#but it was a big part of my teenage years

[shuenkio]

LoserXLover | 희승 헨.하.이.픈. (⁠⇀⁠‸⁠↼⁠‶⁠)⁠ᕗ💨

Paring: Loser!seung X M!reader

Genre: Smut Synopsis: Being such a brat he is, you decided to punish your boyfriend in a very edgy way. Cw: pure smut, cum undone, edging, freaky af, cursing, dirty talk.

English is not my 1st | This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A$N: from an anon request! This is probably my last update this month since next month who knows I'd be busy but I won't accept any requests sooner. Btw 'but' using alot here, ignore it 🥲 I'm having a mental breakdowns trying to make it perfect I'm suck still at writing smau.

Finished schedule for today's promotion is a relief that everything went smoothly yet there's something that has bothered you lately which you have bottled up for sometimes now. Despite being a sub-leader in the big group full of older boys at a young age, it is half bad and half good. The good parts were already doing great the nice ones while the bad part is they're grown boys.

You'd question your own self that it is worth it? In a frustrated good way of course. Not only are all of them a ball of chaotic energy but they're also clingy, teasing, if they'll tease you, all you need was a punching bag sand to Express your annoying. However it gets used to it till it becomes a habit and sort of like everyday shit. And that's not the case for nowadays. Heeseung the oldest hyung is getting on your nerves lately.

One was he accidentally made a small mistake during the finish part today on stage yeah that's forgiven but still driving you nuts as a perfectionist you are. Two, at the dorm, Heeseung would leave his ramen bowl without washing, dishes soaked in the sink for days unless you point it out. It's one of the hell rides having the same floor and dorm with him.

Not to mention Ni-ki says nothing about this as if he is not in the same dorm. Three, the gamer boy is getting out of hand. The nagging, the yelling, the reminding is just an air that went from one ear to another gosh how difficult can he become more. He's not a damn teenager but a 23 year old guy. Did he do all of these on purpose or is it just so unbelievable that you thought this was some kind of joke? Only god knows.

By doing all of the voices won't make him flinch anymore you'd have to come with some other punishment to make him won't repeat all of the childish behavior anymore that could leave him a bit traumatized, for some time in a very good~ way. What if he might love the idea more? Only to find out. Burst in his personal room, leaning against the door way as you are staring at the lazy guy who is on the bed, scrolling on his phone as if he didn't have a busy schedule the next day. Closing the door behind, as you make you way closer before sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Heeseung hyung? We need to talk!" Murmur in a serious tone yet so calmly, request for talking. But in return he just hums in response, rooting to the core as if his body is stuck on the bed which makes you have to control yourself from being violence.

"please sit up, before I change my mind" is another demand yet this time he did as he was told. Sitting up, resting his head on the headboard.

"yes? M/n What do you want to talk about?"

"about your behavior, not to be disrespectful but this is not how I wanted you to act hyung!, you're 23 not a toddler" You claim, explain in as calm a way as possible. However, it seems like it won't work on him ever.

"I am the way I am m/n what are you... Talking about? I know I'm the oldest but I don't act like a child you say, don't just come up like that" Heeseung response, his tone is slightly offensive to your words but that makes him look even more stubborn. How can he even let those slip out. Anger boil almost explodes, trying to maintain your compose while explaining how many things about him that bother you a lot as a sub/co leader that left Heeseung dumbfounded.

But that won't last long when he just ignores the fact, carry on acting like a brat once you finish talking. This is getting out of hand, you force yourself to give him one last chance before a disaster would occur.

"what are you gonna do about me then? I'll like how I am right now, leave my room you're such a headache for me m/n, hyung need alone time" Scoff is all what left your sweet mouth, this is so irritated it's like telling a siblings to go bed time but they denying. What's more irritated? The fact he was your loser boyfriend makes it worse. Heeseung turned away and sat on his desk, opening his computer to play some games. Would you let that happen? Not this time. Stroking away your hair in boil pointed before locking the door tight, making your way to your boyfriend.

This might be the first time you've had to punish your brat lover. Seeing the sock scatter on the floor, you come up with an idea, if you can't punish him emotionally, how about physically? Smirking, like the idea so much. Before Heeseung could wear his headphones on, his gamer chair turned around by your grips. Slightly starlet the next thing he knows, both of his hands are tied up by his own socks. A very lovely sight to see such submissiveness. Yelping, confused running through his head to your new side, he can't help but to be afraid one bit, asked.

"m/n?? What are you doing? Untied me now, this is not funny.." speak in a shaky voice, as he sees your unusual attitude. Meanwhile deep down inside of him, he knows what's going to come for him. Somehow he liked it? Or he just pretends to drive you nuts so he could get this attention of yours?

"You're never gonna like it, and I won't stop until you reflect your own shitty behavior, hyung!" Waste no more time, your body lean close to him as your naughty finger sneaking on his crotch. Fiddle on his pants, around in a circling, teasing to make it rocket hard as you planning to make him so hard, so dry until he begged oh wait, why don't you make him edge? Those feelings are the worst haha.Heeseung squirmed under your touch, in a trembling breath. he was expecting this but This just feels so different, the idea of you would stroking him only to make his soft dick hurt from the tight fabric. And the fact he didn't stop you makes sense that he was waiting for this. Biting on his lower lip he stays quiet, silently enjoying your touch on his meat. He wanted to please you so badly, to make you touch him even more than this, not only to play but to make use of it.

Realized Heeseung is actually enjoying this, making you angry even more, he can't enjoy this, you need to make it hard for him to ever even feel good. In another one swift move, you unzip his pant, let it spring free out a twitching, huge hard throbbing dick that is leaking already. Such a good start,a clean cut tip free is so arousing to look at, and abuse it.

"p- please i... It kinda hurts you have to finish it m/n, y.. you're the one who started this" pleasing, his hand are tied up, it reasonable that he wanted you to finished it up as he leaking so much already ehh those transparent sticky stuff on his head.

"No, let me hear something else. Where is the brat gone hmm? I don't see any"

"but—m/n I'm not in the wrong, I'm just being myself everyday like how my routine, what do you expect from me?" He fired back, getting real pain in the ass . How brave he is to spit those out. Snort out loudly that click heeseung in the head that, he did it for himself just now, he'll be in big trouble.

"you're getting brave for real now hyung I think I might pee myself from it, but I think hmm oh well, you seriously push my buttons" Before hee can react, you hand wrapped on his shaft tightly, stroking him so fast that makes his head spinning to the weirdly speed pace. He moaned shamelessly, filled in the small space with his vocal like he was on the edge to see heaven. His stretchy hairy balls jiggle each movement you jerk him off , making a raw plopping sound mixed with pain and pleasure without liquid. Your bf's chest becomes more hitching and breathless, he wanted to scream so bad in high pitch but he couldn't, afraid the other who was in the same dorm might hear.

He knows and you know he can't do anything but to beg for your mercy. Instead It's the opposite of what you expected, you thought you'd hear him begging, whining, for mercy to stop but he was actually asking for more, and he really wanted to release it off, so impatiently. Knowing his weak spot, what are you waiting for? Masturbating his dick harder, in another brutal speed that left his eye nothing but a white eyes ball. His brain malfunctioned, feeling senseless at the moment. A few more strokes later, Heeseung started to feel jolted as his body signal he'd cum at anytime unpredicted soon.

"H- holy motherfucking shit m/n— I...I'm about to cum please... please I wanted to cum c...can I?" Hearing him beg for mercy and being so submissive for the first time make your body goosebumps, thrilling wash over as you actually found him adorable in this state or did they call that a... Kink? A new discovery kink? No way, you need to see more of this. You want more whimpers from him, making him beg, and submissive ugh so fucking turn on.

Enough with the thinking, his body soon shaking in a sign of soon to explode and your plan was to edge him off, what would he react to if you did it? Isn't it going to be fun??

"Ah...ohh... Fuck m/n I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm CUMIN— NO" he yelled it out, to be come undone but before he can cum you quickly pull your hand away for a good seconds which make him going nut on the spot, finally his body shattered undone in a half satisfied, splashing all his hot sperms on his own sweatpants. His body odor perfume all over the room, the scent of his cum, smells like cow milk, that's crazy. And Nor did he be mad or sad, his expression is clearly he's not satisfied with your action. However at least he did cum.

"why... Why did you do that? For what for??M/N?"

"This is your first punishment, you should remember this from now on. If you continue to act so stubborn again, I bet there's more evil punishment for my loser boyfriend and not just edging you— do you get it?hm?"

"y...yes my.. love I'll be a good boy.. and your good boyfriend I...I'm sorry I'll be better" he was scared ...

"that's what I love about you— very demure very lovely very good boy"

[crayonbunnyagere]

Big long ramble about some stuff below. TLDR of it is “I think we should make this community a SFW 18+ one, instead of just a SFW one.”

Yesterday’s ask has had me thinking a bit about the age regression community, and how there does appear to be a fair amount of minors in it. This is something that makes me a bit concerned for their safety. Simply put, no matter how much you argue it isn’t, we have to acknowledge that this community, the agere community, isn’t that far from the AB/DL community. For those unaware, that community is made up of people who are either Adult Babies (the AB portion, made up of people who are also age regressors, but also age players, and caregivers), Diaper Lovers (the DL portion, made up of people who love to wear diapers, either for sexual or non sexual reasons), a bit of both AB and DL. Now the AB/DL community is a kink community, and thus it only allows people who are 18 or older. Despite this, as with any kink, it can be sexual or nonsexual. There is a not so insignificant portion of the AB/DL community who are fully non sexual age regressors who are fully SFW people. But because they identify with a kink community and identity, any space they run is 18+ only, once again highlighting the Adult part of Adult Baby. Now, personally, I don’t like interacting with minors, in fact I prefer the people i interact with personally be at least 21 nowadays, as i feel teenagers, even 18 and 19 year olds, aren’t mature enough. This is a personal preference based off of my own lived experience, and because of it, i had decided a few years ago to make my personal social media accounts 18+ pages. I also wanted to make more mature art at the time (I’m an artist irl), so i felt it was also worth removing those under 18 so I could explore more mature and personal topics. When making this account, @crayonbunnyagere, i had very simple plans for it. I would model it after agre blogs on this platform, tumblr, but content wise it would basically be an art blog with occasional posts of gif sets from movies and shows i saw as a kid. It would evolve with some encouragement from my therapist, and become more blog like, with some occasional posts like the Bunny posts. Whenever i do something like go to build-a-bear or i do something like play with play dough, i would post here. Furthermore i decided to expand Crayon Bunny to Bluesky and Twitter. On those platforms I noticed the agere community is SFW, but many accounts are 18+, and I felt like on those platforms, the agere community is much closer to the AB/DL community than it is here. As such, I felt it made sense to make my agere spaces 18+ too, and honestly, I’m wondering if the community in general should be 18+. Seeing the first search results and uh…

Yeah… like, i don’t know, it just makes sense to me, to make this space 18+. I don’t really know, like, can i get some other opinions on this? Do y’all agree? Disagree? Why do you feel that way?

[hbosscreations]

I've sat on this for several days, because your analysis makes me feel feelings as a theater gay, and I think that you touch on exactly why Ride the Cyclone gets to have this conversation and Spirit World (and other modern comics don't).

Marketability.

People like to act like musicals are 'super niche' and not something that the average person will engage with, but that's not really the issue here, the issue is money. Musicals can make bank if they take off. Anything that makes it to a major stage production can generally be assumed to be raking in enough cash to pay everyone back and then some, and musical theater people will promote and encourage people to see the show no matter the cost.

Theater people are drama llamas. We LIKE laughing, crying, and being made to think after a show. A theater person will talk about their favorite show for years. Will see it as many times as their wallets will allow, and there's money to be made in a big enough production.

Ride the Cyclone gets to talk about death and sex and teenage pain because musical theater is allowed to be a vehicle to tell meaningful stories. When you go see a show like Ride the Cyclone, you're there BECAUSE it's about a bunch of teenagers begging to be brought back to life.

It doesn't necessarily matter if the show makes millions of dollars either, because in this day and age small acting companies record things and put them on youtube and use things like patreon and kickstarter to fund passion projects. Starkid is my favorite example of this. The passion is a huge part of it, and marketing allows theaters to make their money back.

Comics in the two major companies DC and Marvel though, have an industry that has been poorly managed since at least the 90s. Can't speak for creators like Image or IDW or whatnot, but I can tell you that the balancing act for DC and Marvel to try and make money has been TERRIBLY run and managed for a long time. Margins are pretty thin on traditional comics.

Which means they need to sell lots of stuff, pay their employees less, and cash grab as much as possible. It's why event comics are so common, why tie-ins are so prevalent, and even why they don't bind all the tie-ins together a lot of the time when they put collections together.

DC wants to make maximum profit, and that means making their stuff as bland as they can to appeal to as many people as possible, not realizing they are shooting themselves in the foot.

John Constantine is a fantastic example of this problem. He's in every crossover they can stick him in, because he's a cool character and he's fun to play with, but he's never treated with the dignity and depth his early comics demand. Why? I think it's because most of DC's current audience is American and they are afraid of alienating anyone by choosing a side on anything, and therefore not getting their money.

God forbid the horror comic series about a queer, burned out punk, a man who fully believed in the principles he stood behind but never had the ability or drive to try and make them happen, be about politics and queer topics. We cannot stand for anything or we risk sales being bad. We can't talk about real world topics, people don't want to read that in their escapist fantasy, even though different people get different things out of the concept.

I actually think that's a big reason Dead in America is suffering. It's not ABOUT anything. We could have had a discussion about racism that the earlier issues so CLEARLY wanted to talk about, but we might risk upsetting someone who reads the comics, that's why we have so many 'rural' stories about bad white people in the run. 'Rural whites' don't read comic books, after all (It's bullshit, but their numbers will show this, because people like me who live in rural areas have to get comics from ebay or from a reseller website because we don't have local options). We could have talked about John's complicated feelings about fatherhood, but that might hurt someone's feelings. We could talk about queer topics, but...well, that I'll blame on Spurrier not knowing or caring about queer culture.

It's why the New 52 and Rebirth stories are...not great. They're the aesthetic of Hellblazer and John Constantine, but they don't have any of the bite that the original run has. I have read the OG Hellblazer twice now and there are comics I am HAUNTED by in the best way. I can't think of many stories that have come out in recent years that have done the same thing.

Xanthe, as you've mentioned in another post, is a very generic 'asian' character in design. I didn't realize this at the time, but once you pointed it out I couldn't not see it anymore. Their character isn't really risky at the time of publication. Their backstory seems made to make numbers on tumblr, the relationship with their family only exists for screenshots to get people talking and buying. I bought it for Constantine, but also because I was pulled in by the dinner scene and Xanthe seemed interesting from the few panels we got.

And this HURTS characters like Xanthe when it comes to future appearances. I remembered Spirit World fondly because it was bland and harmless, but I read it once when the trade came out and never read it again until your post about it because it was bland and not actually engaging. My memories were fond, but I didn't think about it. It had no longevity or real thought to the world-building it wanted to create. Pretty art, lots of action (too much action), no real substance.

This story should have been Xanthe's debut instead of a crossover/teamup, detailing their cast roster, setting up future antagonists and potential enemies to become allies. It should have been about a person trying to rationalize being alive and dead at the same time and what that means, it should have talked about what death meant culturally.

Being Asian-American and having that dynamic around death would be an interesting deep dive on its own that might have fueled more readership. Instead, it seems to have left the target demographic ambivalent at best and unwilling to engage further at worst.

Why was Cassandra Cain in the story? She's Asian. Why was John Constantine in the story? He's queer. Neither character felt well written on the second read through, and more to the point, they were superfluous (and frankly I find it a little insulting that someone at DC went, well, she's popular and Asian, throw her in there).

And you're right. Xanthe will show up in team books occasionally they were in an issue of Birds of Prey recentish, but they were also paired with Constantine again. They'll be background art, they might even die in an event if they get a decent fan following specifically so they can be brought back in a super special single edition, and then be forgotten for a while.

It's a shame, because if Spirit World had the love and care to the themes it claimed to the way Ride the Cyclone did, maybe Xanthe could have been the flagship character for a new generation of readers, but we'll never know now.

I don't think I've treaded any new territory here, everything I've said, you've said better and far more succinctly, but I definitely understand your perspective better now. Apologies for the long, long rant.

Spirit World, Ride the Cyclone and Death. A weird comparative analysis

Gonna combine my musical nerd and cape comics fixation together for a rambling meta thought. I've been reflecting on how taboo the topic of death is in media after getting into Ride The Cyclone (highly recommend watching the slime tutorial and Waiting in the Wings' documentary on it) but also contrasting that musical with how Spirit World handled similar topics.

Both stories cover characters whose lives were cut short from a tragic circumstance, but while Cyclone directly talks frankly about how each character uniquely grieves over their lost life (and eventually accepts death)- Spirit World uses death as largely an aesthetic to a generic fantasy superhero adventure.

[spoilers for Ride the Cyclone and Spirit World]

Spirit World is about non-binary, half dead half living Envoy Xanthe Zhou, as they go into the Spirit World with John Constantine to rescue Cassandra Cain Batgirl. They eventually go toe to toe with the spirit of a bitter dead poet.

Ride the Cyclone is about 6 choir teenagers who die in a roller coaster accident in their small town. In the afterlife, they are given the chance to vote which one of them they believe should be resurrected.

For Spirit World, do we even know how Xanthe feels about being "half dead"? What does that even mean? They died as (what looks like) a 3 year old, and have clearly aged 15 more years since then. So they can age? Do they need to eat or drink (they're seen with a drink in a Pride comic)? Xanthe keeps mentioning they're half dead and half living, but the comic doesn't seem to want to discuss what that means. How would Xanthe feel that they were essentially given a job as an Envoy the minute they died as a very young child? Was this even a choice?

We've already covered the numerous plot holes in Xanthe Zhou's poorly thought out backstory so I won't go over that again. But honestly apart from the thematically loose "the dead shouldn't be forgotten" moral, a lot of how death is presented in Spirit World feels so superficial. When Xanthe is formally introduced as this cool character with a giant sword hanging around a gravesite, fighting all these hopping vampire creatures... this scene would play out the same if you swapped the setting with a forest and zombies as bad guys.

The Spirit World is less an afterlife for the spirits to move onto and more an MMORPG setting for our superheroes to travel across and fight generic evil beings and encounter eviler, bigger, boss battles at the end. Then there's the poet clout villain whose problems are just easily solved by Xanthe promising to remember her. I've already covered what a lost opportunity thematically this character was in my last Xanthe essay, but this time I want to contrast her with Ride the Cyclone's Jane Doe. I also want to compare Xanthe with Noel Gruber afterwards.

Ride the Cyclone's musical numbers follow each character performing a song reflecting their wishes, and musings on life (this sounds depressing but the musical handles all this with comedy and wit), hoping to prove themselves as worthy of a second chance at life. Of the characters, Jane Doe is the mysterious odd one out. The accident decapitated her, leaving her to enter the after life with no memories and the people of the living unable to identify her.

You might see where I'm going with this. So in Spirit World, Wan Yujing was this famous poet mourned by an entire empire. She only goes monster mode when a handwave-y "time erodes all" happens in the Spirit World and she is eventually forgotten- so she becomes desperate to demand to be reincarnated by the Jade Court. Because her clout ran out. Again, I already made the critique in my previous essay that this villain would better link to our protagonist if she was a queer poet whose poetry was being purposefully straight washed as an act of queer historical erasure. But I want to bring up how truly unsympathetic this villain is. She gets Shakespeare levels of clout but still demands more because she isn't getting reincarnated fast enough. Xanthe promises that as an immortal "half dead half living" person that they will remember Wan Yujing, so she too can be immortal in some way.

I think about all the Jane Doe-s in the Spirit World who don't get to be famous poets that have Empires remembering who they were. People who died anonymously without a past. In Cyclone, the main character chooses Jane Doe as the person who should be brought back to life. Our cast of teens come to terms with the fact that while it's tragic that their lives ended shortly, they conclude "to say that if one dies young, they die needlessly... that is to discount the years we had. We had a life, she didn't. That's my vote." Since Jane Doe has no memory of who she is, it's only fair that she is given that second chance.

I get that Spirit World is choosing these "larger than life" characters as villains, but it's at the expense of their own supposed themes. Of all the people to die and face off our hero as the villain, a character who's essentially an influencer but somehow has an entire empire forget about her anyway feels thematically hollow.

Modern Superhero comics are suffering from a specific problem right now; they're not really about anything. Characters don't feel like people with interior lives informed by the context of who they are. Class, race and bigotry are only touched upon as lightly as possible. Queer characters are now Pride ads with no personhood or flaws. They punch gentrified crime and fight for no one in particular. Even recent adapted media such as My Adventures with Superman and Caped Crusader follow this. Superman fights white-washed xenophobia, while Batman fights gentrified, white-washed classicism. It's why comics like Superman Smashes the Klan, Catwoman Lonely City and Alan Scott Green Lantern stand out so much. It's been a while since these characters talked about anything that matters. Don't get me wrong, slop that's about nothing exists in every industry. But when these characters and worlds historically used to have more bite- it's especially obvious.

If I could be playfully conspiracy theory-like for a second; I believe Xanthe Zhou was pitched so that DC Comics can buff out their Pride Anthology or AAPI anthology with a new younger character. The company will give this character one limited series, but that's it. Xanthe will appear in the larger DC universe whenever big magic plots happen, but that's it. Maybe they'll get a YA graphic novel. I would love to be proven wrong, but the problems with Xanthe are baked in the dough.

Because they don't feel like a person, Xanthe feels more like an industry planted Pride ad. They're designed to be the most palatable and marketable image of Asian androgyny. They literally have no flaws to grow out of, and their backstory makes no sense. They weren't built to be a sustainable solo character.

So I want to contrast Xanthe Zhou against Noel Gruber from Ride the Cyclone. Because they're both queer characters whose lives were cut short at a young age.

In a dramatic lament, Noel Gruber expresses how if he had a chance to live, he'd want to live the horrible cinematic messy life of a French sex worker woman in post-war France. He struggled as the only gay boy in a small town and never got to kiss a boy before he died. It's a look into a queer life that could've been lived, one with all the messy texture and self destruction Noel couldn't have but desires. We get to see how death and queerness intersect into rich, unflattering, gender-messy themes. "I want to be that fucked up girl." Noel sings.

But what's Xanthe's deal? They died as a 3 year old, got brought back, avoided their family at all costs for 15 years, and then had a transphobic confrontation with their family when they're invited to dinner way later. If Xanthe grew up in a transphobic household, how did they ever figure out they were non-binary when they were 3? Could they even verbalize it? Or did they instead figure out their queerness after they died? But how is that possible when they already held a level of familiar resentment towards their family's transphobia as if they've had several fights about it? It's hard to picture a 3 year old having multiple heated debates about gender with their parents for this level of resentment to make any sense.

Details aside, how does Xanthe's queerness intersect with themes of death and grief? Well, it just doesn't. This scene ends with Xanthe's sister telling them that she bothered remembering them even though their parents moved on from their death (which makes no sense since the parents wanted to have dinner with a random 18 year old they correctly assumed was their long dead "daughter" but whatever). Honestly, the only reason queerness exists in this family drama is so that Xanthe has a tense relationship with their family. The story would be exactly the same if Xanthe was a troublemaker that brought shame to their family. Who they are isn't specific to whatever grief exists in the comic.

When people give the critique that modern Superhero comics aren't about anything anymore, we usually think of these comics as "lacking political bite and commentary". We don't often think of something like Death to be political. And even though it is in many ways, it's also a social taboo to talk about. Death is an uncomfortable thing to confront, even in the safety of fiction. It's what made Ride the Cyclone such a difficult stage musical to market.

So how does a modern mainstream comic like Spirit World fit into that? It just sits there in this non-committal way. Yes, this is a story about a trans teenager who died, but only in a cool Superhero Origin Way, not in any way that would make readers uncomfortable. Bury Your Gays is a stereotype after all, so we can't talk about how queer people feel about death. We don't get to know how Xanthe feels about death as a non-binary Asian American. Especially if it's messy. It's the reason why Wan Yujing's character can never commentate on themes of historical queer erasure. God forbid superhero comics be about something.

I think about how, in the original Hellblazer run from the 80s, John Constantine had an elderly gay friend who was diagnosed with AIDS but was killed by a homophobic hate group. The comic openly talks about the sheer amount of gay people dying of the epidemic, a looming threat that informs John's queer life. It's such a culture shock, to contrast these early comics with how John Constantine is written in Spirit World. A character stripped of his own queer history and is at the mercy of incessant slutty bi jokes. Where is the desire to talk about how death informs a queer person's life? The mourning of a lost generation to the AIDS crisis? Something John lived through?

How about how any of this intersects with being an Asian American queer person? Queer people of color are often erased or purposefully excluded from queer history and communities. As a Queer Asian American, what does it mean to have identities that are often perceived to be in conflict with each other? Would your queer Asian ancestors even be remembered? Cultural differences with how you'd mourn your communities? But answering any of these questions means an uncomfortable conversation for Spirit World. For Xanthe. It threatens to be about something.

Which makes it all the more silly that, of the two stories, a musical about teenagers dying from a rollercoaster malfunction is more willing to have that uncomfortable conversation. You should ride the Cyclone.

[ghoulgums]

Askfm is finally being deleted

omg really? I don’t even know if people still use it anymore, but what a wild time that was

[spartanexperience]

Howdy! Uh, I’ve got a little request, feel free to answer as you please. Could you perhaps provide a drawing of your Selene (who is absolutely beautiful by the way)? I happen to have my own takes on both Eos and Selene and would love to draw all of them together!! Thank you!

OMG!! I would love to see your interpretation of them!!! <3 the Titan Gods of sun/moon/dawn are some of my favorites among Greek gods, I love seeing people's different takes on them!!

And I'm so flattered you like my Selene design and wanna draw her and my Eos!! Can't wait to see!!! <3 Sure thing, here's a ref image I did of the children of Hyperion and Theia sometime ago.

yes aside for Eos they're super tall. Ares is a GREMLIN compared to them lmao

As for my Selene design, I imagine her being pretty much the serious, elegant and no-nonsense, but at the same time a perfectionist fussy lady who is secretly soft. A lot like Pearl in Steven Universe XD Her and Eos often have their differences and sibling fights, but they stick together!! And they also comforted each other, when their romances with mortal men ended in tragedy. (Tithonus with Eos, Endymion with Selene)

[fridays13th]

liam’s death has finally sunk in and i’ve been crying to 1D songs since last night

[spacecrows]

me (diagnosed with ADHD): *talks about little funny/annoying things my brain does (because of the ADHD)* my mom (not diagnosed with anything): wow that's so funny, the exact same thing happens to me too! i've never heard anyone else describe that. so random that you get that too. genetics, huh? :))

[jaegerisim]

PT1

PT2

TW: internalized homophobia, manipulation, panic attacks and mileven making out (sorry y'all, it's for the plot and this the last chapter they'll do it. I pinky promise 😔 we'll get onto the Henderhop the next chapter 😀).

Also the whole diary thing in this chapter I've ripped off of the actual HP lore. 🥲 I also ripped off the whole byler fight from the s3 fight. 😞😞😞

Will was not especially happy to board on the Hogwarts Express unlike his future sister, El, who was bouncing up and down with excitement. Will had gotten to know her over the summer and despite his initial jealousy, he liked her a lot. She was sweet and caring with shoulder-length brown hair and big eyes.

Will really couldn't blame her for being so joyful, she was dating Mike after all, the most loving and perfect human-being ever and as her brother, he was happy for her. Yet, whenever he saw them together or heard them talk over the phone, his guts burnt with jealousy. El was a constant reminder of how Mike would never be his to love.

Normally sitting in a compartment with his friends would make Will happy but lately being with them made him feel alone.

Thus, the train ride had been, in Will's humble opinion, absolutely miserable. With Mike and El, in the seat next to him, not being able to stop kissing for 5 fucking minutes and Mike constantly shoving Will against the window to make room for their gross make-out session. To make matters worse, in the seat in front of him, Max and Lucas were loudly arguing but every 7 insults, they'd began to make-out sloppily.

It was as if both couples were in an intense competition of who could gross Will out more. Mike and El were clearly winning because at least Lucas and Max kiss lovingly while Mike and El just, ew.

Will was growing bored and he he'd brought his wizards chess set on board since it was one of his favorite games. Mike loved it too, and so maybe he wanted to play. Will remembered fondly how the both of them used to play it in Mike's basement. Secretly, Mike's basement felt more like home to Will than the house in which he lived. Since in Mike's basement he felt safe and mostly, loved.

So Will tapped Mike's shoulder in a poor attempt to draw his attention away from El. He was met with Mike huffing annoyed.

"Mike, do you wanna play wizards chess?" Will offered with a small smile.

"But now's not the time" complained Mike, throwing his head back.

"Is it? Is it not the time, Michael?" interrupted Will.

"Well, can I at least kiss El one last time?" giggled Mike.

"Oh, God." Max facepalmed.

Mike kissed El and reluctantly began to play. He constantly rolled his eyes, huffed and complained. Will tried to not feel hurt by his best friend's behavior but when Mike began to mock the game, something inside Will snapped.

"Fine! You win! Congratulations!" Will sneered as he got up from his seat, to leave.

"Will, I was just messing around!" Mike tried to stop Will from leaving but the other boy wasn't taking it. "Let's finish for real!"

"Just forget it Mike" sighed Will packing up the wizards chess.

"But I want to keep playing, ok?"

"I said forget it Mike, okay?" Will exclaimed "I'm going outside"

Mike put himself in between Will and the door.

"Move!" growled Will, pushing Mike and brushing passed him.

"Will, come on! You can't leave!" floundered Mike.

Bet, thought Will with bitterness.

"Listen, I said I was sorry, all right? It's a really cool game! I'm just busy with other stuff right now." Mike was clearly trying to excuse his actions but Will wasn't having it.

"Yeah, Mike, that's the problem: you guys are always busy and you're ruining The Party."

Will was finally getting to say all those things he'd felt over the the last month but hadn't told anyone out of fear. Out of fear of hurting Mike, but now Will couldn't give a fuck about Mike and his stupid feelings.

"That's just not true!" Mike shot defensively.

"Really? Where's Dustin now?" Will asked crossing his arms over his chest.

Mike remained silent as he pursed his lips.

Will asked this fully conscious Mike wouldn't know. Dustin was hanging out with Steve, someone who Dustin had bonded with over the summer. Will knew this because his brother Jonathan was Steve's boyfriend, and had told Will, Dustin tagged along on many of the couple's dates.

"See? You don't even know and you don't even care." Will spat "And obviously he doesn't either and I don't blame him. You're ruining everything and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?"

Will shouldn't have called El stupid, he knows but in the heat of the moment and with all the bubbling anger he felt, he couldn't care less.

"El's not stupid! It's not my fault you don't like girls!" Mike yelled.

That felt like a blow in the gut, leaving Will breathless and trembling. This meant he was weak and men shouldn't be weak (or so his father had taught him and Jonathan). Still, as much as it hurt, he wouldn't cry. At least not in front of Mike.

Mike must have known he fucked up because his voice became softer and quieter.

"Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk, ok?" Mike whispered but Will scoffed. "But we're not kids anymore, I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?''

Something in the way Mike said it sounded almost desperate and pleading.

"Yeah, I guess I did." hissed Will with venom and ironically Mike seemed more heartbroken than the brunet.

Will turned around on his heel and ran away towards the bathroom, trying to swallow the lump of rage he felt in his throat.

He truly was alone, he has no one to go to. He really didn't feel like going to his brother or mother and Robin was probably annoying (read: flirting with) Nancy.

When he opened the door and entered the bathroom, he sat under the sink and curled on himself. His breathing grew heavy as he repeated "Stupid, Stupid, Stupid" over and over like some sick mantra, until someone gently tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up and saw Professor Creel looking at him concerned.

"Will? Are you ok?" the teacher asked sitting down next to Will.

"No, not really, Professor." he answered. He felt comfortable with Professor Creel, he was the head of Will's house, after all.

"Call me Henry." smiled the blond "Not feeling too good, huh? Well, I can't have Slytherin's best Beater not feel good, now can I?"

Will chuckled feeling proud. At least someone seemed to appreciate his Quidditch skills.

"You know when I feel sad I like to write about it in my diary. Here, I'm gonna give you this notebook so that you can use it as a diary, ok?"

Henry handed him a black notebook.

"Um, yeah, ok. Cool" Will took the notebook and held it gingerly.

"Well, I best be off. I was having quite the discussion with Professor Argyle about a muggle herb called cannabis." smiled Henry.

Will didn't care about Mike saying Henry was untrustworthy, Henry was a great person who cared about Will unlike Mike, his former best friend.

Henry got up and left the bathroom leaving Will alone, once again.

Since Will had nothing else to do he decided to go inside the nearest stall, sit down and write something in the diary. So he took out the spare quill and ink he always had on himself. After all, he was an artist.

"Hello, my name is Will Byers." he wrote.

His writing disappeared and instead another message appeared.

Hello Will, I'm 001.

Will stared at the notebook in shock.

"Are you alive?" Will wrote, quickly.

You could say that, yes. I'm a trapped consciousness inside of this diary, more precisely. Still, I once was a Hogwarts student, which I’m guessing you are, right?

“Yes, I’m from the Slytherin house and starting my third year!” he corresponded.

I was a Slytherin too, the best house. If I do say so myself.

Will chuckled, was Slytherin truly the best house? Everyone seemed to despise them. Yeah, there were a couple of assholes in the house, like Billy and Troy, but weren’t there assholes in every house?

Will could name a few ones out of the top of his head: Steve, a Gryffindor, used to be an asshole until Jonathan and him got into a fistfight; Fred Benson, a Ravenclaw, had apparently done some pretty fucked up stuff too; Jason Carver, another Gryffindor, was notorious for being extremely stuck up and throwing wild parties in the boy’s dorm (there were also rumors of him cheating on his girlfriend, poor Chrissy Cunningham, with several girls).

"Well, do you mind if I tell you something? You can’t tell anyone, though.” Will scribbled in his cursive writing.

Sure. Who would I tell anyways?

“Ok, well the thing is that….” Will recounted what happened with Mike and the further in the story, the tighter he gripped his quill. When he finished, he waited to see 001’s response:

That kid sounds like such an ass, not gonna lie. You should really stop considering him your best friend. Best friends don’t treat you like absolute garbage.

Will pondered this, and really, 001 was right.

This “conversation” kept on going for the rest of the train ride and school year. Will avoided The Party, except Max, at all costs and constantly run away to “talk” with 001 (much to Mike’s disgust and jealousy).

The year went by swiftly until the very last week of June, during which, Billy had begun a fire in the Forbidden Forest in a desperate attempt to break up Max and Lucas. Fortunately, neither Lucas or Max had been harmed but Billy died. The fire was known as The Great Fire of ‘85 and it left Max completely devastated. Mostly, because her step-brother had tried to murder her and Lucas for being an interracial couple. This left her with a huge emotional burden she’d only told Will.

Thanks to 001 he’d realized that he didn’t need to be friends that weren’t from his own house. 001 had taught Will new and more powerful spells, he’d also taught Will about how being a Slytherin mean being the best.

Now, Will was determined for Max to meet 001, his other best friend, and for him to teach Max all the things he’d taught Will. So he asked a delighted Professor Creel for another notebook for Max, who reluctantly accepted it. After a day of using it, she admitted to having loved the present.

Max and Will liked to gush about 001’s appearance and while Will imagined him as a handsome man, Max imagine him as a sickly old man. They loved their new friend and thought that 001 was the only friend they needed.

In their innocence, they both believed to have met an angel or even god, when they’d actually made a deal with the devil.

[freakingweirdo]

omegle ceo saying that shutting down the site is equivalent to “Destroying the universe because it contains evil” like it wasnt Literally the Child Grooming site . Actively known for grooming children.

[pinkcadillaccas]

Anyone else feeling the relentless march of time on this Saturday night

[rainswept]

why is it that blade is either characterized as 1. *growls* “MINE” alpha male asshole, 2. a total creep, 3. super lovey dovey, or 4. Emo Teenager OooohHhhh death death suicide death for ‘no reason it’s just for attention!!1!’

[niteshade925]

:)

[transgaysex]

my emotions are all over the place

[ripley-ryan]

tattoo that says i <3 making friends. if my chosen career path did not rely on my appearance i would so get it. because truly i heart making friends

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I was complaining/making fun of young teenagers who make these edits of kpop idols and at some point my friend was like oh but we weren’t that much better

Ohh no hold up I was very much better

There are few things I’m prideful about but this I am, I was way to fucking aroace for that even if I didn’t know it then

[sunnywalnut]

No but I'm still looking for the Denny's that is still in the middle of nowhere

having cis guy friends is so funny like youll ask if they wanna hang out and theyll send you to the dark woods