those hazel, clouded eyes at you, tentatively, in a silent question.
“That’s all we need.”
“Ah… I knew that.” He said as if trying to convince you of something.
“Of course you did, I wouldn’t doubt that my clever shadowsinger knew.” You were teasing him, but he didn’t even notice. Though you did notice the red that brushed his cheeks.
You handed him the bowl and the ingredients, watching with amusement as he measured and poured, his brow furrowed in concentration. His hands, which usually wielded weapons with deadly skill, now worked with adorable clumsiness to mix the ingredients. As he stirred, fearing that Azriel might spill too much of the mixture out of the bowl, you moved closer to help him, your hands gently falling over his, trying to guide him. Azriel froze for a second, and you knew almost instinctively that he was looking at the scars covering his hands, so different from the softness of yours. You offered him a warm smile, quickly making him forget about it.
The warmth of the kitchen was comforting, but not as much as the warmth radiating from his body next to yours. That warrior who could bring down armies was now focused on making pancake batter with the same seriousness he would approach any crucial task. And though pancakes weren’t a conventional dinner, you knew that the dedication he was putting into them made them more special than any banquet.
“Is this good?” he murmured, turning his face toward you, and for a moment, his honeyed eyes met yours.
“Perfect,” you replied softly, allowing yourself a small moment of respite in his closeness, enjoying the tenderness hidden behind that façade of hardness.
Azriel nodded, satisfied, before turning toward the pan that was already starting to heat. And as he poured the mixture, you couldn’t help but admire him, so determined and so devoted. All for you. All yours.
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6esiree · 5 months ago
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Gen Z Things With The Hazbin Men Pt. 2
Have this while I finish up the next imagine <3 No Zestial this time around, I’m sorry! I couldn’t find anything for him.
Alastor:
Tooth-Rotting Nicknames
“Go to sleep my little coconut-flavored icecream,” You say, wrapping your arms around Alastor’s shoulders from behind, making him jump. “Or tomorrow you’ll be tired, my sweet sugar pancake.”
“I do not understand your generation,” Alastor chuckles, his cheeks growing warm as the sound of you giving him a big smooch envelops his radio tower. “But very well, darling.”
He stands up from his seat and offers you his hand, thankful for his coat as it shields his wagging tail from your sight.
Lucifer:
The Squishmallows Are Watching
“Do you think the Squishmallows in my room ever, like, watch in horror as you raw dog me?” You say, your limbs tangled underneath the sheets with Lucifer’s.
“Why did that thought cross your mind?” Lucifer stutters, his eyes darting between you and the cute, innocent plushies discarded on the ground.
“I don’t know, but I think I’m going to start turning them around,” You say, and he can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. “I feel bad for them.”
Husk:
Are You Ovulating?
“I like ya hair today, dollface,” Husk says as you take a seat at the bar, winking at you when you blush at his compliment.
The smug bastard.
“Then why don’t you pull it back and forth?” You purr, his eyes widening, but just for a moment.
“Ya ovulatin’?” Husk arches a brow at you, leaning onto the counter, his tail swishing below in excitement.
“How’d you know?” You ask, but he just shrugs, mumbling something about, ‘Just a hunch.’
Vox:
The Pick-Up Line
“All the grip I lost on reality went straight to my pussy,” You say as you approach Vox.
“Excuse me?” Vox stutters, putting his phone down.
“I’m serious, like, do you want me to show you?” You grin, leaning onto his arm with an enticing smile.
“Is that supposed to be a pick-up line?” Vox asks before sighing and wrapping an arm around you. “It’s stupid but it worked on me—come on.”
Adam:
Getting Bullied On Stream
“Ban the guy who just said I’m the reason they created double doors,” Adam says midway into his stream, trying to focus on his game. “Like, what?”
You try not to laugh, but then another out-of-pocket message pops up on his screen, making you fold.
“Daddy, pay my student loans?” You repeat through tears, clutching your stomach as Adam stares in horror.
“DON’T CALL ME DADDY!”
Angel Dust:
A Temporary Break-Up
“Wtf, I can’t believe after all that shit they’re back together,” You text Angel, instantly piquing his interest.
“Omg who?” Angel texts you back.
“My ass cheeks LMFAOOO.”
As soon as he hears you busting your ass off from the other side of the hotel, he blocks you.
Sir Pentious:
The To-Do List
“Darling, what isss that?” Sir Pentious asks as he looms over you, curious.
You jump, but it’s too late to hide what you were holding: a To-Do List. You had several boxes checked out but one.
“Uhhh,” You say, shooting him a nervous smile as his face flushes upon reading what’s on it.
- Give Pentious 100 hickeys on his chest at 9 o’clock.
“Must we wait til then?” Sir Pentious asks in earnest, twiddling his fingers as he stares up at the ceiling.
Valentino:
Attracting Flies
“I don’t chase, I attract,” Valentino says, taking a long drag of his cigarette.
You slowly turn to him with a shit-eating grin on your face. Velvette notices and she tries to stop you, but she’s too late.
“What do you attract, flies? Because I know you don’t—“ Velvette grabs you before he can throttle you.
Saint Peter:
I’m Not Your Baby Daddy
���Hey! Uh, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve asked you to meet me here,” Saint Peter starts, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
“No, not really,” You shrug, taking a sip of your drink.
“Are you sure?” Saint Peter asks, coming clean when you simply nod. “Okay, I asked you to come here because—look,” He leans over the table, whispering the next part with a blush, “Why are you telling people I’m your ‘Baby Daddy’?”
“I was just bored,” You say, leaning in with a smile, your face mere centimeters away from his. “I don’t hear you complaining, though. Wanna make it a reality?”
He freezes, caught off-guard, but he doesn’t say no to you.
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satxnsupreme666 · 1 month ago
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You don’t know her: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader
Masterlist
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader, platonic!Mothers!WandaNat x fem!reader, platonic!Avengers x fem!reader
Summary: You’re an avenger and you’re dating Agatha Harkness, but none of the avengers know that, Wanda and Natasha are the ones who are more worried since you´re like their daughter, so all of them make a reunion to know who’s your secret date and they decide to spy on you, what will happen when they discover that you’re dating a “villain”?
Warnings: Slight angst, apart from that pure fluff.
Word count: 13.4K
Author’s note: Hello again! Alright so in this story Thanos never happened, the Avengers never split up and Wanda and Natasha are like your mothers
This was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.
I hope you like it!
If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️
Taglist: @midnight-lestrange  @eliscannotdance
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  "Are you going out again? “Natasha asked you from her spot in the chair, her question made that everyone else who was sitting around the table lifted their heads to look at you, many eyes were on you waiting for an answer.
"Yes, I’m going to meet a friend” You said trying to sound as calm as possible.
“And who is this friend of yours? Do you know this friend of her kid?” Tony asked Peter whose head eagerly shook.
“I have friends outside here, why are you interrogating me?” You asked with a frown, but you didn’t want to seem suspicious so you quickly changed that frown into a smile.
“We just want to make sure you’re alright” Said Wanda who was sitting next to Natasha, Wanda nodded her head and she looked at you with an expectant look on her face.
“Well, you do not have to worry about that, because I’m alright” You said with a smile in your face, that wasn’t a lie, you were doing really fine, more than fine actually.
“So, then, tell us, who is this friend of yours?” Natasha inquired while she raised one of her eyebrows, you tried to calm yourself, you didn’t want to lie to Nat, but you had to, you couldn’t tell them who you were going to meet because you knew how they would react, you really hated lying to Nat and to Wanda, but this time you didn’t have any other option.
You really couldn’t tell them her name, she was not even your friend, you were going to see Agatha your girlfriend, but you knew they were not too keen on her, you really couldn’t tell them if you wanted to, so you had to come up with a fake name, but why it was suddenly too hard to think of a name? Everyone around the table looked at you patiently waiting for an answer, Tony was crossing his arms with a frown on his face, Natasha was raising an eyebrow, You could see Peter’s expression full of curiosity, Wanda was frowning and her hands were on the table, you were sure she was trying to read your mind, but thanks to your powers you were able to stop her from entering into your mind, you were glad about that.
“Her name is Agnes” You blurted out; you really hoped the believed you.
“What is her last name?” Natasha asked, what were you supposed to say? If you came up with a fake one and they found out there was an actual person with that name, they would investigate that person, you had to think of something else.
“I won’t tell you because everything you will do will be to look for her on social media and try to hack into her accounts, and just so you know she doesn’t have any social media, but still, I won’t tell you, also It’s getting really late and I have to meet her, see you later” You quickly walked away from them and went straight to the lift, leaving them with more questions than answers.
“Do you know who’s Agnes kid?”  Asked Tony when you left the room.
“No Mr. Stark, I don’t know, I’m surprised I don’t even know about this girl, she tells me everything, but now the only thing she told me was that she had met someone at the library some months ago” Peter said recalling what had happened.
“Some months ago!? When were you planning on telling us?” Natasha snarled; Peter just blinked a little before speaking again.
“I didn’t think it was important at the time” Peter explained, he never really thought too much about it.
“Alright but, you could have told us that y/n had met someone, we just want to make sure she’s alright, we just realized that she’s dating someone a few weeks ago thanks to Steve, and now she’s not telling us about this secret person” Natasha kept saying and her girlfriend Wanda agreed with her, that was true, they just wanted to make sure you were alright.
“Did you catch a glimpse of who could it be?” Natasha asked her girlfriend a second later.
“No, she was blocking me, she didn’t let me, she’s really good at it, now she blocks her mind almost all the time, she really doesn’t want us to know who’s this girl, but I don’t understand why?” Wanda asked with a frown, you didn’t use to keep secrets from them.
“Maybe because last time you intimidated the last girl she was seeing, she didn’t talk to y/n again, because she told y/n that you scared the shit out of her and she didn’t want to have problems with the Avengers?” Peter reasoned
“Language!” Said Steve who was entering to the dining room
“That was different kid, that girl was suspicious” Tony argued, he had been there when they went to look for you because you weren’t answering your phone and they were too worried about you.
“He’s right Peter, that girl was too suspicious, the day we went to look for y/n and her at that coffee shop we found that girl searching for something in y/n’s back-pack” Wanda nodded, Nat was right, that girl was really weird and when they told you about what they had seen, you had felt really bad, you thought that girl was different.
“Fair enough” Said Peter and Tony, Natasha and Wanda nodded at the same time.
“Did she leave again? This is the fourth time in a week” Steve commented while he took a sit next to Wanda and Natasha.
“The fourth time? I thought this was the second time, two days ago I found her talking to someone on the phone and when I walked closer to her to listen to what she was saying she quickly stopped talking, I asked her who she was talking to and she just told me ‘No one’ and with that she quickly left” Natasha recalled the events of some days ago.
“Last Monday when Bucky and I went for some snacks and we were driving down the street a few blocks away from here, we saw y/n coming out from a black car, we supposed it was one of her friends from college but, now that you’re talking about this, it was really weird to see that car parked a few blocks away from here, why wouldn’t she just decided to leave y/n here at the front of the building?” Now that Steve thought about it he really found it really strange, what were you hiding?
“Why didn’t you tell us that Steve? None of her friends from college owns a car” Natasha said while standing from her sit to grab a drink from the fridge
“Miss Romanoff´s right we always take the bus or we just walk” Peter rushed to say
“Could it be that this 'Agnes’ was the one who drove her?” This time Wanda was asking, they were not sure why all this secrecy about this girl.
“Maybe it was one of our professors who drove her here” Peter interrupted; it could be that.
“What do you mean Peter?” Wanda squinted her eyes at him, what was that supposed to mean?
Everyone there turned their heads to look at him
“Well there’s this English professor, her name’s Dottie and I’ve seen the way she looks at y/n, Ned and I share that class with y/n and we’ve seen how professor Dottie comes looking for her or the way she speaks to her, she´s always attentive with y/n, Ned says Mrs. Dottie really likes y/n,  one day I was talking with y/n in the hall when classes finished and Mrs. Dottie came to where we were and she asked y/n if she needed a lift, maybe Mrs. Dottie asked her that on Monday and y/n agreed, because last Monday she left early because she said she had to go to the library, but that she would come back a little later to the tower, maybe that´s why you saw her on Monday” Peter said recalling what had happened on Monday.
"Are you saying that this woman, who’s y/n’s professor flirts with her?” Natasha was shocked just as everyone else in the room.
“I wouldn’t say that, y/n always says that she’s just being nice to her, also you know she’s the best of her class, teachers like her”
“Peter, there’s one big difference between being nice and being a flirt with someone” Natasha told him, she was shocked, why hadn’t you told her or Wanda what had been going on? Wanda sensed her girlfriend´s state and she put her hand on Natasha´s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze.
“What if she’s dating her professor and she just doesn’t want us to find out?” Steve asked, he couldn’t believe it, you were not the one to keep secrets.
“Is y/n dating one of her professors?” A surprised voice was heard from the door and everyone saw Scott Lang standing there.
“We don’t know that yet, but what if she’s dating her?” Wanda asked to everyone with a concerned look on her face.
“Well that would be really cool, right? Isn’t it what everyone wishes? To date one of their teachers? Good for her” Scott commented while he sat down next to Steve, Scot had a grin on his face while he moved his hands.
Everyone around the table looked at him with a serious look on their faces; Natasha, Wanda, Tony and Steve had an annoyed expression on their faces.
“What? No? Is it not good? No? Well then not good for her?” Scott tried to change what he had said.
Peter couldn’t help himself and he laughed at Scott.
“I just thought that maybe, every young person had the fantas-”
“Please stop, just, stop” Said Wanda with a frown on her face.
Tony took off his glasses and he brought his free hand to rub his face a little.
“Alright, alright I’m sorry” Lang said while lifting his hands in the air.
“I don’t really think that y/n’s been dating Mrs. Dottie” Peter suddenly said to the others, his hand on his chin as he seemed to be thinking about that possibility.
“Why do you think that Peter?” Wanda and Natasha rushed to ask, they were really concerned about you, they just didn’t want that someone would play with you, they really loved you and if someone broke your heart Natasha and Wanda would make sure that person never forget what they did to you.
“I just don’t think y/n is into her, she always declines Mrs. Dottie apologetically and never stays too long talking to her”
“What if y/n does that so that no one in her class suspects about what is going on between them, what if it is just an alibi to make everyone believe they don’t have something going on between them?” Scott nodded and looked at everyone with a smirk.
“I think you watch too much TV Lang” Tony said shaking his hand
“Maybe you’re right” Scot said with a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Alright, alright, what can we do now? y/n’s not going to tell us who’s this person she’s been seeing” Steve said while he put both of his arms on the table.
“We need to do something to know who she’s dating, we don’t know nothing about this person, what if this girl just wants to take advantage of her? What if she’s evil and wants to manipulate y/n? There are many possibilities, what if it’s an infiltrated of Hydra? We have to keep y/n safe” Steve was serious, everyone could see his expression, when it came to you, everything was important for everyone, you were important for them, you were the youngest one and you were part of their family.
“That’s what we’ve been saying Steve, but she even blocks her mind when Wanda’s around” Natasha placed her hand on Wanda’s knee.
“What if we follow to one of her dates, like an undercover operation” Scott shrugged and he raised his eyebrows, everyone in the room lifted ther heads to look at him with a shocked expression on their faces.
“What? No? I just thought that maybe-”
“That’s actually an amazing idea” Steve agreed with him and Scott couldn’t hide his excitement that the Captain America had liked his idea.
“He’s right, we can follow her the next time she goes out again, but we have to plan everything, we can start now that she´s not here, Scott, we will need your help in this, would you like to help?” Natasha looked straight into his eyes waiting for an answer.
“You scare me a lot, but I´m on it, this is so exciting, I want to know who y/n´s secret date is, is like trying to guess who´s your secret Santa, but with someone else´s relationship” Scott started to talk his excitement was visible.
“Yes right? I want to be part of this too” Peter told while looking at Tony
“I´m not sure, can you keep the secret?” Tony asked him with a serious look on his face
“I promise Mr. Stark I won´t say a thing about spying on y/n´s date, maybe we can put a name to this mission like-“
“Operation little widow? Little witch?” Scott interrupted and Peter´s eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows.
“What about operation Little Widow-witch?”  Peter asked with a grin on his face.
“That sounds amazing, now that we have a name for this operation, we can start planning this” Lang leant on the table and he placed his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands.
“Alright but why did you name this Operation Little Widow-witch?” Natasha inquired and Wanda squinted her eyes to look at him with a curious expression.
“Isn´t it obvious? You treat Y/n like she´s your daughter, she´s always wandering around you two as if she was your daughter, also she has powers similar to Wanda´s, the only difference is that she still can´t read minds, also Nat you have trained her a lot, she knows everything about combat thanks to you, you´re like her daughter” Scott said as a matter of fact while shrugging, it was obvious for him.
Nat and Wanda smiled at each other when they heard this, he was right, the three of you acted like that, when they rescued you from Hydra agents  when you were just thirteen, they got attached to you and you to them, you loved everyone, of course everyone was your family but you felt really attached to the two of them, Wanda and Nat had taken you under their wing, Wanda helped you to control your powers, you had improved a lot, but still there was a part of you that refused to read other people´s mind, you weren’t sure why you couldn’t do it, but Wanda was sure it was something deep inside you that wasn’t letting you, but she knew that with time and with her help and the help of her girlfriend Nat, you were going to be able to do it.
When Natasha saw you for the first time you looked so scared, they had experimented on you and they had treated you like you were nothing, you had trust issues and you were so scared to even look at them that it broke Natasha´s heart, she just wanted to protect you just like Wanda, when you used to have nightmares, and still from time to time you had them, but at the start you used to suffer alone, you didn’t let anyone near you, Natasha and Wanda tried to get closer to you, they wanted to help you, but you didn’t let them, until one day, when you had a nightmare and they were surprised when you knocked on their door and you told them how you felt, of course they let you in, and since that day you knew you were safe with them, you really loved them, they were your home.
Natasha and Wanda felt a little heartbroken because you used to tell them everything, you even told them when you started to like someone and you were not sure what to do, the two of them always tried to help you and they always supported you, they would never judge you and you knew that, and they couldn’t help but feel conflicted, they just wanted to make sure no one would hurt you.
“Alright let plan this, I just, I don´t want that she ends up hurt again” Wanda said and Natasha took her hand on hers, she caressed the back of her girlfriend´s hand with her thumb.
“We will make sure she doesn’t get hurt Wands” Natasha said to her with a loving look on her face
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
You entered to the nice and beautiful coffee shop, you had to take a taxi to arrive faster, it was already late and you didn’t want to take more time by taking the bus.
Entering to the cozy place you saw your girlfriend sitting in one of the chairs that was behind a table next to the window, you quickly came to her and when she saw you Agatha´s face lit up.
“I´m sorry I´m this late, Nat, Wanda and Tony kept interrogating me about who I was coming to see” You said to your girlfriend with an apologetically look on your face, Agatha stood up from the chair to hug you and you hugged her back, she smelled your perfume and she loved it, you felt Agatha´s hand stroking your hair in a soft way, when you separated from her a little Agatha placed both of her hands on your waist and you gave her a soft peck on her lips, your hands were on her shoulders, you really loved her so much.
“It´s alright doll, you do not have to worry” Agatha reassured you and she took your hand to guide you to your seat; she pulled the chair out for you to sit and you smiled, Agatha was really attentive to you and you loved it, you sat in the chair and Agatha went to her seat in front of you, Agatha took your hand in hers and she started to caress the back of your hand with her thumb, you felt so happy with her, you really wished you could tell everyone you were her girlfriend, but you knew how everyone in the team was going to react, and you knew how Nat and Wanda would react, they would be so angry and you didn’t want that, you were conflicted on what do.
“What´s wrong doll?” You were distracted by her question and you saw the concerned look on her face, the moment you see her worried look you felt like crying.
“It´s alright my love, it´s alright” Agatha stood up from her seat and she came next to you, you moved a little to the right so that she could sit next to you, you felt her arm hugging you by your waist and she pulled you closer to her, she rested her free hand on your face and you instantly leant into her, you hid your face into the crook of her neck and you let the tears roll down your eyes, you couldn’t hold them anymore.
“It´s just that I don´t want to hide what we have, and I don´t want to keep lying to Nat and Wanda, and the others, I feel so bad for hiding, but, I don´t know what else to do, I know how they´re going to react if they know about us, and I don´t want to lose you” You sobbed into her neck and Agatha rubbed your back with her hand.
“I know doll, I know how you feel and you don´t know how much it hurts me to see you like this, this is my fault, for what I did in my past now you´re suffering, I don´t want to lose you either, you´re the best that happened to me, I just want you to be with me and I know that if your family finds out that you´re with me, they will be really mad, but sweetheart I don´t mind hiding with you, I love you and that won´t change, and the fact that we have to hide doesn’t bother me, you´re everything I need, I just wish I could make you feel better, I want to make you happy” You were really in love with her, you had fallen for her, but how couldn’t you? She was so sweet and kind to you, she always treated you with so much love and you loved it, you loved her. Agatha brought her hand to your face and she wiped your tears away.
“It´s not your fault, also you´ve changed, you´re not the same you used to be, I want to tell them, to tell them that you´ve changed, and that you make me really happy but” You paused thinking about your next words, the soft touch of Agatha on your face helped you to calm yourself, her touch was soothing.
“But you know they´re not going to believe you” Agatha finished your sentence in soft-spoken way and you nodded against her shoulder, she was right, you were sure they were not going to believe you and they were not going to trust you.
You sighed and moved yourself way from her a little to look at her face, she had a sad look on her face and you didn’t like it, you knew she felt guilty because of what she had done, but she wasn´t that person anymore, it was not her fault, in the past everybody was afraid of her and people had isolated her, she just wanted power because it was what it made her feel she was in control of everything, she was hurt and you knew now she regretted everything she had done, but she wasn’t that person anymore, and you knew she would never hurt you or your family, you completely love her, and you really didn’t want to lose what you two had, you were so in love with Agatha.
“I love you so much, and I wished everyone could see that you’re not the same person you used to be, you´re so much more than your past” Agatha smiled at you, she loved you so much, you were her entire life, you were her light, and the most important thing is that you saw her for who she really was, you didn’t care about her past mistakes, you understood her in a whole different way that no one had done it before, you were so amazing and you didn’t care for what she had done, Agatha knew you loved her no matter what, Agatha didn’t want to lose you.
“You don´t know how much I love you y/n, you mean the world to me, if hiding means that we get to keep our relationship, I will hide with you, no matter what my love, I love you so much” You felt so loved, she made you really happy, you just wanted this to last forever, she took your face in her hands and she pressed a kiss to your lips, it was a soft kiss, her lips moved against yours, her skin was so soft and you could smell her perfume all over her, it was a mix of vanilla and a cinnamon scent, you loved it, her breath was hot and you felt it against your skin, her hands romanced through your lower back until finally she placed them on your waist.
When you broke the kiss due to the lack of air, you smiled at her and she could see the loving expression on her eyes, her eyes were beaming with joy and you were sure yours too.
“Do you want to order now? I know we have little time to spend together, but I love having these dates with you, this coffee is so amazing, I´m so glad you took me here on our first date, is my favorite place now” You said to her while you caressed the skin of her neck.
“I love these dates too doll, I love the time we spend together, it doesn’t matter if we just get to spend little time, I enjoy it and I treasure every moment I pass with you, let´s order my love” Agatha said while she softly stroked your head with her right hand, you nodded and she pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
The evening passed with you and Agatha sharing the slices of cake you had ordered, she had ordered a slice of cheesecake and you ordered your favorite one, between laughs and stories about your day and questions of what the other had done in the two days you didn’t see each other, you passed hours there.
“You want some more baby girl?” Agatha asked you pointing to her coffee on the table, you nodded and you took the mug and took a sip, it was really good, you loved that you and her shared what you ordered, it was something that you enjoyed doing with her, it reminded you that the little actions showed how much you loved each other.
A beeping sound distracted you from the special moment and you felt sad, it was your alarm what had sounded, you took your phone out and you saw the hour on the screen of your phone, it was 6:00 pm already, the three hours passed so quickly.
“It feels like we just passed one hour and a half together” You said with a sad look on your face.
“I know baby girl, it´s not enough but we can meet again whenever you want, you know that and we can keep texting or making phone calls, I love your voice, so I prefer phone calls” She reassured you, she was right, you could keep meeting in the next days, just like you´ve been doing for the past months.
“It´s pretty late doll, I will take you to your home” She asked for the bill to the waitress and then she gave the money to the young woman.
“But what if they see us?” You asked with a worried look on your face, you weren´t sure if they will be waiting for you or looking through the large windows waiting for the exact moment when you arrived.
“They won´t and I won´t let that you go alone at this hour, I don´t want anything to happen to you” Agatha saw you were going to argue back but she softly pressed a finger on your lips.
“I know that you can perfectly defend yourself baby girl, but I will feel better if I´m the one who takes you home, alright?” You smiled and you just nodded, you really loved her so much.
Agatha stood from her sit and she stretched her hand out for you to take it, you happily took her hand and you walked outside the coffee shop, she guided you to where she had parked her car and then she opened the door for you to enter.
“Thank you so much” You said to her while she held the door open for you and your girlfriend waited until you were sitting inside to close the door.
“Put the seatbelt on doll” You quickly nodded and you did what she told you to do, Agatha did the same and she smiled at you.
You wished the car ride would have been longer, but sadly it lasted just fifteen minutes, Agatha parked the car some blocks behind your home, the same spot she had parked last Monday, Agatha sighed and she turned her head to look at you, she took your hand in hers and you smiled at her.
“I will see you in two days alright?” Agatha asked you and you nodded.
“Can we meet again at the same coffee shop? I want to try the lemon cheesecake this time” Agatha giggled and she nodded
“Alright doll, at the same coffee shop I´ll see you, the same hour?” She asked you never dropping your hand.
“Yes, at the same hour” You smiled and gave her a last kiss, you didn’t want the kiss to end but you had to go, breaking the kiss you gave a last squeeze to Agatha´s hand and with that you opened the car door to get out of it, you waved your hand at her and gave her one last smile, you started to walk to your home and Agatha stayed there watching you, she didn’t leave until she was sure you had entered to the building, when she saw you had already entered she finally left, she was waiting to meet you again in two days.
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 "Mr. Stark, Miss y/n has entered the building” Friday announced
“She has arrived! She will be entering at any moment” Yelled Peter while he started to panic, he took some papers in his hands from the table and he put them inside his backpack.
“Alright, alright everyone, act as if we weren’t planning something, I will go to the couch, someone turn the tv on!” Scott said while he went to throw himself in the couch, Peter ran after him and he did the same, he threw himself in the other couch and he turned the big tv on.
Wanda and Natasha just looked at each other with and amused expression on their faces, they clearly didn’t know how to hide something.
Tony just rolled his eyes and Steve shook his head; they just hoped you didn’t notice anything.
Steve walked to the fridge to take a bottle of cold water while Wanda and Natasha walked towards the living room and they sat side by side, Natasha passed her arm around Wanda’s shoulders and Wanda rested her head on Nat’s chest.
Peter put on a movie and they started to watch what played on the screen; They heard the door of the lift being opened letting them know that you had arrived.
You slowly walked out of the lift and you went to the kitchen to grab something to drink.
“I’m back” You announced a little shy, you hoped they wouldn’t bring the Agnes topic again.
“Oh, hey y/n we didn’t see you had just come” Peter’s voice came out a little too loud, you chuckled and didn’t mind him.
Steve was on the kitchen drinking some coffee and you went to the fridge to take a bottle of cold water.
���There’s still hot coffee in there if you want some kid” He told you pointing to the coffee machine
“Oh no thank you, I think had too much coffee” You said to him while you took out one bottle out from the fridge.
“Oh really? What type of coffee did you have?” Steve asked nonchalantly before taking a big sip of his coffee.
On the other side of the table was Tony reading a magazine acting as if he wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying.
“I had a cappuccino” You calmly answered before drinking some of your water.
“Great, cappuccinos are really great” Steve commented and you smiled at him, he was right.
“What are you watching?” You asked when you arrived at the living room.
“Oh, hi Scott, I didn’t know you were here” You smiled at the man when you noticed he was sitting in one of the couches.
“Hey y/n, I came here over an hour ago, but I think it will be better if I go now, Hope won’t like if I don’t arrive early, so, it would be better if I just leave, I can come back another day” He quickly stood from his place at the couch and you nodded at him.
“Bye Scott, say Hi to Hope and Cassie for me, would you?”
“Sure, maybe next time they’ll come with me, they miss you” You felt your heart melting at that, Hope’s a really cool and badass person, you really liked talking to her about different types of technology and Cassie always made you laugh with her jokes, she was so much like his father, the three of them were a really nice family.
“I miss them too” You answered and Scott smiled back at you, he said his good-byes at everyone after leaving.
“Do you want to sit here y/n?” Natasha asked you while patting the empty spot on the couch next to her.
“Of course” You nodded and she smiled at you, Natasha missed passing time with you, lately you were busy with homework and now you used to go out many times a week, she was proud of you, of the confident person you had grown to be, but she still missed to comfort you when you had a nightmare, Wanda felt the same, she missed you as well, she was happy that you felt good enough to hang out, but she missed when you would ask them if they wanted to go with you to buy something, they were really happy for you, but at the same time they were worried, they didn´t want that someone hurt you.
Natasha remembered that time of that girl that used to date you, that awful girl who just invited you out because she had wanted to know the black widow, she was obsessed with her and that girl had hurt you, it had broken her heart the look on your face when you told her she had just asked you out to see if you she could get near Natasha, you had cried for days.
Wanda read her girlfriend´s thoughts and she gave Nat a knowing look she used her powers to say to Natasha that they would do everything they could to protect you, Nat heard this in her mind and she nodded, you took sit next to Nat and she placed her arm around your shoulders, you rested your head on her shoulder, you missed passing time with them so this was recomforting, you really loved your family.
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Today was Sunday, two days after you had gone out and Wanda noticed you were preparing your backpack on your room, so she assumed you were going to go out again, she quickly told Natasha this and Natasha said to Tony that you were going out again, he quickly called Scott.
“Scott, Operation Little Widow-witch will take place today, can you come here now?” Asked Tony on the phone, he nodded and then he hung up.
“What did he say?” Natasha eagerly asked.
“He´s coming, we need to do something before y/n´s leaves the tower, where is she?” Tony asked with wide eyes, he just hoped you hadn’t left yet.
“Mr. Stark, y/n just entered to the lift” Peter said in a hurry
“Alright, alright I will make the engines stop, this can give us some time until Scott arrives”
Suddenly they heard a buzzing sound and then Scott appear out of thin air in front them.
“Wow, those flying ants are really fast” Scott was in his usual Ant-man suit
"Alright Scott so, you have everything you need?” Tony eyed him while he asked him
“Yes, I have the camera here, Hope did a great job with this, she also told me to give you this, with this thing you will be able to see what I’m seeing, and to hear what I’m hearing” Lang handed them a small screen and a mic
“The mic is for you to talk to me; I will be able to hear you” His excitement was visible.
“We will be watching everything from here, good luck Scott, and thank you�� Wanda told him and he nodded
“She’s waiting inside the lift, go Scott” Tony said to him and Lang nodded again, he made himself small again, he called the flying ant back to take him to you, and when he was closer enough the lift, he jumped off the ant and entered to the lift through the gap under the metal door.
He saw you there standing in the middle of it waiting for the lift to start working again, he used one of his hooks to clip himself to your backpack, step one had been a success.
Meanwhile Natasha, Wanda, Tony and Steve were watching everything on the Screen they had, they weren’t waiting for anything to happen until the hear a ring, the recognized it was your phone, they couldn’t watch at all since Scott was hanging on your backpack, but they knew someone had called you, but they were eager to know what you´ll say.
“Hi! Yes, I´m already in the lift, so I will be arriving there in Fifteen minutes, yes, I will walk safely, love you too, see you there”
Everyone was shocked, have you told this person you loved them? They were right that you were not seeing just a friend.
You left the building and you walked through the streets, after minutes of walking you finally arrived at the coffee shop, there you saw Agatha’s car and walked past it, Scott who was hanging on your backpack, his camera on his suit focused a black car.
“That´s the car Bucky and I saw y/n stepping out of it last Monday” Steve commented while looking at the same car that had brought you days ago, Natasha would have liked to see the vehicle´s license plate number, but you walked closer and Scott was trying not to fall to the ground.
You walked faster and Scott didn’t get the time to hold your backpack stronger so he fell to the floor, the time he hit the floor he heard the sound glass breaking, that´s when he knew the camera had broken down.
“Scott, Scott we lost the image, are you alright?” Natasha quickly said to him into the microphone
“I know sorry about that and yes I´m alright, the fall wasn’t that bad” They heard the tiny man grunting
“Now Scott you will be our eyes and ears, tell us what you see” Steve told him after some minutes
"Got it captain” Scott replied  
He quickly got up from the floor and he ran down towards some stairs that led to the coffee shop, he entered to the coffee shop through the gap under the floor.
“Alright so she entered to this Coffee Shop called Westview, that’s a cool name, wow guys it’s really cool here, the lamps are so pretty, it reminds me of that places that  are announced in magazines where you can come here when you don’t want nobody to find you, this place is kind of hidden in the street, there were stairs to arrive here, guys oh my god, look at how many flowers are here, I hope there are no bees, wait I’ve never ridden a bee, change of plans I do Hope there are bees here”
Natasha rubbed her hands against her face and Wanda softly rubbed her arm trying to calm her down a little.
“Scott, please focus” Said Natasha and Steve at the same time
“Yes, sorry”
“Do you see y/n anywhere?”  Wanda asked into the mic.
“No guys, I can’t see anything from this- Wait, I’m seeing her right now, she’s hugging someone, but I can’t see well, I’ll have to go there wait” Scott started to run right towards the table you were in.
“I’m tired guys, this is too much” Said Scott out of breath from running.
“Alright guys, I’m here, I’ll have to climb up the sit, this is too exciting, Guys I bet 50 dollars that’s her professor” Scott said
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
“I’m really sorry, the lift stopped working for some minutes and I had to wait until it worked again, sorry for making you wait" You said to Agatha with a worried look on your face
“It’s alright doll, I’m glad you made it here, how’s everything at home?” She asked you while holding your hands
“Doll?” Scott muttered to himself, of course everyone who was in the compound listened what he said.
“Doll?” Everyone in the tower repeated, Natasha frowned and looked at Wanda, Steve, Tony and Peter exchanged confused stares.
“Scott what’s going on?” Wanda rushed to ask him
“Well, for what I heard, this woman calls y/n doll, and she asked her about how things are at home”
“Definitely that’s not Mrs. Dottie, she doesn’t call y/n like that” Commented Peter who was now more curious about this woman
“So, what exactly could have y/n told her about things here at home? That means that she Talks about us, right?” Wondered Tony while he put his hand to his chin.
“Guys shut up for a moment, there’s a lot of voices, I can’t hear what they’re talking about, I will climb up the table, to have a better look, wait” He told them while he tried to go up the table.
“Things are fine, Peter is staying for some days at the tower and it’s pretty cool, I like showing him many different new songs I discover,  Wanda and Nat are alright too, we watched a movie the other day, I really love them, and I’m glad they haven’t asked anything about you, you know  about where I go out, I really don’t like when I lie to them, it makes me feel bad, last time I told them I was going to meet 'Agnes’” You giggled a little remembering the name you had given.
“Agnes?” Agatha laughed at that.
“Yes, you known it’s sort of your name and your last name combined, kind of, I didn’t come up with something else, I panicked” you laughed at that
“It’s alright baby girl, that was smart, I’m glad they haven’t asked anything else” She said to you with a soft smile on her face.
Scott was hiding under the table in a crack on the wooden table with a shocked expression on his face and his hand was covering his mouth.
“Guys, you won’t believe this, the name 'Agnes’ she told you isn’t a real name” He said with wide eyes
“Oh my god, I knew it!” said Natasha closing her eyes
“Scott, quickly you need to see who’s there with y/n” Wanda said into the microphone.
“Yes, yes, I’m on that wait a little” Scott started to walk through the metal bars of the table ready to jump onto the table,
"Are you alright doll? You know you can tell me everything” She brought one of your hands to her lips and she kissed the back of it.
“I know, it’s just that I really love spending time with you and just like the other day I told you, I feel awful about, I feel awful that we have to hide, I really wish you could come with me to the tower,  I want that they get to know the real you, I want to be able to tell Nat and Wanda how much you make me happy, I want to tell ask them many things about a relationship I want to, but I know I can’t” You said closing your eyes
“It’s alright baby girl, I understand everything, You don’t have to feel guilty, I know that they’re not going to take this well, and I can’t blame them, After what I did, it’s understandable they wouldn’t trust me, and yes I don’t like at all that I have to hide your my girlfriend, I love you so much and I would love to take you to many different places, I would love to do many things with you, but I know we can’t, and if that means-”
“If that means we can keep seeing each other it’s alright” You finished her sentence
After listening that Scott felt a little guilty for spying on you, but this was not the time to back off, he thought, he had a mission to accomplish; Scott arrived at the top of the table and his sight was being covered by a mug.
“Oh, c'mon” Said Scott lifting his hands in the air.
“What’s going?” Tony tasked him.
“There was a mug covering the sight, but now I’m able to-”
Scott gasped and everyone there started to panic, have you noticed him? What if you have noticed this.
“Scott what’s going on?” Steve asked with a worried tone.
“Lang? Lang? Are you there?” Natasha asked taking the mic into her hands
“Mr. Lang?* Asked Peter coming next to Natasha.
"Scott what the hell happened?” Tony came rushing to Peter’s side
“Scott this is not the time for games, this is important” Wanda quickly came next to Natasha’s side.
“SHHHHHH! Everybody shut up” Scott hissed after some seconds and everyone felt silent, it felt like hours but it had just happened two minutes
“Promise, you won’t freak out” He asked them into his microphone.
“What is it Lang” Wanda’s accent was thick; she was clearly annoyed.
“Guys you have to promise you won’t freak out” The tiny man asked again, Natasha was clearly annoyed and she was about to say something back to him, but Peter took the mic from her hands.
“I’m sorry Miss Romanoff” Peter whispered
“We promise we won’t freak out" Said Peter to Scott
“Alright, alright, here we go” Scott took a deep breath and he blinked several times
“You remember that witch who tried to take Wanda’s powers three years ago?”
Scott had to take the earphone out of his ear because a sharp sound hit him, it was too loud as if something had shattered against the floor, when he put it back into his ear, he didn’t hear anything for minutes, everything was silent.
“Um, guys? Hello? Did my microphone break? What’s wrong with this thing?” He decided to sat at in the plate under the mug, and he started to check his Equipment.
A loud crash made you jump a little in your seat.
“y/n!?” You knew that voice, you knew very well that voice, your eyes went wide open, Natasha’s voice was clearly worried but you were sure she was really mad as well.
How did they find you? This was wrong, this was what you tried to avoid for the past months, this was all wrong, you knew they would come for Agatha so you quickly stood up from your seat and placed yourself next to Agatha.
You saw a really angry Natasha with her black suit on, Wanda was clearly mad too, her eyes and hands were glowing red, Steve was on his Captain America suit just as well as Tony was in his Iron man suit, they were all coming towards the two of you.
“Y/n, come here, stay away from her” Wanda told you when she was close enough to you, her accent was really strong, you knew she was really, really mad, her eyes glowing red and Natasha was next to her with her hand on her hip, she was ready to take her gun out at any moment.
“No” You firmly said but, on the inside, you were shaking, you were terrified, you didn’t want them to hurt Agatha.
“What do you mean no?” Natasha frowned, oh she looked so annoyed.
“It means I’m staying here with her” You said with a lot of courage
“It’s alright doll you don’t need to-”
“Don’t ever call her like that again!” You heard Wanda saying to her
“Don’t hurt her, she’s done nothing wrong” You quickly said back to Wanda
“She’s evil, don’t you know what she did years ago?” Natasha argued and her hands squeezed into fists.
“She has changed! She’s not like that anymore” You huffed, running your hand through your hair.
“She’s manipulating you, I bet she just wants your powers” Wanda raised her chin
“That´s not true! I really love y/n” Said Agatha standing from her sit, she was not going to sit there just listening to them doubting her love for you.
“That’s not true!” Said Natasha coming closer to you, you were afraid of what could happen, you didn’t want Agatha and them getting into a fight.
“She tried to steal my powers, how are we not sure she wants to do the same to you y/n?” Wanda asked coming closer too.
“That was different, back at that time you didn’t even know how to control your powers, I just suggested you to give them to me, a more experienced witch” Agatha said back
“Agatha that´s not helping!” You yelled at her, you couldn’t believe it what she had just said, it was definitely not the right moment for that talk.
“I´m sorry, I´m sorry, but she´s right I´m not the same I used to be, I´ve changed and I truly love y/n, I would never do anything to hurt her” Agatha took your hand in hers giving it a soft squeeze.
“We can´t trust you” Steve grunted.
“They´re right, we can´t really trust you, so you better back off” Tony snapped while walking closer.
“How did you even find me?” You questioned them and, in that moment, Scott appeared out of nowhere in the sit in front of you.
“Scott? You followed me?” You didn’t believe it
“I´m sorry y/n” He said with a shy smile, and you saw in his hands were some earbuds, you were sure it was an intercom.
“Were you spying on me?” You felt betrayed, they have been overhearing everything.
“We did it because we wanted to be sure who you were seeing, we just don´t want that you get your heart broken!” Natasha said to you
“I think It would have been better if you had been seeing your English teacher and not her” You heard Ant-man saying pointing at your girlfriend.
“Mrs. Dottie?” You asked with a frown, why was he talking about her, more like, how did he know your English teacher.
“What is he talking about sweetheart?” Agatha asked you and she was about to put her hand on your shoulder.
“Don´t you dare touch her, I won´t say it again Agatha, back off” Wanda said her hands up in the air, you didn’t want them to fight.
“Agatha, it would be better If you leave, I´m really sorry about this, I didn’t want this to happen, but I don’t want that all of you get into a fight, please, I don´t want things to get worse, I love you”
You whispered to her, Agatha didn’t want to leave you alone, but you were right, If she stayed for now, things could get really messy.
“Alright love, you know I´ll never lose you, I will fight for you, don´t forget that I love you” You had wanted to kiss her, but you decided it wouldn’t be a good idea, you nodded and with a flick of her hand she disappeared into purple smoke.
Wanda and Natasha were glaring at you, Tony and Steve were had disappointed look on their faces and Scott, well he was sitting there eating some of the cookies on the white plate.
“I- I will see you back at the tower” You moved your hand and you disappeared.
You appeared back at the tower and you quickly took your phone out of your pocket to dial Agatha´s number.
“-Agatha, I´m so sorry, I- I didn’t know they were following us, I don´t know what they will do, I´m sure they will tell me to stop seeing you, but I don´t want that, I love you and-“
-It´s alright baby girl, try to calm down a little so you can talk to them, you do not have to worry, as I told you, I will fight for you, I love you y/n- You heard noises outside the room and you knew they had arrived.
-They´re here I have to hang up, but I love you too- You quickly hung up and you heard a rushed knock on your door.
"Y/n can you come here please? We’re worried” You heard Natasha’s voice behind your door.
You weren’t sure if you should open the door or not, but after minutes of thinking you decided to open the door; You did it slowly and when you fully opened the door, only Natasha and Wanda came into your room, the others waited in the living room.
You went to your bed to sat down and Natasha and Wanda sat by your sides, the three of you sat there in complete silence, Wanda was looking at the floor, Natasha was looking at you and you just simply stared at your fingers.
“She’s evil” Wanda suddenly said after minutes of complete silence
“That’s not true, she’s changed” You quickly said back at her, turning your head to face her.
“How are you so sure?” Wanda asked with an angry look on her face, her frustration kicked in.
“Because I know her, she’s changed, Agatha’s not the same she used to be” You said with tears in your eyes.
“I don’t trust her” Wanda said again
“I know, but you have to trust me, she’s different” You were almost pleading at this point, you looked at her right into her eyes and you could see the anger in her eyes.
“Where did you meet her?” Asked Natasha after some minutes of silence
“I met her at a bookstore, I kept coming back to the same bookstore and I always found her there, we hit it off and well, we started to see each other as friends at first, as I wasn’t sure, but I really felt drawn to her” You smiled at the memory of the first time you met her.
 "She’s Centuries older than you" Wanda hissed and this time you didn’t know what to say to her.
“You can’t keep seeing her” Wanda told you with a harsh tone, and you freaked out.
“What!? You can’t tell me who I can and I cannot see!” You rushed to say while you stood up from your bed and glared at Wanda.
“I can, because I know this is the best for you, she’s evil” You were going to say something but Natasha was faster
“Wanda’s right, this is the best for you, we can’t trust her” You had tears falling down your eyes and you wiped them away with your sleeve, you couldn’t believe this.
“This is not fair, I’m an adult, I can decide who I want to date” You were moving your hands in the air.
“You may be an adult but you clearly don’t know how to even take care of yourself, this is not up for you to decide, you can be in danger, you could have put us in danger y/n” Wanda said almost yelling.
“So, this is about you? What about me? She’s not the same, how many times do I have to tell you? She’s-
"Enough! We just want to keep you safe! Can’t you see that? She’s not good for you! What if she’s manipulating you? Your powers are really strong and you don’t know what you’re capable of, what if she’s just taking this chance to take them away from you?” Wanda had never yelled at you, you were sure Agatha wouldn’t do that, why couldn’t they just see that?
“This stays with me” Said Wanda and you frowned you didn’t understand her until she moved her hand and your phone appeared in her hand.
“Give it back to me, that’s mine” You came closer to her but Wanda used her powers to stop you.
“No, you will keep talking to her, and I won’t let that happen” Wanda argued
“This is not fair” You heart was breaking
“No, what’s not fair is that you put yourself in danger and you also could’ve put ourselves on danger” Wanda said with a really angry look, you looked at Natasha and she just shrugged.
“I’m sorry y/n but Wanda’s right“ Natasha looked apologetically.
"I will drive you to college and I will pick you up” Wanda said to you and they stood up from your bed to walk outside your bedroom.
Natasha hated to see you like this, with a heartbroken expression, they had never discussed with you and that mortified her.
“Wanda, don’t you think that was a little harsh, she was really upset” Said Natasha with a worried expression on her face
“I know it was harsh, but we don’t know Agatha’s real intentions, I don’t want her near y/n, I feel awful for speaking to y/n like this but, I really don’t want her to end up hurt, what if Agatha kidnaps her or something! I wouldn’t forgive myself if something like that happens Nat” Wanda hugged Natasha and the shorter woman rest her head on her chest.
“I don’t want that something happens to y/n I love her just like you, and I want to protect her too, but I just can’t stand seeing her like this, I wanted to hug her” Tears started to fall down Nat’s cheeks and Wanda quickly wiped them away.
“I know, I feel really awful but, I really want to protect her from her, I want to hug her too but, we can do it later alright? She can’t be mad at us forever.”
You couldn’t believe it! They had taken your phone with them, how were you supposed to talk to your girlfriend?  You were frustrated, you were angry, but you felt sad too, they hadn’t been fair to you or to Agatha but you understood why they weren’t keen on her, but why couldn’t they trust you? You needed a hug and you felt angrier because you wanted Agatha, Nat or Wanda to hug you, the first one you couldn’t hug her for obvious reasons, and the other two, you were angry at them, you just threw yourself in your bed and covered yourself with your blankets
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
"It’s been six days; six days and she hasn’t talked to us Wanda!” Natasha had picked you up from college and all the ride back to the tower you didn’t talk to her, you just looked through the window.
“I know Nat, but what else can we do? She hasn’t talked to me yet; I’ve been trying to talk to her all week and she ignores me too”
“She hasn’t talked to me either” Commented Steve entering the kitchen, he was worried about you just like everyone else.
“I tried to approach her two days ago and she just stared at me with a blank expression and then just she left” Tony said with a drink in his hand.
“Also Peter told me that she doesn’t even talk at all during lectures anymore, he told me that Mrs. Dottie asked him if there was something going on with her” Tony said again, Natasha and Wanda were concerned, they weren’t expecting this, but what scared them the most was that you looked paler each day and you looked as if you hadn’t sleep at all.
“We have to fix this; I know is my fault but-” Wanda was cut off by someone
“Is not only your fault, we all agreed on this” Said Steve, but Wanda couldn’t help but blame herself.
“It’s alright, we will fix this” Natasha said while caressing her cheek with her hand.
 Wanda felt something vibrating in her pocket and she took your phone out of it, she saw a new message out of 50 messages and 45 missed calls, Wanda was surprised to see that.
“Agatha keeps sending messages to y/n and she keeps calling” She said putting the phone on the table.
“Let me see” Natasha took the phone in her hands and she quickly unlocked it, without the fingerprint.
“How did you do that?” Steve was astonished when he saw how Nat unlocked your phone without using the password or a fingerprint.
“Basic hacking skills” Natasha quickly answered and Tony smirked at Steve’s shocked face.
“You wouldn’t get it” Tony said to Steve and Wanda and Nat giggled at his comment.
“What does the messages say?” Steve was curious at what could Agatha send you.
“Well, there’s a lot of 'How are you feeling?’ 'Are you alright doll?” 'Why aren’t you answering the phone? I’m really worried about you’ “ Natasha told them and she felt bad, what if Agatha was really concerned about you?
"What if she’s really not bad anymore?” Bruce asked while leaning against the doorframe, he really saw how much you had been affected for what had happened, every one of the others noticed how much you’ve changed, the others were really worried, you didn’t go to the lab to ask Bruce things about science or have a really nice conversation about theories, you hadn’t gone to the library to pick books to recommend to Bucky anymore and the two of them decided to ask Natasha and Wanda what was going on with you since the two women were the ones who you were always with, so Wanda and Nat explained to them what had happened days ago.
Wanda didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t see you like this, but she also didn’t want to trust Agatha.
They stayed there thinking on what to do until Scott arrived one hour later, he seemed to be in a rush, because when the doors of the lift opened, he quickly came looking for them.
“Guys, guys I had to run to arrive faster here, Hope took the suit away and she hid it, but that’s not important here, I came here because I remembered that my intercom recorded everything” He said out breath
Scott took the device out of his jacket and he pressed play, they didn’t make any type of sound, and payed attention to the recording.
“Are you alright doll? You know you can tell me everything” That was clearly Agatha’s voice.
“ I know, it’s just that I really love spending time with you and just like the other day I told you, I feel awful about, I feel awful that we have to hide, I really wish you could come with me to the tower,  I want that they get to know the real you, I want to be able to tell Nat and Wanda how much you make me happy, I want to tell ask them many things about a relationship I want to, but I know I can’t” Nat had to wipe some tears that had fallen down her eyes when she heard your voice.
“It’s alright baby girl, I understand everything, You don’t have to feel guilty, I know that they’re not going to take this well, and I can’t blame them, After what I did, it’s understandable they wouldn’t trust me, and yes I don’t like at all that I have to hide your my girlfriend, I love you so much and I would love to take you to many different places, I would love to do many things with you, but I know we can’t, and if that means-”
“If that means we can keep seeing each other it’s alright” When Wanda heard you had finished her sentence, she remembered every time she had done the same with Nat.
“We will fix this, Tony can you drive y/n tomorrow morning?” Natasha asked with a serious look on her face
“Sure, no problem” He answered
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
The next day when Tony drove you to school, you still felt hurt, you really had wanted to say goodbye to Wanda and Nat, and everyone else but in the end you didn’t, you still felt betrayed.
“Alright, are you ready?” Natasha asked Wanda who was holding your phone in her hand, Wanda nodded and she called Agatha from your phone.
“Hello Agatha, listen, can you come to the tower? We would like to talk to you about y/n”
Natasha looked expectant to her when she ended the call.
“What did she say?” Natasha eagerly asked while she took Wanda softly by her shoulders.
“She said she will be coming in thirty minutes”
“Alright" 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
Agatha was worried, these six days without being able to talk to you had been pure torture to her, she had wanted to hold you so much and reassure you that everything would be alright, she even went to your college to wait for you when your classes were over, she had been excited when she saw you walking outside the building but her hopes were crushed down when she saw a car parking in front of you, she recognized Wanda inside of it and she knew, she couldn’t get closer, she really wanted to but you were under constant surveillance.
But now that she had received Wanda’s call she didn’t think twice, she quickly agreed to meet her at the tower, maybe she could talk to them and convince them that she really loved you
Agatha walked out of the lift and was greeted by many pair of eyes on her.
She walked to the living room where everybody was sitting in the couches, Agatha knew the name of everyone because you used to talk about them a lot and she was happy that you trusted her enough to share a lot of things with her.
Wanda was frowning and beside her was Natasha with a serious look on her face, Tony was sitting in the other couch with a drink in his hand, the man who rarely smile, your words not hers, was Bucky if she recalled correctly, Steve was sitting next to the soldier with his arms crossed and he was glaring at her.
"Come sit with us” Said Wanda to Agatha when she lifted her head, Agatha nodded and she came closer to them, Natasha patted in the chair in front of them so that Agatha sat there.
“What are your intentions with y/n?” Asked Wanda glaring at Agatha
“I want to make her happy” The blue-eyed witch said calmly
“I don’t trust you!” Wanda said when Agatha finished her sentence, Agatha was shocked she hadn’t even talked a lot and Wanda was already really upset.
“I’m really sorry about what I did, I just wanted more power and you didn’t even know how to use your magic I-
"Now you better stop right there!-” Wanda was really upset that she even stood up from the couch pointing at Agatha with her finger, Wanda had to take her from her waist to stop her from coming closer to Agatha.
“I’m sorry alright!? I’m truly sorry, but I’m not that person anymore, and I understand why all of you are angry, You want to protect her from me, and that’s completely understandable, but I really love her, I don’t want to be without her, I care for y/n just as you care for her, she’s my life, she means everything to me, please, I’m saying the truth” Agatha begged
“You can use your powers on me to see that I’m not lying” Agatha offered
Wanda thought about it for a moment and she decided she would do it, Wanda placed her fingers over Agatha’s temple and she saw her memories, she was able to feel what the older witch felt, and the only thing she found in Agatha’s mind related to you was pure love, Wanda realized that the witch wasn’t lying, she really loved you, but still she had her doubts.
“What is y/n’s Favorite drink?” Asked Wanda
"What is y/n y/n’s favorite dessert?” Natasha demanded to know
"What is y/ns favorite book?” Bucky was the third one to ask something
"What is y/n favorite movie?” Steve added
“What is y/ns favorite restaurant?” Tony inquired with a serious look on his face
Agatha answered every question correctly and in the calmest possible way, she knew all of these things because you had told her, everyone one of the avengers were impressed, they weren’t expecting that the woman in front of them would know all of that information about you.
"Please, I swear I love y/n with all my heart, and I know I made some mistakes, but I changed, and I would never hurt y/n”
Wanda was pouting, there was really no doubt that she loved you.
“At this point I’m pretty sure she’s not lying love” Natasha whispered in her ear and Wanda just scrunched her nose.
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
“Hey, why hasn’t any one of you picked your phone? I called you several times from Peter’s phone because classes were cancelled due to-”
You stopped death in your tracks, Agatha was sitting in a chair in the middle of the living room with the others.
You couldn’t believe it, what was she doing here?
“Agatha?” You saw how Agatha slowly nodded and she stood up from her chair to walk towards you.
You left your backpack on the floor and threw yourself at her arms.
She put her arms around your waist, her grip was firm yet soft at the same time, you could smell her perfume, the same one you had missed so much all these days.
Tears were falling from her eyes and you softly took her face in your hands, caressing her soft skin with your fingers.
“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you doll, I couldn’t even sleep well, I was tempted to use my magic to appear here, but I knew everyone would be around you since the first day I went to look for you at your college and I saw Wanda picking you up, I didn’t do it either because I didn’t want things to get worse” You softly wiped some of her tears away with your fingers and she leant into your touch, she had missed you so much.
“I couldn’t sleep either, I wanted to know how you were feeling, but I couldn’t even call you nor text you, I was desperate" You sobbed.
“Oh angel, I was desperate too” Your girlfriend pulled you closer to her, feeling your body against her made her feel relieved, she was holding you again, you were alright and that was the most important thing to her, resting your head on the crook of her neck she softly pressed a kiss on your hair.
The Avengers were looking at you, they were astonished, that would have never expected the older witch to treat you in such a beautiful way.
Wanda sensed what you and Agatha were feeling, it was love, and it was strong, really strong, beautiful emotions were emanating from you and the woman hugging you, you two really loved each other in a way, Natasha and her loved each other, it was a pure love.
Wanda took Natasha’s hand in hers and the two of them nodded at each other, walking closer towards you Wanda softly cleared her voice, and the sound made you move away a little from your girlfriend, you shyly looked at Nat and Wanda in front of you
“Listen, I´m sorry about what happened, I know we- I know I hurt you, but please I just wanted to protect you, I don´t trust her at all, but I can see that she really loves you just as much as you love her” Wanda quietly apologized, Agatha smiled at you and she separated herself from you a little, she turned herself to face Natasha and Wanda, with her arm around your waist, you were beside her and she loved the feeling of touching you in front of more people.
“I understand, and I know y/n understands that too, I know you don´t trust me for what I did, but I´m willing to prove myself so that you know I would do anything for y/n” You were smiling, finally they were having a calm conversation and they weren’t yelling at each other.
“You don´t need to be sorry, I understand that you wanted the best for me, and you did what you thought it would be the best for me, I wasn’t mad at you, I just felt betrayed because you didn’t trust me, but now I feel relieved, I missed you, I love you so much and not having you either, made me feel awful, I wanted to hug you too, but I didn’t want to come to you” You quickly wiped the tears away that had fallen down your eyes.
“I wanted to hug you too sweetheart, I was heartbroken, I couldn’t stand seeing you so sad, and I wanted to talk to you but you didn’t let me” Natasha quickly pulled you into a hug and you leant into her, you had really missed her a lot, when she pulled away, Wanda hugged you too, you closed your eyes and rested your head on her chest, you felt a soft kiss being placed in your forehead and you smiled.
“I missed you too Wanda, a lot, I hated that we fought and I hope we never fight like this again” You whispered into her chest.
“I assure you, we won´t, I hated the way I yelled at you I-“
“It´s alright, seriously Wanda, I forgave all of you, because you didn’t hurt me on purpose” You interrupted her and Wanda smiled, it was really good to hug you again.
“Don´t think we won´t have an eye on you anyone Agatha” Wanda began again
“Wanda” You said with a tired tone
“What?” The witch asked you with fake innocence and you felt a soft hand on your shoulder
“It´s alright doll, it´s alright, they can keep an eye on me, it doesn’t bother me” Your girlfriend said softly.
“We´re sorry too, about what happened” This time Steve was the one talking and Agatha nodded, she knew they weren’t bad, they just wanted the best for you, the men sitting in the couches gave her a shy smile, and she returned the smile at them.
“So, that means she can come to visit me?” You eagerly asked, Wanda and Nat looked at each other, and you patiently waited for an answer.
“Yes, she can come to visit you, and you can visit her, but Wanda and I will be the ones to drive you, alright?” Your eyes were beaming with joy, this is what you had wanted and finally they were accepting it, you nodded and turned your face to look at Agatha, she loved to see you this happy, Natasha and Wanda were happy to see you back, with that smile you always offered to everyone.
“Can I show her the tower?” You asked Natasha and Wanda again, and they sighed, they couldn’t say no to you, so they just nodded at you.
“If you show her your room, I want the doors open alright?” Wanda asked and you laughed, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes a little.
“Yes, yes I will let the doors open” You said to them and you took Agatha´s hand to guide her to your room, when you arrived to your room, you didn’t close the doors at all, sitting in your bed you patted your hand on your bed next to you, Agatha sat beside you and she passed her arm around your waist, you let your head rest on her shoulder taking her free hand on yours.
“This is great, now we can spend more time together and you can come here” Your excitement was visible and Agatha loved it.
“I know love, it was awful not being able to hold you during these days, I kept calling on your phone and as you didn’t answer, I thought the worst, that´s why I decided to go to your college” Agatha´s heart ached at the memory.
"That’s because Wanda took my phone away, I will ask her to give me my phone back later, I want to cuddle with you, what do you think?” You murmured into her ear.
"That’s an amazing idea doll, I want to hold you tightly” She whispered back into your ear.
Agatha and you kissed you again for the first time in days, her hand squeezing softly your waist, she had missed your lips so much.
You broke the kiss only to dragged her to the center of your bed, taking off your shoes she did the same, you took the covers and put them over the two of you when you were already lying in the middle of you comfortable bed.
You placed your head on her chest and she held you by your waist, you were going to pass a really nice evening holding each other.
“I have a question; how did you arrive here?” Now that you thought about it, you felt curious, you lifted your head to look at her beautiful blue eyes.
“Well, Wanda called me from your phone, I thought it was you, but then I heard her voice asking me to come here to talk about you” You chuckled a little and just shook your head.
“Do you want to sleep doll?” Agatha asked knowing you hadn’t rest at all.
“I want to, but I also want to spend more time with you while I´m awake” You yawned a little.
“It´s alright baby girl, I will be here when you wake up, we will have more time to spend together from now on” You knew she was right, now you wouldn’t have to hide anymore, and you love the thought.
“Alright, can you wake me up in 1 hour?” You tiredly said while resting your head back again into her chest.
“Of course, doll” She wasn’t going to wake you up in an hour, she was sure you needed more time to sleep, she pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
“I love you y/n” Agatha whispered in your ear.
“I love you too Agatha” You said yawning again.
You really loved that she was going to be there when you woke up.
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ 。˚
“Where´s y/n? We need to tell her everything that happened in our mission, she´s not going to believe what happened” Said Sam entering the living room with Clint by his side.
“I think you will have to wait some hours, she´s in her room with her girlfriend” Steve commented.
“What?” Clint and Sam asked at the same time.
“I´ll let Nat and Wanda explain that to you, a lot of things happened while you were on the mission” Sam and Clint blinked several times.
“Alright, we will tell you everything, it´s kind of a long story so you better take a sit” Natasha said and she took a deep breath.
The evening was going to be full of gasps and mane questions, Wanda quickly went to your room to open the door a little bit more and what she saw made her heart melt, you were sleeping peacefully and Agatha was stroking your hair, she let the door a little open and went back to the kitchen.
“Is she alright?” Asked Natasha to her
“She´s sleeping, she hadn’t slept well, now she´s resting next to Agatha” A smile formed on Natasha´s face, now she was sure you had another person who would protect you just like everyone of them.
It would take some time for Wanda to be able not to be too harsh on the older witch, but she knew you were in good hands, and she was grateful at least that there was another witch who would look out for you.
531 notes · View notes
plathfiles · 1 year ago
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sirius black being the cockiest mf ever trying to impress his crush and she is not impressed in the slightest to the point he starts getting really shy around her because he no longer knows how to act if his usual bravado doesn't work
but turns out just being his dorky, vulnerable, and still (softer) flirty self works like a charm!!
Sirius would totally the most cocky and immature tactics to get you to go out with him. it would be romantic for sure. im picturing the dance number that heath ledger sings in “10 things i hate about you.”
I hope you enjoy!
𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 | 𝐒.𝐁
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summery: after Sirius gives up on his boastful ways of flirting, you turn the other cheek and notice the popular marauder is sweet and dorky on the inside.
warnings: not proof read. one inappropriate joke, but that’s all 🫶🏻
pairing: sirius black x reader
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Sirius Black was a charmer. That was for certain. Rumors spread like the plague of his roughish ways. You were not a fan of him, which was unfortunate for you because he was a fan of you. Constantly. Every chance he would get, he would flirt you up in the hallway.
“Hey y/n, what are you doing later?” He would ask you. You replied with, “McGonagall’s transfiguration essay.”
Sirius just smirked and returned with his cocky banter, “That’s a shame, I wish you’d do me instead.” He grinned, James and Peter behind him laughing.
It wasn’t genuine, or at least that’s how you felt. You rolled your eyes and replied with, “You wish, Black. In your dreams.”
You walked away with out seeing or hearing Sirius’ response. It frustrated you to no end that he would joke that way. You wanted to save him the trouble. He was obnoxious and too cocky for your own liking.
You missed when he was sweet and genuine. Not the popular boy that has become a staple at Hogwarts.
Sirius on the other hand, genuinely did want you. But no other tactic had gotten him a date. The rumors were misconstrued and he put on a cocky front. But in reality he was just as shy and dorky as he used to be.
One night after a hogsmeade trip, you were reading in the Gryffindor common room. It was a nice quiet night by the fire place. But all of a sudden, Sirius showed up, sat in an arm chair near you and started playing with wizarding cards.
“Could you keep that down?” You asked him, looking up from your book.
You expected a witty and cocky calculated response, but instead Sirius looked flushed. He ran a hand through this shiny hair and nodded, a little shy.
He gave up on impressing you and being so boastful. What did he have to lose? “Yeah sure, sorry.” He replied.
Sirius’ response continued to surprise you. Where were his annoyingly witty comments and jokes? Why wasn’t he flirting?
“Are you okay?” You asked, now a little confused.
“Yeah I’m fine,” he replied, lookin over at you. In his mind you looked so beautiful sitting by the fire. “Urm—actually I wanted to apologize. For making you so upset. I just think you’re really pretty an all. But I’m taking the hint and I’ll stop.”
He sounded so sweet about it and vulnerable. This was the Sirius you liked. The genuine one.
You smiled softly, “Thank you for the apology Sirius. I appreciate it. But you really think I’m pretty?” You asked.
He nodded, continuing to be sincere in his response. “Yeah, could never take my eyes off you love?” He said. It was straightforward and flirty but absolutely adorable and dorky.
You blushed. Why couldn’t be t he like this all the time?
“I like you like this.” You said, with a small smile. Sirius flushed.
“Y-you-u do?” He asked, a little surprised. This was the first time you’d shown him affection.
“Yeah. I mean when you aren’t being so boastful and cocky around me. I like the genuine you, Sirius.” You said.
With that, he sat up and walked over to the couch. He sat next you and both were facing each other.
“Sooo, I guess what you’re saying is???” He teased. You lightly pushed him and laughed.
“I’m saying if you tried to ask me out in a less boastful way. I would say yes.” You explained, blushing.
Sirius felt like he’d won the jackpot. “Really?! Uh I mean oh that’s cool.” He said, earning another giggle out of you.
“Y/n, will you go out with me?” He asked, sincerely.
You nodded, “Yes Sirius, I will.”
5K notes · View notes
navybrat817 · 5 months ago
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Hold You Tight: Part 3
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 2 | Series Masterlist | Part 4
Chapter Summary: The date is just beginning, but you're not sure if you can keep it together.
Chapter Word Count: Over 3.8k
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, stalking, coercion, threats (not against reader), creepy and unhinged behavior, possessiveness, manipulation, mental and emotional whiplash, reader is trying to stay calm, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Hope you lovelies enjoy and thank you again for the feedback so far! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You took a deep breath and another, but it didn’t stop your heart from picking up in your chest. It was a feat that your legs didn’t give out. Your throat felt rough and raw, except you hadn’t screamed. You hadn’t made a sound. Not until Bucky moved toward you, pulling a whimper from you.
“I thought it would be a nice surprise,” he said, cupping your face with a smile. You wanted to believe there was a warmth behind it or that he had a voice in his head telling him that this wasn’t right. That none of this was right. “Don’t you like them?”
“The flowers. The guy who bought them…” you swallowed, wondering exactly who he was and how he was associated with Bucky. Did Bucky know him well or was he a stranger? Did he bribe him into going into his shop?
“Oh, he’s fine,” Bucky assured you, which didn’t make you feel any better. “Loved the tulips you helped pick out for him. I know his girl will be very happy to get them, too.”
The citrus and woodsy combination of Bucky’s cologne filled your nostrils as you took another deep breath. You expected to stumble back when he suddenly crouched down, but you didn’t budge an inch. Once again, you were frozen in fear. Why couldn’t you move? You told yourself he wouldn’t hurt you. Why bother dragging you all the way to his place for that when he could’ve done so in your home?
Or, apparently, your place of work.
“Why don’t we have some of that wine after I show you around?” He asked, retrieving the clutch you dropped.
“Do you really expect me to just sit and have a drink with you?”
“Not just a drink,” he said, slowly standing and reminding you just how large he was. “Dinner. Dessert.”
“Where’s the bathroom?” You asked.
He nodded over your shoulders. “There’s one right behind you.”
You turned and went into the bathroom, careful not to lock the door behind you as much as you wanted to. He may have broken down the door if you tried. You gripped the sink as you struggled to take your next breath, blood rushing in your ears as you looked at your reflection. A voice in the back of your mind whispered to stay calm when tears threatened to spill over for the second time that evening.
Could you though? Could you play along and get through this night without having some sort of breakdown? You had to try.
Your attention was pulled away by the soft knock on the door. “Is everything okay?”
“Would you care if I wasn't?” You asked before you could stop yourself.
The door opened a heartbeat later, but you didn't dare meet his gaze in the mirror as he approached. Not even as he pressed himself against your back, your body trapped between his and the sink. It was suffocating. He brought a hand up to lift your chin, forcing your eyes to lock with his. The light above the mirror put a spotlight on the intensity of his gaze as his lips brushed your ear.
“I care more than you think,” he whispered, turning you to face him. His fingers traced the column of your neck before he let go. “In time, I know you’ll see that.”
You fought the urge to laugh as he led you back into the entryway. If he cared, he would’ve gone about this whole thing differently. You focused your attention instead on the penthouse, taking in more of the decor as he showed you around. As immaculate as the place looked, it lacked a personal touch. Where were the photos? Trinkets?
“What do you think?”
“It’s a beautiful place,” you answered. And it was beautiful, but it didn't feel like a home or lived in like your place.
“A bit spacious for just me,” he said, glancing at you. Was it his roundabout way of stating again how he expected you to move in?
“Yeah, it’s a lot for one person, but it’s still nice.”
He nodded in agreement. “The couch is comfortable if you ever want to take a nap,” he said, an almost knowing look in his eyes as you stopped at the living room. Jesus, did he know you slept on your couch last night? “Though I’d prefer you sleep in our bed.”
“Our” bed. Not subtle at all. “I know you said this would be my place one day, too, but maybe we should get well past the first date before we talk about sharing a bed,” you said, sarcastically adding, “I hog the blankets, so I hope you're prepared for that.”
He chuckled and you wished you didn't like the pleasant sound. “You can have as many blankets as you want. And I had every intention of showing you the master bedroom tonight, but I think I’ll wait.”
“Really?” You asked, hoping you didn't sound too eager to avoid seeing it. Was there a catch?
“Really,” he said, pulling you close by the hips. Through his clothes, you felt how firm he was. There was strength there you couldn't match. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else. And when I take you to bed, I’m going to ruin you. That's a promise.”
A shuddering breath left your lungs as he leaned in, his lips skimming yours.
“But I’m not the monster you think I am, which is why I’m going to wait,” he whispered.
It was a relief that Bucky wasn't going to take you to bed. Not tonight, at least. At the same time, what exactly was he waiting for? He made it clear that he wanted you and wasn't going to let go. What game was he playing?
Thinking about it was enough to drive you mad.
“And you won't hurt me?” You questioned. You had to hear him say it.
“I’d never hurt you,” he promised, pulling away at the two knocks on the front door.
He wouldn't hurt you, but what about other people?
“Chef’s here, boss,” the guard’s voice rang out.
“Perfect timing,” Bucky smiled.
He kept a hand on you as he guided you to the kitchen, the guard and who you assumed to be the chef entering seconds later. “Mr. Barnes, so good to see you.”
“You as well,” Bucky replied, his demeanor professional and somewhat colder.
Your eyes went back to the guard as Bucky chatted with the chef. He seemed to avoid your gaze, keeping his eye instead on the two men speaking. Did he know the circumstances that brought you here? Would he care if he did?
“You’re sure this is what you’d like, Mr. Barnes? This is a relatively simple meal,” the chef scoffed, making a show of gesturing to the ingredients. It dawned on you as you looked at them that he was going to prepare one of your favorite meals. Your stomach dropped, but you kept quiet. Of course, Bucky knew.
And of course, it wasn't sophisticated.
Bucky’s jaw twitched as if he sensed your embarrassment. The guard didn't look impressed by the chef’s comment either. “It’s her favorite. Are you insulting my girl’s taste?” he spoke, making you shiver from the ice in his tone.
“No, Mr. Barnes. Of course not! I meant no disrespect.” The chef shook his head, meeting your gaze with a shaky smile. “To be simple is to be great.”
“That’s right. Simplicity is also to be respected,” Bucky said, pointing a gloved finger at him. “And with your reputation, it better be the best meal she has ever had. I’d hate to see what happens if she doesn’t like it.”
“It’s fine,” you whispered. It was better to focus on easing the situation instead of yet another reminder that he knew another intimate detail about you. That and you felt bad as the man behind the counter began to sweat. “I’m sure the meal will be delicious. Thank you for taking the time to come here and prepare it.”
The tension dissipated as Bucky softly smiled at you, a crisis averted for the time being. “We’re going to enjoy our wine on the balcony while he prepares our meal,” he told the guard. “Keep an eye on him.”
“Will do.”
Bucky took you away from the kitchen before the chef could speak another word to you. Fresh air might help you breathe easier. He opened the glass door, the night breeze making you shiver as you stepped outside. The view of the city stretched on and the moon and stars lit up the sky. It was breathtaking.
You jumped when Bucky put his jacket around your shoulders. The romantic gesture felt like a claim. “I hope his comment didn't upset you. If it did-”
“It’s fine. Really,” you assured him, glancing at the two-seater table as he pulled out a chair for you. Two glasses were set out as well, along with what you knew to be an expensive bottle of wine. “This is gorgeous.”
“It is,” he agreed, your cheeks flaming when you saw him looking at you instead of the view.
“Do you spend a lot of time out here?” You asked.
He popped the cork on the bottle and poured each of you a small amount. You almost thanked him for that. You had to keep your wits about you.
“Not as much as I’d like to,” he said, nodding to a small sofa in the corner as he took a seat. “But I do like to read out here.”
“You read in your free time?” You asked, biting back a moan when you sipped the wine.
His eyes lit up and just as quickly darkened when you licked your lips. “I do. Reading has always been a hobby of mine. I even have first editions of some of my favorite books.”
“That’s really nice,” you smiled. For a moment it felt like the two of you were having a normal conversation.
That good feeling went away when he took out a velvet box.
“Can’t forget about the surprise,” he smiled before he handed it over. It looked too long to be a ring box, thankfully, but it wouldn't have surprised you if there was an engagement ring inside. Which was likely why your hand shook as you opened it.
The diamond pendant was stunning enough to make you gasp. Five stones each a different shape, they sparkled under the moonlight. The kind of necklace you could only dream of having.
“Bucky, I’m sorry.” You shut the box and slid it back across the table toward him. “I can’t accept this.”
His gaze flickered to the box before he looked at you again. You wanted to believe he looked concerned, but he hadn’t exactly taken any of your feelings into consideration so far. “Why not? We can pick out another together if you’d rather have something else.”
“I can’t accept it because it’s too much,” you said. Accepting the gift would make the situation more real.
He chuckled after a moment. “No, it isn't. Nothing would ever be too much for me to give to you.”
You reached across to tap the top of the box. “Bucky, this is the kind of gift that you give to your wife or fiancé or girlfriend. Hell, maybe a mistress or a sugar baby. I’m none of those things.” Something flickered in his gaze and that should’ve been your warning to stop, but you kept going anyway. “I’m not your girl.”
He took your hand before you could pull it away, his jaw clenched. “You’re right about one thing. You’re not my mistress or a sugar baby,” he agreed. “You could never be those things because you are the only one I see.”
But why? It didn’t make any sense to you. “But-”
“Girlfriend, fiancé, wife,” he ticked off with the fingers of his free hand. “We'll get to all those phases of our relationship, so you might as well accept this gift now or you'll be accepting much more than this later.”
You swallowed, but didn’t attempt to pull away. His grip didn’t hurt and you didn’t know exactly what he was implying, but you didn’t want to find out tonight. Not when he promised he wouldn’t drag you off to his room. “Thank you for the wonderful gift.”
He smiled and took the box as he stood. You didn't protest as he moved to put the necklace around your neck nor did you flinch when his fingers moved along on your skin. When he sat back down, he sighed and lovingly looked you over. “It's beautiful. Just like I knew it would be on you."
You touched it after a moment, the feel of his fingertips still lingering. “I didn't expect something so nice for a first date.”
“This is only the beginning.” He tilted his head and let his eyes watch you trace the delicate gems. “You deserve so much more.”
“Is this some elaborate joke?” You scoffed a bit. He sounded so sure of himself, that he believed you deserved the world. But why? “You do realize that I'm just a florist. And I don't say that to belittle my career because I love what I do, but I'm nothing special.”
Sadness took over his eyes. “Why would you say that?”
You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth. This wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have with the stranger who broke into your home. You didn’t want to have any sort of conversation tonight. “Because I don't own the flower shop I work at. I'm not rich. Hell, I lived with a roommate until last year just to save up and afford my own place. You should know since you researched me,” you said without a trace of bitterness. “I’m not a party girl. I don't turn heads wherever I go. I just want to work with my flowers, go home, and live a simple little life.”
His eyes followed the motion of you biting your lip again before he shook his head. “You think being rich and owning a business are the things it takes to make someone special?”
“No, I don't think that.”
“Then what does?”
You looked around the balcony with a sigh before meeting his gaze again. “Who a person is makes them special.”
“Yet everything you stated has nothing to do with who you are. So I’ll ask again, why would you say you're nothing special?”
You didn't know how to respond. You thought he would’ve just dropped the conversation, so you looked into your lap with a shake of your head. If you were special, wouldn’t you have found someone by now the way Addision and your other friends had? You didn’t want to pour out your insecurities, even if he seemed to hold an invisible knife and was ready to cut them open. “I don't know. I just know I’m not.”
He hummed a little. “So, would someone who is nothing special make homemade meals for her neighbor because she recently had a baby and probably wouldn't have time to cook for herself?”
Your head snapped up so fast you nearly hurt yourself. “How-”
“And not only are you in Addison's wedding party, you offered to have her flowers done so she could have more money for her honeymoon. You're telling me that being caring and thoughtful doesn’t make a person special?”
Goosebumps raised on your skin, realizing just how thorough he was in his research of you. “How do you know all of that about me?” Tears sprang to your eyes and you blinked them back. “I didn't tell anyone about my neighbor or the flowers.”
He cracked a small smile. “That's one of the things that makes you special. You don't do those things expecting anything in return and you sure as hell don't do it to brag. You do them because you care.” He took a second to lean back in his seat, his eyes still on you. “When I see something I want, I give it my all. And I'm not afraid to use my resources. I told you, I like to be thorough.”
You giggled. A hysterical sort of giggle. One that scared you because you had never laughed like that. “I don't know if I can do this,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I shouldn't be here. I should be getting a restraining order.”
Bucky didn't look offended in the slightest. “You could try. Do you think it’ll stop me?”
What little resolve you had left snapped. “Oh, my god. Do you hear yourself? I mean, really hear yourself?!” You snapped, tempted to throw the remainder of your wine on him when he didn’t react. “You know what a first date is, right? It’s two people trying to get to know each other and to see if there’s a mutual connection. You didn’t give me a chance to form a connection with you because you decided it for me after you stalked me.”
His brows pinched like you hurt his feelings. “Doll-”
“You know ‘everything’ about me, but what do I know about you, huh?” You continued, your anxiety bubbling over. “I know that you own a club and that you break into homes and scare the shit out of people. Oh, and that you read. And you apparently have the world at your fingertips since you can send people into my place of work and find out details about me that most aren’t privy to. You could probably use those resources of yours for good or to help others, but you used them to dig into my life when I didn't ask you to!”
“Some people do research before a first date,” he pointed out, not raising his voice.
“Not a full background check! I’m not an employee of yours and I’m not a toy for you to play with!” You huffed as you sat back, suddenly exhausted. How was he unphased? “You really think you have a say in my future? Are you that much of a control freak that you think you can control me?”
The silence stretched on as Bucky considered you and your body trembled as he idly sipped his wine. You weren’t the type to snap and you suddenly felt the urge to apologize for your outburst, which wasn’t fair. He put you in this situation, so why did you want to make it better?
Because you didn’t know what he would do.
“I’m not trying to control you,” he stated, handing you a handkerchief.
“It feels like you are and that isn’t fair,” you said, dabbing at your eyes. Life wasn’t exactly fair though, was it? “And for the record, the only reason I’m not tossing this wine on you is because it’s delicious and it would be a waste.”
His nose scrunched as he laughed. “I wish you could’ve met my mom. She would’ve loved you,” he said so softly you almost missed it, the change in topic jarring to say the least. What happened to her? “I’ve tried traditional dating. It doesn’t and hasn’t worked for me so far. The last woman I dated? She tried to rob me, if you can believe that.”
You sighed, still a bit worn out from your rant. “I can,” you said. There were greedy people in the world and he seemed to have more than enough to provide others with a comfortable life. It wasn’t right that someone tried to take what he earned.
It also wasn’t right what he was doing to you.
“In my line of work, everyone wants something from me. Money, power, favors. It’s hard to trust people,” he said, his gaze surprisingly soft as he took your hand again. “But not you.”
“Because that’s not the kind of person I am,” you guessed.
You were in many ways the opposite of him. While you weren’t poor, you certainly weren’t rich or powerful and didn’t want to use people for your gain. Perhaps that was why he wanted you so badly. You were someone who didn’t want anything from him. Someone like you was easy for him to control since you didn’t run in that kind of circle, even if he said he wasn’t trying to.
Maybe you should have put up a fight instead of making yourself an easy target.
Wait, why were you blaming yourself?
“I know it isn’t,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “So, maybe I’m a control freak and maybe my approach is a bit extreme, but I don't want to control you. I like who you are, doll. You’re loyal and caring and real. The kind of person I want and need.”
You took a sip of wine so you didn't have to respond. He needed you, so he said, but did you need him? And why did his praise warm your insides? You didn't want it to feel nice.
“And maybe I like that you aren’t the kind of person who has a hidden agenda and that you aren’t a party girl. Even you snapping at me. I love that fire. I want more of it. Burn me with it if you want,” he continued, sweeping his gaze over you once again. “Fuck, I can’t take my eyes off you. And I can't stop thinking about you.”
The look in his eyes put you on edge. “But we-”
“You’re good for me and you may not believe I’m good for you, but I am. We’re right for each other,” he said. The fierce determination in his gaze almost had you believing it. “And aren’t you tired of being lonely? I know I am.”
Loneliness could eat away at a person. Drive them to do desperate things. It didn't excuse his actions.
“Lonely or not, you can't force us to be together,” you said.
“I’m not forcing us to be together. You chose to be here tonight.”
“You know why I came here,” you argued. He had to know you did this because of his threat. “And I’ll behave or do whatever I need to do for the rest of the night, but I can't promise anything beyond that.”
Instead of anger like you expected, he smiled. Like a wolf flashing his teeth before sinking into its prey. “That’s okay because I have a promise for you,” he began, the flame dancing in his eyes. “You’ll be out of your apartment before the end of the month.”
The balcony door opening covered up the wheeze you let out, but didn't hide the despair written all over your face. He couldn't be serious. “Dinner’s ready,” the guard stated.
Bucky didn't spare him a glance as he stood and kept your hand in his, your appetite gone as his smile widened. “C’mon, doll. Better not let it get cold.”
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Ooh. Will he really have you out of your place that soon? How awkward will that meal be? And who do we think this guard is? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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cameronsprincess · 4 months ago
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THE STORM (PT. 2) — J.M
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— summary: it’s been six months since that night at the chateau with jj, and he’s back for more.
— CW: mean!jj, maybe forced proximity??, slight breeding kink, slapping, choking, degrading, unprotected piv sex.
— note: i kinda came up with something for this, and have had it in my drafts for a minute.. i queued it up before i went on my break, hope y’all enjoy and i’ll be back soon! you can read part one here if you haven’t already!
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It’s been six months since that night. The night that has consumed your every waking thought, and every nightmare you had.
You’d always known JJ hated you, so you don’t know why it really surprised you that things went down the way they did. JJ was a horrible person to put it nicely. Sure, you felt for him at times, his home life not being the best and all, but after that night, you stopped caring, you stopped trying, and you tried your hardest to ignore him.
But it’s hard to ignore someone who continually puts themself in your line of sight. You knew you’d still see him, seeing as the two of you are both in the same friend group, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t ignore his presence. The more you tried to ignore him though, the harder he tried to get your attention.
He’d throw mean jabs your way, shoulder check you as he walked past you, you’d catch him staring at you from across a room or when you and your friends are gathered around a late night fire his bright blue eyes stayed glued on you when no one else was paying attention.
This was one of those moments.
You and your friends decided to have a fire at the chateau, and the only thing you could focus on was the blonde whose blue eyes were burning a hole into the side of your face.
“So like I said, he’s a dick, and I hope our dad kicks him out soon.”
You blink once. Twice. Three times before finally putting your focus back on Sarah who had been talking to you.
“I’m so sorry, Sare. I’m just out of it tonight, what’d you say?”
Sarah places a loving hand on your shoulder before laughing. “It’s cool, just me complaining about Rafe, per usual. Are you okay?”
You slowly nod your head, letting your head hang and your eyes focus on the seltzer you had in your hands. Truth was, you were far from okay. Even after everything JJ has put you through — before and after you had sex with him — you couldn’t get him out of your head. You wanted to feel him again, you wanted to let him ravage you again, and you hated yourself for it.
“Yeah I’m good. Just tired, I think I’m gonna call it a night,” You pause, looking up and calling for John B. “You mind if I sleep in the spare room tonight?”
John B smiles back at you, nodding his head once. “Yeah that’s fine! Looks like you got the couch tonight, J.”
Your eyes flit over to JJ, his intense fiery gaze already on you. The corners of his lips lift into a small smile, but it looked evil. “Yeah, that’s cool.” He said lowly, responding to JB but his eyes never left yours.
Your entire body feels like it’s on fire despite the cold December air, and it wasn’t from the large fire blazing in front of you. No, it’s JJ and his all consuming presence that has your body feeling like it’s burning from the inside out.
You quickly drop your eyes, downing the last of your seltzer and crushing it in your hand. You tell your friends goodnight and head inside the old house, tossing the can into the trash and making your way down the small hallway and into the guest bedroom.
You hated the way JJ made you feel. You hated him. You hated how you still wanted him even after he used you and quite literally tossed you to the side when he was done with you.
His words have torn you apart the last six months. “We don’t talk about this, ever. got it? It was just.. hate sex? Someone had to fuck the attitude out of you. This changes nothing, you mean nothing to me, and i still hate you.”
You’re stripping yourself of your jeans and thick sweater, getting ready to climb into the bed when the unmistakable sound of the bedroom door squeaking open has you turning fast on your heels.
JJ.
“What.. What’re you doing in here?”
You hate the way your voice has a slight shake to it, the way you don’t sound confident and how your entire body is shaking in his presence. But most importantly, you hate the way your pussy is throbbing, growing wet at just the sight of JJ and his fucking stupidly beautiful face.
He smirks at you, reaching a hand behind him and locking the door. You take a cautious step backward, your eyes narrowing and head cocked slightly to the side as you watch him watch you.
“JJ! What the fuck are you-”
The rest of your sentence dies when JJ reaches you with just two long strides, his large, calloused hand wrapping around your throat and shoving you into the wall behind you.
“You’re driving me fucking insane. You know that? I fucking hate you, yet, I can’t get you out of my fucking head.”
Your eyes go wide, tears clouding your vision as you try and gasp for air. Your lips move, trying to choke out a response or anything, but all that comes out is strangled nonsense.
“I’ve tried! I’ve tried fucking other girls, I’ve tried staying away from you. But you’re fucking everywhere. Do you know how goddamn irritating that is? Why can’t you just go back to figure eight and stay there? Why the fuck do you keep comin’ around here?”
You lift your arms, gripping onto his wrist that holds your throat and clawing at it, begging him to release you. It’s not your fault he can’t stop thinking about you. You weren’t the one that came onto him that night, it was him! So why are you being blamed? Why is he making it so hard to breathe? So hard to… To..
Black dots take over your vision, your body going numb as JJ tightens his hand around your throat, squeezing so hard you’re close to blacking out.
JJ senses your body going slack in his hold and releases you, stepping back and watching as you hunch over, hands gripping your knees as you suck in breath after breath of sweet oxygen.
Once your head is not longer spinning and you’re breathing properly again, you slowly lift your body, your pissed off gaze finding JJ still standing there.
“Fuck you, JJ! I didn’t do shit! You came onto me that night! You told me that it changed nothing, so frankly, I don’t fucking feel sorry that you can’t get me out of your head, in fact, it brings me great pleasure to know I’m all you think about,” you pause, squeezing your eyes shut and sucking in a slow, long breath of air. “So if you don’t fucking mind, I’m exhausted and just want to be left the fuck alone!”
You move to climb into the bed, but JJ grips your upper arm tightly pulling you back and flush into his firm body. His head dips down, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear and sending a shudder through your body.
His warm breath fans across your sensitive skin, and your nipples harden in response. Fuck him. You won’t give in easily this time.
“I think you want to fuck me again. I think, I’ve been in this pretty little head just as much as you’ve been in mine,” He pauses, his lips leaving a soft kiss on your temple. “Lay on the bed, Y/L/N. Now.”
You turn your head to look at JJ, your eyes narrowed into thin slits as you contemplate what to say. He’s not entirely wrong, but you’d be stupid to sleep with him again.
“Fuck. You. I refuse to let you fuck me again.”
JJ’s eyes darken, and the hand on your arm tightens more before he yanks you to the side and tosses you onto the bed. You lay there, chest heaving up and down as you watch him intently, waiting to see what he’d do next.
He stands there, staring at you, his own breathing erratic. Slowly, he pulls his tight white t-shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. Your eyes scan the length of his tanned and toned chest. God, you want to feel him underneath your hands so badly, you want to give in and let him fuck you again. No one, and you mean no one, had ever fucked you the way JJ had.
“You look real pretty like this, in nothing but your bra and panties, actin’ like your pussy isn’t fuckin’ soaked f’me, crying f’me and just begging to be filled with my cock again.”
You open your mouth to speak, but JJ climbs on top of you, grabbing both your wrists in his right hand and pinning them above your head. You gasp loudly when you feel his cock pressing against your lace covered core, even through his jeans you can feel every last inch of him. Your pussy throbs, your arousal soaking your thighs as he lays there, unmoving but still the feel of his hard cock has you wanting to feel more of him.
“Tell me, princess. You wanna feel me inside you again? You wanna be fucked properly again? Because I know them kooks ain’t doing you no good. No, a girl like you needs to be dominated, needs to be choked and slapped and fucked nice and hard, needs to be put in her place, that what you want baby?”
You’re weak. You can’t even tell him no when your slick thighs, hard nipples and the way you’re breathing is giving the truth away. And the truth is, JJ is right. No one has compared to him. You want him to claim you, to break your mind and leave you craving more even when you know you shouldn’t.
“I- Please. Please fuck me.”
That’s all JJ needed to hear. He releases your wrists from his hand and yanks the cups of your bra down, exposing your tits to him. He smirks at the sight of your hard nipples, dipping his head down and licking each one before sucking one into his mouth.
He releases your nipple from his mouth with a pop, moving to the other and repeating his actions. “Fuck, such a filthy fucking slut, yeah? Loves the idea of fucking the one person she shouldn’t.”
You whimper in response, bucking your hips upward, craving any type of friction on your swollen, needy clit.
“Awww, how pathetic. Begging to be fucked already, don’t worry, baby, I’m gonna fuck this cunt, and I’m fucking it raw this time.”
JJ hops off the bed, popping the button of his jeans and sliding the zipper down with haste. You watch as he slides his jeans and boxers down his legs in one fell swoop, wasting no time in crawling back on top of you and claiming your lips with his.
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down and further into you. You grind your hips against his, feeling his thick cock slide up and down through your slick folds. JJ groans in response, breaking the kiss and pushing himself up, supporting his weight with both his hands.
“So fuckin’ eager, aren’t ya? Wanna be fucked like the dirty little whore we both know you are.”
You nod your head fast, whimpering and moaning as you continue to grind your hips against the air. JJ laughs at you, his hand landing a harsh smack to your cheek before he grips his cock, stroking at it twice before sliding his swollen tip through your folds.
“P-Please, J! Please, fuck me! Wanna be fucked like a whore, wanna be your whore, the girl you hate but fuck anyways!”
JJ groans, the weight of your words hitting him hard. He looks down at you, eyes locked with yours as he pushes himself all the way inside you, filling and stretching your pussy. The two of you moan in unison.
“Fuck! So fuckin’ tight, feels so much better than I remember.” JJ rasps, his hips still, cock unmoving inside your pussy.
You begin grinding your hips, wanting to feel him move inside you, wanting his cock to bring you an orgasm.
JJ slaps at your face again, giving you a look of warning before he dips his head down and captures your lips with his again. He kisses you fervently and begins moving his hips, slowly at first, but then hard and fast.
You moan into his mouth when his swollen tip repeatedly hits at your g-spot, making your toes curl and fingers dig into the smooth skin of his back. “Fuckfuckfuck, JJ! Feels so fucking good!”
JJ picks up the pace of his thrusts, pounding himself inside you like it’s the last time he’ll ever do it, and you’re secretly praying it isn’t the last time. You need more of him forever, even if it’ll only ever be hate sex. It feels so fucking good, you can’t even think of another girl getting this from him.
“Yeah? Feels good? Want me to cum inside this pretty little pussy? Make you a mama and be stuck with me for the rest of your life?”
A loud moan escapes you at his words, and honestly, the thought isn’t too bad. You wouldn’t mind JJ knocking you up, you would always have a reason to see him, and maybe, just maybe, it would change the dynamic between the two of you.
You bite and suck on his lower lip as he continues his brutal thrusts, your pussy clenching around him with every push and pull of his cock. He slows his pace, slowly pulling out so only the tip remains inside you before harshly shoving himself back in. He continues to slowly pull himself out before shoving himself back in, his swollen head hitting that spot inside you over and over again until you’re so close to exploding you can taste it.
“J-JJ! Need.. Need to cum, please!”
Your teeth are chattering, legs shaking and belly tightening. You can’t hold off your orgasm, and thankfully, JJ doesn’t make you.
“Go on, make a mess on my cock, show me how much your pussy loves my cock being inside her.”
That was all it took, your orgasm gushes from you, soaking JJ’s cock and the sheets below you.
“JJ, oh God! Fuck!” You cry out, your nails digging into JJ’s back so hard you break skin.
JJ picks up the speed of his thrusts again, savagely fucking into your sensitive pussy, chasing his own high.
“Gonna cum inside this little cunt, claim you as mine, because you’re mine now, don’t wanna see you with anyone else, got it?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, moaning out a soft “yes”. JJ’s cock swells, twitching inside you as he comes undone, filling you with his cum like he said he would.
He thrusts inside you one final time, stilling and holding himself deep inside you, letting every last drop of cum fill you. Once he’s come down, he slowly pulls himself from inside you and places a kiss to your sweat slick forehead.
“Don’t know what else to say besides, you’re mine. I ain’t sayin’ I like you, or that I am gonna fall in love with you, but I don’t want no one else, and I don’t wanna see you with anyone else, got it?”
You slowly nod your head, your eyes fluttering shut as sleep tries to claim you. JJ quietly redresses, placing one final kiss to the top of your head before he makes his way out of the room. You drift to sleep, your mind consumed with what just happened, with JJ’s cum leaking from your pussy, and thoughts of what the fuck was to come from this little arrangement you just made with him.
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rootedinrevisions · 2 months ago
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Enough for You
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SUMMARY: Heavily based on/inspired by Enough for You by Olivia Rodrigo. After months of chasing storms and harboring unspoken feelings, the moment of truth finally arrives. When Tyler returns to the team with someone new by his side, it shatters the hope you secretly held onto. In the aftermath of his abandonment, you're left grappling with heartache, wondering why you were never enough for him. As Tyler tries to make amends for leaving, the conversation takes a painful turn when he confronts the feelings he never knew existed. But some apologies can't fix what’s been broken, and all you want is to go back to the way things were—before you let him into your heart.
WARNINGS: Angst. Unrequited love.
WORD COUNT: 6.3k (sorry, not sorry)
Note: This is angsty as hell! I've been going through some heavy stuff in my personal life that has me feeling extra angsty. This fic is filled with angst and heartbreak so just be aware. This is how I'm coping with what I'm dealing with in my own life. Hope you enjoy xx
TAG LIST: @omgbrianab I @shanimallina87
The bathroom mirror reflected a version of yourself you’d rarely put on display. Your hair was curled just the right way, and your makeup, while subtle, was meticulously done. You hadn’t planned on going all out like this initially, but after scrolling through pictures of girls Tyler had been seen with—girls with flawless hair and expertly done makeup—you couldn’t help but wonder if that was what it would take for him to notice you.
Tyler Owens. The name that had taken up too much space in your mind for the past several months. He was more than just the leader of The Wranglers team or your boss; he was the man you’d fallen for. Hard. And you didn’t just want him to see you as a friend anymore.
The rest of the team was downstairs already, probably gearing up for the day’s shoot. Normally, you’d be there early too, grabbing coffee with Boone or discussing ideas with Lily. Today, though, you needed these extra few minutes. Maybe, just maybe, today was the day Tyler would finally notice you.
You gave yourself a final look, smoothing down your shirt, and headed out of the room. By the time you reached the lobby, the team was already gathered, discussing plans for the day. 
Boone was the first to see you, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Whoa! Look at you! You clean up nice,” he teased, though his tone was genuinely complimentary.
Lily turned at the sound of Boone’s voice and smiled. “You look amazing! What’s the occasion?”
You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but you shrugged it off. “No occasion. Just felt like switching things up.”
The compliments kept coming. Dexter, who was typically more reserved, gave you an approving nod. But the one person you hoped would notice? He hadn’t said a word.
Tyler stood off to the side, his focus on something entirely unrelated, fiddling with his storm-chasing gear on his truck. He didn’t even glance your way, and your heart sank a little.
Boone, always quick to read a room, smirked and nudged Tyler’s shoulder. “Hey, man, what do you think? She’s looking good today, right?”
Tyler paused for a brief moment, barely looking up from his equipment. His expression didn’t change as he muttered, “I’m not really the compliment type, Boone.”
Your stomach dropped at his response. You had been hoping—no, counting—on some kind of reaction, but his indifference stung more than you’d expected. You tried to brush it off, hiding the hurt with a forced smile, but inside, the disappointment was palpable.
Lily shot you a sympathetic look, sensing the tension. 
Boone, never one to let an awkward moment slide, gave Tyler an exaggerated look of disbelief. “Not the compliment type? Man, give her something. She looks great.”
Tyler shrugged as if the whole thing didn’t matter. “She always looks fine,” he said simply and then turned his attention back to his gear.
Fine.
The word echoed in your head, and for the first time that morning, you felt foolish for trying so hard. You had put in all that extra effort to be noticed, to be something more in his eyes, but apparently, "fine" was all you were.
You forced yourself to join in the conversation with the others, but the sting of his words stayed with you. As the group began to move toward the parking lot to load up the vehicles, you fell into step beside Lily. She bumped her shoulder against yours lightly.
“He’s an idiot,” she whispered, offering a small, supportive smile.
You tried to laugh, though it came out hollow. “Yeah, well, I knew that already.”
But knowing it didn’t make it hurt any less.
The Wranglers’ convoy made its way out of town, the early morning sun casting a golden hue over the horizon. The team was running on fumes, both literally and figuratively, so when Boone pulled into a gas station, everyone seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. While the others went about refueling the vehicles and stretching their legs, you spotted a small coffee shop across the street.
A chance to bring back some caffeine, but more importantly, a chance to do something for Tyler.
Without thinking twice, you hurried across the road, the familiar smell of roasted beans hitting you as soon as you stepped inside the shop. The bell above the door chimed, and the barista greeted you with a smile. You rattled off two orders: one for yourself and one for Tyler—black coffee, extra shot of espresso. You didn’t even need to ask what he wanted; you’d known his usual for months, committing it to memory in a way that only someone who cared a little too much would.
Within minutes, you were heading back to the gas station, clutching both cups in your hands. A tiny flicker of hope sparked inside you—maybe this would be the moment Tyler noticed. Maybe the fact that you remembered his drink order without needing to ask would mean something to him.
You spotted him leaning against the truck, his arms crossed as he waited for the tank to fill. His focus was elsewhere, probably already thinking ahead to the day’s chase, completely oblivious to the fact that you were heading his way with a small gesture of care.
“Here,” you said, holding out the cup toward him.
Tyler looked down at the coffee, momentarily confused before taking it from your hand. He raised an eyebrow, almost as if he hadn’t expected it.
“Black coffee. Extra shot of espresso,” you said softly, your heart picking up speed as you recited his order, hoping the words would register with him. Hoping that he’d realize you didn’t need to ask because you already knew.
He paused for a moment, his eyes flickering to yours briefly before he gave a slight nod. “Thanks,” he muttered, bringing the cup to his lips and taking his first sip.
That was it. Just a nod. No smile, no acknowledgment of the fact that you’d remembered his exact order, nothing. The flicker of hope you’d felt moments earlier dimmed into something closer to disappointment.
You stood there, feeling a bit like a fool for expecting anything more. After all, this was Tyler Owens—the same Tyler who never gave out compliments, the same Tyler who always kept his emotions locked up tight. Why had you thought this would be any different?
You shifted on your feet, holding your own cup a little tighter. “I thought you might need a pick-me-up,” you added, trying to keep the conversation going, hoping for... something.
He nodded again, glancing back toward the others as Boone finished filling up the tank. “Appreciate it,” he said flatly, his focus already shifting away from you and back to the task at hand.
You forced a smile, though the sting of his indifference was hard to ignore. You weren’t expecting grand gestures, but maybe just a little more than a nod. With the wind knocked out of your sails, you turned and headed toward the other side of the truck, sipping your own coffee, the bitter taste mirroring the feeling settling in your chest.
Lily caught your eye from where she stood talking to Dexter, and she shot you a questioning look as if to say, How’d it go? You gave her a small shake of your head and shrugged, silently communicating that it hadn’t gone the way you’d hoped.
The team loaded back into the vehicles, ready to hit the road again, but as you climbed into your seat, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of it all. The weight of always trying, always hoping—only to come up short.
And the worst part? No matter how much it stung, you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t stop caring, couldn’t stop hoping that maybe, one day, Tyler Owens would notice you the way you’d been noticing him all along.
The Wranglers team hit the open road, the small town shrinking behind them as fields stretched out on either side of the highway. You sat in the front passenger seat of Tyler’s truck, a map spread across your lap, though you both knew you wouldn’t really need it. Tyler had been storm chasing for years, and he could practically navigate these roads in his sleep. Your job as navigator was mostly just for show, a formality, but you took it seriously nonetheless—just like being the DJ.
Tyler drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the console between you, his gaze focused on the road ahead. The rest of the convoy followed behind, the team moving as one unit, always in sync, always chasing the next storm.
You unlocked your phone and scrolled through your Spotify library, stopping at the playlist you had saved specifically for moments like this. The one titled simply “Tyler.” A collection of his favorite songs, the ones you’d spent months curating, learning the words to, and playing on repeat just to feel a little closer to him.
You had watched him during countless drives, noting which songs made him tap his fingers against the steering wheel, which ones he hummed along to, and—on rare occasions—which ones he’d actually sing under his breath. The playlist was like a map of his soul, each song a clue to who he was beneath the surface.
You pressed play, the first song filtering through the truck’s speakers, a familiar beat that you knew he liked. Your heart raced a little as you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, wondering if he’d notice.
The music filled the space between you, the silence replaced by lyrics you knew by heart—not because they were your favorite songs, but because they were his.
Tyler’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t look over, didn’t comment. He just drove, his eyes fixed on the road as if the music were simply background noise.
You shifted in your seat, trying to hide your disappointment. Maybe he hadn’t realized yet. It was still early in the playlist, after all. You tapped your fingers against your knee, silently mouthing the words to the song, hoping that at some point, he’d notice. That he’d realize you weren’t just playing random songs—you were playing his songs. The ones that made him smile or relax, the ones that you knew by heart because of him.
Another song began, this one more upbeat. You couldn’t help but glance at him again, waiting for some kind of reaction—a nod, a hum, anything to show that he recognized the playlist as his own.
But if he noticed, he didn’t let it show. His face remained unreadable, his focus unbroken as the miles ticked by beneath the tires. He was calm, in control, as always.
You felt the familiar pang of disappointment settling in your chest, but you pushed it down, telling yourself not to get your hopes up. Tyler wasn’t the type to express things outwardly. You knew that. You’d known it from the beginning, but still... a part of you had hoped that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.
You swallowed the feeling, keeping your gaze out the window, watching the landscape blur past. The music continued, your playlist running through the songs you’d carefully chosen, each one holding a piece of him. You wanted to believe that, at some point, he’d hear it. That he’d realize how much you’d been paying attention all along.
But for now, the road stretched on, and Tyler remained as distant as ever, his silence louder than the music that filled the truck.`
A week later, after a long day of chasing storms, the team had found their way to a small bar on the outskirts of town. The neon lights flickered in the windows, casting a soft glow over the worn-out booths and the dartboard that had seen better days. You followed them inside, but your mind wasn’t on the drinks or the games of pool and darts that the others had already started.
You slipped into a booth in the corner, away from the noise, with your bag slung over your shoulder. From it, you pulled out a book—the book. It was a self-help book you’d noticed Tyler reading last week when he thought no one was watching. You had immediately ordered a copy, telling yourself that it was purely out of interest, but deep down, you knew why. You hoped that if Tyler saw you reading it, he’d think you were smart. Maybe even that you shared the same interests. Maybe he'd even come over and talk to you about it.
The cover felt smooth under your fingers as you opened it, pretending to lose yourself in the words, but really, your eyes kept darting toward the team as they laughed and played darts a few feet away. Tyler stood at the dartboard, one hand gripping a beer, the other lazily aiming for the bullseye. His concentration was unwavering, just as it had been all day on the road, but you couldn’t help but glance his way every few minutes, hoping—wishing—he’d look over and see you.
You settled back against the worn leather of the booth, opening the book to where you’d bookmarked a random page. The words blurred slightly, not because you weren’t capable of understanding them, but because your mind wasn’t truly on the text. Instead, it wandered to the what-ifs, the scenarios where Tyler would walk over, slide into the booth across from you, and ask what you thought of the book. Maybe he’d smile, that rare but breathtaking smile you’d seen a hundred times, and the two of you would actually talk. Not just the usual team banter or logistics about the next chase, but really talk.
But as the minutes passed, the background noise of laughter and clinking glasses felt like a reminder of just how far away that possibility was. Tyler was still over by the dartboard, chatting with Boone as they took turns tossing darts. He hadn’t even glanced in your direction since they’d arrived at the bar.
You tried to focus on the book again, reading the same line twice before finally giving in and glancing at him once more. Nothing. No flicker of recognition that you were there, no acknowledgment of the effort you had put into reading his book, hoping it would make you stand out.
A soft sigh escaped your lips, and you leaned your elbow on the table, resting your chin in your hand. Maybe you were trying too hard. Maybe all the little things—the playlist, the coffee, the book—were just things he’d never notice. Or maybe, and this thought stung the most, maybe you were invisible to him in that way. A friend. A coworker. But nothing more.
You looked down at the book again, reading a few more lines as if they could somehow distract you from the tight knot forming in your chest.
A few minutes later, Boone called out to you, holding up a pool cue as if inviting you to join their game. You shook your head, waving them off with a small smile, holding up the book as an excuse. Boone shrugged and turned back to Tyler, who was lining up his next throw.
For a split second, Tyler’s eyes flicked toward you. Your heart jumped, but before you could even process it, he threw the dart and turned back to the game as if the moment had never happened.
The diner was warm, the kind of warmth that came from too many bodies crammed into small booths and the lingering scent of coffee and fried food in the air. You sat across from Boone, your hands wrapped around a mug of coffee that had gone cold, staring blankly at the chipped rim. The conversation around you was a low hum, drowned out by the thoughts racing through your head.
Tyler had left without a word this morning. Just gone. No explanation, no heads-up. Just a quick exchange with Dexter about her—Kate. The girl from Storm Par. The girl who’d seemed to have swept Tyler off his feet in the last two days. You hated to admit it, but the jealousy gnawed at you, each thought of them together, of him abandoning the team, felt like another crack in your resolve.
Boone nudged your arm, drawing you back to the present. “You alright?” His voice was low, concerned, but you just nodded, forcing a smile.
“I’m fine,” you lied.
Across from you, Ben, the British journalist tagging along with the team, was flipping through his notebook, occasionally scribbling something down. You could tell he was enjoying the chaos of American storm chasing, but his eyes kept flicking toward the empty seat next to you, the one Tyler should have been occupying. Everyone had noticed his absence, but no one had said much. Not directly, anyway.
Lily leaned over, her elbow brushing against Dani as they huddled together over their phones. “He’ll call,” Lily said with forced optimism, glancing at you. “Tyler sometimes does this—goes off on his own for a bit. He’ll be back.”
Dexter and Dani nodded in agreement, but Boone wasn’t so convinced. You weren’t either. Tyler wasn’t just gone. He was with her, and it stung more than you cared to admit.
Night came, and still no word from Tyler. You’d tried calling him once, your stomach twisted in knots, but there was no answer. No response. You wanted to believe Lily and the others, that he would come back, but every passing hour chipped away at that hope.
The next morning, the skies had shifted. Clouds churned ominously in the distance, the kind of promising sight that normally would have Tyler barking orders and loading up the gear. But today, there was just a quiet, palpable tension as the team stood in the parking lot of the motel, debating whether to head out without him.
“I don’t know,” Boone muttered, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the horizon. “Feels wrong going out without Tyler.”
You felt the same. It felt like a piece of the team was missing, the driving force behind it all, but the skies were waiting. And so was Ben. You glanced at the journalist, who had been watching you closely, eager for the action he’d come all the way from England to document. You couldn’t let his time go to waste.
“We have to go,” you said, your voice steady, even though your insides were anything but. “We’ve got the van and the RV. We can still get some good footage, even without Tyler’s truck.”
The team exchanged glances, unsure. But you stepped forward, taking the lead. “Lily’s drone can get us the close-up shots we need, and we’ve still got the cameras. We can’t afford to wait. We’ve got to keep the channel going, and we need content.”
Dexter raised an eyebrow, impressed by your sudden shift into leadership, but Boone still looked hesitant. “What about Tyler?” he asked, voicing what everyone else was thinking.
You forced a calm you didn’t really feel. “Tyler will catch up with us when he’s ready. Right now, we can’t just sit around. The storm’s not going to wait for us.”
Boone finally nodded, and with that, the decision was made. You piled into the van with Lily and the rest of the crew, leaving behind the uncertainty of where Tyler was, or when he’d come back. Ben hopped in last, his camera at the ready, his excitement barely contained as you pulled out onto the open road.
As you sat in the passenger seat, guiding them toward the brewing storm, a familiar weight settled in your chest. You were used to being the one behind the scenes, managing social media, making sure the team’s content reached the masses. But now, as the makeshift team lead in Tyler’s absence, you couldn’t help but wonder—if he ever did come back, would things ever be the same between you two?
Your fingers hovered over your phone, tempted to try calling him again. But instead, you locked the screen and turned your focus to the skies ahead. You had a team to lead now. Tyler’s absence hurt, but it wasn’t going to stop you.
The morning air hung heavy, thick with the kind of heat that settled into your bones. You were leaning against the side of the van, arms crossed over your chest, trying not to let the frustration bubbling under your skin show. Boone stood beside you, his phone buzzing on the dashboard where he’d tossed it. You both glanced at the screen as Tyler’s name flashed across it.
Boone let it ring, his jaw clenched tight. After a few seconds, it went to voicemail. Neither of you said a word, but the tension between you spoke volumes. Tyler was trying to reach out, but neither of you were ready to hear him out just yet.
Moments later, Lily’s phone chimed. She didn’t hesitate, picking it up and putting it on speaker before Tyler had a chance to duck out. "Hey, Tyler," she greeted, her voice neutral.
"You ready for the next chase?" she asked, her tone deceptively light, but you could hear the undercurrent of curiosity.
But before she could say anything more, Tyler cut her off. “No, we’re gonna need you guys for something.”
Lily raised an eyebrow, and Boone shot you a sideways glance, his brow furrowing in confusion. You mirrored his look. We’ll? What did Tyler mean by that?
Lily pressed, “Do we need to drive all the way to Sapulpa?”
Tyler’s voice was quick to respond. “No, no. We’ll come to you.”
That we echoed in your mind, sinking deeper with each moment of silence that followed. You exchanged another look with Boone, but neither of you said anything. There was an uneasy feeling settling in, but none of you knew exactly what to make of it.
Minutes later, a text from Tyler buzzed through to your phone. You looked down to see the name and address of a trailer company. “What is this?” you muttered, sharing the text with Boone and the others.
“I guess we’re about to find out,” Dexter said, climbing into the van with a shrug.
When you arrived at the lot, confusion still lingered in the air as the team climbed out of the van. The parking lot was full of trailers, rows upon rows of them in every size and shape imaginable, glinting under the afternoon sun. The purpose of being here was still unclear.
Then you spotted Tyler’s truck pulling in. The familiar hum of the engine sent your heart rate spiking, but it wasn’t just him that got out.
Kate. She emerged from the passenger side, her face lit up with that same easy smile she’d been wearing ever since the two of them had met.
You felt the knot tighten in your stomach, the same one that had been there since she’d entered the picture two days ago. Dani was the first to break the silence. “You finally made it,” she called, a hint of relief in her voice.
Tyler gave her a smile as he stepped up to the group. “Ben, you stuck around,” he greeted the journalist, shaking his hand as Ben nodded.
“Turns out there’s more to this story than I thought,” Ben said, eyeing Tyler with curiosity.
Tyler grinned. “We got a new ending for you.”
Meanwhile, Dexter raised his hand in a mock salute toward Kate. “Look who it is. City girl.” He shot her a grin that was almost welcoming. Almost.
Lily wasn’t far behind. “What’s up, Kate?” she asked, sounding a little too casual as she strolled over to them.
Kate smiled, sliding easily into conversation with Dexter and Lily like she had been part of the crew all along. You watched as they started chatting about storm footage, Lily showing her clips on her phone from the chase the team had gone on without Tyler and Kate. It wasn’t just that they were talking, though. It was the way Kate’s eyes lit up at the footage, the way she leaned in closer, asking about Lily’s drone.
"Can you rig that drone to collect data?" Kate asked, her interest piqued.
Lily nodded, explaining how Cairo, her drone, worked and all the modifications she’d made. Watching Kate take such an interest in the team felt like watching her slip further into Tyler’s world. A world that, for so long, had felt like yours.
Tyler, meanwhile, was making his way over to Boone, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, buddy," he began, his voice sincere. "I’m sorry."
Boone didn’t look at him, his jaw set. "Man, you abandoned me," Boone muttered, his voice tight with hurt. "I don’t know nothin’ about no makeup-"
Tyler cut him off with a smirk. “How about we launch some new rockets?”
Boone’s expression shifted, the tension breaking as he perked up. "You said rockets?" His tone was a mix of surprise and cautious excitement.
Tyler nodded, a grin forming. “I did.”
For a moment, it felt like the old Tyler and Boone—the way they always found common ground no matter what. But that still left you.
Tyler turned toward you, taking a few steps in your direction, his face softening. "I’m sorry," he began, but before he could get out anything more, Dani and the salesman walked up.
The apology hung in the air, unfinished, as you stood there, watching him. He hadn’t called you, hadn’t reached out directly. And now, standing in front of you with Kate by his side, the apology felt... hollow.
The van's engine hummed steadily as you followed behind Tyler’s truck, the road stretching endlessly ahead. You hadn’t spoken a word since leaving the trailer lot. The silence between you and Lily was thick, heavy with the weight of everything unsaid. Outside, the sky was bruised with the remnants of a setting sun, casting long shadows over the landscape. But inside the van, it felt like the world had dimmed.
Your eyes were locked on the truck ahead, on the faint silhouette of Tyler’s head just visible through the back window. You knew Kate was sitting there, right beside him, and the thought twisted in your chest like a knife. You blinked, trying to hold it together, but the tears came anyway, silent and hot as they slid down your cheeks.
Lily glanced over at you, her brows knitting together in concern. She didn’t say anything at first, just watched you quietly, giving you space. But you could feel her eyes on you, the way she hesitated before speaking.
“Hey…” her voice was soft, cautious. “You okay?”
It was a ridiculous question, really, but it was all she could say. You shook your head slightly, trying to wipe the tears away with the sleeve of your jacket, but they kept coming, harder now.
Lily sighed, her hand reaching across the seat to give your arm a gentle squeeze. She didn’t need to say it—you both knew. She had been the only one who knew. The only one you had confided in about how you felt about Tyler. She had believed, just like you, that maybe he’d wake up and see what was right in front of him.
But now... now it was clear. He had found someone else. Someone more exciting, more interesting. Someone like Kate.
The tears fell faster, and you pressed your fist to your mouth, trying to keep the sobs at bay. But your mind wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t let you escape from the reality of it. Tyler hadn’t just left you behind. He had abandoned you without a second thought, without even realizing how much it hurt. One second he was there, and the next he was gone. Gone like you meant nothing.
And you were left wondering what you’d done wrong. Why you were never enough.
Lily’s voice broke through the whirlwind of thoughts. “You know… none of this is your fault, right?”
You let out a shaky breath, but didn’t respond. How could it not be? You must have done something—been something—wrong for him to walk away like that, like you didn’t even matter.
“He’s a fool, you know,” Lily continued, her voice firmer now. “I really thought he’d pull his head out of his ass eventually. Realize what’s right in front of him.”
You swallowed hard, your voice barely above a whisper. “He never even saw me.”
Lily didn’t argue, and you were grateful for that. Because it was true. Tyler hadn’t seen you—not the way you wanted him to. You had spent so long hoping, waiting for him to notice, to realize that you loved him more than anyone ever could. But he didn’t. He found someone else instead, someone new and shiny like Kate.
Your thoughts spiraled further, the pain gnawing at you from the inside. You could barely breathe through it. God, Tyler couldn’t have cared less about someone who had loved him more. Loved him with everything you had.
“I’d say he broke my heart,” you whispered, your voice trembling, “but I think he broke a lot more than that.”
Lily’s hand was back on your arm, squeezing tighter this time. “You deserved better. You still do.”
You nodded, though it didn’t feel like that right now. All you’d ever wanted was to be enough for him. Just enough to be seen, to be cared for the way you cared for him. But that had been too much to ask.
The miles passed by, the road stretching endlessly ahead, just like this ache inside you. You watched the truck in front of you, the taillights glowing faintly as Tyler drove on, oblivious. You couldn’t help but wonder if he ever thought of you at all—or if he was too caught up in Kate’s orbit now to even notice the wreckage he’d left behind.
You turned to look at Lily, her eyes full of empathy. “I don’t think I ever stood a chance, did I?” you asked quietly.
Lily’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she shook her head softly. “No. I don’t think it was ever about you. He’s just… lost. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
You nodded, feeling that hollow truth settle in your bones. You weren’t sure what hurt more—the fact that he didn’t see you or the realization that you might have been waiting for someone who was never really yours to begin with.
The air was still, thick with the calm before the storm. The team had scattered, gathering near the RV to eat lunch and regroup before they moved on. Laughter echoed from where Dani, Dexter, and Lily sat in lawn chairs, enjoying the brief pause in the chase. Ben, Boone, and Tyler stood near Tyler's truck, their conversation drowned out by the low hum of the wind sweeping across the open field.
But you weren’t with them. You hadn’t been all day.
You sat alone in the van, the door open, your legs pulled up to your chest as you rested your forehead on your knees. Your eyes were closed, trying to block out the ache that had settled deep inside your chest. The tears had dried, but your face still felt tight from the tracks they left behind. You just wanted to disappear, to not feel the way you did.
Tyler’s laughter drifted over from where he stood with the others, and the sound made your heart twist painfully. He had no idea, no clue what was going on inside you.
Until Lily caught his eye.
She saw him glance toward the van, saw him hesitate, his body half-turned as if he wanted to approach but wasn’t sure if he should. She knew it was only a matter of time before he’d find out—before your carefully hidden feelings were laid bare. The thought of you sitting there, hurting like this, was eating her alive.
With a deep breath, Lily made the decision. She walked over to where Tyler stood, tapping him on the shoulder.
“Tyler, can we talk for a second?”
He glanced down at her, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
Lily glanced toward you in the van, then back at Tyler. Her voice dropped to a more serious tone. “It’s about her. I think... I think you need to know something.”
Tyler’s expression changed instantly. His eyes followed hers to where you sat, and he felt the weight of her words before she even said them. “What is it?”
Lily sighed. “She’s not just upset about the team. About you leaving. It’s more than that.” She hesitated, then spoke more quietly. “She’s been hurt by you bringing Kate on board. Especially without saying anything.”
Tyler frowned, confusion flickering across his face. “Hurt? Why would—”
“She cares about you, Tyler,” Lily interrupted. “More than you realize.”
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He stood there, frozen for a moment, processing what Lily had just told him. “Wait… you mean…?”
Lily nodded. “She’s had feelings for you for a long time. And when you left, it broke her. Then when you came back… with Kate...” Lily trailed off, not needing to finish the thought. The silence said enough.
Tyler felt the weight of it all settling on his shoulders. Guilt gnawed at him, the realization sinking in. He looked back toward you, sitting alone in the van, your back to him.
“Damn…” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know.”
“I know,” Lily replied softly. “But now you do.”
Tyler gave her a nod, his jaw clenched as he turned and started walking toward the van. His footsteps were slow, hesitant. The closer he got, the clearer it became—he hadn’t just hurt you by abandoning the team. He’d hurt you far worse without even realizing it.
He stopped halfway to the van, watching you. He could see it now—the tension in your shoulders, the way your head was bowed like you were trying to hold everything inside. It gutted him. But he wasn’t sure if approaching was the right thing to do.
After a moment, he made the choice. He walked the rest of the way to the van, coming to a stop just beside the open door. You didn’t look up at first, didn’t acknowledge his presence. But you knew he was there.
He sat down beside you, careful not to sit too close. The silence between you was thick, heavy with everything unspoken.
“I’m sorry,” Tyler started, his voice low. “For leaving. For abandoning you guys. It wasn’t fair to put all that on you.”
You still didn’t look at him, but he saw the way your hands tightened around your knees.
“I saw the footage,” he continued, trying to offer something, anything that might make it better. “You did great. You really stepped up. Led the team better than I could have.”
You said nothing, just kept your gaze down, the ache in your chest only growing with each word. None of this was what you needed to hear.
Tyler let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look… I talked to Lily. She told me…”
At that, you finally lifted your head, your heart lurching at the sound of those words. She told him. You felt the sting of betrayal—Lily had said too much.
“Tyler, don’t,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.
But he didn’t stop. He needed to say it, needed to acknowledge it. “I didn’t know, okay? I didn’t know you felt that way. And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
You closed your eyes, your breath shaky as you tried to keep it together. “Please… just don’t.”
But he pressed on, his voice softer now. “I do care about you. I really do. But not in the way you want me to.”
Those words felt like a slap, and you swallowed hard, fighting the tears that threatened to fall again.
“I don’t need your apology,” you finally said, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay strong. “I don’t need your pity either.”
Tyler’s brows furrowed. “It’s not pity. I just… I want to make things right.”
You shook your head, letting out a bitter laugh that was more of a sob. “You can’t fix this, Tyler. You can’t just… say you’re sorry and make it all go away.”
He watched you, pain flickering in his eyes. He hated that he had done this to you, hated that his actions had caused you this kind of hurt.
“I never asked for much,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I just wanted to be enough. Enough for you to notice me. To see me.”
Tyler looked away, guilt settling in his gut like a lead weight. “I’m sorry.”
The words fell flat. Meaningless.
You turned away from him, trying to gather the pieces of yourself that felt so shattered. “It was just a stupid crush anyway,” you muttered, forcing a small, hollow laugh. “I’ll get over it.”
But both of you knew that wasn’t true. It wasn’t just a crush. It had been so much more than that. And now… now it felt like you had lost something you couldn’t get back.
Tyler sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “If there’s anything I can do—”
“There’s nothing you can do,” you interrupted, your voice firmer now. “I just want to go back to before. Before I met you. Before I let myself believe there was a chance.”
He stayed silent, not knowing what else to say. He had broken something inside you, and no amount of apologies would fix it.
You wiped your eyes, standing up from the van. “I’ll be fine,” you said quietly, though it was more for yourself than for him.
And with that, you walked away, leaving Tyler sitting there, watching you go, knowing he had lost something he didn’t even realize he had.
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virq-qgo · 4 months ago
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Wolverine x reader
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Uh, yeah i know its been like two years LOL. Literately after posting my last fanfic my dog died of cancer. Got like super depressed lmao.. anyways i watched the new movie and i creamed my pants so i had to write the absolute worst fanfic ever. So like this is a warning, its been two years since ive touched my computer and my skills aren't that good anymore.
summary: going to the bar undercover with the man you hate the most had a twisted turn, not expecting to get shot or telling him your feelings.
warnings: cussing, bad writing, random character death, bad writing, not proof read, and this is really long for no reason..
You didn’t quite understand why you were being dragged along with this so called “mission”
It was just one bad dude who robbed a place, so why were you at a damn bar with the person you hate the most. Everyone was aware of this. You two couldn’t be in the same room together without an argument that almost leads to a fight. So why are you here?
So sitting on the bar stool with a glass of water in your hand, a skirt you were wearing too short and a top that left the mind to wonder. What made the whole situation worse was that your worst enemy was sitting next to you, the wolverine aka Logan Howlett.
You knew he was enjoying this by the way he was ordering shot by shot, it was disgustingly attractive the way the man could pour down the hardest liquor down his throat. Rolling your eyes, you focus back on the bartender, watching him make drinks and showing off to the drunken girlfriends or wives. Obviously ignoring the wicked glares he received from their partners sitting next to them.
“Hey, bartender.” you hear Logan call out. “I need something a little harder than this.”
“Nothing for the beautiful lady sitting next to you?” the man behind the counter smirks as he poured a drink for another customer. Totally ignoring Logan's request.
A soft polite smile sits on your face while trying to stuff down the unpleasant feeling you got from the bartender. “Only if it's on the house.”
“For you?” he smiles, “you can have whatever you like.”
Your eyes crinkle from disgust but to the bartender it was from joy. “Oh, you know how to touch a woman's heart.”
You hear Logan scoff while feeling his dark eyes on you. It’s been 10 minutes since you two have been here and you're already getting underneath his skin.
“Something wrong Logan?” you call him out, turning to face him instead of the creep you call bartender.
Logan rolls his eyes as he tosses his head back and downs his shot. “Show a little boob and wear a tiny skirt, and you get anything you want.” 
“Yeah, I would say you should try it. But you don’t have much to show..”
“Is that how you got here, getting passed around the team?”
 “Yup,” you say with a sarcastic smile on your face while pretending to count to the number 8 on your fingers. “Just gotta get into your pants and then I get my reward.”
Logan looks at you with a face of disgust not sure if you were messing with him or not. “Excuse me?”
Just as soon as you open your mouth to make a smartass comment. A sudden yell echoes across the room then the sound of wood breaking. Both you and Logan twist around to see the scene. There you see the “bad guy” you guys were supposed to be after. He had just brutally smashed someone's head into the table, successfully breaking the table in half.
“That a murder.” the words fall from your lips when you see the broken piece of the table
through the poor soul's head.
“Shut the fuck up you fucking clown. That's our guy.” Logan responded in a whisper. But when he didn't hear a snotty response he twisted his head to look at you, only to find your seat empty. Instead he saw you walking towards the scene, causing a deep growl to fall from his lips. Finding himself to chase after you.
Typically, you would leave this stuff for logan. But the guy was instantly on the run. And you didn’t really have a choice but to chase after him. “Hey excuse me!” You yell at the bad guy, instantly frowning as you see the blood cover his hands and shirt.”where do you think you're going, dude? Breaking that table and killing that poor guy? What an asshole!”
The bad guy looked at you, his brows furrowing. His body filled with rage. Who do you think he is and calling him “dude”. If you were here to stop him, then so be it. But you were just a girl, and women are weak. You were easy to dispose of. “Listen lil’ lady. I'll give you a quick death if you leave me alone.”
“I don’t think so, I need you to come with me anyways.”
The man sighs as he hears the words fall from your lips, “How annoying.” he thought.
“Hey, don’t you fucking run off on me like that.” You hear Logan say as he walks up next to you. Making you roll your eyes and turn your head to face him. 
It was so quick to happen you couldn’t even process it, the only thing that processed that very moment was the ear ringing bang that echoed through the air. Then Logan shouting your name. You remember seeing him running away, his face looking angry. It felt like you were standing there for hours, like you were zoning out. Then you remembered him, the guy you were supposed to get. But as soon as you took that first step, that's when you felt it. Burning pain spreads through your body making you want to cry out. Your hand instinctively reaches out to where you feel the pain, not expecting your hand to be bloodied when you pull it back to inspect it. 
You got shot. 
Now you remember why you guys were supposed to basically kidnap this guy, he was a mutant. His abilities were dangerous. The way he fought was with guns and his bullets being made by his blood, it's how he killed people. It was poisonous.
Soft curses leave your lips as you press your hand tight against your wound, but your blood was still pooling out. You felt weak, like you could barely stand and keep your eyes open. You felt as if you were gonna drop dead at any given moment. But you had to help Logan, you two were supposed to do this together. 
The first step you took, you felt your knee give out. Sending your whole body to the ground, but the impact never came. Instead you feel a strong pair of arms lift up your weak body, your eyes see logan. But you refuse to believe it was him. He wouldn’t do this. Why was your body seeing things?
“You idiot! Why did you run off and chase after him like that? You know you don’t have any special abilities to protect you if he attacked you, so why?” He yelled, Logan was truthfully more scared and worried than angry. He was running as fast as he could to the jet to get you medical aid. But he only had so much time to spare before your body was consumed by the poison.
“What happened?” your voice was soft when you asked.
“You were shot in your chest! I can see the huge fucking hole!”
“I can feel it.” Even though you were basically dying, you couldn’t help but make a simple joke. “Y’know, even though you’re a total dick. You have good arm muscles. I like the way they can hold me so tightly. I feel like a princess.” you smile “If it takes getting shot and dying for you to
care, then maybe i should get shot more often.”
Logan frowns as he hears your comment, still rushing to get you to the jet as fast as possible. “You’re so fucking stupid, you’re not dying. If you wanted me to hold you in my arms then all you had to do was ask bub.” 
A weight of relief went off his soldiers once he saw the jet, he was right there. But when he looked at you, he saw that your hand was pressed against his chest and your eyes were on him. Barely opened. “Hey, stay with me.” he comments. “Keep your eyes open, please. We're almost there!”
Your eyes scrunch together as you see his lips move but no words come out, it didn’t help much that you were fading in and out of consciousness. Growing up, you were told not to be afraid of dying because you could die at any given time. Despite all the missions you’ve been on and how many times you were knocking on death's door. You were never afraid. But today was different, why were you so afraid? Maybe it was because you're dying pathetically, or the fact that you're in the arms of a man you’ve fallen in love with.
“I’m sorry.” you tell him, your voice soft and weak. Blood drips from your lips and down your chin. Your hand grabbing his shirt. Everything was going by so fast. In the middle of a deep silence, you look up into Logans eyes, knowing these might be your last moments together. Pain rushes through your body and words fly out of your mouth before your brain can catch up, and you’re saying what you’ve always wanted to say. “I love you.”
He freezes, shocked at your words. He looks down at you, taking in your face, and the pained look on it. You can see his brain racing like a speeding train, and his breath catches in his throat. “You’re an idiot. Why did you wait till this point?”
“I- I thought I would have more time.” was all you managed to say before shutting your eyes.
Finally, Logan runs up the rail of the jet and sets you on the cot. Watching the aids surround you, immediately taking quick action. With the flight there and taking you into emergency surgery. They finally came up to Logan, who fell asleep in the infirmary's waiting room. Telling him that you were okay and would make a good recovery.
Without wasting a single second, Logan rushed to your room. His heart dropped once he saw your frail, weak body. Connecting to different types of wires and IVs. He felt terrible, guilt consumed his body as thoughts raked his mind, he could've prevented all of this, all of your pain. Only if he was faster.
Logan found himself staring at your body, wanting to reach out and take your hand. He pulled up the chair by your bed and sat down, his eyes switching from your resting body to the monitor. Finally mustering the courage to take hold of your hand. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t quick enough, I should’ve been the one. But I was so fucking slow, in my own god damn bloody mind.And  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I love you back, I was just so scared. Scared that if I told you, I would never get to tell you so again. I was so fucking selfish. But holy shit, I'm so in love with you. It hurts so much. But I'll make sure to tell you every single chance I get. I love you.”
“You better get started.” you say with a smile on your face. 
Logan looks at you in a state of shock, not expecting you to be awake. Without holding back, he basically launches himself onto you. Wrapping his arms around your weak figure, wanting to hold you tight but being so gentle with you. “You’re okay” he breathes out of relief, “You’re an idiot, but you’re okay.”
“I love you too by the way.” The smile on your face was wide, you were in so much pain. But you were so happy. Never in your life did you think you would be here, but here you are. In the arms of the man you’ve pretended to hate for so long.
“Oh shut your pretty little mouth.” Was all he said before pressing his soft warm lips against yours. 
If someone had asked you what it was like getting shot, you would probably tell them it hurt really fucking bad and wouldn’t recommend it. But if they asked you on a personal level. You would tell them that you would do it again if it meant that you got to see Logan care for you. But it still hurt like a fucking bitch.
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flawseer · 2 months ago
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In your last ask, you mentioned misgivings with Book 10's ending, and especially how it pertains to Winter. I absolutely agree, and I know why, but I wanna hear your thoughts on it, too: What's up with Book 10?
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The following is a (very long) examination of my personal feelings with regards to the WoF second story arc finale. While it is based on what is in the text, this analysis will be interpretive and fill in blanks with my own thoughts. Keep that in mind.
Hahhhh... okay. Since mentioning it in my last post I’ve gotten several requests to talk about my feelings regarding the second arc finale. There’s probably no way around it then.
If you haven’t read that last post (it was admittedly very long, and so will this one be), I talked briefly about why I didn’t like that part of the story. I have to warn you now, this will likely be the most negative and dour post in the history of this blog. In a few parts it will sound like I hate Wings of Fire, and I want to say now, while I still have the chance, that I don’t. I love this series, thinking about its setting and characters brings me joy.
I also—very emphatically—want to make it clear that I have no ill will against Tui T. Sutherland. I’ve looked around other people’s stuff a bit and there are a huge number of posts wishing violence upon her or threatening her for doing things to her series that people don’t agree with. That is NOT what I am doing here, shit like that is NOT okay! While I will be critical of her choices, I still respect her effort of bringing this vibrant, wonderful world of dragons to all of us.
Also, obligatory last disclaimer: If you liked the finale, that is okay. You are valid for feeling that way. I’m here to share my point of view, not to demand people agree with everything I say. Just be warned that you most likely won’t enjoy what I have to say. If you don’t think you can handle that kind of criticism, this is your guilt-free opportunity to stop reading.
Otherwise, let's get into it.
CW: Discussion of parental abuse, depression, disease, and extreme acts of violence.
In defense of the finale
Before I start to systematically disassemble this narrative and get lost in a quagmire of negativity, let’s talk a bit about the circumstances that brought forth this part of the story. The plot of this arc was a mess from the moment animus magic was unshackled from the restrictions it had in the first arc, and from then on there was no longer any conceivable way to end this story in a clean way. Sutherland had created an invincible, unbeatable, omnipotent villain; he could read minds, see the future with perfect clarity, and anything he could imagine he could conjure into existence at any time with no cost to himself and no drawbacks. She was likely wracking her brain about how to resolve this impossible conundrum. What we got wasn’t good, but I believe nothing could have been. The foundation was rotting and by the fifth book it couldn’t bear the weight of the plot anymore.
The thing about animus magic in arc 2 is that it is so potent, so all-powerful, and so free of restraint that everyone who uses it also HAS to be a simpleton, or they would be able to break the plot immediately and become god. From the moment Darkstalker broke out of that mountain, he could have said “Any and all spells that are cast with the intention to harm me, interfere with my plans, or do something I don’t consent to will not work, from now on until forever”, and he would have instantly won. The strawberry would have fizzled out. The Darkstalker-blocking earrings would not have been created, and no one could have saved the Icewings. On the flipside, Turtle or Anemone could have said “I enchant the concept of animus magic itself to no longer obey Darkstalker”, and his threat would have been neutered. Point is, powers as potent and easy to use as this really need limitations, or they will quickly eat your plot alive.
I don’t envy the situation Sutherland was in at the time at all. If you’re an author, that kind of thing is a nightmare. It really is no wonder she decided to blow up animus magic for good in her next arc, even if I would have preferred it to get more healthy restrictions instead of killing it outright.
The Darkstalker age regression thing
Everyone has talked this part to death already, but if I am to write a thorough analysis of my feelings regarding this finale, I’m going to have to talk about it as well. I’m sorry if I end up repeating a lot of things you’ve already heard.
This final fate of Darkstalker, to have his memories wiped and be reset to an infant, is really uncomfortable. As far as I am aware, though correct me if I’m wrong, Sutherland said in an interview that she didn’t want Darkstalker to die because, in her view, he did not deserve to. We can debate here about the philosophical question of whether anyone is truly deserving of death, and the merits of “justice” and “punishment”, but in general, Wings of Fire did not seem to have any issues killing off its villains prior if they committed suitably terrible acts. That makes this moment stand out as noteworthy.
Who is Darkstalker then--and if we assume villains can be “deserving” and “not deserving” of death--what about him speaks in his favor, or against? The guy had a pretty crappy childhood, coming from a broken home (there is that inadequate parent theme again). He genuinely loved his sister and felt protective of her, and whenever he liked someone he wanted them to be happy and feel affirmed. The thing that Queen Diamond does to his mother is awful and he is justified in hating her for it. He is also portrayed as rather sympathetic in Moon Rising. When he asks Moon to find his scroll for him and not to leave him, he is not manipulating her, he is sincerely begging for her help. He is stuck somewhere underground, trapped in darkness, in a space so tiny that he can’t move. He remains that way for months, lonely and sad. If you just focus on these aspects, it’s easy to understand why he has so many fans who want him to see healthy and happy.
On the flipside, while he is dedicated to the happiness of his friends, he doesn’t always go for the most ethical way to achieve it. He tries to brainwash said friends without their consent whenever they exhibit behaviors he doesn’t like, or when he thinks he knows better and wants to “fix” them. He has very little regard for other people’s autonomy, lies to his loved ones with alarming frequency, and is unhealthily attached to the idea of power. Those things are certainly not good, but they are his character flaws. These are his demons; everyone has them and they make him a person. If this was all there was to it, he might still be a villain, but I’d argue he’d not be wholly irredeemable.
But there are things about him that take him beyond the pale. Things that go beyond the realm of just being misunderstood, or easily excusable.
He is possessive. He wants Clearsight and Fathom for himself, and for them to listen to him primarily. When Indigo makes it clear she doesn’t like him and cautions Fathom against trusting him, he deceives his friends and traps Indigo in a wood carving, just so he can isolate Fathom from his support network and manipulate him easier. He alters Clearsight’s mind to make her more agreeable and stop her from holding him accountable for his actions; while he thinks he loves her, he only loves an idealized version of her that is wholly devoted to and unquestioning of him. This is why, when he later forcibly overwrites Fierceteeth’s existence to recreate her (which is another horrific thing), he tries to excise the parts he finds undesirable to create a perfect version of his lover. But this caricature he has created in his head is not and can never be Clearsight, which frustrates his attempts.
He is vengeful. Not against people who have actually wronged him, like Queen Diamond. That would be questionable, but understandable. What makes this unacceptable is his frequent targeting of innocent people who just happen to be related to the person who wronged him in some esoteric way. He enchants a secret murder knife that kills random Icewings regardless of who they are or what they think about the Queen, just because the one who took his mother from him happened to share their tribe. He hates Turtle and wishes death upon him in Moon Rising just because he is a green Seawing, like Fathom was. And then there is the big one: He tries to kill all the Icewings who are alive in the present day, where Queen Diamond is long dead and none of them have ever even met her. Even his mother, who suffered from Diamond’s actions the most and has the most reason to hate her, is horrified and calls him out on that one.
And lastly, he is sadistic. He revels in torturing those he hates. He forces his father to disembowel himself, while the latter is fully aware and powerless to resist AND the man’s traumatized daughter is watching. Later he sends a magical plague to kill every single living Icewing sans one.
It should be noted that Darkstalker possesses virtually infinite magical power; whatever he declares, with very few exceptions, will happen. Even if he wanted them dead, he had the power to prevent unnecessary suffering. He could have said “Arctic, fall dead instantaneously”, or “Every Icewing will fall asleep and pass away peacefully,” but he didn’t. He wanted them to feel pain and pass away in the most wretched, agonizing ways he could imagine.
So what he chose to do instead is—and I want you to picture this for a moment—Darkstalker sat down, calmly, and said “Henceforth every living Icewing, excepting Prince Winter and those of hybrid blood, will fall ill with an incurable disease. This disease will cause heavy internal bleeding and make its victims cough up blood and waste away for a few days, followed by certain death.”
This spell does not discriminate with regards to who its victims are. The book glosses over the implications, but imagine the ramifications. Young children are notoriously frail, how many newborns got infected and died because of this? How many families were torn apart because they couldn’t get the magic earrings fast enough? Or accidentally got one earring less than there were family members and had to decide who has to die?
Most of the Icewings were physically cured by the earrings, but an experience like that sticks with you for the rest of your life. Somewhere surely, a dragonet watched as his mother put the earring on him and then slowly wasted away because she didn’t have one for herself.
It’s really easy to overlook how horrific this spell is because it isn’t shown or dwelt on. But the trauma, grief, and suffering it caused must have been immeasurable.
And none of those victims have ever even met the person Darkstalker wanted to get revenge on. None of those deaths meant anything to anyone.
The attempted death toll and scale of the calamity here puts even Scarlet to shame. The ones who come closest to it were Queen Battlewinner and Morrowseer with their attempted Rainwing extermination. All three of those died for what they did. Gives you some food for thought for sure.
Peacemaker’s burden
Despite just airing all of his dirty laundry and declaring him an irredeemable villain, I actually do have a lot of sympathy for Darkstalker still. His story is really sad. He was a child born with an amount of power that nobody should possess, and it corrupted him to the point where it destroyed his life before it began. His parents were always fighting and no matter how good his intentions were, he was unable to understand why he couldn’t hold on to his friends and relationship. He kept making mistakes, then made bigger mistakes to fix those, until his hands were covered in blood and he couldn’t stop anymore. My belief is that, after he wakes up in the present and realizes Clearsight is dead, he loses his reason for living and becomes completely lost in his grief.
Therefore, my opinion is that it would have been appropriate for him to die. If not to punish him, then to finally grant him reprieve from all that rage and pain, and let him rest. I think that would have been a dignified end.
But instead he got turned into a baby. ... And then they decided to magically erase his father’s blood from him? I don’t know what it is, but something about that Icewing erasure makes my skin crawl?
The thing that turns this baby twist from weird into highly unsettling is the context. Darkstalker’s mind is erased, then modified into a new person via animus magic. This is the technique a lot of this arc’s villains used to victimize Hailstorm, Queen Ruby, Peril, Kinkajou, Fierceteeth, and Winter. The same technique is now used again, by the heroes, which is a dangerous thing to have your protagonists do if you want them to remain morally upright.
It is also very reckless, because in almost all of these instances, animus mind alteration has been shown to be very unreliable. The spells seem to wear down over time and are susceptible to partial breaking upon encountering certain strong stimuli. Hailstorm—while trapped as Pyrite—seems to retain trace amounts of his former memories, which is why Pyrite is subconsciously drawn to Winter and clings to him all the time. Ruby is able to ignore half of her conditioning because her familial love for her son partially overpowers the magic. Qibli is just straight up able to reason his way out of it.
The thing to note here is that spells of this nature require a very meticulous approach; you can’t half-ass your reprogramming or the victim will just think their way past it. If you alter someone’s mind, the wording of the spell must be ironclad, lest you risk it wearing down over time and even break.
Luckily we have nothing to fear in that regard, because the spell that created Peacemaker was written by a Rainwing with a total of four days of literacy training. No one better mention the name Clearsight to the new baby Nightwing, or next month is going to be rather interesting.
But that’s just speculation on my part. Let’s assume that, somehow, this spell isn’t as unstable as all the others. Somehow Kinkajou threaded all the needles, and masterfully dodged every conceivable pitfall to pen the perfect incantation, despite having been illiterate just a few weeks prior. This one is built to last and Darkstalker is sealed away really thoroughly, for good.
That is still absolutely terrible and morally dubious, because now you have Peacemaker, who for all intents and purposes is a COMPLETELY innocent little kid, saddled with this huge burden of being the certifiable reincarnation of a genocidal ancient wizard. He’s gonna grow up thinking things like “Mommy gets real quiet whenever the topic of the Icewing tragedy is brought up,” and “Why does Auntie Moon look at me like that? One time she accidentally called me a weird name, who is Darkstalker?” “What is this ‘Clearsight’ name my mind-reading friends from the village found in Mommy’s mind?”
In a village that will be full of mind-readers soon, eventually the secret will come out, and Peacemaker is going to learn what was done to him. A huge, messy load of undeserved baggage was forced onto this completely separate, innocent entity. He will be devastated. Whether he then chooses to forgive them for this remains to be seen. To be honest, he would be well within his right not to, and turn resentful.
Poor kid.
Qibli’s callousness
I love Qibli, he is one of my favorite characters. This happens to be his book, and the fact that I fundamentally dislike half of it makes me rather sad. If anything, I hope this tells you that I’m not just hating on it for my personal amusement. I really wanted to like this. I tried to, and I couldn’t.
Qibli is really weird in this one, to be honest. He is suddenly made to be co-dependent on Moonwatcher, fawning over her every third paragraph, saying how much he loves her, how he is an incomplete and dysfunctional wreck without her, how it physically pains him to be apart from her, oh if only the stars would grant his wish and split the mountains apart so that he may fly to his princess, his muse, his goddess of ebony wit. It gets so old.
And it’s not Qibli. He never acted this clingy towards Moonwatcher. It’s more intense than even Winter gets about Moon, and Winter was actually depicted with a crush on her in book 6. Qibli was always just a supportive element, eager to befriend Moon but never desperate, like he is going to keel over if he is separated from his true love five minutes longer. These very frequent love declarations feel so forced coming out of him. It strikes me like it was just written in service of the love triangle. Maybe if we make him confess his love every four seconds readers will overlook the fact that they had no proper romantic build-up.
You might rightly accuse me of bias. I have previously admitted I am fond of Qibli/Winter as a romantic pairing, on the surface this seems like I am just not happy with my pet ship being blocked by Moonwatcher. But I assure you, I am actually pretty flexible and accommodating even towards pairings that contradict my preferences. I have no issues with Winter/Moonwatcher, for example, because the possibility was properly established and they have good romantic chemistry in Winter Turning. In theory, I would have no problem with Qibli/Moonwatcher either if it was ever set up as an interesting romantic dynamic. But to me, it seems like Qibli is written as a good, supportive friend to Moon for four books, only to pivot hard into “Moon moon moon moon moon moon swoon” at the last second, and it just reads to me as obnoxious.
I got distracted. This section is called “Qibli’s callousness”, and I haven’t even talked about the main part.
Qibli and Winter have excellent chemstry together, whether you read it as romantic or platonic—both of these interpretations have merit and are set up. They’re always the highlight of any scene they’re in. Throughout the story arc you get the impression that these two really get on each other’s nerves, but they bond and grow into really strong friends who bicker a lot but have each other’s backs when it counts.
Then there is a scene where Qibli casually tells Winter that he wouldn’t object if someone wanted to mind-control away some of Winter’s more objectionable traits.
This is genuinely a terrible thing to say to your friend. Like, it crosses a line and ceases to be harmless banter; you’re just telling them that there is something you hate about them so much that you wish they were someone else. Winter actually WAS mind-controlled earlier and felt (and proably still feels) guilty about having attacked Qibli in that state. And now Qibli says “Hey, I wouldn’t mind if someone did that to you again! Hue hue!”
It is awful, BUT I don’t necessarily object to Qibli saying this here. Qibli is in the middle of his character arc at this moment, so he is expected to be flawed. He is making a mistake by thoughtlessly telling Winter this horrid thing, and it seems like a believable continuation of his current character track. This is a reasonable development as long as the plot acknowledges that it’s a mistake.
Spoilers: The plot doesn’t acknowledge that it’s a mistake. Qibli never has a scene after where he reflects upon what he said and apologizes to Winter. When Darkstalker has Qibli trapped in his mountain jail and mind-wipes Qibli’s grandfather into a toddler (hey, wait a minute), Qibli gets visibly disturbed. Like, this is so off-putting to him that he gets queasy and Darkstalker hastily changes the spell. That could have been a great way to bring this back. Like in the epilogue, have Qibli track down Winter and tell him about disturbing baby grandpa theater and how he realized that wiping people’s minds is actually messed up and should have never said that to him.
But he doesn’t. He just lets Winter go, allowing him to believe he is broken and needs magical intervention to be tolerable. It leaves me to think that maybe he’s still okay with it, and fantasizing about rewriting his friend’s mind. Great.
Moonwatcher’s character death
You will find as this goes on that, I get the impression that the second half of this book takes all of the wonderful, endearing characters I have learned to love throughout the story and replaces them with really mean, or stupid, or otherwise inaccurate caricatures.
Moonwatcher’s relationship with Darkstalker gets plenty of setup and development in Moon Rising. You get the sense that these two could be great friends if their circumstances were a little different. It does a great job at making you think maybe Darkstalker is just misunderstood; maybe Moon should free him from his predicament.
Then at the end of Escaping Peril comes the emotional gut punch. Darkstalker actually IS a villain. He callously admits to Moonwatcher that he used his magic to make his own father gruesomely disembowel himself. Moonwatcher is horrified and disgusted that he would do that. There is no circumstance in which something like that would ever be okay. She ends the scene awash in tears because the person she thought was her friend is a murderer and a sadist. This is good, that is a natural reaction to what she was just told.
A few hours from there, in Talons of Power, Turtle finds Moon again and she is completely cool with Darkstalker walking free, despite crying her eyes out after feeling so betrayed earlier. That may seem strange, but this is still good because later, Darkstalker’s mind control plot is discovered. This scene was obviously written to set that up, Moon is mind-controlled into forgetting that Darkstalker could do something that morally reprehensible, and thus forgives him. This is also completely in line with his characterization in Legends: Darkstalker. It’s a kind of stunt he would pull to get Clearsight to shut up about him slipping into villainy.
In my earlier post I alluded to a moment where Moon is set to narrative auto-pilot and says something so rampantly off-kilter that it does irreversible, permanent damage to her character. It happens here, in the second half of book 10. Qibli gives Moon the Darkstalker protection earring, and Moon, somehow, says “I’m not being mind-controlled, Darkstalker really is my friend.”
I get what the plot tries to do here. It’s taking this concept of mind-control and adding a nuance, in an attempt to flesh out Darkstalker and give his character depth. He is ready to control everyone in the world, but for Moon, who is his best friend in this era, he wants her to remain herself. Perhaps this is his attempt at attonement for playing with Clearsight’s mind and driving her away from him. It is very touching in a way, viewed in isolation.
Unfortunately, it does not work with the full context of all the books. Because Moon is in auto-pilot mode right now, her main character trait is “Darkstalker=Friend,” so naturally she would speak in support of him. But this revelation has devastating retroactive consequences. The earlier scene that was written with Moon under mind-control is now altered into her having been in her right mind! She is completely okay with Darkstalker’s admittance to cold-blooded torture and evisceration, within hours of being so shocked by it that it made her cry and ready to denounce him. That is such a quick turnaround it’s giving me whiplash. And what’s more it turns Moon from a principled, upstanding girl into a sociopath who casually accepts gruesome torture and murder if it is committed by someone she likes.
Did Sutherland forget about the scene two books ago, where Darkstalker’s actions were so inconceivably horrid for Moon to learn of that she started crying? It baffles me that this made it into the final version. Her saying she was never mind-controlled makes Moon come off as so awful. This torture-excusing lunatic is not the same kind-hearted and insightful character I followed in all the other books.
Kinkajou’s character derailment
The world is a sad place when I have to question the way Kinjajou is written. Fortunately she is mostly fine, despite her having the biggest excuse to act out-of-character since she’s the victim of a mind-altering spell. Her only real moment of “what!?” comes at the end.
I already talked about her role in casting the spell that regresses Darkstalker into an infant. But I didn’t mention how her being the source of it is questionable in itself.
The clue is in the first paragraph of this section: She herself has experienced the effects of invasive mind-alteration. She was cursed by Anemone in the previous book to be in love with Turtle, and kind of half-struggles kind of not with it, it’s really strange. Turtle is appropriately horrified and acts like really awful things are happening, but then it’s mostly played lightly for some reason. My assumption is that Sutherland introduced this plot point, but then realized how uncomfortable this premise really is and tried to downplay it until the story got to a point where it could get done away with.
But I think the takeaway is still supposed to be that this was a horrid thing to do (which it absolutely is), and that Kinkajou will have to spend a lot of time trying to untangle her real emotions from the fake ones the spell created.
The point is: Kinkajou knows first-hand how awful it is to do something like that to another person. Ideally she should never even conceive of the idea to cast a spell like that, but if we’re really set on this Darkstalker baby thing and it has to happen, she should at least be a bit hesitant about it. And afterwards she should struggle with the guilt of having resorted to it. Not celebrate it and be proud, like it’s funny.
The assassination of Winter’s future
Now we come to the part I’ve alluded to previously; the part where all of these threads converge to utterly destroy one character and drive him to the brink of ruin. Let’s talk about Winter.
Prince Winter is the son of Tundra and Prince Narwhal, hatching in the same clutch as his sister Icicle. He spent his formative years being unfavorably compared to said sister—who easily took to traits that Icewing royalty considers desirable—whereas Winter struggled greatly to embody those same ideals. He was just a little too kind, too merciful, too gentle. As a result he often had to endure abuse from his parents, who made him feel like he was defective.
Because he was young and didn’t have any other frame of reference, he embraced this abusive narrative and began to drive himself with a vigor unreasonable for someone of his age. He scraped and cloyed for every bit of credit he could get, obsessing over advancing up the circle rankings in an attempt to “purge” the wrongness out of himself. To make his parents as proud of him as they were of Icicle.
This never worked. He was always seen as the runt, poised to embarrass the family name. Whatever he did, no matter how hard he strived, there was always something he could have done better.
The only real source of love and affirmation in his life was his older brother, Hailstorm. Where everyone else only saw what Winter wasn’t, Hailstorm embraced his brother despite of his “failings” and was openly affectionate with him. When Winter was with him, it was okay to not think about rankings all the time, and just be himself for a bit. I assume Hailstorm fulfilled a similar role for Icicle as well, which is why both of them love him dearly, and Icicle destroys her own life to bring him back.
Winter also has a fascination with scavengers, possibly because they are small and perceived as useless, like he himself is. He likely feels a kinship with them and observes them being craftier and more adept than everyone else sees them. This is therapeutic for him, to see that a thing can have merit even if no one wants to see it.
One day, he and Hailstorm sneak into Skywing territory so Winter can catch a scavenger as a pet. This excursion turns hostile when they are discovered by a roaming Skywing troop and faced with the prospect of capture, possibly execution. In a gambit to save Winter from this fate, Hailstorm mirrors the words of his parents, calling Winter pathetic and useless, so the Skywings will not think of him as a threat and show mercy. His act succeeds in convincing the Skywings, but it also convinces Winter, who does not understand Hailstorm only said these things to save his life. He returns home—believing his brother hated him all along—to face the wrath of his furious family for losing them “the desirable son”.
For all of his life, these themes have repeated themselves and haunted him. “I was born wrong and defective,” “I am unlovable,” “No one wants me.”
A few months after the war ends, Winter is one of the five Icewings enrolled in the newly founded Jade Mountain Academy. Shortly after departing, he unexpectedly returns home, having successfully rescued his older brother and bringing him back. He is made to believe that this erases his mistakes, his mother even pays him a backhanded compliment, an uncharacteristically “nice” gesture. He is promoted to the top of the rankings, finally his parents are proud of him.
But of course it is all a trick. The “adoration” afforded to him was all a ploy. Secretly, his parents abused power and tradition to arrange for Winter’s death. They force him into a lethal trial they intentionally rigged against him, all to finally erase that stain on their family’s honor.
Winter finally realizes the true nature of his parents’ opinion of him. Even when he succeeds, and does everything right, he is still defective, unlovable, and unwanted. He will never be anything else to his family. And so he leaves his homeland, pretending he is dead, resigned to live in hiding forever.
During this time, while at the brink of despair, Winter is able to draw strength from one source: His new friends from the academy. He vocalizes that, for all the abuse he suffered at the hands of his birth family, he fervently believes that THEY would never do anything like that to him. They chose to stuck with him, even when he was awful, and told him he was not hopeless. He was not a mistake; he could be deserving of love.
So naturally, he returns to them; they accept him readily, are willing to be his new surrogate family. When he almost burns to death at a later point, they fear and weep for him. When Qibli sets out to confront his own abusive family, Winter, despite being mind-controlled into a placid potato at the time, feels concerned enough for his friend’s safety to insist to come along (returning the favor of them accompanying him in his time of need in book 7). When Darkstalker’s mind control forces Winter to attack Qibli, he is shown ashamed and guilty of it once the control wears off again.
They bicker and struggle, and make mistakes, they break up but always come back together again. Time and time again the one thing that is always reinforced: When the cards are down, Winter loves his friends, and they love him. They would never intentionally hurt each other, or give up on each other.
I want you to keep in mind how wholesome, and loving, and mutually supportive this ramshackle band of misfits has been portrayed to this point... Because we’re moving on to the arc 2 finale, and it will do everything it can to corrupt all of it and consign Winter to a life of misery.
We arrive at aforementioned scene, where Moonwatcher receives her earring. Just a little bit prior, Winter had learned that Darkstalker unleashed a magical plague onto his people in an attempt to wipe them out. Now here is Moonwatcher, revealing that she is not under any spell, and has aligned herself with this guy willingly, speaking fondly of him as if he was a dear friend who never did any wrong. Winter takes this badly and accidentally breaks a vase; the narrative lingers on this moment and really tries to sell us on how unreasonable Winter’s reaction is, how he is overreacting, but let’s examine that interpretation for a moment.
Moonwatcher doesn’t yet know about the attempted Icewing genocide, but she DOES know about Darkstalker being okay with casting spells to inflict immeasurable torture upon those he hates. WE know that she knows this, so her stance here is already suspect. Yet she goes on to praise Darkstalker and refer to him as a friend. Look at this from Winter’s perspective. This “friend” of Moonwatcher just tried to kill his entire tribe, and he actually succeeded in killing his aunt, Queen Glacier, a person Winter greatly respects. Winter is currently unable to return to his homeland for fear of being branded a traitor. Even if he could return, he knows his obstinate and spiteful family would prevent him from attending the funeral, meaning he is not even afforded the basic dignity of saying farewell to his aunt. The aunt whom Darkstalker murdered by making her vomit her own blood until she withered away in her bed. And here is Moon, absolving the person who did this to Glacier from his appalling actions, despite knowing full well what Darkstalker is capable of and choosing to look away.
I don’t know about you, but I think I can forgive the grieving, emotionally overwhelmed boy for shattering a little pottery after hearing his trusted friend—who held his hand when he was dying—say that the guy who makes people disembowel themselves and wipes out entire countries may be misunderstood and not so bad. I think I would have a similar reaction. In fact, I would never want to talk to her ever again.
There is no way I can read this scene in which Moon doesn’t come off as either an absolute lunatic, or critically stupid and callous. In fact, based on her earlier behavior I half-expect her to get over the news of the attempted Icewing massacre in a couple hours, saying “Eh, it’s kinda bad, but you just have to do these kinds of things sometimes, you know? I’m sure he had his reasons.”
Then there is the part where Qibli makes his off-color comment about how Winter’s brain could really use a good wash. I already went into how it could have worked but didn’t. But with the timing here, we’ve already had Moon spit on their friendship, so as Winter’s other closest friend, it naturally follows that Qibli also craps on his feelings.
Consider the context: Winter comes from an abusive household where his parents forcibly tried to change him away from who he was to purge the “wrongness” from him. When they betray him and he narrowly escapes their attempt on his life, he re-affirms his belief in his friends, and the knowledge that they wouldn’t treat him like that gives him the strength he needs to keep going. But now, Qibli asserts that Winter DOES need to be altered, thereby AGREEING with Winter’s abusive parents, rendering Winter’s affirmation from book 7 erroneous. Qibli WOULD treat him like that if it made Winter less “intolerable”.
Neither Moonwatcher nor Qibli ever make an attempt to repair this rift. Winter is left betrayed and alone.
Stuff happens, and the forces of the Nightwings and Icewings come to blows over Jade Mountain. With his two closest friends having written him off and his support network eroded, Winter relapses into thinking he is worthless, seeks validation in unquestioning patriotism, and realigns himself with his abusive family by throwing himself into the battle. Nobody wants him to, in fact his parents still hate him for it, but whatever. His father dies and his mother blames him for it.
Meanwhile Turtle, Anemone, and Qibli are cooking up a solution to the battle problem. They have the idea to make everyone’s minds connect in a huge empathy wave for a few moments, which I think is a pretty interesting idea for what it’s worth. But then they teleport both armies back to their homes, and the spell sweeps Winter up with them, taking him out of the rest of the finale and bringing him to the Ice Kingdom. The characters say “whoops” but aren’t further concerned with the situation. It’s all a big laugh.
Let me remind you that Winter is currently considered not welcome on Icewing territory. His family, whom he was sent back with, is extremely abusive and vindictive. His friends know this. Said parents have previously arranged for him to be killed, and are still on record as wanting him dead. His friends KNOW this. And now he is alone with them and a gaggle of other royal Icewings who all are extremely pissed off at him for ruining their sacred trial site.
It is very possible that he is being torn apart and mauled by an enraged mob right now. He could be forced into captivity and flayed. Maybe the interim regent is sentencing him to death and getting the rope ready. There is a million different horrible things that could be happening to Winter right now, while he is trapped alone with people who hate him, things his friends would be reasonably able to anticipate. And nobody is doing anything to get him out of there, to suggest bringing him back, even though it would only take a single spoken sentence to do so! They aren’t even concerned!
Then the climax happens, strawberry thing and all, and we get the coup de grâce. After all is said and done, the group decides that Winter is untrustworthy, and that they must protect the secret of Darkstalker’s fate from him, because they fear if he knew he would kill Peacemaker.
Moon, who read Winter’s mind in book 6 and reached out to him about how the “ruthless Icewing warrior” persona in his head is a facade and how she sees he has a gentle and good heart... Moon, who in book 7 finds out about Winter’s secret deal to kill Glory and STILL trusts him, who calls out his bullshit to his face because she KNOWS how kind-hearted Winter is and that he would never resort to murder... Moon who, again, held his hand while he was dying... thinks that the dragon she has reminded of his compassionate nature time and time again would kill an innocent child.
This is disgusting. Moon believing that is so far off the mark with regards to anything this group has embodied or done for any of the last 4 books, that my only conclusion can be that these are different characters. Maybe the Nightwing library collapsed on top of original Moon, and when Darkstalker magiced her back to health she came back wrong or something. I don’t know.
So after all of this, Winter is left alone. He somehow escaped from the Ice Kingdom; luckily there is a timeskip so we can just gloss over the horrible situation he was put in by his friends. He thinks about Jade Mountain. He reflects on everything that happened, how his parents never really loved him... How they hated him so much they tried to kill him... How he despaired, but found solace in his friends who loved him for who he was.... How those friends then betrayed him too and magiced him away... How they didn’t care about what happened to him... And he decides he is done. He won’t bother going back. A few people, probably Sunny, reach out to tell him he is welcome back, but he says “it wouldn’t be fair to other Icewings if an exile took up a bed”. The decision isn’t hard to make, after all there is nothing left for him there. Everyone has written him off, moved on and left him behind.
Kinkajou visits sometimes, tries to stay in touch, but that’s just how she is. Maybe the others sent her to check on whether he’s going to become troublesome. They don’t trust him. Better to keep an eye on him, he might kill the baby.
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With nowhere else to go, Winter moves to Sanctuary, a place for rejects like him. I picture him standing there, at the edge of a cliff staring blankly into the distance. He is completely alone; no one wants to go near him or talk to him beyond the bare necessities. He could probably make new friends with the Talons of Peace if he tried, but there is no point. Why should someone like him have friends? It wouldn’t work. They’d just decide he is too inconvenient to be around. Sooner or later they would just tell him to leave anyway. It's better not to try, so he doesn't get hurt again.
And slowly it dawns on him. His parents had been right all along. It was never them, or the others, it was him. He is the problem. The Icewings said it, Qibli said it, Moonwatcher said it. There is just something fundamentally wrong with him.
He is defective. He is unlovable. Nobody wants him. He will never be anything, or have anyone. And so he stands at the cliff, looking over the broken vase fragments of his life... This is who he is. Prince Winter. A mistake.
And quietly, where no one knows or cares, he does the only thing he has left to do... he begins to weep.
As it is written, the tale of Winter is the story of a boy who is told he is wrong for being alive. He closes his ears and tries to keep walking forward, desperate to prove that he is not an error, that he has merit. But this book comes out and it unmistakably says that he doesn’t. He is nothing, and he deserves to have nothing.
And I just cannot accept that.
Why did this have to happen?
I think that the author was really struggling with the ending of this book. I’ve said before how much of a corner she wrote herself into with such an invincible villain. I think she came up with the strawberry idea as a solution to this problem. But as she was writing it, the characters kept fighting her. It was not a natural solution, not a decision the characters—as they were established—would ever make.
So concessions had to be made to force the issue. Established traits had to be bent slightly to make this plot work. The farther she went, the worse it got. The concessions piled up and turned into contrivances. Eventually the characters were no longer acting like themselves. Their bonds got stretched too far and some snapped. It’s a very tragic pitfall that occurs with long-running series.
I think Sutherland must have also been tired. Writing an entire book is a monumental task, and writing 6 connected ones even moreso. She also comes out with these things really quickly. Maybe she was burnt out? Maybe she wanted to be done and her attention lapsed. Maybe that’s why she forgot that Moon knew about the disemboweling. It seems reasonable to believe when you consider that the next story arc would make a relatively clean break from the problems of this arc, especially with regards to the magic system.
But I don’t know what ultimately happened, so I can only speculate. I reiterate, I bear no ill will against Sutherland for writing this. Even if I kind of hate everything about this finale, and very vocally wish it would be different, I don’t want this examination to generate (or reawaken) any hatred towards her, or to attack her personally. I understand the pain of an artist who gets trapped with something for too long and has to find the means, any means, to see it through to the end. I criticize the story, but I could never hate anyone for that.
But for me, I do not consider this half of the book as part of the story. The characters act too unnaturally for it to have happened. So to me, it didn’t. We don’t know what happened, maybe Darkstalker is still out there. Maybe they dealt with him. Maybe what actually happened is my crappy and self-indulgent rewrite of the ending which I will never show to anyone because it would be really embarrassing.
But whatever actually ended up happening, I am sure Winter never ended up at that cliff, pondering how worthless and meaningless his life was. He is currently at Jade Mountain, surrounded by friends who love him, and bickering with Qibli about the correct solution to their advanced calculus assignment that is due tomorrow.
Is there anything left to say?
Probably.
I didn’t talk about Anemone yet. You know, in the epilogue she enchants herself a bracelet that makes her “not be so mean all the time”. I find that creepy. To me it reads as Anemone voluntarily brainwashing herself with magic to erase her negative traits instead of growing past them naturally because she finds them undesirable and wants to work to change for the better. I would ordinarily assume that this is an overreaction on my part, and I’m just reading the scene wrong. But no, we just got through a part where the heroes brainwashing someone is treated as an unequivocal good and worthy of celebration, so I think my reading may actually be spot on. Why are we letting the little kid alter her own brain without supervision? Hello? Tsunami? Someone intervene maybe? This cannot be healthy.
Turtle stands out to me as the one bright spot in all of this. He (and Peril, but she’s mostly out of focus) remain as the only main characters of this arc who don’t have any mind-boggling out-of-character moments or sudden streaks of uncharacteristic callousness. I really like the part where Qibli goes to free Turtle from his captivity and plans to give him an earful about the comically unhelpful messages he’s been sending him. But when Turtle asks if what he did was helpful, Qibli sees how beaten down and exhausted Turtle is, and wordlessly drops his frustration to tell him “Yeah, they were helpful.” That is the true Qibli shining through for a moment, showing that he cares about the well-being of his friends.
Do I hate the pairing of Qibli/Moonwatcher? No. Well, I DO hate how it happened in the book, and how the story tried to assassinate Winter’s character to resolve the love triangle and make it happen. I don’t hate it on principle though. If you are a fan of Qibli/Moonwatcher and want to write fanfics about it, please do! I absolutely encourage you to do that! Maybe you can fix this mess and turn it into something that’s actually properly handled!
Mightyclaws keeps the power that Darkstalker granted him past the finale. That means all the spells that Darkstalker cast are technically still active. Does that mean the Icewings have to wear earrings for the rest of their lives? Do they get sick again if they take them off? Is Peril forever cursed to think of Darkstalker as a cool old uncle and has to somehow reconcile how everyone else thinks of him? How did the Nightwings relinquishing their powers work, do they have to wear the earrings forever too now?
And there is one more thing to mention.
My confession
You may have already intuited this, if you’ve been following the content of my blog. It is very heavily skewed towards the first and second arcs of the series. I would now like to confess something.
When I read the second half of book 10, I found it so disillusioning, Winter’s fate so upsetting... that I put down the series then and there. And I haven’t picked it back up since.
That’s right, I have not read arc 3. I don’t know if that makes me a fake fan. I know pretty much everything that happens in it, the controversial twist at the end, Pyrrhia coming back into the story later, Snowfall getting brainwashed by a piece of jewelry until she cares about a plot that had nothing to do with her or the fate of the Icewings, etc..
It’s not out of malice, or because it’s a new continent. The opposite in fact; I would have greatly prefered a clean break with a new setting—Bug-themed dragons in a slightly more contemporary, developed environment sounds fascinating and full of potential. I don’t hate Pantala or the new characters.
I just... I can’t really do this again. I can’t handle the thought of Pyrrhia coming back post-Darkstalker, with Winter showing up and talking to these guys again like nothing happened, seeming like a different person, joking around with them like his entire character wasn’t dragged through a mountain of manure to make the plot bend a certain way. I think as long as this is the ending that the story is continuing from, seeing that would just make me miserable.
Maybe I will just stay in the parts of the story that I fell in love with. And imagine a version of reality in which Pantala is allowed to exist on its own, where Swordtail was the fourth POV character of arc 3, where Queen Wasp stayed the villain throughout, and Snowfall got her own legends book about how she reformed Icewing society and fixed all the shit that poisoned Winter’s life, so future generations don’t have to suffer through the same stuff he did.
~~~~~
If you’re still with me, thank you for reading this far. I think this is everything I ever thought about the finale of the second story arc, so now I never have to talk about it again. Writing this was difficult. I found it crushing at times. This will probably stand as the only overtly negative post I have ever made on this blog. I love Wings of Fire, and I want to celebrate it. To add to it, not tear it down.
I hope this wasn’t too boring, or painful, or frustrating, or soul-crushing to read through. I’ll see you later, hopefully with a more constructive post.
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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 9 months ago
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In Another Life
Pairing: Dean Winchester x f!reader, Dean POV
Summary: When Dean wakes up in another life with you, he begins to question your friendship and realizes that he has loved you all along. But how can he change that? (I’m so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Tropes: Angst, Fluff, Pregnancy Fluff, Mutual Pining
Word Count: 5.5K (I have an addiction don't judge me)
Warnings: I don’t think there’s any. I’ll say mention of gore, but for one second. Maybe one allusion to sex, but not really.  Some swearing (once or twice). Dean might be a little bit OOC.
Note: This is told from Dean’s perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. This is my first time writing for Supernatural, so please be gentle. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics
Main Masterlist
*********************************************
Dean couldn’t remember what happened last night only that the bed beneath him felt like an old friend welcoming him home. The night before ghosted across his mind, hovering just out of reach, memories of a dream barely forming from a fog of uncertainty. He fades in and out of sleep in a mist that soothes his aching body.
“Dean?” A soft voice whispers.
Dean groans and squeezes his pillow tighter against his chest to avoid waking up. He didn’t care what time it was, all he knew was that he didn’t want to get out of bed.
“Leave me alone Sammy.” He grumbles into the pillow.
“Dean.” The voice says again, this time with a happy laugh that sounds nothing like Sam.
His eyes open,  blinded by the sunlight that streams through the large windows on the other side of the bedroom.
Wait. Where am I?
“Dean we have to get up or we’ll be late for the party.”
Dean looks towards the voice and  realizes that he’s not squeezing a pillow, it’s you. You’re facing him, hair fanning out over the pillow beneath your head, eyes wide and crinkled around the edges, smiling at him.
“Y/n?” Dean says it hesitantly, arms tightening around your waist.
“No no no. Don’t look at me like that. I will not be roped into staying in bed. We can’t be late for your mom’s birthday party and you promised you would come with me to pick up the cake.”
“But-“ Dean couldn’t remember how he got here, only that something feels wrong.
“No buts.” You giggle, before leaning forward and kissing him.
Dean freezes, confused, but the soft movement of your mouth against his erases any uncertainty. He eases his face forward nudging his nose into yours to deepen the kiss. Dean doesn’t know how he got here, but all he knows is how natural it feels to be here with you. Before he can stop himself he rolls you over your back, bringing a moan from you that vibrates though his skull. His fingertips blaze a trail along your hips.
“Easy there tiger.” You smile up at him. “You don’t want to crush Zeppelin.”
Dean’s confusion makes you laugh, before he finally looks down between you. “You’re pregnant.” He whispers, noting the protrusion of your abdomen.
“I mean I think so.” You laugh in a way that makes his heart jump and buckle.
Dean lays his hand down on the smooth skin where your shirt pushes up. Why can’t I remember this? He thinks to himself confused, searching for memories he can’t recall.
“I believe we’ve talked about it several times. And it was you who decided to stay up until 4 am painting the nursery.” Your hands gently brush his hair back out of his face. “You did such a good job baby.”
Dean reaches for the memory, but he can’t seem to
 grasp it. “I did?”
“Mhmm. Look at you, you’re still covered in paint.” You smile wider picking up the hand that rests on your belly to show him the splashes of cream colored paint flecked along the back of his hand. And as you do he notices the ring on your left hand.
“Are we married?” Dean tries again to grasp for his memory but comes up empty handed. He strokes his thumb along the back of yours examining the ring.
I should remember that. How could I forget that we’re married?
“Feigning amnesia will not make me stay in bed with you. No matter how cute you are.”  You gently lay your hand against his chest pushing him back so you can sit up in bed.
Dean can’t help but notice how beautiful and carefree you look. Hair catching fire in the light from the window, t-shirt brushing against the top of your thighs, and how you smile at him with so much love it makes something catch in his chest.
“Dean?” You suddenly look worried. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “I’m just tired I guess.”
His cell phone rings where it sits on the nightstand, drawing his gaze to the alarm clock and car magazine that sit on top of the dark wood.
“You better answer that. It’s probably Sam asking us where we are.” You kiss him on the cheek, before standing up and walking into the closet on the edge of the bedroom.
Dean watches you go, his eyes tracing your familiar figure as you leave the room, before reaching for his phone.
“Hey where are you guys? Jessica’s freaking out because you haven’t brought the cake.” Sam’s  voice triggers another memory for Dean, but this one remains allusive.
“Sam?”
“Dean.”
“Um.”
“Dean are you hungover or something?”
“No. Sorry, just running a little late-“ Dean apologizes looking around the bedroom. It’s small, filled with light from the open window that shows a quaint backyard. The dresser on the wall opposite the bed has photos of him and you, photos of Sam and Jessica, and a photo of Mary and John Winchester. Dean’s eyes stop on the photo as a memory triggers at the back of his mind, but Sam interrupts the thought.
“Well come on. Dad’s not going to like it if you guys miss mom’s birthday-“
“Dad?” Deans memory spikes again and he sees his father sitting in the drivers seat humming along to a song on the radio. Another memory flashes, Dean and his father standing behind the impala with Sam looking into the trunk.
“Yes dad. Your boss. Our father. Dean are you okay? Y/n said that you were painting the nursery last night all by yourself. You could have told me. I would have come over to help-“
“I’m alright Sammy.”
But he doesn’t feel alright, something is definitely wrong.
“Okay well hurry up. I’ll see you when you get here.”
Dean hangs up the phone and sits on the end of the bed with it in his hand.
You walk back into the room wearing a green sundress. Your hair is soft again, falling over your shoulders in a way that makes Dean’s breath catch, effortlessly beautiful.
A memory of you wearing jeans and a leather jacket washes across his mind of you standing with him at the back of the Impala reaching in for a shotgun while he knocks your hand away.
“Dean?” You walk towards him, this time standing between his legs. You place your hands on his shoulders and he can’t help but turn to look at the wedding ring. “Are you sure you’re okay? Because if you’re not feeling well we don’t have to go today. I can call your dad. But I just thought your really wanted to go. You hate missing your mother’s birthday. It’s usually you that drags me out of bed.” You trail your hand against the side of his face with a worried expression, to turn his gaze back on you.
Someone deep in the back of his mind the expression triggers something and he sees a memory of you. Except you’re holding a machete in your right hand that drips blood on the floor but, the look of worry in your eyes the same.
Where could that be from?
“I don’t know.”
“Hey.” You whisper, sitting down in his lap and his arms can’t help but secure you there, burying his head in your shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I’m scared too.”
“What?” Dean raises his head from your shoulder
“We’ve talked about this. You’re going to be a great dad. And honestly we probably won’t know what we’re doing, but that’s how everyone starts.” Your fingertips drag through his hair in a soothing motion.
Dean tries again to grasp at earlier memories of this life, early memories of you, but all he sees are motel rooms. Motel rooms where you sleep on a pullout couch in a corner and where Sam sits  at a small table shuffling through endless books and papers.
Why?
Dean can’t understand, because that life seems so different than this one. This one where you look softer and happier, where you share a bed and are married. He thinks about the other memories, where your smile is not as bright, where there’s a hardness to your face, but still just as beautiful. Another memory of him and you sitting in a bar drinking beer, another of you laughing at something he said and hitting him, and finally one of you reading in bed while Dean sits at a motel table and watches you softly turn the pages.
Deep down Dean knows in his bones that in those memories  you and him are just friends, but he allows himself to indulge in your touch, enjoying the comfort that comes with being with you.
“It’s not about the baby.” Dean sighs. “I just can’t remember how we got here.”
“Here?”
“Married.” His arms tighten around your waist not wanting to let go. You’re the only thing he recognizes in all of this.
“Um well, my car broke down and I brought it to a mechanic shop where I met a devilishly handsome man with green eyes.” You smile at him. “Who refused to let me leave until he bought me dinner.”
Dean stares at you.
“Practically kidnapped me. But you were so charming I couldn’t resist.” You lean closer to whisper in his ear. “Not to mention sexy covered in grease and wearing a meatloaf t-shirt.” You kiss him before he can respond, and he loses himself in you. The way you hold him close, the way your fingers work up into his hair to secure him right where he wants to be, and the way you feel in his arms wipes away any uncertainty. “As much as I’d like to go back to bed with you, we’re going to be late.” You whisper against his lips.
And Dean allows himself to be dragged away.
*********************************************
“Did you remember to order the parts for that ‘76 Camaro right?” John Winchester asks Dean, but Dean’s not focused, he can’t focus on anything.
The drive over to his parents house was different. Instead of sitting on the opposite side of the front seat of the impala, you had sat in the middle, holding his hand and leaning against his shoulder, humming softly.
It made driving for Dean especially difficult. The memories of you in his car that came across his mind while he drove distracted him.
You  in the backseat shouting something at Dean while he completely ignored you rolling his eyes, you sitting in the front seat with a map trying to direct him while Sam slept in the back, you singing to “The Eye of the Tiger” with him while Sam tried to close his ears, and finally you asleep in the front seat with Dean’s jacket draped over you.  That last one stayed in his mind. He liked how you looked wrapped up in his jacket, breath fogging the glass window, while Dean tried his best to drive smooth and slow so you wouldn't wake.
But you in the front seat holding his hand and leaning against his shoulder while humming along to the music blew all of those memories out of the water. All Dean wanted to do was exist there and then.
When you both arrived at his parents home Dean tried not to be disappointed. Now he was too distracted watching you talk and laugh with Jessica and his mother across the room to listen to anything his father said.
“Dean are you listening?” His dad tries again.
“Huh?” The cold beer in Dean’s hand drips condensation against his skin. He turns to look back at his father.
Another memory of him momentarily distracts Dean, this one of John leaving Dean and Sam in a motel room so he can go hunting.
Did we ever go hunting? Dean tries to think of a time where they went out into the woods to shoot some deer, but comes up empty handed. A few memories of him and Sam toting guns rise to the surface, but he can't remember why they had them.
"You'll have to excuse Dean, he's still mentally painting the nursery." Sam snorts into his beer.
"Shut up."
"Don't tease him Sam. I'm sure that Jessica will have you turn your office into a nursery before you know it." You appear on Dean's left, raising his arm around you so you can lean into his side. Dean automatically tightens his arm around your shoulders.
"Don't joke about that y/n."
"Uh-huh. You can't hide in that big fancy law firm forever. She'll find you." You smile up at Dean in a way that makes his heart feel like its stopped beating.
Why can't I remember any of this life?
"She's right." Jessica comes over to kiss Sam on the cheek.
"I do not hide at the firm-" Sam rolls his eyes.
"You do."
Mary Winchester comes over. "Are you fighting at my birthday party?"
Dean's father puts his arm around his mother, pulling her into his chest with a smile he hides by taking a swig of beer.
"No mom, we're not-"
"Sounded like a fight to me." You whisper to Dean, and he can't help but smile at you.
"It's not a fight y/n!"
"Don't yell at my wife Sammy." Dean says before he can stop himself. He thinks about how natural it sounded coming out of his mouth.
His wife. You're his wife. He thinks and presses a kiss to the top of your head that makes you sigh into his chest.
"I'm not yelling at y/n." 
"Sam we're just teasing you." Jessica laughs, placing her hand against his chest. Dean notices the ring on her own finger, and a memory of Jessica rises in the back of his head. Jessica standing in the darkness of an apartment, while Dean holds on to the front of Sam's shirt, her eyes wide and confused.
But it vanishes when you wince in his arms. Dean's eyes are drawn back down to you, worry spiking in his chest.
"I'm okay." You whisper. "Just think Zeppelin is hitting his limit."
"You guys go on home. I think that John has grilled Dean about the garage enough." Mary smiles, before taking a step forward to hug you. Dean is disappointed when you leave his arms, but smiles despite, watching you with his mother.
"Let the little linebacker get some rest." John hugs you.
"Of course. Thank you so much for letting us come. I'm sorry we were late." Dean watches the subtle blush of your cheeks as you apologize.
"I'm sure it's my son's fault." Mary moves to hug Dean.
As soon as she does Dean is overwhelmed by a surge of sadness as another memory of his mother rises in the back of his mind that he can't quite bring into focus.
"Mom?" Dean whispers.
"Hmm?" She looks up at him confused. "We'll see you on Tuesday for dinner. Okay?"
"Okay."
"We love you."
"I love you too mom." But something sticks in his chest when he says it.
“Don’t forget to order the parts.” John says shaking Dean’s hand.
“Sure.”
“Bye Jessica. Let me know if you need us to bring anything for Tuesday.” Dean watches you hug her and just for a moment Dean sees Sam holding a bouquet of flowers at a gravesite.
What is happening?
*********************************************
When Dean pulls the Impala into the driveway of your home something still feels wrong. After saying goodbye to everyone he still can’t shake the feeling that he forgot something. The radio plays "Black Dog" filling the silence as the car idles in front of the house.
“Dean!”
“What?” He turns to look at where you sit beside him in the front seat.
“Feel.” You grab one of his hands from the wheel and place it against your abdomen an excited smile gracing your cheeks. “Little future drummer."
The kicking against the palm of his hand makes Dean smile, leaning forward into where you sit beside him. Happiness breaks in his chest like the crest of a wave. He can't remember a moment in his life where he felt this happy, this much love for someone.
"Y/n?"
"Mhmm."
"I love you." Dean refuses to believe that he has said it to anyone else ever in his life, can't remember wanting to say it to anyone else, can't believe that he will ever want to say it to anyone else.
"I love you too."
He leans down to kiss you, hand still against your stomach, drawing you further into him to breathe you in. Everything else vanishes, just the feel of your soft lips against his, the tickle of your hair against his cheeks, and the pulse of his son's kicks against the palm of his hand.
But then it's all gone.
*********************************************
"Dean!" Sam's voice jars him into reality, his eyes opening to see his brother standing over him, one hand on his shoulder. "Dean are you okay?"
"What happened?" Dean sits up with a groan, ignoring the headache that throbs behind his eyes.
His eyes adjust to the dim light. He's in a long room where wooden tables sit every few feet covered in dust and machinery blanketed with old sheets. The musty smell fills his nose, replacing the smell of your shampoo that lingers under his nose from when you were in the front seat with him.
"Djinn ambushed you. Y/n and I got here as soon as we could."
"Y/n?" The memories of the dream strike him in the chest all over again, merging with memories of reality. "Where is Y/n?"
You enter the room out of breath, blood flecked across your cheeks and holding a baseball bat that drips a dark liquid onto the concrete floor. “It’s dead.”
"You sure?" Sam asks raising an eyebrow.
"There's enough brain matter on the floor in there for a zombie buffet." You shoulder the baseball bat. "So yeah, it's dead."
Dean’s eyes trace your body taking in the leather jacket and dark t-shirt his memory flashing to the green sundress and beautiful smile. You’re half-smiling, but Dean can see the hardness in your face again and understands where it comes from.
She wasn’t a hunter. He thinks of the dream version of you, where your hair fell in soft curls, but now it’s tied back in a ponytail. His eyes drop to your abdomen expecting more, but disappointment flicks in his heart. It wasn’t real.
“Dean are you okay?” You step closer to him. The smile has dropped now, replaced with a worried expression.
He flashes back to when you asked him that in the dream, when you sat on his lap and tangled your hands in his hair, sighing into his mouth as he kissed you.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
He traces your face again but every time he does he only sees the other version of you, the version that’s in love with him, married to him. And he knows that here you are just his friend.
“Yeah.” He says again standing up. “Let’s get out of here.”
The ride back to the motel is silent. Dean doesn’t put on any music, too afraid that it’ll remind him of the memory of you and him in the front seat while his son kicked against his hand. Instead, all he can think of was how happy he was in the other life, how in love with you he was-
Dean knew that it wasn’t just a fantasy, that he really is in love with you, but now after seeing how everything could be, it weighed on his chest. Each time you looked at him he wanted to pull you close to him, hug you, kiss you, but he knew you would pull away. Because this version of you was not his.
“I’m going to go to that diner on the corner. You guys want something?” Sam looks around the room expectantly, but Dean doesn’t look up from the carpet.
“Sure.” Dean hears you respond. “Maybe just a burger and a piece of pie. Preferably apple but I'll take cherry if they have it."
“Okay. Dean?” Sam asks again.
Dean shakes his head. He can’t eat. Not now.
Sam hesitates at the door worried. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t want anything.” Dean snaps.
“Yeesh don’t bite my head off.” Sam throws you a shrug before leaving.
Dean is aware that it’s just the two of you now, the memory of the two of you in bed surfaces making him tighten his grip on the edge of the blanket beneath him.
“Dean?” You whisper.
“What?” His voice comes out harsher than he means it to.
“What’s wrong? You can tell me.”
“Nothing is wrong.” But he can’t look at you, not when he knows he'll look up and you won't be pregnant and not when the other version of you still has a hold of his heart.
“Dean you’re my best friend I know when something’s wrong. Plus you haven’t been able to look at me since you woke up and you never say no to food.”
“I’m fine.”
“Dean-“
“Just leave me alone damnit!” He snaps at you, able to raise his gaze from the floor for one second. Dean immediately feels bad, watching the pain in your eyes as he pushes you away. But he lowers his eyes to the carpet once more to avoid your gaze.
You sigh, but don’t get angry with him. “If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. I'll just leave you alone then.”
And as soon as you leave to take a shower he feels the loss of you beside him.
He listens to the sound of the shower, feels the passing of time, but he does not move. The memories of the dream rise and fall, replacing the darkness of the hotel room with brilliant light. The memory of the sun catching your hair on fire as you laid next to him in bed tracing your fingertips along his jaw, the memory of you in the front seat of the Impala leaning against him and humming while you hold his hand, the memory of the party where he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you tightly into his chest, and finally the memory of the last kiss you shared in the front seat of the Impala each dance across his mind. He acutely feels the loss of your body against his, the loss of your lips, and finally the sound of your voice telling him you love him while his son kicked against his hand.
“Dean?”
He looks up at you. You look softer than you did. The blood is gone from your cheeks, your hair falls over your shoulders still wet from the shower, effortlessly beautiful, he decides. You’re wearing one of his old t-shirts that he gave you and a pair of sweatpants. It does something to him, watching you stand there in his shirt. It hangs past your waist like a dress, making you look smaller than you are. The smell of your shampoo wafts out of the bathroom, something familiar that makes his throat tight.
“You know when that Djinn got me a few months ago it threw me for a loop too.” You say softly leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. “Everything felt so real. It was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t.”
Dean remembers when that happened. When you vanished out of the blue while checking out a case alone and he and Sam tore apart the small town looking for you. Dean remembers how worried he was, how desperate he was to find you.
I loved her then too. Dean realizes looking at you. How did I not know?
Dean remembers the aftermath, when you woke up and wouldn’t look at him. How your gaze was almost haunted and how he had to carry you out of there because you couldn’t move. He remembers you laying in bed and turning away from him and Sam when they had asked you what was wrong and the following day when you acted like nothing happened.
“What did it make you see?” Dean whispers, noting the way you shift back and forth on your feet. He hadn't seen you nervous before, seen you face down demons and vampires without batting an eye, but now you looked vulnerable.
You look down at your feet.  “If I say it you can’t laugh.”
“I won’t.”
“Dean, I’m serious.”
“I promise I won’t laugh.” He watches the tension in your shoulders.
Why would she be afraid to tell me? We talk about everything.
“It was us.”
“What?” Shock tugs at his heart and for a second he thinks that he heard you wrong.
“It was us. We were married. We had 2 kids. My brother was still alive and my parents were talking to me again. I was happy there. It was hard to come back. Not that I’m not happy, but just that it’s hard to think you’ve lived a life that doesn’t exist. Especially one so different than all of this.” Dean watches you take in a deep breath, tapping your finger against your bicep, avoiding his eyes. “That was when I realized I was in love with you.” 
Dean’s heart stops beating. “What did you just say-“
You look up and smile tightly. “It’s when I realized I was in love with you. That’s why I was so messed up. I didn't know how to-“
Sam chooses that exact moment to walk in loaded with bags of food. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing much.” Dean watches you easily shift your expression to hide what just happened, smiling at Sam as if you hadn’t said the one thing that Dean had been trying to say to you since he woke up. “Just trying to convince Dean to let me work on Baby. I think I’m wearing him down.”
Dean had never realized how much of a good liar you were until this moment, sure he had seen you pretend to be a government agent, but this was different.
“Like that’ll happen.” Sam hands you a bag of food before turning to look at Dean. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Dean watches you pull out the burger, stunned by your confession.
You place the burger next to him on the bed. “Eat this. It’ll help.”
“But-“ He looks up at you, wanting to finish the conversation.
“I promise I’m not that hungry Dean. I’d rather have the pie. Unless you’re going to fight me for it?” You smile raising an eyebrow.
Dean doesn’t understand why you’re acting like you didn’t just say you were in love with him. He gazes at you, searching your face. For a second he sees the mask slip, but before he can comment it’s gone.
“No I won’t.” He whispers.
“Good.” You turn to the made-up pull out couch and fold your legs underneath you with the slice of pie balanced on your knee, before reaching into your bag for a worn paper back.
Dean sits there watching you turn the pages. She loves me. The memory of you in his dream in the front seat of the Impala whispering it to him doesn’t hold the same weight because now all he can hear is you saying it here, now.
Dean can’t move. He wished Sam would leave again. He wished Sam would leave so he could bring you into his chest and kiss you, so he could tell you the one thing he wished he said ages ago.
But he doesn't. All he does is sit there and watch you read.
*********************************************
A few hours after Sam and you have fallen asleep Dean lays in his bed and stares up at the ceiling. He can hear your soft breaths against the pillow, the crinkle of the sheets as you move in your sleep. Usually he allowed himself to fall asleep listening to you, but tonight all it did was keep him awake. Each time he shut his eyes he saw the memory of you in bed with him burning against his eyelids and each time he shut his eyes he heard the real you telling him that you loved him.
Finally, he can't take it anymore.
Dean gets up and makes his way over to the pull-out couch, pausing once to move the paperback book out from under your head. It wasn't the first time that you'd fallen asleep reading, and Dean thought it was cute.
He slides into the bed behind you, gently touching your shoulder to wake you as quietly as possible.
"Hmm." You inhale softly.
"Y/n." Dean whispers.
He watches you turn towards him, eyes blinking in the darkness to rouse yourself from sleep. You hair is flared out over the pillows, eyes hazy. “Dean what are you-“
Dean moves his arm to your waist before pulling you flush into his chest, lips finding yours. The memories of the kiss in his dream are everywhere, but none of them compare to this. You sigh into his mouth, bringing your hands into his hair. Dean breathes you in. You still taste like apple pie, body soft against his, lips smooth and welcoming.
“I love you too.” He whispers against your mouth, eyes finding yours in the darkness of the hotel room.
Your smile breaks him. “It made you see us didn’t it?”
“How did you know?”
“The way you looked when you came out. The way you looked at me. I think it’s the same way I looked at you when I woke up." You brush back his hair and Dean can't help but lean forward into your touch. "What did it make you see?"
“We were married. You were pregnant and I was working at a garage. My parents were alive. Jessica was alive-“
“Oh Dean.” You cup his cheeks with a sorrowful expression, before brushing your lips against his. “I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter now.” Dean brings you into his chest, laying on his back so you can rest your head on his heart. His hand slowly traces up and down your spine. You both lie there for a few moments. The subtle beat of your heart soothing the sadness that rises with the memory of his mother and father. Your hand gently rests against his shirt, fingers curling into the soft fabric.
“I missed you.” He hears you whisper into his chest.
“What?” Dean doesn't understand. "Where did I go?"
“Not like that. I know that it sounds stupid, but we were so happy in the dream. It made me miss you, miss this.” He feels you rub your face into the front of his shirt.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Dean you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose any of this.” You prop yourself up look him in the eye. “I’m happy here with you and Sam. Y’all are my family and I didn’t want to jeopardize that just because I’m in love with you.”
“Did you think I would have made you leave if you told me that?” Dean can’t help but feel hurt. Sure it would have been awkward for a little bit, but I’d never do that to y/n.
“Not made me leave, more phase me out. It would have made all of this awkward and-“ He watches the weight settle on your shoulders as you press your forehead into the space between his collar bone and neck. “I’ve lost so many things. I didn’t want to lose you.”
Dean squeezes you to him. “You’re not going to lose me sweetheart.” He traces a fingertip under your chin to raise your face to his. “I love you. And even if I didn’t, you’re my family too. I wouldn’t make you leave just because it was a little awkward. We’ve all been through too much together for that.” Dean’s thumb rubs soft circles against your cheek.
“I love you too.” You whisper, the soft smile gracing your lips  mirrors the memory from the dream, but this time it fills him with warmth and comfort, because this time he knows it’s real.  It's not some Djinn messing with his head, it's you. You lean upwards to kiss him gently, while Dean weaves his hand through you hair to secure you to him.
But then you pull away, your smile slipping into a smirk. “So when you say family, are you saying you see me as a sister or a cousin? Because, I don’t know how things are in Kansas, but where I'm from, that's kind of a red flag.“
Dean sighs loudly. Before he rolls you over and pins you to the bed, pressing his lips against yours in a searing kiss.
“Oh. So as a sister-“ You joke.
“You are one of the most annoying people on the planet.”
“I know. It’s why you love me.” You trace his lips with your index finger, gazing up at him the same way the dream version of you did.
Dean feels warmth trail behind your touch. “One of the reasons at least.”
But just as he leans to kiss you again-
“If you guys don’t shut up I’m not going to get any sleep.” Sam grumbles from his bed. “I could have told you two idiots, that you loved one another and it would have taken five seconds.”
“You don’t have to eavesdrop-“ You say glaring over in the direction of Sam’s bed.
“Kinda hard not to when you guys are making out. LOUDLY. I might add.”
“Gonna have to get used to it Sammy.” Dean snorts, before pushing your hair back behind your ear and drawing your gaze back to his face.
“Next time you guys are getting your own room.” Sam continues. “That way I can get some sleep.”
“Doesn’t seem very economical.” You say, but you’re gazing up at Dean again with the smile that makes him feel like he’d swallowed the sun. “I love you.” Your voice is barely a whisper.
“I love you too.” Dean leans down once more to capture your lips against his, erasing all semblance of everything else, except the feel of your body beneath him and the warmth that surges with each breath as the dream of you becomes a reality.
*********************************************
Thank you so much for reading!
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joelscoffeemachine · 4 months ago
Text
Forget
Joel Miller x f!reader
word count: 5.4k
Summary: After waking up from what felt like the best night ever, you wanted to figure out what Joel’s thoughts about what was going on, were.
Warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, Joel acting like a total jerk, language, unprotected piv, pet names, reader uses feminine pronouns, jackson era!Joel, slight fluff towards the end, arguing, angst, no use of Y/N, apologies if anything was missed.
please read A/N: guys, i tried so freaking hard to like this, but i just can’t. so, i am so sorry if you feel the same way as me. i really tried my hardest. i’m not sure if i want this to be the last part, but i can kinda feel it going towards that route, so im going to say this once, thank you so much for all the support for this mini series. i couldn’t be more grateful. thank you. and once again, i am so fucking sorry if you don’t like this. please don’t hate me. 🤗 oh, and also, ntm on the photos not matching, honestly could careless ab the damn photos.
part one part two
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Joel couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night, the feeling of you being so close to him, in his arms, feeling your warm body against his, having your scent fill his nose, all of it was too much.
Every time he closed his eyes, memories of your shared night and the warmth of your touch would flood his mind, making his heart race. The moonlight filtering through the curtains enveloped a soft glow on your face, making you look even more serene and beautiful, which only added to his restless thoughts.
He laid there for a couple more hours, listening to your breathing, the way you’d mutter in your sleep, the little sounds that would escape you. Each breath you took seemed to synchronize with his heartbeat, creating a rhythm that was both comforting and unsettling. But he knew he had to leave. He knew he couldn’t stay because what was this?
What were you two?
The uncertainty gnawed at him, and the fear of crossing a line that could change everything between you both was overwhelming.
So, he eventually slid out of your bed, picking up his clothes and getting dressed. He moved quietly, trying not to wake you, stealing one last glance at your peaceful face before slipping out the door.
As he walked away, the cool night air hit him, a slight contrast to the warmth he had just left behind. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions, but he knew he needed to figure out what this meant for both of you.
You blinked your eyes open, the sun shining through the crack of your curtains into your room. The sheets of your bed hugged your body perfectly, stretching your arms out with a yawn.
You expected to feel a big and warm body, but you didn’t.
You just felt the ruffled-up blanket. The familiar warmth and comfort were missing, replaced by a cold emptiness that made you shiver slightly.
You turned your body, nothing. No one. He left. You glanced at the alarm clock on your bedside table, the bright red numbers glaring at you.
With it being the ass crack of dawn, you’d be expecting him to be waking up now.
Did he leave last night? You asked him to stay.
The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and a wave of disappointment washed over you. You replayed the moments of the previous night in your head, trying to understand why he would leave without a word.
You sat up, confusion taking over your features. For some odd reason, your heart felt heavy. You wanted him to be there when you woke up. You needed him too because now that he wasn’t, was it even real?
The questions swirled in your mind, each one adding to the ache in your chest. The silence of the room seemed to echo the emptiness you felt inside.
You stood up, not bothering to put on the old bra and shirt from last night, turning the shower on as you pulled your panties off, hopping in. The warm water cascaded over you, but it did little to wash away the sense of loss and confusion. You hoped the shower would clear your mind, letting the water run down your face.
But it didn’t.
The shower didn’t work. You couldn’t get the situation off your mind. You couldn’t get him off your mind. It couldn’t have been real, but the faint memory of him running his rough fingers down your skin, the way he felt inside of you, stayed in your mind. The sensation was so vivid, it was almost as if you could still feel his touch, haunting you with every passing second.
You needed to see him. To talk to him. You prayed he wasn't anywhere but his house. The first place you could expect him to be was his house. So, you found yourself there. The walk to his place felt like an eternity, each step heavy with anticipation. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached his door.
Softly banging on the door, no answer. Peeking through the window, no sight.
“Fucking Joel.” You whisper breathily. How fucking surprising was that. Joel Miller finally left his house.
For a second there your heart dropped, praying that he didn’t get patrol duty.
Goddamn it. I mean you could wait, but you didn’t want to.
You didn’t want to go back home, so you didn’t, knuckles bruising as you hit them against the door. The pain shot through your hand, but it was nothing compared to the turmoil inside you. Still no fucking answer. You stepped back and glanced up at the house, looking for a way to get in.
No way in from the front, window was shut tightly, curtains drawn as if to shut out the world.
So, like any sane person who was looking for a — friend, you walked towards the back to maybe get in from the patio door. But that’s when you heard it.
Sweet music, fingers strumming away at the strings from what sounds like a guitar, and sweet, and quiet humming. The melody was hauntingly beautiful, calming to the chaos in your mind.
You poked your head around the corner, Joel sitting in a plastic, white chair, guitar in hands. He nodded his head softly as he felt the music, eyes closed, and body relaxed with a cup of coffee on the small table next to him.
The steam from the coffee rose in gentle spirals, mingling with the early morning mist.
His foot tapped lightly in rhythm with the music, completely unaware of your presence.
You felt stupid. You almost broke into his fucking house all because he was unable to hear the damn knocking.
You slowly stepped onto the wood, your sneakers making a loud noise that made Joel stop playing. The sound echoed in the stillness, shattering the tranquility.
He looked you up and down, setting his guitar down with no words spoken. The silence between you hung heavy, like a thick fog that neither of you could see through.
Joel's eyes, usually so full of warmth, seemed distant as they locked onto yours. The early morning sun cast long shadows, and the gentle breeze carried the scent of dew and freshly cut grass. You could hear the faint rustling of leaves in the background, the weight of unspoken words pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.
You let out a quiet ‘hey’, smile slightly upside down as you leaned on the railing of the patio. Your eyes were basically inviting him over, so he obliged, grabbing his coffee, and standing beside you, a gap in between.
It was pretty much awkward. It was clear he didn’t forget about the activities from last night.
“I’ve been knocking.” Your voice breaking the silence, looking at him, but he avoided your gaze.
“I’ve been here all mornin’, didn’t hear it.”
"Something on your mind?" You knew exactly what was on his mind, but you thought, if you pushed it, maybe this moment wouldn’t be so goddamn awkward.
Each second of silence stretching longer than the last.
"Nothin’ on my mind," he replied, lifting the cup up to his lips, taking a light sip.
The steam from his coffee curled up into the air, mingling with the tension that seemed almost palpable between you. His eyes, though momentarily hidden behind the rim of the cup, betrayed his true thoughts.
His eyes, dark and guarded, flickered over to you. There was a heaviness in his gaze, a storm of unsaid words and pent-up emotions swirling just beneath the surface.
His expression unreadable, before letting out a quiet, almost resigned sigh. The sound was barely audible, yet it echoed in the stillness, amplifying the tension that crackled in the air like static electricity.
He wanted you to say something. He wanted you to just be honest and tell him exactly how you felt about last night, why you were there, if you even remotely felt what he did.
Instead, you were both standing there, avoiding each other’s gazes like idiots.
Your heart raced; each beat a reminder of the words you were too afraid to speak. His sigh lingered in the air, a silent plea for you to break the cycle, to reach out and bridge the gap that seemed to widen with every passing moment.
"You gonna invite me in, or are you just gonna stand there?" You point lazily at the door.
Joel huffed a laugh, tilting his head slightly as he finally looked at you. “You’re being pushy today, ain’t ya?”
He was being a smartass, and he knew it, but it was his way of deflecting whatever the hell happened last night, and the way you were acting this morning.
The gesture is casual, almost dismissive, but your heart is going crazy. The morning sun filters through the trees, putting a warm glow on the porch where you both stand. His eyes flicker to the door and then back to you, a moment of hesitation that feels like an eternity.
His eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and challenge, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a smirk that was all too familiar. The morning light radiating a golden halo around his figure, highlighting the lines of tension in his posture that belied his casual tone.
His eyes never left yours, a silent dare for you to cross the threshold and face whatever lay beyond.
As you stood there, you knew that stepping through that door meant more than just entering his home—it meant confronting the emotions and the history that had brought you to this moment.
He shifts his weight, the creak of the wooden floorboards echoing in the quiet day.
He finally turned away from the railing, his movements deliberate and measured, as if each step was a calculated effort to maintain his composure.
He held the door open for you with his empty hand, the gesture both an invitation and a challenge.
You looked around at the nicely decorated house as you stepped into the kitchen, Joel close behind you.
The place was immaculate, with tasteful decor that felt both homey and sophisticated. You leaned against the marble island, the cool surface grounding you as you watched his every move. He stood in front of you, his presence filling the room in a way that made it hard to breathe.
“Why didn’t you stay?” you asked, your voice cutting through the silence like a knife.
You wanted to know so badly that you basically said, ‘fuck the small talk, tell me why.’ You were so straightforward, the words spilling out before you could second-guess them.
Joel’s face remained impassive, his expression a mask of cold-stone indifference. His arms were crossed over his chest, a defensive posture that only added to the distance between you. His eyes, usually so expressive, were unreadable, and for a moment, you wondered if you’d ever get through to him. The tension in the room was evident, a silent battle of wills as you waited for him to break the silence.
He took a moment as he leaned on the counter, taking in your words. He wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to answer.
A part of him, a huge part of him, did want to stay. He wanted to hold your warm body, bask in your sleepy scent, and hear your soft breath hit his neck. But he knew he couldn’t.
He didn’t know what last night was. Why you let him come to you, why you let him touch you the way he wanted to for so long.
"Well?" You push, head tilting, your gaze unwavering.
The intensity in your eyes matched the urgency in your voice, demanding a response from him.
"I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know." He finally let out, throwing his hands up, frustration settling on his face.
The rawness in his voice cut through the air, his eyes burning with a mix of confusion and helplessness.
You threw your head back at his answer, arms falling to your side as you turned around, elbows on the counter, holding your head up as you groaned. The cool surface of the counter did little to soothe the storm inside you. You felt the frustration bubbling over, the unanswered questions and the emotional tumult taking their toll.
He was frustrated for a number of reasons. Mainly because he had no idea how to act in front of you now. The lines between you had blurred, and he was grappling with the new reality, unsure of where he stood. But most of all, because you wanted an explanation for something he didn’t even understand himself.
"What is this?" He questioned, looking up at you, his arms crossed against his chest. His voice was edged with exasperation.
"You just come over here to get on my ass?" His words hung in the air, a challenge and a plea wrapped into one, as he tried to make sense of the chaotic emotions twirling around both of you.
You leaned up instantly, your body closer to his. The heat of his breath mingled with yours, creating an almost suffocating intimacy. Your eyes locked onto his, searching for a glimmer of understanding, something to bridge the chasm between you.
"No, I came here so I could understand you. But that’s never happening, is it?" Your voice was low, but the intensity of your words cut through the silence like a knife.
You could feel the tension radiating off him, the anger and disbelief that mirrored your own. The proximity made it impossible to ignore the raw emotions.
“Not when you’re acting like this.” He muttered, his voice strained, barely above a whisper.
The words were a thin veil over the tumultuous emotions roiling just beneath the surface, a desperate attempt to regain some semblance of control in a situation that felt increasingly out of hand.
Your bodies touched as you leaned closer, he was basically pressed up against you as you looked up at him, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, creating an electric tension that was impossible to ignore.
He tried to keep his composure. He tried to not look at you like some piece of meat. He tried not to think about how close you were, how he could easily shove you down on this counter, or up against a wall. His mind raced with conflicting thoughts, the struggle to maintain control evident in the tightness of his jaw and the flicker in his eyes.
But you weren’t making it easy. The intensity of your gaze, the proximity, the noticeable tension—it all made it nearly impossible for him to think straight.
At this point, this man was just stressing you out. You came to the conclusion that he was just trying to forget whatever happened last night, just like you tried forgetting what happened in the stables, but now you’re glad you didn’t, but for what? Look how he’s acting now.
“Joel, you’re really just gonna act like last night meant nothing? You’re just going to move on with life after that?” Your voice was sharp, each word laced with the hurt and confusion you felt.
Your words struck him like a damn brick. Because yes, that is what he was going to do. He was just going to act like last night wasn’t the best goddamn night of his life.
“That’s what you did.” He remarked, his tone cold and detached.
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the accusation clear.
He was right.
But you were standing right in front of him, and he could still hear the way you were moaning his name, a sound that echoed in his mind, driving him crazy.
He could still taste your lips, the sweetness lingering on his tongue, a reminder of the passion you shared. He could still smell you on him, your scent enveloping him, making it impossible to forget even if he tried.
You had no idea what to say. You weren’t going to deny it, because you do remember pushing him away, remember drinking to forget. All you could do was go along with it, even though it was going to hurt.
“Fine—“ Your voice cracked, strangled back deep in your throat. You cleared it as you spoke again. “It never happened. None of it.”
The words felt like knives in your mouth, each one cutting deeper into the fragile remnants of what you both shared. You could feel the weight of the silence that followed, a suffocating blanket that threatened to choke the last bit of resolve you had left. His eyes bore into yours, searching for a sign, any indication that you didn’t mean what you said.
But he wants to forget so fucking badly. Maybe you do too. Or maybe it’s meant to be this way.
Joel isn’t supposed to be knee-deep in your pussy. He’s supposed to be your best friend’s husband’s brother. Nothing else. It’s so simple.
Just forget. Just let it be like how it was before that day in the stables.
So, so, so, so simple.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
But you both knew it was all bullshit. He wasn’t the same man after he got a taste of you. And by the look you kept giving him, you weren’t the same either.
It’ll be forgotten. For now, at least. He won’t look at you with hungry eyes, you won’t look at him with a hopeful look.
“You should probably get going.” He muttered.
His voice was barely above a whisper, the words heavy with unspoken regret. The tension a suffocating fog that clung to every breath you took.
“Yeah.” You say quietly. You gathered yourself up, leading yourself to the front door with Joel behind you once again. None of this felt real. You felt like you were floating on your way to the door, your hands clasped together to avoid them shaking, your breath shortened.
As you turned to leave, the memories of that day in the stables flooded your mind—the way his hands had felt on your skin, the way his breath had mingled with yours. It had been a moment of raw, unfiltered passion, a moment that had changed everything.
Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing the finality of his words. You forced yourself to nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.
You reached the door and paused, your hand hovering over the handle. You wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence, but the words wouldn’t come—
You can’t fucking do this.
You spun back so fast; Joel couldn’t even react. Your lips caught his, arms wrapping around his neck as he eased in closer to you. His initial surprise quickly melted away, and he returned the kiss with a fervor that matched your own. The world outside ceased to exist; it was just the two of you in that moment, lost in a whirlwind of pent-up emotions.
His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as if he needed to feel every inch of you against him. The kiss deepened, becoming more desperate and passionate, a silent conversation of everything you both had been holding back.
You could feel the heat radiating from his body, his heartbeat syncing with yours in a chaotic rhythm.
When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. His eyes searched yours, filled with a mixture of longing and uncertainty.
“What are we doing?” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.
You didn’t have an answer, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. You both knew that whatever came next, it would be something you’d face together.
He shouldn’t give in, he really shouldn’t. He should push you away and make you leave.
But then he pulled you in again.
His hands were gripping you, and he was melting into the kiss. His self-respect was crumbling with every passing second, the warmth of your body against his breaking down his defenses.
He wanted this. More than he could admit, even to himself.
The taste of your lips, the feel of your body so close to his, it was overwhelming. He surrendered to the moment. All the reasons why this was a bad idea faded away, leaving only the undeniable truth that he wanted you, needed you, in that moment more than anything else.
You quickly pulled the brown t-shirt off from his body, hands instantly gliding down the skin. His muscles tensed under your touch, sending shivers through his body.
He stumbled to the living room, lips still together, throwing himself on the couch. You slid your white top off before sitting on his lap, his semi-hard cock that hid in his pants, pressing up against your clothed entrance in the best way, causing a delicious friction that made you both gasp.
He moved his fingers to unclasp your bra, the fabric falling away with ease. Finally, pulling away, his eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight of you, he lent kisses to both your nipples, his mouth warm and wet against your sensitive skin. He then moved to suck and bite at the tender skin on your neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake.
Your breath was ragged, hands in his hair, pulling his head closer, needing more of his touch.
“G-God.” You whimpered, furrowing your eyebrows from the pleasure.
The sensations were too much, each touch, each kiss sending waves of ecstasy through your body. His name escaped your lips like a prayer, a desperate plea for more, as you felt yourself getting lost in the intensity of the moment.
He could hardly keep up.
His head was spinning from the taste of you, from the way you felt in his arms. From the noises you were making as he gently bit around your chest, the soft whimpers and gasps that drove him wild. He was trying his best not to just rip the rest of your clothes off and fuck you on the couch like some sex toy. But he somehow managed to maintain a certain level of patience, his grip on control tenuous at best.
He pressed kisses up your neck, breathing hot air into your skin, each exhale sending shivers down your spine.
“I swear, you’re gonna be the damn death of me,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire.
His hands roamed your body, tracing every curve, every line, as if trying to memorize the feel of you. The tension between you was electric, each touch, each kiss heightening the anticipation, the need for more.
You let out a breathy chuckle, body shuddering. You reached your hands in between both of your bodies, fingers working on unzipping his fly. When you finally got it, he lifted your body up, pants pushed down just above his knees.
His weeping tip grazed over your belly button, pre-cum rolling down onto his thighs, glistening in the dim light.
You stood up for a moment, easily taking your pants off, along with your panties, and throwing them on the coffee table. The grunt that left his mouth when you let your hole slide down his member made you feel like you were about to cum already.
He felt so good, stretching you perfectly, filling you in a way that made your toes curl.
You let yourself get adjusted, but you could tell, by the look on his face, and the way his hands bruised your hips, he wanted you to move. His eyes were dark with lust, breaths coming in ragged gasps. His grip on your hips was almost painful, but it only added to the intensity of the moment. The need in his eyes mirrored your own, a silent plea for you to give in, to let the pleasure take over.
He was trying so desperately to keep control. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to just let this happen. He was so firm on his decision to forget about whatever happened between you both. Then you came in here, and just turned his world upside down and now here he was, cock throbbing inside your tight cunt.
You began bouncing, hands gripping his shoulders for support.
“Christ,” he moaned, head nuzzling into your neck to plant kisses all over.
Your eyes focused on the bookshelf behind the couch, somehow reading every title of the books. Joel’s hand rested on the back of your neck, the other flat on your back.
“You’re doing so good, darlin’.”
“Joel….” you whined.
Jesus, what the hell were you doing? This isn’t forgetting; matter of fact, this is making it so much worse. But you couldn’t stop. No way in hell. You just kept riding, sweat starting to glisten off of your soft skin.
Joel noticed your bouncing and grinding getting sloppy, grasping your hips so he could help.
Your body completely gave out, so tired, but his cock hit your G-spot perfectly, making you moan in his ear as loud as you could.
“I got you, baby,” he whispered, his voice a soothing balm against the chaos of your thoughts.
His hands guided your movements, each thrust precise, driving you closer to the edge. The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, the slap of skin against skin, and the overwhelming furosity of your connection.
Joel’s kisses became more urgent, trailing down your neck to your collarbone, each one leaving a burning imprint on your skin. His grip on your hips tightened, steadying you as he thrust deeper, hitting that perfect spot over and over again. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks as you tried to hold on to the last shreds of your sanity.
Every movement, every touch, was a testament to the unspoken emotions swirling between you. The room seemed to close in around you, the world outside fading into oblivion as you both lost yourselves in the moment. Your breaths synchronized, a dance of desperation and desire, building to an inevitable crescendo.
“Joel, please…” you gasped, your voice barely a whisper, but it carried the weight of everything you couldn’t say.
He responded with a growl, his pace quickening, pushing you both to the brink. The tension coiled inside you, tighter and tighter.
Until it snapped, your hips in sync with his as your orgasm washed over the both of you, the feeling of his warm cum inside of you making your heart pound. You start working on catching your breath as he pumps his cum into you, throwing his head back with strangled groans.
You kissed his jaw, slicking his damp hair back with your hand.
He looked so good like this.
You rested your head against his chest, finally catching your cool. Not a word was spoken by him, so you decided to speak up.
You could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, a steady rhythm that mirrored the tumultuous feelings inside you.
“I don’t want to forget.”
You moved your head to look at him, your hand on the back of his head, forcing him to look back at you. His eyes, filled with a mix of exhaustion and raw emotion, met yours.
Joel’s hand came up to cup your face, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone.
“I don’t either, sweetheart.” he finally whispered, his voice hoarse.
The vulnerability in his eyes was familiar, a mirror to your own. This wasn’t just physical; it was something deeper, something that neither of you could deny anymore.
The room felt smaller, more intimate, as if the walls themselves were bearing witness to this moment of truth.
You both knew that this was a turning point, a moment that would define whatever came next. Your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him closer until your foreheads touched, breaths mingling in the space between you.
“Then let’s not,” you murmured, the words a promise and a plea.
Joel’s lips found yours in a kiss that was both tender and desperate, sealing the unspoken agreement. In that moment, everything else faded away, leaving just the two of you, bound together by the intensity of your connection and the uncharted future that lay ahead.
“Okay.” he murmured.
538 notes · View notes
chanafehs · 15 days ago
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My Veilguard review:
Note - I will be honest in saying this is very long and very negative. If you enjoy this game please don't let me be the one to ruin that for you and skip on this post. I will be discussing spoilers. This is just my opinion so please don't crucify me for it.
I think my thoughts about this game were shaky to begin with as I had been exposed to different spoilers and information before the launch. I wasn’t actually expecting this game to be amazing but as someone whose favorite Dragon Age game is Dragon Age 2, which is arguably the weakest in the series (until now), I still went in with the impression I would have a good time regardless. I did not have that at all, in fact towards the end of Act 2 and the beginning of Act 3 all I wanted was for the game to be over. 
The problems for me really started right in the beginning with the Inquisitor character choices and their characterization. No choices for your Warden, no choices for your Hawke, and only three choices for your Inquisitor out of the dozens you made in Inquisition. The romance option just felt like a very polite way of asking if you romanced Solas or not, especially after completing the game where your non-solas romance will only get one letter for you to read, outside of that, the Inquisitor will not even mention them. Disbanding the Inquisition meant basically nothing and vowing to stop Solas felt like it had little bearing on what my Inquisitor said when she showed up. 
The time frame to make Dragon Age 2 was just over a year and somehow included more choices from Origins than Veilguard did with over ten years of production. That is the information that's been banging around in my head throughout this entire game. In Dragon Age 2, we get the consequences of our decisions with Alistair’s fate and we get extra dialogue concerning Isabela/Zevran/Leliana/Anders/Nathaniel + some sidequests. Veilguard couldn’t even give us so much of a mention of our Inquisitor’s friendships and the consequences of those friendships outside of Solas. The Inquisitors themselves are locked into one personality type as well, and regardless if you choose to stop Solas or not, they are very amicable toward him. 
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During the second cut scene you get with the Inquisitor in Dock Town, they will go on to ask you about your progress and then go on about Solas. Mind you, my Inquisitor is extremely unsympathetic to Solas and I chose the option to stop him no matter what, so why is it that every time I speak to her, she keeps trying to ask me if Solas is being genuine and that he was her friend? That doesn’t sound like someone who has vowed to stop him. They will also try to draw parallels between you, Rook, and Solas. Even at the end of the game, they will still try to appeal to you to see reason with him. That is essentially all the Inquisitor is there for. Incredibly frustrating. 
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Throughout the game you will get missives from the Inquisitor detailing the devastation that is being brought to southern Thedas and every letter feels like more and more of an insult. To keep it short: Southern Thedas as we know it has been essentially wiped out. I think that deserves more than a footnote in some missive most players aren’t even going to see.
So the setting we spent all three games in, that we saved countless times, had our companions and protagonists die for, gets demolished in the background where we cannot see it. Skyhold had to be taken back from demons and whoops, that's not actually something you can do anything about. Nothing the Warden, Hawke, or the Inquisitor ever did mattered at all and it renders everything from the previous games absolutely irrelevant. 
With that aside, the companions are also another issue for me. I found myself having trouble getting attached to any of them and every single time I recruited one I had the internal question “Why are you even here?” None of their companion quests really tie into the story at large, save maybe Harding and Davrin, and they are incredibly boring save for a few cool moments.
The main appeal of Dragon Age for me is the companions, it’s why Dragon Age 2 is my favorite of the series. Despite the overused environments and the rushed production I still had a great time with it because of the companions. I was actually eager to do the companion quests and learn more about them and how they all fit into the main narrative. Even characters I didn’t like, I still understood why they were important to the story. Like I can’t stand Anders but I know why he is there, he has a purpose.
Every companion is painfully amicable towards you even if you decide to be “stern” towards them. I found myself not caring what dialogue option I chose about them because it made absolutely no difference. There is nice, funny nice, and gentle parenting. That is really all you have to work with in terms of the dialogue wheel. It was more difficult to get disapproval than approval and I can probably count on my fingers every time in this game I actually got companion disapproval. There is only one companion in my playthrough that became hardened, Lucanis, and it had virtually no impact on his character other than the fact he leaves for a couple of saves and comes back to kissing your ass. 
Something I actually really liked about BG3 and the previous Dragon Age games was working for your companion approval - this meant actually learning about your companion and what made them tick. If you don't understand them well enough you get disapproval, when you actually listen to their ideas and thoughts you get approval - there is an active effort to get these things. In Veilguard this does not exist and you are essentially promised approval no matter what, meaning there is no encouragement to know who these people are if they're just going to support you regardless.
I have to agree with the Skillup review they made about this game saying that every dialogue option feels like it was made with HR in the room and I one hundred percent agree. This is not how real people talk to each other. This is how teachers talk to toddlers when they want to explain the virtues of sharing toys with their classmates.
It felt honestly insulting at times to be treated like I don’t understand the concept of bigotry, I still have no idea what they were trying to go for with this, like were they trying to appeal to a market of high school boys who hadn’t discovered what empathy was yet? There is zero trust in the player and every dialogue and decision you make in these moments feels handhold-y and preachy. Like Pixar levels of life lessons you learn.
In the moments where I had to settle arguments over coffee and companions not respecting each other's interests, I could not honestly believe this is the same universe with Loghain Mac Tir, Meredith Stannard, fuck even Corypheus. Humor has always existed in Dragon Age and I love the comedic banter between the characters but it was always humor that served as an escape from the oppressive and dark situation around you, here the dark and oppressive situations feel like an escape from the unrelenting friendliness and tone deafness of your companions. 
The companion I probably had the most issue with was Taash and the way they were handled. I’m not going to get too deep into the Bharv scene because even thinking about it makes me cringe but If someone messed up my pronouns and then immediately dropped to do pushups I am most definitely killing us both. Isabela’s explanation is extremely preachy and she proceeds to do the exact thing she says she hates about people messing up pronouns. Anyways. Moving on. 
Taash I think is a good example of how to not write a multiethnic character. I don’t expect a white person like Trick Weekes to understand the first thing that comes with being multiethnic or having strict parents that intersects with that identity but it is most definitely not whatever the hell this is. 
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The only thing I can offer here is that as a multiethnic person (my father is Palestinian and my mother is mainly Irish and Seminole) is that there has never been a point in my life where I felt like I had to choose what culture I am let alone give that choice to someone else in my life I just met.
That’s not what being multiethnic is. I do not have to choose between anything - I am whole and I don't need to cut myself into halves and quarters to be accepted.
It also feels subconsciously like you are supposed to choose Rivain as the Qunari are depicted as bigoted and oppressive as they always have been in this game. Knowing all of this really tainted my experiences with them as a character and I understand a lot of other non-binary individuals love the representation they brought on that level but personally, I’m just tired of “queer representation” always coming with racist undertones. Again, this game feels like it always had white queer people in mind, not lgbt poc. 
These kinds of comments are really only made worse knowing what the Qunari take inspiration from - primarily Black and Brown SWANA Muslims. Why should Trick Weekes have any authority over a questline like that is beyond me. 
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Also, this sucked. Especially because they said it to Neve too. I don’t really want my non-binary representation sprinkled with Misogyny as well, especially since we can’t really call Taash out on this comment unless you’re playing a woman (as far as I know).
Aside from Taash, I thought the writing around Harding was strange. Don’t me wrong, I love Harding, but I do not remember her being this friendly and people-pleasing in the Inquisition. If you play as a Dalish elf the first thing she says is she’s surprised that you would care about anyone else - there is absolutely no inclination of this kind of perspective in Veilguard. Additionally, despite knowing everything Solas has done and the consequences that had on her ancestors, she still tries to push you to reason with him?
All of her quests about learning about the Titans, experiencing and embracing their anger, and you still want to appeal to Solas? That was another thing I found so weird about this game, throughout the entire story you are being told again and again that Solas cannot be trusted, he is to blame for everything, and will stab you in the back and yet it seems like every companion tries to push back on you if you agree with this viewpoint? 
Also, something I didn't know at this point of the game but I do now is that Solas had killed Varric and she does know this so why is she acting like this knowing Solas had killed her friend who she spent years with?
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Genuinely this whole game felt like: Devs: Solas is a villain
Rook: okay understood
Devs: actually nvm you don't understand him if you think he's a villain
The only companion quests I was actually genuinely interested in were Emmrich and his thoughts around death and becoming a lich. Lucanis' quests had the best boss fights for sure. Outside of that, it felt like “Go here with Bellara” or “Go here with Taash” and it got so grating I couldn’t wait for these quests to be over so I could progress with the main story. It felt like an annoying back-and-forth game to finish a main quest just to finish all the companion quests and then go back to the main quest. Like a list of chores to get through before you can have any fun. 
The inclusion of characters like Morrigan and Isabela in this universe was extremely hollow and they do not feel like the Morrigan and Isabela we know at all. With Morrigan there is a bit of an explanation to this with the essence of Mythal however she reiterates that it is still herself and it is only the memories of Mythal that remain inside of her.
In my canon playthroughs of Dragon Age, I romanced both Morrigan and Isabela, so I was curious to see how the developers would address their pasts with our Warden and Hawke. Unfortunately, the answer is that they don’t address it at all. Morrigan hardly mentions her past, leaving us to wonder if Kieran even exists. The game implies that the relationship between Morrigan and the Warden is insignificant; a codex entry oddly suggests, in a very slut-shamey way, that Morrigan had more lovers than there are trees in the forest. Isabela doesn't reference Hawke either, as she fondly remembers Kirkwall for found family and friendship. It seems that if you romanced Isabela or Morrigan, congratulations—your canon doesn’t exist.
I will echo the statement others have made about all the cameos feeling like mascots because that is really what they are. There is no substance to any of them, Isabela only feels like she is there to be a supportive voice for Taash, Morrigan will only really talk about Solas and Mythal-Dorian is the only one who actually gets a substantial quest related to him. I thought he was fine minus the "illegal slavery" bit because what is illegal slavery Dorian. Next up we will discuss legal murder.
Another thing that genuinely broke the immersion for me in this game is how awful the armor is. It is a Dragon Age game so I wasn't expecting Haute Couture but the design is all over the place and nothing looks right. Not to mention the extremely weird orientalist undertones that follow the Lords of Fortune everywhere. The outfit Isabela is wearing is even worse in person and I tried to give this game the benefit of the doubt by thinking we would be getting some underwater mission with her and that would be the explanation behind her bikini outfit - this did not happen.
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The belly dancer-esque outfits with the coin-bedazzled turbans were pretty egregious and made me want to limit my time in Rivain as much as possible. For a game released in 2024, I am disappointed we are still dealing with the same Orientalist fantasy tropes. Even the Qunari are more naked in this game than I had ever seen previously. At least DA2 and DAI gave them pants. But hey the Antaam are all blighted and evil so who cares right.
Speaking of the Antaam, a lot of the antagonist motivations for this game genuinely did not make sense to me. The Antaam are suddenly giving up their fear of magic to pair up with...the Venatori? To fight for the elven gods? It honestly felt like they had no idea who to make fight for the Evanuris so they just pulled two of the baddies from the Inquisition and went "We can just use them and call it done". When you press for information on why this is the answer is always a mustache-twirling dialogue about power. Nothing much deeper from that than any of the villains besides Solas. All of the villains, especially Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, are extremely one-dimensional and have no motivations other than being evil and striving for power. At least Corypheus had cool lines.
I'm not going to get too deep into lore changes since I know a lot of things happened in the comics, books, and TV show (all of which I did not read or watch) but I honestly do think it's a bad idea to have a "soft reboot" while needing to read several books to understand everything. That's not being welcoming to new players that's homework. If you wanted a soft reboot probably don't start off with half your plot and characters coming from various comics and novels people need to catch up on.
The portrayal of the Dalish in this game is inconsistent. When we inform them that their gods are evil and planning to overthrow the world, they respond, "Okay, heard you." How can they accept this explanation so readily? In previous interactions, Solas shared that the Dalish did not listen to him and even threatened him when he revealed this truth. Yet, when we present the same information, they believe us almost immediately. Is there no pushback or skepticism? The Dalish accept everything about the evil elven gods meanwhile Andraste’s followers remain completely unaffected by these revelations.
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I think what frustrated me even more was watching our elven companions express grief and regret over the actions of the elven gods like they had something to do with it, painting the Dalish as adjacent to oppressors when they themselves are oppressed in every way. The only thing that remains consistent is the sad boy Solas act about it.
At the end of the game, two of my companions - Harding and Emmrich- were killed. Emmrich's death was unfortunately overshadowed by a zoom-in on a rock and I had no idea he had died until I got the popup. Still, all I can think about is just going "Rock moment" when he died. I don't really have anything negative to say about Harding's death other than the way she went out was fitting for her narrative. Bellara got blighted and there were no consequences for this and she walked away from it - forgive me but I am still under the DAO impression that if you get blighted that's game over but all the rules about the Blight have been changed in this.
I decided to trick Solas, and honestly, I don’t have anything negative to say about it, except that Solas should have noticed me holding the fake dagger since it was clearly in his line of sight. I liked the idea of outsmarting the god of trickery. While it wasn’t extremely satisfying, but I’m okay with how it turned out.
Even as the credits began rolling I still have trouble believing rook's role in any of this. Just the persistent nagging idea that they really just have no place in this story at all. In the beginning I wanted to see how Rook is looped into all of this and how they become central to the fight against Solas but just like with most of the companions, I have no idea why they are here. This should've been the Inquisitor's story to finish.
I'm not going to pretend that everything about this game was irredeemable and terrible. There were genuinely parts I enjoyed and had a good time with. The romance ending scene with Neve was fantastic, even though it took a long time to get there. Davrin was an unexpected aspect of the game that I actually liked, as I never cared much for Grey Wardens before, but he changed my perspective. Harding's mention of the Inquisition was also very sweet. Although I wasn't particularly invested in Emmrich, I loved the conclusion to his quest when he became a lich lord.
While I'm not the biggest Solas fan, I actually really enjoyed the cutscenes between him and Rook because one of my aims with this game was the ability to be mean to Solas and kick him while he was down. They definitely delivered there even though everyone else kept disagreeing with me.
The worlds are beautiful and the CC is definitely the best we've gotten in any Dragon Age game, I spent probably a solid hour in there. The hairstyles are great and the four unibrow choices? Bioware you shouldn't have <3.
Overall I definitely didn't have the best time with this game and towards the end of act 2 I was incredibly bored and the combat became repetitive and stagnant enough that I turned down the difficulty to get through it faster. I can't see myself replaying this any time soon and I am unsure what my stance on Dragon Age is now, do I Ignore this game ever existed or do I carve out everything I liked and pretend this is the Dragon Age I love? I have no idea, I am disappointed at how this game leaves us off and I really wanted to sit here and say It's good but I can't.
I think this game will reach out to and resonate with a different group of Dragon Age fans than me, I just wish I could enjoy it as much as I see other people doing. I was originally going to give this game a 3/10 but knowing you can pet the cats I will give it a very generous 3.5/10.
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