#blairon fic

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

blairon recs pls PLEASE

[diamondautavia]

I was told I read too much Drarry fanfics. I wouldn’t if people wrote more Rosekiller or Blairon 😭😭

That’s probably not what they had in mind but I’m still looking for recs 😩💕

[flowgeeksout]

Harry: how did you and Blaise start to date?

Ron who can't tell Harry the real reason: Hot

[klinefelterrible]

Draco: *unties his very high heel boot* I hate it when a guy has a big dick and—

Harry: *over the Daily Prophet* you mean Blaise now, right?

Draco: —and what this guy, this not particular guy does is he just allows it to just hang right there, like an unwanted piece of meat—

Harry: *folds the newspaper* have you been stalking them again?

Draco: discarded salami saus—

Draco: I beg your pardon?!

Harry: *rolls eyes* oh please

Draco: *looks away*

Harry: like I didn’t know you AT ALL

Draco: you don’t

Harry: tell me you were not just hanging on the broom by their window when they were—

Draco: Ron just grabs his hips and rams his ass like he was

Harry: you have a leaf—

Draco: *removes a leafy twig from his hair*

Harry: do you want to admi—

Harry: uhm

Harry: do you want to talk about your pro—

Draco: listen here, sweetie pie

Draco: it is NOT stalking when I am their friend

[ghostemery]

Ahhhh

My recent ship obsession is blairon (blaise x ron)

Anyone have any good fanfic recommendations?

[danpuff-ao3]

Multi-Ship, Multi-Fruit, Multi-Recs

In honor of @hp-fruit-fest: a rec list! Some sweet (and some spicy!) slash and femslash treats! Thanks to @crazybutgood for pointing me to some of these!

The hand that beckons

🩸 by BlueSundayCake (@bluesundaycake.) Lily Luna/Narcissa. Rated M. 1k. Pagan festivals. Pre-slash. Spooky. Sexual tension.

A young woman with hair like burning coals enters into gardens guarded by fire. 

Or, in which Lily Luna Potter is offered a feast and pomegranate seeds from one Narcissa Malfoy.

Zabini's Zucchini

🥒 by doshu (@vdoshu.) Blaise/Ron. Rated E. 7k.

There have been rumours about Zabini's massive zucchini. Ron Weasley needs to investigate.

Concupiscence

🍏 by Femme (@femmequixotic.) Draco/Snape. Rated E. 3k.

Draco asks Severus around to dinner.

Plums

🟣 by Frayach. Draco/Harry. Rated E. 6k. Extreme kink. Consensual kink. BDSM. Vomit play. Anal play.

The Master and his slave have “been together” for 10 years. They need their “relationship” like they need the air they breathe.

Happily Ever After

🍎 by leftsideisdown (@broomsticks.) Narcissa/Andromeda. Narcissa/Bellatrix. Narcissa/Andromeda/Bellatrix. Rated M. 200. Fairytale elements. Biblical references. Mythology references. Sibling incest (if that wasn't obvious haha.)

Of flowers and fruit, and the closing of spaces and unfinished stories.

Pomegranate Seeds

🩸 by Lomonaaeren. Draco/Harry. Rated M. 1k. 8th year. Romance. Fluff.

Harry and Draco are having fun planning their futures together. And making obscure mythological references.

In a Jam

🫙 by peachypety (@peachpety.) Draco/Harry. Rated T. 2k. Fluff & humor. Mutual pining. Getting together.

When the boys go blackberrying at Michaelmas, Draco discovers that magic and berries don’t mix, and all Harry wants is to snog him. If only Ron would let him.

🟣 by Frayach. Draco/Harry. Rated E. 6k. Extreme kink. Consensual kink. BDSM. Vomit play. Anal play.

Still Warm, Still Warm

🍊 by tsauergrass. Draco/Harry. Rated G. 4k. Beekeepers. Roommates. Living together. Getting together. Courtship. Fluff.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Question when are you going to update your omega verse blairon fic it really good and I really enjoy it like your other story’s and I hope you don’t abandon the story

Thank you so much for the support💕it’s actually finished now and here it is: Ron Weasley and the Curse of the broken room

[americasarse]

Chapters: 2/8 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Cho Chang/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley, Charlie Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini Characters: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Charlie Weasley, Percy Weasley, Ron Weasley, Molly Weasley Additional Tags: Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Threesome, Open Relationships, Friends With Benefits, References to Drugs, Slow Burn, right person wrong time, Drug Addiction, Sex Addiction, Dark Ginny Weasley, Bisexual Ginny Weasley, Drug User Ginny Weasley, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Angst, Major Illness Summary:

Ginny Weasley was once a girl on fire.

And now she's burning the candle at both ends, running, and fighting, and yes maybe snorting whatever she can find off Pansy Parkinson's tits, but that doesn't mean anything.

And suddenly her brother has less time than her, and she's introducing him to her life, and suddenly everything is blazing in a fiery bright bonfire and it is tearing apart the very people she once depended on.

or : The Ways PTSD Affects the Golden Trio & Co.

--

Chapter 2 is posted!! Go show it some love :)

[theweirdspacejellyfish]

Blaise x Ron fic recs

Where’s Ron? By Snortinglaughter - 244 words and oneshot

Nothing good comes from being bored… or does it? By sparkysparklighting - 1,081 words and oneshot

Glory hole by melanie_bxx - 3,446 words and oenshot

Ron Weasley and the clothes of doom by Liesha130 - 32,872 words and oenshot

Laser tag by melanie_bxx - 1,047 words and oenshot

Theirs to keep. By Rouzhi_Fans_HP (orphan_account) - 1,922 words and 2 chapters/incomplete

A very daddy Easter - blairon by mothermalfoy (orphan_account) - 1,264 words and oneshot

Protective brothers by sparkysparklighting - 2,554 words and oneshot

After the storm by orphan_account - 1,679 words and oenshot

The last piece of my puzzle by melanie_bxx - 8,720 words and oenshot

Red by Yo_mama - 3,010 words and oenshot

Break up the golden couple! By Witch1511 - 9,108 words and oenshot

My best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend by Yo_mama - 7,977 words and oenshot

Donald Duck ( the third wheel) by orphan_account - 2,152 words and oenshot

I’ve been waiting for answers for way too long by orphan_account - 2,163 words and oenshot

[queenofthegayships]

Harry Potter Fandom

It's really unfortunate. Fandom has taken over fanfiction and not even filters can get rid of everything I don't want. My HP phases never last anymore because I can't find anything. This fandom used to be enjoyable. (Draco, Snape, Tom Riddle redemption/apologists. Drarry, Blairon, and Pansmione, fucking Tomarry??? Snarry??????? I just can't escape it) Seriously, what happened to canon ships in this fandom? Canon TIMELINE???? Same goes for the Marauders Era. That'd be fine but again, it's heavily Slytherin-centric with the ships. That being said I have no read opinions on the Marauders era, as im not in that fandom.

Disclaimer: This post is not an "anti-Slytherin, pro-Gryffindor" rant or a "hate the bad, love the good" argument. I fully acknowledge there are significant problems on the "good side" as well, particularly with characters like Dumbledore and the Weasleys. In fact, I enjoy plenty of Dumbledore-bashing and Weasley-bashing (Ron, Ginny, and Molly especially) fanfics myself. Hell, I've read and liked a few Drarry fics. While I’m guilty of rewriting canon in my own ways, I feel fandom has gone too far with glorifying Draco (and co) and reframing his character beyond recognition. It's not just fanfiction to the people I've run into, its fact. I'm risking my ass, just posting this. There are some violent fans in this fandom. I've been told to kms over my difference of opinion.

Lets start with Fandom and Draco Malfoy. (Also beef with Drarry. And Tom Riddle. And Severus Snape. While my HP phase may not be long enough to get into all of those, beware.)

Fandom’s opinion that Draco was abused

In what world? Where did you see that? Please, I beg you to tell me. Draco isn’t abused, he’s SPOILED. His parents loved him, perhaps too much. Fanfiction has this tendency to paint Lucius as a violently abusive, neglectful father, but where’s the evidence of that? Really, where? Would an abused boy, constantly mistreated, go around saying, “My father will hear about this!” if his father didn’t care?

In the books, Draco is spoiled beyond belief and shielded from real consequences. Lucius may be cold and calculating, but he is also incredibly protective of Draco, using his wealth and power to get him out of trouble. Lucius doesn’t just protect him, he caters to Draco’s every whim. A prime example? Lucius buys an entire Quidditch team a full set of the most expensive and current model brooms just to get Draco onto the team. This is not the behavior of an abusive father! It’s the behavior of someone who is going to make sure his child has everything they want, no matter the cost.

Even when the stakes are higher, Draco’s relationship with his parents remains one of indulgence, not abuse. In The Half-Blood Prince, Narcissa goes to extreme lengths to protect Draco, begging Snape to ensure he isn’t harmed by Voldemort’s mission should he fail. Even in the face of danger, the Malfoys’ priority is Draco’s safety and comfort. He’s still shielded from the real consequences of his actions.

Fandom’s Opinion That Draco Was Forced to Do the Things He Did

Fanfiction often reimagines Draco as a tragic figure, coerced into his actions by his family’s (especially his father’s) expectations, with the idea that he’s desperately trying to escape their influence. In this portrayal, Draco is depicted as someone forced to follow Voldemort’s orders, as though he has no control over his own actions. However, this view ignores the fact that Draco willingly accepts his family’s values and actively engages with the Dark Arts, even before Voldemort's return. From wishing death on Muggle-borns in The Chamber of Secrets, to laughing at the terror caused by Death Eaters at the Quidditch World Cup in The Goblet of Fire, to sneaking Death Eaters into Hogwarts in The Half-Blood Prince, Draco consistently makes choices that align with his family's beliefs, showing that he is complicit in the evil he witnesses and preserves.

Fandoms opinion of Draco's hesitation in Half Blood Prince

Fandom tends to take Draco's reluctance with Dumbledore as him questioning the morals of his family's side, but that's just not what was happening. Draco’s hesitation to kill Dumbledore isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about fear. Fear of what will happen to him and his family if he fails. Draco’s not worried about whether killing Dumbledore is wrong. He’s scared of the consequences if he messes up. He knows his family’s life depends on him, and if he doesn’t follow through, Voldemort will kill him and everyone he loves. His hesitation comes from that fear, not from any moral conflict. Besides, Draco knows Snape made that vow, giving him a fallback if he can’t do it. Not because he’s questioning the morality of it, but because he fears messing it up. It’s a case of him being protected from consequences, yet again.

Yes, I can understand some things

Draco was only 17 during Deathly Hallows. He was a sheltered, privileged child, never exposed to the harsh realities of the world outside his family’s wealth and power. His parents were in their 40s during this time and had been deeply involved in the First Wizarding War when they were much older than he was, likely in their 20s or early 30s. Draco, on the other hand, was still in his teens, and although his views might have aligned with the Death Eaters and Voldemort, actually carrying out those views, causing harm, being directly involved in violence, was an entirely different thing. Draco may have been raised to believe in these ideals, but putting them into action was something he was woefully unprepared for, and it showed in his hesitation.

That doesn't mean it changed him. He's not a victim, he was never forced. And there are plenty of other things I could get on about with him but this thing is long enough. Ok, so maybe he changed by time he had his kid, maybe let go of his prejudices (or maybe he's on a tighter leash because of the past, closely monitored). That does not automatically make him a good person. A better one? Yes. Good? No.

I get that this is FANDOM ok? There's GOTTA be some limit to it before it becomes separate from the books, this is nuts.

[my-castles-crumbling]

HIHIHI

thoughts on blairon?

ALSO

top five Jegulus/wolfstar/all the marauder fics from 2024?

Hi!!!

Ehhh, honestly I HC Ron as straight, but I don't HATE any ship, you know? Like you do you <3

I don't really want to give a top five because I don't like ranking fics...but my whole rec list is linked on my pinned post!

[jessiwritesstories]

I don't see that many Blairon fics/one-shots and I love them so much, so enjoy this one! I'm definitely going to be writing more!

Blairon: An Unlikely Union

A thick fog of tension filled the air as students from all houses returned to a school still haunted by ghosts of war. The scars of the Second Wizarding War ran deep-through its halls, its traditions, and its students.

Ron Weasley was one of those returning. He hadn't wanted to, not really, but Hermione had insisted. "We need to set an example, Ron. The world didn't stop just because Voldemort did."

He trudged to Defense Against the Dark Arts one chilly morning, his mood sour. The idea of finishing his NEWTs while surrounded by memories of the battle wasn't appealing. It didn't help that students like Blaise Zabini were also here, walking around as though they hadn't spent the last few years looking down their noses at everyone who wasn't pureblood.

Zabini, tall and effortlessly smug, had become a particular thorn in Ron’s side. They’d been paired for dueling practice, and from the first moment, their disdain was palpable.

“Nice form, Weasley. Did you learn that at the bargain bin of wand shops?” Blaise sneered, dodging Ron’s Disarming Charm with irritating grace.

Ron's face flushed as he sent another spell hurtling toward Blaise. "And what's your secret, Zabini? Is it pure arrogance, or did you bottle it up from your mother's marriage settlements?"

The insult struck home, and Blaise's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Careful, Weasley. You might find yourself hexed into silence."

The duel escalated quickly, spells flying faster and more recklessly. Their professor, a stern witch named Professor Atwood, was forced to intervene, throwing up a Shield Charm between them.

"Enough!" she barked. "You two are supposed to be practicing teamwork, not reenacting a duel in the Great Hall. Detention. Both of you. Tonight."

Ron groaned audibly. Blaise simply rolled his eyes.

---

The storeroom of cursed artifacts was cramped and cold, filled with dusty shelves and ominous objects that hummed with faint magical energy.

“Start with the left side,” Professor Atwood instructed. “Alphabetize the inventory. And no dueling. I’ll know.” She swept out of the room, leaving the two boys in tense silence.

Ron yanked open a drawer with more force than necessary, its contents rattling noisily. Blaise leaned against a nearby shelf, watching him with a raised eyebrow.

"Subtle, Weasley," Blaise said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Subtlety's not my thing," Ron shot back, slamming a jar of glowing stones onto the counter.

The uneasy truce dissolved as they worked in uncomfortable proximity. Blaise muttered caustic remarks under his breath, and Ron replied with loud, fumbling clatters to the floor.

It was inevitable that something would go wrong.

Ron lifted a dusty jar of green mist and peered at the label. "What's this supposed to—"

The lid popped off with a hiss, and the mist enveloped him in seconds. Ron staggered, his wand slipping from his grasp as his vision blurred. He felt as though invisible hands were closing around his throat.

"Bloody hell, Weasley!" Blaise was at his side in an instant. He snatched up Ron's wand and cast a hasty counter-curse; the mist dissolved into nothing.

Ron coughed, leaning heavily against Blaise who was holding him steady by the shoulders. For a moment, their faces were inches apart.

"You could've just let me choke, you know," Ron said awkwardly, voice hoarse.

"Believe me, it crossed my mind," Blaise replied, but in a tone that didn't possess its usual bite."

Ron straightened, brushing himself off. "Thanks, I guess."

"Don't mention it. Literally. I don't want anyone thinking I'm in the habit of saving Gryffindors."

Despite the snark, something shifted between them. The insults that followed were less venomous, tinged with an odd sort of curiosity.

---

A week passed before their truce gave way to their next fight in the library. Blaise, nose buried in a thick tome, was annoyed by the loudness of Ron's voice as he debated Quiddish tactics with Seamus.

"For Merlin's sake, Weasley, must you shout?" Blaise snapped.

Ron turned, crossing his arms. "What's wrong, Zabini? Are my very presence an offense against your sensitive nature?"

Blaisemerewas, flashing the stormiest dark eyes.

Ron rejoined hotly stepping until the two of them are toe to nose.

They cut dead abruptly when Ron leans and presses a kiss.

It wasn't calculated or careful—more like a dare, clumsy and impulsive. Blaise froze for a heartbeat, then responded, pulling Ron closer.

When they broke apart, Blaise smirked. "If I knew you'd shut up like that, I would've kissed you ages ago."

"Shut up," Ron muttered, pulling him back in.

---

By Christmas, they'd settled into a rhythm of bickering and stolen moments. Their relationship was fiery and complicated, but undeniably real.

During one snowy trip to Hogsmeade, they argued over who got to buy butterbeer.

"I don't need your charity, Weasley," Blaise snarled.

"It's not charity—it's a date!" Ron protested, forcing a handful of Sickles into the direction of the barmaid.

Their loud voices attracted many odd glances from the students standing around. Frustrated, Blaise dragged Ron by the scarf and kissed him soundly to shut him up.

When he drew back, Ron looked dazed. Blaise smiled to himself, his breath visible in the cold air. "Fine. You win this time."

Ron grinned, tugging Blaise's scarf up around his neck and drawing him near. "I always do.

They strolled hand in hand toward the castle, their taut moments of words replaced by subdued laughter. The war could have taken its toll on many fronts, but at moments like this, healing was more palpable.

[cosmicbutterfly121]

Au where the past blacks, potters, Slytherin families and marauders PLUS the orginal timeline of Harry Potter meets or reacts to some fics about drarry, blairon, pansmione, neville x theo( idk about the ship name) linny and the other gay ships. l genuinely want the past an the original timeline react to their happier versions of themselves and react to some fics while the past pureblood families are gaping in shock of how the other versions disregarding the pureblood traditions and dating boy/girl/muggle or is it just me?

[hp-hcs]

Not really a request but holy crap your nb blaise fic was absolutely amazing hell yeah ill integrate that into my belief system. Do you have any other hcs about that bc it's super cool

(more) nonbinary! blaise zabini headcanons — a (sort of) part two to my fic uniforms

there’s a lot, so i’ve divided them up into sections and subsections

also i’m tired and it’s late if there are any typos shhh no there aren’t

~ 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 ~

they’re better at makeup than you, hands down

isn’t blaise like canonically (aka, the actor) 6’3”? well anyways, they wear heels. they don’t need them, but they own six inch stilettos and won’t miss a step. absolutely strutting on the moving stairs while everyone watches like “how the fuck—”

(if you ask why they wear them, their answer will always be “so i can step on men, duh”)

~ ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕦𝕥 ~

• mrs. zabini •

their mom is hella supportive!!!

one of her definitely-not-murdered ex-husbands mysteriously went missing after making some joke at blaise’s expense

no, mr. auror, i haven’t a clue how my husband ended up at the bottom of the black lake with the word ‘transphobe’ magically carved into his forehead what that’s crazy

• slytherin squad™️ •

draco: shouts “i knew it!!!!” and runs off to go get his money from whoever he bet against

theo: could not give less of a fuck. i kinda hc theo as being fluid or at least apathetic to their own gender, so it’s all love & support over here!!

mattheo: needs it explained a couple times, but once he gets it, he never messes up their pronouns and will fight any bitch who does

pansy: absolute queen. she will d r a g them to diagon alley to go shopping with her and will buy them their first personal makeup palette. we stan.

enzo: already knew. knew like, two years ago. when they come out, he’s just like, “oh!! i’m so happy you finally figured it out!! i’ve been waiting for you to say something for ages!!!!”

• adults •

dumbledick: completely ignores their pronouns bc all slytherins are evil and he’s definitely not biased or anything

snape: is an asshole about it.

voldemort: would be like 🧍‍♂️“ok but ur still one of my death eaters right?”

narcissa: does that one fake polite smile and nod that every white mom is capable of. “how lovely, dear.”

bellatrix: man, bitch is crazy. who even knows

tonks: AGGRESSIVELY supportive

• golden trio (& co.) •

harry: gets into an argument with the slytherins and calls blaise “he”. draco’s ready to beat his ass, but blaise just calmly explains their gender identity and harry apologizes, then goes back to arguing with them, ✨respectfully✨.

ron: (what no i’m definitely not a blairon shipper shut up) immediately switches to strictly gender-neutral language and goes out of his way to ask them what terms/compliments/etc they’re comfortable being called.

hermione: hot take! i hc her as a closeted lesbian with internalized homophobia, and i think she’d try to make an argument about “bUt ThEy iS pLuRaL”.

neville: cutie pie!! he just nods and is like “okay! 🥹🌱”

ginny: doesn’t give a fuck. blaise is on the slytherin quidditch team, and damn if you think she isn’t going to do everything in her power to continue trying to beat them

luna: sagely nods like it was obvious. “oh, the nargles already told me.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

comments are always appreciated!! the author thrives off encouragement, like a toddler being given a gold star sticker!!!

[klinefelterrible]

At The Longbottoms’

Neville: I really enjoy these little meetings of ours

Pansy: oh I so adore them, it’s so nice to have all friends together at once

Harry: thanks for including us, guys

Hermione: I love your house

Draco: I’m so drunk

Blaise: when did you manage to get drunk?

Harry and Pansy: Hermione

Hermione: guilty as charged

Neville: since when are you daydrinking?

Hermione: since Mrs Malfoy invites me over to her for some little-little somethings from her wine cellar

Harry: twice a week

Harry: and then they’re scissoring

Hermione: oh, yes

Draco: which I still haven’t approved yet

Hermione: -pending Draco’s approval of course—

Blaise: did you know that Ronald cannot come when he’s drunk?

Ron: and Blaise cannot get hard-hard

Blaise: that is true

Draco: I bet Pansy and Longbottom don’t have no problems of this sort

Hermione: I think they live an excellent life with at least more than satisfactory sexual relationship

Harry: why not excellent as well?

Hermione: who would call a life without anal sex excellent?

Ron: well I used t—

Draco: shut the fuck up ginger

Blaise: uhm—

Harry: ah, yes—

Draco: sexless life, what a nightmare! Harry and I are fucking since—

Hermione: yes, we know since when

Draco: *stabs her under the table with his high heel*

Hermione: ouch!

Draco: don’t you dare interrupt me, you gorgeous whore

Hermione: but—

Draco: *grabs her by the neck and throws her back*

Draco: we are fucking since—

Ron, Blaise, Hermione, Pansy and Neville: year three

Harry: actually…

Draco: it seemed like eternity

Draco: waiting for you to finally understand my signals and love language

Harry: I fucked his ass in my dreams so many times I really have no idea which time was actually the first real one

Pansy and Hermione: aaaaawwww :3

Ron: that’s sick dude

Blaise: don’t say that, it’s cute

Ron: I mean he was so weird we all thought he was into Cho and then into Hermione and even Luna

Luna: Harry was into-into me?

Harry: yeah I loooove cute petite blonde weirdos with long hair and cute butts

Luna: I thought we were just having it casually

Draco: you had it casually

Draco: as he was, is and will die MINE

Draco: give me a cigarette

Ron: here

Draco: light it for me will ya? I am so pissed

Ron: okay okay

Draco: but anyway why aren’t Pansy and Longbottom having anal? It’s only healthy

Neville: well I uhm-

Pansy: Neville and I, uh-

Draco: basing on their stupid face expressions I think—

Pansy: wh—

Draco: so I think they did it, there was a little poopy catastrophe and-

Draco: look at me, Pansy

Pansy: *avoiding his gaze*

Neville: uhm, I, uh—

Draco: I am guessing two… three weeks ago

Draco: it’s nothing to be ashamed of

Harry: yeah there are spells and potions and

Neville: yes but we wanted to have it naturally and

Pansy: let’s not——

Hermione: you gotta eat more fiber

Blaise: I second that

Ron: we use spells, though

Blaise: but I eat a lot of fiber so the spells act as a double safe

Pansy: uhm

Hermione: I don’t care, my ass is magical

Harry: she has a ring-amulet on her neck since year four

Hermione: and my ass is magical

Luna: how magical?

Hermione: very magical

Pansy: ——talk about it…

Draco: I don’t care

Draco: I need to be fucked so often I really don’t care about that stuff anymore

Harry: the spell is my obligation

Draco: I bet it was the same day they had Narcissa’s cheesecake—

Pansy: —a day after—

Draco: —or a day after

Harry: ahh… the famous Narcissa’s cheesecake

Draco: ruining anal since the dawn of time

Hermione: I love that woman

Hermione: I would literally never stop eating her out

Draco: hey

Draco: is there a way for us to not have this conversation?

Neville: you talk about sucking Harry’s dick all the time

Pansy: and then you just do it

Neville: in front of us!

Draco: would you like me to hide it from you?

Harry: here we go

Draco: do you want me to hide the love I am so gladly giving to him? The-

Pansy: Draco, please

Neville: I didn’t mean anyth—

Draco: it all started with this whore! *pointing at Luna*

Luna: me?

Draco: shit

Draco: wait a minute—

Draco: *pointing at Pansy, shaking head, then at Hermione*

Draco: That whore!

Hermione: ah yes, that is true

Hermione: but today I am here with Luna

Draco: she looks exactly like my mom

Luna: thank you

Draco: does she taste so divinely too?

Harry: now whatever else you say, it’s your fault

Draco: what

Harry: you just called your mom’s cat “divine”

Draco: she gave birth to me

Draco: what else would you call it

Harry: smooth

Neville: jesus christ

Hermione: I am kissing her there exactly because of it

Harry: don’t you start with it now

Harry: not you too I mean—

Ron: I am not surprised

Blaise: and I am having a time of my life

Ron: time of your life like yesterday when we fucked so hard your legs couldn’t stop shaking for an hour?

Blaise: almost like that

Draco: dirty faggot show-offs

Harry: it is almost always exactly the same with them

Neville: how about some popcorn, anyone?

Pansy: we have juice too

Harry: jesus Pansy why did you-

Pansy: wha—

Hermione: I love your mom’s juices

Draco: I once called them home

Draco: my smell is her smell

Hermione: can I smell you now?

Draco: do you want to kiss those babygirl lips?

Luna: so did I just now learned that Draco and Hermione are doing it

Harry: are you okay with it?

Luna: *watching Hermione caressing Draco’s dick under the table* *looking at passionate kisses exchange between them* yeah I’m okay

Harry: it’s a delicate matter to both of them

Luna: I can see that

Harry: and they are both drunk

Luna: yeeah

Blaise: so anyway as far as I know if you guys use a lot of lube and not much of a force, you’ll be okay

Ron: he’s talking about anal

Neville: uhm

Pansy: yes, I know that, Ronald, thank you

Hermione: *passionately kissing Draco’s neck*

Harry: in five, four, three, two, one…

Luna: huh?

Draco: I need to suck a dick right now

Harry: bingo

Draco: any dick

Harry: okay *stands up over him*

Draco: *gets sucked off by Hermione, gives head to Harry*

Neville: and now I am glad my grandmother couldn’t come

Pansy: I think she somehow knew it might happen

Luna: I believe that if you told her that Draco was going to come, she’d just—

Neville: *looking at Draco mouth-fucking Harry* *hearing Hermione’s moans from under the table* I wonder if we could ever have a party without people fucking in front of us

Blaise: *getting slowly fingered by Ron* uhm

Ron: yeah these things just keep happening

Harry: they know you two are petting each other since you came here

Blaise: not since we came!

Blaise: because mister thickfinger is also thickheaded sometimes

Ron: I was eating!

Blaise: You could just eat with one hand

Blaise: or I could be feeding you

Ron: let’s save it for when I’m in my nineties

Harry: *comes*

Draco: *comes*

Hermione: *moans*

Blaise: *moans*

Hermione: *comes*

Blaise: whoa!

Ron: too deep?

Blaise: no, not that

Blaise: she just came from sucking Draco’s dick

Hermione: also Luna was petting me with her foot

Draco: *panting* THAT is sick

Harry: so anyway

Hermione: she has pretty little cutie feets

Draco: give me a break

Hermione: almost as pretty as your m—

Draco: I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOUR SNAKE TONGUE

Draco: you forsaken whore

Hermione: geez I’m sorry I love your mother

Harry: he literally just came in her mouth and now he’s despising it for having an opinion

Pansy: classic Draco

Draco: husband, stop mansplaining everyone

Luna: no, Harry, please go on

Luna: I like the live commentary

Draco: “I like the live commentary” how stupid are you, stupid bitch?

Luna: Draco, you are a magnificent, hypersexual being and I adore every bit of you

Draco: :v

Draco: shit she looks like my mom and I was so mean to her

Neville and Pansy: whoa

Draco: *blush*

Hermione: what’s going on

Harry: it’s the post-coital confusion

Draco: what is what?

Harry: this is adorable

Harry: someone please take a picture I will hang it in my office

Neville: *clicks his smartphone*

Pansy: *clicks her smartphone five times*

Hermione: what is going on

Luna: I think it was nargles

Harry: oh no

Ron: shit

Draco: what the fuck is nargles

Harry: aaand we’re back to square one

Draco: do you have some vodka?

Neville: yes *reaches for a bottle*

Neville: as I was saying, I really enjoy these little meetings of ours

Draco: *takes away the bottle from Neville’s hands and starts chugging*

Draco: *lets out a long, nasty burp*

Pansy: ah yes, the smell of vodka and cum

Pansy: this sooo reminds me of Slytherin dormitory

Ron: or the floor in Viktor Krum’s tent

Hermione: yeah

Ron: he fucked you in the ass, didn’t he

Hermione: yeah and the second he came he literally passed out in the puddle of spilled vodka and his own sperm

Luna: oh! I like this word

Ron: what, sperm?

Blaise: I like Ron’s sperm

Pansy: jesus christ

Pansy: can we stop saying “sperm”?

Harry: here we go

Draco: *during one long burp* spe-eeeeerrrrrrr-mmm

Harry: *tired sigh* happy now?

Luna: *dreamy sigh* yes

Pansy: *sarcastic sigh* yes

Hermione: I-

Harry: please

Hermione: are we supposed to stop talking at all?

Draco: Alas! The stupid whore comes to her senses and finally speaks some wisdom

Hermione: thank you

Draco: anyway let’s finish the subject of Mr and Mrs Longbottom having an-

Neville: I was happy when we didn’t talk for a while

Pansy: I was about to say that

Luna: they are so harmonious and unanimous

Draco: I like her

Draco: she speaks my language

Harry: we all speak your language

Ron: huh?

Draco: you gotta repeat yourself, Potter, because orangutan here didn’t get it

Luna: because he’s red and big?

Draco: because he’s an ape

Blaise: my sex-crazed monkey

Draco: you’re too slim for a gorilla, Zabini

Harry: please don’t

Draco: he’s a-

Harry: don’t be racist

Luna: a lemur!

Draco: what the fuck is a lemur?

Hermione: it’s a—

Draco: shut it

Draco: I think we should go home now

Harry: really? Why do you think so?

Draco: the vibe is off

Harry: you mean you’re drunk, you had sex with a girl and a boy, your mother was mentioned, then the slytherin, there was cum mentioned, Blaise is still fingered by Ron and Luna is most likely fingering Hermione under the table or it’s the other way around or both. Is there anything else here that needs to happen for the meeting to conclude?

Draco: *frowns*

Hermione: uh-oh

Draco: *lets out a long, loud, wet fart*

Draco: I think some of your cum just left my body

Neville: and this one’s on you, Harry

Neville: you shouldn’t have asked that question

Draco: Neville’s got a point

Harry: did you just call him “Neville”?

Draco: isn’t this his name?

Pansy: you always say “Longbottom”

Draco: that’s rubbish

Draco: also there’s cum in my panties

Harry: you are not wearing panties

Draco: shit

Draco: there’s cum in my miniskirt

Harry: I think it’s safe to assume that this chair needs some cleaning

Neville: I was going to throw it away anyway

Draco: let’s go

Pansy: it was a pleasure as always

Draco: of course

Draco: especially for the whore here *points at Hermione*

Harry: thanks, guys

Hermione: I am coming too

Pansy: you mean coming, not coming, right?

Hermione: I mean I AM CO—

Luna: *grabs Hermione’s face*

Pansy: okay I get it

Neville: we can play Wizardopoly some other time

*Ron and Blaise apparate with a loud moan and a bang*

Neville: how about I invite my Grandma now

Pansy: how about you fuck my ass with the spell now

Neville: now?

Pansy: oh yeah

Neville: in front of—

*naked Hermione apparates*

Neville: —Luna?

Luna: don’t mind me, I can be your emotional support

Pansy: uhm—

Luna: I can also go outside and search for nargles

Pansy: oh thanks, they’re becoming a real problem outside

Neville: thank you, Luna! Love you!

Pansy: now where were we?

Neville: …damn

Pansy: what

Neville: I don’t know the spell

Pansy: call Harry

Neville: jesus christ okay

Neville: *unflips phone* hey Harry… tell me the spell

Harry: “fecerectumdisplacenta”

Neville: thanks *flips phone*

Pansy: is it “fecerectumdisplacenta”?

Neville: yes!

Neville: how did you know?

Pansy: Draco had it on his collar back in hogwarts

Neville: that’s really considerate

Pansy: his mom has just arrived one day at Hogwarts and gave it to him, and said that he needs to “know how to take care of shit”

Neville: that woman is…

Neville: all I’m saying it is impossible to not adore her

Pansy: I second that

Pansy: now where were we…

[sitp-recs]

Hi! 🧚🏻 I hope you are doing great :).

I was wondering if you have more Blaise/Ron fic recs? Fluffy ones would be amazing :).

Thank you so much for giving great recommendations, you are truly amazing! 🫂💗

Hi there! I’m doing well thank you, what about you? Unfortunately I haven’t read much Blairon besides That one time Ron attended Harry's party and didn't enjoy it at all by MelCalder. I hope my followers can offer more recs!