#but it seemed like i wasnt gonna do it lol
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i love when whumpees have nightmares that are so vivid and feel so long and real that when they wake up they can't help but just lay in their bed feeling the huge amounts of relief that none of it was real
#my nightmares dont make any sense but they feel so real#like are they realistic situations that could happen to me? absolutely not but i absolutely do think they're real til i wake up#idk if ive talked about this before but one time i had a dream i got manipulated into believing i was terminally ill#and in the dream i was fully convinced i was gonna die very soon#and then it turned out to be a whole plot to try to make me psychologically vulnerable enough to be convinced to poison and kill my sister#if youre wondering whether or not i went through with it: idk bc i woke up right after that was revealed#but it seemed like i wasnt gonna do it lol#why are my tags longer than my prompts#whump#whump prompt#whump prompts#whump writing#whump idea#whump blog#whump scenario#tw whump#whump tw#writing
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just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol
#more respectful funnier more loving more fun in a lot of ways#getting lectured by ppl years younger than me abt why posting shit without credit is ok when its like#all the best and most fun fandom spaces are dying#ppl are growing up sure but all these ppl are like 'i used to make gifs so heres why ur wrong' and its like#oh you USED to? well whyd u stop ? bc the effort level wasnt worth it just to be#saved and reposted w ill intent or not get any interaction like its so#everything is abt a race for interaction on the dumbest n most unoriginal jokes#its extremely frustrating to try to justify spendinf any time doing anything online anymore when ppl are so fcuking flippant like its crazy#'heres a shitty unsized n uncoloref gif i ran through some website and IM okay w ppl reposting' like lol#anyway when giffing dies itll be a sad fuckinf day to me jfkd truly a useless skill#but that means everyone still doing it is doing it for the love of the game or#the love of archival work and it makes ppl beinf so fuckinf disrespectful#or going to bat for nonsense seem so absurd to me like#really . really. if u have an option to share where it originally came from with one less click#ur gonna choose NOT to do that and instead repost just to insinuate the person who made it did it to insult someknes appearance#like. its just so.#fandom is dying and its so sad and etiquette is nowhere to be found so NXKKD gratefuo for the ppl gere#and sorry for the rant#none of thise matters but ive had an abundance of free time the past few says so ive been STEWING#mostly just want to say i love u all NDKKS and even if ive complained abt interaction its mostly just tbing website dying more than anything#which. is so sad lol#but i love everyone still here
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We're currently switch my cat's food and litter to try to figure out what's causing this weird mystery allergy she's had for the last like 5 years and I was kinda worried she wouldn't like the new food bcs you never know, but actually she likes it so much it's actually ridiculous. Cuz like when you switch a cat(or dog's) food you have to taper it like a medication, you keep giving them the old food but slowly mix in more and more of the new food while mixing in less of the old, cuz if you don't you can make them sick, and she is SO SO SO mad that I keep giving her ANY of the old food.
Whenever I go to fill up her bowl I first add in the old food and then mix in the new, and while she used to just immediately start eating when I'd pour her food now she just watches me do the first one, sniffs the bowl, and then sits back and stares at me like "uh mother it appears there's been an error" and then when I reach for the other food she looses her MIND and starts shoving her face in my way and meowing and getting all excited and she only starts eating once it's mixed in.
So like, glad she enjoys the new stuff at least!
#also it looks like her allergy is improving a lot but we're pretty sure it wasnt the food lol#bcs we switched the litter and she IMMEDIATELY improved a bunch#but we still dont think we've found the righ one bcs this one still is a powder kinda and it kicks up dust#and she does still sneeze and scratch her ears more than she should#so we're gonna try this pellet stuff next and see if it works#and I guess we can keep getting her the new food too bcs she really seems to like it lmaoooo#I do hope this is it tho bcs the vet told us we could try this hypoallergenic special prescription cat food#AND BY GOD IS THAT SHIT EXPENSIVE HOLY FUCK#like we could afford it if we really stretched things but only barely#so fingers fucking crossed this fixes it!!!!
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sent THREE super long / important assignments due next week today maybe spending days inside working on them was worth it
#im gonna cry/pos it feels like a bus ran me over but whatever#so exasperated working on them but whatever#i only have like 5 more for next week and the next one and half of my thesis for january well#no holidays for me this year it seems#BUT WHATEVER I JUST SENT THREE IN A DAY#lets cheer and idk maybe watch a naruto episode#< lies im gonna do another two (the shortest ones)#also yesterday i did my first professional real interpreting in an important event whatever whatever (guy whos showing off right now)#i wore a suit and everything#it wasnt so great honestly#my tutor was super happy with it tho#i was so proud that i convinced myself of getting a PhD (< hasnt graduated yet nor done a masters degree lol)#today me disagrees with that but then again whatever#gotta keep the url alive for a few more years#academia posting#hell is university
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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sourdough is so beautiful and also I truly feel like a parent or maybe like I've brought home a puppy. this morning when I fed her she was all bubbly and smelled so good and sour and the delight I felt was honestly WAY beyond proportion for. a sourdough starter
#right now I've been keeping her pretty small#I discard so there's 30 grams in the jar and then feed#just to not waste flour while she's too baby to do anything with#was a little scared it'd like. make her run out of food too soon but she seems to be doing really well#went 24 hours without feeding (forgot last night lol) and i kinda feel like it was the right amount of time#she wasnt getting that weird liquid or anything#anyway. im gonna start just frying the starter discard in a pan as a little snack. now that shes gettin bubbly and nice#couldnt do that this morning though bc when i fed her i was already full on the 3 cinnamon buns i had for breakfast lmao#z talks#not horse game
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im happy to announce that my back does not hurt like it used to anymore. dare i say it even doesnt hurt at all anymore
#i seem to be more flexible now too? like more flexible than i have been for like. the past few years#like i can actually twist around to crack my back#i normally can barely twist my back before im in pain#cracking my back is 1. possible again and 2. actually feels good instead of feeling like im ripping my body apart lol#which is so fucking wild bc i expected my big ass fuckin round trip road trip upstate was gonna fuck my body up even more#everyone at my job was concerned about my back and i was like naur i'll go to the doctor after the eclipse trip#i dont want them telling me to not sit in a car for hours on end bc then i'll feel guilty for doing this#i want plausible deniability.. i'll go to the doctor AFTER the trip#but then i noticed halfway through the trip that actually i wasnt even in pain anymore#and now today i noticed how flexible i am suddenly#like what ?!??!?!#where did this improvement come from and why did it happen AFTER the event i thought would make it worse#brot posts#anyway bye im sick of being on tumblr again i miss only posting like once a day. i need to stop posting again i hate posting
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making friends is so exhausting
#every person ive met has had ulterior motives#or was just a really nasty person#the decent ppl ive kept in my life barely hmu#i dont even think i can count them as friends at this point lol#gave up making plans with them since they never wanna do shit with me#i dont wanna sound like a whiney baby but its really exhausting trying to make friends#when more than half the ppl i knew have betrayed me in really horrible ways#my so called best friend in 2019 confessed he had feelings for me#and when i told him i wasnt interested#he seemed to accept that#i found out later that he shit talked me to my other friends behind my back#and told them something personal that i didnt want any1 else knowing#he also said he wouldnt care if id kms so yeah#im just so sad because i want to make genuine connections with ppl!!!#i care and give so much love to those i trust#but i find out later theyre just using me bc im nice ):#i dont want to change and become cold hearted#i have lots of love and i always will#i guess its just gonna take time to find the right ppl
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self proclaimed witches today will rly be like. let me do a bunch of curses shady binding spells hexes and calls for harm onto others (who are random individuals who my online clients paid me to do this to) without any sort of even channeling of that into another being (animal sacrifice, symbolic sacrifice) or thinking to do anything to protect myself. hMm saying im powerful and life is all a balance is good enough. and let me teach this genious to others too
,,,,, you ever hear bout that what goes around comes around rule. do onto others as youd want done onto you. dont dish it if you cant take it. taking things seriously mayperhaps? actions have consequences perhaps. translate that into some sort of new age talk. oh wait. i forgot. new age talk doesnt understand the concept of actions have consequences
#outside of morality which isnt an issue i wanna get into#doing ~whichcraft for whatever short amount of time and then starting to do stuff like this seems like Such a good way to fuck yourself up#.......#so many too lol w the idea that theyre the ones who have power#nah lol. you are only a channeler of it. its not yours#......... LMAO hey remember when those internet witches tried to hex Allah and figured out really quick this is a horrible idea fhdkeiwk#... also yea i said i wasnt gonna get into morality but i cant imagine in my life ever taking money from random internet ppl to harm other#random ppl whose lives i know nothing of. dude im scared of even giving people the evil eye#much less this#......... i know technically how to curse. verbally. the good old traditional romanian way......#i try to stay far away from it#or when i do. its always for something that would bring some sort of aggravating daily annoyance not harm. like im petty abt it fjdke not#harmful#if i can go without cursing my father i dont need to curse anyone else
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Kpop it's so fucking lame it's just NSYNC but from Korea.
hot fucking take im gonna screenshot this and post it to twitter and youll get fucking Murdered
#🍯#ask#anon#wasnt expecting such vitriol#i dont listen to kpop#but i DO think that seems like a broad generalization#like#its korean pop#obvs its gonna be reminiscent of pop in other languages but#idk#again i havent ever listened to kpop#NO WAIT I LISTENED TO ONE SONG WHAT WAS IT CALLED#after way too long searching#villain by stella jang#i believe it falls under the umbrella of kpop#very much not nsync lol
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american wedding l ln4
summary: lando dating zak brown's daughter leads to a lot of pr disasters, like getting married in vegas
notes: can be read as a part two to boss' daughter or a stand alone
masterlist
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 38,329 others
yourusername wasnt gonna drink tonight but i miss my bf like a mf.
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user real tbh
user i miss u like a mf. show ur face at a race already queen.
user no cause it's been forever since she went to one and i miss the chaotic content with her and lando
user you know damn well you were gonna drink regardless liked by yourusername
landonorris i miss u more😓 just drop out of uni and come to all my races
zbrownceo excuse me?
landonorris JUST A JOKE! ha ha ha.
user LANDO😭😭
landonorris but i just booked a flight to nyc because of this post btw. see you this weekend😈
yourusername i was about to start crying until i realized what emoji you used😐
oscarpiastri dont we have be at the mtc this weekened??
yourusername SHHHH OSCAH
landonorris yeah oscar shhh
user poor oscar is always getting tag teammed by those two
user lando getting that in-law privilege by skipping important meetings to see his boss' daughter😭
user i love this relationship's dynamic theyre so perfect for each other
f1gossip
23,432 likes
f1gossip Lando and Y/n's Brown's weekend in New York City! It seems Lando skipped his trip to the MTC to be with his girlfriend where they were pictured clubbing and walking around the city multiple times.
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user IN THE CLURB WE ALL FAM
user he finally met his match lol
user lando is a clingy drunk confirmed✅
user i really want to know what their drunk conversations sound like
user hot take but if she wasnt zaks daughter most of you guys would hate her
user shes making him blow off important meetings so he could be with her? she sounds like a distraction from racing
user girl what- her dad is literally the ceo? if there was an issue im sure he wouldve let them know bffr
user zak brown is probably tired of these two😭
user is partying all they do together?
user no cause she lowkey seems like a bad influence
user i agree🫣 shes always posting herself partying and drinking, thats not wag material
user she might be a pr nightmare but i stand with my canceled wife💜
landonorris
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 820,429 others
landonorris nyc to vegas🛩 aaaand i brought the bad influence with
tagged yourusername
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user the caption IM-
user nah hes lowkey dissing y/n haters😭
user how did he bag someone 10x cooler than him
user the bottle of alcohol and the vape, she really is ready for vegas
user Y/N'S BACK!!!
yourusername vegas aint ready for us
landonorris no they arent😈
yourusername enough.
user no hate to the other wags but y/n is truly the realest one out of all of them
user fr she truly is just a normal girl in her twenties
oscarpiastri 🙂
yourusername what is that suppose that mean OSCAH!!! my father will hear of this
oscarpiastri ok calm down draco malfoy
user why is there lowkey beef between y/n and oscar LMFAO
yourusername he hates my swag!!!
oscarpiastri she brings a lotttt of energy to the garage when shes here🙂
user im crying at oscars response😭😭😭 hes had enough of yn and lando
user idk if her holding a bottle of alcohol is appropriate to post!
user pls grow up omg
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 59,329 others
yourusername postt race partoes >>>>>> the avtual race
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user THEE party girl
user i need to party with them so bad
user lando.jpg when???
user the typos😭 shes already drunk
user yup theres already videos of her and lando drunkly dancing together all over twitter
user yeah and oscar was in the background of those videos looking miserable LMFAOO
user oh to be a wag partying in vegas with lando
yourusername posted a story
user i voted fall to my knees and cry btw…if you even care
user um this is a random question to ask at 3am…
user what stores are even open rn😭😭
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oscarpiastri Y/N??? IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU AND LANDO FOR LIKE A HALF AN HOUR AT THE CLUB AND YOURE NOT EVEN HERE??
oscarpiastri if you guys dont pick up your phones i swear to god…
oscarpiastri of course i get stuck as babysitter to the two most drunk people at the party
yourusername heY oscah😊😊 sendingg u my lpcation now cuz we need a witness so come ASAPPPPPP
oscarpiastri WITNESS FOR WHAT?
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danielricciardo if this means what i think it means, youre both so dead🤣
user babes didnt u just post at the club like an hour ago
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 1,392,321 others
yourusername do u guys thonk my dad will be mad thaT oscar walked me down the aislee?
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user OH MY GOD??
user mclarens pr team are going to have a rude awakening in the morning😭
user shes never beating the bad influence allegations i fear
user crazy to think that this time last year he was flirting with her through her instagram comments😭
user and now theyre married omg i remember everyone was teasing lando but he truly got the last laugh
carlossainz55 i dont know if i should congralute you guys or be concerned?
user mind you, its almost four in the morning in vegas
danielricciardo getting married is crazy, you should be at the club
yourusername u mak a grrat point! otw now
mclaren we cannot congratulate until the boss says its okay sorry😕
zbrownceo answer your phone.
oscarpiastri sir, i would like it to be known that she blackmailed to be there
yourusername okay snitch!
zbrownceo im not kidding y/n
danielricciardo ouuu youre in trouble
user its so over for them
user zak finally putting his foot down with these two LMFAO
f1gossip
25,532 likes
f1gossip Wedding celebrations at the club! Seems like the newlyweds are back partying after their wedding announcement was made just a few minutes ago. Congrats to them?
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user everyone is freaking out and theyre literally at the club im cryingg
user "congrats to them?" is literally all of us rn😭
user they are not real omg
user zak is probably blowing up their phones and they do not care at all lmfaooo
user truly winning the idgaf war
user real question is are they getting an annulment once they sober up???
user i really wanna know what zak will make them do
f1gossip
20,329 likes
f1gossip Newly weds update! The two were seen this afternoon leaving Las Vegas with Zak Brown himself. Neither were seen wearing wedding rings, possible divorce?
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user well that was fun while it lasted
user damn they beat kim kardashians record of the shortest marriage
user at least theyre still dating😭
user they definitely got yelled at lmfaoo
user cant tell if zak is happy or angry that his daughter married norris considering how much he loves him
user oh hes def happy about it but not happy they posted it LOL
user good for him for getting an annulment. shes a mess
user and hes not? bye theyre both messy
landonorris 📍qatar
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,424,232 others
landonorris annulment? we're in our honeymoon
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user oh so theyre fr about this marriage😭
user does bro know theres a race on sunday
user they look so in love im honestly really happy for them
yourusername we beat the fraud marriage allegations💜
mclaren now thats its been approved by the boss, congratulations to the best papaya couple theres ever been🧡
user wow so zak approves! im shocked tbh
user i wish i couldve seen their reactions the morning after the wedding
yourusername ohhh we didnt remember any of it tbh but were happy now!
user LMFAO OMG....
user she finally got her ring!! and here you guys were thinking they got a divorce bc she didnt have one
danielricciardo never thought id see the day
yourusername me neither tbh
landonorris excuse me WHAT
landoupdates
50,242 likes
landoupdates Lando was questioned on his Vegas wedding in new interview.
"We decided not to get any annulment or anything and just keep this Vegas marriage as sort of like a promise for a real one in the future." 🧡
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user omg😭😭they are too cute
user not to be dramatic but i would honestly cried if they broke up
user no literally they mean everything to me
user "i really do think y/n is the one" DO YOU HEAR ME SOBBING
user he gets so smiley when y/n is brought up ughhh me and WHO
user and to think y/n has haters is crazyyy this man is so in love with her
user if oscar isnt the best man ill riot for him, he was there for the og wedding
user imagining them trying to convince zak to not get a divorce is the cutest but funniest thing ever
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more notes: has anyone seen anora?? it inspired this haha A FRAUD MARRIAGE!!!
#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#ln4#f1 fanfic
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im so // lucky // my life was such a mess that i confused confort with falling in love
#biggest blessing was realizing i didnt actually liked L.#and dont get me wrong i was starting to fall for him#its just that july was so fucking confusing and exausting and filled with uncertainty#and he was one of the ONLY things that were good in my life#that i mistook it for falling in love#im still pissed that he broke up with me in the way that he did. it was not very adult and it just seem like there was more that he was#not telling me. which made me angry.#and i found out that he had said before to another friend of mine that he wasnt going to date any more white girls and that kinda#idk#it just stinks a bit#cuz why should that matter anyways.#but yeah.#glad it wasnt love fr.#and im doing very fine indeed lol#i am however going to maybe just continue to do what i said i was gonna do after the heartbreak i had#which was if someone shows interest in hooking up thats fine but protect your heart#and i dont mean i wont open myself to love (i actually wanted to give it a chance with him but lol it didnt work ig)#but like. not gonna jump into any love bombing and delusions.#idk just seems like the right thing to do ig?#also i just have a shiton of stuff to work thru and figure it out about myself#maybe thats the best thing to do rn?
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I salute to you and thank you for your service 🫡😔
u guys weren’t there in 2018 fighting the atreus annoying and useless allegations like i was. i was on the front lines
#(long rant ahead) i wasnt but i can imagine how terrible it first was#then it got worse for those sticking around since 2018 with rag coming out UGH#atreus/angrboda fans will always have to be battling it seems 😔#I lurk a bit so ive seen older reactions to him and im just like man! who knew an 11 yr old is 11!#idk being a new fan i have a completely different outlook on everything so i dont hold the same contempt as others do#alot of this “fandom” intentionally ignores things bc they dont care and thats fine or whatever but if u dont care for anything or anyone#outside of kratos why are u around 😭😭#Like we are no longer there anymore bro he has a home with family thats alive and thriving#The extreme negativity is one of the reasons why i was hesitant to be here in the first place#Not the first fandom and probably not the last im associated with but this one i think is the first one where i genuinely feel everyone#is miserable with EVERYTHING.#Matter of fact i dont even consider myself part of the fandom LOL#Im just here enjoying what i enjoy#It really sucks liking a character(s) thats almost universally hated for some(dumb) reason#Like… everyone is just negative and i see that even on twitter to the point i just have to mute/block ppl.#I dont tend to care (or try not to care) abt things like this but i dont think ppl realize being in that state can leak into#Smth you dont want. Yes not everything is glitters and butterflies but to stay in that negative mindset is just crazy to me.#ESPECIALLY over a fucking VIDEOGAME CHARACTER like girl bye😭😭😭#I have my own gripes with my other fave games and fandoms i been in but this fandom takes the cake of being a drag#Sms taking a lot of risks and continue trying with atreus gives me hope for him and angie. Idk what theyll do with them#From here on out but they realize no matter what they do its gonna get some level of hate.#I dont even know if ill like their characterization next game either but with what ive seen so far i think they are in good hands.#Im sorry for the really long rant you guys i just needed to say this LOL#When it comes to atreus/angrboda i get a bit passionate but also since sunny/laya are around my age and knowing how gamers are#Its just really aggravating seeing shit like this#Not to say i cant get crazy myself (cuz i can im ngl) but alot of times i just have to take a step back and BREATHE.#Theres a small change ive seen with the hate towards them (ppl have been getting kinda annoyed with it since thats all they talk abt)#But collectively i hope one day ppl genuinely like them. Not out of pity or anything either. But bc they enjoy their characters :)#Im manifesting that it will happen LOL#manifesting all good things towards atreus/angrboda🕯️🕯️🕯️
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also i think i had a hot flash on friday??? idk i was just getting REALLY hot and was having to pull down my mask and mouth breathe just trying to cool down so i didn't throw up, had to steal one of the lab chairs as soon as it was vacated, and was sitting there helping check-in samples really tiredly and when i asked if it was hot one of my coworkers said 'no???' and then said that my face was really flushed, but then i felt better after standing outside in my t-shirt for a while (in the 50s I think) and just kind of cooling off, then wandered around naked in my apartment for a while and then i felt fine so like. hm. interesting experience but i hope i don't repeat it lol
#we were lowkey worried i was getting sick again lol#(me being me and my coworker)#which would have been painfully ironic bc we had a little department luncheon#(it was pizza and ice cream not fancy lol)#and i had literally commented that if i got sick again#(since i came down with covid after having 2 of these get togethers in a week)#i was never attending one of these again and was just gonna be eating alone for the rest of time from now on#like no im not eating in close proximity to you people again lol#but thankfully it seems to have just been a weird fluke#idk i wasnt doing anything strenuous so i dont know what could have peaked my temp like that#-shrug- im just gonna mark it down as another thing to blame on covid lol#for want of any other ideas
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⚠️nsfw/mdni⚠️
The parts of your body that you hated the most after having babies, Toji was obsessed with.
That tummy that just wont seem to go away no matter what you do? Toji couldnt keep his hands off of it. When he hugs your from behind, thats the first part of you he touches, smoothing his wide hand over it possessively and pulling your ass back against his crotch while he kisses your lips.
Your breasts that have seen better days due to breast feeding and the constant inflate/deflate that happens every pregnancy? Couldnt keep Toji’s mouth off of em. He was most definitely the baby daddy begging for a sip straight from you when you detached your breast pump. Just the sight of milk dribbling from your swollen nipple did things to him that he couldnt explain. When you had sex, you sometimes felt self conscious of them since they were no longer as perky as they were when you and Toji first started dating. It wasnt a big deal when Toji was on top of you but when you were riding him, you sometimes couldnt help but keep your hands on them to hinder their movement with every rock of your hips. Sometimes you didnt even take your bra off (which didnt last long with Toji) but that man didnt give a fuck about any of that.
The love of his life, the mother of his fucking kids, and true leader of the household was in his face with her tiddies out. Tiddies that kept his babies fed, fat, and healthy until they were weened. He was gonna show them all of the love and appreciate they deserved every damn chance he got. His mouth is latched to you, licking ans sucking your nipples like his life depnesed on it. If you were lactating, he’d pull back and express milk with his hand, and sticking his tongue out to catch the streams of sweet milk in his mouth with a depraved groan. They were big and heavy in his hands, but Toji showed not a care when he held them while you bounced on his dick, telling you how fucking perfect ans sexy you are. How hard you make him and how he could nut in you just like this if you kept riding him like that.
Apart fron that, Toji is kissing very stretch mark, every scar, every bit of hyperpigmentation, every blemish. He loves your body through every phase and he’ll be damned if he ever lets you forget that.
Do with that what you will..
A/N: yall dont even know how much baby daddy*husband toji/family man toji/dad to shit i have in my drafts that i cant drop yet. Im tryna establish a timeline and its taking a while cuz i gotta be an adult lol Soon tho. Hopefully lmao
#toji thoughts#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#jjk#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x black reader#anime#toji fanfic#toji zenin#toji x reader#jjk fanfic#jujutsu toji
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Gold Rush
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Summary: in which (fem!)reader is in love with Mattheo, but so is everyone else. Reader pushes her feelings deep down, convinced Mattheo, beautiful Mattheo could never love her. In doing so, hurting herself, and a certain curly haired boy.
3,014 words
Warnings: cursing, fighting, slight mention of sexual content, reader being self-conscious, Mattheo being an idiot, Mattheo and his big ego, angst, potentially more parts(???), not proofread bc I don’t have time, a few references to movies IF YOU SQUINT, possibly ooc Mattheo (I haven’t read Everything Black in a hot minute forgive me), use of Y/n, Tom Riddle is Mattheo’s father in this, Regulus is in fact dead (rip my man), Mattheo and reader being a bitch lol, in character-ish Enzo but not headcannon Enzo, THEO IS IN THE SLUG CLUB FOR THE PLOT IM AWARE THAT HE WASNT IN THE BOOKS
2nd person pov
Hufflepuff prefect reader
Female reader
Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters. So inviting, I almost jump in.
Your eyes are trained on the dark haired boy, specifically those deep eyes. “I know I’m pretty, you don’t have to stare, love.” Mattheo grins, you quickly dart your eyes away, “I wasn’t staring.” you murmur. He scoots his chair back, the feet scraping against the old library floor, he stands up and walks towards you— not even bothering to push the bloody chair back in. He takes a seat right next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder, “You really should be studying, y’know? Can’t have m’girl failing her exams.” My girl. You roll your eyes. “I’m immune to your charms, Riddle.” You say, almost as if you were trying to convince yourself of that. “Are you, though? I mean, remember in first year when you—“ you quickly cut him off, a foreign red flush invading your cheeks. “I was eleven!” You whisper-yell, his grin widens at your embarrassment. “Okay.” He drags the word out, “Some things never change, badger.” You furrow your eyebrows “Excuse me?” “Y’know? Badger, you’re a Hufflepuff, unless you’re shagging Diggory and stole his tie.” He gestures to your yellow tie, you roll your eyes. “First of all, Cedric is taken and if you call me badger again, I will ruin your pretty face.” “You think I’m pretty?” Another eye roll. “If you keep rolling your eyes at me, they’re gonna get stuck back there.” Before you can reply, a girl you recognize as a Slytherin fifth year, only younger than you by a year, calls for the boy sitting in front of you. “Mattheo! I don’t have all day, c’mon.” He looks back at the blonde girl and sighs, “Merlin’s beard,” he murmurs, then calls out to her “I’m coming Eloise!” Causing you to let out a laugh. He gives you a look, making you laugh even harder. But once he walks away, you realize that he, Mattheo Riddle, is probably hooking up with that girl, that absolute model, making your smile fade. Making you feel like an idiot for even thinking that he’d like you. For thinking you should inflate his ego even further by confessing.
But I don’t like a gold rush, gold rush. I don’t like anticipating my face in a red flush. Everybody wants you. Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.
-
You clutch your books close to your chest, dodging the hundreds of children rushing to get to class. Like every other day. A paper airplane comes straight toward you, it’s about to hit you clean in the forehead, you duck just in time— but a hand reaches out and catches it. You look over to thank the person, it’s Mattheo. Of course it’s Mattheo. That damned boy never leaves you alone. “You alright?” He asks, seeming genuinely concerned. Of course he does. He always does. “I’m fine, Riddle.” You spit out, fighting back your horrid feelings. He tries to speak but you just walk toward the potions classroom.
Walk past, quick brush. I don’t like slow motion double vision in a rose blush.
-
You sigh as you walk into the lavatory. Standing in front of the sink, you splash your face with some water. Trying to cool yourself down. “Y/n?” Fucking Mattheo. “I really don’t have time for your bullshit, what are you even doing in the girls la—“ you cut yourself off as you see Mattheo, a girl against the wall, not Eloise, a different girl. An older girl, a seventh year. Looking annoyed as ever. You let out a breath of surprise. Shaking your head you turn back around and walk out of the bathroom. Feeling like an idiot. Like always when it comes to that boy.
I don’t like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush. Everybody wants you. But I don’t like a gold rush.
“Wait! Y/n—“ he rushes out of the bathroom to follow you, he grabs your wrist and you turn around quickly. “Let go.” You spit out, he tenses his jaw. “Why are you even acting like this? You don’t need to get so pissed just because you’re jea—“ Slap. Your eyes widen, as well as his, “Did you just slap me?” “No.” you reply quickly. “You just slapped me.” he persists, “No I didn’t.” “Yea, you did.” “Yes I did.” you finally admit. “Why?” He asks, “You said I’m jealous, I’m not jealous. You just have a big head.” “I have other big things.” You slap him again. But this time on his forearm. And, oh Merlin. Why is his arm so muscular? Why are his eyes so deep and brown and beautiful? Why do his oh so pretty brown curls look so pull-able? Why do his lips look so perfect and kissable? Was he always this beautiful? Of course he was. He was always beautiful. You’ve known that since the first time you saw him.
What must it be like, to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominos.
-
You walk into the Slytherin common room with Dorothea, one of your closest friends, she’d convinced you to come to this party. And you’d stupidly agreed. You stupidly got drunk. You stupidly found Mattheo. You stupidly kissed him. You stupidly hooked up with him.
You look around the room, Mattheo has his arm under your neck. “Okay,” you whisper to yourself “yeah, okay. I can get out of here.” You roll over a bit, pulling the covers off of yourself carefully. You easily get out of his warm, soft bed. An odd coldness filling your body as you do so. You slip on your shoes and realize that you don’t have your shirt on, you look around his room, which is surprisingly clean— minus the clothes everywhere, on the doorknob, there’s your shirt. How did it even get there? You shake your head and walk over to it, putting it on over you. You hear Mattheo groan and you quickly look over, he’s still asleep, but reaching out in the bed, as if looking for you. It takes you a moment before you realize that you need to leave before him and his charm pull you back in.
I see me padding ‘cross, your wooden floors. With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door.
-
It’s been 3 weeks. 3 weeks since you went to that party. 3 weeks since you found Mattheo. 3 weeks since you kissed him. 3 weeks since you hooked up with him. 2 weeks and 6 days since you woke up in his room and mission impossible escaped. You haven’t spoke to him, or anyone in Slytherin at all. In fear that he told everyone he knows and you’d never live it down. He didn’t. But you don’t know that. You’re choosing out a dress for dinner, you’re in the slug club, but so is Theodore Nott and those two are friends, best friends even. So of course Mattheo was the boys plus one. No matter that. Dorothea suggests a simple dress that shows off your body, but you shake your head, “No, Dor, that— that doesn’t compliment me right.” So you choose a dress that goes down to your knees, it’s long-sleeved, completely covers your cleavage, which was the goal of course. You paired it with some old converse, not liking the feeling of heels on your feet all night. You have your hair done nicely in your favorite style.
“No Mattheo, I really don’t agree with that, you’re so— so contrarian.” You shake your head, “Oh give me a break!” He groans, but you just give him a look, calling him an asshole with your eyes. He’s just told you an opinion on the muggle-world, he’s a pure blood, seriously, who does he think he is? Giggles can be heard from others sitting around you, including Dorothea and Theodore who are sitting next to each other. Slughorn tries to get you two to stop, “O—okay, Mr. Riddle, Ms. Y/l/n, please refrain from arguments at the table.” “This isn’t an argument, it’s a debate.” You correct.
As you’re walking back to your common room, you overhear some girls talking “Oh, wouldn’t they be such a cute couple?” One of them giggles, the other nods in agreement “They argue so much, plus, doesn’t Y/n Riddle sound so nice?” “Oh I dunno, I’m kind of jealous of her.” A third one adds. Your eyes widen as you realize they’re taking about you and Mattheo. You quickly butt in their conversation, “We would not be a cute couple! He’s insufferable and his ego is larger than himself!” You huff.
At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit. And the coastal town, we wandered ‘round, had never seen a love as pure as it.
-
“You know that you can’t avoid him all day, right?” Cedric tells you as he notices you staring in Mattheo’s direction in the Great Hall. “I can and I will.” The boy rolls his eyes, “C’mon, when me and Cho get into—“ “Don’t compare you and your girlfriend to me and Mattheo— that’s just.. no!” you mock gag, shaking your head. Cedric just grins at you knowingly, “Why are you smiling at me like that?” you ask, Cedric licks his lips “No reason.” “Shouldn’t you be making out with Cho in a broom closet or something?” you tease, he laughs “Yeah, probably. Shouldn’t you be getting in Mattheo’s pants again?” “Leave it Ced, it will never be.” You murmur as you look down at your tea, mixing it around lazily with your spoon.
And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea. ‘Cause you know it could never be.
-
“Why are you avoiding me?” You stop dead in your tracks, goddamnit. Why is he everywhere? You slowly turn around on your heels, face reddening, “I’m not avoiding you.” you reply simply with a shrug. “Yes you are, I’m sick of it.” He rolls his eyes. “What’s it matter to you? We aren’t friends.” “What are you talking about? Yes we are.” “No, we’re really not Mattheo, you only talk to me when you know I’m going to leave.” You spit out, annoyed with everything, “No I don’t! I talk to you all the—“ you cut him off “Just leave it, I’m done here anyway.” You say before turning back around and walking away, “Well— don’t come crying back to me when you realize no one else cares!” He yells, letting his emotions and large ego get the best of him. “Fuck you!” “You’ve already checked that one off!”
‘Cause I don’t like a gold rush, gold rush. I don’t like anticipating my face in a red flush. I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch. Everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.
-
He is such an asshole! Who the fuck does he think he is?! He has no right to speak to you— or anyone for that matter — like that. You huff as you walk into the Great Hall, feeling his gaze immediately land on you. But you won’t give him the satisfaction of meeting that gaze. Taking a seat at your own houses table, you can hear his friends laughing loudly, stupid boys. The only time you do look over at him is when you hear his fork slam against the table and he stands up from his seat, to be fair, the entire Great Hall looks over at him. He ignores his friends and clenches his jaw as he walks out of the huge room, brushing right past you and leaving a small gust of wind from where he walked. Your lips slightly part as you watch him, but you look away just as quickly. Refusing to let him get his way. You shake your head as you now look over at his friends — who you now realize are staring over at you. Furrowing your eyebrows you mouth an annoyed “What?” to them, hoping to get any explanation. Theodore just shakes his head at you, and Lorenzo Berkshire mouths back a “Nothing.” making you even more annoyed with these boys. You decide to take matters into your own hands and stand up, making your way to the Slytherin table where they’re sitting. “Hello, boys.” you raise your eyebrows expectantly. “Uh — hey..” Blaise Zabini murmurs, “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on with that dickhead who just walked out of the Great Hall making a scene?” Draco Malfoy laughs at that “Dickhead? Did you just call your little boyfriend a dickhead?” “He’s not my boyfriend Malfoy!” you exclaim which causes Draco to laugh and Theo to nudge his arm, Enzo speaks up “Um, Y/n he’s just upset you’re ignoring him.” now the rest of the boys groan, collectively murmuring little “C’mon man!”’s and “Enzo!”’s he throws his hands up in apology. Eyebrows going up you look at them, “Seriously?” you scoff “he’s mad at me because I’m not talking to him? After what he did?”
Walk past, quick brush. I don’t like slow motion double vision in a rose blush. I don’t like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush.
“Why don’t you just make it easy for him and tell him how you feel?” Theo speaks up with a shrug. “Excuse me? And how exactly do I feel Theodore?” you ask, twisting toward him. “You want him, obviously.” “Everybody wants him! I don’t — I don’t like that horrid feeling!” you exclaim loudly, catching the attention of others around you.
Everybody wants you, but I don’t like a gold rush.
Lowering your voice, you rest your hands on the table, pushing Blaise’s plate away to do so. He stops in the middle of his chewing to give you a glare, then continues slowly chewing. “You’ve liked him since fist year, admit it.” Blaise speaks with his mouth full, so it’s a bit muffled. “Shut it and eat your potatoes Zabini.” you spit out. He shrugs and does just that. With Zabini out of the conversation Draco speaks again, “But really, stop leading our boy on.” “I haven’t led him — or anyone for that matter — on!” now it’s Theo’s turn to speak “Well.. you did kinda sleep with him and then leave the next morning,” “That was a mistake.” “Still shitty.” Enzo says. You huff, “That’s — no! Even if it was shitty, it’s not like I’m in love with him. He shouldn’t’ve expected anything from me.” Draco raises an eyebrow “Wow, didn’t know Hufflepuffs were such—“ “Dude, don’t finish that sentence.” Enzo says with an eye roll before looking toward you, “If you don’t like him, then don’t lead him on, it’s not difficult.” Looking him up at down for a moment, you sigh and your eyes move around the group at a quick pace. “Tell him I don’t like him, and — that I’m sorry or whatever.” Damn. That hurt you to say. Who knew it’d be this hard to get over him.
What must it be like, to grow up that beautiful, with your hair falling into place like dominoes?
-
As you lay in your bed, miserable and alone, you think about Mattheo. Because of course you do. He’s plagued your mind since first year. Rolling your eyes, you silently curse yourself for not realizing how horrible it was to fall for him. He’s got the perfect life, minus the fact his father is literally the dark lord, still, he’s rich. He has hundreds of girls in love with him and multiple in his bed. You aren’t going to be any of those girls, not now at least.
My mind turns your life into folklore. I can’t dare to dream about you anymore.
-
You hear your name called out by a familiar voice, Pansy Parkinson, her loud — but not angry — footsteps reverberate along the stone walls of the castle. You stop walking just as she catches up to you, out of breath. She reaches for your shoulder to steady herself and you grab her arm to help her. “What’s wrong Pans?” You ask once she catches her breath. “Riddle told me about what you said.” You wince at the mention, “Oh.” She must notice the look on your face since she adds a quick, “Don’t worry, I’m not mad, that boy needs to learn that not every girl is in love with him.” As an afterthought. “Never mind that, you are,” you furrow your eyebrows “—in love with him. You’re in love with him.” She finishes, which causes you to stammer out a quick and defensive, “Am not!” In response. “You literally gave him a bouquet of flowers, which you handpicked, in first year.” “In first year! Yeah, but that’s not now!” She rolls her eyes, “Come on Y/n/n, you’re just going to end up hurting yourself if you keep saying that.” She then removes her hand from your shoulder and you do the same, “Okay, I’ve got detention now, see ya later.” Then she runs off. She literally runs off after telling you that you’re in love with Mattheo Riddle. As if you didn’t know that. As if you didn’t sleep with him.
I see me padding ‘cross your wooden floors. With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door.
-
The last slug club meeting of the year before you leave for Christmas. You aren’t supposed to bring plus-ones, but Slughorn likes Theo too much and let him bring Mattheo. You sit slumped in your chair, dressed nicely though. Dorothea is sick so she couldn’t come. And Mattheo has the audacity to sit right fucking next to you. Purposely making those contrarian remarks, to get you to speak, so he can hear your voice again. Annoyed or not, he wants to hear it. But you don’t. You just stand up and move to sit beside Theo. Mattheo swallows and stops talking, looking down at his food.
At dinner parties, won’t call you out on your contrarian shit.
-
You sit by a garden in Hogsmeade, looking at the flowers silently. Of course, thinking about those girls from a few weeks ago at the Slug club meeting, how they were talking about you and Mattheo. Did everyone think that way? That’s impossible, he’s him, you’re just you. You barely know jack shit about each other. Sighing, you lay back in the grass and fiddle with the strings on your cardigan. It will never be.
And the coastal town, we never found, will never see a love as pure as it. ‘Cause it fades into the gray of my day old tea. ‘Cause it will never be.
-
He stands at your doorframe, knocking on the door rapidly. Hearing you groan on the other side and sheets ruffling. He quickly tries to fix up his messy curls and look at least a hit presentable, you open the door as he’s smoothing out his shirt, he’s in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and you’re — well —in your pink unicorn pajama set, that causes him to grin widely. But then he hears your voice murmur a sleepy “Mattheo?” and becomes serious again. “Um—hey.” He smiles gently, out of character for him. “I know it’s late and all, I just had to um.. talk to you.” You rub your eyes and yawn, “Well?” You ask, eyebrows raised expectantly. “I know we aren’t close or anything, but I really fucking like you. I mean—really like you. It’s so weird for me to feel this strongly over.. well, y’know a girl who I barely know. But you’re just different, you make me feel things—things that no one else does.” He watches you watch him nervously, this is really different than the Mattheo you know. “Anyway.. what I’m trying to say is, I think we’d be really good together. I want us to try it out, if you’d have me?” “Mattheo I—“
Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters. So inviting, I almost jump in.
-
A/N: IM SOOO SORRY FOR THIS TKAING SO LONG TO WRITE(literally ignore my spelling mistakes wtf) ANYWAY YEAH, LMK IF I SHOUKD MAKE A OART TWO OR SMTHING?????
PART TWO
MASTERLIST
#angst#evermore#fluff#harry potter#slytherin#blaise zabini#draco malfoy#mattheo riddle angst#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo x you#mattheoxreader#mattheo x y/n#mattheo riddle#smut#fanfic#gold rush#benjamin wadsworth#marcus lopez x reader#marcus lopez arguello#slytherin boys#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#tom riddle#regulus black
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