#but it looks so fun to have them be different classes
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our-hextech-dream · 2 days ago
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also there's something to be said about how, prior to the (unpopular) rework of the champion skarner, piltover's wealth and dominance of trade was based entirely on the fact that they were an imperial power operating in shurima, extracting resources (raw hex crystals) from hibernating sentient beings. which killed them.
(s1 of arcane, afair, did not bring that little fun fact up At All, choosing rather to have jayce just Obtain The Crystals Offscreen without mentioning at all where they originally came from.)
piltover was the only nation in runeterra who knew where the creatures could be found (even in piltover, that knowledge was restricted to just the ferros clan) so they were the only nation in the world that could harness hextech and decide what it was used for. their complete monopoly over hex crystals was why zaun was never ever going to be able to plucky attitude and bootstraps their way out of exploitation no matter what. it's also why so many zaun champions were scientists or doctors (or their creations) - without access to hex crystals, someone had to find something else, anything else, to keep zaun powered and its people alive.
now, thanks to the skarner rework, that messy little hex crystal detail has been retconned out of existence and the hex crystals are totally morally pure and uncomplicated and available to everyone. (probably) (if they can afford it) (which makes the zaunites look stupid for CHOOSING chemtech and shimmer when hextech was right there! why didn't they just buy hex crystals or go get their own? probably because all zaunites are evil lazy criminals who love living in the smog.)
it's so inchresting how riot seems to be backing down hard (and sloppily) from ANYTHING that could read as critique of or even reflection on unrestricted exploitative capitalism. they wanted the steampunk victorian aesthetic but not the reality that that whole era only functioned on the backs of a massive exploited class, so they got rid of it. it's all magic now, no oppression or exploitation or genocide! no reflection of reality whatsoever! play our game! don't think about the lore it doesn't matter and never did! the characters are just barbie doll caricatures of different tropes! buy our 500 dollar skin!
The more I think on it, Arcane season two fundamentally doesn’t work as a story for Zaun or Piltover because it misses the entire point of the two cities: in a world of magic, they are cities of invention and science.
Visually, they’re based on Steampunk and Cyberpunk, which works for what both cities represent. Steampunk is associated with the Industrial Revolution, particularly in the Victorian era, and is thereby representative of invention and bringing humanity forward into an era of new technology, fitting for the City of progress. Meanwhile, Cyberpunk is associated with a society oppressed by technology, and often the rebellion against that society, or how the people suffer under it.
To Zaun and Piltover, magic becomes science, notably in the form of Hextech. It blurs the lines between the two, and truly does encapsulate the phrase ‘magic is just science we don’t understand yet’.
A lot of Piltover and Zaun’s champions are designed around this idea, and it’s what creates the unique appearance of the region.
This focus on technology and how discovery impacts the people also worked in season one’s favour, as it felt more down to earth almost, despite the fantastical world, and allowed us to explore the society over the fantasy, which worked for the story Arcane told.
Season two flipping this on its head, and making the science into magic, erased the identity of Piltover and Zaun and what made the lore and the characters unique from the rest of Runeterra in the first place. It makes the world feel smaller in the process as well.
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scimagic · 2 days ago
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Any tips for artist tryna improve their art? Love ur art and would love to some tips and tricks of yours! ^^
BOOHOO;; THANK YOU!! THAT'S SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT TO ME;; Like what do you mean you like what I do enough that you want to hear some tips from me!! DON'T MAKE ME CRY FHDJKSA
I really really tried to make things short for you but I don't think I was very successful dkhkdh but I hope you find them useful!! <3
Tracing (not the stealing kind):
Tracing is not bad when it's used to study, some of my college assignments were copying renaissance artists' sketches! Hell, when I was a kid I used to trace Undertale fanart I liked and look where I'm at fhjkads
When you study other people's styles, you can actually gather a lot of information like line weight or proportions, colors, even stylization. So get your favorite artists' pieces and really look at them for a long time, draw them, then apply what you learn into your own art. Just be careful to not steal or claim something as your own!
Focus on one area at a time:
Now you have to chose one area to practice on. You could tackle on many at a time but I find it easier to pinpoint what I would like to do first and then move on to the next thing.
There's a lot of subjects you can go into like anatomy, rendering, backgrounds, but you just have to find one area in them and get a lot of references.
For anatomy you can go into: muscle movement, figure drawing, body parts in different angles.
Rendering: Shading, lighting, color theory.
Backgrounds: Point perspective, different camera angles, landscapes or detailed room scenes.
Don't overwhelm yourself either! Take one thing at a time!
Dear god get a reference board:
Pinterest really helped me find styles I wanted to study and anatomy tips to incorporate in my art. It really relates to my first point but having an actual compilation of how things look next to you really helps. It also helps keeping them organized like so:
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Do The Thing™️ anyway:
I know it's repetitive but it genuinely works you have to trust me, practice does make progress. Stop letting fear hold you back on compositions you think are great or believe you don't have "enough skills yet" to work on them. You will never get enough skills if you don't try.
My college classes forced me to pick up watercolors and paint backgrounds and I learned a lot just from trying it out. Make mistakes!! Have fun! That's how you truly improve on your skills!
Be patient and loving with yourself (and your art!):
I cannot stress enough how important it is to love your art in order to grow. You NEED to learn how to be patient with your art AND your journey because it will never compare to anyone's!! Art is not a competition nor a race, it's a medium to express yourself through a process you like. That's why there's millions of art styles and why each of them cater to a different audience!
Once you do, you can actually ask important questions like "Did I like the process? What can I improve on next time? What's something I liked I want to continue incorporating into my art?", and it helps with self esteem too.
And last but not least:
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Have fun!!
Art is a journey of self-discovery, it's not meant to be something that weighs you down or makes you feel bad when you're not working on it. Take constant breaks! No matter how short or how long! If you get tired or incredibly frustrated at it, then it's probably best you take a break from it!
Thank you for listening and supporting me!! I love you!!
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llively-12 · 2 days ago
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Lost in your moves
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Hirai Momo x female reader
Warnings: Self doubt, mentions of Jihyo, Nayeon, and Sana, mentions of alcohol and partying.
Story: You meet momo during the preparations for sixteen. The Japanese dancer steals your attention right away.
Authors note: This is my first story. I honestly think I went through the five stages of grief while writing this. It took so long to write the story, and I was very hesitant with everything I wrote, but I think that I'm happy with the end product now. English is not my first language, so if there are any mistakes, I apologise profusely. I hope you enjoy reading it♥︎
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The sounds of bedsheets ruslting and the warm feeling of the sun wake you from your sleep. Your dream is long gone and already forgotten as you stretch your limbs, earning a few pops.
This is your third day in South Korea, and also your third day at the JYP company. Even though Korea is an amazing new experience, you're still doubting your decision to move here.
The company noticed you through simple videos that you posted on social media. Your passion and talent in dancing gave you a fair amount of media attention. But you never thought that such a big company would want you as a trainee.
Your parents were doubtful. No normal parents just sent their child off to practice at a company far away from home. You had to do a lot of chores and improve your grades to convince them. After all, they just wanted to look out for you. You knew that this could be your big chance as an idol, or just another waste of time as your grandparents said.
You were glad that they wouldn't be hearing from your escort to the company, as you begged your parents to keep this secret. It was something you wanted to experience on your own, without any negative disturbance. You didn't need the worried glances or the scepticism.
Your feet meet the cold ground, and small goosebumps rush over your body as you get up from the bed, the blanket falling from your waist and onto the mattress. The room is small. Two beds, a small bathroom, a table, two closets, and a window. The door connects to the hallway. Other trainees settled in around the same times as you did. Though you haven't spoken to them yet.
You were focused on unpacking and getting to know your new home. Meeting new people was always a rough path for you. Awkward talks were your daily occurrence, and you still needed to figure out how to act here. Were you one of the shy ones? The cool dancers? The super sick vocalists?
Questions that plaqued your mind from day one. You heard that you'd be getting a roommate. But she hasn't arrived yet. You hope it's someone cool, as your feet drag over to the bathroom.
The sound of shoes squeaking against floorboards echoes the practice room walls. The mirror wall is slightly fogged up. Sweat rolls of your forehead as you try to keep up with the song playing through the boxes.
The feeling of your sweaty shirt sticking against your skin fills your mind. Your moves get sloppier, and your feet rush to new positions. The song stops abruptly. You freeze, your head moving until your eyes meet another pair.
"Your movements are sloppy, and you're too slow. Try keeping up with the tempo." The dance teacher is strict, direct, and mean. Nothing you ever experienced within dancing classes.
Your dance skills are based on passion, binding experiences, and mostly trust. Back in your hometown, dancing is something people do for fun. Nobody looks for the small mistakes. It matters that the people are having fun.
Here, it's different. You can't even remember a moment when you wanted to quit dancing this bad as you are right now. The dance teacher waits for you to start over. She raises an eyebrow.
A red hue tints your cheeks as you quickly move into the starting position. The song plays from the top, but it's not long until it stops again.
The same critique. The same look. The same annoyed and bothered tone in her voice as she 'corrects' your form. Frustrations build up within you. You huff and get back into your starting position. The day goes on with sharp critique, suppressed anger, and hidden tears, rolling from your face anytime she wouldn’t look.
The way back to your room is filled with silence. You’ve never been this devastated after any dance practice. Your self-doubt keeps growing with every day you stay at this company. Why would they court you if you’re apparently this bad?
It doesn't make any sense. Metaphoric dark clouds wrap around your head, your mind too caught up in the rage, and the worry that you don't notice almost running into someone. Only the slamming of her shoulder against yours pulls you out of your tunnel thoughts.
Her hair is dark, almost flowing in the air with the speed that she's walking. You don't notice her face or her outfit, but she leaves an impression. You stumble, and your body tilts to the side.
A puff leaves your lips as you shake your head and keep going.
You haven't entered your room since practice this morning, so the new suitcase and the bag surprise you. Had someone entered your room? Did your roommate arrive? Who is she, and why isn't she here?
You avoid bumping into her stuff and head for the bathroom. The warm shower soothes your tense muscles and takes your mind off of the problems you faced during practice. The air takes over the smell of your shampoo, and it almost feels like you're home again, back with your family.
A smile adorns your face, the thought of your family bringing you joy. You step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body while still blissfully thinking about good memories.
Nothing could ruin your mood. Not even the girl that now sits on the other bed opposite from yours, staring at you.
Wait.
You freeze in your tracks and look at the girl. A scream leaves your mouth as you hide behind the bathroom door, peeking out to stare into the bedroom.
The girl looks equally as shocked. Her eyes wide open. She lets out a squeal and covers her eyes.
"Who are you?" You ask the girl with slight panic.
But she doesn't answer. Her hand moves around on the bed to find something. She is still holding her eyes closed with the other one.
Multitasking is not her strong suit as she knocks something of the bed. You quickly rush into the room and throw on some clothes, not bothering which one you picked.
"It's fine, it's fine. I'm dressed. You can open your eyes now."
But she doesn't. She's sitting there, biting her lip anxiously. It does look a bit stupid, but you also wouldn't react any other way.
You take small steps to approach her. Your hand slowly lifts up and meets hers. You take her hand off of her eyes and smile slightly. It's an awkward smile, but the best you can offer for now.
Her wide dark eyes meet yours. She honestly looks like a racoon. She offers you a shy smile back.
Both of you don't know how to respond. The evening ends with you going to bed early. She hasn't spoken a single word the whole time since she arrived here. It's odd, but you're not better if you think about it.
Why is she so much better than you?
That's the only question that has been running through your mind since you've watched her dance.
Her name is Hirai Momo. She is about the same age as you, and she is from Japan, which explains why she's not that talkative. Her korean is basically none existent.
Momo has been a dancer since she was three years old. She was also spotted by the JYP company. You’ve heard these rumours during lunch.
The way her body hits the moves better than yours ever will makes you almost storm out of the practice room. But you don't want to act like a toddler. Your dance teacher is already annoyed with you. An incident like this could get you eliminated.
You have never experienced it, but the stories almost fly through the company halls. Trainees that were sent home because of their "bad" performances.
There's also been rumours about mistreatment towards trainees. All of this makes your stomach churn.
Her shoes don't squeak when they move over the floor. They stomp in confidence. Her arms don't flail around like yours between position changes. They sit tight or have a different pose to hit.
It's almost like she's been here before. Danced this routine before you did. Why is she so good?
Jealousy boils inside you like it's never done before. You have never been a jealous person, never wished for someone to make a mistake or do something wrong, but this, this was different.
Everything that had been pushing you down the past week kept getting heavier. It's like you're about to crumble under the weight. Your legs feel like jelly even though you're sitting. Your arms feel like they are burning from over exhaustion even though you're resting them.
It's like an endless spiral, pulling you down a long path of confusing emotions and rash thoughts. Your fists clench, and your feet push into the ground.
The music fades away, and the song is over. You have never made it this far in any dance routine. The trainer always stopped you before you had even gotten the chance to approach the end of the song.
It's frustrating, and it's making you tired, and mad.
Your eyes squint a faint little bit as they meet hers across the room. You try to seem nonchalant, but you're not. You're literally about to explode with pent-up frustration.
Her eyes soften a bit. It almost looks like she's pitying you. You don't need her to worry. You don't need her at all. You want her gone. Out of this room, out of this company.
"Y/N?"
The trainer looks at you. Your body moves up and gets into position.
Every dance move is shaky, uneven, almost incorrect. You have never been this bad.
The trainer stops the song with a sigh. Her eyes eat you up like a lioness. The sheer panic that runs through your vains as soon as her gaze meets yours is indescribable. Like you're about to suffer from a panic attack.
"Maybe you should train with Momo. She could teach you a lot."
Those words shatter you. You want to cry, to run away. This was not how you imagined your career to be going.
Sure, there would be rough paths, but this was just pulling at your ego, pulling at your self-esteem.
We're you really that bad?
The atmosphere in your room is tense. Momo had been sitting on her bed, varying between staring at the wall or her phone. She was still very quiet.
You, on the other hand, were trying to get some sleep. All of this stress has been eating you up.
Your blanket is fluffed up, and some plushies are sharing your warmth. The sound of soft breaths and occasional sounds from the hallway fill the air. Your eyes had been stealing some glances at Momo, gauching at what she was doing.
You would be lying if you said you weren't a tad bit interested in her. She caught your attention after the last few dance practices.
Her hair is silky black, and her eyes are a very dark brown, almost black. The way they ghost over her phone screen and focus on different words is almost enthralling. Sometimes, she licks her lips if they are dry.
You don't notice her also looking at you until she clears her throat. It's a very awkward croak sound. It sounds like she's having a voice crack.
She glances at you, her cheeks lightly pink from embarrassment. Your cheeks match hers quickly. You quickly turn to the wall and pull your blanket higher up, so it's covering your ear.
You just hope she doesn't think that your behaviour is weird.
It's still dark outside as your alarm wakes you from your peaceful slumber. You haven't had this much of a rest in days. You put out the alarm and get up a bit quicker than usual. There is dedication pinned in your mind. The dedication to get better.
Momo's arrival had only shown you how much more you needed to improve. This wasn't a place where you danced for fun. This is a competition, and if you don't keep up, you're out.
Momo has also gotten up. She is in the bathroom, doing her hair. You get next to her and brush your teeth. The silence is awkward. She smiles at you, and you smile back.
You don't even know if Momo is annoying or just a bit clumsy. You can't really stay mad at her for long, either. It's like she's an exception to every condition in your head. Like your mind just makes up excuses to like her, even though you don't want to.
She's got this special something that you just can't explain. The way her body moves when she dances. The way her eyes focus while she learns korean. And the way she looks at you.
At first, you hated the way she looked at you. Now it's like you need her to look at you, to notice you, and your dedication to meet her standards. You feel like some crazy fan who tries to impress their idol, and in some ways you were.
During the days that Momo got here, she befriended another Japanese girl, Sana. They always chat during lunchtime or hang out after practice. I guess it's just a relief that someone here speaks the same language that she does. You sometimes wish there were also people from your hometown. Just someone who knows how you feel.
Jihyo nudges you while you're staring at your phone. She's been your only friend since training started. Her warm and open personality makes you feel welcome. She was also the one that initiated this friendship.
Jihyo is one of the top trainees. Amazing voice, a powerful dance, and the perfect stage presence. Everything an idol needed. You're still wondering why she befriended you, though.
It's not like you're the most entertaining, or funny, or interesting. You're just there most of the time, just hanging around and not bothering the trainees around you.
It’s like Jihyo is mostly hanging out with you out of pity. She never made her intentions clear or showed her ulterior motives with you.
„Isn’t Momo your roommate?“ Jihyo broke through your thoughts. She always made you come back to earth when you were high up, somewhere between spacing out and almost falling asleep.
You nod and focus your gaze on Momo. She’s talking with Sana, sometimes laughing at a joke the other Japanese girl made.
jihyo notices your gaze. Her smirk widens. She nudges you again.
„Are you into her?“
„What? No…“ Your head snaps to jihyo, but after a tiny amount of consideration you turn your head back to Momo. Well she is beautiful, and talented, and funny, and-
„Stop daydreaming and ask her out.“ Jihyo interrupts you again.
„You know I can’t. The company is strict with dating. Let alone with queer couples.“
Jihyo quietens down. She knows about Koreas problem with queer couples and the social views. She herself has experienced it. The way people look at you, when they suspicion something.
Jihyo had told you a few days ago that she had a situationship with Sana. It's funny how both you had fallen for the Japanese girls. Jihyo mentioned that they made out after a party. Sneaking out at night and partying was something most of the trainees did. You, on the other hand, were an exception, being too busy and focused on training and improving to party.
“I know how it is. Maybe you should let loose sometimes and come with me. The club is not far from here, and it’s hidden from the company. Nobody cares if you make out with a girl. At least not there.“
„I don’t know, ji, but maybe I want more than just making out. I’m confused.“
„I’ve seen Momo at the club. And she is not confused when it comes to making out with other girls-
"Shut up, jihyo."
Both of you stay silent.
"You should really go for it, though. Imagine the regret you'll feel when things don't go the way you planned. Then you wasted an opportunity."
Later that night, jihyos words still linger in your mind. Maybe you should hop onto the opportunity. As your body slowly drifts to sleep, you think of Momo and how you could ask her out.
Jihyo throws some clothes at you. It had been a week since she ‚dared‘ you to ask Momo out. Only now you realised your potential. Jihyo immediately arranged a sneak out to the club. She had many contacts around the trainees. One other trainee, Nayeon, mostly arranged club nights and searched for different clubs to attend.
Well, you don't exactly have any clothes that match a party night, so Jihyo decided to help you out. She had been out and about at the club for a few solid times, so you trusted her. She's going with Sana tonight. The Japanese girl would meet her later that evening.
The more you think about tonight, the bigger your concern grows. What if Momo doesn't show up to the club? Or worse, what if she thinks you're a total loser and won't accept your confession?
"Try this on." Jihyo throws some dress at you. It's short and body tight.
You put it on and awkwardly glance at Jihyo. The older girl whistles and winks at you.
"Don't worry. You look hot."
"Thanks..."
"Come on. Get your spirits up. I'll bet she will like you."
"I hope she will..."
Loud music drums through the club. The smell of sweat and alcohol dominates the air as many people are moving their bodies on the dancefloor.
You stand at the wall, observing every face, every emotion that you can find. It's not like you don't want to dance or drink. It's just that you can't really grasp the energy of this club. The vibes are not really getting to you.
Jihyo had been long gone ever since she saw Sana. 'She is so lucky,' you think to yourself as you take another small sip from your glass.
The taste lingers on your tongue as the liquid burns down your throat. You haven't had any alcohol in this long, and even the thought of drinking makes you quite dizzy. Not to mention that you didn't eat anything beforehand, so now the alcohol has a strong effect on you.
It's only then that you spot her face across the room. She is dancing. Why shouldn't she? Her moves are amazing, and your eyes linger on her while you take another sip.
She doesn't notice you immediately, but when she does, it's like her whole mood changed.
Suddenly, you're too shy about this. The music, the smell, the people. It's all too much. You flee towards the bar and order another drink while gulping your recent one down.
The bartender eyes you with suspicion, but he doesn't question your intent and pours you another drink.
From there on, only blurred memories enter your mind. Slurred words leave your mouth, and drunk movements make mistakes.
The headache almost kills you. Your eyes are faintly opened while you try to locate where you've stranded. Jihyo shakes her head as she notices your state. Next to her is Sana. She giggles a bit and then goes back to learning Korean. The sound of her pencil scribbling something down is the only sound for a while.
Jihyo almost glares at you.
"Are you out of your mind? We had to carry you back here. Is that your definition of 'partying' and 'asking someone out'?"
She is mad, and you know it. Her eyes almost glowed red from anger.
"Sorry..."
You could voice act as a frog right now, all croaky and raspy.
You don't remember anything from last night. The blurred thoughts keep your actions hidden from your mind.
"Momo enjoyed it, though. I don't know what she sees in you."
What? Momo enjoyed what?
"Can you guys give me the details of what happened last night?"
"You were all over Momo. Not in that way, but you were talking her ear off. Something about her dancing? I don't know."
Jihyo muses and helps Sana with her korean homework.
"So nothing embarrassing happened?"
"Not that I remember."
Your head falls back into the pillow. How could you be this embarrassing? You just hope Momo is not freaked out by your behaviour yet.
Momo is mostly found in the dancing room. Today seems to be no exception, as you see her getting ready for another dance practice.
After making yourself known, you talk with her for a while. Or at least you try to.
Her korean is still a bit broken, but you're both trying your best to communicate and make out each other's sentences.
You apologise for your behaviour and invite her to hang out at a local restaurant.
She agrees and seems to be very happy about the invitation.
The rest of the day is filled with laughter and getting to know each other. It's almost healing as you two haven't had a nice conversation in weeks, both too shy to strike up a conversation with the other person.
Now it's almost like you've known her for weeks. She is still a bit reserved, but it's not that bad like it was when you guys first talked.
The atmosphere of the restaurant is nice. Warm lights fill up the place and give it a cosy vibe. The smell of fresh Asian food fills your nostrils and engraves in your mind. You slurp up some noodles and smile at Momo, who is sitting in front of you.
She is focused on her food and rarely glances up at you. You smile to yourself. It's endearing to see her love for food.
"How are you?"
You break through the silence and the sound of dishes clattering. Momo looks up.
"Fine. You?"
"I'm good as well, thanks."
Momo smiles and does little thumbs up. The evening is filled with little conversations and a bit of flirting.
You learn about her hometown and her past. It's nice to hear her talk about things she adores. On the other hand, you try to tell her about your past.
You compliment her on her dancing skills, and she smiles.
It's a bit awkward, but enough for two teenagers that try to have something romantic. Jihyo will definitely laugh at you.
After you finish dinner, Momo and you take a walk around the streets.
You both end up at a park near the company. The air is nice and crisp, wind blows through your hair, and pushes small strands into your face. You both sit down on a bench and watch the night sky.
Tomorrow would be another day at the company, filled with practising and exhaustion, but neither you nor Momo seem to care. It's like the night slows down the time.
Trees in the distance rustle, and leaves fall from the small branches into the grass. Autumn is on its way. You zip up your jacket and glance at Momo.
She is already looking at you. Her eyes rake over your face, and she analyzes the different features. You would give millions to hear her thoughts right now.
But, that's not necessary. Her hand meets your cheek. It's warm and comforting. Her thumb slowly rubbed over your bottom lip. Your mouth parts slightly to catch a breath, and before you know it, she's kissing you.
It's more of a peak, but that does not matter right now. Her lips are slightly chapped due to the cold weather. Your hand finds hers and slowly interwines your fingers.
A few more pecks are shared, and as the air gets colder, the sky grows darker. The only thing that's important is you and her.
Nothing matters. Just her kissing you. You don't know if this thing would last. You just hope it will.
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zellk · 1 year ago
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Not quite done with this lil doodle but I gotta share bg3 Lana's girlfriends...
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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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akai-anna · 8 months ago
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shinichi: *takes a deep breath* shinichi: i lo- anyone who has spent five seconds around shinichi ever: yes, you love ran, we know, you love mōri ran so much, she's the light of your life, you love her so much, you just love ran, we KNOW , you love ran you fucking love ran ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE MŌRI RAN. WE GET IT.
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ruvviks · 9 months ago
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"The outer reaches of space remain unexplored by humankind to this day, but its greed is relentless. We grasp and yearn and hunger for knowledge— answers to questions we cry out into the endless void expecting to understand, expecting the stars to respond. The stars will not, but one day something else will— and we will not like what it has to say." — Rome Solomon, Beyond the Exosphere (1965)
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#obscura#edit:rome#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#ok so. ok hi. red and i made a new universe hi. sorry. morris quincy victor and eleanor belong to them the rest belong to meee :3#the pictures i used are basically the patron saints of their occupation / line of work! so that's not what they look like#anyway it's a mix of paranormal stuff + lovecraftian horror + sort of zombies :^)#they're like. the domains of lucifer (demons) behemoth (zombies) and leviathan (the eldritch horrors that happen in space and oceans)#who are like. the three evils that torment the mortal realm#it's all in a historical setting kind of parallel to our world? so a bunch of historic events are the same but it's like#a little bit more advanced with technology but at the same time it's not. it's Just A Little Different y'know#rome's sister went to space for a mission and just straight up went missing which prompts him to become an astronomer#and he's the first one to start speculating the existence of leviathan as eldritch god#morris is a technician at the academy who has an angel stuck in his computer#eve is a nun and herbalist who witnesses the influence of behemoth firsthand through some sick travelers#that she and the other nuns of her convent take care of#anatoly and quincy are both from different space missions who end up as the only survivors who are not basically a plant#the other two survivors have secretly been replaced with some sort of parasites. annihilation style if you've seen that movie#eleanor is a demonologist and works together with her brother victor who's her cameraman#clarence is a blind psychic who lost her sight because of an angel trying to warn her and in return got her psychic abilities#and lazarus is one of the two most famous demonologists in the world but his wife (the other one) passed away#so now he's alone and since he's not from an upper class family like his wife was he's not all that loved as she was#there's a lot going on but it's SO fucking fun to work on so far. feel free to send any asks i would love to explain more :^)#if you've made it this far also hi i love you. kiss for you
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roxyteal · 23 days ago
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Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) Hey there, 111! I hope we're not bothering you.
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) Not at all. What is it?
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) Would you like to join the repdigit club?!
Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) We can talk about random stuff and have get-togethers and such… It'll be a blast. Also, you're the last one around.
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) No thank you. Maybe ask the others.
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) Ah, I see. And that's the thing. I did. These two are the only ones who, well…
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) Oh. That's a shame.
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) Repdigit club, you say? Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear.
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) That's right!!
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) That does sound fun. Oh, if only I were a repdigit. I would've joined.
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) ; CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) ; Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) Sorry, 110…
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) It's not your fault. Hm, you sure about this? You're very lucky, after all. The next one, 222, isn't due for a while.
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) Positive. It's just a number.
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) ; CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) ; Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) "Just a number"? "Just a number"??? "Just a number"…?
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) If that's so, then if it was possible, I'd switch mine with yours.
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) Wait, can we do that?!
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) You would ruin the system. The order of Daves would lose all meaning. No one would know who arrived when.
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) We wouldn't be losing numbers, only swapping them. 127 would show up as normal. And, although a little more confusing, the changes could still easily be explained.
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) You should've moved in a bit later. Just admit to your jealousy and move on.
Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) Whoa... That's pretty cold. Guys, maybe we shouldn't let him join; his circuitry's missing the fun module.
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) Uh- Hey now, there's no need to start a fight! Um, sorry for disturbing you, 111. We'll be leaving now.
GearsStillTurn⚙️ (@DAVE_111) Goodbye. You're more than welcome to come visit again at your leisure.
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) Ha ha, I'm good, thank you!!!
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Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) 110? Sorry about that. I didn't expect him to, um. React that way.
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) Again, it's not your fault. I suppose we Daves can get a little crabby sometimes, right?
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) That's putting it mildly!!
Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) And we're not "just a number". Repdigits don't happen very often. It's too bad he couldn't see that…
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) Well, anyway, when they finally come here, I hope you three have better luck with 222.
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) I hope so too! I can't wait to meet them, one day.
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) Same here! And, if it helps you feel better: At least for now, this makes you… The Repdigit Trio?
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) Oh my gosh, you're right! We are!! The Repdigit Trio!!!
Daydreaming_Dave💤 (@DAVE_99) That does make us sound cooler…
CloudNine!☁️ (@DAVE_88) Right???
Dave🩹 (@DAVE_77) The Repdigit Trio… Yeah, I like that! Thank you for the suggestion, 110! It means a lot!
Balancing_Sound🎙️ (@DAVE_110) Of course! No problem. (Maybe if I just cut off my zero… Ah, but then there'd be two 11s. That would be no good. As rude as he was, 111 is right - I am jealous. Actively doing nothing with such a lucky number is so… Frustrating, when I would've put it to good use. Well, if joining a silly club counts as "good use".)
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i-havenothingelsetopost · 23 days ago
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genuine question, do you like maths?? i have a vague feeling i saw your post of tags or something that said something about it but i cannot figure out if it was in fact you or if it was even positive ahahah
Yeah that was me! I don't go looking for math problems, but when I happen to do them, I tend to enjoy it. Wasn't always this way — elementary school math was about speed and memorization and I hated that — but I had a really good teacher in upper secondary school, and it became about creative problem solving. It feels the same as writing a poem in meter or managing to untangle a really bad knot in a ball of yarn.
#i can't do math in my head or memorize formulas#and i'm not precise‚ which is bad for questions that are only numbers. like. 5+6=? type of stuff#because if all you need to is write the final answer‚ then if that answer is wrong‚ youve failed. don't get the points for the exam question#but! upper secondary school math! my beloved! (specifically lyhyt matikka‚ idk what pitkä is like)#there's a book that has all the formulas in it and you can use it and look them up even during exams. no memorization#it doesn't explain *how* the formulas are used but still#and there was more time than there ever was in my previous schools. and finishing fast did not mean you were better. i could take my time#and there were so many... worded questions? like instead of pure numbers they present the problem to you in words. phrases. prose#here is a situation. solve it#and you get to choose HOW to solve it#sometimes i could not remember how a formula worked‚ or hadn't quite figured out a recently taught technique yet#and i just. figured out a different way to solve the problem#can't remember the answer to 5x8? let's count 5+5+5+5+5+5+5+5 instead#38/7? lets draw 38 little balls in the margin and separate them into groups of 7 and see how many there are and how many strays get left out#like that but applied to lots of stuff#and it was enougj! it was fine! it was a valid way to solve it! i got the right answer!#unless i messed something up! a + turned into a - by accident somewhere in the middle of the equation#but! part of this level of math was that it was encouraged to write our whole thought process down#and i‚ unable to do it off the paper anyway#i wrote down ALL OF IT#and the teacher saw where i went wrong and that it was little precision things but that i had the techniques down and#i still got most of the points for those questions instead of losing everything because of an incorrect number at the end#these differences have meant everything#math is puzzles. puzzles can be fun#some of my first memories of math class are of me sobbing under my desk#i cried a few tears in all my matriculation exams too‚ even for my favourite subjects. but not math#one of the most important questions was a geometry one. i shine in that area#i grinned doing it
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protect-namine · 2 months ago
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you know, I think neji would enjoy playing dnd. getting to write stories and play characters with no limitations, and having to improv with the other players because he would never have full control of where the story was headed? it would be a dream come true, and also therapeutic. neji would of course be the dm who would "yes and" anything his players want to do. the story would be something everyone has input on and would help shape. an adventure that neji himself couldn't predict or write on his own. also, just imagine him describing his setting and doing all his character voices, he'd love that so much
I think it would be a good exercise for quartz too, because they'd have to make their own characters and backstories and roleplay in character without a script to direct them. especially to kisa "transparent vessel" tachibana, who can act out any character but is afraid of letting herself be seen through them. similarly, kai as well, since he'd be in charge of his own character instead of propping someone else up
on the flip side, fumi would get to enjoy playing a character but not having the pressure to be the lead/spotlight of a story. he's there to play, not perform
sou would also LOVE dnd. I think he'd be really into the character creation and lore, and is probably the next person I can think of who can try being the dm when neji is sick/tired/wants to be a player. he's the player who takes down notes and remembers one small detail neji mentioned four sessions ago that becomes relevant to the current session. neji loves him because sou is the one who appreciates his world building the most
suzu and fumi would instigate so much in the adventure, which neji would love. suzu makes a character everyone loves (like hachipochi) and always brings snacks to the table
fumi has read all of the player handbook, and mitsuki has read maybe a quarter of it (only the relevant parts to his character and how some dice rolls and combat work). mitsuki is also the one who doesn't put much effort into his character's backstory but unexpectedly gets big character development during the adventure, surprising everyone in the table including both the dm and himself
otori is very good at both roleplaying and combat, has created a compelling character, and tries to go on solo adventures but eventually gets roped into the party because he can't adventure alone in neji's setting
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#jack jeanne#this would also be like. a way less stressful way for them to practice improv than anything neji makes them do for the class lol#theater kids enjoying dnd? tale as old as time#i am unsure of everyone's classes except for kisa. kisa would be the bard. sou is probably a wizard#i like the idea of kai choosing warlock because then he'd have a patron to play off of#but neji forces him to roleplay more and exercise agency by making his patron unpleasant to be with lmao#i have no idea what fumi would be because like. if this was acting he'd be a high charisma character. but he's here to play not perform#i think the class closest to his natural self would be sorcerer but idk maybe he wants to do something different when playing#like... rogue. it's so un-fumi-like but it would be fun for him i think precisely because it's not like him#suzu is the one most unfamiliar with the rules so he chooses fighter/barbarian. he's very good nonetheless#also we need a melee character here or someone with high str lol#and suzu would enjoy being the athletic character who brings victory to the team#mitsuki looks at everyone's character sheets. sighs. chooses cleric because SOMEONE has to be the healer in the group :/#but he also likes being the support to everyone so it works out#just like with kai. neji makes mitsu roleplay more by making him frequently engage with his deity of choice#idk what otori would choose but i like the idea of him being a paladin. i think that suits him#neji is usually the dm but when he's the player he can be anything. he has the same problem as fumi#but while fumi chooses a character different from himself. neji would just go full eccentric#so maybe a druid who keeps changing to different animals. or an artificer with weird/creative inventions#actually i think sou would be a good dm for a neji who wants to play artificer. he'd be intimidated at first but he can roll with it
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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months ago
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Full Tech Day One pic today from kiko laureano (denizen of skid row / ensemble) & video (that's four seconds of "ya never know" playing over the static image) from & ft. marcia milgrom dodge (director / choreographer) double captioning "there might be puppets in this musical ;)" & "Well Shake my hand! Come see LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS @guthrietheater featuring @actually_will_roland's hand!"
#buzz lightyear screenshot i don't believe that's a puppet Or will roland's hand#lsoh#frog & toad shirt yay :) that i believe is saying ''frog & toad are gay'' yahoooo#in unfamiliarity with lsoh: had to look up that snippet of song. i do enjoy the full Songs i should straightup....pick an album of them?#which; relevantly to this being a show with Versions. also like i've only seen the movie once a minute ago....#i know the movie Differed like the musical going well audrey dies then so also does seymour :( does one tragicomically lose a hand first#classic Hey My Hand :( maneuver :( still i reflect on the change like i don't want them to die.... :(#it's Enriching though to reflect on. like a fun balance of ''is there shortcomings of Metaphors? maybe but it's backed up by Story''#then are there shortcomings of story? maybe but it's backed up by how that'll play into a strength of metaphor. makes it Overall Enjoyable#and that i'm not an expert like plenty to muse on re: what are the Metaphors. and then how are they executed. what do i think#and i'm enrichingly not quite settled on Should They Get To Survive; Metaphorically? like i think it's fine either way#i mean we also Have it both ways lol. i think? i don't know about past or present variations versions iterations re: Onstage Medium#it's like it's supposed to be tragic too right right cautionarily so. yet. i indeed go :( about it. i think it's fine it's fine....#or do i. as you can see lmao a fun In Progress mental journey....like pointing to Doomed Tragic Couple iphegenia crash land falls#i would Not change it i would not Want it changed. not even for a what if; really. yet their basis is Knowing They're Kindredly Doomed.....#seymour and audrey are just america's little t4t couple who Do deserve to murder orin plant or no & More :(#much to consider. and always little Invocations to spice things up like & this plant won't stop trying to fuck them i guess#nodding thoughtfully as we are also amidst aesthetics that invoke larger contexts re: race; class; maybe even. gender. and more????#love a lot going on. love that it's really not trying to Be extremely settled in some Conclusive manner in any version. tends to be a win#and love that SPIT TAKE rick moranis walking on into the closing performance of be more chill on broadway???????#enjoy that one post of [god's mistake of making me so incredibly attracted to rick moranis] '80s gum stickers. ricky m#guy who's never seen kapow-i gogo seeing another show with a prop hand: wow this is just like kapow-i gogo
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st4rstudent · 2 months ago
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is aotm going to be a macthinker fic?
Not exactly. Accident of the mind is (from what I'm planning) is going to end up dissolving into more of a character-dynamic story between those two freaks, so there will probably be hints of it but it won't be intentionally romantic.
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e-the-village-cryptid · 2 years ago
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i’m curious if there’s a link here, please tell me in the tags if your inner monologue has subtitles, whether or not you have a hearing or auditory processing disability, and whether or not you learned to read early and read a lot as a kid
(by subtitles i mean that you automatically visualize the written form of the words you are thinking. the way this actually happens can be anywhere from the written form of the words just popping into your head to an actual subtitle-looking area. the only criteria are that 1. you visualize the written form of most or all words 2. it is completely automatic and happens without trying or thinking about it)
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orcelito · 5 months ago
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
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I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
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I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
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I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
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Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
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Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
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DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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tasmanianstripes · 2 years ago
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Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but
Literally who gives a fuck about canon?
Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU
Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is
#thylacines can talk#Maybe that's the reason I do not have the same violent reaction to mischaracterisation 99% of fandom spaces seems to have#I genuinely think that getting butthurt over somebody not writing a fictional character exactly how they appear in canon is the stupidest#most juvenile pet peeve you could ever have. Literally WHY do you care so much? It's words on a screen. Calm down.#I think it's only a problem when you believe that it's canon or try to shove your own interpretation of a character or AUs onto everybody#else. Otherwise...literally who cares? Somebody else treating characters like dolls is not hurting me. I'm not about to get legitimately#annoyed over fictional characters in a children's cat book. Unless it's like. Bigoted. But then I criticise the person's beliefs not a#goddammed characterisation of a fictional character.#In the fandom I was in most of my life a trigger-happy clown with a chainsaw canon and an old deppressed asshole boss were seen as the same#character and only had like. One design detail in common. And literally nobody batted an eye. You could write a dynamic between two#characters being incredibly hateful and toxic and somebody else could write them as old friends or an old married couple and both of these#interpretations would be equally canon. A single guy could have two wildly different personalities and backstories and he'd still be#treated like the same character as long as the two looked vaguely similar physically wise. Sure there were interpretations of characters#that were more popular than others but literally the only people who would treat one specific interpretation as canon and shove that#interpretation onto everybody else would be people who came from different kinds of fandoms and let me tell you. They were annoying as fuck#So coming from that kind of fandom into more generic mainstream fandoms feels like such a culture shock. Genuinely cannot comprehend why#people care so much.#'oh this character is so far from canon they might as well make an oc' okay...cool...and?#Maybe they don't want to make an oc?? I mean come on. It's fictional characters. You're an adult. It's not a fucking English class#People don't come to fandoms to study book literacy they come here to have fun. Literally WHO CARES if somebody's interpretation of a#character has only name and looks common with the canon version. WHO CARES. ITS WORDS ON THE SCREEN. Who are they hurting if they're just#making AUs in their own corner and not shoving it in anyone's face?#Idk I just see a characterisation I don't agree with and just go oh. Kinda weird but go off. And move on.#This got longer than I meant it to but whatever#I mean if you have that pet peeve but aren't an asshole about it. It's also whatever. That opinion also doesn't hurt anybody. It's only#people who act so butthurt about it and shit on other people having fun that I have a problem with. If you put it on your own blog and#criticise that sort of content in your own space instead of coming to somebody and going 'hey. I don't like what you're doing'. Then I#couldn't care less. Again. That's kinda weird but go off#It's kind of like. I like horror but I dont care if you dont like horror and talk about it in your own space. But I'm gonna care if you#go up to horror fans and go 'hey I think horror sucks' or 'I dont like horror so you shouldn't either'.
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dancing-with-stars · 10 months ago
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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