#i think i’m just more sad bc this whole thing has me reflecting on fandom in general and how fucking happy i was during peak 1D

[fridays13th]

liam’s death has finally sunk in and i’ve been crying to 1D songs since last night

[dayurno]

sorryyyy for bringing some type of discourse to your inbox but I just giggle whenever anyone brings up the fact that nora soad andrews a misogynist and their only argument is the fact that he's friends with renee and dating neil who said women are the strongest ppl i know, like i don't personally think he's a misogynist, but i feel like there has to be better arguments for it😭

maybe it's bc the fandom gets on my nerves so I'm more sensitive to any attempts a defanging and making characters more palatable bc I'm not a fan of the widespread fanon versions of the characters also it's sad I feel like the fandom made some sort of progress where discussions were being had about the problems in the series and now after tsc came out it feels like we're back to where the author can do no wrong and it's hard to criticise anything

what do you think about tsc being a triology, I feel like two books can hopefully give Jeremy the depth he needs i remember you found him a bit flat as well when you read the book, I see a lot of people saying he needs to have a mean side or a traumatic past but I feel like a kind, nice character can be interesting without those things and not every kind character needs to have this secret mean side anyway, personally I groaned out loud when I found out it was a triology bc that would mean the fandom would be alive for longer and it's so crazy out of any book fandom I've ever been in for some reason the aftg fandom feels the most obnoxious maybe it's bc the books deal with heavier topics close to the heart so there's more feelings involved����the only book fandom who has pissed me off a comparable amount would be asoiaf but that's a whole different thing

I really do try and be happy I'm not even in the fandom anymore and I've never followed aftg twitter accounts and I don't even check the tags I just go on certain blogs but i still see things it's horrible💔like I can't believeeee we're still discussing if Kevins a coward or not and how selfish he is for leaving the nest like we've already argued about this to death on tumblr back in like 2016 now it's the same thing again💔

LOL i understand honestly so many of these discussions are repackaged wide-spread 2015 opinions which don’t reflect the original text that it’s hard to do anything except use the we have this thread every week comrade image and let it go. andrew being misogynistic is not even hard to come to terms with considering it’s not an interpretation or a headcanon it’s the author’s own words and will for the character incorporated into canon. there are things to disagree with nora sakavic for, but ultimately there is a difference between disagreeing with the author and willfully ignoring the intention with which a character was written

& i didn’t really care much for the news, i think the lack of planning and the rushed way the books are coming along are grating on both the author and the fandom, but i don’t blame her for wanting to get this done and over with. it will show more insight on jeremy hopefully, but unfortunately i already don’t care 😭 i think the route tsc took was in general uninteresting and pedestrian enough to not warrant a second thought, and i’m not particularly interested in any plotline beyond what pertains to kevin and the ravens. what surprised me really is the total lack of impact tsc had on the fandom, which is to say, i think it was so in line with the same 3-5 headcanons passed around the last 10 years that it has genuinely done nothing for anyone aside from the people who were already very invested in jean and/or jeremy. it feels like a different fandom from aftg altogether, which i’m happy about if only because it keeps us all locked in different cages, but it still baffles me to see people dedicate so much thought to a book whose characters bar jean are, as of now, the very definition of Nothing burger. all in all the answer to that question and most questions pertaining to tsc is Who cares. because literally who cares

LMFAO staying away from aftg twt is really good for you & honestly all of us. it’s still so funny to me that not even nora sakavic herself wanted to touch that mess. mentally ill white suburbanite teenage shut-in echo chamber ass fandom

[golbrocklovely]

I’m gonna say that it scares me how bullying other people has been normalized on the Internet to the point that people with morals and brains who do not really even like the person that is being harrased are made fun of for simply trying to stop the hate.

I am not even here talking about the whole sam and katelyn situation. I am talking in general. I’ve noticed that in many fandoms harrasing people online that we do not like, making fun of them in every possible way has been so normalized that a person who praises them will appear as a “silly” for a bigger audience of fans. Like what? Like f.e this has been a thing rn in yr fandom (idk if you watched the show). People have been targeting E and hating on him for having a gf (literally… same thing as snc lol) and making fun of people who are being just supportive and lovely.

I, like everyone else also have people i dislike. But what the heck is the point of bringing it to the Internet and basically sending those people hate? And that applies to everyfuckinhone. Sam, Colby, Edwin, idk Katelyn, Malia, Katrina etc etc. If you do not like someone… just shut up and rant to your bestie about it on private. Why bring it into public space when everyone can see it ? INCLUDING the person you are making fun of /hating on. There has been sooo many cases of people trying to commit s*icide or committing it only due to online hate they received and i wonder how many more of it will take for people to finally reflect that what you put on the Internet and how you treat others can have very big influence on how they are feeling and things can turn really really bad turn. Or are we are just gonna stay as immature wannabe “cool and savage” mfs, who are just mean and sad and one by one gonna all k*ll eo either is literally or metaphorically (like kill eo happiness and personalities)

i agree with you so much, anon.

it's so odd to me how easy it is for certain ppl to hate someone they truly don't know.

and look, i won't pretend to be a saint. plenty of ppl know who i don't like bc i've talked about it. however, i have never in all my years of being on the internet (both in this fandom and not) have went to someone's page and hated on them directly or dmed them. i don't wish harm on those i don't like or disagree with. but so many ppl do and it's truly upsetting.

do i complain on here about ppl that aren't on here? yes. but i'm not gonna go to a site they are on and @ them and say "hey here's why i don't like you" bc that type of behavior to me is hella weird.

truly i think more ppl would benefit from just buying a journal and writing shit out there. bc too many ppl feel embolden to be as rude as possible, as if there isn't someone else on the other side of the screen.

bullying online never makes sense to me bc… what exactly do you want the end result to be? for them to hurt themselves? deactivate? never come back online? i just don't understand what thought process you have to think that harassing someone is gonna make them bend to your will, whatever that might be.

and no, i don't watch the show you're referring to, but i can believe that 100%. that happens so often to any male figures in literally every form of media. it's so odd. hell, i know i used to act that way when i was younger and in the jonas brothers fandom. but even back then i didn't @ miley cyrus and say she didn't deserve nick jonas lol

this is the first time in a long time i've ever actually considered leaving the fandom. not only has this harassment of katelyn really been eye opening to me, but also just the way sam went about all of this too. it all has left a sour taste in my mouth. but i'm trying to just remember that surrounding myself with nice ppl in the fandom (or those that are reasonable enough to not harass another person) is the better option than just up and leaving. bc i do love snc, even if rn i'm disappointed by them.

i just wish ppl would be nicer. maybe it's bc of my depression or past issues with bullying, but it's so disheartening to see all of this play out the way it has. and while i know i haven't always been kind, i at least try to be. but i feel like so many don't even do that. and that's a real shame.

[yeo-rims]

the fact that they have to use the fat character as a plot device for some growth or whatever is so lame it’s like the 10th time druck misses the point so fcking badly it even makes me wonder if they actually care about what they’re trying to say. if it was any other series, not one that people go around saying it is informative and educational, maybe I wouldn’t be so upset. but just like their treatment of characters that aren’t skinny/white is so very telling. sam, who had no plot outside men, amira who simply had no plot in her own season, ava and the way she is treated by the narrative, how now lou is now a mean to an end and not a character, how finn has no lines whatsoever and how they managed to fck it up a season from a character that had so much potential and not because of a lame love triangle, but bc they were too weak to improve and instead they’re trying to do something that is palatable to their audience... like, i have a lot of complains about druck (see above), but the og seasons at least they were daring to do something new, have mia being an awful person and being called out for it, having the sa* scene not be about a man, the whole third season (outing scene aside), the scene when amira punches a girl, the other scene when amira throws a ball at a n*zi, fkng s5, man, the amount of care and consideration that went into nora’s diagnosis (being someone who’s studies that, i knew it since the beginning what she had bc they actually did a good job), fatou and kieu my being an interacial couple and none of them are white, just fatou learning she has a learning disability (which i still think she should’ve known prior and it would make the season more compelling), ava and fatou's bond.... like, i’m far from being a druck hater, i even went to another continent bc of them which is wild, but also the best experience of my life. but like s7 actually highlights everything that is wrong with the team behind it (either the writers, the company) and the fandom. it’s fine to disagree, but people in here are so disingenuous and mean and don’t realize how much they hurt others with their racism/fatphobia. i know those things are deeply rooted but how can y’all claim to be so woke and just act like this... it’s like a reflection, you know? this season is as bad as the fandom, bc the moment we showed them we actually care more about some random white boy named william than josh, the moment fatou’s season isn’t trending and people are more concerned about mailin... that’s when they just go the opposite direction. do i think this is tumbledotcomsfandom fault? not entirely, of course. it’s all over the yt, ig, tt... for once, i think we’re not even the worst part of it. but still, it’s very upsetting and so very sad to see something i love and care for so deeply to be reduced to people yelling about the white best friend, completely missing the point many marginalized people are making just bc yall don’t think the sht druck is doing can actually hurt the viewers. not to mention the complete disregard of one's gender. but this is long enough already.

[teacup-tai]

Summer Fics by Tai

I just wanted to rant a bit and reflect on the last 2 months. Well, this summer came with sadness. My 14 years long relationship came to an end, or maybe a semi-colon (I hope so). I had SO MANY emotions going on! So I stress read as always and wrote SEVEN FICS(!!!) only six posted, after months of writer's block.

I'm writing this post because I want to appreciate myself and creativity and resilience and all these nice stories that I managed to write in a very short amount of time. I'm proud of all them, they are *so diverse* and *so special* in their own ways:

Breaking wild roses (stings like love's pain) - 1.4k, E, Pansmione

I feel like a scream is stuck inside my chest, creeping up in the deep dark hollow of my throat. It’s a mix of pain and agony. So to keep it down, I open my mouth and fill it with your soft, tender flesh. The bronze skin of your shoulder right against my tongue.

I'm honestly proud of this smut with feels and I need to thank special people who helped, be prompting or betaing this story; thank you @the-starryknight, @sketchyblondes @phenomenalasterisk

The Truth Runs Wild - 3k, E, Blairon

It’s Harry’s fault and his whole ‘gay awakening’ and all the shit he had to hear Harry talk him through, in the name of friendship and supportive brotherhood. But honestly, if Zabini licking his lips can be this sensual, what could he do with a dick in his mouth? Ron flushes, because he cannot be honestly thinking about Blaise Zabini and blowjobs. Like, he’s straight, right. Right?

and it's sequel: Only Fools Fall - 5.3k, E, Blairon

Blaise planted a kiss against Ron’s temple and moved away to watch him with big black attentive eyes. “I only wanna make you feel good,” he assured him. And Ron felt himself blush, because Zabini was looking soft and warm and it was making things inside Ron’s chest turn and pull. This was getting way too real. Or: Ron wants more, then he gets pretty confused. So Tai decided to write a Blaise/Ron love story out of it.

This wouldn't have happened without the nonnie who boldly asked my opinion on Blairon, lol. And without the amazing help of this lovely alpha-beta crew: @erajakira , @olliemaye, @crazybutgood . I had such great fun writing these fics, I'm in love with this universe for real! Blairon for the win! this wouldn't be the same without the mutual hype of @thusspoketrish and @anaxandria-writes for our lovely August with Gusto: Blasie Zabini Appreciation Month!

For God is Love - 3k, M, Drarry

1 John 4:8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. Or: Tai decided to write a religious AU fic, in which draco and harry are catholic priests, bc I wanted to read it :)

Got the amazing help of @corvuscrowned and Jay, and honestly if it weren't for @tackytigerfic also enjoying this trope it wouldn't have happened. I LOVED writing such a different trope and mood than I normally write. So thank you y'all!

Space Bodies - 1.5k, M, Drarry

She tastes like a love story. Or: my dream came true and I wrote a drarry fic with trans!draco being this gorgeous woman and I can die happy now.

It made my day to write this fic for the @drarrymicrofic with the amazing help of @softlystarstruck, @atgranger and Logan.

Claraboia - microfic, Drarry

"Look what I've found," Draco says in a surprised and tender voice. Harry is still learning all the nuances of his voice and this one is new.

BIG thank you to @onbeinganangel and @the-starryknight for making me dive into the microfic realm.

I also want to thank InnerLilith for betaing a gen fic about Pansy that is not pubished yet. And all the amazing friends from the drarry squad that keep me going when life is shit, specially @sitp-recs who holds my hand when time zone allows and hypes me up.

THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS! YOU MADE SUCH A DIFFERENCE IN MY SUMMER SADNESS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

I got a new job in a new city and I'm moving out tomorrow. I dunno when I will be able to write in the forseeable future. BUT THANK YOU. This last year has been filled with up and downs. And me being back to the drarry fandom is @quicksilvermaid fault, bc of the @hd-hurtfest from last year. Without your prompt I wouldn't have written my sadass drarry fic, and stayed for the long run, and so many things in my life changed bc of that fic. I'm emotionally healthier now and I'm moving forwards, thanks Q!

Cheers folks! Sending love, tai.

[lokidyke]

my issue with loki ending up with Sylvie is not that I don’t think he should end up w a woman, or even with the whole selfcest thing bc, I mean, it is loki. Tbh if they want to pair loki up with a woman I think there are ways to do that. My issue is that I simply don’t think he has any chemistry with sylvie, which makes me think that they didn’t do any chemistry and the romance was a shoehorned-in afterthought bc ppl kept demanding that there be. Romance in the loki show. I also just think sylvie’s aesthetic is bland, because I get the sense they are hesitant to make her look too much like loki to keep it from feeling weird. But like, if ur gonna go with a selfcest plot - just commit to it you know ! It makes no sense that Sylvie would want to look blonde in order to be different from our loki if she had no prior awareness of our loki. And also, I feel like she wouldn’t want to look blonde because then she would look related to Thor, and there’s no circumstance where that would make sense to me; no matter what loki would want to stand out from Thor, and the way he looks is reflects that.

anon how does it feel to be a mind reader?

i’m with you basically 100%. i think a well written romance between loki and a woman could be done beautifully, and it wouldn’t HAVE to involve selfcest. i have a distaste for selfcest bc it just seems like boring JO materials as opposed to an interesting relationship dynamic.

but yeah loki and sylvie have zero chemistry. it feels like it was intentional from the jump and not an afterthought because tom’s acting for loki and sylvie scenes really gives it away- he’s a great actor, and you can tell he played for romance, or at least he played it with loki having complicated and potentially romantic feelings for sylvie in mind. regardless, their chemistry is incredibly forced. sophia is a fantastic actress, but she’s given almost nothing to do. she has no emotional interest in loki and is only interested in taking his help in her quest to find answers, which isn’t a bad thing, just poorly written and lacks understanding of who the focus of the show is supposed to be on.

i agree a lot with the mention of her look and hair. her outfit is very loki inspired, which i like, and yea i dont get why she had to be blonde. my first thought was “well since she’s a frankenstein character of lady loki and sylvie the enchantress, the blonde hair must be inspired by the enchantress” but i’m with you. loki will always want to stand out from thor, and having the same hair color as him would probably bother her. they literally only gave her that hair color so sylvie looked different from loki, which you’re right, shows how confused the writers were when it came to the selfcest. they want to play with it but won’t commit to it, so it’s just fucking uncomfortable and horrible to sit through.

speaking of thor, the fact that sylvie hasn’t mentioned her thor AT ALL, even with him coming up in the show all the time. i think this is deliberate too, similar to the hair thing- they don’t want the audience to acknowledge that they share a brother, or else the audience would feel grossed out by the selfcest because it’s connecting them in a sibling like fashion. which, again, either do selfcest or don’t. i don’t want them to but the fact that they seem on the fence about it themselves is what makes it so much worse.

also has anyone else noticed that literally NOTHING plot wise has happened in the show since episode 2? like nothing has happened. just loki and mobius’s relationship, which i’m sad we didn’t get more of.

anyway, i love lokius and sylvie/B15. i wish sylvie had a character and personality instead of being a live action Y/N. i wish anything that involved the TVA made any sense at all. i wish they didn’t needlessly add that line where all the other loki’s are horrified at the prospect of a female loki, because loki’s are canonically genderfluid and they know this and have acknowledged it but are just ignoring it and are being transphobic by doing so. i’m glad to see loki whoring it up in the year of our lord 2021, though.

last but certainly not least, the way they treated boastful loki was racist. it just was. and the fandom is acting racist as fuck about it too, acting like boastful loki betraying the others to align w president loki is some irredeemable evil. they’re all LOKIS. they do that shit and it’s funny! i love you boastful loki!!! they literally used it as an excuse to write him out of the episode, and for what??? for WHAT??? all the characters of color are either villains and/or are treated like garbage (B15 locked up in her cell for helping sylvie and just being fucking left there).

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[tequiladimples]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes. 

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

[blackberry-gingham]

This is a bit personal but how about beatle x reader headcannons/imagines of how the boys would react to their reader feeling self conscious about their body

No problem at all! So, I've seen this trope done quite a bit on other headcannon type pages for other fandoms, and since body insecurity is something very serious to me that I myself use to (and still do) deal with, I wanted to try and take this a little deeper then "you're sad, they tell you you're beautiful, the end", so I'm sorry if these get a touch angsty, but I promise everything works out ❤️

Also, I'm so sorry this took so long dear! These are somewhere between headcannons and my usual imagines, so I hope they're alright enough to make up for the wait! And remember, you're amazing and wonderful, just the way you are ❤️❤️❤️

George

Personally, I feel like George is sort of ?? forgotten ??? Of all the boys

By that I mean, like even non Beatle fans know Paul and John, and they might know Ringo just bc that name stands out, but George???

I mean, ik back before I was a fan I could never remember who "the fourth one" was

So anyway, even tho he's kind of in the background compared to the other three, that doesn't mean he's not sensitive to how the others are treated/feeling

At the end of the day I think he'd be his usual self and a good, sympathetic ear to insecurity issues

When he finds out, it's kind of an overtime process

He's use to bringing you snacks and take a little break like that with you, especially after a long day of recording or practice

But lately, you've been... Strange about it

Either straight up turning him down, or picking at the food and not really touching anything

He asks what's wrong, as gently as he can, seeing as he honestly already suspects the answer

You and George have been together for a while now, and he's always been easy to talk to, and understanding if you don't feel like sharing, so you feel that you can be honest

"I'm just... Trying to watch my figure, you know?"

He just kind of looks at you, confused at first

"Why?"

His face is hard to read, and yet still manages to turn to a completely different, very serious, emotion

"Has someone said something to you?"

You now have his full attention as he puts aside his guitar

You assure him that no, it's just a personal thing

"Oh", he nods

"Yeah", you nod

You're not sure how this makes you feel. Perhaps you're glad it's over, but you can't help but feel... Shunned?

But before you can ruminate too much, George brushes off his lap as though he's about to stand

Instead he sits back and looks at you

"Come here"

His voice is serious, but not quite stern

Invitingly, he becons you over and nods towards his lap

You look from his face to his long, thin legs

At first you decline, brushing it off almost as a joke

You look to your own legs

He can't be serious?

He asks you again, "Come on, I want to show you something"

At this point your curiosity is peaked

You get up and approach cautiously, as though he might run away

When the moment of truth arrives, you slowly, s l o w l y, begin to sit

Tired of waiting, George hooks his hands under your knees and pulls you forward

You fall onto his lap with a little thud and you figure this is it, expecting him to shove you off

Instead, when nothing happens, you dare to peak your scrunched up eyes open and see his smile waiting for you

He leans in for a gentle kiss, all the while his hands are resting on your thighs

His legs are like iron, not uncomfortable to sit on, quite the opposite actually, but strong in a way you hadn't expected

When the kiss is broken, he slides his palms up and out until they're resting on your hips

His callused fingers tickle a little, even through the fabric of your clothes

"So um, what were you going t-?"

He shushes and you, and picks up your hand in his

George brings the heel of your palm a mere inch away from his lips

He pauses just for a moment, making direct eye contact with you, before turning back to his work

He presses a trail of kisses along the inside of your arm, to the crook of your elbow, and up your bicep

You shiver, tensing as he goes up

But he doesn't recoil, or hesitate, or do anything of the sort

He gives equal love and attention to every inch of your flesh as he goes, only stopping at your shoulder to make sure you're still alright

As though giving permission, you bite your lip and give a subtle nod, curious to see what happens next

George releases your arm, now dedicating both hands to massaging your hips with all the thumb dexterity of a skilled guitarist

Next he moves along your shoulders, dropping down just a moment to give some attention to the bump of your collar bone

When he's done there, he lingers on your neck, gently kissing and sucking up and down before settling in one spot

After a moment, he starts humming a familiar tune against your skin

"Do you this song?", His voice is just a whisper

"Hm?"

"It's one of the first songs we wrote together"

George pulls back again to look at your face...

"As much as I love you for what's out here"

...Then presses one more kiss to your lips

"I love you even more for what's in here"

He kisses your forehead

Finally he pulls back one more time, and the way he looks at you is as though all the love in the world is inside those eyes

"Never forget that. Promise me"

You seal your promise with a kiss

John

Ok so I think we all know John struggled with an eating disorder(s)

So he knows the whole nine yards of what it's like being "overweight", "underweight", somewhere in between, and still never being good enough for everyone else

I mean John is basically infamous for having been body shamed and criticized out of all the boys, particularly in the early years

So all this to say, he knows how awful it feels

To wake up in the morning, try to get dressed, and take forever to choose an outfit because you hate how everything looks on you

To look in the mirror and be unable to stand your own reflection

To think once, twice, and yes, even thrice before enjoying your favorite little snack, or even just a regular meal

He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy

And when he finds out that you, the most lovely person in the world, feel that way...

Oh, his heart breaks

All the boys would take this quite seriously of course, but John simply has a certain... understanding that the others don't

He finds out one night on a dinner date with you

You've picked at everything all night, hardly a bite

This is starting to form a pattern, and rest assured, he has been noticing

At the end of the meal, he asks if everything was alright in a way that references much more then the food

"Oh yes, fine", you force that same smile you always give when he asks that question

He waits until you're both in the comfort of your flat to breach the topic

You see, John is a man of many faces

The first layer is prickly and aggressive, the second is a mischievous joker, the third a sweet, but anxious individual

And under all those masks, the real John, is the most compassionate and loving man you've ever met

So when he does ask you what's really going on, he's very serious and very gentle

He wants you to know that you're safe to tell him anything and that he wants to help with whatever is so very clearly bothering you

It's tough to get it out, but John is patient and encouraging all the while and you manage it

You're surprised to hear that he suspected as much

John tries to go a little deeper, asking of there's anything particular that makes you feel this way or if it's just a constant thing

Regardless of your answer, he offers you what advice he can, from both personal experience and what he learned from his therapy sessions

John's not too great at comforting speeches, but he'll be damned if he doesn't do everything he can to make sure you know just how much he loves you

He loves you for your heart, and how patient and kind you are with not just him, but everyone

He loves you for your mind, and how you too can have deep conversations about topics that are important to you both

And perhaps most of all, he loves you for your personality and how you can poke a bit of fun, just like he does, and you aren't afraid to put him in his place when he's being an arse

"Is there anything I can do for you love?"

You smile, feeling just a bit better after his speech

"How's about a cuddle?"

John grins cheekily, "Now you're talking!"

He half tackles you from his seat beside you, turning your seated position into a reclining one

You can't help but laugh playfully as he easily picks you up in a bear hug and slips under you so you can rest on top of him

He presses a kiss to your cheek

"How's that?"

You smirk back

"It's a start"

John gasps in mock disbelief at your remark

You just wrap your arms around his shoulders, snuggling against him

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to keep it up"

At that, he nuzzles the side of your face, glad to see you finally feeling relaxed

John give you one more squeeze in his strong arms, holding you close

You two spend the rest of the evening cuddled up and cozy until you fall asleep in each other's arms

Paul

Now it's no secret Paul has always been the "pretty one" of the Beatles

I mean heck, even in the freaking cartoon he has the least goofy and caricature esque face of all the boys

But personally I would imagine that he's felt a certain pressure from time to time to keep up his looks!

It would be quite draining for everyone to have this flawless image of you and then expect you to live up to it 24/7, so in that regard he understands struggling with feeling less then perfect

And certainly with feeling subpar when others just expect far too much!

The night it comes out, the two of you have plans to attend a soiree of sorts

Music, lights, dancing, champaign, the hosts are pulling all the stops and it'll be absolutely a black tie affair

You've got a very fancy dress for the occasion that you got as a gift from Paul some time ago, it's all sparkly, exquisite, and your favorite color to boot

And it... "fits"

As in, you can zip it up and move and breathe comfortably in it, but it just....

Paul finds you standing in front of the full length mirror, mascara beginning to run quietly down your face as you tug and smooth and pull the dress in varying places

He's honestly a bit panicked and confused at first. After all, he does hate to see you upset, let alone cry

"is something wrong love? Do you not like that one? There's plenty of time to change!"

"it's nothing! Just an eyelash"

You try to laugh it off and hope that he'll just leave you alone

You see, Paul has been talking about this shindig for weeks in advance

It's hosted by a good friend, many more of which will be in attendance tonight

Not to mention he hardly ever gets to do something nice away from the press, so you're trying very hard not to ruin things for him

Paul walks over to you, concern written all over his face

"No really, what's wrong?"

You try to wave him off, but he takes you gently by the shoulders and looks you square in the eye

He looks around your beautiful eyes, searching, and it almost feels as though he can read your mind

At last he says "You don't want to go?"

With that, you just can't manage to hold a brave face any longer and the tears come rolling down

Without another word, Paul guides you to a seat on the bed and returns swiftly with some tissues

He dries your eyes as best he can and thumbs a soothing circle on your hand, giving you space to tell him what's on your mind

When you've had the chance to situate yourself, you tell him that you don't mind the party it's just that the way you feel in that dress, in fact, in all your dresses is just...

Paul nods understandingly as you trail off, and the two of you sit in silence for a moment

You're concerned you've upset him and ask as much

"What? No, of course not love!"

"But I know how much you want to g-"

Paul shushes you and brings a hand up to stroke your cheek

"I don't care about some stupid party, nothing matters more to me then you. I mean that"

He tilts his head and smiles at you

"Tell you what? We'll just skip it and have some fun right here!"

For a moment you're afraid he's doesn't mean it, but there's a childlike gleam in his eyes and grin on his face that tells you he not only means it, but is excited at the prospect

You're still a little doubtful that you haven't made him upset, but Paul reassures you until you're able to take him at his word

Absolutely relieved, you agree and wipe away your last few tears

"Good. Now let's get this off you, eh?"

Paul helps you take out your jewelry as well as undoing the far too complicated latches, ribbon, and zipper on the back of the dress

His delicate fingers slide up and down the length of your neck and back reverently as he works, planting gentle kisses to the nape of your neck every so often

With the hardest part over, and ever the gentleman, he gives you space to slip it off and put on something more comfortable

When next you see him, he's putting on a sweet and slow record, something like what you would've probably heard tonight

He's removed his suit jacket, tie, and shoes and when he turns to see you in your adorable PJs he smiles at you like you're the belle of the ball

"Ahem, may I have this dance?"

He bows low and offers you his hand, peaking up at you for just a moment to shoot you a playful grin

You laugh at his silly antics and give in happily to the charade

Paul leads you in a steady waltz around and around the room, the two of you stealing kisses and suppressing laughter all the while

When the record comes to an end, you both collapse on the couch and catch your breath

By now, you're fully confident you've had more fun just now then you would've all night had you gone

After a minutes rest, Paul hops up from his seat

"Just a minute, I forgot something... Wait right here!"

He darts off around the bend and when next you see him, he's carrying two flutes of champagne

Paul takes a seat beside you again and hands you yours

"I was saving this for when we got back, thought we could leave early and enjoy the rest of the evening alone"

You smile, touched by the thoughtfulness and still riding the high of the previous activities

Finally, you propose a toast

"To my amazing, lovely boyfriend"

Paul smiles at you with adoration. You mean so much more to him then a mere toast could describe

"To my love, the most gorgeous dance partner in the world"

Ringo

Idk if this is/was a thing, or if it's just something I've noticed, but Ringo seems to be the butt of the joke, particularly in regards to his appearance, a lot

Like he's the "short" one and he's got that nose

I only ever see him take it like a champ and all in good fun, and laid back as he is, it doesn't seem to hold him back but I'm sure he'd understand feeling insecure about ones body/looks

But for you to be insecure???

He just??????

When Ringo finds out, he's honestly the most bewildered of all

He finds you sat against the wall, hunched up and crying, half clothed, and a mess of clothing strewn around you

Usually whenever something's bothering you, you know you can bring it to him.

He's always there for you, after all

So to see you like this, he's absolutely terrified that something truly awful has happened

In that moment, thanks to his roaring adrenaline, he goes from rock star to olympic sprinter and dashes to your side so quickly it's as though he teleported

"What's wrong love, what's wrong?"

He holds your face up to look at him and quickly checks over you to make sure you're not injured or sick in some way

When he sees the pain in your eyes, he's nearly crying too

He wants so desperately to help you, and take all your troubles and worries away this very moment.

Even if it meant he had to shoulder the suffering for you, he'd do it in a heartbeat, no doubt

You feel rather embarrassed to be caught like this, and even worse still to see your boyfriend so upset on your behalf

This takes you back to square one, crying and nonverbal for a bit longer

Luckily, Ringo catches on that him getting upset is only going to make you more upset, so he settles himself and holds you until you're ready

When you are ready, you manage to choke out your insecurity, trusting him as you always do

And when he hears you're insecure about your body, or even your looks in general, he is just....

Ringo.exe has stopped working

Mind, it not that he doesn't understand your feelings!!

It's just that you are so completely and absolutely beautiful and kind and so much more to him, that he simply cannot fathom the idea of holding the opinion of you as any less

"is it the clothes? Because forget the damn clothes" He takes a handful and throws them up and away, like confetti

"I'll buy you a whole new closet if you like! W-would you like that?"

He smiles hopefully at you, as though you truly would like that, and it'll solve all your problems

You simply shake your head

And, after moment, Ringo starts to understand

He sits with you silently for a moment, the gravity of your feelings is so important to him that he's not sure plain old him has something good enough to say

But he knows he wants to say something

So, he meditates on it for a moment, and decides he can only tell you the truth

"Well... you know that I love you, yeah? Sometimes I wonder how a guy like me got so lucky to be with a right angel like you.... And so do the lads"

He laughs that deep, silly laugh you love so much

"Why, I think you're the loveliest girl in all of England er uh, no, all the world!"

That earns a little smile from you

You're about to respond when you catch a shiver

You're only down to your undergarments after all, and it's a bit drafty

Ringo notices and before any mention can be made, he sets to work at removing his sweater, eager to make sure you're cared for

It seems to be putting up a bit of a fight, but he manages to come out on top

"Er uh, will this be ok? I know you're fed up with clothes right now, but I don't want you to freeze neither"

He's genuinely concerned about your feelings in the subject, even as he holds the garment out to you

Buuuut... It's cozy and oversized on you, plus it smells comfortingly of him, so you take it

"Hey, that looks better on you then it does me!"

He laughs again, the state of him made a bit more comical by his now frizzed up mop top

You point the issue out to him, grinning yourself, and he shakes it out like a dog

Which, of course, only makes it ten times worse

For the first time that day, you laugh, and it's the most beautiful sound Ringo's ever heard

Feeling a bit better now, Ringo helps you stand and offers you some tea downstairs

You take a few steps, and then stop feeling the draft give rise to some goose bumps all up your legs

"Maybe I should get some pants..."

At the mere suggestion, Ringo looks at you like he has a bright idea and immediately goes to undo his belt

You burst out laughing, and stop him

He's confused at first, but when he realizes his own absurdity in his effort to be helpful, he can't help but laugh a little too

In the end, you come to the conclusion that a blanket and a cuddle on the couch will do nicely instead... Which is exactly what you do

Ringo spends the rest of the day keeping you entertained, warm, and covered in kisses

[gerrydelano]

it's not that I disagree with the fact that Jon's bi-ness is often overlooked, but I feel like it's just as much a problem with Georgie? like, I see her referred to as a lesbian a lot, and even worse I've seen that used as a reason that she and Jon broke up (like, more than once implied/stated they broke up bc Jon is trans and started transitioning and she isn't attracted to men). so I think it's less that Jon being ace means him being bi is ignored and more just general ignorance re: being bi.

oh no you’re absolutely right about it being broad spectrum ignorance on a whole! but i don’t think anyone was saying that him being ace is WHY him being bi is ignored? 

the post that spurned this message didn’t at all indicate that as being a reason why, max was just listing a bunch of canon traits that are important to both jon and tim, and tend to get very mischaracterized. if anything it was pointing out that he often gets infantalized and/or written as really Vocally Petulant about other people’s sex lives, which is. a really absurd way to portray an ace person to begin with? it’s aphobic as hell and does a great disservice to a lot of people. so pair that with the biphobia and bam, you’ve got a HOT mess.

but Yep, you’re totally right. overall this fandom handles jon, tim and georgie in equally biphobic ways across the board and i find it really. confusing more than anything. and sad. gonna ramble about a fandom phenomenon here for a second!

with him, what i personally think happened here is that ace folks got real excited about an ace protag and started (justifiably so!) projecting a lot and focusing pretty heavy on that aspect of things, which makes all the sense in the world and is not actually a Problem, i’m not saying it is & i hope no one twists this to make it sound like i am. no accusations here whatsoever, seriously.

but one unfortunate result of that heavy focus in conjunction* with the generalized unconscious biphobia that effects Everyone, is just. ignoring other things or honestly in some cases i’ve seen, purposefully shunting it to the side because they think bisexuality is inherently Overtly Sexual As A Concept and feel that just by calling him that, they’re immediately implying He Has A Ton Of Sex Always!!!! 

which. is literally not the case? like you don’t even have to be ace to be a bi person that doesn’t... have sex. there are so many reasons someone might not. and again that’s not me saying he’s not ace or something, all i’m saying here is that bisexuality is not inherently indicative of behavior, so when people just Assume it is, that creates this kind of rift here.

* - the biphobia IS the underlying Actual cause of this, it just like. tends to go unnoticed when people are super excited about something that is otherwise genuinely harmless. does that make sense? like, what i mean is that this phenomenon makes it so that biphobia flies a bit under the radar and people don’t even know they’re doing it. people don’t notice it as much because the focus IS on uplifting something else that’s underrepresented.

i just think that both of the things need to be acknowledged without erasing the other! and that it is very possible to do that if we all take two seconds to, like. think about the way we’re presenting things. 

i’m very adamant about jon’s asexuality as a whole and get pretty fucking uncomfortable when people disregard it to write horrible p0rn of him, and i wish that, like. people took his bisexuality just as seriously? and got just as defensive over its erasure as they do when people erase his asexuality? they co-exist and go hand in hand, and they both get erased in different ways and Both concepts can/should be talked about so we can all start doing better.

overall though it really does just come down to different forms of biphobia, which absolutely everyone is capable of. even bi folks are just as conditioned with internalized biphobia and are culpable for whatever stuff they produce that might reflect that, the same as every other identity out there in the world. we’re all exposed to it and all capable of regurgitating it, even in instances of seemingly harmless fanart where they add a nonbinary pin next to the ace one but conveniently forget a bi pin. it’s not about the pins, it’s about the microaggression behind it that piles up when so many people are doing it.

this is why seraf and i and a few others organized the bi jon event for january! it’s said in the rules flat out that erasing his asexuality is NOT the intention nor was it allowed. it’s just that there’s 27 tma fics tagged with “canon bi character,” 21 of them are focused on tim and most of them are p0rn. that’s. evil jhbkn lol.

[common-blackbird]

Started!

This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u

I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.

Highlights from today:

Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)

Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man

On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT

As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T

And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;

played some more...

Let  me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)

What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith. 

Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )

As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.

This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.

I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well. 

Ok, now shorter updates:

Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.

Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...

Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.

and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;

Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?

That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.

We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!

lets start with this cool shot

so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...

Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.

And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;

the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for

As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.

and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away

If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.

A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?

And with that we reach the skyhold.

in skyhold

I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<

Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(

(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)

then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D

It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT

Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?

another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(

and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)

anyways that’s all for now, laters

some random updates:

so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow

i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?”  but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.

Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...

when cassandra said:

“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”

great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).

I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.

And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;

What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?

And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.

update

After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...

but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;

Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D

 know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....

... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;

Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony

The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke.  bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;

oh i also slayed a dragon.  I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times). ��

And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like

it was awful and you weren’t even there.

i forgot to update

but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!

and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)

new update

BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T

Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.

Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.

another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...

and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello, maybe you coukd give me some tips. I send you that ask already but it means ght be deleted by tumblr and it was all messy and ugly.

So I have one childhood friend, we used to do everything together till highschool. Often she was my only friend, like now. We slowly started to distance from each other sonce she has a boyfriend. For all those years I did my best to accept him and all, told myself that duh she is not obliged to spent time only with me even in situation when she spent less and less time with me. Sometime I had a bit trouble to fully accept bf because sometime when they argued she was venting to me and I felt like his is hurting her but she refused to break up with him. Boy eas very insecure, no friends and so on and one day around graduating junior hight school she wanted to break up with him but he said something like he is gonna hurt himself if she will, or just drop out the school. So she wanted to wait at least until he graduate, but she waited longer. Then just after we graduated hightschool she broke up with him like she had enought. It was prolly a mistake but after she vent I said one or two things about him concerning past events and I said 'wow finally'. After a while they made up and she said she just missend him. I promissed mtself I will never comment whatever she tell me about them, unless in a good way.

Well... the point is that I am probably jellous, that she doesnt want to spent time with me anymore. Alway if I ask her out I give her to eventually pick the date, if nit today then maybe tomorrow etc y know introvert way :D And im trying to save this friendship? She is not the person busy 24/7, unless maybe when she is in uni or we count playing games as being busy. I play games too sometime.

Sometime it seems like she tries to avoid me and dont want to tell me anything. One day I was talking to her in cafee and she was just fidgeting with her phone. She didnt even like heck the socialmedia, just switching between random (system?) folders on the phone. When I asked abt it why she doesnt listen, she said she wanted to do sth but forgot what. Another time I havent seen her for months and she alway soent holidays 1 month her bf comes to her (he lives abroad already I guess) and I dont want to disturb them of feel like third wheel and the other month she come to him. So like week before she pnanned to go I asked her to go out next day. She said she cant. So asked another day, she answered : but I go to my bf. So I surprised that its that soon and sad I missed the oportunity: oh really? When? She: on Friday me: but its Monday(?)(no answer) so...? She: ught I know ;;; but lately I dont really feel like going anywhere :(

Well... maybe I'm childish but I felt sad.

I'm also jellous that they even celebrate each others bdays altought she never do that bc of religious reasons and I've always respected that.

Once I asked her what is with us, we barely talk for last few years and I feel like she is avoiding me. She had no Idea what I was talking about, she felt like everything was the same.

I was told to not have much hope or expectations toward her bu maybe try to text her or maybe arrange a meeting once in a while and try not to become bitter.

The other one sait that that how adulthood looks like, we become busier with private issues and so on and I may act childish and selfish, but as far as I know except for time she go to uni or to her bf she is not that busy, definitely not that busy not to have time to meet with me more than once in a whole year (or none) when we live ~20min apart by foot. I dont want to be burden to anyone or feel like third wheel so I dunno what to do. I have problem with finding friends, she was my only one friend (?) for years. I dont trust ppl easly

I wanted to do more things together outside since we both used to or still do soent too much time on the computer but well... you know, together is easier.

Since I have to do it on my own maybe you have some ideas? Thats stupid wuestion I guess since you dont know my environment. Jogging and biking wont work I guess since I dont have proper bike. I wanted to plant some flowers but I was afraid I screw everything up since im kida kid who grow up in the bubble and Im not sure how to do basics and nobody wanted to help me and its too late already... Walk is fine but I prefer places far from road and since I'm not supposed to go to the forest that I love I dont have many spots to go.

I am sorry for long post. Any even tiny help would be appreaciated. I hope thats not much of the problem, have a nice day or night :)

-PineconeAnon

I do think that it's time for you to let go of the friendship. I know that's hard to do but people grow apart and that's okay. It's okay. You'll be able to make better relationships and move forward but you have to learn to let go and keep walking forward. It sounds like you're holding onto this friendship because you want to keep going on like it's the past but...

It doesn't work like that. Change happens. It hurts sometimes but it's not a bad thing. You can reflect on this with time and learn how to be able to accept it. You need someone that wants to hang out with you and relax with you. It's not childish to be upset but it's important to see when people just... don't have time for you anymore and feelings change.

It just seems like you both have a fundamental misunderstanding and if you can't talk that through, then it's not working. You can try to talk about it but it seems like it'd be better to just let go. She doesn't think there's something wrong but you do. If you feel stress around her instead of friendship, it's not great.

But, that's up to you, you know? You decide your relationships what you want them to be.

I don't really have great advice for making friends as an adult. I'm not exactly going out and interacting with people. I can suggest finding a new set of friends online by joining Discords and interacting with the fandoms you're in because that's how I've made friends. It's easier to do that if you're anxious about making friends outside.

Try new hobbies. Take a deep breath. If you want to garden, try it out. You're not going to be perfect the first time. It's a learning process at anything and you have to just try. You don't get to live it if you don't try. You have to consider your limits and reflect on what is going to be the easiest thing to try.

It's never too late.

Try to start small and work your way up.

[lipshinee]

Any soft scenatios or headcanons with Lucifer or Mammon would be precious ^^ welcome to the obey fandom!!!

.Fluff scenario🥺🥺 Okay I chose Mammon bc I’m a simp for this man. It’s like the most cliché thing ever but I still loved writing it bc I’m a sucker for clichés. Ur first kiss w/ Mammon ♡

Warning: a lot of fluff and cheesy stuff

Mammon X reader

Adjusting your skirt, you stared at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds. Your outfits consisted of a light and tight crop-top, a black skater skirt accompanied by your black shoes. You didn’t really feel like wearing something fancy, today you were simply having a fun time with Asmo.

The vibration coming from your phone suddenly caught your attention. As Mammon’s name appeared on screen, your face quickly turned red. « Oi! What’s all that about you going out with Asmo?? » Startled, you didn’t have any time to respond before he sends you another message.

« Ya ain’t going anywhere without me around!! Like I would leave you alone with that pervert <(｀^´)> » You couldn’t help yourself but smile and giggle at his message.

You really can’t tell when you first started liking him. Maybe it was recent, maybe it was when he started getting all possessive with you, or maybe it was just the first time you saw him. However when you realized your little crush it was already too late, he was already firmly ingrained in your heart and there was no way getting him out of there. His smile, his loud laugh, his blue eyes, every single detail about him was intoxicating. It drove you crazy how much power he held over you, a single look from him and you would melt right then and there.

‘Pull yourself together!’ You reminded yourself and responded to him with a simple sticker. After learning that information, it was unavoidable for you to take a few more glances at the mirror before finally getting out of your room. Going down the stairs, you could already hear Mammon and Asmo bickering. « You can’t just invite yourself whenever you feel like it! »

Your laugh caught the attention of the two demons in front of you and they were both silents for a few seconds. Those seconds were all it took you to realize how breathtaking the avatar of Greed was. He was wearing his usual signature yellow jacket that fit him perfectly, his glasses were resting on his head and his white snowy hair was a bit messier than usual, which only made him more mesmerizing.

You must’ve stared for longer than usual because you noticed that Mammon started to get a bit flustered. « W-what are ya lookin’ at?! » You shook your head and responded that you were just spacing out. You could feel your heart pounding so loudly in your chest you were almost surprised no one was able to hear it.

« Darling you look so beautiful! » Asmo said while hugging you tightly. A huge smile appeared on your face, and just when you were about to wrap your arms around him, he was pulled out of your grasp. Mammon was behind the younger demon and was glaring at him. Within seconds, they were arguing once again. You rolled your eyes and stopped them by announcing :

« Can we please go? Otherwise, you’ll be done fighting by the time the mall closes. » You didn’t wait for them to respond and turned around walking towards the front door, they quickly joined you. You decided for a walk since the mall was a bit close and hoped for a peaceful stroll but your wish was quickly stopped by the usual screams of Mammon.

On your way there, you noticed a garden that was full of flowers that looked similar to the ones you had in the human realm. You began to daydream about your life before the Devildom and how it completely changed you as a person. They brought you happiness when you thought you were a hopeless cause, and you were endlessly thankful for that.

You stopped listening to the demons’ conversation a long time ago until Asmo’s sentence got you back to reality. « I don’t understand! If you like MC so much why don’t you ask them out yourself instead of barging into MY alone time with them?! » While Asmo first had an annoyed look on his face, his expression changed into amusement when he saw you and Mammon turning red from his comment.

« H-huh? W-what are ya talkin’ about?! Why would I like a mere human anyway? » He desperately tried to argue, but Asmo wasn’t born yesterday, he could obviously through crushes with ease. Needless to say, he also knew about your crush as well. Actually, it was obvious for about anyone but you two.

You were pretty silent about the whole thing. Looking down at the ground and playing with your fingers, you tried your best to ignore the situation that you couldn’t possibly handle. Staring at you, Asmo’s face lit up, and had you met his eyes, you would have known he was preparing a mischievous plan. Finally, the avatar of Lust sighs and replies with a sad tone :

« If you say so. » Mammon was a bit taken aback. No teasing? He would give up just like that? No way. The demon was suspicious of his brother but preferred to stay quiet. The rest of the walk was really quiet compared to the beginning which only confirmed Mammon’s suspicions.

The three of you were walking around the mall. It’s only been a few minutes since you got here but Asmo has already started to whine about going to Majolish. Not really surprising, it was the avatar of Lust we were talking about after all. Heading to the shop, you couldn’t help but notice the malicious smile Asmodeus kept wearing, and only grew wider once you got in front of the store. Entering Majolish, the demon started to pick random clothes and threw them in Mammon’s arms.

« What the actual hell are ya doin’?! » He was even more confused once Asmodeus pushed him towards the changing room.

« Shh, just try these out, I wanna see those on you! » Witnessing the scene in front of you was quite amusing, even though you were just as puzzled as Mammon. Once he was in the fitting room, Asmo turned around and winked at you. « Well, I guess I have to go now. » What? What was he talking about? You must’ve seemed baffled because he sighed and continued :

« I pushed Mammon over there because otherwise, he wouldn’t have let me go, he doesn’t have the guts to stay alone with you. This way you can finally get the little date you always wanted to have! If he asks anything, just say something came up. »

Bewildered, you weren’t able to place a single word as he mumbled: « I’m way too nice. » and waved at you before leaving you alone. Shit. Your thoughts were racing as the anxiety kept rising. What were you supposed to do now? You weren’t ready for this! You weren’t even sure if Mammon really did like you! ‘Maybe I should just leave as well? Maybe we can just leave the mall right now?’ But the familiar voice behind you stopped all of your reflections.

« There ya go! Obviously, the great Mammon looks amazin’ in any-...Oi, where did he go?? » You turned around and looked at him only to be left breathless. Fuck. To make matters worse, the clothes he was trying on fit him like a charm. His button-down shirt had a few buttons undone which revealed the top of his chest, his skin-tight black jean which showed you perfectly the shape of his ass left you drooling all over him for a while. Mammon practically had to clear his throat for you to raise your head and look into his eyes.

« U-uh, he left. He...he had to go, something came up. » Mammon didn’t seem too phased at first and just replied: « Oh. » Then it hit him and his calm face rapidly turned to a worried look. Oh. He was going to be alone with you.

You both didn’t say anything for what felt like hours. It’s not that you didn’t have anything else to say, you had so many things you wanted to say but nothing was able to come out of your mouths. Finally, the demon ended up saying :

« O-oh, well I guess it’s yer lucky fay! Some people would kill to have me all for themselves for a day, ya know! » He claimed with a confident smile even though you could clearly see the nervousness in his eyes. You were a bit relaxed by the fact that both of you were apprehensive about spending some time alone. Mammon ended up going back to the fitting room in order to change into his own clothes. When you finally got out of the store, the atmosphere felt tense. What are you supposed to say right now? Your mind was clouded with endless speculations and doubts, you couldn't think of a single topic to chat about. Peering at the demon, it was clear he was in the same situation.

Bur for once in your life, you wanted to be bold. What did tou have to lose anyway? You knew you would regret it for to rest of your life if you didn’t take this chance Asmo gave you. Biting the inside of your cheeks, you went ahead and held his hand. His hand felt so warm and so big compared to yours, god it took all of your willpower to not melt instantly. He was the only one able to make you feel like this, he was the only one able to cause this warm feeling in your chest that was always so overwhelming. A single touch from him was enough to make your day, and it drove you crazy. 

« W-what are ya doin' right now?! » It was the only thing he could add. As if speaking without stuttering wasn't already hard enough for him, the poor demon was now a blushing mess. You found him so adorable, his eyes were fixated on your hands and the silence didn't feel so awkward this time. Walking around the mall like this made you realize just how much you liked him, you wanted to hold his hand like this every day, you wanted to be in his arms cuddling every night, you simply wanted to be his. After all, he's the reason for your smile. He's the one for you. He's your first man. With him, you felt like you belonged somewhere as long as he was next to you.

Your eyes widened when you sensed him intertwining your fingers together. This time, you were the one freaking out. Especially when he turned you so you could face him. With his other hand, he held your chin with his fingers and approached his face towards yours. He was so close to you, you were certain he was able to hear your loud heartbeat.

« I...I want to kiss you. » His electric blue eyes were piercing through yours, like he was waiting for an answer from you. ‘Can he get any more adorable than this?’ Smiling at him, you nodded your head. And without another word, he kissed you. At first, your mind blanked out from the surprise. His soft lips were the only thing you could focus on. The world around you stopped for a moment, and, just for the time of this kiss, you both were in your little bubble. As if life in itself paused just for the two of you to enjoy every single bit of that kiss.

For so long, you had sleepless nights dreaming of this day, and now that it was finally happening, you had a hard time believing it. It was so gentle yet enough to make your heart explode from his touch. You loved this feeling so much, you were drunk from this warm feeling only he could give you. And when he kissed you, you could feel the reciprocity of his feelings. He liked you as well, the avatar of Greed himself liked you and absolutely nothing could make you happier.

Finally, he pulled away from you, and though you didn’t say it out loud, you were very clearly saddened by it. Noticing it, Mammon laughed and gave you a quick peck on the lips.

« C’mon! Let’s buy some matching stuff. » He said with a huge smile on his face.

And you couldn’t help but notice that during the whole afternoon at the mall, he didn’t let go of your hand a single time. He was hanging to it like his life was on the line if he let go of it, you kept biting your lower lips to stop yourself from giggling like a middle schooler.

You spent hours in the mall, checking every single store available and laughing so hard your stomach started to hurt. You were happy. And he was the reason for it.

[magireco]

ive never played/watched magireco but do you think the large cast is a part of iroha just being seen as “madoka 2” ?? ive never touched the thing because from what i know its much darker than the original anime, but i do know there’s like 20 thousand megucas in the game and each of them has their own story, so there’s plenty of characters that could be seen as more interesting. theres also the fact that a lot of people dont like gacha games (and magireco, other than being one, is sexualized quite a bit so that probably makes people steer away from it as well, but that’s another topic) and magireco NA no longer exists anyways so it’s harder to actually understand the new content, plus as far as i’m aware season 2 of the magireco anime has not been confirmed to be planned? correct me if i’m wrong on that though

hi!! i have a lot to cover with this ask, so i’m going to answer your questions as neatly as i can in a fun little numbered list. read under the cut!

1. what do you mean by large cast? if you’re talking about how there’s more characters in the game/anime than in the original series, then i don’t think that really has anything to do with iroha. it might just be to garner fans’ collective interest since the original anime hit it off so hard. also, it’s just really hard to please huge collectives of people, especially really critical anime fans... *shiver.*

2. i think iroha bearing a similar resemblance to madoka was used to draw old fans back in, as well as living up to the tradition of all “main character” magical girls having pink hair. iroha and yachiyo were probably meant to resemble madoka and homura at least design-wise, and also seeing iroha, madoka, and homura together in one image is visually appealing; the colors and the familiar faces next to a new face are nice to look at.

3. magia record is not nearly as dark as the original series! in the anime, there are no main-cast deaths. this does not inherently prove that a show isn’t dark, but literally, the only onscreen death is of yachiyo’s friend from her original team, and that was in a flashback... rather than slowly losing characters as the story goes on, it starts off with iroha alone, then she meets other magical girls and they form a team, etc. i go on about this on my blog bc, once again, in my opinion, magia record has much more hopeful undertones and actually gives the girls a chance to, well... live. it’s an alternate timeline(that madokami can’t interfere with, there’s lore to that) wherein glasses homura is the homura featured(she actually gets a lot of character growth in the game), the main quintet is all together, the mikazuki villa crew really are just the found family trope combined in a little package. 

4. there are a few reasons for there being a lot of characters in the game, one of them being that they literally adapted every spinoff into the game. oriko magica, tart magica, suzune magica, kazumi magica... all those characters are there. then they added a bunch of side characters, which, i dunno? there are some side characters i really like and others i just kind of don’t really care about. but they really grow on you! .... most of them. 

5. yeah, blegh. the game certainly has its flaws(the whole series does, but that’s another ask for another day). the anime is much, much less fanservicey though! i have my gripes about the designs and i certainly have my gripes about the way the characters are drawn sometimes (looking at you, swimsuit mami artist), but with me being an experienced gacha player (unfortunately) that was just something i decided to put up with in exchange for a fun story. i can see why people might get the misconception that the anime is just as sexualized, though. i don’t like the main characters’ designs that much, honestly... they all show too much skin, so i agree. weird.

6. season 2 was confirmed! 

7. NA was discontinued right after the first arc of the series. disappointing (oh, i could go on), but we got to see a lot of iroha’s character development in the story.

8. what i was really trying to get across with that post was really just to gripe about in-fandom stuff. there are plenty of other characters that could be seen as more interesting than iroha, especially considering the mikazuki villa girls are all so varied, but that’s kind of how it is with every series, honestly. there’s always going to be one character that seems less interesting compared to other ones. i just kind of realized that iroha gets the short end of the stick compared to the other girls. not only because of her resemblance to madoka, but because of her perceived blandness and the lack of people who care to analyze why she might act that way. her pink motif and gentle, kind demeanor translates as “madoka copy” in people’s heads, and, y’know, it translated like that in mine the first time i saw her, too. but, when you actually think about her arc aside from her resemblance to madoka in several different ways, you get a really interesting and special character; just as special as the others! there was a similar issue with madoka, honestly, with people brushing her off because she wasn’t as “emotionally deep” as the rest of the quintet, even though that’s not true at all. i think it’s unfair that people will brush off a character just because they’re nice; that they’ll reduce characters like iroha and madoka to their cuteness and kindness only and not analyze the rest of the details that they have intentionally(or sometimes unintentionally, y’know how anime writing can be) been written with! 

...but then again, i’m biased in my own way, admittedly. i relate to iroha (i really just made that post because i was thinking about how i’ve never seen someone touch on how her memory gaps affect her), and i just wasn’t seeing any coverage on it, so i thought, someone has to do this! i also just... don’t see people who coin themselves as “iroha fans” very often? she’s one of the characters who is there, but usually not deemed interesting enough for someone to be a superfan of. i’m probably hypocritical, considering homura akemi is my favorite character and she’s pretty popular in the fandom, but what i said is more of an observation than an accusation anyway. i had similar feelings with madoka, but i haven’t gone on a proper ramble about that yet. 

...these characters also aren’t real people, so i’d say i probably shouldn’t go on such long rambles about them, but i really do feel like they reflect a lot of real life experiences sometimes. like, me connecting to iroha’s struggles is something that connects her character to an actual experience. however, like i said in my original post, i am very much an overanalyzer, and i tend to take concepts and just run with them, especially when something stands out to me. this is also just a magical girl show, so i’m really not taking anything that personally. 

also, to clear anything up, the original post wasn’t meant to come across as me being angry, per se, at people who think iroha is boring, it just kind of ticks me off that she’s brushed off so quickly in the larger fandom because of her demeanor. this doesn’t really apply to people who aren’t into the series at all yet, because i’d literally also think “okay so we have madoka, and madoka with a hood” if i were in your shoes! also, people are allowed to dislike characters for no reason. i’m just silly and go on long defensive rants over the sad magical girls, and would probably be sad if people didn’t like iroha because of the reasons i mentioned. 

all in all, i do reccomend magia record very much if you can get past the sexualization of the gacha cards and the, um... poorly designed outfits. because the NA server has been shut down, there are channels on youtube that graciously upload videos of the in-game stories as well as side stories! in the game, there are sometimes entire side stories for characters’ outfits. because it’s a gacha game, there are events and such, and the event stories i’ve seen and/or read (most of the ones i’ve read have to do with homura though) are a lot of fun. i reccommend checking out muffinrecord’s channel if you’d like to read any of the stories (hopefully you’re the type of person who can sit and watch live2d models move around with boxes of text on the bottom for 25 minutes like me). they have everything sorted into playlists in that section of their youtube. of course, i also reccomend watching the anime, if you’re interested! the animation is polished and nice, even if the story is a little hard to follow at times. but if not, that’s okay too. 

thank you for the ask, and i hope i could clear some things up for you!

[drownerbrains]

i don't understand fandom's "obviously geralt is near immortal and is gonna live way longer than jaskier will since he's only human, and geralt will live decades longer and be sad about it" thing. like yeah geralt ages slowly bc witcher but literally everything about him screams "i expect to die violently and soon."

like this is the guy who, when asked what he'll do if he can't kill the monster, is just like "then i die, duh." when he gets bitten and passes out, thinking he's about to die, he doesn't try to like, save himself or anything. he makes a joke to his horse about how this is it for him and falls on his face! he goes fishing for a terribly dangerous and powerful magical being bc he can't sleep! "witchers don't die in their beds" and all, too!

like i'm sorry but this dude is not worried about outliving anybody. he's pretty passively suicidal throughout s1 until the very end; he doesn't try to kill himself outright but he takes risks that he knows could be deadly regularly. he's clearly got the whole "won't plan very far into my future bc i plan to be dead before any long-term stuff would be necessary" thing going on.

idk, as someone who has was in that state of mind for most of my life it seemed really obvious to me and makes that specific fandom trope just seem bafflingly out of character to me

like not that i think people who enjoy that trope are bad or anything. it is a great premise for some lovely angst and things don't have to meet my definition of in character to be worthwhile and fun. i just am shocked that it's so prevalent and that my take is so much less so; it's something that would never have occurred to me. and i just thought more people had personal experience like mine and would see it reflected there.

[icharchivist]

though now that i’m done with ff15 this is kinda fun to me to look back to my history with this game

from how i used to watch the first trailers to FF13 Versus on youtube in 2007/2008 when i was 12/13 being obsessed with Noctis, falling out of video games only to be obsessed back with FF right on time in 2015 when i was 20 (when the ff7 remake was first announced) enough to get to the page on every little drama that happened in the production of ff15 as it went from ff13 versus to ff15 

to seeing people talk so much about the game i wanted to find a way to have it when it got released, that i ended up watching Brotherhood and Kingsglaive in preparation for that, and following every press announcement of ff15 so much so that i have so many magazines talking about it (and posters!!), as well as this period i remember we were theorizing (and even correctly predicting) the game together in the ff fandom as we were waiting , but well, never could actually play the game (couldn’t afford it/wasn’t allowed to use the TV anyway lol)  and justified to myself that anyway i would have been too overwhelmed/too bad at games to play it.

to have it spoiled to me in the next few weeks and losing mostly interest because the ff fanbase was salty as hell and every little argument against ff15 got stuck into my brain for years thinking the game must have sucked and then having a “actually why do i care about fandom opinions” awakening a couple years later that brought my interest back but i was far gone by then, so i just had a passive love for the chocobros and knew most of the plot but never would have played it anyway

in the meantime i had started to get more into PC gaming but it was on my old pc that couldn’t stand newer generations of games

and a couple years ago i remember waking up from dreams involving the chocobros and i was vibrating and obsessed with ff15 for days i kept talking about it, i ended up downloading the demo on my old computer and struggling through it but i was having a blast with the bros i didn’t care it was barely playing, and i was rambling about it so much that some of my friends decided to buy the game for me on steam, which i’m still so soft about....

i tried to play it more then, but after Chapter 2, especially with the magitek engine spawning, my PC really couldn’t keep up anymore and i couldn’t keep up with the game. My PC ultimately broke anyway and i didn’t touch the game anymore for a while. 

when i bought a gaming PC what was it, last year? i was too far removed from the game to play it again and i left it aside doing other stuff then.

and it took discussing about FF games with Peten who was mentioning how much bun loved ff15 for me to just. want to start playing it again. 

and i ended up finishing it in what, two weeks? 

idk it’s just. so wild to me because i’ve been thinking about Noctis and this game a lot since i’m 13, i still have this weird, perticular connection to the FF games due to this specific time of my life where i found so much comfort in just knowing about them. And then this call back to it in 2015 which was one of the most... specific years i’ve been through and the ff fandom was a place i felt very good, for a while at least. (ff and dgm have always been fandoms i’ve held very close to my heart if only for the timeperiod those were for me and what they brought me especially in my own understanding of myself - guess bc of the “i fell into it when i was 13, fell out of it, and came back when i was 20 realizing how much it had actually shaped who i am” way) And how i tried to play it when i still couldn’t really do it and was always a bit sad i couldn’t get through with it. And now finishing it in two weeks.

like. it’s a 13 years journey that i had since the first time i thought ‘i want to play this game” and having actually finished it. This is such a weird experience to me to look back on. 

All those moments of genuine interests that just couldn’t align with the state of my life then, and i guess it does reflect too on how my life changed in those 13 years. 

but it’s just, so weird to be able to get through and finish something i’ve wanted to try so many times in 13 years with always the feeling i could never actually do it. 

(it doesn’t help too that because of various reasons i had a bad track record on not managing to finish games that i kinda always had a fatalistic approach over it (between life getting in the way and the fact i struggle to focus very hard when i’m not 100% passionated), but those past few years i’ve been getting through that a lot more too and that too is something that’s wild to reflect on)

and now it’s here, it’s done, it’s over. It’ll keep a place in my heart and i’ll come back to it so i don’t mean it in a way to say it’s over, but it’s weird to finally kinda put a close to this whole thing. This trip that started 13 years ago, only accessible in the last 6 years, and has been finally seen to its end.

It’s another layer of making me emotional over it DLKJFDLK

so yeah. tons of thoughts about it tonight and about my history with ff in general linking to it (this is the third time i write this post bc i ended up going off the rail too in depth too in details the other times DKLFJDf) . It’s so weird. 

but there we are i guess. what a journey.

so yeah shout out to Peten for giving me the last push i needed but also to all the ff friends i had back in the days and that are still sticking around, whom i talked about the game with years ago now to see it all being over with now... I have a lot of thoughts and emotions about all of this all over again and my heart is full tonight. (and ofc shout out to the people who stuck around and indulged in my yelling, it’s just that.. man it’s SO WEIRD to get back to actually finish something that had had my interest for 13 years without being able to get through it and it’s even wilder to know there may be some people on there who knows and have seen this years back about me it’s just. so wild.)

what a trip. what a trip.