#my nightmares dont make any sense but they feel so real

[wisteria-whump]

i love when whumpees have nightmares that are so vivid and feel so long and real that when they wake up they can't help but just lay in their bed feeling the huge amounts of relief that none of it was real

[mcpuliotjr]

.

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Halfas and Fear Gas

Ive seen a lot of "fear gas makes danny high." Its hilarious and i love it. Other variations i recall seeing are: fear is not as potent, complete immunity, 'food supplement' fear gas, and the boring 'effects him like normal.'

BUT.

I haven't really seen anyone treat effect effect on the brain and core as separate processes. In other words, humans get affected one way, ghosts get affected another way, and halfas get blasted by both.

We already know how normal humans are affected, so we dont really need to go over that. Ghosts, however, are free reign. (Unless there's a canon incident where a ghost like boston brand or gentleman ghost are exposed to a fear gas attack? Any DC canon nerds out there that know of something like that?)

The options I've seen or thought up so far:

Complete immunity - ectoplasm just doesn't react to physical matter in a way that impacts the ghost. Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, has no effect whatsoever.

Effects ghosts like humans. Straight forward, it's a bit weird if you think about it, but eh.

Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, is like ghost weed, or perhaps something stronger. Might be hallucinogenic, but in a bad trip sort of way rather than a worst fear sort of way

Fear gas, as in the chemical itself, is accidentally a super effective health suppliment for ghosts

If emotions are food to ghosts, fear gassed humans can span the range between 'delectable snack sprinkled with extra sugar' to 'weird chemical food that isnt healthy but will still sustain you' to 'supercharged health snack completely saturated by nutrients'

Fear gas, either the chemical itself or the people affected by it, has a distinct smell. It could be good, bad, or neutral, possibly related to how it affects the ghost. (Or deceptive, for humor and/or angst.)

Fear gas is outright toxic to ghosts. Perhaps the chemical itself is similar to, but just left of, ectoplasm. Like many artificial chemicals that can substitute various nutrients / usurp metabolic pathways in humans, it could have any number of mild to debilitating, short to long term effects on ghosts.

(If anyone has another idea, feel free to add)

Now we get to halfas, who have both a human brain and a ghost core. Dany has a human body and brain that are affected normally by the fear gas: hallucinations, panic attack, adrenaline response, etc etc. Someone better at biology can describe the actual biochemical processes going on.

But the ghost core? Added on top of All That? Can be excessively angsty, somewhat mitigating, or outright hilarious.

Going through the list of options:

Complete immunity.

This sounds boring, but its actually my favorite. Why? Because danny is getting conflicting signals. His brain is compromised and in full panic, but his core is telling him that he's completely safe. As a hybrid, Danny could be capable of having critical thought with both organs. If he's clever enough to recognize the seperation between the two, he can exploit it as a sort of anchor (I'm imagining it somewhat like how a multitasker can do different things with different senses, like listening to an audio book while solving a jigsaw puzzle - the book is auditory, the puzzle is visual and tactile, neither interfere with the other.)

Danny, in this scenario, is definitely in an altered state of consciousness, seeing things that aren't there and right on the cusp of panicking or defending himself. But if he can recognize that his core is unaffected, he can focus on the sensory input that his core is processing, and the whole situation might be somewhat equivalent to becoming lucid in the middle of a nightmare - its terrifying, but just the recognition that it isn't real takes the edge off. To him, it's now like being stuck in a VR horror game and being unable to take the headset off, flinching at all the jumpscares but recognizing that his body isn't actually being attacked or injured.

Affects ghost like humans

Danny could either be affected exactly the same as anyone else or effectively double-dosed as both brain and core fight entirely different hallucinations. Maybe if danny is lucky, he'll just black out from the sensory overload.

Ghost weed

This could make what was initially designed to be a really bad trip into something catastrophic... or mellow it out. Idk. I've never done recreational drugs. Both the brain and core are cut off from reality. The brain is terrified, and the core is tripping out. If his core naturally reacts to his emotional state, it's gonna amplify the effects, which is Really Bad. If the core is compromised to a point where it can't really process anything, then Danny is still trapped in a nightmare state, just more loopy and otherwise no worse than any human.

Health supplement and/or literal food

This one is confusing. Brain is terrified, core is satiated? Energized? A boost to his powers is gonna make him much more difficult to contain and treat. When he comes out of it, there's real potential for angst from danny worrying that the conflicting emotions of absolute terror and hunger satiation are a sign that he's turning evil. Especially if his core was instinctually feeding off of the fear of nearby civilians who were also gassed during the trip. That undercurrent of predatory satisfaction is gonna leave him awake at night for a few weeks.

On the plus side, feeding his ghost core might help it clear out the toxin faster, so the trip is much shorter. Maybe he even pulls out of it before he accidentally causes any damage with his powers.

Smelly

Pretty straightforward. If it smells bad, Danny is automatically gonna hold his breath, limiting his exposure. If it smells good, he might take a good few wiffs before realizing what's up and holding his breath, or just keeps dosing himself more and more as that effects, good or bad to the core and definitely bad to the brain, settle in.

Toxic

Has the potential to be much more long-term and insidious. You can run the full gamut here. Does he need to be restrained and taken to the far frozen for days or even weeks of treatment? Does the ectoplasm incorporate the drug, and Danny has to suffer weeks or months of microdosing until it's used up, turning him into a paranoid schizophrenic during that time? Is it blood blossoms 2.0? Does it have no mental effects but screws with his powers? Does it influence his emotional self-control? Does he grow the ghost equivalent of a tumor that encapsulates the toxin and has to be surgically removed? Does he need supplemental ecto to remain healthy, temporarily, or permanently? Does it affect his ectosignature or peak power level? Injure his core? Lower his healing factor?

All of this is on top of the initial fear gas trip, which he may have never even fully pulled out of. The angst possibilities are endless.

Then, there are liminals who have the potential to be affected like halfas or in an entirely different way. Does your headcanon give them proto-cores or baby ghost cores, or are they just severely ectoconaminated? How would that change their symptoms?

Anyways, just some ideas for people to use. My favorite idea so far, that I'd love to see someone use, is that Danny has learned to use his separate brain and core as insurance against mind control and mind-altering drugs. The freakshow incident was a sort of catalyst that helped him recognize the differences between his brain and core, and he taught himself how to lean into one or the other for various advantages in different situations. (Sort of like how a person can lean on either logic or intuition to make different types of choices.)

There's a lot of interesting potential here. Essentially, Danny could teach himself to be immune to mind-control and greatly resistant to drugs, as he can evaluate his surroundings with both organs and identify differences. Mind control wouldn't work unless it targeted BOTH brain and core, as he could shift to the uncontrolled one to break away. Any drug designed to knock out or roofie a human is countered by the fact that danny's core still remains conscious of his surroundings, and creative use of ghost powers counters the accompanying paralysis.

If ghosts dont sleep, one could argue that Danny's core is in a meditative state when his brain rests, which is why his ghost sense can wake him up from a dead sleep - he's never fully unconscious. Workoholic danny could find a way to get homework or paperwork done, or solve a problem, or design a piece of tech, or even play a videogame, while 'sleeping,' even using ectokinesis to move stuff while his body is sleep-paralyzed. Sleep-deprived danny is still functional because his core isn't affected by his brain's lapses in consciousness from micro-naps. (He is a lot moodier, though. His core is more emotion-focused while his brain is more logic-focused, on top of the normal mood-swings from sleep deprivation.)

This version of danny, after being fear-gassed, immediately recognizes that his brain and core are suddenly experiencing two different realities. He would be able to talk himself down from a panic attack and slowly find his way to safety. He probably wouldn't trust himself to hold back if he got in a scuffle, but he would be coherent enough to vaguely understand his surroundings to avoid danger.

And lastly, something I dont recall seeing in any fics - if the bats encountered fear-gassed Danny, and he's aware enough to refuse an antidote, I dont think the bats would push it. Yeah, forcing more medical trauma on our favorite blorbo is all good and fun, but he clearly has an altered metabolism that was affected differently by the fear gas than normal, so there's a heightened risk that the antidote would also have an altered affect, for the reward of removing the effects of fear-toxin (which is no longer guaranteed), which danny is already showing he's capable of working through.

On top of that, medical professionals are not allowed to force treatment if the patient refuses them and can walk it off. (If they are unconscious or can't get up on their own, they can intervene.) Medical conditions and allergies are a thing too, and its the priority of the patient to inform the medical worker as soon as possible to prevent complications. Jazz may have coached Danny about "in a medical emergency, declare closet-meta status with highly modified metabolism and unknown reactions to most drugs."

I see the conversation going something like:

"If you can hear me, im going to administer an antidote."

"Dont. Give it to someone who actually needs it."

And then the bat treats everyone else before approaching danny again to ask how they can help. They would be trained to take all of this into account:

Human male, visibly uninjured (unless the fic writer has different ideas) experiencing non-standard reaction to fear toxin. Probable indication of meta or enhanced status.

Victim is cognizent, replied to verbal communication, denied treatment. Appears to be managing the effects of the fear toxin. Not currently a danger to themselves or others.

Nonstandard reaction to fear-toxin implies potential non-standard reaction to antidote. Victim may be aware of medical condition that could complicate treatment, and is reasonably stable at the moment. Further questioning needed.

There are other victims in the area that are less cognizent, they become higher priority. Approach victim again when all other victims are cleared out, (in case of uncontrolled meta powers, to avoid further casualties), ask more questions and ascertain situation.

Once questioned further, danny drops the memorized line about altered metabolism and unknown effects, and giving Danny the antidote basically immediately becomes a non-viable option. They will probably argue Danny into being taken to Leslie's clinic, as he'll refuse a hospital (probably quite hysterically, given the fear toxin), which i'd imagine is the bat's normal protocol for closet-metas.

At least, that's how I imagine the situation panning out. Danny noping out before the bats return to him or during mid-interrogation is also extremely likely, which is gonna put the bats in panic mode for the next several hours. (Going to *any* secondary location with the bats is a non-option to Danny, for many potential reasons.) Danny is definitely going on a watch list (as in, possible meta with unknown powers, keep an eye out in case he gets caught up in another rogue scheme, need more information).

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[poisonedprose]

last anon here! okay, i was thinking maybe reader is having a hard time falling asleep, so they start accidentally slipping and in doing so, cling to leon while he’s asleep. but then he wakes up and comforts them? thank you!

₊˚✧ don't cry — in which you turn to leon for comfort

leon kennedy x gn!reader

warnings: 0.7k words, fluff, anti age regressors dni, disclaimer; this is just my experience with age regressing you might experience it differently and that's okay!, pet names (baby, sweetheart, hun), i dont think anything else

masterlists

Soft tears pooled in your eyes, wetting your eyelashes. The dead of night was still alive, for you anyway. Leon had been sleeping peacefully next to you for quite some time. At first, you watched him sleep. Learning the pattern of his breathing, watching his chest rise and fall. He barely tossed or turned in his sleep, save for when the tranquil dreams turned into dreadful nightmares.

You found that dragging your fingertips along his bicep calmed him, even when he was asleep it seemed. It's like he could feel your presence through his subconscious mind. And if you looked hard enough, there might have even been a small smile on his face from your touch. You enjoyed watching him sleep, you didn't get to do it often. Most nights you would fall asleep before Leon even came to bed. Not tonight though.

Another sigh left your lips, and a feeling you couldn't quite make out swelled your chest. You curled your knees to your chest, trying your best to fall asleep. It was no use though. It seemed at this point as if you'd never sleep again. Your tired mind mixed with your annoyance was not a good combination for you. The stress of it all had you feeling overwhelmed and much to your dismay you could feel yourself slipping into a state of childlike wonder.

You tense shoulders fell with ease, your bottom lip slotted between your teeth. You toss in turn, barely trying to be quiet anymore. The position you end up in is your body pressed into Leon's side. Your head rested on his chest, your fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt to keep yourself calm. You listen to his breathing and heartbeat as soft tears stain your face.  

"What're you doing, baby?" He groggily asks, his voice filled with sleep. He rubbed his eyes and soon his hand fell on your waist, his thumb rubbing smooth circles over your shirt. "Can't sleep." You pouted through your tears. Your mind felt hazy and all you wanted was to sleep. Leon clicked his tongue in a pitying way. "Oh, sweetheart." He pulls you closer against him, the two of you smooshed together. It would be impossible to get any closer.

He could tell from the way you gripped his shirt between your fingers and the way your eyes looked up at him like you had no idea what to do that you were regressing. He kissed the top of your head gently and moved his hand from your waist to your hair, combing through it with his fingers to comfort you. "You alright, sweetheart? Don't cry, hun. Your eyes are gonna get all red and puffy and then you're gonna be annoyed when you wake up." He talked to you gently.

He enjoyed taking care of you, he enjoyed that you found a sense of comfort in him that you didn't find in anyone else. "Okay, Okay." You wiped your tears and sniffled. He smiled at you and kissed the top of your head again. "Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?" He asks with a laugh. You laugh with him, but truthfully you wouldn't mind. "C'mon, get some sleep. You deserve it, sweetheart." He seemed always to know what to say.

You yawned as he continued to card his fingers through your hair. "Tell me a story?" You asked, silently hoping he'll talk to you until you finally succumb to sleep. "There once was an old woman who lived in a shoe." He started and you giggled as he did. He smiled as you laughed. "What's so funny, hun? Hm?" He asked rhetorically. "Tell me a real story!" You giggled even though your head ached from lack of sleep.

"Okay, alright. What about..." He began telling a story about his days training to be a police officer. You listened intently to his voice and the way his chest vibrated with each word. Your lip was slotted between your teeth again, your eyes having a hard time staying open. Leon noticed but he didn't stop talking, he just simply continued to play with your hair and occasionally scratched your scalp until you fell asleep. Now it was his turn to admire you while you slept.

[andy-wm]

Aesthetic Emotions and the Catharsis of Tragedy

How I feel after watching Jimin's Production Diary - The Truth Untold.

Why do we feel so drawn to emotional outpouring of others?

Why does the suffering and pain of artists make 'meaningful' art'?

I'm going to tell you why I think Face is a Greek Tragedy and why, even though the album is a complete and perfect story, we still needed Letter.

You know how sometimes you just need a good cry? And afterwards you feel better, like a weight has lifted... that's catharsis.

Based on the philosophy of the ancient greek philosopers Aristotle and Plato, the catharsis offered by tragedy in art is good for your soul.

The tragedy I'm talking about is not like a natural disaster. Its not like an unfathomably sad real life situation such as war, or the failure of the referendum for The Voice to pass in Australia.

I'm talking about Tragedy as a literary and artistic genre.

Simply put, Tragedy as a genre is identified by pathos and passion. And the work must have a narrative structure - a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Pathos being the ability to identify with and pity a person going through hard times.

Passion referring to strong emotion (of any sort).

But how do we find the equivalent of that literary theory in work that's not a typical story? In a song, or in art?

In my opinion, we can see something similar in music if we combine literary theory and art theory. After all, what is a song but a story delivered with emotion through music, and experienced as art is?

There's a school of art theory called Aesthetic Emotionalism.

In a nutshell, this means that the VALUE of the artwork comes from the way it communicates or expresses emotion. Mood, colour, tone, language all contribute to the feelings we get when we experience that work, whether it's looking at a picture or listening to music. They help us pick up on the emotions the artist is conveying.

So what happens when you experience those emotions through art? What is catharsis?

The experience of tragic events in art, whether it's a heart-rending drama, or a beautiful sad song, or a dark and menacing painting, can give you access to emotions like fear, pity, and regret. Feeling those emotions through art lets you purge the heaviness of them from your mind and body, giving you a sense of relief. That's catharsis.

It seems counter-intuitive but ultimately the experience is uplifting. It's like having the benefits of a therapy session, but without having to face YOUR OWN demons.

Becuase of the narrative structure, and the resolution of conflict, there's always relief at the end of the story.

You feel cleansed of those strong emotions, reengergised and ready to go on. But you also feel a sense of calm understanding. The pathos part of the tragedy gives you insight into the suffering of the character in the story.

Think about the narrative structure of the album Face.

The album has a carefully planned narrative, and a sense of rising and falling energy with these songs that's strongly reminiscent of the structure of a Hero's Journey.

And think about the individual songs in terms of Aesthetic Emotionalism too ...how they convey emotions through tone, pace, language, colour etc.

I'm going to go ahead and say that the strength of the Aesthetic Emotionalism in these songs (and in BTS's music in general) is a major reason they have such impact even when you dont understand the lyrics.

Now let's combine them... look at the emotions conveyed in these songs and how the literary theory of a tragedy might apply to the album :

The first song is the slow and devastating Face Off, with its hypnotic rhythm and strange, discomforting sound effects. It reallly does transport us into a dreamlike/nightmare landscape. But the last few words of the song foreshadow that it's gonna be alright.

Then we have the surreal, melancholy Dive, drawing us further into this dystopian world. It also uses sound effects to make us feel like we are being pulled through time. Dive is reminiscent of a soundtrack from a video, but it's been separated from it's film reel, leaving the listener to guess and imagine the scenes unfolding. It feels like jimin has come untethered from his reality.

Like Crazy comes like rising action in a novel, and we get character development, a bit of plot information, and conflict. But the song itself is a viby dance track with a party atmosphere (if you don't look too closely) so we get a reprieve from the darkness of Face Off and Dive. Its hypnotic beat is enough to keep us locked in the surreal dreamlike world that's been built around us by the previous songs, and the lyrics echo that.

Alone takes us back down into the darkness of Jimin's state of mind, both lyrically and with its low tones and slow pace. We get the metronome, the marking of slow time.

Set Me Free has a totally different energy. Jimin's tone of of voice is much brighter, but hard and determined. Set Me Free isnt a request, it's a demand. The music is forceful. It's like a battle march. The story has reached its climax.

Returning to Like Crazy (English version) after Set Me Free, is like returning to a gentle refrain. Its so much softer and more plaintive than the demanding Set Me Free, echoing the earlier melody and words, but it hits sightly different in English. We are into the denouement of this story, the resolution has come.

But it's not the end.

It is not the end, because after a few minutes of silence, time to breathe, we get Letter.

Why is letter here?

Jimin could have released Letter on Weverse or Soundcloud or directly onto Spotify. But he chose to include it at the end of the album.

I feel this is so important, because the specific set of circumstances of this album means this Tragedy we've just experienced isn't entirely consistent with the literary genre.

FACE ticks all the boxes for a Tragedy in the literary sense, it has pathos and passion and narrative structure. If you were a casual listener and you got to the end of the album you would have a sense of catharsis, as intended. But there's a complication.

ARMY aren't casual listeners.

This is personal.

We know Park Jimin, the real person.

We know this isn't fiction. This shit is real. It was real for him when he wrote it and it's real for us now.

Achieving catharsis isn't that easy when it's personal. Not when the hurt is real.

That's why he gave us letter.

That's why he gave it ONLY TO US.

Letter is a soft sweet gift, a sentimental dedication full of reminiscences that only ARMY will understand. The melody is gentle, like a lullaby, and Jungkook's backup vocals are enough to make you weep, if you aren't weeping already.

(**I have a theory that jk either didn't know about letter or didn't know Jimin was going to ask him to sing. See this post for why)

Letter does exactly what it's meant to - it fills us with warmth. It makes us overflow with love. It's a soothing balm to heal our hearts.

And its everything we need in order to let go of those heavy feelings of fear and pity, of worry and sadness for Jimin that the album brought to the fore.

Jimin knew we would need more. That's why he he sent us letter, right at the very end.

"I'm sorry. Thank you," It says.

"Don't cry. It's gonna be alright."

[viviaubm]

Autumn screams about how good monster hunter designs are 1: Shara Ishvalda

this guy isnt really my favorite monster or anything but its one of the monsters i feel the most strongly about if that makes any sense to you. i dont know who needs to be told this but rock monsters are fucking cool. dude looks like a fucking primordial god of the very ground we stand on.

i think its safe to say its sick as FUCK that they actually like. didnt just use the same type of rock for this dude. like theres actual variation in this guy's armor which you dont really see much of in media containing big rock dudes. including monster hunter itself

basarios for example is just like. a rock wyvern. with one kind of rock. but i really think it goes to show how much the design team for monster hunter has improved given that basarios is from the first game and shara ishvalda is relatively new. i just think thats pretty damn neat.

there are no good pictures of this so you gotta trust me when i talk about how cool it looks when you weaken its parts. most monsters just like put a texture over its leg or its head and call it a day but with shara its much more unique. like it actually changes the color of the rocks.

anyway once you crack this cold boy open youre greeted with the most terrifying eldritch nightmare youve seen in your entire goddamned life

im not sure how to describe this thing other than it being cool as hell. its wings are like. fucking veiny. and look like roots. they look like exposed nerves. and this fuckin guy causes seismic activity by CONTROLLING VIBRATIONS. this guys fuckin clothes were kept on with vibrations. and i just. fucking need to talk about how goddamn cool that concept is and how they utilize it.

THIS BITCH FUCKING MAKES DRAGON BALL LAZERS BY VIBRATING THE GODDAMNED AIR. ITS JUST STRAIGHT UP DOING SOME GOKU SHIT. IT ALSO JUST DOES A SPIRIT BOMB?? FROM DRAGON BALL?? MADE OUT OF VIBRATIONS??? AS ITS ULTIMATE ATTACK??? ITS FUCKING AWESOME.

AND IT GETS FUCKING SCIENTIFICAL IN THIS BITCH. IT VIBRATES THE SAND TO MAKE IT ACT LIKE A LIQUID. THATS A REAL THING. THATS JUST ACTUAL SCIENCE.

and dont worry it gets scarier when you hit it more

it opens its fucking eyes. i dont like that. it gives me the heeby jeebies. its great though. its modeled in a specific way to always be looking at the camera no matter what angle youre at. so its just fucking staring at *you*. not the hunter. but like actual you in real life.

quite beautiful and also fucking terrifying if i say so myself.

the lotus flower motif on its design is really cool. i didnt know you could make a design basedon a flower that goddamned terrifying but i like it.

unfortunately there arent many good pictures of it but when you break its parts off with your big cool weapon its like. a fucking amethyst geode. this fucking thing is just rocks all the way down.

in conclusion i think its really neat how capcom managed to make a creature seem so fucking terrifying and incomprehensible in a game where the creature still fucking make sense as part of an ecosystem no matter how wild they get. i dont know what monster i'll be screaming about next but i probably will. probably astalos or something

[mbat]

!! these were made using bases !! the bases will be linked below the cut!!

the cut is so the post isnt too long to scroll past, but also i will be talking about the au in it!!

decided to draw my own take on adult flurry heart, mostly so i could draw my own take on opaline in the au where opaline is like a nightmare moon of flurry heart. if youre wondering who the third pony is, its chrysalis' disguise for the au, named gentle heart.

flurry hearts base:

opalines bases (one for the body, the other was only for one of the wings):

gentle heart/chrysalis' base:

i had to use bases because ive been in such a weird art block lately, i just couldnt draw bodies right, but i was having this idea and i just had to get it out of me lol. i drew everything else just fine, idk why i couldnt draw bodies. shout out to elementbases on deviantart for having a lot of good mlp bases! and organized into categories no less!

btw for reference for adult flurry heart i mainly used images of her only adult appearance which was in some mobile game ?? i never played it but its real and its the only time we see her as an adult, though i dont think we get any details about her aside from how she looks. i just wanted to say that cause idk how many people know about it.

also yes her cutie mark is different between versions of her

so this is an au ive been tossing around for a while, especially since it started out as a half-theory i had about g5 before it truly did set in that they were just fucking up the entire thing (no hate to g5 or anyone who likes it but im personally just. disappointed), namely when they were like 'oh yeah opaline is just some alicorn that celestia and luna knew as kids and when they didnt want to play with her she held onto that for thousands of years and became evil over it'

also apparently the reason equestria is separated is because she just. idk whispered mean things in everyones ears? idk man i dont read the mlp comics, i plan to read g4s comics but not g5s. i didnt even know g5 had comics until i looked up why the pony kinds were separate.

anyway the idea was a theory because before all that we had no idea who opaline was, why there was some random alicorn, i mean, weve seen so few throughout g4! she was so mysterious for that, and i feel like the most popular idea was that she was flurry heart, since that was one of the few alicorns we knew of, and flurry is such a blank slate, especially since we dont technically ever see her adult form (with one exception)

i still personally think they shouldve gone that route but i know now that they wouldnt have, they probably wouldnt have wanted to give one of their previous characters, especially one like flurry, any bad traits or make her a villain, even though it would be such a cool idea. not to mention, they couldve redeemed her? idk man. worse villains have been redeemed lol

on to my au though. i wanted to keep it feeling like it couldve been canon but also stretching it just a little bit to make maybe more sense and also be more my creation, yknow?

we see at the end of g4 that chrysalis is trapped in stone alongside the other two villains she was working with, but we also know that these stone prisons can still be escaped, as we saw in discords introduction. my idea is that the stone is kept locked up, but unattended to, and she escapes, though her fellow villains dont. the specific details will be saved for if i go more in depth on all of this somewhere else lol

she develops a plan, that being to disguise herself as a normal pony, and to become staff at the crystal empire castle. that disguise is gentle heart, a name she literally made up because she was mocking the 'stupid' (from her perspective) names that ponies have, and she just kept it. while she works at the castle, she gets close to a young flurry heart.

she acts very extremely sickeningly nice and sweet in this disguise, but theres an uncanniness to it, a disingenuine undertone that is only noticeable when youre looking for it, really. flurry heart comes to love and trust her as a friend, and gentle heart isnt seen as suspicious to really anyone in the castle. people still think chrysalis is trapped in stone, after all.

her next step in the plan, however, is that when no one else is around, she shapeshifts herself into cadence or shining armor, and acts like a horrible parent to flurry heart. this creates a deep disconnect for flurry, as one moment her parents are the best ever, and the next they arent. if flurry tries to bring this up to them, they have no idea what shes talking about.

flurry begins to confide in gentle heart about this, and gentle heart begins to plant the idea in flurrys head that she should run away, and that gentle could run away with her. after a while of this, flurry finally decides to do this.

they run far, far away together, flurry being a child/young teenager, and they hide where no one else really goes, far from towns and pretty much any ponies. (this location hasnt been chosen yet but its not the mooost relevant? the basic point is that theyre hidden away) and they set up a home here.

soon in, gentle heart makes a decision. she shows her true form to flurry heart, a flurry heart who was never taught about how changelings used to be before their reformation, as her parents thought it was a conversation for when she was older. they didnt want her to feel paranoid, or scared. the changelings she knows are bright, and covered in generally round shapes. theyre not like the jagged and dark chrysalis.

gentle heart tells flurry that she was cursed. that her pony form is her true form, but she was cursed by the princesses to be in this form. being in her pony form drains her of energy, her changeling form recharges that energy. really, its just her excuse to not need to be in that pony form anymore. she tells flurry that she was cursed falsely, accused of a crime she did not commit. that she was made to work at the crystal castle so an eye could be kept on her. she asks to be called chrysalis, as being called gentle heart in this form feels wrong.

chrysalis right now is the only person in the world that flurry heart trusts, so she accepts this as truth.

as flurry heart grows up, chrysalis begins to plant ideas in her head that the other ponies are awful and horrible, just like her parents seemingly were. that flurry heart is better than all of them because shes not horrible, and on top of that, shes a natural alicorn. there hasnt been a natural born alicorn in thousands of years before her. flurry heart begins to believe all of this too. she doesnt have anyone or anything else to tell or show her otherwise.

these dark beliefs warp her appearance overtime, making her go from her parents daughter, into what we know as opaline, akin to princess luna turning into nightmare moon. she becomes annoyed with, averse to her cutesy name she was given by her family, and adopts the name opaline, both because of her crystal cutie mark, and because part of her still thinks of the crystal empire as her home, though now more like its hers to own someday.

speaking of, into her adulthood, opaline and chrysalis form a plan. a plan to take over equestria. the idea of being the ruler of all of pony kind was a natural conclusion that chrysalis wanted opaline to make, and so she did. their first step was to invade the crystal castle and take it over.

chrysalis tells her that cadence was never a fighter, so she shouldnt be an issue, but shining armor would be. if both chrysalis and opaline combined their power, they would easily overpower him and anyone else daring to fight them. the thing is... this works.

for a few reasons, actually. people were shocked at the return of chrysalis, and on top of that, despite her warped appearance, opaline was recognized as flurry heart. there isnt exactly many alicorns, and especially none that look similar to her. there was a fight put up, but not at full power. no one wanted to hurt the lost princess.

she takes over the empire, trapping any who oppose her, especially her parents. she doesnt even give them the option to talk to her. she plunges the empire back in dark days, not in the way that sombra did entirely, but still. shes strict on her subjects, and begins to make them like a military, planning to use them to invade canterlot. anyone who would dare come to attack the empire would be held off.

after she knows her subjects are loyal (terrified), and properly molded into an army, she storms canterlot, chrysalis by her side. its a hard fight, but they do it. they trap the other princesses, and they take over.

opalines first rule of business is to make the crystal empire the new capital, the new seat of power. for a while, this is the most drastic thing she does, otherwise going slow with her horrid ideas and changes.

the worse comes when shes already caused distrust and discomfort among ponykind, pitting ponies against eachother. she begins to decree that ponykind must be separated by type, designating towns to each, forcing ponies apart by law. she made sure it was enforced. she didnt need ponies coming together to rise against her, so she forced them apart. the damage is done.

this of course doesnt last forever. twilight is free and gathers the elements, and they take opaline by surprise, ending her reign. they empty the empire and trap her alone in her castle. thing is, she also trapped them in a limbo-like state, along with the other princesses (and her father), as they had also tried to join the fight. and a final blow to her, chrysalis got caught in crossfire, and was seemingly killed. no one intended it, but it happened. opaline is devastated.

and now, shes stuck. trapped alone in a castle in the middle of a city. she has the whole city alone to herself, and all she has now is the items left behind by her people, and mostly books. she only ever sees them as fiction or propaganda though, refusing to take them to heart and accept them as truth. alongside reading and re-reading the books around the city, she schemes of a way out. she is not very successful in this for a long time.

the closest she gets to getting out is when she opens the barrier just long enough to see, and kidnap, a young unicorn. a one misty brightdawn. she forces misty to be her only companion in a long time, and raises her like a daughter, but not lovingly.

some stuff continues on similar to canon, like misty befriending the mane 5 and leaving opaline behind, but i wont say more because i can keep some secrets for myself :] i do have an ending to her story planned though!

also pls ignore timeline and other canon contradictions pls pls pls pls pls lol

[applesjuice]

WAIT, does that mean that Kieran/Akari still captured legendaries?!!! When they're hearing Cinhtya talking about myths and legends of Hisui to see if there is a semblance of truth, and Akari just goes "Oh, ye." And just, sent Palkia/Dialga, darkrai (Lord of nightmare?!!!), GIRATINA (the fu-) and plenty others?!

...GOD?!

Pfffhehehe, it's just funny to think of the reaction the Poke-world could have to these XD. (Legend AU)

Yeah! They completed the pokedex and helped Laventon get the ball rolling in his research since everything got derailed thanks to a certain someone. I don't think they'd bring the legendaries back with them since like, they're literal gods who are worshipped. They captured them but they still do what they want, like showing up to work on the farm randomly or appearing to Kieran in dreams like they're the Virgin Mary descending to bestow a prophecy and its just Palkia or whoever wanting some attention. Kieran feels very bad for Giritina, and projects a bit on it like they did with Ogerpon, but I genuinely think Kieran is just a very empathetic kid.

The clans worship their specific pokemon like gods with carved figures in their homes that they make daily offering too. At some point Kieran makes one for Giritina and puts little hats on it when it gets cold and leaves berries and treats as an offering. Maybe the big baddie of the Distortion World is that way because nobody ever gave it a hug or tucked it into bed we dont know!

Kieran and Dawn in the future: maybe the real gods of creation are the friends we made along the way

I think there'd be pockets of people descended from the clans in modern Sinnoh who still worship Palkia or Dialga in their homes. Cynthia's family grew up with the church of arceus (and we all know why) but she loves theology and has so many questions because surely that one photo of the Big Three frolicing on a farm is some Ancient Alien level hoax and Kieran is just like: on no they just really like soybeans. I think they were competing to see whose plot got the highest yield.

Diamond and Pearl still happened so Dawn has current "ownership" of the Sinnoh legendaries but they have zero sense of time on a human scale so they'd be stoked to see their buddy Akari again but. But like, morally and ethically can you bring god to a pokemon battle? They'd probably enjoy battling for fun on the occasion but they're not normal pokemon and can't be treated as such. Im my mind there's a parctice of every generation or so since pokeballs became a thing, someone has to catch whichever legendary to keep it safe from your average nutjob drying to take over the world. Pokeballs are technology they're not forever and after a while they degrade and stop functioning. Or at least in my mind that's how it works. It would likely make sense to like. Just bury a legendary's pokeball somewhere and let it live its best life while there's ensurance for like 30 years some rando can't catch it.

Sorry this went on a tangent about my thoughts on religion in the pokemon world, but I see the Legendaries as being too Other and beyond our understanding to stick around on someone's team. I consider the various protagonists who catch them have gained their favor so they will pop in during their lifetime to visit because humans and pokemon need eachother to get stronger. Legendaries imo are just different in that they need exposure to that humanity to keep them grounded and present mentally. They have PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS, but itty bitty understanding of humanity, or like, the pokemon equivalent of it.

So yea Kieran doesnt bring any legendaries back with them but they'll still ask to see them occasionally to see if they're doing ok.

[poppy-metal]

sdf DONT ENCOURAGE ME that anon who was like "y'all for real???" is actually talking about me (rightfully) bc my brain was like ok but what if he's ur big stepbro tho.... bc ik he'd be insane amounts of obsessed w u but also meticulously careful bc god forbid you ever find out that he's doing (literally pick from the deck of perv behavior bc cmon. look at him. hes so pathetic. screams) bc hes convinced u would hate him n find him disgusting and LEAVE him and then he'd have to kill u :(( so he hides it VERY VERY well except u kinda have this buzzy feeling inside whenever he's around and u maybe KNOW deep down that the way he looks at u and speaks to u and prolly THINKS about u is not the way that he should be doing any of those things. n so now my swiss cheese brain is like "ok well imagine trying really hard to get him to fuck up n catch him in the act of Being a Perv. bc that's the only way that you'll Know" and then also imagine him losing his mind when u do find out and instead of being disgusted by him are begging for his cock. anyways,,, pls the brainrot is incurable im gonna die

im gonna fall off a cliff bella style why would you feed the fire like this.

please you're his precious baby sister:(( he has like..this protective streak over you, feels the need to hide you from his true nature, but not enough to actually stay away from you, because his skin feels like it needs to be clawed off if he doesn't know what you're up too. and yeah, maybe its weird he gets scary quiet when you mention other boys flirting with you, and yeah maybe every one of them has ended up dead, and yeah maybe you're a little bit too codependent with him, like maybe you shouldn't be running into his room whenever you have a nightmare at 18, maybe you shouldn't be begging him to hold you until you fall asleep, maybe you shouldn't do alot of things, but you dont care. corey makes you feel safe and loved and no matter what he'll always be there.

maybe its strange that when you find your panties in his dresser drawer, and you see the dried cum on them, that you dont freak out. maybe its strange that you feel a little happy about it. maybe its strange you wait until he thinks you're not around till you press your ear against his door just to listen to him moan as he uses a pair of your panties to fuck his own hand. maybe its bad that you touch your cunt to the sounds of your stepbrother saying your name as he gets off. maybe its bad to imagine what his cock looks like, how it'd feel, splitting you open, filling you up.

its probably all bad, but it is what it is. and you think nothing would feel more right than seducing corey into taking your virginity. its always felt like it should belong to him anyway. and who would make it better for you than him? isn't he always telling you, "I'll always take care of you." it makes sense.

[night-dark-woods]

Hello Tis the book anon, are u bready for the final shape in less than a week (holy shit 5 days???)

GOD. im very very excited for the new enemy types (i wasn't playing the last time we got a new faction in forsaken! i started tail end of worthy) i think a lot of the design is VERY cool and im very concerned abt the potential of unstop husks. nightmare fuel.

i think prismatic is gonna be fun- ive seen ppl worried abt it breaking the game or whatever BUT i think bungie is in general pretty good with balance (for the casual player) and when it isnt balanced idk i think its usually unbalanced in a super fun way. i am do NOT have the minmaxer's spirit though so i am sure i will not be utilizing it's full potential "correctly" but ill be having fun and thats what im there for.

story-wise... eh? i think they ARE going to land the story they are telling. i just dont *like* the story they are telling. it feels very marvel to me (derogatory) and i dislike immensely the literalization of the concept of the final shape. (oooh they've been ~finalized~ okay why dont we just have a thanos snap situation. what is this *doing* that is different from that).

not to sound like a broken record but i think seth dickinson was putting down something MUCH more interesting when they wrote BoS and unveiling than. this. its very NEAT, it makes sense with the story beats they've been working on, but i think it... flattens the delightfully complicated metaphysics of destiny in a way that pisses me off. i dont think the final shape is meant to be literal. i think the final shape is a way of being like the sword logic is. i think the witness is a neat little deus ex and i think they will tell the story of the witness as they see it Just Fine, but i dont have to like it.

like, i dont have an easily articulatable alternative but im ALWAYS rotating in my mind that the two (three?) beings that escaped the flower game are the vex and the worm gods (& ahamkara?). and i DONT think unveiling is written by the witness. i WILL die on that fucking hill. swagless graycale megamind "no bitches" mcu villain did NOT write that insidious tempting little love letter.

anyway. some relevant lore excerpts connected by red string but no real arguments in my head:

They're majestic, I said. They have no purpose except to subsume all other purposes. There is nothing at the center of them except the will to go on existing, to alter the game to suit their existence. They spare not one sliver of their totality for any other work. They are the end. (The Final Shape; Unveiling)

&

SHAPES AND GLIDERS. I dreamt of existence as a game of cellular automata. In this metaphor, there were only two things: shapes in the game world and the rules of the game world. The rules were the rules of Life and Death. I understood that the sword was the desire to escape existence as a shape in the game and to become the rule that made the shapes. This rule said only "live" or "die"—it had no other outputs. It could not keep secrets. Against it was the desire to become a shape so complex that it could within itself play other games. (Tyrannocide I)

like! the final shape is a shape of THOUGHT. a philosophy of existence *made* real in the way that the vex and the hive effect the worlds around them and exert that philosophy through force of will, bc the metaphysics of the destiny universe allows and operates based on that leveraging of will over the physical world. the philosophical and the real are DEEPLY entwined in a way thats REALLY REALLY INTERESTING and i think its BORING if the final shape the darkness/the witness (bc i do think bungie is conflating them! but imo the traveller is not the gardener and the witness is not the winnower. i will die on this hill) is seeking is to. make everyone into a cube. i joked abt the final shape being a square but i didnt mean it! hello? can anyone hear me? is this thing on?

anyway. tantrum over. i think its fun that cayde and crow are getting to be a little faggy together. i think they should kiss about it.

im excited for the new content release format (episodes?), bc i think a LOT of the issues with the narrative are due to the seasonal model.

i think sjur is finally coming back theres NO way they would bring her up this much and not bring her back. i think in a Nine-themed season. downside is it will inevitably result in what my dear friend jackie and i have been referring to as "hashtag monogamy win" where sjur and mara get back together as a mirror to o14 and then mara tells petra shes always thought of her as a sister or worse a daughter. but if thats the price i have to pay for sjur. thats okay. the writers room is wrong so frequently i just do whatever i want. its like being a comics fan at this point.

also clearly SOMEONE knows what they are doing bc that radio message at the end of last season was. the most in-character thing since probably marasenna lmfao!!! so i tentatively have hope about the writing of it, and regardless am PERFECTLY capable of living blissfully in jackie & my mind palace version of whatever they give us, bc what we are cooking is beautiful and true and divinely inspired. and im very certain seth would approve.

[ashersbraincell]

Just had the most terrifying nightmare yet, one of those stereotypical ones that actually incorporate both real life events twisted into optimum trauma factor scare and topped off with a dusting of sugar(your traditional spooky stuff)

I will try to retell it, but first

TW: bodies, trauma, school trauma, second hand embarrassment, sleep paralysis, nightmares, night terrors(?), being chased, body horror, physical abuse, bullying, fear of the dark, fear of heights, hyperventilation, hyperventilating, false awakening, being stared at, being watched

Okay, so first thing I remember is that, for some reason, in this dream-universe it was required of all school graduates to complete a day of chaperoning the youngest(a year 7, I live in Britain). So I’m chaperoning this kid, I think his name was Liam? Something with an L I think. Looks, kinda familiar? I’m not sure now. I couldn’t recreate his face now if you asked me to imagine it clearly but in it was still much clearer than most dream characters.

Well anyway, we check in with the head of the school(who, again, looked familiar but I don’t think I actually knew her irl. Perhaps she was a mashup of all the female teachers I’ve known that had long-ish white blonde hair. Well anyway, she sets us off for the day. I find myself actually somewhat compassionate for the kid, which I guess was expected since, again, in the „dream universe” the reason this was required was to build compassion and kindness or something.

So there were two moments when my school trauma(bullying), particularly showed up. Once, just, seeing that familiar hallway. With the Nurses office and all(personal detail, won’t make sense but wanted to add it for myself). Then, later, there was a more elaborate moment. So it’s breaktime, and this kid meets up with his chubbier, glasses friend(/not negative just the two descriptors I particularly remember. He was also blonde like Liam but his hair was slightly more bowl-cut shaped).

Said friend has a bottle(for some reason, one shaped like those gas tanks? It was huge) of alcohol. Naturally, I caution them but I’m too timid to overstep my boundaries. Doesn’t matter though, since lessons start up again and. The crowd comes(another trauma, my school had major overcrowding to the point that it became dangerous oftentimes when breaks would end especially). I get lost in the sea of people, and start completely panicking/crying/hyperventilating when I feel some guy just, grab my hair and yank it continuously(didn’t happen specifically back then, but I had many other experiences of being physically abused in those crowds, shoving, shoving against walls/door-frames, kicking, etc).

It cuts to later when I’m apologising for just, blanking out like that but the aforementioned blonde haired lady is forgiving. Later, it is lunchtime and I loose the kid again, I assume among the masses of people though this time I don’t think it was any more scary than just being a crowd(don’t think any more physical abuse occurred). So I’m looking for him everywhere and eventually remembered that some kids would gather in classrooms to eat(this didn’t actually happen, again, dream-universe thing), and check until I find him and sit down.

They are, unsurprisingly drinking alcohol. At some point I HAD reported that so I wondered how they weren’t caught. Somehow, H(again, personal detail, stands for a name I OBVIOUSLY dont want to disclose) was another chaperone for some other kid there at the time, which is suprising how much of a general red flag he is as a person. But I try to put up face and just, make it to the end of the day. But, eventually we start watching cringey tik toks to make fun of them, and an old one of mine comes up(though I’ve had cringey tik tok accounts that I am mortified by, this one wasn’t an actual one I’ve had, again dream-universe thing. Not necessarily a trauma but it is a fear of mine that someone could find the ones that DO exist so another point for realism horror ig). Obviously I’m so distracted by this that we proceed to be 10 MINUTES late, and that’s apparently my last strike.

Now here is where I think my brain ran out of material to torture me with, because things get more, if not in an extremely bizarre way, „traditionally” nightmarish. As I take the walk of shame to the library, slowly transforming into a librarian, the kids’s, all the kids’s eyes have become nothing but bright red circles in a fashion that would almost the cartoonishly ridiculous would it not have had the immersiveness of the dream. All staring. And they’re droning, all in unison, something I don’t remember. I’m dream universe, I was aware of this being the consequences of failing my mission, being sentenced to working as the librarian at that school forever.

Later cuts to me in the car with my mom, talking about my „demotion”, ig. I mention the fact that the blonde haired teacher lady ACCUSED me of drinking the alcohol myself and that being the reason for my lateness, since I was much too embarrassed to admit to what actually happened. I, of course fervently denied the allegation as it was obviously something I’d never do. To which she patronisingly continued to not believe me, „reassuring” that it was „understandable” for someone my age. A statement, much to my disappointment and disbelief, my mother echoed. She would not believe me either. The whole thing had very „fallen Angel” vibes so I guess it had that going for it in the metaphorical department

Then, for some reason, we were walking through and out of an apartment complex, one of many in a line, though this one had a straight line on path towards a bridge…over a completely dark abyss. A huge one, too. Apparently, this was a normal occurrence of getting home every day(one could make out the end of the bridge, and it didn’t look particularly damaged, but it sure as hell wasn’t sturdy(it was one of those hanging rope ones). We start going through, and I just hear this bellowing howl from within the abyss. We begin to stagger back, obviously, but out of the corner of my eye, towards the edge of the abyss, on a sort of shore, I notice a…mass? No, a body. It’s really pale, white, like completely with a greyish hue, and curled up in such a way I can’t make out a head, but I wouldn’t be suprised if it was bald.

I am horrified, instinctually so. Like I just, KNOW that it will begin to chase us and something HORRIBLE will happen if it should get to us. As I begin to audibly go into hysterics(ie „oh god, oh god, what the fuck, oh god” etc) it begins to move, jerking in in-human ways, as I sprint for it. At first, my mom has the idea to try to duck behind and hide behind some of the apartment complex’s walls, (they were irregular, not lined up smoothly, with a section pertruding forward in the middle of each one) but I just knew it wouldn’t work. In hindsight, I thought my screaming had already set off it’s instincts and it was after us anyway. I eventually let go of my mom’s hand, and keep running. At this point, I was already like, half-dreaming, half-imagining it, as I was already gradually waking up so I kinda just had a „man, fuck this” moment and fully pulled myself out of the dream.

Had the sneaking feeling it COULD turn out to still be right behind me towering over my bed(I was turned towards the wall) l, so I did many a reality checks, a double-reality checks to make sure I was fully awake and wasn’t in for another round via false-awakening. I wasn’t.

Dude, when I tell you it was fucked up. One of those nightmares you wake up hyperventilating from. Eurghhh

[borathae]

Chapter 26

OMG TAE BABY BAY I AAAH STOOP KOOK JUNGKOOK SOTP

TAE NO U DONT DESERVE IT PLEASE U NEED TO BE AWAY FROM JOON THATS ALL U ARE BBETTER WITHOUT JIMIN(controlled) AND NAMJOON

HOLY FUCK YOONGI DADDY oh he stopped him with mind control? “never in my cursed life did I want to use this power again damn

OK NOW SAVE JIMIN MY BABY PLEASE I HATED HIM ALL THESE CHAPTERS ONLY TO LIKE HIM FOR 1 PARAGRAPH AND MF JUST DIES NAH UH WTF GET UR ASS UP NO U DONT GET TO DIE ON ME LIKE THAT

3000 YEARS??? BRO WTF wait dude is from the bc?? damn wtf omg i have so many stupid questions to ask him xd i will prepare a list and you can make yoongi answer

“You are one of them. The Creators, runs back to that old chapter hold on i just saw rippers have flesh dissolving acids in their gland that would make sense why kook's saliva burned her skin wait a sorcerer cursed some people and they are the creators?

STOP TALKING WHERE IS JAMAL NO NOT ASJH SHUT UP HE DIDNT

whats going on i cant handle shit wtf man this is hard why are my emotions actually emotioning on a book you are too good wow

wow he just casually broke his spine like a fucking twig my spine just shivered thank fucking you yoongi

Some are empty, but in some chained up corpses look back at you. um what the actual fuck? “Their eyes just moved!” you screech, stumbling back. “That’s because they are alive”, Yoongi answers dryly. WTF WTF ABORT MISSION WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON YALL THE POWER CHRIST COMPELS YOU ALLAHU AKBAR *calls all hindu gods and idk other gods damn i look like the girl hobi mentioned 😃

sibi are u ok my love? like is everything alright at home? do u get enough sleep? what are you eating? any nightmares?

yoongi wtf why are they being dehydrated like grapes? cant u idk do something else to them idk wtf

wow 7 people oof quite a lot, why cant he idk try more rehab-ish for them looks horrific, their actions are inhuman but it feels horrific knowing they will never get better and be able to leave

DAMN BABY I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO HOT MUAH dude could have just said he gave them chances cuz sorry it doesnt look cute enough to guess they got chances

“That was literally so badass what you just did. Girl I think I just got a boner, that was so hot”, Hoseok says. FR I GOT A LADY BONER

I’m a goddamn gluttonous Ripper I do this to redeem myself”, you mock his voice, PLS LAMO ISTG HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT AND DECIDED TO IGNORE IT HAHA

“Whatever, stop making sense and let us be angry”, you say. FR Hoseok lifts his hands, “I’m already quiet.” HAHA

“Don’t play knight in shining armour where you shouldn’t”, a dark voice cuts through the room. AAAAH WTF BYE HOBI IS RIGHT HE GIVES ME HEE JEE BIES

Hoseok and Seokjin hide behind you, wow every man for himself

WTF KOOK STILL CANT MOVE? YOONGI WHAT ARE U DOING LEAVE THE POOR BOY ALONE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE

“Princess wait”, he tries to grab for you, FUCK OFF

“Then at least I died trying.” queen for real

i get them cuz why would you want someone like him out in the streets and kill more emma/oc/victims

but they need to go after namjoon, after all if he is out, there will be more "jimin" and "taehyung"

TAE NO U DONT DESERVE IT PLEASE U NEED TO BE AWAY FROM JOON THATS ALL U ARE BBETTER WITHOUT JIMIN(controlled) AND NAMJOON

😭😭😭😭

HOLY FUCK YOONGI DADDY oh he stopped him with mind control? “never in my cursed life did I want to use this power again damn

lmaoaoo I love how you still find time to thirst jfadsj valid

OK NOW SAVE JIMIN MY BABY PLEASE I HATED HIM ALL THESE CHAPTERS ONLY TO LIKE HIM FOR 1 PARAGRAPH AND MF JUST DIES NAH UH WTF GET UR ASS UP NO U DONT GET TO DIE ON ME LIKE THAT

bestie...i might have news for you....

3000 YEARS??? BRO WTF wait dude is from the bc?? damn wtf omg i have so many stupid questions to ask him xd i will prepare a list and you can make yoongi answer

YES please do that <3 he'd pretend to hate it but would definitely take a lot of time to answer them <3

“You are one of them. The Creators, runs back to that old chapter hold on i just saw rippers have flesh dissolving acids in their gland that would make sense why kook's saliva burned her skin wait a sorcerer cursed some people and they are the creators?

I love watching people connect all the dots 😌

whats going on i cant handle shit wtf man this is hard why are my emotions actually emotioning on a book you are too good wow

*laughs in author*

wow he just casually broke his spine like a fucking twig my spine just shivered thank fucking you yoongi

like he is actually so scary if he wants to *sucks his dick*

*calls all hindu gods and idk other gods damn i look like the girl hobi mentioned 😃

lmaoaoao the fear is so valid fjasdjjf

sibi are u ok my love? like is everything alright at home? do u get enough sleep? what are you eating? any nightmares?

I am very fine actually 😃😃😃

yoongi wtf why are they being dehydrated like grapes? cant u idk do something else to them idk wtf

there will be answers to your question very soon 👀

DAMN BABY I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO HOT MUAH dude could have just said he gave them chances cuz sorry it doesnt look cute enough to guess they got chances

lmaoao babygirl changed her mind real fast (me)

“That was literally so badass what you just did. Girl I think I just got a boner, that was so hot”, Hoseok says. FR I GOT A LADY BONER

hahha love that for you and Hobi

I’m a goddamn gluttonous Ripper I do this to redeem myself”, you mock his voice, PLS LAMO ISTG HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT AND DECIDED TO IGNORE IT HAHA

oh 100%

“Don’t play knight in shining armour where you shouldn’t”, a dark voice cuts through the room. AAAAH WTF BYE HOBI IS RIGHT HE GIVES ME HEE JEE BIES

he is so scary *eats his ass*

Hoseok and Seokjin hide behind you, wow every man for himself

I HATE THEM 😭😭😭

WTF KOOK STILL CANT MOVE? YOONGI WHAT ARE U DOING LEAVE THE POOR BOY ALONE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE

LIKE SERIOUSLY LEAVE POOKIE ALONE 😡

“Princess wait”, he tries to grab for you, FUCK OFF

LIKE bro it's too late for that

but they need to go after namjoon, after all if he is out, there will be more "jimin" and "taehyung"

yes 100%

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Okay so I’m officially in love with your Rosekiller (they’re so ACCURATE), please indulge us in your Wolfstar headcanons 🎤

loooool ok anon youre cute so i'll do it but fucking hell wolfstar headcanons will be the death of me cause ive spent literally almost the same amount of time thinking about them as i have thinking about my own goddamn OCs

well the sirius i have in my head is a sickeningly blinding cosmic event (oh thatsgood). he's a walking paradox. he's impulsive and boisterous and laughs loudly but he's also intentional, fragile, vulnerable, dainty even. he walks like he knows exactly where he's going at all times, languid and relaxed, head held high. he wears whatever he wants. sometimes it's feminine, sometimes it's masculine, sometimes it's both. but even when he's wearing his blue jeans and leather jacket, he always looks regal, a little bit girlish, nose turned upwards and eyes twinkling with secret emotions only few people can decipher. he's loyal to a fault and it makes him crazy. the way he loves is testing. he's highly educated, writes only in cursive though he holds the pen with hatred. he grits his teeth in his sleep. has major anxiety. sometimes he can barely get a bite of food in him because he always feels sick. he hides it well but not so well. its all in his eyes, everything. you just gotta look. in my head he's half english half french, from la Corse. Corsica babyyyyy. he's a virtuoso with the piano and has a perfect ear. like, you could literally ask him what note your overheating laptop is making and he'll be like "hmm Si bémol." only knows music theory in french. he will kill for you but not die for you. he's almost nauseatingly driven. like, one track mind kind of person. if he has a goal, its getting done no matter how long it takes him. it gets him what he wants but it also makes him insufferable sometimes because there's no talking sense into him. he's sweet as a fucking button, though, my sirius. so so sweet. when he smiles you just wanna keep making him smile, when he laughs you just wanna get on your knees and beg he never stop. he's got the energy of a thousand suns, but has his moments of complete quiet and solitude. he needs those. at least once a day. he sleeps with the covers over his head, like an animal. if you're looking for sirius and you cant find him, look for a bump in the blankets. he'll be there. he also has crazy nightmares. like the type of person that just has nightmares every night. he's woken up at least once like in the movies, sprung up in bed screaming. also sleeps like he tosses and TURNS GOD and sometimes remus literally cannot stand it. the things he loves like music movies and books become his whole personality, he's very very obsessive with the things he loves. he'll talk your ear off about them if you ask him to. he like almost identifies with whatever he loves at that moment. he can cook. he's a good cook. homely stuff, like mashed potatoes and pie. he has the best table manners and doesnt really like people who dont. gives bombastic side eye in a way that makes it almost too funny not to laugh when you catch it. he loves to speak with his eyes, he's so good at it its scary.

remus. oh myyy goooooddd remus. no i just. i really really love him guys. okay my remus is half Polish half Welsh. his skin is fucking soft, idk thats just always sometimes that sits in my mind, like yes he has scars but the skin around them is just really fucking soft. he always smells kind of soft, too. contrary to sirius, who's all sharp features and contrasting hair on his pale skin, remus is just soft all over, actually. everything blends in real nice. his eyes are a shade of amber that is never quite the same in any lighting. watery eyes. sparkling eyes. Roman nose PLEASE. he's an avid smoker. he's a stoner, yes but he doesn't act like one. like he can hold his fuckin smoke. he has insomnia. his mind never stops. he takes in the world with wonder, always romanticizing everything. everything is beautiful and it breaks his heart. very protective of his heart but he wants so badly to just love freely and openly and avidly the way sirius does, or the way james does. he's not an asshole, but has asshole-ish tendencies. like he can be a bit dry and cold sometimes or aloof, but he doesn't really notice until someone mentions it then he's like oh shit my bad. he talks MAD SHIT. loves to talk shit. he's good at it too, you'll laugh with the digs he comes up with. RESTING BITCH FACE. please yes. he looks full of disdain, bored, but he's having the time of his life dont worry. sarcastic, always. but the funny kind, the silly kind. like youll ask him "hey can you get this thing for me" and he'l reply "no" while doing it. you never really know where you stand with him and its kind of his fatal flaw, like he always seems to have one foot out the door. when he loves you though, he is the LEAST judgmental person you'll ever meet. like seriously thats the way he loves. he embraces all parts of you, lets you evolve and change and make mistakes. he loves to be a guard dog. he is very protective. he's also mid. like looks wise, i love a mid remus. in the sense that, he's not striking, heads don't necessarily turn when he walks into a room, or they do but its only cause he's tall. but when he speaks, all solid cadence and a crinkly smile, you're like oh. oh. he's hot. also cant keep socks matched to save his life. they're always mismatched and even when he takes them out of the dryer, he doesnt bother to find the matching ones he just bunches them up together. drives sirius fucking mad.

i could keep going like its so bad. its so bad. im down bad

[god-of-this-new-blog]

13, 14, 16, 18!!!

Yaoigami, my dear dear friend, I will be breaking up this post because I can not ever say something quickly. Skipping 13 because I’ve already answered it!

14. That one thing you see in fics all the time

A thing I LOVE to see is Light being so sooo repressed. It’s real, and painful, and hot. Love.

A thing I HATE is Sex God Light tm. Those who know me know that I hold the firm belief that Light is a total nightmare to bed. I love this about him and refuse to believe that he could be some super confident dom right off the bat. However, I see SO much fic where Light is super experienced and confident and just fucks L like its nothing asking to be called Sir or Kira or something. No. This type of fic also tends to have L as a super shy virgin that can’t even look Light in the eyes. L is 25 and the richest person in the world—I think he’s had sex before. Light, however, is newly in college, straight laced, disgusted by impurities, and living at home. He even has a throw away line about his mother cleaning his room if I’m remembering correctly. However. This is a take everyone knows I have… I’ll try to think of a more obscure one.

Oh I HATE innocent Misa. Misa is scary, she gets Light to agree to date her under threat of death from a supernatural being. Misa is not a good person. She is obsessive with Light and I think she scares him at time. Her demands to be physical with him should not be taken as funny. She is demanding sex under threat of physical violence. Light knows that if he really displeases Misa that she will have him killed. What’s more, Misa makes it clear that this will go on for the rest of his life. Yes Light is cruel to her too, but if at any time Misa decided that she’d had enough, she could have Light killed so easily. And the thing is I am WAY more compelled by this Misa. I want her to be frightening and I want her to push Light in upsetting ways. Misa is demanding, wildly selfish, often manic, needy, and so so lonely. She is grieving her parents and grief makes her terrible and blood hungry and incapable of being alone. And yet she is still doing something horrific to Light. I just like my fiction just dripping with conflict and confusing power dynamics.

One more! I HATE When Light’s family is depicted as totally abusive or perfectly lovely. I think Light is a product of his family—they are well off, he is a cop’s son, he is the first born son. Light is very very privileged. But he is also held to unreasonably high standards. He is also under an incredible amount of pressure to be perfect, to continue to hold his grades, to continue to be special. It’s easy to be special when you’re 5 and reading chapter books before you’ve been enrolled in kindergarten. It’s much much harder to be special at 20 when everyone has started to catch up. When you are in first place, second place looks terrifying, it looks like failure. I think Light’s family has inspired a deep sense of fear in Light and I think he doesn’t understand this. I dislike openly abusive Yagami family because well… Light would get it. He would know where his fears and displeasure come from. Perfect family just… bores me. It feels untrue—speaking as someone who was raised “gifted” (stupid word, but it defined all of my early life). I think his father yelled at him while he was learning his times tables, I think his mother seemed to love him more when he was bringing home prizes. I dont think he was ever hit.

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

this is untagged sorry

The hardest thing for me to grapple with post emotional abuse is coming to terms with how much of it was likely done on purpose, the fact that it WAS actually abuse, and how much it is affecting me years later cause ive never properly addressed it w/ real guidance.

I dont even know how to explain that it’s not even just a matter of like. oh i’m mad/sad this person treated me like shit it’s more like the way I was treated seeps into how I interact with people to this day! but if I like . talk about it i may have to deal w/ assholes who think i couldn’t get over a high school ex or something. god forbid they live through someone completely eroding their sense of self. I can’t even explain how that feels, but it made me suicidal. It felt like I’d only stop feeling like I belonged to her (not with her, TO her) if I were dead. (thankfully it went away). it’s not even about Her as a modern day person, but the construct of her that exists in the past. I never have nightmares where she looks how she actually looks nowadays, it’s only ever how she looked as a teen. When I get triggered because there’s someone who looks like her, it’s the same way. It’s the past version of her that haunts me.

Not to mention how warped my view of sexuality got. I became too eager to sexually please people, im lucky that im in a healthy relationship where im not exploited anymore. I started off associating affection heavily with performing sexual acts… My body doesn’t react to stimulus that used to turn me on. I have a time limit during sex until I’m just not able to continue, regardless of what happened. Idk if it was dysphoria before top surgery but anything involving my chest would make me tear up because of what she did to me. I bend down and pick things up in such a specific way because of how she used to see me as a sex object. She didn’t respect my dysphoria. She touched my chest through my binder or would stick her hands under it, because her pleasure was more important than my comfort.

I put up such a facade of stoicism and strength after breaking up with her because any hint of vulnerability with her had me treated as an inconvenience. I was such a confident and self assured person before I dated her, a defense mechanism for how much I was outcasted by others sure, but I didn’t let people try to get me down. But I slowly let her sand the edges off of me because I felt I would lose her if I didn’t. I was someone who wasn’t afraid of telling people when something was wrong or when I was bothered, but with her I accepted it. I felt resigned to it. She’d lash me into submission.

I always thought maybe she was like that cause she was just an emotionally immature teenager who didn’t know better. But I don’t think so anymore. She admitted to me that she was being demanding and cruel (“pestering”) because she wanted sexual pleasure from me but was so mad that I didn’t have time to invite her over. She lied to my face about respecting whatever decision I made irt leaving her out of my life or letting her back in… Only to guilt trip and try to manipulate me into letting her back in, not taking no for an answer until I told her to back off and blocked her. Most people with shit exes just complain about how much they sucked. I saw her when she was working once years later, froze in a panic, and ran away out of desperation. Her sending me a message to reconnect with me after we broke up while I was working through trauma sent a chill up my spine. that’s not normal.

I won’t ever know her train of thought when we dated. and she would never give me an honest account of that. she may not have calculatedly went “i’ll act like this to make them do that” but she expressed her feelings with the expectation that I’d change my behavior to please her, then lashed out when it didn’t work. I thought she just didn’t want us to argue when we disagreed with something… but getting your partner to shut up about a topic you disagree with them on, then essentially saying fuck you to them when they bring it up again later is… Bad. and I really do mean Shut Up. She’d tell me to drop a conversation at any sign of a disagreement, and I thought this was reasonable because we agreed we wouldn’t talk about religion (she was a christian at the time, i was an atheist and still am one) but it didn’t stop at that.

I have a difficult time processing all of it. I still have a hard time believing she acted the way she did as a conscious choice, especially because of our ages at the time (14-16). I don’t even really know what a reasonable expectation would be for someone to act at that age, because I don’t even remember what it was like. genuinely. When I look back at it all, it feels like there were a few years where someone else was in my body instead of me. I don’t quite remember my thought processes. I remember how I felt, I just don’t feel like my decisions were my own. Just a poor child who I watched go through all of that.

This way longer than I thought it was going to be and I don’t even feel like I scratched the surface of how I’m feeling right now. I just feel damaged and it has nothing to do with her, who she is as a person, right now and more to do with the fact that I feel like a plate that was thrown at a wall, shattered, and somewhat glued back together. I have cracks all over me and it’d be ridiculous to act like I don’t. I’m not a “broken” person per say but I’ve been changed