#due to bad grades
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me (diagnosed with ADHD): *talks about little funny/annoying things my brain does (because of the ADHD)* my mom (not diagnosed with anything): wow that's so funny, the exact same thing happens to me too! i've never heard anyone else describe that. so random that you get that too. genetics, huh? :))
#sure mom. funny. funny coincidence.#this happens every time i see her#it happened like 6 times today alone#meanwhile my dad and my sister are staring at us like 'your brains do WHAT now???'#she doesn't really know much about adhd#i only got diagnosed a few years ago and she wasn't part of that process at all because she was living in another country back then#and like. i've gently mentioned to her before that genetics seem to play a big role in adhd too#and that actually many people get a late diagnosis when their child gets diagnosed#and it's fine. i won't pressure her to look into it more because she's doing well!#i don't think she needs meds or therapy or whatever at this point#but i just feel like it might help with how she sees herself? because it's so deeply engrained into her that she is Not Smart???#because she flunked out of school as a teenager???#due to bad grades#and like. oh i wish i could talk to that girl#things turned out well for her and she's generally a happy person#but still. i know part of her think she's stupid. and i fucking hate that#anyway i mainly just think this is really funny when it happens#adhd#nd
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Going to college as a nontraditional student with an office job is kinda funny bc now when a professor messes things up in a way that fucks me over instead of being like "omg this authority figure is so unfair 😭" I'm approaching it more with the vibe of like "if Karen from Accounting doesn't fix this mistake that's hindering my work after my third passive aggressive email I'm going to CC her boss"
#my professor has multiple things messed up on her online course that are actively preventing me from preparing for the midterm exam#1. the notes she uploaded for last weeks lesson are in an unviewable format (its a .bin file? she converted an image to binary code??)#2. she hasnt uploaded the content for this weeks lesson yet. and that content is going to be tested on the midterm#3. both her syllabus and the review guide she uploaded mention a pre-midterm test thats worth 2% of our grade#and i think is supposed to help us prepare. but she hasnt uploaded that or even mentioned it at all?#4. the exam itself isnt in blackboard yet. which wouldnt really be a cause for alarm if it was any other professor#i would just assume they were probably waiting to upload it until the day of the exam#but given everything else shes messed up so far im worried she messed something up with that too and it wont get uploaded at all#so. she said in the syllabus that we should message her directly in blackboard with any questions and she'll respond within 48 hours#but my first message was sent on friday. it is now tuesday#she said to send a follow up if she doesnt respond within 48 hours. i sent a follow up yesterday morning and she still hasnt responded#and im not going to wait another 48 hours when the exam is in 3 days and she still hasnt even uploaded the final lesson that will be on it#so. shes getting a text from me at the phone number she listed now like#if she doesnt respond to that within a few hours then i might call#and if she doesnt respond to THAT then im going to put it in an email and CC the head of her department or smth#bc we NEED to be able to prepare for the midterm. its THIS WEEK. some people are actually scheduled only TWO days from now#its already bullshit that shes including this lesson on the midterm when the due date for it is AFTER the exam#but then shes also THREE DAYS LATE (so far) uploading it??#AND she hasnt uploaded the pre-test or even mentioned it at all???#rambling#this professor is gonna get a BAD review from me man#its already bad enough that her online course is structured so poorly that its hard to even tell what we should be doing each week#and now this shit
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I think I might need to give up and admit I’m too stressed about my animals to be able to focus on school work today and just need to do animal stuff instead..
#also there are four other people in my group and im the only one who has done anything on some parts#so other people should definitely step up and put more work in#its not like anything is ACTUALLY due for a grade today#we just shouldnt procrastinate too much#but i really wish oort hadnt gotten out last night :(#bought himself a ticket to the vet cuz hes wheezing real bad now#i think its from all the dust he got into#hes had no other RTI symptoms before this at all#the wheezing showed up just in the hours between catching him and checking him again#ecdysing
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i see the words "SMART Goals Learning Plan Assignment 1". my eyes glaze over as i try to conceive of a possible issue i could pretend i have so i don't gotta talk about the autistic issues i'm already handling and definitely do not want to tell my teacher about
#on the one hand i can understand like why they'd want us to set goals and stuff#but can we make it NOT FUCKING WORTH PART OF OUR GRADE???#my one goal is to fucking get through uni and get whatever degree i end up with. thats it. i dont even want to be here.#i can't say that though cause that's ''too broad'' or ''not a real goal'#they want shit like ''im bad at attending lectures so im gonna try and be better at that'' I DONT HAVE ISSUES LIKE THAT. I DONT.#i had to do this fucking assignment last year and i was pissed off about it then and im even more pissed off about it now#cause apparently its due on FRIDAY and it was not mentioned ONCE???#NOT EVEN ONE TIME. ITS NOT EVEN WRITTEN ON THE SYLLABUS.#I ONLY FOUND OUT CAUSE THE PLACE WHERE WE SUBMIT THE ASSIGNMENTS ELECTRONICALLY NOTIFIED ME ABOUT IT#last time it took me a week to come up with something conceivable and now i have to do it in less than 48 hours#and they want us to be even MORE specific this time around#like straight up. what is the fucking point. how does this help. why does it impact our GRADE?????
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Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?
I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation
But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo
Art requests open
#nevermore webtoon#i debated on posting this response when you sent it because 1) spoilers but 2) i swear i neededa fucking warning for this shit#“jessie and james vibes” my ass#monty has been giving off major r@pist vibes since his introduction#and while this makes sense as a good angsty plot point for ada. i dint think it should be endgame for a plethora of reasons#the past month ive known about this ive been waiting for the community divide that will probably occur ocer this#and i dont want people to fight#nevermore has been there for me for well over a year. helping me through the days since 11th grade. when i was 16. and im graduated now. 18#the community has been an absolute blast. even if im not as active on maincord anymore. with life getting busy and just too much to backrea#and im scared of losing that#but hey i got some art coming up in the next few days and I'm about to go to a wedding and you bet your ass im bringing my sketchbook#pls give me requests ive been in idea art block#and i dont think you guys want me making a bunch or horror movie aus cause that may end up in me drawing slight gore eventually#sorry to the other patrons for lying how i felt about this ship#i did truly feel neutral when i first saw it but now it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth#it makes me feel sick#a good part of my feelings towards it is due to how it got talked about in the Patreon streams and how uncomfortable it made me and others
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sociology ☹️
#bro i hate this teacher sm#she gave at least half the class a 0 on the discussion board from last week#bc she wants it formatted a certain way except she had sooo many rules abt how it needed 2 be and everyone i think was a bit confused#bc it was week 2. so she graded the first one just fine and stated minor things that needed 2 be there next time#HOWEVER. SHE DID NOT GRADE WEEK 1S DISCUSSION BOARD UNTIL THE DAY THE 2ND ONE WAS DUE#AND SO MOST PEOPLE HAD ALREADY DONE IT INCLUDING MYSELF#so she then proceeded 2 give a bunch of people (INCLUDING ME) a 0. bc we didnt follow the critiques. that we did not get until after.#we’re able to resubmit and shit but she didnt state anything about it/put in grades until late afternoon yesterday#and the deadline to resubmit it today. like girl wtf this aint my fault#im so fucking pissed off about it. this week sucked bad. however. this weekend will be good. and i got my shirt. and the album came out#the little things or whatever#ghost boy rambles
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I had a dream where a 3rd J.udgment game was announced and M.ine showed up for one split second in the reveal trailer with this super hot evil smirk on his face and Twitter was going batshit crazy over it
Then I woke up and got really disappointed
#ash rambles 💚#you were beautiful 💸#it's like also 6:30am rn#i jolted awake and ran to check twitter just in case something important happened in the y.akuza fandom#but nope. it didnt. at all. now I'm disappointed. and sleepy...#goodnight!!!!#hmm what else is going on in my life..? uhhh. I've got a massive final paper due tomorrow! i should... probably start that haha#I've got this other group project that i don't feel motivated to work on anymore because my group member (absolutely unsolicited)#popped into my DMs and was like 'hey here are some suggestions for your paper' and the comments were just mean as fuck#like what the fuck man. what the actual fuck?? this group member is also like two decades older than me-#but thats alright I'll do it eventually (also because I'm graded on how my group members review me and... if this little bitch gives me a#bad review and fucks up my chances at getting a 4.0 in every class this quarter...........)#hmmmm what else#I've been playing y.akuza 5! i just got to the hunting part. I'm bored. when does this shit get good?#oh and i've been rewatching f.airy t.ail when i have the time#and m.onster too because.. um.... dr. t.enma 👉🏽👈🏽#oh nooo (fake cough) I'm sickkk i need a doctor hahaha preferably a really hot one with a super nice voice and beautiful smile and-#and that's about it for my life updates ajdjshdjaj at least all that I'm comfortable sharing here#I'm still mad about my dream though#like. I'd be fine even if m.ine didnt show up again. maybe he survived and him and ash just decided to disappear off the grid together#but. I WANT THAT THIRD J.UDGMENT GAME#PLEAAASEEE#OH OH!!! ONE MORE UPDATE!!!!#i made a bad financial decision on black friday and now.. once my package arrives... I'LL HAVE EVERY MAINLINE Y.AKUZA GAME IN MY GRASP!!!#I AM SO POWERFULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also bought s.oul hackers 2 bcs it looked interesting. anyone here like it?#hmmm I'm going back to sleep#gn#honk shoo mi mi mi mi
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Going to be so brave and do uni work even though it is filling me with dread and I am tired. But I feel too on edge to relax.
#we’ve had a wobble due to a bad-ish grade for a presentation#but I’ve had time to like. put it into perspective and I am trying to get back on the saddle#and not worry about the meeting I have on Tuesday#I just feel like I’m going to get told off or something which is ridiculous
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sobbing. why do i have to go to class today
#i am in my pathetic lump of a person era i fear. finals can’t come soon enough i need to be free from these assignments#<- yea i like exams. easy grade booster when ur classes are done by the devil incarnate#anyways cramps + headache + stress from assignments due tmr that i’m not even halfway done. i need to be an alien so bad#aliens don’t have expensive and stressful school they need to attend to get a job bc they need to afford to put a roof over their heads#pain and suffering on planet earth#maz rambles
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Had a major breakthrough in my voice lessons today 💃 feelin good. Time to. WRITE
#pointing at myself in the mirror. YOU. WRITE. NOW#I also have an essay due tomorrow morning so I should probs work on that a bit but. shrug#it’s already halfway done#it’s the one class I have a bad grade in though bc I missed an assignment sooo 😬#chalcy stuff
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Wow, today has been. Rough. Was working on school stuff for about 10 hours straight. Woke up early to work on my essay (and stayed up late to work on my essay), so I only got Maybe 5 hours of sleep... and then I went to class, where I worked on my project due on Wednesday. It's mostly done. Then I sat and wrote for nearly 6 hours straight. Did finish the essay. Missed the time to turn it in today though. So I emailed my professor and asked if it'd be fine to turn it in tomorrow. And also offered to send a digital copy if he'd like. No reply yet, but it'll probably be fine.
I am... so, so tired...
#speculation nation#but the biggest thing is out of the way...#i also have to do a reflection thing tonight. im going to at least eat and rest first.#and i have an assignment due tomorrow around 1:30 (probably).#ive written all the words i have to write today so thatll have to be done in the morning. Wooo waking up early again.#gonna try to go to sleep earlier too tho to offset it.#then i have presentation on wednesday... midterm for another class i Think? this week. need to check on that.#and then normal weekly reflection and quiz due on friday.#guys how did i ever survive full time school while also working a job. im dying.#(i know how. I Did Bad In School. lol.)#im fuckin dying But i havent missed an assignment Yet (aside from the quiz i forgot a few weeks back)#(not to worry lowest quiz grade gets dropped. so i just have to be sure not to miss Another.)#in better news next week is october break. please please please i need it so bad#just gotta get thru this week and then i can truly rest. just a little longer
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Hate when people say "welcome to the real world" cause my brother in christ aren't we always in the real world??
#The real world as they call it is when something bad or hard happens#Which is not mutually exclusive to over 18#Children die everyday because we think they are safe with bio families#Or because people think they deserve to die#Children have to balance their grades to get into college while also filling out hundreds of forms to pay for it#That's not getting into any political groups they are part of due to their minority status#Even then people say this to adults because they are showing negative emotions due to something#At this point is the real world just your own maladaptive version of your own trauma due to not having coping mechanisms#Or proper self esteem and awareness of your own worth?#Stop spitting on those who speak up because you can't bare to look at your own issues#Why don't you give them a helping hand and understanding instead?
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had to wake up at 9am today to teach high school kids kindred over zoom and im being so brave and strong about it
#i love this job but oh my godddd no one talks on zoom#ive to lead my second section in 20 mins#its too early for this#im literally so brave and strong for doing my job#and still have to grade their work#and ive like four discussion posts to write and two overdue essays + 1 essay due this week#so so much to do#april during college truly be Bad huh#still wouldnt trade it for the world#aisha.txt#college tag
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i just fart it and my eyes startef watering cus either the smell was really bad or im just sleepy
kill yourself
#was gonna tell u to sleep but ykw. sleep forever. i hate u. Go To Sleep i feel like im getting a bad grade in adult on internet#dunkey. Go To Sleep. Also Ur Just Sleepy. Im Pretty Sure We Cant Smell Our Oan Farts Very Well.#also dont tell me to sleep im being productive (doing my assignment due tomorrow that i procastinated on)#yes to whoever's seeing this it IS one am for both of us but she needs the sleep more ok. also im an adult.#sara's asks#dunkey <33
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In a fragile state of self confidence where I think if I receive a piece of bad academic feedback I might actually just drop out. And start crying. Slay ✌️😗
#also huge problem: the last three pieces of work I handed in were not up to my usual standard due to me being incredibly stressed#so the likelihood of receiving a bad grade is like. quite high.#cue me having a breakdown in front of my year tutor#who is very lovely#feel like arranging a meeting with him to ask ‘I feel like I’m too stupid for this what should I do my dissertation on’#so fucking embarrassing to be this in need of validation like girl grow up!!#get over it!!
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IM, SO SICK OF SCHOOL I COULD BE LEARNING SO MUCH IF I DIDN'T HAVE FUCKING ASSIGNMENTS
#i'm in a fucking christianity course basically and the professor doesn't give a shit so i haven't done jackshit#and now my assignment worth 30% of my grade is due tmrw and i had to do all of the reading all at once and whoa who would've guessed it was#kinda fucking interesting. it's almost like i should've been doing it all along. BUT I'M ALWAYS FUCKING BEHIND. SO I HAVEN'T BEEN. afhjghjd#i am so close to the end!! i am manifesting becoming a reader again when i am out of school#i want to read for pleasure so bad!!
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