#but it still comes out so CLEAR
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#smth about this image#the hopeless rage in his eyes#he knows he's powerless but he can't help being so angry about the situation#because it's not fair#he didn't do anything to the world so why is it so cruel to him and his family#what has he done to deserve this#and how half his face is covered by the shadows so you can barely see his expression#but it still comes out so CLEAR#you can see the glistening of tears too#how red and puffy his eyes are from crying every night where no one can see or hear him#and how tense his jaw is#how furrowed his brows are#like he's holding back every vile thought he wants to scream into the world#because he doesn't deserve this#none of them do#jonathan byers#charlie heaton#stranger things#mb i shouldn’t have put all this in the tags lmao#jonathanbyersneedsabreak#jonathanbyersdeservesbetter#pin
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.
i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.
Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?
(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)
#does this make any sense?#not to say we’re all abnormal freaks over here but also…. we lowkey are freaks lol#like this is not typical behavior#obvs when I say dressing alt and counterculture I’m aware phannies aren’t like a predominantly goth community or some extreme aesthetic#or what have you#I just mean that this is obviously not a super mainstream interest nor are they mainstream creators anymore#(arguably they never were. they were big but not mainstream. I think people entrenched in internet#and YouTube and phandom can become a bit tunnelvisioned and#and forget that even at their peak Dan and Phil were still#a niche interest and an unconventional one#but i digress)#basically I’m trying to figure out how many of us are also living double lives on here#I hope no one comes for my over this or it doesn’t get misconstrued#I just have like SUCH a normal job and so many people I know would be DEEPLY confused if they learned about this whole thing#and obviously there isn’t a clear binary of like normal vs. internet dwelling weirdo#and that we contain multitudes#and all things can be true simultaneously#I know I know I know you know that I know right?? but you also know what I mean right??#me yapping#dan and phil#phan
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We lived.
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#FELT THAT GOOD GOOD VINDICATION HOARDING SCROLLS THE ENTIRE TIME FOR ONE (1) TO FINALLY COME IN HANDY HAHAHAHAHAHFHGD#This fight was absolutely bananas - I was so close to restarting it when everything looked bleak but I didn't and I'm so glad#because it made for a very dramatic story lol#Rambling incoming:#I split the party really bad bc I wasn't super clear on the AOE lightning attack so when the second one rolled around Gale was the only-#-one able to take cover in the building...but I don't think it even worked??#Lae'zel was down long before then but Wyll and Croissant were in death saves#Used all of Gale's movement AND misty step to get to Croissant but he still couldn't get close enough & had to throw a potion#I think I used a potion of speed then so Croissant could cast globe of invuln right away#(and it took 10min of looking through my inventory to even see I had something to do bc otherwise we would've died right there don't @ me)#But then we were STILL too far away from Ansur for 60' spells so I had to keep running them out of the globe - using a spell - and then-#-mISTY STEPPING BACK INTO IT BC WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MOVEMENT SPEED#it was rough but we made it#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#ansur quest#croissant adventures#tav#ansur#gale#gale dekarios#breadweave#gale x tav#YEAH WE'RE PUTTING IT IN THAT TAG#comics
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Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.
Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?
Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.
Random Chatter: The cookies though?
Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]
Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.
Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!
Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.
Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.
#Philza#Phil#QSMP#For real though it's WILD that some people genuinely have that mentality#People forget that the ccs need breaks and so do the Eggs!#many of whom are in college#and hell even if they weren't#they still need a break!#Plus it's the holidays#Context for this conversation in case it wasn't clear: Phil was talking about leaving for the holidays and said others will be too#and some random chatters got annoying spamming about the Eggs and saying they'll die#I didn't catch this live but I'm watching the VOD#Idk. QSMP is almost a year old and people still get worried about the same stupid stuff#''The eggs are gonna die! No one will take care of this specific Egg unless I spam their name in chat 100000 times!''#''Nobody cares about my fave and clearly I know better than actual members of the server''#Like. c'mon man be serious#Everyone loves the Eggs#I feel like a lot of fans really do need to unplug and remember that it's not that serious#and this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out at Bobby's death#real ass people's lives matter more. Let them take a break#Q's said so many times that they Eggs matter and he wouldn't just kill them all off for the hell of it#anyhoo#December 25 2023#Q#Subtitles#Edited
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this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh
i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest
anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~
#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna#it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie#especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you!#and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family*#not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason#and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of)#FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore#thanks tsukutabe. i guess?#this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally!#idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too#and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do#i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now#i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved
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also WHERE is the au where, at some point in his decade long fake dead stint, Shan Gudao discovers his useless cripple son is now actually a pretty decent option for an heir, and poor Fang Doubing:
1) gets his ass kidnapped
2) finds out he's adopted in the worst way
3)finds out his biological father is plotting treason and world domination
4) decides to go all in on being undercover because he's Li Xiangyi's disciple! he has to stop this evil! he can definitely bring this down from the inside!! justice for his shifu!!!
cue poor fang doubing who spends like five years learning to manipulate and/or manslaughter his way through more ethical nightmares than he realised existed, and keeps learning worse and worse reasons that basically no one is trustworthy except, and this is the rub, his shifu (murdered) and maybe di feisheng (tricked into murdering his shifu, also in seclusion, also also definitely not aware most of his underlings are plotting against him)
and then, of course, di feisheng comes out of seclusion, and fang doubing figures...well. maybe having an ally - or at least someone vaguely on the same side - might be novel, after so many years on his own against the sprawling horror of his father's plans.
also I do need to be clear here bc this is tumblr etc etc I am disabled myself, I know cripple is a loaded word for some people but like. I, a cripple. do not @ me
#mysterious lotus casebook#fang doubing#my stuff#man i guess i need to come up with a tag to collect my nonsense in#also i do need to be clear: li lianhua is still fucking about. looking for shan gudaos corpse.#rip to him but poor fang doubing is playing xanatos speed chess against his megalomaniac bio dad#di feisheng comes out of seclusion and is immediately presented with just. So Many problems by sone random twunk#waters words
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lockwood & co is great bc you have a group of teenagers who are all at this point in their lives highly trained individuals and capable and experienced and it shows in how they operate. but they are also teenagers and chaotic and disorganized and struggling with altogether too much pressure on their shoulders and it shows too. they're marching around London acting like they know what they're doing and they do but at the same time they don't, because they hunt ghosts and have for years but they're only sixteen and that is so young. you don't know anything when you're sixteen. and they have the health and safety of a nation resting on their shoulders, and they squabble over who gets the last cookie.
#lockwood & co#lockwood and co#fell in love with the series while the books were still coming out and i am beyond thrilled it got made into a series#but i dont have the books with me right now so i cant do the reread i desperately want to after watching the show#i do love how the adaptation was handled though!!#the things they changed worked better for tv format but its so clear that they were so fond of the source material and i love it#slimy speaks#lockwood and co netflix#lucy carlyle#anthony lockwood#george karim#george i love you more than life itself btw. my boy
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SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (1989)
#beautiful boy#sex lies and videotape#james spader#graham dalton#*#steven soderbergh#I don’t usually think of jim’s career in terms of best work or best performance#I’m a little more hedonistic when it comes to him and well aware of the subjectivity that brings#but when it comes to movies it’s definitely this right. alan shore clears if we include TV and I’ll hear you out on secretary but it’s this#but maybe I’m projecting again because I love graham so much I can’t talk about it#I said I’d watch this again when I feel better and I still haven’t watched it but it’s nice to know he’s waiting
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wild to me to see posts like "wow everything in the tempest is named after shakespeare...emet you melodramatic bitch you sure loved theater". because the prospero-emet thing gets played up so hard in the english script and you can carry it so far!
like prospero is an asshole magician who, after being deposed by his brother as duke of milan, settles himself and his daughter on a remote island, enslaves the local spirits using his magic, and bitterly plots to reclaim his past glories. he rules through violence and deceit, and only survives and is reconciled when his plots reach their fruition and his brother is taken to his remote island and plots ensue and everyone decides he was totally right all along and they were huge dicks to him and they're sooooo sorry and he gets to go back and be duke again wow! and it's okay because he's like "i was only doing mean magic to get my rightful spot back and now i'm giving it up because magic is evil. :)"
the tempest is what emet wants his life to be. prospero is not a villain in the text of the tempest. he is barely treated as antagonistic by the text and framing of the play itself. all his abuses, his neglect and control of his daughter, his enslavement of caliban and ariel (local spirits/monsters/people of the island), his deception and plots against his brother, his abuse of magical powers (not awesome, from the pov of the contemporary audience), all that ultimately gets swept aside in the rightness of his return to milan and the warm feeling of the world being set to rights. prospero can't undo the years he spent on the island but they are ultimately a blip in his life before he returns to the rightful state of affairs. his abuse and enslavement of caliban, easily the worst thing he does in the play, is totally set aside when caliban goes "wow now i see how truly benevolent my master is. i love him and see the ways of christian good and i'm so, so appreciative he chose not to kill or beat me even though he totally could have and would have been in the right. he's so just and intelligent." everyone loves and forgives him and they all agree both his management of the island and his ultimate return are so good and so wise and so right.
emet comparing himself to the tempest (or being compared to it, depending on how you want to read the diegetic status of the place names) is absolute wishcasting. it is an attempt to manifest the happy ending he will never, ever get because his sins cannot and would not be forgiven in the way he wants. he wants to imagine himself as the righteous returned duke whose crimes, including the enslavement, abuse, and exploitation of those he saw as his rightful inferiors, were totally worth it, i promise. and if emet is prospero, the warrior of light is his caliban.
#emet-selch#ffxiv#hades#shadowbringers spoilers#like by the time you get to the end you've already spoken to the amaurotine shades and hythlodaeus in particular#it's incredibly clear that even if emet's plans come to fruition he is *utterly alien to the world he is trying to restore*#and like prospero is restored in the end. but his wife is still dead. miranda grew up isolated and alone.#also to take a somewhat more jaundiced view#the things he did to caliban and to ariel can never be undone. that stain is with him forever.#and i mean even IF you can just yank all those souls right out of zodiark and fix the whole thing#there's still everyone who died before the first sacrifice and after the second. also THE VOID IS THE VOID.#'yeah uh we'll just fix that. when zodiark is up and running properly.'#sure dude i totally believe your expertise on the problem you caused by not knowing enough. you definitely know enough now.#anyways he can't waver for even a moment bc it means acknowledging he has betrayed everything he ever claimed to believe in due to his grie#he is in blood stepped so far etc. if i can be allowed to mix my shakespeares#emet-selch more like emet-sunk cost fallacy#meta: durai report
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god!merlin
druids can NOT speak in people’s minds. when they are before a high priestess, they can pray to her directly and she can hear them (hence the scene between morgana and mordred when he spoke in her mind).
merlin who constantly has this buzzing in the back of his head that he can never understand besides the occasional odd word which makes no sense. but when he’s closer to a druid or when their prayer is super strong, then he can make out what they’re saying.
merlin who brings up the fact that druids can speak into peoples minds to gaius who casually unfurls a scroll containing his ongoing list of reasons why merlin is/evidence of merlin being a god of the old religion.
#merlin just can’t remember bc he was born into a mortal body and his mortal brain couldn’t begin to comprehend#what it’s like to exist as a god#so he forgot#but every time he dies and comes back - or even casts a spell - a bit more of his mortality burns away#merlin emrys#emrys the god of life death and magic#(real)#high priestess morgana#god!merlin#bbc merlin#morgana pendragon#after arthur repeals the ban and a bunch of druids come to camelot to work out all the messy business#the druids gather before a hearth and make an offering to emrys who is literally in the same castle as them#their prayer is so strong and so close that the buzz in the back of merlin’s head turns into very clear screaming#gaius adds one more item to his list#eventually he’ll reclaim his status as a god but he’ll still stay by arthur’s side until the end of his life#and then - as a god - he’ll take arthur’s soul (and all his friends souls) and carry them into the realm of the gods#and they’ll all live there for eternity together bc i like happy endings#(+ now arthur gets to stand at merlin’s side as merlin leads his people (the gods))
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I know this is beating a dead horse at this point, but I just started thinking about this the other day and...
How many people that were previously enemies has Sonic ACTUALLY befriended?
Like my knowledge of some old games and the handhelds ain't great, but...
There was Knuckles, who I think is the only one in the classic era.
He never really befriended Gamma in SA1, just left him to Amy.
Also he didn't befriend Chaos, just beat the anger out of him.
The next one was Shadow in SA2, although they're still kinda rivals?
I don't think Rouge counts in SA2 since she wasn't really an enemy of Sonic specifically, even in Heroes it's really Sonic and Shadow that start the fight.
Gemerl is a robot who was reprogrammed to be friendly, I wouldn't count that as "befriending someone".
Him and Jet are rivals in every Riders game, this never changes.
Blaze in Rush is someone that fought him and they became friends, so it's clear cut, she counts.
Silver in '06 does as well.
Do we count Shade from Chronicles? I think she had a boss fight. I know very little about that game but it's not canon, right?
Merlina is kinda a grey area? Like they were friends, he stopped her evil plans and was still nice to her. I don't know if in context that meets the criteria.
On top of that I don't think the Knights of the Round Table count. Sonic is there to take the swords and they work together at the end. I don't think there's any hard feelings, but don't know if this counts as "friends".
Sage could be the next example, but she's still loyal to Eggman. I don't think what they briefly shared was friendship as much as Sage wanting to save Eggman.
I haven't played Superstars but Trip doesn't even have a bossfight, does she? I don't think she counts.
Not looking at the method, just purely if they became friends down the line. Out of all of those, there's 4 total (if you count Shadow, which I do) with 1 it's complicated and 1 non-canon. That's very few when you consider how large the game cast is.
An overwhelming majority of his friends weren't ever hostile with him to begin with, like the Chaotix, Amy, Tails, Cream, Emerl, Big, ect. There's plenty of other cast members that are still have him on their shit list, like Eggman, Infinite (if he's alive), Fang, Metal, Eggman Nega, the Deadly Six...
Now I'm starting to wonder where this idea of it being a frequent even came from.
#i still don't read the comic anymore but it's kinda hard to not see anything about it in the sonic fandom#anyways yeah that's my ramblings on the subject#a weird aspect to latch onto when it's only happened a few times#and the last definitive one was 18 years ago#and again not looking too hard at the context of those situations in this post i already know the comic misrepresents them#because aside from blaze sonic never instigated those friendships#he's a go with the flow kinda guy so he'll match your energy#you come at him aggressive and he'll be aggressive back#but also if you're friendly he'll be friendly kinda thing#anti idw sonic#idw sonic#fans don't look#hopefully that covers the tag blocking list#and people properly filter because i don't want to leave the idw tag out#in case anyone is just trying to steer clear of anything idw
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So I was thinking about the whole elves-being-naturally-prettier-than-humans thing because that was always sort of weird to me when I FINALLY think I figured it out.
Humans used to know about the elves, and there are some things they still remember—hence myths about Atlantis and such. Reality is, humans and elves resembled each other in a lot of ways, but elves put themselves on a pedestal as better than every other species (that’s, like, canon, and better be addressed more fully at some point?) and that’s probably a part of the reasons humans “betrayed” the elves—they got sick of hearing that elves were better.
But it was just sort of implanted in their minds, though they weren’t fans of the idea, and elves didn’t go to great lengths to erase that idea from their minds. So humans remember myths and some things about elves, and Atlantis being the underwater city………and beauty standards.
It’s not that elves are naturally prettier than humans. It’s that human beauty standards are shaped around the natural looks of elves.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
#and human beauty standards change all the time obviously#height and weight and all. they come in and out of fashion every decade and that’s it’s whole own issue#but things like symmetry#clear skin#etc#those things are pretty much universal#there’s also a mathematical model for a ratio range of female attributes that is considered most beautiful across all times and cultures#even considering different heights and weights and such#so there’s definitely some consistency to beauty standards and THAT would be how elves are more naturally beautiful.#they look like their own species and they’ve ingrained it into the minds of other species that they are superior#so subconsciously the humans still believe it#>:(#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#shannon messenger#kotlc fandom#kotlc theories
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Why I'm Not Buying New Tickets for the Sydcarmy Train (For Now Anyway)
So yesterday I re-watched S3 (aside from EP10. I didn't feel like watching Sydney having a panic attack again) so I can write this with a fresher perspective.
For a little context, S3 dropped at 2am Thursday for where I was and I couldn't get to sleep because A) I was so excited to watch it and B) It was more hot than usual so that kept me awake so I watched it all immediately.
My main stance is not that I don't necessarily doubt sydcarmy will happen, but rather I don't like the idea of it as much as I did before S3. Now, to my points:
Season 4 May Be the Last Season I believe it will be, or if we're lucky (???), an extra season. With how the story has gone thus far, and how the actors are being catapulted into the spotlight, I doubt there will be time for a satisfying sydcarmy ending.
Carmen Is No Longer Attractive as a Male Lead
The bear is a show of flawed characters that we can all connect, sympathise and root for in one way or another.
I had a hard time finding the Carmy from the previous seasons, or enough of the good traits that made him sympathetic enough for me to overlook his unsavoury ones. The yelling, ignoring, the disrespect, the arrogance, the abandonment, the neglect (and whatever else I haven't said) directed at Sydney (and everyone else, but she gets the worst of him the most often) doesn't make me want to see them kiss.
The first word that came to mind is gross. Could you imagine if a friend explained what Sydney has went through with Carmen then revealed they're getting into a romantic relationship with him? There's a certain ick factor that can't be undone completely by longing stares, chemistry and hundreds of analysis posts for me.
If being around your "soulmate" is leading to deteriorating health, it's not worth it. Smells too much like struggle love to me, and I'm not fond of the implications of that.
Dwindling Faith in the Execution of Sydney’s Character I held an expectation that S3 will be heavily focused on Sydney, but she was side-lined once again, and not for characters or arcs that I and a lot of viewers wanted to see. (Not to mention how this season was in general).
This season was mostly rising action and conflict, and with that we've seen Sydney at her lowest and have to wait to see if she will be victorious before the end (the word victory was first said by Sydney and one other person so far in the show, so I hope that's a good sign).
I don't want to sit through watching a black woman be a workhorse/emotional support/"work wife" to a white guy, or just anyone really. There was microscopic if non-existent reciprocity or at the bare minimum acknowledgement of what Sydney has done for everyone and the restaurant (and not just from Carmen).
Carmen Has to Change More Than Sydney Does His flaws far out weigh the severity of Sydney's. With S3, him not being okay is making Sydney not be okay, this is something I was concerned about in S2 with all the parallels, while some are sweet/romantic, others like the throwing up, the ticket machine and now the panic attacks, are too largely negative to be overlooked.
Saying that Sydney is becoming Carmen is not a stance I agree with (or want to believe), but for the show so far he's been giving her more problems, more stress and not enough care, respect, love to make up for it. Sydney has a flaw of not being vulnerable and expressing herself. It affects herself and her relationships with others, but not to the point where they're worse of. Carmen's flaws are negatively affecting Sydney's health, while despite her flaws, Sydney's strengths positively affect Carmen without fail. See where the problem is? Sydney has nothing to gain (and so far, has gained nothing substantial) from being around Carmen in any capacity, while Carmen has continued to benefit from her presence.
Again, it's kind of hard to root for them when romance involves people who compliment each other, make each other better. "You make me better at this." This is certainly true for Carmen, but Sydney? I don't see how this has been illustrated, or at most to a significant extend to where the negative aspects of their dynamic are out trumped. (Sidenote: At least Claire was getting lovingly touched and getting fucked by Carmen while Sydney was building up their dream restaurant alone. That's some nasty work.)
Sydney Deserves a Changed Carmen, Not a Struggling One Or a different love interest altogether. (Luca, where are you at? My condolences to the sydmarcus crowd, they really burned your ship in S2 then let it sink in S3.)
This connects to my very first point, but I don't think there will be enough time for Carmen to improve to be the man Sydney deserves. He also has yet to suffer the consequences for how he's treating Sydney. So far he has suffered at his own mind and trauma, but that's not enough for me. He has yet to pay his dues when it comes to Sydney, so the the idea that she will stay with him and The Bear and wait around for him to be and do better when she's been doing that three seasons straight doesn't sit right with me.
Like Sydney's gone through all that she's gone through (mostly due to Carmen) only for Carmen to be what she gets at the end? Eh, no thanks. (Especially if Sydney doesn't get loved up and taken care of by someone deserving, succeed professionally and win in general.)
Subtext, Glorious Subtext Last one. Whoop whoop! Being a sydcarmy has made watching this show so much better.
However, I can't be the only one who at times is getting tired of hyperfixating on subtext only for it to amount to nothing.
But, I have a few observations myself. I don't want Sydney to stay with Carmen/at the bear, I want her to leave. I have a feeling she won't but:
-In S3 EP5, when Sydney asked Carmen if he knew if Ever was special when he was there and I think he said he didn't, but Sydney said it was good he got to experience it.
-The only noteworthy Claire scene where she talks about the girl who fell into a glass table and laughed after the surgery, and Claire said she thinks the wounds didn't hurt yet. (And the scar on Carmen's hand. Is that from the pilot S1 episode when he grabbed the pan?)
-When it's revealed Terry is closing Ever, Richie presumes the reason is because she's depressed, but it's revealed she just didn't want to do it any more.
-The ever chef told Sydney if it wasn't for Terry closing he'd probably be there forever.
With these moments I like to think Sydney's arc is learning to move on, to not make "everything the thing". Carmen is the one who needs to stay at the bear, in one place and work on becoming himself with where he's at.
I may add onto this later, if you've read this far thank you, and I hope it was interesting. Links below are my rants on S3 and sydcarmy. Pretty sure you could decode the five stages of grief in them- I'm so dramatic lol.
This This And this
#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#it's just a tv show#the bear hulu#luca the bear#marcus the bear#claire the bear#I still appreciate you all if that wasn't clear#I actually may just wait to be spoiled when s4 comes out though#I don't watch a lot of tv#so when I get into a show I really get into a show
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watching the valeria interrogation again and when alejandro says, “you disgrace the army”, rudy steps forward but when alejandro looks over his shoulder at him and says, “and your brothers, no?” he steps back again, almost like he’s trying to pull himself out of the conversation
alejandro leans in close to her and rudy reacts like he wants to pull him away, to protect him from her and from her words, but when he brings up that valeria hurt him too, betrayed him too, rudy retreats like he doesn't want to be reminded of it
it's alejandro who keeps valeria talking about the past, who prompts her to say more when simply saying she's ex-military would've been enough. they bait each other, valeria far more successfully than alejandro; she’s essentially running the interrogation
this speaks volumes of rudy’s interjection of, “he (the son of la areña) was supposed to go to prison”. he’s getting short; cutting off valeria and her excuses, not to redirect them back to the point of the interrogation but bc he’s done with her. rudy’s terser with her, more obviously angry, than he is with an actual terrorist
alejandro can't get past their history; let's himself get pulled off track and compromised but not be he's more upset than rudy. rudy has just repressed the hell out of it; if he doesn't think about it then it didn't happen
but now, he's suddenly being confronted with it head on
"you disgrace the army," is generalised; valeria didn't just hurt rudy, she hurt all of them. it's easier to take
"and your brothers," calls rudy out directly for his pain; pain alejandro wants retribution for and he doesn't want to face it, doesn't want to admit to it bc he doesn’t want to have to feel it
#what up its analysis of micro expressions and blurry body language time#deadass rudy is completely out of focus and in the background and im still like i can make something out of this#if i never believed all three of them were together before i sure as hell do now#ive said before that rudy has a slow anger and a very interesting personality#alejandro brings him alone to take down a terrorist and an unknown number of hostiles#he then sends him ahead (again by himself) to clear the target building and secure the target#so hes clearly a highly competent soldier#this then implies when rudy plans to storm the black site prison hes not being entirely rash#hes not just trying to go on a suicide mission he genuinely thinks he’ll be able to do it successfully and free los vaqueros#rudy can clearly compartmentalise#hes been betrayed all of his people have been detained he doesnt know where his best friend is#yet hes completely calm and levelheaded#he demeanour only changes when wails on a shadow and when he says ‘he was supposed to go to prison’ and that makes me insane#hes angerier with valeria and who she was to him than to Actual Terrorist#god i love rudy#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#alerudy#rodolfo parra#rudy parra#rudy cod#alejandro vargas#alejandro cod#valeria garza#valeria cod#cod mw2#modern warefare ii#alejandro/valeria#talk meta to me#save post
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