#this would also be like. a way less stressful way for them to practice improv than anything neji makes them do for the class lol

[psychopomp-namine]

you know, I think neji would enjoy playing dnd. getting to write stories and play characters with no limitations, and having to improv with the other players because he would never have full control of where the story was headed? it would be a dream come true, and also therapeutic. neji would of course be the dm who would "yes and" anything his players want to do. the story would be something everyone has input on and would help shape. an adventure that neji himself couldn't predict or write on his own. also, just imagine him describing his setting and doing all his character voices, he'd love that so much

I think it would be a good exercise for quartz too, because they'd have to make their own characters and backstories and roleplay in character without a script to direct them. especially to kisa "transparent vessel" tachibana, who can act out any character but is afraid of letting herself be seen through them. similarly, kai as well, since he'd be in charge of his own character instead of propping someone else up

on the flip side, fumi would get to enjoy playing a character but not having the pressure to be the lead/spotlight of a story. he's there to play, not perform

sou would also LOVE dnd. I think he'd be really into the character creation and lore, and is probably the next person I can think of who can try being the dm when neji is sick/tired/wants to be a player. he's the player who takes down notes and remembers one small detail neji mentioned four sessions ago that becomes relevant to the current session. neji loves him because sou is the one who appreciates his world building the most

suzu and fumi would instigate so much in the adventure, which neji would love. suzu makes a character everyone loves (like hachipochi) and always brings snacks to the table

fumi has read all of the player handbook, and mitsuki has read maybe a quarter of it (only the relevant parts to his character and how some dice rolls and combat work). mitsuki is also the one who doesn't put much effort into his character's backstory but unexpectedly gets big character development during the adventure, surprising everyone in the table including both the dm and himself

otori is very good at both roleplaying and combat, has created a compelling character, and tries to go on solo adventures but eventually gets roped into the party because he can't adventure alone in neji's setting

[suzannahnatters]

all RIGHT:

Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT

(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)

This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.

If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.

By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).

Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)

So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies

FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.

What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.

Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.

Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.

So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.

SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life

When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.

For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.

So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.

Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.

I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!

[pigeonpeach]

Genshin men as cats!

Prompt: the genshin men are temporarily turned into cats for one day and you as their lover must take care of them and make sure they stay safe

A/n: idk what happened but apparently half of the post got deleted? I’ll have to rewrite it later ;(

Ayato

Oh he’s not happy. He’s probably a shorthaired white cat in terms of appearance. But he is quite annoyed with this predicament. No one is allowed to tell anyone that the Yashiro Commissioner is suddenly a cat. But being a cat is nice. He can lounge and nap all day. He’s probably demanding of attention though. He simply must have your eyes on him. He adores being brushes so lovingly too. Maybe he should have you brush his hair when he’s back to normal.

Al Haitham

Virtually no change. He may still try to read though he won’t be able to turn the pages as easily. He doesn’t mind a few pats but he mostly prefers to be left alone in the nice warm sun to nap the day away. He’s definitely a grey tabby.

Kaveh

He is so distraught! He meows a storm in fustration as he finds he is completely incapable of finishing his projects! You simply must take care of him! You need to have him strapped in like a baby carrier on your chest because he’s just so clingy. He needs constant reassurance and attention. He’s so needy but so cute. Probably a cute little cream colored kitty.

Kaeya

He is also probably a bit annoyed. While yes he gets a complete day off, he can’t do much as a cat. So he’ll probably try to find some entertainment if you don’t keep him thoroughly entertained. He will find a way to sneak out and go play with Klee or annoy Diluc if you don’t keep him in your grasp at all times.

Neuvillette

He is very confused but also curious. On one hand this form is verrrry different than he’s ever had before but its also very beneficial to him. People are far less intimidated and strangely he enjoys being coddled and pet more than he would. Of course miss Furina is teasing the crap out of him but he doesn’t really care. Sitting on your lap, small and warm. Its such a unique experience he will probably never have again.

Wriothesley

Once the dust settles he’s quite relaxed. This is temporary so might as well enjoy it. Sigewinnie has become very attached to him as she constantly makes sure he’s okay. But in particular he loves being held by you. He’s used to being the big strong man who lifts you all the time etc etc. its nice actually being the reverse here. He gets fed special fish from the cafeteria and gets to spend his day in your arms! The perfect break for him! He’s almost sad it’s temporary but he knows he can’t stay like this forever.

Childe

Oh he’s mad! Even when it’s confirmed to be temporary, he is annoyed! How can he improve his fighting skills if he’s a kitty! Sure he’s a adorable little kitty of course but he looks like a baby! Oh his ego is in shatters. It’s unfortunate too because it wasn’t even around his family so he could play with his little brother at least. He’s practically quarantined to keep him safe. He can’t go on kitty adventures. Therefore YOU must make it up to him. He spends his time sulking and trying to play with anything he can. Dangling uniform piece? New toy! Someone’s foot? New toy! He bites! He meows! He hardly naps. He does love cuddling with you though. Still he’s a ball of energy and he cannot simply sit still for long! No doubt will his office be trashed. You’re making him clean it up once he’s back.

Thoma

Stressed! So stressed! He has so many chores! He cannot hold a broom with two paws! You have to make arrangements for him to have the day off which was hard because everyone was upset by his sudden cancellation. Even so he tries to help. He tries to drag the broom but it doesn’t do anything unfortunately. Oh he feels so useless. You must pamper him. Lavish him with kisses and gentle praise. Call him the cutest little kitty in the world! Oh he’s such a affectionate boy too. He acts like a cat with separation anxiety almost. He cannot sleep if you’re not there with him. Therefore you end up spending the day with him, trying to dissuade him from trying to clean a mess and just making it worse, distracting him with a warm blanket and pets.

Zhongli

He probably did so on purpose actually. Perhaps he was a bit bored and decided to spend the day exploring Liyue from a different perspective. It was quite fun for him actually. He watched as people came over to pet him. Unfortunately they also tried to feed him seafood which wasn’t too good. But after the long day he returned home to see you panicked as to where he could be. He decided to come on over to you, still in his cat form, and distract you. It worked as he helped you relax.

You werent too amused when you found out that cat that broke in was him.

Pantalone

He is quite annoyed. Angry in a more agitated way. Don’t mess up his fur! Pet him properly! Don’t ignore him now! He is a demanding little feline. He is not content unless you are entirely focused on him. He even wants you to break up the fish ro serve to him. He isn’t going to eat like a animal! Oh but he is such s cute kitty. Entirely black with big expressive yellow eyes. Oh you can’t help but comply and spoil him a little more! And he has such lovely fur! He does like hearing your gentle praises as you pet him. He never knew how lovely it felt to be small, sleeping on a nice warm lap, being gently brushed, and told sweet little compliments. He may actually want to do this again sometime.

Diluc

Biggest drama king! How can he protect you or Mondstadt like this! Therefore you cannot leave his sight or he’s convinced you will immediately die. You must stay with him so he can protect you? He is a very warm kitty though so it feels nice to snuggle with him. His fur is a bit messy so you’ll have to brush it. Despite him trying to stay vigilant he ends up falling asleep quickly.

[onecornerface]

New study finds cash-transfers didn't have some expected benefits- But why??

A new study (NBER Working Paper) seemingly finds that a monthly cash-transfer ($1000 a month over a few years) to poor people in the US failed to benefit recipients’ mental and physical health or food security in a bunch of ways after the first year. It’s apparently more ambitious than some previous studies of cash transfers in the US. This may be some evidence that UBI doesn’t have all the benefits we’d like it to have for helping poor people or some subsets of them, which could impact future debates on UBI. There may still be consequentialist and/or deontological reasons to support UBI, but we need to ensure they’re aligned with the best evidence on the (good and/or bad) results (or lack thereof).

I’ve read the Twitter summary thread, and skimmed several sections of the paper (especially intro sections and Discussion), but haven't fully read the paper.

Some initial thoughts & questions I’m wondering about—

My main concerns are about the mechanisms, by which I mean how the cash-transfers impacted people’s behavior or psychology in ways that would bring about the measured results (assuming the metrics/results are valid). One of the most puzzling results is on food security.

“We also find that the transfer generated large and highly statistically significant improvements in food security in the first year. However, mirroring our results for mental health, these improvements were short-lived and, by the end of the program, participants in the treatment group reported no better ability to meet their food needs than those in the control group.” (Page 3)

If cash-transfers indeed fail to improve food security for a lot of people after the first year (yet apparently did help during the first year), why? What are the mechanisms by which it would fail?

From my armchair speculation, I can kind-of-sort-of imagine how psychological adaptation (or suchlike) may explain how cash may fail to improve mental health or stress after the first year, leading to something of a return to baseline (albeit with many reservations).

And some of the physical health results also might not be too baffling, since the relationship between income, medical care access, and health results, may well be complex and wonky. Medical access may be reduced by non-income factors, effective medical advice may not be taken up, and many medical practices may be ineffective. That said, there are still a lot of very plausible mechanisms as to how poverty would worsen health—it’s not all specious correlation (even if some is), and it’s not all the result of third-factors causing both poverty and illness (even if some is) and/or illness causing poverty. So there’s still some more explanation needed as to how a lot of these wouldn’t be impacted much, or would be impacted only temporarily, by cash transfers.

All that said, I’m still more puzzled by the food-security results. People’s food needs are a lot more consistent and predictable than their physical healthcare needs, and seem less likely to change due to any return to baseline.

Do the recipients develop a bigger appetite or altered metabolism after the first year? Do they start making worse (or at least, less food-focused) spending decisions, resulting in less money to spend on food? Or what? Was there something else they preferred to spend their money on, besides food, after the first year? Did they not have enough money to spend on food? Did rent take up so much they didn’t have money for food?

Maybe some of them spend more money on drugs or suchlike, resulting in less money for food—but the study seems to find mixed results as to whether drug use increased or not (see Page 36, and search the document for “drug” to see variations of the same claim throughout), and I assume a large chunk of the recipients didn’t spend a lot of money on drugs (even if there was also a large chunk who did). So, in any case, I don’t think very much of the food security result can be easily explained by “recipients spent the money on drugs instead of food.”

So… what gives? Why did food insecurity go down and then back up again??

I’ve skimmed the paper, and it looks like most of it consists in arguments that their statistical methods and suchlike are valid and not confounded, or suchlike. I probably don’t have the expertise to evaluate any of those arguments. But it doesn’t look like there’s much, if any, discussion on the mechanisms. Maybe it’s in there somewhere, I don’t know.

The results wouldn’t be magic. If they’re valid, they should be happening as a result of the recipients changing (or failing to change) their consumption patterns or other decisions or circumstances in various sorts of ways. So what are those? If there aren't any plausible mechanisms (which admittedly would be very hard to show), this could also be reason to question the validity of the results.

It sounds like the lead author, Sarah Miller, is in favor of cash transfers. So the negative results can’t be readily explained by a lead author’s bias against the policy.

Some of the failure may be explained by the fact that the study was only three years, and some benefits may take many years of cash transfers to achieve. However, this doesn’t address why the study did find a bunch of benefits in year 1 which then ceased in year 2. This pattern of benefits appearing and then disappearing also seems to count against the possibility that the study’s method was simply unable to detect the benefits. Apparently it did detect the benefits in year 1, which makes it puzzling why they disappeared in year 2.

A bunch of twitter commenters seem to think the study confirms UBI sucks actually, because poor people are just intrinsically shitty and make bad decisions that keep themselves poor and in bad health completely regardless of what the government does—as the critics had been saying all along.

I’m certainly open to the possibility that poor people tend to make bad decisions, and I want to guard against any politically-correct bias that wrongly rules it out. If and insofar as poor people make decisions that contribute to keeping themselves poor and in bad health (whether these decisions are bad or defensible, which is a further question), then we should want to know what those are, so we can work with them to improve their situations more effectively and ethically.

Many progressives are likely too biased toward underestimating the agency of some poor people, and may well underestimate how many poor people could somewhat improve their situation by making different decisions. I think we can concede a lot of these points without drastically undercutting the position that poverty is obviously extremely bad and unjust, that some forms of government intervention & redistribution are effective, and that the main in-principle objections to government redistribution are weak.

I’m also pretty confident that most of the critics are ideologically committed to the “poor people make bad decisions” hypothesis for biased and unempirical reasons—and also seemingly haven't put forward any detailed hypotheses for how exactly the “poor people make bad decisions” view actually explains the evidence.

Arguably, even if poor people make bad decisions, this isn't enough to explain how and why their consumption or lifestyle decisions (etc.) were impacted by cash-transfers in the right sort of ways to explain any of the main interesting data.

My ideas on the study here are all very provisional. But the study seems worthwhile for UBI proponents to get ahead of, and develop a well-thought-out empirical analysis as to what it does or doesn’t imply for UBI.

[ratsoncats]

I'm worried

Hi, I'm Gabe, I'm 19, and I live in the U.S.

I am a trans man. This is something that has been apparent to me for years now, and something I have suspected (or, in a way, hoped for) for most of my life. I have always felt a joy in aligning myself with the masculine as opposed to the feminine. There are countless personal experiences I could point to in order to show you how I know I'm trans. If you're curious, I could do that. But, for what I aim to say here, I don't think that is necessary. What's important to know is that I like living as a man, being seen as a man, and it burdens me with a deep discomfort and practical disgust to be perceived as anything but.

I've made a sort of peace with my body. My face isn't something I'd consider to be pretty and I keep my hair short. Baggy clothes cover my chest and the rest of my body well. Most days, no one has any idea that I'm trans and simply see me as some boy picking up a gallon of milk. I'm happy that that's the case; I know many others aren't as lucky. I still have my share of reservations about my body, though. I am perfectly fine with being short (to the extent that I even celebrate it), but my chest, my hips, and my thighs bring me dysphoria. (Genitals are a different story that I'd rather not get into on the internet with strangers.) These parts of me are usually easy to ignore, but when I focus on them for too long, sadness overtakes me. I don't want to look like this. I want to be flat, boxy, small. The image of myself in my head doesn't align with what I see in the mirror, and it drags me down.

Another part of me says that cisgender men can have bodies like this, too, and that I shouldn't feel like any less of a man because of it. A third part says that curvy and top-heavy trans men are still men all the same and that stressing over it won't bring any good. As much as it feels good to listen to these voices, I still long for my ideal body. I long because it's a personal desire of mine to look that way, plain and simple. I also long, however, to make day-to-day public life to go smoother. I want people to mistake me for a girl less and call me "sir" and "young man" more; I'd prefer my body to read as a more convenient physical shorthand for manhood.

So, for the sake of my comfort and continued enjoyment of my time on this earth, I'd like to change how my body looks. One way to achieve this would be through the use of testosterone, which, on top of rearranging the stores of fat in my body, would also provide me with the welcome bonus of increased facial and body hair. I am also very interested in receiving top surgery to make my chest more masculine. It lifts my mood just to think of what my body would be like after these treatments, even moreso to know that there is a real possibility that they could be done.

The current climate around trans topics worries me. All I want is to live comfortably, but discussions about criminalizing transness have me fearing the worst. I don't want to force anything onto anyone, to limit or in any way alter anyone's speech, insert myself someplace where I'm endangering others or putting them at a disadvantage, or publicly indulge in a fetish. I'm a simple man with simple desires of a flat chest and he/him pronouns, but there's an army formed against me and people with similar stories.

I'm an American. I believe in freedom. A deep respect for the freedom of speech is something my dad has instilled in me from a young age and that freedom is something I'm thankful for. I believe that if someone wants to say something, they should be able to, and that if someone wants to do something, given that it doesn't bring harm to anyone else (or their property, etc.), they should be able to do it.

There are gray areas that come with that idea, yes, but those are outside the scope of this discussion. What I want to address here are procedures that improve a person's quality of life, procedures like gender-affirming surgery. If this so-called "mutilation" is as bad as some would say, why are so many people happier for having undergone it? Should consenting adults really be kept from personal pursuits like top or bottom surgery? Cis people get cosmetic surgeries all the time, but I don't see the public uproar about those procedures being mutilation. I would also like to ask, what does it matter to you whether someone's genitals could cause or support a pregnancy? The decision to raise a child is a very personal one, and I don't think the general public's ideas need to hold much weight in a potential-parent-to-be's decision making process. If someone is okay with the fact that their body may not work as before and will have visible scars, I think they should be completely within their right to have a surgery or take hormones.

I'd like to revisit the topic of free speech. Someone speaking about their experiences and feelings in their body and about their gender should not be considered pornographic. The average conversation about trans people in no way serves to provide sexual stimulation. Topics regarding genitals and sex should not be confused with explicit content; sex ed is taught in schools, isn't it? Education on these topics is important for many reasons and can prevent unwanted, painful, and dangerous situations. Conversations about transness are simply a dialogue about people's experiences, often with the intention of educating their audience. Given that they aren't intended to get the audience off, they are not porn. People living their lives is not porn. Transness isn't porn.

It deeply concerns me to see people misconstruing what it means to be trans and trying to limits trans healthcare and voices. I have hope for the future, but recent discourse has buried that under a layer of anxieties.

I'm just a boy, sitting at his laptop, worrying about if he's going to have to live with B-cups for the next ten years of his life. Being vocal about issues like this is important. This is how change happens.

The conditions were just so that I decided it was about time I write this. This is my first time posting something like this, but I don't think it'll be my last. Let's keep this conversation going, and let's make this country and this world a place we're happy to call home.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

ten weeks left, five to go… two thirds of the way there! i am, indeed, le tired…. but it’s gonna be okay… this week is pretty full throttle but next week i’ll get at least one day off for thanksgiving, so that’s… something…

i had a major work win this week in that a kid i had been pulling my hair out over did WAY the fuck better than i thought he would on his first test sitting. it’s looking like he’s still going to take it again even though he has scores that are perfectly adequate for the schools he’s looking at, so… i am holding on to my most work-intensive client… but a) his sessions will no longer bum me out and b) i can finally feel confident that the 1 billion hours i have put into writing or compiling from various sources follow up problems because none of the one-stop-shop ones felt good enough have actually served a purpose and therefore i can feel less conflicted about my regrettably unkillable sense of professional integrity. two other kids also tested, one landing at “so close but not totally quite” and the other at honestly a little worse than i would have expected? but her next test date pretty far out so i’m not too stressed. (i am learning over time that the first couple times they take a test straight through, practice or real, it goes bad… sometimes they don’t improve despite my best efforts but even the ones that do wind up doing well almost always do worse than i expect for a while and then somehow pull it together through a process that remains mysterious even to me….)

i think i am going to try something this week which is to plan to work approximately 35 hours spread out approximately evenly. based on recent weeks this should be enough (and if it’s not enough i’ll know that soon enough to course correct) and i think going into the week with this intention will help with the part where like… there almost always is theoretically work i could be doing which is an annoying psychological cloud to have hovering around me. i feel like maybe aiming for “about 5 hours a day, including any sessions” will help me feel more balanced and hopefully more able to sort of compartmentalize and think occasionally of other matters lol. the trick with this kind of thing is not to let it oppress me under a rule of my own devising - it has often happened in the past that i find myself feeling totally insane about my struggle to live up to completely self-imposed expectations that don’y matter at all - but i feel like perhaps i am finally beginning to outgrow that tendency, because of how i have finally learned what it is like to feel actually pretty chill most of the time and how much i enjoy and cherish that feeling.

the other work related insight i have recently had is that i really do fucking hate getting up and having to do work before a set time (session) later that day, with the exception of just kind of gathering my materials digitally or physically for any sessions. updating the homework docs the morning after is both unavoidable sometimes and tolerable but it’s amazing how much worse it feels to prep a practice test i’m doing in 4 hours than one i’m doing even just as far away as tomorrow. i AM for the first time in a while going into this week going into monday fully prepped for all of tomorrow’s tutoring and ALSO caught up on admin work and it feels really nice and i hope that having a certain regular allotment of Work Time will make it easier for me to keep that up while also, like, doing laundry and stuff. (i find it hard to do multiple types of things a day so if i’m in a Chores Day then usually i’ll work as little as possible and then suddenly i have to prep a whole ACT by tomorrow… anyway)

the kitchen remains… acceptable! although i should at some point probably purchase “groceries.” room still very bad, is what it is. i only worked out a measly three times this week but at least one of them was full body day & another day was a hiit day that honestly was very fun but still has my calves knotted up three days later. i did not text g. bc i am a terrible friend. i did see the apprentice and it was not good and i did not mind bc jerbear ate as i knew he would and honestly sebstan was p. good too! i have started rereading jonathan strange & mr norrell primarily as a bedtime book bc it is a good inducement away from bedtime scrolling which has been a Problem, my sleep has NOT been great. actually that reminds me that i might start doing little mini versions of these nightly because i have come to really like this little sunday night ritual and the sense of closure it gives me on the week as well as optimism or at least fortitude for the week ahead, and i feel like it may be the case that doing a little “and this was the day that was” post may offer a helpful transition in moving into Bedtime Mode. (part of me is like, could i just do that in a journal…. but… the thing is i actually don’t think i could…. journal is very good for some things but it is not good in all the same ways as Blogging……… for me, an insane person)

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #5

previous // next // story index

__________

Victor

Hey everyone! Check out this awesome tan! I guess I was worried about my sunburn for nothing. Things are going great, and other than the occasional insect inviting itself to share my tent, this island is a literal paradise.

I’m proud to report, this morning I did not have junk food for breakfast. I got up early, and I made herbal tea, and grilled some of the fruit I bought yesterday. I made a little too much, because apparently I can’t remember how to cook for only myself any more.

At home, I do the majority of the cooking. It’s not that Yuri can’t do it. He’s actually not bad in the kitchen. The problem is that he has food-related anxiety and doesn’t even like touching food, so as you might imagine, that makes cooking stressful and difficult for him. Spending time preparing food gives him way too much time to think about it, and that in turn makes him less inclined to eat.

Aside from his anxiety, he’s got a bunch of dietary restrictions due to his chronic illness as well, and he’s picky on top of that, a fact he doesn’t even bother to deny. Making sure Yuri eats nutritious meals is practically a full-time occupation, but I don’t mind. If it helps him stay reasonably healthy, I’m more than happy to do it.

My cooking skills have improved a lot over the past year and a half. I was already decent at it, but cooking for Yuri has challenged me. I’ve learned to make so many new things, including Japanese dishes I’d never even heard of before moving there. Yuri’s paternal grandmother is a brilliant cook, and she’s taught me plenty of new skills. I also armed myself with half a dozen Japanese cookbooks and watched more cooking shows than I can count.

Now, I’m confident enough to make a wide menu of both Japanese and North American meals and snacks that are safe for Yuri. More often than not, however, I still have to coax him to eat, which I don’t like doing even though we both know it’s for his own good. Sometimes, if he’s really not feeling well, the only way to get him to eat anything is if I feed him. I think he’s got a love-hate relationship with that; loves the attention, but hates consuming the food. The look in his eyes when that happens just about kills me, but I try not to let my distress show. I just smile in what I hope is an encouraging way and remind him he’s got to focus on getting enough calories so he doesn’t lose weight.

I, on the other hand, don’t have any issues at mealtime. I love food. I eat a lot and I’ll try anything. My mom likes to joke that I eat like a rescued stray dog. She’s a veterinarian, so I guess she’d know.

As it turned out, making too much breakfast this morning wasn’t that big a problem because I had an unexpected guest for breakfast. Her name is Alana, and at first I thought she was camping at the site just down the beach from where I am, but she was just visiting somebody there. Alana is from the local village, and she’s the first Kainani Islander I’ve encountered so far who hasn’t treated me like a clueless tourist.

I offered her some grilled fruit, and we had a long chat. You know how you’ll occasionally meet a person for the first time, but after an hour or so it feels like you’ve known them for years? That’s how I felt with Alana.

I didn’t hesitate when she offered to take me sightseeing later in the week. She said our excursion would be “off the beaten track” so I think that means I’m going to see stuff that isn’t in the travel guides. How exciting does that sound? I mean, how could I possibly have said no?

After Alana left, I cleaned up the breakfast stuff, and then sat down to write a letter to Yuri and one to my mom. I’ve called Mom once since I’ve been here, and you know Yuri and I talk every evening before bed, but I wanted to write paper letters because they’ll have a Kainani Island postmark on them.

One of my favourite things as a kid was receiving postcards and letters from my Aunt Lia and Uncle John-Paul – J.P. as we call him – and seeing all the different places they’d been sent from. Uncle J.P. is my mom’s younger brother and he’s got some sort of tech job that allows him to work remotely. Aunt Lia is a doctor who works with an international organization, so she and my uncle and my cousins Maddie and Bella travel a lot. I’m sure Aunt Lia has sent me a card or a letter from every place the family has been, and to me it feels really special. Now, I want to pass a little of that sentiment on to the people I care most about, too.

Aunt Lia always started her notes with, ‘To my favourite future world explorer’. I wanted to start my letters to Yuri and Mom with something cool like that, but the best I could come up with for Mom’s was ‘To the best mom ever’. I began Yuri’s with, ‘To my favourite person in the world’.

After I finished with those two letters, I decided to write one to Aunt Lia too. I wanted to tell her that she was right all those times she’d referred to me as a future world explorer. She and Uncle J.P. and the girls are in Kenya right now and I don’t have an address for them there, so I opted to send it to their house in Maple Grove. It can be a little surprise for Aunt Lia when they get back.

But, now you’re wondering about the day’s adventures, aren’t you?

I hiked over to the village post office to mail my letters, which was coincidentally where all the people in the scuba diving class were supposed to meet up. There were five of us in the class and we had two instructors. My guess is that they have to keep the instructor-to-student ratio small for safety reasons.

The diving lesson went well, but I don’t think it’s going to make my top ten list of favourite activities of all time. I didn’t know a sport could exist that I wouldn’t particularly like, but I’m sad to say that scuba diving is that sport.

The real highlight of the day was snorkelling, and it definitely is going on my top-ten list of most awesome activities ever. I liked it way better than scuba diving because I didn’t have to worry about my air supply and carrying around several kilograms of gear. Snorkelling is way more relaxing, and not being stressed out gave me a better opportunity to appreciate my surroundings. Seriously, if you want to see something totally amazing, go snorkelling in the ocean around Kainani Island. I’m not even joking. The view underwater is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

The other big highlight of my day was learning how to ride this wild machine. Here, I’m gonna turn my phone so you can see. This is an AquaZip and it’s kind of like a shorter, faster version of a jet-ski. Let me just say, for an adrenaline junkie like me, the only thing more perfect than this is a snowboard. I had the time of my life today, zooming around on this contraption. If anyone could’ve heard me over the engine noise, they probably would’ve thought I’d lost my mind. I was yelling my head off for no reason other than it was the only way I could think to let out some of my excited energy.

You can rent these all over the island, and now this one’s mine for the week. I’ve got a feeling I’ll be using it a lot.

But maybe I shouldn’t be posting about that here. Yuri would undoubtedly panic if he saw me on this thing in real life, and I don’t think the pictures and the description are going to make the circumstances any gentler for him. Uh... sorry?

I had dinner at The Sand Bar again. This time, it was roasted meat with fruit glaze and some fresh local vegetables. I wanted another pineapple fizz, but I’m on a quest to try all the non-alcoholic drinks on offer, so I picked a pomegranate drink this time. Tomorrow, I’m gonna try the Tropical Twist, which is a combination of coconut, pineapple and banana.

Yuri would love all these. Fruit is something he eats reliably, and if he can drink it in a smoothie or a fruit blend, so much the better. I might have to check the shop in the village to see if they have any cookbooks. Our local supermarket in Matsumori has a good selection of tropical fruits, so maybe I can learn to make some drinks Yuri and I can enjoy together when I get home.

I ran into Alana again on my way back form dinner, and she said I was just the person she was looking for. That sounded like a line pulled straight from a movie script, so naturally I was curious. When I asked her why she was so glad to see me, she told me that she needed a favour and was hoping I could help.

Maybe I should’ve asked for more details before I agreed.

I found out that Alana owns this fruit and snack stand along the boardwalk, and she wanted to know if I’d watch it for her for an hour or so because she had something important she needed to do. I guess she didn’t think it was weird to ask someone she’d just met that morning to help her out with her business. That sort of thing wouldn’t happen in Matsumori, and I can one hundred percent assure you that it would never happen in Maple Grove, but it seems people are way more open and trusting here.

I’d never done anything like that before, so I didn’t know if I’d be any good at it, but guess what? If I can’t get a job that involves fitness or sports when I go home, I’m totally going to do sales. I discovered that I rock the snack stand game. Maybe it’s because it involves two of my favourite things, food and meeting new people. Anyway, by the time Alana got back about forty-five minutes later, things were super busy. She was clearly happy about it, and told me I was doing a great job.

She said I could stay and help her until she closed up shop for the night if I wanted to, but that she wasn’t going to stop me if I wanted to leave. I was having fun, so I decided to hang around.

We got to know each other a bit more when we weren’t occupied with customers. I learned that Alana was born here on the island, although she was kind of evasive about where precisely. She loves the ocean and her favourite thing is swimming. We have a lot in common, including a love of food, a sense of adventure, and a passion for sports. Oh, and her favourite colour is blue. She said her favourite shade of blue is exactly the colour of my eyes because they’re the same colour as the sea around Kainani. Now, tell me that’s not poetic.

I suggested Alana should think about coming to Japan to visit me and Yuri sometime, and I figured she’d be completely on board with the idea, but to my surprise she wasn’t. She asked me if Matsumori Town is on the coast, and when I told her it isn’t, she looked really uneasy and quickly changed the subject. Her reaction was strange, but I tried not to read much into it.

When we finally closed up, Alana offered to walk me back to my campsite so I wouldn’t get lost. I declined because I was sure I knew the way, and also because she was looking tired. I didn’t want to trouble her.

We said good night, and she trotted off in the direction of the beach. I thought that was kind of unusual because earlier she told me she’s from the village, but I mean... maybe it doesn’t mean anything. Maybe she just wanted to say good night to the other campers she’d been visiting this morning.

Anyway, as I was heading back to my tent at a leisurely pace, that’s when a really unbelievable thing happened.

I heard an enormous splash, and my first thought was that somebody might’ve fallen into the water. Concerned that the person might need help, I started to run.

What I saw when I reached the shoreline was… well, I don’t know, to be honest. Fortuntately, t wasn’t someone in trouble, but there was a moment there when I thought I might need some help. Like, either my eyes or my brain were playing tricks on me, or they both were. I really don’t know.

I didn’t have my camera, but I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took this picture. It’s not the greatest photo, but tell me what you think this looks like. Is this or is it not a super freakin’ huge fish tail? And for a split second, I thought the part I could just barely see underwater was a woman.

Maybe I’m tired and overstimulated. It’s been a full day, after all, and even my energy has its limits.

I’ll send the picture to Yuri and ask him what he thinks. I’m going to call him as soon as I’m finished with this journal entry. He’ll probably say it’s a giant sea trout or something. That’s a thing, right? And after he’s done telling me how silly I am for wanting to believe in merfolk, he’ll likely follow it up by telling me how much he loves my imagination.

... And then I fully expect him to call me back and give me a lecture about the whole AquaZip thing, because as soon as we hang up from the first call, he’ll probably be watching this video.

[badchoicesworld]

Can I request miles 42 with an alien male s/o that has completely white eyes and struggles with social ques/ human culture🫶🫶🫶

miles 42 w/ an alien boyfriend !

i’m listening to charlie’s inferno rn, hope this is half decent <\3

established relationship

warnings: meh

pairing: earth 42 miles x male!reader

requests: refer to the blog guide besties

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i’m gonna go ahead and quote the anarchist hobart brown rn and say i ain’t got a scooby doo where tf ur from or how u two met, that’s up to u

but at the same time i guess w the avengers n shit aliens aren’t something people can deny, so while miles was maybe a bit skeptical at first, it wasn’t the hardest thing in the world to believe

especially when you’ve got those big white eyes

not to mention how wildly awkward and clueless you are when it comes to earth customs

what’s christmas, you say ? it’s where this guy in red and a really big beard sneaks into ur home to drop off concealed items in a box that’s determined by lists that you’ve been put on depending on ur actions throughout the year. yeah, he sees you when ur sleeping my guy, be scared

i imagine miles explains it in a less lowkey way but i like to imagine ur now scared of santa and the concept of christmas

culture ! so much to learn

miles is obviously most eager to teach you about his own, his mum would be very happy to tell you things too

when he eventually tells her about his alien boyfriend, that is

you get to try foods from their culture, maybe try to learn spanish if you can

if you have some uncanny ability to grasp language’s immediately, then miles’ mum is thrilled, very happy to talk in her first language with you

gonna go ahead and assuming this miles is also fluent so, spanish all around if you can

go ahead and share ur own culture too, they’re admittedly intrigued

he occasionally likes to ask you about certain things, like if you have an equivalent of something on your planet while holding the thing up or showing you a picture

is specifically intrigued w art on ur planet, but he’s not the kinda guy to overwhelm you with questions

maybe like a handful a week

it takes miles a little while to get used to the fact that ur from off planet, so it takes him a bit to clock that you don’t understand a lot of things ur seeing

but eventually he’ll get into the habit of briefly explaining things to you, general concepts and guidelines

it becomes pretty second nature to him as some point and subconscious

like if ur staring at kettle and he notices how ur white eyes are just locked on it he’ll be like “…don’t touch it-“ cause he doesn’t want you to burn urself, he might fail to explain that at first

social cues ? who doesn’t struggle w them from time to time

miles likely won’t know how to help you at first, it’s an adjustment you both have to make to help each other out

so maybe you come up with some kinda signal when ur with other people, like he might do something discreet to help you out

ur still abrupt asf about it though because you never expect the signals, he honestly loves it about you lmao

might help you practice whenever he gets the free time, only if you actively wanna improve, he doesn’t mind otherwise

he cannot stress how important it is that you don’t wander off in the streets, if that’s something you tend to do

he loves you dearly and isn’t mad about your curiosity, but i feel like he’s able to read a room really well . if he feels like you aren’t safe then he’ll tell you to put your head down so people don’t see ur eyes, then ur both out

will figure out some way to hide them, it’s not even an if in certain situations

ur eyes are mesmerising to him but there’s no point if they put you in danger, so there are scenarios where he just won’t let you go certain places

not in a possessive way, it’s just literally the safest option

hates to be controlling like that sometimes but it’s better than risking it, he hopes you know that

while earth 42 is in flames i do still think that there would be a tight knit community in the neighbourhood, in those kinda circumstances all you’ve got is each other, y’know ?

so while it may not be the safest for you in some streets, you’ve got a home with miles and can feel secure enough

i cant even begin to imagine the amount of organisations you’ve gotta stay under the radar from

have fun w that

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i’m lagging oh god

[windvexer]

Advice for if your practice is feeling stressful or unfulfilling (that isn't 'just stop practicing')

Before you expand: long text post!

I think it's interesting that the first line of advice stressed and unhappy practitioners often receive is 'stop practicing! take a break,' because besides a breather this doesn't actually do anything. When a person is done with that break they're still going to have the same stressful, unfulfilling practice they did before.

Stop practicing is useful advice for someone who is about to deep-fry their brain in uncontrolled Witch Fire. It's useful advice for someone who experiences unexplainable catastrophe every time they engage in magic.

I'm not sure it's useful advice for people who want to practice and are actively seeking help figuring out how.

So here are some ideas. Feel free to add your own.

If your practice has too much of a time load:

Scrape over-engineered ritual. Examine ritual formats. Are you spending a majority of your practice time engaging in elaborate ritual? Where can that be paired down?

Swap ritual for enchantments. If ritual performs an action (laying a compass), can you substitute for that ritual action by making enchanted objects that take less time to activate (enchanted compass altar cloth)?

Minimize ingredients. If you regularly perform spells that require lengthy enchantment of ingredients, can you use fewer ingredients to achieve the same results? If you're using more than 3 correspondences for any spell, is this because you are wise in your own ways, or because you just feel that more is merrier?

Mash rituals together. Do you have a string of rituals, even small ones, that you perform one after the other? Is it possible to reorganize these so they're all done at once, in the same ritual? For example, setting out an offering to the gods, a different offering for the ancestors, another for helper spirits, etc. Can you combine these all into one single offering?

Check for over-tending. Is it possible that you're repeating magical acts, like feeding wards and cleansing, more often than you need to? Did you arrive at this schedule through trial and error, or did you just guess this is how often you should do them?

Check for your own levelup: spell maintenance. If it's been a while since you re-evaluated your ritual/offering/maintenance schedule, your increase in skills may mean you need to do these tasks less often to achieve the same result.

Check for your own levelup: techniques and routines. Some techniques, like carefully entering trance, grounding, and centering, are like training wheels that wear ruts into our paths of magic. As we improve in skill, old rituals and techniques that have been carefully couched in these helpful devices may become ingrained in us so that we can perform them in almost any state of mind, much faster and easier than we could before. Experiment with any technique you've been doing for a while and see if you still need to perform time-consuming meditative or focusing techniques before you can perform the skill.

Be reasonable with your own goals. I find most 'laywitches' give themselves daily and weekly schedules that would put actual cloistered monks to shame. Did your spirits tell you they expect daily offerings, or did you decide on that an run with it? Where are you overcompensating and overexerting in your path when nobody, including yourself, asked you to?

If your practice has too much of a work load:

Much of the advice of the prior section applies. Also,

Just work less. Are you putting in 100% effort when 20% or 30% would do? Are you treating every act of magic like a performance review that will control the outcome of your magical career? I'm not being sarcastic; an actual solution to your path being too much work is to just put in less effort. If you've never tried this you may be shocked at how effective magic can be when you're only doing what needs to be done.

Find simpler, more reasonable stuff. Find new techniques, and spell and ritual formats that are paired down to fit the amount of effort that's reasonable to exert for any given magical act. If you can't work with correspondences without a lengthy act of activation, find a way to cast simple spells that doesn't rely on correspondences.

Limit research and prep. Ask yourself how much research you reasonably need to get started on any given project. Remember that a huge amount of a witch's education is experiential; you will probably never know enough until you've already done it three or four times.

Be goal-oriented; prioritize actions. Ask yourself if you've set arbitrary workloads before you can get started with anything, such as forcing yourself to write artistic grimoire pages before you're allowed to perform a ritual you're interested in.

Learn skills to help prioritize actions. If your practice is consumed by acts of upkeep such as cleansing and empowering objects, focus on learning energy sensing so you can reasonably determine whether or not an object actually needs to be cleansed or empowered.

Administrate your own practice - what can go on the back burner? Make a list of all your active ongoing projects and maintenance, including upkeep of energy batteries, spells that require maintenance, and situations you want to change and are casting spells on. Prioritize them; see which ones you can set aside.

Restructure your projects to minimize maintenance. Consolidate spells and projects where possible. For example, if you have multiple protection spells for many people that require upkeep, condense them all onto a protection altar so you can feed and tend to them all at once.

Work in batch and bulk. See where you can do batch work to lighten your load. You can bulk enchant candles and incense, instead of enchanting incense every time you do a ritual. You can enchant oils, waters, and incense to feed your spells, taking time out of upkeep.

Levelup your charging and maintenance skills. Learn energy work to attach energy tethers to batteries and other important projects so they're able to drink from the wellspring you attach them to, and stay charged.

Scrape routines that don't serve you. Examine any daily routines. Are you doing them because they're helping you, or because you feel like you're supposed to be doing something every day? See if you can replace more intensive daily routines with something less tiring, like a prayer to your path itself.

If your practice feels too silly:

You have a right to privacy. Cocooning is valid. It's fine to take steps to limit who can see and potentially judge your practice. You can keep things to yourself until you're ready.

Tend to your emotional wellness. Self-therapy, in any form you feel comfortable with, can help mitigate the inner eye of judgement.

Reduce your beliefs to palatable doses. Believing in magic for only the duration of your work is perfectly fine. You don't have to 'believe-believe' 24/7. If you're not ready to integrate the belief of magic and spirits into your baseline worldview, don't - you can agree to buy in to those beliefs only while you practice techniques and cast spells, and then put them away the rest of the time.

Scrape stuff you really can't get past. Ask yourself what about your practice feels silly. Are there trappings - like altars, ritual movements, and speaking aloud - that you don't like? Change them. Is the idea that religious faith itself is a bit cringe? Self-therapy (or you know, the regular kind) may be assistive.

Ask for help modifying your process.Is there something very specific about a ritual or technique that you just can't get past, but you don't know how to change it? Research and see what other substitute rituals are available. Ask others and see if they can help you brainstorm.

Embrace the silliness. It's not going anywhere. Believing in your practice and holding it dear and sacred is not the same as being ✨super serious gravitas✨ all the time. There are lots of things about witchcraft, and the acts of the witch, that are silly and make you realize you're doing something ridiculous. I came out here at 2 am after it's been raining to climb down a slippery riverbed to get a branch of a tree that I think is talking to me?? Because some medieval guy said Tuesday is the planet Mars and I think trees talk to me?! Ridiculous. Yet I still love it dearly in a sacred place in my heart. It can be silly and glorious at the same time.

Cast a wider net. See if you're barking up the wrong tree. Traditional Witchcraft, folk magic, lodge magic, chaos magic, eclectic neopaganism... these things are not interchangeable. If you've never explored different traditions, why not give it a go? You might find another path that feels a lot more natural to you. A lot of people fall into a certain path just because they don't know what else they could be doing!

If your practice feels unfulfilling:

What are you doing to bring yourself fulfillment? Why did you get into witchcraft? Make a list of your top 5 reasons (if you have that many). Which techniques, spells, and rituals are you regularly performing are designed to deliver these desires to you? If one of your goals of practicing witchcraft is to 'feel connected,' how often are you performing acts where the only goal is to make you feel connected?

Grow your path deliberately in the direction of your needs. What do you wish you had in your life right now? Is it the feeling of being loved? Inner peace? Feeling like nature is alive and watching you? Look for what techniques and rituals in your practice will bring these things to you. If there are none, find or develop them.

Ask for help and share your feelings. If you work with gods and spirits, do you regularly tell them how you feel about your practice and ask them for help finding fulfillment?

Find contentment in the process. It's vital to find joy in the process. If you have regular routines or upkeep you need to do, how can you modify it so that process in and of itself is satisfying to you? Try considering the visceral element of witchcraft: the words, scents, sounds, moods, and thoughts that you want to experience in your present moment. Witchcraft is experiential: a great deal of the experience you create in the tidepools of routine is under your control.

Contemplate the larger purpose. Some witches do have magical chores and responsibilities they can't or shouldn't shirk. If this is true of you, and you can't modify those routines, try refocusing on why you're doing them and the importance they hold in your path. See if you can find balance elsewhere in your practice that feels rejuvenating; sort of a 'work-play' balance of your own craft.

Set short-term goals you can celebrate. Are you undertaking a lot of 'workout routines' that are designed to basically make you magically buff, or get good at a particular skill, but you're doing them with no endgoal? Try creating short-term goals that excite your sense of wonder or accomplishment. Like, practicing tarot until you can read the Celtic Cross, or practicing energy work until you can make a four-element layered energy shield. Build goalposts for yourself, both in the short and long-term, and celebrate your successes.

Scrape routines you're not doing for any good reason. Are your regular practices things you're doing because they fill you with mystery and wonder, or because you're just pretty sure that's the kind of thing witches do? If you're bored or unfulfilled by a particular routine, consider stopping it altogether, especially if you can't think of any short-term goals that it's helping you work towards. Think about the reasons you got into witchcraft: what practices would help you fulfill those reasons, while also feeling good to practice?

Seek out a likeminded community. A good working group of friends can be invaluable. My close group of witch friends, whom I've been hanging out with for years, started as a Tumblr post asking if anyone wanted to make a small server to study witchcraft. Reach out and see who's out there to study with, talk to, and practice with. It can be loads of fun to do short-term study and practice challenges with friends, and a great way to get feedback and support.

Evaluate your spiritual relationships. Although it can be painful and challenging, sometimes we enter into our paths working with gods and spirits that after some time, we need to move on from. Is it possible your path has become stagnant because you don't want to keep working with a god or spirit that your path has been built around? It may be time to see how you can move on.

When 'take a break' might be helpful advice to heal your practice:

Of course, YMMV :)

'Taking a break' doesn't mean stop being a witch, stop believing in magic, or stop 100% of your practice. It can also mean putting a lot of projects on the back burner, switching to bare-minimum (or below minimum) maintenance, and squashing regular routines.

I'm talking specifically about taking a break in the interest of your own practice - not the conditions under which someone is ""allowed"" to stop practicing witchcraft.

Take a break to rest and let your seeds germinate. 'Fallow periods,' when you have no desire or motivation to practice witchcraft, and when it seems like there's nothing for you to do, are normal. Some witches experience this cyclically, perhaps during certain seasons or when predictable life conditions are met. There's no need to force yourself to practice when it's just not flowing. The snow on your mountaintops needs to melt to replenish your waterways, bestie. There's nothing wrong with you, the sun just isn't out yet.

When you're hitting yourself with a hammer. When something in your practice is triggering or harming you, and stopping will have no consequences, then stopping your practice for a while is probably a good idea. Use the downtime to seek healing or reformat your practice.

To open your life up for necessary work. Not every witch can out-path every problem. Consider taking a break when the problem is something you will have time and energy to work on if not for your regular magical practice.

When you're about to deep-fry your brain with Witch Fire. Consider taking a break when the problem with your practice is that you are practicing too often - such as fatigue due to excessive spellwork, divinatory obsession, trouble staying out of the spirit world (compulsive astral travel), or focus on spirits/magic/the spirit worlds are starting to erode your home, school, or work life.

To let the ripples settle. When you've done so much magic or ritual work that your life is a boat on a stormy sea, and you just need to batten down the hatches for a while and let things settle.

[capsensislagamoprh]

Well, well, well. Not

Fueling my crazy-assed head cannons with In Cannon facts.

I swear to all the CANNON GAWDS this is correct. I know this is true IRL. So, makes sense in cannon, right? Source: Boy. Don't @ me. You have seen him observe Yurio's eyes for more than there dazzling color. He's seen into them. You have seen him put things together in one night, from choreography and improve. This takes a lot of skill. You not only have to be able to read the room, but the people involved as well. Being uncomfortable makes this sort of thing really bad, it could hurt people. Not with this man in charge. Otabek, why you just the most chill ... I STG this guy is old school FEY. Radiates it so bad you look it up and this is the image you get: Otabek causally droppin everyone's stress levels by EXISTING.

These manors. Most punk thing you will ever see. Everyone this day? Yurio. Victor. Chris. You see them. They are some kind of 'out there'. Most people are. Not Otabek. This man is in your face polite, which is quiet, genteel, and shocking. SHOCKING. Do you know how much EMOTIONAL DAMAGE you can do with the right word and a calm demeanor? I do. I have been DEVASTATED by this. This man wields the most deadly sword.

Honestly, this is just fueling my 'this guy is secretly well connected noble and just wont admit it because who needs that kind of attention. He likes music. He likes to skate. He knows who is his soul mate.' This boy be BOI. Man, I have heard LEGENDS less backed up by cannon than this. I love him, your honor and would like my petition for him and Yurio to get married yesterday to be approved by the court of law, and possibly several deities. Thank you.

I mean, I got no notes. Just more head cannon fuel. Bet even Lilia Baranovskaya can find no wrong in his posture. Just his flexibility. But. may boy, if it gives you an ass like that? *ahem* Whole bod, really. I am not sorry.

Old. School. Fey. Prince? King? If you play Changeling: the Dreaming (White Wolf) you know what I mean. Where Yurio is a new world Fey, Otabek is so old school, and it just makes me happier than I understand. The dynamics. Opposing elements that just click. Yes, your honor, I have a petition to push that proposal thrugh. You'll see the *drops several reams of paper on the desk* signatures on these pages. *rolls in several more boxes*

That formality is called 'finality'. There is no argument to be made against it that dose not make the person arguing a massive ass. There is no wheedle room. This is practiced in the highest circles. Also, that side eye, like JJ may have pushed Otabek's patience one to many times. Bet you it was when he heard how Yurio reacts to JJ calling him 'princess'. Otabek is far to respectful to push an unwanted nick name. Also, that's his boyfriend, your honor. We may get to see a duel. Suggest crossbows at range. You know Otabek is a sniper shot.

You bring this man home to your ice daddies, Yurio. Because I wanna see Victor freak out, Yuuri be happy, but confused, because this man has ALL the manors and Yurio is hissy kitty personified. The. DYNAMICS! your honor! Otabek with his courtly love until Yurio is ready. MY FRIKIN GAWDS! The way Yurio looked at Otabek's skating and made that little sound with the patented Victor-is-Interested-in-Something pose? We may not have to wait long. These Two Your Honor!

I KNEW IT! Otabek (when not suffering the all cursed helmet hair) pulls that under cut off. JJ dose not. Also: this is a man for whom the phrase 'I'm disappointed' can be summed up in a single look that will sear you to the soul and change your whole damned reincarnation cycle. You cannot convince me that even the worst person would be able to take that look and not feel something inside be blanketed in warmth that says 'I know you can do better, you deserve the effort it takes,' then cry about it because they know he's right.

Yurio is very much used to being *tiched* off. People thinking he's a kid, like perma-nine, over reacting, to emo. You know what that's like. Ever kid does. It's painful. But like, Otabek? He knows words are useless here. Just the action. Sometimes that's all it takes. Yurio is very much ready to fight. When it doesn't come? Well, self reflection time. And boy can self reflection hurt. Also THE DYNAMICS, YOUR HONOR! Tinny, elegant, ethereal on the outside Yurio vs. Masculine, buff af, strong and ever enduring Otabek. One has the personality of a raging fire, uncaring of who they burn. One has the personality of untouchable covering the deepest waters you will ever find. To deep and you'll drown. Each soft for exactly ONE person. MY GAWDS YOUR HONOR!

You know Otabek follows Yuri's Angles, and that's how he found him. This man has had a whole assed 'soul mates imma marry him' crush Situation (tm) since he understood those eyes. Eyes he never forgot. There are Nobel Prize winning poets less eloquent than that. It constantly reminds me of

“they asked "do you love her to death?" i said "speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life” ― Mahmoud Darwish

I mean, this is how I think of that 'eyes of a solder' line. I will take no notes.

I mean, this is legit. And then he encourages Yurio. It may cost him a metal to do that. But he did it. And he was happy for Yurio. This man is a fucking saint. There is no suggestion box, please file your opposing opinions in the round receptacle to the right. YOUR HONOR! If you'd be so kind as to sand the ink before you hand that over to the court clerk for filing. I now have to go house hunting for these two so I can have them (Yurio) constantly annoyed by CANNON PAIRING who love the Secondary Cannon OTP, but lets be honest, Victor is gonna be a shit about it because he's not forgot what he went thrugh when he was courting Yuuri. Otabek. Silently suffering. Trying not to laugh. I bet he breaks down with the most charmingly, light up the room, dimple having, white teeth flashing smile anyone has seen, putting stars in everyone's eyes for all of three seconds when they finally break him. His laugh is music. Promptly puts on his normal blank expression and acts like it never happened. This is a thing now. Also he can sing and play/write music, and because he couldn't do ballet, took ballroom to get his dance skills. You will not change my mind.

[berniesrevolution]

IN THESE TIMES

The future of the four-day work week is looking brighter after the results of a major new study were released last month.

Nearly 3,000 workers at over 60 organizations took part in the latest trial of reduced working time — and the findings surpassed most expectations. A large majority of workers reported significant improvements in their quality of life. And it wasn’t just employees who preferred the shorter working week: more than 90% of employers who participated opted to continue the arrangement.

The U.K.-based experiment introduced a four-day week or equivalent cut in hours, with no loss of pay, from June to December 2022. Research teams at Boston College, Cambridge University and the London think tank Autonomy studied the effects. Overall, workers reported lower levels of stress and burn out, higher job satisfaction and less conflict between work and family demands. They also said they felt more capable at work and better able to manage their time.

Almost all (96%) said they preferred working four days and most put a high value on their new free time. Asked how much money would persuade them to return to a five-day week, 29% said they would want a 26-50% pay increase, while 8% wanted more than 50% and another 15% said no amount of money would lure them back.

Employers benefited as well. Compared with the pre-trial period, there were fewer staff resignations and days off for illness. Revenues saw a slight increase. Asked to score their experience on a scale from 0 (negative) to 10 (positive), the average among employers was 7.5 for productivity and 8.3 overall.

One likely reason for the trial’s success is that it recognized there was no one-size-fits-all formula. Each organization could choose its own approach to work time reduction so long as it offered significant reductions without loss of pay. The trial was also meticulously prepared, with two months of workshops, coaching, mentoring and peer support, drawing on experience from earlier pilots in more than 100 companies in the United States, U.K., Australia, Canada and Ireland. This approach was geared to help participants improve well-being and economic prosperity at the same time — by designing new working practices and changing company culture.

The trial took place during a pitched moment in history, as evolving digital communications combined with a global pandemic to wreak havoc on the concept of ​“normal” employment. More employees than ever could work anytime and anywhere with a suitable device and internet signal. And most everyone who took part had fresh memories of when workplaces closed down, human proximity seemed lift-threatening and online meetings redefined personal interaction.

In some ways, the Covid pandemic gave the four-day week a boost by forcing companies to adapt to new ways of thinking and working. One manager of a manufacturing company in the UK trial observed, ​“I think we have come out of the pandemic with a new outlook on life… There’s a greater expectation around flexible working, hybrid working — people are taking that opportunity to think ​��I want to do something completely different.’”

(Continue Reading)

[thecurrator]

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @spongeofaces

Your romantic match is…Trey Clover!

A guy who fulfills your wish for someone who values comfort. He'll make sure your life is as comfortable as possible. Whether you're hanging out happily with him or having a bad day, he'll make sure you have blankets, preferred/comfort food, a warm drink, and a show you like on stand-by. In social situations, he'll stick close to you and help you talk to someone when you're feeling awkward. All he wants is for you both to life as comfortably as possible.

He's the mom friend for all of Heartslabyul, being a good listener is necessary. When he hears about any problems you're having, he provides you with a perfect blend of comfort and practical solutions (if you hadn't thought of them yet). Expect hugs and gentle caresses to your arm as he asks about what's wrong.

But he also appreciates how you're willing to listen to others as well. He's used to taking care of other people, so having you around to pamper him or remind him to take a break is like a breath of fresh air. You both can take care of each other.

On physical affection, he's the type to always be touching you in some way. When you both stand close to each other, he'll have your pinkies interlocked. When you're walking somewhere, he might guide you with a hand to your back. Touching you grounds him in a way. Doesn't mind you poking him for the same reason.

Trey's memory isn't as good as Riddle's, but it's still good. Coupled with his tendency to take care of people, he often reminds you of things you would have forgotten otherwise. Ex: You haven't drank any water in a while, or an upcoming appointment.

He stress bakes sometimes and will give a portion of it to you. Cookies, cakes, pies, you name it! If you're not a fan of sweet things, he'll focus his efforts on savory pastries. He will also make sure to remind you to brush your teeth by the end of the day.

He can't relate much to your interests, but he makes sure to support you! He might get the sudden urge to try out drawing with you one day, and ask to sit with you while he makes failing attempts at sketching you. Don't laugh at him too much.

Runner-up: Cater Diamond (Was thinking of matching you with him at first, then figured you would like someone less extroverted more.)

Your platonic match is…Silver!

A reliable and comforting presence in your life. Though you both aren't social butterflies, you likely gravitated to each other due to your matching quiet and calming demeanors. Your energies (laid back, considerate, open minded) match well too!

A great listener! He doesn't say much, and is more than willing to listen to you ramble about stuff you like or even vent. He might fall asleep (unwillingly) though. He apologizes every time so please don't blame him. The sight of you both sitting or laying down underneath a tree in the afternoon is common on campus.

Shares your love for mushrooms! Whenever he orders mushroom risotto at the school cafeteria, he'll offer some to you if you want it. Perhaps you both could pay Jade a visit at his Mountain Lovers Club and go foraging for mushrooms together.

He suits your love for frogs since small critters are attracted to him. Take him to rivers or lakes and you'll soon see little frogs peeking out from the water or nearby greenery. They're very comfortable with Silver, so you could have the opportunity to pet the frogs without them getting frightened and hopping away.

Your love for self-improvement suits him well, as he dislikes idleness. He's always striving to improve as Malleus' knight, so your support in his endeavors is greatly appreciated. He'll do the same for you and be careful not to be too pushy. Mutual support!

Since you like sharp objects, perhaps you'd be interested in examining his sword. He's more worried about you accidentally hurting yourself than you damaging the sword. Nonetheless, he watches you like a hawk while you're holding in his sword.

He spends a lot of time in forests, so expect him to come back from training with bouquets of flowering weeds or daisy flower crowns. His small smile when he hands them to you is one of the greatest gifts he could ever give you.

Runner-up: Idia Shroud (Someone who shares your love for manga and games. But I decided someone not judgmental (let's be real, he's very judgey) and more stable would be better for you.)

Your sibling match is…Deuce Spade!

Given your timid and socially awkward disposition, I believe you would get along well with a younger brother like Deuce, who would protect you with his life. The sentiment is there, though hopefully it never comes to that.

As the younger brother, he naturally looks up to you. Especially your academic talent, since he isn't so good at academics himself. After his decision to become an honor's student, he wasn't embarrassed to come asking you for help or any leftover notes you still have that you could give him. He'll plead for some tuition if you're free and willing, bringing out the puppy eyes.

Very protective of you. At social functions, he'll be your ambivert shield that you can hide behind when you don't feel like talking to anybody. If he ever sees someone causing you trouble or making you upset, he'll give them a stern talking to in private.

Finds your habit of poking and prodding as a sign of affection endearing, mostly because you're his sibling and you're the only one he knows that does it. (Ace will poke him to annoy him, that's different.) Expect to see a small smile whenever you poke him. He'll poke you back to reciprocate, but if you don't like being poked, he'll take note of that and not do it again.

Grew up noticing your liking for hoarding small trinkets, so now he'll use some of his money to buy little keychains or toys for you, especially if his friends are selling them for some personal or school project. You'll receive a small box from him for your birthday, a new addition for your collection waiting inside.

Though he's clearly attached to you, he isn't overly clingy. You've got your own life and he's got his. He won't have any problem doing most of his schoolwork and activities by himself. So don't worry about your social battery always running low around him.

Gets along well with your boyfriend Trey! (Though just about anyone can get along well with Trey, but still.) At some point, you likely told Trey to watch over Deuce in Heartslabyul for you, and Deuce told Trey to take care of you for him.

[alfgifu]

analysing my own fic: the navel, the gaze, and the wanging on about it

So.

I used to be fairly active online in fandom-adjacent spaces but almost entirely as a lurker. I was still following various tumblr accounts through a feed-reader, but had otherwise kind of switched off for a decade or two. I spent more time online in other places, discussing religion and politics mostly, and hadn’t really done much for myself or for fun.

I kept writing, both at work and in my spare time. I got better at explaining things concisely and persuasively. I spent hours over drafts of novels that I knew were shit, partly because I wanted to improve but partly because [black hole of self-sabotage due to stress of undiagnosed autism].

In the autumn of 2022 I was doing what I imagine a lot of us did that year - getting my head around life adjustments after the acute phase of the pandemic. The trauma, the impact on my spouse and kids, the impact on my job. Jobs, I should say, because I had whirled through a lot of them in the previous couple of years and ended up somewhere I couldn’t have predicted and wouldn’t necessarily have wanted to land.

It was by chance that I found and enjoyed Victoria Goddard’s writing that year, when I was unsettled and reaching around for things to try. There was a link to a fan-run discord community in the afterword of At the Feet of the Sun and I was curious enough to check it out. I had been disengaging from social media for a while - algorithmic feeds drive me up the wall - but there seemed no harm in finding a new place to lurk.

I hadn’t realised that new arrivals are actively welcomed in discord servers. I also hadn’t realised how easy it is to join a voice channel by accident while you’re trying to figure yourself out. Two interactions with friendly people - enough to lower the internal friction to posting something else. And something else after that.

And I had been thinking, hadn’t I, that I might want to write some fanfiction? Twenty years of reading and not writing… It was surely my turn. It would be good practice, a chance to test myself on sharing fiction in public.

Perhaps, I thought, one or two people will read it. Perhaps I’ll get some feedback.

Welp.

I hadn’t allowed for how welcoming and supportive the community would be. I hadn’t realised how hungry a tiny fandom is for new content. I hadn’t known how addictive any kind of validation about my writing would prove.

Anyway my fingers slipped and

So that happened.

In November it’ll be two years since I joined the fandom; in December, two years since I first posted a fic chapter to AO3. It seems like a good time to take stock.

My writing pace has dropped like a brick in the past six months due to other life stressors, which has kiboshed both fanfic and the ambition to finish another original novel this year (and with it the hope to maybe, this time, writing something less shit and more shareable).

This month I’ve mostly been drawing Inktober doodles instead of writing. I hope to recover a bit that way. The other life events continue but unlike earlier this year the stresses seem likely to end in a good place - eventually! - and when things are less full-on I have to believe that the urge and capacity to write fiction will recover.

For now, having blown the dust off this tumblr, I’m going to do some processing by taking a look here at the various things I’ve written and contributed to over the past two years. I’m planning to reflect on how and why they came about, on what worked and what didn’t, and on what I learned from writing them.

[fantasyfantasygames]

Dollars to Donuts

Dollars to Donuts, Curlicue Games, 2018

Dollars to Donuts (D2D) takes place inside a donut shop where bakers and servers rush to get donuts to patrons. It could easily have been one of those "better as a board game" setups, but there's more going on here than just a simple game mechanic and some talking.

I say "donut shop", but the way it's described the location really sounds more like a diner. The art backs that up. It's black-and-white photos of a 50s-style diner, including bakers, waitresses (and a waiter), and various folks sitting at the bar with their donuts and coffee. The photos are very nicely done. They're definitely not actual period photos. I can tell because there are multiple non-white people in them. Might be stock art, might be original. Either way, they work.

One of the rare features of D2D is "troupe"-style play. The game most people think about for troupe play is Ars Magica. It's not required, but Ars assumes that each player will have three characters: one mage, one companion (a favored, highly skilled non-mage), and one "grog" (warrior or servant). You can thus play scenarios at multiple different levels of power. Normally you all play a particular level of character at once to keep things balanced, but if everyone's ok with it you could have a mixed group.

In D2D, everyone has three characters: a baker, a server, and a patron. You're expected to switch between them fluidly as the game plays out, basically responding with the right character when someone calls their name. I can imagine this getting very chaotic and potentially stressful. However, if you have the right group of improv-friendly players, I can also imagine it really getting across the hectic feel of a busy diner.

The three character types have different game stats. Bakers have three attributes: Quality, Speed, and Efficiency. Servers have three gauges instead - you spend points from them as the game goes along. Those are Kindness, Agility, and Poise. Patrons have two negative attributes - Worry and Trouble - and one negative gauge - Hunger. They also have Issues, each of which is tied to either Worry or Trouble. If you play multiple sessions of the game, the patrons come in with a new set of Issues every time. Any continuity in their situation is entirely up to the play group. Play mostly revolves around resolving the patrons' issues without having their Hunger score go too far into the negative.

The dice mechanic is a simple d6+attribute, with two target numbers. Roll high and things go well, low and they go badly, and in the middle there's either no change or some of each. Points in gauges get spent to adjust the die roll upwards or downwards. There's also a timer involved (one per player, actually) and a few minigame-type setups for person-specific tasks.

D2D is in a weird space that's part one-shot LARP and part board game. I think that pushing it more solidly one way or the other could have resulted in Curlicue Games having a better final product. They threaded the needle, but the thread is a little bare for having gone through. My strongest suggestion, if this were to stay as an RPG, would be to make it explicitly GM-less, instead of just giving the GM practically nothing to do. Really, it just needs to lean in a particular direction.

Dollars to Donuts is available in Kindle format via Amazon's impenetrable AI-filled maze of schlock ebooks. I sent a suggestion that they might want to make it available in PDF, but they'll probably also want to fix up the book's trade dress so that certain major donut companies don't sue them.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hello again! I'm the person with dyslexia ADHD Autism and general anxiety disorder from earlier :)

Is there any articles you can link to me Or advice you can give to help me with this situation?

I feel really nervous about going back to school because I was bullied and taking advantage of a lot. I also had a really hard time keeping up with school work (Specifically math and science) Because of Neurodivergency (Sorry if that is not the right word). I ended up doing a lot of lying because I felt scared that my family and friends would think less of me and think I was less capable.

School in general just makes me feel like I'm less than all the other students and a lot of anxiety, I'm also very scared of ending up a "super special needs kid" and being treated even worse my peers.

Do you have any advice to help me with this situation?

Hi there,

I have no idea if this will help, but I found some articles listing some ways to study and succeed in school. Keep in mind that everyone is different, so some of these may not work:

* Sit in the front of class to limit distractions.

* Turn off your phone when doing homework. This limits distractions too.

* Talk with your teacher about your ADHD. Some students with ADHD need extra time to take tests. Some need smaller class sizes or a quiet place to complete work. Others need a tutor. Ask your teacher to help you plan and do what's right for you.

* Use tools that help you stay organized. Keep track of assignments in a planner or on a phone app. List things you need to bring home. Set phone reminders for classes and activities, or write them in a planner.

* Get plenty of exercise. Daily exercise can improve attention and school performance for people with ADHD. It also keeps your positive emotions flowing.

* Take activity breaks. If you feel restless during school, ask teachers to let you take quick breaks to get up and move. This can help you get focused again when you return to your seat. When you study or do homework, take activity breaks often.

* Learn to meditate. Mindfulness meditation can improve attention, memory, and focus. It can reduce stress too. It’s easy to learn. Take a few minutes to practice it every day.

* Pay attention to all the good things about you. Having ADHD is one part of you. And there’s so much more. Think of things others like about you. Maybe you’re creative, kind, or funny. Maybe you have a talent for sports, music, dance, or art. Maybe you’re good with tech, building things, or cooking. Make time for the things you enjoy. Grow your strengths by using them every day. Spend time with the people who see you for who you are. See yourself that way, too.

The article will be below:

Another article lists some ways to study if you have ADHD:

Review Your Notes Before Bed

Exercise Sharpens Brain Focus

Use Your Nose to Study Better

Napping, Breaks, and Memory

Sip a Sugary Drink

The article will be below:

Here’s one last article that might help:

I hope some of these help. Maybe some of my followers can give some tips and advice too.

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[subliminallyroki]

Here's a little something I wrote based off of my hermitcraft-warriors au. There's more to the world building, timeline, events, and such, so maybe I'll post that sometime later.

Anyhow, enjoy! And if it wasn't clear already, Macaw is Grian before he joined the Hermits' clan and he was given the name Parrotfeather. Also the hermits don't have a clan name, they just call themselves Hermits. They're kinda like a budget clan. Okay, yep, onto the story.

Macaw was tired. He had been walking for practically the entire day in this gods forsaken forest. It felt like he was going in circles, and now his paw pads were sore. It was great, just great.

By no means was he used to forests. All of the new smells bombarded his sensitive nose and caused him to sneeze. There were too many smells and too many pokey things, in his humble opinion. He couldn't tell head from tail. It didn't help that Macaw felt like he couldn't step anywhere without greenery in the way.

But it was a major improvement from whatever the two-legs had going on. Macaw shuddered at the reminder. He was glad to be gone from there. And he refused to remember the time before that.

The ginger cat sighed and paused. He sat down to give his aching paws a rest. Then gave up and layed down to extend fully in the soft grass. Macaw began the methodic task of licking his paws clean.

But he didn't get very far. The golden foliage tickiling his fur was too much to handle. Macaw, irritated and stressed, flicked his tail to and fro.

He had no clue what he was doing in a forest. He couldn't catch a mouse to save his life, much less sustain himself. It was stupid, maybe he should have just stayed with the deranged two legs after all. It was all so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

Macaw froze suddenly. There was noise, voices. His eyes widened.

"Yeah, Mumbo, did'ja see me catch that vole!? It didn't even see me coming!"

"Scar, you ran head first into a tree."

There was silence for a moment. If Macaw hadn't been so terrified for his life, he would be laughing.

"Okay, well, those are just technicalities."

"Are we sure you don't need to see the medicine cat? I'm sure Fuchsiaflower would be happy to tell us if you've scrambled your brains."

"Oh, I'm sure she's already fed up with me. It's no biggie, though!"

The voices were getting louder. They were approaching and Macaw was doing nothing but sitting in the flowers, cowering like an idiot. His breaths were getting cut short. Surely, surely, this would be the end.

It was then that a slender brown and white tabby tom revealed himself from the brush. He was looking back over his shoulder when he stopped and realized Macaw was squatting right there.

Silence again.

Someone spoke from behind the tom, "What is it, Bristlescar? Ah- oh."

Another cat appeared, this time he was bigger and had black and white patches. And Macaw meant a lot bigger. He must've been at least twice his own size.

It was a tense moment of the three staring at each other before the brown tabby cracked a grin.

"Well hello there." The black and white cat glanced at his partner. Macaw couldn't decipher if it was in concern or exasperation.

"Uh, hi?" Macaw hesitantly let himself relax from his crouch. If they hadn't attacked him yet, chances are they wouldn't now.

"HI, hi! I'm Bristlescar! And this here is Mumblenose! What's your name - wait don't tell me, let me guess," the brown and white tom, Bristlescar apparently (seriously, who named these guys? Their mothers must have hated them), closed his eyes in what appeared to be concentration.

The other cat gave Macaw a look that told him this is a common occurrence. Then Mumblenose seemed to realize their situation and quickly broke eye contact. It was a little bit funny, Macaw had to admit.

"It starts with a G! No? Yeah? Well I'm going to call you G. You know why? Because you are in those golden plants and, you know, g like gold. Okay," Bristlescar looked pleased, he smiled at the other cat.

"Uh, my name is actually Macaw." Macaw was having difficulty comprehending what was happening right now.

"Oh! Well, do you mind if I call you G? Because I think I'm going to. You can call me Scar if I get to call you G, deal?"

Before Macaw got a chance to interrupt, the black and white tom butted in, "Scar, er, I really don't think this is going anywhere. We're supposed to be hunting prey and keeping intruders out of our territory."

But, judging by his tone, Mumblenose wasn't all that annoyed.

"Oh, come on Mumblenose! Look at him, look at how cute and small he is! I'm sure Turtlestar would adopt him immediately. Why don't we take him back to camp?" Bristlescar turned back to Macaw. Macaw wasn't sure he liked being called 'cute' or 'small'. In fact, he despised it. "Would you like to come with us to our home?"

Macaw could just barely see Mumblenose smiling and rolling his eyes...fondly? Maybe?

Macaw was just about to say something biting in response, until he actually considered. It would be kind of nice to have a home with other cats. Even if those cats are strange social outcasts and rejects.

And even if they have strange names and even stranger customs and live in the woods. These two were...nice.

Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. Here in the forest, no one knew they existed. Most importantly, no one could find Macaw. And the two cats were giving him warm, reassuring looks.

Macaw fully stood up from within the golden flowers. He faced them.

"You know what? Sure, why not."

"Ah-maz-ing!" Bristlescar exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Glad to have ya, mate. If you decide to stay, I'm sure you'll fit in just fine." Mumblenose added.

And with that, the two forest cats turned tail deeper into the foliage and Macaw scampered up to follow them. For once in his life, Macaw could put his past behind him and open up to a brand new, and hopefully safe, beginning.